#i need to make animations with both their music so bad or i’m gonna decay

[astaroth1357]

Hello I really love your writing. I’m glad that you decided to open requests for a bit. I have a personal headcanon that the boys are a lot nicer to MC then they are to everyone else. Could you do a headcanon of the boys being out with MC and they are talking with MC happily. Then a lesser demon sees them with MC and says that the seven brothers have gone weak and they aren’t scared of them anymore. Thank you again!!! 😖 (Also the way you write Levi is great)

Aww thank you!! Levi's kind of my favorite character (if that hasn't become painfully obvious) so I try to write him well, you know? This one was a little hard for me to write because I just have a hard time imagining Asmo and Beel as something intimidating to the masses, but I tried my best! I hope you like it!

Lesser Demons Think the Brothers have "Gone Soft…"

Lucifer

If anybody had something to lose by acting sweet on a lowly human, it was Lucifer. His entire image was built on the back of power and intimidation, so really who didn't see this coming?

He knew there were whispers… Mostly in the RAD hallways. Students would see him with the MC and gossip amongst themselves… 

"Did you see them together again in the courtyard?"

"How did some random human even score a pact with him??"

"And I used to seriously look up to him, too…"

He'd always silence their chitchat with a well placed glare, but this was a symptom of something more… troubling. A decay of his social image if you will.

Perhaps it speaks to how well and truly enamored he was with the MC that this proud creature didn't just dump them the second he started looking bad, but still… a part of him really couldn't stand for this...

So maybe it was a blessing in disguise when he finally got an excuse to establish his superiority yet again!

He and the MC were walking the halls of RAD after school hours and they had just made an amusing joke at the expense of of his brothers. Unfortunately, Lucifer collided into a lesser demon student while he was laughing…

On most occasions, he would have expected someone of such station to pay him deference then offer an apology - they had just ran into Lucifer after all - but the student just scoffed at him!

Lesser Demon: "Oi! Watch where you're going, Lucifer! Or were you too busy sucking up to that human to notice?"

This… was maybe not the best response to have (if the "Oh shit" look on the MC's face was any indication) but for as annoyed as Lucifer was, he was also somewhat delighted.

Finally, he had the perfect messenger for just how cruel he could still be!

Lucifer: "MC, feel free to go home without me for now and tell my brothers to save my dinner for later…" *starts pulling out his favorite rope with a cold, but pleased, smile on his face* "I have a feeling I'll be home late tonight..."

The MC left him and his unfortunate victim to their fate and Lucifer later came home in the night with his uniform in a bad need of cleaning...

A new body decorated the RAD entrance hall the next morning - swinging from the ceiling and making an awful mess on the floor - but still alive enough give a very important message to the rest of the students:

"Lucifer hasn't changed a bit…"

Mammon

So, not even lesser demons see Mammon as some kind of high-ranking badass… 

Just to be clear, he is, but it’s hard for him to come off that way when he's begging for his next Grimm... Then enter MC into the picture and he somehow lost even MORE cred.

"There goes poor Mammon… Did you hear he got tricked into a pact?"

"Just look at him nipping at the human's heels! How pathetic is that??"

"Well that's Mammon for you… What a shit excuse for a demon."

Like Lucifer, Mammon wasn’t immune to the whispers, but unlike his brother he was able to push them mostly out of his mind. People look down on him? Yeah, what else is new?

To be honest, he didn’t really feel the need to prove anything to a bunch of lesser demon losers… But insulting his MC takes things a step too far.

He and the MC were out at the Devil's Coast, "enjoying" some of the haunted house attractions and generally having a good time…ish. 

Any time they managed to make it out of one, the MC would have to peel Mammon off their back and hold him to assure him they were back to safety (a process he seemed to like enough to repeat the horror that precedes it).

It was during one of these calm down sessions that the two were accosted by a couple of snickering lesser demons, clearly looking for a fight…

Lesser Demon 1: "Hey look! There's the 'Great' Mammon and his little master!"

Lesser Demon 2: "Guess the master fits the demon… Of course someone like Mammon couldn't even score a pact with Solomon and gets stuck with the weakling!"

Lesser Demon 1: "Well how's the babysitting going, Mams? I bet you can't wait for them to kill over, can ya?"

Lesser Demon 2: "Careful! With his luck, they'll probably get eaten by the end of next week! Haha!!"

Now… an important thing to know about Mammon is that you can fling all the mud and stones you'd like at him… but never at his MC. That's just asking for a bruising...

Mammon: *smiling like usual, but his eyes are practically burning with rage...* "Yo, MC… I'm gettin' a little hungry. Can ya go find us a snack over there? I'll meet ya in a bit…"

MC: "Mammon, are you-?"

Mammon: "Don’t worry 'bout me, babe." *takes his glasses off and flashes a fanged grin* "This is'a piece of cake."

And indeed, it wasn't difficult at all. No matter how fast those demons ran, they could never out speed Mammon and he was looking to give more than a warning…

The MC didn't know what he did while they were waiting in line, but they heard the sounds of pleading go silent before Mammon turned back up with a nice bruise on his cheek. Oh, how they fretted and dotted on him…

Meanwhile, the haunted houses just earned themselves a couple new mannequins!… when rigor sets in anyway.

Leviathan 

Levi has a… mixed reputation in the Devildom to start with. People who only know him for his titles usually expect him to be some kind of sea-hardened badass. Those who meet him are… well let's say less than impressed.

This isn't anything new to Levi. It does take a blow to his confidence sometimes but even still most people aren't dumb enough to say something to his face… most people.

Unfortunately, "most people" have been getting bolder after seeing him with MC - because Demon Lord forbid Leviathan actually look happy for a change…

He and the MC were out and about for once. There was a raffle for exclusive merch at Anidaemon and he brought them along to boost his chances. They were grinning and chatting about anime but well…

The human couldn’t hear this, but he could - sensitive demon ears and all that. There were a couple guys who were tailing him… heckling him just loud enough that he was CERTAIN they knew he could hear them...

Lesser Demon 1: "Is that seriously Leviathan hanging out with a human? Isn’t he an Admiral??"

Lesser Demon 2: "Ha! The whole family's turned into simps, are you that surprised?"

Lesser Demon 1: "Wonder what the human's giving them that's got them all brainwashed…"

Lesser Demon 2: "Well... I've got an idea." 😏

If there were ever a reason for bile to fill his throat, it was now. He might be a shut-in, but those guys were the real creeps…

To be honest, Levi isn't one for public confrontation. Even with how gross and disrespectful those demons were being, he would have let it slide if they had just left it at that… but no…

He and the MC were browsing the ani-music racks in the store when those idiots popped up again. They hovered a while until they MC suddenly left his side to go find a store clerk.

When he saw the other demons move their direction, he naturally put himself between them and the would-be harassers. It was a little telling that despite his ticked off expression, the demons just laughed in his face!

Lesser Demon 2: "Hey look, the puppy's come out to protect its owner! How cute!"

Lesser Demon 1: "I can't believe you're that predictable, Levi… Do you really think we'd be scared of you?"

Well. That settled it.

When the MC came back, they found that Levi had moved from the music racks to the merch tables near the bathrooms. They didn't think anything of it… but...

One body was paralyzed by his venom and stuffed head first in a toilet while the other getting strangled by his tail just underneath the tablecloth… Meanwhile, Levi was cheerfully rambling about the raffle like nothing was happening at all.

Maybe they should have been a little more scared of the shut-in...

Satan

This may actually be a case where the rumors have a point… The MC has made Satan "soft."

Well, if "soft" means actually in control of himself, anyway. 

Satan would probably call their effect on him both a blessing and a curse. Though he loved finally having a handle on his inner rage, it flew in the face of a lot of his public image… and people were starting to notice….

"Do you think there's something off about Satan��?"

"I saw the human step on his toes earlier and he didn't even flinch…! The old Satan would have torn them apart!!"

"He's gotten way too nice all of sudden… Wrath shouldn't be nice."

Was it a little frustrating? Certainly. Especially for someone as image conscious as him. But for as calm as he was now, Satan wasn’t any less cruel and he'd be more than happy to remind others of that fact….

His chance came when he and the MC were together having just left the local art gallery. The two were exchanging a healthy dialogue about a curious sculpture they saw on display when a latte suddenly went soaring through the air and ended up all over Satan's sweater… The culprit was plain to see, being the only other demon on the road that night.

Whether the act was intentional or not, the correct course of action would have been to apologize immediately and beg for mercy forgiveness… but all the demon did was laugh in his face…

Maybe he thought that since Satan had mellowed out and his human was right beside him that he'd be lenient… Oh no. Not gonna happen.

Satan's fist slammed into the guy's mouth with the force of a jetliner and knocked him over two benches before his back bent over a lamppost… To say it was a KO move would be an understatement.

He probably could have done a whole lot worse to the guy while he was down, but you know… the MC being there and "self-control" and what not…

The demon survived (barely) and only had to spend a few months in the hospital, if anything he got off light.

Not a soul would gloss over Satan's temper again and really he preferred it that way.

Asmodeus 

Well, to be fair not a lot of people thought that Asmo was tough to start with… but that's also his intention.

"Scary" is the opposite of "cute" and he prefers to be "cute" at all times! 😊

Buuut that doesn’t mean this scorpion is without a stinger. He CAN be quite brutal when he wants to be, you just have to push him that far and trashing his looks is a good way to start.

Asmo was out with the MC getting his hair done for the week at his favorite salon. They weren't the only people there that day, obviously. There were other customers - one being a lesser demon classmate of theirs - though neither he nor the MC thought much of him at the time...

Well… It was supposed to be a prank. Probably something the guy intended to use for social media clout. While the staff was too busy to notice, he snuck by and replaced Asmo's preferred conditioner with pink hair dye…

Asmo. Was. Furious. And honestly, the dude could have gotten away with it if he hadn't been laughing and recording the whole thing!

When Asmo's ire naturally fell onto him, he hardly looked fazed!

Lesser Demon: "Ah, please! You won't do shit to me with the human still around! You don't want to look any uglier to them do ya?"

Asmo: *freezes, but still furiously eyeing every sharp instrument within arm’s reach* "MC? Darling?"

MC: "Got it..."

Perhaps the prankster should have kept his mouth shut, because suddenly the MC needed to take a looong bathroom break…

They didn't come back out until they heard the sounds of screeching and broken glass finally die down and then they stepped back into a warzone… Broken mirrors and items seemingly flung everywhere in a fit of rage! The guy (and his phone) now nowhere to be seen…

The salon comped Asmo for the botched hair job and touch up… and then billed Lucifer for the property damage (which he got an earful about later). On the bright side though, Asmo actually looks pretty great with pink hair! Silver-linings. 🙂

Beelzebub 

… The concept of Beel "going soft" is almost an oxymoron. He IS soft, but his personality was never what made him intimidating to start with.

Behind all his kindness, Beel packs more firepower than at least 4 for his siblings combined and most people remember that fact. Hell, the guy looks like he could lift a semi and he probably would if he ever tried. 

However, that doesn’t save him from being underestimated completely... Especially when an upstart or two thinks he's too nice to actually start a fight...

He and the MC were coming back from the grocery store with the usual armfuls of sacks when the MC accidentally walked into a lesser demon on the street. Since their arms were full, several items spilled out from the bags and onto the ground…

The MC was quick to apologize to the demon and try to get down to clean the mess, but the asshole just kept walking… and Beel really didn't like that.

Beel: "Hey! Aren't you going to say, 'Sorry?'"

The lesser demon hardly looked over his shoulder to respond.

Lesser Demon: "Why should I? That's your human. Take care of them yourself."

Well it didn't take long for some of Beel's bags to hit the floor so he could lift the demon up by the back of the neck properly. When he turned the guy to face him, he made sure to bring his face reeaal close so he could hear him growl...

Beel: "Apologize. Or I'll eat you."

And like that, the asshole's mood went from "Do it yourself," to "Yessir Mr. Beelzebub, sir!" right quick!

The MC didn't have to carry a single bag another step and Beel got to keep his free hand so he could link it with theirs!... all while Beel kept mushing their new pack-mule forward like a sled dog back to the House. Thanks, Beel! 😊

Belphegor 

Kind of similar to Asmo, Belphie prefers to come off as unassuming on most days. But don't let his, "I'm a harmless sleepy boy" shtick fool you. He will cut a bitch if he's so motivated...

Thankfully for the world, he's generally not motivated. But that can be changed under the right circumstances...

Belphie and the MC were on yet another date to the botanical gardens. It's a peaceful place, though the MC can never go alone because of the frankly concerning amount of flesh-eating plants… Pretty, but also deadly, you know?

The two of them were walking to another rest spot when Belphie heard whispering from a demon behind them, seemingly on his phone…

Lesser Demon: “Yeah, I can see them right now…”

Lesser Demon: “I know right? It's so lame that these guys are in charge of us… They can't even say no to a dumb human!”

Lesser Demon: “What do you mean keep my voice down? Dude, it's fine! This is Belphegor we're talking about, the hell is he going to do if he hears me?”

… Huh.

The answer to the man's question was a simple one. Flash into his demon form for just a moment and whip out his tail... It only took a quick swipe to make him trip and fall right into the foliage. The man-eating… carnivorous… hungry… foliage….

Belphie was back to normal by the time the jerk let out his first scream and the MC almost stopped to see what had happened.

MC: "What the-oh my God!! Should we help-??”

Belphie: *puts his hands on their shoulders to keep them moving, not even glancing back* “Someone else will take care of it. Let's see the roses.”

Even when the desperate cries for help became distant, it took all Belphie had to stifle a smile…

Sometimes, you've got to love irony. 🤷‍♀️😏

[hekatekun]

The metanarrative’s grand narrative: Osomatsu-san’s characterization throughout the franchise

The growing cynicism throughout the entire Osomatsu-san franchise shows itself in season 3 with more prominence than anything prior. I think that’s pretty common amongst any “long-running” gag comedy - replacing a plot with spiteful commentary that’s admittedly pretty hit or miss at times. However, it invariably creates a negative but pretty funny character growth, and I love the way the show (I’m including the movie too as “canon” material considering season 3 has referenced it way too many times for me to disregard) has set up this metanarrative across seasons. Long post ahead.

Obviously, Osomatsu-san is self-aware and has a casual relationship with itself. No linear plot (though S3 seems to be trying it out and I’ve enjoyed it - I love that they’re willing to experiment), rather a collection of unrelated skits; and so it points out its own metanarrative because of this “lack of consequences.” With comedy comes impermancy and Ososan AND -kun will always bounce back from that week’s insanity. From the Oxford Dictionary, a metanarrative is “a narrative account that experiments with or explores the idea of storytelling, often by drawing attention to its own artificiality.” Basically: a story about stories.

On top of this, is what I’m calling the “grand narrative,” which is often used interchangeably with metanarrative, but here I’m making a distinction to make it less confusing. Of course, Ososan is a story about stories, but with that comes a story it’s not directly telling, which is where most of the (little) character development is taking place. This is what I’m going to call the grand narrative of a show whose premise is being a meta-aware comedy. I’ll admit I’m by no means an expert on these subjects, but storytelling methods are something I enjoy trying to analyze. As a media format, Ososan really utilizes the fact that it’s a tv show.

Right off the bat S1E1 makes it clear what to expect: Nothing. Not a damn thing. But, the show had already been cleared for this first season, so it has to be produced. This same episode’s preview is done by Osomatsu, which I’m just gonna quote instead screenshot because there’s too many.

“...we plan on properly starting the anime the next episode.” “...you ended up with an extra minute, so you need me to do something to fill it?! Actually, is this anime going to be okay with episode one being like this? I’m getting worried about how the rest of this is going to be...” “There, I used up a minute! [EPISODE ENDS]”

Episode one is not only batshit referential, but downright mocking the state of anime in 2015. Which, truthfully, I don’t have much to comment on in that regard, as I’m not an avid anime fan. However, it does this under the premise of being indecisive about what kind of anime they wanted the Osokun reboot to be. 

They’ll do just about anything to stay popular and relevant considering that is, quite literally, all they have going for them as characters in the series and just being characters in general. They may be pieces of shit, but they’re likeable pieces of shit. The dynamics they’ve built upon to be entertaining is encouraged, and they’re basically just roleplaying different skits and fucking around.

All the AUs! All the skits! They’re just playing! They’re just fuckin’ around!! They couldn’t come up with any interesting plot nor could they “graduate” from being anime protagonists and join the real world, so they just fuck around and make a gag anime!

Even if we follow both as the audience, the show makes a difference between the what’s them in their “normal life” (crazy begets crazy, no?) and what’s their “show.” But, really, that’s just one way to look at it, as they don’t really follow any rules as a show. I could say the Joshimatsus are separate characters from the sextuplets, and it’d be a “correct” interpretation. It doesn’t really matter - I’m choosing to examine it all as being the six of them just running around and playing, because being entertaining and having fun is all they know as characters. Besides, having it blended together beyond recognition reinforces how it prioritizes entertaining us, the audience, above logic. Storytelling doesn’t need to make absolute spatial-temporal sense for it to be enjoyable to fans.

In any case, that mentality really seems to be what pushes their character development negative, as they look to reinforce habits and rituals despite them being really detrimental for them in the long run. They know they’re popular characters as is, and with really everyone from staff to fans encouraging this behavior further, so they see no point in fixing what isn’t really broken.

I found this 4 year old article from Manga.Tokyo discussing the Ososan phenomenon in Japan because while the craze died off pretty quickly in American anime circles (which deserves a whole other post), Japanese fans went fuckin’ nuts.

This portion caught my attention, as it makes sense that entitled and enabled asshole children would grow up to be entitled and enabled asshole adults. The article also goes on to compare them to idols (even beyond the F6 spoof) and that they are rooted in being comfort characters above all else. 

It’s worth a read, especially because Japanese fan response is what drives majority of the content post-S1, and, inevitably, ties into their character development. 

They know that they’re Characters, particularly Protagonists. You know what happens to protagonists? Everything works out. Just about every single story created has stuff working out for protagonists. In fact, we have a whole genre made that separates stories with bad tragic endings from our Normal Stories. Ososan is a comedy, not a tragedy, so surely there’s gonna be some payoff somewhere along the road, especially as the seasons and other content are still being pumped out. To a self-aware, entitled, enabled protagonist, assuming everything is just gonna work out for you isn’t that far off from your narrative truth.

However, Ososan is a gag anime, and a lot of gag content (like 4koma mangas) is dropped for other projects before any emotional cathartic ending is provided for characters and fans alike. So, three seasons and a movie later, nothing has happened. It’s a great idol cash cow with a Family Guy filter, and the characters (and writers) don’t even bother to hide it anymore. And I know I’m being hypocritical concerning my definition of “canon material” but I think this portion from one of the drama cds “Choroplex” basically summarizes my point:

CHOROMATSU: Wait, don’t make this into a gag! You don’t even care about becoming employed, right? KARAMATSU: There’s no way that could happen... CHOROMATSU: What kind of future are you imagining? Is it nothing but this? [HUGE PAUSE BEFORE THEY MOVE ONTO SOMETHING ELSE]

They’re parodies of themselves and are running out of ideas. Stagnation and decay is normal, if not unavoidable, at this point in time for them. They’re just 20 somethings who’ve hit a wall but they’re too scared and insecure to bring about permanent positive change. It’s easier for them to fall back into normal patterns and joke off the rest.

They have an antagonistic relationship with expectations. They can’t handle a single iota of expectations, or responsibilities. They’ve never needed to worry before, so why bother now? Once the biggest hits on the block, now they’re just guppies in the ocean, and there’s nothing they believe themselves to be able to accomplish to keep up with this big brave new world. This is epitomized in S3E15, where old man Osomatsu tells a bastardized version of the Tortoise and the Hare, blatantly projecting his feelings onto it. Again, too many screenshots so let me pull more quotes (bolding for my own reference):

“The place that the tortoise thought was the goal was not actually the goal. His journey down the road of life still continued on. The tortoise was quite tired, but he continued running anyway.” “No one actually knew who was in front anymore. There are too many people above you.” “After the tortoise found out how society worked, he thought, ‘So this is the difference in talent? No amount of hard work is going to fix this. All right. I’m done competing with others.’”

S3 has left more questionable endings than its counterparts. The last 2 skits I referenced don’t even a gag to them, and the marriage skit doesn’t play music for the entire second half of S3E5. There’s more involved too. I haven’t even brought up the rice ball twins becoming actual entertainers in their universe, or how they introduced this whole AI subplot only to reject it because All Six Of Them aren’t interested in expanding their little corner of the world. Here’s a transcript of the ending preview from S3E1:

“Hey, hey, Osomatsu here. I thought we were saved from being replaced, but I guess we get new characters next week. Man, we’re busy. New encounters, changing surroundings... We’re NEETs to begin with because all that is a pain. I guess a lot can happen after three seasons. [EPISODE ENDS]”

The sextuplets’ mindsets are extremely self-centered, which is also an environmental thing (the parents don’t even really care that they’re NEETs, for one) and an understanding of what they ought to be (epic successful protagonists). They also have a very black and white mentality, all or nothing. They’re extremely sheltered, and once they realized where they stood in society at large, they just gave up. To them the world is divided between winners and losers, and somehow, “inexplicably,” they found themselves to have fallen from grace. But they’re protagonists, that has to count for something! Everything’s gonna end up okay, right? Well... what this show has told them: No, not at all. They are consistently compared and warned of Iyami, and are perfectly aware of this fact, and have come to internalize it as a truth rather than a reversible self-fulfilling prophecy.

Too many screencaps, taken from the S3S5 marriage discussion:

JYUSHIMATSU: I wonder if we’re gonna get married someday, too. CHOROMATSU: Well, I mean... probably? I’m not exactly sure, but... TODOMATSU: What? You’re gonna get married, Choromatsu-niisan? CHOROMATSU: Huh? Well, yeah... someday.

Surprise! They have commitment issues! The same group that couldn’t commit to a fucking plot! Though their personality issues have several factors involved, I can’t overlook the theater motifs abound. Life’s a stage, and they’re performing entirely unscripted and it shows.

Do I think all of this is 100% intentional on the writers’ part? No, probably not. There’s also an extra layer here regarding contemporary Japanese commentary that I’m not familiar with, so I just ended up focusing on the characters. I can’t be in the writers’ heads, but whatever decisions are being made by executives regarding censorship and “compliance” are reflected in these character changes that result in being significantly more bitter and defeatist.

In the all or nothing, winner-take-all mentality, the only way to save face at this point, in their minds, is to own up to it - act like it’s what they wanted all along. And, hey, it’s funny to watch, right?

“Why is Osomatsu all my examples”, you might be asking. Well, he’s the damn blueprint for it all. The leader of the bunch, the first personality to grab your attention, has had all his issues projected and ricocheted in their echo chamber.

Ultimately, my point here is that you could think their “canon characterizations” (though canon means nothing in a show like this) as being intertwined with the nature of their self-aware existence. They’ve shown you all their tricks, the smoke and mirrors are getting boring, and they’re stalling long enough the story seems to be moving on without them - in spite of them. And when something genuinely threatens their way of life, they don’t know how to respond.

You can play it all straight, of course. Remove the meta jokes and all the same plot points can be hit, but, as a slapstick comedy, it’s able to easily add this additional layer in that I appreciate. I’ve said it in my last post and I’ll probably say it in more, but with comedy comes sincerity - the caveat of all the cartoon violence is that, on some level somewhere, this is how they really feel.

[sstarcry]

Into the fire chapter 1

The once bright white room i had been confined to became shrouded in darkness. I recognized a voice coming from the hall, the voice that belonged to carlos. I watched as my cell door opened, I hid further in the corner, not wanting to be poked and prodded again for the third time today. A mop of messy black hair came into my vision. It wasa carlos.

“It's okay, I'm here to get you out. I'm not letting them turn you into one of those things. But we have to move fast.” he said, hoisting me up off of the floor.

Could I really be getting out of this hellscape? He quickly grabbed a small bag from one of the lockers as we ran.

“Carlos? Why save me?” I asked, my voice strained after not talking for years.

“You deserve a future, not torment. I refuse to let them take you to South america. There's a rescue team headed our way.” he said, pulling me up the stairs of a clock tower. The city looked different. Cars were on fire, and it smelled of death and decay.

“Jill? Are you okay? I'm back and I have him with me. We can get out of here as soon as they arrive.”

That was over 20 years ago. In Raccoon city.

“Kole, are you even listening to me?” Chris, or captain redfield, asked me

“Yes sir, sorry sir.” i said still looking at the table below my arms

“Chris calm down. The kids been through hell, show some sympathy.” Jill said, giving him a smack on the back of the head. “I know you're bad with rookies but c'mon, he's only 28. He got out of Raccoon city with Carlos and i. God knows the horrors he's seen.” she said, ushering me out of the conference room.

“Are you okay?” she asked, placing a hand on my shoulder.

“Im fine, it's just. Been 23 years since then and I can't shake it. I'm sorry.” I said looking down.

“Why don't you go sit with Leon in his office? He needs the company, even if he says he doesn't.” she softly spoke, rubbing my shoulder.

“I'll see if he’ll let me.” I said turning away from her.

“If he says no, tell him he’ll have to deal with me.”

“Thanks Jill, really.” I said, offering her a small smile.

I hesitantly knocked on his office door, still shy even after knowing him since he got back from Spain in ‘04. “Leon? Can I come in?” I asked behind the closed door.

“Sure thing kid.” he said as i opened the door “You okay? You seem lost.”

“I'm surviving, just memories y'know?” I said sitting in my usual spot in the corner chair beside him.

“I heard Chris from here. I dont want you to take this mission. Its too much like raccoon city, and I don't want to put you through that again. Okay?” he said, turning away from his pile of paperwork to look at me. “I still can't believe that you made it out. Hell, I'm still in awe of your resilience. And carlos’ dedication to get you out.” he said, placing a hand on my knee. “Stay in here as long as you like. I’ll be doing paperwork but if you feel like talking, just speak up okay?”

“Okay. thank you.”

Almost as soon as I finished my sentence Chris barged in.

“Kole, what are you doing. Were supposed to be leaving for Delena in 20 minutes.” he practically yelled at me

“I'm not letting him go. It's too similar to Raccoon city. That's an order Redfield.” Leon said, looking at the boulder of a man. “Besides, I'm sure you've got this handled. I'm not letting him go through what i did.”

“Just because he's still young doesn't exclude him from his duties, Leon.” Chris said with unwavering intensity.

“But he's still a DSO agent, so what I say goes in case you forgot. So get out of my office Chris.” Leon said, waving his hand in the direction of the door.

By the time they finished their conversation I was shaking, memories flooding my head of the cruel basement of umbrella. “It's time for your treatment, Kole. Follow Wesker.”

“N-no please no.” “grab him. And don't hurt him too bad we still need him alive. This is Austin, subject 0-009 is showing resistance.” “P-Please dont hurt me. I-i’ll be good promise…”

The room felt like it was closing in and the air became harder and harder to breathe. I felt a whimper escape my throat as I curled up into a tighter ball.

“Kole, hey. It's just me, Leon. It's just us.no one else is here.” I could barely hear him over the sound of them. “Wesker, put him in the room. We need him to be calm for this one.” “Yes sir. C'mon kid, don't make this any harder than it has to be.” “Wesker, please don't make me sit in the room again…” I said as sobs racked my body.

“Hey, hey now. Look at me.” Leon said, placing both hands on my shoulders and giving them a small rub. “I need you to breathe. Wesker isn't here. He got what was coming to him. I promise.” he said, wrapping his arms around me. “Shhh it's okay. I'm here now. And I won't let anyone hurt you, okay?”

“O-okay.” I said, mimicking his breathing, still shaking.

“Dont worry ill talk with Chris when he gets back. I hate seeing you this way.” he said, placing a kiss on the top of my head and rubbing my back. My grip on him got tighter as he rocked us back and forth. Soon my breathing evened out but his grip on me didn't falter. “I'm gonna make a quick call to Hunnigan and have someone do this paperwork so we can go home okay?”

“Okay, as long as we can cuddle for the rest of the day. I'm just drained.'' I said leaning into his chest as he picked up the phone on the desk.

“Anything for my baby.” he said before dialing Hunnigan. “Hey Hunnigan, I'm gonna need the rest of the day off. Yeah it was another bad one. Alright thanks.” he said into the receiver then hung up, helping me to my feet. “You ready to go baby?” he asked, standing up and grabbing my hand.

“I guess so.” I said following him out of the office and into the elevator. “Sorry for being a pain in the ass.”

“You are the furthest thing from a pain in the ass. Now Chris on the other hand.” He said with a light chuckle, wrapping his arms around my waist. “You, my sweet boy, are absolutely perfect in my eyes.” he softly spoke before kissing my forehead. “I wouldn’t trade this for the world.”

“Wow Leon, getting soft?”I asked him as the elevator doors opened to the car park. “Who'd've thought that it'd take a traumatized man to make you soft hm?” I asked him as we approached his car. Usually he'd ride the ducati but it was raining so he left it at home.

“I get that Chris is pushing 50 but he doesn't have to play the grumpy old man act.” Leon said opening the car door for me. “At least Jill keeps him in line.”

I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat. “Damn babe tell me how you really feel.” I said watching him put the key in the ignition, cranking it. “But you aren’t exactly wrong.”

“Besides, he shouldn’t be that harsh on you. I've told him once before not to do that but I have no problem reminding him. Well, let's get home before the storm gets any worse.” he said exiting the parking deck.

The ride home was mostly silent, minus the soft music coming from the speakers and the occasional boom of thunder. I'm surprised that he still listens to the playlist I made him a few years back.

As we opened the front door we were greeted by our two cats, Ghost and Monty. “Hi boys, did you miss us?” I asked them, getting a loud meow in response from Ghost. “C’mere buddy.” i said picking him up and walking to our shared bedroom.

“You sure have a way with animals” Leon said as he took off his shoes, then followed closely behind me. “Don’t let them take up all the space in the bed will ya?”

“No promises. They have a mind of their own.” I said putting Ghost down and proceeding to take off my work clothes. I looked over my shoulder to see Leon doing the same.

“Cmere.” He said, opening his arms wide. I returned his embrace as he slowly walked back to the bed, pulling me down with him. “Move kitty. I want to cuddle with him, not you.” He said getting a meow in response.

“I don’t think he liked that Leon.” I said resting my head on his chest allowing his heartbeat to calm me.

He chuckled and pulled me closer. “Eh, he can think what he wants.” He said kissing my forehead. “Besides, the second the storm picks up again, he’ll be scurrying under the bed.” Sure enough, bright flash of lightning came through the window followed by a loud clap of thunder. I watched as ghost went from enjoying the pets Leon was giving him to running as fast as he could to get under the bed. “See?”

A small laugh escaped my lips as I watched the whole thing. “What can I say? He’s just a ScaredyCat.”

“Hey, I’m the one who makes the bad jokes!” He said pulling me up on top of him.

“Well looks like I just beat you to the punchline then.” I said sitting up slightly to look at him. His icy eyes held a gleam of happiness in them, a rare sight for him. His hand came up to caress my cheek and pull me into a sweet kiss.

“How did I get so lucky to have this. I thought for the longest time that I’d never feel slightly normal but I wouldn’t trade this for the world.” He said, carding his fingers through my short hair. A hum of content left my throat as I laid my head back down on his chest, just savoring the moment before something inevitably interrupted it. And to my surprise, I was able to drift off into a peaceful sleep as his hands rubbed patterns into the small of my back

Tag list

@thatgoblin @void-of-anarchy @questionedturkey

[lesdemonium]

romtober day 8: love breaking a curse

Rating: T Ship: Geraskier Word Count: 2696 Summary: Geralt receives a contract to take care of a creature haunting the castle overlooking a village. Geralt decides he might be able to save the creature instead. 

AN: ok i'm gonna warn y'all before you start--i make no fucking effort to wrap this up. this is basically 3kish words of an idea for a longfic, which has been rattling around inside my brain and hopefully will get written eventually. but if i get any angry messages about the curse not getting broken or me leaving this without any sort of resolution, i will give you sassy responses. your expectations should now have been adjusted accordingly!

if you like this idea and would like to eventually see a resolution, lmk! i find it fun and would love to get back to it, if there's an interest.

read on ao3

The castle was freezing. Geralt had barely stepped past the threshold before he could see his breath fogging out before him. Outside, it had been a spring morning, on the cooler side, but still held a hint of warmth. Inside, the air felt harsh against his skin, cold enough to cause pinpricks of pain.

It was dark and dusty. Cobwebs covered everything and the furniture and paintings showed a level of degradation Geralt wasn’t expecting. The castle hadn’t been deserted for long, maybe a few decades at most, and yet it looked as if it had been abandoned centuries ago. The cold, the rot, the stillness of the air, the overwhelming feeling of decay, it left Geralt feeling as if he’d never be warm again. This place reeked of sadness.

As he stepped inside and carefully closed the door behind him, he heard something shift in one of the rooms beyond what he could see. There had been reports of a specter, of a monster, of a something haunting the deserted castle, and the forests around. The villagers were scared to go near it. They were convinced if they drew too close, they would die an unspeakable death. Better to have a Witcher go and take care of the problem for them.

Geralt followed the sound, though he was unsure if it was the creature or just an animal that had looked for warmth. He dispelled that thought, however--it was so much colder inside than beyond the castle walls, he was certain no animal in its right mind would seek out this place for protection from the elements. Something shifted again, and a cracking sound echoed through the halls. Geralt pulled out his silver sword and stepped carefully, silently.

He came to a large, open room, with wide windows, many of which were shattered. A ballroom, maybe. Once, it might have been grand, but now it was just as destroyed as the rest of the castle. Geralt edged a foot forward, crossing the threshold.

A voice, high and inhuman, hissed its way through the air. “Go away,” it said, and Geralt whipped his head around to find the source. 

There, in the corner, he saw it. What, exactly, he was seeing, Geralt wasn’t entirely sure. The figure was humanoid, almost, but much taller than the average human with long limbs and sharp angles. The skin was partially translucent, like glass, but splattered with hundreds of flecks of black and dark gray and brown to muddy its appearance. It stretched as tall as it could, its arms and legs lengthened to make it appear more imposing than it actually was, and if Geralt was human, he was sure he would cower at this icy creature that was easily ten, twelve feet tall.

Geralt was not human, however. And despite the way the creature attempted to make itself look like a threat, Geralt noticed the way it remained bent in on itself, and as far from Geralt as he could get. 

“What are you?” Geralt asked, pulling himself fully into the room.

A scream rung out in the room, high and hissing like the voice had been, and Geralt had to brace himself against the wall to keep from being flung. The windows rattled and Geralt heard one high above shatter, only to rain down on the creature. It did not react. Instead, it seemed to close in on itself more.

“Go away,” the creature insisted again, but now the voice sounded more human, and far more sad than Geralt was expecting. A man’s voice.

“I’m a Witcher,” Geralt said. He returned his sword to his scabbard, then held his hands out in front of him, palms facing the creature to show he meant no harm. “I was hired to investigate this castle, rid it of whatever was haunting it. But I think you mean them no harm.”

“Go away,” the creature repeated. He sounded desperate now, and Geralt saw the way he pressed up against the wall behind him, like he was trying to get away from Geralt. Geralt stopped.

“I can help you.”

“No one can help me,” the creature answered. Ah. So he could say more.

“I could try.” Geralt looked around. “Is this your home?”

“It was.”

“What happened to it?”

The creature was silent for a long time. Then, the room erupted into color, and light, and warmth. The debris littering the floor was gone, and it revealed a beautiful marble floor, so clean and shiny Geralt was sure he could see his face reflected in it. He was right, the room had been grand, with the large windows letting in so much light. Geralt started when a body moved through him--a specter, a visual trick the creature was creating just for him. Couples danced, and now Geralt could just barely hear the music, and the far-off sound of voices and laughter.

“A witch,” the creature said, and it felt as if the voice was in his head. 

Geralt saw her now. She was beautiful, in a floor length gown and a deep purple cloak that flowed around it. The witch stepped up to a man, young and beautiful and dressed in finery, who held out his hand. She accepted, and they joined the other couples dancing.

Just as quickly as the couple appeared, they faded into nothingness, and Geralt watched as the entire illusion faded into the disrepair it was now. The creature slumped, all of his energy gone.

“Were you the man?” Geralt asked.

“I was,” the creature answered.

“What’s your name?” Gerlt asked.

“Go away.”

“What’s your name?” Geralt asked again.

“Go away!” the creature insisted, his voice taking on the hissing, harsh, inhuman quality again.

“I want to help you.”

“No one can help me!” Now the creature stood up again, and Geralt tried to brace himself again for the scream, but it was louder this time, more powerful. Furniture moved across the floor, and the wind whipped around him, picking up in intensity as it carried off the creature’s final “Go away!”

Geralt barely registered escaping, but he found himself outside the castle and wind slammed the giant door shut behind him.

--

The next day, Geralt wore the furs he had unpacked from Roach’s saddlebag. She was safely stabled in the village, and Geralt left her with the stablehand and thorough instructions.

Getting to the castle was no easier the second time as it was the first. It was perched high on a mountain, surrounded by large, tall, thick trees. It made little sense--surely there would be an easier way to travel between the castle and the village, as this castle would have presided over the village. Perhaps the creature had a hand in making it inaccessible.

Impossibly, the castle was colder when Geralt finally pushed his way inside. The door had been blocked off with debris, the creature clearly thinking that a little effort and a thick tree branch were enough to deter Geralt from his mission. They were not. Geralt was made of far sturdier stuff than that.

Geralt had barely cleared the doorway when he heard that hissing voice again.

“Go away!”

“No,” Geralt answered. He planted his feet, sure that another display of the creature’s power was coming, but after a few moments, Geralt still only heard silence. He made his way back to the ballroom.

The creature was not there.

He searched the surrounding rooms, but there was no sight of him. There were about a hundred more rooms in the castle that he could have searched through, but Geralt had a feeling even if he did, the creature would be one step ahead of him.

“You could make this easier on both of us and just show yourself,” Geralt said.

The creature’s only answer was a quick burst of wind that blew leaves into Geralt’s hair.

“Have it your way,” he answered.

Geralt made his way back to the ballroom. This was where he set up his supplies. He had planned for an extended stay this time, complete with rations, extra bedding, and even a tent in case his host was feeling like manipulating the weather. By the time he was finished, he caught a flickering in the corner of his eye, and turned to look.

The creature was now in the corner, right where he had been the day before, and whatever magic he had used to make himself invisible was wearing out. Or he was choosing to allow Geralt to see him.

Satisfied, Geralt sat himself upon his bedroom, his legs crossed, and faced the creature. For a long moment, they just stared at each other.

“Why are you still here?” Geralt asked.

“It’s my home.” The creature sounded offended, but at least his voice was human.

“Are you stuck here?”

The creature didn’t answer, but the wind blew another clump of leaves at Geralt’s face.

“What’s your name?” Geralt asked, to help squash the grin growing on his face.

“Jaskier.”

Geralt hummed. “That’s a bad name for an ice monster.”

This time, when the leaves hit his face, he didn’t bother hiding his grin.

“What are you?” Geralt asked.

“Shouldn’t you know that, Witcher?”

“I’ve never seen anything like you,” Geralt answered, figuring honesty was probably what was needed here to get the creature--Jaskier--on his side. “And you didn’t tell me much about how you came to be.”

The wind swirled in the room, and Geralt watched the leaves spin in circles as Jaskier, presunably, mulled this over. At least they weren’t flying toward his face this time.

“Cursed,” Jaskier finally answered.

“By the witch?”

“Yes. Marikka.”

Geralt hummed. “You knew her. Why did she curse you?”

Behind him, a door slammed. Geralt turned to look at it, and saw it swaying open again, apparently broken. He hadn’t even felt the wind, but when he looked back to Jaskier, he could just barely see the pinched expression on his face. It was hard, from this distance, but the message was clear. Back off.

Geralt wouldn’t.

“How am I supposed to help you if you don’t give me any information?” Geralt asked, rolling his eyes.

The door slammed again, and this time Geralt didn’t look. Over and over, it banged against the threshold, but as it went on, the less pointed it seemed. The wind kicked up around him, swirling the leaves and debris and creating little tornados. Jaskier didn’t scream, but it was a near thing. Geralt felt the anguish there.

“I can’t help you unless you help me,” Geralt said, standing up. He held his hands out again, and tried to inch closer to Jaskier. “I can’t break this curse if I don’t know what it is.”

“Then don’t!” Jaskier screamed back, sounding more like a wraith than he had yet. Geralt kept moving closer, even as the wind picked up, his steps slow and steady. This time, he’d make it to Jaskier. He knew he would.

That was his last thought before Jaskier sent a burst of wind directly at him. So strong Geralt flew off the ground, and right into a marble pillar. He was unconscious before he hit the ground.

--

When Geralt woke, he was in another room entirely.

The bed he was in wasn’t destroyed, exactly, but it certainly showed its wear and tear. Cloth just didn’t last that long, and as a result the canopy above him was in tatters, and the blanket over him didn’t hold in the warmth as much as his furs had. Still, he noted the effort that Jaskier--it had to be Jaskier--put in, even if Geralt was shivering from the moment he woke up.

“Jaskier?” he called, as he sat up. 

There was no response, and Jaskier wasn’t in the room. Geralt stood and--checking to make sure there were no damages, or that he was healed of any that had been there--made his way back to the ballroom. When he got to the door, it wouldn’t budge.

“Jaskier, I know you’re doing this,” Geralt said patiently. “Let me in.”

“No. Go away.” Jaskier still sounded as if he was in the same room, rather than behind the ornate door.

“That hasn’t worked every other time you said it, and it won’t work this time.” Geralt pushed on the door again, and it budged, but swiftly closed again, knocking Geralt back. “Please don’t launch me again.”

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier said, and he did sound remorseful. Miserable, even. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know you didn’t,” Geralt answered. “You were in pain. I knew you were lashing out, and I still got too close. I forgive you.”

There was a long silence, and when Geralt tried the door again, it gave way. The room was even more destroyed. Broken glass was everywhere, and while he was out, the chandelier had given way. It now lay destroyed in the center of the room.

“Jaskier, what happened?” Geralt asked, turning to face Jaskier, back in his place on the far side of the room. As always.

“I’m sorry,” Jaskier repeated, sounding no less miserable than he had before.

“So this… was you?” Jaskier didn’t answer, but Geralt took it as an admission. “Because you were upset? Guilty?”

“For hurting you,” Jaskier agreed.

“I’m fine, Jaskier. I heal. I’ve gotten worse injuries than a smack to the head.” He bent to pick up one of his own belongings, which were now strewn about the room. “I’m going to set up my camp again. I won’t approach you, but I might have to get closer.”

The wind kicked up again, but only strong enough to blow some of his belongings closer to Geralt. Geralt smiled, then set himself on the task of setting up camp again. By the time he was finished, the sun that had been shining through the windows had grown low in the sky. Geralt had a feeling, with his long healing rest, that he wasn’t going to sleep much today.

“You can leave this room,” Geralt said. It was as much a statement as a question. He was pretty sure Jaskier didn’t use wind to carry him the whole way upstairs, into the bed, and under the covers. He didn’t seem strong enough, except when he was upset. That meant he had to have carried Geralt. “Why don’t you?”

“I like it,” Jaskier answered.

There was a pause, then slowly the room started to change back into that magnificent vision Jaskier had given him before. Jaskier, it seemed, remembered this room in sunlight and warmth, despite the growing darkness outside and the ever-present cold. This time, the room was empty of people, aside from a small boy playing a piano. His melody was rough, clearly he was still learning, but as the song went on, he grew better. He grew older.

Soon, Geralt was looking at the boy turned young man. Jaskier, it had to be. Jaskier wasn’t dressed in his finery this time; instead he wore a pair of trousers and a loose-fitting shirt, unbuttoned far below what Geralt was sure was appropriate. The music he played was beautiful and had a great deal of character and humor pressed into it. He had never heard this song before.

“You like music,” Geralt said.

The image before him changed rapidly. Images of Jaskier playing a piano, images of Jaskier dancing, playing a lute, singing, writing. They went too fast for Geralt to get a good look at anything, but he knew this was a correction. Jaskier didn’t like music, Jaskier loved music.

“How long have you been here?” Geralt asked.

The image of Jaskier changed. It was horrific, Jaskier’s take on his transformation. The memory-Jaskier’s body twisted and cracked in unnatural, painful ways, sharp edges breaking out of his skin and enveloping him in ice. His mouth opened in a silent scream as his legs and arms grew long, long, longer, until he was the creature Jaskier was today. The warmth crept out of the room, and slowly the ruin grew, until Geralt found himself right back in the destroyed ballroom, all illusions gone.

“A long time,” Jaskier answered.

[noddytheornithopod]

Okay, here’s my full thoughts on the Phineas and Ferb effect, SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT:

My feelings are growing increasingly mixed. I want to make it clear that I DID enjoy the episode despite the language barrier, and it’s likely many issues I have could be fixed when we get English subtitles, but given how a lot of stuff was handled, I’m not sure how much is gonna be fixed. I mean, many people who watched the Russian dub of AYA didn’t change opinions at all when the English version finally came out. Time for specifics:

- Okay I know what you’re all wondering: how did I feel about Isabella’s appearance? My feelings are like the episode overall, mixed. When I saw her and the Fireside Girls show up to rescue the others I was pretty happy, and seeing her turned into a Pistachion now turned against Phineas and Ferb was quite terrifying. But then... I started to think. I don’t really have an issue with the fact her role was absurdly small (apparently Bradley has more lines lol), I mean based on the promos I was expecting it to be so. My issue was more how poorly integrated into the story she was.

Like, I can see an early version of the episode with her being with Buford and Baljeet (you know, what I thought was the most logical way to go :V), but then they wrote themselves into a corner with Phineas, Ferb, Milo and co being captured and someone needed to get them out. Ergo, Isabella was then written to go guerilla with the Fireside Girls (which does make sense at least) and then show up to untie them and drop off the Milo mech.

Like I said, in-universe this is all perfectly logical. My issue is how Isabella was basically just there to be a plot device, not only that but what is basically a deus ex machina to free the others. She did her plot things, and then all she was there for was to be transformed and brainwashed into a pistachion minion. And then after she becomes herself again, she doesn’t show up with the other friends at the end, which I find pretty weird. Like, okay, Isabella didn’t get to meet the MML characters properly so I can see the reasoning I guess, but it still felt odd that now things were normal she wasn’t hanging out with them? I guess Fireside Girl duties call for a report on the nut people invasion or something lol. Or the rift between her and Phineas is already beginning, cue Act Your Age music.

- SPEAKING OF DEUS EX MACHINAS... I don’t know if they set this up in any dialogue, but I kinda doubt it. But anyway... Professor Time. Besides some things I’ll get to in a bit, the way he resolved everything was my least favourite thing about the ep. Like, he literally just shows up at the end, picks up Orton and takes him back to 1965 to kill Derek. And like... if he was going to do that anyway, does this mean if nobody did anything and Orton just needed to be sent back to his time, everything was basically pointless? Like, I REALLY hope there’s dialogue clarifying this, because if Professor Time just shows up and goes and kills Derek with Orton anyway, it basically renders the episode pointless, which is pretty unfortunate.

This isn’t something I thought about at first, but it’s also pretty weird that we have such major information about Doofenshmirtz being dropped here after his show? Others have better articulated thoughts on this than I do, but it’s pretty odd. I think it was described to me like it was instead about this persona Doofenshmirtz has invented for himself instead of Doof himself.

- Probably the main thing I was initially disappointed with at first was Candace. At first everything seemed fine. I’ve seen some concern over whether she was in character, but so far everything seemed fine to me. Well, until she was captured. Then she was suddenly gone in the final act, only there to be tied up and turned into a pistachion. Like, the scenes with Candace and Milo seem great already, but then suddenly she’s not important. She’s basically THE main character of PnF, and she’s a complete non-presence in the final act. I forget if she even had any lines there. And like Isabella, she doesn’t show up with the others at the end, except with her it makes sense for her to since she got to know the others.

Seriously, she appears and is in the plot, but then suddenly she doesn’t even matter. It’s so messily written. I’ve been discussing her with other people too and they also find it odd that she didn’t really have much agency in the plot, which is probably because we’re used to her being a protagonist, she’s always there with her own strong plot or character arc for the episode while here she’s merely a supporting character. This isn’t her story, sure, but she doesn’t exactly get to do much here in terms of actual plot contribution even if she did suggest weaponsing Murphy’s Law. I also looked at reactions where she didn’t feel too in-character, and while I disagree with the idea overall, I do see that because she’s now a supporting character her defining traits aren’t really there? As a result, the lack of character focus means we don’t get to explore much of how she feels about this, which I guess people find off because she’s such a strong character who always has some major reactions to things. I felt like her pessimism towards Milo made sense, and I mean overall I didn’t think Candace was OOC, but I think it’s more that she was just given such a minor role compared to what she’s used to that she didn’t get much time to shine beyond the Milo interactions.

Also... her introduction was eh. I did like the shadow gag and I get she was focused on her phone and stuff, but it felt pretty random for her to just show up unassuming of anything going on (I mean, everything is fucking decaying around her lol). Also... Ducky Momo Go. It was such a serious “HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS?” moment.

- Say, speaking of “HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS?”... Baljeet dabbing. I have no words. BALJEET FUCKING DABBING. WHAT EVEN WAS THAT?

- Baljeet and Buford are... interesting. Baljeet was probably one of the better handled character in my eyes actually. Like, he wasn’t too big, but it made sense for a character like him. He had memorable moments interacting with Zack and Melissa (and... THAT), and he actually contributed to the plot by helping figure out how to do the whole Milo mech thing. I definitely want to hear his dialogue for sure. Buford on the other hand was completely pointless narrative wise. He was just there because we gotta have all the main Phineas and Ferb characters so we can have our big reunion and then make him an evil brainwashed nut dude in the climax.

- Alongside Candace the other PnF character I feel really got screwed over was Perry. Again, he shows up and is great (even if I was surprised how short his time with Milo was) and is there doing stuff, but then suddenly he’s sideline to the point of basically not even existing. When they go to the island, I forget if he’s even there. Doof could’ve used his company I feel. :V And again in the final act, he’s only there briefly and then is irrelevant once Phineas sees him. Like, he just shows up, beat up some pistachions, Phineas sees him and then he and Diogee disappear from the episode. We really could’ve used your help against Derek and his machine, Perry. :V And yeah, Diogee is similar. He just is there for a bit and disappears from the episode.

- The Island of Lost Dakotas reveal is something I’m going to have to wait on. The stuff we saw seemed good enough, but I’m definitely going to need the English dialogue to make a true judgement. I’ll say this though: I’m not sure if this was the right place to have this reveal. We didn’t get much time exploring Cavendish’s reaction before they got the Dakotas as their army to fight the pistachions, I feel like Cavendish discovering the island is something that deserves its own episode focused on it. In general Cavendish and Dakota were good though.

- Phineas and Ferb were mostly fine I feel. I did see some saying Ferb’s role felt minor, but I felt like he was at least there enough (and to be fair being the quiet one he’s also had this situation before, like in AT2D). That English clip where he says “nutjobbers” just feels off to me though. Like, besides Baljeet, they were actually there doing stuff and had a presence in the story. Milo worked as well I think overall, given he’s the protagonist and such. I did like what we saw of their interactions, and of course the idea of using positive PnF energy to weaponise Milo’s negative energy was really cool.

- Zack and Melissa are kind of a Buford and Baljeet situation. Melissa was there enough to warrant her presence and she was doing stuff, but Zack didn’t really have much of a presence. It wasn’t as bad as Buford, but he didn’t really have anything to do. Where Melissa and of course Zack fail though is the final act - they’re the other main characters alongside Milo in Milo Murphy’s Law, and like Candace their presence was barely there. They didn’t really do anything relevant in the final act after being freed except joining the brainwashed nut people horde. They at least were there at the end, but still I’m not exactly satisfied with their roles in the episode.

- All of the other characters were fine even if they were minor I guess. Minor characters are gonna be minor, lol.

- Most of the gags I caught despite the language barrier were funny. As said, I still enjoyed the episode even if I found its handling of the characters quite botched.

- The music department was good, I can’t wait to hear both Baljeet’s version of Chop Away at my Heart and the Orton and Doof duet. I liked the scoring too, some themes I did recognise from earlier PnF and MML material but some stuff seemed new, I’m not sure if I heard the rock score during the pistachion battle before (around when pnf and milo get the mech and derek is turning their friends into pistachions).

- Animation was fine, I guess? Some stuff looked a bit off but it might have just been lighting or a low budget. I think some of the closer details may be off but I’m not here to nitpick, I didn’t find anything super distracting.

- I think the issues with the characters and plotting are down to one big factor: it’s a crossover trying to cram too much into 44 minutes, that and also meant to resolve story arcs from Season 1 of Milo Murphy’s Law. They wanted to do this big special where all of the PnF and MML characters get to play off each other, but we unfortunately didn’t seem to get much of that (though maybe English dialogue will remedy that). Instead of actually getting to compare and contrast the characters and themes of the show, they had to focus on the plot to resolve the pistachion storyline (a plot solved by a deus ex machina no less). As a result, we get something that’s more plot driven than character driven, which is not what a crossover should be.

Also, this only really confirms my fears about Milo Murphy’s Law being stuck in Phineas and Ferb’s shadow. After seeing something that was this messily written despite being enjoyable, I definitely think Milo Murphy’s Law crossed over with Phineas and Ferb too soon. I don’t feel like they absolutely needed Phineas and Ferb in this storyline, not when they didn’t really get to explore the themes and characters of the respective shows. It’s like they were pushed to have the crossover too early despite always intending to have both shows in the same universe, and thus we get something where the PnF characters are here simply because they have to be instead of it feeling more natural.

Simple things that I think would’ve made it work better? If they had to do the pistachion storyline, give us less characters. It feels so all over the place and imbalanced. I would’ve been fine with just Phineas, Ferb and Candace in the A-plot to be honest. Less awkward spreading out thinly and more time devoted to the central characters of each show. But to be honest... I feel like a crossover shouldn’t have been plot driven like this. The characters here had to resolve a complex plot instead of getting most of their time to be themselves. They could still have some event to generate conflict of course, but it should be something where the characters interacting gets focus and they drive the story instead of it being something where they have to serve a plot first and all of that comes second.

Also I think it should be acknowledged: like Act Your Age (which I feel has shockingly similar parallels to this situation), I think hype backlash is certainly a possibility in how I feel. Like I’m not gonna lie, I am disappointed. Still though, even if it’s a factor, the fact that I’m able to pinpoint the issues I have so easily instead of it just being a vague emotional reaction is a shame.

[thorinkingoferebor]

Some thoughts on the horse accident simulator and sad outlaws :(

okay, so this is the big old game impressions post I promised. don’t know how organized it’ll be since I’m still in a state of grief but here we go. First part is spoiler free, whenever there’s a number after a comment you can scroll down to the end to find a more in-depth comment containing spoilers. There’s a clear separation between the spoiler-free part and the rest with a lot of empty lines so you can stop ready before it gets dangerous^^

General comments:

in case you somehow managed to miss this despite me screaming about this game for 3+ weeks: I loved it. So freaking much! I don’t want to rank it cause it’s all still fresh and it wouldn’t be a fair competition atm but it’s definitely in my top 3. there are so many things this games just gets right. Granted, others might disagree but to me, it was the perfect mix of main missions, side missions, RPG elements, perfect map size, dramatic dialogue without overdoing it, etc.

I actually wasn’t planning on buying this game, I was saving money for the new Fallout game (that was before that whole mess) and then more or less bought it on a whim because a) it looked amazing, b) I’d had a rough week and I wanted to shoot virtual things and c) my favourite online news website trashed it and whenever they trash an open world RPG I just know I’m gonna love it cause they have the absolute worst taste in games^^

I bought rdr1 a couple of years ago but never got around to actually playing it. I still know almost nothing about it apart from who the main character is and where it’s set. I’d like to keep it that way so I can enjoy that at some point as well :)

If you haven’t finished yet, I really recommend getting a good horse early on and sticking with it. The final scene with your horse will be even more emotional if you’ve had it for most of the game :))))))))))))))))))))

I suspected this game would wreck me and it did :)))))))) I think the only game that affected me more was ME3. But yeah, I cry easily when I watch stuff and I was gone from the moment Arthur put on his head in Chapter six to the end (which is quite a while and it involves fight scenes and everything! Try shooting people when you’re busy crying!) and then again through the credits after the epilogues.

This game is HUGE! Not because the map is big or because the plot takes so long, it’s just so full and alive. Very hard to describe but it’s just so big!

Stuff I liked:

THE HORSES! Absolutely amazing! That (and landscapes) are probably what people talked the most about when it was released and it’s understandable. The animations and the handling is just unbelievable. I can’t even imagine how much work went into this and that’s probably not even the most impressive thing about the game!

The landscape is stunning but honestly, HZD was just as stunning, had the same kind of diversity regarding climate zones and yet RDR2 does something I haven’t seen to that extent in any other game so far: It makes the land around you feel alive! That’s down to tiny things like being able to see the individual rain droplets in the fog when you hold up a lantern, the way a bush moves around you when you walk through it (the first time I saw that I literally gasped!), rockslides and avalanches, wheel tracks in the mud, localised dirt on Arthur or the horse when you fall down. And then, of course, there are the bigger, scripted additions like railroads being built, houses burning down or being erected as the game progresses, trees being taken down or burning after a thunderstorm, animals around you interacting with other animals, animal carcasses decaying if you leave them, predators hunting prey (like have you seen this stuff? It’s insane!). Then you have NPCs that remember you and make references to your last meeting, NPCs are repulsed when you still have some blood on you, people you beat up sporting a bandage the next time you see them, having to remember to cut your hair and beard and take a bath, someone you captures freaking out when you place them too close to water because they might drown, a farmer fixing their fence after you accidentally rode through it a couple of days ago, Arthur quietly singing when you ride for too long without doing anything, your fellow outlaws having interactions that don’t involve you at all! There is so much detail in this game and it’s not like other games haven’t done a similar thing but not to this extent. It generates an immersion that I think is currently unparalleled. Absolutely incredible and you can tell that (despite the frankly unacceptable working conditions that were reported) people put their heart and soul into it.

I loved the fact that there weren’t too many side quests as there often are in RPGs (and most of the times they are somewhat repetitive). I felt there were just the right amount of additional quest markers on my map at any given time and apart from like “Hey mister race me!” quests every single one of them was unique! And most of the time you met well-developed NPCs you could later meet again! (Mickey and Hamish and the widow whose name I can’t remember right now stand out here <3)

The lighting in this game is out of this world! I think there was only one scene in which it didn’t quite work but apart from that every in-game scene might as well have been a cutscene for its beauty

It’s utterly heartbreaking and since I apparently love being sad this is perfect for me ;)

I loved the fact that they took accidental dialogue interruptions into account with the whole “right, where were we” thing

The motion capture and voice acting is brilliant! And as far as I can tell many of the actors haven’t even really done anything big but everyone was so stellar and Arthur’s actor really delivered!

Love my outlaw gang so much :’) especially the relationships between Arthur and John, Dutch, Sadie, Hosea, and Charles

and I LOVE Arthur! What an incredible main character and what a fantastic character journey! [1]

(connected to the point above) probably my absolute favourite thing about the entire game: The game objective changes drastically 3/4 of the way through and suddenly things that used to be a disadvantage are the opposite and the other way around. It’s brilliant! [2]

The music is so stunning! Both the background ambient music during free play but most importantly the songs they recorded and worked in so seamlessly. I still get goosebumps thinking about “Might I (Stand unbroken)”

Stuff I didn’t like:

I don’t think I’ve had any bugs (which is really surprising for a game of this size) except two instances of the dialogue disappearing for like a minute or so. It didn’t bother me that much, just turned on the subtitles for a bit and it was fine but yep, I did find some bugs

I feel like a horse that is able to bolt if it sees a snake or a predator should be able to not hit a solitary tree that I obviously did not want to ride into ;) like I get the collisions in dense forest areas but in open planes I feel like the horse should be smart enough to take a step to the side without me prompting it ;) 

it’s really easy to accidentally murder someone :( and I feel like the bounty system needs an update. If I accidentally walk into someone who gets offended and then starts shooting at me even though I’m apologizing then I shouldn’t get a bounty for knocking him out so he won’t kill me :/

I really did not like the “supernatural” stuff... I know they were just easter eggs and not relevant in any way but they just threw me off completely

There was one character I think I was supposed to connect to and I just didn’t which was a bit of a shame [3]

I wish there was a mission to the west (think Arizona, Utah landscape) I would have loved to ride through there with Arthur

I’m sure I missed quite a bit and I haven’t done everything in the game by far (only like 80% completion). I didn’t hunt much apart from the first two chapters, I didn’t craft much, I didn’t explore as much as I wanted to and I waited until like Chapter five before spending money. So there’s lots of stuff I still want to do and even more, I want to do again and really take my time now that I don’t have to be worried about accidentally reading a spoiler^^

So yep, second playthrough (albeit a much slower one) is about to start :)

SPOILERS WILL START BELOW! STOP READING HERE IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED!

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SPOILERS APPROACHING!

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THERE BE SPOILERS BELOW!

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[1] Arthur’s Character:

Arthur Morgan is definitely one of my all-time fictional characters now. It was an amazing journey from someone who clearly has a moral code but doesn’t (want to) use it for various reasons to someone who (probably for the first time in his life) takes charge of it and stands up to the people who want to make into something he’s just not. I’m an absolute sucker for character growth and rough characters becoming protective and selfless and trying to make the world a better place before they go. For me, that’s what separates a good movie/tv show/game from an excellent one and RDR2 delivered!

And then there’s the’s the huge TB bombshell in chapter 5 which changes everything and accelerates what’s been coming for a while. I’m such a big fan of this, honestly. Normally you get that kind of stuff at the beginning (e.g. Breaking Bad, Deadpool, etc.) to motivate some kind of change but in RDR2 you get all this time see Arthur not be who he clearly should be but getting closer and closer and then the dam just breaks. I mean I hate it with all my heart because up until then I thought he might get out alive but damn what a wonderful character arc!

[2] Game Objective:

So this is the big one, very subtle I think but again something I don’t think I’ve ever seen a video game do and I’m just stunned!

I started writing a list for this post when I was in Chapter 2 and I had “Honour system” on my “stuff I don’t like list”. The reason for that was, I thought it was pointless and not well thought through. Sure it’s a nice idea (and not a new one) to give the player the option of being a very nice or a very bad guy and then depending on that some interactions might change. That’s the whole nature of RPGs. But the thing is, it should be equally easy to play as totally good or totally bad. And it wasn’t! For most of the game, you were at a severe disadvantage if you were trying to get high honour. You can’t rob people to get some money, you can’t rob carriages or trains to train for the larger missions and gain experience, you can’t refuse to collect a debt instead you have to beat people! Sure, now and then you can help someone and they give you some money or some supplies but that doesn't compare to what you’d get by looting corpses. And even if you somehow do something really good and your honour improves, you will still have to take part in Dutch’s raid so you fall back down to some area in the middle. I thought that was frustrating and I thought I was missing out on a big part of the game experience because my objective to be nice got in the way.

But then Arthur got sick and from that moment the rewards for being nice were insane! And I realized that the game objective was directly tied to Arthur’s internal struggle. He wanted to be a good man but life made it seemingly impossible so he kept stealing, he kept killing, he kept turning back to bad habits. But once he broke free of that, once he started to see the good in the world it was suddenly so easy to get high honour because for once the game (aka Dutch’s influence on Arthur) didn’t force you into dishonourable situations anymore. It’s so neat! Turning something that used to be a disadvantage (wanting to be good) into an advantage more than halfway through the game. I’m honestly so impressed by the total gear change that achieved!

[3] Mary:

Here’s the thing: I really want to like her and it’s not even that I dislike her, I’m just really indifferent. It’s obvious Arthur loves her a lot and it’s obvious she loves Arthur quite a bit as well but all I saw in the game are two people who might like each other but who are clearly not compatible. And I was wondering if the game wants me to root for them, to hope that they’ll make it and basically have the life John and Abigail have at the end of the epilogue but I kept thinking: “That will never work”. I think it’s mainly because we see so little of her and like 40% of what she says is “Oh, Arthur” (which gets old real quick the same way “I have a plan, Arthur!” gets old after 20 times). I feel like if she’d been around for more missions I might feel very differently. Or some flashbacks might have been nice. But with about 60+ hours of gameplay and about 30 minutes of Mary I just couldn’t connect. It seemed like a relationship that was way past it’s prime just like their outlaw lifestyle and just like the outlaw lifestyle Arthur just didn’t want to believe it. 

That being said, I don’t think Mary shouldn’t be in the game! I think she has a purpose and I did her first mission very early one, so that was the first time that I saw Arthur display complex emotions which was great! But as the story went on I just cared so much more about the other outlaws and I honestly think Arthur would have been happier being Jack’s weird uncle who drops in from time to time than Mary’s proper, upstanding husband. So in the end, some outlaws standing next to Arthur’s grave would have made more sense to me than Mary :/

[riverlakepondstream-blog]

I Spent a Week Writing Random Shit, and Now, I’m Presenting it as a Blog Post

-A Compilation of Useless Thoughts-

One day, it’ll get better. Today is not that day. Today is… Friday..? Yeah, it’s Friday. Yay. I get two days to not do what I need to do.

I want to live in Boston or New York City. I kinda like North Carolina? I used to want to live in Ohio, but I realized that I couldn’t handle the snow. I know it snows in Boston and NYC, but I can get more done there. Or not.

I hate myself a lot and I feel like that’s just normal now, so I never talk about it. Does this count as talking about it? Whatever, fuck it. I hate myself <3

I think I’m going to be fine, but I have to get something done before that’s even remotely possible.

Took a personality quiz. It said I was a “Campaigner.” Does that mean I should go into politics? I could be president. No I couldn’t. I don’t want to be.

Amy Nelson has nice taste in music. I want to be her friend.

I’ve realized that I’m never going to settle down. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad.

I’ve recently discovered that I’m not good at anything. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Like, I genuinely can’t do anything that’s of value to anyone. I’m kind, and I can make people smile and laugh. I could do so many things with that, but I don’t have any platform to use that on.

I’ve been trying to do the whole YouTube thing, but I don’t have anything to edit with. I’m so uninspired, it physically hurts.

I feel like white people don’t even realize when they’re being racist sometimes.

Run me over w a bus please and thank you.

I can get up to $1,000,000 if I do a porno on my eighteenth birthday. I mean, I’m no good for anything else, so why the fuck not? I follow a lot of pornstars on Instagram, and they seem pretty happy.

I want to write a short film, but I can’t because I’m stupid. Fucking fuck my stupid ADHD ass brain. People always say shit like “Adam Levigne has ADHD, but he’s rich and famous, so you can’t say it makes you useless,” but like. He’s an artist. He can do things. I’m an idiot. I can’t do anything. I feel like my brain is decaying from all the negativity. Is that possible? Can your brain just get tired of your shit and start shutting down? Sounds like something my brain would do. I wouldn’t blame it.

I don’t like humans because we cheat natural selection. I should never have made it this far, if natural selection had its way with me. But no, I’m not allowed to just give up and let the world do its thing because I have to contribute to society.

What would I even contribute? I have nothing useful to say. Fuck, I’m so negative. I tend to drown in my self-loathing/self-pity when I’m left to my own devices, and I’m about ready to rip my brain out and get a new one. Fuck, can I do that? Can I get a brain transplant?

Positivity is exhausting. Things are gonna get better. Things are gonna get better. Things are gonna get better. Things aren’t gonna get better until I make them better. I can’t make them better until I stop being so fucking sad about nothing.

I love acoustic songs with weird ambiguous lyrics that make you want to get drunk off whiskey in the woods and dance around a fire. Is that weird? I haven’t been in the woods in forever, I feel like they’re calling to me.

I’m going to give up everything and go live in the woods and do black magic and play acoustic guitar and dance around a fire naked all night.

Sometimes I think about the fact that I’ll never see everything on Earth, and it makes me really mad. Do you capitalize “Earth?” I’ve seen it both ways…

Got a job. Yeet.

Memes are good. Memes connect people. I’ve made so many friends through memes. Fuck adults who say memes are pointless. Does everyone think adults are fucking idiots when they’re 17? Or am I just a pretentious asshole who thinks she knows better than everyone else?

I like heavy metal a lot. It makes me feel like I can be whatever I want and just say “Fuck the world!”

I prefer songs without words because they make you connect to the music, instead of just hearing it.

Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art? I’m 99% positive that life and art are the same thing. Like, the only thing humans have that animals don’t is art. Art is fucking lit.

Fuck the ocean.

Marimbas are cool. I want to learn to play one.

I’m starting to be able to think about people who used to be my friends and the good times we had, and not helplessly wish they were still my friends. I think that’s a major improvement.

I love my best friend, but I can’t help feeling like he secretly hates me, and I think I’m starting to push him away out of fear. Fuck anxiety.

I want to publish all my ideas for short films and sketches and shit, but I really just want to complete them all. I wish I had friends who were into filmmaking and that shit because I can’t do shit on my own, especially because I don’t have resources. Maybe I should find one of those “Online community” things.

I never feel welcome anywhere and I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t found a place I’m welcome, or if I’m just letting my brain fuck me over again. Probably both.

I can’t be on a balcony or rooftop without considering jumping off.

I’m not happy but I really want to make other people happy.

I hate kind people because I feel like they shouldn’t waste time on me, but I crave their attention.

I need to be held sometimes. Just scooped up and held by someone who wants me to be happy.

Every line on this page started with “I” and I’m not sure how I feel about that.

Fear is the strongest emotion. Love is not an emotion; love is a promise.

Money could solve all my problems.

Never let your words be empty and meaningless. Every word you say can and will reach someone else, and it’s your responsibility to make sure they hear what you’re feeling when you speak. Every time you talk to someone could be the last time.

Fitting in sounds so awful to me. I need to stand out and I need attention 24/7. I don’t know how to make that into something positive.

I feel like I can’t rest until I’ve gotten something done, but I just don’t know what the fuck to do.

Being half white is weird because everyone is like “You’re basically white, though,” but like no, my dude, I’m half white.

I miss my family. Whatever I do in life, I want to make sure that I make enough money to bring them all together, because we shouldn’t be this far apart.