#i need to yknow what. its literally not that bad
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So I don't know if it was ever revealed how Duncan felt when we killed Malistaire all three times but I'm wondering if maybe some part of him could hate us for that too. Like you hear that and you go "but why. Malistaire was terrible and even Duncan knew that(?). Why would he hate you for getting rid of him."
But like I think it's so....... interesting in a very, very, very sad way how Duncan so easily latches onto anyone who directly feeds into his delusions of grandeur. And that's no fault of his own that he was manipulated by the nasty Schism but when you think about how desperately clung to the idea that Malistaire, easily one of the greatest necromancers any of us had ever heard of (at that time), somehow actually recognized Duncan's talents (even when canon supports that Duncan wasn't all that talented, at least no more than the next necromancer) and then praised him for it so often that Duncan believed that he would be the next Death Professor is. I mean ☹️
So like with that mindset I unfortunately feel like it would be quite easy to twist even Malistaire's death as something that's horrible and awful and all our fault. ESPECIALLY if the Schism was feeding into Duncan's already broken mind and shattered ego and was constantly telling him that everything bad that ever happened to him ever in his life was Our Fault. That's like a realistic conclusion that someone like Duncan could come to
And like, at this point in time, are Malistaire's crimes even a factor in how he thinks????? Was Duncan ever able to separate Malistaire's talent and skills and prowess from the terrible and awful things he did? If Duncan wasn't able to consciously tell that distinction in the first place I can't imagine it would be any better during the years he was being manipulated and isolated and lied to
Like in Duncan's mind it probably isn't, "maybe I shouldn't idolize a national criminal, or idolize anyone at all for that matter, and aspire to be like someone so harmful when I can recognize my own talent and build from there" it's probably more like, "you (the wizard) permanently got rid of a brilliant mind, an innocent person who just made a few mistakes, and someone who believed in me no matter what just so that you could be the better than me and loved by everyone else" and that's! very sad actually!
#this is all speculation btw idk if any of this is canon. how duncan feels about all this#i know i keep saying the exact same shit over and over but.... really not a fan of how the game handled duncan! sorry!#i know wizard101 isnt supposed to be about every single character gets a satisfying ending to their arc-#-meaning not everyone in the story will face consequences and/or find a happy ending and like thats fine they dont need to#but idkkkk its just imo really sad how essentially a kid suffers frrom something he cant control by himself (his ego)-#and then instead of getting help he is instead ignored (ambrose) and then manipulated and brought up by a cult#and then when it becomes super apparent how... TERRIBLE his life really is and we defeat him he just... goes back??????#we.... we LET him go back???? i mean we're not responsible for other people's bad decisions or mental health but bro....#and then when we tell ambrose he's just like “oh. too bad. well anyways-” AND IM LIKE WELL THATS THE REASON!!!!! NO WONDER HE'S FUCKED UP#NONE OF THIS IS ADDRESSED. NONE OF IT. WE KICK DUNCAN'S ASS AND THEN HE.... GOES BACK TO THE CABAL#i literally just got so desolate when (wallaru spoilers) because. okay. all that for nothing i guess#this isnt me being mad btw LMAO i know the tone probably reads as angry but im not im just disappointed#and tired. what is it with wizard101 in particular and just people suffering with no end. (me as i make my main suffer with no end)#but anyways yeah duncan has been in my head for a while. he's one of the guys that i love a lot BDKSNSKAJ#he's like a son to me and HE NEEDS A HEALTHY PARENT. HE NEEDS IT#not excusing his actions btw. he still committed crimes JRKDJSIEJ#i just have a soft spot for those villains in media who are doomed from the start yknow. (stares tearfully at morganthe and gf spider)#wizard101#wiz101#w101#text posts#duncan grimwater#im not normal about duncan at all he's probably the wozard oc i feel for the most other than malorn and us
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#"despite everything that happened dee- and yknow the events falling upon you thats happened- i still consider you Bondi regardless if youre#“technically in the club or not so- i just hope wherever you go you remember that”#whata fuckinh emding i guess it could’ve been worse and i enjoyed the highs and downbad lows#icant with these emo shits and drama queens today i cried and laughed sm (cried more)#its always when i have things to do irl after and my eyes are like @@#time for a hot shower and sleep for 2 days now#war is over#< bro think he did something#wow what a journey#rip dukes n jess's gifti TT^TT shes with og vb tulip and paragone now the girls are home#I’m glad he went with the tutorial dee mentore ending leaving until someone needs him with some hints and not very closed ending >> sideeye#barrys such an emo himbo goldfosh lmao the literal ending it with a bang was hot and tragicsweet#hs last memory connection with dee Clueless#🖼️🃏#i loved every last convo that was had with people- the bad and good and the painful and healing#i wish there was one with tj tho ): he called him when he thought it was his last moments in prison god i love that phonecall#wait right ill take their little chat at the gas station ⍢ it was so sweet#chip fey and ed and collin & bbs convos#and he’s been and always will be bondoi gladge#him pulling lots of new pple on their feet for years then either they exceed to great things and move on and away from him#or the city eats them and he never see them again and in all cases he ends up alone again#^i daydreamed about him saying something like that to b im glad he did#the way b speaks to him and how the club spoke to him is fascinating i want to talk about it and analys it#god not me analysing literature years after collage#and i know she was scuffed lmao but coppa looked like she said goodbye to dee too before she got into the car and idc ill take that#the two that i'll miss sm more than anything with barrys story and 4.0 dee and coppa#i think the john thing's so funny especially the “gaslighting himself that dees name was johnathon the intire time” in mc lmao but#🤲🕯️🩸 reunion in aus 🙏 🩸 rekindling 🕯️🩸 max prison or petty crimes 📿🛐 that part revival 🤲🩸🛐 its right there hes righthere 🌀😵💫#dare i say the same dee with the same memories continues 4.0 with a new page and even closer with everyone 🚛 🏭 the copium overload#I also cant wait for more suffer and joy in 4.0 yippeee
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that postal movie is so inconsistently ok
#i watched the last like. ten minutes of it cos i know most of the boobie is done by then its just like. blood n guns whatever#and like. i almost kinda get the vague impression of what they're trying to satirize#yknow?#and i still think the dude's monologue of just 'CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG' immediately being shot down is. im not gonna sit here and#cal it poignant but i GET it i think its funny and i think maybe you could argue theres something there about how arbitrarily willing human#are to just kill each other instead of trying to work things out#hence the ending#and i think maybe the stuff with the US nuking themselves to clense out the 'terrorists' would work better if they werent already like#literal villians in the film i feel like the satire is lost when you start punching down like that i think the whole point the movie was#'trying to make' about how nine eleven was jsut a tragedy and not some grand justification for our overseas .massacring. doesn't work so#well when you've also got to throw in a bunch of 'terrorists' as your set of bad guys. you know?#also i dont care chris coppola is really entertaining as richie i HATE THAT GUY#also i lost my mind when the IRS actually called him 'david clark' i was like OH SO THAT IS HIS ACTUAL NAME GET UP#postal dude and faith could have been fun if faith had been in the movie for more than two fucking scenes before. but WHATEVER#WE DONT HAVE TIME TO DEVELOP OUR CHARACTERS RELATIONSHIP WE NEED TO HAVE CUTAWAY VIOLENCE/BIGOTRY JOKE NUMBER 334835345#consider the following
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Gonna steadily (re)post art in bulk fried in Glaze.
#myart#original character#character design#now my tantrum is finished i will post stuff lol#seriously though it was bad timing my mental health has been shit since my mum died in january and i was gonna do something this month sinc#its ovarian cancer awareness month and thats what she died from#was gonna open kofi to take donations for doodles to give to charity but the tumblr ai thing was just another huge turd#from the universe in the cereal bowl of my life#“um actually instead of you being productive how about fuck you :)” - the universe whenever i try to do literally anything#anyway these tags are making me seem very mentally stable so maybe i will stop hehehe#but seriously don't be concerned i just need to vent somewhere. i actually feel i turned a corner this week with the grief but. ugh.#a shit shower is still a shit shower even if you manage to find an umbrella yknow#on the bright side i subbed to sheezy art and i'm really impressed with it so far#well if you read this far thanks for reading. sorry for being depressing. take care of yourselves and each other!!#dang i needed this vent more than i realised lol#rant
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am finally back home and can say without a doubt that i am just fundamentally not built for long distance travel however the train was much nicer than planes
#that being said. pressurized cabins drive me insane a little bit#and also it gives you pretty intense sea legs for a While#like. the ones from the first trip hadnt gone away by the return one. so. might be stuck with that for a few days#we shall see#also ajr live fucks severely#the albums were already incredible but that was a goddamn religious experience#like. idk the way i think abt it is theyre more djs than a regular band esp w their performance showing the making of way less sad#like their music is very electronic‚ theyre making mixes of their own sound effects more than singing in one go#so like. the vocals were a teeensy bit rough at times#notably times it has taken me Literally Hundreds Of Hours Practice to be able to consistently sing along with#and times ive found its literally physically impossible to like. no matter what#idc how big your lungs are‚ there is no human on earth who can do that final run of karma in one breath#much less to An Entire Stadium After An Hour Of Jumping And Dancing And Singing Loud As Fuck#so like i dont blame them for that‚ you dont go to live shows expecting it to be 100% perfect anyways jwbdjsbfksb#the trumpet however. well she was certainly playing sometimes. and was very enthusiastic about her flares.#however. in most of their songs they use midi trumpets to my ear at least#meaning she was likely an addition specifically for live performances and in my personal band kid opinion#prooobably was not in any of the like. higher tier bands? idk just. a lot of the mistakes she was making were hitting as stuff that got#taught out of us the instant we joined any band beyond regular concert#so i would guess she was probably just like. a friend who happened to play trumpet in high school or maybe even just middle school#and they knew that the trumpet parts in their pieces were big and distinct enough that like they /had/ to get a live player#and just kinda. didnt anticipate the audition -> performance gap#like. her tone was really fried the whole time like she was playing as hard as possible#which. she was mic'd. have the sound guy turn her up.#the way they did it made it sound like she was using a mute but not. like she only got the bad parts of a mute from it yknow#her tempo and timing were. bad. theres no nice way to put that one it just Was Bad‚ like the trumpet runs in ajr songs arent. complicated#like. quite literally if you handed me the sheet music right now i would have it down perfect in a week at absolute most#and better than that player on sightread. like. we did so many sightreading drills.#like ill share my band kid creds if anyone cares but i need to emphasize this isnt me being braggy like. they genuinely just arent hard#fuck im out of tags. w/e i think only like one of yall also listens to them anyways so i can leave it there
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literally 1 review on etsy lowering my entire average from 5 stars to 4.9 and it like. shouldnt be there imo so im mad abt it
#97#like i cant do shit about it but.#someone left me a 1 star review bc their envelope got lost in the mail instead of contacting me#when i have a policy that i refund or replace lost orders#and then refused to have it refunded or replaced when i reached out??#so why are you giving me 1 star for someting out of my control that you dont even want me to fix#its soooo petty of me to fixate on but its. ONE review.#out ot 600+ which are nearly all 5 star 😭#and that singular 1 bad review changed my entire score. i had 5 stars up until getting it#(etsy has this 'star seller thing' where if you reply fast to messages send orders on time and get good reviews u get a badge)#(and like i have the badge dgmw but.)#(i have 100% fast replies 100% on-time shipping and im literally just 0.1 points from also having a perfect review score)#(and its this ONE SINGLE ONLY unwarranted bad review keeping me from it)#(what can i say im a completionist i wanna get perfect scores :( )#(++ idk how many more 5 star reviews im gonna need for it to balance my score back to perfect?)#(i think i may need to get several hundred perfect reviews to balance out one bad review)#i also get some 4 star reviews sometimes and im kinda sad that theres never a comment so idk what was wrong w it?#like if im perfectly satisfied w an order id leave 5 stars so i have to assume theres smthing missing but they never say#but yknow. 4 stars is still good
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You there early 2000s gg manga artist write a joke involving testament that does not make me want to attack you like an animal
#THEYRE NOT ALL BAD there are funny testament bits. but well. The Gender is kind of an easy target.#sometimes those are even a little funny. like KIND OF. in hindsight if nothing else.#overall they trouble me less than some jokes about them and dizzy. i dont want to get into that though.#in theory its not the WORST thing ever I GUESS its just. the way people go about it. yknow. unless you dont. im happy for you if you dont#many cases of they would not fucking say that but well it doesnt only happen to them its okay. well its not but you know what i mean#WHATEVER even 1 million jokes abt testament being a creep (usually more like just being Perceived as a creep I GUESS THATS BETTER?)#could never overpower dizzy saying testament is like an older (sibling) to her in a ggx anthology chapter.#literally shout out memaiso. my hero.#they also did some 4koma stuff involving them being very parentlike to her. i can think of 3 off the top of my head. thats good for me.#okay thanks i just needed to complain.#the kat goes meow#gg
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lyla... .. i love y ou.... .
#spider-man 2099#spider-man: dark genesis#sm2099#comic panels#yknow. key words. key phrases.#i do like how miguels drawn here. at least the arts p good im already so weary though#every day i read new spider-man 2099 comics#and for what? just to suffer??#idk i think. im literally not even done w the issue yet lmao#but a card system based on income and a brand new shiny 2099 avengers take and all this stuff that came around in exodus is just like.#its not so much Bad plotwise as much as it. just doesnt feel like 2099#lmao#i. augh spider-man-2o99 articulates it so much better than i am rn but like. theyre right we really dont need more 2099 reboots#like expanding on the universe? cool! what exodus and dark genesis are doin?....... um! well!#also i miss gabriel where the fuck is he. is he in here. im on page 11 if i dont see gabriel by the end i set the building on fire#im joking. but im not#plus exodus was just. i dont remember exodus past issue 1 actually#art was pretty but isnt that the one where miguel got to play side character in his own comic.#for like 2+ separate issues#i Know its the one that brought norman osborn back bc i will never know peace#i mean issue 1 was p good iirc. it. maybe i should just read exodus again#i remember seeing zero and being soooo happy because hehe my pal :) and the panel where miguel flies straight into a wall. scrunchie#i feel like every time i read a sm2099 run thats not the original i have to walk in with a hazmat suit and everything looking for parts#WAIT EXODUS. HEY WASNT EXODUS THE ANNIVERSARY ONE?? THAT MIGUEL GOT SIDELINED IN??? HIS ANNIVERSARY SERIES?????????#know im going to be upset about jax j jameson being a thing until i die#also the whole avengers 2099 thing is just. not good#i went on a whole rant in here bc im special but tumblr hates me xoxoxo#dm me if you wanna hear the why the avengers happening in 2099 is bad for the ecosystem and me personally sad face rant im gonna color#NO IM GONNA FINISHT EH COMIC. FUCK
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Im thinking about how some people (ive seen) have this mild hint of Snobbiness when it comes to whether or not you save each song individually like The Old Days (I used to do that) . You download the song + edit the artist name + add a song image… but have you considered that. If you have any form of disability with your hands that its time conuming epecially if you’re just starting and have 500+ songs of backlog? Also even if youre able bodied its just so time consuming and i cant squeeze in the time to download and sort 500+ music if i have more important things to do
#so I DONT have disability in my hands but my partner does my baby girl alright#and like idk im just thinking#like IDC what anyone does yknow? i dont give a shit#but if you start acting snobby i will literally start coming for your throat#i think we need to kill ceos and destroy captialism instead of judge whos better at storing music#its not FAIR that spotify doesnt pay their artists properly#but i get a bad taste in my mouth when i see people being RUDE to others who use streaming#does that make sense? is this a bad take?#like for example even if i could do this personally its so time consuming and we dont have TIME to move 500+ songs around anymore#maybe if we started it sure but like#as in started doing this a lkong time ago but its not a LONG TIME AGO anymore#idk. maybe this is a bad take#talking#am i making sense?? im just pissed off because i know that if someone told this to my girlfriend ‘hey you should delete spotify and#download all your songs and change the artist icons etc’#ill start grabbing a shovel because i know she wont have the time or spoons to do that#anyway…
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i will say that the way poor things handles disability and disfigurement left a bad taste in my mouth
#i saw demi adejuyigbe write abt how it resonated with him through an autistic reading which i do think is cool#but idk something abt how and when we are supposed to empathise with intellectually disabled ppl#i get it i get that its allegorical and what not but idk something abt the only happy ending for disabled ppl#being a miraculous cure or death yknow#i understand it was a child brain and im being literal but idk#just the times that her mannerisms and behaviour earlier in the movie is played for laugh and how her happy ending is being smart#and needing no carers or helpers#so haha fuck you to remy youssef for calling her an ableist slur at the beginning#now shes his boss!!#its just very white and palatable#they would not make a movie like this with a less conventionally attractive lead bc ppl would just be grossed out#bc you can't act the way emma stone acts at the beginning of the film and not be bangable#the story is written around a conventionally attractive woman it wouldn't work if the person casted was less desirable#but tbh that is my problem. not just with this movie just like all of the big 'feminist' adjacent movies & tv shows of late#*played for laughs. look i make typos constantly i am bad at smartphones despite being a part of the smartphone gen
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my flatmate asking me the day before "do u want to hang out w me and [old friend] everyone else cancelled so I can invite u now" is not the heartfelt offer she thinks it is :^/
#what am i sloppy seconds. fuck off man#i like them both but im not in the place to socialise rn + also it just feels kinda mean. theyve had these plans for weeks#and i wasnt invited bc some of their other friends (who ive never met) didnt want me there which is fair enough ig#even tho their friends complained abt someone else bringing her bf but they both blocked the veto for that. pretty sure ik them-#better than some guy but whatever. i dont rly like their friends anyway bc they only ever have bad things to say abt them#like damn they sound like they have the emotional range of toddlers plus theyre all into shit like genshin. so i wasnt fazed abt it#hope they have a nice time etc but wow sure now theyve cancelled the day before u can invite me as a replacement. yeah thatll do wonders#for the social and self esteem issues i have around being single use and disposable and always on the outside etc yippee#the thing is if i go theyll just talk to each other anyway and leave me to be the fly on the wall like they always do. they dont want#me there they just want an audience i literally have nothing else to contribute i dont think they even like me that much so!#anyway complaint over. genuinely i hope they have a nice time im just annoyed at being treated like that + probably projecting a bit too#its not like i could go if i wanted to anyway bc i have shit to sort out + mail to wait for. maybe next time invite me from the start huh#we had another old friend visit last weekend but those plans were really made without me too and i was just added bc i Live Here so its#kind of unavoidable. but oh well whatever it was nice to see them either way#im too depressed rn to fix my social life or even rely on existing coping strategies in social situations so im having to temporarily#cut it back bc i get too trigger sensitive + dont want to hurt myself or others bc of an arbitrary emotional overreaction#its usually one of the first things to go when im Going Thru It not in a self isolating way but more bc its one of the hardest things#for me to maintain + im pretty self sufficient so its not absolutely crucial. like of course i love my friends but socialising is a#want not a need yknow. eating/sleeping/exercising/hygiene are all more fundamental parts of the engine so i gotta prioritise them#and it sucks but ill survive. anyway sorry for venting on everyones dash so early in the morning i woke up grumpy 👎#i need to get breakfast and then go out. ughhhhhhh okay.#.vent
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Once again my Tummy Hurts (TM) and I'm not being brave about it, except this time I'm convinced it's prolonged food poisoning or a parasite or Crohn's or ulceritis or IBS or SOMETHING REALLY BAD
#franposting#yes i am a hypochondriac but also yes food is agony and i feel SO BAD all the TIME ALL WEEK#i thought it was getting better. i even felt good enough to go work out on Wednesday and i didnt hurl#yesterday was mostly just acid reflux type pain so i was likr. ok#BUT TODAY??M THE AGONIES???#had i known my stomach was gonna be like this id havr stayed home#i have the brain itch i have to go to the gym but also#i literally cannot make it the entire hour i need for the gym#i am just. IN SO MUCH DISCOMFORT AND ILLNESS#also I have a guilty compulsion disorder and my brain is like#oh no if its contagious you Cant go to the gym#even tho its probably like. stomach acid reflux chronic stuff bc my stomach is a bitch#but what if its NOT#medical anxiety cw#everyday something new goes wrong#and im never sure if im making it up??? or its actually serious???#and it seems like everytime i ignore it its serious#and everytime i pursue it its nothing#and so everyone thinks im the boy who cried wolf#and im just!!! maybe i AM crazy but i cant be fabricating ALL of these symptoms yknow#i do not mentally control my DIGESTIVE SYSTEM
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ok the kalos slander in journeys is getting out of hand
#< me now that its a character i actually like#well ok not true. im happy for what they did w serena bc its what i wanted for her- to be able to stand perfectly on her own#but like. a sweep against diantha and most of it was offscreen??? cmon#i knowww logically shes gotta lose and i went in fully knowing she would bc its gotta come down to leon v ash#it just makes the most sense but like. the battle couldve at least been GOOD yknow#yeah no this screams development hell. its gotta be like its just too bad#thinking eve has a point when she says that it feels like jn is exhausted of itself like i didnt need a two parter here#but like... they didnt even wanna dedicate the episode to it???#also i dont buy leon being this super powerful unbeatable beast tbh#i could in galar bc thats just one region and the gym systems different and designed to like weed people out over time#and u gotta get sponsored and shit like i can believe he went undefeated for literal years there bc galar is weird#but in the entire world?? to the point where he sweeps other champions with ease?? and everyone around the world drools over him?#i get WHY they did that bc its a world tour and hes the strongest trainer in the world and its gen 8 so he needs emphasis#but i dont buy that hes somehow so unstoppable that another champion can barely touch him#and i EXTRA dont buy that ash is so powerful w his current team that hes gonna be the one to knock him down#like idk. idk what metric im working with here but i feel like the champions should be like neck and neck and hard to defeat#no matter who u are and especially w champions bc theyre on the same level#leon being number 1 isnt bad or bad writing but everyone throwing themselves head over heels for him no matter what region theyre in#and him being able to sweep literally everyone in his path is not good writing tbh its not believable to me#it doesnt feel like hes so strong no one can handle him it just kinda feels like plot armor#echoed voice
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oh psa but if you're in an industry that checks IDs and the person in front of you is clearly trans, don't make comments about anything on that ID. for instance saying "OMG your middle name's Danielle? that's my name too!!!" to someone 5 feet tall with a full beard is perhaps not the best choice one could make if one didn't want to put a neon glowing sign above that person's head saying "THIS IS A TRANSGENDER" to everyone they're with
#it is p funny tho going out places with cis / nb-and-always-presented-as-agab friends and always getting singles out abt my#id in Some Way and them always being like ??? wtf that was so weird what was up with that#and i have to be the one to be like 'remember that my id has an f on it' and theyre like :0 ....... >:0!!!!#like fuckin. the time i got id'd at goddamn jack in the box????#she was like 'yeah we have to check it on all orders over $25' which had never happened before and has never happened since because#its fucking jack in the box so every stupid order is over $25#for important context i was driving and bf in passenger seat was paying so id handed her his card and was way less passing than now#so once we left travis was like yo wtf that was so weird why on earth would they id someone at jack in the box?????#and im like well because i look like this and i handed her a credit card with the name travis on it and people making#up reasons to check trans-looking peoples ids to verify if theyre trans or not is unfortunately not an uncommon occurance#and he was completely floored that that was even a possibility#which like mood when i was doing bev steward literally the only thing i was thinking about on those ids was birthdays#course i was working at a theme park so we had ids from all over the country#and world but nonamericans had passports which are much more consistent than state ids#so id get handed someones id and just be like ugh ok where do they hide it on this one i have 50 people in line i dont have time for this#like why would i be wasting time casually perusing their gender marker yknow i have shit to do#so the fact that there are people who will feel the need to know that so bad that theyll do that is just wild to me and presumably him too#(working there was how we met and he ended up being bars lead then full water park sup after i left the job)#but yeah after he had his 'wait people actually do that?' realization he was just like '....well then good thing it was my card so we had to#give her my id so she'll never get to know for sure‚ get fucked' LMAO#ooh or when me and a friend went to trader joes and bought drinks cause i collect cool drink cans and when the cashier was checking#my id i made a joke to ny friend abt my picture looking like bobby hill and the cashier was like 'GASP dont say that about yourself youre#beautiful!!' which i believe i did have the beard by this point so it was a pretty obvious dig#and the picture super does look like bobby hill by the way like ill show yall if anyone's curious but literally no one irl has disagreed#except this one random woman lmao. but we get out and my friends like ????????? that was so weird#why did she say that????? and im like. well it has an f on it remember#and once again the :0 -> >:0 transformation#like it sucks having it happen but there is smth really funny abt watching friends so inclusive something like that never even#occured to them realize that thats a thing people will do and it just happened right in front of them#shoutout to my roommates friend tho who has worked at a sex shop and weed shop and changed my rewards account name for both to chosen name
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