#i need you all to know how relieved i was when i heard the uncensored version holy shit

[hwat]

Please join me on a journey I like to call: for the love of GOD please stop censoring the word kill

Imagine, for a moment, you’re unhip and listening to the top 40 station in the car for the first time in a while. An unfamiliar song I now know to be called Kill Bill by SZA comes on. The vocals start. 

🎶 “ooo i just ______ my ex, not the best idea—” 

Naturally, upon hearing something obviously censored, I go through my list of Naughty Words to fill in the blank: Pussy? Bitch? Ass? 💡Fuck✓ 

Okay we have our word, we can continue.

🎶 “__(autofill: fucked)__ his girlfriend next how’d I get here...”

At this point, I’m thinking—alright. Kind of a plot twist but if she’s into who am I to judge. 

But then THIS line hits me like a fucking truck

🎶 "...rather be in jail that alone”

visual aid:

So I change the channel and move on with my life. Good to know t swift is still making mediocre pop hits and meghan trainor’s voice still sends me into a visceral rage etc etc

and then the SONG comes on again on a different station and i’m like GREAT here we go again. 

but the first line hits and this time its NOT censored

visual aid:

[immoralraigan]

SEND 🗝 TO FORCE MY MUSE TO TALK ABOUT A TOPIC THEY NEVER WANT TO SPEAK OF

@chironitas​ asked:

🗝 [ i cannot waste this angst opportunity :eyes: ]

Farus does find Vanitas’ brash willingness to divulge all his worst afflictions unto him admirable-- seeing at least through close observation that he is not the type to reveal the full, uncensored truth to just anyone. If he wishes for a passive void to scream into, he may have it. Farus would remain here as a passive, unremarkable presence until the end, whenever that is.

But something dogs him, constantly keeping him on edge every single day since he’d made that promise. One might note that he’s taken to looking up every time he is near a window or steps outside. He closely surveys the sky every day and night with a paranoid, distracted gaze that perhaps Vanitas might be familiar with himself. He makes no move to explain himself-- he is a void, after all, completely inconsequential in this, Vanitas’ Earth. Wouldn’t want to tarnish that.

It is only after a fausse alarme, as one would call it here, that his own worst afflictions begin to trickle to the surface; the moment of panic is only quelled when someone (whomever may be fluent in astronomy) identifies the new celestial body hanging out by the sun as none other than Venus, the second planet closest to their system’s star. Farus was so sure he had mapped out the entire solar system by now, but that one he must have missed during his preliminary exploration. “Yes, of course... just a planet,” he’d be heard muttering to himself in a hunched form unbecoming of one such as himself, “just another planet.”

It is only later, in a completely private setting, that Farus finally caves to the quiet curiosity in Vanitas’ eyes. His hands still yet shake, colorless eyes still turned toward the window. It had been shut by someone who had figured him out by now-- they don’t need a crazy alien staring out their window like that. But even so, he still watches the rays of light light peeking through the blinds, as if fearful they might suddenly be snuffed out. A careful sip is taken of hot brew, a deep breath, and his hands still ever-so-slightly.

“...Fine,” he says sharply, knowing full well what questions are being stifled. “...Fine. You ought to be aware, anyway-- in case I suddenly leave without warning.” There is the briefest glance, just a flit of the eyes to make sure Vanitas is still listening.

“I come from... a world inhabited by immortals. ‘Raigans’, they are called. They’re revered as gods to its neighboring worlds... as was I.” He is aware of how bizarre this sounds. Surely this must be a joke-- but it is not a joke at all. He continues, “I’m somewhat different, though. I’m an Acti-Raigan-- one of  two, constructed by the Raigans to act as a switch to...decide the fate of the world. I didn’t finish the job. And I don’t intend to.” 

He sits still, eyes cast upon the mug in hand. He can feel it cooling as he speaks-- a relieving reminder, for him, that time is still passing. “I refuse to save Raiga. If I do, I’ll be enabling it to go forth and fulfill its wish.”

It is at this point that he begins to look tired-- fatigue-ridden, now that it is coming to light that he’s been running for so long. Anxiety seeps into everything he does, his prickly nature, his constant want for coffee, the brisk walk-- everything. 

“Raiga’s wish... to grant all living things-- all things in every plain of existence-- absolute immortality. Similar to our own. Without the flow of time to stifle it. They call it a gift. Raiga treats it as the ultimate blessing. And if the Raigans find me, they’ll want to bring me back-- to save Raiga. 

“That’s why I’m likely to leave on short notice.”

[shnuggletea]

Sorry but I couldn’t get this posted on here yesterday. I only had my phone and it gave me the finger when I tried lol. The Tumblr app doesn’t like big posts like this one. 

The last day, Lust! I’m a little sad but also relieved. I really didn’t think I’d make it lol! For the edited version, take your pick between FF or AO3. For the uncensored version, head over to Patreon or keep reading.

Thank you again @clearwillow for the amazing art. Seriously you’re easily one of my favorite fan artist. And to @lemonlushff, @neutronstarchild, and @ruddcatha for hosting!

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Lust

“Each of us is born with a box of matches inside us but we can't strike them all by ourselves.”

-Laura Esquivel, Like Water for Chocolate

“What are you doing here?!!”

Naraku was lounging on my bed, smirking up at me when we returned. I was planning on sharing the bed with Inuyasha. It wasn’t like I had a second bed.

Inuyasha followed me in silently but when I turned to explain Naraku’s presence, he was gone. “Inuyasha?” A few steps back I found him, already settling on the couch. “I’m so sorry about this, I didn’t know he was going to be here…”

“Why wouldn’t he be? He’s your mate?”

A smile forced its way onto my face and I shook my head, “but he isn’t, is he? I’m not meant to be with him…”

“What’s the Mutt doing here?” Naraku had found us, raging with his tone at Inuyasha. But then he turned to me with his anger. “Why is he here?!”

“We’re correcting a mistake. You can go to Kagome’s now if you want….” Both men growled at that but I was only concerned with Inuyasha’s. “Don’t worry, I won’t let her do anything to you.”

“Kagome would never do anything to me anyway. Other than let me go.” Inuyasha said, his hurt clear.

Naraku laughed, “what did you do? Master wouldn’t have let you go so easily? You fucked up somehow didn’t you? Was it after you laid with her? Don’t deny it, I can smell her on you.”

Inuyasha was in Naraku’s face in a blink, moving at a speed my brain couldn’t comprehend and I backed up with my fear. They both ignored me and my whimper, too into one another at the moment to care that they were scaring me. “Say what you will about me, but watch what you say about Kagome.”

The sob I choked on got attention, both Naraku and Inuyasha looking at me with concern. But Naraku’s was somehow stronger than Inuyasha’s. “She still has a hold on you, doesn’t she?”

“Of course she does, she’s my Mate.” 

Inuyasha was looking at me confused, his black brow raised liked it was when I first mentioned this, us, to him. The kiss didn’t work after all. The only thing that would work had to be sex. It made sense, what with him sleeping with Kagome. No way I was going to get him to sleep with me with Naraku here. It would have to wait, Inuyasha would have to suffer another night until I could get rid of Naraku and then fuck the spell out of him. 

The thought brought a smile to my face, Inuyasha under me and thanking me for freeing him? Loving me? It was enough to put up with Naraku but only for a while longer. “How much longer are you going to stay here?”

Now Naraku looked confused, arching a brow just as Inuyasha had done. It made my heart skip for some reason. “Where else am I supposed to go?”

“I told you, you can go to Kagome’s…”

“Stop saying that. He doesn’t belong there!” Inuyasha raged.

“Oh, and you do?!” I countered.

Naraku grabbed my shoulder and held me hard. “Actually, he does.” He turned me to face him, glowering down at me. “What did you do?”

“She showed up and kissed me,” Inuyasha answered for me.

Naraku turned purple. “Why? To what end?” My eyes bounced from Naraku to Inuyasha and he laughed. “You really are an idiot!!”

My mouth flopped open and my phone rang. The fight I had towards Naraku twisted as I looked and found Kagome’s name on the screen. Racing, I got away from the two of them and sat on my bed, door closed, before I answered. “Yes?”

She breathed into the receiver heavily. Kagome was still crying. “Is he okay?”

“He is.”

“Kikyo… please don’t hurt him. He’s not like your other men…”

“I’m not going to hurt him, Kagome. He’s my Mate.”

She sucked in a breath so loud I could hear it over the phone. “Naraku’s your Mate.”

“No, he’s not. We got them mixed up, too caught up in them being there in the first place and took the wrong men. I was always supposed to be with Inuyasha and you Naraku.”

“It doesn’t… it doesn’t matter. I love Inuyasha…”

I huffed, “you sure have a funny way of showing it. Making him sleep with you with your control over him.”

“I didn’t do that. I made sure I didn’t say anything. Just like when he left I… I said nothing so I didn’t sway him with this… magic. But it was because I care about him and love him, Kikyo.”

My stomach was twisting and my heart was pounding. These were feelings I hated. I hated guilt. “Why are you telling me this? It doesn’t change what you did to my Mate.”

That’s right, I was the one slighted, not her. She was the one that took my Mate and used him. She changed him, made him hers without so much as asking me. The spell should have made me the one in control, then the men would be free to choose as they should. Inuyasha never would have been Kagome’s, he would have been with me like he was supposed to be. 

“I just… I wanted you to know that. That nothing I did was out of malice or cruelty. I love Inuyasha and… I love you. You’re my friend and I want both of you to be happy.”

I felt it fall but quickly swiped it away, the tear that rolled down my cheek. “Kagome….”

“That’s all. And… I’m sorry but I’m going to need some space for a while. I want you to be happy but seeing you two together will… It will break me. Okay?”

They wouldn’t stop, no matter how many times I brushed them away, the tears wouldn’t stop. “I’m… I’m sorry, Kagome.”

I don’t know if she heard me, the line was dead when I checked. I never intended to hurt Kagome, I just wanted to do what was right. She would feel better later, Inuyasha wasn’t her soulmate. She just needed to be with Naraku. He would make her feel better.

Taking a moment more, I collected myself and hurried back to Inuyasha. He would make me feel better. 

But I opened the door to find both him and Naraku on the other side of it. Inuyasha was caging the door while Naraku a short distance, leaning against the wall all closed off. Two men waiting for you is usually a turn on. However, neither were happy at all. Especially Inuyasha.

“What did you tell her?!” Inuyasha roared.

I glanced back at Naraku who did and said nothing while Inuyasha looked ready to tear me apart. I was on my own, as usual. So I took a deep breath and swallowed my fear. “I told her the truth. That you were only with her because she told you to be.”

Naraku laughed hollowly. “Dear God, you are an idiot.”

Inuyasha stood up straight but didn’t stop blocking my exit. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Naraku was still silent, leaving me to explain. He was the demon, the one brought here. Shouldn’t he know? Shouldn’t Inuyasha know exactly what I was talking about?! “Her control over you! Overall of you!! She says the word and you would all jump off a cliff!”

Inuyasha’s claws slapped into the doorframe, dangerously close to slapping into me, and growled. “Did you tell her that? Did you tell her she controlled us with her words?!”

“I… I didn’t…” I had to take another breath, Inuyasha scaring me senseless. Naraku finally stepped in, pulling Inuyasha back who only knocked off his hold harshly and paced away. “I didn’t tell her, she already knew what she was doing and still didn’t stop. I know you’re upset, that she took advantage of you but it’ll be alright! I’ll break her hold on you, I swear!”

 I couldn’t tell if Inuyasha was pissed about losing his virginity by suggestion or if he was just still under Kagome’s spell, forcing him to be angry at me. But Naraku was placing himself between me and him. “Please forgive my Mate. She knows not what she’s doing.”

“I do know!!”

Naraku pushed me back and shut me up, glaring at me as well. Inuyasha wasn’t looking at either of us save to throw a growl every now and then. “She didn’t say anything when I left…”

“So she didn’t influence you! Kagome is a good person, I swear. She knew about her control so she said nothing. I don’t know why she still slept with you….”

Inuyasha turned, gunning for me for a second but Naraku blocked him. It turned Inuyasha from his path towards me and my heart slowed a little bit but still raced with fear. Maybe I shouldn’t say anything else?

“You could go to her? It’s not too late.” Naraku offered as if it was obvious.

Inuyasha perked at that, stopping with his ears straight up. They had been pinned to his head since he left Kagome’s, making them easier to forget. A shiver of disgust ran up my spine at the sight of them. But it didn’t last long, Inuyasha saying nothing more as he split out the window. 

“Wait!!”

But he didn’t, ignoring me and jumping out the fifth-floor window. Naraku had me in his hold, keeping me from going out the door. I wanted to be free, to get out of his hold and chase after Inuyasha. When had Naraku ever given me what I wanted? Lifting me off my feet and slinging me over his shoulder. 

“What are you doing? Put me down!!!”

“You’ve been a very bad mate.” He slapped my ass hard for emphasis. “I’m going to have to teach you a few things.”

He was heading for the bedroom so I kicked against him. “I don’t want to have sex with you!!”

“Yes you do, I can smell it on you already,” he took a deep whiff and I clenched my thighs together tight, “that makes no differences, you know, I can still smell you. Smell your want.”

“I want Inuyasha, not you!”

Setting me down, the bed was right behind me. “You want to satisfy your lust without falling in love. And you push me away because you love me and that frightens you more than death.” After the shock wore off, I shook my head, but he stopped that, cupping my cheeks hard and fast. “I know your past. Your father, your mother, both worthless. And undeserving of you. As were all the men you sought out to replace them.”

“Shut up. You don’t know me, you’ve known me less than a day!”

“I know you, I’ve seen you almost all your life. You are me. Like it or not, you love me and I love you. It’s a weakness but we will face it together.”

He shut off all other conversations with that, thrusting his tongue into my mouth and pushing us back to my bed. It didn’t seem to matter that I was furious with him, talking as though he knew me, letting Inuyasha getaway, continuously calling me his mate. His mouth on mine had my body filling with heat that I needed him to put out.

Naraku stripped me and I let him, writhing under him as he laid back on top of me. Holding himself over me, he ran a heavy hand down my front. I arched into his touch like a cat being petted. “You feel that? The thrust your body has for my touch?”

I did. And thrust was the perfect word as I felt parched for his hands. 

Nodding, I watched as he leaned in, his face inches from mine. “Your lust for me is insatiable. Just as mine is for you. So you can go to another, but they won’t satisfy. It’s why you’ve been going through men. They never quenched your thirst like I do, your soulmate.”

His hand, that was on my belly, now brushed the wetness off my cheeks, smiling softly down at me. “But… Kagome made you come to me…”

“That’s not how it works.” Naraku again cut off the conversation and I wasn’t even mad, covering me with his body again. 

We were exactly where we were supposed to be.

oOo

Miroku still wore his towel and nothing else. I had put on proper clothes and it had been a fight just to do that. Never had I had a more ridiculous argument than the one I just had over panties, yoga pants, and an oversized t-shirt. Miroku was still pouting about it, sitting on the arm of the couch and watching me pace.

“We have to do something.”

His arms over his chest, I struggled to contain myself. He would be a very nice distraction if I let him be. “There’s nothing we can do. This is between Kagome and Inuyasha.”

“Exactly! Kagome and Inuyasha. Not Kagome, Inuyasha, and Kikyo!”

Miroku scratched the back of his head as if embarrassed, “that will work out quickly enough, I promise.”

“What does that mean?” When he shrugged, I started to get angry. Well… angrier. “And what the hell is going on with all of you and Kagome? Does she control you??”

“Sort of.”

I stopped and stood before him. I wanted to tower over him but even sitting, he was just at my height. At least with my glower, I was a little intimidating and Miroku shrunk a little from me. “You’re going to explain it better than that. Right now.”

He teased everywhere but his mouth. “It’s not like… it’s hard to explain. Kagome is our Master. She brought us here at your insistence. But, we would have met at some point eventually. At least, I think that’s how it works. You’re my soulmate so if not this life then perhaps the next?”

I wanted more on that, but later. “Explain why you do whatever Kagome tells you to do?!”

He shook his head, “that’s not how it works. It’s not everything. It’s only…”

Kagome’s door opened and I sighed in agitation. I was glad she didn’t hear even as she set her phone down on the dining room table. “I called her.”

“Called who?” I bit back my irritation to wait for her answer, I really hoped I was wrong.

“Kagome.”

Now I let it all fly free, “Why the FUCK would you call her??!!”

Jesus. It was her ex all over again, calling and forgiving. Kagome didn’t have to tell me, I know she called and forgave Kikyo the bitch. But I wanted her to say it, admit her dumbass actions to my face. 

“I had to, Sango. It’s not her fault…”

“How the hell do you figure??? She came here and kissed your soulmate moments after you slept with him?!!”

“It’s not as if she knew that.”

“You’re right but Inuyasha did!!”

She shrugged, “we both took advantage of him. But now he’s where he belongs.”

Miroku tried to stop me but I got to Kagome around him, grabbing her shoulders and forcing her to face me. “There is a thing as being too forgiving Kagome. Why are you giving up?! Why are you giving up Inuyasha so easily?!”

“He was never mine. He’s where he wants to be and… I want him to be happy.”

Miroku sighed now, “you’re a very considerate Master but Inuyasha is far from happy where he is now.”

Kagome shook a little in my hold. “I didn’t tell him to go or stay. It was all his choice and he made the one he wanted…”

Miroku scrubbed his face with his hand and sighed again. “That’s not how it works….”

“Yeah, you keep fucking saying that but not explaining!!” I yelled.

His eyes danced between the two of us and we were silent, waiting to hear the truth. Miroku took a deep breath to ready himself, “look, the best way I can explain it….”

Someone pounded on the door, nearly breaking it down. “JUDAS PRIEST! LET THE MAN FINISH!!!!”

But my shout was ignored, the front door bursting open before any of us could move to open it. Inuyasha looked winded, panting with his hair all a mess. Kagome was winded too, her breathing picking up. I could feel it as she expelled the cold puffs into my neck. I had her wrapped protectively in my hold again and Inuyasha didn’t try to take her from me at all. He just stood there, staring at Kagome. 

Hands grabbed me, pulling me away and I fought against them only to have them go from gentle to forceful. “Come Sango. We should leave them be now.”

An arm around my waist, he lifted me off my feet and pulled me back. Only to lift me all the way into his arms, carrying me bridal style back to my room. “We can’t just leave her alone with him!!!”

“They want to be alone, trust me. You’re not going to want to see this.”

I struggled in his hold, worried for my friend. “What does that mean?? What’s he going to do to her?!”

Miroku kicked open my door and continued to keep me where he wanted me. “Same thing I’m going to do to you.”

“Could you stop thinking with your dick for a minute??”

He paused, looking over my body as he held it over my bed. “You should have worn different pants then.”

“Miroku this is serious…”

“He’s going to be gentle, I promise. I can’t say the same for you.” He dropped me, leaving me to bounce a few times and a hungry smile spread on his face. “That’s very nice. I like it.”

With his eyes where they were, I had to assume he meant my lack of bra as I bounced. I got up on my hands and he loosened his towel, letting it hang on his erect cock. My mind was struggling to focus, to remember my friend in need just outside my door. Especially when Miroku tossed his towel. 

Something about the shape and size, I really wanted to feel it with my tongue. I could keep an ear open and focused on the living room. It wasn’t soundproof. If things got bad, I would rush out to Kagome. Miroku was right, they did need to talk. I hoped Kagome would give him hell. I was going to give Miroku hell for his caveman ways, carrying me in here like I was his property. 

Had Miroku ever received a blow job? The way he flinched when I scooted to the edge of the bed told me ‘no’. And when I licked up the side of his shaft? His grip on my shoulders was almost painful but it didn’t stop me. The bumps along his shaft felt just as good against my tongue as they did against the walls of my pussy, lapping him along the thick vein. He twitched had when I kissed his tip, barely missing my nose.

Grabbing his hips, I held him still while I took him into my mouth. His hands left my shoulders and went into my hair, grabbing my head hard and trying to move it. I quickly moved them back to my shoulders. I wanted to give him a blow job but I wasn’t about to let him fuck my mouth.

He was a good boy, leaving his hands where I placed them so I went back to work. Miroku groaned loudly when I took him into my throat. He was the largest man I’d ever been with so it was hard to suck on his entire length. 

With a hand around his shaft, I pumped him and sucked on his tip. That had him moaning louder. 

Looking up at him, I could only see the bottom of his chin and jaw. I still watched as it worked, opening and widening with each stroke of my tongue across his slit. Then I grabbed his balls, rolling them around in my palm. That lasted a few seconds, Miroku pushing me back hard so that I fell on the bed. 

“I was going to…”

He ripped my pants and panties down roughly before rolling me onto my belly and grabbing my hips hard. He thrusted in and pumped hard for several seconds, coming inside my womb instead of my mouth.

Still, I was getting agitated, his hard cock inside me, teasing, and while I was soaked from our combined juices. “I was going to finish you with my mouth.”

He was stroking my ass as if to calm me. “I know. But I would never dishonor my Mate like that. Not one so considerate and giving as you.”

“It’s not a big deal. Better than you coming inside me. Safer.”

What did a demon know of human conception? I had my period last week so I knew I was safe for now. But I needed to get the pill for sure now. Monday. I would get it Monday, my refill just sitting at the pharmacy since my last boyfriend left me. 

Miroku leaned into my ear, rolling his hips slightly. “You need to get naked now.”

Turning my head, I pressed my cheek against his. “You need to help me.”

He wasn’t super gentle, ripping my shirt up over my head, but I didn’t care, giggling at his hasty actions. His libido was the worst, I was pretty sure I had created a monster.

oOo

Inuyasha’s eyes were burning me, burning in general as a red fire danced inside them. His ears were twitching back and forth, from flat to upright in a manner that was so adorable, it brought fresh tears to my eyes. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You shouldn’t have let me leave.”

There was a casnim between us. A distance that was painful just to see. I could still feel him between my legs, a lingering sensation that I blamed on his large cock and tender fingers. And my guilt, having taken advantage of him even if unintentional. 

“I want you to be happy. You deserve that.”

The distance shrunk a little, Inuyasha taking a step closer. “I was happy, blissful until you tossed me to your friend.”

“I didn’t toss you! You kissed her of your own free will! She’s the one you want…”

“You’re the only one I want! I fucking told you that! I told you I wanted you Kagome and then made love to you…”

“And then you came out here and kissed Kikyo!” I turned from him, unable to stand his burning cinders as they singed me. “I tried not to command anything from you, control you but clearly I did anyway. From the beginning I was controlling you, wasn’t I?” Glancing back, I found he hadn’t changed. If anything, he was only angrier but I had no fear, I would never fear Inuyasha. “Go home.”

“I am home.”

I would use my control, one last time, to get him where he belonged. “Go to Kikyo, Inuyasha.”

“No.”

Confused, I spun. Inuyasha was on top of me, heading in the opposite direction from the one I told him to move to. “I said leave!”

“The hell I will!” 

He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me and taking us to the couch. He dropped to it, taking me with him to sit on his lap. Pushing and fighting his grip only caused me to rub against him, finding me split around him, a leg on either side of his hip. 

He smirked up at me now, putting his hands on my ass. “You can’t even help yourself can you?”

I had to settle for my hands on his chest, keeping him from trying to kiss me. “I’m not doing anything! You’re not my Mate, your Kikyo’s! I don’t want to do anything with someone else’s!!!”

“Good thing I’m not hers then, I’m yours.”

A sob erupted from my chest and his smile faltered. “Is this because we already slept together?!”

Growling, his hands left my ass and pushed on my back, breaking the straight hold I had on my arms. I nearly fell face-first into his but he caught the back of my shirt to dangle me above his lips. “Made love. I made love to you. Don’t let the position fool you, it was my dog that wanted it that way. But I made love to you willingly. Because you are my Mate, no one else.”

“I said that to you at some point. I had to of. I made you believe it with my control that you were mine but I was wrong and I’m sorry. I didn’t know I could do that until this afternoon….”

He dropped my shirt and jumped the rest of the way to my mouth. And God help me, I kissed him back. It was wrong, I know, but soulmate or not I loved him. I felt it all the way to my toes, I loved him so much that my body reacted even with it wrong. My arms wrapped around his neck and my thighs widened, letting me slip down closer to him. I hadn’t changed, hadn’t even put on a pair of panties from before. 

Too heartbroken. 

But I regretted it now, my folds pressing to the tent in his pants, the sweatpants he wore not hiding any of his shape from me. A shape I felt like I already had memorized from just our one time together.

It didn’t make any of this right, breaking my mouth from his and trying to getaway. Inuyasha wasn’t allowing it, yanking any good hold I had on something to pull out of his hold away from me and pushing me down each time I rose. After a few futile moments of struggle, I glared back at him. “Let me go!”

Again, he refused me. “No.”

I wasn’t giving up, pushing on him again to get free and he actually laughed at my attempts. “Why aren’t you listening to me!!! I’m your Master and you always do as I say don’t you?!!”

The grin on his face would have melted my panties if I had any on. His nose twitched, sniffing lightly and I cursed the heat between my legs that he caused in me. With his arms knotted around my waist, I had not choice but to sit still on his lap. Especially with him ignoring my commands.

“I’m listening to you but the control of a Master doesn’t work like that. We only do as suggested when it’s in our best interest.” Words failed me. I didn’t understand any of this, shaking my head at him was the best I could do and he chuckled. “You told me to speak? And I did because you wanted me to be free. I didn’t knock the shit out of Naraku because it would’ve have fixed a damn thing. I got off that stage because I was being stupid. I called you Kagome because I wanted to more than anything. Never once did you ask me to want you but I would have if you said the word. Because it was in my best interest to want you, Kagome.”

“Was it in Naraku’s best interest to go back to Kikyo? To give up his freedom and return? I commanded him to do that too and he did. He even froze mid-stride when I commanded it.”

“Naraku is vain but he isn’t a dumbass… well not about everything. He knows Kikyo is his Mate just like I know you’re mine. It was in his best interest to calm the fuck down and go back to her. Where else would he go anyway?”

He did have a point, Naraku knew no one and had no one to turn to. And Miroku… if he wanted to keep Sango, soulmate or not, he needed to listen to her. 

My thoughts on all the things I had commanded, unknowingly and not, scattered when Inuyasha pressed his lips to my neck. A sheltered moan released from my lips without my permission and I quickly bit my lip to keep anything else from popping out. 

“You didn’t tell me to kiss you today.” He spoke against my skin, his lips pursing as he talked to kiss and nip the column of my neck. “You asked me what would make me feel better and kissing you did. And you said nothing about me coming to your bed tonight. All you’ve done is let your fear push us apart.”

His hands slid under my shirt and pressed to my back, slowly working their way up to my shoulders. 

“I should have stripped you our first time.”

Inuyasha was murmuring against my neck now and I was losing control, working my hips against him. I didn’t want to think about what I was doing to his pants right now. “Inuyasha…”

“You don’t have to say a word,” his tongue flicked across my collarbone under my shirt, “if it will help you understand, say nothing. It won’t change a thing, I’m going to make love to you on this couch.”

At that, he pulled his arms up, taking my shirt off with it. Here I was, sitting on Inuyasha’s lap in our living room, naked. With my shirt off, he took his off and I was in a daze looking at his chiseled chest. Sure, I’d seen it before like when we first met. But with me naked and inches from him, feeling the heat of his skin on mine, it was completely different. 

That, and I knew what he was like now as far as sex. 

It was more than that. In a single day, I felt like I knew him. I felt like I always had. Was that part of the spell though? 

Turning, Inuyasha laid me on the couch,keeping my legs spread with his hips. He kept his eyes on mine as he stripped off his pants. Inuyasha wasn’t kidding about sex on the couch. 

“Wait… this isn’t right…”

He fell back to my hands as I put them out to stop him from falling completely on top of me. With his own hands next to my head, holding himself off of me and the couch, I was caged by thick arms that pulsed with muscles. It was enough to make me drool and I wasn’t just talking about from my mouth. 

“I waited years for you, seeing you in my dreams, memorizing your voice and face. Why do you think I went straight for you last night? And now I’ve waited hours after having you to have you again. You’re mine, Kagome.”

The possessive show had my mouth hanging open. I was confused by what he said, dreaming of my face and voice? What did that mean?

It didn’t make sense but it did. Or maybe that was my desire talking, feeling a fevered need like never before.

But that wasn’t what I was talking about. 

“The couch, Yash. I meant it wasn’t right for us to do this on the couch.”

Inuyasha let his head droop with a sigh, his silvery white locks ticing my ears. It made me wonder, glancing between us to peek. Yep, carpet matched the curtains, a white happy trail going all the way down and creating a glowing halo around his dick. This was the first time getting a look at it and it was bigger than I thought. No wonder I still felt ‘stretched’ two hours later.

“You bought this couch, didn’t you?”

I coughed, flustered at Inuyasha catching me looking but also at his unexplained knowledge. “Yes… but that’s not the point, someone could see us.”

“Miroku is going to be keeping Sango busy until dawn. Just like I am you.”

Slowly, he lowered himself until he caught my lips with his. My hands left his plump chest and cupped his face, holding him to me. He lowered the rest of the way, rubbing his shaft against my folds until he was pressed against my clit. I gasped into his mouth but he didn’t let me go, slipping his tongue inside and touching it to mine. 

I felt his tip poke my entrance and waited for him to put himself in. He didn’t need guidance this time, sliding in with one fluid movement of his hips. My body had missed him, greeting him back without hesitation. 

“Your pussy missed me.” He growled and I opened my eyes to look up at him. He was still holding himself above me, watching my every move. “And my cock missed you too.”

“Just your cock?” I teased. 

Blood bloomed across his cheeks but he didn’t break away from our staring contest. “I missed you. Kagome. I waited forever for you and I never want to miss you again.”

“Then don’t kiss other women.”

His mouth was set in a firm line but he sat back, hooked my legs with his arms, and put his hands back next to my head on the couch. The result of which was my feet next to Inuyasha’s head, my ass off the couch with his hips resting on top. 

“Don’t let me walk away again either.”

It didn’t matter that I was trying to do what was best, I had still hurt Inuyasha. It was clear on his face. But we were even, him hurting me by kissing Kikyo and me hurting him for making him think I didn’t want him. 

This was us making up, Inuyasha lifting his hips only to slam them back into me. My entire body was on fire, feeling like I would explode from it any second now. 

The loud pops our bodies made was almost deafening. Surely Miroku and Sango heard it and if they didn’t, the loud moans I couldn’t stop or soften were. 

Suddenly, Inuyasha stopped and sat back again, holding my legs high and spread wide. When it was clear he wanted me to keep them there, and that I would, he took a hand off one leg and pressed his fingers into my clit. “This is what you like, isn’t it?”

A moan stuck in my throat so I nodded. He reared back his hips and slammed into me, holding a leg to keep me steady while he rolled my clit around in his fingers. I was coming. With each slap of his hips, I came a little bit more. My body waited, waited for his cock to hit my dam before releasing a little more ecstasy. 

It was the longest orgasm of my life and it was only halfway done. 

Inuyasha fell back to me and I grabbed onto him tight. Digging my nails into his shoulders, my entire body throbbed as he continued to thrust hard and deep. With his pelvis flush to mine, his body took over for his fingers, allowing him to hold me while I fell to pieces. 

He was coming too, groaning in my ear as he struggled to keep pumping. I was almost done, almost through my orgasm. So I helped him, pressing up into him so he could stay as deep as possible. 

I was a bag of pleasure filled bones when he stopped, just as limp as me. Pulling my fingers through his hair, I waited for him to rally and get up. Even though I really liked his weight on me. 

My finger grazed his ear and I froze. “I’m sorry!”

He shook his head, kissing my neck and shoulder where his face was lodged. “No, don’t stop.”

So I didn’t, slowly rubbing up the fuzzy corner of his ear to the tip and going back down. It was so soft and warm, I loved them. “Will our kids have them?”

The sex was making me stupid, talking about things in the distant future if Inuyasha even wanted children. Or even wanted them with me. 

He was staring at me now and it only made it worse, wishing I could turn invisible or melt. There was a shine to his eyes that made me feel a little bit better. It was accompanied by his smile. “What do you think?”

“What do I… think?”

“About our kids. What do you think?”

He was smirking and it gave me some courage. “I hope… I hope they have your ears. And your eyes.”

“I want them to be all you.” He nuzzled my nose as he spoke and my cheeks burned even more. “My Mate is beautiful and kind.” He paused to brush his lips against mine then spoke against my mouth. “I’m going to pup you up soon at this rate, Kagome.”

“I.. I should.. go on the pill.” He cocked his head to the side. “Birth control. It keeps you from having kids before you’re ready.”

He shrugged, “are we not ready?”

“We just met.”

“Did we?”

Inuyasha was already kissing me again, causing me to wiggle my hips from the intensity of it. With us already moving together, it seemed moot but I still caught enough breath to say “take me to bed, lover” when I got my mouth free. 

That was why he lifted us off the couch and bounced me on him the whole way to my room.

[thecassadilla]

Change of Pace - Chapter 4

Pairing: Kristanna

Chapter 4 on AO3

Read from Chapter 1 on AO3

Word Count: 4,779

Summary: With her sister’s blessing, Anna takes a step back from her royal duties and finds herself working for a ski resort nestled in the mountains. A chance encounter with the resort’s maintenance technician leads them down an unexpected path, as they must work together to plan the resort’s annual ball - and maybe fall in love in the process.

Author’s Note: Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who's been reading it so far!!! It really means so, so much to me. Hanukkah is this week, so Happy Hanukkah to those of you that celebrate!!!  And once again I apologize for all of the asterisks - tumblr removes posts with “bad language” from the tags. Uncensored version is on AO3! I hope you enjoy this chapter!!!

There was a part of him that felt like a complete a*shole for taking the brunt of his anger out on Anna, watching as she curled into herself and attempted to placate him before he stomped away. The other part of him was too busy seeing red to care - the situation may not have been directly her fault, but it was one that could’ve been avoided altogether. He knew that helping her was a bad idea from the start, but he foolishly did it anyway. Even Andrew was shocked when he initially asked if he could leave for a bit.

“Hey man,” he said. “Do you mind if I step away for a few minutes?”

“What’s going on?” Andrew asked.

“I have to take someone somewhere.”

The other man furrowed his eyebrows. “I’m confused.”

Kristoff sighed. “I have to take the lady from the event office to the abandoned building right off the C Ski Lift. So she could scope it out for her party.”

“Is she pretty?”

“Is that relevant?”

“Go for it, man,” Andrew said, a knowing look plastered across his face.

Frankly, it was a bit humiliating; Andrew wasn’t the type to tease or make a fuss out of things like that. But in hindsight, Kristoff, himself, wasn’t the type to jump in and save the day for a stranger while he was on the clock.

And it had gone really well - at first. Sure, she’d said a few things that had indirectly insulted him and he’d been a little sharp with her, but it was abundantly clear that she meant no harm. Other than that, she was immensely grateful for his help - going as far as calling him a hero and rewarding him with a hug. Truth be told, he was looking forward to getting away from her as quickly as possible. Despite the fact that she was pretty and sweet, she was also the absolute last thing he needed in his life. His life was already pathetic and sad, and there was absolutely no reason to even attempt to get to know her when she’d inevitably leave just like everyone else did.

And then she enthusiastically told Bonnie that he had a hand in finding the new venue and his life changed in the blink of an eye. Not only would he have to step away from the job that he so desperately needed to be present for, but he’d also have to spend forty hours a week with her for months. And he was certain that it wasn’t the type of job where they could just sit around and mind their own business - he’d done a repair in the event office a few years prior and it was nothing but constant chatting the entire time he was there.

By the time he marched back into the ballroom that afternoon, a couple of his other coworkers had made it in and Andrew was giving them a rundown of what had happened and what the game plan was. Upon noticing that he returned, though, Andrew decided to stop what he was doing and inquire about his excursion.

“Hey, how did it go with your event planning girl?”

And at that point, despite the blazing inferno of anger inside of him, he couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. “Horrible. Absolutely horrible.”

Andrew chuckled nervously. “What happened? She turned you down?”

“Nope, I wasn’t even planning on asking her out,” he answered. “But I don’t work here anymore. Starting Monday, I report to the event planning office as her assistant.”

Andrew’s face fell. “Wait, what?”

“She told Bonnie that I helped her find the place and Bonnie decided to reward me for my good deed by shipping me upstairs.”

“Dude, we need you here. Do you see the state of this room?”

Kristoff shrugged. “I tried to tell that to Bonnie, but she didn’t care.”

“I’m going to talk to her,” Andrew insisted. “There’s not a chance in hell that we’re losing you so you could go sit in an office and plan a party.”

“Please,” he practically begged. “I really don’t want to be pulled away from this.”

Andrew nodded. “I’ll do whatever I can.”

But just as he expected, Andrew wasn’t able to get very far with Bonnie. She emphasized that he was needed in the event planning office, and that if the maintenance team needed extra hands, they could hire temporary employees - which was a*s backwards, if you asked him. It was totally illogical to hire several temps, when she only had to hire one assistant event planner, but he chalked it up to the fact that Andrew would be responsible for hiring the temps, not her.

So, he made a decision. He’d go in and begrudgingly do whatever they asked him to in the meantime - but he wasn’t going to make any promises. If another job popped up elsewhere and he was offered the position, he was going to take it without a second thought. Event planning office and Valley Ski Resort, be damned.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On Monday morning, Anna woke up before her alarm and laid in bed for what felt like an eternity, staring at the ceiling and trying to calm her racing heart. When her alarm finally went off, she crawled out of bed and started her day, meticulously applying her makeup and choosing nice clothes in an effort to create a better second impression. For the first time in two months, she was absolutely dreading going to work - a feeling that she hoped would pass with time, since she actually liked her job.

“Good morning,” she called upon entering the office, relieved to see that only Holly was there and Kristoff had not yet arrived.

“Morning, Anna,” Holly responded.

“How are you?”

“I’m okay. How about you?”

“Could be better.”

“I’m sorry,” Holly frowned. “Is it because of the new guy?”

“Yeah.” Anna closed her eyes and exhaled through her nose. “I’m not looking forward to today. I actually feel a little sick to my stomach.”

“You do look a little green. I have an antacid if you want it.”

She shook her head. “No, it won’t do anything. I’m just anxious because I feel like I ruined someone’s life.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Anna. You can’t blame yourself.”

“Not only am I blaming myself, he’s blaming me too. He said as much.”

“He should be blaming Bonnie.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I feel really bad, though.”

“I know. But you have to remember that you were trying to do the right thing. There’s nothing wrong with that,” Holly assured her.

“Thanks, Holly.”

“And I may have some good news for you.”

Anna raised her eyebrows. “You do?”

“So, I know you said that you weren’t interested, but my husband and I went to dinner with a few of his work friends over the weekend and there’s this one guy who is, like, super single. I started talking about you, of course, and I showed him a picture of you, and he’s very interested in going on a date with you - if you want to, of course.”

“Really?”

Holly nodded. “Oh, yes. His name is Darren. He thinks you’re beautiful and I was telling him how you’re sweet and friendly, but kind of down on your luck right now for reasons I didn’t want to discuss, ahem.”

She smiled. “And?”

“He asked for your number. I didn’t give it to him because I wanted to check in and make sure that you were okay with it first - you know, because you specifically said that you didn’t want to be set up on a blind date - but I can send it to him right now if you want me to.”

“Sure,” Anna agreed with a nervous giggle. “You can give him my number.”

“Yes!” Holly cheered, pumping her fist in the air. “I was beyond convinced that you were going to say ‘no.’”

She shrugged. “It’s not like I have anything to lose.”

“That’s the spirit! You deserve to have a little fun! Don’t let a new job and a rude maintenance man get you down.”

As if on cue, the door to the office opened and both women turned toward it as Kristoff walked in.

“Hi,” Holly said before clearing her throat and standing up. “Kristoff, right?”

“Yup,” he answered shortly.

“I’m Holly Williams. I never had the chance to properly introduce myself last week.” She offered him her hand and he accepted, shaking for a moment. “And I’m sure you remember Anna.”

Anna gulped before squeaking out a simple greeting. “Hi.”

He didn’t bother to answer or even look in her direction.

“You can hang your coat up on the rack over there and then I’ll show you to your desk,” Holly said. They both watched as he shrugged out of his coat and hung it up before Holly led him to the desk at the back of the room that once belonged to Jenny. She pointed to a post-it note that was stuck to the border of the computer screen. “This is the login information for the computer, and I’m going to have an email account set up for you by the end of the day.”

“Thanks.”

“I’m sure you have some questions about what exactly your role is going to be.”

Anna glanced over, trying to gauge his mood and how he was reacting to all of this. Instead of answering Holly, he kept his eyes cast downward.

“So,” Holly started, once she’d come to the realization that he wasn’t going to answer. “You’ll be the assistant event planner. Um, basically you’ll be helping Anna host the rest of the events for the season, since the events have mostly been planned in advance. The primary event you’ll have to focus on is our annual ball -”

“I know about the party,” he said, cutting her off mid-sentence.

“Of course.” Holly clapped her hands together. “I heard that you were an integral part of finding our new venue.”

“Yup.”

“So, Anna is actually working on finalizing the guest list today, and the invitations have to be mailed out later this week. We’re expecting to have around five hundred invitations to send out, and you’ll be responsible for helping her with assembling the envelopes for mailing.”

“Okay.”

“Aside from that, you and Anna are going to have to work together on the rest of the planning. She’ll be able to explain what that entails. Oh, and I ordered new tables and chairs since all of the furniture in the ballroom was destroyed. The first few are going to be delivered this week, so you’ll have to make sure that they arrive at the new venue.”

“Okay.”

“Let me get you one of our event calendars,” Holly said, walking away from his desk and back to hers. “So you have an idea of what’s happening over the course of the next few months.”

Anna’s eyes trailed her silently as she made her way across the room and back. Holly handed him the paper and his eyes scanned the page.

“Do I have to be at all of these events?” Kristoff asked incredulously.

“Typically, yes,” Holly answered. “Unless you have some kind of prior obligation.”

He scoffed, tossing the paper onto the desk and shaking his head in disbelief. The two women exchanged a worried glance.

Holly cleared her throat. “I know this is probably going to be a bit of an adjustment for you, but it’ll only be for the next couple of months. So until April -”

“April?! I’ll be here until April?!”

“According to the email that Bonnie sent me, yes.”

“I thought I was supposed to stick around for the party and then go back to my regular job.”

“Well, Anna will be leaving in April so that’ll give Bonnie a considerable amount of time to fill both positions.”

“And hypothetically, if Bonnie isn’t able to fill those positions - what will happen to me? Will I just be stuck here?”

“I don’t know,” Holly answered with a sigh. “You’ll have to talk to Bonnie about that. But I understand that this has to be an incredibly difficult situation for you.”

He narrowed his eyes. “You could say that again.”

“How about you tell us a little bit about yourself? And then Anna and I will talk about ourselves.”

“I live here, I work here - there isn’t really much to it.”

Holly smiled. “Oh, did you grow up here?”

“Yup.”

“I did too! Did you go to Valley High School?”

“That’s the only high school here,” he muttered.

“When did you graduate? I graduated in oh-eight.”

“Fifteen.”

“Ooh, my husband started working there the year before. But he teaches freshmen, so you wouldn’t have had him.”

He smiled dryly. “Nice.”

“Anna, when did you graduate?” Holly asked, clearly trying to bring her into the conversation.

“Seventeen.”

“You’re the only one who was lucky enough to escape the woes of Valley High School.”

“That’s true,” she nodded. “I was homeschooled.”

“Lucky you,” he scoffed. “Valley sucks.”

Holly clicked her tongue. “It isn’t that bad.”

He rolled his eyes. “Speak for yourself.”

“It’s a small town high school, everyone knows everyone and there’s a lot of gossip,” Holly explained to Anna. “The stuff you go through there kind of follows you through life.”

“That’s unfortunate,” she remarked.

“One of my friends got pregnant junior year - her family literally had to move away because the whole town knew within a week and they wouldn't stop talking about them.”

She furrowed her eyebrows. “So why do people stay?”

“Small town charm, friendly neighbors, more relaxed than a big city.”

“Or because they don’t have a choice,” Kristoff chimed in.

“That too,” Holly agreed. “Before the resort expanded, tourists only visited during the skiing season. This town relies on the revenue that tourists bring in order to stay afloat. I think there was a collective sigh of relief when we became a year-round tourist trap.”

Anna nodded sympathetically. “That’s good, at least -”

Holly’s phone rang then, interrupting the conversation. “Excuse me,” she said, strolling over to her desk.

Kristoff sighed. “So what am I supposed to be doing right now?”

“If you want, you can start stuffing the invitations into the envelopes,” Anna offered. “And once I finish the guest list, we can start sticking the addresses on.”

“Fine,” he agreed.

She took the box of invitations out from her desk drawer, walked them over to him and set the box on his desk. “Don’t worry about sealing them. We’ll do that another day.”

By the time she made it back to her desk, he was already looking at the invitations. “You realize that the wrong location is printed on these, right?”

“What?”

“The location is wrong,” he said, holding one up. “It says that the party is in the ballroom, not the new venue.”

“Oh god, I forgot about that,” she blurted, jumping up and grabbing the invitation from his hands. “No, no, no...”

“Now what?”

“I don’t know,” she confessed, biting her lip and glancing over at Holly, who was still on the phone. “It took a few weeks for these to get shipped to us, and I don’t know if we have enough time to order new ones and ship them out with enough time for the guests to respond. I don’t know what to do.”

“Great,” he huffed. “You really run a well-oiled machine around here.”

“Excuse me?”

“Well, you just said you don’t know what you’re doing, didn’t you?”

“You seem to forget that a pipe burst and destroyed the ballroom on your watch on Friday,” she pointed out defensively. “It’s Monday.”

He narrowed his eyes. “Are you blaming me for a burst pipe?”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Only if you’re blaming me for invitations that were printed before the pipe burst.”

“Look, all I’m saying is that if you’d have caught this three days ago, maybe you could’ve ordered new invitations.”

“You do realize that a lot of businesses are closed on weekends? That it probably wouldn’t have made a significant difference? Besides, we may not have the time to order new invitations and we may have to send these as-is. That’s my point.”

“The point is that you still don’t know what you’re doing.”

“And what would’ve happened if the pipe burst the day before the party? Hmm?”

“Why are you acting like I should know the answer to this?” he argued. “This is not my department. I’m only here because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut.”

She felt her jaw tense. “You know that’s not my fault.”

“Woah, what is happening?” Holly interjected loudly.

“The invitations have the wrong location on them and it’s my fault for not immediately catching it and ordering new ones after the pipe burst on Friday,” Anna explained, her blood practically boiling. “Oh, and I don’t know what I’m doing because I’m too busy running my mouth. Not because of the wrench in our plans, but because I talk too much.”

“I didn’t say that,” he hissed.

“Yes you did! When you blamed me, yet again, for something that Bonnie did. I didn’t ask for you to come work with us.”

“You’re the one that told her that I found the venue!”

“You did find it and I was trying to be nice,” she growled. “Something that you seem to be incapable of.”

“Don’t forget that you just blamed me for a burst pipe. What should I have done? Put some duct tape over it?”

“You know, this could’ve gone so differently if you had kept your mouth closed on Friday. You’re the one who told me about the new venue, remember?”

“Okay, enough,” Holly stated firmly. “Kristoff - it is not Anna’s fault that you got transferred here, and the situation with the invitations is not her fault, either. Anna - it’s not Kristoff’s fault that the pipe burst and we’re happy that he found a new venue for us. I already have one baby at home and I’m not interested in coming to work and taking care of two more. This is an office, not a boxing ring or a debate stage.”

The silence that came after Holly spoke was deafening; the only noise in the entire room was the sound of their collective breathing and the heaters running.

When things had cooled off slightly, Holly piped up again. “Now here’s what’s going to happen - we’re going to send out the invitations as-is, but we’re going to stuff the envelopes with information about the location change. On the day of, we’ll put signs out all over the lobby and we’ll have someone wait by the ballroom to direct people to the new venue - I’ll do it myself if I have to.”

“That’s a good idea,” Anna agreed, exhaling with relief.

“The deadline to RSVP is by mid-January, and the invitations take three weeks to order so we can’t order new ones. We wouldn’t be giving the guests enough time to get back to us.”

“Told you,” Anna gloated, smiling smugly in Kristoff’s direction.

He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, but didn’t argue back. After a moment of sulking, he sat up and started on the task in front of him.

The rest of the day passed without incident and with minimal noise. Anna and Holly repeatedly exchanged glances with each other and tried to avoid talking like they would’ve on a normal day, though there were a few slips - specifically when Darren texted her to introduce himself.

“Look who texted me,” Anna said, pushing her chair over to Holly’s desk with her feet and holding out her phone.

Holly squinted at the device before squealing. “That’s so exciting! You’d better say ‘yes’ when he asks you out.”

“I’m going to,” she giggled. “Obviously.”

“This is really so great,” Holly smiled. “I’m so happy for you.”

On her way back to her desk, she noticed that Kristoff was looking in her direction through the corners of his eyes but she did her best to pretend like she didn’t see it and went about the rest of her day.

“It’s five,” Kristoff spoke up finally, after literal hours of silence. “Can I go now?”

“Of course,” Holly nodded. “Let me walk you to the elevator.”

He looked less than thrilled at the idea, but nevertheless, grabbed his coat and held the door open for Holly to follow behind him without uttering a goodbye. Anna eagerly awaited Holly’s return, knowing that she’d finally be able to talk freely now that he was gone.

She barely waited for Holly to close the door behind her before asking, “Did you say something to him?”

“I told him that he needs to stop being a d*ck or he’ll be out of a job,” Holly answered matter-of-factly. “We don’t have time for arguments.”

She cringed. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“To be clear, I’m not blaming you for what happened earlier. I told him that we understand that he’s angry, but he’s stuck with us whether he likes it or not. Picking fights with you isn’t going to solve any of that.”

“I don’t want to fight with him,” she confessed. “I don’t want to fight with anyone.”

“I know.”

“I don’t know if I can work with someone who hates me. It was so easy to get along with you and Jenny.”

“Oh, honey, I really don’t think he hates you.”

“Did you forget the part where he ignored me, then got into an argument with me, then didn’t speak for the rest of the day?”

“I think he’s angry and conflicted, but I don’t think he hates you. If he hated you, he wouldn’t have shown up today.”

“He doesn’t have a choice about not showing up - he needs a job.”

“My point is that I don’t think you’re the problem here. Just a few days ago he was willing to help you for no reason. If his first impression of you was that bad, he wouldn’t have done that.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “He didn’t know me then and I practically had to beg him to help me.”

“He still doesn’t know you, technically,” Holly pointed out. “You’ve only spent eight hours together and most of it was in silence.”

“Yeah, but he knows that I ruined his life and that’s a great reason to hate someone.”

“He’ll come around. You’re a very likeable person.”

“I doubt it,” Anna mumbled.

“Keep your chin up,” Holly said. “Everything is going to be fine. We have a new venue, the problem with the invitations was caught with time to spare, and you’re going on a date with Darren. By the end of this week, you may be the happiest girl on the planet.”

She exhaled. “You’re right. Everything is going to be fine.”

“See? You just have to stay positive. Now let’s wrap things up, it’s been a long day,” Holly directed, scribbling down some information on a post-it note. “Oh, and don’t forget that tomorrow’s Tuesday. It’s just going to be you and Kristoff all day.”

And just like that, the tiny bit of hope that had started to brew inside of her popped like a bubble pressed up against a thorn.

Of course, the following morning started off less than smoothly. Her alarm didn’t go off, so she woke up late and got a late start to the day, which meant she’d have to forego looking halfway decent in order to make it in on time - no makeup and a messy bun, it was. She ran around her cabin, gathering her belongings and trying to make sure that she’d have everything she would need for the day before jetting off, hoping that it wasn’t some sort of bad omen.

By the time she actually made it to work, Kristoff was leaning up against the wall outside of the office, his arms crossed over his chest and a pinched expression on his face.

“I’m sorry for keeping you waiting,” she said breathlessly, as she fumbled through her purse for the keys to the office. “I’m usually early.”

“It’s okay.”

He didn’t really seem to care, but she continued to explain herself nonetheless. “Holly doesn’t work on Tuesdays or Thursdays, and this is my first time here without her or Jenny. I’ve never had to use my keys before.”

“Oh.”

She finally managed to find the keys in her mess of a bag, promptly unlocked the door and pushed it open before stepping aside and holding out her arm. “After you.”

“Thanks,” he said skeptically, walking into the dark office.

Anna flipped the lights on before closing the door behind her. “Holly left a note on your desk with your email and temporary password. You can log on and change the password and we’ll cc you in our emails.”

“Okay.”

“I’m going to run downstairs and grab a cup of coffee,” she said, deciding to be nice at the last possible second. “Do you want anything?”

Her offer actually invoked a reaction from him for the first time that day - he definitely seemed a bit startled by it. “Um...no thanks.”

“Alright. I’ll be right back.”

She made a mad dash for the coffee shop on the first floor, grateful that there was no line. The last thing she needed was to look like she was intentionally trying to avoid him or slacking or doing some other negative thing that he could run to Bonnie with in an attempt to get her into trouble. As soon as the cup was in her hands, she returned to the office, where Kristoff seemed to be patiently waiting for further instruction.

She cleared her throat and set the cup down on her desk. “So, you finished stuffing all of the envelopes yesterday, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, Holly had the location cards printed out overnight,” she said, grabbing the large stack of papers from the printer. “You’ll just have to cut them into the appropriate size and then stuff them into the envelopes.”

“I have to cut all of these by hand?” he whined, his face falling.

“We have a g*illotine,” she assured him, trying to remain calm. “It’ll make the process a lot easier.”

“You have a what?”

His reaction made her giggle. “Oh, sorry. Holly and I call it a g*illotine. I don’t know what the actual name of it is, but it’s basically an industrial paper cutter. I’ll get it for you.”

The g*illotine was stored in the closet, so she walked over and retrieved the heavy tool, staying weary of the bl*de. She placed it on his desk with a thud.

“Now I see why you call it a g*illotine.”

“Right?! Okay, so you may have to stand up to do this - I know I do,” she said, picking up a few of the papers. When he stood up, she demonstrated. “So basically, you slide the paper under the little guard and then you line it up with the grid to make sure it’s straight. Then, you just pull the bl*de down and voila, you have a bunch of cut up papers with minimal effort.”

“Seems easy enough.”

“Just make sure that you hold the paper against the grid while you’re cutting or they’ll come out crooked. And be careful - we can always print out more of the location cards, but we can’t replace your fingers so easily.”

He let out an amused snort. “Okay.”

She smiled to herself as she sat down at her desk, grateful that it seemed to be going much better than the previous day; they were getting along for the time being and there was no hostility or tension. They both worked quietly, and though Anna missed the constant chatting like when Holly was around, she had no idea what she could possibly talk to Kristoff about. So, the sound of the bl*de scraping against the side of the g*illotine and her typing were the primary sounds that filled the otherwise silent space.

The day went by at a snail pace, but when five o’clock finally came and they’d managed to survive the day without an argument, she admittedly felt quite triumphant. She looked forward to updating Holly about how the day had gone, especially since Holly had insisted that she stay positive.

“Have a nice day,” she said, as he was pulling on his coat. “See you tomorrow.”

“You too,” he replied, offering her a half-smile.

I can do this, she thought to herself as she watched him leave. If it stays like this for the next five months, I can do this.

[we-can-all-wakeup]

Blurred Lines

Pairing: Charoix Word Count:1740 Link: AO3 - 7 CHAPTERS OF ONESHOTS Summary:  Rigid lines were never meant to last forever - and certainly not when it concerned Chariot. A small exploration as to how she might have to manage when the lines she had drawn are taken apart.

Ursula was timid, she was uncertain about many things, and treated confrontation like a disease. Regret, duty and responsibility were the heavy chains that kept her a prisoner to her own guilt - rendering her unable to form connections that would have otherwise added meaningful purpose into her life. Until of course, the unthinkable did happen. As her shackles had been torn apart by acceptance and validation, she was soon freed from the punishment she inflicted upon herself a lifetime ago … but had she truly been freed? Ursula was only one part of her that had remained when Chariot had done her best to cut herself out from the world when she had committed crimes and wrongs too horrible to properly be forgiven for. If Ursula had been freed, what was the rest of Chariot supposed to do?

“You’ve been staring for a while … do I have something on my face?” Croix asked, gently stirring Chariot from her thoughts. The redhead blinked once, coming back to her senses before she reeled herself back, confusing the lilac haired witch. “Are you ok? You haven’t been skipping your meals have you, I thought only I had the privilege to do so,” the older witch joked with a light laugh, and though the redhead returned with a chuckle, her inner thoughts had taken a new direction.

Skipping meals … now that brought up a whole slew of fond memories Chariot had - the few that helped her through sleepless nights. Even at a young age, Croix had an unhealthy habit of staying up late, missing meal times and resorting to crappy, instant food that lacked any kind of nutrients. A symptom of being a genius, the taller witch had deadpanned, and from that point on Chariot had made it her personal mission to limit the intake of fake food as much as possible. One part to make sure her best friend made it past the age of 20 and the other, to keep her inflated ego in check. She remembered the unlimited number of complaints she had every time she snuck food into Croix’s room, laughing as she did so - remarking that she felt more like her mother, or sister, than an underclassmen.

Now though? A decade later, and Croix still admitted to living with fake food as a essential part of her diet, but she didn’t need Chariot - or anyone - to coddle and try and regulate her meals. The older witch had grown up - had long since needed, or even wanted perhaps, the redhead to hover over her shoulder. Croix was old enough, smart enough, to make proper decisions, or at least know where and when to seek help if she needed it. That was part of growing up.

So it thoroughly terrified the redhead when it began to dawn on her that perhaps Chariot no longer had a place - in the present, in Croix’s life, in place of Ursula whom many had begun to, or wholeheartedly, accepted - omission of truth and all. Chariot du Nord had been killed - cut away - a decade ago, and Ursula had been meant to take her place however best she could. Where was Chariot du Nord supposed to fit in now, when all that she had known, knew, loved and hated seemed to have moved on without her?

The entire table shook in Chariot’s haste to remove herself from her chair. Croix immediately placed her book down, concerned, but hesitant. Good. Flashing … an expression, anything that wasn’t completely breaking down in front of the older witch, Chariot spilled something that sounded like ‘I need to go’ - she’d later learn that she had in fact said ‘i’m going to blow up’ - and left the library with acrobatic ingenuity.

For the next few weeks, Chariot had been unconsolable. Many had begun to refer to the sudden change as her reverting back to her Ursula facade, which only drove the wedge between the two distinctively difficult identities apart even further through the chasm of confusion. In Chariot’s mind she had gradually began to accept that there never really was two people - it was only ever Chariot who grew cowardly enough to shed her name and face when the going got too tough, and now struggled to brave through this new world that had forgotten or no longer cared for her. It was a slow process, albeit a steady one, had a student not mistakenly called out “Professor Ursula” and unintentionally drove a critical point home.

There was no need for Chariot to exist in this world.

…

“Croix-Sensei … why do you never call ... Chariot-Sensei as ‘Ursula’?” Akko asked innocently, and Chariot who had been lurking through supposedly less frequented hallways had to pause. A long war waged within her, because she had to truly decide whether or not she could live with knowing what the two arguably most important people had to say about her, about Chariot. Was she strong enough to hear what Croix had to share - what the lilac haired witch may say, the good and bad, of Chariot? Strong enough to suffer through another decade of self inflicted punishment if Akko’s morale compass pointed away from her?

“Because,” Croix replied in a light tone, “Chariot is Chariot.”

“I don’t get it!”

“Mm …” Croix pondered for a moment, and Chariot could hear her heart hammer louder with every second that passed by, tapping in time with the impatient foot-taps Akko had taken to performing. “I guess the Chariot you remember was … hyper, bubbly, strong … just like you, I suppose,” a giggle, “but you also know ‘Ursula’ - that just means that you also know that Chariot can cry and mess up sometimes, too.” Akko made a hum of … something, confusion likely but Croix was quick to add in. “Maybe it’s easier to think of her heart.”

“What do you mean?”

“Chariot has a heart that is capable of believing, loving, caring, and remembering … and like any human being, it is also capable … or susceptible, to despair, guilt, fear and the whole package,” Croix explained, “as far I see, none of that has changed. Chariot still has a heart that is forgiving, optimistic, and very precious to me. Even if she decided to call herself Ursula, her heart never changed, right? At the end of the day, it’s still Chariot who finds the book you need at two in the morning, the same Chariot who always spends her time with me in the library even if I’m not really paying attention to her.”

“Hehe. I guess it was obvious to you, Croix-Sensei, if you loved her heart, it wouldn’t matter what name she took, as long as you remember why you loved her.”

“That’s right,” Croix replied, tenderly, “Chariot is Chariot - nothing in the world could come between us if I’m looking for that precious heart of hers.”

Sniff

Eh?

Turning to the source of the distressing noise, Croix’s heart dropped when she saw the sight of Chariot, crying - bawling really - and desperately trying to stop her tears with an already soaked sleeve. There were so many questions she wanted to ask, some more serious than others, but the lilac haired witch found that she could really do nothing of note, except for panicking and trying to get a proper look at Chariot’s face - fighting stronger arms that had come up to cover a tear stained face.

Good god why did the redhead always become such an adorable turtled up shy mess when tears were involved? Croix had half the mind to leave her be, knowing that the redhead would eventually get sleepy and demand to be carried back to her room - if they had still been children, that is. As of right now, Croix was dealing with a complete unknown, and the idea of leaving Chariot who was still crying just seemed all sorts of wrong.

Eventually, quickly enough, Croix was able to convince the redhead to lower her arms, revealing a rather red face - but god damn if the years hadn’t been generous to the redhead. Croix had seen references and heard of people who were supposedly ‘beautiful criers’ but she had a feeling that none of them could ever hold a candle to Chariot. Lashes fluttered quickly, determined to hold any further tears at bay, her breaths were short, likely still trying to even out the pace of her heart. The most gorgeous detail of all, that captivated and deprived Croix of her ability to speak, was the glistening that had taken over the red wines of Chariot’s eyes when the redhead finally dared to flicker her gaze to meet Croix’s. They weren’t merely pools of sorrow, or helplessness - it was life that she saw within those charming eyes, a glitter of hope and uncensored joy.

If only she could have been blessed with years to simply burn the image into her head …

Sadly though, their moment was quickly ruined by whispers and jeers that had begun to increase in volume.

“She made her cry~” A taunt broke through clearly, and though Croix tried to glare at whoever insinuated that, Chariot let out a incriminating sniff once again, setting panic off in Croix’s heart once more, prompting the older witch to grip down firmly on the arms she had taken ahold of. “Croix-Sensei is a bully~”

The smallest of smiles broke through on Chariot’s face - and while Croix was relieved, she could certainly do without the lies that were being shouted overhead. “Croix-Sensei is breaking her heart~”

Before Croix actually snapped and dispatched her roombas, arms slipped by her sides and pulled her into a tight embrace - the kind that left you breathless when you realized that it wasn’t a dream or apparition that had touched upon you. Slender, toned arms rested at her waist, a face was pressed comfortably against her shoulder, the welcomed weight of a desired companion, feminine form of her would-be lover … it took Croix a few seconds to properly return the embrace, intimate, but shy of scandalous. It was definitely everything she had dreamed of - and more. Never would she have been able to imagine how warm, how full, how fulfilling a simple embrace could be. It must’ve been the “Chariot Effect” - the redhead’s hidden ability to make sure whatever she did, whatever she touched upon, received every bit of her love.

And Croix definitely felt it.

“Thank you, Croix.”

“...Always, Chariot.”

[minitravellers]

So according to BBC breakfast today my generation (those born between 77 and 83) are called the Xennials - apparently we forged the way between the old & new and got the best of both worlds! We experienced a childhood of playing outside, children's TV, Mattel toys and the first home computers & consoles. Our generation saw the original Transformers, Care Bears, My Little Ponies and He-man. We adopted Cabbage Patch kids with squished faces, strange names and autographed bottoms. We had the Broom Cupboard, Going Live and Wacaday. We appreciated that we had 2 hours of tv that was just for us at the end of the school day. We sang the tunes to Willy Fogg and Dogtanian and thought that Cities of Gold would never end. We thought that Dynasty was super glamorous and Byker Grove was gritty. We all wanted to live on Ramsay Street and we cried when Scott and Charlene got married. (We secretly knew all along that Plain Jane would be pretty once she took her glasses off.) We watched Degrassi Junior High, read Sweet Valley High and wished we went to school in America. We got excited when the tv trolley was wheeled into our classrooms and had one BBC master computer that we got to use as a treat...usually to make a robot go round a maze or something equally as exciting. It didn't matter though because the BBC Master used floppy discs which were a thousand times faster than the cassettes we used on our Commodore 64s at home! We remember the countdown clock that the BBC showed before their school programmes & can remember being genuinely scared whilst watching 'Dark Towers.' The last day of school was games day and someone always brought in Screwball Scramble which nobody could ever complete! We could create our own games without staring at a computer screen. We played tag, denio 123 and British Bulldog (before the teachers banned it!) In the summertime a sprinkler could provide hours of fun. We didn't watch YouTube videos of people unboxing toys - we played with our own! A 'Choose your own Adventure' book allowed us to choose our own destiny - especially when we could go back to page 22 to avoid being killed! We learnt how to make plans without the need for WhatsApp, group messenger or email. We chatted for hours to our Friends on the land line & got yelled at by our dads when the phone bill arrived! Our friends were actual people that we knew - not online followers. We received real cards on our birthdays not text messages or exploding marshmallows and had to write actual thank you letters to our Grandma's rather than sending a message online. The postman used to come twice a day and there was no online shopping so the delivery of a parcel usually meant a present! Oh and we all really really wanted a Mr Frosty for Christmas but never ever got one! We took proper photos on actual cameras and had to wait for them to be developed before we could see how awful we looked. A 'selfie' was taken at arms length and usually came back from Truprint with an 'over exposed' sticker on it! There were no filters to disguise those spots & red eyes but on the plus side there was less embarrassment as the images would not be posted on social media for all the World to see! We had to use an actual book for our high school homework but discovered the joys of 'Ask Jeeves' as we did our A-levels - that was if our Mum wasn't on the phone hogging our dial up internet connection. At university we typed our essays & dissertations on a word processor as there were no laptops. We queued up to use the computer suites but spent most of our time sending long emails to other friends at uni rather than doing any work! We owned mobile phones that could not fit in your pocket and could only text people on the same network as you. We spent hours playing Snake on our Nokia 3310s. We all knew someone who had a pager but we could never really see the point in them! We grew up watching the greatest films ever made; Ghostbusters, The Goonies, Grease and Gremlins. We all watched Karate Kid and believed we could be a champion too because we could 'wax on...wax off.' We watched Dirty Dancing and hoped that one day we would have a holiday romance with a Patrick Swayze look a like. We watched the Back to The Future trilogy and worked out how old we would be in 2015 which seemed so far away. We grew up with an awareness of the World that our parents did not have. We giggled at 'Position of the fortnight' in More magazine and all read 'Forever' by Judy Bloom, but were still innocent enough to be shocked by Zammo's drug addiction on Grange Hill, PJ being shot in the eye with a paintball gun and the uncensored lyrics to 'Don't stop' (wiggle wiggle) by the Outhere Brothers. And as for the naked man playing tennis on the beach in the early sex education videos we watched at school - we were totally traumatised!! We also grew up to be more considerate of others. We remember the original Band Aid single and all the subsequent re-releases (even the dodgy 1990 version featuring Bros & Sonia) We can recall the horror we felt when John Craven showed us images of starving children in Ethiopia. We were the Blue Peter 'Bring & Buy sale' generation raising money for wells in Africa & orphans in Romania. We were fearful when we heard about the hole in the Ozone layer and embraced the 'No animal testing' mantra of the Body Shop. We saw the first televised lesbian kiss on Brookside, watched Mark die of AIDS on Eastenders and saw the demise of the old-school racist, homophobic & sexist comedians. We remember when a 10 penny mix up bought you 10 (or more!) sweets! When a MrFreeze cost 5p and Curly Wurlys were really long! We know the excitement of opening a box of cereal to retrieve the free gift hidden inside. We remember proper milk bottles on the doorstep & Barr pop where you got 20p back when you returned the bottle. We can never hear the words 'Accrington Stanley' without replying 'Who are they?' In a dodgy scouse accent. We didn't wear the most stylish of clothes & we never posted photos to share our daily outfits. Tammy Girl was the only place to shop till you fitted into Topshop sizes. A gift basket from Body Shop was the ultimate birthday gift and we slathered ourselves in Dewberry, White Musk, Exclaimation & Impulse believing that one day a stranger would actually stop to give us flowers on the street just like the advert. We made the move from vinyl to cassette and Cd. The Walkman was the ultimate accessory and we taped the top 40 every Sunday desperately trying to avoid the DJs voice! We read Smash Hits and Look In and tried to learn all the words to 'Joe le Taxi' because Vanessa Paradis seemed so sexy & aloof. We hoped one day that a boyfriend would present us with a mix tape but in the meanwhile we made our own. We boosted our cd collections by repeatedly subscribing to Brittania Music. Of course we now all have iTunes but we still can't bring ourselves to throw away our cd collections! We went to university before tuition fees and bought houses before prices became inaccessible. We watched Big Brother when it was good and cheered when Craig ousted Nasty Nick. We saw people become famous because they were talented - not just because they appeared on a reality show. We were old enough to be out partying on Millenium Eve and were relieved that the World did not succumb to the Millennium bug after all; no planes fell out of the sky and no nuclear bombs were launched by accident! We travelled more than our parents did thanks to the emergence of budget airlines, teletext holidays, inter-railing, Club 18-30 and Twentys. We thought we were so independent but still wanted our dads to drive us to the airport & still had to give our parents 'three rings' to let them know we had arrived safely. So yes, to all those who like me were the babies of the late 1970s, the children of the 80s, the teens of the 90s and the young adults of the new millenium, I think we did get the best deal. More technically savvy than our parents but experienced enough to know that social media & technology are not the be all and end all. To be honest I am pretty proud to be a Xennial - aren't you? http://ift.tt/2t37FoE

[lifestyledivine]

New Post has been published on Laurel Marshall

New Post has been published on http://laurelmarshall.com/build-your-health-beyond-the-fork/

Build Your Health Beyond the Fork

When it comes to improving health and wellness, the first thing most people think to change is diet.  Eating clean, whole, nutrient dense foods is essential to a healthy body, however, it is not the only thing to consider.  Primary food goes beyond the plate, nurturing us on a deeper level.  These include things like relationships, career, physical activity, spirituality, etc.  These are the elements or activities that bring fulfillment, wholeness, and balance to a person’s life.  You can eat all the broccoli on the farm, but if you are unfulfilled, over worked, and stressed beyond belief, you are not on track to live a long and healthy life. To understand primary foods is to understand that all aspects of an individual’s needs including psychological, physical and social are to be taken into account and seen as a whole.

More Than Food– As children, we were too busy playing outside with friends, or riding our bike to bother with food. We were bummed when we heard our parents calling us in for dinner.  How about that feeling when you first fall in love? New couples are far more interested in each other than in eating.  Consider the successful entrepreneurs who are fueled by their work. They are pursuing their dreams, doing the things they are passionate about, and often forget to break for lunch. The excitement and rapture of daily life can feed us differently and more holistically than any food.

Fill or Deflate– We all have certain things in life that give us energy and gusto. Conversely, there are things or activities that suck the life out of us. For example, an extrovert will come home from a cocktail party, or professional business mixer feeling energized.  He or she will be too wired to go straight to bed.  An introvert will come home from that same event exhausted and depleted.  It is helpful if we discover what fuels us, and what drains us. I think of it kind of like a cup. The stresses of life, challenging relationships, difficult bosses or customers can drain our cup. Even fun parties or public speaking will zap If we are completely depleted, we have nothing left to give to loved ones. We find ourselves quick to anger, sporting a bit of a short fuse. We feel out of balance which can look or feel different for each individual. It could feel like any of the following: anxiety, depression or melancholy, frustration , joylessness, overwhelm, boredom, over-tired, uninspired, exasperated, or even anger.

When this happens, chances are our cup is dangerously low, and needs filling. Fill it with some of these primary foods that may be lacking in your life. The ones that make you feel more alive.  The stuff that makes your heart sing, gives you a sense of peace and tranquility, restores your soul or inner being. Here are some examples.

Physical activity– Maybe you’re a runner or cyclist. Maybe you love nature walks and hikes. Yes, it’s true a runners’ high is addicting, but even when your working up a vigorous sweat, exorcise can be calming. It relieves stress, and even sparks creativity. I do my best work on the trails. This is where I come up with great ideas for my business. Perhaps you have a love for sailing, racquetball, tennis, horse back riding, you fill in the blank. Schedule time for it. Recognize it as a priority for your health. And not just physical health. I’m a much more patient and peaceful wife and mom if I’d had my run.  I stopped here to take a pic of this trail I like to run.  The scenery is so beautiful and peaceful.  It’s the best medicine for stress, boredom, anxiety, or even sadness.  I feel so invigorated and accomplished when I’m done.                              

Career- Do what you love. If you work full-time and take let’s say a 2 week vacation per year, you are spending 2000 hours/year at work.  Over 50 years that’s 100,000 hours. I will never understand why people are willing to waste so much of their precious time on earth in a job that makes them miserable. The money isn’t worth it in the long run. You know the saying: “if you do what you love, you’ll never work a day in your life.” If its not possible to follow your dreams to do something you are truly passionate about at this specific moment in your life, what steps can you take to make that a reality down the road? What can you do to make the most out of your present work environment? What are your options? Is it a transfer to another department, office, or region?  Could you ask for special projects utilizing your gifts and talents, allowing you to feel successful, creative, fulfilled? Can you create a work space environment that makes you feel comfortable, creative, happy, and productive with the use of candles, pictures, essential oils, music, nice office furniture, etc. Maybe it comes down to just being organized.  If my home office is in disarray, I am not only distracted and unproductive, but I feel a bit anxious.  I prefer to be organized and free of clutter.

Spirituality- Everyone at some time in their life ask the age old question. What’s the meaning of life? Or what’s my purpose in life? We all have the capacity for a spiritual connection. I think we are instinctively born with the desire to worship, but don’t always know how or where to direct that worship. We have an innate desire for intimacy and connectivity to something much bigger than ourselves. Many people ponder the question, are we all here by chance? Was it some sudden bang and all intelligent life began? Was it by intelligent design? To quote Frances Chan, “How is it that we are all standing on this giant ball spinning at 1000 miles an hour, and think that’s normal?” To me, there is nothing normal about that. Was it just an accident? Having a spiritual practice, and a belief system is said to add years to your life. There was a study done on longevity where they identified 4 or 5 blue zones around the world. These are where people are thriving and living to 100 and older with strength and vigor. They identified 9 diet and lifestyle practices, one of them is having a spiritual practice. For more info you can google Dan Buettner blue zones. So what is YOUR source of hope and strength? What’s the meaning of YOUR life?   If you are searching for truth, I highly recommend this powerful video: https://www.juststopandthink.com/francis-chan-video-just-stop-think-the-movie/  

Relationships- Whether intimate or not, relationships have a deep impact on our health & happiness. They can make or break us in a sense. Family, friends, coworkers, spouses/lovers. We are wired for relationships. We were not meant to do this life alone. Are your loved ones building you up, or tearing you down? Do they support you, or do they chastise you? Do you have someone in your life that you can experience true uncensored intimacy with? Do you have special relationships with people you fully trust? Do you have special relationships with people you can share your triumphs and tragedies with? If so, do you value them, building into them, making time for them, or do you take them for granted? Did you know it’s been said that the act of hugging releases certain hormones that actually benefit your health?  Maybe you can add a hug to that apple a day.

Creativity- I always thought I wasn’t creative because I can’t draw. I always stunk at arts and crafts. I am no Martha Stewart. I’d go broke as an interior designer very quickly. Later I realized that I love to cook.  It is so much fun creating new and different things in the kitchen. It’s art you get to eat.  There are many different creative outlets for people to explore.  For some of my clients, having the time and opportunity to do the things they love like quilting, painting, or writing is key for them to maintain a sense of wholeness.  It’s healthy…like laughter, or a hug. Think about some of the ways you like to be creative. Do you make time for those things?

Finances- Do you feel that your finances are in order? Do you have a long term financial goal, and are you on track to meet that goal? Have you taken a close look at your budget, and your monthly spending? Do you need to bring in additional income somehow? Do you need to cut back somewhere? Do you need to redefine some of your wants vs. needs? I believe that the number one stressor in marriage is finances. And we all know how stress affects our bodies and our health. It’s absolute poison. Consult with a financial advisor if necessary. Do it for your health!

Conclusion: The life we lead is led by a series of choices. Good or bad. Choices every day, and ones we have to life with, until we choose to make another choice to change it.   The great success of my program is when clients understand that they are empowered. Empowered to choose. Whether it’s in their personal life, professional life, or how they will treat their body, they have the power to take their lives and their health into their own hands.

I am currently reading a fascinating book entitled, Switch on Your Brain, by Dr. Caroline Leaf. I want to quote this section for you called “You Have the Power to Change.”

“Your patterns of genetic experience don’t determine what you are; you do.  How you live, the cultural environment you live in, whatever you immerse yourself in, your beliefs and the beliefs of those around you, how you interact with those people, your faith and how you grow it, what you expose yourself to-all of these lead to differences in the way you focus your attention and have a direct effect on how your proteins are synthesized, how your enzymes act, and how your neurochemicals work together.  If you don’t believe you have the power to change your thoughts and control your choices, you are not going to do it.”

So all this to say- you have the power to choose how you will live your life, what you will stand up for, and what or who you will make time for.

For more support, contact me for a free 50-minute health consultation.

My Thrive Program is designed to support busy moms and professionals that struggle to find the time to nurture their mind, body and spirit, let alone prepare nutritious and delicious meals for themselves and their family.  As a Health Coach, my mission is to help my clients make incremental lifestyle changes that will last. I help them to not simply survive, but to thrive!

  Laurel Marshall

Integrative Nutrition Health Coach & A.C.E. Certified Personal Trainer

HealthCoachLaurel@gmail.com

(805) 296-5825