#i promise im gonna answer & reply 2 stuff when i get off work but 4 now here's This

[diicktective]

npc pic.rew - a - go - go !

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: May 15th Part 1

It’s been longer than usual since our last answer session, so I’m answering a ton of questions today! It’s so big I split it into two parts. Thank you for the patience on getting a response to these.

Thanks for reaching out to us with your questions and kind words ^^!

Sorry if this has been asked before or isn't something you can say but is there anyway for Cove to confess in step 4? I wanted him to confess in step 3 and followed all the steps to make him do it but ended up texting my family instead of Cove at the end.

Yeah, Cove can confess in Step 4!

Hello! I heard that Cove is on the spectrum, albeit undiagnosed. As someone who is ND, this makes me UNBELIEVABLY happy. I literally was brought to tears! Thank you for that!

Out of curiosity, will Cove be diagnosed in Step 4? I have a strong feeling y’all won’t make it a HUGE deal/make it out to be negative, so I’m not worried about that whatsoever! I’m just curious just he’ll off handedly mention it? Or will it just not be touched upon at all (which is ok!)?

Either way is ok, I’m just curious!

I’m happy it made you happy! Admittedly, Cove simply being someone with autism that grew up not being diagnosed was something I included for myself. I didn’t really think anyone would notice or ask about it, aha. But players did start to have questions about his traits, so I started to talk about it outside of the game. It’s great to see it get such a positive response and now I do feel like having it be a non-topic may have been the wrong choice and bringing it up would’ve been good in terms of having positive representation for that. I don’t know if I’ll find a way to mention it in Step 4 now, with how far along the game is, but I am at least thinking about it when originally it wasn’t something I really even considered.

Hey!  Just wanted to say thank you for Our Life.  It's been a bright spot and a needed escape in what's otherwise been a crummy year.  I know you just did a Q&A post but I figured I'd ask anyway.  Was just curious about Step 4.  Will it be similar to the other Steps in that it consists of several different moments or will it just be one long sequence?

Step 4 is shorter than the prior Steps because it’s just an epilogue rather than a full arc of a story. It’ll consist of scenes that all happen in a set row one after the other. There won’t be a collection of Moments to choose from. But it’ll still be very sweet and fun.

¡hola!, you see, first I want to say that I love Our Life! (°◡°♡) and I have 2 important questions, would Cove cry watching titanic? and what is the saddest part according to him? (sorry for my english) 

Titanic would make him cry. He’d probably think the parts showing people who aren’t able to make it to the life boats/are choosing to stay and go down with the ship were the saddest.

Hello, I wanted to ask how much you earn with creating games? Like is it possible to make a living? Thank you >< <3 

How much I earn varies a lot month to month based on Steam sales, Patreon backers, and how many projects are in full production at the time. It’s also hard to say how much I make historically, since that also changes dramatically year by year. But I do earn enough to work on these games full time! I really appreciate all the support that allows me to do that.

Hey!! I was wondering for the 18+ Our Life moment, will there be an emphasis on safety/comfort for all involved? I feel like there  would be just going off of what the rest of the game is like, but I wanted to ask 

Yes! Cove is a nervous boy himself and also super cautious about doing anything the MC doesn’t like, so clear consent from both is absolutely needed for anything to happen. It’s a conversational sexy times Moment with stops/starts so the two can talk about how they’re feeling, rather than a heat of the moment just going for it kind of thing.

Hey!! I was wondering how long the wedding dlc would be? Will it be broken up into moments, or just one big event? 

It’s one long series of scenes all in a row rather than a collection of Moments to pick from. It’s the shortest and the least expensive of all the DLCs. It’s not super crucial to get and those who aren’t into big weddings can totally skip it without worry.

HELLO AMAZING DEVS 👋 i am hopelessly in love with the worst guy ever (jeremy king) and because of this i have a really stupid question: does he really hate people who are nice to him? TvT he’s too cute to be mean to istg it’s a miracle JB held the urge to be consistently nice to him bc just look at his FACE he is so cute! thank you for jeremy’s route it’s so lovely (and awful bc he’s scum 11/10) it gave me so much laughs LMAO i hope you guys have a good day!! 

Haha, thank you. He doesn’t hate them but he’s certainly not pleased with them. Jeremy is either uncomfortable with or annoyed by people being sweet on him, depending on how they approach it. He’s far more comfortable with jerkiness. It lets him relax and he can be himself without it being a problem, since he’s also a jerk. He feels a level of guilt being such a little punk to kind people, not enough to be a better person but still.

Has Cove dated or been interested in someone other than MC? 

Nope! He stays single over the course of the game if he’s not with the MC.

Is Step 4 more mature? Or it's gonna be set in similar atmosphere as Step 3? 

Step 4 is a similar atmosphere as Step 3. Though, it’s actually kind of less mature-topic heavy than Step 3 since it’s just a ‘hey, let’s check in on the gang to see what they’re up to’ style epilogue rather than a story arc with serious issues.

will there be new music for now and forever?? or will the old our life music be reused? 

It’s gonna be a brand new soundtrack. We’ll be opening up a job position for that soon.

Hi, is it okay if we use the assets in Our Life (like the sprites) for fanworks or fan content content, like edits? 

Sure! Just as long as you don’t use the assets made by those artists to make money.

Quick clarification on Step 3 choices: I hope I didn't come off rude (because I LOVE the game, really!!), I was just curious because the intro threw me off at times. For example, you could choose how you felt about Elizabeth in Step 2 (Dinner), but during the Step 3 intro, it says that you got closer to Liz and I didn't get a choice in it. 

For the example, it can’t be helped that you’re closer to Liz in Step 3 than you were in Step 2 because she’s inherently closer to the MC regardless of whether you liked her or not in Step 2. Her feelings are out of your control and the game isn’t so dramatic that you can push her affection away and not let her bond with you, haha. But ‘being closer’ can still be relative. For some people maybe that means you’re best buds now and for others it might just mean you’re not fighting all the time any more. If there’s other parts you want to mention, feel free to let us know.

Did the illustrator for Our Life change? 

We have many OL artists! The main artists who set the game’s style haven’t changed, but there’s multiple other artists who help finish assets.

So Miranda's type is confident and outgoing, huh? So...does that mean Terri's her type?? 👀 

Haha, sorry for the late reply on this. As you might’ve seen in our post yesterday- yeah that is her type.

Hey! First, I just want to say I've really enjoyed how detailed OL got with gender identity and sexuality and how respectful the topics were handled! It's been so wonderful to play since the experiences could be close to my own (I'd be lying if I said I didn't tear up at parts). Second, I was wondering, would future games explore the topic of polyamory? I'd love to see more visual novels allow room for that and I saw you've explored the topic before.

Keep up the amazing work! ♡

Thank you! We do want to include polyamory in at least some of our future projects. Floret Bond, which might be what you’re referring to when mentioning how we’ve explored the topic before, is on hold unfortunately. So right now I’m not sure when something might release or what will be the first game of ours to come out with poly relationships (we might do something else before FB is done). We’ll have see how things ends up coming together.

Hey um. I feel like im not allowed to ask this on the private discord cuz people will yell at me but why is there so much focus on OL2 and not finishing OL1 stuff? I like the new people but i kind of want to finish cove's story and get derek and baxter stuff first. didn't people pay for it? 

I’m sorry, I don’t understand entirely what’s making that situation a concern. There’s a channel in the discord for critique where no one is allowed to comment back. People can voice things they’re worried about without any way for others to push back on it. And the two teams working on the OL games are different. We try to post pretty often about how we’re hiring brand new people to start on Our Life: Now & Forever. The OL1 team is all still working on OL1 like normal. There’s only more updates on the Patreon for OL2 because the expansions to the first game are mostly script-based at this point while OL2 is just starting to get all its art, which means there’s a lot more to show off as previews.

Also, there was a Kickstarter for the first Our Life, if that’s what you mean by people paying for it. But one of the stretch goals was to start Our Life 2 early, before fully completing Our Life 1, so that the new game could be out sooner. It wouldn’t make sense to stop doing OL2 work because that would be going against what backers were promised. Maybe you didn’t get the full story before and hopefully this clears it up!

Hello! I know it's up to every player but.. What is your recommendation for playing order? Did you ever had any timeline  events planned? 

I didn’t make the events with a planned timeline. The events got made simply as I had ideas for them and then I just kind of organized them from left to right on the screen in an order to space out more dramatic ones between more lighthearted ones. Any order the player wants to go with is totally valid!

Hi! It's Step 4 a paid dlc or update? And how long it's planned to be? Ps. Love the game! 

The Step 4 epilogue is free! The Cove Wedding DLC does cost money, though. Those are planned to be shorter than the usual Steps/DLCs.

Will we have options for what sort of job the MC might have by the time step 4 takes place? 

Yeah, you can. It’s not super exact or detailed, but there are options about it.

Is there a pandemic in Our Life world, or is it just in a better timeline with no pestilence? 

Our Life is pandemic-free! That didn’t exist when we began working on the project and it’s not something we’d like to feature in this story now that it has unfortunately come along, aha.

Hi, you said that you can play tic-tac-toe or hangman with Cove in Boating if you're sick/scared but I keep getting tic-tac-toe. Am I doing something wrong?

After being sick/scared you have to continue to be upset/unwell. If you calm down and decide to just chill you’ll end up playing tic-tac-toe.

Hi, GB Patch! Since Lee was initially commissioned to only appear in two Steps does this mean she won't appear in the Wedding DLC? I really like her character so it'll be a little weird to not have our cousin at our wedding, aha.

She is gonna be in Step 4/the wedding DLC after all! We’re still working with her creator to make sure it fits with what they wanted.

Is Sunset Bird based on a real place? Asking for a friend, not trying to move there or anything. 👀

It’s based on small beach towns in So-Cal, but not one specific town you could go see in real life, I’m afraid. It’d be nice if it was real, though.

—– —– —– —–

We released a new FAQ! It answers common questions and we’ll keep adding more to it. Please check there before sending an ask. FAQ   Also, if you prefer to just see the main posts without all the asks/reblogs, feel free to follow our side account instead: GB Patch Updates Blog

[iwaisuke]

confessions; but not remembering it

ft. kita shinsuke, sakusa kiyoomi x sick fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

a/n: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while and then i rushed bc i was getting tired 🙃 also. sakusa's is a little ooc. sorry ab that

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» the clean yet musty smell of rain filled the gym as the boys practiced. it was a surprisingly humid and rainy spring day today here in the country side of hyogo

» "achoo" you had been sneezing and coughing all day. you also had a terrible headache but took some medicine to see if it would help. the spring allergies really getting to you

» you didnt reay have the time to be worrying about yourself. As a 2nd year manager of the inarizaki team, (recommend by suna) and the boys working so hard practicing for nationals there was no way you'd let this little cold get in the way. you had to work just as hard as everyone else!

» "hold on, im about to hang up your jerseys to dry"

» "i got you guys some fresh towels!"

» "i can run and grab that coach. im headed that way anyways"

» the coach called for a short break to rest up for a bit. everyone was sore and exhausted from practicing every day. "here. i filled your water bottles up!" handing them to all the boys. "y/n you're all wet" akagi sounded concerned.

» "hm? oh its alright. I'll dry off in a minute. i took the shortcut to the drinking fountain to refill your waterbottles instead of taking the long way" you nonchalantly said. "so you ran through the rain like an idiot?" suna threw a clean towel over your damp hair and ruffled it. "suna!! stop!! you're gonna ruin my hair"

» "like i said. its alright" you reassured the boys.

» kita, on the other hand had noticed your fatigue. although he wasnt as perceptive on peoples feeling and thoughts as well as others, he could easily pick up signs like yours. he admired you dearly for how hard you always work for the team. how you willingly did anything to make them smile. how you always put others first before yours. needless to say, he had a bit of a crush on you.

» "l/n san. i think you should take a break too. there's no need for you to be running around for us while we're resting" kita assured you. "i still have a few things left on my list to do.. but afterwards I'll take a break!" kita let out a sigh. you were stubborn sometimes and kita knew you were the kind of person to not stop until you're finished.

» "I'll be right back. i gotta grab the laundry"

» making an excuse to leave, your heart was beating fast. you knew kita's words were the kind he'd say to anyone, but it made your heart feel fuzzy when he'd look out for you.

» the stone cold captain who you thought he was, actually was so kind. he was just a little awkward like you, and a little blunt with what he said sometimes. but you learned the great qualities he carries and how much he actually cares about others well being. he was a hard worker and you couldnt help but absentmindedly fall for the captain.

» running up the stairs to the second floor of the gym, you felt a shift in your step. head becoming dizzier than it was just 5 minutes ago. legs trembling, you started falling before feeling a presence behind.

» kita's arm wrapped around your waist, supporting you in efforts to not letting you fall over. "i told you to rest l/n san" kita said sternly. "you wont benefit anyone if you keep overworking like this."

» you knew kita was right, but you really didnt want to rest knowing you'll be letting the team down by not working hard.

» "i promise I'll rest as soon as im done with this one thing" pleading with kita. he let out a sigh, knowing you really wouldnt until you did finish so he allowed you to do so.

» finishing grabbing all of the dry jerseys and bringing them downstairs to pass out to everyone, you didnt really notice atsumu and osamu spiking volleyballs at each other until aran yelled

» "y/n! watch out!" honestly, you were too tired to move out of the way so you figured, it do be like that sometimes, and allowed the ball to hit you.

» or... so you had planned the ball to hit you.

» kita stood in front, blocking the impact of the spike that you had prepared yourself for. there was agitation in kita's eyes. more than you usually noticed when then twins were miss behaving. concern washing over, he looked you straight in the eyes

» "... is there something wrong kita san?" lifting up his hand to your forehead, he let out a sigh. "why didnt you tell me earlier you had a fever", then walking over to the coach meanwhile atsumu and osamu come over to apologise for being reckless.

» "get your stuff. we're going home" kita said bluntly.

» "huh? but practice is-"

» "please l/n san. for me"

» kita would only take yes for an answer this time. no if's ands or buts. so here you were, walking home with kita. only the sound of raindrops hitting your shared umbrella being heard.

» muscles starting to ache a little more and your legs becoming more tired than they were when you left the gym, you began to walk a little slower every step

» "get on my back l/n" "its ok kita san, i can walk. its already enough that you're walking me home" "i didnt ask if you wanted to. im telling you to"

» you couldnt tell if it was the fever that made your face warmer or if it was kita's words. nonetheless, you got on kita's back. he was a lot stronger than he looked and you couldnt help but stifen at being so close to your own crush like this.

» "relax. I'll make sure you get home." he reassured. you leaned into his back, warmth seeping in, your eyes began to feel heavy.

» "kita san" "yes?" "thank you for always watching out for me"

» a comfortable silence was met as the sound of rain filled your ears.

» "kita san" "hm?" "did you know..." your voice softened "i like you a lot kita san"

» did he hear you correctly? if he wasnt paying attention he wouldve missed what you had said, being drowed out through the pitter patter of water. now his heart thumping louder than ever before.

» "l/n san-" he was about to go on but was met with the gentle rise and fall of your chest and the soft snores of you on his back, knocked out from exertion. kita let out a light chuckle, finally relieved you were resting.

» you had missed the next day of school, but when you came back the whole volleyball team bombarded you with love.

» "WE'RE A FAILURE TO NOT NOTICE YOU FEELING SICK" atsumu cried. "how could we let our one and only precious manager get ill for taking care of us" akagi, clearly dissapointed in himself. "please let us know when we can take care of you too y/n" aran said.

» "its no big deal. really!" waving your hands in defense. "it was just a small cold. but i do have a question though"

» all the boys gathered around to hear what you had to say

» "how did i get home?? i really dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu"

» it shocked the guys honestly. you genuinely didnt remember a single thing due to your fever. "wait? you don't remember kita taking you home?" suna replied, your face becoming red. "k-kita san took me home-?" "yah. he left in the middle of practice to do so" osamu added.

» immediately, you got up to find the captain that apparently took you home the other day. he was in the storage closet cleaning and grabbing the equipment for todays practice.

» "kita san" "oh. l/n. glad you're feeling better" his smile brightened the musty closet. "about that, im sorry for troubling you and having you take me home the other day. i honestly dont remember what happened after i almost got hit by atsumu. my mind was really fuzzy that day, but im truly thankful for you going out of your way for me. it really means a lot"

» kita was dumbfounded. you really dont remember? "no need to apologize l/n. it was my responsibility as a captain. and afterall, what good would i be if i couldnt even take care of the person who means the most to me"

» your heart raced. 'person who means the most to me' ? cheeks blushing a rosy pink, you were internally thanking the musty store room from being dim.

» with arms full of equipment, kita walked by you and stopped.

» "by the way l/n san. did you know?"

» ears perking up at the vague yet familiar line

» "i like you a lot too l/n san"

» now we all know sakusa HATES germs and for the past week and a half, he's been telling you to keep up with washing your hands, wearing a mask at all times even when you eat omi it doesnt work like that. pls especially since you are prone to getting sick easily no matter how hygenic you are. your immune system just hated you. PERIODT

» you remembered sakusa scolding you for running out of hand sanitizer and then the next day you were out of commission. bed ridden with laryngitis, cough, slight fever, the whole works. it was like your body was making fun of you or something

» you texted komori, asking him to take notes in class for you and relay homework information while you were at home resting up. but there was one request you had and made komori PROMISE.

» DO NOT TELL SAKUSA YOU GOT SICK

» "he's probably gonna notice your absence y/n. he'll find out about it either way"

» "well if you dont tell him then he wont know. its not like he even cares about where i am like that"

» "thats what you might think. but i know he's gonna say something i can garuntee it"

» the next day at school, sakusa did notice your presence missing. it was quieter not having a 3rd person in the group of friends. not having you around to talk to him when komori was gone.

» pulling out his phone to text you, he asked where you were that day.

» "on a family trip :D !!! forgot to tell you, but I'll tell you all about it when i come back!" you wrote, attaching an old selfie of a different trip you went on to make it more believable.

» you had hoped this silly cold would get better in a day, but soon that day turned into 2 and then 3 and then 4... you pretty much missed the whole week of school at that point

» Friday rolled around and komori was on his phone all day. sakusa noticed his cousin fidget in his chair more than usual and it irked him to see him like that

» "what's with you today?" one eye raised, sakusa finally asked. "uhhh nothing really" komori wasnt very good at keeping secrets lets just start off with that, but he was trying his best.

» "well clearly somethings wrong. you're fidgeting." "well haven't you noticed somethings been different all week?" komori hinted

» sakusa sat there in thought. nothing's been different? he ate the same breakfast he usually does every morning. all his studies have been well. there were no tests this week so there was no reason to be anxious like komori was and even if there was, he would've done well anyways.

» "just tell me what it is." sakusa was starting to get annoyed. "y/n..." komori started. "y/n?" "do you know where she's been this week?"

» did you not tell komori about your family trip? you usually told komori everything, but then again you didn't tell him either until he asked you about it.

» "she said shes on a trip?" he nonchalantly said. komori's eyes started watering. "A TRIP TO THE HOSPITAL THATS WHAT IT IS" he blurted out. komori didnt mean to let it slip , he was just so worried about your well being.

» "hospital?? what are you talking about. did she get injured on her trip?" "no omi. shes been sick all week and her mom just texted me saying she went to the hospital today because shes had a fever for 3 days straight. there is no family trip"

» sakusa's heart shattered. you were sick and didnt even tell him?

» before both he and komori knew it, his legs were running faster to get to the hospital than he had ever imagined he could ever run.

» and there you were. fast asleep in a bed with an IV drip. your face flushed, forehead sweaty and shallow breaths escaping your chapped lips. you were a hot mess but sakusa didnt care. stepping to your bedside to greet your mother she explained to him that she had to go to work and asked if he could watch over you until she gets back.

» sakusa said yes without even hearing the whole thing. his heart and mind saying yes to whatever it took to get you to feel better.

» gosh how he hated hospitals, but what he hated even more was the fact that you were in the hospital and he didnt even know.

» the doctor came in for their evening round and ensured sakusa that you were indeed getting better! your fever had broken not too long ago and your body was working extra hard to heal itself up!

» "is there anything i can do to help?" sakusa asked. he felt helpless in this situation just watching your face distort in uncomfort every now and then, and coughing your lungs out.

» patting sakusa's shoulder, the doctor told him that just being here for you is enough. "you gotta be a strong boyfriend for her alright son? she'll be able to go home tomorrow first thing in the morning if her fever doesnt come back"

» sakusa slumped in his chair at your bedside, the doctors words ringing through his head. 'boyfriend huh?' he thought to himself. "if i was her boyfriend..." he whispered to himself, "i would be a failure for not even knowing my girl was sick..."

» to kiyoomi, you were beautiful. even now in this sad state you were in. deep down he locked these growing feelings he had for you inside of him because he always felt like you were a better match with someone else and after this stunt you pulled of lying to him about going on a family trip, it only made him feel worse.

» it was now night time and you finally began to stir in your sleep, the fever finally gone. sakusa reached out to move some hair that was stuck to your face, fingers tracing the outline of your jaw. your eyes slowly opened and met with his dark orbs.

» "y/n?" "saku- wait this is just a dream. omi wouldn't be here. he hates hospitals" you let out a forced laugh and then a sigh through your sore throat.

» you reached out to sakusa's hands that were resting on the side of your bed. "omi would never let me hold his hand because he'd say im passing germs to him so hopefully dream omi wont be the same" you were aimlessly talking to yourself, not even realizing that this really wasnt a dream.

» he squeezed your hand in return. hoping that you wouldnt let go any time soon. a funny smile appeared on your face just at the thought of him. "even if you're stupid for not realizing how much i like you... i cant wait to see you again omi" you whispered before falling asleep again.

» sakusa didnt know what to do. he sat there frozen in his chair. it was his first time hearing you call him omi. heck. you literally just confessed to the boy. his brain was running wild. groaning in distress he let go of your hand to step out for a breath of fresh air now that you were back asleep.

» it was 5am and your mother came back to the hospital and thanked sakusa for staying by your side. He left in a hurry to make sure you didnt see him there.

» Monday rolled around and sakusa was waiting outside of the school gates for you. he had planned on asking you about your "trip"

» "good morning sakusa!!" your bright and cheery voice rang through his ears. honestly he was trembling inside. the memory of you confessing to him still fresh in his mind.

» "how was your trip?" you stopped dead in your tracks. "haha... it was good !! sorry i forgot to get you a souvenir" you were trying to play it cool but sakusa could tell you were forcing yourself. "i wouldnt want a souvenir from where you came from so its fine" sakusa's words threw you off. "i - im not sure im understanding what you're saying sakusa?"

» you felt a tug on your hand. "dont you mean omi?" his voice husky as he whispered into your ear. cheeks flushed, your brain felt like it short circuted. you've always tried your hardest to not let it slip that you want to call him omi since he hated when people called him that.

» sakusa smirked at your cute reaction he got out of you. letting go of your hand he began to walk into the school leaving you at the gate dumbfounded. "and by the way. you're just as stupid for not realizing how long ive liked you too"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

thank you for your order! enjoy~!

[yanderebtsstorytime]

Can I please request yandere jin where he is like a nerd at school and nobody really notices him until the reader does, so he become real clingy with the reader🥴🤙

The Nerd And His Queen

HighSchool was always hard. Weather it was from the homework, your classes, or the social standing you’re put in, it’s hard. That was no different for Jin, a young man who was just trying to get by with everyone passing his way not realizing he was a class mate.

And that was no difference for (Y/n), a young girl whom everyone seemed to know and like. They were so different, and never would have really even been thought to cross paths. But here they were sitting together in chemistry.

“You’re Seokjin, right?,” She ask with a soft smile. He looks over to her and his eyes are big for a second, before he removes his pencil from his mouth.

“Uh! Um yeah, that’s me,” He says and she smile nodding, “Want to be partners for the projects?,” She ask and he nods, “Yeah...if you really want to,” He says offer a slight smile. “Okay! Here, here’s my number, class is almost over so we should hangout after school and get started,” She says writing her number on his note book.

Just then the bell rings, and she stands putting her backpack on, “Remember, message me and we’ll start today!,” She says with a smile before she walks out of the class. Jin just sits there for a second looking at the notebook before, he packs his things up and leaves.

-

-

-

‘What if it’s a trap... is she’s gonna make a joke out of me’ he thinks as he sits on his bed having just gotten out of the shower. The number was already typed into his phone, but he wasn’t sure he should send a message.

“Fuck it,” He says out load as he starts to type out his message. He sends it without looking, and within sends of his sending it there’s a ding, telling him someone has replied.

(Y/n)- JIN, I hope you don’t mind if I call you that. BUT JIN YOU FINALLY MESSAGED ME, I didn’t take you for a busy guy after school. What did you do after school?

Jin- Sure, I don’t mind. I work at my dads company after school, so I don’t really have time for after school stuff on the weekdays, except Friday.

(Y/n)- Ah okay, that’s pretty cool! So would you be okay to hangout and work on the project this Friday then?

Jin- Yeah that’s okay.

(Y/n)- Okay, hey can I get a picture of you for your contact photo?

Jin- um sure, one sec

He moves quickly from his bed to throw on a hoobie to cover up his bare chest before he takes a deep breath, and takes a pose snapping a few pictures.

Jin- Here you go

He watches the three small dots on the screen tell him you’re typing. His heart starts to pick up pace a little as he waits, “Why am I so worried,” He ask before his phone dings.

(Y/n)- Oh~ that hoodie looks comfy. Thank you so much here’s one for me. I’ll leave you alone for the night. See you in class tomorrow, and sweet dreams!

-Image attached

Jin looked down at the photo of her and he smiles slightly at seeing the small grey bags under her eyes. “She must have taken off some makeup, she normally looks so well rested,” He says as he puts it as her ID photo.

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-

-

“Jin, what is this?,” She ask as she leans over and points at a question on her paper, “It’s a chemical imbalance,” He says, “Yeah, but why... everything looks fine,” She says and he chuckles, “No, here watch,” He says as he starts to explain the answer, and show her how to figure everything out.

“How are you this smart man,” She says with a grumpy face, “I thought chemistry was supposed to be easy!,” She says, “It’s okay, not everyone understands it,” He says with a smile, “Guess that means you’re not like everyone then,” She says and his face turns red for a second causing her to giggle.

“Want to hangout after school today and finish the project? That is if you have time,” She ask, and he nods, “Yeah, we can go to my house after school if that’s okay,” He says and she nods.

-

-

-

“Let’s go there, I’m a bit hungry, aren’t you?,” She ask as her and Jin walk side by side down the street away from the school yard, “Yeah, I could go for a bite,” He says and they start their walk towards the small café just insight of the school.

Once they get their they make their wa towards the front, “Hi could I get one Vanilla bean Frappe, with two shots of hazelnut, and a chocolate drizzle. As well as a chocolate muffin, and a chicken sandwich. Oh and whatever he wants,” She says stepping aside allowing Jin to make his order while she looked for her wallet in her backpack. “Hi um could I get a vanilla ice coffee with a caramel drizzle, and um, a chicken sandwich as well,” He says and the cashier nods.

“That’ll be 17.93$ please,” The cashier says, and (Y/n) nods stepping forward handing the cashier her card. “(Y/n) go ahead and find a seat I’ll wait for our stuff to be done, and then bring it over,” Jin says and she nods stepping away from the counter to find a stop in the corner away from everyone.

Jin watches her with soft eyes, and as she seems to stop paying attention to those around her her smile drops. Her once happy, bright face seems to disappear, only to be replaced with a tired and sad look. Jin looks at her with a sad face before he grabs their stuff and walks over to the table. This is has happened a few times since they’ve hung out.

Upon hearing him walk towards her, her face returns to its normal self all bright and happy. “Hey, you’re back!,” She says all up beat, “Yeah... hey can I ask you something,” He ask sitting down across from her. “Sure, what’s up?,” She ask, “Well I don’t know if it’s okay, I mean we’ve only been talking for about 4 weeks now but... are you okay?,” He ask.

“What?,” She ask looking a little amazed, “Are you okay, I’ve spotted you a few times just... you sometimes just look so tired, so sad...,” He says trailing off a little. Her face drops at hearing him, before she grabs her stuff off the tray and starts to eat her muffin.

“Do you remember elementary school, and some of early middle school?,” She says and he raises any eyebrow, “Um yeah, why?,” He ask, “You and your friends were so cool, it was always the 7 of you that everyone wanted to be like, that I wanted to be like... you guys were just... amazing. I moved here in the 3rd grade, and no one really noticed me, but I knew everyone. I tired to make friends, but no one really wanted to know me. Well no except you... I don’t even know if you remember,” She says with a smile as she shakes her head.

“You were one of the first people to ask me to play with you and your friends at recess. And then everyone just started to like me, everyone wanted to be near me. We hit middle school, and all of your friends moved away. It was just you and me, but you slowly slipped away and for the next few years, and everyone chose me over you,” She says shaking her head, “It was so weird how nice everyone was...when before no one saw me. I’ve heard so many people talk about me behind my back, and then play nice when I’m in front of them,” She says before she sighs and leans back.

“I just don’t understand how you did it. How you managed with all those people that were so nice to you, but so mean when you weren’t around... it just makes me so tired... I’m just so tired of everyone that smiles at me, and that I have to smile back at,”She finishes, and laying her head on the table closing her eyes. Jin looks down at her and then slowly lays his head on the table as well. 

“You know that’s why people stopped liking me. I didn’t smile back at them when they smiled at me,” He says and she opens her eyes, “After all my friends left I didn’t feel well. I could manage to smile, it took less then a month of them being gone for my parents to take me to the doctor, and for them to put me on something in order to help with my depression,” He says as both of them sit up.

“I’m so sorry,” She says, “It’s okay, it was hard at first but after awhile I understood that somethings happen and that you can’t change them. Plus all of us still keep in contact and meet up ever chance we get,” He adds and she smiles nodding, “That’s good... hey, you aren’t gonna tell anyone about how I feel, right?,” She asks, “Why?,” He ask, “My parents go to extreme with stuff like this... my brother said he was sad once and my parents put him in a mental hospital,” She says and he nods.

“Yeah I promise to keep it a secret, as long as you tell me when you feel low,” He says and she smiles nodding, “Will do,” She says. After that they just seemed to talk about everything while they ate. A new relationship started to grow, and the more they talked the stronger that relationship became. They now understood they had someone who they could talk to, someone they could trust.

-

-

-

“(Y/n),” The familiar voice says causing the girl to turn and smile at the person it belonged to, “Good morning Jin, how’d you sleep,” She ask and he nods, “Good, and you?,” He ask, “Amazing, come on we can walk to chemistry together!,” She says and he nods allowing her to take his arm as they walk down the hall.

A few people stop and stare at the 2 unsure of what was going on, but they paid them no mind as they talked about whatever came to mind while they walked. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to ask. My family is headed out of town this weekend to go to a lake house. I didn’t want to go this year, so I was thinking you could come over and we cold chill out and watching some movie,” She says and Jin’s face turn a bit red before he nods.

-

-

-

(Y/n) swings the door open happily and welcomes Jin into her home, “Hey im so happy you could come. Come on in,” She says and he walks into the house holding his bag closely. “Wow your house is really nice,” He says as she lead him upstairs towards her room to his stuff there for now. “Yeah, my dad designed it,” She says as she opens up her bedroom door to reveal a large aesthic room with the main color being (F/c) being everywhere.

“Just put your stuff anywhere, I’m gonna go grab some stuff so us to eat and drink while we watch movies, and stuff,” She states before rushing out of the room off somewhere. Jin places his bag down, and starts to look around. He goes for the dresser first, and very quietly pulls open the top drawer examining the contents inside.

He had been in the room 24 times now, but this was the first time (Y/n) had been awake and knew he was in here. It made him feel tingly inside at the thought of being caught looking into his (Y/n)’ underwear drawer but he enjoyed seeing the colors she had clean, and sometimes got to see new pairs she had bought that exact day. 

He picks up his favorite pair, a pair of black Victoria secret one, that always seemed to smell like her no matter how many times she washed them. Today was no different as he raised them to his nose and took a deep breath. “Jin, come here I need your opinion!,” (Y/n) yells and he jumps quickly, placing them back in their spot before, closing the drawer and waking towards what he assumed was the kitchen.

“So I was thinking M&Ms but- hey are you okay? You looked spooked,” She says and he smiles. “Yeah I was looking at your photo’s when you yelled, nearly gave me a heart attack,” He says and she smiles walking over to him giving him a hug, “Sorry Jin, now come help me,” She says pulling him towards the snacks. He hugs her from behind and listens to what she has to say before giving his thoughts here and there.

-

-

-

The girl sat next to him crying her eyes out. Jin smiled down at her, “You okay?,” He ask moving closer placing his arm around her shoulder. “How could he do that?,” She cries as more tears run down her face. Jin chuckles and pulls her closer, “It’s okay he’s not real anyway,” He says and she sniffs.

“I’m so happy you’re not like that,” She says as Jin wipes her tears. They make eye contact for a second before Jin leans in for a kiss only for her to move away. “What are doing!,” She ask standings from the bed. “I thought you.... I... did you want to kiss?,” He ask and she sign, “No... god I think of you as a brother,” She says walking over to the tv, “So you don’t like me?,” He ask.

“No!,” She reply’s, “Then why did you invite me here?,” He ask getting up as well walking towards her, “You’re always talking about how amazing I am, and how happy you are around me!,” He yells and she turns to face him, “THATS BECAUSE YOURE MY FRIEND JIN!,” She yells and Jin scoffs, “Well I want more then that. I don’t just want to be your friend,” He reply’s.

“Then I guess you’ll have to get over it,” She says putting in another movie, “Or I could just take what I want,” He says, “What-!,” He grabs hold of her throat and squeezes tightly. “Don’t struggle, I’m not trying to kill you just make you pass out,” He says as she’s struggles against his hold, “Ji-,” He squeezes hard, “Shhh, just relax. Everything will be okay,” He says before she passes out do to lack of oxygen.

Her body goes limp, and he picks her up making his way towards the door out of her room.

•MasterList•

[words-for-holland]

Happier (6) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: A deep conversation between Tom & Y/N takes place. Tom offers a solution to Y/N’s problem, but does she take it?! Can Harrison convince her?

A/N: It’s a rather short chapter but a lot of Tom & Y/N action!! I absolutely love reading all your therories and comments! Thank you guys so much for reading & sticking around!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

Betrayal

Its a vile word for the people you trusted your life with. Still in a state of shock, Y/N couldnt understand why Katie would have betrayed her like this. To think she was her best friend through thick and thin, always having each other’s back...it all seemed meaningless. Now here she was, packing up and trying to figure out where to go from here. London wasn’t an option and neither was the city with the rent being so high up.

As if her path was written by the stars, Tom had decided to call her the moment she started zipping up her bag. Y/N knew it wasn’t a good idea to answer, but it was almost instinctive in the moment. Truthfully, she needed someone. Someone to tell her it was going to be okay. “Hey, look. I know you probably hate me after the last time we talked on the phone like this, but I just wanted to say Im sorry.” Tom’s voice spoke softly through the phone as he let out a slight chuckle of nervousness.

Y/N smiled slightly as she listened to his voice. It was the most conforting thing she had heard, and could only imagine his voice wrapping around her to make her feel some sort of ease. “Yeah. No it’s um..it’s fine, really.” Y/N responds trying to calm her breathing after sobbing for the past hour.

“Yeah I guess, you were right. Maybe I was just jealous, because..I mean you already knownhow I feel. But you’re your own person so I can totally understand why you’d want to see new people. After all you broke up with me and—” Tom started getting more nervous as he continued to over explain his reasoning, but Y/N didnt seem to pay any attention as she lets out what was bothering her.

“Kate’s been crossing us.” She interrupts.

“Wait what? What do you mean?” Tom asks now more concerned, pushing the phone closer to his ear.

“She leaked information about Natalie staying thats where the rumors came from and she sent those pictures of Matt and I to Natalie’s publicist.” Y/N says as she closes her eyes.

Tom was more confused and in complete shock. Not understanding why Y/N’s most trusted best friend who do this to her. “Y/N...I dont know what to say..I’m sorry.” He replies, feeling defeated that there was nothing he could do, especially since she was so far away from him. Even if Y/N would have rejected his advances, he knew she needed him...now more than ever.

“Don’t be. It’s fine.” Y/N lies as she sits down on the bed, silently crying.

“No, it’s not Y/N. I know you’re hurting and I wish I could be there to do something about it.” Y/N smiles at his words. For every sad and painful moment, there would always be some sort of comfort. Tom was hers. For a moment...just one moment, she forgot about all the terrible things that happened. The betrayal, the rumors, Natalie. The moment felt like it was meant just for Tom and Y/N.

But not all moments last forever. Y/N’s phone went off, alerting her of a notification. In fear, she thought the unknown number was ready to leave another threat for talking to Tom, but it wasn’t. Though it was just a simple Twitter notification that came up, it showed that Tom and Natalie were out again on display for the Public. Casually flirting back and forth, with pictures of their social media interaction with each other. Her heart sank even more..if it was even possible.

He was still with her, even if it was pretend. Y/N thought back to when Natalie first arrived to stay with them, and how she slowly tried to flirt her way and spend time with Tom. She thought about how well they worked and looked good together, and how she left Tom saying “You’d be happier with her.” While it was all under the unknown’s plan to say those exact words, Y/N couldn’t help but feel some sort of truth to it. Certainly, she wasn’t happier with everything thats happened, but for Tom...at least he still had a chance to be happier with Natalie.

“Y/N? You still there?” Tom asked through the phone, when he didn’t hear Y/N say anything for a good while.

She shook her head to stop her thoughts as she replied, “Yeah...still here.”

“Oh okay. Good. I thought you hung up on me.” Tom laughs nervously. “Look, uhh maybe we should focus on what you’re gonna do. So do you have a place to stay?”

Y/N looks around as she sighs in defeat. “No. I’d find an apartment but the rent is so high here in the city especially for those that live alone, and I really dont feel like moving back in with my parents right now.”

Tom listened to her dilemma closely, when he offered without hesitation, “Come back here.”

“Tom, you know thats not an option nor a good idea for us. I told you we needed space, and I certainly don’t want to live under the same roof with a girl your fake dating at the moment.” She says in digust, voiced laced with anger.

“Calm down, Y/N. Im just offering you a solution and I could make sure you don’t see her. It’s a big house after all.”

“It’s not happening.” Y/N says quickly to end the dispute. Y/N stops to think about her other option, one Tom make not very well like. “Maybe I could ask Matt. I know he doesnt live too far from here.”

“Okay, now you’re being delusional. That’s definitely not happening.” Tom scoffs, as he thinks about the sickening idea. “I don’t want you near him.”

“You cant tell me what to do.”Y/N snaps at him. “Just like I’m not telling to stop being near Natalie, let alone enter a PR relationship.”

“Well at least Im being honest and open about it and not hiding it like an immature child.” Tom fires back. Y/N was at a loss with the way he responded to her. While she did keep it secret, deep down she knew it was for his own good..but he would never know. “Im sorry. I didnt mean it. It’s just...I wish you were more honest with me..with everything. It hurts you know.”

“Yeah..” Y/N whispers on the phone, feeling guilty and upset by where they’ve ended up. “I know. I’m sorry too. I want to be honest with you about everything but I cant for good reason.”

“No reason is good enough, if you have to keep secrets from people you love.” Tom says bluntly. “Look Im not gonna make you choose where you want to go from here. It’s your decision and life. Im just saying my door is always open for you...no matter how many times you hurt me.”

“It’s not your obligation Tom. I’ll be fine with whatever happens to me. I have to be, but thank you.” Y/N says as she bids him farewell.

As Y/N grabs her stuff and heads toward the door so do Harrison and Harry. “We booked a hotel for a night, if you want to stay with us.” Harry says as he tried his best to smile for her.

Y/N does in return and nods. “Yeah. Okay let’s go.”

Harry, Harrison, and Y/N made it to Aviary Hotel in silence. No one was sure what they should say to the other, when everything had gone to shit in the past month. Once everyone settled down, Harry decided to go down and grab food the group, while Harrison stayed to watch over Y/N in case she needed anything. “So, you told Tom, Im guessing?” Harrison asked, sitting across the other bed as he watched her intently.

Y/N nodded not saying anything as she brushed her hair avoiding eye contact. She thought for a moment deciding if she should tell him about what really happened in the phone conversation. “He and I fought..kinda I guess. I told him I didnt have a place to stay and he wanted me to stay with you guys, but I said it’s not a good idea and then I mentioned Matt, and everything went downhill from there.”

“Wait why not? Why can’t you stay with us?” Harrison asked.

Y/N gave him a look as if he didn’t know the reason already. His blue eyes shifting from surprise to realization. “Right, I forgot.” They sat in silence for a few seconds before Harrison interjects again. “You know, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. I know Natalie and the unknown number still poses a threat, not to mention risky, but it’d be unexpected for them.” He offered.

Y/N thinks hard about it, her brows furrowing. “Yeah okay...but how does this that make it any better knowing that Im living with my ex-boyfriend who is also living under the same roof with a girl that he’s fake dating not to mention your childhood friend, and may very well be the other person terrorizing me.”

Harrison looks at her as he rubs his face in embarassment. “Well..when you put it that way.”

“Harrison, you can put it in any other way you want, it’s still going to be a bad idea.” She says.

“Look just think about it, okay. Its a big house, and you can use the attic room upstairs if you dont want to see anyone and have schedules until we can sort all of this out. And if it bothers you that much I even have a friend that lives close by who also needs a roommate herself.”

Y/N looks at Harrison skeptically, as he weighs out her options. “You really out here trying to find a way to make me stay with you guys and leave home huh?”

Harrison smiles as he combs back his dirty blonde hair. “No, Y/N. This here?” He points out arms wide, gesturing to the room to represent New York. “It was your home. Your real home, whether you want to believe it or not, it’s with us back in London. I know everything has been rough between you and Tom, but we’re going to find a way. I promise.”

Y/N sheds a tear, as she hears Harrison speak. He was right. Home just didn’t feel like home anymore. Not without them, but as much as she wanted to say yes, the odds of it being okay were against her...that couldn’t be ignored.

“So what do you say?”

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl​ @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams @averyfosterthoughts​ @fangirl-with-a-mission @drishtisikarwar @eridanuswave​ @ifntelyinspirit @trumpettay @astridcommings @parkershoco @racewife2004 @sleepybesson @greatpizzascissorstaco @andievgs

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[throwing-summers-at-the-walls]

Hi, i hope you are feeling good! Im better than yesterday so i can finally answer you. First of all: i am so happy that you shared your fanfiction! i had a great time reading it! Im always open for more recs. Maybe your all time favorites? Or if you know some good h/c these are always welcome :) And YESSS please send me a link to your fanvids. -- yeah 13rw was super cursed. haha i also watched season 1 but thankfully i was able to sto watching becaue i could feel it making me feel bad (1)

I agree the suicide scene was just cringe (but i think i remember reading somewhere that they cut it out? idk) and overall this show just gave me the feeling that there was no hope and things are always getting worse instead of better and i hated that. but enough of that cursed show. can i just say i really admire how open you are about your feelings (like being suicidal and that) i realy, really admire this about you. i have so much respect for you that you can just share your feelings here (2)

I have never heard of ace attorney but that story you described sounds really good. and i get reading sth that isnt good for you and still doing it (because im a dumb bitch too :D) -- okay i might accept that Root will never grow on you (but i thought so too and look at me now :D) but i havent fully given up yet :)-- yes thats the girl. i think it was really sweet when she said that to Shaw. and i think Shaw appreciated it that someone tried to figure her out instead of just writting her off (3)

Shaw is really cool and definately also a badass and in combination with John its just great! but you will have to suffer trough some Shoot.  but maybe, maybe you will end up not hating Root. hope dies last (idk how the saying goes in english, sorry). -- Did you ever ship Caresse (in a romantic way)? cause sometimes i do and sometimes i dont and i get so confused about it :) but i think most of the time i like them more as friends. anyway her death really sucked and you are right with (4)

her death and them losing the library it felt like a different show (i mean i guess it was a different show then). i kinda get your feelings about the destroyed library because i also really loved it (and im really bad with change) but i dont think it affected me as much as you. but yeah i still missed the library very much. and while the subway is a really cool new place its not the same. (also the subway is super dark cause its underground and idk it just makes the whole thing less homey) (5)

Yes he is everything! such a great, interesting character and i wish there were more John-centric episodes! (like ones that explored his character more). that was one of my biggest dislikes of the later seasons that John wasnt featured as much anymore. i think he chuckled a few times in the show but a real laugh? i cant remember one :(  -- He did promise Joss to talk to Tyler so @show were is that talk? -- if seen the vid its awesome! thehiddenmemory has some great poi vids! (6)

yes i think so too. Like Grace would probably be relived and thankful that Harold is still alive and maybe they would even try again but eventually she would figure out that she cant trust him after lying to him for so long or sth like that and Harold would ofc realize that he is in love with someone else now. And then he finds out that John is still alive but stayed away cause he didnt want to get in the way of Harold/Grace. But then Harold comes back. And when they meet again John is like (7)

you came back for the machine? what about Grace. But Harold tells him he came back for John not the machine and then they kiss and have a happy live with Bear (sorry i got a little carried away here :D). -- Yeah Zoe is really hot and she needed more screen time! -- i hope you have a good day and i hope i havent messed up the numbers on the asks! :)

Hi ! I'm finally free from the resits, I hope you're doing okay with your thesis 💛

Sorry for replying late, there was the exam resits, and I read a bunch of fics, then I fell into pokémon and started bingewatching it. (Also I had a breakdown during therapy today so I'm gonna finish writing my answer to distract myself - it's been sitting in my drafts for so long rip)

Thank you !! It was a very personal thing, I'm really happy you liked it !! Your support and your comment made me thrive 💛💛

Tbh I was surprised to see it get kudos given that the only intended audience was my self projecting ass 🤣

So, my fav fics (my fav fic ever is in French, rip to y'all bc it's so good):

I am, I am, I am by RavenWhitecastle

Actually check the entire series this work belongs to: The Sinner and the Saint. I haven't finished it yet but I love it (I just skipped the explicit fics bc I don't like smut or sub!John)

Breaking All The Rules by talkingtothesky

Outsider Perspective by Neery

A Really Private Person by astolat

Hamartia (the hero's fatal flaw) by astolat

If Only for Tonight by spacemutineer

From Here, Where? by AKMars

Stroll by TheaNishimori

and the world was gone by lunarcorvid

a light that never goes out by vindicatedtruth

Limitations. by Michaelssw0rd

Reel you in and spit you out by Michaelssw0rd

All I Want For Christmas Is You by richmahogany

By What Power I Am Made Bold by brinnanza

Aftershocks by darringtons

At Certain Hours It All Breaks Down by nogoaway

construction of a kingdom by the_ragnarok

You Take Me Higher Than I've Gone by talkingtothesky

All Together Now by beadedslipper

I'll Let the Waters Still by brinnanza

Birthday Tradition by talkingtothesky

Things My Father Taught Me by KRyn

Truth is in the Eye of the Beholder by infiniteeight

Better Luck This Time by Lisztful

Motivations by JenNova

What's On the Table by cortue

In Another Life by Della19

I Thought We Already Were by talkingtothesky

Misunderstandings by thisstarvingartist

This is already fucking long omg so for the h/c: my bookmarks filtered with Rinch and h/c

Here's my playlist, it's mostly Rinch, but there are a few not Rinch vids, plus some scenes I like

This is long enough already, so it's time for a read more. Also, warning, we be talking about suicide

The portrayal of suicide is cringe most of the time anyway. If my suicidal ass can find a list of suicide methods and their lethality in 2 mins on Google you'd think writers who are supposed to do some research would be able to find them too but no they're like "ah yes slicing wrists" even though it's literally the shittiest method 🙄 (I just don't understand why slicing wrists seems to be such a popular method in the collective imagination ? It's weird.) At least in 13rw she took aspirin and cut herself vertically instead of horizontally but still, no hesitation wounds, and she dies even though she only got 4 wounds iirc ? I know more about jumping off bridges than slicing wrists, but it kinda sounds like bullshit to me. Also Netflix once suggested "beyond the reasons" to me, it's a sort of discussion with the cast and crew of 13rw and the only thing I remember is a moment of intellectual masturbation abt how they "opened a discussion abt suicide" 😬😬😬

They may have cut it out it's not impossible, idk I didn't hear about it, but it's not like I look for info about this dumpster fire lol. Maybe they faced backlash ? Wouldn't be surprised given how shit the show was. And yeah it has a hopeless vibe, I mean that's how it be when you're suicidal, but I didn't like it either.

You're sweet 💜💜 it's interesting that you find it respectable or admirable, I don't have an external point of view, so I'm just like 🤷 it is what it is. I understand where you're coming from though, I guess it's still quite a taboo subject, and suicidal people don't always feel comfortable talking about it, so me throwing around that I jumped off a bridge must be surprising. I'm detached enough from my suicide attempt that I'm able to talk about it without much of a problem, and I'm not really suicidal anymore.

Dumb bitches unite 👏👏👏 we be out there reading shit we shouldn't read

Yeah I think it's nice how the show didn't portray Shaw as a bad person for not having "normal feelings". Well, hope makes one live as we say in French (idk the English saying either lol) but don't hold much hope about me liking Root lmao

I used to ship careese bc they kissed in the crossing, but then I read some Rinch fics and I just ended up falling into it to the point where I stopped caring about careese. Now I think their relationship works better as a friendship.

Yeah all that change really puts me off... It just gives me "bad spin-off" vibes. Especially since there is less John :( and less Rinch :((((

Lmao yeah I just have a lot of feelings about early poi hgkfglrk. Also :/ I'm sad about the subway being less homey pls I just want happiness ?? I swear this show destroys my heart on top of owning my last braincell (brb changing my blog title to this lmao)

Mood I need all the John-centric eps, give me m o r e characterization and development and backstory and feelings hhhhhhh. I love him so much I just wanna spend more time with him. And that's what fics are for ! Yeah thehiddenmemory is so talented ! Astolat made some good ones too, on top of writing really good fics ! (Our fandom has been blessed with the presence of one of the ao3 founders hell yeah)

Also, remember how we talked abt the poi subreddit ? The other day I left a comment on there, wild I know. It wasn't a discussion about the last seasons though, I'm not crazy, it was about the impact poi had in our lives so I said it literally taught me English. Who knows maybe sometimes I'll comment again lol. I just don't wanna meet one of those people who prefer late poi over early poi.

Allow me to uuuuh write something based on what you said. Don't ask me how John survived with no major injuries, my man got that Thick Plot Armor alright. Hope you appreciate me getting carried away sjdkdksk it's kinda rushed and the first part isn't that good bc idk how to write Grace I'm just here for that sweet sweet Rinch stuff

Harold is eating breakfast with Grace in her kitchen – he can't think of her home as his home – when his phone vibrates. It's a text from the machine. It's a surprise, she barely contacted him since... He blocks the thoughts and the images coming to his mind. The machine sent him a picture. When he opens it, his heart misses a beat. Right here on his screen is a silhouette he thought he would never see again. His phone vibrates again. Another picture, this time it's unmistakably John, wearing his signature suit, Bear next to him. Transfixed, he stares at his phone until he feels Grace gently touching his arm. She goes straight to the point.

"Is it John ?" He looks up in confusion, but before he can say anything, she adds, "I hear you call him in your sleep every night."

"It's him, yes." He doesn't want to explain. He only wants to see John, to touch him, to tell him how much he loves him.

"You should go back to him. I like you, Harold. I am deeply relieved to see you alive. But I've been thinking, and... It's not working. This, us... You aren't really the man I fell in love with, the man I grieved... I can't trust you anymore." She doesn't say 'You lied to me' but Harold hears it all the same.

~

Harold sits on their bench. The machine indicated John often comes here. Soon enough, his arms are full of Bear, and John is standing in front of him.

"John. How are you ?" he asks when Bear finally calms down.

"Busy. And you ?"

Harold eyes him suspiciously – John once said he was busy when he was bleeding and way too close to death – but he seems to be well.

"I'm fine." He doesn't have time for awkward small talk." I thought you were dead. Why didn't you contact me ?"

"The machine told me you were with Grace. I thought you wanted to come back to your previous life. I didn't want to crash into it and ruin what you had."

Harold wants to be angry at him, but he understands. He did the same with Grace.

"You would never ruin anything. Besides, my relationship with Grace... didn't survive my lies. She's very dear to my heart, but she's a part of my previous life, as you said."

"So you came back for the machine, and the numbers, like the good old times ?"

Harold gets up from the bench.

"I came back for you. You are an important part of my life. The most important part."

John smiles, finally. He takes a step towards Harold, they're so close they could kiss. Harold reaches out, grips his shirt and slowly inches closer. He's still afraid of being rejected but John wraps his arm around him and kisses him. The kiss is over too soon. John's smile is even wider when they part.

"You're the most important part of my life too," he says before kissing Harold again. "You will stay ?"

"Always."

Damn I live for sappy Rinch stuff.

Bitches decided that Harold saying "always" is peak Rinch. It's me I'm bitches.

Also ofc I had to make a reference to number crunch, who do you think I am

Anyway. I hope you have a good day ! 💛

[dacreskars]

It’s Complicated (Part 2)

Part 1 Part 3 Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8 Part 9

Trevante Rhodes x Reader

A/N: sorry I’m late posting this...it been a long ass day and I was trying to hurry up and finish this so if it sucks im sorry I promise the next chapters will be good (I hope).

It’s Monday morning and you’re finally back at work after what felt like the longest weekend ever. You sat in your office when you see Maya walking towards your office. She excitedly walks and and sits in the chair in front of your desk.

“So how was it?” She asks leaning in.

“How was what?” You ask her.

“Bitch! Your date with Roman, considering you hadn’t called you text me all weekend I’m gonna say your weekend was a little busy.” Maya says winking at you.

“It was a busy weekend...just not with Roman.” You say giving her a look.

“What happened?” Maya sighs with a disappointed look on her face.

“Roman never showed the fuck up that’s why happened.” You say standing up from your chair.

“Are you fucking serious? I’m gonna fucking kill him.” She yells.

“No it’s cool even though your good deed went wrong there was something good that came out of it.” You sit on the desk in from of Maya. “Even though Roman never showed up I met another guy and I actually had a amazing night. And before you ask no we didn’t sleep together.” You tell her.

“Why not?” She questions.

“Because we were getting to know each other like normal ass humans and plus he didn’t really seem like the type.” You continue.

“Spill it who is he?” Maya says getting closer to you.

“His name is Trevante, he’s a lawyer and he’s fine ass fuck.” You smile.

“Well then shit fuck Roman.” Maya laughs.

A few minutes later Ava’s assistant comes into your office to let you know that Ava wanted to see you to talk about a upcoming shoot. Maya leaves and heads back to her desk while you go to Ava’s office.

After a day of getting things set up for a shoot that was coming up you tiredly grabbed all your stuff and went home. As soon as you got home you received a text from Tre. He wanted to know if you wanted to go out sometime this week. You told him that you had to go to San Francisco for work but when you came back you were available. You later got ready for bed and prepare yourself for work tomorrow knowing it was gonna be hectic especially because you knew Ava was gonna try to change plans at the last minute.

You walked into work the next morning to people scrambling all over trying to find pieces for the photoshoot that was scheduled for tomorrow. You went to your office to put your stuff away and make your way to Ava’s office to make sure everything was set before you left for San Francisco later tonight. To your surprise Ava didn’t really change much of what was originally planned which made it easier to finish what needed to be done.

You and Maya were boarding your plane when you got a call from Trevante. “Hey how are you?” You ask. “I’m amazing actually how about you?” He replies. “I’m doing really well. I’m sorry but can I call you back my plane is about to take off?” You tell him. “Yeah sure just call me when you get there or when your not busy.” Trevante say. You say your goodbyes and hang up your phone and put it away.

You spent three days working on this shoot and you were exhausted. The last three days were spent on sets and making sure everything was going smoothly. When you did get time for yourself you spent it trying to get some sleep even if it meant a little 10-20 minute nap. You were in your hotel room getting stuff together for the next day. You get a call from Maya saying that everyone was headed back to LA in the morning because they had everything they needed.

Friday morning you arrive back in LA and instead of going straight to work you took the day off and stayed home to rest. You showered then watched tv for a few minutes before you drift off to sleep. After about 4 hours you woke up and made yourself something to eat. You decide to call Tre to make plans to got out after a few rings he answers.

“Hey Y/N!” He answers.

“Hey! Am I interrupting anything.” You say.

“No you’re good I was just walking out of a meeting. What’s up?” Tre asks.

“Sorry about not calling you back work got crazy and I forgot.” You say apologetically.

“No worries I understand.” He pauses and you start to speak but he continues. “Are you free tonight?” He asks.

“Yeah I’m free!” You tell him.

“Ok cool I’ll pick you at 8:30.” Tre says.

“Perfect see you then. I’ll text you my address.” You smile.

“Perfect see you soon.” He says before hanging up.

Later that night you got ready and fixed up your hair and make up when your doorbell rang. You answer the door to Trevante standing there with a huge smile look as gorgeous as every. You let him in as you grabbed your purse and put your shoes on. The two of you walk to his car and he opens the door for you. He gets in the car and starts to drive to your location.

“So where are we going?” You ask looking at him.

“To this new restaurant downtown.” He says as he glances at you.

The rest of the ride was silent with a few stares and glances back and forth with each other. When you get to the restaurant Trevante get out the car and opens your door as he guides you inside. You’re greeted by the hostess and she escorts you to your table. You sit down as your waiter walks up to take your drink order. A few minutes later you waiter shows up with your drinks and takes your food orders before leaving again.

After a brief silence you look up at Trevante and notice him looking at you.

“What?” You laugh.

“Nothing you’re just beautiful.” He says smiling back at you. You laugh again and he starts talking.

“How was San Francisco?” Trevante asks.

“It was crazy, kinda wish I got to explore more of the city but we had so much to do in so little time. I’d love to go back one day and actually see the city.” You tell him. “What about you how’s being lawyer?” You continue.

“It’s good actually I get to handle so really high profile cases and some really crazy ones.” He says.

You food soon arrives and both of you eat while continuing your conversation. When you were done you left and Trevante started to take you home. On the drive Tre’s rest his hand on your leg. Your breath started to hitch and you suddenly became hot. You rolled down your window a little to cool down as you pulled up in front of your apartment.

Trevante gets out of the car and helps you to walk you to your door. You two didn’t say anything until you got to your apartment door. You thanked him for everything and he suddenly pulls you in for a kiss. You get into you apartment and continue kissing Tre as both of you undressed each other. Trevante picks you up carrying you to your bedroom. He lays you down on the bed and kisses you once more and starts to trail kisses from your neck to in between your thighs. After what felt like hours both you and Trevante finally meet your release. You went to the bathroom and came back out to lay in bed with Tre has you watched tv. After a while he drifted off to sleep and you later on his chest as you fell asleep soon after.

Taglist: @kangchalla @yaachtynoboat711 @desireatatyana @alexundefined @lifelover4u @forbeautyandlife @janelledarling @chaneajoyyy @trevantesbrat @mebeingme1234 @missmohnique @leahnicole1219

If you wanna be tagged just lmk...

[wlwhoa]

highlights from the panel

these are things i remember from the top of my head and shit i wrote down in discord while hyped up on rockstar so forgive me if i miss anything lmao

they were talking about their experience with the old show (i forget why bc when the person asked the question the stream buffered) and Josh talked about how he watched the show when he was a kid and Jeremy said he didn’t until recently because he’s more on the younger side. he said “I just turned 21″ and then dabbed in the year 2k18 so jeremy is cancelled we had a good run buddy

they played the first episode of the new season but streamers weren’t able to see it. the interviewer asked the audience not to spoil it and when Josh said that if you spoil anything even though it releases in like 4 hours you’re a jerk lmao

they sang happy birthday to Shiro and they made some cupcakes and gave some to the askers. jeremy and josh were sad bc they didn’t know if they were getting any

someone said that they’ve seen edits of shiro as craig from dream daddy and asked if shiro would be able to handle kids and how he would be as a father. josh said he would do anything for his kids but as we saw with his interactions with slav he can be really pushed to his limits soooo

someone (im just gonna say the askers are someone lmao) asked what was the moment that made lance believe him and keith had a rivalry and if we were ever gonna see like that in a flashback or something. joaquin said he would love to do like a spinoff series of just flashbacks. lauren said some stuff but i didnt catch it all bc i was typing during the time but it was basically lance wants to be the best but keith is and he just wants to be like that. she said “lance is the best pilot- i mean keith is-” and then jeremy said “lance is the best pilot but i can see where you can get that wrong”

this doesnt really have to do with the panel but someone cosplayed as steven fron steven universe and someone in the line behind them started playing with their hair and “streven” had no idea until everyone started laughing and they whipped around like “DO YOU MIND??” so that was funny

someone asked about romance and then asked about klance bc we all know that was gonna happen and they gave a safe answer. lauren said something about them being in a war so they dont have time for it but if it happens it happens. jeremy said something ;)))-ish and made josh say “lancE” in shiro’s voice. jeremy replied with “there are a lot of beautiful women in space!!” which is 1) mood and 2) kinda sounded like he was backtracking (seeing as the person did ask about klance) but idk i guess people can interpret it as they want

someone asked about clone!shiro and they replied with something safe blah blah blah. joaquin said “people are allowed to get a haircut” and someone in the audience who was super close to the mic yelled out so loudly “IT’S UGLY!!!” so thats a mood

asked about their favorite moments or something like that (it buffered again). joaquin said it was the slowmo shot of them riding kaltenecker. lauren said it was when they showed how they rigged up the game console. josh said he loved varkon (the space mall security guard). jeremy said it was when coran got all dressed up to ride red and then he made an amazing coran impression and joaquin jokingly said that jeremy fills in for coran’s lines when rhys is out

someone asked about last names. they started it out with “here’s a question that we’ve been dying to know” and lauren and joaquin both went “uh oh” lmao. but yeah joaquin said something dumb like “in the future there arent any last names!!” and the asker went “oh come on”. they probs just haven’t thought it out yet BUT THEY GOTTA HURRY UP AND FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT BLS. lauren said that keith’s full name is Keith Keith Bo Beith Banananana Mo Meef. jeremy said lance’s last name was actually lance and his first name was lancey, so full name lancey lance

something happened but i forgot bc i was distracted by two askers coming up with a huge birthday banner and balloons for shiro. josh yelled out “HE’S SIX!!!!” all excited. they wanted to give the balloons to him so hopefully they did after the panel like they promised.

someone asked jeremy if lance was a singer and what his favorite song was. he said he was defintely a singer and his favorite song was sexyback by justin timberlake he assumes.

someone asked when allura’s earth birthday would technically be and asked if it was valentine’s day like the fans celebrated bc we love her so much <333 lauren said something dumb like “thats cool celebrate it whenever lmao” so shes cancelled

someone asked what were the other paladin’s reaction to galra!keith bc and lauren again said something dumb but i dont remember bc of the energy drink and it was buffering but it was basically “they dont know shit about galras and they know keith so they were chill” which i dont buy at ALL so lauren’s cancelled again buh bye

MY FAVORITE FUCKING PART: someone asked them how keith got expelled from the garrison (god bless them) and joaquin fckiN said “you know how Iverson has a permanently closed eye?? there you go ;))” and everyone LOST THEIR SHIT MAN I SCREAMED AND PROBS WOKE UP EVERYONE IN THE HOUSE BUT HOLY FUCK KEITH JUST FUCKING DECKED IVERSON IN THE FACE BC HE WAS GRIEVING ABOUT SHIRO AND DID PERMANENT DAMAGE TO HIS EYE!!!! i recorded it bc i loved it so much here’s the link

they were gonna have a scene where it showed pidge deciding to investigate the garrison some more and like cutting off her hair and stuff but they had to cut it for some reason :((

josh talked about how he used to say “form voltron!” when he was a kid and how happy he is now that he gets to say it for real :’))) and then jeremy was like “well I cant say it like that i really want to” and people were like “there’s nothing stopping you from doing it now lmao” so he said “form voltron!” in lance’s voice and josh was like “youre not in the black lion stfu” and you bet my black paladin lance stanning ass SCREAMED

there was also someone there who worked on the storyboard and i cant remember her name for the life of me (i think it was christine aaa IM SORRY) but she said that the first draft for the black lion had zebra stripes ???? for some reason ??? and she was SO glad that it didnt go through and she has no idea why she drew it like that lmao

so yeah thats basically the gist of it hopefully yall can understand this i did not proof read at all lmao feel free to add more if i forgot anything

[angryvevo]

12 things to not do if you dont want to be an asshole

1. reply to someone on yahoo answers with “read the material” or “you should do your work on your own.” obviously, you fuck shit. you gungle. you bingle boongle. do u really think that’s going to stop me, “proud mom of 5″? is that what you think? is that what you thinky thonkle?

2. answer to someones genuine excitement with hate and assholemanship. if i am excited and i talk to you, and you reply with something like “GOD chill out” i am going to kick you in your pathetic stick shins, you fool.

3. hide gay stuff from kids. like, unless you’re trying to shield them from romance all together?? if spiderman can kiss mary jane in front of a kid then sapphire can kiss ruby. marceline can kiss bubblegum. you fuck.

4. ignore people for no reason. if you hear someone talking fucking respond, you dumb shit.

5. on that note, if you see someone with headphones on-- it’s fucking DONT TALK TO ME time. if you do, ill be nice about it, but im kinda expecting you to have courtesy and not do the fucking talking to me.

6. spread on the bus. like i get it. ur tryna look cool. or like, the old friend is cramped. just........ fucking........ tough it out for a minute. i don’t invade everybody’s space cus my junk is cramped, you dick. you selfish bafoon.

7. yell when it’s not necessary. like in run-of-the-mill arguements and whatever. ur just making everyone... very alarmed. and when ppl yell im like “oh, welp, the next step is that they’re gonna murder me.” so maybe? dont?

8. make your personality brooding and mean and unloving bc you think your a fucking anime character. you’re not, my friend. and your name isn’t actually Alyx, it’s fucking Alex. just stop. nobody likes it. everyone is just irritated. and no one is having fun bc every fucking time we say something your like “but life is meaningless so who the fuck cares” and now we’re all fucking pissed off bc we just want to have FUN Alex.... FUCK.

9. get into internet arguements. listen, we all get the urge to roast the shit out of someone just over the interwebs but promise me--- it’s not worth a lick of your goddamn time. log out. take a walk. the world is out there and it’s real and it like.... matters? and arguing with WeLoveKillingPuppies32 might be tempting but it doesn’t mean anything, honestly. & if your in an internet argument currently just send them a cursed meme and drop off the face of the earth.

10. make fun of people like furries and people with like.... bendy and the inky cuphead undertale oc’s. they’re just having a good time, you dipshit. dont make me pull out your mcr fanfics and supernatural crack! videos from 2009, Meghan. I see you and your shitty windows movie maker editing. I see your bargain-bin J.K.R ass writing about how Gared Otherway is apparently pressing his “silky rose lips” against yours as you run your hypothetical paws through his “scarlett mop”. I wasn’t going to bring it up, but you leave me no fucking choice, “pastelmemories”.

10.5. apparently i hit a nerve. im sorry, i like,,,,,,, i uh,,,,,,,, i got carried away.

11. purposefully cut kids off when they’re talking. and like... generally disrespect kids out of lack of care for what they’re saying. like what the fuck is wrong with you?? like that is.... a whole human being right there. you dick.... you know how that shit felt, why would you inflict it on somebody else????

12. treat yourself unkindly. you silly bitch. you goofy goober. you are a great human being and you should treat yourself as such. you need to take a shower (bc i know ur stanky butt hasn’t touched water in like 4 days), drink and eat something, go to sleep and get like 8 hours, and take some fucking time for yourself..... u byutifull creeetur.

[multifandomtrashsstuff-blog]

Good Night Pt. 2

Seungcheol waved goodbye to Jeonghan and walked inside the boarding gate. He knew his boyfriend would cry the moment he was out of sight. The thought of Jeonghan crying also made him want to cry. He got inside the airplane and sat beside the window. Was his decision right? Was leaving Jeonghan alone really the right decision? He remembered the night he got the call. ~~~~ "Jisoo?" "Hey man!" The guy on the other line greets. "Hey! What's up?" "Well, I passed your business plan to the dean and he liked it. He said he could give you a spot for the one-year program." He couldn't answer. "That's if you're up for it." He looked at Jeonghan sleeping peacefully beside him. He slowly caressed him, pushing his blonde hair behind his ear. "Look Jisoo, I really appreciate it man, but I have to think about it. Jeonghan and I just moved in together." "Oh yeah!" Jisoo answers gleefully. "That's okay bro. Just saying you have an opportunity here if you ever wanna take it." Seungcheol nodded and looked back at Jeonghan, still sleeping peacefully. "Yeah. Thanks bro." He put the phone down and snuggled next to Jeonghan. The younger stirred in his sleep and Seungcheol slid his arm under Jeonghan's neck to hug him closer. "I love you, Angel." After a few days of silently contemplating, Seungcheol called Jisoo and said yes. He immediately got the letter 3 days after. "Singapore huh?" Jeonghan asks. Seungcheol had a lump in his throat and all he could say was "uhuh". He was dying. The silence was killing him. Jeonghan was just staring at the paper. "Are you okay with it?" He asks after what seemed like forever. Jeonghan smiles and takes his hand. "Of course. I want you to not have any regrets. Go for it Cheol-ah." He couldn't explain the joy he felt. He wanted this so bad and he's just glad Jeonghan was very understanding. ~~~~ And now here he was. On board an airplane, flying to Singapore. They both promised each other they would call and text and video chat. And they did. "SEUNGKWAN ACTUALLY KISSED HANSOL THERE. RIGHT THERE AND THERE CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???" Jeonghan was obviously drunk. "Hana, didn't I tell you not to drink when I'm not there?" Seungcheol said trying to sound firm but failing miserably as he cracked up at Jeonghan trying to remove his socks. Jeonghan kept pulling at his socks but he falls flat onto his butt. Seungcheol stands up from his chair, eyes wide, as Jeonghan disappear from the camera's view. "Hana?" No answer. "Angel?" No answer. "Baby?! Are you okay?" Seungcheol's heart almost went out of his chest when Jeonghan appeared looking like a zombie. "I'm *hiccup* drunk." "Yes, baby, I know you are. You have to sleep." "I AM DRUUUUUUUUUUUNK!" Jeonghan sang and Seungcheol just stared at him. How can this boy look so pretty even as he's wasted. "I miss you." Seungcheol was pulled out from his trance when he heard that. "I know, baby. I miss you too." Jeonghan pouts. "I'm not a baby. I'm an angel." Seungcheol chuckles and sits back. "Yes you are. You are my angel." They just stared at each other for a few minutes. "Go to bed Hana." "You'll watch me right? Till I fall asleep?" "Mhm. I'll watch you forever." Soon enough, Jeonghan falls asleep. ~~~~ "Brilliant work Seungcheol!" The professor says after reading the one-year plan for his business proposition. "Thank you Mr. Cheng." "Now, have you chosen a company from the list I've given you?" "Yes Sir. I've contacted 3 of them already and I have scheduled an interview." Seungcheol happily replies. "Well, the best of luck to you young man! Good job!" The professor pats him at the back and leaves. He pulled the phone from his pocket and saw that there was 23 missed calls and 14 voicemails from Jeonghan. Again. This has gone on for weeks. He was so busy he only gets to listen to the voicemails. He couldn't even text Jeonghan. "Shit." He muttered under his breath. He walked out of the building and started to dial Jeonghan's number. Why is the world spinning? He had to stop beside a post to shake his head. He can't breathe. "Hello?" He hears from the other side. He can't talk. "Cheol?" He can't breathe. He can't--- ~~~~ Seungcheol woke up wearing a hospital gown. "Hello Seungcheol. I'm your doctor, Lee Seokmin. How are you feeling?" He stared at the smiling brown haired guy blankly. "I don't know, Doctor. You tell me." Dr. Lee's smile faded. "I'm sorry." "Why doc? What's up?" He didn't need to ask. He already knew what "I'm sorry" meant. "Your heart. It's already enlarged 3 times larger than normal. It's pumping too quickly and---" "How long?" He cut the doctor off. The same thing happened to his father. He already knew it was the near-end. "About 2-3 months. Maybe 4 if you don't skip your medication." The doctor looked sadly at Seungcheol. He noticed and smiled. "Well. That's life isn't it?" ~~~~ The next few days were out in a blur. He wouldn't answer Jeonghan's calls and texts, saying he's busy with the internship. The truth? He was just at the dorm. Moping. Drinking. "My god Seungcheol!" It was Jisoo. His room was a complete mess. "Get a grip!" Jisoo pulled him up to stand but he wouldn't budge. He was going to die anyway. "Just leave me alone." "No Seungcheol. You need to fight." "For what?!" Tears were flowing down his cheeks. "For two more months?!" "FOR YOON JEONGHAN YOU GODDAMN IDIOT!" Seungcheol looked up at Jisoo. He was also crying. "Remember how you were willimg to give up this opportunity for him? He is your world Seungcheol! Fight for him! If not for youself, do it for him." Jisoo stormed out of the door. Great Seungcheol. You just lost your best friend. Jeonghan. What about him? It's better he just let him go. Jeonghan stands a better chance at a better life without him. He was confused. He drank a few more shots and cried himself to sleep. ~~~~ It's 5:00 p.m. Seungcheol woke up with both head and heart aching. He knew what he had to do. He picked up the phone and texted Jeonghan. "We need to break up." He texted. There's no turning back now.  He waited for Jeonghan's reply. "Why?" it read. Because I'm dying, he thought. "I'm too busy Jeonghan. I have to put this first before anything else." Tears were blurring his vision. "I can understand even if you don't have time for me. I will understand." Jeonghan replies. I know you will, he thought. Tears were flowing down his cheeks again. He couldn't breath. "I'm sorry. It's better this way." He was now a mess. He knows Jeonghan is too. But he's right. It's better this way. "You're really just gonna break up with me through text?" He could sense Jeonghan was angry. I'm sorry I'm a coward, he thought. "I'm sorry. I'm im class." Jeonghan didn't reply for a while and he knew too well his angel was crying. "Can you please do one last thing?" He read. No, he thought. He already knows where this is going. "Please?" He wiped tears off his face. "What?" He coldly replied hoping it would stop Jeonghan from saying what he wanted to. "Just reply to me like you used to." There it was. The thing he was scared of. "I love you." The next text read. He couldn't reply. He just couldn't. Why would Jeonghan do this to both of them? Oh right, he doesn't know Seungcheol was hurting too.  "I love you." He finally managed to reply. "Good night."  ~~~~ He started cleaning his room after that. He had to at least look decent when he dies. He started packing too. He was going through all his stuff when he saw it. The box. He bought it 2 months ago planning to propose when he returns home. "If not for yourself, do it for him." Jisoo's voice echoed in his mind. No Seungcheol. That's crazy. You've just broken up with him. There's no way he would accept you. He mind wandered back to all the times they were together. Driving on the freeway with the wind on Jeonghan's hair. Hands intertwined. Smiles. Kisses. Snuggles. Cuddles. Midnight cravings. Sneaking out. He looked at the box again. 2 months? 3? 4? It was sure as hell more than enough to make memories. To say goodbye. He ran to the shower and quickly changed. "Jisoo?" he said after the other picked up the phone. "I need a plane ticket back to Korea. Now." ~~~~ It was 3:00 in the morning when he got to the house. He already knew but he was still surprised to see Jeonghan on the floor, having cried himself to sleep. Seungcheol carried him up to their bedroom and laid him down. "Cheol. Please... Don't..." Jeonghan murmured in his sleep. Seungcheol snuck beside his boyfriend and slod his arm under Jeonghan's head to pull him closer. "I won't leave. Promise." He placed a kiss on Jeonghan's forehead before finally drifting off to sleep. He woke up again at 7:00 a.m. to prepare breakfast for Jeonghan. He was gonna do it. He's gonna propose. By the time he went up, Jeonghan was already awake. "What are you...?" Jeonghan didn't even finish what he was saying. Seungcheol, seeing his confusion, put the tray down the bed and cupped the younger's face. "I told you not to cry too hard." "BUT YOU WERE BREAKING UP WITH ME!" Jeonghan shouted at him. Jeonghan was already crying. "YOU WERE BREAKING UP WITH ME CHOI SEUNGCHEOL!" He started hitting Seungcheol's chest but he easily caught the younger's wrists. If he only knew how it actually hurt Seungcheol. "Look at me, Hana." Jeonghan wouldn't. "Look at me!" Seungcheol lifted his head and bored his eyes into his. "Did you seriously think I would break up with you? I told you. I'm the luckiest guy in the world because I have you. Damn, Hana. I built my world around you. If you're not in the center of it then what am I? I'm nothing. You, Hana, are my world. I would never ever break up with you." Jeonghan was crying and Seungcheol wiped the tears away. "And  I want you to permanently be my world." Seungcheol pulls out a box and opens it. Jeonghan was just staring at the ring. "Marry me, Jeonghan." Jeonghan was just crying and Seungcheol was getting scared he would say no. "Silence means yes, Angel." Seungcheol was smiling at him and wiping his tears away. When Jeonghan finally nodded, he took the ring out and put it on Jeonghan's finger. "Don't ever scare me like that ever again." Jeonghan says pouting. Seungcheol smiles and shaked his head. "I won't. Promise." I'm sorry but I just might. One more time, he thought. "I love you." Seungcheol whispered before kissing Jeonghan's tears away. ~~~~ They went back to their normal life. Now, Seungcheol was outside staring at the stars. He wanted to tell Jeonghan what was going on but he didn't know how. He didn't need to figure out how. His eyes widened when he saw Jeonghan standing in front of him, holding his medicine kit. "What is this?" He could tell from Jeonghan's eyes that he already knew the answer. He just wanted to confirm. "It's my medicine." "For what?" "For my heart." He thought Jeonghan would start shouting at him and about how he feels betrayed not knowing. But no he didn't. He just sat beside Seungcheol and snaked his arms around the other's waist. Seungcheol, in return, put his arms around Jeonghan's shoulders and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. "How much time do we have?" Jeonghan asks softly. "2-4 months?" Jeonghan looks up to Seungcheol and places a kiss on his lips. "That's more than enough for me." Seungcheol just stared at his angel. How much more lucky can he get? "Seriously Hana, what did I ever do to deserve you?" Jeonghan chuckled and snuggled closer to Seungcheol. "You became you, that's what you did." They didn't say anything after that. They were content with the silence. And the warmth. ~~~~ "HOOOOME FINALLLY!" Jeonghan screams as soon as he stepped inside the house. 3 months have passed and they did everything they wanted to do together. They just came from Paris. Seungcheol was still okay. Not as strong as he used to be but he was still okay. "Do you want ramyeon for dinner?" Seungcheol asks. Jeonghan had a sly grin on his face. "You mean ramyeon food or...?" Seungcheol blushed at his joke. "I meant food, Hana." Jeonghan laughed at his reaction and nodded. "Yeah. Ramyeon food sounds great." Seungcheol went to the kitchen to cook while Jeonghan went upstairs to get changed. He was in the middle of cooking when two arms snaked around his waist. One hand held his right hand, inspecting the ring on his finger. "Do you love me, Seungcheol?" Seungcheol turns the stove off and turns around. "I married you didn't I. Of course I love you. You're my angel." Jeonghan smiled softly and put his ear against Seungcheol's heart. They were quiet for a few seconds. "Don't you dare flirt with other souls in heaven. I will go there and pull you away from everyone if you did." Seungcheol laughed. Death was not a scary thing anymore. They could joke about it. It was because of Jeonghan. It was because of his angel. "Are you sure they'll let a fallen angel get inside heaven?" "Fallen?! FALLEN?! ME?!" Jeonghan overreacts. "Uhuh. You've fallen for me haven't you?" Seungcheol says, wriggling his brows. Jeonghan cackled and smacked his chest. "Go back to cooking, Cheol. I'll put on a movie." Seungcheol did as he was told and followed Jeonghan to the living room not long after. "The Purge? I thought you didn't want to watch this anymore?" Seungcheol suprisedly asked. "Well. It's your fave so I don't mind."  Half-way through the movie, Seungcheol felt his heart tighten. Jeonghan must have felt it too as he was listening to Seungcheol's heart beat. Jeonghan sat up and paused the movie. He pulled Seungcheol near him and enveloped him in a hug. "Baby, I think---" "Shhh..." Jeonghan knew already. He didn't need to hear it. They continued to watch. "I love you, Hana. My Hana." Jeonghan pushed Seungcheol up and stared at him. "Don't say it like that. That's like saying goodbye. " Seungcheol smiles and nods. "Okay." Another moment of silence. Seungcheol's breathing getting heavier by each second. "I'll look for you in heaven, Angel." Seungcheol softly whispers. "I'll wait for you there." Jeonghan answers. Seungcheol sits up and kisses Jeonghan passionately. They took their time. They kissed as if they have forever. "I love you." Seungcheol whispers as they pulled back. "I love you." Jeonghan smiles. Seungcheol snuggles back to the warm hug Jeonghan was offering. "Good night, Hana. My angel." Jeonghan felt Seungcheol's tear fall the same time as his. "Good night, Cheol-ah."