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ravs6709 · 3 years

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Our Very Own Story- Queerplatonic Fedex

Alternate title: I project so much onto Fitz that he's probably ooc

Woo, I'm finally done! I've had this idea for so many months, but I never had the chance to actually finish it, but finally, it's here (in all its 7.3k words glory)

This story takes place in the same au as Our Very Own Melody, which is the (romantic) Kam side. OVOM isn't necessary to read to read this one, but it's still my fave work, so read it anyways

But here's a refresher. Soulmates au in high school. Soulmate bond is having a strong bond similar to telepathy and empathy combined, and can only be revealed once the soulmates are close with each other.

Ve/vem Dex and she/ae Biana because yes.

And also, Fitz, Keefe, Tam and Linh are in the same grade, and are all one year older than Sophie, Biana and Dex.

Warnings: censored swearing, and mentions of (a character from a play's) death

Hope you enjoy!

•~•~•~•~•~•

Fitz remembered the days that he played the piano. He still played it in the present, but not to the extent that he had in the past. He used to constantly play it, something that he was partially forced to do.

It wasn't like he didn't enjoy it, because he did. He'd started at a young age, and as he grew older, he found himself creating parts to songs. Just a few notes, maybe long enough for a verse, he didn't have the same passion to create music like Keefe would using his violin.

If anything, he preferred to write lyrics. He liked being able to tell stories with words. It was at the end of elementary school where he'd realized that it wasn't writing music that interested, but writing in general. He had so many ideas flowing inside of him, and a powerful imagination.

When middle school came, he started to explore some of the possibilities. He tried poetry, but while it was fun, it wasn't his thing. He particularly enjoyed writing short stories for English class. He didn't spend that much time focusing on writing though, he spent most of his free time hanging out with Keefe, Biana, Sophie, and rarely, Dex.

It was in eighth grade when Biana practically forced him to watch the school play with her and Sophie. (Keefe, for some reason, had been allowed to decline the invitation. That alone made Biana's intentions suspicious).

From start to finish, he was amazed by what he saw. The play was one that he'd heard of, but didn't know the plot to. Each movement of the actor was a sentence in his head, he could see the words written down on paper, ready to be acted out. He knew that script writing wasn't as simple as that, the formatting was different, but still he was curious.

After the play was over, the three of them started walking to take Sophie home. "So, did you like it?" Biana asked.

"It was good," Fitz replied. "The lighting was really great."

That was another thing that made script writing different compared to writing a short story. When writing something to be acted out, you had to be able to imagine the scene, know what kind of lighting would be needed and what special effects were needed in order to emphasize something, or in order to make something happen.

"It was great!" Sophie agreed. "Dex did a really good job behind the scenes!"

"Wait, Dex was involved with the play?" Fitz asked.

He'd met Dex back in elementary school, but they never actually spoke to each other until a few months ago, when Sophie befriended them. But even now, even though they'd hang out at his house, he hadn't really interacted with Dex that often. (It did explain why Dex wasn't with them either).

"You didn't know?" Biana asked. "I mean, ve hasn't talked about it much, but surely you should've known. Vis knowledge of technology is really good."

Fitz hadn't actually witnessed it for himself, but had heard about it. But the stories couldn't do it justice.

•~•~•~•~•~•

After Sophie had gone home, the two siblings started to walk to their home.

"So, what about playwriting?" Biana asked.

"I know you brought me to see it for a reason," he told her.

She crossed her arms. "Do I have to have a reason?"

"Knowing you, yeah."

Ae huffed. "Rude. What would I even have to gain from introducing you to a form of writing that you might enjoy?"

"Oh, I don't know, like asking for a favour such as doing half of a project?" He was still a little bit bitter for having to do that.

"That was one time!"

"One time too many!"

•~•~•~•~•~•

Fitz was glad that his high school had a talented drama club. Every year, his school participated in the city-wide festival. The thought alone was exciting, and he knew that unlike in middle school, it was the students who wrote the plays. He wanted to be part of it.

It also sounded a little stressful, because it was no longer just a school play, but a piece of art meant to represent the school. Actual professionals would be there to judge the play. And this was going to be his first time doing this. He knew though, that it was going to be fine. He wasn't alone, there was going to be a whole playwriting team to create the play.

Unfortunately, luck decided not to favour him. While there were multiple teachers in the drama department, it was the head who would deal with everything. Except the head of the drama department had gone on maternity leave, meaning that the school wasn't going to participate in the festival for that year. While it would be rude to be annoyed at the teacher, he was still a little upset, because he'd been looking forward to it.

The year itself wasn't bad, he enjoyed it a lot. He'd managed to get most of his classes with Keefe, the only differing one being their art course, where Keefe went with music, and he chose drama. His classes were entertaining. Sophie and Biana had started dating, and the hangouts at his house only grew more frequent.

There were also the Song twins. He wasn't necessarily friends with Linh, but they shared a few classes, and she was fun to be around. Sometimes they ate lunches together when Keefe wasn't around. Tam, on the other hand, he knew nearly nothing about, other than the fact that he usually kept to himself. Or at least, until Keefe had managed to start a rivalry with him, and then they started serenading each other with their violins. Their rivalry was a big source of entertainment, and he and Linh would often discuss the fact that they clearly liked each other.

All of those things definitely made his first year of high school a good one.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Even without the fact that the head of the drama teacher had returned from maternity leave, his second year of high school was eventful. Biana, Sophie and Dex had joined them, meaning that he got to see them more often.

He walked into the drama club room to get his form to join the drama club. He was surprised to see that Dex was also in the room.

"Hey Dex," he greeted. "Didn't expect to see you here."

"I normally do backstage stuff, did you forget, Wonderboy?" ve asked.

"Oh yeah, that's right."

He was reminded of when Sophie had told him that Dex was part of the backstage crew during middle school. He made a mental reminder to not forget, because while he hadn't intentionally been rude, he had been rude to vem in the past. He wanted to be a better friend than that.

"But actually," ve continued. "I wasn't actually going to be a part of backstage this year, I was thinking of being an actor."

"You like acting?"

Fitz was pretty sure that Dex had never mentioned being an actual actor before, but if he had to be honest, he wouldn't have been surprised if ve had. He'd already forgotten about vis involvement with the drama club.

But to his surprise, Dex flushed red, one of vis hands moving to scratch the back of vis neck. "It's not something I've brought up. I kinda have stage fright, so I'm trying to face that fear and do something that I want. Even if I get a minor role, I'll be happy."

"You should go for it!" Fitz told vem. "I'm sure you'll do good on the stage!"

Ve smiled sheepishly. "Thank you."

•~•~•~•~•~•

Along with him, there were four other people who signed up to be a playwright. He'd only recognized one of them, since they'd been in the same class the previous year, but he wasn't friends with any of them. They were nice people though, they were quite calm, compared to his friends. (Keefe, Biana and Sophie made a dangerous combination).

Playwriting was interesting, because it was different compared to what he was used to. He was aware that it wouldn't be the same, but he wasn't expecting how different they would feel. There was little focus on description, and there was no flowery prose at all. The descriptions that were there were short and simple, just enough for the actor and backstage crew to know what was going on.

It was a little hard getting used to the formatting, because he had to remember to capitalize the names, and there were a lot of small details that he needed to remember. But it was okay, because he had the other writers with him.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"So," Dex said. "How's the play going?"

"We're mostly done with the script, but we've been told the script is too short, so we're just adding on to it." This was one of the few times that ve had been the one to approach him, and he had a feeling that he'd be interacting with vem more often. "We've decided on a subversion of the classic high school story, you know what I'm talking about, right?"

Ve scrunched vis nose. "New girl goes to high school, befriends two popular guys- but sometimes one of them is a childhood friend- and gets into a love triangle with said guys? Plus, there's probably a mean girl? How could I not know? What changes have you made?"

"The mean one isn't actually that mean, and fae gets together with the main character."

"Ooh, do the two popular guys get together?" ve asked.

"One of them is enby, but yeah. The writers have been having so much fun making everything queer."

"Holy sh*t, that does sound like fun! Last year me would have killed to see something like that, when I was questioning myself."

Fitz had been starting to come to terms with the fact that he was aromantic, but he could definitely see where ve was coming from. Even if there weren't any confirmed characters on the aspec spectrum, he was always happy to have characters who were queer.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Crapcrapcrap," Dex muttered under vis breath, pacing back and forth as ve waited for Fitz to get his lunch out of his locker.

Fitz took out his lunch, then closed the locker. He turned towards vem. "Try to breathe," he suggested. "If you get too panicked now, that's when the mistakes are going to happen. Do you want to take a minute to sit down and breathe?"

Ve glanced back and forth between him and the staircase they'd need to climb to head to the club room. Reluctantly, they sat down.

"It's not like they won't start without you there, right?" Ve asked.

"It's not like you'll be late. What do you normally do to calm yourself? Do you want me to hold your hand? I know Keefe likes that."

For a moment, he wondered if he was overstepping some kind of boundary- because they still weren't that close- but ve smiled sheepishly, and looked down at the floor. "Maybe… that would be nice. We can try that."

Ve gently held his hand, and Fitz noticed that his hand was warm, compared to his own cold one. They sat like that for a few moments, until vis shaky hand became more stable.

"Okay," ve said, but it came out as a breathy whisper. "I think we should get going."

Ve let go of his hand, the warmth slowly fading away. He liked the feeling of holding vis hand.

They went to the club room, where the auditions were being held. Dozens of students were trying out for the various roles, and he felt a little proud, knowing that people wanted to act for a play that he helped to write.

He watched the students try out, and they were all so impressive. He was glad that he wasn't actually part of the group that decided who was casted and who wasn't. He may have been a writer, but the writers weren't in charge of the auditions.

Soon it was Dex's turn- ve was auditioning for one of the teachers in the story. The teacher that ve was auditioning for was someone lenient, a good friend to the other students. The teacher would often jokingly tease the students in the class.

Seeing Dex on the stage, it was almost as ve had become a new person. He knew that obviously, being able to act in a variety of roles was what an actor was supposed to do, but it was like seeing a side to vem that he'd never seen before.

Everything, from the tone of vis voice, to the grin on vis face, to the very slight change in posture was better than he could have ever imagined.

Fitz was sure that if ve had gone for a lead role, ve would be able to steal the show.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Dex, that was amazing!" He told vem, after ve had finished the audition.

"You… you think so?" Ve murmured, looking a little flustered. (Wait, flustered?)

"Yeah! You were great up there!" He replied, choosing to ignore what vem being flustered could mean.

"It- it was only the audition."

"You'll be getting more practice, it's like…" he paused, trying to find the words. "A preview. If the preview is good, the full thing will also be great."

"If you say so."

"I know you'll do great."

•~•~•~•~•~•

Dex had managed to be casted in the role, and both Fitz and Dex were happy. Dex had to practice vis lines, so Fitz offered to be there to listen. At first, ve seemed hesitant, out of the fear of looking bad, but eventually they accepted the offer.

At first, it was a little awkward. Dex seemed to have difficulties making eye contact with him, and when ve did, ve would seem to lose concentration on what ve was saying. It wasn't just a lesser version of stage fright, because it started to extend to their normal conversations too.

(He was starting to have suspicions, but he hoped it wasn't the case. He didn't want to have to think about that.)

But slowly, ve became more comfortable talking to him. The confidence that had been evident during the audition started to return. Once again, Fitz was in awe.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"These plays are so good," Dex murmured.

Fitz nodded in agreement. At the festival, various schools presented their plays. Each of them were different- one was fantasy, with kingdoms and people trying to survive, another depicted a local issue, and another about what it means to be a family. They were all about different topics, but each of them were spectacular.

"What if ours isn't as good?" Ve whispered.

"We've worked hard on it," he answered. "We'll make sure it's good."

He offered his hand to vem, something that he started doing often after the first time. Ve took it, and they sat on the seats holding hands until it was time for their school to set up everything.

"I have faith in you, okay?" Fitz whispered as ve stood up.

"Thank you." Ve smiled, then left with the other actors.

Fitz looked back towards the stage so he could enjoy the show. Since he wasn't an actor, he didn't have to get up. The play began, and even though he'd seen it multiple times, it still looked impressive. The jokes didn't fail to make him smile.

After it was all over, ve sat back down next to him.

"You did great up there," he told vem.

Ve smiled at him, vis face shining with joy. (Part of him wanted to just smile back, the other part wanted to back away, because of all of these feelings. Instead, he shoved the conflicting feelings away, he could think about them another day.)

•~•~•~•~•~•

It turned out that he didn't get the chance to think about his feelings another day. The two of them lived nearby, so after they were brought back to the school, they decided to walk together.

"Hey Fitz, can I tell you something?" Ve asked.

"Sure, go ahead."

Ve stopped walking, then turned to face him. "I have a crush on you. I've had one since last year."

Despite the fact that he suspected this, he was still shocked. "What?"

"I don't expect you to return my feelings, but I thought… after the play, I finally have the confidence to tell you."

"Since…" he murmured. "Since how long?"

"Since last year," ve replied. "In the beginning, I honestly hated you. I thought you were a spoiled jerk, but I learned that you aren't that, and then my crush happened."

"Oh," he breathed, feeling a little overwhelmed. "I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way."

"It's okay, I just wanted to get it out," ve said, but he could see vis disappointment. "Oh, my house is that way, bye. Good night."

Fitz watched as ve walked down a different path, and he knew that they didn't have to part ways until another few minutes. He felt something like dread build up within him, and he couldn't help but think that he messed up.

•~•~•~•~•~•

After the confession, Dex started to keep vis distance, and Fitz hated it. He liked hanging out with vem, it was nice and comforting. It was like how they were in the beginning of the year, before they finally interacted with each other.

Whenever they had their group hangouts, Sophie, Keefe, Biana and Linh would sit in between them. The distance between them wasn't that huge, but he felt like it was just going to grow more.

It also didn't help that he didn't know how he was feeling. He thought that he had it figured out, he didn't have any romantic feelings towards vem. But every once in a while, he caught himself staring. Dex had seen him do it more than one time, and ve would be the first to look away, looking a little upset.

It would hurt, wouldn't it. I rejected you, and now I'm staring at you. I wish I had an answer for you.

However, he didn't, so he kept quiet and continued to stare longingly.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Okay, what's going on?" Biana asked, slamming his bedroom door open before slamming it shut again.

"What are you talking about?" He asked, hoping that ae wasn't referring to what he thought ae was about to say. "And careful with the door," he added, hoping to get aer off topic.

"Hah, nice try with that, but I'm referring to you and Dex," She replied.

He flinched. Damn it, she's too perceptive. And now she'll definitely know! Well, guess I've got no choice but to tell her.

"We haven't been dating," he explained. "I'm just… ve confessed to me and I'm so confused. I thought… I thought I was aromantic, but all of a sudden I just can't help but look at vem." He sighed, then ran a hand through his hair. "Ve's avoiding me because I rejected vem, except I don't know what my feelings for vem are anymore."

Ae sat down on the bed next to him. "Okay, first off, if you're aromantic, that's great. If you're not, then that's fine too. I can't tell you what you feel, but I can sympathize. Do you remember at the end of elementary and during the beginning of middle school, I kept clinging onto Keefe?"

He nodded.

"Well, I thought I had a crush on him."

"Wait, really?" That was something he didn't know.

"I know better now, I was just admiring someone who I thought was cool and was also pretty. That sounds like a crush to you, doesn't it?"

He nodded slowly.

"Well, it wasn't," she stated. "There's more to a crush than just thinking someone is pretty, otherwise, I'd be crushing on half the school. There's this… feeling inside of you, you feel warm and fuzzy. You find yourself wanting to be with them often, you want to go outside and explore the world with them. You might want to be closer with them than anyone else. That's how I've felt."

He considered that, then tried to compare it to what he'd been feeling.

"It's… similar, I think," he explained. "I like being with vem, and I regret choosing to ignore vem at first. I wish that we could've grown closer before." He closed his eyes, and pictured vem, sitting next to him, their hands linked.

He felt warmth, before it faded into confusion. Biana's explanation seemed right, but he felt like there was something that he was missing.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Since it was summer vacation, it meant that Fitz didn't have to go to school every day and see Dex. While they had hangouts often, Dex often had to babysit vis younger siblings, so he didn't see vem too often.

It was probably a good thing, it meant that he could try and figure out his feelings, without the source of said feelings being around to make everything complicated. (Though, it wasn't really working). At least though, he could figure out how to make things less awkward, because the others were starting to notice something was going on, and he didn't want to be the reason that the atmosphere wasn't pleasant.

He spent a lot of his free time playing the piano. He'd been doing less of it lately, but once he'd started playing not as an obligation, but because he wanted to, he found that playing it was a good stress reliever. He could immerse himself in the light sounds of the piano, distract himself from all the confusion he felt.

Sometimes though, when he played the piano, he thought of the songs that he often heard- whether from school or just Biana- and murmured the lyrics. He tried playing the songs that he knew were about romance, because maybe he could figure out how he felt about the experiences that other people had.

He was still conflicted though. Some songs it seemed like the person was oddly possessive over the one that they loved, the feeling of love so strong and intense and suffocating. Whatever he felt towards Dex was strong, but not like that. Other songs were a lot more casual, talking about how the warmth that came from being with the one you loved.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He really hoped he could find an answer, and soon.

•~•~•~•~•~•

While he had no answer, interactions with Dex did become easier. He wasn't sure if it was because he was getting used to what he was feeling, was coming closer to figuring it out, or he was just getting better at suppressing his feelings.

The next year of school had started, and it meant a new play for the drama club. Both him and Dex joined the club, just like the previous year.

Most of the other playwrights were people he was familiar with from the previous year, but there was a new face. This year, they agreed on something less realistic- superheroes. It was interesting to see how the story evolved, from a joke about the main character "Grey" being morally grey, to adding two antagonists with strong superpowers, which then ended up focusing less on the main character, but more between the relationship between two siblings. It was absolutely incredible to see what they were able to come up with.

Coming up with a plot was only the beginning though, but this time, he had more experience writing, so he was able to contribute even more to the story.

Writing the dialogue could be difficult sometimes, as some of the lines felt too dramatic, or not emotional enough. He tried saying them out loud, but he wasn't that good at voice acting, so he sounded too robotic for his liking.

"It sounds like you're writing something for the play," Dex said during one lunch. "Do you want me to say it out loud for you?"

Fitz was surprised by the offer. Whole they were talking more, it was usually in a group. So for Dex to be coming to him, it meant that their friendship could be better.

"That would be nice, thank you. I'm trying to write a monologue about the mayor, addressing the people about how his sister betrayed him and has been working for the rebels. But right before that, it's his reaction to the betrayal."

"Is he angry, or more sad?"

"Bit of both, and then when he makes his speech to the audience he reveals an invention that'd be used to stop the rebels, so while he's calm, he should also sound vaguely menacing."

"Is the mayor the villain?"

"It's complicated. The mayor's sibling has superpowers, while he doesn't. He fears that the powers are going to cause him to lose his status, so he creates laws that impact people with powers. Those people then rebel so they can have proper rights, sometimes violently, which to the mayor, proves that people with powers are a threat. The mayor also has been looking into an invention that can get rid of powers, because he wants to "cure" his sibling."

"He does awful things for the sake of love," Dex guessed.

"Exactly. Oh, here"--he turned his phone screen so ve could see the screen--"the script is here for you to read."

Ve started off murmuring, trying to get a feel for the scene. As ve re-read the scene over and over again, ve spoke louder, emotion seeping into vis tone.

"Thank you Dex," he said, after it was over. "That helped a lot.

"No problem. It was fun."

The bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period.

"I've got to head to class now, see you later!" Without thinking, Fitz leaned towards vem, before he realized what he was doing.

Was I about to kiss vem on the cheek?

He couldn't tell if it was just instinct- he always kissed his mom on the cheek if either of them had to go somewhere- or if he genuinely wanted to show affection like that.

He abruptly turned away and quickly left, not daring to look back and see if ve had noticed or not.

•~•~•~•~•~•

It turned out that Dex hadn't noticed the almost-cheek-kiss, and Fitz was relieved. But it did get him thinking. If he and Dex were to date, would he be comfortable with kissing vem on the lips? He knew that for the most part, kissing was common in romantic relationships. After a few moments of thinking, he decided that he didn't want that.

It wasn't like a switch had been flipped (he knew that kissing wasn't required in romantic relationships), he did finally begin to have his answer.

His hangouts with Dex slowly began to go back to normal, as they fell back into the dynamic from before the confession. Except this time, there was less blushing and being embarrassed, because this time, there wasn't a crush to hide.

Sometimes Dex acted out the scenes he helped write. They didn't do that too often though, since Dex was going to audition, and ve didn't want to have any sort of advantage.

It felt nice to be with Dex, it was comforting and fun. When he tried imagining Dex dating someone, he found that he didn't mind that too much, as long as they'd be able to hang out together (he was annoyed by the fact that he hadn't tried to imagine that earlier).

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Hey, Dex," Fitz called out. "About the confession…" Despite having his answer, he was a little nervous, because neither of them had actually ever discussed the confession or the aftermath.

Dex blinked, then pursed vis lips. "What about it?"

"I know I did already reject you, but well, you know about the stuff after… I was confused. Because I like being with you, and I'll admit, you look beautiful, but I'd been unable to actually figure out if it was romantic attraction or not. It wasn't, so here's my official rejection. Hope it doesn't change anything between us again."

There was a pause, then ve snorted. "You do know that you already rejected me, right? I mean, I get what you're saying, but I've been working to get over you. Hasn't quite worked yet, but I'm not devastated or anything."

"That's good, I feel better about this."

"Your explanation also makes sense, I mean, it took me forever to realize that I don't like girls. Attraction is confusing."

Fitz laughed. "You can say that again. I'm aromantic, but I think part of the confusion is that I like the idea of romance."

"So when you have someone confess to you," ve continued. "You're wondering if you should have accepted the confession."

He nodded. "Exactly."

"And we'll continue to stay as friends, right?"

"Yeah, that sounds like a good plan."

He could always figure out more of the details later.

•~•~•~•~•~•

With everything settled, Fitz and Dex grew closer. Auditions for the play drew near, and the actors were instructed to think about who they were going to be playing.

"I kinda want to play the mayor?" Dex said. "I mean, I've seen very small bits of the dialogue from other characters, but I did have fun doing that monologue the first time."

"You should do it then," Fitz told vem.

"Yeah but… it's a more major role, and I'm scared of messing it up. I haven't really had much experience in the main cast, let alone as an antagonist."

"I'm sure you could do it," Fitz said, putting his hands on vis shoulders. "Your acting helped me, and I'm proud of how far you've come. Worst case scenario, you don't get the role, but you know how nice our teacher is."

"She is nice," ve agreed.

"So you know she won't be harsh."

"I guess, yeah."

•~•~•~•~•~•

The scene that had been used for the audition wasn't one that Dex had read, which made Fitz feel a little bit better, because the last thing that he wanted was for vem to make it because of an unfair advantage. He knew that ve'd feel guilty about it.

The scene was when the mayor's sister left to secretly join one of the rebel meetings, and then he talked to himself about how much he hated the rebels and how he was going to make sure that his citizens would be protected from those who had superpowers.

The edge in Dex's tone was similar to how Fitz had imagined the mayor to sound like- sweet, but it was clear that the mayor was menacing. The reasoning was somewhat noble, to protect the citizens, but what wasn't considered was that people with superpowers were human too. The mayor was the one who ended up causing damage, while trying to stop the damage from happening.

He thought about the ending, and wondered how it would look like for Dex (or another actor) to perform during the end, when everything that the mayor had done led to the deaths of his sister and his friend (well technically, the friend actually lived, but at the time, he didn't know that). The mayor would go through a revelation that everything he was doing was wrong, and he needed to fix everything.

The actors who were auditioning all seemed capable of performing the role well, and Fitz wondered who would make it.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Dex managed to get the role of the mayor, and just like the previous year, Dex often practiced in front of him. Without the fear of crushes, it meant that ve was significantly more comfortable, and ve was able to do a better job.

There were points when ve got nervous, but Fitz was there to help encourage them. And despite the fact that he'd done this before, he watched vem practice in awe, because he still couldn't believe that he was able to watch this, watch someone put so much passion into acting out something he helped to write.

It felt like all of these emotions were contagious, because sometimes, it almost felt like he could feel Dex's own emotions. When ve did the monologue about being betrayed, he could feel that heartbreak and anger.

Or if Fitz was in a good mood, it spread to Dex, vis voice would sound just a little bit lighter, and during their group hangouts, ve'd talk a little bit more than usual.

The opposite applied too- sometimes Dex came to school, angry at vis siblings. While Fitz wouldn't feel irritated, necessarily, but he did find himself needing a little more quiet.

Fitz wondered if that was just them being in tune with each other, or if it was the work of something more. (In his first year, he'd joined the strings ensemble to play the piano part, and had witnessed Keefe and Tam's rivalry, but nobody could deny that when it was time to be serious, they played really well. While neither of them had found their soulmate, he wouldn't be surprised if they were.)

No matter what it was though, he knew that he was glad that he made the decision to befriend Dex.

•~•~•~•~•~•

During some of their free time, Fitz and Dex would hang out in his room and watch tv. Ever since all of this, he found himself focusing more on the writing when it came to the shows.

Sometimes what they watched was simple, others weren't. Some were cartoons, and some were play adaptations to some of the shows he'd watched before.

"Do you ever think about what you'll be doing in the future?" Fitz asked.

Dex nodded. "Yeah. It's hard to imagine it, though. Is there anything you want to do in the future?"

Fitz laid down against the bed they were sitting on. "I don't know, really. I mean, I think writing would be fun. If I got to write a play adaptation to a TV show I liked, I'd be really happy with that."

Ve hummed, laying down next to him. "You can try going for it. I think you'd do well. I know you didn't write the entirety of the plays, but they were fun to act out."

"Maybe. I guess we'll see. What about you?"

"I think voice acting would be fun. I could do stuff for animation, it seems less stressful than doing something live action. Then again, I don't really know yet."

"I think you'd do a good job," he said, before he linked their fingers together.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I feel so weird," Dex said.

"Can you describe it?"

"I feel anxious, we're presenting the play in just a few hours, but part of me doesn't feel that scared, and that just makes me more worried."

"The dress rehearsal and the one we presented at school were great," he assured. "Don't you remember the applause?"

"That's different. I know we've done this before, but like, we only won one award last year when there were a crap ton of them. I don't want to be the reason why we don't advance in the competition this year either."

"We'll do our best, okay? You can do that much, right?" He asked, gently grabbing one of vis hands.

Ve nodded, determination flashing in vis eyes. "Okay, we'll do our best."

•~•~•~•~•~•

Their play began, and it was going incredibly well- it felt like everyone was performing even better than usual. While he really liked the comedic play from the previous year, the lighting, special effects, and the emotional speeches made the play feel better in terms of quality.

It neared the end- when the mayor was about to learn that his friend was alive. But as Dex spoke, Fitz noticed that something was off. Ve performed fine, but one of vis lines was slightly wrong. Ve must have noticed, because as ve crouched down, ve froze, vis eyes darting side to side. Ve picked up the hand of the "dead body", vis breaths visible.

From far away, it could have been interpreted as disbelief, that maybe the character was noticing something. But Fitz knew that wasn't the case, and even he began to feel nervous.

Ve had started to panic a lot less with all the practice, but that didn't mean that vis stage fright didn't disappear.

Dex, I know you can do it. I believe in you. Just get through this ending, and it'll be over. You can do it.

That nervous feeling that he'd felt disappeared in an instant. For a few moments, he felt nothing. Then there was shock, so overwhelming that for a moment, he couldn't breathe.

Dex spoke, vis lines delivered without any stutter, and there was so much happiness in vis tone, more than Fitz had heard in a while. There was that breathless sort of relief, which mainly came from receiving good news after a long time. There was no way that it could be faked so easily. Especially not when ve had been panicking just moments ago.

Fitz smiled at vem, those same emotions that Dex was feeling could be felt by him too. He had no idea what was going on, but whatever it was, Fitz was glad that it had happened.

When ve walked off stage after the last few scenes were over, he heard a voice in his mind.

Wonderboy, did you know that we're soulmates?

It was Dex's voice, but ve was nowhere near hi-

He caught on to that last word. Soulmates. Soulmates. That word repeated in his brain.

Yeah, soulmates. It shocked me, but not so much the soulmates part but more the "your voice is in my brain" part. How do you feel about all of this?

Despite being a writer, he had no words to explain how he felt. He was elated, happy, but none of those words felt like it did justice.

Okay, I think I can tell. Just know that I'm happy you're my soulmate too. Also, you might wanna get up on stage to bow, we can talk later.

Fitz stood up quickly, not realizing that the others were getting up. Yeah, we'll do that.

The festival itself wasn't that long, and their school was one of the later schools to present, but still, it felt like such a long time away. He had to actively concentrate on the other plays, otherwise he was going to get lost in thought, or end up spending the entire time mentally communicating with Dex.

Finally though, it ended, and once they were dropped back at school, they started their walk home together.

"Are you shocked that we're soulmates?" Dex asked.

"Not really. You and I have gotten really close over these two years, I don't think I can imagine my soulmate being anyone else," he replied. "Though I do still think that part of me is processing."

Ve snorted. "That reveal literally snapped me out of my spiraling. If you think you had no time to process it, imagine being on stage and there's just a voice. I'm lucky I didn't jump in shock, and managed to get through the rest of that."

"Oh, yeah, that would be something that would scare me. But I think we should talk about what comes next."

"We already decided that we aren't gonna date," Dex told him.

He nodded. "And I've thought about this for a while, but I do want to stay close with you. With the knowledge that you're my soulmate, that makes me want it more. I don't know what exactly either of our stories will be like in the future, but I want you to be one of the main characters in my story."

Dex looked down, vis face flushing red. "You- you're such a dork, you know that? How do you say something so cheesy? But… I can agree too."

Fitz felt his own face heating up a little bit, and was glad that his skin was dark enough for it to not show. It did sound a little cheesy.

"At least we have that much settled. Our stories are still in progress, so we can always wait before adding more plot points."

Ve laughed. "You make it sound so dramatic."

"I'm a writer!"

•~•~•~•~•~•

"So you look happy," Biana remarked as he entered the living room that same night. "I think you somehow look happier than you did last year."

He could still feel the smile on his face. "Dex is my soulmate."

"Wait, really? That's so cool! What happened?"

Fitz recounted the events, then began to describe how it felt. He was sort of able to feel those emotions before he realized, but once the bond was truly established, he was conscious of Dex's emotions, and the other way around. Every once in a while, he could hear Dex's voice in his mind.

"That's amazing!" Ae squealed. "Do you think that either Sophie or Linh could end up as my soulmate? That would be so cool! Even if neither of them aren't, I could see if my soulmate would join the polycule. Even if they don't, I'd be fine with that."

"Both of them could be your soulmates," he said.

"They could," she agreed. "But you know that multiple soulmates are super rare. I'd be so happy if they were both my soulmates though."

"I guess you'd just have to wait and see," he said. "Just like I did."

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I hope our school advances this time!" Dex whispered to him, as they sat down to watch the award ceremony for the plays.

It turned out that the play didn't manage to make it past the district showcase, but it wasn't too saddening. They could definitely understand why some of the other schools had managed to make it.

But just because they didn't make it past the round didn't mean that there weren't awards to be given. The director of their play won an award- and Fitz agreed with that decision. They had done a really good job with everything, including the choreographing of the superpowers.

The other award that their school received was one that Fitz was not surprised about. The award was for an actor and their talents, and he was proud as Dex walked onto the stage to receive the certificate.

I can't believe this is happening! Dex said.

I can, he replied. You did such a good job.

For the rest of that evening, neither of them stopped smiling.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Hey Dex, can you come act out this part?" Fitz called out.

When there was no reply, he called out for vem mentally. Dex, can you act out a part I'm writing please?

The door to the other bedroom opened, and ve walked into his room. "Sorry, was listening to music."

"That's fine."

"Which part do you want me to act out?"

He turned the laptop screen around so ve could read.

"Broken Harmony, right?" Ve asked.

He nodded. Then he watched as vis posture changed, vis face wearing a cocky grin that resembled Keefe's. When he'd first seen the look, he'd thought that it looked odd on vem, but over the years, he learned more and more about vem. Plus, ve had become a voice actor, and had taken on various roles.

Ve recited the dialogue, and from there, Fitz was able to continue the conversation.

"Thank you," he said out of habit, even though at this point, it was something ve would do everything ve was asked.

Ve smiled. "I'll be back in my room if you need me, okay?"

He nodded. "Okay. Love you."

"Love you too."

•~•~•~•~•~•

I don't leave many notes in the end but that scene where Fitz almost kisses vem on the cheek instinctively is actually something that's happened to me when I was questioning whether I was crushing on my friend or not (it was so embarrassing when I realized. I was in front of multiple people too, so I'm relieved that nobody noticed). Idk why I've decided to share this now, but as I said, I projected a lot onto Fitz this time

Kotlc taglist: @keefeinnit @impostertamsong @my-swan-song @subrosasteath

Want to be added/removed from the kotlc masterlist? Just let me know!

#fitz vacker #dex dizznee #biana vacker #queerplatonic fedex #fedex #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fanfiction #ravi writes a thing

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anneshirlxy · 5 years

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AWAE Fic Recs- Full List

Hi! Here is the full list of all the fics I recommend. I will post a more organized way to look at it later tonight, but for now, here are all the fics! On here you can find the author, rating, length (word count and chapter) and a summary directly from ao3. These fics are in no particular order, and everything in italics is my dumb comments! Also, I am hopefully going to keep updating this so please send me fic recs!

Rating Key- G: General Audience, T: Teen and up, M: Mature

1. Still He Offers the Sea Shell By: Chash (@ponyregrets) Rating: T Length: 5.1k- 1/1

Summary: Gilbert Blythe is back from his semester abroad, and he wants to meet this Anne Shirley he's heard so much about.

First fic I ever read. A classic modern au (book verse)

2.Strangely Are Our Souls Constructed By: Fandom_freakout, vocallywritten Rating: G Length: 8k-2/2

Summary: In a desperate attempt to get Charlie Sloane to leave her alone, Anne posts a notice of her own. Or,Anne and Gilbert abuse the Take Notice board, much to the amusement, and frustration of the people around them.

Best take notice fic ever! Anne and Gilbert get into a take notice board battle and at first, it’s snarky and sarcastic, but then they start complementing each other and it’s beautiful.

3.say my name, don't ever stop By: anbethmarie Rating: G Length: 13.5k-5/5

Summary: The gossip in Avonlea is insidious, making Gilbert think it's a good idea to initiate a fake courtship of Anne. Anne makes him promise it won't affect their relationship (because, obviously, they're just friends).Plot twist: it affects their relationship.

Also has a sequel you can read it Here

4.Mistletoe Madness By: avonleaace Rating: G Length: 3k- 1/1

Summary: To bring a bit of fun to the classroom on Christmas Eve, Miss Stacey hangs up some mistletoe. Anne and Gilbert have a bet that Gilbert can make it through the day without getting kissed. Will he succeed? cuteness ensues

5.The Secret of Distance By: Lil_Readhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: T Length: 26k- 7/?

Summary: Anne and Gilbert embark on their journeys, but stay close to each other at heart. Courting across 1000 miles isn't easy, but they're more than willing to step up to the task. (A post s3 story).

I consider this fic canon. This is season 4.

6.Avonlea's Summer of 1880 Great Game of Capture the Flag! By: christah88 (@christah88) Rating: G Length: 14k- 1/1

Summary: Moody Spurgeon has gathered all the boys in Avonlea between 12 and 18 at the softball diamond for a game of capture the flag. Subterfuge, reconnaissance, undercover missions, and just a dash of chicken-coop-climbing combine to make this a game they will not soon forget. Why? Because Anne Shirley-Cuthbert wants to play, of course, and she demands that the rest of the girls be allowed to play, too.

This one reads like it could be a part of the show. There is also a prequel that you can read Here

7.Limerence By: Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles) Rating: G Length: 12k- 2/2

Summary: Limerence (n) - The state of being infatuated with another person. Gilbert and Anne featuring paint, photography, mutual staring, glitter and a very supportive Diana Barry

8.truth or dare By: thearkdelinquents Rating: NR Length: 7k-1/1

Summary: “Anne, truth or dare?” Josie smirked at Anne, a devious glint in her eye. Lifting her chin and looking Josie in the eye, Anne chose, “Dare.” She could take whatever Josie had to throw at her.The smirk on Josie’s face grew larger and Anne was sure she had picked the wrong thing. Without breaking eye contact or even taking a second the think about it, Josie said, “I dare you to go behind that door and kiss Gilbert Blythe. On the lips.”

I love the show New Girl with all my heart so I had to put this one.

9.When the Sun Begins to Fall By: megs368 (@onedayiwillflyfree) Rating: G Length: 76k- 13/14

Summary: "Long time no see Carrots."After nine months of studying at The Sorbonne, Gilbert Blythe felt that he was ready for his upcoming graduation and wedding. That is until his brother arrives, informing him his childhood best friend is gravely ill.

this fic hurts you

10.wishful thinking (mindless dreaming)By: bruadarxch (@rootedbutfl0wing) Rating: G Length: 12k- 5/5

Summary: “She didn’t mean to, but a comment led to a friend of a friend’s profile and then she sees it. She sees him. Gilbert Blythe. Her old archnemesis turned friend turned... nothing.” Anne is bored for the first time in her life and falls down the Instagram rabbit hole. She finds a familiar face.

Anne finds Gilbert’s Instagram and they end up reconnecting at college and then drama ensues. It’s really cute then it gets kinda sad and angsty and then it’s really cute again. I love it.

11.wonderstruck By: bruadarxch ( @rootedbutfl0wing) Rating: G Length: 14k-4/4

Summary: Delphine Lacroix raves about Miss Shirley and her crazy lessons. Her uncle Gilbert thinks his niece surely has an overactive imagination, but one day he has to pick her up from school and a certain redhead covered in paint from head to toe crashes into him. OR: Gilbert Blythe puts his foot in it when he meets Anne in every universe. Luckily for him, she didn't have any heavy objects around in this one.

Modern au where Anne is Dellies teacher and Gilbert fall head over heels in love with her. Soooo cute, I love. Also, cue Diana berry being the best roommate ever.

12.Imagining Something Worthwhile By: remylebae (@remylebub) Rating: T Length: 148k-3l/36

Summary: “Because when you are imagining, you might as well imagine something worthwhile”- Anne of Green Gables.

Anne is struggling through her mid-twenties, living with her two best friends from high school and starting a new job as an eighth grade English teacher. Just as she's starting to figure this whole teaching thing out, she finds an unexpected someone thrust back into her life.

This is the boy I spent 7 hours reading. It’s a modern au where Anne is a struggling teacher and Gilbert is a struggling med student and they fall back in love. Honestly, the best part of the fic is the best friend relationship between Cole, Anne, and Diana. It’s some pretty wholesome and domestic stuff.

13.You're such a big mess (And I love you) By: gayrefrain (@gayrefrain) Rating: T Length: 6k-1/1

Summary: Anne and Jerry get arrested.

This is one of the first fics I ever read and I loved it so much I read it 2 more times. Modern au where Anne and Jerry get arrested, they bicker like siblings and Gilbert is so worried for her!!! It’s a pre-established relationship and it’s so fluffy and cute ahh. An all-time fave.

14.five days of Christmas By: thearkdelinquents Rating: N/R Length: 4k-1/1

Summary: SHIRBERT SECRET SANTA!!!!

15.Drive Me Crazy By: serendipitous_rambles(@carrotsofavonlea) Rating: G

Length: 18k-15/15

Summary: Anne Shirley Cuthbert and Gilbert Blythe are next door neighbours, but they despise each other. It didn't used to always be this way, in fact at one time they were best friends. But things change following a personal tragedy for Gilbert, and by high school the two are practically strangers. Anne's life seemed to be going well: she was in charge of organising the school Centennial dance, she was accepted into college, and she was dating one of the most handsome boys in school: Roy Gardner. Only he breaks up with her mere weeks before the dance. When Gilbert's girlfriend Winifred also breaks up with him, Anne comes up with a crazy scheme to get their ex's back: pretend to date to make them jealous. Simple right? If only they don't kill each other first...

The modern fake dating au of your dreams. Includes an iconic scene from 10 things I hate about you.

16.ours are the moments I play in the dark / wild and fluorescent / come home to my heart By: anbethmarie Rating: T Length: 8k-3/3

Summary: Avonlea, August 1914 – England declares war on Germany. Anne Shirley shows up rain-drenched on Gilbert Blythe’s doorstep and learns her fiancé is due to leave for the Western front in a week’s time.All Anne wanted was to have the memory of a few quiet moments alone with Gilbert. The fact that she would get wet through on the way to his house and have to wear his shirt while waiting for her clothes to dry did not enter into her calculations.

This one is basically an episode of a drama tv show and I’m not complaining. Anne ends up pregnant with Gilbert’s baby and then he goes to war and they lose touch and he doesn’t know he has a child. It’s a whole thing. It’s mostly angst but reunions are chef's kiss (especially ones when they find out their father).

17.Trippingly, on the tongue By: meals Rating:G Length: 8k-1/1

Summary: Gilbert goes to Paris, Anne goes to Queens, and years later they both return to Avonlea and meet again. They should be older and wiser, but when neither of ever admits to their mistakes and misunderstandings, will they ever sort themselves out?

Such a good season three “what if” fic. I’ve read it so many times and I can’t get tired of it.

18.shy daydreams & stardust By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: G Length: 16k-3/3

Summary: She can't help how he makes her magic spiral out of control whenever he's around, but maybe she can help him when his own abilities bloom out of nowhere like a lily pad in a teacup. Magic AU!

Anne and Gilbert are both magic and she teaches him about his powers. Very cute!

19.The Post-Exam Ritual of Merriment and Ridiculousness By: wanderinginthewoods Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Anne, still slightly tipsy, tries to focus as she runs after Gilbert to give him a piece of her mind--but that's not the easiest thing to do when she can barely get her own thoughts in order.

The characterization of Anne drunk is so good and the funniest thing

20.I Belong to You By: hoddypeak (@shirbertndisney) Rating: T Length: 30k-12/?

Summary: Arranged marriage AU. Anne always wanted to have her own love story, but not one that's decided for her. She doesn't want to fall in love with Gilbert, but after being thrown into many awkward situations with him, the walls around her begin to tumble down. It certainly isn't an easy ride for either of them.

21.Little White Lies… By: writingshirbert Rating: G Length: 16k-10/?

Summary: When Anne agrees to doing Gilbert a favor, she has no idea what she's getting herself into...

A modern fake dating au where Anne and Gilbert are best friends and college roommates that have to pretend to date. Mostly angst so far, but well written. Also, Gilbert seems like a bit of a douche but we will look past that.

22.All my stumbling phrases never amounted to anything worth this feeling By: moonlightconstellations (@leiaslightsaber) Rating: T Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: Anne realizes she's in love with Gilbert. In typical Anne fashion, she reacts by yelling.

I just really love Anne yelling at Gilbert

23.Anne of Hogwarts By: serendipitous_rambles (@carrotsofavonlea) Rating: G Length: 24k- 14/14

Summary: Muggleborn Anne couldn't believe her luck when at 11 she is adopted by the Cuthberts, who introduce her to the world of magic and Hogwarts.Her wild imagination gets her into trouble more often than not, but she doesn't let that stop her. She sparks up an academic rivalry with classmate Gilbert Blythe, and finds a kindred spirit in Diana Barry.However it's not all smooth sailing, with trials and tribulations throughout the years as Anne seeks to discover everything Hogwarts has to offer. It may not always be easy, but life at Hogwarts becomes the greatest adventure of Anne's life.

As a potterhead I am required to put one of the best Harry Potter x AWAE fics on here. Also the only one that (in my opinion) gets the sorting right (gryffindor!Anne, Hufflepuff!Gilbert).

24.This Home is Vast By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordeila) Rating: G Length: 6k-1/1

Summary: Delphine Lacroix wants to write a tale of adventure and romance, so naturally she writes the story of how Uncle Gil and Aunt Anne fell in love.

This one is so creative! Fics starring Dellie? Sign me up

25.i picture it, soft, and i ache By: boos (@boosfic) Rating: G Length: 12k-1/1

Summary: Anne and Gilbert accidentally end up snowed in at Green Gables

Pure and perfect fluff

26.the world is brighter than the sun (now that you're here) By: blujamas (@kyleslei) Rating: G Length: 12k-1/1

Summary: Long-lost family offers Anne Shirley-Cuthbert a chance at education in a prestigious university across the sea. Before she can go, however, there is one last loose end to tie up: Gilbert Blythe.

27.more myself than I am (whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same) By: anbethmarie Rating: G Length: 6k- 2/2

Summary: Anne and Gilbert have not seen each other since the fateful night of the Queen's entrance exams. She assumes he must by now be engaged to Winifred. He still assumes her drunken babbling meant she doesn't care. A chance encounter forces them to revise the truth of these assumptions.

28.a ridge of lighted heath By: peterstank (@peter-stank) Rating: T Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: He’d overheard her talking once with Diana Barry. He hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but it couldn’t be helped given their proximity. He’d heard it, the bride of adventure, the wife of nature. And how fitting is it that she who has chosen nature as her most fitting suitor is more beautiful than any earthly thing he’s ever known? The freckles on her face are fit to rival all the stars in the sky. Her eyes are oceans overflowing, they are rippling streams and shining waters. She could torch him with her hair and he would happily turn to ashes, to be the Earth, to be loved by her just once.

29.One Iced Green Tea Latte for Ann By: rosesonraindrops Rating: G Length: 6k-2/2

Summary: Anne Shirley Cuthbert lives for three things: her family, Diana Barry, and Iced Green Tea Lattes. However, Gilbert Blythe, the barista at Anne and Diana's favorite coffee shop, never seems to spell her name correctly, no matter how many times she's told him the right way to spell it. Or, Diana and Anne get coffee, and Gilbert tries his very best to charm Anne with his latte-making skills.

30,but when he walks in i am loved - i am loved By: nosecoffee (@nose-coffee) Rating: T Length: 24k- 1/1

Summary:“Marry me.” Anne drops a plate. She barely reacts to that - Marilla can berate her later, for now Anne has a very good reason to have broken her expensive china. She whirls on him. Gilbert’s not kneeling or anything. He's just standing there, in her kitchen doorway, with a painfully earnest look on his face. “Are you kidding?” She says, laughing nervously. He shakes his head.

Fun story: I once spent hours looking for this fic and almost started crying when I didn’t think I could find it. So you know it’s good.

31. from friends to this (you're the one i want) By: cressisaqueen (@cressisaqueen) Rating: T Length: 4k- 1/1

Summary: new message from 1 (489) 5987 - 2351

1 (489) 5987 - 2351 [3:29 pm]: hey, it's gilbert blythe from professor stacy's class

GiLbErT bLyThE [3:30 pm]: when should we meet up to work on the project?

A fic told entirely through text messages! Really creative and good. Paper Rings is my favorite Taylor Swift song, so that also helps. It also has a sequel where Anne and Gilbert get married that you can read Here

32.Anne of Nova Scotia By: coffee666 (@frappuccinio) Rating: G Length: 32k- 5/?

Summary: In an alternate life, neither Anne nor Gilbert were orphaned. Yet, they still found their way to one another.

I’ve never seen a tag better than “I’m not claiming to know how boats work”

33.If the Sea Should Part By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: G Length: 35k-6/6

Summary: Anne finds herself caught up in whirl of romance and adventure after rescuing Dr. Gilbert Blythe from the sea during a storm. She should let him go, but when she finds out Billy Andrews is plotting to take Gilbert's life and estate, she realizes there's nothing that can keep her from protecting him.

34.charity (who is helping who?) By: antspaul Rating: T Length: 10k- 1/1

Summary: AU in which Anne is a little more poor but just as vivacious while Gilbert is a lot more wealthy and a little more cowardly.

Kind of a sugar daddy au, but not really. Told through letters which is really cool.

35.i found my voice (in her sweet melodies) By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordelia) Rating: G Length: 2k- 1/1

Summary: Christmas with Gilbert has never been traditional, but it always manages to steal Anne's breath away.

36.Welcome to Toronto By: simonsjumpers Rating: G Length: 13k- 4/4

Summary: Anne visits Toronto, buys trousers, charms everyone she meets and engages in a book-duel with Gilbert... And Gilbert can't help but, kind-of, accidentally, propose.

A very good awae after season 3 continuation fic. Anne is a complete badass and Gilbert is hopelessly in love with her.

37.it goes on and on By: morebooksplease Rating: G Length: 3k- 1/1

Summary: in which Gilbert lists all the reasons he loves Anne.

38.bless the broken road (that led me straight to you) By: cornerinthepouringrain Rating: G Length: 3k- 1/1

Summary: She said she’s never been to the coast, and he volunteered to take her, because he’s an idiot with no filter and because he selfishly, despicably, wants (needs) all of her firsts to be with him. Or Gilbert Blythe decides to take Anne Shirley on a road trip, and hates himself for it.

ON GOD I love this one shot so much!! It’s just Anne and Gilbert on a road trip. It’s Gilbert POV and my man is whipped. After I read this I immediately read it again I love it!

39.your glow (against the burning embers of my fiery soul) By: abigaylefayth (@pterparkcr) Rating: T Length: 13k- 2/2

Summary: the enemies to lovers fake dating shirbert au nobody asked for

Another really good modern fake dating au!!! This author also wrote one of the best awae twitter aus, that you can read Here

40.Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same By: Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles) Rating: T Length: 1k- 1/1

Summary: Look, Anne Shirley-Cuthbert wasn't heartbroken. She was, for like a day, but then she had mustered all the power a Marilla glare could contain and got over it. Did she still love Gilbert? Sure. But alas, she was a summer storm, and he a winter sun. In which Anne tries to move on, but a certain hazel eyed boy won't let her.

41.the road not taken By: melissa13 (@annesurelyblythe) Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Years after the events of Season 3, a chance encounter in a bookstore brings Gilbert face-to-face with an old flame causing him to reflect on his new marriage. Features Anne and Gilbert being adorable newlyweds.

Winnies a darling and Gilbert is such a proud husband. When Winfred says “love looks good on you Blythe” l lose my mind

42.Maybe The Universe Has Other Plans By: Cones_McMurphy Rating: G Length: 2k- 1/1

Summary: Four times Gilbert Blythe tries to propose to Anne Shirley and fails, and the one time he doesn't try and succeed

This one is actually green gables fables which is a modern au told through vlogs and social media that you can watch on YouTube right now! Anyway, even though it’s not Anne with an e it’s just Gilbert trying to propose to Anne and it’s very cute!

43.be still my foolish heart (don't ruin this on me) By: theatrythms (@fairrobb, @smearclouds) Rating: G Length: 5k- 1/1

Summary: (The idea was always, always, always a bad one, but it sounded so romantical, so whimsical; to throw a stunt for all of her friends and get to spend time with Gilbert in the process.) Or; fake-dating, and the aftermath.

44.one look in your eyes and i found my favourite colour By: simonsjumper Rating: G Length: 5k- 3/?

Summary: au where everyone can only see in black and white until a moment between them and their soulmate triggers colour gradually appearing into both of their worlds (and yes, it happens during dance practice)

45.Of Tongue and Pen By: piperholmes Rating: G Length: 5k- 2/2

Summary: When Gilbert returns Anne’s pen, he is reminded of what’s important and what it means to live a passionate life. He finally understands he needs to ask the right questions. Now featuring an epilogue!

46.this, and my heart beside By: fruitwhirl (@ametroepya) Rating: G Length: 6k- 1/2

Summary: It’s three months in Toronto before she runs into him. Or rather, he runs into her. Well, okay, there is very little running involved at all.

Gilbert and Anne becoming friends in Toronto together!

47.Those With Wit and Learning Will Always Find Their Kind(red spirits)

By: WideScopeofImagination Rating: G Length: 126k- 5/7

Summary: Anne Shirley thinks its a dream beyond her wildest imagination come true when she learns she's a witch and can attend Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.There are still challenges, of course.Or: How Anne has to keep solving magical disasters with muggle common sense, and finds her kindred spirits along the way

48.all of the dreams that get harder, all of the things that I offer you By: anbethmarie Rating: G Length: 7k-3/3

Summary: Anne receives proposals of marriage from various and undesirable quarters. Gilbert Blythe naturally happens to stumble upon her immediately afterwards every time.

49.Time and Tide By: jacksparrow589 (@js589) Rating: G-M Length: 35k- 8 works

Summary: The Modern AU that nobody wanted and nobody asked for that just keeps on spawning new tales.

This is a series of 8 works (all fantastic) so i just put the entire thing here. Modern au set in college. Check the author's recommended reading order!

50.a rose amongst thorns By: not_so_weary_pilgrim Rating: G Length: 7k-3/3

Summary: Anne swallows, so hard that it hurts. His head is bent over her hand, and she suddenly realizes that with all the growing he’s done in the past year or so the top of his head is an uncommon sight for her. In fact, the last time she saw those dark curls from this vantage point was when he bowed after their dance practice at school.She nearly flinches away from memories of that golden afternoon, when Gilbert’s eyes never left hers, when she was only vaguely aware of anyone else being in the room, when he pulled her closer than the dance required but it still wasn’t close enough.

Anne gets hit on the face and doctor gilbert in action!!!! He is way too worried about her but it’s very cute and well written.

51.doctor's visit By: seashel Rating: G Length: 1k-1/1

Summary: turns out, gilbert isn't the only one afraid of needles.

Short modern au where Gilbert takes Anne to the doctors. High key the main reason this fic is on here is because he calls her baby.

52.Takes the Cake By: bookwormforalways (@bookwormforalways) Rating: T Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Anne and Gilbert, finally happily married, bake a cake to celebrate two months of being married.

53.to look in somebody's eyes, to light up the skies (to open the world and send it reeling) By: lovishq Rating: G Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: Anne Shirley's imaginary friends, fanciful names and women carved out of magic and fairytales are remnants of past lives, and they are all drawn to every Gilbert Blythe like moth to a flame.

Ok, this one is like really cool. It’s this whole idea where Anne and Gilbert keep falling in love in different lifetimes but it’s always tragic until it isn’t. It’s really well written and just cool.

54.I don't have a choice (but I'd still choose you) By: writergirl8 Rating: T Length: 6k-1/1

Summary: Anne knows now what it feels like to have someone looking at you like you are the most beautiful thing in the world.

I had to shorten the summary because its just so long, but basically this is a beautifully written fic that's just shirbert being fluff after season 3

55.everything you wanted, everything you don't By: theystayalive Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: And finally, when everything in his life quieted for just a moment, his heart molded his million thoughts into one word: Anne. In which Gilbert finds his way home.

56.that's the kindof love (i've been dreaming of) By: metsuryuogi (@natsujpg) Rating: G Length: 12k-1/1

Summary: In which Anne and Gilbert spend their first year together, and apart.

A really cute post season three fic! It also has a sequel that you can read Here

57.A Very Tragic, Romantical Secret (Understanding of a Pre-) Engagement By: christah8 Rating: G Length: 5k, 1/1

Summary: Post 3x08 AU where Gilbert avoids Anne for the summer and attends Queens College in the fall.

It's got a scavenger hunt and they are just so cute!

58.A Christmas gift By: writingshirbert Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Gilbert comes home for Christmas. Set after season 3.

59.The reality of baking Christmas cookies By: writingshirbert Rating: G Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: Anne really wants to win the neighbourhood competition over who has the best Christmas decorations, however her neighbour is making it really hard for her to do so.

60.the one person who makes me feel like i can take a fucking breath ( i can't have without completely destroying you ) By: softmullen Rating: NR Length: 5k-1/1

Summary: IF THERE WAS ONE thing you needed to know about the cuthbert-baynard family, it was that the two and only children did not get along. and it wasn't the 'not getting along' like constantly arguing, no, they just didn't speak. it was like they absolutely hated each other and no one quite knew why. especially gilbert blythe, who had been best friends with jerry since before he could remember. it's always just been the two of them, until jerry's father remarried, moving them three streets down in a rather large house.

An “Edge of 17” au. Anne and Jerry being siblings- 10/10

61,you're already home where you feel loved By: c19 Rating: G Length: 11k-1/1

Summary: Soulmate marks were only for special people, everyone kept telling them, but Anne and Gilbert both felt decidedly unspecial. Soulmate AU where the soulmate part isn't all that important.

62.The Language of My Unwavering Heart By: bravebatgirl (@bravebatgorl) Rating: T Length: 70k- 7/15

Summary:Anne Shirley-Cuthbert is attending college, exploring the excitement of entering womanhood beside her friends, and has even achieved a not-so-tragical romance. Everything is finally settling into place for the bride of adventure, but there are others still in dire straits. How is it that so much pain can be caused in a world about to turn a new century?

63.I'll See You in the Orchard By: wanderinginthewoods Rating: T Length: 20k-3/3

Summary: An alternate final, where Gilbert has to leave for Toronto later on, and doesn't bump into Diana. Meanwhile Anne--after meeting Winifred--finds herself on a spontaneous journey to Avonlea to confront him for not telling her about his lack of engagement--amongst other things.

64.The Many Faces of Gilbert Blythe By: Purple_Slippers_18 Rating: T Length: 50k-10/10

Summary: Anne was looking forward to meeting Avonlea's new schoolmaster, and if she could only stop herself from being distracted by the memory of a tall, dark, handsome stranger that she knows she'll never meet again, she was sure she would make an excellent impression on the new teacher, no matter what Minnie May had to say

65.Into the Sun By: goldinavonlea (@goldinavonlea) Rating: T Length: 5k-1/1

Summary: Summer had arrived in Avonlea. In all truth, summer had arrived in Avonlea several weeks earlier, but the inclement internal weather of Anne’s life of late had rendered the view rather cloudy from her window for a while there, and so perhaps it was better to say that summer had arrived—finally—in Anne. And what a summer it was. Or, Anne and Gilbert spend 5000 words ignoring all rules of Victorian propriety in favour of becoming the human embodiments of warm syrup.

Pure fluff, and written so well!

66.life is momentous, indeed By: bruadarxch (@rootedbutfl0wing) Rating: G Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: "She turns around trying to wipe off her tears and there he is, galloping down Lovers’ Lane in his horse, like a brooding hero in a romance novel. Bastard."Anne mopes and Gilbert finally does what he has to do.

67.something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue By: lxstdreams Rating: NR Length: 1k-1/1

Summary: how to propose to someone the moody spurgeon style(ruby x moody)

One of the very few not shirbert centric fics, but sooo cute!

68.oh i swear to you (i'll be there for you) By: cornerinthepouringrain Rating: T Length: 9k- 1/1

Summary: They sort of become a family, her and Jerry and Ruby and Gilbert (after she forgave him for the thing they don’t speak about), and they were annoying little shits who ate all her food and trashed her apartment, but... she was happy. It was a slow realization, one that didn’t really strike her until she was sitting on the floor in her pajamas, watching Ruby smack Jerry repeatedly after catching the boy stealing her Monopoly money as Gilbert rolled around in tears clutching his stomach.

Friends Au! I just love it so much

69.you don't have to say nothing - you don't have to say you're mine By: goddessbeltane Rating: M (warning: rape/non-con) Length: 27k-1/1

Summary: I hate this asshole. Asshole! The nerve! Anne rose from her chair abruptly, striding over to the counter to meet an obviously frightened Gilbert – though she couldn’t blame him for being scared, the last time she looked at him like that was about five seconds before he was violently doused - before folding her arms across her chest. “And just what would you know about soulmates, Blythe?”

The Office Au! If you can't tell, I love sitcom aus. Mentions of rape (not graphic)

70.If You're Wondering If I Want You To By: teal_always Rating: T Length: 16k-1/1

Summary: Princess Cordelia cordially invites Princess Delphine to join her on the playground to witness Sir Gilbert's courting of Princess Cordelia's mother, Queen Anne. Or Gilbert Blythe will piss off Anne Shirley-Cuthbert upon meeting her in any and all universes.

Single parent au! Just so good!

71.A Little Crazy By: YumKiwiDelicious Rating: NR Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: They’re eight and she’s got the knobbiest knees Gilbert has ever seen. || 5 times Anne tells Gilbert she loves him +1 time he actually takes her seriously||

72. we can leave the christmas lights up till januaryBy: Alice_Prongs Rating: T Length: 17k-3/3

Summary: the boys are throwing a christmas party before they leave for the holidays. that's fine. it's fine, really. all anne needs to do is stay sober throughout it and nothing will go wrong. like, you know, blurting out all of her feelings for gilbert blythe in front of him.

Modern + Christmas + Angst = a fantastic fic! (also sequel Here)

73.silence is the blood whose flesh is singing By: ashleykay Rating: NR Length: 4k-1/1

Summary: Anne Shirley does not believe in soulmates. And she will not be swayed otherwise. She believes only in love freely given. Soulmate AU. Timers.

74.The 10 Rules of Anne and Gilbert's Fake Relationship By: anexistence Rating: G Length: 18k-4/11

Summary: She’s kissing Gilbert Blythe, who is surprisingly eagerly kissing her back. Ew, she’s kissing Gilbert Blythe. Anne pulls away, and masks her horror by smiling sweetly up at him. He has that warm yet bemused look on his face. “Hey, there” he smirks, and Anne wishes she could just wipe the smirk away. “A favour for a favour,” she whispers. “You owe me some brownies, Carrots.”

75.thin ice By: antspaul Rating: T (warning- eating disorder) Length: 30k-7/7

Summary: "She still has a long way to go. Frustration builds in her throat and she wishes she could eat what she wanted and still stay slim and beautiful and perfect like Anne or Ruby. But things are the way things are. Nothing can be done about that. Diana will be beautiful. She just has to stay in control." When her world seems to be falling apart at the seams, Diana Barry finds power in the strict regulation of food. At the same time, her friendship with the Cuthbert's farm boy grows into more than she could have expected. And so she spirals.

The other not shirbert centric fic (but they are mentioned). Whether or not you like Diana x Jerry it's still really interesting to see a fic from Diana's perspective. Mentions of eating disorders are VERY graphic. Stay safe kids. There's also an (uncompleted) sequel Here

76.All This Time, I Was Waiting For You By: MeggieB Rating: M Length: 2k-1/1

Summary: Five Times Gilbert Blythe says "Carrots"

Pure fluff! Includes young shirbert and married shirbert!

77.Dream a Little Dream of Me By: PhoebeDillard (@gilbvrtblythe) Rating: G Length: 8k-1/1

Summary: Anne Shirley had been fascinated by the very idea of a dream her entire life. So imagine her surprise when she finally has hers and in it appears a prince that looks suspiciously similar to Gilbert Blythe. A Soulmate AU where everyone has one dream their entire life, and in it they see the face of their true love.

78.real or not real By: thearkdelinquents Rating: NR Length: 11k-1/1

Summary: a fake dating fic but it's basically just a shirbert To All The Boys I Loved Before au.

79.Flowers in His Heart By: Ephemeral_Joy (@lydias--stiles) Rating: G Length: 1k-1/1

Summary: ‘Don’t be,’ he said, shaking him head, ‘I was dreaming.’ Anne carefully smiled, placing her chin on her palm. ‘About?’ Gilbert paused for a moment. How could he reply to that? (“I dreamt about pinning you against the grass and kissing you”, wasn’t exactly an acceptable answer.) Or, he weighed the option, he could work with it. (or: Gilbert and Anne hang out and they definitely do not like each other. At all.)

80.Strawberry Tarts By: carrotsblythe Rating: G Length: 3k-1/1

Summary: Anne refuses to take part in another game of Spin the Bottle. And naturally, so does Gilbert.

81.Pretty Injuries By: novahainn Rating: G (warning: PTSD, child abuse) Length: 5k-1/1

Summary: Gilbert spent his childhood covered in flowers. Anne spent her childhood covered in some injury or other. Their meeting involves both. Soulmate AU where flowers appear on a person's soulmate when the person is injured.

82.From Red to Green With Love Between By: PhoebeDillard (@gilbvrtblythe) Rating: G Length: 7k-1/1

Summary: Gilbert Blythe was born with a tuft of red hair sticking out from amidst his unruly dark curls... until the day it turned green. A Soulmate AU where everyone has a streak of hair that matches the color of their true love.

83.you belong somewhere close to me By: georgiestauffenberg Rating: G (warning: mentions of child abuse) Length: 20k-1/1

Summary: “I know, son. I know. But if you feel what your soulmate feels, it is likely that she feels what you feel.” He raised his eyebrows. “Do you understand? If you are happy, she will be happy, too. Do you think you can be happy for her?” He nodded. “Yes.” He would think happy thoughts every possible moment if he must. AU. Gilbert is one of those rare, lucky souls who has a soulmate.

84. Shirbert One Shot + Drabble Collection By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordeila) Rating: G-T Length: 43k’

I could have individually put every single fic on this list, but I thought it would be better to put the entire collection. You can find everything you're looking for here. I recommend them all but here are my personal favorites

In the Blue Haze, The Peace, The Storm, She Has Brains Enough for Two , A Sweet Heart Won, Take Notice, Here is the Echo of a Sound I Wanted, things that fall (i, for you), Lifemate,when the sun goes to sleep

85. Time Turns to Amber By: Lil_Redhead (@royalcordeila) Rating: T Length: 42k-7/?

Summary: The line between universes is blurred when Anne Shirley of Green Gables suddenly switches lives with Ann Cuthbert, a university student living in the contemporary world. Suddenly Anne must learn how to navigate the modern world, one which contains a boyfriend, a part time job, and another year of university. Meanwhile, Ann struggles to tackle corsets, farming, and a world without electricity. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, but most people can't tell the difference between the redhead they know and the girl who replaced her. Anne (and Ann) have to learn to live as the other and try to find a way back to their own homes.

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tenpin-boleyn · 5 years

Text

Rebellious Parr at School!

These were thought up by @wolfies-chew-toy and I- mostly MB- because Cathy going through teenage rebellion is I C O N I C

There are some teenage Anne in here too but mostly our girl Cathy P 🖤

Also I’m sorry about the length- I’m on mobile so I can’t add a read more :)

•Anne got her heelys confiscated, so she decided to sandpaper the bottom of her shoes so she can slide around like a penguin. No wheels? No problem.

•Catherine being the feminist icon that all teachers fear:

“NO I AM NOT READING ROMEO AND JULIET AS ITS A DEROGATORY REPRESENTATION OF WOMEN AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH”

Then Catherine promptly gets removed from the class.

“Catherine don’t you have English right now?”

“Don’t you have your funeral!!.... oh my god Mrs lynn I’m so sorry” because Cathy is a badass but she still has feelings

•Confusing the teachers on a daily basis:

"Hitler is kinda like Kim Jong Un dont you think?"

"Miss Parr and Miss Seymour what are you talking about?"

"Miss, isn't Kim Jong Un rather like Hitler?"

"Please stop discussing your Kpop idols in my class."

•The school has different colors led name tags for the different years, eg. Seventh year, yellow, eighth year green etc.

You can bet your ass Parr has a name tag in each colour and wears them all at once. It ranges from her actual name to Catradora. She has a name tag that just says CatParr420 and wears it everywhere.

And 90% of the time she wears a blank one and carries around a marker

“Umm excuse me what’s your name?”

Which prompts Cathy to draw on a fake name.

“Anita Willtolive”!

•She draws penises on all the whiteboards of every class she enters in permanent marker.

•One time the school used a drone to film the morning assembly and the noise annoyed Cathy so much she picked her book from morning reading up and h u r l e d it at the drone.

All you can hear before the recording stops is “YEET”

Did she get detention? Yes

Was it worth it? HELL YES

•You can bet your bottom dollar that Anne is in that detention too.

Anne's reasons for detention range from stuff like chatting to general shenaniganery but Cathy is just oPEN DEFIANCE

•She only is nice to her classmates

•And selected teachers

•She's a dick to everyone else

•But if she sees a kid on their own she’ll go out of her way to be lovely to them and to that one annoying teacher she hates, she’s a hell raiser

•She once moved the empty table next to her desk away to the other end of the class to stop teachers from sitting next to her- whilst the teacher was trying to sit at said desk.

•Catherine openly questioning EVERYTHING

“But if everyone is only nice to get into heaven surely that defeats the purpose and they’re being fake”

•She would fall asleep in front of the teacher

She'd just yell goodnight really loudly and knock out on her desk

•Honestly it’s a wonder she hasn’t been kicked out, but Jane thinks it’s because her grades bring up the school average

•She does her homework the moment she gets it and is finished by the end of the day

•Anne just puts in her file and lets it rot

•Parr gets in trouble for handing in Anne’s homework that Parr did but Anne has no idea. Cathy just wanted to make sure she didn’t fail

•Anne teaches Parr how to get discounts in the cafeteria, because Parr needs free cookies.

•Parr is Anne's defender when it comes to detentions

•She gives the teacher her Stare™️ and they instantly clam up

•Their detention desks are side by side and they have like those partners in crime necklaces but instead of two halves on their necklaces they’re carved into the tables

They they put them together they just line up

“Parr scares all the teachers except the German teacher who is literally Satan.

•Anne looks scary but she is basically harmless

•Parr looks like she wouldn't hurt a fly but given the chance she would 100% bite her teacher's hand off

•Anne has like five piercings and the messiest uniform in existence while Parr has only one piercing in each ear and the neatest uniform in existence but the moment Parr opens her mouth you better run

•She once bit a first year because they got in her way

•Cross any of Parr's friends or Parr herself and you might as well drop out because you'll be on a hit list for your whole education career

•She’s got a little black book of people that’s annoyed her because eventually she forgets but she’s too petty to let her memory get the better of her

•Anne has been on it at least once but Parr always strikes her name out

•She once kicked Parr in the stomach trying to show off her sandpapered shoes

•The shoe flew off and hit Parr in the stomach

She would have screamed at Anne but Anne’s puppy dog eyes are irresistible

Especially at 12 years old because she’s literally a baby

Like not even in a sexual way, you just can’t say no to those eyes

•Seymour has also been on the list once

But Parr got her revenge

What did Seymour do? She keeps taking Parrs highlighters

So Parr makes her pay money for every time she uses her highlighters

And one day a teacher sees and thinks it’s a drug deal

Every late payment is + 1 quid

Jane knows better than to accumulate late payments because Parr is ruthless when it comes to money

•When a classmate lost Parrs calculator and didn't pay her back, Parr literally carved owe money pay money onto her desk and got that person's friends to remind them daily till they paid her back

•Every time that person saw Parr in the hallways they'd turn around and head the other direction

•Tardies don't matter when the most trigger-happy person in school is out for your blood

•The day that she’s sat next to Parr in the seating plan is the day she moves schools

•Even then Parr still tracks her down

•She waits for them at the school gate with the most murderous smile on her face

•You just see Anne behind her chewing gum, snapping her fingers and doing jazz hands

•And the person is rapidly dialing their parents while screaming MOM COME PICK ME UP I'M SCARED

•Suddenly Aragon pulls up with the others and shouts at the pair “get in losers we’re going shopping”

"How the hell did you even find them Cathy?"

"I just followed the smell of crippling debt and it led me here."

“No seriously how?”

“Anne never turns her snapmaps off”

•Also Parr made the PE teacher cry more than once. More than twice. Okay it was 27 times.

•Parr has a pen knife and people try to confiscate it but she just brings out a printed sheet of paper that says that “a knife may be carried as a self defence weapon if it is under 9 inches and is retractable”

•She made the history teacher quit.

•One time she threatened to give someone salmonella because they were giving Anne and Kat a hard time

•Both Anne and Kat are in special ed and someone thought it'd be funny to bully them cuz of it

•She was skipping class in the toilets and two girls walk in and start bad mouthing Anne and Kitty so she kicks open her door and looks at them whilst sucking a lolly pop “hello bitches say goodbye to ur eyebrows”

•Parr is super defensive of the two of them

•She teases them sure but if anyone else tries, they have to sleep with one eye open

•Anne and Kat don't understand why people keep coming up and apologizing to them

•When they ask Parr, she just shrugs and smiles

•Parr used to be super motivated back in year seven. When year eleven rolled around, she became a little more rebellious, first the name tags, then the mouthing off. Then it escalated further and further. No one else but Parr and Anne knows what happened to cause this change

•Parr is soft for Anne and Kat and Anne and Kat alone

•She roughs up Aragon, Seymour and Cleves bc she knows they can take it. She's soft when she needs to be and not many people see that side of her

•Her favourite teachers rarely see that side either. Only during teacher's day when she sneaks into the staffroom to give them homemade cookies

•Parr wears leather jackets to class and no one dares question her.

•Anne learnt Chinese and how to play the guitar during detention so that she could sing for Parr the next time they had a session together

•Anne singing Unchained Melody exactly like in ghost the musical, and does the little elvis riff too

•Parr and Anne facetime and do Kahoots together because they need to study aka theyre competitive as shit

•Cathy gets excited in class and stands on her chair and yells "I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK I KILLED SIRIUS BLACK. U COMING TO KILL ME???" And promptly gets removed from the class.

•Parr gets a "Little Miss Adventurous" award for having the most travelled converstation.

BONUS:

•The queens doing that egg project where they have to bring an egg home and keep it for a week

•Anne calls hers Eggward Eggburt.

•Aragon drops it the moment she gets it

•Anne brings the egg home and makes it into an omelette

•Jane does well till the sixth day where she goes fuck it and uses it to bake cookies.

•Cleves breaks it during lunch after Anne called her a name and she threw it at her

•Kat gives hers to Jane and it's baked into chocolate chip cookies

•Parr shuts hers in the fridge for a week and takes it out at the end of the week

•Anne gets asked where her egg is and she pats her stomach which results in Kitty yelling “YOURE PREGNANT?!”

•Jane gets asked where her egg is and she holds up this cookie jar and offers the teacher one

•Parr is praised for being the only one in class for having an intact egg and then she grabs the egg and breaks it on the teacher's head cuz she 'needed to shut up'

#anne boleyn #six the musical #millie o'connell #aimie atkinson #katherine howard #catherine parr #catherine of aragon #grace mouat

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lover-of-many-things · 5 years

Text

The Thing With Feathers

A/N: So here is the Booksmart fic I’ve been working on. It’s from Hope’s perspective and some of my head canons of why she acts the way she does and why certain things in the film happen the way they do. Let me know what you think, because it’s super unbeta’d so I apologize for any mistakes. I might make it a series with what happens with them down the line if that is something anyone would be interested in.

Rating: T

Word count: 6.3k

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Hope’s not good with feelings; she can admit that to herself. People can only think you are and call you a bitch for so long because you’re pretty before you become one. And yes—she knows she’s pretty. It’s not even a conceit thing, it’s just a known fact of her life. She’s pretty and she’s a bitch. At least those are the things her classmates have thought of her since middle school. She hasn’t cared enough in the past five years or so to correct them; too focused on just making it through to eighteen so she can leave this town and finally see the world like she’s always wanted. That’s another reason why it’s easier being a bitch—no one close enough to feel sorry about leaving behind.

Except there’s one flaw in her seamless plan to just finish out high school and leave for the summer before heading right off to school. She actually isn’t heartless and may have feelings...that she has absolutely no idea what to do with. Okay. That’s a lie. She’s had feelings for a while that she still has absolutely no idea what to do with.

Hope is fairly secure in her sexuality. Not many people know she’s a lesbian, but that’s just because not many people cared enough to ask—not because she’s ashamed at all. One of the only people that actually knows is Gigi, and that’s simply because that girl has a habit of being everywhere and knowing everything without ever being told. She is definitely weird but Hope doesn’t mind her company when she is around if not only just because of how entertaining she could be. Gigi somehow found out only a few weeks after Hope had come out to her family in Freshman year. She had just appeared at Hope’s locker side as she closed the door one day and said something along the lines of, “Y’know, I was a lesbian in a past life...so far undetermined in this one” before seemingly disappearing within the crowd before Hope could react. Not that she would.

Either way, Gigi isn’t her problem. No, her problem is Amy. Goody two-shoes, class president sidekick, meek as a meerkat Amy. Hope had been paying attention to Amy since they were kids in elementary school—always watching and never really interacting since there was no way she could penetrate the bubble that she and Molly live within, no one could. She watched as Amy followed Molly around on the playground, playing what she wanted to play, as always. She watched as Amy was roped in to being in mock trial in middle school instead of choir. She watched and watched until one day in eighth grade she realized why she was watching. She tried to stop paying attention. Tried not to care. Tried to ignore her heart rate increasing every time Amy brushed past her in the halls. Which is why, when one day Amy accidentally collided with her in the hallway she said what she said.

Even in eighth grade Hope was already above average height, towering over most of the people in the school, so she was completely fine after the collision though Amy had dropped the books she was holding. Determined not to care, Hope scoffed lightly at Amy, bent over to pick up her books with Molly helping her—the two really never separated.

“Watch where you’re going next time, idiot.”

Amy didn’t even look up when Hope walked past her, stepping on one of the strewn papers, but Molly certainly did. She jumped up immediately, calling out a retort that Hope didn’t care enough to listen to, sticking her middle finger up as she continued walking away.

Thus started her transition from just watching to passively antagonizing. Again—really not good with feelings. Hope continued watching, but whenever Amy stumbled or dropped something she had a comment ready under her breath that Amy could possibly, probably, most definitely hear.

This continued on until the 10th grade—when Amy came out. For the briefest moments when she had deciphered the news from Gigi (of course), Hope had allowed herself to, well, hope. Amy could like her back, she was a viable option now. For a few days she went back to just watching, looking for a sign of anything really when they passed each other in the hall or sat in class. During her surveying Hope only found one thing, and that was that Amy seemingly only had eyes for Ryan, that tatted skater chick. Feeling her heart drop down to her stomach at the sight of Amy sighing over Ryan at lunch with Molly, Hope pushed those feelings right back down and moved onto active antagonization.

She couldn’t just stop watching Amy, but now whenever their gazes met she had a quip or nitpick ready to shoot off at her as if it somehow explained why she stared at Amy more than she did anyone else. The comments became like vitamins to Hope; at least one a day to stamp those feelings further down—not recommended by any doctor. And it helped. Kinda. For a little bit.

Hope continued to watch Amy pine after Ryan as she pined after her and continued throwing comments whenever she could. She was handling it—really, she was—at least, until senior year. She used to be so excited, well, excited as she can get about senior year. The year where she could just coast on through until graduation and then she’d leave and finally see the world, but as the year went on she found that she wasn’t looking forward to graduation as much as she wanted to be. She knew why, but she would never admit it to herself. No, Gigi did that for her.

Hope was at her locker one day, switching out her books between classes when Gigi appeared behind her and startled as much as Hope allowed herself to startle.

“You should really tell her, y’know. Only a couple months left.”

Hope rolled her eyes, used to Gigi’s incoherence. “Tell who what, Gigi?”

Gigi slowly walked her fingers up Hope’s arm as she spoke. “You looooove her.” Hope batted Gigi’s hand away, but she just moved it to play with the tassels on Hope’s jacket.

“Yeah, now I really think you’re crazy.”

Gigi leaned in far too close for Hope’s comfort, not that she would show that, and whispered in her ear. “I’m as crazy as you are a bitch.” With that she yelled for Jared and immediately went into a trust fall that Jared could just barely catch her in before dragging her down the hallway. Hope thought that Gigi was maybe slightly more crazy than she was a bitch.

She went through the rest of her day without a hitch, not really thinking of her interaction with Gigi until she got to her English class and walked past Amy, sitting in the front row. Shit. Gigi’s words came crashing back onto her as she sat down, staring at the back of Amy’s head. She was in love with Amy. She was in love with the meek, small, adorable, funny—these adjectives were getting away from her. She shook her head. Well, that had certainly backtracked her progress of stamping down on her feelings. Sure, she could find Amy attractive but to actually like her? She couldn’t. She couldn’t be in love with Molly’s sidekick bitch...could she? Before Hope knew it, the bell was ringing and people were gathering their things as Ms. Fine was shouting out a last few key points that only Molly and Amy bothered writing down. She quickly gathered her things and left without a word; she had some things to think about.

And think about them she did. For months. Hope turned over every interaction in her head, watching Amy as she stupidly joked around with Molly and registered how cute she found it. She also registered the slight twinge in her chest whenever she saw Amy looking at or talking to Ryan. Those interactions were the ones that fueled the mean comments. She knew it wasn’t nice but hey, she was a bitch and it was self-preservation at this point.

Which brings us to today. The last day of her high school career. She really is ready to be done with school, but there’s just this niggling thought in the back of her mind that she might regret leaving without ever trying anything with Amy. She strolls into class as the bell rings and takes a seat, noting Amy and Molly standing up at Ms. Fine’s desk. It wasn’t an unusual occurrence, especially with it being the last day; they were probably just kissing ass one more time. That is, until they took their phones out. Amy and Molly never took their phones out in class and many people readily called them out on it.

Ms. Fine quickly diffuses the situation as best she can with seniors on their last day of high school, lacking any shits, and sends Molly and Amy to sit down. Hope leans forward in her desk towards as soon as Amy sits down. “Hey Amy?”

Amy turns around, seemingly surprised at someone else other than Molly addressing her. “Yeah?”

“Did you just score your teacher’s phone number?” Amy turned and nods with a cute fraction of a smile on her face.

“Yeah.”

“Nice.” Hope says it with just the right amount of sneer and disapproval that Amy’s face drops and she leans back in her chair. Figures Amy would ask for the teacher’s number before she would ever think to ask for Hope’s. She’s entirely ready to just read her book all period until Jared walks in talking about everyone wearing shirts with his face on it and she just has to shut that down immediately. Then the theatre kids go up to the front of the class to make some announcement and Hope promptly tunes out, content to sit, read her book, and stew in her thoughts.

Once class is done, Hope packs up her things and calmly walks out of the room amongst her rowdy class mates. Her next period is a free period and then it’s lunch, so she decides to find a nice spot outside to read at. She picks her usual semi-shaded spot under a tree and sits against it, bringing one knee up to hold the book against but letting her other leg stretch out. Her free period goes by pretty uneventfully in the real world, but her book kept her riveted. However, once she hears the bell she dog-ears her page and sets the book aside, knowing the rush of students outside would disrupt any reading she could want to get done. Sure enough, as soon as she puts her book aside and reached into her bag for the apple she packed today the doors of the school slam open and her peers flood the school yard.

She surveys the schoolyard as she bites into her apple, looking at the classmates that she will probably never see again after the summer until her eyes land on—of course—Amy, who is looking at—of course—Ryan. She rolls her eyes and takes another bite of her apple. Molly and Amy are talking to themselves and Molly makes, was that a scissoring gesture? With her hands. Suddenly Amy stands and starts walking over toward Ryan, Hope raises an eyebrow in surprise and a bit in anticipation.

Hope watches the interaction as she finishes off her apple and almost chokes with laughter as she watches Amy slowly and awkwardly walk away holding up a peace sign. What an adorable train wreck. Seeing Amy return to her table with Molly and looking at her phone to see the time, Hope gathers her things and heads inside while there is still some time left in lunch so she doesn’t have to deal with maneuvering through the crowded halls. She makes it to her locker, opening it and hanging her favorite jacket inside now a bit warm from being outside for so long. A couple of minutes later the halls started to fill with other students heading to their lockers, a gentle buzz in the air of anticipation for the half-day to finally come to an end and summer to start. She starts to grab her things from her locker and put them in her bag, ready to never have to come back to this place.

Hope expects some rowdiness, it is the last day of school after all, but she doesn’t expect Molly running out of the gender neutral bathroom that Amy pushed for for years, demanding to know where people are going to school. When Molly runs up to her she answers before Molly can even get all of her words out since she usually only listened to Molly when Amy was around.

“Yeah, no. I don’t care about...whatever is happening here.” She waves her hand, trying to shoo Molly away and she rolls her eyes before moving on to the next person. Hope finishes gathering her things just in time for the final bell to ring. Everyone around her bursts out into screams of celebration at having made it through the year, having made it through high school. Confetti and silly string are thrown into the air and condoms are filled and used as water balloons down the hall. Hope nearly barks out in laughter as she sees one of the condoms nail Molly right in the face soaking her.

Hiking her bag over her shoulder she strolls down the main hallway, gladly taking a condom water balloon to the face, running a hand through her newly wet hair with a smile. She passes Amy on her way out, slack-jawed and rushing to Molly’s side and throws a wave over her shoulder at Nick who tells her to come to his party tonight. It’s supposed to be pretty huge and she has nothing else to do, so she might as well make an appearance and get some free weed and alcohol. It’ll be a nice farewell before graduation to high school and the people she’s sort of tolerated her whole life.

Hope gets home and relaxes for a few hours, just reading in her room, before heading out to the party. By the time she walks into the house, the party is already in full swing; people are doing keg stands, body shots, and jumping into the pool in various stages of undress. She does a couple laps of the party, having a few drinks, and bumming a few hits and even an entire joint that she adds to her collection in her pocket. Once she’s done a few laps she settles into a corner and does what she does best: people watch. And man, are her classmates fun people to watch.

She’s actually having a pretty nice time at the party as the night continues on. She still sticks to herself, but the vibe of the party itself and the energy of the people around her is enough to enjoy the night. She’s not sure how long she’s been at the party when she sees Molly and Amy walk through the door. It’s probably the biggest shocker of the night and she saw someone nakedly backflip into the pool earlier completely unprompted. Amy is wearing a cute blue sequin dress and it’s not something she’s usually wear, but Hope thinks she looks fantastic.

Hope is once again surprised when she sees Molly and Amy separate, an almost unheard of occurrence. Hope watches as Amy wanders through the crowd and she takes a large gulp of her drink and a deep breath before walking towards Amy, determined to talk to her at least once before she would probably never see her again. However, she only gets three steps before she sees Amy walk up to Ryan and start flirting with her—well, starts Amy’s version of flirting with her. Hope comes to an immediate stop, her good mood souring.

She quickly finishes her drink and walks off to the bathroom, cutting in line despite the protests and locking the door behind her. Putting the lid down, she sits on the toilet and takes one of the joints in her pocket. She immediately lights the joint and starts smoking, ignoring the shouting and pounding on the door from outside. News must travel quickly about who exactly it is that commandeered the bathroom and soon enough the knocks and yelling stop.

Hope gets through a joint and a half before she hears a commotion outside of the room. Curious, she gets up and pops the door open, peeking her head out. She sees everyone walking towards the living room and hears a couple people yelling. Wait no, not just any two people yelling. She hears Molly and Amy yelling. At each other. That is entirely unheard of. Hope can’t really hear what they’re saying, but they sound angry.

It seems as soon as the yelling starts, it stops, and people rush back down the hall to make it look like they weren’t just watching the two best friends have a very loud scream fight in the middle of a party. Hope retreats back into the bathroom, this time foregoing the lock—just in case, her heart says—before sitting back down on the toilet and relighting her joint. She sits in silence for only a few moments before the bathroom door opens and a soaking wet and crying Amy stumbles in, standing in front of the sink for a moment, catching her breath.

“What the fuck?...I locked that.”

Amy looks at Hope over her shoulder, then back at the door before bracing herself on the sink. “Well, I guess you didn’t.” Her voice almost cracks with emotion and Hope just continues to watch her.

“What’s wrong with you? Fight with your wife?” Hope takes a drag of the joint. She slightly surprised as Amy snaps back almost immediately.

“Can you please just...leave me alone.” Amy struggles to get the words out and well, Hope has never really been good at leaving well enough alone.

“Why are you even at a party? Shouldn’t you be like marching in some meaningless protest somewhere...or, I don’t know, in your bed doing homework?”

Amy almost lets out a chuckle. “You don’t even know me.”

Hope just tilts her head, her mind filling with everything that she’s noticed about Amy over the years. “Pretty sure I do.”

“No,” Amy interrupts before Hope can continue, “you’re just one of those people who claims that they’re honest or calling people on their shit when really you’re just mean.” Amy finally turns to look at Hope over her shoulder, and Hope, never one to back down from a confrontation, stands and stalks over to Amy feeling the emotions she’s pushed down for so long bubbling to the surface.

“Wow...no, I take it back. You, are a badass, who takes no prisoners. And cries, in the bathroom at parties.” Hope leans into Amy’s personal space to finish her delivery before stepping back and leaning against the wall with her hand. Amy turns to continue facing Hope.

“Why are you so cruel?”

Hope almost laughs at that, but narrows her eyes slightly instead. “I just don’t like meek people and you,” she looks Amy up and down, “you’re like Molly’s little sidekick bitch.” That seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back as Amy fires back more aggressive than Hope has ever seen the girl.

“Well you’re just a basic hot girl, who’s going to peak in high school.” A couple of thoughts fill Hope’s mind in that moment, mainly: Amy thinks she’s hot and holy shit, Amy is hot when she stands up for herself. Her eyes widen a bit at the thoughts and she takes in Amy in that moment, raw, emotional, angry...and beautiful.

She and Amy stay in this bubble for a moment, as the air leaves the room and the tension between them grows. The moment seems to linger before it bursts entirely and Amy is surging up to forcefully meet Hope’s lips. It’s clumsy and it’s filled with force but her lips are so soft, and then Hope is pulling away so that she can reassess. Amy the overachiever, Amy in love with Ryan, Amy the long time crush just kissed her. Hope breathes out a laugh and smiles at Amy, who seems just as surprised by her own actions for a moment before she’s leaning back in and Hope is leaning down to meet her.

Holy shit. This is actually happening. Hope is kissing Amy, and God, does it feel good. Hope helps Amy shrug off her favorite jacket as her hands slide up her shoulder and down her arms, pushing the jacket with it. They both slowly lower down to the floor, not separating their lips for a single moment until Hope feels Amy’s hands slip under her shirt and slide up her stomach. They pull away from each other just to slide Hope’s shirt up and over her head, tossing it aside like her jacket.

Hope smiles as she watches Amy take her in with a half whispered, Woah. Feeling a little giddy Hope connects their lips again, but then Amy falls a bit to the side with a hum. Hope pulls back immediately, her voice soft and betraying her real feelings as she speaks. “Are you okay?”

Amy pushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah, sorry. I just got a little dizzy for a second there.” Hope, seeing just how nervous Amy really is now that the heat of the arguing has worn off, looks at Amy with more care in her eyes than she’d like to admit.

“We can stop, if you want.”

“No,” Amy replies almost immediately, “no, we’re not stopping”

They both give a gentle laugh as Hope once again settles down onto the bathroom floor. It’s as Amy starts to tug off her jeans that she realizes she really is about to sleep with her unrequited crush on Nick’s Aunt’s bathroom floor. Life really does throw you some curveballs sometimes.

Amy only gets her pants off so far before she realizes Hope still has her converse on and moves to get rid of that obstacle. Hope pillows her arm behind her head to watch as Amy adorably struggled with the shoes and then tugging her tight skinny jeans from her legs. Once she finally tugs them free, it’s with enough force to send her falling backwards into the floor. Hope pops her head up as Amy falls backwards laughing as she asks if she’s okay. Amy laughs too and crawls back over before reaching up and tugging down Hope’s underwear.

Like she said—Hope knows she’s hot. It’s just a fact of her life. But watching as Amy took in her half-naked form for the first time? Anyone would be a bit nervous. She runs her hand through her hair and lets out a breathy laugh as she waits for any kind of reaction from Amy beyond staring, though staring really isn’t too bad and watching Amy obviously enjoy what she is seeing is kind of doing it for Hope.

After a moment and a shuddered breath, Amy finally breaks the silence. “I should probably take mine off too.” Hope could do nothing but enthusiastically nod and offer encouragement in the most eloquent way she could at the moment.

“Yeah.” Amy nods resolutely and starts to take her dress off. Hope gets a better view of the act by resting her hands behind her head, and it’s a view that she certainly enjoys. Her eyes roam up and down Amy’s body repeatedly and Amy brings the dress up over her head, but she feels awkward in the silence as she watches Amy strip so she blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“That’s a nice dress.”

“It’s all she had,” comes Amy’s muffled reply from amongst the fabric of the dress, speaking again when her head is finally free, “Ms. Fine.”

Hope immediately breaks out into laughter, thinking about her jab to Amy earlier today, “Of course.” Amy joins in on her laughter before lowering herself down on top of Hope, rejoining their lips.

Hope decides she really likes kissing Amy. And it is definitely something she wants to continue doing. So far this thing with Amy has been a bit messy and fumbling, but it’s fun and cute and Hope has loved every second, so she really can’t predict how poorly it could go wrong.

They’re kissing and Hope feels as Amy slips her hand down her stomach, the knot in her stomach tightening in anticipation as Amy’s hand goes lower and lower and lower and oh! lower. The sensation itself doesn’t feel bad per se, just very unexpectedly and Hope maybe kind of pauses a bit to get used to the feeling. Amy, noticing her hesitation pauses as well. “Um...h-how is that for you?”

Hope doesn’t want to embarrass Amy any further, especially not if that means that they stop whatever this is so she hums our a reply. “Um...it’s okay.” Amy continues on with another round of questions instead on continuing on and Hope can’t stand to answer them if hands and appendages remain where they are so she interrupts Amy as gently as she can. “Um- I don’t think that’s the hole you think it is.”

As predicted Amy immediately starts freaking out as Hope tries to mollify her. Amy then starts talking about angles and geometry and Hope can’t help but laugh at the adorable neediness of the statement. “Seriously, don’t worry about it.” Amy apologizes again so Hope is no longer worried about her running away and starts to settle back down, thinking the worst has passed and ready to give it all another go.

Which is why she’s terribly shocked in the next moments when she’s covered in vomit. She doesn’t really process everything that she says rather than a lot of expletives and a lot of ‘get out’s. Then she’s in the shower and the door is slamming shut. “Fuck!” She yells out as she quickly washes the vomit off of herself. Well now Amy will definitely never want to see her again after that disaster. After the initial shock and proceeding anger at the situation fades, which it does quite quickly, she just hangs her head, letting the water fall onto the back of her neck taking a few deep breaths. And if some tears come out with the deep breaths well then the water is just dripping down from her face at a weird angle. After a few more minutes she shuts off the shower and slips her clothes back on. She pauses at the extra pair of underwear on the floor, immediately knowing who they belong to, and picks them up, slipping them into her jean pocket. She runs a hand through her hair, shaking out some of the moisture on its way through for good measure before slipping on her jacket and leaving the bathroom, heading straight to the front door.

She quickly finds a ride home and slips into bed, really fucking ready to graduate tomorrow and leave this place behind.

—————

Hope wakes up to having her phone full of notifications. She wipes her eyes blearily as she flips through them. Cops came to stop the party. Yadda yadda yadda. Amy saved everyone else from getting caught. Yadda yadda—wait. Hope goes back to the last notification and watches a video that seems to have been taken from a bush of Amy getting put into the back of a police car. Hope can’t help but laugh as Amy is put in the back, nervously running her mouth as she had the tendency to do.

Hope sighs and drops her phone to her chest, deciding then and there that she’d talk to Amy today after graduation to see if anything could be salvaged from the wreck of last night. Checking the time, Hope rolls out of bed and gets ready for the ceremony.

——-----------

By the time everyone is told to sit down in their seats by the principal, neither Molly nor Amy are present. Everyone is talking about how Amy is in jail and how unusual it is for Molly to be late—especially to graduation. The principal starts the ceremony anyway and Gigi starts up the piano as Jared gets on stage and starts to read Molly’s valedictorian speech.

He only gets a few lines in before a distant revving is heard and a car—Jared’s car to be exact—smashes through the fences and swerves across the track and field before finally coming to a stop. Her peers start to cheer but all Hope can focus on is Amy getting out of the driver’s seat and running up into the stage with Molly. That—had been extremely hot and Hope has to check to make sure she isn’t slack jawed or anything. Molly grabs Amy’s hand and raises it above their heads, causing a loud cheer among the students that Hope even joins in with, clapping and laughing at the display.

Amy sits down at her chair and before Hope knows it they’ve graduated. She is no longer a high school student and is finally free. Amy is whisked away before Hope can pull her aside to talk, but Gigi pops up, hugging her around the shoulders and taking a deep breath and possibly a taste of her hair. “There’s still time. Also avoid the Rio Grande in your travels, I think you might drown there.”

Hope can’t do anything other than laugh and make a mental note about the Rio Grande; Gigi might be certifiable but she also had very good intuition and Hope isn’t sure she’s willing to take that chance just to see a river. As soon as Gigi appears she is gone, as per usual, and Hope goes over to her family ready to head home.

She sticks around home long enough for her parents to congratulate her and have a celebratory meal, but as soon as she finishes eating she excuses herself. She grabs a plastic bag from her mom’s bag of bags and goes to her room, placing in the underwear that Amy had forgotten the night before.

With a call out to her parents that she’d be back soon, Hope leaves her house and starts walking to where she knows Amy lives, swinging the bag and it’s contents at her side. She could drive but it’s only a fifteen minute walk, and Hope enjoys the fresh air and time to think. Today she has a lot to think about so it seems like she’s approaching Amy’s house in no time at all. She stands nervously on the front step for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before shaking the nervousness off and knocking on the door.

It’s opened a few seconds later by a man Hope now recognizes as Amy’s father from graduation. “Hi, can I help you?”

“Um, yeah- hi. I have something for Amy. I’m one of her classmates.” Hope shakes the bag a little as she speaks.

“Oh! Well isn’t that nice. I’ll go get her. Unless, do you want to come in? She’s just packing for her trip with Molly and her mother.” Right. Botswana. Hope rubs at her jean pocket, extremely aware of what she had put inside it right before she left home. This is definitely not a conversation she wants to have with Molly.

“No, thank you. I’ll just wait out here if that’s okay.”

“Absolutely, I’ll go get her” Amy’s dad smiles and closes the door. Hope takes a deep breath and steps away from the door, moving to lean back against the side of the house right by a window which, peeking in for a second, she can see it’s definitely Amy’s room. She looks up at the sky, both finding it calming and using it as time to collect her thoughts.

A couple of minutes later, Amy slips out from behind the door, looking entirely the part of a lesbian, and gently shuts it behind her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” Amy slowly approaches where Hope is leaning. Hope holds up the bag between them saying the line she practiced on the walk over.

“I figured I’d bring back your clothes.” Amy takes the bag and Hope holds back a smile when their fingers brush.

“Thanks so much. I don’t- I don’t usually leave my underwear in places that...aren’t my room.” Hope can’t help but smile at the awkwardness of the situation and how adorable Amy is. Hope pretends that she doesn’t notice Molly freaking out at the window behind her and instead listens as Amy keeps talking. “So how-um...ar-are you okay?”

Of course Amy is still worried about that, Hope thought as much would happen, especially given her reaction last night. She shrugs nonchalantly as if nothing happened at all. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she gives Amy a look up and down, “are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Amy looks around at just about everything except hope, “uh...Y’know. Prison kind of changes you.” It isn’t until Hope, playing along, nods seriously with a hum of affirmation that Amy finally looks at her with a smile and laugh. “But, uh, I’m fine...sorry, I just really don’t know what I’m doing with all that stuff yet.”

Hope suddenly more bashful than she’s used to being looks at the floor, not wanting to admit just how much she enjoyed last night. “Well, for someone who has no idea they’re doing, you kinda know what you’re doing.” She punctuates the statement by looking Amy in the eyes and raising her eyebrows, hoping that she’ll make the connection. She smiles as she can see what she said register on Amy’s face.

“That’s...” Amy shakes her head, “ah—um that’s cool.” Hope laughs, finding her so cute as she fumbles over her words. “So. How-how’s your summer going?”

Hope furrows her brow humorously; they literally just graduated a few hours ago. Amy, obviously realizing her mistake continues talking. “I mean, what are you doing for-for the summer time?”

Hope breaks out into a gentle smile, not able to keep up a judgmental facade for any longer than necessary around Amy anymore. Not after last night. “I think I’m gonna backpack around for a bit.”

“Really?” And Hope can’t help but think that Amy sounds a bit hopeful. She nods.

“Yeah.”

“Where?” That is certainly a question the Hope has herself. She’s more of a let the journey unfold itself kind of gal. She laughs and shrugs.

“I don’t know, honestly anywhere I can find a couch to crash on. I just—Y’know I just wanna see some stuff before college.”

“That’s really cool—that’s, me too, that’s why I’m taking a gap year”

“Yeah?” Hope questions as she slips her fingers into her pocket, grabbing the slip of paper.

“Yeah.”

“Alright. Well, uh...have fun, nerd.” She pulls out the piece of paper and extends it out towards Amy. She could have just asked Amy for her phone and typed in her number but Hope has a thing for physical things; the paper and pen. Nothing beats it. Plus, she thinks it’s kind of more romantic and a classic move.

Amy just stares at her extended hand for a moment and Hope doesn’t want to actually ask Amy to take her number since that would be kind of sad—even though she totally would and hates that she knows that. She raises her eyebrows and flicks the piece of paper out at Amy again. Amy finally takes the piece of paper with her number on it and a little message about how she better message her since they had unfinished business to attend to.

Hope longs to touch her fingers to Amy’s and maybe run them down her arm and then maybe even further—so she steps back and turns to walk away before she acts on any impulses. Especially with Molly very intendedly watching from the window. Hope accomplished what she came her for and she’s honestly pretty proud of herself; she has a strange passing thought that Gigi would be too.

“Um,” Amy calls out and Hope turns around to face her, now a safe distance away, “Well if you ever end up in Botswana...you’d have a couch to crash on.”

Hope, realizing that Amy wants to see her over the summer and genuinely wants to see her again even after the Disaster™️, smiles. “Okay.” She turns back around to continue walking, not wanting Amy to see just yet how giddy that makes her.

“Well, technically it won’t be my couch, cause I’ll be staying with a family, but I’m sure they’ll be cool with it.” Hope laughs and throws her hand over her shoulder in a wave as she walks, giving Amy one last look.

“Okay.” She brings her hand up to her face rubbing at her cheeks, still stuck in a small smile, and let’s her hand run along the flowers of the bushes at the end of Amy’s drive way as she turns the corner. If Hope was someone who squealed, she would definitely be squealing right now. She lets out a breathy laugh and runs her hand through her hair; which is as close to squealing as Hope gets.

She continues on toward home; she has a whole backpacking trip to plan around one destination: Botswana. She feels her phone vibrate in her pocket and immediately reaches into her pocket, excited at the possibility of Amy already texting her. Her excitement fades as she sees Gigi’s name on the screen.

She opens the text, curious.

Told you so. Also, remember. No Rio Grande.

Hope quickly lifts her head and looks around, seeing no one. “What the fuck, Gigi!?”

#booksmart #hope x amy #hope #amy #fic #booksmart spoilers #let me know what you think

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zoeykaytesmom · 5 years

Text

What Is Life?

Description: I am taking my OC from A03, and putting her and Rafael Barba in a different universe of how they meet. I’m new to posting on here so it might take me a little bit to figure this out lol. The title comes from a George Harrison song; it’ll make more sense the longer the story goes.

@xemopeachx @sweetsummertime99 @lyssa1385 @tropes-and-tales @esparza-army @jramirezblogs @thatesparzacrush

September 1989

“Ma why do we have to switch schools for our Freshman year?” Anthony Rossetti Jr, or Tony as he was called, practically whined while his mother, Stella fixed breakfast.

“Stop whining, Junior,” his twin sister, Elizabeth or Izzy, said as she came in the kitchen, holding her blue and white plaid tie. “Ma a little help?”

“You two are going to have to learn to tie these yourselves,” Stella laughed as she took the tie from her daughter.

Stella Rossetti had accepted a position as the guidance counselor at a Catholic school in the South Bronx, after spending many years teaching high school English at a public school in their Brooklyn neighborhood of Bensonhurst.

“And to answer your question, Junior, the schools in this neighborhood are getting worse. Plus, since I work there, your dad and I don’t have to pay tuition. Also, you two have basically went to school with the same people all your lives and it wouldn’t hurt you to make some new friends.”

“Isn’t that what college is for?” Tony asked with a mouth full of eggs.

“Could you be anymore disgusting?”

“Come on, sis, you like seafood.”

“Junior, stop being gross,” their father said as he came in for breakfast.

FDNY Lieutenant Anthony Rossetti Sr. had come in from his shift around 6 am. He wanted to see his kids off to their first day of their freshman year and to wish his wife of 17 years luck on her first day of her new position.

“Come on, kids. Hurry up and finish your breakfast. We don’t want to be late,” Stella told her twins.

“God, we’re gonna look like such nerd riding to school with our Mom,” Tony muttered. “Well, you more than me, sis.”

Izzy had braces and Tony had teased her non-stop since she got them in the summer.

“Leave your sister alone, Junior,” Anthony instructed his namesake as he loaded his plates with the scrambled eggs and bacon his wife had made.

*****

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” Izzy said after she bumped into a guy, whose locker was next to hers, causing her books to fall into the floor.

“It’s okay,” he told her with a kind tone. “Hey, weren’t you in my 4th period AP Biology class?”

“Uh…yeah,” she sort of stammered as she looked into the guys green eyes. “Izzy…”

“Rossetti. I remember. You’re the daughter of our new guidance counselor.”

“That’s me,” she sort of chuckled as she took a book from his hand.

“I’m Rafael. Rafael Barba.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Rafael.”

“You, too,” he smiled as he helped her to her feet.

“Hey, Ra-ffi.”

“Hey, Eddie, Alex. This is Izzy Rossetti.”

“Hi,” she said as she sort of waved at them.

“Rossetti? Uh-oh. You’re the counselor’s daughter,” Eddie teased.

“Yeah, that’s me,” she repeated.

“Well, welcome to Monsignor Scanlan High School,” Alex said with smarmy smile that Izzy uncomfortable.

“So, what’s your next class?” Rafael asked her.

“Uh, lunch, actually.”

“Us too. You want to join us?”

“Maybe another time, Rafael. I need to find my brother.”

“I’m gonna hold you to it,” he smiled.

“It was nice to meet you guys,” she told Alex and Eddie before heading to the cafeteria.

“That girl is hot,” Eddie told Rafael.

“I don’t know about the braces,” Alex mentioned.

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, Rafi. You don’t want that amount of metal near your dick if she’s giving you head.”

“Seriously, man?!”

“I’m just saying. I mean, yeah, she is hot but those braces are scary.”

“I think they’re cute,” Rafael added.

“Uh-oh. Our boy has a crush,” Eddie laughed.

“Come on. I’m hungry,” Rafael told them as they headed to the cafeteria.

********************

“Baby girl why are you eating lunch in my office?” Stella asked her daughter.

“I don’t fit in here, Ma.”

“It’s been a half a day. Have you met anyone?”

“Well…I met a guy,” Izzy said with a small smile.

“Really? Is he cute?”

“Unbelievably so, Mom. His name is Rafael Barba.”

“Barba…Barba? I wonder if he’s Lucia’s son?”

“Who?”

“You remember Lucia Barba. She taught with me at PS 128.”

“Sort of,” Izzy shrugged as she picked at the cheeseburger she had got from the cafeteria.

“What happened to my daughter that didn’t meet a stranger?”

“I don’t know.”

“She’s still there,” Stella chuckled as she took a bite of her own cheeseburger.

“Why are me and Tony on different schedules?”

“Because I thought it would be best. You two have been joined at the hip since before you were born. You need to make new friends, meet new people.”

“I guess.”

The first bell rang, signaling to the 11:30 lunchers that they had 10 minutes to get to their 6th period class.

“I gotta go, Ma. Thanks for letting me have lunch with you.”

“Of course, baby girl. I know this is different from public school but you’re gonna do great.”

“Thanks.”

Izzy headed to her AP American History class.

“Ah, yes, Miss Rossetti. There is an empty desk next to Mr. Barba. Rafael, raise your hand so Elizabeth can find her desk.”

“It’s Izzy,” she told her teacher as she made her way to the desk next to Rafael.

She opened her book to the page Mr. Cervantes had said and was doing her best to concentrate but her attention was mainly on Rafael. He had his hand up to answer any question that was asked.

“Miss Rossetti?”

“Huh?”

“What started World War I?”

“The assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand from Austria,” she answered without missing a beat.

“Just making sure you were paying attention to something other than Mr. Barba.”

Some of the kids in the class giggled as she wanted to die in her seat.

***********

“Don’t let Cervantes get under your skin,” Rafael told her as they walked out of class.

“I was just amazed at your knowledge,” she lied.

“I like to read,” he shrugged as they walked down the hall. “Speaking of…did I see a copy of ‘Less Than Zero’ in your hand earlier?”

“You did. Bret Easton Ellis is one of my favorite authors.”

“I saw the movie…”

“Oh no. The movie and the book are so different. Julian, Robert Downey Jr’s character, doesn’t die in the book.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Have you ever read anything by Kurt Vonnegut?”

“Can’t say that I have.”

“You should. ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ is really good. I think you’d like it.”

“Well, I might have to check it out.”

“So, my friend Alex thinks you’re hot.”

“Yeah?” She asked, even though she didn’t want Alex to be one of the three to think she was hot.

“Yeah. You think you might be interested…”

“Not really. I mean, no offense but I have basketball try-outs next week and honestly, he doesn’t seem like my type.”

“I understand,” Rafael chuckled. “So, you’re an athlete, huh?”

“I’ve been playing basketball since I was 10. You?”

“The only thing I play is Chess…and Nintendo.”

“I could give you a run for your money.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I’ve beat Super Mario Brothers 1 & 2 several times.”

He laughed at her joke.

“I could probably kick your ass at Chess, too, though.”

“Challenge accepted, Rossetti,” he told her with a smirk.

*********

“Hey, you’re Izzy, right?” A girl with brown hair asked as she opened the other locker next to Izzy’s.

“Uh, yeah.”

“Erin Harris. We have History together.”

“Right, yeah. You sit in the back.”

“So Mr. Cervantes will leave me alone. How do you like it here so far?”

“It’s been a week,” Izzy shrugged. “It’s not so bad, I guess. I’ve just been used to public school all my life.”

“I know the feeling. My parents made me transfer here to the junior high last year because I kept ‘getting in trouble’,” Erin laughed.

“I see.”

“I’m not that bad. Honestly. Just hung around with the wrong crowd. Dying my hair pink was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”

“Wow.”

“So, uh, you like Rafael?”

Izzy was a little taken aback by Erin’s blunt question. “Wha-what do you mean?”

“I sit behind you and see the way you stare at him during class.”

“I mean…he’s cute,” she shrugged.

“Well, he’s in love with Yelina Ortiz so, don’t get your hopes up.”

“Who’s she?”

“Come on. She has the same lunch we do. I’ll show her to you.”

After Izzy and Erin sat down with their diet cokes and nachos they had gotten from the a la carte table, Erin pointed out Yelina to Izzy. She was tall, long dark hair, and very beautiful dark skin. Izzy gave up any hope of dating Rafael in that instance. She saw the way he practically fawned over her; Alex did, too, though.

“Are they dating?”

“No. That’s the thing. He follows her everywhere but she only dates older guys.”

“How do you know this?”

“It was like that last year in eighth grade even. It’s kinda sad cause he’s a very nice guy. Really sweet.”

Just then, across the lunch room, Rafael looked up to see Izzy looking at him. He sort of smiled, causing her to blush and look back to Erin.

“He’s coming over here.”

“No, he’s not.”

“If you’re gonna make the basketball team, shouldn’t you be eating better?” Rafael teased as he took a seat at their table. “Hey, Erin.”

“What’s up?”

“It doesn’t hurt to cheat once in a while,” Izzy giggled. “Hey! Don’t you have your own lunch?”

“I already ate it,” he smiled as he popped the cheese drenched chip in his mouth.

Izzy couldn’t help but laugh at the cheese that had dripped onto his chin.

“What?”

“You got…you…here,” she told him as she wiped his chin.

“Oops,” he laughed. Erin nudged Izzy and discreetly motioned toward Yelina, who was burning a hole through Izzy at that very moment.

“I think you’re…uh…friend is getting a little jealous.”

“She’ll be fine,” Rafael told her as he continued to sit with Erin and Izzy for the remainder of lunch before their history class.

The three of them walked down the hall after lunch to their class. Erin took the desk directly behind Izzy instead of her normal seat in the very back.

“You’re in my seat, Erin,” Bradley Walker told her.

“Now it’s mine. There’s a few other empty ones.”

“Ugh, whatever.”

********************

“You’re not going to the winter formal?”

“No, Ma,” Izzy answered as they worked on dinner one night in November.

“Why not. We could get you a beautiful dress, get your hair done…”

“No one’s asked me,” she shrugged.

“I thought Alex Munoz asked you. That’s what your brother said.”

“I can’t stand Alex, Ma. And he didn’t ask me. He told me I was gonna go with him more or less. I don’t need someone making decisions for me.”

“He was probably just playing around.”

“Still…there is nothing attractive about him whatsoever.”

“Well, you and Erin could always go with each other. Surely guys would ask you to dance.”

“Maybe.”

“Do you know this girl your brother is taking?”

“Heather? A little, not well though. She seems nice enough.”

“How’s my two favorite girls?” Anthony asked as he kissed his wife on the cheek.

“Good. How’d you sleep?”

“Decent enough. Uh, Izz, there’s someone in the living room to see you.”

“Me? Who?”

“That boy that hangs out with your brother.”

“That could be anybody, Pop.”

“I can’t keep all his friend’s straight. Just go see. I can finish helping your mother.”

“Okay.”

She opened the kitchen door and found Rafael, still in his school uniform.

“Hey, Raf,” she smiled. “My dad did tell you Tony was…”

“Yeah, I know. I came to see you, actually.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. You know the winter formal is in a few weeks?”

“I’m aware,” she laughed.

“Your brother said you didn’t have a date and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me?”

“Uh…uh…”

“It’s just a ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” he said with a smirk.

“I just thought maybe you’d go with Yelina.”

“Yelina?” He laughed. “Please. She wouldn’t go to the dance with a nerd like me.”

“You’re not a nerd,” she told him as she tilted her head. “And yes, I’d like to go with you.”

“Are you saying that out of pity or because you really want to go with me?”

“I’d really like to go with you.”

“Then it’s a date. I’ll see you school at tomorrow.”

“Rafael what brings you by?” Stella asked after she came out of the kitchen.

“I…uh…I just asked your daughter if she’d like to escort me to the winter formal.”

“Is that right? And what did you say, Elizabeth Machelle?”

“Well, of course, she said ‘yes’, Mrs. Rossetti.”

“Jeez, Rafael,” Izzy said as she rolled her eyes.

“Well, I am finishing up manicotti that my son asked for but he can’t keep himself at home so you’re more than welcome to stay for dinner.”

“I should probably get home.”

“Nonsense. I’ll call your mom.”

“Oh, okay. Sure, thanks.”

Stella called Lucia who said it was fine if Rafael stayed for dinner and Anthony said he would make sure he got home instead of taking the subway back to the Bronx.

********************

Izzy had found a simple, strapless black mid-length dress with sequins but not too flashy at all.

Rafael showed up in a black 3-piece suit with a red tie. Izzy was impressed to say the least. She had only seen him in his school uniform, other than the few times he had come over on the weekends in jeans and t-shirts.

“You look beautiful,” he smiled at his date when she came down stairs. Her blond hair was done in ringlets which had given her a headache as they were being done but a couple of Advil later, she was fine and ready to go.

“Thanks, Raf. You look…pretty good, too.”

“And we all know, I look great,” Tony laughed.

“Okay, Tony. Where’s your date?”

“We’re picking her up on the way, Dad. Thanks again for getting us the car.”

“Well, I thought it was better than you guys taking a cab or the subway.”

“Yeah, thanks, Mr. Rossetti.”

“Not a problem, Rafael. I want my daughter home by 11.”

“Yes, sir.”

“If there’s one hair on her head out of place…”

“Dad!!!”

“I’m just kidding, princess. You guys have fun.”

They let Stella take a few pictures before they left. They sat in the town car, Rafael’s legs bouncing as he nervously ran his hands on his knees.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine, Izz,” he smiled to which Tony just sort of laughed, earning a nudge in his ribs from his sister.

***************

They finally arrived at the “Winter Wonderland” formal dance. It was basically a prom for the Freshman and Sophomores.

“There you are!!” Erin exclaimed when she saw Izzy walk in with Rafael.

“I told you I’d be here,” Izzy laughed at her now best friend.

“You look amazing. Doesn’t she, Rafael?”

“Yes, Erin. I already told her she looked great.”

“Come on, let’s dance.”

“Erin…”

“It’s okay, cariño. Go have fun. I’ll get us something to drink,” Rafael told her. She didn’t know what “cariño” meant but it didn’t sound bad.

Cyndi Lauper’s “Girls Just Want to Have Fun” blasted over the speakers as Izzy and Erin danced while they laughed and sang along.

She noticed Rafael sitting at a table with Eddie and Alex as he watched her.

Erin had actually went to the dance with Eddie so they went to sit with their dates.

Soon Depeche Mode’s “Just Can’t Enough” started playing.

“Dance with me, Raf?”

“I don’t really like to dance.”

“Come on. It’ll be fun,” Izzy told him.

“What the hell?” He shrugged as he took her hand and led her to the dance floor. She didn’t understand why he didn’t like to dance because the boy sure knew how to move. Robert Palmer’s “Simply Irresistible” came on next so the two of them continued to dance.

“How about a break? Some food maybe?”

“Uh, sure, Raf,” Izzy agreed as she was working up an appetite after dancing.

After a few snacks and a couple more glasses of punch, Erin grabbed Izzy as The Romantics “Talking in Your Sleep” started playing.

“So, uh, what’s up with you and Rossetti?” Alex asked.

“We’re friends,” Rafael told them. “She didn’t have a date and neither did I so I asked her…”

“Rafi?”

“Uh…hey, Yelina.”

“Your date seems to be more into her best friend than you.”

“She’s just having fun,” he shrugged. “We’re just friends. It’s not like she has to be by my side the whole time.”

“Hey, Yelina, you want to dance?” Alex asked.

“No thanks, Alex. My date is getting us something to drink,” she said as she motioned to the Senior that she had been dating, Riley Watkins.

Izzy noticed Yelina and immediately grabbed Erin and headed back to the table. She promptly took her seat next to Rafael, pushing Yelina out of the way with her butt.

“Izzy. I wondered why you were leaving this poor guy all alone,” Yelina snarked.

“Hey, Raf, you want to join me for another dance?” She asked as Billy Idol’s “Hot in the City” started playing.

“You bet,” he smiled.

They continued to dance. They were even warned by one of the teachers that was chaperoning that they were a little too close. Izzy wanted to make a move on him so bad.

“You know, I really like the red and green rubber bands you have on your braces,” he told her as they danced to Journey’s “Open Arms”.

“Uh, thanks,” she said as she felt her face get hot. She was so glad it was dark enough that he couldn’t see her blush.

“Would it be okay if I…” he asked as he moved in closer to her, making her heart skip a beat.

“Can I cut in?” Yelina had the audacity to ask.

Izzy knew Rafael was in love with her and actually let her.

She went to the bathroom with Erin following close behind.

“What the hell was that?”

“What?”

“You let Yelina dance with him? Are you crazy?!”

“What was I gonna say?”

“How about, ‘fuck no! He’s here with me,’?”

“We’re just friends.”

“He was about to kiss you.”

“No, he wasn’t.”

“Are you that fucking oblivious?!”

“Erin…”

“Her date left. She’s here alone now. She’s trying to swoop in on your guy.”

“He’s not my guy.”

“I’m just trying to help you, here.”

“I’m fine, Erin. Really.”

Rafael had went looking for Izzy after sharing half a dance with Yelina and found her coming from the bathroom of their school’s gym.

“Hey, you want another dance?”

“Actually, I think I’d like to go home.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’m getting tired. Erin has been wearing me out,” she lied.

“Oh. Okay. Do you want me to find Tony and Heather?”

“They still have an hour before curfew. I can catch a cab.”

“No, you can’t. You came with me and I’m going to make sure you get home safely.”

“I’ve got her,” Erin said with a glare.

“Erin I can get her home. It’s fine.”

“I’m going with you then.”

“Whatever.”

************

Erin told Eddie she was ready to leave so he decided he’d go, too, even though she told him he didn’t have to.

Tony told his twin that he had enough money to get a cab for him and Heather and for her to take the car their dad had gotten for them.

The ride to Bensonhurst was a quiet one. Once the driver pulled up to Izzy’s house, she and Erin got out but Rafael insisted on walking Izzy to the door.

“I had a good time tonight with you.”

“Yeah, me too,” she smiled.

Erin leaned against the porch wall with her arms crossed, her eyes shooting daggers into Rafael.

“Erin can you give us a minute?”

“Uh no,” Erin replied to Rafael.

“Here’s my key, Erin. Just go up to my room.”

“If you say so, Izz,” she scoffed as she took the key chain from her best friend and unlocked the door.

“So, I guess I’ll see you Monday?”

“Yeah, Rafael,” Izzy nodded.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight.”

“I had a good time.”

“I’m glad. Well, I guess I should be going.”

“Okay.”

He started to move closer to her but the kiss landed on her cheek instead of her lips like she had hoped.

They said one last good-bye before she went inside.

#rafael barba #fanfic

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liarbabe · 6 years

Text

“Weird.”

What is weird? What does weird mean?

Is it something we don’t understand? Something that makes us uncomfortable? Something that makes no sense?

For my classmates, weird meant... me.

It started out pretty early on, in 4th grade, I think.

I was an extremely loud and dramatic kid with an overworked imagination and I got bored easily. I wasn’t easy to deal with.

I used to build these worlds and characters and magical beings all around me, and then I’d bring them to the real world and play with them. In front of the other kids.

At some point, they started to realize something was wrong with me.

What is she talking to? And why is she always playing alone?

They started being careful around me. Suspicious.

But I didn’t give a shit. I mean, I had my best friend, my worlds, my brothers, i was living my best life, man. Why was I supposed to care about those stupid boring kids?

After the end of 5th grade, my best friend moved to a different school. It wasn’t far away, we’d still see each other on weekends, but he wasn’t around as often anymore.

He’d left me. I was alone. An over-imaginative little kid, alone in a world full of children who were growing up too fast.

That’s when the word weird started sticking to me like glue.

There was this one kid, Simon, who liked me a lot apparently, because everytime he’d see me (and we were in the same class, so it happened frequently) he’d start spurting out those lovely insults and sad jokes all his friends adored. His favourite one was “decerebrata”, which in English can translate as brainless. He was an insecure rude kid with an inferiority complex, obviously he didn’t know the meaning of the word. He liked the sound of it. And the way it made me feel. Because I was the one who read books, I knew what that word meant. And I didn’t exactly like it.

And I have to thank him for helping me realize something so vital, something that influenced me so much I still haven’t gotten rid of it completely.

What I realized, was that the more insecure you make people, the meaner they will get.

And I suspected that my being weird (word I was starting to get used to) was the thing that made them insecure, even though I didn’t exactly know how.

So my twelve-year-old, tired brain concluded that the solution was... to stop being weird.

“That’s it” i thought. “I cracked the code! I become a normal kid, they don’t get insecure, and maybe stop being mean to me!”

And that’s what i did.

I started cutting off pieces of my personality, my way of talking, of reacting. Only years later I’d realize in the process, I had cut off many of the things that made me... me.

I tried to restrict the weirdness to reading books, but that was viewed as weird as well, so I stopped doing that too.

By the end of eighth grade, I had become an introvert.

I, the loud kid that would go on monologuing about what they’d invented that afternoon to anyone who’d even just pretend to listen, had become a quiet, shy kid.

Middle school was kinda hell.

Then we got to high school. Which was better, on many levels.

Since my extra ass couldn’t bear to keep the extra-ness in the closet anymore, on day two of hs I’d already gone back to full weirdo. But I was different. Partly I had grown, so many of the things that I used to do back in middle school had lost their appeal, but partly I was just... scarred. All that cutting off without distinctions, and I ended up losing a few things forever. Plus, I was scared, now. Hiding it was just too tiring, so I just got weird whenever I felt like it, but there was this voice in my head that kept saying “oh my god, look at how they’re staring at you, look at how that one is trying not to laugh at you, look at them, normal kids, thinking how fucking weird you are”.

Simon and I had gone to different schools, and the few friends of his that had gone to my school just didn’t care enough, I guess. I actually became friends wih some of them, later on.

So that was out of the way. The direct confrontation had stopped, because kids get more subtle as they grow up.

The laughing stopped and the whispering started.

I didn’t realize at first. I was just too happy to be back to my usual self.

But around half of 9th grade, it was January, i think, I was sitting in maths class, trying to pay attention to whatever the teacher was saying, and I overheard a conversation.

Sitting behind me was Lewis, one of the popular kids, decently pretty but as smart as a peanut, because he “whispered” (and I say “whispered” because not only I, sitting in front of him, but the whole class heard him) to his deskmate:

“Man, *my name* is so fucking weird”.

I got war flashbacks.

I didn’t give a shit about Lewis. I’d talked to him maybe once. I didn’t know him, and he didn’t know me.

So fucking weird.

Weird.

The only thing I could think of was “please, not again.”

And that’s how “weird” makes people feel.

I’m white, cis and able-bodied, so I know nothing about oppression.

But neither do you, other white, cis and able-bodied people. Do you know how being called “weird” feels like?

Weird implicating different, uncomfortable. Wrong.

I’ve never heard the black kids in my grade, or that Middle Eastern blind guy in my English class, or that trans girl who took the same bus as me for three years, call me weird. Not even once.

Is it okay to hate on people for something they can’t control?

For something that doesn’t affect you in the slightest?

Just because you don’t know how to deal with them?

Trust me, there are soooo many words better than weird.

One of them is interesting.

Instead of blindly hating, can we try understanding first? People are being scarred, mentally and physically, because we, as a society, are used to judging before we know anything.

And I don’t think that’s okay.

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chaotic-weevil · 5 years

Text

Judy Ahrens is NOT our friend

So, the May special election is here, and chances are you’re not too worried about it. Most candidates are unopposed, there’s just one or two measures on the ballot, and all the positions seem to be fairly harmless.

Well, this is sadly not the case. Everyone living in the Three Rivers School District area (most of Josephine County except Grants Pass, and parts of Jackson County) gets to vote in one of the most important races for our community.

Likely the only contested race on your ballot, TRSD Board position two has incumbent Danny York going up against a Judy Ahrens.

Mr. York has my vote, and I beg you to give him yours.

I’m sure you’ll want to know why.... but first, TL;DR:

this is a long post. basically, the gist is that Judy Ahrens is a terrible person and we need to make sure she cannot win this election. If you don’t want to read all my analysis, go ahead and skip to part 4. If you don’t want to read any of it, just go check out her website yourself. Make sure to read her bio page.

With that out of the way, let’s delve in:

At first glance, Danny York seems the lesser option. York has an extremely brief statement in the voters’ pamphlet, and no college education, while Ahrens boasts an Associates, and has a long, detailed statement. And of course, Ahrens is a woman, and the conventional knowledge is that women are better in leadership positions.

But some parts of Judy Ahrens’ statement rubbed me wrong, so I did some research. And what I found terrified me.

To start, let’s analyze her statement in the voters’ pamphlet. I’ll go section by section and address each of the points.

Dear Voters:

While living in Southern California, I was heavily involved with the PTA, the Eastwood Site Council, and many other activities related to children. Then nine years ago I moved to Josephine County. It’s gorgeous scenery and friendly people still awe me and my passion for providing the best education for our children continues right here.

So far, so good. We learn she has experience with education and leadership positions, and a love for this community. But wait ‘til she gets to her platform:

Why I’m running:

1. To guarantee that Parents’ Rights come first. Parents currently are fighting against a bill in Salem which forces vaccinations on all children attending Oregon public schools. I back these parents 100%.

“Parents’ Rights” is a term you see thrown around here and there. Usually, this means parents’ rights to control the curriculum or content their children are exposed to, or to have medical & bodily control over their kids. And usually it comes from the Christian Right, which I’m a little wary of (that’s the folks with the sin signs that like to go to local events and yell on megaphones about how queer people are going to hell).

In this case, Ahrens is taking the medical side of the Parents’ Rights issue, cleverly appealing to anti-vaxxers on both ends of the political spectrum (the religious my-body-is-my-temple folks and the no-chemicals-for-me hippies alike). However, as we’ll see shortly, she quickly extends this into the more morally concerning social arena.

2. To protect traditional family values which are currently under attack. All sex education materials and instructions should be scrutinized for age appropriateness and content by a committee that includes parents.

Nothing makes this bisexual pro-LGBT-rights guy uncomfortable quite like the phrase “traditional family values.” It might as well be code for “homosexuality is a sin,” and is usually accompanied by extreme bigotry. Needless to say, we don’t want bigots on the school board. And phraseology like “currently under attack” means she sees gender and sexuality diversity as an organization or movement trying to attack a way of life. That’s not who we are, and that’s an extremely toxic, harmful mindset.

But wait.... there’s more! I don’t know how Ahrens crammed so many red flags into one bullet point, but her take on sex ed is also disastrous. Sex ed is crucial, especially in low-income rural communities like ours. Kids need to know about consent and sexual abuse, safe sex practices, how to get birth control, healthy and unhealthy relationships, hygiene and sexual health, safe/unsafe masturbation, gender and sexuality, and so many other things. Current curriculum isn’t perfect, but schools are getting better at this, especially in Oregon.

Parents simply do not know better than professional educators what their kids need to know about sex. Surveys have shown that parents tend to think their kids are less sexually active/aware than they are, at pretty much every age and development level, so parents likely won’t think a lesson is age appropriate until it’s too late for some kids. And many parents who view sex, or pre-marital sex, or maybe just teen sex, as a bad thing might want abstinence-only sex ed, which is highly ineffective.

But the biggest problem is that this ties directly into Ahrens’ other problematic views. Having already pegged her as a likely member of the Christian Right, I can already guess what “sex-education materials” she’ll want to get rid of: anything having to do with LGBT+ issues, abortion, masturbation, sex for pleasure, or birth control. And these are arguably some of the most important roles sex-ed plays, giving marginalized students or students who cannot ask at home access to valuable, impartial and trusted information.

At this point, I’m getting pretty uncomfortable with Judy Ahrens, but the worst is yet to come.

3. To make sure academic achievement is the No. 1 priority above all other programs in the Three Rivers School District.

Okay, so this isn’t so much a social justice or moral issue; but why? Yes academics should be a priority, but school should also focus on the arts, physical activity, extracurriculars, and (personally I think this should be #1) students’ mental health. But this isn’t too big of an issue, I can easily let it slide.

Our current statistics show:

- Third Grade English Proficiency 43% - Eighth Grade Math Proficiency 35% - 12th Grade Tracking for Graduation 68%

Yeah, that’s pretty concerning. We should probably address that. But check out her “solutions”:

My solutions for such low results:

A. Have only the best phonics-based reading instructions used in the early grades. Also have rigorous teaching programs for mastering spelling, grammar, and writing skills.

B. Re-examine Common Core, the dubious government standard for math instruction. We need to get “back to basics” and teach fundamentals if we want our students’ math scores to improve.

This is just beyond me. I don’t have a degree in it (tho I will in a few years!) but I know a fair amount about linguistics and pedagogy. I also went to elementary school in our district. “Phonics” is an extremely broad and vague category that generally means teaching letter sounds. My teachers did this. I’m pretty sure most teachers do this. But guess what; they’re trained but professionals who literally study how to teach kids to read and write. “Only the best phonics” sounds vaguely Trump-esque to me. In any case, it wouldn’t be a huge shift from the current policy, and kinda sounds like she doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

Which only seems more likely when you get to the second paragraph. Common Core is far from perfect, yes. But calling it the “dubious government standard” is too reminiscent of the Parents’ Rights philosophy. I guarantee you the average parent doesn’t know a better way to teach math. Additionally, Common Core literally is an attempt to go back to the basics. And it was implemented because math scores were abysmally low. People criticize Common Core because it’s not what they’re used to, but all it’s really doing is teaching kids to connect abstract ideas with concrete scenarios. Which is what math is all about.

C. Provide programs that instill strong patriotism in our students, including having all classes begin each day with the Pledge of Allegiance.

Uh-oh. Okay, so I have no problem with patriotism. But this sounds.....fascist? America-centrist? America First-ish? Nationalistic?

I’ve never liked the pledge of Allegience. For one thing it goes directly against the establishment clause (”under god”, seriously? I’m religious but that still bothers me), but also, we should be teaching our kids to think openly, to make their own decisions, and to be their own agents. And definitely not to just repeat-after-me and sign-on-the-dotted-line. If we want our kids to be patriotic, we should show them the true face of this country, encourage them to get involved, tell the good and bad sides to our history. Make them patriotic by giving them reasons to be, not by having them memorize a pledge they don’t even understand all the words to. Which brings me to...

D. We need to provide teachers with honest and accurate instructional materials in order to give students a solid background in American History and the U.S. Constitution.

Okay, so I actually completely agree with this. However, I suspect that my and Judy Ahrens’ ideas on what is “honest and accurate” may be more than a little different. For me, I think the key here is making sure to teach the bad as well as the good, and be frank about the ways that the US has violated and still does violate the very rights and liberties we strive to protect. Only by recognizing one’s faults can one grow stronger, and the same can be said of a society or nation. Given her love of patriotism, I suspect Ahrens wants more of a whitewashed, postitive portrayal of our history. But she’s unclear (perhaps on purpose) so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Let’s make our schools great again.

This is an *obvious* echo of MAGA. Which should scare you.

I would appreciate your support and vote on May 21, 2019.

So that’s that for her pamphlet statement. But it got me concerned enough that I decided to do a little more research. And found out just how disastrous she really is.

Part Two: Under the Surface

So I went to her campaign website. It’s not very well designed, or secure, but you can check it out if you want.

Most of the content there is pretty much verbatim what’s in the pamphlet, but there’s a few noteworthy additions:

Following the daily pledge of allegiance, she calls for “a minute of silence.” I don’t know why.

The sex-ed clause has grown: “We need to protect traditional family values which are currently under attack. All sex education materials including classroom videos, textbooks, and discussions should be scrutinized for age appropriateness and content by a committee that includes parents. AND....parents must have the final say if they want to OPT OUT of any such activity/instruction they feel inappropriate for their child.” She definitely wants to make sure children don’t have to get subjected to educational, important information about sex (because sex is evil?). Curious how discussions can be scrutinized by parents, I’m assuming ahead of time.

She mentions participation in Vacation Bible School and Right To Life March (an anti-choice organization), confirming my suspicions that she’s firmly within the Christian Right. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s definitely cause for concern.

She has a list of “patriotic holidays” she wants to instill in students. One of them is Columbus Day, an extremely problematic and racist holiday.

Finally, there are two aspects of her website that led me to dig deeper.

Part Three: Silencing Abuse Victims

So, in her bio on her website, Ahrens brags about banning a book:

Promoting traditional family values, helped to stop a certain controversial book (with heavy sexual content) form getting into Ocean View School District school libraries.

I was curious, so I investigated. Wanna know what the book was?

I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou

Apparently her complaint was that it had sex scenes that were inappropriate for children. If you’re unfamiliar, the novel is semi-autobiographical, and includes descriptions of the sexual abuse Angelou faced as a child. It’s heavy stuff for sure, but also extremely important. It’s widely regarded as one of the most important pieces of feminist literature, and it tilts white male dominant America on its head. I read it when I was 12. It was disturbing. But it’s a book that is meant to disturb, and I’m very glad I read it when I did.

Now, I wouldn’t recommend that book to an eight year old. But this was in a middle school environment (read: kids aged 11-14). In fact, there was already a limitation: only eighth graders could check the book out. So we’re talking 13-14-year-olds. Now that may still seem young, but by age 12 most girls are already used to sexual harassment, and one in four will have been sexually assaulted by age 16. So reading the story of a survivor could be very helpful.

My biggest issue with this, though, is the way Judy Ahrens portrays it. “A certain controversial book”, she calls it, “with heavy sexual content.” It sounds meritless, obscene, pornographic. Instead, it is a renowned work of literature. Banning this book is not just removing some uncomfortable sex or disturbing abuse from the shelves; it is silencing the voices of victims and of women of color, voices which we should be raising.

This tale is a warning: Judy Ahrens favors censorship. This is scary. We already know she doesn’t like sex ed; will she fight to have educational books removed from libraries. Will she try to ban books that have gender and sexuality diverse characters? Given the next and final story in our saga, I’d not be at all surprised.

Part Four: Homophobic and Proud of It

It stands to reason that I, being a member of the LGBT+ community, would be most bothered by this. But I think, anyone would be bothered by this. Any decent, non-bigoted person, that is.

Right in the middle of her bio page, is this lovely gem:

I was elected in 2002 to the Westminster School Board with my continued theme of "Back to Basics." While in office, I, with the help of two other board members, lead the controversial fight against the homo-sexual issue.

WE WON ! [sic]

So, hopefully y’all can see exactly waht’s wrong with this, and I don’t have to say. But it’s obvious as can be. Blatant homophobic bigotry. “The controversial fight against the homo-sexual issue” is such a hurtful way to say that, too. So anyways, she’s shown herself to be a gross homophobe.

But I was curious, so I dug deeper, and boy did I find a story. In 1999, the State of California passed a law adding gender identity and sexuality to the list of things on the basis of which students could report discrimination. By 2004, every school district in California except Westminster had incorporated this new language into their policy. Westminster refused to modify their anti-discrimination policy language protecting trans students. Press at the time (and this became a national story) described Judy Ahrens as the board member most opposed to protections for trans kids. She was quoted as saying that the state law promotes homosexuality and that she’s “really sad that the moral compass isn’t out there” and “disappointed that economics is trying to outweigh morality and protecting our kids in this district.”

This was in 2004. It’s 2019 now. Much has changed. Maybe she could have changed; I would have been maybe willing to accept that. But she’s literally proud of this. She is using it as a campaign point.

If Judy Ahrens wins this election, it will send the message to lgbt+ kids in our district and everywhere that voters don’t care about them or their safety. If Ahrens wins, it will send the message that bigotry is a viable way to run a campaign. If Ahrens wins, it will send the message that hate wins.

So please, join me in voting AGAINST Judy Ahrens.

Vote for Danny York, who is neither particularly qualified nor severely unqualified, but is infinitely better than the hateful, bigoted, religious-extremest Ahrens. Keep our district welcoming and accepting of diversity.

And don’t only vote. This matters. Tell everybody. Make noise. Write letters to the editor. Share this, on facebook. We can defeat evil, but only if we join and rise to face it. So join, and rise. Please.

Ballots must be received by May 21. Probably for the best to return it by the 19th or 20th at least.

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