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junetuesday · 4 years

Text

sweetener - [sixteen]

Trial and Error

Pairing: Tom Holland x Female Reader - uni AU

Word Count: ~7K

Warnings: smut, smut gone kinda wrong, alcohol/hangover mentions

A/N: some of the ~positions in this chapter kind of imply that the reader is of a similar height to tom so sorry if that bothers you! other than that pls enjoy as we all try to recover from that instagram story, hope everyone is staying safe and staying home as much as they’re able to ❣

Updates: dunno sorry i thought i had a schedule there for a minute but i lost it

Tom was very tired. So very, very tired.

Perhaps it had been a bad idea to go out last night, seeing as he was already knackered from work and lectures and training, but he and Harrison had gotten home from training and Adam said ‘we out tonight?’ and what was he supposed to say? No? To £1.50 pints? Of course not. So, now, here he was on Tuesday afternoon, not even that hungover but just tired, trying not to fall asleep in a lecture.

Apart from the fact that he’d nearly whacked his chin on the desk three times in the last ten minutes, though, his head drooping as he nodded off, he was pretty happy. He’d had a whole weekend with just you, which was nice, no interruptions or awkward interactions with housemates on the stairs, and you were now Officially Together, which was even nicer. He’d been a bit surprised when you’d brought it up on Friday night - but not in a bad way, he just hadn’t really thought about it. He wondered afterwards what he would have said if someone had asked him if you were his girlfriend, like Ruby had asked you. Yes? Probably? Maybe? No one had asked so it had never really occurred to him to put a label on your relationship, but when he thought about after he decided that if pressed he probably would have said yes.

In any case that was all cleared up now, “Facebook Official” and everything - he’d even told his mum. Well, that might be stretching the truth a little - he’d been on FaceTime to her on Sunday night and his brother Harry had come into the room and said ‘hey Tom how’s your girlfriend?’. It had been kind of hard to gauge his tone because he was shoving crisps into his mouth as he spoke, but it sounded snarky and Tom was fairly sure he had no interesting in actually hearing how you were and just wanted to tease him for having a girlfriend while simultaneously dropping him in it with their mum. Tom’s suspicions were confirmed when she looked directly into the camera with a high pitched ‘what? Who!’ and Harry promptly left the room, leaving Tom to murmur ‘um, well, uh…’ while he tried to think how best to explain your relationship. It wasn’t that he’d been actively hiding you from his family, he’d mentioned you in passing a few times to his brothers,but it just hadn’t really come up. Maybe he should have mentioned it before putting it on Facebook, but what was he supposed to do, just message the family chat like hey btw i have a girlfriend now? In the end he just said you were a friend of his housemate’s and that you’d met a couple of months ago, electing to skip over the part about how he already knew of you from work beforehand because that was quite embarrassing and not really something he wanted to share with his mother, and then he changed the subject and asked to see Tessa before making an excuse to hang up.

Familial video calls aside though, he’d had a nice weekend, and though it was only Tuesday he was already looking forward to the next one. Not just because he was tired and wanted a lie in, but this Friday was Valentine’s Day. He’d never really been bothered about it so he hadn’t even realised it was coming up, but once he did Tom wondered if your “talk” would have happened this week anyway, regardless of the Liv/Harrison situation, and not even because of the actual holiday itself, but because of the night out. Valentine’s Day at the SU had a traffic light system - wear red if you’re taken, green if you’re single, and yellow if...well, Tom wasn’t really sure what yellow was for. Maybe? Proceed with caution? Anyway, you probably would have ended up having the conversation about your relationship status before the party, because it would have been extremely awkward if you’d turned up in different colours. Now, however, you both knew you’d both be wearing red, so that was good to know - that is, if you ended up going out. You hadn’t talked about your plans yet, whether you’d go out like on a proper date, or stay in, or go out with everyone else. Tom didn’t really mind what you did, as long as he got to see you at some point, so he figured he’d speak to you about it later and see what you wanted to do.

For now though, he really needed to concentrate on this lecture. He was trying, he really was, only it was really quite boring and his eyelids were really heavy suddenly, and the lecturer’s voice sounded really far away…

aaaCHOO!

Tom’s head snapped up at the sound of the person next to him sneezing, his body jerking as he was startled back into consciousness. This was hopeless, there was no way he was going to be able to stay awake for the rest of the lecture if he didn’t do something to distract himself. The lecture content itself was clearly not interesting enough to keep him alert and awake, so he decided to see what you were up to instead, and you replied after a minute or two.

nm just back from lectures, watching a movie with liv and mads x

Oh cool what movie x

Even without knowing what movie you were watching, Tom was certain that he’d much prefer to be on your sofa watching TV, instead of sitting in this uncomfortable chair in a cold lecture hall. That was basically all you’d done all weekend, though obviously without your housemates - which was for the best, because it would have been really awkward if they’d been sitting there when the episode of Friends where they get a free adult TV channel came on and you’d asked him if he watched porn and he’d nearly choked on his tea. He’d just said ‘sometimes’ and then asked if you did before taking a big sip of his tea to try and look nonchalant (which was a mistake because it was still too hot but he wasn’t going to choke again on the same drink so he just let it burn his mouth and throat and nodded casually when you also said ‘sometimes’).

Bend it like Beckham lmao x

Arent you in a lecture rn x

Ahh a classic. Yeh i am but

Tom paused, considering how to finish that sentence. But now I’ve just remembered you talking to me about porn and it’s distracting ?? Hmm, no, probably not like that.

its really boring and im tired so i keep falling asleep 😴x

Okay, better, now stop thinking about it. He wasn’t even really sure what “it” was, just the general idea of you and porn, and porn-related activities, and things he shouldn’t be thinking about in a lecture.

Early night for you tonight x

Oh dear. That didn’t help, because now he was thinking that you were right, he probably would be in bed quite early - but would he be sleeping? Probably not, and he did not need to be thinking about what he’d be doing instead right now.

Tom checked the clock on the wall, pretending to be reading the lecture slides on the screen below it. Only twenty minutes left…

Want me to pick you up on the way home and we can go straight to bed? x

He debated putting a 😏 on the end, or maybe even a 😉, but ultimately decided against it before hitting send. You were supposed to be coming over to his later that evening anyway, but now he couldn’t really think of a reason to wait any longer than was absolutely necessary. Plus this way maybe you would actually get an early night, which wouldn’t be a bad idea considering he had to play rugby the next day.

Sounds like a plan. When do you finish x

20 mins x

He hoped you were on the same wavelength and understood that he didn’t actually plan to go to sleep at 4:30 in the afternoon (though he could use a nap, but he could do that after). He’d find out in half an hour or so, he supposed, he just had to stay awake until then.

It turned out to be a lot easier to stay awake once he had something else to think about besides what his lecturer was talking about, so soon enough Tom was texting you to say he was on his way, and then again to say he was parked on your street. He debated going to the door, but he decided that it was probably best if he didn’t just in case Liv saw him and wanted to hurt him just for being friends with Harrison.

“Hey!”

Your voice as you opened the passenger side door made Tom look up from his phone, slightly startled as he was waiting for you to text back and wasn’t expecting you to just appear out of nowhere.

“Oh- hey,” he reached over to grab his bag from the passenger seat so you could get in, tossing it into the backseat as you shoved your own bag into the footwell.

You smiled once he turned back to face you, reaching across the car to touch his cheek as he leaned over to give you a kiss hello.

“You look nice,” Tom said when you pulled back, settling back into your seat and putting on your seatbelt.

“Oh,” you looked down at your outfit, then over at Tom. “Thanks.”

It wasn’t a particularly exciting outfit, just jeans and a slouchy knitted jumper, but it was cute - or maybe that was just you, it was hard to tell. In any case it was time for Tom to stop admiring you and start driving, the drive between your houses passing quickly as you talked about your day so far.

“Oh crap,” Tom muttered under his breath as you walked up to the front door. His curtains were still closed, and he remembered then that his room was a complete mess.

You weren’t meant to be coming over until later on, so when he’d woken up late he’d just jumped in the shower in the hopes it would relieve his hangover, shoved on the cleanest clothes he could find, and ran out the door. So, instead of stepping back to let you in once he unlocked the front door, he went in ahead of you and went straight to his room to assess the damage. Besides the closed curtains, unmade bed, and wardrobe doors flung open, his open gym bag and workout clothes were on the floor, the towel he’d used after his speedy shower before heading out on top of them. In his semi-conscious state this morning he hadn’t been able to find said towel, so the one he’d used this morning was draped over the back of his desk chair. He was wearing the jeans he’d worn out last night, so at least they weren’t on the floor, but the shirt he’d worn was, as well as the pyjama bottoms he’d slept in, complete with boxers inside them, sitting very visibly right in the middle of the room. A couple of cider cans and the tub from the Pot Noodle he’d had for dinner littered his desk, and the bag he’d brought to yours on the weekend was open at the end of his bed, its contents spilling onto the floor. Fantastic.

“Sorry,” he mumbled as he quickly gathered all his clothes up into a pile and shoved them into the wardrobe. “D’you want a drink or anything?”

“Nah, I’m good,” you shook your head as you took off your jacket, setting it and your bag down by the door as it swung shut behind you.

“Okay, uh…” Tom trailed off, trying to fit his bags into the wardrobe and get the doors closed before everything started tumbling out. “Wanna put something on TV?”

“Umm… I dunno, is anyone home?”

“I don’t think so?”

Operation Wardrobe was mostly successful, in that the doors didn’t completely shut but nothing was falling out, so Tom considered that a win and moved on to straightening his duvet.

“Eh,” you laughed with a shrug. “Why bother then, we’re not going to watch it are we?”

“...yeah, fair enough.”

Deciding that his bed would do as it was and the curtains should probably remain closed, Tom moved towards you, his hands finding your waist as you pulled him closer by the collar of his jacket until your lips connected in a hurried kiss.

Guess you were on the same wavelength.

“I thought you were tired,” you smirked against his lips as he guided you across the room until your back was against the wall, his body pressed to yours.

“Well,” he sighed as he wiggled out of his jacket, your hands pushing it off his shoulders and down his arms. “I was, but I’ll persevere.”

Tom reached for the hem of your jumper as your lips reconnected, his fingers brushing over your waist as he pushed it up.

“Oh right, okay,” you giggled when you separated again for him to pull your jumper off over your head. “Well done, must be hard for you.”

Well, something was hard, if not the act of staying awake. What was vexing him at present, though, was how many layers you were wearing. Your coat and jumper were gone, but you still had a vest top on, tucked into your jeans - and was that a belt? A belt?! You had boots on too, plus whatever underwear you had on - what a nightmare - well not a nightmare, obviously your underwear wasn’t a nightmare, but--

Tom’s thoughts were cut off by you grabbing his face and kissing him again, and that was enough to get him to just get on with it. Your hands shifted from his cheeks to his shoulders and down his chest as he pulled your vest free. His tongue eagerly exploring your mouth, he kissed you more firmly before he stepped away to pull his hoodie and t-shirt off over his head. You followed suit, taking your vest off and dropping it on top of your jumper, then bending down to take off your boots while Tom kicked off his trainers.

His hands on your waist guided you towards the bed once you straightened up, one darting out to stop himself falling on top of you as you landed on your back on top of his crumpled sheets. Kissing as you went, you shuffled up to the top of the bed, you on your back and Tom beside you, leaning over you. Your legs tangled together, your fingers brushed through the back of his hair as he kissed down your neck and onto your chest, his lips following the line of your bra strap. Things started getting more complicated when he passed your collarbones though, and he realised that this was not your standard bra.

A pretty teal colour, your bra had complicated looking straps going across the tops of your breasts, just above the cups. The band was deeper than normal too, a sort of mesh lace covering your ribs almost down to your waist. After briefly pausing to consider whether to follow the cup or the strap (he chose the strap) Tom continued his line of kisses onto the centre of your chest, sucking and nipping at the skin in between your breasts. Your chest rose under him as you took a deep breath in, letting it out in a contented sigh as he lifted his head to look at you.

“This is fancy,” he ran his fingers over the thin strap decorating the top of your breast. “Did you wear this to uni?”

“No,” you shook your head, your chest moving under his hand as you laughed. “Bit much for a lecture, I think.”

You watched his hand as his fingertip trailed down between your breasts and along the underwire as he chuckled.

“Yeah, maybe.”

If you didn’t wear it when you went out, did that mean you changed into it just for him?

“What do you think, though?”

“Hmm?” Tom hummed, looking up to see you gesturing to your chest.

Were you actually asking what he thought of your bra? Or maybe just your boobs in general? It was more likely that you meant the bra, but either way the answer was the same.

“Oh, yeah, uh,” his eyes returned to your bra, like he even had to think about his reply. “Very nice.”

“Thanks… you know you’ve seen this bra before, actually.”

“Oh?”

Tom felt like he should probably look at your face instead of your chest while you were talking, but then you were talking about your bra, so many it was okay if he kind of went back and forth between them.

“Yeah, you know that Snapchat I sent you?”

“Ohh right, yeah.” Now he thought about it, it was actually kind of familiar, though if he was honest he had been more focused on the fact that you had sent him a picture of yourself in your bra than on what the bra itself looked like. “Thanks for that, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” you laughed again, a cute little laugh that didn’t really match up with the way your hand on the back of his neck pulled him into a kiss.

Tom shifted more on top of you as the kiss deepened, your hand slipping into the back pocket of his jeans to keep his body close to yours as you sucked on his bottom lip. Your other hand was still playing with his hair, your fingers twisting in the curls as he moved to kiss your neck.

“You know it’s funny actually,” you tilted your head to the side as you spoke, a gentle smile in your voice. “I didn’t mean to send that to you.”

…

…….

You what?

“Hmm?” he said instead, his face still buried in your neck but his eyes wide open.

“Yeah.”

That’s not helpful, who was it meant for?

Tom pulled back slightly, shifting to the side and resting his weight on one arm while he waited for you to expand.

“I was sending it to the girls and I just clicked on you too by accident.”

“Oh right… okay.”

He wasn’t really sure why you were telling him this now, or at all really, but if that’s all you meant then that was okay, right? It wasn’t like you meant to send it to another guy. Besides, that was ages ago, things were very different now. Like, if he’d found that out a few weeks ago he probably would have been a bit more freaked out because he had taken that snap as a sign that you were into him, so finding out that it hadn’t been meant for him at all would have kind of shattered that idea. As it was though, he had more than enough evidence now that you were into him, so it didn’t really matter too much now.

“Did you not think the caption was a bit weird?” you spoke again, taking him out of his thoughts and back to the present. “Like, why would I tell you I got this in the sale?”

“Oh, uh,” This is embarrassing - though not more embarrassing than sending a semi-nude to the wrong person. “To be honest, I didn’t read the caption.”

“You know what, that’s fair enough,” you laughed. “I’m glad I sent it anyway.”

“Me too.” Wait that sounds weird- “I mean not just because, like, obviously it’s always nice to see boobs-”

“Well yeah-”

“But it kinda like, you know-”

“-got things going?”

“...yeah,” Tom nodded, a smile growing across his face because yeah, that’s exactly what it did.

You were smiling too, and then before he knew it you were kissing again, his body shifting over yours. He kissed down your chest again, moving down the bed as he went, planning to take off your jeans - and his own, because they were feeling uncomfortably tight right now.

“Oh yeah, I was gonna say-”

Fighting the urge to sigh, Tom just looked up at you from where he was kissing the soft skin just below the band of your bra.

“-you know the other day when you said you wanted to try like, spanking or whatever-”

“Oh, I, uh-”

“- I was just wondering if there, you know, wasanythingelseyouwantedtotry?”

You’d said the last part in one quick go, the words running into each other, leaving Tom blinking up at you as he played them through in his head at half speed. Once he’d worked out what you’d said though, he still didn’t know what to say, because he definitely had not expected you to say that.

“Erm… uh… I don’t know…”

“Oh. Okay, never mind-” your voice went quieter, your face turning slightly as you looked away.

“No, like, it’s just - I can’t think of anything right now, but I’m sure - can I come back to you on that?”

Your eyes met his again, and your face relaxed into a small smile as you nodded.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool.”

He waited a moment to see if you had anything else you wanted to say, but you just ran your fingers through his hair and said nothing, so he took that to mean he could continue. He pressed a few more kisses to your stomach before unbuckling your belt, undoing your jeans and pulling them down your legs once you lifted your hips to help him get them off. He swallowed as he tossed your jeans onto the floor, not taking his eyes off your underwear - a thong that matched your bra, barely covering any of you. That settled it, you definitely changed into different lingerie just for him - and that knowledge made it even hotter. Like, you looked amazing regardless, but knowing that it was for him? On purpose? You purposefully dressed like that for him? Yeah, that made it ten times better.

“C’mere,” he murmured, leaning down to wrap his arms around you and rolling you both over so you were on top of him.

You ground down onto him as you kissed, his hands squeezing your ass as you arched your back, rubbing yourself along his length through his jeans. He grunted as your lips left his, instead scattering kisses down his neck and chest as you moved down his body. Soon you were kneeling on the bed between his legs, sucking small purple marks onto the pale skin just above the waistband of his boxers. He was so focused on that that he didn’t even notice you undoing his jeans, until you were pulling them and his boxers down, his hard cock springing free and falling heavily against his stomach.

Tom watched as you licked along his length, sucking him into your mouth when you reached the top. He groaned when you bobbed your head, your cheeks hollowing around him. Your fingers curled around the base of his cock, following behind your lips as they slid up and down his length. You swirled your tongue around the tip as you came off him for a moment to breathe, your hand continuing to move up and down smoothly. After a moment you dipped your head again, taking him back into your mouth a little at a time. Your mouth felt so good around him, so warm and wet, and Tom was just thinking that he’d quite like to reach between your legs and feel something else warm and wet except he couldn’t really reach just now, when it occurred to him that maybe he did have an answer for you.

“Hey…” he muttered, not sure how to begin.

“Hmm?”

Tom closed his eyes for a second, his jaw tensing when you hummed around him. “I thought of something.”

You lifted your head, your hand still moving as your mouth left his cock. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, um,” What’s the best way to say this? Just say it, I suppose. “I dunno, you could like… sit on my face.”

“Hm…” you tilted your head thoughtfully. “What, while I…”

You trailed off, nodding towards your hand around his dick.

“Yeah… if you want.”

You hummed again, your hand still pumping slowly while you mulled it over. After a moment though, you stopped and nodded, sitting back on your heels.

“Yeah, okay.”

You moved aside while Tom took his jeans off, but when he lay back down you stayed kneeling beside him on the bed. He said your name questioningly, looking at you uncertainly.

“...you okay?”

“Yeah,” you nodded, but didn’t move. “I dunno, it’s just like - it’s very exposing, isn’t it…”

He didn’t really know what to say to that - he’d gone down on you loads of times, so he didn’t really see what the difference was, but there obviously was a difference to you.

“Oh, well,” he sat up a bit, propping himself up on his elbows. “I mean you don’t have to-”

“No, it’s not that,” you cut him off, shaking your head. “It’s just… like I want to but…”

Tom stayed quiet, just watching you have this debate with yourself because it didn’t really seem like it actually had very much to do with him at all.

“D’you mind if I leave my pants on? Like, obviously you can move them to, you know, get at stuff, but like, I dunno-” you sighed, sounding exasperated with yourself. “I know that doesn’t really make sense, I just feel like it would make it easier for me to put my butt in your face.”

He couldn’t help but snort at that - not so much at the idea but just the way you phrased it. You laughed too, only a little more nervously.

“Yeah, ‘course,” he nodded, trying to make his expression more serious. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”

You nodded back, slowly at first but then more decisively.

“Yeah… yeah, okay. Sorry, I’m being weird.”

“Nah you’re fine, don’t worry.”

Tom sat up more, touching your cheek gently as he kissed you. Your lips moved tentatively with his at first, but it didn’t take long before you got back into it. Your fingers wound their way into his hair as he gripped your waist, your body shifting to climb back on top of him.

“Oh right, yeah,” you stopped suddenly, shaking your head with a chuckle. “Other way.”

Both of you laughed as you shuffled on the bed, turning around and swinging your leg over his chest. Tom held your hips as you moved back, until you were right in front of his face. He couldn’t see what you were doing, obviously, but he could feel your body over his as you leaned down, wrapping your hand around his length again. He had a brief moment of panic when he realised that when he pulled your thong aside everything was going to be upside down compared to what he was used to, but then he felt your mouth envelope his cock and he figured he’d just work it out as he went along.

Kneading your ass cheeks firmly as he spread them apart, Tom pressed a few teasing kisses to the wet patch in the centre of your underwear. Your body twitched slightly at the contact, but you didn’t stop what you were doing, so he assumed that meant he was good to continue. With one hand he pulled your thong to the side to expose your pussy, wet and spread open right in front of his face. He wrapped his arms around your body and pulled you that last bit closer, onto the flat of his tongue as he ran it through your folds. Your body still felt a bit tense, but you moaned around him when he traced circles around your clit with his tongue, so that was a good sign, right?

You both carried on like that for a little while, him eating you out while you sucked him off. Sometimes Tom found it kind of hard to concentrate on what he was doing because of what you were doing, but other times you stopped and his cock was just sort of sitting there in your hand while you moaned and pushed back onto his tongue, so he figured the same thing was happening to you so it was alright. Your thong kept trying to move back between your legs though, and he was trying his best to keep it out of the way with his face but eventually he had to pull one hand away from its very important task of squeezing your bum to move it properly.

Holding your underwear aside, he went back to massaging your clit with his tongue. Your mouth tightened around the tip of his cock as you whimpered before you lifted your head, your hand still working his length as you came off him with a wet pop. Tom grunted against your pussy as you started to grind against his face, his fingers digging into your bum as he guided your movements. He could feel the tension in your body building, your thighs tensing -- until your grip on his cock loosened, your hip movements faltered, and you pulled away from him.

“Ugh, sorry,” you groaned, climbing off him when he let his arms fall away from your body and onto the bed.

“What, what’s wrong?”

“I dunno,” you whined as you turned around, crawling back on top of him and straddling his hips. “I just feel like… like I can’t concentrate? I don’t know, I think I just prefer doing one at a time, there’s too much going on.”

“Okay,” Tom just nodded; there wasn’t really much else to say to that.

“Sorry…”

“No, don’t-” he switched quickly to shaking his head. “I know what you mean and like, if you’re not into it then what’s the point, you know?”

“Okay,” You nodded as he shrugged, but your expression remained uncertain. “Still… sorry.”

“Seriously, it’s fine - now we know.”

“Now we know,” you giggled as Tom reached for your hands where they rested on his chest, tugging on them to bring you close enough for him to kiss you.

His hands caressed your body as his tongue roamed your mouth, reaching around to undo your bra - or at least, that was his plan. When he got there, however, he felt way more clasps under his fingertips than he was expecting. He tried his best to keep kissing you as he worked his way through them, but after he’d undone three and it didn’t seem like it was any closer to coming off he had to stop, muttering a frustrated sorry against your cheek.

“Oh, right,” you pushed yourself up, reaching behind you to undo the last couple of clasps. “Yeah, it’s got like five things, sorry.”

All Tom could think was why though? Why make it so complicated? But he didn’t say that, instead he said:

“No worries. What about you?”

You were just leaning down over him again, presumably about to resume kissing him when he said it, and he instantly regretted it when you stopped and tilted your head in confusion.

“What?”

His only explanation was that your habit of starting full on conversations during sex must be rubbing off on him - why else would he interrupt you when you were on top of him with only soaked thong between you? Why didn’t he just let you carry on? It was too late now though, he’d just have to continue and hope it paid off.

“Is, uh, is there anything you wanna try?”

“Oh,” you straightened up again, sitting up straight in his lap. “Hmm.”

Tom watched you thinking, nibbling on your bottom lip contemplatively, and he was beginning to wish he’d just waited to ask you another time before you spoke.

“I’ve never done it standing up, that could be fun…”

Then he really wished he hadn’t said anything, because frankly he was way too tired for that, but you had tried his thing, so it only seemed fair that he try yours.

“Okay.”

“...okay?” you repeated, looking at him questioningly.

“Okay,” he nodded. “Wanna try?”

You seemed to consider for a moment, before shrugging with a casual ‘sure’. You crawled off him and you both got to your feet, your knickers soon finding a home on the bedroom floor.

“So like, how do we… do this?”

“Um, right,” Tom thought for a second, before placing his hands on your hips and guiding you so your back was against the wall, your arms instinctively looping around his neck. “And then I guess if you like,” - he moved one hand down to your thigh - “lift your leg?”

You did as instructed, his hand holding the back of your thigh firmly as you hitched your right leg up to his left hip.

“Erm…right...” he looked back and forth between your face and his dick, now sort of pressed between your abdomens, as you bit your lip to try and stifle the giggle that was threatening to burst out of your mouth.

Hmm.

Tom bent his knees slightly, using his free hand to try and position his cock at your entrance. You lifted up onto your tiptoes, using your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, and that did help a bit. He was able to push inside you, but beyond that he didn’t really know how to go about this. The way your bodies fit together meant that he couldn’t really thrust into you properly - he tried, but it just didn’t really work, and you were still on your tiptoes which didn’t seem sustainable, especially because you were standing on one leg and only staying upright because you were pinned between him and the wall.

“Um-”

“Hmm…”

“This isn’t working, is it?”

Looking between your bodies, your leg wrapped him and your breasts pressed to his chest, he really, really wanted to say it was working, but the truth was it just wasn’t. “Maybe if I lift you up?”

“Pardon?” you laughed, a bewildered expression on your face.

“Like,” Tom squeezed your thigh where it rested on his hip. “Do that but with your other leg.”

You just stared at him for a moment, blinking once, twice, three times before you spoke.

“No.”

“Why not?” He couldn’t help but laugh at your flat tone, the confused smile still frozen on your face.

“Because you’ll drop me.”

Tom opened his mouth to say no, he wouldn’t drop you, but in all honesty he couldn’t say that with 100% certainty. He wouldn’t mean to, obviously, but he was tired, and what if he did drop you? Surely that would be worse than… whatever this was.

“...fine,” he said instead, helping you bring your foot back to the ground before he stepped back, cock slipping out of you in the process.

“What if I bend over the bed?”

“... yeah, that could work.”

And lo, it did work. With you bent over the edge of the bed and him behind you, Tom gripped your hips as he thrust in and out of you steadily. Your hands grabbed fistfuls of the sheets, pushing back to meet his thrusts, and it wasn’t long before he could feel himself getting close, the tension inside him built up after so long spent with your mouth around him and your pussy in his face. His fingers trailed across your hip as he reached around to touch your clit, a grunt passing his lips as he felt your walls twitch and clench around him as you straightened up to give him better access.

“Fuck-”

You turned your head to kiss him, all breathless moans and probing tongues into each other's mouths. Your body twisted as you leaned into the kiss, making Tom’s cock slip out as he moved to thrust into you again.

“Fuck,” he groaned again, more out of frustration than pleasure this time. He went to reposition himself at your entrance, but stopped when you breathed his name.

“Hang on…d’you wanna just...do it normally?”

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he nodded.

“Yeah, okay, sure. Sorry.”

You straightened up and turned around properly, your arms wrapping around his neck. “S’okay-”

“I’m just tired and-”

“Seriously, it’s fine-”

“- I’m a bit hungover and-”

“Tom.”

The way you said his name finally made him shut up, assertive but still quiet, gentle.

“You’re fine, it’s fine. That last one was good, I’m just being awkward because I want to kiss you.”

“Oh.”

That was all he had time to say before you kissed him, as if to demonstrate your point - and honestly, you made a really solid argument. So much so that the two of you fell back onto the bed, barely breaking apart as you lay down and he pushed back inside you, your legs spread wide beneath him. Plus, it was nice to be lying down and back in his comfort zone, kissing your neck as he thrust into you, your fingers tugging at his hair, your legs wrapping tightly around his waist--

“Wait wait, stop-”

You both froze as someone came into the house, slamming the front door closed behind them.

For fuck’s sake are you fucking joking?!

Tom kept his face buried in your neck, but he could feel you holding your breath until you heard either Adam or Harrison (he was trying not to think too much about whoever it was) going straight up the stairs. He felt you exhale once an upstairs door banged shut, your hips bucking up as you sighed.

“Okay, carry on.”

He did as he was told and began to move again, thrusting into you. Your moans were quieter now, more restrained, which was a shame, but he’d take what he could get. You bit your lip as he shifted, his arms bracketing your head as he quickly built up speed until he was pounding into you. One hand still tangled in his hair, you slipped the other between your bodies to rub hurriedly at your clit.

“Oh fuck, please,” you whimpered, looking up at him slack jawed and glassy eyed.

“M’gonna - fuck - gonna come,” Tom grunted, feeling your walls clenching and squeezing his cock as he thrust into you as deeply as he possibly could.

Your fingers in his hair tightened, urging him to dip his head to kiss you. You moaned into his mouth as he obliged, your body jerking under his as you came. He kept thrusting into you as he came moments later, his own moans mixing with yours in a hurried, passionate kiss, your hips rutting together as you both rode out your highs. The kiss grew softer as the rhythm of your hips began to slow, until your tongues were lazily dancing together as you ground together slowly.

“Yeah,” you chuckled breathlessly when you finally pulled apart. “We should have just done that to begin with.”

Tom just laughed in reply, scattering kisses across your cheek and down your neck onto your shoulder as he caught his breath. His body was feeling very heavy now, every ounce of tiredness he’d felt earlier coming rushing back after that burst of energy and hormones, and suddenly all he wanted to do was sleep.

“...you’re kinda squishing me a bit, Tom.”

“Hmm?” he hummed, his face nuzzled against your cheek until he replayed your words in his head and understood what you were saying. “Oh! Sorry-”

You unwrapped your legs from around his waist so he could roll off you, before crawling out from underneath him and searching for your underwear on the floor. Tom watched from his spot on the bed as you rummaged through your bag, pulling out a clean pair of knickers and the pyjamas that he’d lent you over the weekend. He just nodded sleepily as you said something about going to the bathroom, taking his dressing gown off the back of the door and tying it around your body before you left the room.

He didn’t think he’d fallen asleep, but it only seemed like a moment later when the door swung open and you came back in, and surely you hadn’t been that quick?

“Someone in there,” you explained when he looked at you in surprise - so maybe he hadn’t fallen asleep, you actually had just come straight back.

Tom nodded again, but this time he sat up, blinking furiously in an attempt to get his eyes to stay open. He couldn’t exactly go to sleep right that second, he was too naked and sticky, so while you hovered by the door waiting for the bathroom to be free he set about cleaning himself up and finding some clean underwear. It was only another minute or two before you both heard the bathroom door open, footsteps going across the landing, and then another door closing.

“Right, be right back.”

By the time you came back for good, Tom had changed into a fresh pair of pyjamas, put something on the TV, and shook out his duvet, and was lying under it all warm and cosy and trying to stay awake at least until you got into bed too.

“Are you actually going to sleep?” you asked as you slipped in under the covers beside him.

“Not like, properly,” he mumbled, turning onto his side holding his arms out for you to wiggle into. “M’just, m’gonna nap… jus’ for a minute…”

He was sure you didn’t believe that - he didn’t believe it either - he’d probably wake up in three hours not knowing who he was or what day it was. He didn’t get to hear whether you had anything to say about it though, because he fell asleep almost immediately, his breathing turning deep and even in your ear in seconds.

⋘ FIFTEEN | SEVENTEEN ⋙

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#tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #tom holland fic #tom holland fanfic #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #tom holland headcanon #tom holland smut #tom holland fluff #tom holland uni au #tom holland series #student! tom holland

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loggedonlove · 4 years

Text

long ask post

so i just rbed this post with questions to ask about ones s/o or crush. i rly wanna answer them all but no one on my main cares and even if they did i wouldn’t wanna spam them. but the good thing abt this blog is only like 3 ppl follow me so i can shout my adoration as much as i want and it does not matter :D so i’m just gonna answer all the questions under the cut and if anyone sees this and wants to read it, though i doubt they will, they can! (i already answered two on my main so those’ll just be copy and pasted)

1. describe them in 3 words

cute, funny, sweet

2. their favorite style of clothing?

he looks like a walking hollister ad lmao like i see his style and i just think hollister/abercrombie/zumies. lots of striped tops, dark jeans, not hoodies but like long sleeved shirts with hoods that he doesn’t ever use, converse, and many dad hats that he wears backwards

3. what mannerisms do they have?

i can’t really think of any besides the fact that he shakes a lot. he’s really skinny and he shakes when he’s either cold or nervous, or just in general

4. do they play an instrument?

he doesn’t yet but he really wants a piano keyboard for christmas that’s like the only thing he wants so that he can learn how to play

5. how did you meet/become introduced to them?

(copied from my main) this is not a long story that may become long due to my unneeded context: we have 2 classes together this fall semester, but he sits behind me in both (directly behind me in one, a few rows back in the other) so i essentially had 0 idea he existed since i just go to class to learn & ignore the people around me unless i’m spoken to. genuinely the first time i ever noticed him was a month into classes, i accidentally grabbed the wrong paper & he was like “hey celeste, this one’s yours” & i was like “oh thank you” then went abt my business. but later that same class we had been in the computer lab & as we were packing up to leave he made a comment abt how my computer’s time was different than everyone else’s so i said some dumb shit like “haha yeah i broke it” then just immediately walked away because i had a class to get to (ironically the other class i shared with him). as i learned later he had been trying to start a conversation so as i was walking to my next class he caught up with me & just continued talking. all i remember was being like “wow this dude’s persistent.” i definitely came off as rude though bc the entire time he was talking to me i kept looking at my phone bc i was logging into our textbook. it was then i found out he was in that class too, & then it took me like another week to figure out his name because i didn’t remember it from the introductions during the first week. but it all worked out because we’re dating now 🤷🏻‍♀️

6. favorite thing they’ve ever said/texted/messaged?

honestly he says the sweetest things to me all the time it’s so hard to choose. i remember before we dated though he said i looked lovely and i was just like *heart eyes*

7. what do you like doing with them?

anything, legit anything. he could call me and be like “hey wanna come watch paint dry with me” and i would be like “hell yes.” i just enjoy spending time with him. but i also really like cuddling him, i could for hours on end he’s very comfortable

8. their favorite color?

i’m not sure, i know he’s said he likes orange, yellow, and black (maybe blue too?) and apparently he’s been told he looks extra good in pink because in his words, he looks good in every color. but yeah i’m not sure of his absolute favorite

9. do they keep up to date on pop culture?

i think it just depends on if it’s something he likes. i think he keeps up to date on a lot of music because he likes a lot of popular artists i don’t pay attention to, and he likes football or at least cares about keeping up with his favorite team

10. sweetest thing they’ve done for you?

this is gonna be another unnecessarily long story. this was before we started dating, it was a thursday so that meant we had our two classes, english then stats right after that, and when stats ends he has to go to his sociology class and i get picked up by my mom. we would typically talk during the time in between english and stats, and he was telling me that he was super sick and he was going to be skipping his sociology class and that he was only going to stats because of our test. we’re in college so teachers typically just do tests at the end of the class and if you finish before class is done you get to go early. so i took my time doing my test and finished with like 30 minutes to spare and when i went to go to the door i saw he was gone and i was like oh that makes sense, he’s ill and said he wanted to go home to sleep. so i walk out to the lobby to wait for my mom (a long wait since i got out early and had no way of letting her know that, plus she’s just always late) and i see him in one of the spots i usually sit in. i was surprised but assumed he had a reason to still be there so i just started talking to him about the test but after that i was like “soooo why are you still here, did you decide you were gonna go to your next class?” and he’s like “oh no i just wanted to wait with you.” like he was just feeling terrible and could’ve went home whenever he wanted (he said he would’ve driven me home but didn’t feel like he should with how ill he was) yet he decided to wait with me for like 30 minutes for my mom even though i said he didn’t have to it was so nice :(

11/12. have you dreamed about them/have they dreamed about you?

i’ve dreamed about him a few times but the thing w mine is that i dream about things/people i think about or see a lot, so the fact that he’s on my mind and i see him nearly every day plays a role. none of my dreams make sense so it’s never anything sweet, he’s just there. he has said he’s had at least one dream about me though, and his dreams are the opposite like he said he just always has romantic dreams that make sense and i was in one :3c

13. can they dance?

every time i hang out with him he dances. like every car ride he puts on music and dances to it while driving, he’ll dance in the middle of any public place, or even when we’re just eating/laying down. it’s usually either him just moving around or fortnite dances specifically to annoy me, but it’s cute

14. what does hugging them feel like?

sosososo nice and warm and safe

15. your favorite thing about them?

i like his personality a lot, he’s really funny and nice, i don’t think it’s possible for me not to smile when he’s talking or being himself

16. their favorite thing about you?

i don’t know, he would probably say my personality too

17. best memory of you together?

another i don’t know, i’ve only been talking to him for two months so that’s not a lot of time to have a favorite memory since there’s so few. probably just the first time we kissed, i think that’s what he would say

18. what are they like when they’re tired?

not much different honestly, but he says he’s always tired so that’s probably why. when he’s tired he just says he’s tired and acts no different. according to him i’m nicer when i’m tired

19/20. could you imagine growing old together with them? could they?

god i don’t know, i’m incapable of thinking that far ahead. we’re both people who, when we date, aim for long-term so i don’t want to be like “we’ll probably only date for a year” because if i think like that it’s destined to fail but i also don’t want to be like “we’re gonna be together forever” because we’ve only known each other for two months. i prefer to just take it as it comes and not try to look forward to anything specific. we’re together for however long we’re together, i have no way of knowing that duration. it could be until next month, it could be until my death, we’ll see. i imagine he’d say the same thing

21. what would an ideal date with them be?

like i said, he could ask me to watch paint dry with him and i’d do it. any time with him is an ideal date. i like going out and doing things but i would probably lean more towards “let’s cuddle and nap for like 5 hours”

22. are they competitive?

yes, especially when someone is a sore loser. like he beat me in bowling twice yesterday and even though i was cool with it he was like “i’m still gonna brag.” but i’m competitive too so it’s a good match

23. what do you do together?

anything. mostly just talk, cuddle, watch stuff, play video games, do homework together, and if there’s something to go out and do then we’ll do it

24. which smells remind you of them?

(copied from my main) his favorite smell is this yankee candle called festival of lights and he always has it burning when i come over so definitely that

25. do they remind you of any music?

just the music he likes, i don’t associate any of my music with him. he plays his music a lot so whenever i think of artists like lil peep or scotty sire i just think of him, plus the dozens of other people he’s made me listen to (not that i mind)

26/27. could you tell them your biggest secret? could they tell you theirs?

i probably will soon, obv not gonna say what to the entire internet but it’s an important thing. he’s told me his most embarrassing thing about himself which i didn’t think was too bad, i don’t know if he counts that as his biggest secret or not

28. how do you greet each other?

depends on where. whenever he picks me up i say hi/hey, if i walk into class i just smile at him because it feels weird to start having a conversation in a dead quiet class where no one knows we’re dating. i never kiss or hug him as a greeting but i do as a goodbye, not sure why

29/30. what makes you blush that they do? what makes them blush that you do?

he’s only made me blush once but i can’t remember what he said that made me do it, i only blush when i’m embarrassed. i don’t think i’ve ever made him blush, not that i know of

31/32. would you say you love them? would they say they love you?

way too soon for that BUT the other day he accidentally said it when saying goodbye as a force of habit because he always says “bye love you” to his friends/family. i didn’t notice because he said it super quickly before he realized but then he told me about it a few days later. i could picture myself loving him one day though. right now i’d say i adore him

thank you to anyone who read this and got this far if you did. this was really fun i just love talking about himmmm even if no one sees it, it’s just nice to gush uwu

#💌#lovecore

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franeridart · 7 years

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I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best "Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!" or "BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME"?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

Anon said:there's a terushima week. thought i might tell you bc i miss you drawing him ;3; might wanna join? :3

Anon said:Terushima week is this next week! (@terushimaweek) Might we maaaybe see some cute lil bokuroterus sometime soon? ;)

As I’ve already said, sadly I’ve found out about this too late to be part of it - I’m not completely ruling out the possibility of doodling something one of the days, but I didn’t have the time to plan anything and I’m still in the middle of working things through with the bakushima week and bakugou’s birthday so I don’t know - they 19th is Teru’s birthday so maybe I’ll draw something for it, but it’s also a super busy day for me so it really depends on how soon I’ll be able to finish everything else I’m working on orz I’m sorry guys I seriously had no clue about this till, like, five days ago o

Anon said: What are your thoughts on KiriDeku b/c I'm not even that into it but as soon as I saw art I was like "OMFG I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING SO PURE CHOULD EVER EXIST!!!" My following thought was that'd you may have something interesting to say (as you always do, I luv it), so here I am 😁 Also, I love the blog, your amazing art, and you!! I truly appreciate all you do ❤️❤️

Awwww thank you!!! And I dunno, as things are now my opinion on a possible ship might change soon enough because it looks like their interactions amount is about to skyrocket, so anything I say right now is just a temporary answer? But generally I find their friendship incredibly adorable, though as of now I don’t think I can see anything romantic between the two... mostly because even though I’ve seen them being friendly and supportive of each other I don’t think I’ve ever seen them actually connect over anything that wasn’t Bakugou?? Being friendly and supportive is just how they both are with everyone, before I can say I ship them I’m gonna need something more singular to their relationship

I might be totally biased here considering where my main shipping lies, though haha

Anon said:HOSHIHINA!!!! YESSSSS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I think this is like.... my new OTP or well... a new OTP that I will gratefully put on the shelf next to all my other children in love!! oh yeah and THANK YOU for introducing me to both BNHA and d grey man! I'M IN LOVE!!! oH and YOUR ART IS AMAZING!!! KEEP IT UP!! I WILL GRATEFULLY SWALLOW UP ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU POST IT'S AMAZING!!! YOUR OC'S TOO!!! Have a nice day!!

So much!!! HYPE in this ask!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for EVERYTHING anon I hope you’ll have the best day!!!!!! *O* And I’m SUPER GLAD you gave dgm and bnha a try!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Aww the kiss. I know you posted it the other day, but it wouldn't load on my tablet. They're so cute, those two. 💜✌

*lays down forever* they are aren’t they those pure idiots !!!!

Anon said:I'm laughing so hard. Literally everyone that read the new chapter was like expectation vs reality. I love my idiots. Also yas to HoshiHina

HoshiHina is an A+ ship with A+ potential and I think I’m being slowly but surely swallowed by it - then again, what Hinata ship don’t I ship even ??? the mysteries

Anon said:To answer you question on what cheese sticks are, they're this disgusting processed cheese stick, also known as string cheese, and it's p much what it is, cheese in the form of a small stick that you can pull apart into strings and eat like that! (as you may have noticed, I'm not a fan hah) ((I don't know if you know the artist mookie, but she made a comic about bokuto eating a cheesestick whole before)

Anon said: cheese sticks = string cheese? D: they are delicious i promise

I’m seeing conflicting reports here (lol) but yes this might be a problem for me only because as I said I’m Italian but what I’m failing to see here is what kind of cheese are these things supposed to be ???

Anon said:Are you into Kuroken?

Only as very good friends, I don’t ship it romantically at all

Anon said:I love your bakushimas, SO SO SO MUCH. God, and with the latest chapter, I just can't wait for more interactions with them. God, seeing as I think Kirishima was filmed by the people that were there, I want to see Bakugou's reaction to his new move.

This took me long enough to answer that we now know Baku’s reaction was total and utter envy at how popular Kiri is LMAO - but yeah I still think Baku already knew about Kiri’s new move! After all he most probably came up with it as they trained for the license exam and I can’t believe he wouldn’t test it against Bakugou to make sure he actually turns unbreakable? Also proud-of-himself Kiri yelling at the squad to check out his new move is too much of a good image I can’t let that one go hahaha

Anon said:I started following you for Haikyuu but started boku no hero academia in order to understand what your other drawings were so I thank you (and blame you) for getting me hooked on another anime and manga :)

I’m!!!!!! HAPPY you ended up liking it???!!!! *O*

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that you're my most fave artist here in tumblr istg i go to your page everyday just to go back at the fanart you drew if you didn't have any new, but when u have, my heart just swells and i fuss over it. God bless you because you opened my eyes for bakushimanari when i was just kiribaku back then.. God i love denki sfm right now bc of you, im sad bkk week is over though ahh and laven. Jfc i love your laven pls draw them more if u can 😘 i hope you'll have a great day!!

Don’t!!!! worry anon Laven has been my #1 otp since I was sixteen at this point it’s just not gonna leave me ever, I’ll definitely draw more of it in the future! And thank you??? so much?????? Oh man!!!!!

Anon said:Everyone in class 1-A: *trains as if they're gonna be in a battle royal and need to (literally) slaughter the competition* Competition: OBSTACLE RACE YAY

Well, the anime did change the training scenes a lot lol but LMAO anon they’re highschoolers what were you expecting hahahahaha it’s already savage enough as it is, I assure you lol

Anon said:Hi hello yes are you up for some angsty stuff because my brain turns even the sweetest moment to that, like what if kaminari saw bakushima's first kiss and he becomes so sad b/c he crushes on them both but he pretends not to and starts teasing 'em like a true bro while hiding his feelings and idk it's only if you want but yeah, how's your day been?

..........I would lie if I said I didn’t think about this while drawing that kiss R I P my multishipper heart is gonna kill me BUT IT’S OKAY I’m not one for unhappy endings so consider this - Denki sees them kiss, since he’s best bro and both Kirishima and Bakugou tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves he already knew this was gonna happen so he’s like, sad but resigned it hurts and he wishes he didn’t have to see it but he loves them both so much that he can’t help but being happy for how happy they are at the same time too (sure, being part of that happiness would be a dream coming true, but he’s used to never coming first he can deal with this hahahahaha r i p)

Meanwhile a bit after the kiss once Kiri is a hundred per cent sure Bakugou isn’t going to explode his head off if he mentions his very huge crush on Kaminari he does and Bakugou’s like, shit, it’s not like he’d mind it because Kaminari is, well, he’s Kaminari and Bakugou isn’t sure why but he’s comfortable to be around and easy to talk to and he’s stupidly pretty and like, yeah, okay, he might be into him too, maybe, he isn’t admitting anything here (not like he needs to, as stated already he’s pretty easy to read), but Kaminari’s also the no homo type of het so it’s not like they can do much about this threeway crush or whatever, and Kirishima’s like sure, I know, I just wanted to be open about this to avoid trouble, which is very sensible and will cut us on a lot of miscommunication angst this is getting out of hand let’s skip ahead I always forget how much fun I have writing this kind of bullshit

For however much Kaminari swore he could deal with it and how much he’s actually managing to deal with it he’s also the same brand of open book Baku and Kiri are and while it was easy to act like friends with no romantic feelings when everyone was doing the same, trying to hide from Bakugou and Kirishima while they’re openly in a relationship turns out to be more or less impossible, mostly because he can’t seem to avoid the longing stares and sad smiles and the I have to go I just remembered I have a thing to do bye’s when it becomes too much, and Kirishima might not be the brightest but he’s perfectly in tune with everyone’s feelings and Bakugou might stomp on people’s feelings more often than not but he is the brightest which means they notice and they’re like god fucking damn it - Bakugou in nature isn’t one to talk about problems until they burst out in fits of anger, but thank god he’s got Kirishima right there and they might not be 100% sure they got the reason for Kaminari’s weirdness right but they’re exasperated and they at least want their friend to stop being weird and avoiding them, they miss him (and Kaminari seriously misses them too he feels so stupid for how big of a deal he’s turning this into) SO they corner him and talk it out cause I’m a slut for open and honest communication and Kaminari straight out starts crying from happiness and relief before they’re even done talking and Kirishima starts crying right after him because sympathetic crier supreme and Bakugou’s like you know what I changed my mind fuck both of you emotional disasters I’m out

(spoiler he isn’t really)

#fran answers #SO MANY WORDS IN THIS ONE R I P #i got carried away on that last one s o r r y #instead of working on the fills gdi fran stop procrastinating #anonymous

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5hfanfiction · 7 years

Text

our broken white rose (4/?) ⇾ camren

a/n: hey guys, i’m really sorry for not updating as quickly. idk if y'all wanna know about my life story but since some of you guys messaged me today and two days ago, heres whats been going on. i briefly explained to those of you who asked but in case you’re interested in knowing more, keep reading this lil authors note or just skip ahead to the story if you genuinely don’t give a fuck. lmao.

for a few months now, my fiancée and i have been trying to get pregnant. by her and i, i mean her, lol. she’s a bit older than me (over 21) but i’m 20. anyways, we’ve been pushing really hard for a baby because something we’ve been talking about since the early stages of our relationship is starting a family and having kids. but you know, clearly as two females, we can’t reproduce together. so recently we’ve been doing lots of research and looking for a sperm donor from a sperm bank.

she’ll be the one carrying because i am not of age and quite frankly me and pain do not mix therefore child birth and i do not like each other, lmao. but since she’ll be the one carrying, shes been really adamant on finding a donor who looks like me. i don’t really care to be honest, just the thought of someone i love bringing in beautiful new life to be apart of our own warms my heart but you know, she really cares about that. now my fiancée is biracial and i am brazilian.

honestly speaking from what we’ve seen, the closest donor we’ve seen that looks like me is a white man. and theres nothing wrong with that. i mean, its really hard to come across a brazilian man who’s willing to give his sperm away to help make babies who’d have my features. pale ass skin, blue ass eyes and dark ass hair. and honestly we’ve been fighting a lot because of that one thing. all i care about is finally getting to start my family with the woman of my fucking dreams and thats basically being put on hiatus because she wants someone who looks like me and exactly me. and i can get why she really wants that and all, but eh… whatever.

i just thought i’d share my reason for not writing. shes having several exams and back to back doctors appointments, all which i attend, then on top of that looking for donors that she approves of, getting school work done because i’m still a student but she’s not. baby girl is on her way to being a teacher but thats basically all. i’ve literally only had time to read on my phone because i’d be too exhausted to pick up my laptop and start writing.

i really hope things speed up soon because this process is already proving to be extremely tiring but as long as i get to create a family with her and live out our forever lives, i’m all in it. pun intended.

***

“We are live here on Express News Daily with former fifth harmony member, singer, dancer and model, Normani Kordei,” Dianna McGee introduced as the audience roared in a fit of cheers. Dianna faced the dark haired girl with a wide grin. “We’ve been trying for ages to get you here on this show. It’s truly an honor.”

Smiling bashfully, Normani shook her head. “No, it’s my pleasure. When my team told me I’d be coming on here today just a few weeks ago, I nearly lost my shit. Excuse my language,” she laughed.

Dianna threw her head back and let out an obnoxiously loud but contagious laugh. “So tell us where you’ve been lately Normani. I’m sure fans are curious to know what’s to come soon.”

Getting giddy, an adorable smile took over Normani’s face as she edged further off her seat. “Well, I’m working on a new album with my literal idol, Beyoncé,” she shared. The audience erupted in cheers and claps as everyone congratulated her. “I have to pinch myself every morning to make sure it’s not some big crazy dream I’ll just wake up from. I’ve looked up to her since way before I came into the industry and to know that I’ll be working on a whole album with her is just… insane. I’m at a loss for words.”

Her cheeks were slightly hurting from how hard she was smiling, but she couldn’t help it. She was so excited to finally share the news with the public. As the interview went on, Dianna somehow brought the topic of gay rights into the mix questioning Normani’s thoughts on it and bringing up former bandmate, Lauren Jauregui.

“So Normani, it’s been pretty evident that you’re extremely active in the LGBT community,” she started, Normani nodding along as the audience clapped. “A while back while you were in the hit girl group - Fifth Harmony - you had one of your band members come out as bisexual then a few years later announce that she’d finally found herself and was simply hiding behind that label to feel less odd toward society, eventually coming on out and saying she was a lesbian.”

Normani nodded, swallowing harshly at the mention of Lauren. Someone she hasn’t spoken to in quite awhile but still found it in her to smile nonetheless. “Yes, Lauren. I think she was really the one to like, you know wake us all up about gay rights and LGBT rights as a whole while in Fifth Harmony. I always grew up knowing that it was nobody’s place but God’s to judge and I always stuck by that. If you love a woman and you’re a woman, that’s amazing. God made you who you are for a reason, you know? If you were a man who loves another man, that’s amazing too. If you were born male but really are female, phenomenal,” Dianna gave Normani her full attention along with the audience as everyone stopped and listened.

“I think it’s not so much as being who you are but embracing it. There are so many people who have a hard time embracing who they are, Lauren having being one of them. We found out as a group of her interest in females the same time the public did and while it wasn’t all that much of a shock,” the audience laughed. “I guess it kind of was actually. There’s always that first initial shock to something you feel that you’ve always known but never knew that’d you’d be spot on. You know what I mean?” Pausing, Normani sighed. “We still knew that she needed our full on support and that’s exactly what most of us gave her right off the bat.

“As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started to stand more and more firmly by my belief of gay people are born into and belong to every society in the world. They’re literally all ages, races, faiths, etc. They’re doctors, teachers, farmers and bankers, soldiers and athletes. They’re everywhere. And whether we know it, or whether we acknowledge it, they are our family, friends and neighbors. As much as people choose not to believe it, being gay isn’t some sort of western invention. It’s a human reality.

"I like to believe that our journey isn’t complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law - because if we are truly equal, then we as a nation, as a society, as people, should understand that the love we commit to one another must be equal.

"And I’m sorry for the mouthful here but you guys, it literally takes no compromise to give people their rights… it takes no money to respect the individual. It takes no political deal to give people freedom. It takes no survey to remove repression. I think the best day in society will be when we no longer talk about being gay or straight. It’s not a gay wedding, it’s just a fucking wedding. It’s not a gay marriage, it’s a fucking marriage. Period.

"What people choose to do in their own homes is their business. And they can choose to love whoever they love. That’s their business, don’t make it your own. They aren’t personally affecting your everyday life, so why must you affect their own? What? Someone being different is too much of a threat to you? It’s really like… wow,” she let out a humorless chuckle.

“I mean, if anybody can find someone to love them and to help them through this difficult thing we call life, then I support that in any shape or form and so should you. There are people who’ve said that I’m being brave for being openly supportive of gay marriage, gay adoption, gay rights and LGBT rights as a whole… but with all due respect, I humbly dissent. I’m not being brave. I’m being a decent fucking human being. Love is a human experience, not a political statement and it’s sad so many individuals still don’t get that. At the end of the day, gay rights are human rights. There is no separation.”

Normani took a deep breath as everyone stayed silent for a moment before everyone in the audience stood to their feet, clapping and cheering, Dianna joining. She smiled. Before Dianna could speak she said one last thing, “And I’m glad to be someone apart of something as beautiful as the LGBT community. As my old closest friend once said, she was a bisexual Cuban-American and she was so damn proud of it. Well world, I’m a lesbian African-American and I am so fucking proud of it.”

***

“I did it,” she breathed as she wrapped her arms around the tall blonde. “I can’t believe I actually fucking did it.”

Dinah smiled down at her girlfriend, bringing their lips together in a soft kiss. “I’m really proud of you baby girl…” she trailed off.

Normani backed away with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

Dinah sighed, running a hand through her messy blonde waves. “I think Mila is in trouble… and I need your help finding Ally and Lauren.”

***

“Jauregui, you got some visitors!” Janelle yelled from outside the studio door. I frowned as I stood from my seat.

Walking out towards the main opening doors, I looked around but saw no one. Turning towards Janelle, I held my arms out in confusion. “Where?”

Pointing behind me, she raised both eyebrows. When I turned around, my heart sunk to my feet. What the hell? As I faced the three ladies before me that I haven’t seen in almost four years, a deep frown set itself on my lips.

“Hey Lauren…”

I stood in silence. Shaking my head and blinking a few times, I looked back up expecting to see a different set of people, thinking my eyes were simply fucking with me. When I came face to face with the same three faces, I felt the panic set in.

“What are you guys doing here?” I asked in shock as my heartbeat sped up.

My former closest friend from the three stepped up, her dark eyes giving me a look of uncertainty as she glanced behind me towards Janelle and everyone else who happened to be around. “We have to talk to you privately,” she spoke lowly, reaching for my hand which I instantly moved away.

I shook my head as a disbelieving laugh fell from my lips, “What happened to "Lauren I think it’s best if we all stay away from you and the girls” huh?“ I found my voice raising and could feel the eyes of my co-workers on us.

"Lauren, please can we just talk to you where there isn’t so many people,” the shortest of the three pleaded. My eyes instantly softened when they met her own. She was probably the only one I could never go off on. She looked around before motioning for me to bend down. Furrowing my eyebrows in confusion, I bent down slightly. “It’s about Camila…” she whispered.

***

I shook my head, refusing to believe what I was reading. Fuck no. “Someone is fucking with us and I know exactly who it is,” I mumbled out as tears clouded my vision. How could Tori do such a thing?

Dinah looked at me with wide eyes. “Lauren nobody is messing with us. It’s Mila. She’s alive.”

I glared at her. “No the fuck she isn’t! I just worked with a client from Yakutat, Alaska. She was so fucking adamant about learning everything there is to my personal life. I told her all about the group, the girls and Camila’s death. She’s probably just a crazy old fan trying to fuck with my emotions.”

The room fell quiet before Ally spoke quietly. “Okay if that were true though, why would she contact Dinah? How would she even find Dinah’s number? Wouldn’t she just contact you?”

“Don’t you guys get it? Everyone has been fucking with us since she died. Remember when harmonizers use to send us random fucking letters to our P.O. BOX claiming to be Camila and saying she was in danger. They found her remains you guys… she’s dead. Okay? It’s impossible for a dead person to magically be alive.” I hated this. I hated feeling this way. Why would someone go out of their way to make me relieve my worst nightmare?

Normani spoke, “Lauren I get your hesitation but she gave us an address and everything. How would the fans know about Lola? They only know that she abused Camila and thinks that she got locked up years ago. Remember, her team covered up her death by saying she was in a plane crash.”

“Plus she called me Cheech,” Dinah added.

I shook my head. I wasn’t buying any of this. Why are they so quick to believe everything? Clearly nothing’s changed. “You guys should just go back to wherever you came from. Everyone knew you and Camila called each other Chancho and CheeChee. That’s a known Fifth Harmony fact and anyone who knew of our group would know that. And look at the big ass coincidence that she happens to be in Yakutat, Alaska. Same place that girl I just worked with is from. The city barely has 700 people so you can’t say it’s common. Within those 700 random individuals, are you seriously trying to convince me that Camila is somehow apart of that? Bullshit. I’m telling you, she’s just fucking with us. If Camila was alive, I would know,” I paused shaking my head as I thought back to Tori’s best friend, ‘Karla.’ “God, I’m so fucking stupid. She even made up a fake best friend named Karla.”

Everyone paused as they glanced at me. “The person you met said they had a best friend named Karla?” Ally asked. I nodded slowly, raising an eyebrow at her. Ally, Normani and Dinah all shared a look before Ally walked over to me, her tiny arms wrapping around me. “I know you don’t want to get your hopes up by thinking that Camila just may be out there, in danger, needing our help,” she paused as she sighed. “But, I don’t think whoever that person was played you. Maybe… she knows Camila but doesn’t know that it’s your Camila?”

I scoffed. “I don’t know who’s supplying you guys your drugs, but you may wanna find someone else because you’re all fucking losing it. Camila. Is. Dead. And Tori Kelly is a pathological liar.”

***

After sending my former bandmates on their way, I pulled my phone out as the tears flooded my vision once again. This is why I don’t let people in.

Lauren - 12:42 PM: Are you happy? Proud of yourself? Does it make you feel better? Sleep at night peacefully?

Lauren - 12:43 PM: You know, I’m really not sure what’s more fucked up. The fact that I actually saw you as a possible friend or the fact that you were here for almost two weeks and pretended to not know that my dead wife was Camila Jauregui or mostly known as Camila Cabello.

Lauren - 12:43 PM: You’re a fucked up person. How the fuck do you do shit like that? Do you enjoy causing people pain?

Lauren - 12:44 PM: No wonder you wanted to get close to me. You’re fucking crazy. Just stay out of my life and stop giving my old bandmates hope that Camila may still be alive because she’s not, okay? You know that. I’m sure you’ve had your fun to toy around and fuck with peoples emotions but just fuck off now.

I went to hit the block button when my phone started to buzz, Tori’s name coming up on display. Hitting on ignore, I proceeded to attempt to block again but it started buzzing once again.

Letting out a huff of annoyance, I answered, holding the phone up to my ear. “What the fuck do you want? You already had your fun right? Fuck. Off.”

“Lauren, what are you talking about?” I laughed at her attempt to play dumb.

“Just give it up Tori! You had your fun. You got to me. You somehow got to my former bandmates as well, so please just–”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Lauren, I swear to God. You just randomly started blowing up my phone completely going batshit crazy on me. I haven’t done anything to you.”

I paused at the genuine confusion I heard in her voice before shaking my head. She wanted me to believe she knew nothing. She’s messing with me again. “Just stay out of my life.”

With that, I hung up.

***

Tori stared down at her phone. She was frozen. She didn’t know what to say and or do. She sat in her office chair for a few seconds, her brain not being able to process what had just happened in such a short time span. Snapping out of it, she immediately headed for messages on her phone.

Tori - 11:57 AM - i really don’t know what i did. can you please just explain and i’ll leave you alone, i swear. if you don’t wanna be friends anymore just let me know and i’ll go.

Staring down at her phone, she bit her bottom lip nervously. She could feel the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.

Lauren - 11:59 AM: I’m blocking you.

Tori - 11:59 AM: wait no please

Tori - 11:59 AM: please tell me what’s happening

Tori - 12:00 PM: please

The three dots in the bubble that indicated Lauren was typing came and disappeared several times. Tori grew nervous as each minute passed by.

Lauren - 12:23 PM: You are really into this playing dumb shit, huh? In case you’ve forgotten your own actions, you not only fucked with me the entire time you were in California, but you had the fucking nerve to stalk on some Great Dane shit and find my former bandmates phone number telling her Camila was still alive. If you were a fucking fan of Fifth Harmony, you could have said something. For nearly two weeks, you pretended to befriend me, pretended that you knew nothing about my late wife. Did you know that all of my former bandmates that I haven’t seen in almost four years all flew out to Los Angeles because they were convinced there was a chance of Camila being alive. But we both know there’s not.

Lauren - 12:25 PM: Oh wow and you made up a best friend named Karla who coincidentally has the same first name as Camila, huh? Then you text Dinah on some unknown number telling her that you’re in Yakutat, Alaska in “danger” with Lola. You’re a fucking joke.

Lauren - 12:28 PM: I have only one question for you Victoria. Why? Why would you purposely make someone relieve the pain of someone who died? What if I played some fucked up prank on you telling you that your dad was still alive? Honestly just go to hell.

As Tori read the messages over and over, she tried to make sense of what was going on. Lauren’s words hurt her more than she wanted to admit. Her heart was slowly breaking as the harsh words sunk deeper and deeper. Thumbs trembling, she began typing, hoping and praying that she wasn’t blocked yet.

Tori - 12:37 PM: i’m very sorry for whatever’s currently happening lauren but i did not message your old bandmates and lead them to think your wife was still alive. i didn’t even know the name of the band you use to be in until these last messages. you never even told me your wife’s name

Tori - 12:39 PM: i can’t blame you for your suspicions. you’ve met the first person ever from yakutat, alaska and now someone is telling you that your dead wife is in danger there to my understanding of what you’ve said. but i didn’t make anything up. i really like you and i don’t want you to think that i’m messing with you because i swear and cross my heart, hope to die that i am not

Tori - 12:40 PM: karla is a real person. my best friend. i didn’t make her up. i wasn’t a fan of fifth harmony. i really didn’t even know what that was until again, you mentioned it. all you ever told me was that you were in a band with four other chicks and you spilt up in late 2016 and married one of them

Tori - 12:42: i’m really sorry for the misunderstanding and i get if you don’t wanna talk to me anymore. i’m sorry. i won’t bother you anymore

After sending her messages, she waited for a reply. An hour to be exact but it never came. Within the last hour of her awaiting Lauren’s reply, she read the messages over and over, crying softly to herself. She hated feeling like she was hurting someone. Her first time out of the state and she’s already made enemies with someone she really liked as a person.

Putting her phone down on her desk, she decided to call it a day. Packing up her belongings, she made her way over to her boss’s office and knocked on the glass door. She could already tell the light makeup she wore was smeared from her crying but she couldn’t find it in her to care. She just wanted to go home. Dustin Harrison, the on floor boss for the day at Tori’s workplace shut his laptop and smiled up at the curly headed blonde before frowning. “Hey Tor– what’s wrong?” He asked, cutting off his greeting.

Tori sighed to herself, shaking her head. “Nothing Dus. Can I please take the rest of the day off? I’m not feeling too well,” she mumbled.

Dustin nodded immediately, pulling out a slip of paper, signing it and handing it to Tori. “No problem darlin’. Just come in when you’re feeling better, okay?”

Times like these were when she was really thankful for the understanding staff at her workplace. Maybe she could visit Karla later and rant. That is if Lola’s head ass lets her.

***

“Tori, what’s the matter? You haven’t touched your food at all,” Laura asked with a sigh. She had dropped her fork onto her plate and set her glass of wine down as she gazed at her daughter who had been aimlessly staring off into space the last fifteen minutes.

Tori glanced at her mom before resuming her stare into space. “Nothing Ma, just not hungry.”

Tori could barely find any form of energy to engage in small talk with her mother since she got home from work a few hours ago. Lauren had still not replied only this time, read her message. She was pretty sure she was blocked by now. She just lost a friend over something she didn’t even do and to say it was affecting her would be an understatement.

Laura shook her head. “Now Victoria, is lying to me really a good idea?”

Sighing, she looked down as the first tear fell. “I messed up Ma,” she breathed out.

Laura gave her daughter a look of confusion. “How?”

She took a deep breath. “Do you remember when I went to Los Angeles to record that demo for Karla’s birthday?” She started. Laura nodded. “Well, I met this girl there. Her name is Lauren. Everything I ever recorded there, she helped me on. We became friends over the time I was there and we started to talk everyday. So much so that she got really worried when I didn’t text her back after I landed for a few hours because I forgot.

"When I was there, she told me some things about her. Like how she use to be in a group called Fifth Harmony with four other girls. In Fifth Harmony, she dated and ended up marrying and having two kids with one of the members after the group break up in 2016,” she paused, her heartbeat picking up its pace. “She also told me that in 2019, her wife died and she was left to raise a two and a one year old at the time on her own.

"Everything has really been a blur, but long story short, when I came back everything was good up until today. She texted me and she was pissed. She started accusing me of messing with her bandmates and her–”

“What? How?” Laura interrupted. Tori gave her mom a look and the raven haired woman put her hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay. Sorry, continue.”

“Anyways like I was saying, she was accusing me of messing with her and her bandmates. Apparently someone texted one of her old bandmates telling them that Camila - her supposedly dead wife - was alive and in danger. This person posing as Camila apparently. She thinks it’s me now because the person said that she was in danger, here, in Yakutat, Alaska and she just met me and I’m from Yakutat, Alaska. She thinks I’m just some weird old fan who got close to her just to prank her like this.

"She said that’s why I was all up in her business. But Ma, I swear I didn’t do anything like that. I didn’t even know of Fifth Harmony until she started going off on me and I didn’t even know what her wife’s name was either up until she texted me those things. How could I just up and do something so elaborate when I just met her a week and a half ago? She barely told me anything about her personal life except for those things.

"Then she told me I faked having a best friend named Karla because her wife - Camila’s - first name is Karla. She just blamed everything on me, told me she was blocking me and to never talk to her again. I explained that it was a misunderstanding and that I haven’t done anything but she never replied and I don’t know what to do Ma. I really like her and she wants nothing to do with me. She probably thinks I’m some crazy bitch.”

When Tori finished, she wiped away the few tears of frustration that had fallen during her explanation. Laura stood up and extended her hand out to her daughter. Tori looked up at her mom in confusion. “What are you doing mom?”

“C'mon, lets go look up Fifth Harmony and see why this girl is so adamant about you messing with her.”

***

“I never met that girl, but by those messages, I doubt she did this Lauren,” Ally spoke as she took the glass of wine I had poured for her into her small hands.

Its been a few hours since my former bandmates decided to involve themselves into my life for the first time in years with their crazy assumptions that Camila may still be alive. I don’t care what they say, Camila’s dead. I saw her body parts. I saw the DNA results from the autopsy. I saw it all. She’s dead. And the sooner we all come to terms with that, the sooner they can move along and continue ignoring my daughters and I’d very existence.

I thought I had sent them on their way and they’d book a flight to return to where they needed to be, but they somehow found where I lived and invited themselves over. I just wanted them to leave before the new sitter arrived with the girls. After what happened with Lucy, I didn’t trust her around them for awhile.

Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair. “You guys, please. I cannot stress this enough. I’m tired of this. Camila’s gone. Alright? She’s dead. Please just drop this all. Tori is just a delusional former fan pulling a cruel prank.”

Dinah stood up from her place on my barstool, pacing back and forth. Suddenly stopping, the Polynesian stared at all of us with watery eyes. This was obviously affecting her way more than necessary. Dinah didn’t need to get her hopes up. If Camila was alive, I’m sure I would know. This was not the time to open up a can of emotions. Because once it opened, I wouldn’t be able to care for my daughters. Camila would have wanted me to stay strong for them and not fall into traps set up by sick people.

“What if it’s not a prank? Huh, Jauregui? What if your wife, the love of your life, the mother of your children is truly alive? What if you’re just so blinded by this wall of self protection you have up that you can’t even see that every minute we waste, Camila may be getting hurt and actually killed by the crazy bitch?!

"I know you don’t want to believe something just to get let down. I know that happened so many times after her death and we all believed it time and time again. But I don’t think someone would randomly just up and do this so many years later. Lauren, please. Camila could-”

I suddenly found myself shouting at the top of my lungs as tears filled my eyes. “Enough Dinah!” My hands shook as Ally and Normani stopped what they were doing to stare at me as Dinah shrunk back slowly. This is what I didn’t want. This is what makes me weak. I can’t be weak for my daughters. I can’t be weak for myself. I just couldn’t. “Camila is gone. Alright? She’s gone. Shes not coming back, she’ll never come back. You wanna know why? Because she’s dead. Dead people don’t make a r-reappearance,” my voice cracked as realization hit me for the first time in years. My wife is dead. I’d never get her back. The familiar aching that I haven’t felt in so long soon returned to the center of my chest as the room started to close in around me. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

Normani was the first to get up and come to my side, followed by Dinah and Ally. “Okay Lo. Okay. We’ll stop, just breathe, alright? Please calm down.”

Moments after catching my breath, I shoved the three women off of me. My knees felt weak, my head throbbing with an upcoming migraine. “Let this go and leave. Luna and Lana won’t be reintroduced to you just for you guys to walk away again. Go back to wherever you came from,” I spat out, my green eyes glaring holes into each of them.

The three of them shared looks of defeat before gathering their things and heading towards the door. Just as Dinah went to open it, Ally turned around and walked back over to me. She wrapped her tiny arms around me, not caring if I didn’t hug back as she whispered in my ear. “I know it’s scary to think of the possibilities, but don’t completely rule them out. Because I believe there is a God. And the God that I worship isn’t so cruel as in to let us all be toyed with like this after so many years. I believe that Mila is alive. And we’re going to find her, with or without your help,” pulling away she looked at me with tear filled eyes. “Even if this is all one big prank, even if this is all one big joke to someone, trying never hurt. Because without effort, there’d be no faith. And with no faith, then what are we as human beings?”

I felt my mouth hang open slightly, at a loss for words. Shaking my head and closing my mouth, I stepped back. By now Dinah and Normani had both come back over as the three of them stared at me expectantly. “So…?” Normani trailed off, the three women awaiting my reply.

***

Bringing her fist up to knock on the door, she shifted from side to side impatiently, glancing around. When the door opened and she came face to face with the familiar hazel eyes, she spoke quickly. “They know that Camila is alive.”

Hazel eyes turned to slits as she dragged the woman inside before shutting the door. “What the hell do you mean by "they know” Janelle?“ She hissed out, anger coursing her body.

Janelle shook like a leaf under the harsh, murderous gaze of Lola.

***

a/n: im so sorry for the late update. because of that i made this chapter extra long and divided it into two parts. the next part is gonna be so… just wow lmao. so double update for y'all. i’ll post that after seeing the feedback on this one.

please make sure to comment and vote. to my tumblr readers, please visit my wattpad @ wthbello to see when i upload the second half of this part. please answer chapter questions below if you’re a wattpad reader.

what do you think about lauren accusing tori?

what do you think tori and her mom will find out?

how do you feel about this chapter overall?

what do you think of janelle?

do you think lauren will try to go along with finding camila?

how do you feel about laurens initial reaction?

thank you so much for reading. i really, really, really, really, reeeeaaaalllllyyyyy, hoped you enjoyed it. please let me know if i should go ahead and post part two of this chapter or have yall just forgotten about this book? lmao.

once again, make sure to comment and vote. answer those end of the chapter questions too. lmao (:

ALSO DONT WORRY NORMANIS COMING OUT IN THE BEGINNING WILL SOON BE UTILIZED A FEW CHAPTERS IN. IT WASNT JUST FOR SHOW.

one last thing, i wanna address the whole laucy situation momentarily. if one of my readers happens to be apart of the group of people who harasses lucy, who comments endless lines of "camren is real” under any of their posts, who deliberately tries to hurt anyone lauren or camila have gotten close to, this is a giant fuck you to you. please hop the fuck off my page.

there’s nothing more disgusting than a group of people who intentionally try to hurt others for - as lauren would put it - their own sick pleasure. people romanticize gay ships these days and its kind of creepy. obsessing over two people who have told you time and time again that something isn’t real is crazy af. sure i write camren and yes i do ship them. but im also respectful of their wishes as human beings. im respectful of the fact that the things i read and write is nothing but fictional and should stay that way. im respect of the fact that they are two grown women trying to get through life as individuals and create their own individual relationships.

please, i am begging you, give it a rest. camren isn’t alive. never has been and never will be. its a fantasy that fans have made up. thats not a problem. everyone has the right to feel a certain way towards something, but forcing it onto someone? hurting people they love? now that’s a whole new level and it’s unacceptable.

as someone around the girls’ age, (im 20) and pretty much had to grow up at a young age like that, if not younger, i kind of understand in a sense. i was put into the foster system from age 6-16. luckily being adopted in my late teens. i had to grow up hella fast and if in that mix, i had a group of people on my back pairing me with my best friend and saying that we’re dating, we’re fucking on the DL, making up scenarios and theories as to how that person and i could secretly be together, i’d hate my life. i mean, what’s fun in having millions of people intentionally ruin aspects of your life for their own wants?

all im saying is respect lauren and whatever relationship she’ll have with lucy. because ive seen it. ive seen how those two stare at each other and THATS love. not whatever we make up in our heads. those two have been through it all with each other and the least we can do as people who love and care for lauren is respect how she feels towards someone and i hope that one day they can mend their broken relationship and come out the way that they had planned to. come out with zero fucks and unconditional love and happiness towards each other.

if you don’t like that, if you don’t wanna read what i have to write anymore because i choose to respect two individuals and keep my fantasies, fake, then please by all means, unadd this story from your library and never read any of my works again.

thats all i have to say on this matter. i have the utmost respect for lauren and lucy and i wish nothing but goodness and happiness to those two. thats love. whether hard headed camren shippers choose to respect that or not. if you are willing to fuck someone else’s happiness up for your own, you’re a horrible person and fuck you. goodbye.

don’t forget to follow me (;

sorry if that rant or this chapter as a whole made no sense. english isnt my first language and i tend to fuck up a lot when it comes to writing it. anyways thanks for reading.

ellianna, xxxxxxx

#UPDATE #series #x factor #non AU #AU #slash #camren #norminah #angst drama #romance fluff #submission #our broken white rose

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