#i spent 10 separate minutes just trying to get grim's legs right

[fell-fell]

hey :) *pushes my sibling-coded adeuyuu agenda onto you*

(reference under cut)

i got lazy with the background as you can tell

[albionscastle]

We’ll Meet Again 10 - It Hurts to Say Goodbye

I’m apologising for the shortness of the chapter. The next few will be respective points of view and this was the only place I could leave it that made sense.

FIC MASTERLIST

WE’LL MEET AGAIN 10

IT HURTS TO SAY GOODBYE

There wasn’t a single goodbye in your life that had been easy. Starting with your parents, you’d spent the past decade saying goodbye in one way or another to everyone you loved. You didn’t want to do it again, not ever.

But if there was anything that the war had taught you, it was that life rarely worked the way you wanted it to, and goodbyes were par for that course. You’d said a tearful goodbye to Jack’s parents that morning, a tearful interlude at the railway station. Here were two people that you’d only known for a couple of days and yet you loved them already. Telling them farewell had been hard, but harder for Collins. Everyone openly wept as his mother hugged him and his father, with tears in his eyes told his only child how proud he was of him.

It was a scene played out every minute of the day across the Continent, parents sending their sons off to war, their pride clashing with their fear that their child would never come home again. Even knowing that you would be writing to them and living by them when it was all over, it was still hard. You and Jack walked back to the B&B silently, hand in hand after waving the train off, lost in your thoughts and neither one of you wanting to address the elephant in the room.

He had to report back tomorrow.

The honeymoon was over and reality was just waiting to take back your happiness. You didn’t know how you were going to have the strength to say goodbye to him. Every part of you already missed him, even though he stood right next to you.You had to be strong for him though, he was the one going back to that horror, the constant danger, the pressure to defend his country. He didn’t need to take your sorrow with him, only your strength and your love to keep him safe.

The moment the door to your room closed, Collins spun you, his mouth on yours before you could even yelp. The kiss was bruising, his teeth biting at your lips as he pushed you back against the door, yanking your coat off and tossing it aside. Something wild had taken over the both of you, you kissed him back just as passionately, fingers tugging at his hair as he hauled your body up, your legs around his waist.

“Now.” he growled, undoing his trousers as he held you against the door. “I haf tae have ye now.”

The throbbing between your thighs agreed, your neck arching back as he pushed your knickers aside, dragging his fingers along the center of you.

“God Jack!” you agreed as you felt him positioned at your entrance.

You were desperate to feel him inside of you, writhing against him where you were pinned to the wall. Collins’ fingers held your hip tightly, his thumb brushing across your bruised lips. Holding his gaze you sucked it into your mouth, revelling in his groan as you slid your tongue over the pad of it.

One hard jerk of his hips and he was there, buried so deep that you couldn’t tell where he ended and you began. You clenched around him, feeling the throb to match your own, the desperate need for more.

“Please Jack,” you begged, sliding your hands down, under his trousers to clutch at his rear, trying to pull him closer. “Please, just have me.”

His teeth nibbled at your jaw as he drew out slowly, leaving you panting and gasping. His bright blue eyes sought yours, gripping you in his hard gaze as he surged forward, slamming into you with such force that your whole body banged against the door. The noise didn’t bother you, nor did either of you worry about who might hear. He took you, hard and fast against the door, your thighs shaking around his hips as he pushed into you over and over.

You saw stars when you came, your muscles spasming around him as you cried out, his movements not slowing until, with several hard, deep thrusts he let out a roar, emptying himself inside of you. Sweat sheened on you both as Collins kissed you gently, his hands smoothing your hair, cupping your cheeks, hips rocking as he shuddered.

“I love ye.” he whispered over and over, punctuating every kiss with another declaration.

It was all you could do to to keep the tears stinging behind your eyelids from spilling down your cheeks. Instead you wrapped your arms tightly around his shoulders, never wanting to let him go.

“I love you too, Jack.”

Throughout the night you came together, over and over, neither of you wanting to sleep even a moment of your last hours together. The pale dawn light as the sun rose was an affront, the day a villain whose only goal was to separate you from Collins. You wanted to ignore it, to deny that the morning had come.

You snuggled closer to Jack, fingers tracing patterns on his chest as his stroked up and down your arm. Neither of you wanted to break the spell.

Eventually he sighed, the moment was over and it was time to face reality again.

“We haf tae get ready tae leave.”

You nodded, your throat constricting, not wanting him to see your pain. Jack’s jaw ticked and clenched, his eyes as grim as yours. Finally he moved, pressing his lips to your shoulder before sliding out of bed to walk, naked, to the bathroom door.

“Are ye comin?” he grinned as you flung back the covers, climbing over the bed to join him.

You took the longest shower you could, gently washing one another under the lukewarm water. Collins rested his head against yours as you soaped his hair, wrapping his arms around your waist as the water ran over you both. The tears you’d been holding back ran freely, disguised by the water, your hands stroking his back as you fought against letting him go. He was quiet as he shut off the water, wrapping a towel under your arms as you dried his hair, your fingers playing with his beard.

“Tha’s gonna haf tae go I’m afraid lass.” He looked at you ruefully as you frowned, you rather liked him with the beard.

“Let me do it then.” You nodded, gathering up his straight razor and cream.

Collins looked bemused as you hopped up on the vanity beside the sink, expertly sharpening the razor’s edge on the leather strap.

“Come on then,” you beckoned him over, laughing at the slightly fearful look on his face. “I'm not going to cut up your pretty face.”

He smiled wryly, stepping up to you and between your knees so you could reach. His eyes closed briefly as you smoothed the cream over his jaw and neck, his knuckles smoothing up and down your thighs. He tried to hide it but he flinched when you made the first drag over his skin, washing the razor off in the sink before applying it again.

His eyes opened, watching as you bit your lip in concentration, the sharp blade gliding across his skin.

“Where did he learn tae do tha Y/N?”

You cleaned the blade again, not meeting his eyes as you titled his chin up.

“Sometimes at the hospital, all the boys want is a clean face. I can't take their pain away or fix what's wrong, but I can at least do that for them.”

You didn't mention that many times those boys were corpses and all you could do was make what was left of them more presentable before their bodies were shipped back to their families. The last thing Collins needed to worry about was the death and dismemberment that surrounded you daily. For now, at least, that your burden to bear.

“Promise me ye’ll still do this wi' me when we're old.” He sighed.

“Only if you help my old bones up onto the vanity.” You laughed, wiping his now smooth face with a wet flannel. “There you go, your superiors can't complain about you being scruffy anymore.”

“Ye do a better job than the barber on base, lass. Ye should be gettin payment fer yer services.”

You giggled, the idea was ridiculous, at least until Jack pushed your thighs open wide and knelt down.

The whole town likely heard you screaming his name.

Neither of you spoke much on the drive back to London, you spent it nestled under his one arm, your arms around his waist. He drove much slower, the eagerness of the trip down to Cornwall gone. All that waited for you at the end of this trip was separation and danger.

How long would this awful war go on for?

You tried not to cry as the pulled up to the boarding house, the familiar smell of smoke as always thick in the London air. Collins fussed, making sure you had a copy of the marriage certificate, telling you he would inform his higher ups as soon as he got back so that you could access his pay.

“Jack, I don't want your pay…” you tried to brush it off but he stopped you with a kiss.

“Yer ma wife, it's yers if ye want it.” He paused, flattening his palm over your lower belly. “Ye may haf need of it ye ken?”

You did, he was referring to the baby that you had probably made. After that first slip you had been less than careful, though this was the first time that the possibility had been brought up again. Your hand covered his, lips brushing against his jaw.

“If I have need.” You acquiesced, finally earning you a beaming smile from your husband.

“Thas ma gurul.” His face turned serious again. “I'll no haf leave fer a bit, maybe at Christmas but I canna promise.”

“I'll be here waiting.” You promised, your shaking hands covering his. “Whatever day you come home.”

“I like tha, commin home tae ye. Promise me ye’ll write tae me every day.”

“I will.”

The tears came and Collins wipes them away with his fingers, then his lips as they brushed across your face.

“Ah lass, donna cry, I'll be back before ye know it.” His voice was tight, trying to convince himself as well as you.

You both knew there was an equal chance of never seeing one another again after this moment.

Jack wrapped his arms around you, holding you close as you wept against his chest. You had tried, so hard, but you couldn't hide it from him.

“I love you so much.” You sniffled against his jacket.

He leaned back, cupping your cheeks in his hands, his eyes soft and sad.

“And I love ye Y/N. No matter what happens jus know tha. Ye’ve made me happy, ye’ve given me the most precious and wonderful time o ma life. Jus always remember tha.”

He kissed you, long and slow and you pushed all the love you had into kissing him back, committing every detail to memory. Cataloguing the width of his shoulders, the smooth length of his neck, even the little that sat above his top lip. All stored away for the long and lonely nights ahead.

You managed to stand tall, your knees shaking as you waved him goodbye. Waiting until the car and Collins were out of sight before collapsing into a weeping mess as Della, Dolores and Violet held you tight.

Please God, just bring him back to me!

The words repeated like a litany in your brain, even as the bombs fell again and the sirens shrieked.

And as you finally fell asleep in the cold light of dawn you were still repeating them.

@from-the-clouds