#i start physical therapy on tuesday i'm so anxious but i just hope it helps :(

[cheekblush]

spent the whole day in bed on my phone someone please assassinate me

[finyx7733]

06/05/24

Affirmations: I am worthy of love I am capable of great things I am not a burden I am made of stardust and magick

So I woke up today with a lot of anxiety, I'm restless and I feel an overwhelming sense of dread, my limbs feel as if they are filled with sand, they are heavy and weighted down. All I want to do is cry or scream. Maybe break something, but I know that isn't going to help make me feel any better. I'm going to try and turn it around, and do things today that spark joy and make me feel productive. My therapist V gave me some journaling prompts to help me when I am feeling like this, one of them is called P.I.E.S. I think I will follow the prompt and see if it helps.

How do I feel physically today? Physically I feel drained, I didn't fall asleep until 2:30-3:00am and I woke up super early, so I am exhausted. My limbs feel as if they are weighted down and I am having trouble concentrating. My mind is racing and I can't seem to keep my thoughts straight. I know it's part of my mania but that doesn't make it any easier to overcome. I am hyper-fixating on the stupidest of things and I can't seem to focus on anything for a long period of time. It's just frustrating.

Am I intellectually stimulated? Today I am going to try and do some research on different things, I want to learn more about my BPD and Paganism. I think that will stimulate my brain and maybe help me focus some of this energy.

How do I feel emotionally today? Emotionally I am feeling good. My mood is really high and even though I feel anxious I'm in good spirits. I do feel a bit restless but I think I just need to do something physical, maybe go for a walk or clean something to get out this energy.

How do I feel spiritually today? I sat out in nature and just listened to some soft calming music, it made me feel at peace, though it is 105 degrees out today, and after a while, I got too hot to just sit out there so I came inside. I started watching videos about paganism last night, it was really interesting. I'm going to take notes and I will share what I learn.

Today is kind of a slow day, I have a therapy appointment at 1 pm which I'm a little anxious about, I don't know why V is really nice but I've only met with her one time and I'm afraid we are going to go into some heavy stuff and I don't know how it's going to affect me. I have been manic for two days now, I think I've had 7 hours of sleep in two days. Last night I didn't go to bed until 4 am and I was awake at 7:30 am because the dogs had to go out and they were barking. I'm not tired though nor am I grumpy so I will take the win. I'm hoping I will be able to sleep tonight but I suppose only time will tell.

Mimi had to go to work today, she is working at a Dude Ranch in the kitchen and she absolutely loves it. She says the staff are amazing and her boss is just lovely. I'm glad she found a place to work that brings her joy, she is such a kind and caring person she deserves some happiness in her life.

Before she got this job we would do the household chores together, we would pick one day out of the week and just get shit done, but now that she is working I don't think its fair for her to have to clean the house on her days off and since I'm not working I decided that I would surprise her and do all the chores myself. Trying to get them all done in one day alone was difficult, so I made a list of chores and broke them down. To keep myself from getting overwhelmed I picked one chore and assigned it to a day of the week. So while she is at work, I can do something productive and help out around the house.

Mind you there are some things I do daily, like the dishes, feeding the dogs, make my bed and declutter our living space. Here is what my chore list looks like in case anyone was wondering. Sunday: Bathroom. (toilet, sink, mirrors, floors, and trash) Monday: nothing. Tuesday: Laundry (wash and dry, put away) Wednesday: Bedroom (trash, vacuum, wipe down surfaces) Thursday: Closet (declutter, vacuum) Friday: nothing Saturday: nothing

I had my appointment with V and everything went really well. She listened to the goals that I've created to make sure they were reasonable goals and then she suggested I tried yoga. She said it is all about breathing and being intuned with your body. So I'm going to give it a try and see if it is something that piques my interest. I have several walking videos I have saved, so I am thinking maybe I'll do yoga 4 days out of the week and the walking videos the other 3 days out of the week. That way I move my body everyday, this will help me to lose weight. Mimi will be home soon and then we will probably start dinner, I'm not really sure what we are having tonight but whatever it is will be great. Mimi is a really good cook. I have some videos I want to watch so I think I'm going to go take the dogs out and do a little research. Ta for now.

[thetrashywritingwitch]

hi, I hope you’re having a good day/night!

I was hoping you could possibly give me some advice, or even just kind of some understanding? i’m not sure i’m just super stressed.

I am starting back to school on tuesday, and i’m so stressed. I have been genuinely stressed since the day after I finished my summer classes. i’ve spent the last 18 days in a constant state of panic over it.

the reasons are : 1) this is my first semester physically on campus again since mar 2020. I literally found out I would no longer be on campus the night after I had wisdom teeth surgery leading into spring break. 2) I have severe school anxiety, and i’m stressed about presentations and doing well in courses. I have panic attacks often over assignments out of fear of failure. that’s like my biggest fear ever.

the biggest stress, ironically, is that it’s my last semester. I thankfully only have 4 classes, one of which is an elective, and two of the four are fully online. my elective can be done at my own pace and is only like 4 exams that are super easy (I took a similar one this summer and it was so easy).

even tho I know that this semester isn’t THAT bad, i’ll be able to manage things better since i’m only on campus physically two days for two classes that are back to back, but I can’t stop the anxiety that it’s my last semester !!! I can’t fail !!!

idk I hope this doesn’t just sound whiney but anytime I think about it being my last semester I feel like i’m going to throw up im so anxious I can’t. i’m going to be one of the first people in my family to graduate (only my half aunt has as far as I know, but she’s not close to my close family) and i’m scared of failure bc i’ll disappoint my family.

there’s so much expectation that i’ll be finishing bc this is a Big Thing since my family’s support will have a clear pay off??? my older brother will be graduating after me due to certain circumstances, so it currently feels like all the attention of success is on me specifically since i’m the one this close to graduation.

anyways you don’t have to respond to this i kinda just needed to vent bc im scared and it doesn’t feel like almost anyone I know irl would really Get It?

thank you if you decide to respond I truly appreciate how kind you are to anons on your acc

Im sorry you're feeling so stressed about stuff rn. Honestly, have you looked into therapy or getting meds to help with anxiety? It seems to be hindering you daily and interfering with your life to the point where something needs to change. I just recently started anxiety meds a few months ago and even tho it's a very low dose I can tell I'm not as stressed about the tiniest things as I used to be

So if you have the option I would suggest trying to talk to a therapist or psychiatrist who might can help you figure out ways to manage this anxiety better because you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself

There's nothing wrong with being afraid of failure. I am and a lot of other ppl are too. But when that fear starts to overwhelm is, then it becomes an issue. I suggest making a planner or calendar of what you need to do day by day. One small step at a time vs the big picture. Decide what's manageable for you realistically and set small goals for yourself

I think a professional might have more personalized advice that might help but yeah. Maybe your school has stress and anxiety managment resources you can look into? Counselors? I feel like most schools have some kind of thing like that

Best or luck to you anon