finyx7733

[finyx7733]

Introduction

I've tried to start this blog several times; each time, I've gotten about halfway through it and just deleted everything. I've always thought writing a blog would be easy, it's just another way for people to get to know you, but if you want to do it right, you have to pour some of yourself into your work. You have to be vulnerable and I'm coming to realize how hard of a thing that actually is. I suppose I should start by introducing myself, so I'll begin there. Hi! I'm Fi and I am thirty-eight years old. Some of my hobbies include writing stories, swimming and I've just discovered crocheting. I'm currently working on a blanket for my best friend and roommate, Mimi. I enjoy reading, watching anime, cosplaying, and being in nature. Some of my dislikes are bugs, the dark, and rude people. I am embarking on a life journey, my mental health is questionable at best, and my physical health definitely could use some help as well, so I've decided to document my journey the good and the bad days and everything in between. I want to be as raw and open as I can be. I want to find a community with like-minded people who are just trying to improve their lives one step at a time. Over the years I have been diagnosed with several mental illnesses: Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), Bipolar 2 disorder, C-PTSD, severe depression and anxiety, Depersonalization/derealization and agoraphobia these mental illnesses make everyday life hard, I struggle to do simple everyday tasks like going to the store, working sometimes even taking a shower can leave me emotionally exhausted, as for my physical health I have always been overweight and I have been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. This means big changes are coming a lot of them all at once and I don't deal well with sudden change, but doing what I've been doing my entire life hasn't helped me, in fact eating like crap just makes me feel like crap. Not taking my medication for my mental health only makes me spiral out of control. If I want to become the person I've always wanted to be then I am going to have to put in the effort and make the necessary changes in my life.I've sat down and made some goals for myself. I have been known to make grand plans and goals for myself but I think these goals that I've created are obtainable. Here are my goals and the steps I'm going to take to obtain them Goal one: Take my medication as prescribed Steps: take my morning medication right when I wake up, take my night time medication thirty minutes before I'm ready to go to bed Goal two: Continue care with my mental health team (therapists, case managers, and psychologists) Steps: Write down my appointment times and make sure I go to each appointment when scheduled Goal three: move my body 3x per week Steps: go out for a walk, watch videos on YouTube and just move my body Goal four: eat better foods Steps: Eat a high protein, low carb diet, cut out sugary snacks and drinks Goal five: lose 93 pounds in two years Steps: By moving my body 3x per week and making healthy changes to my eating habits, I will lose weight. So yeah, that is a little about me, I would like to use this blog to document my life journey, even if only for myself, seeing the progress I am making will be really helpful and I think writing a blog will be a fun way to do that. What you can expect from me, you can expect me to be a little scattered until I get used to posting. I tend to start things and get overwhelmed and never finish them but this is something I really want to do and I don't want to let myself down. So I'm going to do my best, wish me luck!!

[finyx7733]

whatever it takes, catra.

[finyx7733]

What getting my life in order looks like. I have been struggling a lot with my mental health lately. Last month was the anniversary of my mother’s death and I had a hard time handling it. I was manic for days and I stopped taking my medication like I should. Now that we are in a new month I am going to take my meds the way I’m supposed too and I will be doing things that help my mental health.

[finyx7733]

Marcille had a dream last night~ 💖

I haven’t finished the series yet I’ve only read up to 10 which is exactly where season 1 cuts off so I’m gonna die if they don’t get some kind of happy ending….

[finyx7733]

a quick psa from somebody with bpd!! 'yandere core' isn't cute, it's not adorable, and it's not funny. it isn't 'uwu cutesy' to pretend to be violently obsessed with somebody to the point of experiencing intrusive and impulsive thoughts to harm yourself or others, and it's very uneducated to make the claim you're an 'irl yandere'. not to mention it just makes you look like a dick.

'obsessive love disorder' is not an actual diagnosis recognized by the dsm-5, instead it is a series of symptoms that fall under one name that are associated with a number of mental illnesses, most notably things like bpd and ocd.

it's not funny to glamorize how these symptoms make you feel. it is horrifying and debilitating to experience constant nausea, distress, anxiety, and violent thoughts to do with a person. if you do experience this, it is nothing you should be flaunting or trying to normalize, you should be seeking help. it's okay to find community, and make light of the things you are experiencing. what is not okay is fictionalizing the symptoms and glorifying them, or even worse, bragging about them or acting on them.

thanks for coming to my ted talk, 'irl yanderes' do not interact with me, ever.

[finyx7733]

Aw they love each other so much 🥹

[finyx7733]

I only like *you*

[finyx7733]

[finyx7733]

I hate feeling like I'm spiraling out of control, I try to do it in private so I don't make others feel uncomfortable. I don't want to be a burden to others...I'm afraid it will make the last of my friends not want to be around me.

[finyx7733]

by jennscomics

[finyx7733]

[finyx7733]

[finyx7733]

🕷️0_PoPcrtw_0🕷️

[finyx7733]

this guy had a grip on me as a kid

[finyx7733]

I love so much!

I don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips

[finyx7733]

Did a catra fanart :3

(With inspo)

[finyx7733]

Apparently it’s my tumblr birthday??? So here’s some old She-Ra fan art to celebrate