#i still rly like this tho hopefully this works now lmao

[rauberrauber]

real old art for remus’ birthday from like 2020 which tumblr never let me post

[bonyato]

I just realized we didn't get Death Game this season either. i see .. Well that's okay *deflates like a balloon*

[kuiinncedes]

fucking finally tested my code and it worked 🥳

[kentopedia]

rylie ur so real for the rant u posted bc i feel the same way sometimes . . . i started writin smut ONE TIME bc i wanted to try it out and ever since then i sorta just kept doing it bc i dont like when my activity goes 📈📉📉📉 and like ok i dont rly mind writin smut but i wish some of the other stuff that i write would do as well cause i never rly intended for my blog to become a nsfw blog but uhhhh here we are 🧍 and if im being fr i kinda feel the same way about gojo too. this isnt really the point but i like gojo n all but honestly i only still write a lot of jjk bc that gets way more popular than my bsd stuff so i feel more motivated to write for jjk and less so for bsd even tho i enjoy writin for dazai n chuuya more 😖😖 oh well. anyways thats my own rant, u dont have to post/answer this but im cool either way lmao !

honestly halfway thru typing that i forgot what my point was but uhhh yea hopefully u know what i mean </3

HANNAH NO i know exactly what you mean 😭 i wrote that one nanami piece bc (well obviously i wanted to) but also bc i knew it would get notes :/ and i actually really like it don’t get me wrong i had fun writing it!! but now everyone’s talking about ppl writing that stuff for him and it makes me feel weird being lumped in with that group of ppl. but my nanami stuff never does as well as my other work and idek why bc i’ve been a nanami blog since day 1, my first work was for nanami and i have literally never changed my url ?? & i DO love writing for dazai so so much but i also love writing for nanami so so much. so it’s kind of a bummer when of all the characters i’ve written nanami pieces get the least notes. especially bc ik the jjk fans are alive and well.

sigh. not to start any discourse but i like writing other stuff more than nsfw too ! but now that i’ve gotten so many followers i feel like … i have to keep doing it. and i like to try new things but i don’t want to mostly be a nsfw blog either. i have fun writing it but i get tired of it quickly, that’s why most of my nsfw pieces are so long. & it’s so easy for people to say “write what you love” but it’s discouraging when i write 10k words of mostly sfw & get 400 notes & other people can write 400 words of nsfw and get 10k notes.

[hematomes]

so you're my poor little meow meow?! my pathetic little man? my good little boy? aww you're such a sweetheart <33

i-im making you question your sexuality🥺hehe im blushing thank u👉🏽👈🏽 (>is so evil about it)

but naos my hair SUCKS the colour has faded completely and i wanna dye it so baaaaddd but last time i went to the hairdresser i explained my hair plans for summer & she was like ".... yeah.... maybe. maybe Don't dye your hair in the meantime. if you wanna have enough hair to do That." so I've been thinking of dyeing it anyway but actually june is so close now & blue would be a bitch to remove, box dyes are a no-no, and any semi-permanent dye that isn't blue lasts for like 1,5 weeks max. so im just gonna suffer

jdjd sorry for the hair rant CONGRATS ON YOUR DILUC! bitch boy finally decided to come to you this is a pretty big deal naos you've been pss pssing him for a year!! i actually got ayaka last week i love her seiyuu so much<33 only thing is i was saving for kazuha but that trailer got me (curse you hoyoverse marketing ploys) i just hope he decides to be good to me. he's literally my lockscreen cmon kazuha

ooh hope you have fun on tuesday! and good luck on that exam! what subject is it?

my alcohol resistance is a fluid thing i think. it depends on things such as the weather, the humidity, the direction of the wind & how insane I've been feeling lately (a lot).

thanks!!! (for the grade) not to switch our roles but i could do with a congratulatory head pat rn:( people need to tell me im doing a good job more often im starved!!!!!!

anyway. im manifesting productivity today for the both of us.

LMAO i can if u want but you're gonna have to share, love

abdjz listen my knowledge in straight/wavy/etc hair is abysmal, but it still looks pretty imo. take care of it for the summer tho <3

he did!! and he was so good abt it. came on soft pity, on the standard banner, like the goodest little boy. immediately rewarded him w the wolf gravestone (sorry xinyan, if i manage to get another one ill give it to u i promise). kinda regret ascending hu tao to lv.90 & crowning her skill like 2 days ago tho, she made me broke in both exp books and mora

AND CONGRATS ON AYAKA she's so good... her jp voice aaa <3 kazuha should come in 2.8, if all goes well you'll be fine dw

it's an essay on foreign literature, im not exactly confident bc im the worst with essays but hopefully it won't be too bad. heard the professor might only use our 2 best grades for the total tho, so maybe ill be fine even if i fuck this one up

im headpatting you rn, you really did great and worked hard <3 im proud of you little soup

hoping the manifesting works zvwjs i don't rly have a choice anyway bc i don't want to speedrun it tmrw so!! but good luck sweets

[wooahaes]

it's okay!!!

i haven't been to his house yet so i have asked my mum for some photos <3

the mafia ones i mentioned are from the don't lie eps :))) though i'm pretty sure there is a mafia one from the TTT ones where kwannie tries to attack hoshi LMAO

i think hoshi has got into the bias list, he beat jihoon so easily. all i had to do was watch a compilation of him and now it's over for me 💕 dino's laugh makes me laugh SO MUCH it's just so funny

there's nothing funnier than when you're laughing silently, and you have to just take a minute to get ur breath back and stop hurting so you can laugh again 😭😭😭

i need taemin to come back like rn i miss him aaa

i would just take them all to a cat cafe with me, bc svt + cats? best day EVER 💙 i would just take so many pictures and then after that, hide and seek pls (idc that i'm 28 I LOVE HIDE AND SEEK AND I WANNA PLAY)

i will!!!! it was one of my cat's birthday yesterday!!! toffee is now TWO 🍓🥰🍓🥰 she's a beautiful baby :3

OH MY GOD HOW GOOD IS TREASURE'S CB??? HELLO IS SO GOOD I HAVE LEARNED THE WHOLE CHOREO I LOVE IT OMG

hiii lovely <3

aaa pls dont worry about it if you can't get them! i'd absolutely love to see but you don't need to go out of your way for me or anything!!

oooh ok! i still need to just... binge through the rest of gose at some point. the ttt one is def the one im thinking about where he's ready to just throw down w hosh dsfkhsf i love seungkwan

incredibly valid of u <3 i love my horanghae man... he's just so funny but he's so dedicated n sweet :( i love him

true but also the pain kshfdkh my stomach always hurts so bad like let me catch my breath!! thank u!! skfhsdhfk

also same :( hasn't he served enough w his music career... please deposit him safely into my arms along w ms kkoongie. im just hoping for a shinee comeback sometime after he gets back (hopefully not super soon??? but like. i do want to see my guys again <3)

ooo svt cat cafe would be so fun. it would absolutely end up just being me n wonwoo n vernon sitting on the floor and playing w cats more than anyone else, but the entire group in a cat cafe seems fun <3

also omg happy belated birthday toffee!! thats such a cute name for a kitty too aw <3

also the trsr comeback... i love them so much. i wasn't sure how the group was gonna do w yedam and mashi both on hiatus still but they killed it. im so proud of them <3 also volkno... even tho yosh didnt get a huge part in the song (i look at the lyrics n its mainly hyunsuk n haruto which is great!! but also what abt my man....)

but also god... just looking at how much they contributed to the lyrics n stuff. im so proud of them <3

also also.... asahi's song w haruto + the fact asahi worked on clap! reminded me why i love orange so much. i rly hope to see more from him in the future. ugh this comeback was just so GOOD i feel bad i havent really been able to appreciate it as much as i've wanted to. i literally made gifs of yoshi and that was it sdkfhsf i am just so in luv w him...

a mutual once said that i like tiger boys and between yosh and hosh and mark nct... yeah i do sfdkhdsf

[fantastic-rambles]

Im so glad there's sm1 who appreciates how well adam's character is written, i need to vent to u (sorry!).

Ok so honestly, despite all the terrible shit he's done, i feel so so bad for him. I know that with police involved it's probably not gonna end well for him, but holy shit i want him to mend his relationships and heal so badly (tho with 🍵🌸 it's probably ruined to the point of no return). I just wish he opened up to tadashi and/or 🍵🌸 when they were young, and found comfort in them. I know the majority of the fandom wants to run adam over with a truck or smth, but honestly it's his fucked up family that truly deserves that. U have no business fucking up a person like that, adam should've left em years ago(which hopefully he will eventually do in the end). Anyway rly hoping that sm1 saves him and bitch slaps his father(i actually don't remember if he's still alive lmao) and aunts.

Sorry again for suddenly throwing this at u (feel free to leave this unanswered, no worries!)

Oh no, please don’t feel sorry! I love discussing my obsessions, lol. And also finding other non-Adam-haters. <3

But yes, absolutely, I feel bad for Adam. It doesn’t excuse what he does (though what he does is child’s play compared to *actual* villains), but he’s a textbook case of an abused child turning into an abusive adult. On top of that, mental health has a huge stigma in East Asian countries, so all the people yelling that he should get therapy... while they’re right, I understand why he doesn’t due to cultural norms, as well as the fact that he doesn’t realize how fucked up he is and in his relationships with other people. The first step to addressing a problem is to understand that there is a problem, but he doesn’t see a problem at all with what he does (and his morality pet feels too guilty about his own sins to point it out), so he can’t take steps to fix it.

His family is definitely a root cause of the problem (for some reason, I’m under the impression his father is in jail, but I might be misremembering/misinterpreting something one of his aunts said--in any case, I don’t think he’s around right now), but to be honest, while I like Tadashi, I also blame him for part of Adam’s trauma too. It’s pretty obvious that Tadashi has some sort of inferiority complex--which yeah, again, understandable since he’s a servant’s child, but then why do all the secret skating with Adam? Like, he realized that it was Adam’s only safe space, and just because Adam’s dad found out, it seems like he decided to just take that away from Adam?

The scene when Adam first sees “Snake” skating and says something like “Why now?” really hit me hard, because I believe that Tadashi has refused to skate with Adam for years (which is why Adam made “S” and is looking for “Eve”), and then when he finally does, which is something that should make Adam happy and remind them of the few bright moments of his childhood (plus, Tadashi is one of the only people who can skate with him equally), he’s doing it to try to completely take away what Adam loves more than anything else, and the only place where he can be himself. As I mentioned in another post, I think that Tadashi has good intentions in trying to do this, but the most recent episode has just hammered home the point that Tadashi doesn’t really understand how badly he fucked up before.

Like you said, if he’d had a more open relationship/friendship with Tadashi when he was younger and Tadashi continued to support him secretly (which I believe he stopped doing after the board-burning incident), I think that things could have turned out a lot different/better. I also think that with Cherry and Joe, there was a chance for things to work out and make him into a better person, but he was forced to leave them/go to America, where they couldn’t have a good influence over him. And imo, something also happened during those gap years that drove him batshit crazy and looking for his “Eve.”

At this point, I’m mostly hoping for one of two endings (for Adam):

That Adam somehow is made aware of how badly he’s fucked up everything and takes steps to make amends, including confessing to perjury and going to jail, which would be a huge middle finger/cutting ties to his family/aunts. I’m kinda skeptical that this will happen in a believable way, though, if that’s the intent, given that it seems Ep 11 will be him trying to traumatize Reki again so having a heel-face turn in one episode is pretty suspicious.

That Adam just goes down in a blaze of glory and destroys his skating kingdom in a fit of madness when it’s clear to him that he can never get what he really wants. This is also unlikely since I’m pretty sure he’ll end up going to jail one way or another, but if he’s going to be played off as “irredeemably evil,” then they should damn well go the whole way. Nothing he’s done so far convinces me that he’s a villain who deserves as much hate as he gets.

But yes, I feel like Adam is a marvelously complex character (partly because there’s still so much backstory missing, probably), which is why he’s my runaway favorite in the show. His characterization is absolutely head-and-shoulders above any other character’s. He’s a terrible guy for certain, but he makes the whole show possible.

[scarlethallow160]

as someone who was repeatedly on the receiving end of being used as an outlet by ex-friends talking about their love lives Constantly i refuse to subject anyone else to that

but i will also put a one-time cringefilled rambling post out

it has literally been so long since ive liked someone? the last person i “liked” was the only guy in my painting class i think like my freshman or sophomore year of college, and even then i just thought he was nice and like.....one of the hottest guys i’ve ever seen irl so i didnt technically like-like him bc we also barely interacted

but this is....different. i think he’s only been here like a month now? close to it? this was before my promotion so i didnt rly have to go out of my way to talk to anyone, so anytime someone starts chatting with me first at work i get pleasantly surprised, and hes pretty quiet so i was just like oh a nice new work acquaintance person to talk to at work?? when he’d occasionally talk to me (at my job sometimes even when ur working the same or similar shifts u may not ever see people lol). i’ve seen him talking with some other rly nice dudes at work i consider my work-friends so i thought maybe they mentioned me to him as one of the cool ppl at work and thats why he felt comfortable enough to start talking to me?

idk so whenever i’d see his name in the dash i’d be like oh cool x is here but again sometimes we’d rarely see each other cuz thats just how it is at work....but it is EXTREMELYYY rare that anyone shows any romantic interest in me--bc i was Absolutely the person assholes asked out as a joke in school--or any sort of interest really? so anytime someone (mostly guys if im being honest bc despite being queer, my brain can still be stuck in heteronormative ways....) goes out of their way to talk to me/be nice, i get like a little spasm in my brain?? and get a mixture of paranoia and anxiety thinking things like hm why are they talking to me? why are they being nice to me? are they just nice or do they like me/want something from me? shit like that. so whenever he’d talk to me i’d be like hmmmmmm why tho bc i overthink literally everything

and then one afternoon i was by myself finishing bagging my cart, and he was off already but when he walked past he was like “have a nice afternoon :)“ and i was like omg thanks u too?? bc even tho there are ppl i talk with at work, we dont usually say anything to each other when we pass in the store lol

i dont think me n the guy saw each other much after that or that thing happened where he’d be busy shopping and i’d be stuck in the box for us to interact much (and i also missed like three days a couple days ago from being really sick lmao) so yesterday when i saw we basically had almost the same shift cuz he was the 10pm and i was the closing specialist, i got happy bc initially i was like oh nice, one of the nice acquaintance ppl i talk to is here

but yesterday was a fucking shitshow and we were SO busy and honestly it was super disappointing cuz normally for closing shifts it gets chill and me and the other work ppl just relax and chat until closing so i was hoping that would happen but it didnt....and hes again pretty quiet so i cant tell if at times maybe hes too tired from the work to want to talk so i also dont want to bug him by trying to chat him up? but there was actually some moments that got chill where we were able to chat, and ive been wearing my dgd hat to work and it says their name on the back of it, and he saw it and asked if i listened to them and i was like !!!! bc ppl rarely have heard of them so i was kinda like oh shit wow hes actually heard of them and he mentioned that he i think listened to them in back high school?

(which.........if im being honest was kind of a relief to hear cuz that means hes not underage. but hopefully he’s like 20 or older bc i will feel shitty if i ended up liking a 19yearold without realizing it lmaooo and also at work its at the point where u literally cant tell how old some ppl are now)

but he mentioned he preferred another band i’d heard of in passing lol but then also i happened to look at him when his mask was kind of off, and i’d alrdy seen him without his mask before, but in that moment my brain spasm made me think ummm he kinda hot tho? and thats when i came to my extremely unfortunate realization.

and today his shift didnt start til much later, so technically if i had left my shift on time i wouldve seen him Maybe for an hour at most, but we were also rly fuckin busy today so i stayed a couple hours extra to help...and it fucking sucks now cuz anytime i saw him in the store, the monkey part of my brain would have that little spasm. and like...again i dont want to go out of my way to talk to him bc hes kinda hard to read on his mood but i also? Do want to talk to him when i can?? but at the same time i dont want to get my hopes up cuz ive literally never dated anyone before, and now that im a specialist and have like the tiniest bit of authority over the regular partners, id be worried if dating would even be allowed cuz we work in the same department, BUT AGAIN even thinking that is me getting my hopes up which i rly do not want to do.

this is so so so fucking stupid and cringey and embarrassing but even if nothing happens i kind of look forward now to seeing if we’ll have intersecting shifts? so in a weird cringey way i get kind of excited about future shifts and working now???

im trying to look on the bright side of things even if nothing happens lmaoaoao part of me also kind of wants to mention this to my friends who also work with me in case they....happen to hear of anything.....but at the same time i dont want them to see me talking to him/sending him out to shop knowing that i like him???

idk idk idk rambling about this shit helps even tho i also dont want anyone to see this and see how lame i’m being :))))))) this is literally such an unexpected turn of events. theres a guy in the produce department who made it clear he likes me but makes me uncomfortable (and also annoys me when he constantly tries to talk to me, tbh, hence my reservations abt wanting to talk to The Guy) with how....strong he comes on, and im like.........if someone were to like me could i pls change who it is hahahahhahahahah

things have been tough as of late so at least this is a Distraction?

it’s also a fucking sick joke bc our store puts out announcements congratulating the employees if they first started, if it’s their work anniversary, or their birthday, etc. and i saw one for The Guy last month bc he has the same birthday as my super shitty ex-friend/roommate lollllllllll

[staysuki]

i noticed that too, your replies were continuously getting posted XD as much as i want to respond back immediately, sleeps been taking over me bc of tiredness 😭 we re all busy with our own lives now, i hope we get to talk to each other soon frequently as how we ve been before ! ill miss you and 🍕 sm too :”>

same, i did it for about 6 months continuously lmao i dont regret it tho, self time is nice. i finished a ton of animes and kdramas lol i even started one piece and still up to date until now ! and yeah its very tiring to explain HAHAHAHA i just told them “ah self time langs” and they understood immediately thankfully HAHAHAHA im rly rly talkative but if im not in the mood, i srsly dont want to socialise, v v draining 😔💔

im so excited to read EHALOJ ill prob start it later night once i finish at least one school requirement. look forward to a whole ass diary entry 😛

“ill be waiting for your messages always :)))” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA OKE BE NAPANGITI AKO sOBRA 😭😭😭

thank you too, really. you and 🍕 made my days fun and exciting ! i always look forward to your replies and 🍕’s asks 😎 after waking up, i immediately open tumblr hUHU

the recent asks felt so sad 😔 lets stay positive as much as possible ! uWu good luck to us

- bs

me when i’m replying to your asks: 🏃‍♂���🏃‍♂️gotta go fast🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️ but yeah, sleep is more important ofc 🙈. i also miss talking with you guys!! little life update: i’m finally fully vaxxed ♥️♥️♥️ had a lot of problems getting to this point but i’m glad i am now. my fam got pfizer 🥲. i barely had any side effects for me cuz (aside from being on the younger side) i’m a pretty big health nut :,) and i worked out/exercised immediately once i got the vax so my body weren’t fatigued.

and 6 months 👁👁 i also go for just as long but sometimes because of work i’m forced to go back online which sucks. whenever i take breaks, i always try to do smth productive like journal and whatnot :,)

yes i’m waiting for that review again 😤♥️ hopefully mas coherent this time JKJK

and yeah, i always get excited whenever i get asks 😭✨

#staypositive 🕺🗣✨ come back here 🍕

[magniloquent-raven]

Ooh for your prompts: Fluffy Elmax sleepover with cuddling for #16 pls :') xoxox

i had such a good time writing this omg thank you!!! tho there’s a couple bits that threaten to be angst because im physically incapable of writing pure fluff lmao. it’s just tiny bits tho. just a smidge.

also, because s4 isn’t out yet i uh. kinda just did a time skip but didn’t rly change anything about how s3 left off? i know we know hopper’s alive but like. i guess he’s just still in russia in this fic LMAO rip. don’t think about it too hard

posted on ao3 as well :)

—-

Max’s watch timer beeps obnoxiously again. 8:36. El’s late. She hits snooze.

“When’s your friend supposed to be here, sweetie?”

“Soon, mom. You know, you and Neil don’t have to wait up.” They do this every time. Like Max isn’t almost seventeen and perfectly capable of being alone in her own damn house for five minutes. At this rate they’re going to be late for whatever thing it is they’re going to, and Neil will be even more of a bitch than usual.

Her mom glances over at him. He’s sitting in his armchair looking surly, checking his watch pointedly. Asshole.

“Well…I don’t think—”

Max hears a car pull up out front. “Oh, thank fuck,” she mutters, turning on her heel and marching out to greet the Byers’.

Joyce climbs out of the passenger seat as Max strides across the lawn. “Max, honey!” she waves, grinning bright, “How are you?” There’s always a…tone to how she asks that. Questions lurking under the surface that they don’t talk about. It makes Max’s insides all squirmy thinking about it, though she is on some level grateful for the concern.

Max stands on the curb, tugging on her earring. A habit by now. It’s both a comfort and a reminder. She got one hell of a lecture the day she came out of the bathroom with blood running down her neck and a safety pin in her earlobe, but she didn’t regret it for a second.

El slides out of the driver’s seat, her smile crinkling the corners of her eyes. Max watches her stand and adjust her shirt. She always looked good in yellow. “I’m good,” Max responds after a beat, and it’s honest for once.

The door behind her creaks. Probably her mom and Neil coming out of the house, hopefully to leave, finally. She doesn’t turn around, just steps into Joyce’s waiting arms and presses her face into her shoulder. Max is taller than her now, by a couple inches, so it hurts her neck a little, but it’s worth it.

Will’s still tucked away in the backseat, peering through the window, Max waves at him when she peeks up over Joyce’s shoulder.

Then El distracts her. “Your hair,” she says, gently tugging on a lock behind her ear. Max steps back from Joyce, and runs a hand through it, cheeks pink. Three years ago she’d hacked off all her hair with a pocket-knife, woke up the morning of Billy’s funeral with strands still stuck to her neck, locks hanging ragged across her forehead. Her mother had thrown a fit.

“Yeah, I cut it again,” Max says, like that wasn’t obvious. She’d let it grow out uneven and messy for a while, but she broke out the scissors again about a month ago. It’s neater than her last haircut, but not by much.

El’s hand is in Max’s hair again, dangerously close to her face. Max’s knees wobble a little.

“Bitchin’,” she says solemnly, after a few seconds of consideration.  

Max’s grin is blinding.

Her mother cuts in, before she can respond, gives her the usual talk about staying in the house and making sure she’s got her emergency numbers memorized. Then she bids them all a hasty, distracted goodbye. Her mom was never very comfortable about the Byers’. Probably something about Joyce’s too-knowing gaze, or the fact that El glares daggers at Neil every time he’s within range.

She’s doing it now. Watching him get into his truck with a quiet rage in her eyes. Joyce puts a hand on her elbow, and it doesn’t move until Neil’s truck has turned the corner at the end of the street.

“We should get going,” Joyce says, checking her watch. “Will wanted to be at Claudia’s an hour ago but we got caught up at Mike’s house, and, well, you know how it is,” she flutters her hands, approximating a shrug.

She hugs El goodbye, then pulls Max in for another one. “Call us if you need anything,” she says, pulling back and putting her hands on Max’s shoulders. That sad glint is in her eye again, and Max knows the offer extends beyond tonight.

“Thanks, Joyce, we will.”

By the time she’s taken the corner at the end of Cherry Lane Max’s watch is beeping again.

El glances down at it, a pinch between her eyebrows. “…Was that for me?”

“Uh.”

The confusion melts off her face, replaced by a cheeky grin. “It was!”

Max shuts the alarm off, cheeks burning. “Why were you guys at Mike’s for so long?” she asks. eager to change the subject. If the guys are meeting up at Dustin’s the delay wasn’t because Will and Mike were catching up, and, well, Mike and El’s relationship is…of interest to Max. For reasons.

El purses her lips. It’s a face that tells Max they’re gonna need to be sitting and cozy for this conversation because it’s gonna be a long one. So, she links their arms and pulls her inside.

An hour later they’re huddled under a throw blanket on the couch. El is giggling, face in her hands, and Max is wheezing around a mouthful of skittles.

“Oh, that’s so not funny,” she chokes out, trying not to spew candy everywhere, which brings about a fresh wave of laughter. El’s shoulders are shaking, brushing against Max’s and making her warm all over. God damn, she’s missed this.

“Then why are you laughing,” El replies, poking her side and smiling from ear-to-ear.

She’s beautiful, Max thinks. Her braid is half-undone, letting her hair curl around her face in gentle waves, and her eyes are bright. She looks happy, and Max holds on to that, keeps it all for herself because she did that, she made that happen. She might not have everything she wants from El, but she’ll take whatever she can get. Whatever El wants to give. And sometimes just her smiles are enough, enough to make Max’s chest constrict and her heart glow, because for now, she’s happy too.

She laughs again, in leu of a response. How can she not, when she feels so light she could float away, high on the soft strawberry scent of El’s shampoo and the way her cheek dimples when she grins. But she can’t say that, so she says, “Because it’s Mike,” and pokes El right back. “I’m legally obligated to laugh at his misfortune.”

They have a complicated friendship, which mostly boils down to her being willing to bail him out when he’s in shit, but only if she gets to make fun of him while she does it.

El wrinkles her nose a little, but her smile doesn’t dim, “You two are weird.”

She’s pretty sure it used to bother El, how much Mike and Max fought. Max can’t help but wonder if they’d have gotten along better if she wasn’t in love with his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend. Because she’d dumped him for good this time. Four months ago, apparently, though Mike was, until a few hours ago, under the impression it was temporary.

Max almost feels bad for him. Except she doesn’t. Apparently, he was a dick about the whole thing, so at least she has a solid reason not to.

“You love us,” Max scoffs. El may have broken up with Mike, but she’ll always love him in some way or another.

El’s expression softens, turns fond and sweet. She’s thinking about Mike, Max is sure, but the smile is still directed as her. Small victories. “I do,” she says quietly.

They order a pizza after that, and watch movies into the wee hours of the morning. By 3am Max’s throat is raw, and her stomach hurts from laughing (and too much pizza). It’s the most fun she’s had in a while. The Byers’ don’t visit as often as any of them would like.

Max isn’t even tired, but El’s head has been dropping onto her shoulder on and off for the past hour so she suggests they call it a night.

She knows that when the boys sleep over at each other’s houses they’ll take the floor, or the couch in the basement, anything but actually sharing a bed. As El wraps an arm around her waist and snuggles up with her under the blankets, Max takes a moment to wonder if that would be better or worse than this.

It always seemed so miserable to Max, how much boys have to limit themselves.  

But also…well, it might be easier sometimes. She wouldn’t have to deal with wanting things she shouldn’t want because El would be over there, and not right up in her space, hands warm and breath tickling Max’s ear. This is different than sitting thigh-to-thigh on the couch, it blurs the line more, and it’s the ambiguity that’s driving Max crazy.

She wasn’t tired before, but she’s wide-awake now.

Time creeps by strangely this late at night. Max isn’t sure how long she lays there, staring at the ceiling, trying to calm her pounding heart. El’s breath is steady, quiet, and her eyes are closed. Max is sure she’s asleep, she was so tired before.

Before she can stop herself her hand creeps up, brushes a strand of hair from El’s face.

Moonlit, she’s ethereal. There’s always been something otherworldly about El, with her big, dark eyes, always watching, boring holes into you with their intensity. Shadows play across her cheek, and Max tracks them for a while, absurdly jealous of moonlight.

She traces patterns on El’s forearm, the one resting on Max’s stomach, keeping her touch light so as not to wake her.

More time passes, and Max’s head feels heavy with sleep that won’t come. She’s groggy, leaning back but unable to keep her eyes closed.

She starts talking. Whispering. Remembering the times she read Wonder Woman comics to El until she fell asleep, and hoping, somewhere in her foggy brain, that it might work on herself too.

“You know… I always knew we’d be good friends. The second I heard your name I wanted to know you,” she murmurs, and draws a star on El’s wrist. “Didn’t know how badly I wanted until I saw you though. You were terrifying, and I loved it. And now…” Her eyes slide closed as she thinks. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. You’re beautiful. Everything about you. And I love you…more than I should.” She sighs, sits in silence and cards her fingers through El’s hair. It’s getting so long.  

El’s hand closes around her wrist.

Max’s eyes fly open, and she stills, heart pounding. “Uh.” El’s eyes are open, looking up at her, she’s awake, she’s awake, oh fuck– “Um. Did—did I wake you up, I’m—sorry if I woke you—”

“It’s okay.” The corners of her mouth turn up, slow and careful, “I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

“Oh.” Is all Max can manage, staring down at El with wide eyes, waiting for her to…do something. Max’s palms are sweating. She doesn’t know what to expect.

El moves her hand, puts Max’s palm against her cheek and shuffles forward until they’re nose to nose.

“Oh.”

She tastes like toothpaste and kiwi lip balm, and kisses as sweetly as she smiles. Her hands end up in Max’s hair, fingers gentle but demanding, guiding her forward. If Max wasn’t already laying down, she’d need to be because her knees are jelly.

“Oh,” El echoes when she pulls back, laughter in her voice. She presses a chaste kiss to the corner of Max’s mouth, careful and deliberate. Then her expression softens, sobers. “I was jealous of you. At first. Didn’t…know what it was. Know why. So, I ignored you. And… I’m sorry.”

Max shakes her head, “Ancient history. It’s okay.”

“No, I,” El stops, furrows her brow, “You were so happy. Free. I wanted that. And then, then you helped me have that. So. Thank you.” She cups Max’s face, fingertips tracing along her cheekbone, and Max’s heart sings. “And I love you too.”

They kiss again, and Max decides that El sleeping on the floor would’ve been a terrible idea.