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bubblesuga · 3 years

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Mahina || Part 1

Summary: Jungkook couldn't quite put his finger on it, but there was something drawing him to you. Like the moon tugs at the tides, he needed to be beside you. genre: smut, fluff, angst word count: 4,626 tags: idol!au, fantasy!au

When Jungkook awoke this morning, something was... different.

He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the air in his room seemed to have shifted slightly. He felt lighter on his feet, a sudden bounce to his step while he pulled himself off of the bed and towards the bathroom.

He brushes his teeth as usual, carefully scrubbing his tongue and admiring his reflection in the mirror. The eyebrow piercing was a good edition, he thinks. It accentuates his high brow and sparkles underneath even the dimmest light. Spritzing himself with cologne, he opens the bathroom door just in time.

"Jungkook, I made breakfast! Hurry up!"

Smiling to himself, he trots down the stairs of the far too large penthouse he and his band mates bought a couple years ago. He doesn't mind sharing with 6 other people, though. Having grown up with no siblings, he enjoys the dynamics at play when he speaks to the members. They're all his brothers, co-workers, family... He couldn't have asked for a better turn out when it came to finding a career path.

Yoongi is standing in the kitchen when Jungkook walks in, the smell of pork and kimchi filling his nose. Thanking his hyung, he grabs a bowl and starts filling up.

"You seem happy this morning," Yoongi raises an eyebrow, "what's going on?"

"I don't know," Jungkook shrugs, "I just woke up in a really good mood. I feel like--" he takes a bit of his food, then speaks with his mouth full, "--something amazing is going to happen today."

"We just have rehearsals?" Yoongi's statement comes off as more of a question.

"Exactly." Jungkook says, continuing to munch on his food. Yoongi looks at the younger man and shakes his head, continuing to fry meat for the rest of the members.

"Hey, did Namjoon come home last night?" Seokjin asks as he walks into the kitchen. He takes a spot beside Jungkook on the counter, reaching into his bowl and grabbing a piece of pork belly. Jungkook attempts to push his hand away but Seokjin smacks it and grabs the meat anyway.

Yoongi shakes his head again, "Nah. He stayed at the studio last night, said something about a last minute inspiration."

Jungkook has noticed Namjoon's lack of attentiveness recently. It seems as though his head is always filled with potential themes and lyrics and beats, much more so than even in the early days of the band. He's curious about his inspiration as of late but Namjoon doesn't seem to want to give away his methods any time soon.

"He's been doing that a lot lately." Jungkook thinks outloud.

"More power to him," Seokjin says, "man works his ass off and it benefits all of us."

Yeah, it definitely does.

~*~*~

"5, 6, 7-"

Hoseok's counting is cut off by the music blasting again. It's the third run through of the new choreography, Jungkook is center and carefully watches the rest of his hyungs in the mirror. He moves to the left, following Hoseok's lead and smiling as he notices a mis-step on Jimin's part. Jimin throws his head back and yells, lifting his shirt up and wiping some of the sweat that's accumulated on his brow.

"It's okay, Jiminie," Hoseok sings, "this shit is hard."

Seokjin nods in agreement, "Yeah, what the hell happened to a laid back choreography for this come back?"

"It's the last one of the year. We gotta go out with a bang." Jungkook turns back to look at Namjoon, who chugs water in the corner of the room. "Speaking of big come backs, are you working on your mixtape?"

Namjoon laughs, "Nah, definitely not. I'm trying to get a couple more songs for the album."

"Don't we have like 14 tracks?" Taehyung speaks for the first time since rehearsal started.

"16 is better than 14." Namjoon smiles, listening to Hoseok as he calls everyone over again.

"One more time. 5, 6-"

It's then that the doors burst open and Hyun enters in. "And this is the rehearsal room containing the 7 men you will be photographing."

Jungkook's eyes travel to the person his manager is talking to, and he has to hold back a gasp. He feels the way his jaw drops, but he's unable to close his mouth while he looks at you. God, you're gorgeous. Your hair cascades down your back and your clothes cling to your body in all the right ways. Jungkook struggles to tear his eyes away, but once he sees your smile he realizes there's no way he can turn away. You're literally glowing, with god-like shining eyes. Who are you?

"Boys, this is _____. She's in charge of photography and will be around to film Bangtan Bombs, behind the scenes, or anything you all want filmed and made into content."

Jungkook repeats your name in his head five times. He whispers it to himself once while everyone else heads to you to shake your hand. Jungkook stands back, finally blinking his eyes.

You step forward after having shook the hands of everyone else, "And you're Jungkook," you smile again, "I like your tattoos. Glad you're finally willing to show them."

"T- tattoos..." Jungkook mutters pathetically as he takes your outstretched hand. You giggle, shaking his hand enthusiastically.

"Well, anyway. It was nice to meet you all. I'm excited to work closely with every one of you." your words are met with a chorus of 'same!' from everyone except for Jungkook.

Hyun puts a hand on your shoulder and leads you out of the room, continuing on the tour of the HYBE building. Jungkook stares after you, the doorway now long empty but he couldn't look away. You were, by far, the most beautiful woman he has ever come across. With your simple torn jeans and black t-shirt, he feels you could pull off anything you put on your body.

It's not until Yoongi speaks does Jungkook finally tear his eyes away, "Could you have been any creepier?"

"What?"

Jimin bursts into laughter, his frustration with the choreography long gone, "You were-" he takes a deep breath in between laughter, "you were staring at her like she was the last woman on the planet!"

"W- what?" Jungkook stammers.

Jimin doesn't respond, only laughing louder as he falls to the ground. Jungkook can see the hidden smirks of the rest of the members, turning his to look at everyone, "What the fuck just happened?"

"Love at first sight?" Taehyung suggests.

"More like love at first drool." Seokjin begins laughing before he even finishes his sentence, causing the rest of the members to groan at his joke.

Jungkook doesn't react to Seokjin though, as he turns to look back at the empty doorway. If love at first sight is a real thing, Jungkook just experienced it to the fullest extent.

~*~*~

Jungkook manages to continue the rest of rehearsal without a problem, except for the way his mind kept traveling back to you. Saying your name in his head again, he washes up in the gym showers. He thinks back to the way your skin seemed to be literally glowing to him, and your bright white teeth hypnotizing him.

Never in his life has he had such a short conversation with someone that had such an impact. He wants to learn everything about you, your passions, the music you like, the books you read. He hopes that you enjoy some of the same things he does, so he has an excuse to talk to you.

Though his interest in you is certainly piqued, he has to keep in mind that you are, essentially, his employee, and fantasizing about your employee is more than inappropriate.

Fantasizing might not be the right word, but he can't help and imagine conversations between the two of you. Your voice is so pretty, it's light but carries through the room. You make sure your presence is known, though with the way you shine you didn't have to try hard. He smiles to himself, closing his eyes and rinsing off the conditioner from hair. Then, he wonders what your hair looks like when it's wet.

Okay, Jungkook. That's enough.

He shakes the water off his head and wraps a towel around his body. Exiting the shower, he realizes he forgot his bag in the dance room and sighs. Checking the time on his phone, he realizes that it's after 9 pm. The odds of anyone other than the members being here is pretty slim so he can just walk his way to the rehearsal room and change in there, right?

Right.

Tightening the towel around his waist, he walks out of the gym bathroom and strolls down the hall. He scrolls through his phone while he walks, rounding the corner and hearing your voice.

"Thank you, Mr. Lee. I'm very excited to properly start tomorrow."

"We're excited to have you," Jungkook peeks his head around the corner and watches Hyun bow to you, "your work is incredible and I know Taehyung in particular loves your shooting style."

What? Taehyung knows her? Jungkook must have missed that earlier when he couldn't stop staring at you.

"Yeah! It still blows my mind that one of the bangtan boys followed my work," you let out a small, somewhat embarrassed giggle, "thank god for Instagram."

You and Hyun share a laugh, followed by a goodbye. Jungkook gasps as he sees you turn in his direction, rushing to a small doorway and pushing himself up against the wall. You can't see him like this, not already. He's nearly naked and he knows this towel isn't big enough to cover himself as well as he should in front of a stranger, so he holds his breath as your foot steps become closer... and closer... and-

"Hey Jungkook."

Fuck.

Jungkook exhales a breath and moves to tighten the towel around his waist even more. You're eyes are not scanning his body like he thought you would be. Of course, Jungkook knows that sounds cocky of him to say but he can't help but assume that that would be the outcome of this situation. Either way, his face still burns when your eyes meet his. Those gorgeous, glowing eyes.

"Were ya hiding?" you laugh, tilting your head to the side, and Jungkook realizes that he's still pressed up against the wall.

"I- I, uh-" come on Jungkook, get it together, "Sorry. I didn't want you to see me naked."

"Oh please. When humans are naked, they're at their purest forms. It's natural, there's nothing to be embarrassed about." you smile brightly, moving a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

Jungkook raises an eyebrow. Your phrasing is odd, but he doesn't question it. Instead, he swallows, "You're right, but I'm sure you wouldn't have been okay with my dick just hangin' out. Neither would the security watching the cameras."

You laugh, a proper laugh that doesn't seem to be masked by something else, and Jungkook realizes it's melodic. A fine tune singing into his ears as one of the most beautiful songs he has ever heard. It's soft, breathy, and makes him want to make you laugh for the rest of eternity.

"Either way," you say after a moment, the hint of humor still in your voice, "nothing to be ashamed of. I'll see you tomorrow, Jungkook."

Jungkook tilts his head, watching you wave and waving back as you carry your feet towards the elevators.

~*~*~

The air was even lighter this morning, and Jungkook can't help but think you play a part in his bright mood.

Following the conversation yesterday, Jungkook walked with a grin on his face to grab his clothes. You're incredibly charismatic, an stark difference to Jungkook's usual shy and laid back personality. Despite your conversations together being minimal, Jungkook feels you and him are going to be close.

Jungkook hops out of bed and styles his hair carefully. Checking his phone as he brushes his teeth, he's received a text from Taehyung apologizing because he had already left. The house sounds still, he remembers Yoongi and Seokjin opted at staying at their respective apartments tonight, wanting to be a little closer to home. Namjoon probably stayed at the studio again and Jimin and Hoseok more than likely left with Taehyung. He shrugs, making a quick protein shake and grabbing a banana before heading out of the door.

As he drives to work, he makes note at how much more productive the members have been these days. Not that they never were, but the usual slump of exhaustion that follows months of continuous promotions, rehearsals, and recording doesn't seem to be hitting anyone this time around. Surely, the explanation is the high everyone is riding from the success of Butter and Permission To dance in the west. It's motivated everyone, including Jungkook himself.

He pulls into the parking garage, rides the elevator up to the 13th floor, and steps off only to be stopped by Hoseok.

"Jungkookie!" Hoseok wraps his arms around Jungkook's neck and squeezes him tight.

"Hoseokie!" Jungkook mocks, giving a pat to the older one's back. Hoseok pulls away with a chuckle, "I guess _____ is doing behind the scene shoots today. Something about wanting to catch us in our element."

"Oh? Like individual shoots?"

"Yeah," he smiles, "she's with Yoongi in his studio right now. She told me to tell everyone to choose a thing they do on a daily basis that might be interesting to see for ARMY."

"Should I work out?" Jungkook smirks. Hoseok rolls his eyes, patting Jungkook's pecs,

"You work out enough." Smiling, he begin walking towards the commons area,

"I'm almost to where I want to be." "Whatever Jungkook, you bully us enough already." Hoseok pats Jungkook's head and walks away, leaving Jungkook to sit on the couches for a moment.

He picks up his phone and scrolls through Weverse and Twitter for a moment. Despite not being as active as people wish he could be, he does keep up with what everyone is talking about. Currently he sees excitement about their online concert from last year coming to DVD, and "JUNGKOOK'S ABS" is trending.

Yeah, he's definitely going to work out for his behind the scenes.

Holding his phone up, he snaps a quick selfie and posts it to Twitter. Once a month seems to be a good formula.

"Jungkook?" Yoongi's voice enters the room, "She's gonna shoot with Namjoon then you."

"Ah," Jungkook stands, "time to get nice and sweaty for ARMY."

"You're such a freak." Yoongi laughs, watching Jungkook leave the room.

Jungkook begins on the treadmill, listening to music and trying not to think about the fact that you're going to be photographing him while he's working out. He feels somewhat dumb, being so incredibly invested in your opinions of him already, but like yesterday proved, there was something about you that drew him in.

He speeds up the treadmill, his calves burning and his breathing quickening while he runs. It's incredible, the feeling of absolute bliss he feels after a run. When his muscles ache and his chest feels clear, he feels most at peace. Though, peace isn't difficult to come across these days. Even with the sadness of not being able to perform live like he wants to, it's not as looming as it was before. It's incredibly exhilarating to wake up not feeling like the end is near. It happened so suddenly, he's not sure what changed.

At the beginning, when they had to cancel the tour and stay in Korea, Jungkook felt as though life was never going to be the same. It was dark for everyone. He remembers Jimin crying in the bathroom after the cancellation, which caused Jungkook to start crying as well. He scrolled through social media for hours, reading the anger and frustration at those who had to return their tickets. It pained him, to see such a bleak view of the fans he adored.

Now that it's been close to 2 years, Jungkook has learned to-- for lack of a better term-- live with it. He wakes up every day and tries his hardest to live, and that's all you can do when your passion in life is ripped away from you due to an ongoing worldwide pandemic.

The gym doors slide open and Jungkook looks in the mirror to see you.

You have a camera around your neck, Jungkook recognizes it as a Canon. You close the door behind you and stop him as Jungkook starts to slow down the treadmill.

"Pretend like I'm not even here." you nearly whisper, and Jungkook has to stop himself from choking on his spit. Your voice sounded almost sultry. He can't tell if that was his imagination or if it was intentional on your part.

Jungkook shakes his head, turning up the speed just a little bit more.

He hears the shutter on your camera clicking, the action setting in full effect as he runs. You move around him, being sure not to get yourself in the mirror of the shots. The only noises in the room are his breathing and the sounds of his feet hitting the runway. It's rough, his chest heaving the more he pushes himself, but he's more interested in the way you seem to float around the room, or the fact that your hands seem dwarfed by the large camera.

It makes him wonder what your hands would look like on him.

A necklace dangles from your neck, it's gold and shines under the lights of the gym. It falls gently into the crevice of your chest, what looks like a golden moon on the end of the chain.

Again, he wonders what your skin would feel like against his.

"You gotta stop looking at the camera." you giggle.

He didn't even realize his eyes were following you. Suddenly, it's like a wave of confidence washes over him. Confidence that he was not ready for.

He swallows, taking a deep breath, "I'm not looking at the camera." Why is he saying this?

"Yes you are," you grin, "I have like 7 pictures in a row of you looking directly at the camera."

"No," he shakes his head, "I'm looking at the person holding the camera." Shut up, Jungkook. Stop talking!

"Oh?" you laugh, "what's catching your eye?"

"The necklace." what the fuck? He basically admitted to staring at your tits!

"The necklace that's right in between my tits?"

He laughs, you snap a picture.

"I guess so, I'm sorry." The usual nervousness that he would feel at an admission like that is non-existent. He feels comfortable enough to talk to you like this, and judging by the way you smile, you're comfortable with it too.

"No need to be sorry," you snap another picture, "I know they draw attention."

Jungkook nods, "They certainly do."

"What do you like about them?"

The question throws Jungkook for a loop but he doesn't let that show.

"They're perky," he explains, stopping the treadmill, "and your shirts show off the perfect amount to leave some to the imagination."

"Ah, so you're imagining my tits?"

"Yes."

You smirk, walking away. For a moment, Jungkook is scared he said too much, but it's very quickly washed away by the sound of the lock turning. "So," you begin, "you're saying that if I took off my shirt, you wouldn't be opposed to looking at me?"

Jungkook shakes his head, "I also wouldn't be opposed to touching you."

"Well," you slip off your shirt, "I'm ready."

Jungkook feels his cock twitch in his gym shorts at the sight of your bra. Of your fucking bra.

Despite the blood rushing to his cock, he shakes his head, "Oh come on, darling. You know that's not enough for me."

"Your shirt first, buddy." your eyes follow Jungkook as he grips the hem of his shirt and pulls it off. Now that there's verbal consent, your eyes roam all over his torso. He's ripped, Jungkook knows this, but under your gaze he feels like a meal. Like he's about to get devoured by you, and he can't say he's not enjoying the idea.

You reach behind you, unhooking your bra and allowing it to fall to the ground.

Jungkook's eyes widen at sight, stepping closer to you and falling to his knees. He places his nose against your torso, inhaling your scent. The sensuality of the small gasp that left your mouth fueled Jungkook. He grabs your hands and pulls you down to his level, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your lips.

It's rough and heated, all teeth and tongue. He's not used to being this way, to feeling almost primal in his movements. He gnaws at your bottom lip, eliciting another moan from you. It's high pitched and nearly whiny, proving that you're suddenly filled with as much need as he is.

"I'm gonna fuck you," Jungkook states, "right here. Right now."

"Please." you toss your head back, falling onto the padded floors of the gym. Jungkook follows suit, kissing his way down your body until he reaches your navel. Again, he presses his nose into you and inhales, you smell so damn good.

He keeps smelling, inhaling your scent as he undoes the buttons of your jeans. The less clothing there, the stronger your scent becomes. He feels insatiable, nearly ripping off your panties to get to your center.

"Fuck, you're so wet already," Jungkook groans, his voice deep with want, with need. Taking a single finger up your slit, he draws it back and sucks your juices clean, "and you taste as good as you smell."

You stare up at him with hooded eyes, holding yourself up on your elbows and spreading your legs as wide as you can. "Now that you've had a taste you might as well finish it."

Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice, diving into your soaked folds with his tongue. He moves fast but also meticulously, being sure to take note of all the places that make you moan a little louder, sink a little deeper into him. Your hand reaches down and snakes its way through his hair, tugging at the roots.

At that point, Jungkook begins to kick off his shorts without pulling away.

"Fuck, I've always wanted to fuck you," you moan in between words, "you always look so good everywhere you go."

"Yeah?" Jungkook chuckles, "did you imagine fucking me before you got hired here?"

You nod, "I couldn't help it, I knew you'd be good."

As Jungkook manages to get his shorts off, he grips ahold of his aching member. Pulling up to his knees, his thumb doesn't stop rubbing harsh circles against your clit.

"That's hot," Jungkook breathes, "I've been wanting to take you since I first saw you."

"Then do it." you demand, and a flip switches in Jungkook's brain.

He pulls his fingers away from you and leans forward, "Taste yourself."

You don't hesitate to take his fingers into your mouth, Jungkook feeling your tongue dance across the pads of his fingers. Feeling himself twitch, he strokes himself for a little bit of relief while you suck.

"Taste good?" He questions.

"Delicious."

"Good girl." He murmurs, leaning down and connecting your lips with his again. As he does so, he runs the head of his cock against your slit, enjoying the gasp you let out every time he brushes against your clit. You feel so warm, so inviting. He can taste you so well, he wants nothing more than to dive in.

So he does.

Pressing into you slowly, he feels your warmth envelope him. Your legs wrap around his hips and guide him in all the way. When he slips all the way in, you both pull away for a moan.

"So fucking good. So tight." He moves his hips achingly slow, enjoying the noises of content leaving your lips. Your moans spur him on as your tightness engulfs him yet again. He leans down and presses a kiss to your neck, your hot skin nearly burning his lips, "I don't want to hurt you."

You shake your head, "You can't hurt me. I promise."

Jungkook isn't sure what takes over him at this point, but he feels his lips begin to thrust harshly into you. He doesn't process the rest of the world, the only thing that's certain is you. You're everything that he needs to focus on now, your whines, your moans, the feeling of your legs guiding him in and out of you. He wants to take you here over and over again until the end of time, and he's never felt that about anyone before in his life.

Your lips are beginning to bruise from the rough kisses he's been laying on you, so he takes a gentle approach and sucks on your jawline. Every few thrusts, he rests his forehead against yours. Then he moves again. Then rests.

"Tell me how good I feel." you whisper against his lips, breathy.

"Baby," Jungkook's brows knit together in pleasure, "you feel so good around me. So warm. I want to cum in you and fill you up so bad. Do-n't stop squeezing- fuck."

Jungkook abandons the pace he tried to keep and slams into you, pulling you on top of him and lifting you up and down on his cock. You let out a scream as he reaches a point he hasn't touched before, your cunt tightening exponentially around him.

He latches his mouth onto your nipples, the sensitive peaks hardening against his tongue. Your nails rake down his chest while you grind against him, your ass smacking against his thighs while he begins thrusting upward.

His hands grip your hips harshly, sure enough to leave bruises by his fingertips. He feels his orgasm approaching quickly, but he needs you to cum first. He need to feel you cum around him. "Fuck," he growls through clenched teeth, "cum. I need you to cum. Cum around me, please please please!"

"I'm gonna- I'm-" your sentence is cut off by your orgasm taking over, clenching deliciously around Jungkook and pushing him over the edge. His hips stutter and he releases into you, your warmth mixing with his as he collapses onto the ground. You're both silent for a while, your chests heaving as you try to calm down. Jungkook leans up, keeping you in a hug as your knees move to either side of his hips. Neither of you make a move to pull apart, Jungkook softening inside of you but the sensitivity feels so good.

He rests his chin on your shoulder, glancing behind you and towards the mirrors. On the inner edge of each of your shoulder blades, lay two large scars. They're old, pink in color now. Jungkook reaches a finger up to trace the scars but is stopped by a knock on the door.

"Hey, I'm ready when you are _____!" Jimin's voice sounds through the gym, muffled by the door.

"Shit." You whisper, "shit, shit, shit!"

You quickly pull off of him, beginning to slip your panties and bra back on.

Jungkook flinches at the sudden loss of warmth around him, looking down at his cock and seeing a mixture of his and your cum coating his thighs. "Don't you need to clean up?" he whispers.

"I'll stop by the bathroom on the way." you murmur, now fully dressed, "thank you for that, by the way." you wink, grabbing the back of his neck and pressing a hard kiss against him. Then, you're out the door.

Jungkook is left naked on the floor, confused, and wanting to ask why exactly you have asymmetrical scars on your back.

#bts x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x reader fluff #jungkook x reader angst #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x you #jeon jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x you

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rainydawgradioblog · 3 years

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YOU’VE NEVER HEARD THIS BEFORE!!!

Because this is my first ever blog post in the entire world, we are gonna keep it all about me. Not about the ins and outs of myself, but what my blog is about, what I will be covering, and the music that has me in a death-grip, white knuckled, choke hold.

You probably aren’t wondering, but I will explain the very small elephant in the room which is my blog name that I hold somewhat close to my heart. Let’s take it back three years ago, the summer before my senior year of high school, when my two best friends and I would drive everywhere together blasting music in my friend's beat-up, hand-me-down Chevy Envoy that we called “the school bus.” A certain song by a man that shall not be named (and should not be streamed in light of recents events), called “SICKO MODE'' dropped, and oh my god did this song take the world by storm. You may not judge me for my enjoyment of this song because it is an obnoxious banger, and I will die on this hill. Anyway, back to the envoy, whenever my two best friends and I were in the car, without a shadow of a doubt, I would ask for the aux about halfway through the drive and tell them “you’ve never heard this song before” and every single time you know what I played? “SICKO MODE”! It worked a few times until finally they understood that every single time I said that, that dumb 5 minute 11 second song came on. From that, birthed one of my greatest jokes of all time: whenever I play a song I know someone has heard before, I give a small smirk and say “oh you’ve never heard this song before”. What makes it even funnier to me, is that it was a mockery of people being possessive and weird about knowing songs they think are “underground and different”. So now I just use it for everything, and thus, my blog name, because you've never heard this stuff before ;)

Now that you have witnessed my awesome story-telling skills, we are diving into the thick of the music I feel has been a huge staple in my life. Later, in weeks to come, look out for my opinions on albums that have recently dropped, what fellow students are listening to (which of course comes with my unwarranted opinion), reviews of shows I attend, and my playlists for the week.

First and foremost, my very first music memory. The album that to this day absolutely blows me away is I and Love and You, released in 2009 by none other than The Avett Brothers. I would give anything to listen to this album for the first time again, to me there is nothing like it. It truly has every single music element that makes my head tingle. I love this album, it is heartbreaking and freeing and healing and funny and poetic and romantic and so on. I have NOTHING but good words for this true masterpiece. Please, if you get anything out of this blog post and miss my funny jokes, listen to this album.

https://open.spotify.com/album/2PPFtYUnnqMYflIEn3b7ON?si=jX9x-8e0SIelxxn4r5OX9w

Skipping further down the timeline of my life, into my adolescent year, we all know this album, we all love it, and it played on my used record player on blast in my room at my grandparents’ house. The 1975 debut album 1975. There was nothing that made me feel more cool than listening to this album on repeat. The best part was making my mom read all the lyrics with me, and to my surprise she was not pleased with me being obsessed with songs about smoking marijuana and shooting up gas stations, but still, I was amazed by the very violent love songs Matty Healy (the front man of the band) could write. He truly had my 13 year old self crying over a heartbreak that had never even happened.

https://open.spotify.com/album/33ZqJmmqFE8Z7Ak1Lxbnfb?si=uP7DRwvHTJS5eTzQBiqNwg

Last but certainly not least, this album found me at probably the most perfect time, which is in the midst of my very first heartbreak. A huge downer I know, but this album makes the pain of a heartbreak, much much worse. Julia Jacklin’s second studio album Crushing is the true epitome of sad girl hours music. Her soft voice and incredibly beautiful lyrics that somehow seem to put every single one of your unknown feelings into words. This is a close second with I and Love and You, I have nothing but good words for this album as well, even though it will quite literally leave me in a puddle of tears the second it starts playing.

https://open.spotify.com/album/4u3aIyQbywYaxgF7TcXuIu?si=boB6rIoGQgSy7YLqX_kTLQ

That is all the vulnerability I can spill out in one day for my fellow dawgs and music lovers. I hope you listen to these albums that have truly made me the music lover I am today. Keep an eye out for more of my silly little opinions in the coming weeks.

Peace out girl scouts!

-abbegayle

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nthngbxtfanfics · 5 years

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Not her - Jooheon scenario

How did I end up in this messed up situation? Why do I have to sit here? Can’t someone actually shoot me?

I was sitting on the floor in the Monsta X dorm. Food displayed all over the table, me leaning against the sofa, between Changkyun and Hoseok. A beer in my hand. All seven of us looked towards the couple in front of us. Jaw slightly dropped open from disbelief.

One of Monsta X’s fierce rappers just introduced his new so-called ‘girlfriend’.

“Congrats, I guess?” started Changkyun to avoid an even more awkward atmosphere. Shownu, who was sitting on the other side of Changkyun, reached his hand out to my jaw and shut my lips together. Not taking his eyes off from the scene in front of him.

“Thank you bro.” Jooheon leaned forward to give his younger friend a fist bump, which Changkyun accepted. All our eyes followed Jooheon as he straightened himself up and threw his arm over his girlfriends shoulder.

“Don’t you have anything to say Y/N?” Jooheon looked straight at me, waiting for encouraging words from me. But before I was able to say anything, I took a sip of my beer and put it back on the coffee table. He anticipated my answer the most, since his eyes started to sparkle and an awaiting smile appeared over his plump red lips. I guess they just made out, before they came here. I parted my lips and let a small breathy sigh escape my lips. By now I noticed how all eyes laid on me.

“What?” I looked around to face everyone around the table.

“Well, congrats!” I answered annoyed at the sudden attention.

“Yah, Y/N! Why can’t you be nicer?” Jooheons lips showed no smile, but rather a poud.

Sulking baby!

I rolled my eyes, making my thoughts obvious without stating them aloud. By now Jooheon should have been able to read my mind and he obviously did. He let a ‘tsk’ out and ignored me shortly and turned his attention to the other six men.

“If you would excuse us? Me and my Girlfriend are going in Hoseok-hyungs room to have some alone time, ok? I would not like to be interrupted. See ya’ll.” Jooheon and his girlfriend leaved the room after his announcement, both having a smirk plastered in their faces.

“Yah Jooheon! Who told you to go in my room? I don’t want you two to have sex in my room! I repeat - not in my room!” Hoseok got ignored by the two lovebirds and sat back down on the floor, frustrated shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth.

“Can someone actually believe, that he brought a girlfriend over?” asked Kihyun.

“I actually thought he would introduce Y/N as his new girlfriend!” I choked on my beer after Minhyuk shared his thoughts.

“I also thought the same and didn’t imagine, him bringing a complete stranger into our dorm.” Hoseok agreed

“Well, ..” Changkyun got interrupted by some noise coming from the other side of the wall. You could easily recognize the sounds of moans and screaming. All heads turned towards the wall behind the sofa.

“This punk! I told him ..” Wonho interrupted himself, giving up from continuing to argue with himself.

I turned my head back to the table and looked down on my lap, fiddling with the can in my hands. Kihyun noticed my action.

“Y/N, I feel so bad for you should I give him a lecture?” asked Kihyun worried.

Kihyun was one of the first people who knew about my crush on Jooheon, heck he noticed it before I even knew about it myself. The others followed behind me after I talked with him many times. The other members noticed that me and Kihyun spend a lot of much time together, just talking. To an extend that they thought we were dating. After Hyungwon asked the both of us that burning question, we both were fast to clear up the misunderstanding, followed by my confession about my crush on their rapper. And of course did my crush go unnoticed by one certain person called Lee Jooheon. He didn’t even bothered when this rumor about me and Kihyun circulated through the dorm, he seemed as if he didn’t cared at all. But I’m glad that he doesn’t know about my feelings for him, I don’t want to ruin the friendship between us. We had so many obstacles to reach the level we are now and I don’t want to throw all away , just because my heart made this stupid decision to fall in love with him.

“Thank you, but I think it won’t help. What are you gonna tell him? - Hey Jooheon you have to break up with your girlfriend, cuz Y/N is in love with you?” I asked him in return. Kihyun nodded, agreeing that this is not an approach he can easily make. I took the last sip of beer that was still inside of it. I forced myself up to grab myself a new cold can of beer, out of the fridge and rejoined the others in the living room. When I passed Hoseoks door, I could hear the noise clearly and stood there for a few seconds with my eyes glued on the door.

I snapped out of my thoughts after I heard Minhyuk calling out my name.

“Y/N, can you bring me one too?” I turned my head towards him and nodded, grabbing the new can with my other hand. Passing the door as fast as I could. I held his beer right next to his head he bid me a small thanks and took the can out of my hand. I rounded the table towards Hoseok to go back onto my place. I made the great decision to turn my butt towards Hoseoks face.

“Y/N I didn’t knew you’ve been working out.” Hoseok leaned back and thought it would be funny to smack my ass.

“Yah! Lee Hoseok!” I flashed my head towards him, holding my hands over the touched area. Heat running up my cheeks and turning pink. Hoseok looked at my face and his loud laugh erupted to fill the room. I stood frozen in front of Hoseok, processing the situation. Then I felt another hand on my free butt cheek which has not been tormented.

“Y/N-ssi, your ass really does look good though, next time you work out. Take me with you.” Changkyun chuckled keeping his hand where he reached for, squeezing it a little.

“True, take me with you too.” Hoseok agreed after recovering from his hysterical laughing.

“But Hyung, your ass is fine enough. Changkyun is the one who need some more juice in there” stated Minhyuk. Everyone started laughing and Changkyun acted offended. Putting his hand over his heart, mouth wide open. Even I couldn’t hold back my giggle and sat back down between the two.

We continued to laugh and talk about random stuff throughout the night. Ignoring the noises from the other room. By now the most of us got pretty drunk except for Hoseok, Kihyun and Hyungwon. Some of us acted wasted, other were more put together like Shownu he seems like he can handle a pretty good amount of alcohol.

But here we are, Minhyuk and I clinging onto eachother singing, while trot music was blasting through the speakers as loud as possible. Changkyun is almost falling asleep on Shownus shoulder mumbling something to himself. The others were cheering me and Minhyuk on, shouting their self made fanchant towards us. The Music switched from trot to the most recent hits, girlgroup songs were definitely on the list. Me and Minhyuk tried to dance to the choreography of Gashina by Sunmi.

Let’s say it that way, we failed miserably.

The others couldn’t hold back their laughter and watched. Especially when we tried the moves in a seductive way. We ended up in each others arms, almost falling. We parted our ways again and kept on dancing and singing. At some point we were going off and head banged when the music changed to some hiphop. Hoseok joined us, together we started moving and rapping. I couldn’t even say one word the right way, only gibberish came out of my drunk lips. We went so hard that my and Minhyuks head collided in some kind of way. Resulting in us laying on the floor laughing our asses off. The whole room erupted with laughter.

A pair walked in to the living room, watching the situation unfold, looking around the room confused . Jooheon was searching for a face to look at, so he could question what happened. He decided to walk up to the speakers and turned off the music. Everyone wasn’t pleased after the loss of music. Jooheon walked up to me, who was still laying on the floor.

“You should go to bed Y/N, you’re completely wasted.” Jooheon slung his arms under my armpits to pick me up, I whined not wanting to leave the comfort of the floor. I felt someone tugging onto my legs, it was Minhyuk.

“Jooheonie ~ let go of Y/N we had so much fun right now. You can’t take her away!” Minhyuk tried to keep me on the floor. My body felt limp, I don’t wanted to go to bed, not yet. Jooheon tried to pull me away from his friend. He started this kind of habit of taking care of me when I’m drunk. We drank together a lot, he knows how I am when I’m drunk and I know how he is when he’s the wasted one. Jooheon doesn’t like it when I’m getting completely drunk, because I tend to cling on someone random and become really needy. My hormones start to go crazy and Jooheon always tries to avoid me getting with someone I don’t know, he becomes extremely protective over me.

His girlfriend stood by the door watching the situation unfold, she wasn’t amused by the fact that her boyfriend went straight to me.

Kihyun jumped up from his spot to help me stand up and took me out of Jooheons grip. Hoseok took care of Minhyuk and helped him towards the couch.

“Why did you let Y/N drink so much?” asked Jooheon annoyed.

“Jooheon she’s a grown up woman she can do whatever she wants.” Hyungwon defended me and walked over to the kitchen to grab two glasses of water. After Hyungwon returned and handed Minhyuk his glass of water. He turned towards our direction and gave me the other glass. I slided down against Kiyhuns body, sitting on the floor knees in front of my chest. Kihyun stood still, supporting my back. Jooheon looked down at me with an annoyed expression, the other two men followed his gaze and looked back up to watch Jooheons face. He kept his gaze on me until his girlfriend called out his name. His attention went straight to her abandoning me on the floor.

I took a sip of water, my dry throat was relived and happy about the moisture. After finishing my glass of water, Hyungwon sat down right in front of me and took it out of my hand.

“OK, Y/N I’ll bring you to bed.” Kihyun helped me stand up and Hyungwon supported my other side, both walked me towards Hoseoks bedroom. Since they always let me sleep in there when I sleep over at the dorm. When we reached the closed-door, both men froze and debated with eachother if they should let me sleep in that room after what happened there a few moments ago. Both decided against it and walked me to the other room, where Minhyuk, Jooheon and Shownu were sharing currently. They laid me down onto Jooheons bed, since they assumed that he’ll sleep with his girlfriend in Hoseoks room. I fell flat on my stomach, face in his pillow. I inhaled deeply, taking in his scent and falling asleep immediately. Kihyun sighed and walked towards the side of the bed. He debated with himself if he should let me sleep in my clothes or change me in something more comfortable.

“We should change her clothes, she can’t just sleep in those tight pants. She might throw up at night. And those won’t help one bit.” Stated Hyungwon, Kihyun nodded to the suggestion.

“Then go grab something we can change her into.” demanded Kihyun. As Hyungwon was about to leave, came Hoseok together with a passed out Minhyuk through the door frame. He threw the drunk man onto his bed, not caring about his comfort. He walked straight to my passed out form.

“I’m about to head and grab her some clothes. Do you have anything maybe?” Hyungwon turned to Hoseok.

“You can look in my room, there must be a shirt she can wear. My clothes would look pretty oversized on her.” Hoseok turned his upper body towards Hyungwon to instruct him, where he could find the items. Hyundwon went out of the room to grab the stuff and returned fast.

“OK Y/N let’s get you out of these clothes. Hyung help me turn her around.” Wonho walked to the other side of the bed after Kihyun instructed him what to do. As Kihyun was about to pull my shirt over my chest, Jooheon bursted into the room, a bit mad.

“What are you thinking you’re doing?” questioned Jooheon.

“We are trying to change Y/N into some more comfier clothes.” Hoseok defended their innocent act.

“Who told you you could do that? And why is she in my bed? Isn’t she supposed to be in your room?” Jooheon turned his attention to Hoseok, who looked at him confused.

“We thought that you and your girlfriend are going to sleep in Hyungs room” Hyungwon tried to clear the misunderstanding.

“No, I never said that she’s sleeping over. I just brought her home, since Y/N is here.” fired back Jooheon, clearly annoyed at the situation.

“Sorry for that unpleasant misunderstanding. Then we’ll bring her to Hoseoks room. Y/N ~ wake up we’ll bring you somewhere else ok? You can continue sleeping there ok?” Kihyun tried his best to wake me up and not startle me at the same time. I couldn’t open my eyes or even say a word. All I did was groan as a respond. Hoseok and Kihyun pulled me up and dragged me towards the said room, Hyungwon followed us with clothes in his hands. Jooheons gaze followed us leaving the room. We walked into the room, Hoseok saw his room for the first time this night and it was messy. Even more messy before he left it. All three stood in the middle of the room frozen and examining our surroundings. Hoseoks covers and pillow laid in a corner of the room, used condoms laid on the bed and on the floor. They definitely did it a few times, cum and other questioning fluids stained the bed. The room smelled like sweat, unpleasantly to sleep in.

Hoseok got frustrated and mad at the younger one, for not cleaning up behind him and letting the mess behind. Kihyun was too disgusted to lay me down onto the bed.

“I feel like Y/N shouldn’t sleep in here.” Hyungwon stood in the doorway judging the room. Hoseok snapped his head towards the man in the doorway, annoyance clearly marking over his facial expression.

“What about me?” asked Hoseok.

“You can clean it up later, but she needs a place to sleep in” fired back Hyungwon. Kihyun was thinking of a place he could put me in, since I got pretty heavy after every passed minute.

“Let’s lay her on my bed, I actually have a big bed. We both can sleep on it and if something happens I’ll be there to help her.” After Kihyun stated his idea, they made their way towards their room and laid me on the said bed. Instantly, the smell of freshly washed covers filled my nose and I sighed with relief. They changed me into one of Hoseoks shirts and tugged me into bed. Hoseok actually stayed in the room, he refused to sleep in his messy room, he laid in bed with Hyungwon and Changkyun was long asleep on his own bed. Kihyun made himself ready and laid down himself, keeping some distant between us. Not too long and everyone in the dorm was fast asleep.

I woke up with the biggest headache I’ve ever had and a first unfamiliar environment, but soon recognized the room. I couldn’t remember anything from the night before. I looked around the room and saw another bed next to where I was. I noticed a passed out man laying on it, it didn’t took me long to say that it was the Maknae. Suddenly a sharp pain went through my head, I let a deep groan escape my lips. That resulted in Changkyun waking up and moving under his covers.

“Morning.” He turned his head towards me, his whole body except for his head were under a blanket. Humming in response, my eyes closed again.

“We got pretty wasted last night. Huh?” his chuckle low and his voice deeper and raspier than ever. Both of us started to laugh until we both got punished with yet another sharp pain through the head and stopped laughing. After some time, Changkyun and me made our way towards the living room.

“Well, Y/N-ssi that shirt is pretty short though, whose is it?” I stopped walking and turned around to look at my behind, Changkyun looked me up and down, until I turned fully around and flicked his forehead. He immediately regretted his words and let out a small “Sorry~”. You reached the living room, where four men were sitting around, hungover and eyes glued onto the TV.

“Oh hey Y/N! Have you slept well?“ Hyungwon was the first to notice us.

“Good morning to you too Hyung.” Changkyun sat down onto the floor, infront of Shownus legs.

“I slept like a rock and I have a big headache, but I guess I’m fine.” I stated.

“To prevent a headache, you should’ve not drank that much last night.” Jooheon sat on the other side of the couch, his eyes glued onto his phone screen. I ignored his nagging and turned my attention back to Hyungwon.

“And how come you’re awake that early?” Hyungwon chuckled at my confused state.

“It’s not morning Y/N it’s almost afternoon. We are all awake for a long time now.” I smiled and laughed a little about the fact, that I was sleeping almost the whole day. I looked around and noticed some members missing.

“Where are Hoseok and Kihyun?” I threw my question into the room and waited for an answer.

“ Hoseok is working out and Kihyun is making dinner.” Shownu answered my question not looking away from the TV screen. I decided to go to the kitchen to accompany Kihyun. I saw the said man standing in front of the stove. The smell of food went straight through my nostrils, loosing myself in the smell. I let out a small sigh. Kihyun noticed my presence and turned towards me.

“Oh hi Y/N, have you been sleeping well?” Kihyun turned back to the dish and stirred it. I Hummed in response and walked closer to him.The smell of the dish becoming stronger and my stomach responding to it.

“Wait a little, I’m almost done and we can eat. You can go get Hoseok and tell him that dinner is almost done.” After Kihyun finished his sentence, I waited a few seconds and made my way towards the self-made gym room.

As expected, Hoseok was working out. He noticed my presence and turned his head towards me. “You’re awake! Wanna work out?” He stopped his exercise.

“As much as I’d loved to, I might pass for today, too hungover to actually lift a my own arm. -” Hoseok chuckled at my remark.

“Kihyun said that dinner is almost ready and I’m here to tell you that.” I finished my sentence. Hoseok stood up and walked towards me.

“I didn’t knew that my shirt would be that short on you.” He stood in front of me and let out a low chuckle. My face instantly turned red, Hoseok was always able to make me flustered.

“Th-That’s your shirt? Did you change my clothes?” I asked, still flustered.

“Yeah, Me and Kihyun actually, we don’t wanted you to sleep in your own clothes. Hyungwon don’t wanted you to throw up around the whole place.” Hoseok walked past me towards the living room.

“Are you coming or not?” I got startled and followed right behind him. We reached the living room and I noticed that Jooheon was still on his phone, not taking his eyes off of it and smiling like a mad man. A sharp pain went through my heart instead of my brain, the thought of him loving someone else was painful. But I tried my best not to show any sign.

Kihyun called for us to sit down and eat, Minhyuk, Shownu and I helped Kihyun to put everything on the table. While we were all eating, I noticed from the corner of my eye, that Jooheon was still on his phone and stuffing food into his mouth. Jealousy filled my guts and I tried to ignore it. Kihyun noticed who I was watching and cleared his throat to get the rappers attention.

“Jooheon, please put your phone away, were eating.”

Jooehon looked up to Kihyun annoyed and laid his phone to the side. His gaze landed on me, he noticed my attire.

“Y/N whose shirt is that?” attention now on me.

“ Hoseoks, why?” I stated sassy, the jealousy speaking in me.

“Why are you wearing it? Don’t you have your own clothes?” Jooheon snapped back, more annoyed by now.

“Why do you care? I can wear the clothes of whoever I want. You’re not my dad nor my boyfriend. So mind your own business.” The jealousy being replaced by anger now.

“I’m not your boyfriend, but your best friend. And I care about you like a little sister. Here are six other men, you don’t know what goes on on their minds.” his voice got more stern than before. The word sister shot like an arrow through my chest.

“Why are you so pissed? Nothing happened to me!” At this point I didn’t cared about the people around me.

“Yah, both of you stop now. We are eating. If you wanna fight please do it outside.” Kihyun was pissed and stopped the fight before it escalated.

“Thank you for the meal.” I stood up right away, leaving the table.

“Y/N-ssi!” Hoseok tried to stop me from leaving.

“Yah! These are too short, change now! Y/N!” Jooheon saw my outfit on full display. The shirt went up a little, revealing a small part of my red lacy panties and the underline of my butt cheeks. I ignored his remark and walked straight to the room, where my clothes laid perfectly folded on a chair. I changed my clothes and heard how Kihyun and the others lectured Jooheon.

I don’t understand why he has to be so annoying and protective, he has a girlfriend now. He should care about her not me. It hurts enough to know that he loves someone else.

Why does he has to terrorize me?

After I finished changing my clothes and grabbed my stuff. I walked past the group of boys and was about to head back home. The boys were calling after me, but I walked out of the dorm and out of the building, taking the next bus to my place. I turned off my phone, too mad to talk with anyone.

When I reached my place, I took a quick shower and went straight to bed. The hangover still present in my brain.

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hwas-housewife · 5 years

Text

Ghost of You

Yoongi x Reader; past relationship!

Words: 3.1k

Summary: Yoongi finds himself recollecting memories of when he and Y/N were still together.

Warnings: lots of alcohol/alcoholism, mentions of sex

A/N: this fic was strongly influenced by 5 Seconds of Summer’s “Ghost of You”. I would like to quote Ashton from 5SOS to give you a main message from the song if you don’t listen to it, “Ghost of you reminds me that when someone loves you, it is a gift, that can heal & rebirth a tired soul. [it] reminds me to never take love for granted again.” Highly recommend listening to the song. Anyway, this is something that I got inspired to do when I was sulking one day listening to some old music, so I hope you enjoy~

~~~~~~~

Yoongi turned over in his king sized bed, the light cascading through the black curtains stirring him from his slumber. He nuzzled further into his dark sheets, covering his face with his blanket. It was useless, Yoongi knew. He hasn’t been able to sleep well for the past three months.

Since you left.

He would definitely be bothered less by the morning light if he just slept on the other side of the bed, shielded from the window. But, he couldn’t bring himself to slide over. The dim room doesn’t hide the fact that your sleeping figure isn’t right there, next to him.

You haven’t slept on your side of the bed since the night before you gathered all of your belongings and disappeared from his life forever.

Even still, he can’t just roll over onto your side. It doesn’t even smell like you now.

“Why did you wash them, Y/N? It doesn’t even smell like you now,” Yoongi’s voice whined at you when he saw you making their bed. You turned around to face your boyfriend’s pouting face after fitting the sheet on the last corner of the bed.

“Yoongi, these things haven’t been washed in at least two weeks. I think you can survive if they don’t smell like me for a few days.”

He just huffed and pouted in response to your comment, arms crossed over his chest as he stood in the doorway to the bedroom.

“Seriously, you’re gonna pout over me washing the sheets?”

Silence yet again.

Despite your boyfriend’s little tantrum, you were smiling. He knew you had a soft spot for his whiney voice and pouty lips. You walked over to him, wrapping your arms around Yoongi in hopes of softening him up.

“If it troubles you that much that they don’t smell like me, we can just lay in bed for the rest of the day. Maybe watch a movie, or listen to music?”

You kissed his pouting lips, a mischievous smile gracing your face.

“Or, you know, I could just go spend the night at my parent’s place if you’re really that upset with me”

You released your hold on your boyfriend and began to walk past Yoongi. But before you could take another step, Yoongi lifted you up by your waist, pulling you over to the bed, where he plopped your smiling figure down on.

Yoongi was quick to grab the comforter from the laundry basket and cover the two of you up with it. You continued to smile as he tangled himself in your limbs.

“Let’s stay here for a while,” Yoongi buried his head in your hair.

He sat up, giving up entirely on sleep now that you’re the only thought on his mind. Yoongi shoved the covers off of him and stood up. Sweeping his eyes over the master bedroom, the only thing he was met with was a cold sadness. The bedroom has remained almost entirely untouched, and half empty since your absence. Yoongi hasn’t been motivated to fill the room with ornaments that would distract from you.

He walked out into the rest of the apartment. You had loved the open floorplan when the two of you had first toured this place. But now, it leaves Yoongi reminded of why you two moved in here.

There were a few odds and ends that littered the apartment with little reminders of you. You left too quickly to actually grab everything, not to mention you didn’t realistically own enough suitcases and bags to stuff more than the necessities before Yoongi could stop you from leaving.

Not to say that he didn’t at least try to.

His legs brought him into the disheveled kitchen. If you were to see the amount of dishes and half-eaten instant ramen cups that littered the counter, you would have probably had a panic attack on sight. But why would he wash the dishes that you once ate out of? Especially when your mug still contained a faint stain from when you were so anxious that you forgot you applied lipstick and went to take a sip.

One could say Yoongi almost cracked a smile at the thought.

“Oh shoot, Yoongi I forgot I have lipstick on,” you pulled your favorite white mug away from your lips to survey the amount of transfer you allowed to happen. You sighed and set down the mug, seeing the visible lipstick stain now on display.

“Yoongi, I can’t do this. I can’t even remember that I’m wearing lipstick, how am I supposed to remember my entire master’s project?”

At the sound of your panicked voice, Yoongi walked over to you. His hands rested upon your shoulders, rubbing comforting patterns into your covered skin.

“Well, to start, you never wear lipstick so that would be easy to forget.”

“I also never give a presentation in front of a few hundred people about only the entire thing I want to commit the rest of my life to,” your sassy remarks have always given you a rise out of Yoongi.

Your boyfriend scoffed at you.

“You also realize that because this means so much to you, and because you’ve spent literal weeks rehearsing it, that it is actually impossible for you to forget?”

Acknowledging your unrealistic panic, you nodded at Yoongi, “I know, I’m just really nervous.”

You shook out your clammy hands and gave Yoongi probably the tenth hug this morning. He hugged you back, leaving a kiss on the crown of your head.

“You’re gonna kill this, babe. I know you will,” you both let go of each other and the reluctance and nervousness on your face were clear. Yoongi began to usher you towards the door

“Now you need to leave before you’re late, or worse, decide to ditch it altogether and stay here all day eating ice cream.”

“Hey, that doesn’t sound all too ba--” Yoongi cut you off with a kiss, bidding you goodbye for the day.

He turned around, searching for his only solace nowadays. Yoongi’s eyes locked on to what would be his one true comfort in life, what would always be there for him through the good and the bad: alcohol.

When you first abandoned your guys’ life together, Yoongi had relied on hard liquors to, well, cope. Preferably, he would drown out his sorrows in a bottle of whiskey until he wasn’t able to recollect anything from the past twelve hours. Days quickly melted into each other as he carried out a vicious cycle of waking up hungover, puking his guts out, and then drank until his body went numb and his vision grew hazy.

It was only when, one day, a pair of Yoongi’s closest friends woke him up with a bowl of freezing cold water splashed on his face that he realized what he was doing. Jimin and Hoseok were concerned for him, and he felt like an absolute jerk for worrying them.

He cut back on the alcohol. His friends expressed their utmost pride in his ability to power through another bad breakup. But, you weren’t just another bad breakup. And the memories of you quickly returned and he remembered why he drank in the first place.

To avoid sending Jimin and Hoseok into another frenzy, Yoongi’s drinking habits were altered. He dedicated less time to completely forgetting, and ended up spending more time sulking. One could argue that such actions were no better, but it made his friends happier to see at least his liver was doing decent.

So he would spend days like this, where he felt even more melancholic, attempting to suppress you with a bottle of wine. Cheap wine, to clarify. Yoongi only ever drank good, or at least decent wine, for times of celebration. Cheap wine was not only a way Yoongi knew he was going through a rough patch, but also so he could suffer through his pain physically with every dry sip.

His hand grasped the neck of the bottle, peeling the cap off of the wine. Once the bottle was open, he tossed his head back and gulped the sinful beverage down. The glass bottle settled on to the counter with a resounding clank as Yoongi’s hands weren’t the most stable at the moment.

The sigh of relief was the only sound Yoongi made as he turned on his heels to get a proper overview of the living room.

You were in the middle of dancing around the living room, narrowly avoiding the corner of your smokey grey couch as one of Yoongi’s newest songs blasted through the tv’s speakers.

Your body carried you to where Yoongi was, standing in the middle of the kitchen watching you across the open apartment. Earlier, the two of you cracked open a bottle of wine to celebrate his newest success and your most recent conclusion to a lengthy school project. To say you both were a bit tipsy would not be an inaccurate claim.

“C’mon Yoongi, dance with me!” Your overzealous comment made elicited a gentle smile from your boyfriend’s beautiful features.

Before you gave him a chance to properly respond, you grasped his hand in your very own, dragging him between the tv and couch. You began moving your body to the beat of the song, as well as you could while lacking proper coordination.

“Yoongi--” you began to repeat your request from before but were promptly cut off.

Your boyfriend grasped your hand back, gently, and pulled you flush against his chest.

“Oh,” your face began to turn pink due to the alcohol and Yoongi’s actions, “well, uh, hi.”

His face lit up endearingly, adoring your soft voice and the love in your eyes.

“Hello, darling.”

You melted at his velvety voice, drinking in his facial features as your heart swelled with love for him. For Yoongi. With both arms secured at your waist, he began to slowly rotate you around the living room. It suddenly didn’t matter that the song was upbeat and nothing like a slow dance, the two of you were concentrated only on what the other was doing.

Your arms were draped over his shoulders as you buried your head in his chest. Your head rose to look up at your boyfriend, but moving your feet and head at the same time proved difficult. In an instant, you lost your footing and the two of you haphazardly tumbled to the ground, Yoongi lying on top of you.

The two of you shared eye contact with each other before bursting into giggles over the whole situation.

“I love you, Yoongi. Despite how heavy you are when you fall on me,” your smile didn’t falter once as you stared up at him.

“I love you too, Y/N. Even when you trip me.”

Yoongi shook his head, hoping to somehow lose the thoughts of the both of you drunkenly dancing on more than one occasion. His heavy feet carried him through the kitchen, stopping at the edge of the couch.

He flopped his body onto the couch, lying face down into the soft smoky-colored cloth. He wished that he could just forget the relationship, forget who you were.

He loved your smile, so much. And he loved how you would beg him to dance with you once you were a few drinks in. Despite when sober you claimed you hated dancing. You were a clumsy drunk, he discovered that before the two of you even began dating. But you were also a loving drunk. You would pout when he didn’t give you enough attention or when he would tease you, and as much as he worshipped your smile, he couldn’t help but adore your pout.

But you walked out on him. You left him heartbroken and alone in your shared apartment. And as much as he tried to blame you for it, he just couldn’t. Yoongi told himself that you made the choice to leave him.

If only that was true. He really didn’t give you much choice if he were being realistic. And with the way his body was tingling, he was absolutely being realistic. That’s another thing cheap wine seems to do to him. The less Yoongi can feel physically, the more he begins to realize what is going wrong in his life. Especially where he’s at fault.

And he was surely at fault for this whole situation.

Yoongi rotated his body so he could stare up at the blank white ceiling above him. Regret pooled in his stomach, making him feel nauseous. He regretted what he did to you. How he made you feel. How he didn’t stop you.

It really was all his fault.

At times like these, the silence became too much. It felt too suffocating, like the day you left.

Tears brimmed your eyes as you asked him once more.

“Did you cheat on me?”

The silence that followed was all the answer you needed, and you scoffed. You were stood there, mere feet away from the entrance to the apartment, dressed in an old band t-shirt and an old pair of joggers. You were stood there, mere feet away from walking out on Yoongi for the rest of his life.

All he had to do was say no and you would drop your bags and run into his arms apologizing. But Yoongi’s silence suffocated you as a wave of shame and disgust washed through your body.

“I am such an idiot,” you whispered in hatred as the tears finally raced down either side of your face. As quickly as they came, you were brushing them off as you collected your thoughts.

“Why?”

Yoongi finally looked up at you, snapping his head to stare at you and respond with questioning glance.

“Why did you do it?” Your voice broke as you choked down a sob.

He cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the entire situation.

“Well, it’s not like it’s easy going from hooking up with whoever I want to being in a relationship. And you didn’t really make it easy, either,” his hand scratched the back of his neck as he casually responded.

You suddenly became more interested in the ground between the two of you, rather than staring back at your boyfriend.

“So you cheated on me because I didn’t have enough sex with you?”

Your voice suddenly became devoid of emotion, and your tears stopped falling. You were closing yourself off from Yoongi, trying to protect yourself in any way possible.

“Well, I mean, it’s not like you were going to hook up with me if we weren’t dating. I, just, didn’t realize you were gonna take that long,” Yoongi looked uncomfortable revealing his intentions, and tried to gauge your emotions, deciding to continue, “You were a challenge, and not like the other girls who wanted to hook up and forget the next day. As wrong as it was, I made it my goal to have you. I was gonna break up with you before you got too attached after it happened, and before you try to say otherwise, I really was gonna do it. I had a planned day and everything. But then I got to know you more, and Y/N I love you. Really. I love you.”

Hearing those few words that you once cherished felt like the final straw. You took a deep inhale, preparing for your next words.

“No, you never loved me, Yoongi. You used this relationship as a method to get what you wanted. You manipulated me. Was any of it ever real to you?” your eyes were fixated back on his own. If he were to take anything away from this, to feel any sort of regret, it was gonna be from your last words, “You know I loved you. I loved you like I’ve never loved anyone else before. Hell, Yoongi I thought I was gonna marry you. Even though I was the last person on the entire planet to figure out that you lied to me, at least I didn’t end up actually marrying you.”

With that being said, you turned and walked straight to the door. Opening up the dark mahogany wood, you didn’t glance back as you walked through the entrance one final time.

That was Yoongi’s least favorite memory of you, he had to admit. Crying didn’t suit you, especially when he was the cause of it. But he couldn’t lie to you when you asked him that question after he had tried to talk to you as you rushed around the apartment packing a couple of bags.

And as difficult as it was to watch you fall apart, part of him wanted to see you break right in front of him. Yoongi deserved to at least see the pieces he smashed your relationship into.

He was an idiot back then, too stupid to know how well he had it before you slipped right out of reach. To be fair, he did love you. Yoongi loved you despite him only dating you for a quick fix.

It was going to be a few days before your birthday that he planned on ending it. He didn’t care that it would probably ruin your birthday, he didn’t care about you. Yoongi got what he wanted out of the relationship, there was nothing more that he needed from you.

But as you sat there with him, at a random little cafe near your college, he couldn’t do it. He sat down with you for hours as you ranted about your professor and the upcoming projects and how you were looking forward to seeing him because he always made you happy, no matter how bad your day was.

Those words. Those darn words. Yoongi has never made someone that happy. No ex-girlfriend, boyfriend, significant other had ever said that to him and it resonated. He didn’t break up with you that day, or the next. It took a while of internal conflict, but eventually, something within him changed.

He did cheat on you. He did it multiple times, in fact. With multiple different people. But once he realized that there could be something good from you, something he might actually like, he stopped. Why couldn’t you see that?

It doesn’t matter now. You left him and there was no way you would ever come back into his life willingly. Yoongi could text you. He still had your number, and you never block people. But you wouldn’t open it. You might have gotten a new number, and even if you didn’t you would just clear the message.

You were always more passive and positive than him, and that gives him all the reassurance that you most definitely have forgotten him and moved on to something bigger and brighter. He hopes you moved on to someone bigger and brighter.

#bts #bts angst #yoongi #yoongi angst #suga #suga angst #jimin #j-hope #hoseok #yoongi x reader #suga x reader #svt-mangos #namjoon #taehyung #jungkook #jin

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fresh-outta-jams · 5 years

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Can You Hear Me?- Part 5

Johnny x Reader Author: MoRo

Prompt: Oooh okayy, I’d like to request some Johnny fluff please? Like maybe a soulmate au

Summary: You were unconcerned about soulmate things because getting it was the end of your final year in collage and time was counting down until graduation. But what happens when your soulmate suddenly appears right before your finals exams and it turns out he’s been there for much longer than you knew? Having your soulmate in your head was not something you needed but the more you get to know him, the more you appreciate him being there. College!Johnny x reader

Note: ALMOST THERE EVERYONE!! Warnings: More flufffff Word Count: 1.7ish

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9

"Finally..." You breathed out with a sigh of relief as the last exam leaves your fingertips.

Now it was finally break and not a moment too soon. You were bursting at the seams to see your soulmate.

"It's noon, you should be done with your exam by now. Soooo how did it go? Did you do amazing as always? I bet because you're basically a genius." Johnny bursts into your head talking a mile a minute.

Speak of the devil.

You laugh at him and stretch your arms as you walk back to your apartment to pack. "I dunno. I felt like I did decent but we'll see in a few days once grades get posted."

"Lemme know how you do?" He asks gently.

"Of course." You respond back. You found it really sweet how invested Johnny was in your education. He was like your own personal cheerleader, constantly rooting for you on the sidelines and always giving positive words of encouragement. Somedays you felt like you didn't deserve him.

You can feel the warmth of Johnny's smile as he says, "Thank you babe." Then he hops to the next topic. "Have you eaten yet?"

Reaching for your building's door knob, you twist it open. "No not yet. I was too nervous. But I'll eat after I pack with Maeve. I need to say goodbye to her before I leave for home." You let him know your plans before he can mother hen you for not eating. He was also VERY invested in your health, both physical and mental.

"Ahh okay good. Make sure you eat." He says in a caring tone before gasping. "Oh snap, my exam is in like 10 minutes. Gotta go babe. I'll talk to you after if you have time?"

You nod as you pull your suitcase out and begin to fold things to pack. "Of course, you know where I'll be. Good luck on your exam! Do great!" You send him a feeling of encouragement down the bond.

He chuckles softly. "Thanks baby. I love you." Then he's gone.

In two weeks you'll see Johnny. Johnny Seo. Your soulmate. Your boyfriend too technically. Two weeks. You couldn't wait.

Now that you didn't need to focus anymore for finals, your mind was all over the place never being still. You watched one of his YouTube videos every night and fell asleep with the image of his handsome face on your eyelids. You couldn't wait to hug him and touch him and kiss him.

Clutching the shirt to your chest, you squealed a little.

"Well someone is happy." A voice outside of your head makes you open your eyes. It was your best friend.

"Maeve! You're done with your exam already?" You try to change the subject as heat creeps into your cheeks and tips of your ears making you red.

Maeve laughs at your weak attempt. "Yeah, I finished early. It wasn't too hard." She gestures to your red cheeks. "Johnny say something?"

You laugh her comment and fold the shirt you were previously clutching to your chest. "No he's taking an exam right now. I'm excited because break is here and I can finally go see him." You smile brightly at your friend.

She shakes her head and smiles back at you. "My Lord you are head over heels for him." You can feel your cheeks heating back up.

"Is it that obvious?"

Maeve plops down on your bed, laughing as she messes up some of your folded piles. "Like the sun shining Y/N."

"This looks good on you though." She gestures at you with a hand. "You seem healthier actually. Like there's more color in your skin and you don't look dead everyday." Maeve squeals as you throw a shirt at her.

"Hey now! What's that supposed to mean!?" You tease her.

Shielding her face from another attack, Maeve speaks from the shelter of her arms. "I mean, like you look like you're eating regularly now and sleeping more." She throws the shirt back at you.

Catching it, "I guess you're right. He reminds me to eat and to sleep more when I get in those moods where I'm so focused. Johnny's kind of like an alarm clock in my head but like one I can't snooze or ignore." You explain while folding the shirt back up.

Maeve sits up and laughs. "Did you just call your soulmate an alarm clock?"

"I guess I did." You laugh with her. When she says it, it sounds funny.

Picking up a pile of clothes, you lay it down in your suitcase and repeat until the suitcase is full. Maeve stays the whole time updating you on her exams, her soulmate, and how much she's going to miss you over break.

After dinner with Maeve, you give her a hug goodbye and promise to text her when you get home. Then you pick up your bags and head home.

"Time to go home?" Your soulmate asks, munching on some fries at the other end of the bond.

"Yeah but I'm kind of sad." You admit to him.

Johnny nods on his side of the connection. "Yeah I know what you mean. You don't want to leave all your friends and your freedom at school but you are happy to go home and see everyone."

"Yeah exactly!" You plop down into the drivers seat of your car and turn the key in the ignition. Johnny always seems to know what to say too. He's uncannily good at reading people you've cone to find out.

"Oh love! How did you exam go? I completely forgot to ask you when you got done." That was another thing, he NEVER forgot. Which benefited you because with your bad memory you're surprised you remember the basic things, like breathing.

"That's alright, I knew you were with Maeve and I didn't want to interrupt. It gave me time to pack." He tells you. "But I think it went well, it was just presenting our final project to the class."

Plugging your phone into the aux, you clicked on your most recent favorite song and blasted it as you pull out of the school parking lot and headed in the direction of home.

"Ah that's good then. I'm glad everything went well!" You tried to respond back to Johnny but you were jamming out too hard to the song to really pay close attention.

Then you hear laughing coming down the bond. Deep belly laughing. "What are you laughing at?" His laughter took your attention away from the song.

"You, you dork. I can hear you jamming out all the way over here. You must really like that song." Johnny continues to bust up laughing.

"Oh my goodness really!?" You suddenly got self conscious. "What can you hear?"

"I can hear you singing the lyrics, like not singing singing but you thinking about the lyrics as you sing them. But I can also feel your happiness and excitement. Like it is just coming off the bond in full force." His deep laughter dies down to a soft chuckle as he tries to breathe.

"Oh my goodness I'm so sorry to just be invading like that." Now you felt bad about basically blasting the song at Johnny.

He laughs again. "Babe don't worry, I don't mind. Besides I like this song too. You have good taste, totally jam worth."

You laugh at that comment. Johnny may be smooth talker and know just what to say all the time but he's really just a giant dork. For someone who looks so cool, you can't believe how much of a big goofball he is.

It was another thing about him that you loved a lot.

The hours pass quickly with good music and Johnny. Soon you're pulling into your driveway and you turn the key off, shutting your car off.

"I'm home." You say to Johnny.

You shoot Maeve a quick text before climbing out of your car and popping open your trunk to grab your bags.

The front door swings open and your mom is standing there, smiling at you. "There's my baby!" She says from her place on the steps.

You smile back at her and close your trunk.

"Hey now, you're my baby. I'm not sharing." Johnny says, lurking in the corner of your mind. You roll your eyes at his comment despite your blushing cheeks.

"You're such a baby." You fire back at him. You hear his laughter again. "How did you even hear that?"

"I know, I'm just teasing. Oh I'm home now by the way." He checks in with you. "And honestly I'm not sure...I can sometimes hear things but they're like real far away and quiet. Most of the time I ignore them if I can hear them."

"Hmmm... that's odd. Oh and me too, as you heard." After hugging your mom, you drag your things to your room.

Johnny shrugs on his end. "I try not to think to hard about how it works, makes my brain hurt." He laughs and you laugh with him.

"Are you talking to someone?" Your mom appears in your doorway with clothes hangers in her hand.

You blush and stop what you're doing. You weren't doing anything bad but it feels weird to share your relationship outloud to someone other than Maeve.

Then your mom sees you don't have your phone out. "Ohhhh, was it Johnny?" She smiles and hands you the clothes hangers. You nod and take the hangers from her.

"You'll have to tell me more about him later. Oh and tell him I said hi." Then she gives you a wink before leaving your room.

"Uh Johnny, my mom says hi." You say down the bond, face still red.

"You'll have to tell her I said hi back." He responds, sounding distracted.

"Are you busy right now?"

He sighs. "No I'm just unpacking while mom is talking my ear off since I haven't been home in a while. She keeps getting irriated when I'm not paying attention. How about we check back in and talk before bed? That way you can tell your mom all about me and I can do the same." He says in a light teasing tone.

You roll your eyes at him and chuckle a little. "Okay, tell her I said hi then. I'll talk to you later then. I love you Johnny."

"I love you too Y/N." Then he's gone, leaving that empty spot that never feels right until he's back.

You finish unpacking and hanging things up and then head downstairs to see your family.

#kpopwonderlandtag #johnnyseo #johnny #johnnynct #nct #nctfic #johnnyxreader #nctxreader #soulmateau #nctsoulmate #kpop #kpopfic

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com-blog · 5 years

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Blog 5

During class we talked about the types of ineffective listening. The first type of ineffective listening is pseudolistening. I catch myself pseudolistening when I am playing guitar with my friends, typing on the computer, or when I am driving. Since I have memorized the chords on the guitar, I am able to talk to my friends while looking up and acknowledging them and what they say. It may seem like I am being attentive because I am able to maintain eye contact and nod, but most of the time I am either trying to remember what the next chord is in my head, or I am singing the song in my head. As I type on the computer, I don’t have to look down at the keyboard very often. This allows me to be able to keep eye contact as well and make it seem as though I am listening to the conversation. Lastly, when I drive, I always have music playing. If I am talking with a friend in the car, I usually am pseudolistening. Although I am not able to keep constant eye contact, I turn my head a few times to show I am “listening.” I also nod or laugh or smile depending on what they are saying. However, I have many other things going on in my mind. I am trying to pay attention to the road and my surroundings, and I the music that I am playing is distracting me from the conversation as well. The lyrics are going through my head or I am quietly singing along to myself. The second type of ineffective listening is stage-hogging. If I stage-hog (which I don’t believe I do very often) it is usually when I am trying to make the point that my negative situation is worse than someone else’s negative situation. For better or worse, I don’t tend to stage-hog with positive things like accomplishments. An example of negative stage-hogging is when someone is talking about their schedule and how much they must do for the next day or upcoming days. I turn the conversation towards myself and “try to top” their schedule by saying how much more I must do and how my schedule is way worse than theirs. It isn’t something to brag about, but I do it anyway. The third type of ineffective listening is selective listening. An example of when I recently used selective listening was when I was driving in my car a few days ago. The radio station that I was listening to was giving away tickets for a concert, and I decided to try calling in to win them. As the time went on after I called, I only listened for when the winning callers were going to be announced. All other commercials or reports were blocked out as I tried to listen for the concert tickets. The fourth type of ineffective listening is defensive listening. I am guilty of this whenever my friends comment on the music that I listen to. There are many songs that I hold close to my heart and mean a lot to me. When I want to share these songs with my friends and they don’t really like to song, or don’t appreciate it as much as I do, I take it as a personal attack. I know that they aren’t meaning to make me sad or upset, but I still take it personally sometimes since the song means so much to me. The fifth type of ineffective listening is ambushing. I cannot recall many instances of when I used ambushing. The only example I can remember in which I used it was when I knew the truth about a situation and the other person was telling me a lie. They were unaware that I knew what had really happened. I listened to them intently so that after they were done, I could list back all the parts they lied about and rebuttal them with what really happened in each of the situations. The sixth type of ineffective listening is insensitive listening. I do not do this type of ineffective listening, but if I were to it would probably happen if I was being distracting by something. For example, if I was taking a phone call and I had a quick interaction with someone, not really paying attention to their cues and how they were feeling because I couldn’t focus on what was going on. During class, we also talked about some of the reasons why we don’t listen better. One of the reasons why we don’t listen better is because of preoccupations. A few months ago when it was time to submit scholarship essays, I didn’t really listen to the story that my friend was saying. There was a scholarship that I was frantically trying to finish before the deadline, which was obviously more important to me at the moment than the story that my friend was talking to me about. My worrying to finish the scholarship on time and hand it in was the preoccupation that I had that caused me not being able to effectively listen to my friend. Another one of the reasons why we don’t listen better is because it takes effort to listen. A lot of the time I come home late from studying and doing homework. My brother is usually up as well, but he’s playing video games. When I come home around 2:00 am, he has energy, but I have none whatsoever. He plays video games competitively, and always loves to update me on how he did that day and what he hopes to accomplish in his upcoming tournaments or games. I am happy that he wants to update me on how he is doing, but he usually wants to do it at that time when I come back after working on my homework for so many hours. Once I get home all I want to do is change, do my hygiene routine, and go to bed. This makes is difficult for me to listen to him. Another one of the reasons why we don’t listen better is because of external noise. A perfect example of this was when we did the listening activity in class. Person A had a drawing in their hand, and person B was facing the board, unable to speak or turn around. The goal was for person B to draw what was in person A’s hand based off of what they were telling them. When I was the one drawing at the board it was extremely hard for me to hear what my partner was saying. All the other people in the class were shouting to their partners as well, and I had trouble picking out my partners voice amongst the rest. Adding onto this, it did not help that I also have a hearing problem (which is another one of the reasons why we don’t listen better). I always blast music from my headphones, so some of my hearing has been lost due to that. I need to ask my friends to repeat what they say a lot of the time. Overall, this hearing problem plus the external noise made it very hard to listen to my partner and accomplish the task.

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seanbonner · 6 years

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New Blog Post: Happy Accidents, a post about the Doughboys

I’ve been listening to a lot of Doughboys recently. Out of the blue about 2 months ago, for no reason at all one of their songs popped into my head and inspired me to go dig up the albums. This is always a dangerous prospect because when you remember liking a band that you haven’t heard in a very long time sometimes the memory is better than the real thing and when you go revisit them later in life they just don’t hold up. I’ve ruined a handful of childhood favorites by listening to them with a critical adult ear. Luckily, Doughboys held up and have been on almost constant repeat since I put the files onto my phone so I could walk around with them. Listening to these songs again has been really interesting for me beyond just rediscovering some music I used to like.

In 1991 when I was 16 I went to a show to see a band called the Doughboys who had some members from The Asexuals though I didn’t really know what they sounded like. The show I’m thinking of was at a venue called Janus Landing so I knew I could get in free via any number of means, and important consideration for 16 year old me growing up in the middle of Florida. There was a secret back alley entrance next to a sandwich shop that had a fence I could jump, if I got there early enough I could grab a piece of gear and carry it in walking right through the front door with a purpose. There was a guy named Fred who always set up a table inside selling records and I knew I could act like I was helping him carry things in too. Or in the worse case I could find Tony who was the promoter of the show and beg. Looking back now there is no way he didn’t know I was sneaking in to all his shows, but never once gave me any trouble for it and helped me out in many ways over the years. But that’s a different story.

One way or another I’d get in. And the funny thing about doing this kind of reminiscing in 2019 is that in some cases someone actually has the event on video and has posted it to YouTube. The quality is questionable, but I’m certain that one of the heads bouncing around in front of the stage in this is mine. My friends and I all looked the same so it’s hard to pinpoint, but I dead center in the front for this entire show.

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That was a long lead up to the main point that at this show I completely fell in love with this band. Their crazy long dreadlocks, poppy as shit songs and overall attitude was incredibly refreshing at the time. And added bonus was that at this show they were selling a purple long sleeve T-shirt giant yellow writing on the back that read “I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY.” It was a favorite of mine for years. This tour was just after their “When Up Turns To Down” but the first record I bought of their was their then most recent album “Happy Accidents” and that’s the one I always went back to and have listened to perhaps thousands of times. If you have one of those records where you know every single word, every single note, every single tempo spacing then you know what I mean. I feel lucky to have a number of those kinds of records, but “Happy Accidents” is on of them for sure. And of course, someone has posted the entire album on YouTube and if you did nothing else for the next 48 minutes besides sit and listen to it that would be 48 minutes well spent.

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Every single song on this record resonates with me for different reasons and in different ways. It brings me vivid memories of the swampy smell of the unfinished garage I lived in at the time as our housing complex condo was only 2 bedrooms and I didn’t want to share a bedroom with my mother or brother, long sticky summer days driving across the state with friends, car air conditioner broken, windows rolled down and stereo blasting, or walking through neighborhood streets in central Florida, yards alternating from perfectly manicured to hosting a collection of rusted cars on cinder blocks. The songs were catchy and often about girls and being in love but not in the sappy way that would have put me off at the time. The song “Wait And See” can be found on almost every mix tape I made for any girl over the next 5 years. You might not think think that a song with lyrics like

..If I could take for granted all my faults and second chances, there’s one chance left to take, you could be my maiden and I could fight off all the dragons, but it never seems to work out that way…

would have clicked for a little hardcore straight edge kid in the middle of nowhere obsessed with grindcore and hiphop but they did in a big way. “Intravenus De Milo” “Happy Sad Day” and “Sunflower Honey” were also common mix tape ingredients, though the sample in “Sunflower Honey” that says “What does sex amount to without a sense of guilt” made including that one tricky depending on the hidden messages I was trying to sneak in there.

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Their previous album “Home Again” was no less beautiful and I copied the CDs that I had onto one long playing cassette so that when driving around we could listen to both albums back to back easily. The unquestionable standout track on that was “I Won’t Write You A Letter” because with that sugary hook and lyrics like:

…Now and then I might remember, mostly I try to forget, and right now I’m in the middle wondering if it’s over yet, and I know it doesn’t matter because the road will never end, well so I won’t write you a letter I know I’ll be home again…

how could it not? I cued up the video below to that song, listen to the whole thing and wait for the baseline break down 3/4ths of the way through. Holy shit it still gets me even to this day.

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Digging further back, their first album “Whatever” just didn’t grab me, I think if I’d heard it when it came out I may have had a different take on it, but by “Home Again” and “Happy Accidents”they had really found their sound which they hadn’t quite figured out on “Whatever” though it there are glimpses of it if you want to hunt for them, but I never really felt the need.

A few years later in 1993 “Crush” came out accompanied by their first music video for the first song from the record “shine” which got picked up on MTV2 which was a really big deal in those days. I remember someone getting tipped off when it was going to be played and we all went over to watch it together. This video, much better than the live Janus Landing one I posted before shows what weirdos they looked like, and really captures what they felt like in my memory.

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They were Canadian too so had some added mystic to us Florida kids, in fact now that I think about it it was probably the Doughboys and The Nils who first made Canada interesting to me. Years later I’d re-release the epic “And Such Is Progress” by Grade and then eventually marry a Canadian girl, so maybe they can all thank Doughboys for initially pointing me north. When you think about it Canada and Florida are both weird places that most people have only heard about and are probably a little afraid of so we have some social outcast kinship right out of the gate.

Anyway “Crush” kept going, here’s a song called “Melt” that you can’t even pretend doesn’t rock.

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Their final album “Turn Me On” took a big step forward and felt totally different to me than their earlier work. But not in the way that Jawbreaker’s “Dear You” felt totally different, where you were shocked at first, almost taken aback, but it got interesting on the second listen and the brilliance began to show by the third listen and every successive listen after that becomes clearer and clearer that it’s perhaps one of the greatest records ever recorded without ruining the trio of perfect records that had lead up to it. No, “Turn Me On” was just different, and it wasn’t my thing. It’s not a bad record in any sense, but it’s not “Happy Accidents” and that’s what it was all about for me.

Recently I learned that Doughboys singer-guitarist John Kastner moved from Montreal to Los Angeles just before I did and lived right around the corner from me for many years, though I didn’t know it at the time. I don’t know what I would have done had I known, but I’d like to think I would have walked over, knocked on his door and said thanks.

It’s funny sitting here a month shy of my 44th birthday trying to remember when I was 16. Thinking back on that kid I used to be I can’t help but think of things I would tell him that I know now, knowing full well he would never believe anything I had to say. Similarly, I wonder what he’d tell me, looking at the life I ended up making and where the paths I chose lead. I know for sure he never could have imagined half of what has gone down over the last 3 decades – but given the chance to look ahead at where he’d land I wonder what would be the thing he’d have hoped that I would held onto. At that time I really didn’t expect to live to far into my 20’s so I think he would be both surprised and proud. I still like that kid when I think about him. Idealistic and stubborn, he definitely had some issues he needed to work through but he came out OK on the other side of I don’t say so myself.

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mustseemorebands · 3 years

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56 bands in 5 days: My Top 15 shows at SXSW 2022

1. Gustaf at Augustine (Brooklyn, NY) - Over jagged guitars and quirky dance rhythms harkening to the B-52s and Gang of Four, singer Lydia Gammill ranted and raged with such theatrical gusto that she jumped offstage, pushed photographers aside, pawed her way through the crowd and sang most of the first song while lying face down on the venue floor. Eventually, the band’s punk angst transformed into ferocious fun, with Gammill admitting to the crowd that “the bit” needs a break every now and then. She then launched into the disarming “(I Hope You’re) Happy,” which started with a smirk but ended as a wish.

2. Abby Hamilton at Idle Hands (Lexington, KY) - The most telling sign of a new artist’s impact at SXSW is how fast they can stop a crowd devouring free food in mid-forkful. Hamilton is a country star waiting to happen, a gifted singer-songwriter who conveys the clever nuances of Nashville with the twang-pop soulfulness of early Lucinda Williams. Her powerful voice literally turned heads as she sang about the pitfalls of dating older men and living on Tito’s and corn chips and threw herself into the hard-rocking “Change Things.”

3. TEKE::TEKE at Cheer Up Charlie’s (Montreal, Canada) - Nothing says SXSW like witnessing a seven-member band from Canada blending surf guitars, flute, trombone, and traditional Japanese instruments into a soaring, psychedelic blast.

4. W.I.T.C.H. at Hotel Vegas Patio (Lusaka, Zambia) - One of psychedelic rock’s best kept secrets is an east African band who released their first album in 1974 with lead singer Emanuel "Jagari" Chanda. Rediscovered recently via vinyl reissues of their catalog, Chanda has joined forces with a younger band of Dutch rockers including Jacco Gardner and can still command the stage and overpower the wah-wah guitars with his roaring voice and funky showmanship.

5. Wet Leg at Half Step (Isle of Wight, UK) - Excuse me: If you were betting this duo who broke through last year with the relentlessly catchy “Chaise Longue” was just a one-novelty hit wonder, their SXSW showcase would have been a huge disappointment for you. Greeted by the packed house like the indie-rock heroes they are, Rhian Teasdale and Hester Chambers twirled in unison with their guitars and previewed a few unreleased songs from their forthcoming debut album with remarkable cool and confidence.

6. The Continental Drifters at Lucy’s Fried Chicken (Los Angeles/New Orleans) - The roots-rock supergroup featuring Susan Cowsill, Vicki Peterson of The Bangles and Peter Holsapple of the dB’s reunited on stage for the first time in 5 years and celebrated the occasion with a glorious extended afternoon set that exuded all the playfulness of an open rehearsal. They traded lead vocals on original songs like “The Rain Song” and “I Want to Learn to Waltz with You” and their trademark covers of Gram Parsons’ “A Song For You,” Michael Nesmith’s “Some of Shelly’s Blues,” Alive and Kicking’s “Tighter and Tighter” and a mindblowing rampage through Richard Thompson’s “You’re Going to Need Somebody.”

7. Blunt Bangs at The Green Jay (Athens, GA) - This high octane power pop band fronted by former Black Kids leader Reggie Youngblood became a late must-see curiosity after I spent the 4 hour drive to Austin hitting the repeat button on the ultra-catchy “She’s Gone." And to emphasize their good taste, they covered Teenage Fanclub’s crunchy “Everything Flows,” an obscure track from 1990’s A Catholic Education.

8. Cassandra Jenkins at St. David’s Episcopal Church (Brooklyn NY) - My quietest show was also one of the most emotional, with Jenkins and a two-saxophone quartet recreating songs from her stunning 2021 breakthrough An Overview on Phenomenal Nature. “Hailey” and the Laurie Anderson-like “Hard Drive” rocked harder live than on record, while her comforting voice found the perfect balance of being both meditative and moving.

9. Pom Pom Squad (Brooklyn, NY) at The Pershing - Bandleader Mia Berrin takes no prisoners as she defies all eras, celebrating her affection for everything from girl-group pop to grunge. “Drunk Voicemail” is the only song in history to melodically tap into “Smells Like Teen Spirit” while quoting Melanie’s “Brand New Key,” a move as brazen as it is brilliant.

10. Horsegirl at Hotel San Jose (Chicago, IL) - Newly signed to Matador Records, the teenage trio, with two guitarists and a drummer, were already generating a buzz before the festival. But on stage, they came across unfazed and unrivaled as they casually churned out a droning, fuzz-fueled racket that drew inspiration from Sonic Youth and My Bloody Valentine. But within the slow building urgency of “Billy” and “Sea Life Sandwich Boy,” melodies peeked out, proving they can make songs as well as noise. And pretty good ones at that.

11. Tayla Parx (Los Angeles, CA) at Container Bar - The Dallas native who has been nominated for Grammys as co-writer of hits for Mariah Carey and Justin Bieber is also a dazzling performer who swirls elements of R&B, disco, hip-hop and pop. Between such solo hits as “Dance Alone” and “Fixerupper,” she tested out a few new songs destined for her forthcoming third album, zigzagged octaves and made even her snarky songs sound poignant.

12. Geese at the Pershing (Brooklyn NY) - Not to be confused with Goose, Geese is a former teenage basement band that mixes up a volatile blend of classic rock, The Strokes and early ‘80s post punk that unspools into an indescribable but riveting style. Lead singer Cameron Winter prowls and paces the stage, seemingly unsure of what to do when he’s not at the mike but knowing exactly what to do when he is.

13. Katie Toupin at The Pershing (Louisville, KY) - Celebrating 4 years of sobriety and her uplifting “Astronaut” being adopted by NASA, Toupin brought an undeniable charm and an enrapturing positivity to a crowd that didn’t seem to know of her previous career as being “formerly of Houndmouth.” Her 2019 album Magnetic Moves cemented her strengths as a solo artist and she clearly enjoyed giving songs like “Someone Like Me” and the title track the post-pandemic showcase they deserved. She reclaimed the Houndmouth hit “Sedona” toward the end of her set, but most of the crowd thought it was a cover. “That’s my song,” she said with a grin, avoiding putting emphasis on the second word and sounding proud, not bitter.

14. Neal Francis at The Mohawk (Chicago IL) - Armed with a Clavinet customized with a whammy bar, Francis unleashed a flurry of groovy, ‘70s-soaked originals that were expanded into funky, sometimes bluesy jams reminiscent of The Meters and even the Allman Brothers.

15. The Heavy Hours (Cincinnati, OH) at Geraldine’s - This quartet could be the poster boys for the power of pure pop simplicity - sunny melodies and romantic lyrics delivered with an effortless groove that sits somewhere between Americana and folk. ”Don’t Walk Away,” co-written with Dan Auerbach, was the most instantly irresistible song I’ve heard at SXSW since 2012 when the then-unknown Lumineers wandered into the crowd and unveiled “Ho Hey.”

I also saw: Penelope Isles, Creamer, Jon Dee Graham, Blue Mountain, Flower, The Wild Seeds, Jon Langford, Sun Room, Buzzard Buzzard Buzzard, Merex, Near Beer. Teenage Halloween, Wish Kit, No Ice, Ritt Momney, Ber, +/-, Couch Prints, Grace Cummings, Ural Thomas and the Pain, Roller Derby, Ezra Furman, Yard Act, Self Esteem, Le Ren, Sasami, Night Moves, Baby Queen, Little Quirks, Malen Peterssen, SUSTO, Madison McFerrin, Pillow Queens, Sir Woman, Circuit Des Yeux, Ayoni, Melts, Seratones, Mamalarky, Cuffed Up, and Alex Chilton tribute with English Teeth and guest singers Steve Wynn, John Doe, Chuck Prophet and others - DO

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fleurdepizza · 6 years

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tagged by @may-jasmine

challenge: share 10 songs that have been stuck in your head and tag 10 others

I don’t get many songs stuck in my head anymore. Instead I’ll do 10 songs I’ve been recently obsessed with. In order of how much I replay it I guess..

10. Take on Me - A-ha Fun Fact: The first time I heard this song was on the Saints Row 2 soundtrack, and it kicked off my love of 80s music.

9. Die House - Kristofer Maddigan (Cuphead) The catchiest villain theme I’ve heard in a while.

8. Don’t Stop Me Now - Queen If you ever hear this song play while I’m around, run. I’m about to put on a show.

7. Mirage Saloon Act 2 - Tee Lopes (Sonic Mania) I had this as my ringtone for 3 months. I replaced it with the Knuckles version of it.

6. Swimming Pools (Drank) - Kendrick Lamar Also on a Saints Row soundtrack, this was always on my personal radio. I had a lot of fun chilling in the simulation with this in the bg.

5. Andromeda - Gorillaz My brother got this album for me, and this was the song I listened to the most, on repeat, much to the annoyance of my family.

4. Whims of Fate - Shoji Meguro (Persona 5) It’s hard choosing between this, last surprise, rivers in the desert, and a woman -another version-, and oh! can’t forget beneath the mask rainy version. God, this soundtrack is full of gems.

3. Clattanoia - Masayoshi Oishi × Tom-H@ck (Overlord Season1) I found this anime on a whim, but the moment I heard this song, I was hooked. You don’t want to know how many times I’ve blasted this song.

2. Infinite Azure - AJURIKA, Rio Hamamoto, Taku Inoue, Keiichi Okabe, Nobuyoshi Sano (sanodg), BatAAr (Tekken 7) I notoriously love everything Tekken when it comes to the soundtrack but this right here. This is my new favorite track, yeah, even surpassing mystical forest and fallen colony.

1. All the Stars - Kendrick Lamar ft. SZA Do I even need to explain this? Have you heard this song? Listen to it. This song is still being repeated to this day. If you listen closely, you can hear me screaming the chorus loudly and off-key. This might be my all-time favorite song which would be a first for me.

My music tastes are all over the place. I also could have included We Don’t Care by Let’s Get it, Throne by Bring Me the Horizon, Sleepwalking by Chain Gang 1974, Nameless World by Skip the Use, and Dreams of an Absolution by Bentley Jones.

I guess I’ll tag:

@demi-bryir, @laziskeli, @moistminion, @maulsapprentice, @domina-pulla, @jackmischief, @zangestzu, @totallytrailbreaker, @misaowako, @mellydraws

#tag meme #music is one of my few pleasures #so i hope someone adds at least one of these to their fave list #even if i tagged you #you don't have to do it #long post

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chaos-and-recover · 7 years

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ALL OF THE ASKS 🖤

EVERY TIME.

Alright let’s do this.

1: Favorite band?

AFI and/or July Talk

2: Favorite song?

Of all time? I think I realized recently that it is in fact Falling Slowly. The fact that I have like 7 different versions in my music library was a solid clue that I fucking love it.

3: What’s a band/artist you loved as a child but can barely listen to now?

My brother and I loved Kris Kross when we were little. That’s some cheeseball rap right there. Also when I was 12 I was super into Prodigy. But then, Firestarter is still a good fucking song.

4: Did you ever see a band/artist live?

Yes? A lot? Many times?

5: Are you going to any gigs soon?

I was supposed to go to Chicago next weekend to see my boys the Plain White T’s but they cancelled the show and I’m bummed.

I’m seeing Jimmy Eat World on December 5th and I’m stoked about it.

I’m also seeing July Talk three nights in a row on the 20th, 21st and 22nd because I have no self control and I love them.

6: Ever been to a festival?

Yes, several. I used to love them and now I’m too old for that shit and there’s too many of them and the bands are spread too thin and no one festival has enough bands I like to justify it lol.

8: A song with a number in the title?

Green Day - 21 Guns

9: A song that gets you through shit?

AFI - Narrative of Soul Against Soul

10: A good song for long bus rides?

Anberlin - Autobahn

11: A song you’d have sex to?

Take That - Pretty Things (I mean it’s kinda weird but uh I’m into it)

12: A song to shut everything out?

36 Crazyfists - Slit Wrist Theory (like 90% sure this song almost got me sent to therapy given how many times my 17 year old self blasted it)

13: A song for when you’re lonely?

The entire “Cities” album by Anberlin is my security blanket. I’ll saw The Unwinding Cable Car though.

14: A song that’s become a joke between you and your friends?

Jack’s Mannequin - Dark Blue ( @sinceubeenjon knows why)

15: A song to jam out to at 4AM?

The Used - The Taste Of Ink. Because it literally references 4:00 in the morning lol

16: An album you could listen to for days on end?

I’m pretty sure I did listen to Decemberunderground by AFI for days on end in 2006. And like… constantly ever since.

17: A song that punches you in the gut every single time?

Anberlin - Atonement. Fuuuuuuuck me :)

18: A song for when you’re crazy angry?

I wanna saw Slit Wrist Theory again but I’m also trying not to repeat songs so uhhhh The Used - Box Full Of Sharp Objects. I have a lot of angst apparently.

19: If you had to pick one song to represent what you’re feeling right now, what would it be?

It’s not actually Christmas but it is a holiday in the US and I have a cold so “It’s Christmas And I’m Sick” by MxPx. Honestly, I have nothing else. I have no feelings right now lol.

20: A song that calms you down?

The Used - Bllue & Yellow

21: A song that makes you feel alive?

Anberlin - Dismantle.Repair

22: A band with an insane fandom?

Are Twenty One Pilots fans still bonkers? That’s one. Or a certain segment of 1D fandom. You know the one (the Larries. Jesus christ people.)

23: What are some lyrics you love to pieces?

There are so many. Here are some of my favourites:

“It’s not about the money we makeIt’s about the passions that we ache forWhat makes your heart beat fasterTell me now what does your body long after?”-Time & Confusion by Anberlin

“And as the days go onThe love, the lust, the buzz that wasReduced to dust, could be becauseIt never was something moreThan just a void filling feeling”-FL,GA by The Rocket Summer

“I saw you every time I closed my eyesIn the Hughes film I had scored, produced and starred in in my mindI could recite you, well I’d written every lineBut you strayed far from the flawless script on which I’d spent a lifetime”-Veronica Sawyer Smokes by AFI

“I tried, but it rang and rang, I called all nightFrom a payphone, remember those? From another lifeIf everything I meant to youYou can’t lick and seal then fold in twoThen I’ve been so blind.”-Dizzy by Jimmy Eat World

“Let it out, let me in, take a hold of my handThere’s nothing like another soul that’s been cut up the sameAnd did you wanna drive without a word in between?I can understand, you need a minute to breatheAnd to sew up the seams after all this defeat.”-Handwritten by The Gaslight Anthem

I’m gonna stop there.

24: Would you ever get any song lyrics tattooed? If so which ones?

I have some! I have “Just point to the light that casts out the dark” from White Fireworks by The Rocket Summer in Bryce Avary’s handwriting and I’m pretty damn pleased with it. I’d probably get more. He also wrote “Be reckless, be bright” for me from The Rescuing Type that I wanna get done.

25: What’s a band/artist you’d addict your children to from an early age?

Kids? Gross. I’m gonna try to get my niece into some good shit. When is an appropriate age to get her into AFI?

26: A vocalist you love?

I’m perfectly neutral and rational about Davey Havok, tbh, I’ve never been extra about him a day in my life.

I also love me some Adam Lambert and have very strong opinions about him fronting Queen (they are all variations of “he’s great at it fight me.)

27: Has a band/artist ever inspired you to do something?

Yes, usually dumb shit, like travel across a country/continent/ocean to see them.

28: A band/artist you love but no longer exists?

MOTHERFUCKING ANBERLIN.

29: What was your favorite band/artist when you were 12?

The Backstreet Boys, lol.

30: A band/artist you can’t stand?

Twenty One goddamn Pilots. Also ask me how I feel about Metric some time. (I FUCKIN HATE METRIC.)

31: What’s your favorite genre?

I honestly don’t have one. The music I like is all over the goddamn map.

32: Can you play any instruments?

I played percussion for 6 years in school and was self-taught on bass, though I haven’t pulled mine out in literal years. (One day I’m gonna get it out again and learn Pink Eyes by AFI. It’s gonna happen.)

33: Do you sing?

Hahahahahahhahahaa not so anyone can hear me.

34: If you could be a member of any band for one show, who would it be?

I would Jordan Pundik from New Found Glory because I still maintain that he only has to sing like half of every song and the crowd does the rest.

35: Do you have a favorite piece of merch?

My current favourite merch item in the world is my 36 Crazyfists hoodie. It’s so soft, so warm, so comfy. My Anberlin carabiner has served me very well over the years too.

36: What’s the first album you ever bought with your own money?

I always tell people it was the first BSB album but it was actually a Raptors promo CD released ahead of their first season in the NBA. BSB just sounds more like it’s a real thing that existed.

37: Do you prefer buying physical copies of albums or do you download them on the internet?

Physical. Digital versions just… I don’t connect with them as well? I don’t know, I don’t feel like I really own them if I can’t touch ‘em.

38: CDs or vinyls?

Vinyl. Also, not to be a pedant, but the plural of vinyl is vinyl.

39: Do you play your music out loud or with headphones?

Headphones. Used to be out loud all the time back in the days of desktop computers when I’d be alone in a room on the computer and could do that without annoying everyone lol.

40: A band/artist a friend showed you?

I guess I can blame Raven for how much I love Eric Church, does that count?

41: A song that gives you the chills?

Anberlin - The Unwinding Cable Car, but like, a very specific recording of it. This one, in fact, starting at 3:08 when Stephen is singing the bridge and the crowd comes in with “this is the correlation between salvation and love” part completely unprompted and it builds up until he’s holding “heart” and we’re holding “dark” and it’s fucking magical and you know what’s not captured on the audio recording? The look on Christian’s goddamn face when that happened. That was a hell of a show.

42: A song to play at your funeral?

I mean, you could go ahead and play that version of Cable Car linked in the last answer because it’s probably what killed me anyway, but if you wanna be more cliche just bust out Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World.

43: A band/artist with amazing an instrumental but really bad lyrics?

I listened to BedLIGHT for BlueEYES for the first time in a few years the other day so um. Them. The lyrics have not held up super well but my GOD they’re catchy. (Although “But I guess I shouldn’t hat you you, in fact I oughtta thank you for helping me write this song / If this album tops the Billboard I think I’ll save the quarter to call you and let you know” from Too Late still fucking kills though.)

44: A love song?

Any love song? 200,000 by my sweet baby boy The Rocket Summer, it’s the cutest fucking song in the world.

45: A song you love to sing to yourself?

I don’t sing to myself, that’s embarrassing (it’s probably like, Raise Your Glass by Pink or something, though)

46: What do you listen to when you go for a run?

When I did run more often it was to movie soundtracks. 127 Hours had some really good running tunes. Also there’s a song on the Inception soundtrack that was perfect for a good sprint.

47: A song that represents a deserted city at night?

The Taste of Ink by The Used kinda gives me that feeling, I guess.

48: A wild song?

Wild? How about Wild by AFI, is that good enough lol.

49: An upbeat song with grim lyrics?

Motion City Soundtrack - Everything Is Alright.

50: What are some song titles you love?

Okay so I can’t really think of any but it took me until entirely too recently to realize that “Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off” and “But It’s Better If You Do” by Panic! At The Disco fucking… they go together. They’re supposed to be read together. Years that took me. That album was my second most-played in iTunes and I didn’t… figure that out. I’m dumb as hell.

51: If your life ended today, what song would you chose to represent it?

One song, to represent my entire life? Hell if I know. Probably like, Tonight by NKOTB though, let’s be honest.

52: Can you give me a 5 song playlist on ___?

ON WHAT I NEED A TOPIC.

53: Do you listen to instrumental music?

Sometimes, sure.

54: Weirdest band/artist you know of?

Foxy Shazam were weird as hell. We put their album on at work years ago because the sticker… I can’t remember what the sticker compared them to now but it was a mix of bands that made us say “that can’t POSSIBLY be right” and then it was? (one of them was Queen, I remember that). They were fucking weirdos and I miss them TERRIBLY.

55: A song about drugs?

You know who I haven’t mentioned in this yet? Lucky Boys Confusion. They have a lot of songs about drugs. 40/80 comes to mind. What a jam. What a band.

56: A heart-wrenching song?

This might seem like an odd choice but 11.24.11 by 36 Crazyfists. It goes hard as hell but then “don’t plan to live forever but I wanted her to,” and it’s about his mother, it just fucking wrecks me.

57: A band/artist you’re proud of?

July Talk. They deserve to be bigger but they’re doing so well and I’m so proud of them and if they were any bigger I would absolutely be insufferable about it.

58: A band/artist who’s music could bring you back from the dead?

If I had been dead for like five years but you told me Lucky Boys Confusion were going on tour I would be up and at every single show in a snap, I want to see them again SO BADLY.

59: A band/artist with a sick aesthetic?

Listen, I fucking love July Talk’s black/white, light/dark, sweet/rough contrasting aesthetic. It is everything. It is so well-executed. Talk to me about the first album and how well they played into it. I love them. I love everything they choose to be. I FUCKING LOVE JULY TALK.

60: A song that has a lot of meaning to you?

Plain White T’s - Radios In Heaven is a bit of a thing for me.

#nikkihorrorxx #ALL THE ASKS #who's gonna read this nikki #this is so long #long post

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korean-pop-stuff · 7 years

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Kpop “Feel Good During a Drive” Playlist

I put together 9 kpop songs that would be great to play during a car ride. I’m always in my car alone and it’s very boring and eerily silent when there’s no one else there, so I ALWAYS play music in the car no matter how long the drive is. I could have made this list 100+ songs, but I picked out the most recent, best ones from my fave kpop song list.

You can access this playlist on youtube here.

I think this playlist would be perfect to play during a car ride and it also offers a variety of vibes that you can experience because sometimes you want to save yourself from boredom, but sometimes you also want to chill and relax.

1. Lee Gikwang - What You Like

youtube

I love to play this song because this song is very upbeat and it is extremely catchy. It’s one of those songs that you hum or bop your head along to. I love that the song pulls back at the end. It resolves very nicely which allows for a smooth transition into the next song. The lyrics are also very cute because the lyrics are directed to the listener as if he is singing the song to them so it’s very engaging. I am actually a huge fan of Gikwang and the group he is from, which is Highlight. This was his very first solo song/album so it was very exciting to hear what type of music he could release as a solo artist. I have been obsessed with this song since it came out and I am definitely not going to get tired of it any time soon!

2. BLACK6IX - Like A Flower

youtube

This is also one of my absolute favorite songs that I have been listening to non-stop lately. The instrumental is quite amazing too, so I also recommend checking it out (here is a link to it). This song is really good to play when you want to listen to something easy to the ear, but also upbeat. The sound almost melts into the ears and gives a feeling of slipping into another world. But then in the middle, it goes into a trap beat and one of the members raps and breaks you out of that entranced state for a moment. Playing this song makes me feel cool while I drive for some reason. Maybe it will have the same effect on you (which you won’t know until you try it) I actually found this song while I was browsing for more kpop songs to listen to (as if I didn’t have enough already) and I came across this one. This group is very new and this is actually their second song, but I have heard of them before because I actually checked out their first song when I saw it on a chart for a Korean music broadcasting show. They caught my interest, so I will definitely be looking forward to more songs like this because it is very different from what I’ve heard.

3. Jung Yong Hwa - That Girl (Feat. Loco)

youtube

We’re continuing with the upbeat music theme, but this song is different because it builds up with Loco’s amazing rap then the chorus right after. This song just has so many different colors and textures. It’s just a FUN song. The chorus is also very easy to sing along to or at least hum along to. I would be surprised to hear if you DIDN’T do a little dance while listening to this song. I came across this song while just clicking random songs in the recommended column and I looked at the thumbnail and went, “Oh! I know who that is!” because he is the main singer in a group called CNBLUE which I am semi-familiar with. So I wanted to hear what type of music he could offer if he goes solo. And I am quite impressed and intrigued.

4. AKMU - Dinosaur

youtube

I love this sister and brother duo so much. They are just such talented singers and composers. This song is absolutely amazing just like all the other songs in this playlist. You would be very surprised when you go through the different parts of the song. In the beginning, you would think that this song would be very laid back and acoustic, but then they slowly add EDM effects into it, and then the CHORUS. There are so many ups and downs in this song; parts that are silent and slow and parts that are full of combinations of sounds. This song is a very easy listen and is the type that you would play with the windows open while the breeze flows through the car (obviously most favorably in the spring or early summer). Their voices also harmonize very nicely (like for all their songs) which is so satisfying to listen to. It’s impossible to not be in a good mood while listening to it.

5. One - Heyahe

youtube

Okay, time to lay back on this one. It’s an easy listen, but unlike the other songs in this playlist, this song is the one to play in order to calm down and get engulfed by the music. When this song comes on, it’s time to let go. This song just puts the listener in a peaceful state of mind. It’s nice to take a break from roaring bass blasting through the speakers. My friend made my listen to this song a few times and I actually didn’t like it at first because I was not the type of person who likes laid back, chill music, but my taste in music changed since that time, so I love this song now. It’s best to be more open to different types of music.

(Tumblr doesn’t allow more than 5 videos in a post, so I’m going to have to hyperlink the songs instead- at least they open up in a new tab. Also, bless gifs)

6. NCT 127 - Cherry Bomb

Speaking of bass blasting through the speakers, that is exactly what you get when you play this song. So if you like to roll down the windows or feel the car rattling after every beat, this is perfect for you. If you don’t like loud ringing in your ears, then this is a song you should probably skip. If you haven’t noticed already, I LOVE this song and I love to play this in the car too. It’s a weird and interesting song. I didn’t like it first listen either, but I love it now and this happened to the rest of my friends, so obviously this song has the ability to grow on people. You should give the song a few listens before making an opinion about it. And for those non-Korean speakers out there, the “If you’re happy and your know it, clap your hands” line should be familiar to you, and “I’m the biggest hit on the stage” is constantly repeating over and over again, so this song is the perfect song to scream sing along to.

7. Wanna One - Energetic

This song is cool because it starts off as a slower song with piano chords and then it builds up to a beat drop at the chorus. Of course beat drops are amazing and they magically make a person hyped up. The song is titled “Energetic” for a reason. This song makes the listener energized! This is for when you find that your car ride is getting stale. This song is a perfect pick me up (Ha, get it “Pick Me Up”? Kpop stans know what I’m talking about- okay lame joke). No one wants a boring car ride and with this song, it’s impossible to have a boring car ride. Everyone was listening to this song and group, and I thought I would jump on the bandwagon and it was one of the best decisions of my life. So maybe it’s time for you to jump on the bandwagon too.

8. Sunmi - Gashina

This song is a nice change from the rest of the songs because Sunmi has a different type of voice from the rest of the artists in this playlist. She definitely went for the synth pop sound for pretty much the whole song which could make for a fun experience during a car ride. This is also another song with a beat drop. Beat drops for the chorus is such a fun way to get the listener more engaged and into the song because it makes the ears perk up and go “Wow that was so unexpected but also amazing!”. I came across this song also by browsing various korean artists and songs in the recommended tab. When I first came across this song, it was love at first listen and I couldn’t wait to get the song on my phone just so I can play it in the car.

9. MONSTA X - Newton

I thought this song was perfect to end this playlist because they’re even on a road trip in the music video! This song was intended to be a summer song, so this is one of those songs that you play blasting through the speakers while driving down the street with the windows rolled down. It just puts you in a good mood. It’s a kid-friendly, fun, happy song. I’m a huge fan of Monsta X and their music and this was quite different from their usual releases. It’s refreshing to listen to an artist that is musically versatile.

Well, I hope you like this playlist and I hope you enjoy listening to it during your next car ride whether you are the driver or the passenger. And don’t hesitate to play it with other guests in the car! I’m sure they’ll enjoy it too. This playlist is also perfect to play when you’re sitting at home doing nothing. It’s a nice way to put yourself in a good mood. I listen to most of these songs when I want to cheer myself up after being in a “meh” mood. Music is good for the soul.

Thanks for listening with me!

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markisan · 5 years

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TOP 40 METAL ALBUMS of 2019 Part 2 of 2 (#1-20)

I’ve been making a Best Metal Albums of the Year list for nearly two decades, but 2019 is the 1st time I’ve done so as an official member of the METALHEADS Podcast. Last year the boys gave me a chance to share my top picks as a guest, and this year I was invited to be a permanent part of the show. It’s been an honor and a blast to discuss metal, interview musicians, and throw a few beers back every month with George, Jay, Will, John and Matt.

2019 was an incredible year for metal. We all spent a lot of time listening to hundreds of albums, honing our lists and cursing the metal gods every time a great contender had to be cut. But when we finally put down our scalpel blades and wiped away the blood, some damn selections were revealed.

My final choices for the top 20 metal albums are below. You can read my choices for #21-40 HERE.

Listen to me and the boys count down ALL 40 of our favorite LPs here:

METALHEADS Ep. 90 “Top 40 Metal Albums of 2019″

20. Wilderun “Veil of Imagination��

Self-Released

This album is musical imagination science. Intricate. Breathtaking. It truly feels like the next evolutionary step in progressive metal.

19. Cranial “Alternate Endings”

Moment of Collapse

An absolutely monstrous and aggressive sludge and post-metal album that occasionally dips its toe into sci-fi synth waters. One of the biggest sounding LPs I’ve heard this year.

18. The Great Old Ones "Cosmicism"

Season of Mist

I’ve enjoyed The Great Old Ones for a while now, but this album takes their sound to a grand cosmic level. As immersive and visceral as the H.P. Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos it’s based on.

17. Obsequaie "The Palms of Sorrowed Kings"

20 Buck Spin

Brilliant, melodic black metal mixed with the sounds of the Renaissance Faire on a summer day. This is classic, medieval literature in musical form and it’s glorious.

16. Inculter "Fatal Visions"

Edged Circle Productions

I found this sinister thrash album a few weeks before the end of 2019 and it quickly left the other speed metal competitors in its blood-soaked wake. I didn’t hear this kind of malevolence in another trash band this year. And I very much dig malevolence.

15. Adrift "Pure"

Temple of Torturous

An absolutely thunderous, progressive metal album, propelled by a jet-fuel fired bass sound, vicious black metal vocals and colossal riffs. A street painter in Madrid told me about this band several years ago and I've been thankful ever since.

14. Vacivus “Annihilism”

Profound Lore

This is exemplary, modern death metal with merciless, unrelenting riffs, savage breakdowns and tremolo-picking tendrils that will wrap around your ear drums like a constrictor snake.

13. Immortal Bird “Thrive On Neglect”

20 Buck Spin

No other band sounds like Immortal Bird. “Thrive on Neglect” is a soaring statement of pummeling death, black and grind metal, mixed with complex hardcore and progressive elements. An amalgamate maelstrom not to be missed.

12. False “Portent”

Gilead Media

This album is pain and loss in musical form. Engrossing black metal with scope, skill, and gorgeously constructed songs that pour out aggression and emotion like blood from an open wound.

11. Gatecreeper “Deserted”

Relapse

In a recent issue of Decibel Magazine, Gatecreeper referred to their sound as “Stadium Death Metal” and that’s an apt characterization of the band’s sound. They focus on writing huge, catchy hooks that audiences will remember. Mission accomplished.

10. Falls of Rauros "Patterns in Mythology"

Gilead Media

This is amazing, black and post-metal alchemy with a big, cinematic feel. Gorgeous melodies, folk atmospherics and masterful riffs make "Patterns in Mythology” mesmerizing from start to finish.

9. Blood Incantation "Hidden History of the Human Race"

Dark Descent

"Hidden History of the Human Race” is a cosmic roar of destruction that takes death metal to places it hasn’t been before. You’ll feel like you’re seeking out new life and new civilizations with every spin.

8. Weeping Sores “False Confession”

I, Voidhanger

If you asked me to describe the kind of music Weeping Sores plays, I'd tell you progressive death-doom with violin. But that label falls way short of capturing the dynamic and colorfully devastating experiment of "False Confession." Surprising and phenomenal.

7. Tomb Mold "Planetary Clairvoyance"

20 Buck Spin

The cover to “Planetary Clairvoyance” features a bio-engineered alien cyclops gestating in an otherworldly basement of sludge and stardust. The music sounds pretty much exactly like that description. This album also solidifies Tomb Mold as one of the best metal bands on our planet.

6. Arctic Sleep “Kindred Spirits”

Self Released

Dedicated to a beloved cat who passed away last year, “Kindred Spirits” is a stunning and emotional metal experience. In addition to the gorgeous, arresting music that deftly mixes doom, post-metal, ambient and a 90s rock sound that reminds me of Hum, Kieth D’s lyrics tug hard on my heart strings every time I listen. RIP Yoda.

5. Vastum “Orificial Purge”

20 Buck Spin

“Orificial Purge” is brutal with some of the most memorable, galloping riffs of 2019 and a triumphal, modern aura to it that makes it stand apart in the thriving death metal field. I’ve plunged into this orifice often.

4. Crypt Sermon "The Ruins of Fading Light"

Dark Descent

“The Ruins of Fading Light” is an album that has one boot in traditional metal and the other in doom. And both of those boots kick you in the gut with super-heavy impact. This album is thick with hooks, grooves and bombastic lead guitar solos, and the dynamic vocals by Brooks Wilson fill “The Ruins of Fading Light” with iron and emotion.

3. Crowhurst "III"

Prophecy Productions

"III” is a sensory spice blend of sludgy black metal, noise, shoegaze and electronica that feels like it was mixed inside a dark and dangerous heart. A truly unique and special album.

2. Cattle Decapitation "Death Atlas"

Metal Blade

“Death Atlas” is an apocalyptic masterpiece, featuring some of the sharpest and most sophisticated songwriting in 2019. The tracks are remarkably varied, delivering brutal riffs, theatrical and infectious vocals, and a real progressive sense of adventure. It’s also catchy as hell. “Death Atlas” demands repeat spins until you sing along and smile as the world ends.

1. Atlantean Kodex "The Course of Empire"

Ván Records

A long while ago, my friend Garrett played the first Atlantean Kodex album, “The Golden Bough,” for me in his metal basement because he thought I'd like it. He was right, as G often is about the kind of metal that speaks to me. The band followed that album with “The White Goddess,” which was a critically-acclaimed, grand triumph. It took another six years for Atlantean Kodex to release their third LP because the band is so meticulous about the way they make music. To tell you it was was worth the long wait is an enormous understatement. “The Course of Empire” is one of the greatest, epic metal albums of all time. If Iron Maiden and Manowar were magically merged inside a medieval cauldron during the Battle of Helms Deep this would be the soundtrack. It’s an exceptionally crafted collection of songs, featuring mountainous guitar riffs, soaring choruses and some of the best vocals and lyrics in metal this year from Markus Becker. “The Course of Empire” has the kind of breadth and scope that make me feel like the ancient worlds of my dreams – worlds forged by blood and steel – are calling for me to pick up my sword and make them real once more.

CLICK HERE FOR PART 1 (#21-40)

#metal top40 bestof 2019

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girlieinterns · 5 years

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Today’s Professional Confessional is with Girlie alumnus, Brittany Jones! Check out our interview below:

*What’s a recent release that you’ve been loving lately?*

BJ: I’ve had FKA Twigs’ new album, MAGDALENE, on repeat. “Fallen Alien” is a standout on the album.

*What are 5 words or less that best describe you as a person?*

BJ: I would describe myself as laidback and opinionated. Having a strong opinion can be helpful in the industry, but can get you into a bit of trouble if you bump heads with someone.

*Where do you work currently? Speak a bit about your position and the company itself.*

BJ: I’m currently at the Royalty Network, also known as RoyNet. I started there about three months ago as a part of their creative team. The pitching team is composed of myself and the VP of Creative, Lawson. This is the first time I’ve done sync creative in this capacity, other than some freelance work before this opportunity came up. It’s super fun and I enjoy it so much. My position mainly entails figuring out what to put the songs in our catalog into and talking with music supervisors directly. I like that my position is more in between the administrative and creative side of licensing. There’s a lot more face to face time, taking people for coffee, and getting to know them on a more personal level. There’s also a little bit of A&R work in what I do. We try to be at the forefront of what people need for their projects, currently, I’m on the hunt for KPop and more hip hop.

*What is a typical day like for you in the office?*

BJ: A typical day usually starts with checking to see what shows are happening to see if I have to put people on guest lists. I might have to get a supervisor on a list and contact artist managers to do so. I mainly do this for events in LA, more Film/TV, and NY, for Ad agencies. I’ll also send out blasts of who we’ve recently signed and what we’ve been working on. We have to be a bit selective of what we send to people based on their taste in music. I receive briefs from production folks and music supervisors, where they ask us for what they need for a certain project. I also upload music to SynchTank - a system that production people can get access to in order to hear everything that we have in our catalog. Everything in the database is tagged by genre, emotion, etc. If there is a specific lyric that repeats, we’ll throw that in as a tag too. We update that regularly through a master spreadsheet of almost one hundred thousand songs.

*What would people be surprised to know about your job?*

BJ: Listening to music for most of your day can get a little tedious, especially when listening to Christmas music in August. Also, there’s a lot of research that goes into generating and making playlists. People assume that you just make playlists with up and coming new music, but there’s a lot more research that goes into it. We sift through a lot of Indian music at RoyNet, which is a new world that I’m jumping into and requires a lot of research. There are a lot of layers that go into selecting music, in general. For example, Reggaeton can be tricky because of the common use of homophobic and misogynistic lyrics. We just have to be careful with what music we recommend for a project.

*Talk about the steps you took to get where you are now.*

BJ: I studied Management of Music Enterprises at Baruch College. I did a lot of internships, during and after college, to figure out what I really wanted to do in the industry. I went into Artist Management first. I found that some artists can be a bit needy, which I discovered I don’t have enough patience for, especially when receiving phone calls at 3am. Though you learn a lot in artist management when you’re doing every aspect of the business: booking flights, tour managing, connecting the right people for promoting releases, organizing schedules, booking hotels with specific mattresses, etc. I also loved working with my boss - he would sit down with me and go over Donald Passman’s Music Business book. I would pick a chapter I was interested in and we’d go in-depth about the subject. I went into licensing after I bounced around a bit at different companies and have stuck with it. I discovered the licensing world at Decon, which is now Mass Appeal, where I focused on a lot of legal aspects like contracts and negotiating. Later I was at Rough Trade Publishing for 4 years, which also entailed a lot of negotiating. Networks would hit us up and we would serve as the liaison between artists and the production/clearance people to license their works for sync.

*How did you know you wanted to get into music?*

BJ: I’m an only child and growing up I occupied most of my time digging through my mom’s records. I would sit and listen to all her 60s and 70s records. I would read the liner notes and be fascinated by all the people working behind the scenes. I’d look at the companies listed on the records and research them. In high school, I decided I wanted to go into the music business. Remember Lisa Loeb? *sings “Stay (I Missed You)”* She was doing a show and I swung by her meet and greet after the show. I asked her how I could get a job in the industry and she talked to her manager for me. That ended up being my first internship.

*What is a challenge that you are currently facing or have faced in recent memory?*

BJ: What do I actually want to accomplish in this industry? I knew I always wanted to work with music, but I’m not great at making music. Can I make/create the job I want?

*Are you still navigating what you do what to do?*

BJ: I really like the licensing area and the industry is constantly changing. When I first started, streaming wasn’t really a thing yet. Everyone was figuring out how to navigate this new platform. Netflix came out and the industry had to shift. This industry will continue to shift - constantly navigating.

*How do you feel your experience at Girlie shaped your career thus far?*

BJ: I developed relationships there that were really strong - I still talk to some of the people that I worked with there, even though most of them don’t work in the music industry anymore. It showed me that PR is more difficult than it seems and requires a lot of patience and hustle. For a number of reasons I also learned that PR isn’t really for me, which is okay!

*What advice do you have for networking?*

BJ: Say yes to everything! Go to every show, networking event, and interview you can. Get on mailing lists, Facebook groups, LinkedIn groups. Mostly anyone is willing to help you out if you need something, but you need to find and make those connections.

*What advice would you give your twenty-one-year-old self?*

BJ: Don’t be so mean to yourself - you’re doing better than you think! You’re doing fine and just keep going - you’ll get there…!

*What advice would you give to a Girlie intern looking to enter the industry?*

BJ: Never be afraid to leave a job. If you’re not enjoying what you’re doing, leave! Leave behind what doesn’t make you happy. Learn as much as you can during your time and don’t be afraid to move onto the next opportunity.

*Name an artist/band that everyone should know.*

BJ: Moses Sumney - his music is sexy, but also beautifully confident and hits you right in the gut.

Check out Moses Sumney’s latest release here!

Thank you again to Brittany for taking the time to meet and share your experience with me and some of the other Girlie Interns!

See you soon for the next installment of Professional Confessionals!

xKyle

#askaprofessional #professionalconfessional #girlieaction #girlieactioninterns #musicindustry #interview

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evakfanficsrecs · 7 years

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EVAK FANFICTION RECS / PART 10

Halla! So, as time comes and goes, I’m here with another masterpost of some of my favorite Evak fanfics for you guys. As you can see, I’m trying to be a bit more creative and make these posts look at least somewhat more appealing, so I hope you like this little header I made (even though I suck at Photoshop).

As always, the list is divided into oneshots and chaptered fics. My personal favorites are tagged with a “ ★ ”. Completed chaptered fics are tagged with a “ ✓ ”

Without further ado, all the fanfics can be found under the cut. Enjoy!

ONESHOTS:

the punchline to a very bad joke by clarabelle Summary: “Halloween?” Even inquires softly as he draws patterns on Isak’s bare shoulders. A shiver runs down the length his spine, and not from the cold October breeze.“ Lea asked me to take her. Pappa has to work, and Mamma…” Isak lets out a small sigh. “There’s no one else.” OR: Captain America, Vladimir Putin, and Princess Leia go trick-or-treating.

All Those Little Things by Evakoorhelm Summary: Isak comes home to the apartment that he's shared with Even for two years. To a suprise.

even, isak, and the four-week-old kitten by hippopotamus Summary: “You know how elephants are scared of mice because they have the intelligence to recognise that they might step on them and hurt them?” “I did not know that, Isak, but are you saying you’re scared of this tiny cat?”

Did you hear oxygen and magnesium got together? OMg by sugarbeat24 ★ Summary: Isak and Even are chemistry partners. Fluff and chemistry jokes ensue.

wish i could live in your heart by cynical_optimist Summary: Some mornings, Even will untangle himself from Isak completely, rolling out of bed to make breakfast. More often, he will try, and Isak will hold tight, and Even will stay, chuckling to himself and murmuring about octopi. These are the mornings Isak prefers, the ones where he can stare at Even’s face until he slips back into sleep or curl into him, every part of himself warm and safe.- Or, domestic mornings and being in love.

Accidental Pride by shakespeareandsunshine Summary: Pride!au; Isak lets Even pull him along and show him the sights. Sights that yeah, he could’ve seen on his own, but not like this, not the way Even sees them. Or: The one where Isak goes to Pride. Unintentionally.

Would You Mind Closing The Bedroom Door? by allyasavedtheday ★ Summary: The boy falters in the threshold, eyes widening when they land on Even. “Oh fuck- sorry! Eva didn’t say anyone was home.” Ah. No wonder she was up late last night. Even can’t really fault her taste – the boy is beautiful. He’s got golden hair mussed and curling over his forehead and cheekbones not even Michelangelo himself could sculpt and the most well-defined cupid’s bow top lip Even’s ever seen. Also he’s shirtless. Did he mention that part? There’s a stunning, shirtless boy in his kitchen with pillow creases still on his cheek and Even can’t do anything about it because he’s Eva’s one night stand. Fuck.

a letter to isak by alltimemarrit ★ Summary: Even is going on a trip for a week and leaves Isak a letter. Or: Even loves Isak a whole lot and is a massive sap.

snuggles by hippopotamus Summary: Even is sick and all he wants is snuggles from his boyfriend.

Afire Love by pressurerin ★ Summary: Isak can't seem to stay out of trouble. A hot firefighter makes trouble seem not that bad.

Before or after? by thekardemomme Summary: Before AND after Even posted to Isak's instagram.

Love As The Stars Went Out by Salambo06 Summary: “In some universe,” Even whispers, lips soft against Isak’s neck, “you are walking back home and I’m on your path, Isak.”

hell yeah, you the shit (that's why you're my equivalent) by colazitron Summary: Even can't keep it in his pants, or his heart. Or: Sometimes your boyfriend proposes and you just really want to sit on his dick.

The Joke is on You by winterpassing Summary: Isak has been dealing with Even and Eskild's pranks for a while now, but the most recent prank has come with an unplanned surprise.

lucky for you (that's what I like) by thekardemomme Summary: Isak is trying to be sexy, and Even is just not having it.

sweet creature (but we're still young) by kittpurrson ★ Summary: summer camp!au; Isak meets seventeen-year-old Even Bech Næsheim at Tyrifjorden on his fifteenth birthday. Or: the one where Isak tries to convince the boy next door to put his hands on him.

don't wake up (i'll be here for centuries) by eatthatup Summary: Even doesn’t find it weird, he’s had lucid dreams before. And it’s normal to dream about people you think you’ve never seen before. It’s all good, until he dreams about the blonde boy again.

Our Steady True North by verlore_poplap Summary: parenthood!au; Five times Isak and Even were amicable; plus one time they just weren't.

Make a spark, break the dark, find a light with me by LostInAdmiration ★ Summary: Isak can't sleep, so spends his nights wandering around the street. Even works the night shift at the store around the corner, and they bond over their mutual insomnia.

walk this town by sweetwines Summary: Isak Valtersen is late for class.

Venus by Skamtrash Summary: Even buys Isak a buttplug and tells him to wear it all day in school. Isak's desperate, he's horny and Even fucks him into oblivion.

now i'm back with the boys again by Rine Summary: So here’s the thing: Sana never intended to be friends with Isak Valtersen. If someone had told her even six months ago that they could be friends, she would’ve laughed and rolled her eyes. But it turns out, he's actually quite easy to get along with. Or, a fic about Sana gradually becoming friends with Isak and Even.

I Love You (Don't Leave Me) by i_once_wrote_a_dream Summary: “Tell me a story?” They do this sometimes. When the real world is too much and all they want is to melt into each other. Isak slides so that only his legs remain in Even’s lap and pulls his man into his chest. It’s awkward but neither want to let go of the other. Alternatively, Even talks about his past, and Isak loves him.

like a willow tree, intertwined by sonhoedesrazao Summary: Isak’s hand is shaking.

Christmas Surprises by bashfulisak Summary: Isak and Even celebrate Christmas together by going to Even's house for dinner.

It's Just a Cough! by bashfulisak Summary: Even comes down with a cold and Isak is determined to take care of him.

a light in your eyes by verlore_poplap Summary: A little oneshot about our boys. Set during sesong 4, episode 5.

Close but never close enough by diamondjacket Summary: “Isak,” Even repeats, quiet and a little awed, like he’s testing it out on his tongue. Sana narrows her eyes at him, trying to work out his angle. She remembers the way he used to fixate and focus, used to throw himself relentlessly into his passions, both old and new. Used to live and love and care with his whole body. But she’s never seen him like this.

before it's all too much by thekardemomme Summary: “It's in the past, Even. You can keep it there if you want to.”

Yes I'll meet you coming back (but we move forwards) by diamondjacket Summary: There’s nothing left to do but wait for Even to laugh, or yell, or leave. But, remarkably, Even doesn’t do any of that. Or: Isak tells Even about the thing with Jonas. It doesn't go the way he expects.

(kisses on the neck of) best friends by birthmarks, desert_coffin & kittpurrson Summary: Five times Jonas watched Isak and Even, and one time they did something about it.

relax, take it easy by lovedisak Summary: “Actually, my other mom, Therese is the one who loves film. She teaches at the art academy in Oslo, actually, she’s a musician, taught me how to play guitar,” Even smiles fondly. Isak blinks.“What?” he asks. He knows it’s a stupid question, there’s nothing about what Even said that he could ask this to but. What. “What?” Even shoots back, shrugging. Or, Even has two moms. Isak did Not know.

i need a man that makes it right by highpraises Summary: He feels his skin draw tight, his muscles tensing, Even fucks him just like that right up until Isak is just about to come, but then Even’s pulling out and kissing along his jaw, murmuring, “Don’t come yet, baby.”

friday, i'm in love by bbyfruit ★ Summary: Five times over the course of one day that Isak falls in love a little bit more, plus one time he talks about it.

if you have lost a right track then i'll lead you right back by kittenmichael Summary: “Even,” he whispers, as if it’s a secret Norway’s nights shouldn’t hear, “my tongue feels really weird.” Even chuckles at his boyfriend’s antics, before realising that he’s genuinely confused. “Kind of like cotton?” “Yes,” Isak says. “Like cotton.” Or, Isak gets drunk.

The one where Even tells it all by Schedazzle Summary: “Babe?” there was a little cloud from Isak’s breath in the cold air. Even couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t keep this in any longer, but he also couldn’t say it to that concerned look in Isak’s eyes either. Desperately gasping for a bit for air Even dived his head forward. Hiding his face in his favourite place. Pressing his cold nose against the warmth of Isak’s neck and finally getting some oxygen into his lunges. Breathing Isak in.

and i thank god i'm alive by thekardemomme ★ Summary: 5 times Even looks at Isak and 1 time Isak calls him out on it.

Ice Cream Parlor by bashfulisak ★ Summary: AU where Even works at an ice cream parlor as a summer job and Isak really likes the ice cream and he and Even play a game where Even tries to guess Isak's favorite flavor of ice cream but every time he gets it wrong, he gives Isak the ice cream for free.

promises by Isabeauu Summary: Even’s enjoying the wind in his hair and the cold air turning his cheeks red, his favorite song of the moment blasting in his ears when all of a sudden the music stops and his ringtone replaces it. He’s riding his bike, so he can’t see who’s calling but going through all the people he knows, Noora definitely isn’t one of the few he’d expected it to be.

kiss with a fist is better than none by DarkBeauty_890 Summary: “What the fuck,” Isak sighs, and grabs Even’s arm, “I swear I used to be a really good fighter. Have I ever told you about last year with the Yakuza?”“I am so fucking mad at you right now.”

Careful by bashfulisak Summary: Even rushes Isak to the hospital after the chaos with the boys and the next day Sana visits them.

Emergencies by bri_ness Summary: Even and Jonas talk in the emergency room. Set immediately after 4x05.

all he wants to do is party with his pretty baby by highpraises Summary: Even and Isak attend Even's very first movie's premiere.

Bright Eyes by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug Summary: Isak is a great singer. Several people are surprised. Happy karaoke where nothing hurts and Isak sings to his boyfriend.

Imagine All The People by samclarke0000 Summary: How the boys are feeling as Even performs and their reaction to him freezing - basically Isak worrying about his boyfriend.

We'll Be Okay by Dooka Summary: In which Even is drowning in his own guilt, Isak is boyfriend goals, and Sana gets some proper friends. Or, the aftermath of Episode 5.

Evak texts by Skamtrash Summary: Sexual Evak texts featuring a lot of memes and gifs.

settle down by allyasavedtheday ★ Summary: An archive of canon compliant oneshots. Can be read separately.

firing away as they gay by cosetties ★ Summary: Just because Isak and Even hooked up doesn't mean that Even actually cares about him, no matter how badly the meddling assholes he calls friends want them to be together.

Babysitting by bashfulisak Summary: Isak ends up having to babysit Even's seven-year old sister, Alissa.

Don't Come Easy by evakisgolden Summary: Even's last few loves were ruined by his bipolar disorder. Now he's fighting the aftermaths of a new manic episode, and he's certain that he isn't able to love Isak the way Isak deserves to be loved. He's positive that it will all end like his past relationships. It never comes easy with Even.

how far away the stars seem, and how far is our first kiss, and ah, how old my heart by elspethelf Summary: Isak and Even in the aftermath of the events at the end of 4x05.

No one gets to treat you like that by Gansey44 Summary: After Isak finds out what Mikael did to his boyfriend he decides to take matters into his own hands (literally)- no matter the consequences.

This feels like falling in love by ForEvenAndEver (yuraxchan) Summary: What if Isak had tried Grinder? Or, how Isak meets Even in the bathroom of a bar after a failed attempt at Grindr.

Draw The Line (Need To Know That You're Mine) by thesoulsailor ★ Summary: fake dating!au; Five times Even pretends to be Isak's boyfriend, and one time there's no pretend at all. Or the 5+1 Fake Boyfriend Evak AU we all deserve.

hold me close don’t ever let me go by sonhoedesrazao Summary: Isak is not beyond admitting that he might, on occasion, be a little dramatic.

CHAPTERED:

the city of illusions, the city of yearning by elisewin Summary: The whole point of going on a student exchange program is to meet people from different countries, learn about different cultures and so on. Isak, of course, falls in love with another Norwegian while in Rome.

Behind These Four Walls by Lisa94 ✓ Summary: AU in which Isak's mother is in a mental institution and one day when he goes visit her he sees a beautiful boy painting outside and as he waits for his mother to come join him he approaches the boy to see what is he painting and he sees, it's a painting of him. He sits right next to the boy who presents himself as Even and theycstart talking. Even explains he'd seen him coming to visit every weekend and thought he was the most beautiful boy ever.

Paint Me a Picture (With Your True Colours) by Evenbechbaesheim ★ Summary: Isak frowns, rolling over to bury his face into the soft pillow beneath his head. Up until that point, he’d still been asleep, Even’s long fingers gently brushing down the curve of his spine, lulling him into a carefree, floating state. There’s something magical about the way Even touches him- Isak swears that there’s some kind of mystical power his boyfriend is hiding. It shouldn’t be normal that every time Even’s skin brushes against his, every electrolyte in his body lights up and starts firing on all cylinders. Even moves his hand away, and Isak feels like he’s going to implode. Or, a collection of moments, told in any order, in Even and Isak's new life together, taking place in and around season 4.

Half Blade and Half Silk by smokeshop ★ ✓ Summary: uni!au; Isak's friends introduce him to an art student at a college party. He won't stop calling Isak baby and Isak's bad at pretending to hate it. College AU where Isak's past is a little more colorful but Even still won't leave him alone.

catch me a catch by Bellakitse Summary: Even and Mikael get kicked out of Bakka for a mysterious stunt and transfer to Nissen in the middle of their 3rd year. Even hates everything about it, except for the cute 1st year he’s seen around the school. Mikael doesn’t hate Nissen and in fact, has taken to amusing himself by spreading wild rumors about why they got kicked out and by the fact that his best friend has a crush on some kid. Still, Even his best buddy and he’s going to help him out. * A story where Even is mooning for Isak from afar, Isak is intimidated by the hot 3rd year everyone at school is whispering about, and who he’s caught staring at him and Mikael is the best the wingman ever.

boom! by ImSoSupernova Summary: Isak just wants a summer job. Eva's trying to figure herself out. But it only takes a bouquet of flowers, some newspapers, and some hot blondes to change both of their lives.

evak & yousana | the hot baristas by WritenStuff Summary: coffee shop!au; When Isak finds perfection works in the local coffee shop, he can't resist dragging Sana there for their biology study date.

Isak by sira89 Summary: Even sees Isak for the first time.

think i know where you belong by CarolineMiller Summary: childhood friends!au; Feeling exhausted, Even took the page out of the sketch book, tearing it and folding it carefully before placing it in the bottom drawer of his desk, along with all the others he had never dared to show Isak. With all the others he desperately wanted to show to Isak. "Another day ..." he murmured to himself, closing his window with resignation. Or, a childhood AU/friends to love in which Isak and Even spent their lives exchanging messages written on sketchbooks through their windows (and keeping many other messages, full of unspoken stuff, in the bottom of their drawers).

Come On, Set the Tone by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug ✓ Summary: HateToLove!au; Isak is a recently out popstar who wants to prove that he is not just another pretty face in pop music and has the skills to make his own way in the musical world (just like his newly found idol, Even Bech Naesheim). Even is a self contained, indie singer songwriter who takes shit from nobody - anyone in his cult following will tell you (including a certain popstar). Shortly after a public feud between the two begins, they’re forced together for a nationwide tour. 9 weeks, 50 shows, and countless hours (together) on the tour bus leave Even writing cryptic love songs and Isak wondering if he should leave everything he knows behind. Ft. BL!SS, Balloon Squad, Wireless Problems, Jonas, and the Wobbles.

Oh when you look at me like that, my darling, what did you expect? by Blueskyblack Summary: "You should really stop doing that", Even tried to reason. It was the middle of the night and though his guard was up, as usual when being around Isak, he wasn't in the mood to uphold it much longer. "Doing what exactly?", came the innocent-sounding response. Even raised his eyebrows at that while turning towards the only other person currently being in this kitchen with him. "Don't play dumb with me, Isak." Even sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, leaning against the cabinet opposite the kitchen counter where the sneaky little bastard was sat with his legs dangling in the air, observing every move Even made. Even let his eyes wander, took in the guy in front of him. Sure, there was no denying this guy there on the counter was attractive. Even could admit that, there was nothing wrong with that. Isak was cute. And attractive. Yeah. He just wasn't for Even.

let me count the ways by anathema (azirapha1e) Summary: The worst part, the humiliating part, is that he’d thought he was over all this. He had been. He hasn’t thought about any of it in months – but sometimes life fucks you over, and sometimes a boy you tried to kiss, a boy who pushed you away, shows up to your first-month-of-living-together party unannounced, and sometimes you end up bolting out of your own apartment to have a panic attack where nobody can see you.

as if by magic (thoughts of you are gone) by hippopotamus ✓ Summary: Isak hates being the third wheel to his best friends, until that means he gets to sit next to a handsome stranger on a rollercoaster.

Someone Somewhere Loves You by ReadingDreams07 Summary: uni!au; Even never thought that he would fall in love at first sight and on top of that at his school library. Now he is on a search to find the love of his life again. Too bad that this damn university was so big. But he never gave up and he will make this come true.

Crash Into Me by endlessandinfinite ★ Summary: "One boy who loves with his entire soul. Another boy who barely knows how to love at all. This is what happens when a shattered mind meets a lonely heart." Or: Isak and Even have hella issues but they can't help falling in love no matter what universe they're in. Even saves Isak. And Isak saves him right back. It's not all sunshine and rainbows. It hurts. But it's love.

torches (life's too short) by xxLeviBech ★ Summary: "My mom used to tell me my thoughts would pour out of my ears if I kept thinking too hard." Isak threw back another fry, keeping his gaze down. "That's pretty fucked up, man." Even deadpanned, making Isak snap his head up in a laugh ."Fuck you," He giggled, tossing one of the soggier ones at Even and being decidedly unimpressed when he caught it in his mouth. Or, a canon divergence AU in which Isak's childhood is exponentially more severe -- where he can't remember coming to school without bruises, a bottle of hand-sanitizer, and long sleeves. It's fine, he's fine. It wasn't for his friends, though; and that's how he wound up here, in a fold-up chair every Tuesday and Friday, talking about his experiences with other post-secondary kids diagnosed with some kind of PTSD. It's also where meets a guy whose name starts with the same letters as everything, because that's... exactly what he is.

LUST FOR LIFE. by kosektivet Summary: "In these stolen moments, the world is mine." An AU where Isak is 19 and out of the closet, but he's still pretty bitter. Even is 21 and he never met Sonja, but he's still charming as all hell.

don't wanna fight no more by boxesofflowers & Eeyoreneedsahug ✓ Summary: The events over the hiatus told in short form. Sana and Evak's friendship mostly. Updated daily.

I could fall, or I could fly. by Superflysister342 Summary: Even was nervous. Considering it was his first day at a new school, it shouldn’t have been that much of a surprise. But to Even, it was. This is how it all started... Or, the events of s3 told from Even’s POV.

Picture Perfect by Angelevak Summary: Isak is a semi-professional photographer living in LA, California. On his search for models to take photos of, some of which you wouldn’t see in a normal modeling company, he meets Even, an insecure boy who traveled to LA to become an actor. Even;s career hasn’t taken off yet, but with the help of Isak, can he finally get out there enough to achieve his dreams?

Nothing To Kill Or Die For by i_once_wrote_a_dream ✓ Summary: It’s Isak. His Isak. Bowed over, hands holding his face. Even doesn’t react immediately, but the others are pushing Isak back; yelling, screaming, hitting. Alternatively, Even and his thoughts during and after 4x05.

I'll give you the brightest sunshine by iheartpeterhale ✓ Summary: parenthood!au; It was something that they new would always happen, a life being brought into their lives that would make all the gloomy days into something so bright.

Martini Shot by BraveKate ✓ Summary: It’s not like Even had never spent any substantial one-on-one time with Marianne before. He just wishes Isak had more faith in all three of them. And worried less. Also, so there would be no war or hunger in the world. Simple things.

#even bech næsheim #isak valtersen #even x isak #isak x even #evak #evak fanfiction #evak fanfics #evak fanfic #evak fanfics recommendation #evak fanfics recs #skam #skam fanfiction #masterposts #i know this took me ages but i've been busy #at least it's long though!!#have fun <3

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