#i think im going to keep the prompts under 1000 words as well

[allylikethecat]

”you look adorable in my shirt” haha george’s shirt would consume matty this prompt is perfect for them

Hello Dear Anon! Thank you for sending in this prompt from the Fluff Prompt List I know this one hasn't been in my inbox as long as *some of them* have been, but I still apologize it has taken me so long to fill, this prompt, and all of the others! I'm a little out of practice with the prompts as well so I apologize that this one might be a little clunky - but I am very excited to get back into the swing of it! Hopefully more prompt fills will follow! Thank you again for sending this prompt my way and thank you for your patience. I hope you enjoy the result and thank you for the continued support! I hope you are having a wonderful week!

❤️Ally

WARNINGS: None

36. "You look adorable in my shirt."

George nearly swallowed his tongue when Matty finally burst into the rented studio space in a flurry of cold air, wild curls and red cheeks. He quickly tossed his jacket onto the chair in the corner, the Prada one that he had obsessed over before George had tossed his hands up into the air and stood up to find his wallet and credit card, ordering it for Matty himself purely so he didn’t have to hear about it anymore. It wasn’t the jacket that had given him pause. It was the tee shirt he wore underneath, the sleeves clearly too long and bunching around his skinny wrists, the hemline falling to mid thigh, reminding George of a mini dress or a sorority girl. 

Matty spun around and clapped his hands together, the collar of the tee shirt was stretched out, showing off a sliver of his collarbone even as he drowned in the excessive amount of fabric. “Sorry I’m late,” he said, as if he had been on time for anything, ever, in his entire life, “I wasn’t paying attention and missed the stop on the tube.” 

Only Matty would admit something so embarrassing, so freely, George thought hysterically, trying to reorder his thoughts so he could speak, so that he could tell Matty that it was fine, that it was expected at this point, really. What came out instead was: “You look adorable in my shirt.” 

Matty blinked, clearly not expecting that to be George’s greeting, but his confusion quickly morphed into a smirk, his lips, naturally more red than they had any right to be curled into a smirk. God, George thought, Matty was fucking pretty.

“Adorable?” he asked, fluttering his lashes at George teasingly, “you think I’m adorable?”  

George rolled his eyes, hating himself for giving Matty such ammunition, giving him another distraction to latch on to. Getting Matty to sit down and focus on the new album was like trying to herd cats. That’s why it was just the two of them meeting today, Ross and Adam had bowed out, telling George to call them when some actual progress was being made. 

“You know I think you’re adorable,” George said, begrudgingly, not able to deny it, because as much as he hated it, Matty was adorable, and he was extra adorable drowning in his tee shirt. 

He liked it when Matty wore his clothes, how it highlighted just how much bigger George was than him. Matty might have had the bigger personality, but George was larger in stature and the reminder of just how small, and how delicate Matty was in comparison always sent a shiver up his spine. 

He couldn’t help but wonder if Matty had done it on purpose, trying to distract him, before quickly banishing the thought. Matty had been so scattered lately it was a miracle he had shown up to the studio wearing proper clothing at all. He had left for the corner shop for a packet of cigarettes without shoes the day before, George chasing him down the drive in disbelief with a pair of slides in his hand. He had laughed, slipping on the sandals with flashing George the same boyish grin that he had fallen for all those years ago and ran his fingers through his curls. Chuckling that he’s just had a lot on his mind. 

“I still like hearing it,” Matty said, moving into George’s space, looking up at him, grinning, his eyes bright with mischief. 

“I guess I’ll keep telling you then,” said Geroge, leaning down to press their lips together, rucking up the tee shirt so he could slip his hand into the back pocket of Matty’s jeans pulling him closer. Matty hummed into the kiss and George found himself smiling against Matty’s lips. Matty really was fucking adorable, especially in his tee shirt. 

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Fireworks

Prompt: Okay, I might be a bit late, but in honor of America being, well, America, could I request a Virgil hurt/comfort where he gets freaked out by the fireworks? Love your writing btw - anon

I've been experimenting with shorter form prose and I kinda like it???

Read on Ao3

Warnings: none

Pairings: platonic dlampr

Word Count: 1000

Virgil doesn’t hate the Fourth of July except yes he absolutely fucking does.

No, he’s not gonna do the whole rant, that takes too long, most people who are on Tumblr already know it by heart, we’ve been there, done that, no need to beat a dead horse.

No there isn’t, Remus, put that down.

The point is Virgil likes the Fourth of July not one little bit mostly because it’s gaudy. Come on, the oversaturated red-white-and-blue? Eugh. Princey can pull off red the way he does because he’s Roman and Patton can pull off country-club-dad vibes without trying. Logan doesn’t like the Fourth either so he’s in no danger from that navy getting corrupted by gross displays of patriotic affection. The most they ever get from Logan is his ‘I Voted’ button which is perfect and all they need. Janus is yellow and more on the hating-the-Fourth trend than Virgil is. Solidarity.

Remus just likes the excuse to throw hot dogs and mustard at people. Sure.

Patton likes the Fourth because it’s a good way to spend time as a family, allegedly. It’s not like they have another choice, not with the way everyone wants to get together to celebrate. The man isn’t allowed near the grill. That’s the rule. Which is fine, just distract him enough for the cooking to be over and done with and everything’s fine.

Roman…also doesn’t really like the Fourth, but he does like the excuse to sing. Really loudly. Eh, Princey can actually sing, so it’s fine. And he will come and hide with Virgil in some out-of-the-way corner so they can complain about other people.

Logan gets into political fights.

Yes, you heard that right.

It’s not pretty.

Well, when everyone’s a little tipsier than normal and Virgil can stand to be around people he normally hates just to watch Logan fucking annihilate them, it’s pretty fucking satisfying.

Just dodge the hot dogs and keep Janus from running his mouth too much, that’s the deal.

No, the part he really hates is when it gets dark.

Fireworks are awful. He’ll say it. Sure, from a chemistry and marketing standpoint, they’re great. Fantastic. Continue to exploit the planet for temporary momentary and aesthetic appeal, sure.

He loathes the damn things. They’re so fucking loud.

And you never know exactly when they’re going to go off.

And the whole fucking day is just a lead-up to those fucking things, so if you leave before they happen or while they’re happening, everyone will talk about it. Oh, where’d you go? You missed the best part! Come back, the fireworks are starting, we can’t leave until they’re done. Just stay ‘till the end of the show, it’ll be fine.

No, no he will not.

So when he’s half-heartedly swatted at half a dozen mosquitos and sat down in a chair that had soda spilled onto it and threatens to buckle under his weight—thanks for those additional body issues, you limp cardboard excuse for furniture—he grits his teeth and tries to pull out his headphones as stealthily as he can. He’s learned from having his phones slapped out of his hands, or worse, confiscated, by too many haughty relatives that if he wants to try and protect himself when they start to go off, he’s got to do it carefully.

Not too carefully that his phone dies and his headphones won’t connect, though!

“Shit,” he mutters under his breath, “shit, shit, shit—“

He glances around. No way he’s getting out of here. No way. He’s trapped. He’s stuck. No way out. He’s going to have to stay here. They’re about to go off at any second and he’s stuck, nowhere to go, nothing to do, nothing to distract him—

Of course, he’s overlooked one thing. And that is that nothing happens to him without the others noticing.

So when Roman and Remus start loudly bickering about how hot it is and Roman flounces his way back inside with Remus chasing after him, he misses the look they exchange and the way Roman veers slightly to the left to crash into one of the rudest aunts they have.

He misses the way Logan discreetly pockets the last snack pack for Virgil as he stands, muttering excuses about keeping the twins in line.

He misses the way Janus carefully scoops him up, doing it in a clever way to make it look like Virgil is the one doing the leading as they scoot toward the door.

He misses the way Patton nods as Janus raises an eyebrow, distracting would-be worriers—real and fake—with thank-you’s and well-wishes and promises they won’t remember by morning.

He does remember the soft thud of the car door and the instant muffling of all the noises.

He does remember the way Roman’s hand cards through his hair and guides it to his shoulder, humming a song under his breath as Remus takes his hand and starts playing with it.

He does remember Patton turning the radio on low as Logan begins to navigate them home, Janus behind the wheel as he glances at Virgil in the back seat.

Roman softly asks if he thinks he can make it up the stairs home, helping him to the couch and placing the noise-canceling headphones over his ears. Remus plugs them into the headphone jack and hands the phone to Virgil before tugging Roman to help get the blankets set up.

Logan finds the documentary and they sit, opening his arms to welcome Virgil down with them. Janus and Patton bring the snacks in from the kitchen as Janus curls Virgil’s hand around the snack pack.

As the documentary plays, Virgil leans his head onto Patton’s shoulder and smiles.

He hates the Fourth, he loves his family.

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[rigelmejo]

march - just some thoughts

i have read more this month than any other month? and its not slowing down its only 3/12 so i have 2/3 of a month to go and i’ve read 26 chapters. even if these chapters are ‘short’ at 10 pages, if i wanna count by ‘20 page’ chunks i’ve still read 13 chunks so far. and i’ve still got more time in the month left. most other months i’ve managed to read ‘a lot’ i read 10-20 chapters. so i’m doing really good.

grammar is a weird thing? in reading i feel like its quite easy now to understand. when listening or watching - same. and yet if asked ‘why do i say/type X’ or ‘why is it written/spoken like X’ i have absolutely no explanation in my head. i could not explain the grammar if prompted. this puts me in a weird place and i feel like i SHOULD go over a grammar guide again just so i can WORD what i’m intuitively understanding.

this is a bit bizarre to me because within the first 6 months of study i DID read through an entire grammar guide just to get an idea of what i was about to look at, and it hardly made sense once actually reading/watching/listening. i understood the guide fine, but actually Seeing chinese i was still confused. i would reference AllSetLearning’s Chinese Wiki on some basic points, then after 6 months i just stopped. now its been what 1.5 years and - reading is so easy, listening is so easy, grammar wise. none of the grammar confuses me. but i no longer ‘explicitly’ have any idea what the fuck the grammar is. i used to. i studied it explicitly before trying to read/listen. and yet now that i can read/listen, i have no idea how to explain the grammar. i can listen to a podcast and i don’t think about what the grammar is i just get it. i read and just know what i’m looking at. its like english - i cannot fucking explain it. Which makes speaking/writing a bit hard. Because when i try to check if i’m right i have no fucking clue HOW anymore - i just say/write what comes to mind and HOPE it makes sense. i have no way to conciously check for errors except ‘does this feel right’? And that’s not good enough for me lol. So I definitely do need to eventually read a grammar guide for explicit explanations again.

Technically I think “English and Chinese Grammar Side By Side” grammar book would be an excellent one to use. Because i read the first 50 pages of it and it compared it to english (so it explained english too), and it was very easy to understand and started basic then got more involved. 

I’m probably gonna use my very old Chinese Grammar Self Taught by Thimm book instead. Just because I really like that book. Then I guess use another after (probably Basic Chinese Sentence Patterns since its modern and perfect for ‘catch your own mistakes’ study and much shorter than Eng+Chinese Grammar side by side). 

Anyway I’m in a very weird place right now lol. I know i’m understanding grammar that is stuff I never even studied initially in the grammar guide, but unable to explain what it is, and a lot of stuff i did explicitly study in a grammar guide i completely forgot the explanation for. My reading and listening is GREAT, because all my effort only has to go into learning new words lately! its relaxing! Its the only part i need to do! But my writing/speaking i am very concerned about because being able to check myself for mistakes is something i’d like the ability to do.

how grammar is presented really makes a difference in how well i get it. there is some serious benefit to ‘show simple first then build up what you know’ that text books tend to prefer. versus like grammar reference books that may start with some in depth stuff.

i tried to read a japanese grammar guide the other day and 1 it was great but 2 it covered some ADVANCED stuff i never learned in genki 1+2, and so it was Explicit grammar description of stuff i had literally years ago been immersing in japanese and Still not conciously known about. So i felt. Overwhelmed lol. I felt so confused. I feel like I might switch to Tae Kim’s grammar guide primarily just because its structured with basics covered first. and i feel like until the basics are again glued into my brain, seeing even more advanced stuff just confused me so much i had no idea how to remember it. which is funny because? my usual strategy with grammar guides is to just read it and let what sticks stick and what is confusing be moved on from, in the hope i will later see it again and understand it better. so like based on what i usually do i should’ve just been able to read through it (and i’m gonna try anyway lol). but truly japanese grammar just... my mind does not like wrapping around it and remembering it. (chinese grammar is so much easier for me... so much easier....;-; )

i have been tempted to just Restart Nukemarine’s LLJ (Lets Learn Japanese) memrise decks, because I KNOW they worked for me last time really really well. And they include Tae Kim grammar lessons. And I know if i did it then maybe i’d get back to where i was years ago pretty fast.

I tried Earthlingo app. Its a cool idea, I don’t think its worth it though unless you planned to get Rosetta Stone (since Earthlingo is FREE). Earthlingo features 1000 words per language, taught to you by exploring video game worlds as an alien. Its a cool concept, but since all words seem to be nouns then you aren’t even learning the most common verbs/adjectives. And 1000 words is not a lot. And you could learn 1000 quite fast if using srs flashcards like Memrise or Anki (think weeks if you push yourself, and a month or two months if going at a regular pace). Earthlingo you have to slowly explore the worlds so that eats time, you have to choose to test yourself (so you don’t review nearly as often as flashcard apps), and one test includes walking around the world clicking the object which you’re given the word for (takes time to find the right object). All this means a word that might take maybe 15 minutes to study over a few weeks, might instead take much longer to study and learn. I don’t use duolingo because it generally covers so few words (usually 2000-4000 i think which is good for a beginner resource but you have to do the WHOLE course to get to all those words and i take so long on duolingo that could take YEARS for me versus a month on a flashcard app or clozemaster). Duolingo I also don’t use because it very slowly paces learning material (it takes me months/years to get through 1000 words on duolingo - just personally i go so slow on it, i think faster people would find a use for it). Likewise Lingodeer takes me AGES to get through (and i think covers 2000 words nowadays? I’m shocked Duolingo has more words for the japanese course tbh). However, Lingodeer is by far the best ‘app’ for Japanese grammar lessons in app practice form. Even if basically all the apps feel pretty slow to me in how fast they give you new info. Earthlingo is cool that its free, and for learners 12 and under i think it would be super useful as a way to engage them and keep them studying (since what child likes flashcards? whereas as a child i would’ve loved this). But as an adult Earthlingo is sooooo slow on how fast you can learn words, and it does not even offer very many words (1000 is a nice bare minimum but without verbs/adjectives it can only be a supplementary learning tool for beginners at best).

Link about Lingodeer having 2000 words in a course. (Since its SO hard to lookup how much vocabulary lingodeer includes :c )

Nukemarine’s LLJ memrise decks (which I’m considering going through again but ToT agh flashcardssssss.... they sure do work though agh)

http://www.chinese-grammar.com/beginner/ - this is the site I read a chinese grammar guide on at like Month 3. I am rereading it now maybe it will help me remember wtf grammar explicitly is. ToT (A tip, read Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced sections). Last time I visited the site you just clicked a section, then saw each fully explained grammar point and clicked ‘next’ it was nice. Now its laid out a little less ideal for me, but its still got all the same nice info! (Also honestly if you are a beginner I really DO like this grammar guide... it introduces basic info first, gradually gets more complex, and i could follow its logic knowing like 200 hanzi and 100 words ToT. its very easy to understand even if it takes a while to apply that info).

im probably gonna read hanshe more today. i’m at the point where either i know enough vocab, or the writers style has just ‘clicked’ idk. but now i just am not getting bogged down by unknown words and am just. speeding through enjoying the plot. Also rip me this novel has 155 chapters and im only on chapter 30.

watching japanese lets plays is really fun! i feel like im 3 years old cause i just see nouns i can learn pretty easy in context cause i know the game well, and hear some vaguely familiar verbs, but its fun! also it helps i know kingdom hearts 2 like by heart so. a lot of it makes me instantly cheerful and nostalgic. roxas’s voice is so cute in the japanese version.

oh i almost forgot: I found a book recently for chinese that for it’s like 10 page grammar guide summary at the beginning ALONE i think is more than worth the 4 dollars it costs to get. It has a ton of compound words and its a reference book in mandarin and cantonese (it has pronunciation for both, all characters are in traditional). I got it initally because it as a bunch of compound words and I’d like to get better at knowing a lot of common ones. But the intro to the book has a page explaining sentence structures in chinese, then examples. Its so straightforward and to the point. I love it. The book is “Understanding Chinese: A Guide to the Usage of Chinese Characters” by Rita Mei-Wah Choy. (There is also a companion book for individual hanzi, which is nice but this book specifically I’m finding more useful).

what i really like about Listening-Reading method, and reading, as study activities: no matter how I do them it is only improvement. I have a tendency to ‘redo’ material i don’t feel i fully mastered, or refuse to move on. So when i have duolingo, flashcards (sometimes i can move on if i ignore reviews/make myself do new stuff), books, grammar guides, self guided classes - i have a tendency to redo the material. over and over. and not progress and challenge myself. whereas with reading - every time i look up a word its useful because its new or something i clearly Need to review (not something i’ve actually learned and can move past reviewing). so whether i reread material or read new stuff, as long as i run into things i find somewhat challenging (feel the desire to word look up), i know i am running into new material i can learn. Same with listening-reading method: whether i finish a book or just skip to random books, any new chapter i do will give me new words to learn/remember (until i’ve reached a point of perfect listening comprehension which is a WAYS away). There’s no way for me to mess it up. I can give up a book im bored with, i don’t have to stick to one resource to the end. 

someone tell me why professionally made chinese audio books almost NEVER line up to the chapters???? whyyyyy ;-;

Even More Notes lol:

So I read so much in Pleco, which auto pronounces, I have COMPLETELY forgot. 得 地 - for these two, when they’re attached after a description like 淡淡 慢慢 高兴 etc, when are they pronounced di versus de???? i’m pretty sure  得 is pronounced de when its an adjective like ‘-ly’. but for  地, i don’t remember if when part of a describer if its pronounced di or de????

[gingerwritess]

HIIIII!!!!! After reading where Loki sings and then with Baby No. 2 on the way 😍😍😍😍😍 can I request a drabble or something where Loki and the pregnant reader are lying in bed and Loki is singing to the unborn baby? Love you! Keep up the awesome work!!!

this was supposed to be 200 words. well over 1000 words later, have a drabble:

inspired by some requests for “your bed after travelling” from the sensory prompts list! psiwrotethesonglokisingsihopeyoulikeitikindado

— — — —

The blister on your heel has to be bleeding by now.

Your back, too, screams for relief—carrying the extra weight of a half-frost giant baby pulls at your bones, joints, muscles.

You try not to let it show, but the last flight of stairs to the street brings a pained whimper from your throat.

Loki pulls you into his arms before you even have to ask.

The trip was a nice distraction for a little bit, but with Loki off most of the day busy with meetings and negotiations, you’d been left trying to vacation with a hyper five year old and a very, very pregnant body that didn’t quite want to leave the pantry.

Watermelon, this time. And this damn hotel in the middle of this godforsaken metropolis only gave you instructions to the nearest grocery store.

Loki would simply pull a freshly cut watermelon out of thin air for you. Loki would go and get you anything you could ever wish for, draw you a bath, rub your back, and read Elliot a book to give you some peace and quiet.

Loki carries you to the cab—per your own request, since teleportation does nothing to help morning sickness—and he holds you close the whole drive home. One arm tucks you snug into his side while the other tries to keep Elliot in his seat, who’s far too excited at the prospect of not having to be in a booster seat for this car ride.

“Are we there yet?”

“We’ve been driving for four minutes, Elliot. Please.”

What feels like an eternity passes, and this time you have to ask.

“Are we there now?”

“Not you, too,” Loki groans, his head lolling back onto the headrest. “See, if I could just move us—”

“Nonono, don’t turn this on me!”

“I’m not turning this—”

“I GOTTA PEE!”

It takes a few more stops and a couple more minutes than planned, but before long you find yourself home, head throbbing and knees stiff and ankles screaming bloody murder.

Facing another flight of stairs.

(Only four, but who’s counting.)

Elliot joins you in your breakdown this time.

“Come here,” Loki sighs, sending the suitcases to inside with a flick of his fingers. He tucks an arm under your knees and one around your back, lifting you from the ground before you can blink the tears from your eyes.

“My hero,” you sniff, and throw your arms around his neck.

This baby will be a drama queen, you just know.

Before Loki can carry you inside, Elliot hauls himself off the ground with a sniffle, his little plush hedgehog tucked snugly under one arm.

“Me, too, daddy. Please?”

He lifts his arms—and hedgehog—up to reach for you.

Big green eyes blinking up at him, Loki can’t bring the word “no” to the tip of his tongue.

Instead he finds himself sighing, kneeling down with a tight hold on you to let Elliot clamber onto his back.

“Forgot how to walk, hm?” He asks his son with a smile, carefully climbing those unbearable four steps and letting Elliot back down.

The little boy shakes his head. “It’s called simple-thee pain. If momma hurts, we all hurt.”

“…right.”

You muffle your laughter in Loki’s shoulder.

“Go unpack your bags,” Loki tells him, nudging him towards his bedroom. “We’ll all hurt together in a minute.”

Elliot runs off to his room, leaving Loki to carry you to your own room; he steals a quick kiss before setting you softly on the bedspread.

The moment you touch down on that mattress, a blissful sigh leaves your lips.

Good kiss. Nice call.

Loki gives himself a mental pat on the back.

“Loki. Unpack later, c’mere.”

He looks up from the suitcase to find you sprawled, a hand draped over your giant belly. Toes scrabble against your heels as you try to kick your shoes off, flinging them across the room when you do.

“Comfortable?”

“Euphoric,” you groan, and give your ankles a few relieving circles.

“Here.” A soft smile on his lips, he lays a hand on your bump of a stomach, seamlessly changing you into your sweats.

You nearly curse aloud, grabbing your pillow and smushing it to your face.

“You spoil me.”

Loki just breathes a laugh, settles onto the foot of the mattress, and sets to work loosening up the tense muscles of your legs.

“My favourite pastime,” he murmurs, fingers working magic while you breathe in your home.

Loki. Elliot. You. The sheets are softer than you remember, and you’d give anything to be able to roll onto your stomach and bury your face in your pillow until you drift off.

But with this beach ball of a stomach, you settle for sprawling on your back, sinking into the mattress until it remembers your shape and the cotton candy clouds you get to sleep on swallow you whole.

“I’m never leaving this bed ever again.”

Loki hums quietly, mildly amused.

“Cuddle with me?” You ask, lifting your head to try and see him—only to be blocked by your belly.

“Of course.”

He takes a moment to change into something more comfortable—those softer-then-silk trousers are your favourite—and stretches out on the mattress beside you with a sigh.

There’s a pause—he shifts, searching for that perfect position—and groans in satisfaction.

Sinking into liquid gold.

“Nothing will ever understand me like my bed does,” he breathes, eyelids fluttering shut.

Long legs slip under the covers, sliding too smoothly against the perfectly cool sheets, and he lets out another sigh, warm and cool and safe and free by your side—

“Cuddle.”

You tap him on the chest, eyelids already drooping, breaking the enchantment long enough to bring you into this dream.

“Oh, absolutely.”

He scoots closer to your side, wrapping his arms around you to rest one on your belly, his head nestled into the curve of your neck.

A moment passes in perfect silence, his thumb brushing over the curve of your stomach every few seconds.

“Could you sing for us?” You whisper, breaking through the quiet. “Last time you did, she kicked.”

Half a grin tugs at the corner of Loki’s mouth. “Of course. Anything in particular?”

“Something…you.”

“Great. Okay.”

It’s quiet for a moment longer while he thinks.

Then…

“Round the borders and under the bridge, the frost-king tries to flee…around the throne he runs and hides, only stopped by a winter breeze.”

Entranced, you listen, his voice clear and crisp and quiet in your little bedroom as it dips and soars.

“‘I see you,’ said the breeze, so the frost king had to freeze. From his hand the ice broke the throne and the frost-king tries to flee. Round the forests he runs, only stopped by a winter breeze.”

There’s the kick.

Loki’s voice clips at the tiny movement, but he sings quietly on, trying to coax another from the unborn baby.

“‘What have you to fear?’ Asked the breeze, for the frost-king trembled with the leaves.” He sings softly, hand flat next to yours waiting for the little fist or foot to hit. “‘Only I, only I,’ he cried wistfully. Oh, the breeze followed when he ran, angered by his bitter flight.”

Loki’s voice slows, and you run your fingers through his hair, unable to break the spell he’s cast across the room.

He takes a slow breath, lays his head on your stomach.

“For what is a breeze but a storm-king, whose mother wrapped him tight for the night.”

Huddled in the doorway, Elliot listens.

The baby kicks again and you both share a quiet laugh; at that, Elliot runs into the room, wriggling his way between the two of you.

“I wanna say hi,” he whispers, laying his little hand next to Loki’s. “Can I cuddle with you, too?”

The baby kicks right away, bringing a giggle to Elliot’s lips. “Hi, baby.”

Loki wraps him tight in a hug, scooting closer to your side so the three of you can huddle together, warm and cold all at once and really, really happy to be home.

“I missed this bed,” your little boy sighs happily, nuzzling into your embrace.

“What about your bed, little giant?”

“Meh. It’s alright. Yours just…ahh…it soothes my soul.”

You snort and Loki bites back a laugh, instead pressing a sweet kiss to the top of his head.

“Don’t let us interrupt.”

―   ―   ―   ―

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[hegglespeggles]

How to write an essay you could not care less about in 10 steps

Hello. I have an essay to write.

I am also, (unfortunately) the kind of lazy, apathetic burnout who will only do my FUCKING work if I get really worked up. Usually that ends up meaning all of my papers are spite-fuelled tirades but my profs seem to like them so fine. I hope you find this particular raging tirade useful.

Today, I would like to educate the 4 of you that will actually see this on a fine art I have perfected over the years. Writing a paper, about which, you do not give a single, solitary, crumb of a fuck about. This is (you may have guessed) and excellent way for me to procrastinate doing a paper that *I* do not give a single solitary crumb of a fuck about. For best results, I recommend doing this NIGHT-BEFORE-PANIC like, a week in advance so you can fix all the NONSENSE that your more reasonable brain will undoubtedly find. But if it’s the night before and you are shit outta luck, this will get ‘er done. And with practice, you can even pull good grades outta these bitches.

 Dissociating? I gotchu. Woke up the day of the deadline to feel like absolute utter garbage? Search no more friends.  

  FAILING GRADES ARE BETTER THAN ZEROS JUST FUCKIN DOOOOOO ITTTT

1.    Go get the prompt.

I fucking mean it. Even if you are like 1000% sure you know what the prompt is asking, go to the FUCKING assignment, and copy that shit into your word document. Got the assignment on paper? TYPE THAT SHIT UP MOTHERFUCKER.

(Do you see what I fucking have to deal with)

Boom?

BOOM.

Congratulations, you now have a document, and whats more, there are WORDS in it!! You aren’t starting from scratch anymore kiddo. Fringe benefit, you always know EXACTLY what the assignment wants because its fucking Staring You Down. Not saying you have to do exactly as it says, mama didn’t raise no BITCH and I aint scared of fuckin CALLING PROFS OUT but if you wanna break the rules you gotta know what they are first

(Disclaimer: I have also been kicked out of class on numerous occasions for fighting with the prof and had full classes where the lecture WAS me arguing so maybe take my opinions of conformity with a grain of salt.)

2.    Math THE FIRST

I know, this is an essay and not a fucking calculus test. But some of this shit is USEFUL OKAY

Take the paper in question. How long does it have to be? Mine is 5 pages. A page is generally accepted to be 250 words (double spaced because we FUCKING LOVE OURSELVES) so 5 x 250 = 1250 wds. That’s the goal. That’s the pinnacle. That’s your new holy grail.

Time to split this bitch up

  3.    Yarrrrrr, CONTENT

And finally, we get to the part that is the reason why you are being an absolute bitch baby about this essay (maybe. I might be projecting. Your life is your life and im sure youre doing your best.) I Hate this part, but now with our magic number we don’t need to pull 5 pages out of the ether.

This part really requires you to know your vibe. Is this something that you have a lot of little opinions (read: evidence) about or like, only 2 or 3 big bois? Look deep into your soul and figure out which is the easiest for you to shit out, a rant or a list. a  great way to do this is to WRITE ANYTHING YOU GOT OUT

Here you can see I’ve put all of the thoughts I have about the question into a list, slapped some standard “opening” and “closing” shit around it so I can FUCKING FIND IT AGAIN and given it a good hard look. Whats the common thread in all of my opinions? That the prompt is fucking stupid and makes no sense is asking 2 different questions. Congratulations: you found your thesis. This essay, like many of my essays, bears the thesis “this is a weird question to be asking” (which falls under my broader category of “bitches aint shit” essays.)

Congratulations you have the bare bones of your skeleton.

  4.    MATH THE SECOND

 The magic number returns. All hail our glorious leader. 1250 right?

So heres how I break this down. Break off a small chunk at the beginning. For this essay im gonna split off the 250. Split that baby in half. Congratulations, now you have a word count on your opening and closing. Personally, I know I like a lil extra space at the end to get all ranty, so Imma split this puppy up 100 for my opening and 150 for the closing. WARNING: You will think that you will be able to write enough in your opening and closing to take up lots of space. You will feel the urge to give them both the same amount of words that you give your points. This is misguided and foolish. Not only will you 1) not be able to do it but 2) even if you did, that’s like getting a sandwich which is all bread. No one wants that. Don’t be that dude. Fight the urge.

 RIGHT SO. We’re still left on the other 1000 words.

If you have an idea that like, is bigger than the others, go ahead and give that puppy more of the word count than the others, fractions are your friend here and you wanna think about how much of your final product each of these babies will be. If you, like me, are an utter buffoon with no clue what youre doing, open your calculator up. Divide the remaining word count by the number of points you have. Congratulations. Youre doing the essaying.

If this is enough to get you started, GREAT! See you at step seven. BEFORE YOU GO I would like to give you this tip

5.    CITE YOUR INFORMATION AS YOU ADD IT IN.

It doesn’t need to be a full citation, just literally a footnote with something that will help you remember where its from and for the love of god WHAT PAGE IT IS ON. The you of 3 hours from now will thank you.

  6.    Filling in the skeleton

 I don’t know about you, but I cant exactly riff off of a single sentence. Like, I know what the VIBE of my point is, but like, I cant pull it out of a hat. The name of the game here is whittling down your arguments into thinner and thinner chunks that are easier and easier to bullshit. This is how you avoid that “burning building found in flames during Brooklyn fire” bullshit that memes. You don’t wanna meme. You wanna pass. So, figure out what the things you are gonna say and in each bit, keep track of how many words you are gonna write. EITHER

a)      You put how many words you think you can write on any point beside the point as you go and just keep developing points and shuffling word counts around until it matches the total for that section

or

b)     You evenly breakup the word count between all the points and keep breaking them down until you look at a subject and a word count and go “yeah that’s doable. I can do that.”

I prefer the second so LEGGO.

Ta-Da!

7.    Write ‘er up

Ahhh glad to see we’re all back together again. Try-hards who can ACTUALLY bullshit papers, glad to see you’ve rejoined us! This is the part where you take all that shit you’ve broken up into nice little chunks and you turn it into something worth reading. You can do it. I believe in you. Try and keep your citations in place.

I like to do this as a question answer thingy, like an exam, so halfway through writing mine is gonna look like this

 The handy part about the numbers is that it gives you a frame of reference for how your bullshit is going. Realized you had a lot more to say here than you thought? Dope! Less bullshit somewhere else, take it out of a weaker point. This point didn’t give as much as you thought it would? Split the difference elsewhere! This way you have checkpoints and you can see how your essay is going

And then you can go ahead and delete your skeleton work. Its time. Its served you well. For extra drama, whisper menacing nothings to it as you send it into the darkness. Personal favourites include “no one will mourn you,” “your fate belongs to me,” and “so this is what you have come to”

  8.    Citations

Theres like a million ways out there to find out how to do your citations and its gonna depend on what kind of a paper you are writing. I use Chicago most of the time, including here. My advice? Use a site like, bib.me or something to do your bibliography, and then plaster that in the bottom of your document. Use that as the building blocks to do your footnotes. Let Purdue Owl be your guide. Purdue Owl Style Guide Is A Mighty Friend Indeed.

 Also your welcome for that, “putting the page numbers in as you put the info in” shit. That took me alarmingly long to figure out. It’s a wonder theyre giving me a degree.

  9.    Proofread that shit, ya bougie bitch.

If you wanna be time effective, getting a friend to proofread while you do your citations is a great way to go. If you have a few days, put your paper away and come back to it. If you are out of friends and time then https://www.paperrater.com/ is your last hope.

  10.       Slap a title page on that shit and GET IT SUBMITTED

 No joke, I have been using the same template for a coverpage all through highschool and my undergrad. There is only one title page and every time I write an essay I take the title page from the last paper I wrote. There is no beginning. Only title page. Title? Topic of paper: point of paper. For example, If I had to title this screed I’d call it Essay Writing: An exploration of mediocrity. slap the date and your name and the course and instructor on there and BAM. YA DONE.

 Anyway submit that shit an go to bed youre done goodnight

EPILOGUE

I’ve gotten this essay back, and when I wrote it, I was barely a human being. Barely capable of human speech let alone a coherent argument. I would forget the end of the sentence by the time I typed out the beginning. But I still for a 70%! is it the best mark I’ve ever gotten? no! but it is a hell of a lot better than the 0% I would have gotten if i hadnt done this. I get it. And i hope this helps. 

[seokkie123]

Swish

-- showho, rated T, 1.7k words

for the prompt “weightlifting fairy kim bok joo” on twitter! I haven't watched this show, but I googled the plot and then somehow came up with this although it isn't exactly the same. also I really did not think it would be this long asdfgh I didn’t wanna write out full sentences so I did this script type thing, but the next thing i know the damn thing is over 1000 words smh @ myself. anyway I hope you enjoy uwu

Lee Hoseok: champion weightlifter of X University, won multiple awards with his impressive display of strength despite having a somewhat leaner frame, however his personality is a complete 360 from his body— the softest man you’ll ever meet, cries at sad movies, loves his family to death, strangely does not seem to have many friends...

Son Hyunwoo: supposedly captain of X University’s pro level swim team, probably has the same number of trophies as disqualifications... no doubt the best on the team but rarely shows up to practices, has the body of a greek god but his aloof, occasionally rude personality turns people away

Lee Jooheon: Hoseok’s close friend, training to lift weights himself, is the only one that knows Hoseok’s story, and why he doesn’t have many other friends, warm and friendly but don’t piss him off

Yoo Kihyun: Photographer and reporter for X University’s newspaper, has interviewed Hoseok several times, and Hyunwoo only once for 5 minutes, may have a thing going on with Changkyun but don’t tell Hyunwoo

Lee Minhyuk: one of the few rays of sunshine in Hyunwoo’s life, Hyunwoo’s roommate and close friend, also one of the only people Hyunwoo trusts to tell the truth about Changkyun

Chae Hyungwon: kind of a mystery since he’s either asleep, drowning in a hoodie and long hair, or modeling for Kihyun, used to date Jooheon, extremely observant and knows more than the rest think he does

Im Changkyun: Hyunwoo’s adopted younger brother, knows how soft Hyunwoo really is, very sheltered by Hyunwoo after what happened in their past, rarely leaves the house, instead studying on his own and winning scholarships to keep them both from drowning in debt

—-

Scene starts with Hoseok complaining to Jooheon about wanting someone to cuddle, someone to love. They’re studying at the library but Hoseok keeps getting distracted by a couple seated a few rows away so Jooheon proposes an idea.

Jooheon: You know what? Today’s the day. [slams hands on his desk]

Hoseok: Huh?

Jooheon: We’re gonna get you a boyfriend. Or at least kickstart your nonexistent love life. Come on, pack your stuff, you’re not doing work anyway. I know exactly where to go to find guys your type.

Hoseok: [flailing] Wha— wait—

They leave the library, Jooheon briefly pulling Hoseok behind a wall to avoid talking to his ex before heading over to the campus gym.

Hoseok: [pouty] Jooheonie, I work out here all the time, I won’t find anyone—

Jooheon: [puts his hand over Hoseok’s mouth] No. Tell me who you like and I’ll make it happen.

They watch people entering and leaving the gym for a few minutes, then Hoseok finally points to someone talking to the guy at the counter.

Jooheon: [visibly pales] Don’t point at him!! You’re... You’re kidding right?

Hoseok: [innocently confused]

Jooheon: Fuck, you’re not kidding are you.

Hoseok: No? He looks hot.. I mean he’s probably too hot for me but—

Jooheon: No, no hyunggg... that’s Son Hyunwoo, captain of our swim team.

Jooheon goes on to tell a wide-eyed Hoseok about Hyunwoo’s reputation.

Hoseok: Really? Are you sure those aren’t rumors... If he’s the captain then there’s no way he can be that bad..

Jooheon: I’m just telling you what I know but if you still want to go after him then it’s your call.

Hoseok: Hmm... I might. Not because I want to date him but because I want to know more about him.

Hyunwoo is seen leaving the gym, walking their way.

Jooheon: Hyung, don’t do something stupid—

Hoseok: [determined] The first step of my plan is to get him to notice me! So I’m just gonna walk by and pretend to be on my phone and bump into him, wish me luck!

Hoseok walks his way, weaving through a few other people walking by, and ducks his head, pretending to be absorbed in his phone. But he hadn’t taken into account how fast Hyunwoo was walking, and before he can stop, they quite literally collide, and Hoseok is pushed away.

Hyunwoo: [not looking at him] Stay the fuck away from me.

Hoseok: [rubbing his arm, upset and mad] Wha... What the hell?!

Jooheon: [runs up to Hoseok once the coast is clear and Hyunwoo is gone] Hyung!! Are you okay?!

Hoseok: No! He can’t just do that me, he doesn’t even know me!

Jooheon: Aaaah, I knew something bad would come out of this... He’s just like that sometimes, don’t take it personally.

Hoseok: [furious] I have to take it personally! He pushed me and was downright rude to me and im gonna make him apologize! [rushes off in the opposite direction]

Jooheon: [softly] What have I done?

Next scene has Hoseok outside of the swimming pool, waiting to confront Hyunwoo. Most of the other guys are out of the water since practice ended a few minutes ago but Hyunwoo is still swimming laps, much to Hoseok’s annoyance. After 10 minutes he finally gets out and Hoseok rushes in.

Hoseok: [stuttering] Son Hyunwoo!! [starts to fluster while watching his dripping wet body]

Hyunwoo: [glances over] Do I know you?

Hoseok: [almost shaking under Hyunwoo’s gaze] You should. You shoved me and were rude to me for no reason!! I want an apology!

Hyunwoo: [watches Hoseok bored] I think you have the wrong person.

Hoseok: I don’t!! It was two days ago, outside the gym, I was walking by and bumped into me and then told me to get the fuck away from you or something!

Hyunwoo: [blinks] Ah. I remember now.

Hoseok:....and?

Hyunwoo: I wasn’t talking to you.

Hoseok: What?! So it wasn’t you who pushed me either?? Just admit you’re a dick and apologize to me.

Hyunwoo: Hey...

Hoseok: [shrinks a little, stepping back] It really hurt my arm you know... and what kind of person just goes around saying...

At that moment a few swimmers walk by between Hyunwoo and Hoseok. Hoseok steps back to give them space, but then slips and falls right into the pool. The other guys maybe let out a few laughs but quickly move on, not bothered to stay. Hyunwoo seems puzzled, but doesn’t do anything until it’s clear Hoseok can’t swim.

Hyunwoo: [sighs] Of course he can’t swim..

Without much grace, Hyunwoo dives back into the pool and easily lifts Hoseok to the surface. Hoseok is coughing, clinging onto Hyunwoo and quite honestly looks miserable. Looking down at him, Hyunwoo feels something strange for a moment.

Hyunwoo: You should really stay away from pools if you can’t swim.

Hoseok: [still coughing, shaken up]

Hyunwoo: Well, I guess now is a good time to tell you I really wasn’t talking to you when I said to leave me alone. I had my earphones in one ear, and I don’t think you saw. And for shoving you... you kind of were in my way. [shrugs, a little awkward] I... I’m sorry I hurt your arm though.

Hoseok: [out of breath, not meeting Hyunwoo’s eyes once he realizes he’s still clinging onto him, and Hyunwoo hasn’t let go either] You... you’re bad at apologizing.

Hyunwoo: Thanks. I don’t do it much, so consider yourself special.

Hoseok: [blushes a tiny bit, unsure of what he meant by that]

Hyunwoo: [finally becomes aware of the fact that they haven’t moved, and treads them over to the steps out of the pool] Here, get up.

Hoseok: [frozen] I... can’t move my legs.

Hyunwoo: [supresses a sigh] Okay then hold onto me. [shifts Hoseok around onto his back, and with some effort, piggybacks him out of the pool]

Hoseok: [wobbles over to a chair and collapses in it] Um.. thanks for saving me. I’m sorry I called you a dick. [his teeth start to chatter]

Hyunwoo: [stares at the sight of a drenched and weak Hoseok for a second before leaving to the locker room]

Hoseok: [confused and upset when he doesn’t come back, gets up to head home while leaving a trail of water behind him, kind of wanting to cry] He... just left me... I guess this is my fault for overreacting again...

Hoseok makes it all the way through the sports facility, attracting stares as he does, and sniffling until he hears someone calling out.

Random guy: [running towards Hoseok] Hey! Hey you!

Hoseok: Me?

Random guy: You know there’s like no way the bus drivers will let you get on while you’re drippin water everywhere right?

Hoseok: [feeling close to tears again] I know. I was gonna walk home.

Random guy: Really? How far of a walk is it?

Hoseok:.... like an hour and a half.

Random guy: [laughs] Okay. Well if you wanna walk then I won’t stop you, but if you’d like towels and dry clothes we do have some—

Hoseok: Yes!! I mean.. yes, please. But where... how...

Random guy: Almost all the guys on the team always keep spare clothes in their lockers. The older guys tend to try and push everyone else into the pool as a prank... senior privileges. [brings Hoseok into the locker room]

Hoseok: [nervously glancing around hoping not to run into Hyunwoo, but at the same time wishing he could talk to him more]

Random guy: Hey, do you have the clothes?

Random guy #2: I need to talk to you. [glances at Hoseok] Dude, you look pathetic. Take these towels and dry yourself off, we’ll be back.

Hoseok: Oh... [watches the guys leave to have a hushed conversation a few lockers down, sighs and drys his hair and body as best as he can]

Once the guys come back, they have some clothes in their arms. They seem a bit nervous for some reason, but Hoseok is too grateful and happily accepts them anyway. He quickly throws the shirt and jeans on, liking that the shirt hangs a bit loosely on him. Hoseok thanks them again as he rushes out of the locker room, needing to get home and recount the happenings of today to Jooheon.

——

Scene changes to Hoseok getting off the bus at his stop. There seems to be some construction going on, so he takes another route to get to his tiny apartment.

He turns a corner, and almost bumps into someone.

Hoseok: [yelps, and jumps back so they don’t collide before staring up at him in horror]

Hyunwoo: [just looking Hoseok up and down]

Hoseok: Um. I didn’t know you lived around here— I was just— There was construction so— I’ll leave [tries to rush away from the awkward situation]

Hyunwoo: Wait.

Hoseok: [freezes]

Hyunwoo: Why are you wearing my clothes.

Hoseok: [internally having a meltdown] ...why is this my life.

~ to be continued ~