#i think its just the vocals that throw me off the processing doesnt really work when theres not the backing to accompany it

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[wavetapper]

huh hyperpop in bms real

[cynettic]

How to Dom Genshin Men 101

Summary - Tips, tricks, and the unofficial guide of how to dominate genshin men in bed. ( Not really- just tips and a quick sneak peak )

Pairings - Fem!Reader x Albedo / Diluc / Kaeya / Childe / Kazuha / Venti /  Zhongli / Dainsleif / Scaramouche

Warnings - NSFW ( edging, overstimulation, penetration, pegging, foreplay, bondage, degradation, humiliation, dirty talk, fingering, heavy dom, punishment, cunnilingus, blowjob )

A/N - “How to dominate Genshin Woman,” is up next ;)

Mentions - @clouds-rambles I saw you wanted someone to tag you for a post with Kazuha or Venti content :) sorry if it was comfort you were looking for tho- ;-;

_-_-_-_

Kaeya needs to be told he will be fucked. That you’re going to throw him on the bed and have your way with him. With the blue headed cavalry captain, communication is the key to seducing him into your bidding. Kaeya naturally can be submissive, but he often prefers to take control, so you’ll have to keep firm with him.

Rub his thighs while you whisper into his ear all your dirty little plans. The contact will catch his attention, and he’ll grow hard at the thought of you taking control.

But be careful.

As much as Kaeya can be a bratty sub, he is equally teasing and capable of taking control again. You need to stick hard with your decision, and never falter into his words. Keep him on edge, control his orgasm, make him long for you.

“Y/n… please… I cant take it any longer.”

Kaeya in general is open to many things, so bondage and many kinks are open to him. Use them to keep him blinded in ecstasy and want, until all he can do is whine out your name.

Degrade him.

Play with his hair as he shakes for the orgasm, and pull at his locks when he tries to get off when you pull back. You need to remind him constantly that you’re in control, that he does your bidding and that your words are law.

_-_-_-_

The room was hot, sweat dripping down your neck as you loomed over Kaeya’s toned chest. But the warmth was hardly a bother with the view in front of view, whimpers and grunts escaping the man’s lips as he clenched the white silk bedsheets.

“Y/n,” he breathed, head crushed into the bedsheets by your hand that gripped his neck. You only squeezed his throat tighter, making him flinch and unable to speak. All he could do was try to meet your uneven pace and throw his hips up in an idle attempt to orgasm.

He should’ve known better.

Because you drew up when he was close, lifting your wet dripping pussy from the slick coated juices that covered his dick. Leaving his erect and overstimulated length throbbing as he cried out. 

“I decide when you get to cum,” was your only reply, harsh and strict against his lustful desperate eyes. “I am the one in control of your needy little dick right now, so dont even try to find out what I’ll do if you do it without my permission.”

He could only nod, tears welling up in his eyes when you slammed back down on his dick. The obedient way he melted into you making you loosen the grip on his neck, slowly trailing your hand down his chest. Hand settling on his abs as you bounced on his dick, pace getting quicker. 

“Cum you slut.”

His seed filled your hole, and his hands clenched into fists as the wave of pleasure washed over him. He curled his toes at the edge of the bed, knees and thighs shaking when you sank back down on his dick. He was reduced to a mewling mess, unable to form proper words.

“You didn’t think we were done did you?”

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Touch his chest, especially his nipples. He was his window exposed to the cold air after all~ its sensitive and the contact there with the one on his dick will have him trembling.

Diluc doesnt know how to be anything but dominant in his sex life. He’s unlikely ever had the chance to be at someones complete and utter mercy. In a way, he liked it like that, he likes control better than the unknown. But he trusts you, openly submitting himself to you when you ask. Cause thats all you have to do when it comes to Diluc, ask with a pouty face and a “pretty please?” And its yours.

Diluc probably got the idea that you’d be gentle with him because of your words. Maybe it was your soft expression, or just the way you patted his shoulder and told him he’d enjoy it, you promised.

But you were anything but gentle.

Actually, he’ll likely try to avoid looking at you directly because he might feel ashamed for looking so vulnerable. Scared that you might find him disgusting or revulsive in the state that he’s crying and begging for your touch.

With Diluc, praise him. 

Tell him how good he’s doing, how hot he looks all wet and hard for you. Talking about what you’re going to do to him also turns him on, stroke his dick and whisper into his ear how you’ll be pounding it in your pussy.

“So g-good… dont stop… d-dont…”

“Magic word ‘Luc,” you whispered slyly into his ear. 

“Please…” he whined almost immediately. “Please, please… p-please-”

But once you start, you’re in complete and utter control.

Unlike Kaeya, he wont be able to turn the tables on you if he feels like it. Being at someones mercy is so thrilling, and all he can do is think about how to make you tell him he’s doing good.

He’ll do everything you ask without hesitation.

A good boy just for you.

_-_-_-_

“Sensitive,” you remarked smoothly as the pads on your fingers rubbed Diluc’s cock. You were gentle, slow and torturous as you rubbed the tip and drank in the boy’s muffled gasps and cries.

Diluc was face down on the bed, hands grasping the pillow and just about shoving it in his face. His hips bucked everytime you touched his needy dick, toes digging into the blanket to support him in any kind of way. 

You hovered over his quivering body, a smirk plastered over your face at the feeling of euphoria this gave you. Diluc was never a bottom, and it felt so good to know that it was you who was changing that.

‘He’s so cute being so submissive too…’

Ass up in the air as if begging you to suck his cock, to do anything instead of teasing him with your fingers. Adorable attempt, but if he wanted to be sucked off, he needed to vocally beg for it, plead and whine for your mouth.

You pressed another kiss against his neck, nipping at his tender red skin with your teeth. He struggled and whimpered when you didnt go any lower.

“You want something…?” You asked gently into his ear, holding back the grin when he nodded wildly.

“‘Ask for it.”’

He opened his mouth to say something, but was overcome with the sensation of your fingers sliding up and down his dick. The pillow didnt help, muffling his voice so you couldnt hear him either way. Feeling trapped, he could only thrust his hips into the strokes of your hand.

“Y/n…” he tried, stopping halfway. “I want you to… I n-need you to…”

So you helped him out a little bit.

Your hand quickly came to his neck, holding his face up above the pillow. It was grasped as if you’d choke him, but your touch was soft and gentle enough not to hurt him. “What was that?”

“Suck me…” he sputtered out, thighs trembling. “Please…”

You let go of his neck, instead trailing your body down. You left little kisses and love bites on the crevices of his back, noting how he arched his spine obediently. “Good boy,” you whispered when you got to his cock. You gave the tip a little kiss, “Good boy.”

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Get into a position with Diluc that’ll make it hard for him to escape your grip completely. He’s not used to this, so he’ll be really shifty and squirmy the entire time.

Albedo might be a little harder to go about, but it all comes down to how you phrase it. The poor boy is so obsessed with knowledge and discovering more that it really isnt that hard to persuade him with the right words. Tell him that you simply want to experiment body reactions, and that someone suggested a little something ‘different.’

Can I just start by saying that Albedo is probably one of the prettiest bottoms out there? Like the way his mouth opens to moan out your name, but then he chokes back on pleasure and now he’s just breathing really hard, eyes slitted.

During the entire process, he’ll be completely obedient to you and only you. Asking what to do so that the supposed experiment will work. 

In general he’s pretty touch craved, so even just the simplest stray of your fingers along his thigh will get him hard.

“You’re… sure this is part of the experiment?”

“Absolutely. Something wrong?”

“No… I’ve just never done this before.”

Make him sit on your lap. 

I don’t care if you’re shorter or taller than him. If you’re looking up or down to see his face, because either way its the best position to see his expressions. And the best thing about Albedo is his expressions.

You’re used to seeing his usual stoic demeanor and maybe even the slightest smile that he spares for you. But here, you get to see the pleasure that he cant hide, moaning your name and whining for more.

_-_-_-_

“Like t-this…?”

Your hand was on the soft skin of his back, fingers stroking the crevice of his spine and sending goosebumps up his spine. “Perfect,” you purred back, legs widening under the pressure of him above you. 

You could tell Albedo was desperately trying to stay in control of his face, but his body reactions gave way to his actual feelings. Face slightly tinted as he screwed his eyes shut and delved into the feeling of being inside you. His thighs shook as you grasped his hips, slamming him in and out of your pussy mercilessly.

“Y/n…”

The way he moaned your name was just as satisfactory as his dick pounding into your walls. You stroked the sensitive skin of his sides, pinching and gripping his ass. It was tender in your hands, and you rubbed the flesh as you hoisted him up and down into your hole.

“You like that?” You asked into his ear, nibbling at the exposed hollow of his neck. 

“The e-experiment?” He began, clearing his throat as if to give you a fully proper answer. 

You thrust your hips to meet his.

“Its certainly- c-certainly… I…” He pressed his face into your shoulder, breathing hard as his thighs gave away and he fully submitted into you. Into the sensation of you pumping his length into yourself. 

“Certainly what Bedo…?” You teased, satisfied with his unfinished answer. You didn’t want him to give you his hypothesis, you wanted him to tell you how good he felt, how he wanted you to fuck him harder.

One of your hands rose up to his face, harshly pushing off your shoulder. Your hand came to grip his neck, angling his face in just the ‘right’ position so you could view the ecstasy dimming his eyes. Mouth open while nothing but moans and whimpers escaped, head tilted to the side because he couldnt focus on anything but the feeling of you.

“Feels…. good…” he mumbled, hazy eyes threatening to roll to the back of his head.

Your hand on his neck tightened, and you pulled his head up higher so you could see the diamond like mark on his chest. Pressing a soft kiss to the symbol, he tensed, trying to handle the stimulation on both his dick and neck.

“Now thats the answer I wanted,” you simply said in response, thumb rubbing the sensitive spot on his collarbone. 

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Bondage and toys are also okay with Albedo as long as its for ‘research’ purposes. Seeing his expressions when he’s overstimulated would be all the more better :3

Childe would never willingly submit himself to you, never willingly let himself be submissive when it comes to sex or… anything. As you know, he is a very competitive man, so its easier if you trick him into it. Its consensual of course, Childe would never back down to a challenge, so who’s to say you can’t win for once?

Tell him you’ll be the one fucking him when you get back home.

He will laugh and tell you he’d like to see you try, the smirk on his face telling you he plans to be the one pumping into you all night anyways. 

But you slowly drive him crazy, occasionally brushing your fingers along his hip, up his thighs, ‘accidentally’ on his chest. Until his hard member is throbbing and needy, and he is easy to catch off guard when you make it back home.

He puts his stuff away, changing out of his dirty clothes. But you are prepared when he comes out in his boxers, the rope on his pull up bar undetected by him.

Yes, Childe has a pull up bar on his door, I swear thats canon-

Anyways, as he slowly paces towards you, lustful look in his eyes, you only smirk back. And its when you’ve pulled his hands into the waiting knot and pull the other two ends to secure the bindings, thats when he realizes he’s screwed up.

‘And yes I know Childe could probably break the pull up bar if he wanted to- shush shush.’

“Oh Childe… eating up your words now arent you?”

Tease him.

Degrade him and show him that you are in charge. That you are always in charge, that if you wanted, you could do anything to him. He is at your complete and utter mercy, and he can’t do anything about it.

Look him dead in the eye as the confidence fades from his face. As he can only acknowledge one thing, one thing only.

You’ve won.

_-_-_-_

“You’re holding up pretty well,” your fingers trailed alongside the side of his face, scanning his features. “Pretty determined arent we? Don’t worry, I’ll fix that up for you quick.”

“Go ahead and try,” was his only answer.

Your fingers gripped his dick firmly, positioning it over your pussy. “Oh I plan to,” you whispered sweetly in a promise. “I can’t wait to see you begging for me, your needy little dick at my complete and utter disposal.”

Before he could answer, you thrust your hips to meet his length, biting your bottom lip slightly. He was big, and a grunt left his lips as he thrust his dick up into your entrance. With a gasp, you grabbed his sides, pushing his ass into the door and flashing him a nasty stare.

“Don’t even try.”

With your hands restraining his body against the wooden door, he was left to deal with your terribly slow pace. As you slowly pumped his member in and out of your pussy, a torturous tempo that even had you yearning for more.

His face was worth it.

“Go faster…” he managed to get through his teeth, “You’re so damn slow-”

You pulled away from his member, letting it hang loose and dripping. Your hand still gripped it though, and with a long prolonged sigh, you looked up to give him a stern face. “Say that again and I’ll make sure you’ll stay stuck tied to the door, helpless and needy like the little whore you are.”

At this, his face scrunched in anger as he tried to pull away from the pull up bar. You pushed a hand to his chest, shoving him back into the door. Of course he wasnt used to being degraded and toyed around like this, but in his position, he needed to learn his place.

“So? What’ll it be?”

Stroking the tip of his cock hard in your hand, you watched as his resistance came to crumble, slow until you rubbed up and down his length. He closed his eyes ever so slightly, a whimper escaping his lips as he threw his head back against the door. You took a step closer, positioning his member right at the entrance of your pussy. You rubbed the tip of it against your clit, letting out a little whine out yourself.

“Fine…” you heard him mumble. “Please… Y/n, fuck me.”

You slowly pulled his cock closer against your hole, till only the tip was inside. “Louder.”

His eyes flashed open to give you a harsh glare, but nevertheless he had no choice but to beg. “Please,” he began, jerking when you pulled his cock into your pussy. So far that he hit his head against the wall in an act to hide his moan. “Oh god Y/n… just like that.” A whimper escaped his lips when you pumped in and out of him. “Dont stop… oh d-dont stop… fuck me… please.”

The slick sounds of squelches and Childe’s ass hitting the door filled the room. “Look at you,” you cooed, rubbing his cheek with your thumb as you looked at his half slitted eyes. “Looking so obedient now arent you? Who knew you were such a good little slut.”

Childe only mewled in response, knees threatening to give in as you thrust into his dick at a quicker pace. His thighs and legs were all but ready to give out, and it was the restraints on his wrists tying him to the pull up bar that kept him upright.

It wasnt till he was overstimulated and barely hanging onto the threads of consciousness when you spoke to him again. Untying the rope on the pull up bar and pulling him against you to bring him into the shower.

“Now now,” was what you whispered into his ear. “I want to hear it from you, who won?”

Your fingers treaded through his hair as he only managed to mumble back, “You.”

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Run. I’m not kidding, morning comes and Childe awakens with his strength back? Bro, get outta there before the mf decides to take revenge-

Kazuha is poetic and takes a gentle approach to intimacy with you. Straight out telling him you want to be in control might throw him off a bit, so its best to lure him into it. Kiss him and whisper loving words into his ear. Have him lose himself in your lips, your words, and he wont notice how you’re not not wearing clothing, and now you’re pegging him in the ass.

Like Diluc, Kazuha wants to be praised, hearing your loving words in his ear. He’s usually the poetic one, so how come you’re the one being so romantic and cute?

Whisper the haiku he read to you yesterday, and he’ll be down and ready for whatever you want.

Overall, Kazuha probably wont mind if you’re dominant in your sex life, considering that he just wants to be loved, and that the intercourse is something intimate between the two of you. Special.

“O-oh… that feels nice…”

Be aware that Kazuha has slightly heightened senses with smell and hearing, and has a general sensitivity along with his senses. So yes, he will moan a lot. Be prepared to hear his usual calm collected voice squeaking and whimpering which each thrust of your hips.

Take advantage of that, touch him, talk to him. Don’t be harsh with Kazuha though- no degradation, teasing is acceptable, but poetic verses and loving words will be his favourite.

_-_-_-_

Your hands were gentle against his hips, lifting his ass up and spreading his legs at just the right angle. Beneath you, he squirmed just a tad bit, face buried into the bedsheets as his stomach faced the bed, unable to look at you.

“You’re doing so good,” you whispered, your hands at his hips leading to his ass. You softly rubbed the flesh, squishing it in your hands and molding it to expose his needy little hole. He only mumbled something against the white silken sheets, muffled.

You drew your fingers up to your mouth, sucking on them to leave them slick and wet. Tender as you rubbed them against his hole, you slipped them in, slowly pumping in just to stretch him out. Under you, he began to clench the sheets, whimpering something and calling out your name.

Your harness was already tied around your hips and ass, ready as you positioned yourself over him, doggy style.

He jolted when even just the tip touched his tight little hole. You could see his hands shaking, face buried deeper into the mattress. You gently put a hand over his shaking one, pressing a kiss on the back of his neck. “Do you remember that Haiku you wrote me the other day?” You asked him, hoping to distract him for just a moment.

“Y-yeah…” he mumbled back, and you slowly slid the strap on farther down his ass. You felt him shiver against you, thighs trembling at the unknown feeling.

Stretching him out farther, he moaned when you got halfway through. “Mhm, me too.” Your thumb gently stroked the backside of his hand as he quivered beneath you. “It went something like this I think…” You slowly slid the strap on father down. “Sun and moon rejoice…”

He gasped, whining as you eventually did manage to shove it down his ass. His tight hole clenched at the unknown feeling, pleasurable waves rolling back at him.

“Birds of dawn sing songs anew,” you continued, beginning to thrust in and out at a gentle pace. You wished you could see the expressions he was making, the flushed look or the pleasurable one. You could imagine his eyes rolled back as he moaned into your thrusts.

You sped up.

He now tried to meet his ass along with your thrusts, trying to reach deeper and deeper until this unknown knot building up inside him would untie itself. It was uncomfortable, but it felt so good at the same time. Your words sent shivers down his spine.

“Far from home,” you stated at last. “With you.”

Kazuha hummed, clenching his bottom lip to swallow down the moans and whines. “You remembered,” was all he managed to mumble. Half pleasured, half in awe.

“Of course I did.”

Somehow, that made it all the more intimate, and Kazuha wished he could completely give himself to you. He loved you with all his heart, especially with how you made him feel so warm. So full, so happy.

You thrust faster, hands slowly drifting back to his hips so you could thrust his ass into the strap on. You could tell he was coming close with the volume of his moans, thighs shaking and hands raking up and down the beside.

“Y/n…” he cried. “Y-Y/n-”

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Kazuha can be really loud during sex, so make sure that if you’re anywhere public, or on the Crux, to somehow keep it on the quiet side- last thing you want is a grumpy Beidou. “I cOuld heAr yOu hOrny sHits all niGht.”

Venti is quite literally a bottom. Theres really not much convincing you have to do when it comes to actually getting him down on the bed and being in control. Actually, I have a feeling it would take more convincing to get him to be in control, mainly because he likes to be on the receiving end.

When it comes to Venti, despite his delicate small form, you can easily be rough with him. Degrade him and show him that compared to you, he’s nothing. All that Barbatos shit is nothing compared to you, your hand on his neck choking out all his noises and thrusting his dick into you. 

Tie him up.

Or rather, do anything you’d like to him. Venti is by no means fragile. He wants you to be rough with him, push him till he thinks he’s gonna break.

But you’re gonna have to have some hella nice aftercare prepared afterwards.

“Worship me, your god.”

“Worship you? You are nothing but my slut in bed, now get down on your knees and ‘beg.’”

Overstimulate him. Make him keep count everytime he orgasms until he can’t remember anymore. 

“How many times now…?”

“Too much… too m-much-”

Make him cry and cling onto you if you were his lifeline. Because you’re the only thing he can hold onto when you’re shoving his hips inside your pussy. You’re everything to him, he needs you.

It doesn’t take too long for Venti to actually submit himself fully to you, babbling incomprehensible words. Crying out your name, begging for you and agreeing with anything you say.

Venti can be extremely obedient.

_-_-_-_

You were enjoying the view.

Leaning back into the cushioned wooden chair, legs spread and wide as the smaller boy sat on your lap. He squirmed, hands tied in scratchy rope that kept his hands unavailable to him, leaving him bare and vulnerable to you. His chest was puffed out, nipples bright red as if begging to be sucked.

“Hurry up now,” you began, your unwavering eyes boring into his wide ones. “You were so confident before as well werent you? Telling me to worship you, Barbatos.” You just barely skimmed the skin of his back, up his neck and clenching the locks of hair. Pulling his hair back to get the full glory of his face, obedient for you. “All I see in front of me is a little slut.”

He grinds his throbbing member against you, needy while his lustful eyes peer at you through lidded lashes. “P-please…”

“Please what? Speak up.”

He fidgeted with his restrained hands, flashing a pouty look your way to see if it’d draw a reaction. It didnt. “Put my cock in your pussy,” he instead whimpered, moving his hips closer to your entrance.

You just leaned deeper against the chair, waving your hand to the side as if bored. “You want to bury your dick in my cunt? Go do it yourself then.” He glanced up, pleading eyes as he again pulled at the restraints on his arms. “Go on, I’m waiting.”

Whimpering, he tried to push his hips into you, his cock missing slightly and just pushing against your thighs. He felt so hot, the contrast of the cold air that tingled against his bare skin. His length throbbed and his chest pounded, your little touches igniting fireworks across his skin. “I ca-cant…” he sniffled, again thrusting his hips only to be meant with your thighs. 

You stayed quiet.

Your stare only made his member harder, and he was now lost in the sensation of rutting his hips into your thighs. The stimulation felt good, but not good enough to get him off. No, he wanted your pussy, your calloused hands roughly holding his hips while you drove him into you. The need drove tears to his eyes, thighs shaking with anticipation as he continued pumping feverishly against you.

“You really cant do anything without me can you?” Was your harsh reply, hand positioning his cock right in front of your entrance. Venti only mewled in response, cut off by the sharp motion of your hands on his ass thrusting into your entrance. He was now panting, head leaning against your shoulder for support as you pumped him in and out relentlessly.

“Y/n!! Its.. mm, so g-good.”

“As it should be, your dick belongs to me.”

And he just nodded, letting you take full control of the pace as he laid there and moaned. He couldn’t even manage to push his hips along with your hands to chase his release. Just submitting all sensation to you and the feeling of your walls clenching around his length.

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Make him worship you, sit down on the chair and tell him to suck all your juices dry. Degrade and tell him he’s lucky to get any taste.

Zhongli is pretty open when it comes to trying new things when it comes too sex, considering that with how long he’s lived, its probably nothing new. Nevertheless, the best way to convince Zhongli to go along with whatever you’re saying is just telling him, “Let me make you feel good love.”

Zhongli won’t be fazed by what you decide to do, no matter how kinky or odd it might be, he has no doubt seen worse somewhere else.

You don’t have to worry about being gentle with him, and he won’t really be fazed if you decide to degrade him. Of course, it doesnt turn him on as much as whispering loving words in his ear does, but he wont object either.

Very obedient.

Zhongli knows what he’s getting into, and he never goes back on his word. He says he’ll do something? He will do it.

He’s the god of contracts after all-

“Ah… so tight, just for me?”

Touch his face.

Whether its having your hands around his neck, brushing your thumb over his soft cheeks, or giving him soft forehead kisses, he’ll love it. He wants to make eye contact with you during it, always. Even if you’re the one in control, he wants to have you in his sights as he moans out your name.

_-_-_-_

You were gentle at first.

Tightening the straps on your hips, you adjusted their positioning as you climbed on the bed. The silk sheets were soft against your knees, soft on your hands as you crawled overtop of the archon. He was laying flat on his back like you’d asked, hands resting against the sheets palms up as he stared up at you. Pensive, waiting.

You went to press a kiss to his lips, one hand at the back of his neck as you bit his bottom lip. Just like you’d asked, he didnt use either one of his hands to hold you or press you tighter against him. Just melted against the rough feel of your lips against his. When you were done, you lifted yourself up to get a good look at him, satisfied with his swollen lips and breathless gasps. You held your fingers to his mouth.

“Suck.”

He was compliant, taking your digits and swirling his tongue around in expertise. Coating them in a slick layer of wetness as you pull them out. You get more of a reaction out of him when you press your fingers against his hole, slowly sliding them in. 

“Good, just like that.”

You delved in the sight of your fingers disappearing into the clenched hole of his ass. Sucking them in greedily and making a ‘pop’ when you pulled them out. 

Taking a deep breath in, he hums into the sensation of your fingers slowly filling his ass. He isn’t impatient, instead letting you take slow torturous thrusts of your fingers in and out without complaint.

It all changes when you pull them out and align the tip of the silicon strap on to his hole.

Because you were being nice earlier, coaxing him with your gentle touches and peppering him with kisses. You knew he expected you to be kind, to handle him with care with each thrust. To say that you loved him and him to say the same.

Nothing wrong with surprises.

It must’ve been a nice surprise by the looks of it, because when you fully sheathed the strap on into his ass in one stroke, his back arched, a moan escaping his lips as he now clenched the sheets. Eyes wide and mouth wide and panting, you thrust in and out without mercy, watching the strap on disappear deeply into his ass before you pulled it all out and slammed it back into him. A pattern that had his eyes rolling back and mindless sounds escaping his lips.

Your hands, gripping both sides of his thighs, propped them up on either of your shoulder. Zhongli through his dazed eyes managed to give you one confused look before you pumped the strap on right back, and the angle had him crying out your name feverishly as he curled his toes. His walls clenched tightly around the silicon, the strap on reaching so far in his ass that all he could do was moan and cry for more.

“So pretty,” you commented, another hand stroking his hard neglected member. “Just for me.”

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - For someone new or someone who hasnt actually dominated anyone in bed before, Zhongli is a perfect first option. Will provide no judgement at all, and might actually help you out if you get nervous.

Dainsleif prefers to be in control, to have full superiority when fucking you. He doesn’t see any reason for you to suddenly act like the boss, after all he respects you and would never do anything to hurt you. However, if you give him a reason to force him into submission, he’ll put up a fight, but will eventually sink down for you.

Tease him.

Dominating Dainsleif is a one time thing, which means you have to take advantage of it with all you can. Drink in all of his expressions because believe me when I say you wont see them anywhere else.

Tell him this is ‘punishment.’

When he asks what he did, don’t answer. Just grab the hems of his jacket and throw him on the bed. Strip him bare and tell him that you could list all the things he did, but you want him to think about it instead.

And he does.

He’s always the one coming home to tell you he needs a good little fuck after work. And then you’re laying on the bed while he takes out his frustrations, and you know he doesnt mean to hurt you but-

“Say it again.”

“I’m… I’m s-sorry Y/n. Please do-dont touch… mm, don’t touch m-me there- ah!!!”

“Again.”

So you do the same with him, and he lays there and takes it like a good boy. Because he deserves the punishment, at least you’ve told him that much.

Degrade him.

Overstimulate him and don’t let him orgasm, keep edging him on like Kaeya and don't allow him to have even an ounce of the release he’s craving for. After all, this is punishment, you arent giving him any rewards.

Stroke him and bring him to his orgasm, only to pull away. 

And while you edge him, whisper dirty little things in his ear. Of what you would’ve done if he wasn't being punished, how you wouldve made him feel so good. Till he was crying your name nonstop, till he couldn't walk the next morning.

Oof, better luck next time Dainsleif.

_-_-_-_

His hips bucked feverishly against your hand, the slick juices covering his dick making a squelching noise every time your palm slid up and down his length.

Dainsleif was panting, hands tied behind his back and knees tied to the bedposts as he laid there in all his vulnerability, His legs were spread wide and exposed, wet with precum just for you. 

“Y/n… please…”

You weren't sure how many times you’d heard that sentence tonight, certainly too many. And even if it was his nth time that he’d reached his climax and you didn't let him orgasm, it didn't matter. This was punishment, he wasn't supposed to like it, he was supposed to lay there and take it.

“Shut up you slut, if I want to let your pathetic little cock cum, I’ll let you.” Your thumb rubbed the tip, eliciting a gasp from him. “And if I don’t, you’ll just have to put your big boy pants on and deal with it.”

You lowered your head till your face was in line with his growing erection. As if he could sense your plans, he twitched in your grip, groaning in want, in ‘need.’ Slowly, you pressed a kiss to the tip, letting him know exactly what you planned to do.

He squeaked out in shock, or rather, as high of a squeak as he could manage. His voice was still rather deep afterall.

“If I wasnt punishing you… maybe this wouldve been my pussy instead.”

But you didn’t stop, opening up your lips to slowly suck the head of his dick. Your other two hands strokes his sides, groping and feeling around his hard length.

“If you d-do it like that… I’ll… I’ll…”

Your mouth widened to swallow more of his dick, tongue swirling around the tip as you sunk deeper into his hips. He squirmed, legs trying to thrash around but held by the restraints on his knees. Moans and whispers escaped his lips as he tried to move his arms to no avail. He was coming close, he could feel the sensation grow from the pit of his stomach, member tingling and warm as you sucked him in.

He was so close… almost there… just a little more and-

You pulled away.

Licking your lips, your hand wiped away any stray liquid on your face. 

“If I wasnt punishing you,” you began mockingly. “Maybe I would’ve let you cum.”

And Dainsleif was left to simply hit his head against the sheets, a groan of frustration escaping his lips as his throbbing member pulsed with need. 

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Blindfold him. He won’t know when or what you plan to do, and that makes it all the more arousing.

Scaramouche would never in hell allow you to top him, or anyone else for that matter. He is always in control, he is always thrusting into you as you sob for him, beg for him. Until he’s not. With Scaramouche, its simpler than you think, but it does involve the fact that you need to be strong. Physically, because Scaramouche without his hat and vision is basically useless :’)

Make him earn it.

Stay away from the short boy for a long time, tease him when you see him, and deny him any release when he wants to fuck you. He came back home from a tough day at work and wants to fuck you silly? You’re not there. He feels horny one night and tries to find you? Make yourself disappear.

He’ll grow needy.

And here ladies and gentleman, is where you strike. Because poor little Scaramouche needs you so much that he might even be willing to bow down and follow any of your commands so long as he gets a release.

And you better damn well take advantage of that.

Make him go on his two very own knees, make him ‘earn it.’ Earn the right to have you pleasure him.

“Lick my juices until thats the only thing you can taste, the only thing you’ll want to taste.”

“Yes… maam…”

“Louder.”

“Yes maam.”

“I said louder you whore.”

Degrade him, make him feel like nothing compared to you. Because just for this once, this moment, you can. 

Convince him that he is nothing without you, that he needs you to survive.

And then after that, grab his hips and thrust his dick into you. Until he lost count of how many times he’s came. Till he’s hanging onto his consciousness by a thread and is fucked silly by you.

_-_-_-_

“Fucking slut.”

You leaned into the chair, watching as Scaramouche thrust into you again and again with the help of your two hands on his hips. Eyes dazed and clouded, he could no longer focus on the details. He didn’t notice how you degraded him, how it was basically you that guided his cock in and out of your pussy. 

But he was gone, far too gone. Sensations around his body sent him on a rollercoaster, and his dick felt numb, the slightest tingle of heat climbing up his chest. He felt good, that was all that mattered in him dumbed up state.

Your hand came to caress the skin of cheek, a sickening laugh erupting from your lips as you focused on the way he stared at you. “I fucked you dumb didnt I?” You cooed, never stopping the motion of your other hand guiding him in and out of your pussy. “Fucked you so good that you cant even talk.”

He just hummed in response, lips breaking off into a moan.

“Good,” you whispered to him, pulling his head closer to rest against your shoulder. “Such a good boy for me.”

And then your hands were on his neck, squeezing slightly to alter the pitch of his moans as you lead his face down to yours. Till you pressed a kiss to his gentle lips, a once in a lifetime opportunity where you could take control of the kiss, of him. Licking his bottom lip and sliding your tongue in to rub against his. Lips parting to kiss, his dumbed out whimpers a musical melody in tune with the pace of your hands dragging his dick in and out of your overstimulated cunt. 

_-_-_-_

Quick Tip - Uhm…? Run? Similarly to Childe, Scaramouche aint gonna react positively in the morning. Might discard your body for seeing him in that state. Jeez… what's up with the harbingers….

_-_-_-_

On a side note… after writing this, I kinda feel like I’ve discovered I have a choking kink… ;-;

[tema-makes-art-sometimes]

Your 2p designs are really cool! :00 What was your process on designing them?

thank you aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I love them very much.

It's not very fancy I'm gonna be honest with you, and they're kind of different. There's honestly a process, but it takes ages and ages and all of my 2ps are at different stages of work.

I also just want to note, while I try to maintain historical president and research, they are less based on the countries and more based into being mirrors or character foils to their 1ps. More character, less historical nation.

One day I'd love to talk about specific 2p's and their importance to their narrative foil in their 1p's and how the 1p's mirror and foil them back-- but uh, that's for another ask ^^''

But yeah here's my process.

---

Part 1: I look at the 1p Nation itself, and break down their basic attributes. Their appearance, personality, history, etc. After I break it down I usually go 'Okay, what if this character was [X]' and then I continue to think about it from there.

Part 2: I do some research into the country itself and different things about it, its culture, food, tourism etc. While I am not an expert and it's honestly very very surface level, I'm mostly shooting for major cultural phenomenons, popular media, food, fashion, major traditions and anything that I should avoid.

Part 3: I continue to flesh out their concept with this new info, and start writing them in things to get a feel for the deeper parts of their psyche and personality. Things sometimes change in this stage, like their look, their personality, etc. (for example: Hanna/2p Hungary went from a gentle mother, to a y*ndere madwoman, to a dominatrix with trauma in the span of 2017-2022, just by using her in practice.)

Part 4: This is the longest stage, its just use. Use, use, use. Interaction with others, RP, ficlets, coded shenanigans, art pieces, headcanons, vocal rps from joke concepts. Me just making them, finding media pieces that I tie to them, etc. It's the longest and where major and minor beats of the character really start locking into place, and where alternate concepts of their personality can come up. Like AU's where I take their inner personality panel and start turning switches and dials and seeing what happens, or seeing what would have to happen to have a character stoop to certain levels (madness, murder, etc.)

Part 5: By this stage they've become a solid character I use often, like Lutz or Alexander. 2p's I've had for over seven years and have changed slowly as I have, with dynamic pasts and future character growth opportunities and alternate world versions where their personalities are different, but are still distinctly them.

This is a really watered down version of what I go through, and isn't even this rigid, sometimes characters go from one to three to two to four its weird. doesnt take into account other people shifting their personalities and arrows in life either-- Example, Lutzlex (Alex and Lutz as a ship) was never a major thing in my lore until my discord group latched onto it and the more I rp'd concepts for it the more I fell in love with it. And because their relationship went from a past foot note into something major it critically changed both of their personalities in a major way.

Lemme throw you an Example! I'll use Akio, because I remember his origin the best for some reason.

Akio was one that took me a while to characterize, cause at the start of it, he was the fanon 2p Japan, and then he dropped off for years because I had other friends who rp'd him better than me, so I just used theirs or would interact with theirs so often I didn't need my own.

But when I did start deeply analyzing him, I started with a simple concept.

What if Kiku hadn't been characterized as a shut-in? How would that have effected his relationship with his neighbors? America? Netherlands? How would the Isolation Period have effected his psyche? Does he fear it happening again? Is is afraid of his government? etc. etc.

So that's where Akio started. As I worked with that personality more and more, he started to have major beats. Being very bluntly honest against Kiku's constant obfuscation of his feelings. Making himself very distinct from his government, staying out of the country as often as he could, being afraid of enclosed spaces/locked rooms, and almost never talking to Kiku.

Time passed, his personality got rubbed down, he was given a lot more energy, but less chaotic and more just, chasing the trends. He became a social media and kawaii fiend, undercut with the constant worry of reconnecting with his traditions or past at more than a surface level out of a buried trauma response.

I got away from the whole family asia thing (I was stupid, obv.) and made it more of Akio trying to be very social with his neighbors, but they find it grating because you know, Japanese history in the South Pacific and Asia. I don't need to explain that. His relationship with China has changed but at the same time it hasn't at all. Bohai thinking he's rather close with Akio, but Akio just not wanting anything to do with him.

And it leads all the way to now, where Akio is. As this Bio I have for him goes:

Akio’s energy can simply be described as ‘shut up I do what I want’. A free thinking, energetic, sassy Japanese man who has decided to leave old habits and beliefs behind to fully immerse himself in the modern world. The negative side of this is he finds himself not well grounded and with a deeply embedded anxiety of being pulled back to the past again. He’s good at reading the room and will tell you exactly what he’s thinking or feeling without any hesitation. Some people consider it crass and others appreciate his honesty. Despite his loud nature, has a lot of repressed fear toward his own country and even the other Japan for reasons he doesn’t often discuss.

Long winded explanation and example aside, it's not that intensive I don't think? Some of them are still very very surface level for my taste, and I live in constant fear of them not being historical-y or nation-y enough for people. But I guess with my 2p's- and just my personifications in general- I like to think about them more as characters and less like personifications because it's more fun that way.

But yeah! I hope this makes somewhat of a lick of sense, and that people are not terrified or overwhelmed by the text! I noticed the cool color feature is there now, so I thought to add some in places to splash attention and make it a little less of a slog to look at! I hope this was informative I guess ^^;;

[sapphicwizzro]

oh dang its a syoc form

@iguessihavemore bet u werent expecting me b i h

all relevant stuff is UNDER THE READMORE YEE BEE

everytime ive submitted an oc to something something BAD happened so like let’s hope that doesnt happen again

Name: Paulie Rio (Paulie is short for Pauline) Stereotype: Punk... or Baker. Depends on the time of day p much Reason For Competing: money money money money motherfucker

Gender: Baby Girl... She/Her Ethnicity: idk shes black i made her at a time when i dont think about WHERE these people came from she just EXISTS and lives in CANADA Sexuality: Lesbab Age: Anywhere from 17 to 24 Audition Tape:

Paulie adjusted the camera, sticking her tongue out in the process. She's standing in her kitchen, wearing her pink apron.

"Is this thing on?" Paulie muttered to herself, before noticing the blinking red light, "Oh! Okay!"

She took a step back. She's standing behind a counter.

"Hi! I'd really like to be on Total Drama! I'm really cool and strong and I bake really awesome cookies-"

Paulie picks up a pan of cookies, forgetting the fact that they are freshly out of the oven and she isn't wearing any oven mitts. She shouts as she drops the pan, and shouts as it presumably hits her leg.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" She chants as she hops around, "Oh, I'm so stupid-"

Her hopping around shakes the camera, which falls over and breaks.

"Oh, dangit!"

You can see her shuffle in front of it.

"Uh." She says, "My name is Paulie, by the way."

Cut to black.

Appearance

Body Type: A little thin, but you can see that she has muscles. Got abs. Skips leg day lol Height: Not like too short but like? 5'2? Idk Skin Color: Dark af Skin Markings: General "I get into fist fights sometimes" scars across her body. Eyes: Very round and open red eyes (or a reddish brown if you prefer) Hair Color: Light lime green Hair Length/Texture: Neck length! I like to imagine its very coily?? Is that the word? like you look at her hair very closely and its a bunch of very tight ringlets Typical Hairstyle: It just sort of. Exists. She doesn't style it, it's just. short!!! Face: Round!! Has a silver nose ring and several other rings in her ears!! Always has at least one bandage on her cheek.

Default Outfit: Black bandana with a flame pattern near the bottom. Black t-shirt. Ripped blue jeans. Black converse with pink accents. Might occasionally go out with black cuffs and a collar. Sleepwear: She's that kinda person who sleeps in a t-shirt and undies and all the girls resent her for it cause like "OMG PAULIE PUT ON SOME PANTS" Swimwear: If she could get away with just wearing trunks, she would. Instead, she just wears a black one piece with some skeleton pattern on it or somethin Their Fashion Sense: Dark punk bullshit with bright accents. Just very punk rock. She also wears a pink apron with a cat pattern on it when she's baking. Other Hairstyles: Sometimes she eschews the bandana and goes for a ponytail. Some girls think she looks hot like that.

Extra (optional):    

Their Voice: She definitely has a Slight Accent(tm) but its like. a lil androgynous and cracks sometimes. Rhondolite from Steven Universe maybe?? How They Smell: Cookies with the slightest hint of Axe body spray

Personality

Personality: Very kind and loving and SOFT. Full of energy. Vocally supportive of her peers. Mushy romantic who believes in the kindness of people or whatever. She's a little stupid sometimes and is the kind of person to try and climb onto the roof of places and fall off. She used to be a bad person, and she sometimes lets people step on her because she's afraid of regressing into that.

Biography: Paulie came from a Bad Neighbourhood(tm) and used to be the Baddest Bitch Around(tm), breaking noses and taking names until she accidentally hurt someone so bad that they went into a coma. The sudden introspective that moment gave her forced her to rethink her entire life. Since then, she's turned her entire personality around, turning from "I'll cut you" to "Let's bake cookies!". She doesn't talk about her past much, but she still lives in the slums lol!! Family: A dad who's probably nice. Idk i dont think about family much I always prioritize friendships Strategy: PSHAWWWW who needs that?? Paulie's strategy is to just make friends and be nice! It worked for Owen, right? What They Want the Money For: Moving away from her bad neighbourhood and opening a bakery! Fears: Nobody liking her, accidentally losing her temper, deep water, unfamiliar animals being just a LITTLE too close for comfort (she enjoys animals when she knows them) Life Goals: Moving to a nice little suburb and opening a cute little pastel bakery!!!

Type of People They’d… Be Friends With: Everyone! As long as you're nice and kind. She'd be Extra Friends with someone who can match/keep up with her energy and go along with her Fun Schemes Consider an Enemy: Assholes. Disloyal and dishonest people. Debbie Downers when they bring others down. People who remind her of what she used to be. Be romantically Interested In: A girl who'd validate her and make her laugh and bake with her. Someone who'd eat her cookies and cuddle and watch horror movies.

Favorite Flower: She actually loves pink flowers! It doesn't matter what kind, she just thinks pink flowers are cute. Cherry blossoms feel like something she'd love Favorite Season of the Year: Spring, at least when it doesn't feel like Winter's hangover Favorite Drink: Hot chocolate (she drinks it year round!) but otherwise she just drinks water because it's HEALTHY!!!

Skills Strengths: She's kind and caring!! She's full of energy!! She's like the mom friend, she cares so much about everyone around her and she's full of determination and love Weaknesses: She sees the world as black and white with no moral grey, she's a little ditzy, blunt af, extremely gullible because she's such an idealist, she worries a lot about things that are out of her control, worries that others secretly hate her Hobbies: Baking!!! She also likes to play on her Gameboy Advance and watch horror movies. Her favourite movie killer is Chucky or Freddy Krueger. She thinks a killer with personality can carry a movie well. Things They’re Good At: Running, baking, fist-fighting (much to her dismay), carrying things, climbing, most Physical Shit Things They’re Bad At: Swimming, anything that requires fine balance like dancing, physically incapable of singing or any fine arts

look i just finished drawing her!!

EPIC ART drawn by ylvaliiw on instagram and this is EXACTLY how i picture her in my head

ive also been throwing around an oc concept exclusively to audition for garden (paulie’s been my oc for years now) so keep ur. eyes. open.

[theparaminds]

It’s not as though Natalie Green knew what this year held in store or what would exist at the end of the road. Though, at every step of the way, he kept going. Embodied in both his music and his story of perseverance, is a rare example of an artistic soul that found peace where few would ever dream to look. It took months of learning and continued questioning of himself and what he wanted to be. But in the end, it resulted in a man anew.

With a new project taking shape in studio sessions that contrast his earlier life, Natalie Green is finding a voice he previously was nervous to share, speaking louder than before. The ideas, memoirs and anxieties he hopes to express have become clear. With every note, he continually finds himself as much as he does connect to those who battle the same confusions.

Natalie Green now stands with a new asset he hadn’t held prior, the ability to embark on the path he wants, not the one life throws him upon. He can stand and become the artist he visualizes, the artist he knows is essential to reveal to the world. For the first time in a while, Natalie Green is in control, with a steering wheel in hand and a road of possibility on the horizon.

Our first question as always, how’s your day going and how are you?

Things have been hectic, but good. Good busy you know? There are different kinds of busy and this one has been all positive.

On your last EP last year, it sounded like you weren’t fully at peace, do you find that you are now after a year of personal introspection?

Yeah for sure, when I was writing the EP, I was in a really terrible place physically, emotionally and mentally. It was a passion project when it came out, I didn’t have to think about it. Whereas now, I’ve got a place, I’m not just in my car anymore, I emotionally feel a lot more centered, I have my head on straight. I’ve found friends and people that I love to surround myself with. Everything’s been a thousand times better.

When you’re looking within this shift you’ve undertaken, where do you think you’ve personally grown the most, whether artistically or as an individual?

I think I’ve gotten more empathetic towards people. All people. As well, I feel more self-aware. What I realized when living in my car was that I didn’t know myself. Living in a house again with roommates made me, in a new way, learn more about myself, and where I needed to spend a lot of time mentally. As far as musically, I feel more confident, I think that’s apparent in my vocals and instrumentation, they’re far more personal in that sense.

With the new year in season, being a time of reflecting upon the past year, do you have any memories that stick out to you as positive through the difficult and turbulent times?

There’s a lot. I don’t know if there’s one specific moment, but definitely moving into the apartment. I also got to play a private show in my friend’s backyard for all my close friends. That was a big moment for me. There’s a lot of moments where I had friends reassure me, and believe in me when I wasn’t doing so myself. One of my best friends from back home came to live here a little while ago, that was really special to have him back. The whole tour with Roy, of course, was inspiring, to see him do all that and becoming closer to everyone I went on tour with will forever be in my memories.

With that tour, and even more so working on Cat Heaven, happening while you were working on your own projects, did they influence the way you approached your new work?

There are certain things I learn from other people I can implement in my own music later. There will be something I’ll figure out while I’m working with someone, be it a sound or a new style, I can kinda pull out later. A lot of it is just talking to others and learning their inspirations and how that reflects in their music. Then turning and comparing that to my own influences and seeing how I do the same. It’s all just inspiration.

To touch on that idea of inspiration, you’ve mentioned in the past how you have a wide range on influences in your life in terms on music, but in the last year, which artists have really been influencing the work you’re putting out?

There’s been a lot of really great artists I just got into this past year-ish, but a big one is Michelle Zauner, who’s the singer for Japanese Breakfast. I’m hugely inspired by her, the fact she directs her own music videos and does all her own creative output, it’s really amazing. I’ve also loved the movies of Michel Gondry and the writing of Charlie Kaufman, anything they work on is amazing and so intoxicating.

With this new album you’re ramping up to release, has there been a difference in approach to how you wrote songs and lyrics? And how does that process look like?

I mean it’s been different for almost every song, I tried to do the album the same way I did the EP, and it wasn’t working right. Every song I wrote just felt lacklustre or the same. So to change it up, I had to change my methods, like the first song I wrote, I did two guitar parts first and then I sang, then produced over. That is very different to the EP which was songs first then lyrics. There are certain songs where before I recorded, I had a guitar riff and just wrote the song in a very traditional way, just chords and singing. Maybe loops would be first at times, and then they’d be built off of. Everything has been different.

It’s interesting because it sounds like you’ve really been adding more to your skill set as an artist, would you say that if you had a tool belt of music, that you’ve been adding towards it in the last while?

Yeah, definitely. I’ve been doing that my whole life honestly. I started in bands, not knowing how to produce or anything, but I could play guitar and from then I learned the bass just to add of that. Then I learned production, and that is forever useful. Now I’m working more to be an artist and learn what that entails and requires. Every time I learn something new I really take that and hold onto it until needed.

If you could create your ideal music creation space, where would it be and how would it look like?

That’s interesting, It would really just need to be a secluded place. A place I could disappear and a place I could be as loud as I want as late as I want. No interruptions, all the equipment I needed. Some food, drinks and a bathroom, that’s all I need.

Over the year you’ve posted some concerts you went to, like Paramore in the summer. Are there other shows you saw live that really had an impact upon you and maybe changed the way you approach live shows yourself?

Well, of course, the tour with Roy, he’s been super inspiring in general and watching the man work is amazing. He has a lot of fantastic ideas and he goes through with them. I saw Daisy as well, and they’re so good live. Solange was also amazing with her stage design and her choreography. I also saw Soccer Mommy pretty recently, and it wasn’t too extravagant but it was so well done and exciting to see as a fan of the music.

When you’re on stage, even something like the backyard show you mentioned earlier, what’s the emotion you’re trying to achieve and what is the mindset that you find yourself within at that moment?

When I played that private show, I realized all my songs were pretty mellow and hard to dance or move to. All except for Beachwood didn’t translate very well. So with this new project, I want them to translate really well live, to feel energetic, to feel lively. The songs are just fun. But I keep that emotion in and make sure that I don’t lose what made the earlier work so special and important.

What’s been the overall message you’re trying to pursue this new work and what is it you’re hoping to convey?

I kinda just want to tell my story. Or a story of mine. If people learn things from that, its great, but I’m just saying what happened in my experience. What I realized is that there’s a lot of shitty things that happened to me in my life, but the truth is that things could be a lot worse, so far they’ve been pretty good for the most part. While I had those tough days, I’m still here kicking it.

I apologize if it’s a repeated question, but with the topic of your story, what’s the meaning behind the stage name you’ve taken upon yourself?

It is and it isn’t part of my story in a way. A big part of that choice was that I wanted to separate myself from my old name and work. I wanted this to be super new. The name is taken from two names of people I am very inspired by. And it also, to me, sounds like the quintessential hot girl from a high school, the girl in the coming of age movie they all go after.

If you had a message to artists out there who may find themselves in the same space as you have previously found yourself within, those who may feel as unsure, what would be your lesson to pass on?

I think it doesn’t matter if you’re as confident or as talented as you want to be, as long as you recognize what sounds good to you, just put out the song. It doesn’t matter if you think your voice was bad, just keep progressing as an artist. If you wait for that progression you’ll never put stuff out, you’ll never be happy. With whatever you have right now, just start putting something, anything, out.

Follow Natalie Green on Twitter and Instagram

Listen on Soundcloud and Spotify

All Photos by Guthrie King

[viralhottopics]

‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Last Week They Took An L, But This Week They Bounced Back Kinda

Welcome, welcome, welcome. After last weeks very entertaining trainwreck, I gotta say I was pretty fucking pumped to revisit the AYTO cast. Nothing makes these recaps easier to write than failure of other people. Lucky for me, this cast not only fails but also does some straight-up stupid shit in the process. I mean, between Tyler and Carolina these recaps practically write themselves.

Anyways, Im drinking cheap wine and my laptop is charged. Lets begin now.

AFTER BLACKING OUT AND LOSING A SHIT TON OF MONEY

Carolina has produced enough tears to give the town of Flint some clean water. Shes literally moving from one location to the other just fucking sobbing. Joeys pretty upset toonow hes a loveless trashman. Sad!

They are both like kneeling on the floor, praying to sweet baby Jesus that they can overcome this horrible hardship of losing your love of two weeks. Joeys low-key kneeling down to pick up some trash off the ground because you cannot take the man away from his livelihood, goddammit.

Kathryn/Rushboobs is like ARE WE DONE?? to Ozzy and its like, uh, is this a trick question? Oh duh, I forgot shes an education major from FSU. Someone needs to basically fucking spell out how this game works for her.

Ozzy tries to let her down easy and she storms off because how dare he try and focus on the whole object of the game!?

Kam, the girl with the grey/purple hair as my mom calls her (like, mom its a three fucking letter name), is like “OKAY EVERYONE STOP FUCKING CRYING.” I am Kam, Kam is me.

Rushboobs cant help that she has a lot of feelings and the fucking mentality of a 14-year-old.

Tee is like “I WANT A BOYFRIEND WITH A BRAIN.” And when you want an intellectual boyfriend the first place you should go is an MTV reality show. *cough, cough BULLSHIT cough*

Shes into Oswaldo, who is low-key hot but also looks like Austin Ames friend from (the one in the middle). YEAH, I KNOW, IM FUCKING RIGHT.

He is talking about how he wants to be a businessman and watches Animal Planet because knowledge is power. Yeah, I bet watching episodes of is really going to put you ahead in your fuckin career.

Honestly, I cannot hear him saying anything besides diner girl.

THE CHALLENGE

Can I just saylots of slow motion running this season. We get it. You use special effects.

The game involves the casts social media and they have to answer questions based off their profiles. Apparently they all are fucking crazy online too, further solidifying the fact that they will never get jobs in the real world.

Except Joey. Trash collecting doesnt have a lot of requirements to it.

They all are asked the same questions and need to find the answer for their partner in a maze like web that Ryan so cleverly calls the inter-net.

Whenever Ryan says something fucking cheesy that cast cracks up like its the best shit theyve ever heard. I imagine producers are standing behind them with like guns pointed to their backsfucking laugh at Ryans pun or Ill murder your family. Carolina, shed a tear if you need help.

Thats not really a thing, you fucking idiots.

It goes like this:

Question: Biggest turnoff in a guy?

JOEY: I know KARI likes a guy who listens, because I listen. ALSO JOEY: I know KARI likes a guy who eats food because I eat food.

Joey, be a doll and never speak again. Thanks!

Question: If I won the lotto what would I buy?

NORMAL PEOPLE: A plane ticket anywhere in the world! NORMAL PEOPLE: I would donate to charity! NORMAL PEOPLE: I would pay loans! HAYDEN: ME BUY LARGE TRUCK.

Question: Whats a gross habit you have?

OZZY: Im just here to fuck Carolina, so Im picking the first thing I see *picks wipes boogers on the wall* CAROLINA: Omg he knows me so well!!!

Note to self, never, ever go to Carolinas booger house.

Hayden and Rushboobs get in first, Joey and KARI get second. To make it even more awkward, Ozzy and Carolina get third. Oh, I love this.

Ryan tells them they are all going hiking with monkeys and Ozzy has to act excited, like he doesnt do that every other day.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Michael is like I WAS AN EMT BUT I QUIT BECAUSE OLD PEOPLE, AM I RIGHT? Thats like being like I WAS A VET, BUT ANIMALS, RIGHT? Michael, further implicating himself as unemployable.

Gianna is like, still having a lady boner over Michael and Hayden has developed a city on Friendzone Island where he is now the mayor. Shes like, laying all over him and totally loving the fact that hes more whipped than a girl in BDSM porn.

Carolina is in love with Ozzy faster than President Trump can delete the LGBT Rights page from his website. Quite suddenly, hes the hottest guy in the house and she liked him the whole time she was with Joey. Hmm, sounds like alternative facts.

Shes like “MY PARENTS WOULD LOVE YOU” hes like “mmmm okay, Booger rubber.”

Also, when talking to the camera separately, Carolina seems like the most boring person literally ever. Was she on a sedative? Why do I feel like they put her on this show like, mid-wisdom teeth removal?

Rushboobs is pounding wine, honestly same, while Ozzy and Carolina start making out.

Tyler, this seasons resident fuckboy, is like Shannon is fun and flirty! Which is the way of saying easy! Shannon, you seem nice, but when you speak I want to throw myself in front of a fucking train. Her voice truly sounds like everything annoying in the world just took a massive shit in her vocal chords. Did she do the voice over for Bubbles in ?

Taylor is like “dafuq is this?” And straight-up calls Tyler out. Shes like you didnt even get to know me very calmly and Tyler is like WOAH.

TYLER: YOU ARENT MY GIRLFRIEND TAYLOR: I know, I just wanted to get to know you because you seem cool TYLER: WOW, WHAT A CRAZY BITCH

Rushboobs is talking to Ozzy about how she still cares about him and shell never forget the 14 days they had together on a reality show, where everything is pretty much superficial.

Carolina comes in hot and is like “RUSHBOOBS DOESNT KNOW IF IM GOOD FOR OZZY OR NOT! not even understanding that they arent talking about her.

Joey comes in to defend Rushboobs and mostly just shit talk Carolina. Joey starts yelling at Carolina about how she juggles guys and shes crazy and all this other bullshit. Joey, pull your tampon out and quit being a little baby about this. Move the fuck on. Youre a single trashmanyour life can only go up from here!

Joeys like “WHY DONT YOU TAKE A FIRST CLASS FLIGHT HOME WITH OZZY!!!!” And its like, ooooohhh good one, bro, and Ozzys like uh, Im from here. Ozzys mom will be picking him up after the show, thanks for the concern though.

Shannon is talking to Tyler and I swear I have heard more interesting shit come out of a Baby Born doll. Why do you sound like you survive on a diet of rainbows and helium? Whatever, they annoy me. Moving on.

THE DATE WITH ALL THE LITTLE BIRDIES AND THE MONKEYS

They go to play with the monkeys and Carolina is like we took food out and the animals attacked us. Wow, groundbreaking.

She and Ozzy start making out and its like, could you just chill for a second? There are fucking animals eating corn off your head.

Joey starts complaining to KARI about Carolina and shes like I think you still like her. KARIs in med school man, dont fuck with her. Also, she can literally see into your mind with those big-ass eyes of hers.

Hes like “I SWEAR ON MY LIFE IM OVER IT! I SWEAR ON EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER LOVED THAT I AM SO OVER THAT HORRIBLE, HATEFUL, CRAZY BITCH CAROLINA.” The trashman doth protest too much.

KARI leaves because she doesnt need this bullshit. She can fucking read minds and save people. Time to move the fuck on.

Am I watching ? Because I swore I just heard Joey say can I steal her for a minute? Joey, do not fucking try to hybrid my reality shows rn!

He pulls Carolina aside and is like KARI WONT TALK TO ME BECAUSE OF YOU!!! Uh, wait what? Carolina starts yelling and this is just a goddam mess. Honestly, the sexual tensionyou could cut it with a knife.

Ozzy goes to save Carolina before she starts rubbing boogers all over Joeys face.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Carolina and Ozzy are in the Truth Booth, thank god. Put me out of my fucking misery.

But wait, Ryan offers a deal where they dont send Ozzy and Carolina and they take $150,000 bucks instead. But if they take the money, they can never send those two in the truth booth again. Damn Ryan, back at it again with the shitty trades.

The house is divided with Kam being like CAROLINA IS CRAZY TAKE THE MONEY and everyone else being like hmmm idk.

Ryan asks Derrick, who is like the unofficial spokesperson of the house, what their plan is and they decide to not take the truth booth trade. Damn, Ive heard stupider shit come out of Kellyanne Conways mouth.

And lookie here, NO MATCH.

Moral of the story: Listen to Kam. Listen to me. Never make a decision on your own. Bye!

Carolina is crying again. Someone put a Brita filter under this bitch.

Rushboobs is like wow this is so sad *smiles* *dances* *throws flowers around the room* *throws party*

Joey and Rushboobs bond over alcohol and their hatred of Carolina and start flirting. This is how it goes, I shit you not:

RUSHBOOBS: Stop! JOEY: No, you stop *leans in closer* RUSHBOOBS: No, you stop *leans in closer* ME: NO SERIOUSLY, FUCKIN STOP.

Ive seen better flirting skills from a fucking third grader. Where did you learn to communicate with the opposite sex, Rushboobsyour students? Joey, I dont even want to know how your livelihood has affected your lovelife.

Tee is like “I CANNOT WAIT TO FUCK OSWALDO,” and its like, wow okay. Shoutout to her parents. But also, do you girl #womensmarch

KARI and Tyler start talking. Tylers playing the role of the victim like I cant help that every girl wants to bone me! wow, life must be so hard for you. How do you even get up in the morning?

Tyler is hot though, dammit. Always the pretty ones. KARI ends up straddling him and they go to bed together. Well. Okay then.

Meanwhile, Kam and Eddie are hanging out and giving me couple goals. If they arent a match Im fucking throwing hands.

MTV: Kam and Eddie, you are not a couple ME: CASH ME OUTSIDE, HOW BOW DAH

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

The girls pick tonight so hopefully it wont be too much of a shit show.

Rushboobs picks Joey, a trashy match made in heaven.

Tee picks Osvaldo, the knowledgeable son of a bitch. I imagine he is just whispering animal facts into her ear all night.

Hannah picks Derrick/Kellyanne.

Casandra and Jaylen. Yawn.

Kam and Eddie, because duh.

Shannon picks Tyler. Yuck. Ryans like Tyler, hows it going? And Tylers like “I GOT TO KNOW KARI INTIMATELY!” Okay. Not the question but whatever. So classy. Goddam, I want to kiss your face but also hit it with shovel???

Hes like I was sauced and tries to act like it was a drunken thing. Very cool of him. And STOP USING THE TERM SAUCED. Like I literally just picture you rolling around in marinara.

KARIs like fuck it, yeah I gave him a handjob. Wow, okay MTV youre really doin the damn thing. Honestly, who hasnt given a regretful handjob?

Taylor is crying because shes like wait you never even spoke to me! Everyone, including me, feels bad for Taylor because like, Tylers fucking gross.

Tyler: The funny thing about a conversation is give me a handjob.

Tylers like I guess Im the bad guy and its like, hmmm, what gave it away? I shall play you the worlds smallest violin. Can you hear it?

Carolina picks Hayden and Giannas like “WTF NO.”

Gianna picks Ozzy and Ozzy literally looks like he wants to kill himself. Relatable.

Alicia picks Mike. Cool story.

Taylor comes up and crying and Ryans like how do you feel? Uh how do you think she fucking feels? Is the crying not a clue? Shes like I feel disrespected but honestly, when am I ever not. This is like a speech from a movie.

TAYLOR TO TYLER: But waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought, useless and disappointing. (name the movie)

Taylor picks Michael as her perfect match.

Andre is like “Taylor is hot and sad. I make happy. We bone. Yay!”

Im endorsing that couple RIGHT THE FUCK NOW.

Andre and KARI are left.

They are all like we cannot get another blackout! and Im like just fuck me up, fam. Give me another blackout, make my goddam day.

But alas, they get 4 BEAMS. Not bad for a bunch of pretty degenerates.

Cant wait to see what fuckery next week holds!

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from ‘Are You The One?’ Recap: Last Week They Took An L, But This Week They Bounced Back Kinda