#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be

[tea-cat-arts]

Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will

[sniigura-archive]

imagine that somehow adam runs into judas or lucifer, and since adam is alone standing there (he is waiting for his family) they make fun of adam thinking that his relationship with reader in college didnt work "ha!, that bitch couldnt stand youre lazy ass, i knew it" and before adam could tell them to fuck off, reader appears with all of their 8 kids that go to hug him and judas or lucifer has the most WTF face ever and adam is SOO smirking while pics one of his kids in one arm and holds reader waist with the other. This encounter fills up his ego so much worse

that inspired me to write this. it’s like roughly 5/6 years post college graduation

cw/tw: pregnancy, children

Even though it was close to dinner and bed time for the children, the sun was still mercilessly beating down on Adam. He stood under the shade of a tree, his bag laid by the tree trunk.

The boys were on the playground, while you and Eden were at the restroom right now.

„No way! Adam, is that you?“ A familiar voice called out.

Adam turned around, Judas and Lucifer were really the last people he expected to see. Great.

„ 'Sup?“ He tried to sound as casual as possible.

„Adam, my old friend, what are you up to these days?“ Lucifer asked him, taking a good look at Adam. Since Lucifer and Lilith have been completely cut off, it must be hard for them to keep tap on him.

„Eh, you know. Have been here and there.“ The last thing he wanted was to share any personal details with the demons.

Judas smirked, which was a bad sign, „You here to pick up chicks? Lots of hot single moms around.“

Ah. His wedding ring was getting cleaned right now.

„You speaking from experience?“ Adam asked him back with a raised brow.

„Sure, buddy.“ The way Adam wanted to punch Judas for calling him buddy, „It sucks being single, don’t you agree?“

Why can’t they ask if he’s still banging you like normal people?

„Daddy! Do we really have to go home now?“ The 4 year old, curly headed girl asked him while running up to Adam.

Adam immediately went to bend down, picking up his first born. He gently pushed the hair out of her little face, smiling at her. Her hair was neatly put into french braids.

„Sweetheart, when your Mommy says we have to go home it’s time to go home.“ The girl pouted at Adam’s answer, resting her head against Adam’s shoulder.

She sighed heavily and mumbled out a detached Okay. The way Lucifers and Judas mouths fell open wasn’t missed by Adam.

„The children are too quick for me now. Being outrun by toddlers is really embarrassing.“ Lucifer and Judas whipped their heads back to look at you.

Your sundress hugged every curve perfectly, while your hands rested below your very pregnant belly. You’ve perfected the waddle at this point. Brushing past Judas and Lucifer, you let Adam wrap his arm around you to give your forehead a kiss.

„You remember Lucifer and Judas, right?“ Adam said to you.

You bit your lip at that, stifling your laughter, „How’s it going guys?“

„They’re here to pick up hot single moms.“ Adam told you with laughter.

You sided eyed both of the men, while they fumbled for words.

„It’s not like that!“

„Adam is just messing around…“

The silence was painful. Adam enjoyed it tho. You shifted around on your feet, while Adam went to rub a hand over your stomach.

„…How is the family life treating you both?“ Judas asked, his eyes focused on your stomach.

„It’s good. Nothing is more satisfying.“ Adam told them.

Eden started to squirm around in Adam’s arms.

„Can we gooOooo?“ She whined, rubbing her eyes.

You and Adam nervously exchanged a look. She was close to a tantrum, since it was getting late and she was tired and hungry.

„Boys! Let’s get going!“ Adam called out to the playground.

„There are more…“ Judas mumbled under his breath.

„Lili and I are also trying for a child right now! How long did it take you guys to convince?“ Lucifer tried to keep the chat going. He couldn’t come home without information for his own wife.

„We…never really tried?“ You nervously said.

The twin boys kept digging in the sand, not a care in the world.

„I fucking swear they have selective hearing.“ Adam grumbled out.

Putting your index and thumb together, you placed them under your tongue to let out a loud whistle sound. The boys whipped their heads to you immediately and started running towards you immediately. Even Eden turned around to look at you.

„Good boys! Thank you for listening! It’s time to go home now.“ You ruffled the twins heads.

„Aww. Really?“

„Mama, five more minutes?“

„No. Get going.“ You pushed them towards the way to the car.

The boys immediately started running again, pushing each other while screeching. Eden whined some more, and Adam let her down. She immediately forced her way in between her brothers, easily out running and pushing them.

„Let’s go. I’m pretty sure I have to pee again.“ You groaned, wrapping your arm around Adam’s. Pressing your cheek against Adam’s arm you looked up to him.

„Yeah, we also need to get those little terrorists into bed. It was..Sure fucking something seeing you chumps again.“

And with that you and Adam went after your children.

[lodeddiperactivate]

Falling out (timeskip with you and Rodrick)

A/N: Found this in my draft. Started writing it a while back with the intention of turning it into angst with you and Rodrick fighting over what happened but got lazy! Just gonna post this as a blurb/drabble, not planning to turn it into a full fic series anymore :/

You and Rodrick have been friends since highschool, and at some point, yeah it felt as if there was something between the two of you. However, neither one of you did anything about it for the sake of not ruining the friendship. Eventually, after graduation, you two went your separate ways. He became more focused with his music career, and you moved to New York to become a journalist. You thought that was the end of it until one day you got a call from your mom asking you to help Rodrick find an apartment in New York.

It had been 5 years since the last time you've seen each other at your highschool graduation, and you honestly believed that moving to another state will ensure that you won't ever get to see him again. The thing is you two started having a fallout when you heard rumors that he was dating Heather.

Your mom instructed you to meet Rodrick at a cafe near your apartment so that he can also tour any vacant units in your building. You protested at first but there's nothing you can really do as both your families remained close throughout the years. And now Rodrick is moving to New York because he got accepted as a Financial Analyst at some corporation, which is another surprise as you thought he had pursued music full-time.

~

As soon as you entered the cafe, you started looking for a table since you assumed he'd be late but to your surprise, he was already sat at a table by the window. He wore a light blue button down and some beige corduroy pants. His expression was vacant, as if the 5 years that went by had sucked his soul out of his body. He saw you and waved, and feigned a small smile as you walked towards him.

"Hey"

"Hey there, thank you for agreeing to meet with me," he said. He sounded so formal, you weren't really used to this new Rodrick.

"Not a problem, how have you been?"

"Fine, great. I got a job at this company and thought it would be a good opportunity for me to move here as well," he paused. "You look good."

"You too," you replied as both of you sat down. You were both testing the waters as to what topics should you talk about and which ones are off the table. After some silence, you decided to suggest that you both order.

"Oh I already ordered some chocolate chip pancakes for the table, and some orange juice," he smiled. Oh that smile! You missed it so much.

"I love chocolate chip pancakes,"

"I know," he looked at his hands in front of him, clasped together. "I remember."

"Uhm so my mom told me you were looking for an apartment?"

"Yes, I am!" He said as if snapping out of a trance. "I have all my documents with me." You smiled at him, and he smiled back and for some time, the two of you started to relax.

The pancakes arrived and you both ate for awhile until you decided to simply rip off the bandaid.

"So how are you and Heather?" He seemed surprise with the question but felt like he already had prepared an answer.

"We broke up actually. Second year in college. She said that I was holding her back," he trailed off.

"Oh I'm so sorry to hear that."

"No, it's fine, she was right. Loded Diper wasn't going anywhere and I was basically flunking every one of my major subjects."

"Loded Diper's no longer playing?"

"Well, we're on a hiatus, at least until I figure things out and I will figure it out," he beamed at you with a certain level of reassurance, much like his old self, you thought. You smiled back and proceeded to finish the rest of the food.

"We can start touring some units that are available in my building," you started as both of you walked back to your apartment building. "When will you be starting at your new company?"

"Err, tomorrow actually."

"What?! You won't be able to find an apartment and sign a lease in New York in less than 24 hours, you know!"

"Yes yes I know."

"Thank you," Rodrick looked at you and you looked at him. You missed him so much and you hoped that this will be your chance to get back to what you two were like before. He held your gaze as if he's searching yours for some sign that everything will be alright between you and him. You leaned closer and before you know it, he had let his forehead touch yours.

After some time, you lifted your head, "Okay okay, here's to hoping that the unit is still available in my building. I can guarantee the landlord that you're a good tenant and maybe that will speed up the process."

It didn't. In fact, even after touring some other apartments, you two were left with zero to nothing chances of signing a lease within the week. You were both exhausted so you've settled with him staying your apartment at least until he finds a place of his own.

[wyntereyez]

And here's the next exciting installment of wyntereyez screams into the void. Part Two - the rest of my immediate family.

This part is hard for me to face. Because I do love my family, really, I do. But I need to accept that I can love them, but also hate the way they treated me. I was forever altered, probably for the worse, because of everything. But there's this little voice in my head that whispers, "Things could have been worse. Everyone did their best. You were loved."

You can be loved and cared for and still not have your needs met.

As I've said, my mother left us when I was thirteen. Choosing who to stay with was a no-brainer: one parent wanted us, one didn't. She didn't deserve me.

Now, before this, I had no problems with my Dad. He was a bit distant, but he did things with me - more than my mother did, when I actually think about it.

When she left, my Dad had almost no support network. His family, which I will go into later, was shit. He didn't really have many close friends. He's an introvert. He doesn't like going out much, or traveling. He likes to spend his time off doing projects around the house. He actually is what he believes me to be, which I think is part of problem.

(He never grasped that a house in the middle of nowhere next to a small town with nothing to do was a very bad environment for me.)

But I digress.

When my mother left, I was thirteen, my brother was eight, and my sister was four. My Dad pulled me aside and said we had to do what we could to make sure they had a good childhood. And it never occurred to me to wonder, "what about my childhood?" It pretty much ended that day.

I'd had chores, of course, which I only reluctantly did for an allowance. Trying to get a thirteen-year-old to actually do them is a trial! And now, I had more chores than I'd ever had before - and no allowance. Because my mother had left after we'd gotten a new house and car, and she couldn't be bothered to pay any kind of child support, my Dad was left with a lot of huge debt, and he had to work more hours just to keep afloat. I learned many years later he'd even sold some of his model trains he'd had since he was a child just so he could afford Christmas presents.

Because he had no support network and my mother couldn't be bothered to take us until we were older and she could sleep and ignore us, babysitting duty fell to me. Not at first; my younger siblings did go for a few years to a babysitter, but that wasn't sustainable, and once they got a bit of independence, guess who had no life.

Because they were too young to be left alone, I couldn't do any after school activities, because I had to watch them. I got in trouble once because one teacher wanted us to stay after to rehearse a play, and I couldn't.

I had few friends, because I couldn't do anything with them. Classmates assumed I enjoyed being at home and hated hanging out with others, so I was treated like a shy introvert that few talked to. And a lazy one, since I never volunteered for after-school activities.

This also meant I couldn't get a job. We only had one vehicle, and I was in the middle of nowhere; five miles from my tiny town which had nowhere a teenager could work. I didn't have friends who could drive me around. Not that I could leave the house anyway.

By the time I graduated high school, I had almost no social skills, but I was expected to know how to go out and get a job and go to college - things I figured out entirely on my own, might I add.

I should also mention a few other things. First, I had the misfortune of being my Dad's confidante since, as I said, he wasn't big on friends. You know how psychologists are saying these days how parents should treat children as a fellow adult? Yeah. It's awful. I was somehow supposed to process these big, adult emotions and problems - without being able to share mine in return. This is something I'll come back to later. I was supposed to listen, and sympathize, and it was too much for me.

And then there's the chores. So. Many. Chores. I was the only one to do dishes. For years. It got to the point where I would BEG for my siblings to take turns once they were old enough to help, but nope, it was my job. And if I didn't do them, my Dad would yell. Sometimes, after I did dishes, my sister would make something to eat. She'd put the dishes into the sink and laugh, because she knew I'd be forced to do them even though I'd already done them that day. To this day, it's hard for me to do dishes. Sometimes it takes me days to tackle the dishes because I just CAN'T.

Yes, my Dad yelled a lot. Usually at me. He didn't used to, but stress and grief made him angry a lot. I try to justify it by telling myself that he was that way because of the pain from my mother leaving him.

IT'S NO EXCUSE.

I suspect this is the root of my anxiety. I really don't like it when people yell, and I got yelled at a lot for being me.

Eventually, my Dad bought a second vehicle, a barely-adequate family car that I was allowed to use for work and school. And also for taking my siblings anywhere they wanted to go, since they actually had friends and activities they could attend. They got to be children and teens instead of a mini-adult. A lot of people - including a fucking TEACHER - assumed I was their mother because at that point, I'd been their authority figure so long that I seemed older than I was.

I was five years older than my brother. My Dad wonders why I utterly hate it when people assume I'm the mother of the family.

My Dad seemed to be trying to force me into the mold of a caretaker, a role that I don't actually naturally fit into. Hell, on weekends where my mother did take my siblings (I refused to go) my Dad would go out with one of my uncles (well, an ex-uncle by marriage) who would expect me to watch my young cousins for free while they went out.

My Dad just did not get that I didn't want to babysit. I watched my siblings all week; I needed time off, too. I didn't need to be stuck babysitting for free, with no choice because my ex-uncle would just show up with the kids. When I tried to protest this, my Dad got angry and told me it was 'good practice.'

Practice for WHAT. I already knew at that point that I was never having kids. Quit trying to force me into this unwanted role, you're just making me hate it all the more.

I'd thought that once I was out of high school, I'd be free. I was allowed to stay at home while I worked to save money as well as attend community college, with the plan of eventually transferring to a good college far away. And, it might even have happened that way...if my Dad hadn't married the worse creature possible.

She gets her own section. Let's just say, she taught me all about emotional abuse.

She brought out the worst in my Dad without him realizing it; he suddenly became less trusting, and even more volatile. He actually had the gall to ground me. An adult. Who had a job and college classes. For the crime of standing up to my step-monster because I didn't want to be her personal servant.

I did finally escape, but things still sucked. I'll do a bit of a bullet point list.

I was expected to go along with plans made without me. A good example is my college breaks; it was assumed that I would go home, but my Dad couldn't be bothered to tell me when he was picking me up, and if I called to ask because hey, I needed to know what day he was picking me up, then he'd snap at me for being too persistent. And yet, if I don't immediately answer him, he dogpiles me by having my siblings - and even my freaking mother - try to contact me. I also had no say in how long the visits were, which meant I was trapped for weeks there with the vile step-monster.

I would get into trouble for buying things. Apparently, a little treat once in awhile was not allowed, and would leave me bankrupt. One time I had to show him I bought pads, because the she-beast had goaded him into it.

I'm too ambitious. My goals had always been to go to college and get a degree, but my Dad had always acted like I wanted too much in life and should be content in the kind of boring, repetitive job that drives me insane. It has never once occurred to him that I thrive in environments where I'm going out and doing new things and learning. As I've said, he thinks I'm like him, and has said as much. And I just nod and agree, because he gets annoyed at me otherwise. It took me years to realize that his version of 'too ambitious' is actually 'things most people want to accomplish.' He is, however, very proud of my sister for doing the things that he thinks I shouldn't do.

He expects me to be obedient to the point that I will drop everything for him. Twice, when I was living with him after being forced to move back, I'd made plans to go somewhere. I'd informed him of these plans. He forgot, made his own plans in the same timeframe, and when I reminded him, got angry because he expected me to take care of his dogs. Why the hell couldn't anyone else care for them? Why should I drop everything to watch dogs? Oh, right, because I was forced to do that as a child. One of those trips was a convention. He made me leave a day early, buy a new train ticket back since I couldn't switch it, and lose out on a photo op. He's not even sorry. I have such huge caretaker burnout that I genuinely think I'll never have pets of my own because the thought of taking care of them gives me anxiety.

And I can't tell him how I feel about any of this. If I express ANY kind of negativity, or any problems in my life, he'll immediately start talking about how my mother left him. Apparently, any problems I may have are completely invalid because she left him THIRTY YEARS AGO. And my sister will immediately back him up, because she got a more normal life and doesn't understand why I have issues.

I'm tired of this. I don't want to feel guilty for being my own person.

I was discouraged from doing anything that didn't fit my Dad's image of me as someone who loves the simple life, despite that being the opposite of my personality.

The end result here is that I feel guilty doing things for myself, even when they're good for me, because I've been forced to think about others for most my life. I hide things from my family, like the trips I've taken, because anything that doesn't fit their image of me is either a waste that I'll be scolded for, or made fun of because apparently I'm not allowed to like things. I'm not supposed to have problems, or ambitions, or be anything in particular. I'm supposed to be ready to drop everything and do things for my family, even at a cost to myself.

[grandmanightmarerealm]

Please infodump at me about dyslexia and its assorted related disorders.

Okay, so right off the bat, a disclaimer: I personally am not dyslexic. I do have ADHD, but I haven't personally struggled with dyslexia, dysgraphia, etc.

My partner (M, 30) was diagnosed young, like pre-k or kindergarten. Writing his name was a huge struggle and he often spelled it in a way that looked like a different name. His mother also has dyslexia and was able to get him help via Special Education programs, which he DESPISED.

Eventually even with help, he was barely able to finish homework and began to refuse to do it. Teachers at his school were very cruel to him, often calling him stupid, lazy, "not applying himself", etc.

Physical activities came naturally to him. He excelled in art, woodshop, ceramics, and karate. Reading anything, for class or for fun, stopped and when he had to read aloud, was humiliating. Teachers sometimes forced him to read aloud more often, hoping to humble him into working harder. When his grades declined sharply, he stopped trying all together and ended up falling into using drugs and alcohol at only 11 years old. When he finally graduated high school, it was by the skin of his teeth and really only was pushed through because of a flaw with the schools budget, which he then blackmailed the school with. Not really his proudest moment, but it happened. Obviously, the majority of his issues came from the school system failing him. Teachers were ill-prepared to deal with his learning disability, or outright vicious, basically weaponized incompetence.

When we met, I was in school for Early Childhood Education (which I didn't end up completing, teaching has rather lost its luster for me) and I noticed how embarrassed he was when attempting to sign his name or write pretty much anything. I asked if he'd be willing to let me help him practice, and eventually, he did.

As a 23 year old, re-learning how to write was really embarrassing for him, but I was patient and didn't criticize. I helped him find a place where he could laugh at himself and his spelling mistakes, not feel shame in it. We literally got a handwriting book from the dollar tree, and I dotted together the alphabet so he could trace it over and over. He still won't be doing calligraphy anytime soon, but his writing is legible now, and that's what matters.

He's failed out of a lot of college programs. He ends up taking on too much and is put on probation, then on academic suspension. He then appeals it, and the cycle starts again. His latest run is the most successful; CNC Engineering. He works with his hands and with computer programs. One of the things that has helped so much is having a study partner. He really struggles with reading comprehension, and when the letters constantly seem to move or change, it's even harder. When he has chapters to read for class, he will often have me read with him or sometimes to him, so he can visualize the material instead of concentrating so hard on what each word means.

He's also started reading for fun, which is a HUGE step for him. He loves Star Wars, and I had a set of junior novels about Anakin Skywalker as a padawan, which I offered to him. They're short, less condensed than a regular novel, and align with his interests, so it made for a much more enjoyable experience. He reads every night before bed now!

Generally, something like an IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) will be figured out for grade/high school, but when you are in college, that no longer applies. However, most colleges will have a department that can help with accommodations needed for classes. This can include an array of options, from tutoring and extensions to large-print textbooks or audio-visual adaptive equipment.

Side note to wrap this up, people often shit all over Comic Sans as a font, but the stylization actually can make it much easier for people with dyslexia to absorb! I encourage my partner to use comic sans when writing a paper, so he can find mistakes easier and then selecting a new font when he's finished.

Basically, patience and encouragement is key.

[mchlgayser]

featuring: soft yandere!shidou ryusei x f!reader nana's lil notes: this came out so badly written im so sorry and a little ooc shidou ahead 😐 and this a college au, not following the bllk manga plot but my own. I do not own any of blue lock's characters. Credit to the artist.

warning: slight mention of stalking, yandere behaviour, possessive and harassment. Do not proceed if you are uncomfortable.

SHIDOU RYUSEI

"Ryusei-kun!" The said man heard his name being called, furrowing a brow at the woman "Here is today's english notes! I tried not to make it as messy as before though." Letting out a soft chuckle, she scratch the behind of her head

He smugly smirk "You really did what I said after all didn't you?" She looked down, after all not knowing what to say--but it is true. She's like a puppy following any orders he gave her without questioning.

He said his thanks and left afterwards leaving you at the corridor alone. It's been like that since then, him relying on you and you relies on him everytime.

"Hey you know all of these questions right?" Shidou asked from beside you, you nodded at him and smile "Yes why?" He smiled back "Great! Thanks." He leaned down on the table and sleep.

You blinked in surprise "Well....Alright."

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

An aggressive knock on the door woke Shidou up "Who is it?" As soon as he open the door, you greeted him with a bone crushing hug and cries in his arms "My boyfriend broke up with me! He kicked me out of the house because I didn't helped him throwing out the garbage! He said I'm useless!" You wailed in his arms, sobbing because you just got your heart broke, yet again.

He was in utter shock, don't know what to do. He break you off from the hug by pulling you away from him, snatching your tshirt collar and sigh "So you don't have elsewhere to stay at?" You sniffled and nodded, he groaned and stepped aside "Well I guess you can stay here as long as you like" You hug him once again and chuckle "Thank you!"

"Do you even loved your boyfriend? You were crying seconds ago and now you are laughing?" He smirk crouching down a bit to stare at you "I do! But now that you are here, I think that it wasn't so bad after all." You sincerely smile at him and letting yourself in.

Months turning to a whole year and here you are, still stuck at Shidou's house even after graduation and now working. Shidou is still jobless due to saying "Too lazy for work." all the time but not that you cared so much about it. You can afford another mouth to feed. "What are you cooking today?" You asked him watching as he stirred the pot "Curry rice. Go seat it's almost done!" You grin and hummed sitting comfortably at the chair waiting as he put the dish on the plate

He set the plate on the table watching as you eat everything but the veggies "Aren't you eating those?" You sheepishly smile but ignored him. He always know how you despises eating vegetables but it's good if it's once in a while right? "Oh here's your bento for today's lunch, make sure you eat all of it alright?" You nod with a big grin on your face

After everything's done, you get your bag ready to leave for work "Y/n!" He crushed you into a hug as you froze there not knowing what to do. This was also one of you both usual routine, everytime you goes to work Shidou never forgot to basked you in his warmth before you leave, one of your hand was holding on the lunch and the other one hanging around not knowing whether to put it around him or not

"Alright, now don't wanna be late for work! I'll see you tonight Ryusei-kun! You left the house in hurry

"Ahhh~ She smelled so good!~" Blushing at his own comment, he covered the half of his face with his hand and chuckle

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

"I understand. I will confirm regarding that matter immediately. Yes!" Hanging up on the phone, you continued typing on the computer not knowing that two of of your co-workers were talking about you. "Not to mention, she's nonchalantly smart-dressed. Have you seen her lunch?! It's amazing. She must got a boyfriend!"

'It's finally time to eat!'

"L/n-chan! Are you having your lunch now?" Your manager, Reo asked "Wow you sure have you hands full with that lunch! Did your boyfriend made all of that?!" You smile at him "Not a boyfriend but someone I lived with." He chuckle delightfully "Isn't it the same either way!~"

'But it's someone I lived with.' You sweat-dropped, "Amazing right, that person is always concerned about my well being." He did a confused face "Really! Even with the vegetables? You sure are loved..." You grinned at the thought " No actually, I'm not that into vegetables. Sometimes I would have the mood for something like...Sushi."

"Since you mentioned, should we go eat after this. Sushi~♡︎" You started to freak out "Eh it's fine! I got my lunch!" He mischievously smirk "I heard they just opened a new shop that has nice tempura prawn nearby? Such a nice lunch, why not have someone else eat it instead?"

'I'm so sorry Ryusei-kun.'

"Hmm, sure I guess it's fine to eat out sometimes." He started to cheer and drag you out

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

"Hey Y/n?" You hummed at him, still eating your dinner "How's your lunch today?" You started to panic, sweat dropping at the question "It's....delicious." You heard him huffs "I see. I'm glad that you eat everything for once. Even the vegetables."

'Crap'

He starts to walk to you "You see about that" Your voice has started to quaver in fear "Ahhhh!" You screamed, he leaned closer breath fanning over your neck "Sushi...and men perfume. We're you with a man?" Lips trembling in terror

'What's he? A detective?!'

"Y/n, I made it just for you but since you gave it someone else, oh well nevermind." He break away and walks away "I...'m sorry! Ryusei! ...I'm sorry it is my fault, I just felt like eating sushi. I won't give my lunch to other people anymore!" He breaks your arms away that is hugging him from behind and pets your head gently "Eat it properly alright?" "Yeah." "Even the vegetables?" "I'll try." He chuckled "Good. Now then, go and take your bath and get rid of that perfume scent. I already took mine." With that being said, he left to his room

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

"L/n-chan!" Your manager came in interrupting your lunch, he might have noticed the words 'LOVE' cutted out made from seaweed on your lunch, "Me going to sushi yesterday was found out and I got scolded." You scratch the back of your head hiding the tint of blush on your face

"Shit, they became even more lovey dovey." Reo murmured to himself "If it's come to this then...!"

"L/n-chan! Can you accompany me somewhere this evening!"

"I have someone I likes but he's the 'boring and lazy to do anything' types and not to mention grumpy." You backed away from him that is getting a little too close"But..."

"Pretty please..." "Ah, alright."

You texted Shidou;

Y/n: Sorry, my manager have something to consult about. I don't need dinner tonight.

Y/n: I'll just eat it tomorrow.

Y/n: I'm so sorry!

Shidou was staring at his phone in anger

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

"Haha Y/n-chan! You are surprisingly weak with alcohol! How cute!~" You smile, head feeling woozy "Yes I don't like drinking that often." "Your boyfriend doesn't let you go drinking? Isn't he holding you back? I wouldn't do that if I were him..."

You chuckle, a faint red spread across your cheeks "It wasn't like that, he's nice, always thinking about me." You failed to notice the side dagger your manager was giving at the compliment "...Say, isn't your way of walking kind of bad? Wanna take a break around here?" He suggested putting you down and lean you over a pole

Not a second later, you fell asleep snoring silently as Reo watches around in embarrassment. Turning around out of reflexed, Reo sees a tanned man around his age with spiky blonde hair standing with phone in his hand, he had a tight smile plastered over his face, an irk even appeared by the side of his head "Good evening, nice to meet you. I'm Y/n L/n's housemate and boyfriend, Ryusei."

"Sorry if my Y/n has been causing you trouble. I've come to pick her up." Reo had sweats all over his face, freaking out at the sight of a punk as your boyfriend?!

"Ehh...Eh...Boyfriend you said," "Ryusei-kun!" You slurred getting up and went to hugs him "Yeay! Did you come to pick me up-" He picked you up bridal style and chuckle "Of. Course."

"Thank you for taking care of her, sushi boy." With that Shidou sped up with you still in his arms

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

"...Hn.."

"You woke up." Froze at the voice, you turned your head around seeing Shidou seating over your futon with his back facing you "Oh Ryusei-kun, you went to pick me up right? You really helped me back there.." You giggle at yourself, trying to get up you froze. You can't. Your hand was tied with something, getting it closer to see that it was a tie "Eh...What...."

"Why did you go along with his invitation?" He asked slowly crawling towards you "Oh he just wanted to consult." "About what?"

"Err, somehow he has someone he likes and was asking on what to do..." You paused for a minute"Hey get this off!" He slammed one of his hand at the beside of your head "What if...! That person he likes is actually you. What are you going to do then?!" You was stunned, not knowing what to reply

"Ryusei-kun..."

"You are really ignorant about other's feelings. Not even suspecting anything. Why do you think I'm devoting myself to you?" You tries your best wiggling free from his grasp that is now on both of your hands "Hey...!" "I got my hands full preparing that lunch for you. I even took care of you when you were sick....that guy, you couldn't even turn down his obvious invitation to the point getting drunk?!"

He was basically screaming at this point "Think about my feeling at least!" You were starting to get scared, praying to break off but it's futile

He suddenly stopped leaning his head over you neck and breathed a heavy sighed "Do you have any idea how happy I was when you moved here? And now I thought we were gonna get separated. Even so, why won't you just quietly tie yourself down with me?! Don't leave me alone..." He was getting devastated, hot tears pouring from his cheeks to your neck down to your collarbone "Ryusei-"

"I like you..."

"Ah...Ahaa..." You started to laugh at him, he flinched not expecting you would reacted like this "What are you laughing at?" "So that was this all about? Why didn't you say so?" He grit his teeth biting on his lip "You-"

I...also like you.." Leaning closer, you felt the heat on your cheeks went to his and closes the gap sharing a slow but quick kiss to wrap the moment "As if I would ever leave! I can't never go anywhere without you! Y'know?!" He grinned getting back to his usual playful and smug smile self

Untying the tie, you rapidly wrapped your arms around his neck and gave him a passionate kiss on the lip "I love you Ryu~"

'Ah my heart!~'

₊‧   ˖ ࣪  ་ 🪐 ໒꒱

"One way or another, I hope them pest stay away from my cute Y/n!~" He was hugging you so tight you could barely breathe "You...! Did you do this everyday with that kind of wish?!" He ignored the statement like it's going from his left ear and vanished to his right ear and instead sniffling on your scent "Ahh what a nice smell~" Blushing at the comment, you pushed his head away giving his side temple a nice and short peck before leaving "I'm gonna be late!"

[separatist-apologist]

Oh I see! Wow okay so like did you or others don't feel bad about being kicked out and like having to leave your parents when at some point after parents are too old to not be able to take care of themselves then who takes care of them? I am sorry if I am being intrusive or weird but I am just curious as I said. I would love to know how this works since my mom was complaining about me and my sibling the other day saying Americans have one thing really cool they just kick their children out so no more dealing with kids after 18 and children sucking parents' blood and other shit. Anyway, if you're comfortable please tell us more 🙃

It's okay! I was upset when I was kicked out because I had to go and live with a friend and her parents and that made me sad. But I think very broadly speaking, the expectation is most kids move out when they graduate high school and either move into dorms for college or they get a job and live on their own/with roommates. I don't know anyone who feels sadness about it? It's a cultural expectation, so like, there is excitement around being independent and having your own space. And of course not all parents enforce this expectation and there are people who live at home longer- but I do think the older you get in your 20s and still living with your parents, it comes with a stigma of like, being lazy or a failure, if that makes sense?

American's also don't care for the elderly the way they do in other cultures. We have assisted living facilities you pay to care for your aging parents, or nurses that can go in and assist with day to day living if your parents can mostly live on their own. My grandparents still live on their own, and the only one who didn't was my grandfather who went to an assisted facility when he had alzhiemers and needed more specialized care.

I think its a trade off? If you can't live with your parents once you become a legal adult (or they expect you to pay rent to live there), then they shouldn't expect you to care for them when they age? It'll vary person to person of course, but I don't think I'd let my mom move in with me

[amarantine-amirite]

Impostor Syndrome

The following is an interview that came from the last issue of Divergent magazine before the failure of MyntBank.

It's a well-known fact that autistic people struggle with job interviews. During interviews, an autistic person must mimic a neurotypical person all the time. Hiring managers watch for signs of dishonesty, which sometimes look like symptoms of autism.

Many argue that job interviews inherently select against autistic people in favor of neurotypicals. Some people go as far as to say that any autistic person that gets a job after completing a successful job interview was almost always hired by accident. Those who disagree with this theory argue you don't need to mimic a neurotypical that much when you already have the job. You just need to mimic part of the time. If you do a good enough job, you don't have to mimic a neurotypical at all. Coworkers will put up with your weird behavior just because you're good at your job.

Today, we're talking to Judith (not her real name), a 24 year old college graduate on the spectrum who had accidentally been hired by MyntBank on two separate occasions.

Divergent: Can you describe the interview process for MyntBank?

Judith: I got my job at MyntBank through a new grad rotation program. Two minutes before the scheduled interview time, the person who contacted me with the interview information told me her colleague will do it instead of her, but he is up to speed. Right out of the gate, he says that we have to do it one way due to an unstable internet connection. He talked nonstop for precisely one hour.

He referenced news stories that people wouldn't talk about after a few weeks that were at least 3 months old. He targeted his speech not to me, but to a large audience. I asked if it was a recording and then I signed off.

I must've done something right because I got the rotation job. They didn't even ask for my transcript.

Divergent: What was the internship like?

Judith: My rotation began with Business Intelligence for Equity Research, next I worked in ML Engineering for Business Banking, and finally, Data and Analytics for Derivatives. I learned something very important: capital markets executives view ML engineers as smart, data scientists as lazy, and business intelligence as complainers.

Now, you would think that capital markets executives have respect for data scientists because we're the ones uncovering fancy new ways for the Bank to make money. Well, you would also be wrong. They don't really understand us. We exist outside the hierarchy of analyst, associate, and managing director, but at the same time are paid at the same echelon as the people high on the food chain.

Data science is not a job that has a lot of fires. If anything, you start the fires that the ML engineers and risk managers have to put out. Everybody thinks that scientists do nothing because they don't have to hustle.

The C-Suite people brag about working 60, 70, or even 80 hours a week. They think that those who aren't working 75 hour weeks are lazy. They are diametrically opposed to working smarter instead of harder. Good luck getting them to understand that the mandate for a data scientist is to follow the evidence where it leads and think about stuff. The work of a data scientist suffers if they have to hustle.

Divergent: How did you go from your internship to a full time position with Mynt?

Judith: During my data analytics rotation, I got a term project requiring me to look for signals representing unusual market behavior. The Bank prohibited anybody from using pip install on their machines because a disgruntled employee in the back office used pip install to load libraries that they use to build a virus that crippled the KYC system. Getting rid of pip install meant that nobody could use Python for their work anymore. Given that Python is the coding lingua franca of the finance world, this decision would spell disaster for the organization.

Because the Bank got rid of pip install, I had to write my own imbalance sampling algorithm to finish the work on my project. I implemented it in such a way that it had a linear run time. I deployed the imbalance sampling algorithm for the first time right before a long weekend. It took 72 hours to train the model I was working on, which meant my computer was running all weekend. Upper management interpreted that as me burning the midnight oil over a holiday weekend.

I got invited to a lunch interview with the head of the data analytics department. They considered me for a role with the signal integration working group. Lunch included some salad and mashed potatoes with peas mixed in, supposedly to "test the emotional maturity of candidates." Even though I got very upset about the peas touching the potatoes, I still got a full time job with that group.

Divergent: Was it easier to manage your autism during your internship or during the full-time job?

Judith: A month into my new job, they came up with a new rule requiring masks on zoom calls. The rationale they gave us was that employees feel there is less discrimination between nice looking versus bad looking people. Wearing a mask puts video call participants all on the same level.

There's a problem with that. Masking on zoom calls robs employees ability to read lips. I have a disability that impairs my ability to process spoken language. We don't have captions on our zoom calls because captioning introduces its own privacy concerns as the video conferencing system we used at the time records dialogue to generate the captions.

I am far from the only person who has this issue. That working group had seven people, three of them are deaf, and the other four (myself included, by the way) had neurological disabilities where they need to see the mouth for communication.

I keep the "I'm having dental work done" in my pocket for skipping meetings . It's perfect. Nobody questions it and everybody can relate to it. I used that excuse for the first time, but I didn't get the reaction I expected. "Stop eating so much crap".

I couldn't understand what anyone was wearing because everyone was masked and there were no subtitles, so I accidentally agreed to this signal processing project where I had to decompose time series of alternative indicators for a given market (in this case, the derivatives market) into constituent signals, overlay the results against that of a synthetic best or worst case scenario, and develop a modeling strategy to predict whether the current picture would evolve into a good or bad scenario.

It was interesting, but it raised a lot of questions that require a lot of labor to get the data to answer them and you don't always know whether or not you've gone down a rabbit hole. Usually, you can surmise when you're going to go down a rabbit hole before it actually happens, but you can't do that here because you don't know what you don't know. It was also a really sensitive project. If you end up down a rabbit hole and out of sight of the main idea, it has the potential to be catastrophic.

Divergent: How do they find out they hired you by mistake not once, but twice?

Judith: I had to present my results on a surprise call. I couldn't for the life of me explain my analysis methods to the banking regulator. If you struggle to explain your analysis method to the regulator, you're cooked. Their first inclination is to look for signs of dishonesty.

Regulators don't like modeling strategies that involve lots of steps. They don't like stuff that's poorly explained. They really hated my explanation of my modeling strategy because it sounded suspiciously like market manipulation.

The bank got fined $14 billion that they had to pay by close of business the following day. They didn't pay up. It takes their billing department in Cameroon 18 months to pay for stuff and that includes fines.

After they finally got that fine paid, they decided that the whole debacle was my fault. They called me into this meeting with a bunch of executives. They had the CEO at one under the table and me at the other, and all of them glared at me. It was pretty horrifying.

They said they tried to fire me but it didn't go through. The head of human resources looked into it a little bit further and it turned out that I have been hired by accident for both the internship and the full-time role. the head of the internship program spoke up and said I accepted the offer of employment before the computer glitch that sent out the letter was rectified. The head of the data analytics department admitted to hiring me because, as he put it, "I could only remember her name because she caught food in her boobs."

Divergent: Have you been able to find a job since then?

Judith: Not really, no. I've been working with an employment counselor, applying to whatever jobs I can find, and I'm struggling to get a callback. I don't know if it's because the people at Mynt have blackballed me or if the market dried up. I hope I get something soon.

[theorist-influencer-untitled]

6.22.23 Thursday

6:54 am

I have windblow trap...I have pelvic pain... That is the disadvantage if Uncle DD will start to live here and become a father figure of Aunt Karen's son....They can't give me a rightful assistance, angels... I still need a MRI but they don't take me seriously... Plus my coffee and my toiletries...

Why am I like this? Coz I sense something that they are part of people who also part of whatever bathroom group... ( people who are controlling my life for 16 years ? ).

I need a job and money angels...I have "deep smile lines" in a lil while will be 42... They just aged me for nothing.... I really feel fat and ugly and I wanna perfect my nose for my self-esteem... But I badly need a job...

Plus, I don't know...My timeline...Am I on my menopausal? I don't know....

7:23 am

I feel panicky that I need to have money....I need to do still, my massage therapy on Elsie ( that is alternative but in a way effective ). They can't give me fundings...

They are removing my original entity of how I was raised up here, my vanity... I had have manual and modern ways, angels such as these... But I need to progress...

That is a roller massage to shake your flesh underneath, to prevent cellulite...

For your face to remove fats on the sides and I hope it can lighten the "deep smile lines" but I know we need modern.

This is for my hands and fingers but I seldom do it lately coz I'm so tired here of some family errands coz I can't get a job... I have a very low self-esteem...

8:09 am

Uncle Jun is preparing going to Georgia'Z the gremlin'Z gang...He is done doing his shower, now in the kitchen preparing his things...

The Flashback:

What can I say about aunt Karen?

The first time I met her here was 10 years ago... I don't know, she and Uncle DD were on their motorcycle and the beginning of me had a comic strip on my head about them... Everything changed here in this house...

I was just quiet for a couple of years since that I had accidentally sold the car that I requested from my adoptive mother (Aunt Teresa ) but I had no guilty emotion coz I used it in a good way ( meaning I was mature and responsible ). Remember angels? I used my requested car it was just 2nd hand coz I also need to work that time and it was supposed to be me? Taking my master... But I saw "The Royals" on TV the beginning of me, being active on virtual world.

In short I used my 2nd hand requested car to bring and fetch my Nana in the church and for my personal use... But the paper was still on the name of Uncle DD coz I was lazy to go in Manila to claim it...

Let's go back to Aunt Karen. So, this coming next year it will be our 11th year that we knew each other. Aunt Karen was so thin but fit, she is fit and healthy compared to these days she became fat and wasted.

Aunt Karen as I knew her, according to them she is a policewoman (of course a college graduate ) and undercover on some of her cases like she did a lot of her cosplay or costume wearing, something like that... She also used to work on some royal blood somewhere in arab world... And I think she can still do an in and out flying, if she needs to go there... Of course if you are a police, you need to have links...

From decade ago, the time that I went back here from my biological father's house coz I need to cool down after I accidentally sold the car that I requested from my adoptive mother (Aunt Teresa ). Those were the days that I met her ( this Aunt Karen ).

So, there were days that Aunt Karen and Uncle DD treated us a dine-out on an expensive restaurant ( things that I enjoy being with them,in a way before ) such as Korean that Aunt Karen can spent around 5k to 7k pesoses on one eating session coz the meal were so special and yummy and it was once in awhile... The good thing we had our complete basics toiletries such as shampoo and conditioner ,bar soap,lotions laundry powder and laundry bar, alcohol and some lotions plus box of biscuits, lots of tissues, we had few coffee and milk and big quaker oats. Still basics but important to have on the weekly expenses.

But there was this one time that Aunt Karen visited us here and I was in my room on the 2nd floor, the bottom floor is RV's room ( my brother next to me)... There is something in my room snd RV's room that I lately realized but this will be the topic after lunch.

There was this one funny moment here with aunt Karen, she visited us here and they usually helped us to clean before coz I didn't know any house chores or house task until I took up the caregiving course on the latter part...

Ohkay, one time aunt Karen went to the living room and Uncle DD usually checked everything here and did some cleaning... Me? From the past years, I slept in my old room...I just went down to check my Nana and the ac is here in the living room ( but during my teenage years I had personal ac in my room coz I was the princess-like here ).

Lately and for 16 years and after the Karaoke Bar Business Club of my adoptive parent's were closed ( we cut our ac's, I lost my ac in my room, my nana lost her ac in the room, my adoptive parent's lost their ac in their room the only ac left and maintain and hoping until today but we can't maintain to open is our ac in our living room ).

RV didn't have AC coz he used to collect his NBA Cards and it was really his expenses weekly for buying 10 NBA card weekly, hello! Plus,the reason was he is a man and will go beyond his expenses monthly... His NBA card is 500 pesos per card! Hellowie! Did other people get that?

Will have some break here and I need to collect my memory on one time funny thing about aunt Karen...

11:03 am

My God! It is super hot angels... You need to shower if you can't open your ac or don't move at all and possible for a heat stroke... I'm giving ice to our dogs and put efan on John...It is super hot and it is already June that supposed to be the start of rainy season here in Philippinea Wild Monkeya'z with a mixed of good and bad gremlin'Z.

You can feel the wetness of your entire body... I'm sweating out, it is super hot...

11:48 noon

She is with Uncle DD... The waiter boy will be the next Tito Hideaki??? Huh??? Wrong ranking here...

Then, Uncle DD will react will threat me here that I'm a baggage...

12:04 noon

It is all about Uncle DD nowadays... All of us will die sooner or later... But hoping God will extend my life and I still wanna have a journey,my own story...

New casting here the main son is Uncle DD or main child? The main bonjing of the family?

12:58 noon

Accident happens when you are not relax in the kitchen... I need lots of gloves...

This family issue gives an anxiety to me... Plus, this super hot weather...

1:16 pm

I hate the thought of Uncle DD will live there and they just planned to make me their assistant..

It is better if tita Jasmine will stay there...

1:35 pm

Done eating pata with the gang here... Repeat recipe!

Uncle Jun ate his lunch commenting that my pata is hard to bite... Huh! I said huh! What??? As you can see the meat is falling from its bones. Huh?

Finally, this is for dinner... I'm kinda late coz it is super hot!

3:16 pm

I'm trying to find the movie title about a husband 1 envious of husband 2 , I forgot the title.. It is about a family that is envious of an another family and the husband made a way to be friends with the other husband of other family. And it ends up that a guy who made a way to be the friends of the other family, hostage them at the end...

Is Uncle DD planned this kind of conspiracy?

Hostage means-- person held by one party in a conflict as a pledge pending the fulfillment of an agreement.

 ---- person taken by force to secure the taker's demands.

---- one that is involuntarily controlled by an outside influence. ( mirriam-webster dictionary ).

5:21 pm

Uncle Jun is here already...

I still have windblow trap... I feel bitter... I hate some church of christ and wanna switch religion and be active again in the church...In a way I miss attending service... But I'm thinking of money and job coz I feel out of place and I wanna perfect my nose to get back my x-factor... ( my least priority the main is to remove my deep smile lines ).

Whew! I feel bitter coz I wanna gain new friends and I wanna get a colored alien bf who is sensitive and religious in a way...

5:54 pm

My God he got a good face, so sad he killed himself for the blackmail...

It is like someone is looking at the "peephole"... When you had have sex nobody has the right to judge you or tell you that your position is wrong coz it is inside the room... The sinner is the one who looked at the "peephole"...

Nobody can blackmail anyone if you have the right maturity... I pity the blackmailer...

To be continued...

[bubbabooo]

ao3 recs

I’ll be giving brief summary’s because i’m too lazy and have tennis in a hour and because the stories obvi have a description

support all of the authors <3

Habits of my Heart

-Ushijima x reader, acquaintances to friends to lovers, my favorite fanfic of all time (that sounds corny but idc), i cannot stress enough how good of a fanfic this was, it captures ushijimas character so well, i think this is how he would genuinely be like if he was falling in love. ongoing

Golden Girl

-Ushijima x manager reader, strangers (only for a brief moment) to friends to lovers, another rlly rlly good one, ongoing

You’re not the one

Atsumu x reader/Suna x reader, fake dating trope, by the same author as habits of my heart (that’s how you know it’s good) tbh i think the fake dating trope is rlly overused but that all changed after i read this, this story was so good and well written def recommend, completed

White Noise

Atsumu x reader, best friends to lovers, i love this fic a lot, it made me so frustrated reading because i just wanted them to just shut up and kiss, the ending was so perfect i loved it. also i loved when i would comment and the author would respond to me :))) completed

The Premonition Of Love

Ushijima x reader, friends to lovers, i haven’t read this one in a while since it hasn’t updated since july, but it was so good. it was one of my first fics that i read on ao3 and i need to reread it, i still have screenshots i look back on from when i first read it :) ongoing

The other side of the court

Tsukishima x reader/ Ushijima x reader, this was such an interesting love triangle, don’t get your hopes up it hasn’t been updated since october 2020 but it was so good that i had to share it (you can all suffer with me), its so interesting seeing tsukishima get jealous and see ushijimas feelings develop pls read ongoing

Breath

Oikawa x reader, enemies to lovers, now this ones interesting, it’s a witch au but not hogwarts (which i feel like i never see), and oikawa and reader hated each other all through school until one day (years after they graduate and haven’t seen each other in a while) reader moves into a new house in a forest to reconnect with magic and guess who her only neighbor is ;)) ongoing

Shiritorizawa Antics

Shiritorizawa x manager reader (platonic), such a cute fic, even though it’s platonic i rlly enjoyed this it was so funny, ongoing

Change Of Heart

Sakusa x reader, strangers to lovers, college au, this has only 5 chapters as of oct 1st, but it’s already rlly rlly good, it’s by heartcondemned (who wrote habits of my heart and you’re not the one) so obviously i trust this author sm, pls read it it, ongoing

Managing the Cats den

Kuroo x reader, nekoma x reader (platonic), this fic was actually inspired by shiritorizawa antics so if you read that one you’ll like this one, it’s very similar to it but it’s unique too, i really enjoyed this one, completed

Ghosts We See

Multiple Characters x reader, fantasy/normal au, this one is so interesting omg, SLOWBURN, when i say slowburn i mean it, looooong chapters too, the author also has a tumblr where they post oneshots from the story, i think it’s the same user as their ao3, def check out, ongoing

(un)loving miya atsumu

Atsumu x reader, lowkey made me angry reading this but that’s a good thing, i really did like it just not the ending (it frustrated me) 🙃 completed

Twenty Days

Tendou x reader, i feel like i never see any long tendou x reader fics and this was such a good one, i really enjoyed this one, it was so cute and sweet, completed

Stained

Kageyama x reader/ Tsukshima x reader, mafia au, now this one was a ride, it was sosososos good, i remember back in april when i read it and i was in such shock because of how good it was, you will feel very bad for kageyama in this, completed

[ryozakidesu]

the side character - l.mk

you see, people come and go all the time, but the way they leave always stays.

summary: jack and rose. bella and edward. romeo and juliet. it was a common knowledge that everyone's have their own partner in their life story. but here you are. the side character in mark's tragic lovestory. just another girl he had to go through. you hated to admit it but you're probably just a chapter in his book. after all, who cared for lavender brown when ron weasley was written for hermione granger?

genre: angst, lil fluff, full length fic, mark x reader

warnings: curse words, a long one, lots of timeskips

wc: 10.5k

an: this fic is originally for haechan but i figured that the character fits mark more so i had to make some changes!! also this one's a ride-- and it's a new story !! hope u guys enjoy it <3

•••••

you met him back in june. and the way you met for the first time wasn't your favourite. its safe to say that you two didn't get off the right foot.

you remember it like it was the back of your hands, how you met mark lee. it was a regular tuesday, it was rather cloudy. no signs of rain tho, and as the news said, pack your umbrella because weather can be a bitch sometimes.

you parked your lexus that your mom had gifted you when you turned 20 at the same spot you did for the past two years you've been driving it to school.

university was okay, you're in your last year so that's a plus, but what made your college life great was your friends.

"y/n!" you turn your back too see your friend, jake running towards you as you locked your car.

"here's your coffee, you lazy dog." you gave him the iced americano that he texted you to get him. it was a routine to you, you get up earlier and get ready, sparing time to get coffee at the local coffee shop. so it was fine for him to ask to get him one too. at first. it had been a routine for him also to ask you every single day.

"ey, you keep saying that but you keep buying me still." he said as he sipped his drink, earning a slight elbow in this side from you.

"so. apparently, there's a new kid." jake said as he walked with you through the hallways.

new kid? it's the last year of college, who's in their right mind to move to a different univeristy on the last year?

"that's dumb. we're literally graduating and they still moved schools? what a waste of--"

"oh, sorry!" your coffee almost spilled if you didn't move it up 0.5 earlier before you bumped into someone.

"holy fuck!" the boy almost jumped, avoiding the drink.

"watch it." jake's voice switched, now very stern as he looked at the guy. he put his hands between you and the person in front of you, to avoid any more unwanted contact.

the guy is very unfamiliar, you've not seen him here before. making you think that he might be the new kid.

what struck first to you is his eyes. he looked so good, he looked like.. someone who's really comfortable to be with.

"dude, she bumped me. you two were talking in a busy hallway, and you expect everyone to get out of your way?" one more thing to add, he's mouthy.

"you're being rude, you know." you muttered as you get your posture back.

"i'm not. i'm just saying that your friend here doesn't need to come at my face when you two were wrong." now, his eyes are on you and you watched as his gaze turned almost soft.

"i'm just protecting her-- dude you don't have to be an ass." jake, now standing in between you.

"look--" you pushed jake to the side, "i'm sorry. i'm sorry i bumped into you. now, can we go?" you asked.

he looked at you for what you felt like was a hot minute, before rolling his eyes and walking pass you two.

"what a fucking prick." jake continued to stare at the guy as you two continued to walk, turning his head as the guy disappeared.

"hey, he's right. we bumped into him."

"are you defending him?" jake now looking at you with exaggerated disbelief in his face.

"stop, you know we were wrong." you lightly slapped his arms.

"he doesn't have to be an ass about it." jake then took another sip as you two turned into the corner.

"plus i feel like he's just having a bad day-- its hard being a new student." you felt like you're justifying the guy's rude actions but you couldn't help it. you can't find a reason why, aswell. just-- he's just right.

"i know what this is." jake stopped walking, making you halt aswell. jake then. turned to you, and of course, in reflex you turned your body towards him.

"what?"

"you find him cute, right?" jake accusing you, making you furrow your brows and laugh. you shook your head as you walked.

"i guess he was fine."

*

the second time you met mark lee, its was a rather better interaction. you had stayed behind for one of your classes because your professor had a problem with your paper.

"it's really amazing, the way your mind works, y/n. don't get me wrong, you had the correct answer." your professor, flipping the pages of your paper.

"then what's the problem, mr. tan?" you're confused, as you sat in the first row seat in front of his desk.

"the way you solved it." he looked up at you and showed you the paper which had your written formula and solution.

you're a very impatient person, which why you would always find a faster way to do stuff. specially in academics, if you're really having a hard time with the formula that was given, you'll find another that also works, but faster.

"look, mr. tan. the important thing is i got it right, i just found the given formula---"

"mr. tan! oh, thank god you're still here." large footsteps filled the classroom, as a familiar voice entered.

and as you expected, the guy who bumped into you the other day walked inside. his strides were large, and his movements were panicky. i guess he really wanted to meet mr. tan.

"lee mark, be glad y/n held me up." your professor then shuffled in his desk, leaving you and mark, you think his name is, to notice each other's presence.

"hey." you initiated, which mark just nods without looking.

it rubbed you the wrong way, how he refused to even say 'hey' to you. was that incident the other day such a big deal? or is he just this distant with people he's not close with?

honestly, it shouldn't even matter. he's just a random guy. it shouldn't bother you the way it's bothering you right now.

you took a deep breath, "mr. tan, i think i should go. if you have a problem with my paper then it's fine." you gathered all your things and stood up.

you were about to step outside the room when suddenly your name was called.

"y/n, wait up." mark finished his talk with mr. tan when he suddenly called your name.

you stopped in your tracks, as you about to turn around he's already in front of you.

"uh-- i," he looked down swiftly, gathering his thoughts and looked up at you again.

"what?" you asked.

"i was thinking we should leave together." he blurted out rather quickly, before turning around quickly and started walking.

this confused you, so you took quick steps to follow him. "hey-- hey! can you walk slower?"

"oh, shoot, sorry." he stopped, waiting for you to take a few strides until you catch up.

"let's go-- but please step a little smaller, i've got short legs." you joked, hoping to lift the mood.

you can see him smiling but quickly hiding it, as he walked slower this time to match yours.

"so.. uh what's up?" you can't tell if you're just socially awkward, or its because he intimidated you. you're close to admitting that you're both.

"nothing.. honestly-- i just wanted to say sorry for the last time. i was a dick to you and your friend" he scratched the back of his neck as you two walked.

"it's okay. i mean, it is our fault so.." you shrugged your shoulders,

"still, i shouldn't have been such an ass."

"yeah.. wait why are you in such a bad mood tho?" you asked. honestly that was the thing that confuses you, is how he's so upset about the other day and then did a full 180 today being all apolegetic and stuff.

"for starters, i'm a new student here so it's.. kind of hard, you know, settling in a whole new different environment when you're used to your old life." suddenly he turned serious, as if he's thinking about something.

"i know. that's also what i thought. glad you cleared it up tho, at least i could cross out the asshole in front of your name." you smirked at him which he just chuckled in response.

"so, uh i'll go ahead. see you around, y/n."

"see you."

--

after that, your meetings with mark lee become frequent, as he asked you things about the university. you two would spend lunch, together with jake. jake hesitated at first, still holding grudges on the time he and mark had a little misunderstanding. but all ends well after three days of having mark around.

"dude-- so you're like very popular back in your school?" jake asked mark, before shoving his burger into his mouth.

"eat slowly, stupid." you noticed there's crumbs of the burger bread on jake's chin. you grabbed a tissue and wiped it off.

mark saw that, his eyes followed your hands when wiping jake's mouth. he doesn't know why but he found your gesture so admirable. how you take care of other people seems so sweet to him.

"if i wasn't on the volleyball team i wouldn't be." mark answered after looking away.

"that's why you were talking to mr. tan? you're signing up for try outs?" you looked at him after folding the used tissue and tossing it to the near trash bin.

"yeah, but because of my records at my previous school-- i didn't have to go through tryouts." he said, a hint of arrogance in his voice.

"so you're that good, huh?" you teased, raising a brow at him.

"i mean, if you put it that way..." he tilts his head, smirking at you which you just responded with shaking your head.

the little conversation you shared cut off early, when you heard jake coughing.

"you little shit, i said eat slowly!" you panicked, grabbing the water bottle that was on the table and quickly gave it to jake. you caressed his back as he was drinking, concern filled your eyes as you watched your friend recover.

this sight had mark in awe. the way you quickly reacted to jake almost-- well, i guess-- dying, the panic in your eyes as you struggled to open the water bottle, and the pure care as you watched jake drink. his mind filled with you-- the way you are.

and then it turned into worry, when he thought that there might be something with you and jake. is that why you're so thoughtful about him? why you two are always together?

he's nervous to admit, but he did feel uneasy.

no, mark, stop it. he told himself. he should not be thinking like this. maybe he just missed having someone to take care of him. that must be it. that should be it.

-

days turned to weeks, and before you know it its been a whole month since mark started hanging out with you guys. and you can tell, he's getting more comfortable.

"this fucking vending machine sucks." mark, pissed at the school's vending machine. he stepped backwards and from his posture, you knew what he was about to do.

"do not!" you quickly grabbed his arm and pull him, "do not kick the vending machine, mark. maybe that's why it keeps eating your money, dumbass." you said and pushed him slightly to the side.

"yeah- try it, y/n. waste your money on that god damn vending machine." he dared, crossing his arms.

and as he expected. the vending machine did not give you anything but it took your money.

"what the fuck?! this shit is rigged." you tapped the sides of the machine, before trying to shake it.

"are you trying to shake a machine thats three times bigger than you? and here i thought you were smart."

"--but i want that kitkat." you whispered, almost pouting, mouth watering at the sught of the candy bar displayed.

"not gonna happen." mark then pulled you and started walking. he grabbed your tote bag full of books you had borrowed from the library. it was a normal thing for him to do, carry your things. he said something about 'your spaghetti arms can't carry weight bigger than an aquaflask.' which of course, is a flat out lie because you've been borrowing the same amount of books for years and jake didn't budge and offer to carry it so you had to carry it yourself. but mark being mark, he had every excuse just to do what he wants.

maybe it was his chivalry, or maybe just the way he talked. everything about him seemed so.. comfortable. he's someone you feel like you can trust-- and that's a big deal for you, because you had trust issues and you just met the guy for a month and you feel like you can tell him your deepest secret.

as you opened your car, you turned around to face mark and asked for your things. which of course, he didn't give it, instead he walked pass you and put the books inside your car himself.

"text me when you get home." he then stooped down to your level and slowly, his hands slowly touched something under your eyes.

his eyes are fixtated on whatever he's doing. while yours are looking at him. his dark brown eyes, down to his nose, and then his lips. the distance between your faces were too close. you can feel his breath fanning over your chin. this is really-- ah, shit.

"eyelash." he leaned back, showing you his finger which in fact, had a strand of your eyelash. that's when you were reminded to breathe.

"yeah-- sure, whatever." you quickly jumped inside your car and closed the door, allowing your self to calm down. you looked at your left, and there you can see a confused mark staring from your car window.

you just waved you hand goodbye at him, before starting the engine. you looked at the rear mirror to see mark's figure slowly disappear when you drove.

okay, y/n, what was that? you asked yourself. are you flustered? you looked at yourself in the rear mirror, and hell, you were redder than the devil himself. this is not good.

as you hit the breaks, some of your books in the passenger seat fell out of the tote bag. you looked at it and there's something you noticed.

a kitkat bar, with a note -- 'drive safe, -m'

your lips parted. you stared at it for what feels like forever and that's when you realized, you're fucked.

-

"jake i think i'm gonna stay at the library." you nudged at jake as you two got up from your desk.

jake looked at you, "you're not gonna have lunch?"

"i came packed," you tap on your bag, pertaining that you had a pack of lunch ready and you're just gonna eat in the library.

"oh-- that's new. okay, i'll tell mark." jake seemed to be convinced, as he nods and smiled. you take that as your cue to leave.

the truth is you don't have a packed lunch-- and you don't need to go to the library. you just need to spend a little less time from mark until this silly little crush goes away. that's what you've decided when you had come to terms that you do have developing feelings for mark and what better way to destroy the tree is to cut it before it even starts to grow.

and that's how you spent almost the whole week. avoiding talking to mark at all costs, making excuses for jake to hangout with mark without you, which you're glad jake doesn't ask questions-- well at least, you thought.

"are you avoiding me, or mark?" jake said when he found you at the school fountain, eating a sandwich alone.

you rolled your eyes, "now, why would i avoid you?"

and it's too late to realize that you said the wrong thing because,

"so you're avoiding mark?" jake now sitting beside you.

you stared at him, contemplating to tell everything because again, he is your best friend. if the situation is different and you two hadn't gotten close with mark, you'd spill everything the day you knew. but jake and mark had grown close, so its a bit complicated.

"no, why would i?" you looked ahead, avoiding his judgemental stares as jake examined your face.

"you suck at lying, y/n."

you closed your eyes, you took a deep breath. of course he'll know when you're lying.

"fine. i am avoiding mark." you gave up, looking at jake with the eyes filled with worry as you confess.

"why? i mean, yeah he's kinda mouthy but he's fun to hangout around. plus he's good at grilling meat so food's not it, maybe because--"

"that's not it, jake. its the opposite."

"what opposite? i don't get-- oh." jake's face turned from confused to suddenly amused, as he smirked at you.

"yeah," the only thing you said when you wait for jake to tease you-- or at least scold you.

instead, he sighed heavily and smiles, "i knew this would happen."

you looked at him, "no, you don't."

"shut up," jake shushed you with his finger made your mouth shut, literally. you slapped it away, of course.

"so how long has it been?"

"have no idea. but i realized it about a week ago." there's no point in lying now, jake knows you from the inside out.

"so what, you'll avoid him until everything goes away?"

"that's the plan."

"well that's a shitty plan." jake chuckled, making you turn to him and hit him.

"what, why?!"

"cuz if its a great plan then why is mark walking towards us now?"

thats when you looked to the left, and as jake said, mark is walking towrds you both but his eyes are fixated on you. you quickly looked away and attempted to stand up.

"and here i am, thinking i'm wrong and you're not avoiding me-- yet you're getting ready to run with the first sight of me." mark's voice was different from usual, this time more serious.

"look, no one's avoiding anyone." you told him, holding onto jake's arm like your life depends on it.

"i think i left something--" jake stood up, but you quickly pull him back down. you can't be left here with mark, for fucks sake you're bad at confrontations!

"sit back down." you sternly said to jake.

"what's happening? did i do something?" mark's voice turned soft, as he stooped down on you since you were sitting and he's tired of looking down.

"nothing, mark. i'm just busy." you almost face palmed yourself with your answer. really, y/n? busy?

"do you really think i'd fall for that?"

"i really think i should go--" jake attempted to walk away but you just held his wrist.

"yeah we should really go. i forgot to get this book from the library." you stood up beside jake.

mark stands up aswell. "did i do something wrong?"

"nothing! nada-- opseo. you're fine, mark-- i just.. we should go." thats when you pulled jake with you and started to walk swiftly.

"you're being unfair, you know?" jake spoke, as he pulled his wrist from you.

"i know-- i just don't know how to manouver around him. you think i enjoy doing this?"

"you're making him believe that he did something horrible to you. that's gonna fuck with his head for sure."

"i know, i'll fix this, don't worry."

--

[13:31pm] you: can we talk?

after almost half an hour deciding on how you should approach mark, you decided to just get straight to the point. you know this is the right thing to do. to explain to him why you're acting so weird around him lately.

jake had said something around, 'its better to get rejected when your feelings are still shallow' and there's not much things you agree on when it comes to jake, but this one seems about right.

sure, maybe you and mark's friendship could be destroyed in the process and it would hurt like a motherfucker, but at least... shit there's no actual upside from this.

before regret even comes around your mind, your phone vibrated.

[13:34pm] mark: that's all i'm asking for. send me ur loc i'll come find you.

here goes nothing.

in the end, you two decided to just meet at the local coffee shop near the university where you get your morning coffees. you arrived early so you just went and find a table for two.

knees shaking, you kept on eyeing the entrance just to see if mark is already here.

you sipped on your iced vanilla latte-- before glancing at the door again and there you see mark, standing tall among others-- looking around. not long after he saw you and his face lits up before actually walking.

"aw, man you already ordered? i said it was my treat toda--"

"i like you. like, a lot."

he froze, his eyes widen and jaw slightly parting, and then his brows furrowed. you're examining every reaction that he made. after what feels like a whole five minutes, he slowly sat down in front of you.

"did i hear you right? you-- you what?" his face screamed confusion, as he's refusing to believe what he just had heard.

"i don't know, okay?! believe me, i'm not the type to develop feelings for someone i met a month ago. even this is weird for me. so just get this over with and say that you don't like me like that." words came out of you naturally without even thinking. you cannot even look at him in the eye. this might be one of the most nerve wracking moments this year for you.

what even surprised you is what he said after that.

"who said i don't like you too?"

--

and here you are, sitting in mark's passenger side waiting for him to get out of the 7/11. he was craving ice cream and you know him, he gets what he wants.

"uh! babe, they're so good, you'll gonna regret not wanting to buy one." he grunts as he entered the car. you rolled your eyes,

"i could always steal that from you." you joked, removing some of his bangs thats almost touching the ice cream that he shoved in his mouth.

"not this one-- it's too good." he moaned, making you chuckle as you pull out your phone to take a picture of him going crazy over some ice cream.

"wish you ate pussy like that." you joked as you typed in your screen. you laughed as you heard mark choking over his ice cream, completely shocked by your bluntness.

"y/n, jesus let me eat my ice cream in peace!"

well, it is safe to say that everything went well after your confession. mark liked you back, and everything goes smoothly after that. you can feel how he changed around you, treating you more like a partner more than a friend.

and that goes on for almost 5 months now. yeah, a lot of time had passed.

are you two officially together? no.

is he your boyfriend? you'd like him to be, but no.

are you exclusive to each other? yes. you never even had a thought about entertaining someone else. mark had proven it aswell, not showing any interest to the many girls that flocks around him.

"i need to leave-- babe. jake just texted me that he's already at the bazaar." you told mark, as you showed your phonescreen to him to show jake's texts.

"tell him to eat shit because i want to be with you more." mark had finished his icecream, now holding your hands while the other steers the wheel.

"baby." you tried to add more authority to your voice but it didn't budge mark at all, instead he just smirked and looked at you.

"you know i get turned on when you use your angry voice, babe." he licked his lip, smirking at you and then looking back at the road.

you hit him lightly, "come on, babe, i'll see you later at jiyeon's, okay?"

"fine. text him and say we'll be there by five."

you looked at mark in the driver seat, holding the steering wheel with his left hand and the other on your thigh.

you wondered, how could you love someone this quickly? yeah, you've had people come and go in your life, but never like this. it's like, you never wanna let go of mark, even tho you don't have anything to hold onto. you just wanna stay with him.

his shirt was oversized as usual, so the fabric showed a little more skin on his collarbone. you saw a glimpse of his tattoo. it's a rose, he said he had it back in highschool when he was dumb and stupid.

"i really like your tattoo." you blurted out.

mark's smile suddenly disappears, as he fixed his shirt to cover it up. it seemed strange, but maybe he just really regretted having a tattoo.

"a stupid decision, i hate it." he said so spiteful, that made you drop the topic.

mark drove you to the food bazaar, and ofcourse, you two shared a lil make out sesh before you actually get off the car.

"hmm, babe as long as i want to eat your face longer, jake's fuming mad and you know he's annoying when he sulks." you leaned away from mark's face, looking at him slowly opening his eyes, lips a bit tinted from your lipstick, as he chased for your lips one more time.

you chuckled, putting your palm flat against his pouty lips. "no. i'll see you later." you get off his lap, and pulled out your mirror as you retouched.

"i hate jake so fucking much." mark whined. you smacked him in his shoulder playfully.

"i'll go ahead-- i'll text you when we're headed to jiyeon's!" you opened the car door while you waved at him. he nodded and gave you a flying kiss which you dodged as a joke and shut his door close.

life is good-- you're with mark, probably the most perfect boy ever, maybe you're biased but he's just really exactly what you wished for.

except for the fact that you have nothing to hold on to.

no label. what keeps you going is the fact that he said he liked you too. that's it.

and for a while, you were fine with it.

--

"that's weird, mark still haven't texted me yet." you looked at your phonescreen for the ninth time, to see if mark had texted.

"you did say that you'll be the one texting when we're on the way to the party." jake, busy stuffing his face with food.

"but he would always-- always text me first. you know that."

"aish, fine. let's go, i'll just finish this," jake then shoved the entire food in his mouth before standing up.

you have no reason to be paranoid, but somehow tonight feels different. your gut tells you to just stay home and not attend the party. you know jiyeon would understand if you called and say you're sick, right?

"on a second thought, maybe i should just stay home." you said as you buckled up in jake's car.

"na-uh. i'm not wasting gas just to drive you home and drive all the way back to jiyeon's place. come on, stop being so weird."

so you did, get to the party. fullpacked, as expected of jiyeon, the school's cheerleader. she's such a sweetheart, honestly. that's why she's almost friends with anyone.

as you entered, your mind was focused on finding mark. you're sure he's here. that's what you guys planned.

you've been trying to call him but no one answers. jake said maybe he's just enjoying the party. you've got nothing to worry about.

and its not like you have the right to know everything about him. afterall, you're not his girlfriend.

"happy birthday!" you greeted jiyeon and gave her a hug.

"aw, i'm glad you could make it!" jiyeon hugged you back.

"yeah-- couldn't miss it, this is like the houseparty of the year."

"well, you know me." jiyeon chuckled.

"have you seen mark?" you can't help but ask, because you're starting to feel weird. you've been here for about twenty minutes now and you still haven't seen him.

"oh yeah, about that, he's here-- actually, he knows some of the friends i have in the other school! they said mark came from their school. so i think he's been hanging out with them." you felt a relief. mark's just hanging out with old friends.

you almost wanted to smack yourself for being too paranoid.

"they're at the back!" jiyeon wandered off to greet other guests, so you took that as a sign to walk towards the backyard.

as you get near, you already heard cheers, laughing and chatting coming from the backyard. there, you saw a small circle which was all unfamiliar to you. people here at the party are all familiar, but these ones aren't.

and the man you've been wanting to see all night, was there, having the time of his life laughing his soul out.

what sparked the most interest in you is the girl beside him. she's so beautiful. beautiful enough to make you worry.

"hey! you found him?" suddenly, jake appears beside you. when he saw where you're looking at, he recognized mark.

"there he is! dude!' jake called out, which you quickly tried to stop him. you blurted out, "don't!"

but its too late. mark looked at your direction, and his smile suddenly disappeared. he looked scared, and then nervous.

"he was with his old friends, jake, you shouldn't have." you said to jake before turning around.

something inside you didn't feel right. the way mark reacted upon seeing you at the party feels weird. it's like he's forgotten about you and was shocked when he saw you.

you were about to go to the other side of the house when your wrist was pulled. "y/n."

mark called you by your name. oh. something you haven't heard for months. usually he calls you 'babe' or 'baby'. maybe not this time.

"hey." you gave him a smile and peeked at his back, seeing the girl he was with, behind him and softly smiling at you.

"hi." she waved shyly, which you replied with a smile aswell.

"uh- y/n, this is ryujin." hesitation in mark's voice was obvious, as he introduced you to the girl.

the girl then offered her hands, which you shook immediately. she was slightly taller than you, medium length hair, and so pretty. what stuck out the most is her fair skin, and red lips. almost like a shade of a rose.

"nice to meet you. i'm mark's.." you got stuck. who are you to him? you didn't know. so you looked at mark and you saw his eyes was filled with nervousness as if he was anticipating what you were gonna say.

"--friend." that's it, that's the right answer. you were his friend. that's what it is. you looked at mark again and you saw him blink, realizing what you just said and taking a sharp breath.

"oh. well, i really want to stay and chat, but i have to pee. markie, where's the bathroom?" ryujin held onto mark's arms, and mark glanced at you before showing ryujin the hallway to the bathroom.

once they got further, thats when you loosen your grip on your drink. your breathing was back to normal and you felt relief.

and then, boom. you felt heartbreak.

who is she? that's the first thing that popped into your mind. you feel like crying, right here, right now. she seemed so important to him. more than you. and you wanted to ask him, yell at him, fuck, but you can't. because you're nothing to him.

the music got loud, that's when you snapped back into reality and looked whatever is happening. jiyeon is now in front, saying something about 'the party is just getting started'

yet you feel like you want to run and go home.

you then walked to the pool area, which no one barely goes to because the waters freezing. there's a few people in there, but most of them are in the backyard.

you tossed your shoe to the side and dipped your feet into the water. the cold made you shiver, but atleast even a mere feeling got you distracted.

you were lost. you forgot that he had a whole life before you met him. you've been together for six months. six fucking months.

and you weren't even official. so why do you feel so fucking upset?

for a moment, you felt your heart stop when another set of feet dipped into the water beside you. you looked up, and there he was. your baby.

"hi," he smiled at you. the very same smile that makes you crazy.

"hi." you turned away from his gaze, and watched your feet sway under the water.

"why are you here? the party's over there."

"jake's probably getting wasted by beer pong and you were.." you paused. do you tell him he was with his girl? "..busy."

"yeah, those were old friends from school." he scooted more over to your side.

"you should go back, she might be looking for you." there it is. the bitter tone that you held back, came out. you didn't mean to, but it did.

"y/n." mark tried to hold your hand, but you refused and moved it away, pretending to get your drink beside you.

"are you gonna tell me who she is?" you asked. this is the only thing you needed to know. just this, and everything else will be okay.

"she's.. she's my ex." boom. you expected it, but damn does it still sting.

"you still love her?"

"y/n.. please." mark now looked at you and tried to hold your hand once again, but you just stood up.

if he can't answer the question, then that's it.

"i think i need a drink." you then grabbed your shoe and wore it, before mark could even answer, you were already walking away.

--

the morning you woke up, your phone blew up like crazy. you had it turned off after you left the party and texted jake that you're heading home.

13 missed calls from my markeu <3

[11:01pm] my markeu <3: where are you

[11:02pm] my markeu <3: jake told me u went home alr

[11:04pm] my markeu <3: baby atleast tell me you're home safe

[11:06pm] my markeu <3: answer ur phone babe

and so many more messages from mark you didn't bother to read the rest because you felt really off. last night he couldn't tell you if he's still inlove with his ex. he was with her the whole night and didn't bother to text you. now he's bombarding you with texts.

you're so glad it's the first day of summer. you didn't have to go to school so avoiding him would be easy.

so, unlike everyone else, you stayed home. everyone was probably away from vacation, and here you are. in front of your laptop watching netflix.

but still.. your mind is stuck with mark and his ex.

an idea popped into your mind. you feel crazy for doing this, but you know your mind wouldn't rest until you find out about them.

you searched mark's instagram, and you went to the tagged pictures. at first you saw pictures from your school, the ones that jake had posted-- and as you scroll down, you saw pictures from his old school.

the most recent one are a post from a man named jaemin, its a photo of him, mark and other friends that was in the party last night. ryujin was also there. it seems like she's really close with them. the caption saying, 'gonna spend the summer with the whole squad!'

so, they're planning on staying here for the summer? that's.. fine.

and as you tapped in one picture, him with his friends, you looked at the comments. mostly are boys-- probably his friends. you scrolled down until you saw a picture from a year ago.

the first photo was mark's tattoo. a rose.

then the second one was a girl's tattoo. a daisy.

the caption,

ryuu_jin: happy 3rd anniversary to my daisy. love, your rose.

--

"so, are you coming? i mean, it's the annual summer party! everybody's gonna be there, you know, to start the summer!" jake tried to sound enthusiastic as he proposed to you about the summer slam in the falls.

its an annual summer party that your town have. booze, music and free drinks so you know everybody's not gonna miss it.

except for you. it has been three days since you avoided mark. he had made efforts to call you everyday, even asked jake for help but jake already knows what's happening. so he didn't help mark, instead, he's been with you.

"i don't know, i think i'll pass on this year." you have no interest in torturing yourself this time. because you're pretty sure that mark and ryujin, together with his friends are still in town.

jake looks almost pissed, sighing and calming his self down before sitting down at the edge of your bed.

"look, y/n, mark and his friends are gonna be here for the whole summer. so are you gonna shut yourself out the entire time? come on, don't be a bummer."

you looked straight at jake, "jake please, i told you i'm not feeling well! why don't you just go by yourself? its easier for you because you're not in my shoe, dude. i'm not like you, i can't pretend to be okay when obviously i'm not!"

"all of this and you're not even his girlfriend."

and that ticked you off. "what the fuck? yeah i'm not! and it still fucking hurts because i did love him, you asshole. fuck you, honestly. get out of my room." you covered yourself with blankets before a tear escaped your eyes.

jake seemed to realize that what he said was wrong, so he immediately softens, "i'm sorry, y/n. i didn't mean it like that. i'm sorry."

gosh, what is even happening? you and jake never argued like this before. all of this because of mark? this is not good.

you sighed. you slowly uncovered yourself and looked at guilty jake, giving you an awkward smile. "let's go to the party.

---

"wooh!" you screamed at top of your lungs after you took a shot of pure vodka.

jake clapped at your craziness, so proud of his best friend. everyone was either wet, or drunk. and right now, you're both.

"fuck that taste horrible." you mumbled after recovering.

"yeah, that's pure alcohol. if you keep doing that i might need to call the ambulance for alcohol poisoning." jake gave you a lemon slice which you gladly accepted.

"i'm really glad i went to this party." you gave jake a smile of approval and he just laughed in your face.

you were about to grab the keg hose to give yourself a beer, when suddenly someone got a hold of your wrist.

you looked at the person, and its probably the least person you wanted to see.

"y/n." okay, y/n, remember your rule. act fine, don't let this affect you. show him that you're okay.

"hey, mark! want a beer?" you smiled at him, offering him a cup.

he looked hella confused, "why did you block me?"

"phone's dead." you continued to pour yourself beer, ignoring his eyes at any costs.

"for a week?" he almost sounded offended, which almost makes you vomit. the audacity.

"yeah. anyways, have you seen jake--"

"cut the crap, i want to talk to you. please." his eyes begged, looking at yours with so much sincerity, the same eyes you know you can't resist.

"i don't know if there's still something to talk about." you whispered, gathering all your courage to slowly open the can of worms.

"there is. i want to tell you everything."

with final hesitation, you decided this needed to happen for your sake. you know you're dying to know everything--- to clear everything, your mind, your heart and soul. better to get over this now.

so you and mark decided to sit at the bench away from people at the party, away from the music.

"so.." you started, waiting for him to say something.

"we were childhood friends."

the first dagger to your heart. are you sure you can take more?

"--and we got into a relationship, for three years. i loved her-- god damn, i really did." the way his voice cracked, says a million words.

"what happened?" you asked as if the answer wouldn't shatter your heart.

"drifted apart. her interest was far from mine. she had a different view of our future. i wanted to be with her forever but she got scared. we were kids, of course she was terrified. she wanted to explore more-- but i was sure about her."

the threathening tears in your eyes started to feel warmer. you wanted to hear that one of them had cheated, you wanted to hear that she was a bad person. so you could have a reason to hate her. but fuck, of course she's not.

"you really loved her, didn't you?" you asked. again, as if the answer wouldn't send another dagger through your heart.

"i did." he didn't even hesitated.

"so.. what happens to me?" you looked at him and the way your voice broke just confirms that you're in the brink of tears.

"y/n.. please. what happened to me and ryujin really hits me hard. she was my first love-- i can't just forget her." his voice was pleading. which makes it harder for you because you can tell he's also hurting.

"i'm not asking you to forget, mark. i'm asking you to put me in my place."

"y/n-- i like you, so fucking much." he held your hand like he depended on it, and it burned-- the desperation on the way he held it, it feels foreign-- just a while ago you called him your home, yet now he felt like a stranger.

"that's not enough if you still love her." it wasn't his fault. so why are you hurting him like this?

"i can't lose you."

"you have no choice. because i'm not fixing a man that i didn't break."

--

you see, people come and go all the time, but the way they leave always stays. and with mark-- well, him and ryujin left with a bang.

an instagram post,

ryuu_jin 'he's mine, you may of had him once, but i got him all the time.'

and a picture of mark, smiling brightly at the camera while eating ice cream.

"fuck this shit." you tossed your phone and covered your face with your pillow and screamed.

what was the reason she had to caption it like that!? what a fucking way to rub it in your face.

"she's doing it on purpose, maybe mark had mentioned what happened to her. what a fucking prick." jake said through the phone. oh, he's pissed aswell.

one thing about jake is when he knows you're being ridiculed or being hurt by someone, he gets mad. he's protective about things like this.

he offered to message mark about it but you don't want to make a big fuss about it. you just don't want anything to do with them anymore.

you stayed home for almost a week. practically living off of mcdonald's chicken nugget and store bought ice cream. jake knew you were heartbroken so what better way to mend a broken heart than an unhealthy supply of fast food.

but today, you had no choice but to go to a coffee shop. you maybe heart broken but hell, that wouldn't stop you from getting your favorite caffeine drink from your favorite coffee shop.

"one americano for y/n." you heard the barista call your name so that's when you stood up and got your coffee.

you thanked the barista and quickly walked to the door but not quick enough, as your wrist were grabbed.

"what the--" you words cut off when you saw who pulled you.

"mark?"

"y/n. how are you?" voice laced with concern, he genuinely want to know how you're doing.

you pulled your wrist from him.

remember, y/n, you don't have to be bitter. you're better than them.

"doing great." you said. looking over him, seeing ryujin sitting at the chair where mark had been sitting earlier. honestly, if you've noticed that they're here, you would pass on coffee for today.

"i'm sorry about ryujin's post, i told her to delete it already." oh, so he didn't know about the stunt his girl pulled?

"don't worry about it, no big deal. i really have to go." you can only be nice for a while, but you can't spend your afternoon hanging out with him and his girl. you're not a saint.

"y/n, please, just let me.. fuck." he held your wrist again, he's in crisis. mark can never lie. you can tell when he's really in deep shit.

"let you what?"

"let me look at you. i fucking missed you." he whispered the last sentence but you picked it up.

you smirked. "you can't be that selfish, mark, right? now go, ryujin's already looking over here." she's already eyeing you and mark from a distance.

"shit." mark closed his eyes and squeezed your wrist gently, before letting go. you took that as a chance to walk away.

it felt nice-- the way you stood up for yourself.

you don't need him, you can go on fine by yourself. just a little bit of a kick start and you're off. its gonna be great. all's gonna be fine.

--

you know damn well this isn't happening to you.

you rang jake's phone again for a what feels like the ninety ninth time, but his service was out.

you see, what happened was jake had set you up with a friend. a really nice guy. 'something to take your mind off the canadian boy' in jake's words.

and you know jake knew what your taste in men are so he set you up with his good friend, jay.

he's good looking-- wait, no, he's fucking gorgeous. him and you had similar taste in music and all that cheesy stuff. you seemed to enjoy his company so you had spent hours talking to him.

he asked you if you could go with him at the slum city. a popular bar here in your town. something about a summer thing that the bar offers live band. you agreed, of course.

so here you are, sitting with him, listening to music you and him both like.

but why are you sweating buckets you might ask?

well because mark lee, and all of his friends are sitting at the other side of the bar. his arms around ryujin, them laughing about something that you're sure isn't funny.

"hey, you alright?" jay asked. poor boy, here he thought you would enjoy the vibe but you looked constipated.

"yeah. yep." you nodded at him to give him assurance.

you glanced over at mark's side of the bar and you saw him glancing over you aswell. you looked away swiftly and pretended to drink.

somehow, this large space where the music and chatters filled seemed so suffocating for you. you weren't even claustrophobic but the distance between you and mark feels so uncomfortable, you weren't ready to see him happy just yet.

sounds selfish, you know, but you can't help it. seeing him happy while you were on the opposite of the spectrum just didn't seem fair.

once you felt your chest tightening, you knew it was bad news. you need to get out of here.

"jay, i need to go to the bathroom." you whispered over to jay, which distracts him from watching the band in front. he looked at you with concern, and offered to walk you to the comfort room.

you gently refused, because honestly you weren't gonna go there to pee, you were actually planning to get out of the establishment. to breathe.

you stood there, hands in your waist, breathing the oxygen that the establishment failed to provide you.

you can still hear the music that the band played, but here its more lower. instead, it got clouded over some cars passing by and noise made by the highway.

"your boyfriend?" you almost jumped out of shock when you heard a female voice behind you.

you turned, and viola, the heather in your story.

"no. not yet." you replied to ryujin, although you were aware that your answer just opened the awkward silence that you were trying to avoid, there's not much you wanted to say to her.

"oh. that's nice." if you thought the situation couldn't be more awkward, her response just proved you wrong.

the whole minute that just passed feels like a lifetime. you were sure she went to you with a reason, and you were only waiting for her to say anything.

and just like you hoped, she spoke.

"you know, i've always wanted to meet you." her soft voice that fits her angelic face starting to annoy you.

you didn't answer, still finding a correct response to what she just said. before you could find it tho, she continued.

"you made him so happy. i can tell, i've been seeing his posts for the last few months."

at least she was aware that i was here for him.

"yeah well we both liked justin bieber so that's easy." you tried to lift the mood, which didn't really help at all.

she chuckled, damn, even her laugh sounds so angelic.

"but you know we've been together for 3 years, right?" mood turned sour faster than usain bolt. you can't help but look at her when she said that.

"and you two have been together for.. a half." hearing those words from her mouth just broke you. you've never felt so down, so embarassed and so mad at the same time.

"what's your point?" your tone started to get colder, wanting her to leave you alone. you can't argue with her, all she said was facts.

"that i'm his home, and he just went for a little vacation but he's still going back to me." her tone almost sounded like she's bragging, like she's proving that she's always the girl. which, she is.

"and i know that. but didn't you break up?" you wanted this conversation to be over, but god, you can't just let her step on you like everything was your fault.

"we did, for like-- a year. but guess who's driving me home tonight? him. he loves me and he will always do. so i suggest, stop wasting your time on him because he's mine. i know its a hard pill to swallow but you know i'm right."

how could you respond to that? she's got a point.

"i already ended things with him. so please, just leave me alone--"

"y/n? ryujin? wha- why are you two--" ah, the man behind all of this. mark lee.

"nothing, markie. just reminded her some things." ryujin came back with her innocent smile as she faced mark. yet, mark's eyes are on you.

"y/n? hey!"

the relief you felt when you heard jay call your name. right on motherfucking time.

you looked at him as he ran towards you, voice filled with concern as he looked at you and the couple around you with confusion.

"hey, sorry, got caught up with some.." you glanced at mark and ryujin, "..old friends."

jay wasn't convinced, still eyeing both of them as he consoled you and put his jacket around you.

"it's cold out here. you said you were going to the bathroom." you looked at jay.

you stared at him. this man, gives you everything you needed to be a partner, and you're sure he's got no ex that he's still not over with, and he's drop dead gorgeous. why can't it be him?

"i'm sorry. let's go--"

"y/n, can we talk?" a curse almost slipped your mouth as you heard mark.

you sighed. you're tired. you want to move on and get this all over with.

"yeah, let's talk." you gave jay an assuring smile and said that you'll be back, ryujin also had no problem with mark talking to you.

you needed to end this.

"who's he? your boyfriend? when did you--"

"what do you want from me, mark? cuz i'm sick and tired of the bullshit you're trying to play. if you choose your ex then stop bugging me! let me fucking move on because i can't be hung up on you like a stupid lovesick bitch!" there. the anger you've been trying to hide just flew out. and honestly, you don't care.

"i told you needed time to sort my feelings! it's hard for me too! i never expected her to want me back-- y/n, i thought we were over!" his voice sounded exhausted aswell.

"you were broken up but you weren't over her, mark. that's just not fair for me, because how could you start something with me when you're not even finished with her?" your tears started to flow.

"i genuinely liked you, fuck i might be inlove with you for pete's sake!" you ears rang after you heard word 'love'.

you wanted to believe him. you wanted to ask and confirm what you heard but you knew it wasn't true. it can't be love. no.

"you don't, mark." you gave up on yelling, completely breaking down in front of him.

"how can you dictate my own feelings, y/n?! you don't know me!" he's the one yelling now.

"you weren't inlove with me, you like me because the idea of me reminds you of her--"

"no!-"

"let me fucking finish!"

his mouth falls into a thin line, a tear slowly filling the brim of his eyes.

"mark, don't you understand? you're saying that you love me because you feel guilty. you feel like you owe it to me, because i got hurt. can't you see? i'm the other girl."

there it is. the fact that you hated. the truth that you despise. you were the side character.

"you two are meant for each other and i'm just the other girl who you had to meet when you're broken-- just like any other lovestory. and after the happiness you felt with me-- you'll realize that it's still her. i hate to admit it but that's what it is." your voice was trembling, but you had to get the point across.

"what are you saying? no, y/n, don't be like that--"

"it's okay. i'll be fine, mark. you don't need to say anything." you shushed him, giving him a smile despite the tears rolling on your cheeks.

you continued, "it fucking sucks that it had to be me, but what can we do? life sucks anyways. you don't need to blame yourself over this, mark. i'm okay-- i'll be okay."

you caressed his soft cheeks to get rid of his tear, one last time.

you took a sharp breath. "go, mark. be with her. i'll be here. you know that boy-- earlier? he's a great catch, i know he'll take care of me. it's okay, let go."

mark, finally processing everything that you're trying to make him understand.

he sniffed, leaning to your face, giving you a stare you knew you wouldn't see again, before kissing your forehead like his life depended on it.

after a few minutes he looked at you again.

"thank you-- and i'm so sorry." the last words he said before walking away.

A year later

that brings you to now, you were already settling down on a new job, an internship that your school had gotten you after graduating.

jay and you tried, but it didn't work. maybe you're still hung up over your college fling but mostly you really don't want to lead him on when you're still not ready to fall into another relationship again.

you were scrolling through instagram and one particular post caught your attention.

it was from ryujin.

ryuu_jin: i said yes!

a picture of her hand, wearing a diamond ring.

you smiled. you weren't gonna say it doesn't hurt still, but you're glad they got the ending they deserved.

mark took all of his effort to avoid you-- even changing his entire schedule just to make sure you two weren't in the same class anymore. you never saw him again-- literally as he moved back to seoul after graduation.

he had stopped hanging out with jake aswell which doesn't bother jake-- because he's still mad at him for hurting you.

you'd accepted the faith that you weren't mark's happy ending, you were just a mere side character.

"it's fine, you'll get your prince charming soon." you whispered at yourself as you fixed your skirt.

you dusted off your button up shirt as you walked towards the building where you walk.

and as you looked up, its way too late for you to notice that you're bumping with someone.

"i'm so sorry! i'm so--"

to say that you're stunned was a huge understatement. your jaws were dropped upon seeing the man in front of you.

"sorry." his deep voice followed, smiling at you, presenting his eye smile that oh-- just adds to it all.

"yeah- uh.." you didn't know what to say, as you forced your eyes away from his gorgeous face.

"do you happen to know where na corporations is?" na corporations? that's the company you're interning right now!

"i'm actually on my way there-- uh, i'm the new intern." you grabbed your id and showed it to him, which he saw, and immediately his brows furrowed.

"y/n?" he muttered your name to spark some memory in his brain, because he swore you felt familiar.

that's when it downed on him, "you're l/y/n?"

you blinked twice, softly nodding to him as you let your id down. he took his time scanning your face, and you took the opportunity to appreciate his gorgeous face aswell.

is this my prince charming? no-- i mean, it can't be that fast!

although you wished he is, because god damn, you'd be a lucky girl if you managed to pull this one.

"i'm lee mark's cousin, lee jeno."

oh you've got to be kidding me.

[whereireid]

little harrington : eddie munson

pairing: Eddie munson x fem!harrington!reader

summary: no matter how badly you claim to hate eddie munson, you can't seem to get him out of your mind.

warnings: enemies to lovers, nsfw content, 18+ minors dni, fingering

-

Hawkins' High has always been a pain in your ass. From freshman to senior year, not once have you caught a break. Frankly, you're tired of Hawkins; tired of the small town, picket-fence life, and you can't wait to get out. It can't come soon enough, really. Graduation is just around the corner, and you have an array of scholarships you can pick from. You’re practically set for life when you decide which college you’re going to. Decisions are hard, though. And you’re not exactly sure if you want to go to college.

But you kind of have to. Because of the stupid Harrington legacy. Carrying the Harrington name is more of a curse than a blessing. From the Rich dad, the housewife mom, and the older brother who was the King of Hawkins’ High?  You don't really have a choice but to be great. If you don't go to college, what will you do? Disappoint your parents and put shame upon the Harrington name?

No way. That is not an option.

Still, it irritates you how hard you have to work for things. How standards are held so high for you and one mistake would make standards slip and ruin your 'good girl' reputation forever. You hate how some people have no standards held to them, how they can easily do whatever they want, when they want, without caring whether or not it affects other people.

Basically, you hate the guy that sits next to you in every one of your classes. Hate how much he relies on you and your notes to get through every test. Hate his long brown curls and the grin he shoots you when you slide your notes over to him. You especially hate how it makes your heart race and your knees weak when he winks at you in appreciation, thanking you softly for how wonderful you are and how the notes are the reason he'll graduate this year.

God, you hate him so much. And yet somehow you can’t stop thinking about him. Eddie Munson and his stupid little guitar necklace and unkept long, bouncy curls are all that cloud your mind, day or night.

Wednesday mornings are your least favorite day of the week. It’s the only free period you have all week - or used to have, anyway, before your English professor ‘politely’ forced you to tutor Eddie freaking Munson during it. You huff as you walk into Hawkins’ high, a scowl on your face. Steve had been busy doing some weird, fantasy saving-the-world shit with his little freshman friends, so he couldn’t drop you off at school. Your only option was walking, which was a pretty terrible decision considering that it was pissing down with rain and you lived half an hour away from Hawkins’ high. You didn’t want to walk to school, especially not that early, in that weather, but you did anyway. Because you had to. Because if you don’t tutor Eddie Munson in your ‘free’ period, your English tutor will make sure the grades you want aren’t the grades that you get. You're certain that deep down your English teacher doesn't actually give a rats ass about Eddie Munson, but just wants him to graduate already, because the dude is twenty and still at Hawkins High.

Huff and puff and I'll blow your house down, you think as you round the corner, heading towards the drama room. To your dismay, on a Wednesday morning, the drama room is the only room that's free in the entirety of Hawkins' high,. You absolutely despise the drama room - how much it reminds you of Eddie Munson and his stupid D&D club and his even stupider band Corroded Coffins. You also hate how much the drama room smells like him and his shitty Calvin Klein cologne, and you especially despise the fact that the drama room is where you are forced to spend your Wednesday mornings to help him pass his classes because he's too lazy to actually bother studying.

You suck in a breath as you walk into the drama room, clasping tightly onto a copy of Romeo and Juliet. There, Eddie Munson sits - a sly smirk on his face, sitting on his chair as though it's a throne. "Well, well, well, look whose finally showed up," Eddie announces from his chair, and you have to hold back the urge to throw your book at him. "What kept you, sweetheart? You're never usually this late for anything."

"Bad weather and I had to walk, Munson," you bite, slamming your books on the table with a thud. You feel his eyes watch your every move, and it makes you slightly nauseous at how piercing they are.

"You're a whole three minutes late," he says numbly, checking the watch on his wrist, unimpressed. "Imagine if I told Principal Higgins about your terrible punctuality."

Nostrils flaring slightly, you glare at him. God, you hate how sickly sweet he smells, and how unkept his hair is from the rain. "No more small talk, Munson," you say quietly, "I'm here to tutor you, and that's what I'm going to do."

Eddie's inquisitive personality conflicts with yours. Where you are uninterested; unbothered, Eddie is curious, and bites at you with questions. "Was big brother Harrington not able to give you a lift here today?" When you don't answer, Eddie presses on, "was he too busy working at Family Video? Or did your dad finally give the King of Hawkins' high his allowance back?"

You hate your brother's name is mentioned around you. King Steve. Basketball champion. Notorious flirt, horrific womanizer. Compared to how Steve was at Hawkins; you're nothing - not even a fly on the wall. You're dull compared to him, incredibly occupied with studying and impressing your parents. You're popular, sure, but are you really liked like he was?

"Have you ever heard the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat'?" you quip back slightly, opening your Romeo and Juliet textbook. You flicker through the pages, bored. You know how to analyse this book a thousand times over, you can recite every one of your notes simply from the depths of your brain. But you have to bring it, because somehow, Eddie Munson never remembers anything you tell him.

"I have, little Harrington,” he raises a brow, getting uncomfortably close to you. His hair tickles your face and you grimace slightly, wide eyes staring at him when he sings out, “but that isn’t how the rhyme finishes.”

You snort. “You’re wrong, Munson. The rhyme finishes there,” you snap, though unsure if it actually does. Your eyebrows are furrowed, eyes skimming the textbook in front of you. You try to focus on anything other than his close proximity, though it’s difficult.

“In all my years I’ve known you, sweetheart, I’ve never ever seen you be wrong before.” A chuckle slips pasts his lips, and he stares at you, his gaze piercing, his eyes suddenly full of interest. The look on his face makes you squirm. “It actually goes: curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.”

“Eddie,” you breathe out, pinching your nose slightly in annoyance. “I wish you studied Romeo and Juliet as much as you do rhymes; because if so we both wouldn’t have to be here.”

Eddie were his lips slightly, his gaze so incredibly heavy and intense it makes you shuffle uncomfortably. “I enjoy being here, sweetheart. ‘S my favourite day of the week.”

His words take you aback slightly, and you frown. He’s never said anything like that before - usually opting to bicker back and complain about your presence. You thought he was going to brag about how dumb you were for not knowing such a simple saying, and the fact he didn’t has honestly left you a little shocked.

—

Applying another layer of lipgloss to your lips, you stare at yourself in the mirror. Your brother is having a party and you just so happened to be invited. He didn't really have a choice but to invite you, seeing as you lived with him.  Besides, all of your friends are coming, and you need to get a particular someone out of your mind.

You feel better than you did this morning; relieved that you've got another tutoring session out of the way. There’s only fifteen more weeks until graduation - so that's only fifteen more tutoring sessions with the devil himself. On a good note, you never have to interact with Eddie Munson again after you graduate. You can just push him to the back of your mind and be done with him.

Somehow, though, you seriously doubt that you could actually do that because you can never seem to get Eddie Munson out of your mind. For the past couple of weeks, after your tutoring sessions with him, you’ve been unable to stop thinking about him. All you can think about is his stupid hair and how messy it is; how hard can it be to pick up a hairbrush? In today's tutoring session, though, he actually seemed to have bothered with his appearance; his hair was not knotty whatsoever, and his breath was so minty it made your eyes sting. He didn’t smell of weed at all; just incredibly strong cologne, and you’re almost certain it’s rubbed off on your own clothes because you kept catching whiffs of his scent when you were walking home.

You almost wonder if Eddie Munson had a date he was prepared for, but you shrug that thought to the back of your mind quickly. You don’t like how unnerved it makes you; the thought of Eddie Munson going on a date with a girl. An actual living, breathing person. And you aren’t sure why.

Steve's loud music seems to vibrate around the entire house, and you bite your lip in concentration as you begin to walk down the stairs. You're in six inch stiletto heels - something you’d never usually wear, but you want to make an impression. Sure, your big brother is known for his parties, but you’re known for your entrances.

And tonight, it’s going to be a big one.

An inappropriately short, sleek black dress hugs your curves. Your tits are almost spilling out of the top, and with each step you take down the stairs, they jiggle. If you bend forward merely an inch you’re certain to expose the black lace panties that you’re wearing. The dress is fun and so incredibly dangerous dangerous.

Also, it was  impossibly expensive. No way in hell were you ever going to be able to afford it, so you made a decision.

Good girl Harrington broke the law.

It had sat in your wardrobe for months afterwards. The thought of wearing it made guilt wash over you like a tsunami wave, but eventually that guilt eroded away, and you became desperate for a chance to wear it.

Tonight is the perfect night. When you finally make it down the stairs, your eyes latch on to your older brother, who seems to be talking to somebody. Who, you don’t know; his obnoxiously large hair is blocking their frame, and you grin to yourself as you walk over to Steve. Your body brushes against strangers, and the boys you slide past let their hands linger on you far too long, but you aren’t bothered.

Their lingering hands and wandering eyes only instils confidence in you. You’re getting closer to Steve, but it stinks of sweat and beer and you crinkle your nose in disgust. These parties that Steve throw aren’t exactly your favourite. Though he is the of Hawkins high, he’s also your big brother. You know he’s down to throw a party for any occasion, and you also know Nancy Wheeler is in the living room playing beer pong, so you want to know why Steve isn’t following her around like a love sick puppy.

“You lost without master Wheeler, Stevie?” you ask from behind him, reviling in the sigh that slips past his lips. “Just saw her in the living room playing beer pong with Byers.”

“I know. I was actually about to go see her now.” Not once does Steve turn to face you, and you narrow your eyes at his back, genuinely curious as to who he’s blocking from you. To whomever it is, Steve mutters, “Have fun with her stubborn little ass.”

When your big brother turns and starts to walk off, it’s like the air has been knocked out of your lungs.

What the fuck was he doing here?

Never, had you ever expected Eddie Munson to be standing in your kitchen. You certainly have never expected for him to be sheepishly holding a beer,  the ghost of a smile tugging at his lips as he looks down on you, dressed seriously well for once. There’s not a tear in his shirt or his jeans, and you glare up at him.

“What the hell are you doing here, Munson?” you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest. “Can’t give me a moments peace at school, and now you’re in my kitchen? Pretty perverted if you ask me.” You wave an accusatory finger in his face, but he just smirks in response.

“This party was open invitation, little Harrington,” Eddie grins down at you, basking in your glare. “Plus, me and Steve? Pretty good buds, actually. We’ve have more in common than you think, and he suggested that I should come.”

The thought of Eddie being anything more than a stranger to your brother makes your stomach churn slightly. “God, just shut up. What could you and Steve possibly have in common?”

Eddie stares down at you, and you hate how his eyes glisten as he listens to you speak. Like he actually understands what you’re saying and is genuinely interested in your thoughts. You hate how he wets his stupid perfect lips before he speaks, and you hate his answer to your question. “We both think that you’re super fucking annoying—”

“Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” You clench your jaw slightly, staring up at the metalhead in front of you. “You know what, Munson? You sure as hell have some nerve, showing up at my house, drinking my dads beer, talking to my brother. Why don’t you get your own life, you creep, instead of trying to take mine?”

You turn on your heel sharply, making your way to the stairs. Tears cloud your vision, and you know it’s stupid to cry over someone like Eddie fucking Munson. And maybe it’s not him you’re upset about. Maybe it’s the fact your own brother thinks you’re an annoying, obnoxious dweeb.

You hate everything about Eddie Munson, you decide when you finally make it to your bedroom. You hate his long, curly hair, his pretty brown eyes, and you especially hate how he always calls you “little Harrington” because you get it - you’re not Steve, and you’ll never live up to his legacy or anyone else’s who carries the Harrington name.

Your bedroom is your haven. Your safe space. It’s comfort. When you slip in there; you finally let a few tears slip, but wipe them away as quickly as possible. It’s stupid to cry over something so small, and you stumble towards your bed, kicking your heels off. Why did Eddie Munson have to show up and ruin everything?

A knock on the door interrupts your thoughts. Trying to salvage any respect that the person opposite it may have for you, you wipe the mascara which stains your cheeks aggressively, trying to make it look as though you haven’t been crying.

It doesn’t work. “Come in,” you murmur, your fingers toying with the bottom of your dress. You look at yourself in the mirror, biting your lip softly as you hear your door click open. You hope it's your brother coming to check on you - you hope he's wondering what's got you so upset just so you can tell him his dickwad friend Eddie Munson is quite literally ruining your life.

Unfortunately, though, it's not your brother. Rather, it's the nightmare of all nightmares, the devil's spawn, or in simpler terms, the person that you hate the most in this world. "You okay, sweetheart?" he asks quietly, standing in your doorway. The hallway light illuminates him, and his shadow splotches on your bedroom floor.

“Munson, why are you up here?” you breathe out, staring into your lap. “Go enjoy the party, scare some babes off, engage in a satanic ritual. Just - just leave me alone.”

“Can’t leave you alone when you’re in such a state, sweetheart.” Eddie decides to step into your room, grimacing slightly as his boots press into your carpet.  “What’s upset you so bad? Failing in a class?”

Chuckling dryly, you turn your head to face him. You know you must look awful, black mascara staining your cheeks and the underneath of your eyes, but you don’t care. It’s Eddie Munson in front of you, not Tom Cruise. “What’s upset me so bad? Maybe it’s the fact you and my brother love shit talking me, Munson.”

“Shit-talking you?” Eddie repeats, slowly edging closer to you. He drinks in your room, slightly amused with what he sees. You love the color pink - he knows that, and he sees it in the little splatters of pink colouring streaking across your room. From pink teddy bears to pink perfume bottles to the pink heels which lay slightly besides your TV cabinet, Eddie sees it - he sees you. “We don’t shit-talk you, sweetheart. You’ve minced my words real wrong.”

“Minced your words wrong? I get that you’re a dumbass, Eddie, and that analysis isn’t exactly you’re strong point, but I think it’s pretty easy to assume that if you and my brother both discuss how ‘fucking annoying’ I am, you’re shit talking me.”

The stare you shoot Eddie is blank, and your eyes narrow as he shuffles slightly closer to you. You hate how short his Dio shirt is, how the sleeves ride up so high on his arms; you hate how the flex of his biceps as he watches you talks makes your stomach flip. You hate his stupid tattoos and you especially hate how he smells so good, and the thought of him putting on aftershave to impress anyone at this stupid party of Steve’s makes you hate him even more.

“Those tutoring sessions of yours has helped out with my analysis, sweetheart,” Eddie tells you, his curls falling in front of his eyes slightly. He absolutely despises how pretty you look; how oblivious you are to his true feelings. “And we weren’t shit talking you. Honest. Swear to Satan.”

You snort slightly at his words, looking up from his lap. He holds his hands up in mock surrender and you’re suddenly hyper aware of how close he is. He’s merely a few inches away, and it’s like a lump is suddenly stuck in your throat. “Yeah?” you question, staring up at him.

“Yeah. I mean, we do sometimes talk about how annoyingly smart you are. Steve’s pretty jealous of that. But that’s it, really,” Eddie murmurs, his fingers reaching out and grazing over your face. His touch makes your heart jump slightly, and it feels like you’re suddenly struggling to breathe. “Got mascara running all down your pretty little face.”

Did Eddie Munson just call you pretty? And more importantly, why the hell is he looking in your eyes like the stars and the moon are in them?

“Pretty, really, Munson? Stop trying to worm your way into my heart and piss off.” you bite, but Eddie ignores your rough gaze, keeping his hand pressed against your face. He feels warm, and on his wrists you can smell his cologne. He floods your senses and you hate how nice it feels.

“Everybody thinks you’re pretty, little Harrington.”

“Yeah, yeah. I bet you say that to all the girls.”

You hate how intense his gaze is, how your heart is racing and how your skin lights up with goosebumps as he brushes his thumb over your cheekbone. You especially hate the upwards quirk of his lips as he speaks. “What girls? You ever seen me bicker with anyone else that isn’t you?” he asks, gently rubbing his thumb over your cheekbone. “I really do think you’re pretty.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You’re the prettiest girl in the world.” Eddie can’t help his eyes flicker to your lips. You look so inviting, warm, and he watches as you squirm with nerves under him.

A Munson with a Harrington? There’s no way on Earth. It’ll be just like Romeo and Juliet.

But what if, what if, what if. What if he leans in and kisses you for just a second, will the both of you be damned if he does? Eddie doesn’t want to know. He doesn’t want to find out.

But it seems like you do.

You hate how soft Eddie’s lips are upon impact. You hate how you had to kiss him first. You especially hate how loving and soft his lips are against yours, how his arms come down to cradle both your cheeks, how they don’t slide down to your chest.

You hate how you have to make all of the moves. You pull him on top of you, and you squeal slightly as he barely manages to avoid all of his weight falling on you. Eddie’s lips work in harmony with yours, his hands gently sliding down to your arms, rubbing soft circles on them. He smells so good and it drives you crazy, and deep down you feel bad for whatever girl he’s made an effort for, because tonight he’s not hers but he’s yours. And you kind of hate whatever girl it is, because who is special enough to get Eddie Munson’s attention? Who is more special than you?

It’s despicable how your stomach twists as Eddie’s lips part yours and he begins to plant kisses to your cheeks and then slowly to your neck. You hate the rush of heat to your core, and you hate how you whimper his name. Steve’s music is so loud in your bedroom but all you can really hear is your own heartbeat throbbing in your ears, wanting Eddie closer. You hate how good it feels when Eddie’s jeans accidentally press against your crotch, you hate how you buck your hips up into him, wanting him to touch you more.

“Desperate, huh?” he whispers against your neck, his teeth grazing your skin gently, tongue lapping at the marks he’s making with what seems like genuine care. “Pretty girl Harrington desperate for me?”

When he grins up at you, you shut your eyes; in genuine disbelief that you’re making out with Eddie Munson. And you can’t actually comprehend the fact that he feels good. “I guess you could say that,” you breathe out as his lips slide down slightly, and he splatters kisses against your collarbone.

His kisses are electric. You feel like yiur entire body is on fire when he touches you and you hate it. Of all people, of all men, why did Eddie Munson have to be the one to make you feel this way?

His kisses begin to falter. Eddie looks up at you, his hands gently toying with your dress. It’s soft and gentle, like a delicate flower; like you, and he’s suddenly all aware that this should not happen, that Eddie Munson and good girl Harrington should not hook up.

But he looks up at you for consent anyway. And when you grant it, Eddie’s fingers latch on your dress and begins to pull it off.

Your dress slides off easily, and your face burns with embarrassment as Eddie drinks you in. He’s still fully clothed, and you feel slightly insecure as he stares at you, his cheeks flushed slightly red. “Are you gonna take your shirt off or something, or are you just gonna leave me here bare?”

“Just enjoying the view,” Eddie says, but he takes his shirt off nonetheless.

He’s more athletic than you imagined. Slightly lean. Your eyes dart over the tattoos which litter his chest, but in the heat of the moment, your brain struggles to comprehend what they are.

“How far do you want to go?” he asks you, gently pressing kisses against your chest, his arms snaking under you to unclip your bra. You hate how your body shivers at the action, how good it feels when it slides off of you.

The cold air pinches at your nipples, and you whine slightly as Eddie’s hands gently begin to toy with them. He rolls and pinches the buds between his fingers perfectly, and you hate to think about who else he has done this to for him to be so good at it. “All the way,” you mumble out as his lips latch onto your breast, and your hands find their way into his hair, fingers dancing and pulling at the roots.

He sucks and nips at your bud, the pain perfect, and you hate how wet your underwear is becoming. You know he’s going to be able to physically see how good he’s making you feel, and if you’re being honest, you just want him, now.

But you’ve never had anyone before. And as Eddie trails kisses down to your thighs, his hands parting them with ease, you can’t help the rush of excitement as you imagine him inbetween your legs, coming undone.

You’ve never gotten this far with anyone. Not even your ex. But there’s something different about Eddie - the rush he gives you drives you wild. Right now, you hate how much he worships you, how his kisses gently lead up to your clothed pussy, how he places kisses on your panties, teasing. You hate how his actions make your clit throb, and by God you hate how you buck into his face.

“Eddie,” you almost growl, trying to force your crotch into your face. He’s a perfect mastermind. You worry he’s gotten you worked up for nothing, worry that he’s going to pull away and say it’s a prank because why the fuck would Eddie Munson and you hook up? “Don’t be such a tease.”

“You backchat even when I’m treating you good.” Eddie pulls your panties to the side, a low whistle passing his lips, his hot breath hitting your pussy with force. It makes you whine out slightly. “Jesus Christ, you’re so wet. Thought I was the last guy on Earth who’d ever make you feel this good, sweetheart.”

You grit your teeth together, squirming beneath him as he slides his tongue from your slit to your clit, making gentle circles around your swollen bud. “I hate how good you are at this,” you breathe out, stomach flipping as he sucks gently at your bud, your hips stuttering as he rolls his tongue up and down you.

“You hate a lot of things about me, huh, sweetheart?” Eddie’s voice vibrates against your clit, and you groan slightly when he pulls away. He’s abandoned his jeans somewhere - you didn’t even notice they were off, and you can’t help the heat rushing to your face as you stare at his crotch.

He’s so fucking big. “I hate everything about you.” Eddie’s gently slips a finger into you, and you whine out at his touch, revelling in how fast he finds your spongy spot. He grins down at you when you buck your hips, satisfied with how good he’s going to make you feel.

“You’re not gonna hate me when I’m done with you.” Eddie’s finger curl into you, slowly toying with your core, and your stomach flips as the cold metal of his rings presses against your slit. He edges another finger inside of you, the burn of his two digits setting your body alight with sparks. “Somethin’ tells me you’re gonna love me when I’m finished here, sweetheart.”

You can’t even bark back a response because his fingers begin to ruthlessly fuck you. They stretch you apart, and you can’t begin to imagine what his cocks going to be like if his fingers are this bad. Squelching sounds fill the room and you’re horrifically reminded about how wet Eddie Munson has made you, but all of your negative thoughts about him fade away when his tongue comes down to lap at your clit when he fingers you.

The tips of his fingers curl and dance at the spongy spot inside of you, his fingers uncomfortable around your walls. Tightening around him hurts so good, and as his tongue swirls around your clit, your stomach flips, your core exploding with a sensation you’ve never felt before. Eddie looks so good in between your legs - his hair is slightly messy again, and his eyes are trained on you as he pumps his digits in and out of you, seeming reviling in how you whimper and shake at his touch.

“I think I’m close.” You breathe out, scrunching your nose in frustration as his digits slow. Your whole body is on fire, your back is arching and hips are bucking into his fingers in a desperate plea to get him to start again.

“Good girl Harrington gonna cum all over my fingers, huh?” His words ooze like honey as his fingers slowly curl against your spot. It’s so gentle and it stimulates you impossibly well - the stretch of his fingers is pleasureable now, and his rings send a fluttering sensation across your pissy everytime his digits slide back into you. “I wanna go slow, make you squirm. Payback for that foul mouth of yours.”

“My mouth isn’t foul,” you grit your teeth as he fingers fuck you painfully slow, but the effect they have on you are the same nonetheless.

“Maybe not foul, but definitely very ladylike.” He shoots back.

Your legs desperately wrap around Eddie’s head, your thighs tightening on either side. You imagine crushing him for teasing you; but you genuinely don’t have the energy - it’s like his fingers are taking everything from you. Your bedroom has been taken over by the sound of Eddie’s fingers fucking your pussy, ugly slaps echoing around the room. Steve’s music has no home in your bedroom anymore, all that exists is your moans and your squelching pussy tightening around Eddie’s fingers.

And though he’s going slow, he’s bringing you close. No man has made you feel this way. Jason Carver, your ex, couldn’t navigate your pussy if he had a fucking map - he just prodded and poked, impressed with his moves and not bothering to ask if you enjoyed them. But Eddie knows his way around you - his fingers don’t stop curling and you’re core tightens, your stomach flipping, eyes squeezing shut. Your entire body is tingling, and your pussy squeezes his fingers as your legs begin to shake. “Come for me, pretty girl, you can do it,” he coos, and you hate how your body listens to him. You’ve never felt such a release - it’s like you’ve been drowning and you finally came up for air. Your moans muffle the squelching sound, the sexual noise of you squirting all over Eddie’s fingers and clothed crotch, and for once you’re grateful for Steve’s stupid music creating a barrier between your room and the outside world, because without it the whole of Hawkins high would have definitely heard you get fingered by Eddie Munson.

“Enjoyed that, huh?” Eddie asks, his breath fanning at your neck. He plants gentle kisses, and you flinch slightly as his incredibly soaked crotch pressed against the inside of your thigh. “You still hate me, Harrington?”

“Kind of. You’re still real fuckin’ stupid, Munson.” Your hand comes up to Eddie’s hair, and you squeeze your eyes shut as you gently begin to play with the roots of his hair. “But I am beginning to grow a liking towards you.”

Eddie smiles into your neck, his body relaxed against yours.  Your heart is racing against your chest, trying to figure out how he makes you feel this way. How no matter how hard you try, you can’t get him out of your head. And how somehow, Eddie freaking Munson has wormed his way into both your bedroom and your heart.

[the-haikyuu-trash]

used to be my special someone. || kuroo tetsurou

author’s note: i really wanted to make a book out of this so it would be heart wrenching but i got lazy 😿 also this was inspired by this photo and it’s also inspired by my ex boyfriend because i got my heart broke 4 months ago <3 well some bits of it (especially the one month thing :D) but basically thats how we ended BUT AT LEAST I CAN USE IT PRACTICING WRITING ON FANFICTION AND LAUGH IT OFF <3

Tags : angst, hurt, break up, classmates to bestfriends to lovers to exes troupe, it won’t make you cry but you’ll understand

Characters : Kuroo Tetsurou x F!Reader , Sakusa Kiyoomi X F!Reader

Ever since first year high school, after being in the same class and being seatmates for three years straight, making memories every where they go, playing the same sports, share the humor, they instantly became best of friends.

Kuroo Tetsurou was… a special someone to (Name).

Because to (Name), Kuroo was the one who:

would listen to her endless rambles about this and that, her interest or the plot of a badly written movie which he responds with such interest, urging for her to continue since he “always looking forward to hear about her day.”

took care of her when she experienced her first break up, crying her eyes out, letting her tears fall to his chest as he hugged her tightly, promising an ice cream to make her feel better even though it was midnight.

would constantly tease her when she got one answer wrong from their quiz, telling her if she keeps falling asleep she would soon fall behind him and she has no choice to study with him— which she instantly said “you would love that now do you?” Remembering how his face turned red when she smirked at him.

took her to the nurse’s office because she received the ball with her face when Kuroo distracted her during their practice, letting out a loud laugh as he gave her a piggy back ride, teasing her that “so much of a volleyball player” that (Name) was to embarrassed to say anything because the student are looking at them, whispering “such a weird couple”

would always checks up on her and knows (Name) like the back of his hand.

would take care of (Name).

He was the one. That’s why it was no surprised to all of them when they graduated, where he asked her to become his girlfriend, with a properly arranged bouquet and love letters (Kuroo spent so much time writing those by the way. “I wrote them evertime I think of you.” She remembered him telling her that.) making her smile so wide that it hurts her cheeks and everything seemed so perfect.

Too perfect.

That (Name) wonders where it did all go wrong? It’s only been a year in their first year college? Was it the lack of time together? Was she clingy? What was it? Her eyes that used to be so full of love everytime she saw him was replaced by sorrow and confusion and he hated that he was the reason, but there was no going back and letting the silence of the night envelopes them.

She saw this coming but refuse to acknowledged it. The short messages? The cancelled dates? Him being distant? She wished it was just her imagination, but unfortunately… it really happened.

“You didn’t… do anything bad— you were the perfect girlfriend I could ever have but… I—…” Kuroo whispers, looking down at the pavement, because he can’t look at her in the eyes with love and adoration anymore and he knows that would hurt her more.

“… you what?” She asked, (Name) didn’t mean to be harsh but she was genuinely asking because if she didn’t get her answer now, then this pain she’s feeling right now, it would just haunt her.

Taking a deep breath, he finally looked at her, clenching his fist to see her tear rolled down to her cheek and he badly wants to wipe away her tears but he holds himself back and it was painful for him to see her like this because of him. Kuroo cursed himself, that he broke his promise to her— that she could trust him.

“I just couldn’t see you in my future.” She stares at him helplessly, like she’s been slapped in the face with reality after living in fantasy for so long.

It was true. At first, he saw her getting married to him, having a life together, building a family but then the next— it feels it wasn’t right.

(Name) could feel her heart dropped to her stomach and she felt sick standing in front of the man who thought who loves her the way she does to him. She doesn’t know what to say, what to feel or what to do but she couldn’t bring herself to be angry at Kuroo, even after he breaks her heart and his promise so she musters a forced smile, trying to blink away the tears. “I… see.”

She remembers how miserable she was back in college, she went so much in her stage of grief and after hearing about Kuroo actually finding a girlfriend after a month of breaking up, God… she was a mess. Had her worth question, asking herself if he really did loved her, made her look in the mirror so many times to see what was wrong with her and it was so painful to hear what the their former classmates says about her.

“They were literally so perfect.”

“Maybe she was the problem, to see that Kuroo moved on after a month?”

“Or maybe Kuroo cheated on her?” (No, he didn’t, she thought harshly, because she knows that he will be honest with her if he did cheated. Why is (Name) still defending him—)

She was angry at herself for being so vulnerable, angry at Kuroo for making her feel this way where every night she keeps telling herself that “If I only knew how much pain I’d been in. I wish I never met you.” She cringes everytime she remembers that, (Name) admits she was being dramatic.

But soon her anger turned to nothing after years goes by, because someone picked up those pieces and put it all back together slowly and safely to the point (Name) was ready to fall in love again, and this time, there was no doubt and no hesitance in her relationship, making her fall deeper and he’s there to catch her. (their love story was something else— the whole campus knows about it too). She knew this time, she’s making a right choice and happy that faith brought them together. (Name) is finally herself again.

—

When she saw Kuroo again in the MSBY VS Schweiden Adlers match, still tall, hair still the same but so much different now, it all feels that the world slowed down when their eyes meet after years of not seeing eachother. The moment feels like the first time they met but so much more special than it should.

Even though the ex-lovers were shocked, there’s no bitterness hanging on the air and (Name) was the first one to give him a soft smile, walking towards him with confidence and crossed her arms against her chest as she stopped in front of him.

“Hey.” She says softly and Kuroo has to snap from his trance after seeing his ex-girlfriend walks in the room, still beautiful since the day he lost her.

Kuroo fixed his sleeves that was rolled up to his arms, nervousness was seeping through his bones before resting his hands on his hips to calm himself down, sending a smile to (Name). “Hey you.” He breathed out.

(Name) looks at him, there’s the note of familiarity in her eyes as she looks at him with the same sparkle when they were highschool students but so much different now that they’ve grown matured and he feels his breath hitched when he felt her eyes looking every inch of his body. He freezed up when he heard (Name)’s snort, letting him know a teasing comment was about to brought up.

“Look at you with your silly little suit, you finally made it, huh? What’s your next plan? Forcing our old players on highschool to play together?” (Name) teased and Kuroo lets out a laugh, he genuinely didn’t know if it was a laugh of relief but he knows that he’s happy to see her again. “This is the first time we saw eachother and the first thing you do is wound my heart?” Letting out a playful gasp, she turned her head and pout. “You wound mine first!”

“Oh come on, that’s not fair.” Kuroo pouted but it soon fall to a soft smile when she lets out a laugh, he hasn’t heard that laugh for years and he didn’t know he deserves to hear it again, but some God probably blessed him and he’s thankful every second that passes by. “I’m kidding you rooster, I missed you.” He felt oddly comforted by those words.

“I know you do.”

“… I’m so glad you broke up with me.” She said, giving him a rose of a brow and a teasing smile.

“(Name)! I’m kidding! I missed you too!” He opens his arms for a hug and (Name) entertained him, wrapping her arms around his body and he squeezed the life out of her, making her squeal, slapping his back lightly. “You’re gonna kill me!”

Kuroo, hates to admit it, but he missed this feeling, the warmth of her embrace that made him relax and that made his heart race just like back then, before he could even relish this moment, she quickly pulled away and flashed a wide smile, the same smile when he asked her to be his girlfriend. “I’m so glad I saw you. Because look!” She showed the diamond ring resting on her ring finger. “Kiyoomi proposed to me!”

There it is… that familiar look on her eyes, the same one she used to give Kuroo back then. So full of love and adoration.

“ah right.” Kuroo thought and a small smile appeared on his lips. He remembers the stories, that Sakusa Kiyoomi was the one who mended her broken heart, that they had the most unusual love story (just like them) that took place back then in college, and the one who’s now making her happy and love.

Kuroo Tetsurou used to be (Name) special someone.

But now, it’s Sakusa Kiyoomi that completes (Name).

It was years ago, he moved on, (Name) moved on, but it feels bitter for Kuroo because he missed her so much but when he saw her happy, finally living the life she has always wanted, made him happy.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt but he could only blame himself. Ignoring the tight feeling in his chest, he smiled like how (Name) smiled at him when he broke up with her.

“Am I invited to the wedding?”

And she happily replied; “of course!”

[missluckycharms]

Could you do a smut at anne's house(harry's mum's house)????

Three Taps.

Summary: in which Y/N has to sneak into Harrys house at night to be alone with him and Harry loves hot chocolate with pink marshmallows.

A/N: this is a high school Harry x Y/N fic, both are eighteen in this, just keep that in mind as they are in high school but they’re of age.

Masterlist.

Warnings: Dom!Harry, oral sex, praise kink, size kink, gagging, dirty talk, Harry tends to be a sarcastic asshole even when they’re doing the devils tango.

Word count: 3.4K

—

Three taps.

Thats what Harry told Y/N to do, tap three times on his bedroom window and he’d let her in. It’s been their code every few nights when she would sneak over to his house, or he would sneak into hers. Sure, they’re both eighteen, but as all parents say “my house, my rules” so they have to abide by that, kind of.

The pair have only been dating for a little over six months now, both of them graduating soon and moving away for college, but they’ll work around that when the time comes, for now, they have have to work around how Harry can fuck his girlfriend just the way they like, without his Mum waking up and finding them both in bed together, that wouldn’t be a pretty picture Harry thinks.

He’s on red alert, Y/N texting him nearly ten minutes ago saying she successfully snuck out and is now on her way over, the walk to his house is usually fifteen minutes, but she doesn’t mind, she’ll do anything to spend time with Harry — the same Harry who would fold someone up like a pretzel and shove them in a locker if they called him a name, but if Y/N did it, she would get a small smirk and a wink, knowing exactly what hers and only hers punishment was for that.

Harry is a complicated person, to his friends he’s nice - ish, to strangers he looks cold and like he would use you as his skateboard face down on the tarmac if you looked at him wrong, sure he would do that — but he’s not like that under all his rough exterior, he has a warm heart and loves squishy cuddles, and he also loves marshmallows in his hot chocolate, but only Y/N sees that side of him — he only allows her and his Mum to see that side of him. It took him a long time to actually soften up to her, the girl being persistent that she knew what he was really like, he’d shrug and laugh it off saying she was crazy, but when him and his Mum got into an argument and he showed up to Y/N’s house at nearly two in the morning, soaking from the rain and his cheeks tear stained — she knew he finally let down all his walls, he needed her and she gave him what he needed in that time, a hug and a mug of hot chocolate with pink only pink! Marshmallows.

Ever since he opened up to her that night, sipped on her heavenly made hot chocolate, he knew that he could always be safe with her, he would always know that she’s there when he needs her most and visa versa. They’re deemed the “odd couple” in school due to Harry being so cold and Y/N being the slightly quiet and lovable girl who would rather hug someone to death than shove them in a locker and leave them there, but somehow their differences only draw them together and make them one of the best couples there is, they balance one another out — Harry brings out Y/N’s crazy and adventurous side while Y/N brings out Harrys soft and calm side, opposites attract, and they’re living proof of it happening.

He jumps when the small three taps are heard at his window, his body immediately kneeling up and pulling across his curtains, looking down at her stood in his front garden with a hand full of small pebbles from his Mums flower garden (she always returns them) she’s smiling up at him, his own body on his bed right next to his window as he peers down at her, clad in his red baggy hoodie and her black leggings, her hair poking out from the hood of the hoodie as she waits for him to open the window.

“Ladder is by the gate baby” he whispers loudly down to her, she barely hears as she nods, making her way towards the back gate leading to their garden. She grabs it, making sure to not fall or it will wake his Mum up. Harry is practically hanging out the window when she rests the ladder against the wall, looking up at him as she wipes her forehead ridding the sweat.

“Sometimes, I think you only do this so I’ll get off my ass and actually work out” she grumbles falling in through his window and onto his bed, his laugh low as he pulls her jelly like body in, her laughs coming out as pants as he rests her down onto his pillow before shutting his window quietly, his ears on high alert for any movements from his Mums room across the hall.

“You’re just a lazy bum, sometimes I think you may pass out if you walk too much” he jokes looking down at her as she rolls her eyes, pulling down the hood and freeing her hair.

“I hate you. Fuck me, is your heating on?!” She says pulling his hoodie from her body, throwing it onto the floor and leaving her in only a sports bra and leggings, Harrys eyes widening at how easily she slipped it off and laid back down with no care in the world.

“Mum likes to keep it on, apparently her toes get cold in the night no matter what time of year it is” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to hover over her, forearms on either side of her head as she bites her lip smiling up at him giddily.

“No wonder you sleep naked, feels like a furnace” she jokes as Harry hums kissing her neck, her eyes rolling back at the feeling as she wraps her legs around his waist, their crotches grinding down on one another’s as they breath heavily trying to avoid moaning loudly — they both found out they love being vocal in bed, one day Harry was home alone and him and Y/N practically screamed down the house, he’s surprised Mrs Walker next door didn’t ring the police.

“Need to be quiet for me baby, okay?” He says whispering in her ear, her breathy moans being masked by his neck, her lips all over him as he rolls his head back, allowing her more access as she bites and nips at his skin, leaving behind marks that he’ll have to steal some of his Mums makeup to mask over when he’s walking around.

“Should be saying that to you, mister loud mouth” she jokes in a whisper by his ear, her lips sucking on his lobe is what causes him to bury his head in her neck to groan lowly from his chest, his hips rutting down into hers as they both roam one another’s bodies with their lips and hands.

“Very smart mouth for a girl who prefers it to be stuffed full of m’cock” he moans back, her lips now sucking and licking over his sweet spot just under his ear lobe, her own moan muffled by his skin as he shuts his eyes and looks up to the ceiling allowing her to kiss him further, her lips leaving a burning trail down his neck and over his collar bones — his favourite place to give and receive hickies on.

“Harry, shut up and just do something” she says annoyed, frustrated at her boyfriend who always choose to tease her with sarcastic remarks, he knows it riles her up and he loves that, he loves how needy and angry she gets when he grinds his clothed cock down onto her making sarcastic remarks and softly degrading her slowly as she grows wetter and wetter at his movements and words.

“Don’t have to ask me twice baby” he laughs kissing down her torso, his hands immediately shrugging off her bra with her help, and then he slowly pulls down her leggings along with her panties, leaving kisses on the spaces he makes bare and small hushed complements against her skin as he takes her all in under the light of his ten year old soccer ball shaped light hanging from the ceiling above them.

She’s a squirming mess under him, his lips instantly attaching to her clit as she bends her legs, resting her legs over his shoulders as he holds onto her outer thighs, the grip probably marking her skin as he devours her on his bed, his eyes looking up at her biting down on her lip, her hands grabbing a pillow and shoving it over her face to muffle her moans, Harry can hear them slightly, his eyes rolling back into his head as she shakes and squeezes her legs around his head.

“Come on baby, need to see you” he says slipping two fingers into her but not moving, the pillow coming away from her face as she looks at him in her usual fucked out state, glassy eyes and messed up hair.

“H, I can’t, I need to have it over me” she says referring to the pillow, her body shaking as Harry begins to slowly move his fingers in and out of her, stretching her as she drips down his fingers, the sound of his movements in her cunt causing him to press down his hips onto his bed to relieve himself a little.

“Put y’pretty panties in y’mouth baby” he says slurred from pleasure, his own hair a curly mess as his lips become more swollen and spit covered from how harsh he’s eating her out. He takes her panties in one hand, reaching up and rolling them into her mouth, instructing her to bite down on the white lace fabric before he’s back between her legs eating her out.

She’s moaning around the fabric of her panties, her drool wetting the lace as she tugs on Harry’s curls, his moans deep and raspy in her cunt as he keeps his eyes on hers that are threatening to close every second, the slaps he sends to her thighs cause her to open them back up and keep contact with him, his smile devious as he purposely sucks on her clit when she’s close, knowing it ruins her when he does that — he loves to watch her struggle to bite back her moans, the pair of them feeling the rush of nearly being caught everytime one of them make a loud moan or move too quickly which causes his headboard to slap a little off the wall behind it. He’s lapping up all her juices and her moans she’s muffling, her body shaking as he finally brings her to her first high of the night, his fingers not stopping as he rides her through it, kisses being placed to her thighs as she finally calms down, tears brimming her eyes and a lazy smile around her panties that are clutched between her teeth.

“Doing okay baby? Need me to take these out?” He asks crawling back up her body her hands immediately tangling back in his hair as she nods, letting him pull the soaked panties from her mouth, his mouth drooling at the sight of them in his hands.

“Gonna be able to take my cock without being gagged? Or will ya need to have your pretty lace panties back between your teeth?” He teases her, her eyes hooded with pleasure as she scratches her nails down his chest and stomach making the muscles under his skin flex with the slight burn of the marks she’s leaving behind.

“Want you to ruin me, may need them back in between my teeth” she says breathlessly, a slight smirk on her lips as he groans at her words, grabbing the panties and placing them in his own mouth, bending down and feeding them into her mouth, her own teeth clasping them as they leave his mouth, his tongue licking over her lips as she looks up at him with her glassy doe eyes.

[dearestjake]

Bye my first – Lee Jeno

Pairing: roommate/boyfriend! jaemin x reader x roommate/best friend! jeno

Genre: Fluff/Angst/College AU

Trigger Warning: swearing/unplanned pregnancy

Word count: 6.2k

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AUTUMN

“Hey,” You mumbled, looking at your reflection in the mirror as you held on to the pregnancy test in your hands – the two red lines evident in the tiny space in the middle of the said stick, indicating that you are pregnant and carrying your boyfriend’s child. You were practicing your lines, looking for the right words to say when you face your boyfriend but to no avail, you couldn’t find the right words to say; your mouth runs dry and you stutter at almost every word that escapes your mouth.

“Fuck this.” You muttered under your breath as you heaved a sigh, heading outside your bathroom and making a beeline towards your apartment’s balcony, letting the autumn wind brush through your hair as you sat down, admiring the sunset.

“Long day?” Jeno, asked as he sat down beside you, handing you one of the cans of cold beer he had brought for the two of you.

“Yeah.” You sighed, taking the beer he offered you and placing it down beside you.

“What’s up?” He asked, taking a sip from his beer.

“I’m pregnant.”

He stops for a moment, putting his beer down, averting his gaze from the setting sun to face you, his lips forming into a thin line.

Sighing, he scoots closer towards you, patting your back softly as he picked up his beer and taking a sip from it.

“Yep. Saw that coming, are you going to tell him?”

“Yeah… But I don’t really know how.” You sighed, resting your head on your best friend’s shoulder.

“You can just tell him like how you told me, y’know.”

“It’s not that easy.” You sighed.

“I know, but you have to tell him. It’s his responsibility – You’re his responsibility.”

“What if he doesn’t want it? You know he’s aiming for med school.”

“Then I’ll take care of it. I’m your best friend. I’ll always be here for you.”

“Psssh. Thought you wanted to be an engineer? Didn’t think you’d want to be a dad.” You said, giving him a weird look.

“Yeah. I do, I want to be an engineer. I’m just saying that if he doesn’t want the kid, we can raise it together like how our moms raised the both of us. I mean, it’s not like you can kill a child that easily– unless if you want to get an abortion, then I support it.” Jeno said, shrugging as he took another sip from his beer.

“No, I can’t do that. I–” You sighed.

“You have to tell him. You don’t have to worry; I got your back.”

“You’re not going to beat the shit out of him, are you?”

“I know Jaemin’s my best bro, but you’re my best friend too. He can’t fuck your life up just like that.” Jeno sighed, pausing for a moment to take another sip. “And yeah, I’ll beat the shit out of him if he refuses to take responsibility.” Jeno said, making you chuckle a bit.

“I’ll tell him when he gets home. Promise you have my back?”

“I promise. Really.” Jeno said, giving you a soft, reassuring smile.

Sighing, Jeno stood up from his seat, patting your back before disappearing to his room, leaving you alone in the balcony as the sun sets before you. It was a pretty sight – it was beautiful, but seeing the sun set and the darkness devour the entire city scared you, for that meant that Jaemin will come home and into the front door any time soon. You sigh, hugging your knees as you watched the buildings and the streetlights light up and brighten up the dark night. You sat there, staying still for another ten minutes, staring at the lights from the buildings and streetlights that brightens up the dark night skies of Seoul. You were just about to get up and head to your room when you heard a door open and close, making your heart race at the thought that it could be Jaemin coming through the front door but it wasn’t; it was just Jeno coming out of his room to go to the kitchen.

“Y/N.” He called out from across the kitchen counter.

“Yeah?’ You replied, averting your gaze from the bright city lights to look at him as you stood up and brushed your clothes.

“I’m feeling kind of lazy and we’ve run out of stock. I thought maybe we could order some takeout. Do you want anything?” He asked, leaning over the kitchen counter.

“I don’t know. Anything edible would do, I guess.” You shrugged.

“Is Chinese good with you–” He asked, getting cut off mid-sentence by the sound of the front door opening.

It’s Jaemin. He’s home.

“Hey.” Jaemin greeted, kicking his shoes off at the doorway. “I bought dinner for the three of us. I hope the both of you are okay with Chinese food.” He said, smiling as he lifted up the plastic bag that contained the ever-so-greasy-but-very-delicious Chinese food that he brought home.

“Chinese food’s fine. We were just about to order takeout.” Jeno said, leaving you alone in the kitchen to take the bag of takeout from Jaemin’s hands – just so that Jaemin can take off his coat and hang it on the coat rack by the door and so that he can set the food up.

“Hi.” Jaemin greeted, giving you a quick peck on your left cheek.

“Hey.” You said, flashing a small smile.

“Are you okay? You look kinda pale.”

“I’m fine… but… uh… we have to talk– I mean, I have to tell you something.” You said, bringing a hand up to your forehead to massage your temples in hopes of stopping yourself from thinking about the random thoughts that crossed your mind.

“O-Okay. Yeah, for sure. What is it?” Jaemin said, a hint of concern? confusion? maybe fear too, evident in his tone, but still he tried his best to smile his usual bright smile.

It was obvious that he was scared. He didn’t know what was going on in your head. He was afraid you’d break up with him when he loved you like you were his own world. You were everything to him, you were the first thing in his list of important things and med school was the third right next to his family.

“I-uh… I think it would be best if we talked in private.” You said taking a quick glance at Jeno who stood by the kitchen sink, giving you a nod, reassuring you that everything will be fine.

“Yeah, sure. That’s cool.” Jaemin said, swallowing the imaginary lump in his throat as he loosened his tie.

Taking a deep breath, you sighed, signaling Jaemin to come follow you to your room. You held the door open for Jaemin, waiting for him to get in. Jaemin sat himself down on the corner of your bed as you closed the door behind you. With how you were acting, walking back and forth across the room, Jaemin, being the worrywart he is, was looking at you with a worried expression plastered on his face.

“Are you okay?” He asked, stopping you in your tracks and cutting your train of thoughts.

“Wha– Yes. I’m fine. It’s just that I don’t know how to tell you.” You said, biting the skin around your nails.

It was evident that you were nervous and Jaemin knew that because you only bit and picked at the skin surrounding your fingernails during times when you were nervous or scared, and he knew for sure that it was the former because he was sure that there was no reason for you to be afraid of him.

“Calm down. Sit beside me. Breathe.” He said, patting the vacant space beside him.

“I’m afraid.”

“Of what? If anything, I think I should be the one afraid because you pulled the “we need to talk” card on me. Who knows? I don’t know what goes on in your head, maybe you’re planning to break up with me.” He joked, trying to lighten up the mood.

“What? No!”

“That’s good then, I guess.” He said, chuckling a bit.

“So…” You started, taking a deep breath and heaving a sigh.

“Yeah? Tell me babe, it’ll be fine. I promise.” He said, smiling a small smile as he held your hand.

“I’m pregnant, Jaemin. It’s yours.” You said in a low voice, though still loud enough for him to hear.

“I–” Jaemin started, stopping himself to swallow the imaginary lump in his throat, evident that he was taken aback by the sudden news that you are carrying his child.

He couldn’t say anything; not because he didn’t want it, and not because he didn’t see it coming. He knew it was bound to happen, he just didn’t expect it to happen now, considering the fact that he used a condom when you did it. But hey, condoms aren’t a hundred percent effective, there’s still this slim possibility that one can get pregnant even with the use of a contraceptive – you just happened to be that one person.

“I mean, whom else would it be? You’re the only one I’ve slept with–” You said, rambling on and on, getting cut off by Jaemin giving you a quick kiss on your lips.

“You’re rambling again.” He said, cupping your cheeks with both of his hands as he looked deeply into your eyes.

“What do we do?” You asked, bringing your hand up to place on top of his, stroking the back of his hand with your thumb.

“Whatever you think is right for the both of us.” He said, smiling a small smile. “What options do you have? Did you consider getting an abortion? Did you consider keeping it? Did you consider putting it up for adoption? Whatever you do, I’ll stand by you.”

“I don’t want to kill it. I don’t want to give it away either because what if it ends up in an abusive household? I want to keep it, Jaemin, but I also don’t want to hold you back from med school. I mean, you’re only a year away from getting into med school. If you’re not cool with it, then I’ll raise it by myself. I mean, my mom raised me by herself and I turned out fine.”

“What?– No! Of course, I want to be part of my child’s life. I mean it.”

“But what about med school?”

“Med school isn’t going anywhere. I can go to med school later. I’ll look for a job as soon as I graduate. I’ll get my nursing license. That’s good enough for me, as long as I won’t lose you. You know that I love you, right?”

“You can’t just throw your life away for me, Jaemin.”

“I’m not throwing my life away, Y/N. Just think of it as starting a new chapter with you and our kid. Okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Jaemin, for deciding to not flake on me.”

“Of course. Why would I flake on you?” He said, chuckling a bit as he pulled you in for a hug. “Now let’s eat our dinner, shall we? I hate cold noodles.” He said, pulling you up from your seat and out of the room, towards the kitchen counter where Jeno was sat, enjoying his bowl of noodles.

“So, guess what?” Jaemin asked, smiling from ear to ear. His eyes were glistening with joy, and excitement, and positivity.

Yes, he smiles a lot. That’s a given. Jaemin is a happy person, but it’s only once in a blue moon that you see his eyes glisten with pure joy and excitement. Even though you’ve been friends with Jeno and him your whole life; growing up together, going to the same schools and university and all that jazz, you’ve only seen the same exact expression whenever he got a new toy that he wanted so very badly from his mom, when he’s about to try a new kind of food for the first time, and when he passed his nursing college exam. Seeing that made you happy, because that made you sure that he wouldn’t leave.

“What?” Jeno asked, not bothering to look at Jaemin. He was too focused on eating his noodles.

“I’m going to be a dad!” Jaemin said excitedly, smiling over at Jeno who stayed unfazed by the news, as he stirred the noodles that he got for you.

“Hmhm.” Jeno hummed, nodding as he took another mouthful of his food.

“You knew, didn’t you?” Jaemin asked, his excited smile turning into a bored expression.

“Hmhm.”

“You’re no fun. You could’ve at least acted surprised you know, even though it’s fake.” Jaemin said, pouting as he handed you the bowl of noodles that he had mixed for you. “Kinda bummed that you knew before I did.”

“Dude, I saw it coming even before she told me. She made me run to the drugstore mid-shower.”

“I did not.” You gasped, appalled.

“Yeah, you did.” Jeno said.

“Oh yeah, I did. Sorry about that. I panicked.”

“Who wouldn’t? It’s cool though. I understand, I’ve been through this–”

“What?” Both you and Jaemin exclaimed, cutting Jeno off.

“I know what you guys are thinking. No. I didn’t get anyone pregnant. I’ve never even had a girlfriend. It was for my sister.”

“What about that Yeeun girl? Didn’t you go to prom with her? I’ve always thought that she was your girlfriend because you guys were always together even though she was our senior.”

“Okay, first of all, she wasn’t my girlfriend. Second, even if she was, I would never sleep with her, because I was just seventeen back then. And third, yes. I did go to prom with her but just because the girl I wanted to go to prom with already had a date.”

“Who did you want to go to prom with?” You asked.

Jeno sighs, pushing his now empty bowl on the side so he could rest his arms on the counter. “Just this girl that I liked for a really long time.”

“Come on, tell us. Who was it?” Jaemin asked, taking a mouthful of his now cold noodles.

“Just… someone.” Jeno sighed, taking a quick glance at you before getting up from his seat, taking his bowl with him to the sink, washing it before he stormed off into his room.

It was you. He wanted to go to prom with you. Yeeun was just someone who liked him a lot and tried to force herself in his life; he just went to prom with her in hopes of making her stop following him everywhere he goes – which fortunately did happen, after he told her off while keeping as polite as he could. Thankfully though, Yeeun took it well, swallowed up her pride and did her best to understand Jeno’s situation and wished him luck. Yeeun was a good person; she was smart, kind, and she was a very nice person in general. In fact, he did like her, but only as a friend. It was you he liked the most. You were his person and he knew that. He wanted you to be his partner in crime, his other half, the moon to his stars, the peanut butter in his peanut butter and jelly sandwich, he wanted to give his whole life to you – it’s just that Jaemin beat him up to it and never got the chance to tell you how he truly felt about you.

Shutting the door behind him, Jeno flicked the light switch off, leaving his room illuminated by the dim LED lights on the sides of his ceiling. One second, it’s red, then blue, and purple, and green – it changed every second, very much like the emotions he felt when you told him you were pregnant. He wasn’t completely sure whether he should be happy that Jaemin decided to raise the kid with you or not. He knew that he wanted to be happy for you, he just couldn’t bring himself to do it a hundred percent; because to him, that meant that he had to say goodbye to you, his first love.

Sighing, Jeno swiveled his gaming chair towards his desk, flicking his desk lamp on as he grabbed a pen and his notepad.

“Love I only have you

When I said

I’ll put my life on the line

To prove you will be my last love was yesterday

It was a clumsy first love, love

I’m always by your side, next to you

I followed you around everywhere I might as well stick to you

I thought everything would work out if we did everything together…”

He hummed as he wrote along his notepad, tapping his pen every now and then whenever he had to think of the right words that would go well with the song he was trying to write. Like all of his other compositions, he wrote this one for you. Well, it’s not like he could tell you how he felt about you for the past ten years; you already had Jaemin and he knew very well that you loved your boyfriend a lot, so he writes songs – about you and how he felt about you.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WINTER

“Y/L/N. Is There a Y/N Y/L/N in here?” The nurse from the nurse’s station called out.

“Yep. That’s me!”

“Dr. Qian will see you now, please head to the ultrasound room.” The nurse said, placing her clipboard back down on her desk.

“Okay.” You muttered to yourself as you got up from your seat in the waiting room, slinging your bag over your shoulder as you made your way towards the ultrasound room.

“Hey, welcome back! How have you been feeling lately?” Kun, your gynecologist, greeted as soon as you went in.

“Hey, I’ve been good. Tummy’s starting to show up a bit, now that I’m in my twenty-first week.”

“Shall we get started?” He asked, leading you to the examination bed.

“Yeah, but can we wait for my companion? He went to the washroom.”

“Sure. But please, make yourself comfortable and let’s get you prepped up for the examination and then we’ll start when he gets back.” He said, smiling politely as he applied the warm gel across your stomach.

“Hey.” Jeno greeted as he silently went in the room, taking a seat at the seat beside you.

“Shall we start now?” Kun asked once again, earning a nod from you.

There it was, the tiny human being living inside you on the screen with its tiny hands and feet. It kind of looked like it was waving its hands “hello”, making you feel a sudden wave of emotions simultaneously, making you tear up a bit.

“Are you okay?” Jeno asked, holding your hand, smiling a small smile as he looked at you with concern plastered on his face.

“Yeah, just a bit emotional.” You said, wiping your tears with the back of your hand.

“Don’t cry ‘cause if you keep that up, I’ll end up crying too.” Jeno joked, making you chuckle a bit. “Look at it, it’s so cute and terrifying at the same time. I heard it has fingernails too.” He said, scooting his chair closer to you.

“They do. I mean, they do have fingernails.” Kun chimed in.

“Damn, I thought that was fake news.” Jeno said. “Did you hear that baby? You have fingernails! You better not scratch your way out your mom’s belly. That’d be bloody as heck.” Jeno said, moving closer to your belly, pretending to talk to the baby but much to your surprise the baby started kicking upon hearing Jeno’s remark, making the both of you laugh.

“The baby kicked! I guess the kid likes to joke around with its dad.” Kun said.

“Oh, I–I’m not the dad.” Jeno said, awkwardly scratching the nape of his neck as he leaned back on his chair.

“Oh.” Kun said with wide eyes as he cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. My mistake. Anyway, would you like to know the baby’s gender?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Yes, please.” You said, nodding.

“Well, your baby is a boy. He’s completely healthy; heart rate’s normal and all, so you don’t have to worry about anything.” He said, wiping off the gel from your abdomen. “I’ll see you again in four months.” Kun said with a smile as he handed you a clear photo of your ultrasound.

“Thanks Dr. Qian, I’ll see you soon.” You said as Jeno helped you get up from the examination bed.

The walk on the way to the bus stop was silent; it wasn’t awkward or anything, it was rather comfortable and it was silent just because you didn’t really have anything to say and neither did Jeno. The two of you just simply walked together with both of your hands stuffed in your own coat pockets, gripping at the now cold disposable hand warmers that Jeno had gotten the both of you earlier before you went to the doctor.

You let out a soft sigh, bringing your hands up to your mouth, breathing into them in attempt to warm them up a little bit, but to no avail, it didn’t really do anything.

“You good?” Jeno asked for what seemed like the nth time, looking at you with concern.

“Yeah.” You said, letting out a sigh, shivering when the cold wind hit your skin.

“Give me your hands. You can have my hand warmers, they’re still a bit warm.” He said, giving you his hand warmers. “Do you feel better now?” He asked.

“Yeah, but you didn’t have to give me your hand warmers though.”

“You need it more than I do, so I want you to have it. Wear this too, your scarf’s too thin, your neck’s gonna get cold." He said, smiling a bit as he wrapped his thick scarf around your neck. “You have to take good care of yourself. You know, you have to keep yourself healthy, for the baby and all.”

“Thanks, Jeno.”

“It’s all good. You don’t have to thank me.”

“Still, I want to thank you. For always being there.” You said, smiling over at Jeno.

He didn’t really say anything, instead, he slung his arm around your shoulders as he smiled, pulling you closer to him and taking your bag to carry it himself. Afterall, looking after you and being there for you was the least that he could do as your best friend. As usual, just like what the two of you used to do when you were in high school, the both of you sat at the back of the bus, you on the seat by the window, and Jeno on his spot by the aisle. As for Jaemin, he would either stand and use the hand rails, or sit on the seat next to yours; and just like now, it was always Jeno by your side.

You were greeted by the warmth of your apartment when you opened the door; the lights were off, it was quiet – the only thing that could be heard was the jingling of your house keys and your faint breathing.

“Do you want me to start the fire?” Jeno asked, tossing his keys to the kitchen counter.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to if you don’t feel like it. It’s a lot of work anyway.” You shrugged, plopping yourself on the couch.

“Nah, I’ll get the fire started in a bit. Just give me a minute to get out of these clothes. I’ll change into something more comfortable. You should get changed too, though it’s much better if you took a warm bath to remove the gel from earlier. I’ll get the hot water running.”

“Thanks, Jeno.”

“It’s no big deal.” He said, smiling a small smile before disappearing into the bathroom.

It wasn’t that long before Jeno came back to the living room in a fresh pair of sweatpants and his favourite blue hoodie with his guitar strapped around his torso.

“Hot water’s ready, you should take a bath. I’ll get the fire started.” He said, sitting next to the fireplace, setting the firewood and lighting it on fire.

You nodded, flashing Jeno a small smile, hugging him from behind.

It’s just a hug; it wasn’t much but it made his heart jump – the butterflies in his stomach, went into some type of frenzy as if they’ve been released for the first time after being locked up in a lepidopterarium for a very long time. He felt the same feelings he felt when you were both seventeen, when you kissed him on the swings of the local playground after you ran away from Mark’s 18th birthday party. He remembers it like it was yesterday; Afterall, it was his first kiss – you were his first kiss, and he was yours too, you were just too drunk to remember that because you’ve had a few drinks that night.

“I–I think you should take a bath now.” Jeno said, clearing his throat as he slowly removed your arms around his waist.

With that, Jeno sighed as he placed the matchbox on top of the fireplace, watching you walk on the way to the bathroom. Plopping himself on the couch, Jeno cleared his throat as he picked up his guitar on the floor, placing it on his lap, making it a table for his notepad as he wrote lyrics for his song that he never got to finish.

“Ooh I know everything everyone else knows…now that I am not young… I told you to trust me, Love doesn’t end with experiences. I don’t think I’ll get over it...” He hummed, biting his pen before scribbling the lyrics onto his notepad.

“I think that sounds… okay?” He muttered to himself, scratching his head as he adjusted his glasses. “I guess I’ll have to try playing it. That’s the only way I can find out.” He said, sighing as he placed his notepad aside, clearing his throat as he started stumming his guitar.

“Fuck this.” He muttered to himself, annoyed. “Why is it that I can’t find the motivation to finish this fucking song?” He said, grunting as he covered his face with his notepad.

“Maybe it’s because you lack inspiration? Maybe you need to go somewhere to find inspiration?” You said, lifting his notepad off of his face.

“What? – No!” Jeno exclaimed, eyes shooting open as soon as he heard your voice, snatching his notepad from your hands.

“Hey!”

“No. You can’t read the lyrics.” He said, hugging his notepad tightly.

“Why? You always let me read it.”

“Not today. It’s not yet done.” He said. He wasn’t lying, but he wasn’t being completely honest as to why he didn’t want you to read it either – he was afraid that it was too obvious that the song was about you.

“Okay, chill. I won’t read it if that’s what you want.”

“Thank you.”

“Instead, can you play something? I heard it’s good to make the baby listen to music.”

“Sure.” He said, strumming his guitar, playing a familiar tune.

You knew what he was playing. It was all too familiar; you just couldn’t put your finger on it. You knew what it was but you weren’t sure where you heard it. Not until he started singing the lyrics.

“Come with me, my love

To the sea. The sea of love.

I want to tell you, how much I love you…”

It was the song that his mom always sang to the three of you when you were kids; the song that always put you to sleep, the song that comforted you whenever you were sad. It was the song that Jeno always played for you on his guitar when you were in high school. It’s been a while since he sang this song.

“How could I forget that?” You thought to yourself, shaking your head lightly before humming along to Jeno’s singing.

For the second time, Jeno repeated the same lyrics he sang earlier, only this time, he looked at you dearly as he sang the words “I love you”. You didn’t think too much about it, he always did that every time he sang this song for you and you always thought that it was nothing. Afterall, you’re already in a relationship with Jaemin. Though it didn’t mean anything to you, for Jeno, it meant a lot because that’s the only way he could tell you how much he loved you without you noticing it.

It’s selfish of him to love you while you’re in a relationship with his best friend. He knew that; but he also knew that he loved you first, it just so happened that Jaemin asked you out first. It just so happened that his timing was off and all he can do now is to look after you from afar, love you in secret, take good care of you as his best friend, and be there for you in your happiest moments even though it hurt him deeply. He knows it’s selfish to hang around you, but he just finds it hard to let you go even though he wants to wish you the best. He’s happy to see you happy but it hurts him to see you happy with another person when you were happier with him before you and Jaemin got together.

“Jeno! He kicked! The baby kicked.” You said excitedly, pulling Jeno’s hand and placing it on top of your baby bump. “Feel it.”

“I don’t feel anything–” Jeno shrugged, getting cut off mid-sentence by the baby kicking. “Oh, shit!” Jeno said excitedly, chuckling a little bit.

“I guess he likes the song too.”

“Maybe he does?” He shrugged. “You like it, don’t you?” He asked, moving closer to your belly as he talked to the baby, earning another kick.

“Woah, I guess he really does like it. He’s quite a kicker though.” You said, laughing a bit.

“Well, I’m glad to know that I have a fan.”

“Hey! I was your first fan–” You said, punching Jeno’s arm playfully, getting cut off by the sound of the front door opening and closing. “Jaemin!” You exclaimed, jumping up from your seat, running towards Jaemin, leaving Jeno alone in the couch.

“How was your appointment?” He asked, kicking his shoes to the side of the doorway as he gave you a quick peck on your lips.

“It was fine, Jeno helped me carry my bag so it wasn’t hard going there and getting home.” You shrugged, resting your hands on your waist. “Oh! And I have something for you.” You exclaimed, running to the living room, fishing through your bag for the picture of your ultrasound.

“Here.” You said, handing Jaemin the photo.

“Wow.” He smiled, tracing the outline of his son’s tiny hand with his index finger. “Did your doctor tell you the gender?”

“Yeah. It’s a boy. We’re having a boy, Jaemin.” You said, excitement evident in your tone.

“That’s amazing!” Jaemin said excitedly, wrapping you in a tight hug as he smiled excitedly.

Jeno couldn’t do anything but sigh as he sat alone in the couch, watching you share your news to your boyfriend. He was hurt because of the fact that he couldn’t stop himself from thinking that he could’ve been the one to celebrate this news with you if only he didn’t hold himself back from telling you how he felt back then – but then again, what’s done is done. He can’t bring back the past, the only thing he can do now is to be happy for you, so he gathered his things and went to his room. Putting his guitar aside next to his full body mirror, Jeno walked towards his computer, plugging in the speakers that he got from his sister on his birthday last year, playing his playlist before plopping himself on his bed, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stickers on his ceiling before eventually falling asleep.

It was already two in the afternoon when he woke up the next day; it’s not like it mattered though, besides, it was a Sunday and he didn’t have any classes.

“Jeno?” Jaemin called out from the other side of the door.

“Yeah?” He replied, groggily rubbing his eye with the back of his hand as he turned off his music that had been playing since the night before.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, just give me a minute.” Jeno said, ridding of his hoodie as he changed into his oversized batch shirt. “Come in.” He said, opening the door for Jaemin.

“Can I talk to you?” Jaemin asked.

“Sure. About what?”

“About this.” Jaemin said, fishing a small velvet box from the pocket of his sweatpants. “What do you think? Do you think she’ll like it?” He asked, revealing a silver ring with tiny diamonds surrounding it upon opening the box.

“W–Wow.” Jeno gasped, speechless. “I guess this is the end.” He thought to himself. Clearing his throat, he answered, “Yeah… I think she’ll love it.” He said, flashing Jaemin a reassuring smile.

“Glad that you think so.” Jaemin said, letting out a relieved sigh as he closed the box and slid it back into his pocket. “I have a favor though.”

“What is it?”

“Can you drive Y/N to the local amusement park at four o’clock?” Jaemin asked, looking at Jeno as he fidgeted with his fingers.

“Yeah, for sure. Four o’ clock. Yeah, got it.”

“Thanks, Jeno. Take her to the middle of the amusement park, okay? Right by the gazebo.”

“Got it.” Jeno smiled, letting out a sigh as soon as Jaemin left his room.

“Fuck.” He sighed to himself as he brought his hands up to his face, rubbing his temples as he looked at the floor beneath his feet.

As much as it hurt him, it’s not like he can do anything about it so even though he hated the idea of it, the only thing he can do is to do what was right to make you happy – that being, driving you to the amusement park two hours from now and watch you get engaged to the father of your child. For this he knew that he had to get ready, physically, emotionally, and mentally. Physically – he needed to take a shower and change into new clothes, wear a coat, look nice for one of the happiest moments of your life; mentally - he needed to accept that it’s the end for his unrequited love for you; and emotionally – he needed to stop whatever it is that he feels about you and just be happy for you. With that in his plate, he dragged himself to the bathroom to take a shower, slid on a pair of jeans, a hoodie, and the coat that you got him for Christmas last year.

“Hey, Jaemin told me to bring this to him in the hospital, can you drop me off?” You said, swinging Jeno’s door open.

“I was just about to tell you to get dressed because Jaemin asked me to drop you off.”

“Oh. Let’s go, then.” You said, leading the way out of your front door with Jeno following you from behind.

The drive on the way to the amusement park was silent, it wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable – just like how it always was. The only thing that could be heard was the faint sound of the wipers on the windshield, the faint sound of your breathing, and the sound of the hot air coming out of the heater.

“This isn’t the way to the hospital.” You said, watching the buildings pass by.

“Just trust me on this one.” Jeno said, making a u-turn towards the entrance of the local amusement park.

“Jeno, what are we doing here?” You asked as Jeno stopped to park the car in an empty parking slot.

“Just trust me.” He said, hopping out of the car and holding the door open for you. “Follow me.” He said, holding your hand as he leads the way to the center of the park.

“Jeno, stop. I have to bring Jaemin’s medical kit to the hospital–” You said, getting cut off mid-sentence my Jaemin calling out your name.

“Jaemin? What are you doing here?”

“I asked Jeno to drive you here, don’t worry.”

“I thought you were at the hospital. What are you doing here?”

“I just thought that…” He said, pausing for a moment as he got on one knee, fishing the same velvet box he showed Jeno earlier in the pocket of his slacks.

“Jaemin…” You gasped covering your face, knowing fully well what he’s doing.

“Y/N Y/L/N, you know that I love you, right?” He asked as you got teary-eyed, making him chuckle. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes.” You said, nodding excitedly, earning loud cheers from the people that gathered around to witness Jaemin’s grand proposal.

This was it. The end. This is the end for Jeno’s feelings for you and he knew it.

“I hope you’re happy. I’ll love you, forever and always, remember that. Goodbye, my first.” Jeno said silently to himself as he walked silently back to his car.

[acorn-field]

[WIP] Personal assumptions on Rooster's career being set back 4 years

Look, I'm an ovethinker and this probably is digging more than he movie would expect you to. But I can't just accept "Rooster blaming Maverick for 4 years set back in his career" as lazy Hollywood movie setup. Relationship between Maverick and Rooster was the one of the most important part of TGM aside from the real jet movie scenes, and I dont think they would have said "yeah let's just say Roosters career was fucked about 4 years because of Maverick. That would make sense"

This has been bothering me for a while. How come Maverick pulling Rooster's application for naval academy could set his career back 4 years? I'm going to start listing some facts/info, then will list my assumptions. Just FYI I have never served and not close to anyone who served in Navy, so anything Navy related i list here have high chance of error/misunderstanding. Also there are outdated info i can't really find on Google (ex UVA Political science bachelor's degree graduation requirements in 2009). So any corrections and suggestions are always welcome!!!

--

Facts/Info

Followings are given/strongly implied from the movies:

- Goose graduated Naval Academy

- Maverick were rejected admission to Naval Academy due to the death of his father

- Maverick went to OCS to become naval aviator

Following info is from rooster's personal file shown in the TGM :

- Rooster was born 84 06 27

- Rooster graduated UVA on 09

- Rooster enlisted on 050413 and served as Hull Maintenance Tech for 4 years and 1 month (090513~), then his next service entry starts on 090522 which continues to the date his file was prepared.

Followings are related info from "actual" world, which might be different than TG universe:

- naval academy application deadline is January 31st

- you have to be at least 17 by July 1st of that year to apply (since roosters birthday is on 86 06 27, earliest year he could have applied would be 2001)

- you can reapply for naval academy after not being appointed

- UVA 09 graduation was on 09 05 16-17, and last day of school is in early May

- UVA admissions deadlines are in November-January

- After completing 13-week course candidates are commissioned as active duty ensigns (O-1) in the United States Navy

---

Assumptions

- Rooster wanted to get admitted to Naval Academy just like his dad.

- there were faster ways for him to become naval aviator which he did not take

- Rooster possibly first applied to the academy 2001 January, again in 2002 January, again in 2003 January, then lastly in 2004 January.

- Rooster until the last year of rejection did not know why he was getting rejected admission. This would explain he thinks maverick was standing his way of getting into Naval Academy for 4 years if he kept applying for it year after year without knowing why.

- Rooster possibly was not in touch with Maverick around those years, based on the fact that he asked why Maverick was 'standing in his way' when they met in the TGM movie timeline.

- Rooster was possibly admitted to UVA on 2004(if he applied UVA and naval academy during same admission period) or 2005, and graduated on 2009

- Possibly UVA offered an online degree in 04/05 (Not in real life, but in TG Universe?) which would have allowed Rooster to get the degree while serving as HT.

- After graduating UVA in 2009 May, Rooster gets reenlisted as officer (09 05 22)

- Rooster's 25th birthday (1 year older than his deceased dad) was 1 month after he got reenlisted.

- Roosters OCS training program started on 11 02 20 and completed on 11 05 22 & commissioned as Ensign

---

Resources

- Naval Aviation OCS Requirements

-U.S. Navy Fighter Pilot Careers

-U.S. Navy Hull Maintenance Tech

-2009 UVA graduation archive