#i thought of this a while ago

[shadowsageingempress]

“I got sunburned.”

- basic and unremarkable

- people will think you’re an idiot

- reminds you that you should have reapplied

“I was grievously wounded from exposure to the light.”

- striking and unique

- people will think you narrowly avoided death

- reminds you of Twilight Princess

[soymimikyu]

Are there any cats in the main Asoue series? Im not counting the big cats — lions. The internet tells me that there are cats in atwq— but I haven’t read those yet. Furthermore there is a quote mentioning not putting cats in ones mouth, so cats are known but absent? Why…

[justcallmesolll]

Silly little Greystar AU i made a while ago but i wish to share it here :33

Yeen rambles #8

ok so grey is friends with fire in this au, Redtail is grey's mentor. Red gets killed, grey is sad, but he moves on. then Lionheart dies and grey is very sad about this, somehow tho, he is able to pick himself up again. THEN HE ACCIDENTALLY KILLS WHITECLAW and he blames himself. he can't possibly recover from this, and hes kinda just there as a depressed blob. fire is sympathetic to his friend, but he reminds grey that this has happened before and he can still do stuff to help the clan out. grey does so reluctantly and then meets Silverstream and that kinda makes him so much happier. he helps out a little more around the clan while also hunting for silver, etc. he becomes much friendlier and sociable. him and fire have their argument, and they fall out and they stop talking for a while. in this period, Silverstream dies and grey is absolutely destroyed. he ignores almost everyone ESPECIALLY fireheart since fire isn't exactly sympathetic towards him since he told Grey it was a bad idea to be seeing silver so greystripe hates him for that. he decides to keep his kits in tc, starting things up with rc. he's particularly nasty to fire for getting away with things that grey would never. he says that bluestar was picking favourites, and actually becomes friends with Longtail. He does the little things, like snitch on fire for meeting with princess, etc. when cloudkit was accepted into the clan, greystripe is fuming. his kits were belittled and everyone resented him for it but cloudkit gets it easyy and everyones ok when fireheart does it?? hes also mad about the fact that fire tells bluestar when his own apprentice was ready to become a warrior.

when the whole thing with tigerclaw being exiled happens, fire is made deputy and grey is beyond pissed. so when cloudtail gets his name and the other apprentices dont, since grey is very close with longtail, he's understandably mad. so HE organises the thing with brightpaw, longtail and swiftpaw. with longs permission ofc, they all go to fight the dogs, but realise that they're severely outnumbered. grey and longtail manage to climb a tree in time but swiftpaw and brightpaw go for the same tree, leaving bright to the dogs. immediately, greystripe and longtail try to help, they all survive, but bright is scarred the same, longtail loses his tail (get it im so funny) swiftpaw has horrible scars on his flank, and is missing some of his ear, and greystripe has scars around his muzzle and a long one on his back. they returned to camp where they were treated in the medicine den. fireheart insists the apps be given warrior names since their injuries were the worse and they were pretty sure they both weren't gonna make it. so bluestar gives bright paw the name lost face and swiftpaw the name stolenpelt. AND after grey and long have healed, she changes their names too. greystripe is now scarredstripe, and longtail is stubtail (we love our ablist qween bluestar!!!!) undertandably, grey and long are super pissed. grey fights fire over this, telling him to knock some sense into bluestar and change their names. fire says he cant do anything but grey doesnt belive him and is super annoyed. scarredstripe and stubtail now, really push for lostface and stolenpelt to become full warriors, not left to rot in the elders den. scarredstripe takes lostface to train with instead of cloudtail, because he resents cloud for being firehearts kin, and being literally the reason they are all horribly scarred.

so bluestar still has that thing going on with rc since grey decided to keep his kits in tc, which are now apps, featherpaw is mentored by fireheart, which grey hates. stormpaw is mentored by whitestorm. (He menored two at a time cuz y not) bluestar is convinced that it was a rc patrol that attacked them, so she planns the ambush on rc instead of wc. fireheart goes and tells them about the ambush, and how he wants peace, etc. but is CAUGHT by scarredstripe fire however, is unaware of this. so scarred goes straight to bluestar and snitches on fireheart. blue is obviously pissed bc she has her whole "everyone is a traitor" thing going on. she says shes still gonna ambush rc at fourtrees, fire doesnt know this tho, he thinks his plan is still working. so when ravenpaw comes to deliver the message, blue says she'll think about it (jk!!!! she's lying!!!!!) she brings a hefty amount of warriors to fourtrees and as soon as she arrives she orders everyone to attack. fireheart is extremely distraught about this and tells bluestar to think about their offer. bluestar snaps at him and says she knows he planned this meeting with rc. everyone is fighting, lostface and stolenpelt included since grey insisted that they could hold themselves in battle. instead the scene that bluestar has in the border skirmish happens now, but its scarredstripe who breaks up misty, stone and bluestar. hes about to fight them off, but fireheart steps in and tells them how bluestar is their mother. IN FRONT OF FUCKING EVERYONE. so anyways now literally all of rc and tc know. the battle was gonna escalate horribly but all of a sudden rc retreats. tc think they have won but NOPE. they retreated bc the dogs came and crashed the party. tc scrambles back to their clan immediately, where fire is demoted as deputy for tellin rc about the ambush and actually making things worse. she says that scarredstripe was right about a lot of things. lostface and stolenpelt can fight as warriors, dogs attacked him and stubtail, not an rc patrol like she thought, (even tho fire already said they were dogs she dont care) and she admits that fireheart did get special treatment, bc she trusted him, but she says that he cant just waltz around doing whatever he wants. SO THEN SHE MAKES SCARREDSTRIPE THE DEPUTY. now that he's deputy, he orders multiple patrols to go out and scan the territory. the scene where fireheart find the prey trail happens, and he goes to tell bluestar about it but scarred is liek "nuh uh gotta tell me buddy" so fire tells him his whole theory about how darkstripe told tigerstar aboout the rc battle and thats when he made the trail. so scarredstripe tells bluestar, but obviously takes all the credit. (absolute goofer) so bluestars like "what r we gonna do then?" and fire pushes himself in and tells her about his plan to lure the dogs off the gorge. so blue is like "ok if ur plan works u can be deputy again." so the same thing happens as it does in the books, fire jumps to save her bc he wants her to survive, (SPOILER ALERT: SHE DOESNT!!!!) so fire carries her body back to camp with misty and stone. since grey is lead now, he firstly exiles darkstripe for all he did yk. he also changes lostface, stolenpelt and stubtail's names to brightheart, swiftclaw, and longleap. silly cant change his name tho since hes literally leader L. he also makes longleap the deputy, god knows he deserves it. so he goes to the moonstone with cinderpelt and gets his silly little lives from bluestar, redtail, lionheart, whiteclaw, oakheart, yellowfang, spottedleaf, brindleface and silverstream so that whole thing happens.

wow that was long. this is literally only part one, and coming from someone who has only read the first arc, ill add more to it but this is the basic premise of it. oh also longleap and scarredstripe r mates bc i said so yea.

[annabelle--cane]

my high school chorus teacher had a class rule that's stuck with me where if you knew you couldn't emotionally handle getting rejected for a solo then you shouldn't audition for it in the first place. the same principle applies to sex, if you can't handle hearing "no" then absolutely do not ask.

[howellfag]

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “public transit” 😳💊 you’ll be going wherever you want for an affordable price 💯👨‍💻

me: yeah whatever i dont feel shit

5 min later: dude i swear the bus should have been here by now

random guy at the bus stop with me: the transit app is lying to us

[zephyrchama]

Demon brothers weaponizing their incompetence in the human world to get your attention. Your realm is sooo different to the Devildom, they need you to help them. These ancient and powerful beings are stumped by the incredible inventions of human ingenuity.

Or maybe they're taking advantage of you to monopolize your time.

---

Beelzebub, who had been using a fork just fine all day, suddenly forgets what it's for when you walk into the room. He fiddles with it in his hand and asks, "How does this human fork work?

You respond, confused, "It's the same as any fork? Literally the same as the Devildom, you just... stab the food and put it in your mouth."

"Belphie said human forks are different. You might have to feed me."

---

Asmodeus comes to you in a bath robe, which he managed to put on just fine by himself. "I don't know how human baths work, you'll have to take one with me!"

Belphegor's request is simple. He's already laying down, half asleep, when he grabs your wrist and demands, "Show me how the bed works."

---

"Lucifer, your brothers are driving me crazy again," you complain, having fled to the eldest's room for a moment of reprieve.

Red eyes peer at you from over the rim of his glasses. There's the faint curl of a smile on his lips. "Are they, now? Stay in here as long as you need."

[umblrspectrum]

3 years of this godforsaken show

[hansoeii]

one day they might be brave enough

[joshuamj]

Okay, but what if EoW!Zelda had to impersonate Link

[c-kiddo]

beau is now butch and she/they/he. i willed it so. world peace . standing ovation.

[side-of-honey]

Hi my undertale yellow followers sorry for not posting in 5 years. Woe my dumb doodles be upon ye

Based mostly on uty ost comments I thought were funny + some ut red&yellow for fun :)

[tranniephannie]

no but i seriously think it would be the funniest shit ever if they did a calendar next year called “dan and phil and the holy spirit” and it’s just sister daniel and father philip engaging in various shenanigans for 12 months straight (like the themes don’t have to be religious in nature or anything, i wanna see this gay-ass nun and priest lounging on a beach, carving a halloween pumpkin, riding a tandem bike, you name it)

as an added bonus the name comes with the implication that dan and phil are the father and the son. which is canon anyway

[gerrykeay]

im not putting this post into words. beams into your mind The Parallels

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[dovesick]

articuno

[humanjarvis]

thinking about josephine trying to cook for child mc and caleb in the early days after their adoption. not expecting any pushback, she tells them what they’re having for dinner. mc’s a picky eater, but she’s too scared and shy to voice any complaints. that’s when caleb swoops in. he knows she can’t eat certain things—her grimaces at mealtime and barely touched plates in ever’s lab had told him as much. so he takes matters into his own hands. “we won’t eat that,” he says, young voice firm with resolve. “she doesn’t like it.”

[xoxojisu]

katsuki x reader texts could be read as unofficialbf!katsuki or bf!katsuki up to you <3

bakugo “open up” katsuki

bc @kelisewrites said i should try smau stuff masterlist