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danandphilnews · 4 years

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YouTube stars and LGBT+ influencers Dan Howell and Jessica Kellgren-Fozard on how they and their queer fans have helped each other through “radical bravery”.

Dan Howell, a comedian and one of world’s most popular YouTubers, and Jessica Kellgren-Fozard, lesbian YouTube star and disability advocate, have had vastly different experiences as queer content creators.

The two LGBT+ YouTubers spoke to PinkNews to mark the launch of The Rise, a YouTube campaign that celebrates diverse UK creative talent on the platform.

YouTube’s new campaign The Rise is a celebration of British creative talent featuring some of the platform’s pioneers like Robbie Lyle of AFTV, Colin Furze, Daniel Howell, Yasmin Uddin of Yammy, Dina Tokio and Jay Flynn MBE as well as some of the UK’s most exciting rising talents. (YouTube)

Having already made YouTube videos for 10 years, Dan came out publicly in June 2019, in a 45-minute video titled “Basically I’m gay”.

He described his coming out story as “very strange”, and told PinkNews: “Me already being this kind of obnoxiously, omnipresent public figure, I had to kind of go on this process.

“I’ve known how gay I was since forever, but had to go on the whole journey of not just working out how I would communicate that to the world, but truly reaching a point of self-acceptance.

“Because on some level throughout all of my life, I’ve accepted it but not really acknowledged it. I said: ‘I’m not ready yet, now’s not the time, I don’t know how.'”

Jessica, on the other hand, explained that she has “never struggled” with her sexuality, having always known she would be accepted.

“I have a very different coming out story to most LGBT+ people in that I was raised in a Quaker family, and there was never the expectation that I was going to grow up and get a husband and that this was the way things happened… So I’ve never struggled with my sexuality in that way,” she said.

While Jessica uses her online platform to discuss her life as an LGBT+ person as well as queer history, much of her audience comes to her channel for her disabilities advocacy.

She has two rare genetic conditions, HNPP and EDS, which affect her nerves and connective tissues. She is deaf, visually impaired and her conditions can affect her mobility with varying severity.

“Being a disabled and chronically ill teenager, I had this big thing in my life that was really difficult, and a real struggle, and being gay just paled in comparison,” she said.

“There was obviously the drama, the girls that I liked didn’t liked me, they always turned out to be straight. But that was the biggest drama.

“When I started YouTube, I was already married, it was already very much like, this is who I am. I’m gay, this is my wife. There’s no question. There’s no worrying about it.”

She added: “I like to think that that does, in a way, represent what our future is going to be – that we don’t have to have these coming out stories where people worry about how they’re going to be accepted, and worried about the response they’re going to get.”

Dan Howell wishes he’d had queer role models like Jessica Kellgren-Fozard when he was growing up.

Dan Howell said that YouTubers like Jessica Kellgren-Fozard could have helped him immensely when he was discovering his LGBT+ identity.

“If there was someone like Jessica when I was a young person watching YouTube, I just know I would have had a profoundly different journey through life and coming to accept my sexuality,” he said.

“I would have been represented, I would have learned about queer history, I would have been seeing different relationships, seeing different personalities.”

From LGBT+ issues to disabilities and mental health, both Dan and Jessica have used their platforms to share their experiences in areas that are vastly underrepresented in mainstream media, showing their viewers many facets of their identities.

In 2017, Dan used his YouTube channel to discuss his struggle with his mental health, in a video titled “Daniel and Depression”.

“There’s many aspects to a human,” he said. “I’ve always come from a place of just talking about whatever’s on my mind, or whatever is important to me.

“It was quite a jump for me to make that first video about mental health, opening up about depression out of nowhere was quite scary. Because even three or four years ago, it was still more of a taboo topic.

“I tried to do it in my own way, which is to kind of inappropriately joke about it at my own expense, and try to make it a storytelling experience. That’s just the same as everything else I do.”

Jessica said that from her point of view, “the best representation is always ‘happens to be'”.

“It’s the idea that you have a character who’s going on an adventure, you have someone who’s talking to you about makeup, and they just happen to be gay. Because otherwise we’re not really going to be reaching outside of our own echo chamber.”

She explained that some viewers end up watching 10 of her videos without ever realising that she’s married to a woman, which she thinks is “the best way to kind of have any change and effect on the culture and and people in the world”.

“Because if we’re always trying to preach to the choir, we’re not really going to get anywhere,” she said.

“But if people are thinking so-and-so on TV is absolutely amazing and then later find out that they’re gay, maybe they’ll be changing some preconceived notions.”

“It’s this kind of sneaky, insidious way that the gay agenda will thrive and inevitably take over the world,” laughed Dan. “Winning hearts and minds.”

One particularly heartwarming example, Jessica said, was when a fan used her videos to come out to their parents.

“She was raised in a very religious household and her parents were not at all open to the idea of homosexuality. In fact, if they were watching television, and something came up relating to the subject, they would immediately turn it off, change the channel, perhaps say something wasn’t particularly lovely.

“She was sat there feeling like, ‘Oh, am I ever going to come out my parents?'”

The fan decided to curate a playlist of Jessica’s videos to show her mother.

“It started with videos that I made about my religion,” she said, “and then transitioned to fashion and videos about history. And just slowly, each video was a slightly gayer video.”

“Her mother became a fan within the first 20 videos. She was like: ‘This seems like a good role model for my child.’

“Eventually [she realised] this role model has a wife and is gay, and is OK with this. And her parents are religious and OK with her being gay… I was able to provide a tool for someone to do that to come out in quite a safe way to their parents.”

The “radical bravery” of his queer fans helped Dan Howell come out.

Dan Howell, on the other hand, said that his fans were the ones who helped him feel safe to come out.

While still in the closet, he said he found it “difficult” that he viewers saw him as someone who was always “open and honest” with them, especially after sharing his experience with depression.

“I went on a world tour in 2018… I was doing these meet and greets, and people would genuinely pour their hearts out to me, and they would talk about everything they were going through in their life,” he said.

“They would talk about illness, they would talk about mental health. And so many people talked about sexuality, just because the community that had been created had this attitude of acceptance and growth and coming together and wholesomeness.”

While he understands that there was “no presumption [he] was a homophobe”, he found it confusing when people would tell him that he had inspired them to come out.

“It was difficult, because I stood there feeling like I was a sham. People were saying: ‘I feel strong enough to say this to you, because you’ve been so open and vulnerable to me.’ And I was just stood there like: ‘Well, actually, I feel like there’s the biggest part of me that I haven’t even yet gone on the journey to acknowledge myself.’

“I mean, I’ve had people that came out to me in front of their parents, because they felt like they were in a safe environment, and that’s crazy.

“The radical bravery of some of these people is what made me think if I was feeling like a little scared dog in my apartment, looking in the mirror like a chihuahua, thinking: ‘How am I ever going to come out publicly at this stage of my life?’ I would think well, actually, look at the younger generation.”

In the ‘chaos’ of the internet, queer YouTubers like Dan Howell and Jessica Kellgren-Fozard building valuable communities.

While the internet can be a scary place for queer folk, Dan Howell and Jessica Kellgren-Fozard are determined to use it to build community and acceptance.

“I think that we don’t talk enough about the wonderful sides of the internet,” said Jessica.

“How it allows people to come together and create a community, how it gives us access to education that might before been blocked to us, how we’re able to actually learn from people who come before us.

“I really like talk about queer history, because we’re one of the only communities and minorities that can’t pass down out knowledge through the generations. Because you know, gay people don’t necessarily have gay kids.

“We often miss out on learning from our elders and learning what’s come before us. And I think it’s really important and lovely that we talk about and validate and really cherish these communities that are available to us on the internet.”

Dan added: “When you look at the chaos of the internet and various online communities, I think it is good to see when people are creating content that can make people feel better.

“For all of the terrifying chaos of the freedom of the internet and creating on YouTube, it also lets people emerge that may not have been represented, you can create the content that you wish someone was making for you.

“And I think that’s one of the best things.”

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#dan and phil #dan howell #daniel howell #danisnotonfire

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thegeekerynj · 4 years

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All Death Metal Review (And nothing from Sweden!)

Death Metal: Trinity Crisis One Shot

Writer: Scott Snyder Artist: Francis Manapul

‘And who are YOU supposed to be? I’ve faced enough Dark Knights that no Batman scares me anymore!

Ha! Then it’s a good thing I’m not a Batman! I’m his MOTHER!’

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Sweet Christmas! That took me by surprise!

Harley kissing Jonah Hex, that was really sweet, and gods awful creepy, and kinda gross, after the exchange, and some thought…

This is it, Gentle Readers… the Beginning of the End of the Beginning of… Oh, crap, now I’m lost… This is where the story starts rockin’!

The Gang’s all together, and the Black Lantern Bat has determined what they need to do.

The plan? Split up, naturally. That AL-ways works…

When we left them in DM #3, the Lanterns are protecting the Home Base, and taking out the Crisis Energy Antennae on the Earths left in the known Universes, The Flashes are off and running through the Speed Force, trying to find Metron, and stay ahead of the Bathattan who Laughs, while the Trinity (Superman / Antilife, Black Lantern Batman and Warden Wonder Woman) along with Swamp Thing, Harley, Hex and Jarro, head for Castle Bat, to gain access to the Crisis Earths, where the Crisis Energy is being harvested for Perpetua.

**WHEW!**

Getting into the Castle involves getting past an army of Dark Knights… and we have a bunch of real winners here!

Bat Monday - Salomon Grundy in Bat ears, I could have busted a gut laughing, until I thought about what kind of weapon a zombie with Batman’s training could be, and shivered…

Kull, the daughter of Batman and Wonder Woman, corrupted by the Dark Universe…

Ark, the living embodiment of Arkham, with all of the knowledge and abilities of ALL her worst inmates…

Chiroptor, the amalgam of Batman and Chemo (Great Elder Gods!!)…

And the Pearl, Martha Wayne, in the equivalent of HellBat Armor, complete with her iconic pearl necklace.

This is a real mindscrew for Batman, and the panels depict it, most intently.

One nice thing about Scott Snyder… he is consistent about tying up loose ends. Once we are in Castle Bat, we find out what happened to Barbatos, the Big Bad from Dark Nights: Metal. Not that we were actually wondering, since we got Perpetual, and the Batman Who Laughs, but, like I said, it ties up the package nicely.

Then, we are introduced to the character I have been most happily waiting for… the Robin King, and his Utility Belt of Death!

Gentle Readers, this is the story we have been waiting for, the chapter which tells us what the Heroes Plan of Action is, and where the story has been going, for over 40 years. You see, the opening page of this book tells us where this story began… with Marv Wolfman and George Perez, and Crisis on Infinite Earths!

Not to spoil too much, but Crisis, Infinite Crisis, and Final Crisis, ]well… they have all played a part in getting us to this story. It seems, the “Crisis Energy’ has fed Perpetua while she was trapped within the Source Wall, and, now, she wants it all, so she can recreate the Universes in her image.

Great job, if you can get it…

I can’t say enough good things about this story and artwork, as Snyder and Manapul have put together a really tight, hard hitting bottle / lead story, bringing us to the next step in the saga…

Jeebus on a popsicle stick, I hope no one lets me down… that will hurt!

Out of 5🌶 🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Death Metal: Multiverse’s End #1

Writer: James Tynion IV Artist: Juan Gedeon

‘Mr. Rabbit?

Yes, Young Lady?

Thank you for saving me.

What a kind thing to say! It was so scary out there, and you stayed so brave. I don’t think I could have done it without your courage.

You’re really, really soft.

I use a special carrot shampoo.

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Once upon a time, about a million, bazillion years ago in cranky fat man years, somewhere around 1982, Roy Thomas and Scott Shaw! brought Earth-C into the DC Multiverse, the earth of anthropomorphic animals… yes, they brought Super-Hero Cartoon Animals to the Super Hero Universe.

Our introduction to this Earth was Rodney Rabbit, a comics writing and drawing hare, who created the Just’a Lotta Animals comic by day, and was Captain Carrot, a Superman-esque rabbit, who got his powers from super charged carrots, when danger struck.

But, I digress… because I got really excited!

So, we have teams on the 6 Earths, each Earth holding a tuning fork, focusing the psychic pain energy of the population to Perpetual, powering her attempts to recreate the Multiverse in her image. The Earths in play, Earth - 3 (Crime Syndicate), Earth - X (Nazi Earth), Earth - 29 (Bizarroworld), Earth - 43 (Blood League World) and Earth - 50 (Justice Lords Earth) are all worlds of pain and suffering.

Their energy is the right flavor for destroying, and creating.

The heroes, organized and led by the Green Lanterns of Sector 2814 (Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Rayner, Jessica Cruz, Simon Baz), are working to take down the Antennae before the energy can be fed to Perpetual to power her Cosmic Undoing.

So, teamed with the Lanterns, we have Hawkgirl, Kid Flash (Earth-22), President Superman (Earth-23), Wonder Woman (Earth-6) and Captain Carrot, all hellbent on stopping the respective Antennae.

The problem… Each Earth’s inhabitants have been laced into the antennae, to directly feed the psychic energy to it..since the energy is effectively terror, well, what better way to induce some? Of course, this isn’t the only problem to be contended with…

Leave it to James Tynion IV to come up with a way to make a villain creepier than the Batman Who Laughs… How, you ask? Well, take the true polar opposite of Batman, and make him realize HE IS what Giggles says he is, and you have an interesting new ballgame.

You see, while the Batman who Laughs is the Ultimate CORRUPTED Batman, Owlman is the Anthesis of Batman, the purest EVIL to the Batman’s GOOD. And he plans to make sure that he continues to be the True Opposite…

Gedeon’s artwork is rough, but considering the story being told, and the pain portrayed by the characters, it fits, perfectly. Some times, I see Joe Staton and Nic Cuti in these pages, a little cartoony, but that’s not a complaint… The story concentrates a bunch on Guy Gardner and Cap, so, it seems to fit (and the art is reminiscent of the ‘A Guy and his G’Nort’ storyline from 1991).

All in all, a very good story, and a fantastic use of a truly underused treasure.

Out of 5🌶 🌶🌶🌶🌶

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Speed Metal #1

Writer: Joshua Williamson Pencils: Eddy Barrow Inks: Eber Ferreira

‘Hey, Flash Family, Is it true a Flash has to die in every Crisis?!’

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And the levels of snark from the Darkest Knight have reached Epic Levels!

The first three pages of this issue give us a rehash of everything having to do with Wally West, since the beginning of the Rebirth Era, from Barry pulling Wally out of the Speed Force, to Barry and Batman finding the Comedian’s Smiley Face button embedded in the Batcave wall, to the events of Heroes in Crisis and Flash Forward.

The action picks up as Barry, Wally, Wallace and Jay leave the Batman’s Vault, in search of Metron’s Chair, with the Darkest Knight hot on their trails.

In the Speed Force.

With the Darkest Knight’s presence corrupting the Speed Force, Barry and Wally bickering the entire time, I’m reminded of why I hated the post Crisis Flash… Wally wasn’t mature enough to wear the mantle of Barry’s fame.

Sure, he had the speed, he was even faster than Barry, but he was still the same jealous little kid inside, the one who needed to be patted on the head, the one who couldn’t get on with the Titans, even though he was probably the most powerful of them.

He was just an immature kid, and here, Williamson dragged that all into the foreground once again.

All so Wally West, the King of the Redemption Arc, could have another Redemption Arc…

Sorry, that did me in.

The rest of the story is pretty good… the art is wonderful, the Jay / Barry / Wallace interplay is really kinda neat, and all the Black Flashes… well, I’m a sucker for Death icons, so a mass of Death Speedsters, well that’s fun with a CAPITAL F!

But, did we need another Wally gets to whine story?

Sorry, this wasn’t the finest arc of the Death Metal Saga.

Out of 5🌶 🌶🌶🌶

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Death Metal #4 ‘Shot In The Dark’

Writer: Scott ‘Scream King’ Snyder Artist: Greg ‘The Muscle’ Capullo Inks: Jonathan ‘Bloodied’ Glapion

“So, ever wonder why you never see A Harley Who Laughs’?’

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And, that Gentle Readers, is the crux of one of those puzzles about this series… Why don’t we ever see more twisted versions of the Villains who infest Earth Prime?

The Robin King (this is the character who rates SECOND on my memorable Characters list, especially with his own One-Shot—— Who’s First?? Time, Gentle Ones in time…) puts the explanation out there, and it is very simple.

And worth the read… But, I digress.

So, Issue 4 picks up with Sergeant Rock describing what has been happening on Earth - Prime, and we finally get to see who has been carrying him around… AMBUSH BUG! Yes, the character that made the Fourth Wall more transparent than an open Anderson window has been carrying Rock around as his own personal narrator…

Which, if you know the Bug, is a joke unto itself.

So, here we go, the ride is picking up steam, and we are now following 6, count’em SIX, separate story lines. A guy could get whiplash, or Bullwhip or some other third rate character… But, I digress.

We have the Trinity storyline, the SpeedMetal storyline, Multiverse’s End, and the Lantern Storyline from the last issue, the Justice League / Legion of Doom story… am I forgetting anything?

Oh, and of course, the Robin King.

Where to start with this… I guess the simplest place to start is the artwork.

Greg Capullo’s pencils are absolutely wonderful. For anybody who it's to watch the process of drawing I want to watch so he's got a really wonderful touch I recommend Greg Capullo’s Instagram site. As he's drawing pages for these books, he posts the pencils as he finishes pieces of the process . Normally, he has six or seven photo panels showing exactly what he's been doing. In man cases, this involves crowd scenes, with extensive detail. His work is beautiful, it’s easy to see why he is such a sought after talent.

Jonathan Glapion’s inks on Capullo’s pencils are comparable to Austin on Byrne, and Janson over Miller, Janson over Colan… Enhancing, and not hiding the intricate detail rendered in the pencils, adding that last flash of lightning to bring it all together. The balance struck between them is almost organic, a constant growth between the two, bringing them to levels bordering on the true Classic Art teams of the last 50 years.

I do not make these comparisons lightly

Now, to the story. Scott Snyder is powering a roller coaster with a rocket sled. The coordination between the different aspects of these stories is both intricate and daring. With all the different aspects of this story spinning like plates on sticks, Snyder juggles the plot lines, and what is left to him by the myriad of writers as Emmet Kelly did in the heyday of Ringling Brothers.

His deft touch, and subtle influences are balanced by lace covered sledgehammer blows, leaving the reader reeling, and wanting so very much more.

Scott Snyder, much like Tom Taylor, has pulled out all the stops, cut the brake lines, kicked out the jams, insert favorite euphemism for creating a high speed, non-stop mad ride to Hell!

And, much to my wallet’s chagrin, I am very happy about it.

Now, as it crosses to other books, and other writers pick up the reins, I am sure Snyder will still be the whip hand driving the story, not allowing some of these writers to go too far astray (unless it’s Tom King… then, well Woo Hoooo!)

I can’t say enough good things about this story, or the team creating it. I’m beginning t feel a little biased, but, what the heck.

Out of 5🌶 🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

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Death Metal: Robin King #1 ‘The Robin Who Would Be King’

Writer: Peter J. Tomasi Artist: Riley Rossmo

‘Aw! Come on, this is the fun part!

Get up and let’s FIGHT!’

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Games, within games, within games…

So, the Batman who Laughs wasn’t infallible.

And the Robin King is going to be the bigger threat to the Darkest Knight than any combination of the Trinity, Flashes or their cohorts.

At least, that’s my takeaway from this issue.

We continue the story of the Robin King, as started in the Tales of the Dark Universe one shot. Bruce has grown up, and grown into his sociopathy, and genius. He has used the family fortune to get all the training necessary, and to accumulate all the tools, to begin his reign as the true Evil Overlord of Gotham.

Utilizing his accumulated weapons, he has taken out Commissioner Gordon, Firestorm, Animal Man, Adam Strange Blue Beetle (Ted Kord), and the Red Tornado, all in truly spectacular and extraordinarily grisly fashion.

While the Black Hole Implosion for Firestorm was a particularly well thought out death, I think, so far, the ‘Mortal Coil’ Death, for the Red Tornado was the most imaginative… making his powers totally uncontrollable, while moving him closer to his ultimate dream, to be a real person, before his form totally destroys itself from the stresses of his own speed.

Marvelous! Fantastic! Gross!

Enter the Batman who Laughs, with the proposition to make the Robin King special, one of his own…

But, he’s a Robin, so, off to the Groblin Pit he goes!

Hence, his mistake, and possibly another chink in the boiler plate of his plans… since Bruce Wayne is NO Robin!

Peter Tomasi’s scripting for this issue is simply remarkable. The creep factor he brings to this iteration of Bruce Wayne is almost eviscerating. Reading this was painful to my eyes and psyche, feeling the levels of insanity drip off the page, and scratch across my mind like a little bird’s unnaturally sharp talons.

He really hit all the horror factors.

Then, there was the artwork for this story. Riley Rossmo’s artwork set the mood for this story. His shattered pencil / inks style, which can be distracting, was integral to telling this story. It allowed the Reader to view this story as if it were playing out in Bruce’s mind, its all the fracturing being how he is viewing the world.

For me, this story has been the highlight of the series… thus far. I am anticipating this, which is near the midpoint of things, is setting up the Wednesday Night Episode…so, -

Tune In, Gentle Readers!

Same Bat-Time

Same Bat Channel!

The Best Is Yet To Come!

Did I neglect there is a B-story, with Signal, Spoiler, Orphan and Red Robin taking on Quietus, the amalgam of Batman Ras’ al Ghul and Duke Thimas, from another Dark Universe, written by Tony Patrick and drawn by Daniel Sampere?

This story brings in a plot line for ‘What’s happening for the Other Bat-Family Elements’, as they try to find their way through Castle Bat’s myriad streets…

I am guessing we will start to see more of these stories.

I am completely fine with this, rather than having to recap things later…

Out of 5🌶 🌶🌶🌶🌶.5

#dark nights: death metal #DC comics #Batman Who Laughs #Scott Snyder #Greg Capullo

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foxfire-midnight-wings-writing · 4 years

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Protect Them with Your Bloody Wings: Prologue

Notes: This is the prologue for Protect Them with Your Bloody Wings. The Relationships/characters won’t be shown on the rest of the posts, so keep in mind that it’s covering the entire story.

Most of the next parts will be having shorter introductions/notes, so don’t worry about dealing with this every time.

Below the cut/read more is the actual prologue, so go ahead down there if you’d like to read it!

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Protect Them with Your Bloodied Wings (5829 words) by Foxfire_and_Midnight_Wings

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Marble Hornets Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death Relationships (shortened): Jay & Timothy "Tim" W., Brian & Timothy "Tim" W., Jay Merrick & Everyone, Jay Merrick & Brian Thomas, Alex Kralie & Brian Thomas, Alex Kralie & Jay Merrick, Alex Kralie & Jay Merrick & Brian Thomas & Timothy "Tim" Wright, Hoody & Masky & Skully (Marble Hornets) Characters: Jay Merrick, Timothy "Tim" Wright | Masky, Alex Kralie, Brian Thomas, Hoody (Marble Hornets), Skully (Marble Hornets), Seth Wilson, Sarah Reid, Jessica Locke Additional Tags (shortened): Time Travel Fix-It, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Rebirth, winged jay merrick, bird jay merrick, animalistic features, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Gore, Poor First Aid, jay is bad at keeping secrets, Blood and Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Everyone Needs A Hug, Everyone Has Issues, jay merrick needs a hug, depressed jay merrick, anxious jay merrick, Mythology References, Original Mythology, Other Additional Tags to Be Added Series: Part 1 of You Only Live Once (Right?)

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Trigger Warnings: Major character death, blood-loss/bleeding out, gunshot wound, guns, reference to mythology/supernatural/religious themes

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Distantly, Jay could hear the echoing noise of the gunshot, even though he knew it was long gone. He watched as his camera screen shook and was facing just barely high enough so where you couldn't see where he was shot. He coughed, the metallic tang of blood starting to fill his throat.

There was blood. Oh God, there was too much blood! It was soaking his hand and was starting to cover everywhere he looked. Static started to slowly filter through his head, and he distantly realized he should probably be more worried about that than he actually was. But now wasn't the time, he was lying on the floor bleeding out, and there was no way he could try and stop it. 'God, I regret doing this. I regret doing this so, so much. God, I dragged them all back into this, and if any more of them die, it'll be my fault... No, please! If anyone is listening, save the others. Let them be able to live their lives without worrying about this anymore... Tim, Jessica if she's still alive, and anyone else I may have accidentally gotten involved. Please, help them... and let Tim know I'm sorry...' Jay's thoughts slowed, the static becoming unbearable.

The looming form of The Operator came into view, standing in the corner. In the distance, he thought he could hear sounds of a fight. Maybe that was yelling, but it was too distorted to know. His vision started to black out, the image of The Operator practically burned into his mind. His head fell limp to the floor, eyes slipping closed and breath starting to shallow. He couldn't move anymore, all he could do was feel the cold concrete ground and his heartbeat start to slow as his body started shutting down. His limbs slowly started to feel less like his own as a strange buzzing rang throughout his body. 'Tim... Jessica... Seth... Everyone else who died... God, I'm so sorry, everyone'.

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The darkness consumed him and the buzzing stopped.

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Luckily, there was someone who was listening to his prayer. Well, to say it more accurately, there were multiple people listening. They were silently watching as he bled out and prayed to any being who heard him to save his friends. Some stared in horror at what they were seeing, others were too shocked to do anything else besides sand there. No, this wasn't right, this wasn't supposed to happen. One of their own, shot down by a mortal who had been destroyed from the inside out by a demon, was lying there dying alone. He wasn't supposed to die yet, this they knew. After all, he was technically one of their own.

His mother, who was away with the other leaders, was one of the most powerful Seraphim. His father, a mere mortal. But they loved each other greatly and their son had been blessed with a bright soul and a passion to support others. Yet here he was dying, after trying to help a childhood friend who had been possessed and tormented, the light within him desperately fighting to stay alive. No, this wasn't supposed to be happening.

"We must do something, we can't let him die like this!" One of the lower Angels spoke up. This caused more of the crowded creatures to start moving, desperately trying to find a way to help him.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? We can't manifest in the mortal realm, and we can't help him now. Look! He's too far gone, that beast of a demon is going to try taking him out. What can we do?" A nearby Sphinx spoke up, tail swishing side-to-side anxiously. A couple others around them nodded, feathers ruffling and ears twitching as they shifted around uncomfortably. All of them knew they needed to try to help, if nothing else, just to make his mother feel better. But, as the Sphinx pointed out, what could they do?

Suddenly, a Phoenix flew up and trilled, "I know! I know! I know how we can still help." They flew down past the others, and rushed over to Jay's body. "His soul! That's it, his soul! His mother is a Seraph, another being with wings like my own. If I give him a blessing with my soul, he can be reborn. I can help him live again and help the ones he loved!" Others started to jump down quickly after the bird, cries of joy ringing through the air.

"Brilliant!" They cried, "Save him, save his soul!"

All different types of creatures were jumping down now, excitement rippling through the crowd. "He's one of the only people we have down there who can help the humans and other creatures down there! He must live, so he can help save others who need him," A Pegasus called out, wings flapping madly. The Phoenix landed by Jay's body, wings flaring up defensively as they faced the demon in the corner. The demon looked on, as more and more creatures gathered around Jay's body, and eventually knew he was outmatched. Darkness consumed him as he left the room, and the Phoenix turned back towards Jay. His body was shut down, but his soul was still weakly burning. The last few embers of his soul were attempting still to survive.

The other creatures started to quite down, anticipation filling the room with tension. The Phoenix leaned down and covered his body with his wings. A glow surrounded them both as the Phoenix gave him their gift. The Phoenix's blessing: the gift of rebirth and life. The crowed watched as Jay's soul shifted and changed, the blessing affecting him differently than if would a normal human. "Wait... he is not fully human. How do we know what the exact outcome will be?" The Sphinx spoke up again, eyes widening as they glanced around. This caused all of the creatures present to freeze, realization dawning upon them.

"Something is going to change... and we won't be able to decide how it changes," The Phoenix spoke up, using their wings to cradle Jay's soul.

"Surely you must have thought of this? What do you think will happen?" Someone called out from the crowd. The Phoenix nodded again, and looked up towards the Sphinx.

"I believe, because his mother is a Seraph and I am a Phoenix, it may result in gaining some form of wings. I do not know if this will truly happen, and if it does I have no way of predicting how many or what kind." They paused, looking back down towards Jay's soul. "I do not worry, though, about the result. His soul may be changed from my blessing, but he will adapt to it well. I have faith he will use the changes for good." This seemed enough to satisfy the Sphinx, and the crowd of creatures watched as the world around them started to shift and change.

- - - -

...

Jay opened his eyes and gasped for breath.

#marble hornets #marble hornets fanfic #alex kralie #jay merrick #protect them with your bloody wings #the operator #tw blood #tw character death #tw gunshot wound #tw death #tw mythology/supernatural #tw religion #tw bleeding out #tw guns #prologue

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theliterateape · 5 years

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I Like to Watch | IT Chapter 2

By Don Hall

I love the writing of Stephen King. I am, as one would say, a superfan.

I recall long road trips with my mom and sister when I would sit in the back seat of the car, plugged into my Sony Walkman listening to Maynard Ferguson, pouring through ‘Salem’s Lot, The Shining, and, of course, The Stand. A strange intersection because of that experience is that now, whenever I listen to Maynard Ferguson, it evokes a sense of low-grade dread and a soundtrack more suited to horror than big band jazz.

Along with my deep dives into the world of Castle Rock and Derry, I grew up dealing with poverty, bullying because I was both perpetually the new kid at school, domestic abuse by my first stepfather, an aversion to Church, a built-in disdain for the wealthy, and a need to provoke as much as inform. My childhood was not ideal in a textbook sort of way but taking the time to put those experiences in perspective, contextualizing them, and hoping they don’t lead me around like a dirty Pied Piper is a daily journey.

In 1990, ABC aired a two-part, three-hour movie event featuring the inimitable Tim Curry as Pennywise the Clown that I thought was a pretty excellent adaptation of the much loved novel. Curry was creepy and charismatic and, I’d argue, it was his voice — that rich, amazing baritone and the way he curled his mouth around his words — that stuck with me in best nightmarish sense.

Jumping to 2017, when New Line Cinema came out with Andy Muschietti’s version, I was thrilled to check it out and IT did not disappoint. Using CGI to great effect and replacing the Shakespearean clown of Curry with the snake-like, leering Pennywise of Bill Skarsgård, the 2017 remake was truly terrifying, fun in that jump scare sort of way, and primed me for the return of The Losers Club as adults in the 2019 follow-up.

In 1986, when the novel came out, I was just out of high school, the book was very much about the clown and terrors of being a kid in an increasingly dangerous world. It wasn’t that the world was somehow more dangerous for me in the ’80s than it was for my mother or my grandfather in their coming-of-age times but it seemed that way to me. Pennywise was some fucking scary shit up until King revealed in the book’s conclusion that he was just a giant psychic spider.

Four years later, as a recently graduated college student figuring out how to live in Chicago, the ABC version was less scary but still exciting. I felt I was all grown up, that I had a handle on things, that my understanding of the world was fully formed. I thought I could relate to the adult versions of The Losers Club. The story was still, however, about the clown.

This week, I headed over to Palace Station (a casino about five minutes walk from my apartment), got a huge beer, some popcorn, and settled in to watch the follow-up to the remake. I had read some squawk about how it wasn’t scary enough and that it was too long (the former is irrelevant and the latter is absolutely true).

Quick thoughts: Bill Hader is excellent and owns every frame he is in. The rest of the cast is uniformly good. The production is both funny and well done. Skarsgård is creepy and malevolent as the clown.

It occurred to me about a third of the way into the film that this second half of the story isn’t about the clown, it’s about the people fighting the clown. As an older man, it hit me that this second act of The Losers Club was about adults suddenly being forced to deal with how their past shapes their present in both conscious and unconscious ways.

It’s about Bev (the always awesome Jessica Chastain) dealing with the effects of her abusive father on her choices to be with men who abuse her. It’s about Ben (a serviceable Jay Ryan) going from traumatized fat kid to buff architect. Bill becoming a writer who can’t seem to conjure up a decent ending to his stories. Mike (the under-utilized Isaiah Mustafa) being the one member of the gang who stayed reliving the trauma of evil while his white friends conveniently are allowed to forget.

IT Chapter 2 is about the trials of growing up tailor the life of the grown. Sure, these specific kids grew up having defeated a serial killing apparition of pure evil, so that certainly comes into play. It is not about the clown except in that the clown was a traumatic experience writ larger than life. As children, they learned that facing their fear head on and refusing it purchase was the way to defeat it yet the lesson never quite took hold once they grew up and away.

In that way, this film is even scarier but on a wholly existential perspective. It holds true that our childhood forms who we are as adults and that our choices today are perched upon the choices and consequences of choices made for us, around us, and by us in those formative years. Confronting those horrifying experiences and choosing different paths is the road to adulthood and so many of the adults in this very America society have yet to confront their killer clown.

Finally, with CGI, making the clown a spider with the head of Bill Skarsgård fixed the ending.

#I Like to Watch #IT Chapter 2 #Stephen King #IT #Bill Hader

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onecurious-b · 6 years

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YOU KNOW

I’m 26 years old. As someone who read “13 Reasons Why” by Jay Asher in high school in 2007, the year it was published, I am appalled. I remember this book. I remember reading it. I was the exact same age as the characters in it. I was in high school in the actual year it was published! If there was ever a story meant to cater to my lived experience, this was it. I related to Hannah Baker, except for wanting to take my own life. But the situations she experienced and was subjected to I had been subjected to and knew people who had. I had my own Clay Jensen or someone I thought we perhaps would be good together but never ended up together. I imagined his reaction if I ever would have done something like what Hannah did. I was able to place myself into the story. I passed the book around to my group of friends. This book, although updated for the TV show for high school kids in 2017 was written about high school kids in 2007. I was a high school kid in 2007! In other words, this book really it home for me. I remember my mom was scared that I was reading this book (she always wanted to know the contents of the latest book I was reading. I didn't know this until recently but she said she usually would read the book after I read it too!) and she asked me if I ever thought about doing anything like what Hannah did. I paused, thought about it, and said “no not like that but I have wanted to do drastic things because of the situations at school sometimes”. She was very supportive and made a real effort to be more in tune with my mental state. Anyways, I was a junior in high school when I saw this book in the library and from the title alone was compelled to read it. I must have read the book in a day and a half. I thought it was a completely compelling story about how a lot of things can fail us in life and when we think there is no other option to opt out. More than a story about Hannah Baker I thought the ultimate moral of the book was for each of the remaining characters and doing better, not ignoring the signs of someone in need.

When I found out about the Netflix show last year I was excited and nervous as anyone is about a beloved book of theirs being made into a series or film. However (and I wrote about this last year) the whole situation with Bryce (with Hannah and Jessica) was not how I remembered it in the books. But I suspended my disbelief, after all, it had been 10 years since I last read the book, maybe I got it wrong, maybe I didn't remember it correctly, maybe my 16 year old self read those scenes and didn't truly understood what had actually taken place. So I accepted the violence of the TV show story line, despite being a little more than disturbed.

Today, after finishing the second season I am disgusted with the series. This last episode was so fucked! I have no words. And while there was some parts of Season 2 I absolutely loved (well just the character development of Zach and the brief return of Jeff) I could have done without it. These children are depicted having problems that most adults do not have to deal with and it is normalized! I cant even comprehend the rage and disgust I am feeling right now. That last scene with Clay and Tyler scared me, I was shaking and crying. The scene earlier in the episode with Tyler was horrendous and scarring! WHAT. THE. FUCK. I know there was warnings before the episode but I have honestly not witnessed fiction so graphic before (and I’ve watched Starz’s Spartacus and HBO’s Game of Thrones). This show needs to be cancelled.

It’s not a conversation, or depicting an “interesting side” there is nothing educational about this shit that I’ve just witnessed. And it is SHIT. I mean fuck’s sake one of the episodes in S2 even said as much! “It’s not starting a conversation its telling!” Didn't Clay say something like that. Whatever.

This is way beyond anything of what the initial message I’m sure Jay Asher was trying to send.I am disappointed. I am disgusted. I’m actually surprised the show got another season after someone copied the suicide of Hannah Baker after season 1 aired. The show has failed to pick up the message and tone of the book, often times adding to the trauma of the book and pushing situations to the point of unimaginable terror and horror. This is not okay.

#netflix #13 reasons why #13 reasons season 2 #what the fuck #cancel this show #jay asher #13rw #13rw spoilers #13 reasons spoilers

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ladystylestores · 4 years

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For Stylists, COVID-19 Stopped Ad Campaigns, Celebrity Dressing, More – WWD

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The COVID-19 pandemic has impacted the fashion world in numerous ways, forcing designers, manufacturers and retailers to come to a screeching halt and, for good and bad, take a breather. For some top stylists, the pause has meant placing on hold confirmed ad campaigns and magazine shoots, styling runway shows and celebrity dressing gigs.

The lockdown also has allowed the industry to recognize that quality rules over quantity, and that going forward there needs to be a greater emphasis on artistry and craftsmanship over simply speed and size. Leading stylists — who have privileged access to designers and almost every brand’s most expensive creations — generally got into the industry because of their fascination with fashion, with many of them treating clothes as collectibles, pieces that either had limited runs due to how intricate or ornate they were, or were a piece from a designer no longer alive.

Each has his or her own criteria as to what makes a piece special.

With that in mind, WWD caught up with stylists around the globe to discuss the personal archives they have assembled over the years, resulting in a trip down Fashion (Memory) Lane. The journey uncovered pieces from designers who have had an immense impact on fashion over the last 25 years, ranging from Alexander McQueen and Helmut Lang to Azzedine Alaïa, Marc Jacobs and more.

Here, a peek into stylists’ closets.

GARTH SPENCER

“I think the bag is one of my favorite pieces. It’s functional but decadently decorative, like a run-over soda can. Helmut Lang’s aesthetic has always felt timeless because of its ability to have never regressed in style or relevance to the world of design. Only physical decay and usage are what’s causing it to become extraneous. So it now lives in a bag of its own.”

BILL MULLEN

Marc Jacobs, fall 1997. “This is the world’s greatest sweater. Period. And I still wear it. Constantly.”

JULIE RAGOLIA

“This Chanel jacket was the first designer piece I purchased as a young stylist, perhaps around 2007. Though Victorian in style it’s a windbreaker, which I found funny. I often wear it while riding my bike around NYC, then crumple it into a bag. I don’t believe that clothing should ever be too precious to be functional. I’m at my farmhouse in the country where everything, including Chanel, needs to have practical ability. This jacket is a reminder to myself to make smart, long-term purchases, and to always find them fun. And if it gets muddy while planting, that’s also OK.”

ANNE CHRISTENSEN

“This dress is from the Callaghan collection by Nicolas Ghesquière, spring 2001. I remember seeing the show and loving the Grecian-meets-rocker vibe! The draping of the dress and the sash with a metal triangle in the back still look modern.”

JAY MASSACRET

“This is a Mao jacket from the spring 2007 Yves Saint Laurent Collection by Stefano Pilati. I’m really loving this piece at the moment. I love the allover photo print of a group in close proximity — the image is of crowd-goers at the seminal Woodstock festival in 1969. I also like the ease of wear (I’m a sucker for a good work jacket).”

HECTOR CASTRO

Spring 2018 Kim Jones for Louis Vuitton leather trenchcoat in Navy blue.

“Runway looks speak to me on many different levels. The Vuitton trench I am wearing is one of the lightest pieces I own being totally unconstructed with no lining. In this strange time more than anything the idea of protection has become important for me. When I wear this trench, it feels simple, chic, a bit “Matrix”-y and I always feel protected in it. I have a love for leather, so a piece I can wear all of spring and again in the autumn months.…I just had to have it! More than ever it feels like such a good time to dig through your closet and find those pieces that really make you happy and pull them out. This trench is one of those items. I hope to have it forever.”

MOBOLAJI DAWODU

“I’m a big fan of uniforms, if it works, keep wearing it!

“I never go out without a hat, I have this hat in many different shapes and colors from around the world.

“Moscot are my go-to glasses, love them, I won’t take them off — indoors or out.

“Got this jacket from the Caruso spring 2017 collection, the tailoring is impeccable and white/off-white outerwear is always elegant. I’ve had this neon sweatshirt for seven or eight years, I still exercise in it.

“Overalls — I’m a big kid and I mean, you really can’t go wrong with Clarks, also this color!

“A true gentleman wears a scarf…”

LUKE DAY

“My favorite archive piece at home right now is from the Versace spring 1994 collection, which was a truly seminal era of the brand. In my teens I was obsessed with Versace, I grew up with campaigns torn out of the pages of Vogue covering my walls and I have collected some great vintage pieces over the years. This chainmail tank top is originally from a Versace shoot for L’Uomo Vogue in 1994 with the British band Take That, photographed by Tiziano Magni.”

GRANT WOOLHEAD

“I’ve held onto lots of my clothes over the years and I’ve also let lots of pieces go. The things I tend to keep are either modern classics that still feel relevant to my wardrobe today or they are pieces that define a time or a memory for me. This beautiful peacoat is from Raf Simons’ men’s wear collection for Jil Sander, I think it is from his debut collection for Jil back in 2007. It’s an incredibly heavy wool coat, fully lined and it’s quite a boxy number that when I wear it kind of swings around, which I like. You can make great shapes with it. I always like to wear it with skinny jeans or slim trousers in a Mod-ish way with a clumpy shoe like it was dressed in the original show. This is another one of those classic pieces that never seems to date.”

JESSICA DIEHL

“Nicolas’ Balenciaga was an obsession of mine (not alone there) and that season’s Cristóbal tribute was one of my many favorites during his tenure. At the time they had these glorious sample sales and I stumbled upon this piece — it never made it into my favorite show, but was therefore not produced and one-of-a-kind — so a perfect justification for an outrageous price tag. But a kind of ‘couture’!

“The craftsmanship and construction were truly stunning, but even so it felt light. Not only that, it felt of value. No one does retro/futurist/modernist like Nicolas.

“There are too many memories to count, but my favorite would have to be wearing it in a barn in Missouri surprised at how a ‘Rhinestone Cowboy’ theme really welcomed some couture, and how a cowboy boot can really change a look.”

TABITHA SIMMONS

“I have always been such a huge fan of Alaïa, when I found this in a vintage store my heart skipped a beat as it was from one of my favorite collections he did. My heart belongs to daddy!!!”

PATRICK MACKIE

“My Schott Perfecto Biker jacket which I bought when I moved to New York City some 15 years or so ago. I purchased it from this wonderful vintage store on Greenwich Avenue called Star Struck. The store no longer exists, which makes me sad, especially in terms of sustainable fashion and New York vintage shopping becoming harder as owners struggle to continue their business. This jacket holds a special place in my heart. I wore it everywhere dressed up and down, it traveled with me from far-off shooting locations such as Cairo for W magazine (2010) to the dance floor of the Beatrice Inn. This classic jacket has lived!”

ALISTER MACKIE

Alister Mackie wearing an Alexander McQueen hat designed by Philip Treacy from the 2002 show — photographed by Venetia Scott at Marc Jacobs’ Halloween party in New York.

“This piece is very precious to me as it was part of the Hans Bellmer-inspired collection shown at the Conciergerie in Paris. I had an unforgettable experience working on the fittings for this collection with Lee and Sarah.”

TONNE GOODMAN

“It is my Azzedine Alaïa black leather trenchcoat from the mid-Eighties. I have coveted it for three decades. It is perfectly in style this very moment and will be forever.”

TOM VAN DORPE

“My favorite archive piece is this Maison Margiela jumpsuit, I have been wearing it for years. At work or at home.”

MELANIE WARD

“My love affair with vintage clothing began when I was 13. I can’t say that I have just one favorite piece from my clothing archive, but I love all of my vintage Azzedine Alaïa, especially the little suede and leather bra tops he made and I have worn them all a lot. Azzedine’s clothes always make me feel good in my skin and that is really important to me.”

“I bought the vintage Azzedine Alaïa in the Nineties and I believe he designed it in the early Eighties.”

JIM MOORE

“Sometime between 1996 and 1997, designer Helmut Lang relocated to New York City from his hometown of Vienna, Austria. He opened his flagship boutique on Greene street in SoHo and it was mad cool. The store was always restocked in time for the weekend, so I’d race to Greene Street on Saturday morning, hoping to score anything in black in a European size 54. His clothes were timeless and time-sensitive at the same time. The designer once said, ‘you will wear my clothes until they fall apart.’ A truthful quote that should have been stitched into every garment he created.

“At one point, I found myself needing three of his black coats, each one for a different occasion and change of climate. A cotton moleskin reefer was perfect for an early fall weekend, a cashmere topcoat was a must for trips to Milan and Paris for the men’s shows, and a fur-trimmed parka was stylishly useful for a brutal New York City winter.

“It was the outerwear that really got me excited. This is the one that has been hiding out in my closet in Palm Springs, Calif., still in fashion and as stylish as ever, even in a pandemic.”

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inloveandwords · 5 years

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Lately, I’ve been adding the books I want to read to my Amazon Wishlist instead of my Goodreads TBR. This is mostly because I can see right away if it is available on Audible Escape or Kindle Unlimited, which is nice.

Anytime I’m shopping for books, I just refer to that list more often than my Goodreads TBR (and my shelves there anyway).

I want to rethink how I use my Goodreads TBR, but for now, I’ll just focus on decluttering it.

It works like this

Go to your Goodreads to-read shelf.

Order on ascending date added.

Take the first 5 or 10 books (I’m doing 20 because I have way too many on my list)

Read the synopsis of the books

Decide: keep it or should it go?

The Moon and More by Sarah Dessen

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Luke is the perfect boyfriend: handsome, kind, fun. He and Emaline have been together all through high school in Colby, the beach town where they both grew up. But now, in the summer before college, Emaline wonders if perfect is good enough.

Enter Theo, a super-ambitious outsider, a New Yorker assisting on a documentary film about a reclusive local artist. Theo’s sophisticated, exciting, and, best of all, he thinks Emaline is much too smart for Colby.

Emaline’s mostly-absentee father, too, thinks Emaline should have a bigger life, and he’s convinced that an Ivy League education is the only route to realizing her potential. Emaline is attracted to the bright future that Theo and her father promise. But she also clings to the deep roots of her loving mother, stepfather, and sisters. Can she ignore the pull of the happily familiar world of Colby?

Emaline wants the moon and more, but how can she balance where she comes from with where she’s going?

Sarah Dessen’s devoted fans will welcome this story of romance, yearning, and, finally, empowerment. It could only happen in the summer.

Date added to TBR: 12/29/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I’m planning to read all of Sarah Dessen’s backlist.

Gardenia by Kelsey Sutton

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Seventeen-year-old Ivy Erickson has one month, twenty-seven days, four hours, fifty-nine minutes, and two seconds to live.

Ever since she was a child, Ivy has been able to see countdown clocks over everyone’s heads indicating how long before they will die. She can’t do anything about anyone else’s, nor can she do anything about her own, which will hit the zero hour before she even graduates high school.

A life cut short is tragic, but Ivy does her best to make the most of it. She struggles emotionally with her deep love for on-again, off-again boyfriend Myers Patripski. She struggles financially, working outside of school to help her mom and her sister. And she struggles to cope with the murder of her best friend, another life she couldn’t save. Vanessa Donovan was killed in the woods, and everyone in town believes Ivy had something to do with it.

Then more girls start disappearing. Ivy tries to put her own life in order as she pieces together the truth of who ended Vanessa’s. To save lives and for her own sanity.

The clock is always ticking. And Ivy’s only hope is to expose the truth before it runs out completely.

Date added to TBR: 12/30/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I actually can’t believe I haven’t read this one yet. I love Kelsey Sutton!

Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls, and Everything in Between by Lauren Graham

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

In Talking as Fast as I Can, Lauren Graham hits pause for a moment and looks back on her life, sharing laugh-out-loud stories about growing up, starting out as an actress, and, years later, sitting in her trailer on the Parenthood set and asking herself, “Did you, um, make it?” She opens up about the challenges of being single in Hollywood (“Strangers were worried about me; that’s how long I was single!”), the time she was asked to audition her butt for a role, and her experience being a judge on Project Runway (“It’s like I had a fashion-induced blackout”).

In “What It Was Like, Part One,” Graham sits down for an epic Gilmore Girls marathon and reflects on being cast as the fast-talking Lorelai Gilmore. The essay “What It Was Like, Part Two” reveals how it felt to pick up the role again nine years later, and what doing so has meant to her.

Some more things you will learn about Lauren: She once tried to go vegan just to bond with Ellen DeGeneres, she’s aware that meeting guys at awards shows has its pitfalls (“If you’re meeting someone for the first time after three hours of hair, makeup, and styling, you’ve already set the bar too high”), and she’s a card-carrying REI shopper (“My bungee cords now earn points!”).

Including photos and excerpts from the diary Graham kept during the filming of the recent Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life, this book is like a cozy night in, catching up with your best friend, laughing and swapping stories, and—of course—talking as fast as you can.

Date added to TBR: 12/31/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I love Gilmore Girls and Lauren Graham!

The Throne of Glass Coloring Book (Throne of Glass) by Sarah J. Maas

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

Enter the world of Throne of Glass

Experience the vivid imagery of Sarah J. Maas’s expansive world in her breathtaking New York Times bestselling Throne of Glass saga. Celaena on the rooftops of Rifthold, Chaol in the gardens of the glass castle, Manon riding her wyvern through the Crossing, and many other favorite moments, characters, and objects from the vibrantly detailed realm of Throne of Glass come to life. With stunning original black-and-white drawings, The Throne of Glass Coloring Book is a must-have companion for any reader looking to be swept up in the adventure of a lifetime.

Date added to TBR: 12/31/16 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I have the Court of Thorns and Roses version of this, I just need this one, now.

Off Sides (Off #1) by Sawyer Bennett

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

“I’m not sure what possessed me to do it. Maybe it was the impossible expectations I faced, maybe it was my own self-loathing. But I just knew I needed something different to happen. I needed someone… something… to derail me from my current path. Otherwise, I would become lost… a hollowed out shell of a man. So I did it. I approached her, then I pursued her, then I made her mine. And my life was saved…”

Ryan Burnham is the privileged son of a U.S. Congressman and captain of his university’s hockey team. While he is on the verge of fulfilling his dreams to play in the NHL, his parents want him on a different course. One he is expected to accept for the sake of his family’s public image.

Forced her to abandon her music career after the heart breaking death of her parents, Danny Cross exists on the opposite side of the tracks from Ryan. She is struggling to make her own way, working two jobs, attending college part time and volunteering in a homeless shelter. She is on a mission to build her own success.

With a chance meeting, their vastly different worlds collide, causing each to evaluate whether they are truly on the correct path to self-fulfillment and happiness. Can their relationship survive? Particularly when others are against them every step of the way. A lot can happen in just ten short days…

Date added to TBR: 1/4/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I have this on audio and started it, but never finished. I think if the timing is right, I’ll enjoy it.

Of Beast and Beauty by Stacey Jay

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

In the beginning was the darkness, and in the darkness was a girl, and in the girl was a secret…

In the domed city of Yuan, the blind Princess Isra, a Smooth Skin, is raised to be a human sacrifice whose death will ensure her city’s vitality. In the desert outside Yuan, Gem, a mutant beast, fights to save his people, the Monstrous, from starvation. Neither dreams that together, they could return balance to both their worlds.

Isra wants to help the city’s Banished people, second-class citizens despised for possessing Monstrous traits. But after she enlists the aid of her prisoner, Gem, who has been captured while trying to steal Yuan’s enchanted roses, she begins to care for him, and to question everything she has been brought up to believe.

As secrets are revealed and Isra’s sight, which vanished during her childhood, returned, Isra will have to choose between duty to her people and the beast she has come to love.

Date added to TBR: 1/11/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I love Beauty and the Beast retellings!

A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1) by Jessica Cluess

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

I am Henrietta Howel. The first female sorcerer. The prophesied one. Or am I?

Henrietta Howel can burst into flames. When she is brought to London to train with Her Majesty’s sorcerers, she meets her fellow sorcerer trainees, young men eager to test her powers and her heart. One will challenge her. One will fight for her. One will betray her. As Henrietta discovers the secrets hiding behind the glamour of sorcerer life, she begins to doubt that she’s the true prophesied one. With battle looming, how much will she risk to save the city–and the one she loves?

Date added to TBR: 1/11/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This one is on my bookshelf.

The Lonely Ones by Kelsey Sutton

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

When your only friend is your own endless imagination, how do you escape your mind and connect to the world around you?

With parents too busy to pay her attention, an older brother and sister who would rather spend their time with friends, and peers who oscillate between picking on her and simply ignoring her, it’s no wonder that Fain spends most of her time in a world of her own making. During the day, Fain takes solace in crafting her own fantastical adventures in writing, but in the darkness of night, these adventures come to life as Fain lives and breathes alongside a legion of imaginary creatures. Whether floating through space or under the sea, climbing mountains or traipsing through forests, Fain becomes queen beyond – and in spite of – the walls of her bedroom.

In time, Fain begins to see possibilities and friendships emerge in her day-to-day reality. . . yet when she is let down by the one relationship she thought she could trust, Fain must decide: remain queen of the imaginary creatures, or risk the pain that comes with opening herself up to the fragile connections that exist only in the real world?

Told in breathless and visual verse, THE LONELY ONES takes readers through the intricate inner workings of a girl who struggles to navigate isolation and finds friendship where she least expects it.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: Again, I love this author and want to read everything she writes.

Radiance (Wraith Kings #1) by Grace Draven

CLICK FOR SYNOPSIS

THE PRINCE OF NO VALUE

Brishen Khaskem, prince of the Kai, has lived content as the nonessential spare heir to a throne secured many times over. A trade and political alliance between the human kingdom of Gaur and the Kai kingdom of Bast-Haradis requires that he marry a Gauri woman to seal the treaty. Always a dutiful son, Brishen agrees to the marriage and discovers his bride is as ugly as he expected and more beautiful than he could have imagined.

THE NOBLEWOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE

Ildiko, niece of the Gauri king, has always known her only worth to the royal family lay in a strategic marriage. Resigned to her fate, she is horrified to learn that her intended groom isn’t just a foreign aristocrat but the younger prince of a people neither familiar nor human. Bound to her new husband, Ildiko will leave behind all she’s known to embrace a man shrouded in darkness but with a soul forged by light.

Two people brought together by the trappings of duty and politics will discover they are destined for each other, even as the powers of a hostile kingdom scheme to tear them apart.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This book has such high ratings, and I vaguely remember really wanting to read it!

Passenger (Passenger #1) by Alexandra Bracken

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Passage, n. i. A brief section of music composed of a series of notes and flourishes. ii. A journey by water; a voyage. iii. The transition from one place to another, across space and time.

In one devastating night, violin prodigy Etta Spencer loses everything she knows and loves. Thrust into an unfamiliar world by a stranger with a dangerous agenda, Etta is certain of only one thing: she has traveled not just miles but years from home. And she’s inherited a legacy she knows nothing about from a family whose existence she’s never heard of. Until now.

Nicholas Carter is content with his life at sea, free from the Ironwoods—a powerful family in the colonies—and the servitude he’s known at their hands. But with the arrival of an unusual passenger on his ship comes the insistent pull of the past that he can’t escape and the family that won’t let him go so easily. Now the Ironwoods are searching for a stolen object of untold value, one they believe only Etta, Nicholas’ passenger, can find. In order to protect her, he must ensure she brings it back to them—whether she wants to or not.

Together, Etta and Nicholas embark on a perilous journey across centuries and continents, piecing together clues left behind by the traveler who will do anything to keep the object out of the Ironwoods’ grasp. But as they get closer to the truth of their search, and the deadly game the Ironwoods are playing, treacherous forces threaten to separate Etta not only from Nicholas but from her path home… forever.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: I am determined to read this.

Friend Me (Mates, Dates #1-3) by Cathy Hopkins

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Lucy, Izzy, and Nesta are sassy, sparkling…and utterly smitten.

In Mates, Dates, and Inflatable Bras, Lucy is at a turning point. She doesn’t feel like she fits in with her friends Izzie and Nesta. Then Lucy sees the most wonderful boy, and things start to change — in all areas of her life.

Izzie is smitten with Mark in Mates, Dates, and Cosmic Kisses. When Izzie cancels plans just so she’s available if Mark should call, Lucy and Nesta know they need to intervene. But how can they help when Izzie is convinced that she and Mark are destined to be together?

Nesta meets a boy of her own in Mates, Dates, and Designer Divas. Simon is rich and his lifestyle is totally glamorous. So is his friend Cressida. But competing for Simon’s affections could cost Nesta more than she anticipated.

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf

The One Memory of Flora Banks by Emily Barr

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HOW DO YOU KNOW WHO TO TRUST WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN TRUST YOURSELF?

I look at my hands. One of them says FLORA BE BRAVE. Flora has anterograde amnesia. She can’t remember anything day-to-day: the joke her friend made, the instructions her parents gave her, how old she is. Then she kisses someone she shouldn’t, and the next day she remembers it. It’s the first time she’s remembered anything since she was ten. But the boy is gone. She thinks he’s moved to the Arctic. Will following him be the key to unlocking her memory? Who can she trust?

Date added to TBR: 1/12/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf

The Book of Luke by Jenny O’Connell

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Emily Abbott has always been considered the Girl Most Likely to Be Nice — but lately being nice hasn’t done her any good. Her parents have decided to move the family from Chicago back to their hometown of Boston in the middle of Emily’s senior year. Only Emily’s first real boyfriend, Sean, is in Chicago, and so is her shot at class valedictorian and early admission to the Ivy League. What’s a nice girl to do? Then Sean dumps Emily on moving day and her father announces he’s staying behind in Chicago “to tie up loose ends,” and Emily decides that what a nice girl needs to do is to stop being nice.

She reconnects with her best friends in Boston, Josie and Lucy, only to discover that they too have been on the receiving end of some glaring Guy Don’ts. So when the girls have to come up with something to put in the senior class time capsule, they know exactly what to do. They’ll create a not-so-nice reference guide for future generations of guys — an instruction book that teaches them the right way to treat girls.

But when her friends draft Emily to test out their tips on Luke Preston — the hottest, most popular guy in school, who just broke up with Josie by email — Emily soon finds that Luke is the trickiest of test subjects . . . and that even a nice girl like Emily has a few things to learn about love.

Date added to TBR: 1/16/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Not super interested in this one anymore.

The Girl of Fire and Thorns (Fire and Thorns #1) by Rae Carson

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Once a century, one person is chosen for greatness. Elisa is the chosen one.

But she is also the younger of two princesses, the one who has never done anything remarkable. She can’t see how she ever will.

Now, on her sixteenth birthday, she has become the secret wife of a handsome and worldly king—a king whose country is in turmoil. A king who needs the chosen one, not a failure of a princess.

And he’s not the only one who seeks her. Savage enemies seething with dark magic are hunting her. A daring, determined revolutionary thinks she could be his people’s savior. And he looks at her in a way that no man has ever looked at her before. Soon it is not just her life, but her very heart that is at stake.

Elisa could be everything to those who need her most. If the prophecy is fulfilled. If she finds the power deep within herself. If she doesn’t die young.

Most of the chosen do.

Date added to TBR: 1/16/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Eh.

Spindle Fire (Spindle Fire #1) by Lexa Hillyer

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A kingdom burns. A princess sleeps. This is no fairy tale.

It all started with the burning of the spindles.

No.

It all started with a curse…

Half sisters Isabelle and Aurora are polar opposites: Isabelle is the king’s headstrong illegitimate daughter, whose sight was tithed by faeries; Aurora, beautiful and sheltered, was tithed her sense of touch and her voice on the same day. Despite their differences, the sisters have always been extremely close.

And then everything changes, with a single drop of Aurora’s blood—and a sleep so deep it cannot be broken.

As the faerie queen and her army of Vultures prepare to march, Isabelle must race to find a prince who can awaken her sister with the kiss of true love and seal their two kingdoms in an alliance against the queen.

Isabelle crosses land and sea; unearthly, thorny vines rise up the palace walls; and whispers of revolt travel in the ashes on the wind. The kingdom falls to ruin under layers of snow. Meanwhile, Aurora wakes up in a strange and enchanted world, where a mysterious hunter may be the secret to her escape…or the reason for her to stay.

Date added to TBR: 1/20/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This one is on my bookshelf.

Rise (Rock Solid #1) by Karina Bliss

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Rise – The redemption story of a rock star going straight(er) through the love of a good(ish) woman.

Acclaimed literary biographer Elizabeth Winston writes about long-dead heroes. So bad-boy rock icon Zander Freedman couldn’t possibly tempt her to write his memoir. Except the man is a mass of fascinating contradictions–manipulative, honest, gifted, charismatic and morally ambiguous. In short, everything she seeks in a biography subject. When in her life will she get another chance to work with a living legend? But saying yes to one temptation soon leads to another. Suddenly she’s having heated fantasies about her subject, fantasies this blue-eyed devil is only too willing to stoke. She thought self-control was in her DNA; after all, she grew up a minister’s daughter. She thought wrong.

Rock star Zander Freedman has been an outlier–many would say an outcast–for most of his life. But there’s no disaster he can’t overcome, from the breakup of his band to the inevitable damage to his reputation. His Resurrection Tour is shaping up to be his greatest triumph–if his golden voice holds out. Contracting a respected biographer is simply about creating more buzz. Elizabeth’s integrity is the key to consolidating his legacy as one of rock’s greats. All the damn woman has to do is write down what he tells her. Not force him to think. Or encourage the good guy struggling to get out. And certainly not make him fall in love for the first time in his life. Turns out he is scared of something: being known.

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Nah.

Swear on This Life by Renee Carlino

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When a bestselling debut novel from mysterious author J.Colby becomes the literary event of the year, Emiline reads it reluctantly. As an adjunct writing instructor at UC San Diego with her own stalled literary career and a bumpy long-term relationship, Emiline isn’t thrilled to celebrate the accomplishments of a young and gifted writer.

Yet from the very first page, Emiline is entranced by the story of Emerson and Jackson, two childhood best friends who fall in love and dream of a better life beyond the long dirt road that winds through their impoverished town in rural Ohio.

That’s because the novel is patterned on Emiline’s own dark and desperate childhood, which means that “J. Colby” must be Jase: the best friend and first love she hasn’t seen in over a decade. Far from being flattered that he wrote the novel from her perspective, Emiline is furious that he co-opted her painful past and took some dramatic creative liberties with the ending.

The only way she can put her mind at ease is to find and confront “J. Colby,” but is she prepared to learn the truth behind the fiction?

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Ditch Comments: Nah.

Three Dark Crowns (Three Dark Crowns #1) by Kendare Blake

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When kingdom come, there will be one.

In every generation on the island of Fennbirn, a set of triplets is born—three queens, all equal heirs to the crown and each possessor of a coveted magic. Mirabella is a fierce elemental, able to spark hungry flames or vicious storms at the snap of her fingers. Katharine is a poisoner, one who can ingest the deadliest poisons without so much as a stomachache. Arsinoe, a naturalist, is said to have the ability to bloom the reddest rose and control the fiercest of lions.

But becoming the Queen Crowned isn’t solely a matter of royal birth. Each sister has to fight for it. And it’s not just a game of win or lose…it’s life or death. The night the sisters turn sixteen, the battle begins.

The last queen standing gets the crown.

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf.

Song of the Current (Song of the Current #1) by Sarah Tolcser

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Caroline Oresteia is destined for the river. For generations, her family has been called by the river god, who has guided their wherries on countless voyages throughout the Riverlands. At seventeen, Caro has spent years listening to the water, ready to meet her fate. But the river god hasn’t spoken her name yet—and if he hasn’t by now, there’s a chance he never will.

Caro decides to take her future into her own hands when her father is arrested for refusing to transport a mysterious crate. By agreeing to deliver it in exchange for his release, Caro finds herself caught in a web of politics and lies, with dangerous pirates after the cargo—an arrogant courier with a secret—and without the river god to help her. With so much at stake, Caro must choose between the life she always wanted and the one she never could have imagined for herself.

From debut author Sarah Tolcser comes an immersive and romantic fantasy set along the waterways of a magical world with a headstrong heroine determined to make her mark.

Date added to TBR: 1/22/17 Keep or Ditch? Keep Comments: This is on my bookshelf.

Decluttering my TBR #2 Lately, I've been adding the books I want to read to my Amazon Wishlist instead of my Goodreads TBR.

#declutter

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thenovelescapes · 7 years

Text

april 2017

This is the first April in five years that I have not been studying for final exams and feverishly reading the textbooks I neglected during the semester. Instead, I’ve been spending my days at work, commuting three hours to/from work, and watching Mad Man with my parents. It’s a wild life, y’all.

- the television -

Speaking of Mad Men, my parents and I wrapped up the series this month with seasons five, six and seven. It’s clearly very well made, and the acting is impressive, but I’m not sure I liked it? My only real opinions about the show are a) Jon Hamm is a fox, and b) Peggy Olson is the best.

In April, I also continued my re-watch of Grey’s Anatomy with seasons three, four, five and six. Predictably, I got sucked back into the Grey’s universe and fell behind on nearly all currently airing shows in favour of binging it. I’ve watched the first five seasons of this show so many times since I first started watching in middle school, and every time I do, I find more and more plots that irritate me. George and Izzie getting together is even worse than I remembered. Izzie having sex with Denny’s ghost? Erica Hahn’s entire presence? Boo, BOOOOOO. In season five, two new characters are introduced - Owen Hunt and Arizona Robbins. Both are characters that I loved (at first) and then grew to absolutely despise in later seasons. (I loved Hunt so much when he was just a great doctor and sweet guy struggling with PTSD, but now I could write an entire dissertation on why he is garbage). But the character development of Meredith Grey and Alex Karev through these first six seasons is so well done and incredibly important to me, and they are the only reason that I am still watching this show thirteen seasons later.

I also spent an intense weekend binge watching 13 Reasons Why this month. The novel, by Jay Asher, was really important to me in high school - I read it a dozen times and did my entire grade 9 English final project on it. I do feel that the adaptation elevated the material, but there were changes made that felt unnecessary and gratuitous and as an adult, I am more aware of how the entire story could be harmful to those struggling with suicide ideation. This piece, by Ijeoma Oluo, does a great job of exploring this.

- the books -

I fell into a bit of a reading slump this month. I’m still eight books ahead of schedule on my reading challenge (TAKE THAT, GOODREADS) but I only finished three in April. The first was Marlena by Julie Buntin. I preordered this novel back in 2016 and had been anticipating its release for months, so I was extremely excited to dive in. It did not disappoint! But, after I was done, I had trouble sinking into another novel. I started and promptly gave up on four different books before finally settling on Maybe in Another Life by Taylor Jenkins Reid. Reid’s novels are all contemporary romances, and nice, easy reads that you can mainline in an afternoon. I appreciate the existence of these kinds of novels but I have come to the conclusion that I do not like her writing, and this one was particularly bad. Her dialogue is unrealistic and her characters are not at all well-rounded. The main character, Hannah Martin, is obsessed with cinnamon buns and wearing her hair in a high bun, and Reid apparently thought these facts were enough to form a personality because she mentioned them approximately 347 times throughout the book. 0/10 do not recommend.

The last book I read this month was Everything You Want Me to Be by Mindy Mejia. This novel is a murder mystery, told from three perspectives in two timelines - one, before the murder and one after. It started out fairly strong, but I lost interest about halfway through and found myself skim reading the last 100 pages because, while I didn’t care about any of the characters, I wanted to know who the murderer was. It wasn’t a great conclusion - there were three different “twists” in the wrap-up and final one was just a little tooooo convenient.

- the podcasts -

Podcasts, podcasts, podcasts!

My job is extremely dull, so I’ve been keeping myself entertained for eight hours a day with a ton of podcasts. This month, I got into The Hilarious World of Depression, Heavyweight, Someone Knows Something, Nancy and 2 Dope Queens. If you’re looking for true crime, try Someone Knows Something. If you like frank, compassionate conversations about mental health, listen to The Hilarious World of Depression. If you like This American Life-esque human stories, Heavyweight is for you. If you’re looking for a podcast about the LGBTQ+ experience from two queer, people of colour, try Nancy. (Actually, you know what, literally everyone should listen to Nancy - it’s wonderful). If you like to laugh, listen to 2 Dope Queens. (I’ve been muffling laughter at my desk every day listening to Phoebe Robinson, Jessica Williams and their stand-up comic guests. Start with ‘#25 A Jon Hamm Sandwich’, it made me cry-laugh).

If you have any recommendations for me, hit me up here or on Twitter! I’m always looking for new podcasts!

- miscellaneous -

In April, I saw City & Colour live in concert for the fourth time. The shows are always amazing, but this one was truly special - two hours of just Dallas Green with a guitar surrounded by twinkly lights (aka. what I imagine heaven to be).

The Vancouver Symphony Orchestra launched a Harry Potter Film Concert series July 2016 with the Philosopher’s Stone, and this month, they returned with Chamber of Secrets. In this series, the orchestra performs the soundtrack (composed by John Williams) while the film plays on a large screen above the stage. It was an incredibly cool experience. My friend and I went dressed in our house colours (Gryffindor and Ravenclaw, respectively) and the audience was filled with cosplayers and people decked head-to-toe in Hogwarts merch. At the start of the show, the conductor encouraged us to clap and cheer for our favourite moments and characters, to laugh and boo and interact with the material. I’ve already bought tickets for Prisoner of Azkaban, which will run this July.

My parents hold season tickets at a local theatre, so every month they see a different play from the season roster. This month, my dad had a conflict, so I went with my mom to see The Out Vigil, a play written by Julie McIsaac and set in present-day Newfoundland. The cast is made up of only five people - three actors and two musicians - but they have an enormous presence. Act One is rather slow, but Act Two is incredibly compelling and the play features such rich relationships and an interesting magical realism element. Support local theatre!

This month, I also went to see Beauty & the Beast. It is my favourite Disney movie off all time, but the live action version lacked so much of the charm of the animated film.

I haven’t been listening to much music lately. Music gives my brain too much time to wander, so I’ve been distracting it with podcasts and audiobooks. But, two songs did get stuck in my head this month. Harry Styles’ first solo single, ‘Sign of the Times’, was released on April 7th. It’s all glam rock and falsetto and drama. It’s long, running nearly six minutes, and slow, but I love it because I love him and I cannot wait until his full album is released (May 12th! Pre-order it!). Lorde’s new single ‘Green Light’ is the other song that has been playing in my head on a loop. It is an extremely good song to listen to while stuck in traffic on a sunny day with your windows and sunroof open.

#april wrapup #apr2017 #wrapup

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