#i typically stop tagging spoilers a week after the episode comes out but i’ll keep it up for the whole series for a few weeks!

[bucksapartment]

I haven’t watched the Kenobi show yet but I want to and I will and I am so so grateful to you for tagging your spoilers.

i’m trying my best to be diligent about it so i’m glad it’s working! i’ll keep tagging them for a few weeks cause everyone should get the experience of watching for the first time. hope you enjoy:))

[halfgclden]

EPISODE 32: A MAJOR OCCURANCE

The sound of spooky intro music plays and fades out. As the microphone clicks on, faint sounds of water and traffic can be heard in the background.

JADE: Hello cryptwizzlers, cryptrackers, but never cryptormentors because we’re all friends here. Welcome to a very special episode of Cryptwins in which we are not actually researching a cryptid. But! Before you shut this off and call us hacks, we are instead researching the recent disappearance of social media fitness guru; Edison Major.

More spooky music plays. There is also the sound of fingers tapping a rhythm. It's typical Joel, unable to contain his energy as he taps the dashboard in time with their intro music.

JOEL: Weeeeeeeell...Maybe we are hacks. —a pause as he laughs— Nah, just kidding. This is the real deal. I'm not sure you're ready for this. This is some spooky, and excuse my French, spooky shit. Tell us more about this Major disappearance? —another laugh— Get it?

JADE: [A short laugh-sigh is let out at Joel’s joke.] Okay, before we begin, two things. One, get ready for the barrage of major and minor jokes, courtesy of Joel here.

JOEL: Got a whole list, be ready! He lets Jade finish, but listeners can still hear the tapping sound while she speaks.

JADE: Secondly, we’re still on the road here, so if the audio is bad or choppy... deal with it? —another small laugh— Anyyyyway. Spooky is right. This all began in September of last year, when @majored posted a picture of himself in a dark basement wearing a weird costume and then immediately went off the grid. And, you know, I’m all for a social media cleanse, people do it all the time. Buuut, what really brought this to our attention was a month later, on Halloween Eve of all nights, when a video popped up of him getting his ass kicked by someone in a Kakashi Hatake costume.

JOEL: Now, I know y'all are asking yourselves "Isn't he a fitness guru? Why was some weeb kickin' his ass?" And to that I say hey! Some weebs are strong, some are Super Saiyan, and others are Kakashi Hatake, the most talented ninja in Konohagukure.

JADE: lets out a laughing wheeze.

JOEL: We don't endorse fighting here. But I digress —a laugh— back on topic. So this guy just up and disappears out of nowhere? And there's not a peep of him until we see Kakashi givin’ him the business. What does this all mean?

JADE: Okay, so, let’s get the full story. @majored goes off the grid, comes back to get his ass kicked by a Naruto character, disappears again, comes back to spit on someone and call them a see you next Tuesday, and then disappears again. And he hasn’t come back online. So what’s up with that? Well... we did a little digging.

Another spooky noise plays over the sound of Jade organizing a stack of papers.

JOEL: Daaaaaaang. I’d say those are some fightin' words, especially from someone who keeps pulling a vanishing act, don’t ya think?

JADE: They really are! I mean, he is from New Zealand, but even so, I think you don’t use that word unless you want to attract some attention. -She clicks her tongue as she gets back on topic- The video was originally posted the night before Halloween of last year, by @ime.are on Twitter. Obviously they got a lot of hate and questions after posting this, but all of them were left unanswered. The only person in the video that was tagged was Major, but upon further examination, this Ime seems to follow and have pictures with someone who happened to be dressed as Kakashi that same night, which has led many to speculate that these ninjas are the same person.

JOEL: So we all know Halloween's a spooooky season. Perfect for parties and all that jazz. But all those costumes make it a perfect time for disguises. Was that even the real Major? Was the person who spit the real Major? Who is this Ime and how do they fit into the story? And who— a pause for dramatic effect and muffled laughter as he tries to stay serious— is this mystery ninja? Tell us more!

JADE: Alright, alright. So this mystery ninja goes by Abel, or @_kllledbycain on the Gram. At first glance, they look pretty much like every other TikTok e-boy; black and white photos, pet snake, the insinuation that they’re dead, whole nine yards.

JOEL: snorts when Jade announces their handle, and again at her eboy comment, wheezing. It's true, it's true!

JADE: And this stuff is so common right now, so nothing really raises any eyebrows, right? Right? Well, tell me, why would a Tik Tok goth go around beating the crap out of a random influencer? Stay tuned for the theory. First, we’re gonna take a step back and look at the whole situation, because, of course, it doesn’t end there.

JOEL: Ohhhh snap! I'm on the edge of my seat, and I bet our listeners are too.

JADE: [clears her throat] So if we go back to the original poster of the video, @ime.are, and we take a look at their Insta, who is on it but... @devinitely? Okay, so @devinitely is in the same place as @majored, clearly, and, for anyone that doesn’t know, she’s been doing a bunch of collabs with @loganvance. This places not one, not two, but three influencers all together in this place where weebs are running around assaulting people.

JOEL: Okay. Okay, I need to know! Where are they? What's bringing all these influencers together? Are @devinitely and @loganvance part of something much more sinister than it seems? [He makes a funny face at Jade and wiggles his fingers, before dropping his voice to a stage-whisper.] Is it some kind of twisted influencer cult?

JADE: Shhhh, Joel, spoilers.

JOEL: [He laughs.] Sorry, sorry!

JADE: [muffled laughter over the sound of more papers rustling.] So, any skeptics out there might say, oh, well, this Ime Are is just a lucky person who happens to be in the presence of more than one social media personality. However, Devin follows the weeb that may or may not have kicked Major's ass. And, according to a cast photo of Rocky Horror, on her boyfriend's Instagram, both the weeb in question and the hot man that tore the two apart were part of the cast. This would be a great time to mention that a link to the video is in the description, as are all the pictures from social media that I'm referencing.

JOEL: [to Jade but loud enough for the mic to pick it up at regular volume] Oh snap, you got everything together in a link? Like, I could click the link to check it out right now? — A pause as he does just that.— Woah, cryptwizzlers, she's not kidding. Click the link in bio, you won't be disappointed. Okay, Jade...hear me out. Given that it was Halloween, the night of nights. Do you think that...maybe it was all an elaborate event? Was it staged? Is any of this real?

JADE: Oh, my dear brother, always the skeptic. Don’t you think that it’s a bit much for him to stop posting entirely in order to get publicity? And we mustn’t forget the spitting on someone in South Dakota, that’s not exactly his brand. Unless he’s trying out something like Taylor Swift and Reputation but... I digress. No, I don’t think any of this is staged, and I’ll tell you why. Let’s go back to the weird cow print basement post. You know who also happened to post something about some cowboy party? Oh, um, Devin’s boyfriend? A picture of him, Devin, and Logan? Which... puts them and Major in the same place on the night that he disappeared.

JOEL: Not a skeptic! Just trying to get all these questions answered. —A laugh— You're right, that's 180 from the online presence he used to have. All theories aside, —a pause— I'd love to go to a cowboy party. Get me a glow-in-the-dark cowboy hat. You know they make 'em. —He laughs again, mouthing 'what?' to Jade.—

JADE: Oh, def. We're getting matching hats. Check out our merch in a few weeks —she laughs— Glow in the dark mothman themed cowboy hats, talk about a niche.

JOEL: Snap, we have to do that now, 'cause I want one real bad. But okay, back on track. This cowboy party. The origin of this theory, yeah? Oh snap...what were those three doing in the same place as Major? And all in cow print too? That's....majorly suspicious! [He trails off into laughter, his voice doing that wheezy thing when someone's trying to finish their sentence before cracking up. Recovering, he adds the following.] Wait, wait, wait. What about—

JADE: Yes, yes, yes. —she cuts Joel off as though he's finished his sentence, chuckling at his joke— Patience, my dear twin, we will get there. —the smile is evident in her voice—

JOEL: I feel like somehow, I ended up as your Padawan for this episode. — he laughs—

JADE: You heard it here, I'm absolutely schooling Joel this episode. — she laughs— First, we're going to backtrack all the way to the original poster again. You know we snooped their whole page, and they're pretty regularly posting pictures with this person, @rengaaay, who isn't an influencer but she makes some of those sick ass roller skating videos... this isn't sus, just cool, link in the description. —a slight pause as she tries to get back to her train of thought— Anyway, what is sus is that she tags two people in her photos all the time... But no joke guys check out their Insta profiles they look different in like every other picture. Which, uh, could just be editing but also could be something.... more sinister? Hold onto that thought.

JOEL: That's such a good handle, dang! Better than @lumberjoel, honestly. I have to say I'm jelly. We should get branded rollerskates, maybe @rengaaay can advertise for us if we ship them. JK...unless? —more laughter as he waits for Jade to get back on the train and pulls up the profiles in question to take a look for himself— Huh...is it editing? Are they masters of disguise? Makeup professionals? —He starts to say something else but is pretty sure he's figured out where Jade's going with this.— What could be more sinister than human chameleons?

JADE: [The sound of papers shuffling can be heard] Oh, yeah, so, it's weird but I think every time the siblings are in a pic together they look more like each other? I dunno if this really makes sense but seriously dudes check the post with this episode because it has a bunch of photos side by side and... yeah. You pull a photo of them by themself and it's like okay, I know what this dude looks like and then you put them side by side and... I dunno, makeup? Contacts? Cloning, mayhaps? And, just so that I'm not just holding on to one thing too much... check their post from August 12th, linked below. Their brother... doesn't have a shadow. Why would you edit that out of a photo? No way are they going that hard to be memelords.

JOEL: Okay, let me look at this. Wha— That's weird as hell. How much hair dye do these two use? Hm. Could be clones? —snaps his fingers—Definitely clones. —he snorts loudly, laughing before clearing his throat— Ahem, uh. No shadow? That's dedication! I dunno, maybe it's some new challenge for the 'gram. Oh...but wait. I found a video. Look, Jade. No shadow. In a video. What the—

JADE: A video, guys. —A moment of muffled laughter before her mic cuts out, but the sound of it clicking on again is followed almost immediately— This is a big family, guys, and a big weird one because their other brother @sleepyfinch... Okay, wait, he himself is pretty normal, super cute, shout out, but guys, ghouls, you know who he has tagged in a recent post? Yet another influencer. Except this one is from Italy? @gaborealis; essentially, he’s a medium, so if you didn’t believe that the supernatural were at play beforehand... buckle up.

JOEL: Wait, wait, I'm still on the video thing. Who has time to edit a video? —his voice cracks when he says video and he covers his laughter as he focuses—

JADE: [wheezing] Shut up —there is no malice in her voice, and she’s laughing too.—

JOEL: So weird, I love it. Oh snap— the @gaborealis? It's time to get ghosty! —echoes "ghosty" and hums the Cha Cha Slide tune for a couple seconds— Okay, so wait. Does this mean everyone's favorite medium is also in the same place as...three? Three other influencers and this weird family of....maybe shapeshifters? No? Too crazy a theory?

JADE: You know what they say, cryptoddlers; no theory is too crazy. Everything Einstein came up with? Theory.

JOEL: Bringing Einstein into it, huh?

JADE: Oh you know it. —a snort— Anyway, according to Devin’s boyfriend’s Instagram, it doesn’t end there. @spencerkeahi, a youtuber and disability rights advocate who comes from Hawaii is also there with that gaggle. Shout out to @elidrising for tagging people and location. So what are these influencers from all corners of the globe gathering together for? Well, let’s take a look at the original poster again. You go on their Twitter, and a few months back it’s all just videos of people... fighting? In some sort of underground place. Mayhaps... the same creepy basement that Major posted his last photo? —a small gasp, as though she’s surprised by this— No, that must be a coincidence... or is it?

Another spooky sound plays

JOEL: @elidrising is the man, dang! Are you tellin' me there's a...—he lowers his voice to a whisper— secret influencers-only Fight Club? I wouldn't put it past @devinitely TBH. Honestly, I'd join one...even though I guess I've broken the first rule but talking about it, huh? Actually— Jay, do you think we'd even be allowed to join? Are podcasters influencers? Poll in my story right now, let us know what y'all think.

JADE: Right now? Joel, this isn’t going up for another week, at least. —She’s obviously trying to sound less amused than she’s coming off— Once we get the blue check we’re influencers, so we’ve got a few million followers to go, I think.

JOEL: Yeah, right now! They'll hear that when the episode goes up and respond in real ti— Oh, no. You're right. Oops. No poll in my story, y'all. False alarm. Blue check, huh? You heard it here, cryptwizzlers, we're gonna get that blue check. Tell your friends, tell your family. Heck, tell that cute barista at your coffee shop to listen to our podcast! We might just do a giveaway when we get that lil' blue swoosh.

JADE: [clears her throat.] You know what’s a great way to get us that blue check, though?

A different, light sort of spooky music begins playing in the background, meaning that it’s time for the ad break

JOEL: Take it away!

JADE: Checking out a little app called Creature Comforts. Alright guys, not that this show isn’t one hundred percent real as it is, but for real, I love this app. A dating sim that features everyone’s favorite... for lack of a better term, monsters. Did you watch the Shape of Water and go, “Damn, I’d tap that”? Do you want to snuggle with a Sasquatch? Do you just wish you could find yourself a GF with more eyes? Well, have we got the app for you. Creature Comforts lets you do all this and more. A choose-your-own-adventure game where you can smooch beasts, marry Mothman, and ignore the outside world. It’s seriously all I want. And, if you enter the code cryptwins— that’s the name of the podcast you’re listening to, no capital letters, when you download the app, then it’s only 99 cents to play without ads. Which, trust me ghouls, is worth it. I don’t want anything interrupting my cut scene with the most stunning eyes in West Virginia.

JOEL: Don't forget that scuba diving date with Nessie! Or, or...that half-day hike with Bigfoot. —he's laughing again smh— There's a reason Jade does the ad reads and not me. But, I can tell you that Mothman is sure to sweep you off your feet. And it's not just because he can fly.

JADE: It’s the —a pause for finger snapping— alliteration for me. But that’s Creature Comforts, exactly how you think you’d spell it, don’t ask us ‘cause we’re dyslexic, and cryptwins, like the name of this podcast. Tweet us @cryptwins to let us know how far along you are, who you’re pursuing, and what mysteries you unlock about their backstories. Now... I think it’s time for a timeline, just to get us sorted out, what do you think, Joel?

JOEL: Personally, I'm still tryin' to land a date with the Creature from the Black Lagoon. I guess we'll see what happens. Aw heck yeah! Give us a timeline, give us the dirt. — a laugh — Give the people what they want!

JADE: Okay — the shuffling of paper is heard once more — We start in September: @majored goes off the grid after posting a creepy picture of himself in a weird outfit in a spooky basement. This is around the same time that the Scarlet Surfer was in NYC for fashion week, which @majored accompanied him to, meaning that it isn’t entirely out of the question for him to still be in New York. Also on social media at this time is @devinitely and @loganvance also both is cowboy outfits, though the creepy basement is absent from both of them.

JOEL: I guess September isn't too early for weird Halloween stuff to start? What with the spooky basement and everything. Right? And everyone loves a cowboy moment— or have cowboys become the new clown? I heard there was a clown renaissance and people like them now? I don't really know where we stand on the whole clown— what?

JADE: I see our next hot debate. Cowboys: Hot or not? Personally, I liked cow print, but I can see cowboys going out soon. Once they reach killer clown status is when it’ll be ideal for me.

JOEL: Personally, I vote hot. And uhhh, not to kinkshame you Jay, but killer clowns are a no from me.

JADE: [tsks] Kinkshamed, by my own brother no less.

JOEL: [a loud laugh] You know I'm just kidding. No kinkshaking, ya heard? I'd literally let the Jersey Devil step on me so. To each their own.

JADE: [snorting] Um, gross.

JADE: Now to October: There is a production of Rocky Horror, a cast photo is uploaded to @elidrising, the account of @devinitely’s boyfriend. This places not only @devinitely and @loganvance in Montauk, but it also places @crispyboiz and @_kllledbycain in Montauk too. These are two of the people that are suspected to belong in the video by @ime.are, in which (suspected) @_kllledbycain, dressed as Kakashi Hatake attacked @majored, only to be torn apart by good citizen @crispyboiz. This video is the first that we’ve seen of @majored since his last post, and he offers nothing in response to it.

JOEL: Okay. Okay. Now, you know I love a good shadow-cast of Rocky Horror. I've always wanted to play Frank. I would rock that part. Am I wrong? —he laughs— But okay, that's - count 'em - three influencers in one place? If @elidrising is there, we can assume @devinitely is too because she was in the same location as, uh, whatshername? Logan? And that's the same location as @ime.are. Who took the video of  Kakashi kicking @majored's ass. @_kllledbycain— more like killedbyKakashi, eh? Seriously why are all these people together?

JOEL: [as an afterthought] It's gotta be a cult.

JADE: November to December: Nothing happens with @majored, @ime.are also offers nothing except for quote unquote “#teamkakashi”, which is funny because they never tagged Kakashi, but anyways. Upon deeper inspection, there are videos on their Twitter from last May, of people in a fighting ring. And then people fighting on a lake? But the fighting ring looks super dangerous and I dunno, like you said, cult-y? Fight-club-y? Call it what you will. In any case, we are led to believe that this fighting has been going on for some time in the background.

JOEL: Okay, come on. That’s definitely a cult. I’ve seen the movie, can confirm. — he groans— Literally what is an Italian astrologer doing there? Wait, wait, wait. Montauk? You said Montauk. Montauk, as in on Long Island. As in like —he drops his voice to a stage-whisper— the part of Long Island that peeps believe to be the site of a government cover-up involving kidnapping, mind control, and time travel? The part that inspired Stranger Things? That Montauk? Snap. I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together sooner. Jade, Jade. What if this is, I don’t know, like, MKUltra 2.0?

JADE: Yes, yes that Montauk, I’m glad you picked up on that. Look, I’m not saying that it’s an influencer’s-only thing, but I am saying that some might be in the area, and maybe involved. At the same time throughout all of this, we have a culmination of more influencers seeming to know this network of people. @gaborealis, an Italian astrologer, is seen in pictures of @sleepyfinch, who was also in the production of Rocky Horror, and has pictures with @crispyboiz and, god, this name is a freaking nightmare, @_kllledbycain. Not to mention this guy has many pictures of weird… family members? Who sometimes look alike? Okay, but seriously, @kodakola and @sonofpeter, how is your hair not straw at this point? Is it wigs? I think my hair would simply fall out. And y’all using Insta filters or what, cause… I’m not gonna get into it, let’s keep going.

JOEL: Maybe they're makeup vloggers or something. Gotta change up the look for views, right? Don't forget to like, comment, subscribe and uhhhh, smash that follow button— or whatever YouTubers say. —he laughs— Okay but seriously, yeah. @sonofpeter, @kodakola, whatever you two are doing to your hair, let me know because I'm trying to bleach my hair and dye it bright purple without it falling out. And since we're doing it at our next stop, well, your advice will probably be too late. But still, what are your secrets? Is it...clones?

JADE: Joel! —she’s laughing again.— Timeline and then theories. —she clears her throat— After that long silence, a Tweet emerges. January 8th. "Can’t believe @majored SPAT on me and called me a C-Blank-Blank-T when he checked into @SDFamilyMotel last night”. This places Major across the country from where we believed him to be, but acting so strangely that one must wonder… was that really him? Or was it someone that just looked like him? Or was it a cry for help? Nothing’s been heard since from @majored, which I guess… leads us to our theories. —a pause— You were saying… clones, Joel?

JOEL: Sheeeeesh, this is not @majored's year. I gotta say, this sounds totally different from the vibe that this guy used to put out on his social media. Obviously Instagram is fake blah blah blah, you know the spiel, but like. Damn. He spit on them? —a pause as he considers what his sibling has said— You know....I think that's a really good point. Was that even the real him? Will the real Ed Major please stand up?

JADE: I know. It just seems out of character, and terrible for a reputation, but it also would make sense if... One, this is a fake @majored, meant to stir up controversy before he goes underground again. And with an action like spitting on someone and calling them a name like that? Who cares what the dude does after that? Unfollowed, cancelled, whatever. And why would this guy want to go underground, well, I'm glad you're so interested. Well, the official Cryptwins theory is that maybe... just maybe, the crazy, government cover-up Montauk that we all know and love isn't that far from truth. We see that they have means of covering up shadows —she lets out a laugh— and people whose faces just change? And who else is there, @spencerkeahi, someone who explains rehabilitation, maybe someone who has experience helping people get used to being a clone? @ime.are, a nurse who enjoys taking videos of people fighting? It all adds up, people!

JOEL: Yeah, seriously. With the real @majored MIA, there would be no one to combat the backlash from this supposed...clone? Imposter? And maybe that’s what they want. Looks like Montauk isn’t the ideal vacation spot anymore, huh? Even if their seaside cabins are super chill and homey. But I digress. Something sinister is going on. Something bigger than we can even imagine. A secret underground facility that’s...cloning influencers? Training them? Your guess is as good as mine. And that’s why we’re on this road trip, isn’t that right Jade? To get some answers?

JADE: Exactly. —it sounds as though she is holding back a laugh or a cough.— Cross country roadtrip in which we explore different topics like this one, and on the way, we'll document our progress and any spooky encounters. Check out our insta, @cryptwins to get all the updates, and consider hitting us up on Patreon if you want us to be able to afford the gas to get all the way to the east coast.

JOEL: I’ll be posting behind the scenes content in the “ROADTRIP” highlight on my Insta throughout the trip so be sure to check my stories. You might get lucky and find some special codes for Creature Comforts but, hey. You didn’t hear it from me. -he laughs and there’s the distinct sound of a bag of chips being opened- What Jade meant to say is gas and snack money. So yeah, go go go! Check out the Patreon! We might even do a giveaway at the end of our trip, get you guys some cool souvenirs we pick up on our travels. Not a bad idea, eh?

JADE: Joel, my ears are literally bleeding right now. Thanks. Anyway, our second theory will also be exclusive to our Patrons, so be sure to get the full video there. Cryptwins... out...

Her voice fades out and the music from the beginning fades in, takes over, and plays until the end of the track.

[jandjsalmon]

Can I do all three? Or whatever combination you want? Why Betty and Jughead? I know for me, I liked season one, I wrote jokey reviews for my friends on season one and posted them on Facebook, and I was Googling spoilers (or something, or maybe something about Coachella) at the end of season one, and found Fall in Light, and that was that (this is abbreviated, but basically what happened). So what was your journey? Please and thank you! PS- just framed two paintings for the living room.

YOU are a joy and a delight, my friend. Just have to say that. Which artist painted your new living room décor? 

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did:

OOOKAY. So the Bughead question - I actually started shipping Bughead from the very beginning. I started watching when there were only two episodes on Netflix Canada. I watched them both the same day and by the end of the second episode I knew they were the ship for me when this happened: 

So SO good on the Riverdale director of photography’s part - because that is some super sweet foreshadowing there with the out of/into focus stuff. It might have also had something to do with Cole’s collarbones and/or whole aesthetic. I sought out fanfiction immediately (as I am wont to do when I find a new ship or show) and there were, I think, about 130 fics on the archive. We’ve come a long way since then. :)

my thoughts: I like that quote Cole had after last season where it said he’d like to play Jug as more of a morally grey character - someone who believes the ends justify the means. It’s interesting because I have long felt that Jughead was the conscience of the town. Not Betty (as some people suggested) - who I really do think would do all sorts of sneaky things to keep the people she loves safe. I am hopeful and excited to see how this goes. :)

What makes me happy about them: The fact that they are eachother’s #1 support and love and soulmate. They’re SO pretty to look at. Their aesthetic of the pretty and pink girl next door and the plaids and layers of the boy from the other side of the tracks. It’s a pretty aesthetic. Add to that the childhood friends to lovers thing. The absolute devotion and love and trust they have for eachother. They get eachother more than anyone else does. They just make me SO happy.

What makes me sad about them: That they can’t just be regular teenagers. Their parents treating them so poorly. 

things done in fanfic that annoys me: LOL so many things. I’ll force myself to refrain from discussing the typical ‘lack of a good beta’ issues I see regularly - like the grammar/spelling/punctuation/tense problems. Plotwise - I don’t read fics where either of them are VASTLY out of character. You can have an AU and still have them sound and act like themselves. A good AU should be “what would our characters do if dropped into this situation” rather than self-inserting wish fulfilment and I often ask myself “if I changed the name of this character - would it still sound like Jughead or would I feel like I’ve fallen into ?” - I’ll still occasionally read a fic like that - but let’s call a spade a spade, shall we? I don’t like cheating - whether it’s on eachother or on other people. I hate the fics that have Jughead become this massive addict or alcoholic or complete manwhore. I hate when Betty is written as someone incredibly broken and damaged. At some point it’s just character torture. Oooh and retaliation against the writers. It’s really clear when an author thinks that they’re going to spite write a story because they’re mad at how canon turned out. It’s fine to write AU - but it makes my eye roll when an author figures that they can ignore two seasons worth of serpent jug because they want him to be more feminist/manic pixie dream than he is. I hate when prose is so purple we could almost call it ‘Grimace’ - because at some point the author wants you to notice the pretty writing rather than the actual plot and characters of their story. I hate when dialogue sounds unnatural - and I hate when characters shout and yell in moments when they really shouldn’t…. it’s like the Dumbledore and “did you put your name in the goblet of fire?” thing… where suddenly you go… WOAH Michael Gambon! Calm your tits! Um… what else bugs me in fic? Bad tagging? If you’re going to kill a character - please tag. If you’re going to have the faves snogging someone else… tag it. I don’t want to see my notp shagging even if it’s for “plot.” This could go on for a while, so I’m going to stop here. lol.

things I look for in fanfic: Solid Characterization. A happily ever after (always). Clever banter. Tropes (they’re tropes for a reason). If there is angst and unhappiness… I want some payoff before the end of the story. Like, if I have to sit through them pining from afar - at least eventually give me kisses. Emotional rollercoasters and character torture isn’t for me. I need the payoff. 

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: I’m monogamous when it comes to my Bughead. I firmly believe Jughead is completely Bettysexual and has loved her since he understood what love was (since she shared her cookies with him in Kindergarten) - and as for Betty… if she were to find love without Juggie, it would have to be in a universe where there was no Jughead - and it would have to be away at college with some guy who isn’t a canon character… and except in one small case of “kinky excellence” - I wouldn’t want to read about it at all. 

My happily ever after for them: University graduated. Published Jughead. Mom and Dad to three kids - happily married, holding on to one another through every trial life throws at them. Both working hard in their prospective fields (which generally turns out to be some kind of sleuthing/investigating/writing) - and both just happy and to go to school concerts, elementary school sports games, science fairs, and to give their children the love and support they didn’t have from their parents growing up. Breaking the cycle.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Jug is the big spoon. Betty rests her head on his chest while he sleeps on his back. He winds his hands in her gold hair and breathes easy knowing she’s safe right there beside him.

what is their favorite non-sexual activity: In the future - it’ll be Jones Family Movie Night every week with their children (something I’ve done with my kids for the last ten years) with popcorn and cookies and no devices at all - but where they are right now? Sleuthing and Milkshakes. Or sitting beside each other, her feet in his lap while they’re both reading… or better yet, he’s typing away on his laptop, idling rubbing her foot, while she’s reading beside him.

Send me a ship/character and I’ll answer these questions…

[aparticularbandit]

Hey, have you seen the latest JtV episode yet? Wondered what you thought of certain developments.

so.  i apologize ahead of time because this will probably get long.  i plan to start with the non-rose and/or luisa scenes and then give a general idea of what i want to do with that discussion before throwing most of that one beneath the cut.  i especially apologize to those of you on mobile because i know that it doesn’t always do the read more stuff correctly and i’m so sorry.also know that i. really don’t want to write this right now, but i want to get my thoughts out because maybe then i’ll stop ruminating over it (hah!).so, first of all, i’ve seen the scenes relevant to this discussion.  which means i haven’t paid attention to the entire episode but i have seen rose’s scenes and luisa’s scenes (sort of) and then the scene in regards to mateo being diagnosed with adhd.  i very rarely see the shows live, although i saw some of last week’s live, and typically scroll through spoilers to see if anything that interests me (rose or lusia) is in the episode.  if not, i typically just don’t see it because, to be honest, i don’t care.  spoilers give me enough information and while there may be scenes or moments that i’d probably like that i missed, i didn’t want to deal with love triangle fun with michael or most stuff with raf at this point because spoilers tell me the writing is very, very poor.which means that yes i knew about the adhd diagnosis and what i suspect is the real point of the question here - rose let luisa drink?! what?! - before seeing the episode.  and definitely spent a good chunk of time ranting about the latter in the jtv discord spoilers tag before seeing the episode.  and even knowing it was coming, it still depressed me.  but that’s reactions, not thoughts, which. i have a lot.  from different angles.i do want to address mateo being diagnosed with adhd.  i’m not okay with this happening.  while i do think it’s important for characters to be diagnosed with mental illness in media and i do think that it’s important to delve into those diagnoses, i don’t think jtv will do a good job with this because they haven’t done a good job with this previously.  raf’s depression (again, didn’t see that scene, so going off of spoilers here) was mentioned once and then apparently hasn’t been brought up again (with the exception of potentially being implied with how much of a help luisa has been while he dealt with his break-up with jane and let’s be real here luisa knows more about mental illness at this point than most of the other characters except maybe petra and even then).  petra’s postpartum depression was mentioned i think once and then wasn’t brougt up again.  petra’s anxiety? i think it was? was mentioned in season one in relation to her taking pills and this was diagnosed while raf had cancer and…hasn’t been brought up again.  in fact, the biggest proponent we have outside of this with how jtv deals with mental illness is luisa alver, and her mental illness is consistently used as a joke or a way to make her unreliable.now, yes, adhd is a learning disability and you can debate whether or not that constitutes a mental illness or not.  i apologize if my lumping it in under the mental illness umbrella is a problem.  this is not an illness that i myself have (as far as i know), so please understand that i mean no offense.  my concern is that jtv does not deal with these sorts of things well.  it uses them to drum up drama and then sweeps them under the rug as if they’re a passing thing that is suddenly better or not important until, like in luisa’s case, they want to use it as a plot point or a joke again.  and the thing is that they already in the episode used mateo’s adhd to make a visual joke on what it was like to have adhd.  this is not okay.further, their focus isn’t on the character who has the disability.  they’re using the disability to drum up drama for the character’s parents.  again, this is not okay.  it is good to let the characters have that reaction to what the child is going through, but it may - or i’m concerned that it’ll turn into one of those moments where it focuses only on the pain of the parents and how they live with a child with this issue and not on the character who. actually has the issue.  as someone with mental illnesses, this does not sit well with me.and they did this with nine episodes left.  even if they were going to deal with this well, it’s hard to do so within nine episodes, especially considering the other threads they have going.  at this point, i don’t trust the writers and i’m not okay with this happening.  i dislike this development.now with regards to the rose and luisa scenes, in particular the scene they shared together and the developments from this–really there are two ways to take this as far as rose’s character interpretation (rose as a sociopath who truly loves luisa and for whom this development has an aspect that feels really out of character from what we have seen of her OR rose as a sociopath psychopath who did some has been setting up a lot of pins for a payoff that we…can guess would end with luisa finally officially choosing her? this one is a little more shaky) and two ways to take this as far as how this will work out in the show with regards to luisa (is she actually siding with rose or is she using this to fake her out and finally prove herself to raf once and for all).so.  this is a long discussion.  UNDER THE CUT.

so let’s start with the important thing: luisa signing papers while she was apparently black out drunk on rose’s submarine.the first thing i want to comment on in relation to this is that rose giving all of her bank accounts to luisa can have a lot of different implications.  the first one, and the nicest in my opinion, is that consolidating bank accounts is something married people do.  or they open a joint account.  something like that.  so, symbolically, you can have the implication of rose and luisa being married.  woo-hoo!  the second one is, again, the potential risk that rose is taking here.  just like with her kill sheet, rose is basically giving luisa the keys to the kingdom where she is concerned, and for someone who (in my interpretation) has been under elena’s thumb and control for the majority of her life to just give herself over to luisa’s control says a lot about what luisa means to rose.  the third implication will be addressed later.the second thing i want to comment on is, of course, the idea that luisa was black out drunk on rose’s submarine.  now, when i initially was going through the spoiler tag, someone suggested that this might have happened when luisa was drugged on the submarine, which would imply that this happened during the period of time when rose took her to the sub.  (i tend to not think that rose drugged luisa at that time; i actually think that luisa fainted shortly after rose revealed that she was susanna.  but that might just be me.)  however, based on the specific lines of the scene, this cannot be the case.  in fact, it has to have happened after luisa initially left the sub.  we know from s3 that during the time luisa was initially on the sub they were circling the great barrier reef (coral reef?  they were circling a reef), not taking random vacations to other locations like madagascar.  not only that, but rose says it happened while luisa was insecure about their relationship, and they were not in a relationship during the scenes we saw on the submarine.  so this had to have happened sometime after that - maybe before we met eileen or maybe during the three year time-skip sometime at the beginning of all that.  i’d guess before we met eileen, but that’s just me.  further, i did look at screencaps from the scene where they ate breakfast on the sub because the back of my brain keeps trying to tell me that one of the men was carrying champagne, but while there were tea and orange juice cups (they did each have two cups, a white tea cup and saucer and a glass with a tropical leaf pattern - rose’s had orange juice so i assume that’s what it was for), in the caps i saw, there was no champagne bottle.  but they weren’t all comprehensive screencaps so might’ve missed a thing.now, here’s where things are up to interpretation and it all depends on rose’s character.if we take rose as we have seen her throughout the series - not what people have said but what we have seen with regards to luisa - the idea that rose let luisa drink at all on the sub or while they were together feels completely out of character.rose consistently when no one else but luisa would likely know has made sure that luisa is not drinking.  even from their first meeting, when luisa reveals that she’s been sober for thirty-four days, rose accepts that and doesn’t press and continues on as if it doesn’t matter (because it doesn’t).  rose is the one who checks in on luisa after allison cheats on her to make sure that she isn’t drinking; rose is the one who brings up with raf that hey, maybe you should be concerned about your sister disappearing and when raf suggest (without any real concern at all) that luisa is probably on a bender calls luisa and tells her that she’s worried she’s drinking; rose is the one who, when luisa calls her (as susanna), chooses to stay with her and not judge her for taking rose’s death hard and actually accepts that this is hard for her; rose is the one who (as susanna) tells luisa to go back to rehab because she shouldn’t be drinking.  this isn’t even getting into the time where rose just happened to call when luisa was going to try and drink in the hotel after emilio died.  rose has a sixth sense when it comes to luisa.  it is hard for me to see rose letting luisa drink on her sub in any capacity to the point that it is easier for me to think that rose forbade any alcohol on the sub at all.  i could maybe hazard that one of the workers on the sub brought a drink back with them, and since the lettering in the sub appeared to be russian, hey, probably vodka, and we know from s2 that vodka is luisa’s drink of choice, but that’s a stretch for me.even more to the point - and this is a little off-topic in terms of talking about rose’s character - but the times we have seen luisa drawn to drinking were when her life was at rock bottom.  the first time we see this is when 1) she’s losing her job; 2) her brother has cut her off; 3) her wife cheated on her (and they got divorced off-screen??); and 4) she almost got caught sleeping with her stepmother by her father.  the second time we see this is when 1) her father died; 2) her stepmother/lover turned out to be a crime lord; 3) her father died because said stepmother killed him; 4) her brother thought her shares were more important than letting her mourn and only pretended to care about her because he needed to talk business with her and then disappeared after that yolo (and she only didn’t drink because 1) there wasn’t any alcohol in her fridge and 2) rose called her).  the third time we see this is when 1) she accidentally got the love of her life murdered by trying to turn her over to the police by using herself as bait (among her listed reasons of 1) her brother doesn’t want anything to do with her and 2) her mother and father are dead).  the fourth time we see this is when 1) luisa thinks that she is disappointing raf and failing him because 2) rose killed his mom and 3) she still wants to be with rose, albeit this last one is not something the show covers.  please note the common threads here, and also note that this last one would put her in a place to potentially be drinking on rose’s sub if she was picked up by rose instead of going to preventative rehab like she decided to do with rogelio and also assuming that she brought alcohol on the sub with her while rose was preoccupied with something off of the ship.  so, conceivably, luisa could have been in a place to drink on the sub.  maybe.  if that’s the timeline we want to go with.  but if not, luisa probably wouldn’t be at rock bottom and probably wouldn’t feel so desperate to drink.  luisa drinks when she needs to take the edge off.  when she’s with rose, rose takes the edge off.  so really i feel like this is kind of a little out of character for luisa, too.back to topic.the third thing i want to comment on is that rose has never made luisa choose between her and rafael.  she’s never needed luisa to prove that she loved her.  it’s consistently been rose proving her love to luisa because as the crime lord murderer sociopath it makes sense that rose would need to prove that she actually loved luisa (and i think i may have discussed this elsewhere - the entire point of chapter fourteen was proving that rose did love luisa, not just to her but also to the viewers - that rose’s love of luisa was not just part of the rose solano part she had been playing up to that point)  there’s been no doubt that luisa does love rose, but there’s also no doubt that luisa has consistently chosen raf over rose.but this goes back to the submarine scenes in chapter forty-seven.  the biggest conflict in luisa staying with rose is that she still loves raf.  she asks to go up to wi-fi depths to see if raf emailed her, and when there is no email, rose uses this to say look, i’m the one who is here, i’m the one who loves you.  she gives luisa the option to leave (just like she gave her the option to run away with her and respected luisa’s boundary when luisa said no; rose only took luisa with her once luisa fell in love with her again as susanna (who very clearly did not want to be around luisa or in that sort of situation with her. constantly.  luisa pursued susanna, even when susanna visibly did not want to be pursued)).  and when rose realizes that raf might have emailed luisa but they were a day off because time zones, she checks and gives luisa raf’s email.  she gives luisa an option where she can still spend time with raf and rose will just wear a mask and pretend to be someone else.  and when luisa was afraid that rafael’s cancer had returned and decided to leave and gave rose the option to stay behind, despite her certainty that rafael was working with the police, rose went with her.  rose has not, up to this point, forced luisa to choose between them.  rafael has.  so for her to do so here and now might not be completely out of character and for her to ask luisa to prove that she loves her might not be completely out of character either (because relationships require both sides together and rose might be feeling like she’s pulling a lot of weight and not getting very much in return at this point.  i mean.  she is in jail because of how much trust she has given luisa, even knowing - from her time as susanna - that luisa can’t keep her mouth shut - and i want to address this in the latter portion of this exercise) but it still feels out of character because, again, rose has never forced that choice.  rafael has.however.

if we interpret rose differently, based not on what we have seen with luisa but how maybe they want her character interpreted, then luisa drinking on the sub, as well as some other moments we really want to chalk up to rose being a useless lovesick lesbian, make more sense because as a sociopath they might be something rose would allow if she got something out of it.primarily luisa.and for this i kind of want to go in chronological order of what rose would have been doing when, which means we’ll kind of be addressing these a little bit out of order.  ish.first, rose giving luisa her kill sheet.  this is a big indication of trust.  one that does eventually come to bite rose in the ass.  and rose, because she was susanna, knows that luisa cannot keep her mouth shut when it comes to the police, so if they end up in that sort of situation, rose is screwed.  rose knows she is screwed.  rose knows she can get out of jail, so this is potentially not as big of an issue or indicator of trust as we think it is.  but for luisa, it’s an indicator of trust and an indicator that rose will do what she wants.second, rose giving luisa rafael’s letter.  we can assume from this that rose has access to luisa’s email account.  it’s possible that luisa just stayed logged in.  who knows.  for this interpretation, we’re going with the darker version of rose, so let’s assume that rose just reads luisa’s emails to make sure she’s not getting anything that would distract her away from rose.  in this case, yeah, rose gives luisa rafael’s letter because 1) there’s nothing inherently dangerous or coded in what he said, so far as she can see, and 2) it gets luisa to trust her as someone who, seeing this, would want to allow luisa to still have her relationship with raf.third, rose coming up with an idea that allows luisa to have the best of both worlds, basically.  again, an indicator that rose wants to be family and will do what she has to in regards to being with luisa.  1) rose’ll wear a mask, and 2) rose won’t kill anyone anymore.  surprisingly for this interpretation, she does stick to the second one.  but this plays into her plot anyway.fourth, rose getting luisa drunk and signing her accounts over to her.  assume that rose notices that there’s alcohol on the ship where luisa can get it or that luisa brings alcohol on the ship and rose pretends not to see it so that luisa can get drunk.  signing her bank accounts over to luisa does two things: 1) it reinforces that she trusts luisa and gets luisa to trust her and 2) it ensures that if rose gets caught luisa is part of her getting out.  no matter whether luisa wants to be part of the plot or not, she is an accomplice based on her name being on the accounts.  this makes luisa look shady to rafael and drives a better wedge between them.fifth, rose getting caught.  now, again, there’s a risk, but rose thinks she can get out of jail.  either rafael finally catching her despite luisa’s insistence that he is good will cause a final break between them or her continuing indication of doing what luisa wants and proving to her that she loves her will get luisa on her side.  even with michael - that might be about them, but it’s more about i played ball for you.  i have done everything you asked.  i have shown you nothing but love and support.  i have never asked you to choose.  now choose me.it’s a multi-year timeline set-up to make luisa trust her and her love while also simultaneously driving a wedge between luisa and raf.  and right now, it looks like it’s working.now - the problem i have with this is that it seems much more indicative of a cold-blooded psychopath than the hot-tempered sociopath that the show consistently tells us rose is, so it’s….  for me, it checks out, and it’s not too much of a stretch and i think it may be what the show wants us to pick up on but is not doing a very good job of showing.  (this would have been strengthened if one of the guys on the sub had been carrying a champagne bottle, which is why i wanted to check that - and it’s possible that’s still the case because the screencaps i checked weren’t that specific.)  but, again, it’s up to character interpretation and i do think that this is the direction that the show wants us to go in.even in this direction, we can say that rose’s continued care in regards to luisa not drinking 1) reinforces to luisa that rose cares about her (and this is compounded with rose’s sixth sense and calling just when luisa needs her - once on the bridge right before luisa jumped and once when luisa wanted to drink after emilio’s funeral) and 2) is a bit of a self-preservation habit because luisa likely talks a lot when she’s drunk and, ah, given the sensitive nature of their relationship, luisa needs to not talk about them.  in susanna’s case, the second isn’t a thing but it makes her look like a good girlfriend to anyone watching and so more solidifies susanna as a good person and not the mole.do i like this interpretation?  no.  do i think it’s what the show wants us to go for at this point?  yes.now, as far as ways this could go - there are two:1) luisa is actually working with rose.  this is the good end in the first scenario, but the bad end in the second one.  since i think the show wants us to go with the second interpretation, i think it’s more likely that2) luisa is working against rose.  this is the bad end in the first scenario, but the good end in the second one and the one that, again, i think is more likely given what we know of the show at this point.  and by what we know, i mean the instagram photos of the last day of shooting wherein yara - luisa - was at what appears to be a jafael wedding but bridget - rose - is nowhere to be seen.  and, yes, we could make assumptions that rose could be there under another mask, but i don’t think that’s the way the show is going to go.especially since jennie has already told us that a death is coming near the end of the season.  i expect luisa is working against rose, and i expect that rose will die.  that might not be what’s going on, but i think it’s the most likely scenario given what we have.

[kazosa]

Secrets - SoA: Chapter 14

Summary: Reader has lived in a life full of secrets. When her father dies unexpectedly and sends her on a trip all over the country, she finds out just how much like her father she really is. The end of her trip brings her to Charming, CA where she finally gets some big pieces of her family puzzle put back in place and form new relationships with the people there. Chapter 14: After the hearing at Scoops. Confrontation. Almost smut Warnings: language A/N: If it wasn’t clear before, this takes place after the events of the final episode, SPOILERS! Italics are for Chibs and his inner thoughts. Bold is for the reader’s inner thoughts. Word Count: 1748

Masterlist

Tags: @telford-ortiz-teller  @sam-samcro  @tstieff  @yourcroweater  @kacilove26  @hiddlelove  @evilsorceress  @reallynigga21  @suz-123  @between-shades-of-winchester  @caitcrook  @i-was-made-of-nutella @charlottecl  @gunsnrosesislife  @yoonjigu  @mkindoll2016  @confidencerush  @jade770  @lost-in-the-stories

Despite what her daughter thought, Debbie saw more than she let on and she’d be damned if she bit her tongue. (Y|N) had always been a worry for her. She and Bud had tried so hard to keep her away from the MC life. The last thing she ever wanted was for her only child to get caught up in that mess, and definitely not with the Sons of Anarchy. In a way, she was glad John hadn’t lived to see what that sonofabitch, Clay, had done to her brother’s creation.

Her trip to Charming was, sadly, almost expected. It seemed like anyone that came in contact with SAMCRO ended up needing a lawyer. Debbie had hoped that this trip her husband had sent their daughter on would end up with (Y|N) returning to Iowa with her tail between her legs. She really hadn’t expected her to make it on her own and not for so long.

Over the course of the year (Y|N) was gone, Debbie had come to terms with the fact that not only was she doing just fine on her trip, but that she was also still running the company from the road, with Jack’s help. Seeing (Y|N) with Chibs rubbed her the wrong way, she knew that look, she knew that look all too well. They looked at each other the way she and Bud had. She was not about to let her daughter get cemented into a life of uncertainty and illegal activities. The way his hand went around her shoulders and pulled her in for a kiss on the forehead, was quite enough.

“Filip Telford!” she called out. He tried to bring (Y|N) over with him, the nerve. “Just you.”

“Shit,” he whispered. Not much scared him, but the wrath of that small woman was enough to make the toughest of men cower. He slid into the booth next to Jack. “Debra.”

“Don’t you bring my daughter into this life. Don’t you drag her down with you. She dated that worthless piece of shit, Brandon, when I told her he wasn’t right in the head. The bastard almost killed her. Then she took up with a goddamned car thief who, while he was in PRISON, beat the shit out of Brandon. She didn’t listen to me with him, either. When she’s done working this audit for the shop, she’s coming home if I have to haul her back myself,” she hissed at him.

His body was barely containing the rage and fear he felt. It pissed him off that she even thought that she could control her daughter like that. (Y|N) was a smart girl and could make up her own mind and didn’t need anyone telling her, including himself, what she should do with her life.

“Is that right? And jus’ wha’ makes ye think YOU can make her do anything?” he asked.

“Break it off with her, Chibs, or I’ll make your life here hell,” she warned.

“Deb…” Jack tried to intervene.

“This doesn’t concern you, Jack,” she snipped.

“I hate to break it to you, dear, it doesn’t concern you, either,” he said, apologetically.

She completely ignored Jack. “I’m not a person that makes idle threats, Filip. Don’t test the limits of my good nature.”

What the scariest thing about Debbie was, she said it all with a straight face, completely free of emotion, but her eyes… her eyes said she would do everything in her power to make her threat reality. Debra Teller (Y|L|N) was not a woman to be trifled with.

You were trying to keep an eye on the conversation in the booth. Filip looked very dark, like he might explode at any moment. In typical ice queen fashion, your mother’s face was devoid of emotion, except for her eyes. Her eyes were filled with a knowing hate for the Sons of Anarchy and everything they had stood for. You’d gleaned enough information regarding your mother’s feelings about the Sons over the years and she had not been kind.

Tig was doing his best to distract you, telling you dirty jokes and bad puns.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Tig’s voice went serious for a moment. “You gonna stick around?” he searched your eyes. “The pres. likes having you here.”

“At least until the audit is done, after that, it’s up to him,” you hooked your thumb at Chibs.

Your response seemed to satisfy him for the time being. “Good. Having you around has been the most fun I’ve had in years.”

Happy wandered over to where you and Tig were sitting at the counter. He reached between you two and grabbed an M&M cookie off the plate on the counter.

“Good.” Happy said through a mouthful of cookie, “Chibs is better.”

“Better?” you were confused.

Tig confided, “After we lost everyone, we all took it hard. Chibs took it hardest, plus the weight of running the club. He’s less… pulled down by it all.”

Not knowing what to say, “I… I like him… a lot. I want to stay, but I do have to go home and get things in order there before I can come back. Maybe open a branch out here somewhere. We do enough business this way that we could justify it, I think.”

“Want me to get someone looking for a spot to open shop? I know a guy in real estate, can get you the hookup,” he seemed hopeful.

The client base could easily justify opening a branch. It wouldn’t make much sense for you to run it if you didn’t have Filip to go home to. With the tumultuous week you’ve had, the shit with Jarry, and now your mother… he might decide you’re not worth the trouble that always seemed to find you.

“Can I get back to you on that?” you asked him. Tig was okay with it and assured you that all you had to do was say the word and he’d be on it for you.

Out the corner of your eye, you noticed Filip had gotten up and went to the back of the building. Putting out any fires you mother may have started was your priority and you were about to follow him out. Instead you were met by 5’2” of holy fucking terror.

“I expect you to come back home as soon as you are done. The club only needs you to keep their collective asses out of trouble. Then, you get home. Jack has been running things too long as it is. You’re taking advantage and that’s not fair to him either,” she had an unbending air about her. “Your father and I gave up everything to make sure you never had to live this life. I don’t want to see everything he worked so hard for go to waste because you weren’t there to give it life.” She paused and looked toward Jack, “We’re leaving now.”

Obligation made you hug your mother and say goodbye. Jack gave you a warm hug and a wink before you two said your goodbyes. You remained motionless as you watched the pair walk out of sight. As soon as they were gone, you spun on your heel and went to look for Filip. You were going to run up the stairs when you caught movement outside through a crack in the door…that and the sound of what you had come to recognize as Gaelic swearing.

Pushing the door open to the back alley, Chibs was smoking like a chimney, pacing and cussing all at the same time. You slipped through the opening and leaned against the wall waiting for him to notice you. You hadn’t seen him so enraged before.

When he saw you, he broke from his mutterings and came striding over to you, “Yer ma’s a piece of work, ya know tha’?!” He stalked off not waiting for you to answer, of course you knew what she was like, “piece of work” were never the words you used though. “Where the hell does she get off tellin’ people who they can and can’t…” he stopped himself short. Catching his breath a little, and slowly closing the distance between the two of you, “I won’t pull you into anything, lass. If you want to be here, I want you to be here, aye?”

You nodded, still stuck to the wall behind you. Filip loomed close. He blew out the last of his cigarette and threw the butt to the ground, grinding it out with his boot. He put both of his hands on the wall behind you, locking you in place. His intensity was both scaring you and turning you on. He stared down into your eyes, his own filled with lust.

His hand left the wall and his fingertips touched your neck, his thumb grazing your jaw as his hand cupped the back of your neck and head. Your breaths were coming short and quick in anticipation. His mouth was so close to your own, you could feel him stealing your breath.

“Do ye want to be wi’ me, luv, here, now?” his body pressed firmly into yours.

You raised your hand and cautiously put it on his chest the other wrapping around him, grabbing his ass.

“God, yes,” you said breathily.

“God has nothin’ ta do wi’ it, luv,” his other hand had moved to your waist, his finger in the waistband of your jeans, tickling the soft skin of your belly, as he traced the hem. “It’ll be my name yer screaming when I’m done wi’v ye.”

His mouth finally met yours, kissing you hard, your lips and teeth mashing together. You were starting to get mad at the obscene amount of clothing that was separating you. You ground your hips into him looking for any sort of relief you could get for your throbbing clit. His hand moved to your ass and down your leg, pulling your knee up to his hip.

The door suddenly pushed open and Chuckie walked out with a bag of garbage for the dumpster. He walked sideways with his back to you and Filip. Only then did your mouths part, Chibs eyeing Chuckie the whole way.

“Sorry, boss, sorry,” Chuckie hurried.

Filip relaxed his hold on your leg and you both went about composing yourselves. He took your hand and pulled you inside and up the stairs to the apartment where he set about making you scream his name for the first time that day.

[shoukokus]

Here’s a post to kind of talk about the shows I’ll be watching this season, just in case you guys want some recommendations, or might want to talk about them!

Just keep in mind that I might add more shows to this post, or possibly even drop some, this will be in order of air date (more or less)

Osomatsu-san 2: So I absolutely adored the first season, it was so so funny, and I can’t wait to see more. Overall I think the first episode could have been a little stronger, I know it’s Osomatsu-san, but it was kind of weird lol. But yeah, I’m sure it’ll get back to normal (as normal as this show can be) for the second episode.

EDIT: It did get better! The second episode was much more of the Osomatsu-san I know. Can’t wait to laugh more lol

Juuni Taisen: If you’ve been following me for the past few weeks, you’ll know how invested I am in this show. I have, no exaggeration, been aware of this for months and months and months. It was first announced in March, and I’ve been following it since a couple months after that. It had updates every 12th day of the month, and you bet your ass I was waiting for every single one. The characters, concept, setting, literally everything drew me into this. It hadn’t even aired yet, and Usagi was already like top 5 characters of all time lmao. IN TERMS OF THE ACTUAL EPISODE: I think it was an extremely strong start, with plenty of twists (although I already know who dies because I like spoilers lol). I can’t wait to see more, and I’m reading the manga that’s coming out alongside it, you can find it on viz media. Literally the only thing that bothers me about this is the fanbase. I’ve seen so many creepy people in the tag going “OMG I LOVE USAGI, I’M SUCH A PERVERT XD” like no. Stop. Usagi is not just his appearance, stop being gross, thanks. Also Boar talking over a lot of other things kind of bothered me, but I doubt that kind of format will continue, or at least it won’t be as annoying.

EDIT: Holy fuck this is such a good show. The second episode was amazing, but I won’t really talk about that, because I want to talk about the original light novel. It was recently translated officially to English and released, so I bought it obviously, and read it. FUCK ME IT GETS SO DARK, GOREY, AND VIOLENT. Like seriously, I won’t say who it happens too, but there are people biting off their tongues, having their lungs collapsed, and getting their arms ripped off. If you don’t like really gorey stuff, you might not want to watch this.

Sengoku Night Blood: I had been vaguely aware of this for awhile, I think I saw the original game opening video when it first came out. It’s a bunch of pretty boys, so obviously I’m interested. In terms of characters, I’m both interested and intimidated lmao, if you watched the first episode, you’ll know that there are so. many. damn. characters. Like there were four or five factions, each with at least four characters in them. There are a lot of characters. But at the same time, each of them manage to catch my interest, and I’d like to know more about them. The world is also interesting, with vampires and werewolves, but also being historical. Now in terms of it being an otome, I’ve never been a fan of the stupid and weak main female character, when it comes to an anime adaptation, they just aren’t interesting as characters. But she showed a couple of interesting characteristics, such as willing to fight. We’ll just have to see I think. 

EDIT: I’m really enjoying this now! While yeah, the MC is the classic can’t do shit girl that’s really annoying, I think the other characters make up for it. I see a lot of potential, and hope to learn more about the characters that I actually give a shit about lol

Ancient Magus Bride: I watched part of the first OVA awhile back, and truthfully I’m not quite sure yet? By themselves, I think the characters are all very interesting, I like the dog lol.  But in terms of relationships between them? I’m not so sure. I understand that this is a romance, but I’m here for the setting, the magic, and the characters by themselves, rather than the actual romance. Overall I think it can be a very beautiful, in many aspects, anime. I just hope it’s more than the romance.

Houeski no Kuni: So this one just came out today, and I literally just watched it like 15 minutes ago lol. I was surprised with how much I enjoyed it to be honest. I’m not really sure how to describe the animation, but you’ll know what I’m taking about if you watch it. I’ve never been a fan of that style, so it was kind of off-putting when I first started the episode, but by the end I think I didn’t really mind it, and it actually had some very pretty scenes. In terms of the characters, I’ll just explain in case you didn’t read a synopsis, there are basically a bunch of these genderless characters who are made out of gems (?), they’re like a new species, who are being hunted for the beauty of the gems. The idea of genderless characters was really cool, but the problem is the voices... They’re like, literally all female. If they’re going to do genderless people, at least make it sound ambiguous? Or some masculine, some feminine? But no, I’m positive that not a single character that we met in the episode was voiced by a male. All female voice characters. I tried my best to kind of push pass the voices and think of them as genderless, and at least some of them have male features, the character named Cinnabar has some male qualities (but again, female voice actor). I typically dislike female-majority cast shows (I just think anime has poor females tbh), so that’s why the voices are off-putting to me. But anyway, the designs were pretty cool, for how many there are, they’re all unique at least. This one went on a little long, but it’s mostly because I think it has a lot of potential to be amazing, so we’ll see!

DROPPED THIS WEEK: Tsukipro, Taishou Chicchai San

So there we go! Let me know if you agree, disagree, anything! If you have any questions, want to know more, just let me know!

[dlamp-dictator]

Allen Rambles about Symphogear

AKA Allen’s Ramblings XXVI. Yes I know I still need to do the Seinen ramblings, they’re coming I swear.

Ah, Symphogear, probably one the most memorable anime I’ve watched… and one of the few series I’ve kept up with throughout these last few years. I… don’t really know where to begin with this. To explain the plot of Symphogear is… like trying to explain the plot of Blazblue to a certain extent… okay, not really, but it’s still hard. In a nutshell, it’s a magical show featuring idols, singing, dancing, guns, kung fu, and over the top shounen action. As for the plot itself… at least for season 1, destructive creatures called Noise exist in the world, destroying and corrupting everything they touch. It’s up the idol duo Zwei Wing to fight them off with mysterious relics known as Symphogears, magical/ancient technology that grants its users the strength to fight back the Noise with the power of song. Literally. These girls need to sing while simultaneously fighting, and they don’t just play some pre-recorded tracks of these voice-actors singing, you can hear the grunts, growls, and forced breaths as they sing and beat up bad guys and I just find that detail cool. Anyway, that tangent aside, the plot takes off from there. Going into further detail would be spoilers, and I personally don’t like spoiling shows and games when I do these tagged Ramblings, so… moving on.

Now, I got into Symphogear right around the time season 3 was wrapping up. I think I was seeing some gifs of the main character, Hibiki, doing kung fu moves against some Noise and I was still on my martial arts girls high from finishing up Nanoha Vivid at the time, so I checked it out. Then… then I found out the show had 3 seasons. And with shows that have that much of a backlong I tend to worry about how long it’ll take for me to get to the stuff I wanna’ see, being all the cool martial arts stuff. I had the same experience when I saw a gif of that Rin vs Luvia from UBW, only to marathon all Fate-related anime material. What can I say, I like context for my fight scenes. So I marathon all the original Fate/Stay Night anime, Fate/kaleid liner PRISMA ILLYA, and Unlimited Blade Works just to learn that fight scene was in an epilogue episode… then again, that turned me into a fan of the Fate universe and made Prisma Illya one of my favorite magical girl shows yet, so… I took a chance on Symphogear, praying that I got to see kung fu, singing, magical girls in season 1 and not suffer through three seasons of magical girl tropes and monster-of-week style battles before I got there.

Thankfully, I didn’t. In fact, I was really invested into the plot after episode 1. The stakes were raised from the get go and I was hooked. Throughout the first season I actually found Tsubasa to be the more interesting character at the time between her and Hibiki. She was a battle-hardened warrior that had closed her heart to others, even to her love of singing, to become a weapon that could destroy all the Noise that faced her after she witnessed her partner’s death. She was surprisingly antagonistic at first, wanting more to ground Hibiki into the dirt more than even talk to her due to her involve in said partner’s death. Well, I there go my lack of spoilers. What really hooked me though was the fact that this wasn’t a monster-of-the-week kind of magical girl show like I was expecting. I’ve said this before, but I tend to lose interest in monster-of-the-week shows very quick unless I’m really attached to the characters do the fighting. Otherwise, it’s just a bunch of tropes with a lesson-of-the-day at the end of each episode. Symphogear didn’t do this, instead giving a clear antagonist, being Fine, and making the show about learning her plans and eventually stopping her. Now, I know a few other magical girl shows that do this, but most those shows tend to be a bit darker than typical magical girl shows, and Symphogear was more or less playing it straight with the magical girl stuff. It was something I appreciated.

I’d talk about Chris at this point, doing that would really spoil the first season, so I’ll just say I liked her as a villain and foil to the main duo of Hibiki and Tsubasa. The show had subverted a lot of what I had expected, and it only got crazier from there after season 1. To this day Hibiki is still my favorite character in the show, perhaps one of my favorite female characters of all time, right up there with Mikoto Misaka and Cecily Campbell. She reminds me a lot of Asuka from Senran Kagura in a wau. She’d rather not fight any battles, goes out of her way to try and resolve things peacefully, but she won’t hesitate to defend herself or fight against what she believes is wrong and evil if pushed to do so. And I have a soft spot in my heart for Kirika after season 3, but… again, spoilers, plus I’d need to rewatch the show to go into more detail and I’m already keeping up with season 4.

Speaking of, I’m hyped to be watching season 4, it’s been real good so far, and I seeing some possible development for Chris and Team Neopolitan (thank you for giving us that name AXZ). I’ve got high hopes, but… I’m curious where things go from here.

…

…

…

Y’know, I’d usually end this little essay here, but… whenever I make an “Allen Rambles about X” ramblings and tag it I tend to break down things into what I specifically like and dislike, and it wouldn’t be right if I didn’t that, so… this’ll my first time do that for anime, but let’s talk about…

The Good

The Music

When I was talking about my musical taste in my Persona 5 rambling I said anything with brass and jazz would get me to [RETRACTED] all over the soundtrack. However, a good rock song has the same effect, and all of Chris’s songs just get me pumped up. I really like how every Symphogear has they’re own kind of theme and genre. Hibiki’s has a celtic/rock/pop sort of vibe, Tsubasa’s is traditional Japanese instruments with some rock elements, Chris’s has some borderline Daisuke Ishiwatari hard rock in them (just listen to Bye-Bye Lullaby for an example), and the other Symphogears are spoilers, but Shirabe is my favorite out of the newer ones, so I’ll just leave it at that.

The Action

Seriously, this anime just does all the crazy shounen action I love so well, especially all the kung fu stuff Hibiki does in later seasons. Again, Tsubasa is probably my favorite character in season 1 not only for her interest personality and story arc, but her fighting style was so cool in season 1. A samurai that can summon swords, do demon fangs, manipulate her sword’s size, it was all so cool. And that fact that she was probably the only trained fighter up until Hibiki got training in just made watching her fight a spectacle.

The Writing

I’m not really going to go in depth about the write of a show I watch for its action, but I like how Hibiki has stayed firm on her attempts at trying to settle things peacefully before nailing people with tetsuzankos and other moves she ripped from Akira Yuki.

The Not So Good

I usually do the flaws in more of a list since I don’t like being in depth about them unless they’re really big flaws so…

Season 3 was... a little lacking, and I didn’t really care for Hibiki’s character arc when [RETRACTED DUE TO SPOILERS].

Really... season 3 is the only season I had issues with. Nothing big, but just some small holes I could poke at since season 2 was just going to be real hard to top.

Uh... I guess season 1 pails in comparison to the production values of the later seasons, but... eh, that’s like saying Sonic 1 is worse than Sonic 3, kind of an obvious thing, and even Sonic 1 wasn’t that bad to begin with.

So yeah, Symphogear is just a good action show that subverted my expectations and continues to grip me. Again, got some high hopes for Season 4 as it continues, and I hope you all get a chance to enjoy too.