#i want to do a longfic but i dont know if im strong enough

[mothheart]

started another wip bc im itching so bad to get it down and also i want to get everything out while it's fresh in my mind before the memory loss eats it

[voidcat]

characters: nakahara chuuya, you

a/n: idk what this is... im tired, its 1am and i want a haircut... i'd most likely let chuuya give me a haircut. i love that man ig (i'll probs make this an extra chapter to my longfic,, lol)

"Are you really sure you want me to do this?" you hear Chuuya's worried voice coming from behind you and find yourself rolling your eyes.

Stopping yourself at the last moment from nodding, you sigh. "Chuuya, we've been over this already. Just stop asking and get to work."

Footsteps walking away for a brief moment, only to come back after a clanking noise, he runs a hand through your hair rather hesitantly.

"Alright, message taken." he says and you close your eyes in content.

Except, Chuuya isn't exactly done yet. "Why not ask that boyfriend of yours to cut your hair though?"

Hoping his hold on your hair isn't as thight, you whip your head to face him. "Don't call him that." The smirk on his face tells this time it was just a bait. You can't help but pout.

He only snickers at your furrowed expression. "Sure," he drags out the 'u', "whatever you say."

"Would you entrust your hair which is attached to your head, to a Dazai with scissors?" you say the next words much slower and with emphasis as you turn back to your initial position.

Hands stop stroking your hair and you can tell he's contemplating for a moment.

"Fair enough. I see your point." And with that, you can hear the snapping sounds.

A moment passes with nothing but silence, except for the occasional sounds of scissors snapping and hair falling off.

It's almost comforting, to share a silence with Chuuya.

And when you think about it, of all the times you spent together, be it alone or not, when was it ever with a mutual understanding towards each other, recognizing the silence within one another and just existing?

Far more less than you'd like, you're sure about it.

"'Kay so I know you're sick of me bringing this up, but-" his voice reaches your ears again, you're not sure how close he is standing.

"Why not to somewhere else or, i dont know, ask the others for this?" there is a hint of deffidence in his voice. Perhaps he isn't as much a fan of this as you are. Or maybe he just doesn't know what you expect or how you'll react.

And you can't exactly blame him for that.

"It's just hair, Chuuya. You'll cut it short." You make a snipping gesture with your fingers as you talk. "It's not like I want a specific style anyways." you finish and hear him mumble an "okay"

"Also, I figured it was time we hung out outside our social circles and overlapping work assignments." Chuuya doesn't reply with anything to that statement.

Yet you can tell from his movements and breathing that he has calmed down a little. Maybe if you had a view of him, you could spot shoulders that have relaxed. And if you listen carefully, you can pick up on a low humming coming from his lips. No matter what song it is, you doubt it'll ever surpass his humming.

"Y'know," he begins and you can hear the ease in his voice. "It's almost weird,"

"Weird how?" you don't let him finish.

His hands stopped moving long ago, the scissors probably cast aside. "Seeing you like this." you're not sure where his hands are but you wouldn't mind it if he placed them on your shoulders.

"You mean the hair?" The temptation to turn and watch for his reactions as you speak is strong, very so, yet you resist. Whatever intimacy that lingers in the air, you don't want to disturb it, or him.

"I guess." you can hear him shrug almost. "But it suits you like that too." His hands go up in your hair, almost mindlessly and caress slightly as he speaks.

"Why, thank you!" You smile and lean back, closing your eyes as Chuuya keeps running his hand through your hair.

"It's just-" Chuuya utters and you internally groan.

So much for a shared moment of tranquility.

you cross your arms. "It's just what?"

you didn't realize you spoke with a tone. You wince at it but you doubt you can let out a 'sorry' now.

"I... might've cut your hair a bit too short." he replies a bit timidly, something you'd never expect to hear from him. And he actually sounds apologetic too. You just want to laugh at this.

And you do.

This only confuses the ginger further.

"It's fine." you drag the 'i' and tilt your head as you turn to face him.

Placing your hands on the back of the chair, you rest your chin and lean toward him. "I told you that already, didn't I? I just want a messy, short haircut. It doesn't have to be perfect, or stylish, or whatever it is you assume I want."

And as you lean, he takes a step back. It's always amusing how he flees so sudden whenever you display close proximity to him.

"And besides," you crane your neck a little, "it was quite nice to feel your fingers in my hair." you say in a whisper and smirk, as he struggles to say anything back, face growing the lovely shade of pink you've come to adore on his cheeks.

[dulharpa]

this is for hayley! @whistlingwillows a dear friend <3333

it’s meant to be a birthday present haha. i just want to shower you in love;;; so thought maybe i could go through as many of your fics and comment on them :^)))

(TO EVERYONE ELSE: please go to @whistlingwillows blog and read her fics!!! they are SO FCKIN GOOD AND AMAZING AND UGH HER MIND (it’s a lot of mcu and her bucky and steve fics are a*. i DEFINITELY RECOMMEND))

i wish you a VERY happy birthday and i hope we stay friends for many more years <3333333333 

i’m going through your masterlist heehee ;)))

ah first off, nice theme! i never could rlly see it before because i’m always on mobile heehee. also sorry for not reviewing them before??? i don’t usually read fics on tumblr as you’ve probably guessed;;

anyways, IM GON REVIEW THE SHIT OUT OF THESE >:DDDD

far from home -  bucky x stark sister!reader

firstly, i like how youre introducing the reader from buckys pov, like you can sort of already gather what shes like from them

‘Bucky can hear Tony’s soft inhale, feel the intensity of the man’s glare directed at Steve. He shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but a twitch of muscle would be enough to alert both men that he’s here. With the amount of tension crackling in the air, a brush against the wall would be equivalent to a thousand cymbals crashing in cacophony.’

IM CRYING ALREADY. the imagery in here is GLORIOUS. your tone here is so fitting! oo and the alliteration here is perfecto

ooooooo!! the backstory coming in  👀👀

‘despite what some people think that Steve and Captain America are two different personas, there will always be parts of Steve in the Avenger, and parts of the Avenger in Steve. They both want to believe in something good. They are, after all, one in the same.// Just as how Bucky and the Winter Soldier are the same man despite everything. HYDRA simply amplified the hate, fertilized the seeds of rage, curated the quiet thunder within his soul, within James Buchanan Barnes so that the Winter Soldier could thrive.’

yIKES! lol this is very character study like! nICE. it hurts tho, my poor children, i love you both 

oo ‘starlight eyes’ that is a very nice way of describing them

‘“Then what was London?” The protesters. “São Paulo?” The earthquake. “Vancouver?” Freezing cold water.//“Look, I care if Stark’s gonna run us over trying to find her. I care enough because she’s part of our team. Come off it, Steve. I know she can take care of herself. I’m gonna take a nap. Dr. Cho said no partying post-Singapore and what do you know, we throw the biggest party ever.’

ooo singapore uwu and london? (coincidence? haha jkjk) and the hints abt reader and buckys background are so good?? but so annoying??? like i just wanna KNOW yknow?? 

‘The water runs copper and the sting bites at his palm as he tries not to think. Tries to focus on the numbing cold that runs over his skin.’ 

your imagery is so vivid?? im actually in awe??? i am so regretful i havent kept reading your fics. like i know they are amazing, i just keep putting them off??? idk man. hopefully this makes up for it (gd tho, im still not done with commenting on one fic. this is what im doing with my motivation teehee ;)

‘ He feels weak. Tired. He wants to go back to bed but he also wants to stay out in the sun for a few hours more. The sun kisses his skin through the windows and he squints against the blue sky, wondering ‘

mood during this quarantine lol

‘“Oh, right.” Your voice is flat, uninterested, cold, as you stare at him. “You killed my parents.”Shit.‘

 OUCH LMAO THATS C O L D, O GOT +100 PHYSIC DAMAGE FROM JUST READING THAT

ooo robin as a nickname noice. very much gives me batman vibes lol

oh! and the way of doing the ‘flashback’ is neat! very original. it both tells us what happened AND buckys reaction to it again. he can re-analyse himself and reader. very cool

‘If you walk away now, don’t bother coming back!” Silence. Bucky can hear his own strained breathing, your soft sigh as you soaked in his ultimatum.’

👀👀 yikes that ultimatum. :// not good bucky. tbf theyre both trying to hurt each other but Yikes

eyy!!! readers pov!! finally! and the switch after we find out the outsiders pov? brilliant

oh no :(( more angst

‘When’s the last time you saw your therapist?”“Don’t have one. I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself.”’ they BOTH need therapists;;;;

very good fic!!! :DD they rlly do hate each other! i definitely like how you went back and forth with the timeline! it gave me a v strong idea on what yn was like even before we rlly got introduced. i am now very curious on where reader is? i love your characterisations! 

i will read the 10k+ fics but heck the last one took me ages lolol (i will comment in the future tho!! i promise <3 ) (that took me over an hour jjhghgdjh)

slipping away- amnesiac modern bucky x reader

omg,,, AMNESIA! >:DDDDDD

‘ Put your fucking seatbelt on’

oh no, istg theyre going to have a car crash arent they (’ doesn’t put the seatbelt on to spite you.’ NO PLEASE PUT IT ON U DUMBASS)

ok,,,,, at LEAST he put it on before he got hit, thank heck. but still. youre so cruel to your poor characters lmaoo

oh gosh

‘You fall apart slowly, like pieces of you peeling away until you’re nothing more than your broken heart. The sobs that wrack your body are relentless and you shove your forearm into your mouth to muffle your cries. You want to bite into your skin. You want to distract yourself from the agony tearing you to shreds. You want to feel anything but the pain.///Tears sweep into your hair, cloud your vision and your whole face floods with heat as you try to breathe through the pain. You’re cleaved into pieces on that bed, eyes squeezed shut as the tears keep flowing, and your throat burns’

this hurts damn, it is so vivid?? i can really feel it 

i am so glad you got into writing yk?? so glad

NO PLS, TELL HIM. TELL HIM :((( ‘shes nice once you get to know her?? shes known nat for years now!! years!!

oh god ‘he looks younger without the burden of your time together’ this is so angsty omg

‘Well, he was stumbling through his apology and I just let him finish.” Your body fills with warmth as you remember his embarrassed smile, the way he shoved his baseball cap farther down his head, chin tucked to his chest, trying to hide that face. “When he was done, I opened my mouth to say something polite but what came out was ‘You look like someone I’d very much like to kiss’.”

this is so soft i stg im crying in the club

OH SHITTTTTTTTTTT , you left it off like that!!! thats so cruel!!!! i can’t!!! how dare you!!!! :””””””((( im typing this with tears in my eyes ill have u know!!

anyway!!! very good fic!! you could honestly make that into a longfic very easily lol. i felt too many emotions :(( 

i was just about to say where is the fluff!! where is it!! when i saw the next one and yay :))) pls i cant have more angsty stuff rn

.

cookies and rings and things bucky and reader

‘how much do you love me?’ ‘count the snowflakes, multiply by a million’

did you have to start the fic off with such a SOFT line? its so soft! so TENDER 

‘He wonders what kinda insane person wears socks without any clothes on, but then decides that it’s the kind of person who’s fallen in love with him.’  jesus, the soft moments filled with love are the greatest <3

you can write fluff so well, whyd you have to pain me with all that angst ;””””) (1/10 hurt, 9/10 comfort is the way to go lolol) (jkjk ill read the angsty ones too when i have the spoons) (gonna reread that hydra steve one and ik thatll fuck me UP)

‘ Then, he can feel the cold metal of the ring she slid onto her own finger less than twenty-four hours ago and realizes that he had thought a lot of things shouldn’t be possible, and yet they still are. ‘

you literally brought me to tears reading this softness, you have truly found my weakness

‘ She’s so damn gorgeous with flour on her face and eye bags beneath her eyes that he’s sure she will inevitably make his heart burst ‘

he already likes her so much! i can’t believe this is affecting me so much :’)

‘Bucky is quite sure Sam is in love with his girlfriend in the fact that he’s in love with the fact that his girlfriend is possibly in love with Bucky’

this is so soft??? sam loves reader bc reader loves bucky sm. pls my hear <3333

you do fluff SO WELL DAMN 

‘F.R.I.D.A.Y.’s voice echoes in his small little perch and he still thinks it’s weird without having the side effect of Stark in his suit chasing after him to hear the A.I. but he shoves that uncomfortable feeling of the dead man out of his head. That is too much regret to unpack right now on a mission. ‘

yike bringing back that reminder oof

but thats so soft??? (i am def overusing soft but,,,,, i love it and the vibe) she sent him cookies! god i can feel the love  

‘She expresses her feelings through cooking, which Bucky has learnt the hard way. One time, they got into an argument over something stupid—he can’t even remember what started it—and came to the kitchen at 2AM to see her sitting at the kitchen island crying her eyes out and surrounded by baskets of muffins.’

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 my hEART

you show how much they love each other in so many ways??? i am dying

“Alright, I like it.” Rolling his eyes, he pecks her forehead and she smiles victoriously. It’s so adorable that Bucky, with less than three hours of sleep, adds, “God, I want to marry you.//”“What?”//Oh.Shit.

oh my god! i am literally tearing up!!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!

oh shit o am literally crying

your fluff got me crying harder than your angst i hope youre happy

I really hope you enjoy reading this?? i keep forgetting to like text you but i wanted to do something for your birthday. especially in quarantine when everythings gone crazy. one year i swear ill do something REALLY good for you. not making promises bc i hate if i dont. but ill like, learn how to podfic because you D E S E R V E  I T 

ive spent like three hours doing this lolol 

thank you so much for everything hayley!