#i want to find my community of haters 😅

[bethanydelleman]

What brings people together is not mutual love but mutual hatred. Share a random, benign, food-related hatred with me:

[thefallennightmare]

Hey there!

I just wanted to say I'm amazed at how you handle the anon hate with class and grace. It blows my mind at how hateful people can be, especially when they can hide behind being on anon (I see the irony in me being on anon now too lol)

Sometimes as an elder millennial, I feel too old for this fandom and too old for tumblr lol. But out of all the fandoms I've been a part of during the years across various social media apps, this little community right here has been the nicest and most welcoming. I've been here less than a year and haven't talked much to anyone, but the few interactions I've had have been very polite and respectful and sometimes very funny.

I've seen the hate you and other blogs/writers have posted about and it disgusts me. I haven't gotten involved in any of the discourse because I try to keep my vibes positive and friendly. But now I just wanna say something to you and your fellow writers - please don't stop writing or give in to the hate and negativity. Yes, their words hurt and are discouraging but for every "hater" you have, you have many more people who love and support you and your work, please choose to focus on that. I can't speak for everyone but I choose to read your stories as a way to escape from the real world, so I thank you for sharing your talent and creativity with all of us.

And if any haters are lurking, I politely ask that you please find something better to do with your time. Fic writers and fic readers are literally hurting no one, so direct your vitriol elsewhere. Don't shame others for reading and writing fics, when other people in this fandom and other fandoms have done worse things to celebrities. I hope that whatever is bothering you and causing you to be so hateful is resolved and you can find peace and positivity in your life. Treat people with kindness.

Sorry this got so long but I felt like I needed to speak up and offer my elder millennial wisdom lol 😅

🫶🏻

WELP HERE I AM CRYING!

Thank you so fucking much for this long and lovely message. It was something I needed after these last couple of days! I also stay on the good side of the fandom because there are SO many wonderful and lovely people here. I've met so many amazing people, and I am so thankful to call them my friends. I do my best to ignore all the anon hate messages I get but sometimes, I feel the need to defend myself and my blog(which seems to be a lot more recently).

I will never turn off my anon option because a lot of my followers love the option to remain on anon because it's what they're comfortable with. I refuse to let some miserable person who chooses to throw hate on anon ruin it for others.

I am choosing to always focus on every single one of you who always loves and supports me rather than the few who have nothing better to do than to spew unnecessary hate.

And one thing I ALWAYS say is "kill em with kindness."

Also, my inbox is always open! Feel free to pop in anytime and we can chat about whatever! My blog is a safe space for everyone. 🪽🖤

[elephant-in-the-pride-parade]

20 Fic Writer Quesions

First, thank you @singeart and @mytardisisparked for tagging me!. I did a set of these last year and it was fun to see how my answers have changed since then!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

61

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

1.6 million and counting!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Star Trek Voyager

Star Trek Prodigy

Sailor Moon

Harry Potter

Madam Secretary

Ive debated writing SwanQueen for a long time but by the time I had the energy and time to write, I'd lost interest in the show. I might rewatch and come back to it one day...

I have thought about writing Wynonna Earp or Tamora Pierce universe fanfiction but have yet to get an idea that grabs me. I like to find things i want to fix and it's hard when the source material is perfection.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Parent Trap (305)

Sailor Moon H Order of the Phoenix (289)

Sailor Moon H Half Blood Prince (222)

Eden's Deception (167)

Out of Reach (150)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to! although if I'm busy or feeling down it can take me a while. Sometimes I forget.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I still think What Even is 3 Minutes takes the cake. Or I'll be Your First if You'll be my Last

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I Heard the Comm on Christmas Morn and Parent Trap

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Unfortunately I've gotten hate on fics since I started writing them... and it's become just something I expect to happen. Sometimes it's funny. Sometimes it confuses me. Sometimes it makes me sad. It really depends...

The memorable haters:

There was the delightful Fanfiction.net reviewer who got pissed i was "making everybody gay" (that was funny actually). I forget if they were the same person who flamed me when Mcgonagall and Hooch kissed under some mistletoe. I digress. They thought queering up the canon was like sinful or whatever. I was delighted to disagree and make the story even queerer.

Another person cussed me out for magically restraining Sailor Plutos time travel powers so my plot would work and for making her have feelings about it. aparently mad the senshi were not all powerful deus exmachinas who never feel feelings... That one stung. That was the reason I left FFN.

Hate because in Sailor Moon H, Harry Potter was not the main character.

Hate that I made a magic bio baby for the magical lesbians. (I can't have a biobaby with my wife irl, can't I at least let the fantasy girlies have one!)

Hate for including C/7 in a story

...I wouldn't call it hate for the fic but I have had an uncomfortable amount of commenters who hate on Chakotay any time I have him involved with Seven / don't have him grovel to Kathryn / really any time I let him advocate for how he's been hurt... at first comments like this stressed me out because i worried i had not written the character sufficiently sympathetic. But then Parent Trap breached containment and I got enough comments to be able to see I had definitely written the character fine... it was just that some people were always just rooting for a "Chakotay falls over himself to apologize to Janeway for not immediately dating her" storyline that... I'm not sorry 😅 I'm never going to write that. The older I get the more I feel like both of J/C just need therapy! They've been through so much trauma. Their feelings are valid (yes, even for other people).

Parent Trap breaching containment also meant that when I hit an irl rut and couldnt get in the writing headspace for a bit, a bunch of - sincerely, well meaning - fans got into their heads to start a commenting campaign to get me to update. I heard about it and panicked (i had bad experiences that year of getting people who only commented "update soon" and those conversely stressed me out and made me not want to write - I love fic writing for the conversations and community... so it made me feel like readers thought i was just a content vending machine). so just the thought of potentially getting an avalanche of guests, well meaning or not, begging me to update made me lock commenting until the fic was done. I wound up deciding after that that since "update soon" requests were becoming a lot more frequent that I'd consider before posting whether getting them would hurt my ability to finish. So most of the time now if I know a fic is going to reach a bigger potential community, I don't start posting it until it's almost done. That has had some upsides! (Im less dependent on positive feedback for motivation now!) and some downsides (no one comments on my fics with their theories anymore) but on a whole, a good decision.

Immediately after finishing Parent Trap I wrote Fever and got this amazing guest comment from someone who said (paraphrasing cuz i'm too busy to go find it) "Youre better than this. how dare you write this filth. J/C are better than this" that one had me laughing for days. But the comment did prompt me to create a second account later when I wrote a tentacle fic. At the time I worried i'd get a ton of similar flame comments from people who were subscribed to my main for other types of fic... but I am even feeling like that's unnecessary now. I write what I write! Yes, some of it is really dirty, weird smut. I'm not sorry.

Currently any time I post a Threshold AU fic an anon drops into my comments section in order to call me "Sick" and "Deranged"... they make me so sad I don't even make a quippy reply. I just delete them. I write that universe for my own wish fulfillment... Someday (soon, hopefully) I'm gonna have kids. And I am going to have to have conversations with them about who their biological dad is. Why they look like one mom and not the other, whether their non bio family love them even if theyre not blood related. I might have a kid who feels different from everyone else because they're queer or they're neurodivergent or they're some new alienating feeling I am totally unprepared for. and I'll need to help them navigate that.. Writing about hybrid salamander kids getting raised in a blended family is FUN. But more importantly... it helps me practice those situations. It comforts me to know that if the characters can figure this out in the AU then I can figure this out in real life! What the hell is sick and deranged about that!?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I write all sorts of smut. I post the stuff that doesn't totally mortify me once i've gotten out of whatever mood had me writing the smut in the first place.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have exactly two crossovers to my name: Sailor Delta and Sailor Moon H. I think on the basis of word count alone Sailor Moon H (>500,000) is definitely the craziest.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I consider the unlicensed use of the AO3 archive for ChatGPT and similar LLMs theft. (and there are several court cases pending that are also seeking to address whether it is legally theft as it pertains to published fiction and newspapers). The canon creators of the fandoms I write for aren't allowed to make money by using uncredited ideas pulled from my fanfiction (just like I am not allowed to make money from writing fic with their copyrighted settings and characters) and i continue to be apalled that ChatGPT and other LLMs think they can get away with using others copyrighted ideas without permission. Especially that they can take advantage of people who cant profit off their own work.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No but i would be open to it!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! Once with @magdalenejaneway, once with @jellybeansarecool and once with @trekflower and all three were fantastic!

Most of what I write for Threshold AU is also increasingly collaborated on a great deal by the AU creators and a few other folks. It's been going for over 2 years now and doing that more and more has enabled us all to drop more references to previous fics and to create a more cohesive body of fic for the AU. in general its just been so fun and fulfilling to make these stories with other people who are as invested in the characters as me and it just fills me with joy. I'm really grateful for you guys.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

On the one hand J/C have inspired over 50 fics, But on the other I have also been loving Sailor Moon and those ships since before I knew what fandom or shipping were. And really the only reason J/C inspire more fic is that all the sailor moon characters got a happy ending.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I never want to give up on a WIP...

but I am in knots about what all to do with Out of Reach.

Out of Reach is a St:Prodigy S1 AU where Chakotay has amnesia and doesn't remember anything from his time on Voyager, all the while he and Kathryn are in a situationship with a baby.

There's two questions I never figured out how to answer: 1. Does he get his memories back. If so, how much and what enables it. and 2: Do he and Kathryn stay together?

On the memories front. saying he never recovers seems unfair to the character. But saying he magically does thanks to 24th century science feels cheap and disrespectful - to the reality of real memory loss and to the plot that built up so much tension around this. Saying he gets back some or more over time is more realistic, but left me uncertain of where exactly to end the story. Tying his retrieval of memories to Kathryn also tied me up in knots. On the one hand they're in love and thats romantic. on the other hand the optics of his recovery totally dependent on one person is icky.

I also found the baby really annoying to have there by the end - I still think he's cuteeee i really do!!! - it's just... he makes the "we should stay together and try to figure this out" answer a bit too convenient 😅. and he complicates Kathryns reluctance to restart their relationship. The more she resists, the more callous she seems (deliberately not trying to patch things up with her kid's father) when i really just want to focus on her fears that Chakotay would be happier without her and that even if they restart their romance, she might lose him again on a future mission. It's ironic because i originally created the baby to ensure she wouldnt just run away from her fears. And now hes contributing to my difficulty ending the fic...

Actually the more I think on it, my real problem is I could write my way out of this, but I cant do it in only one or two chapters and that makes me feel tired. i was sorta hoping to wrap that fic up. 😅🙈

16. What are your writing strengths?

Imagery has always been a strength for me. But i think I'm also getting really good at action scenes too.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Oneshots.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Only if it was information i wanted the reader to understand but not the POV character.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

W.I.T.C.H way back when I was 15.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Universe to Mend - I even have a few sequel or companion novel ideas to come after it.

This has gone on a while... 😅 - thank you for tagging me and letting me ramble! i'll tag anyone else who wants to answer! have at it.

[the-bjd-community-confess]

T33ntkrs says this blog is running a “hate campaign” and it’s “relentlessly bullying” her because there’s “1-6 posts a week” about her but I searched every spelling variant of her name I could think of and I think I found like 12 total posts that even come up and I only found 3 after scrolling through several weeks worth of confessions from the top down and she says this “campaign” has been going on for 3 years. I also want to say for the record that like 3 or 4 of the posts I could find were actually positive posts.

So how is it that she says that she hasn’t read the blog at all for the last six months, but she came up with this claim after recently “scrolling, and scrolling, and scrolling” and most of the posts I found weren’t “hate” they were people who either had criticism or were unhappy with their purchase. Those things are not equal to each other. I hate when people talk about bullying and “hate campaigns” when really it’s just some people who are unhappy with someone or something and them posting about it in one isolated space. You can’t stop people from having opinions about you and you can’t claim the world is out to get you because some people don’t like your work.

I also love that she said that everything posted about her here is completely untrue and 100% “lies” so people having legitimate feedback on a doll they bought can’t be true because you don’t like it, or people saying nice things about you are also false?

I had a lot of respect for her before today. I don’t love the aesthetic of her dolls enough to buy one, but I think they’re cute and I always thought she was a very positive person in the community and I like to see her growth as an artist, but now? Idk I just don’t think I can see her the same way. All the “hate” I’ve read about her never changed my opinion, but seeing her make these claims and then immediately after basically beg for people to make her feel better (something dxg1rly always does that made me lose respect for her as well) just kind of turned me off. I’ve been bullied and received actual hate for things about me I have no control over (sexuality, gender, medical conditions, disabilities) and I had to learn to just toughen up and not listen to it and she has that opportunity in an even easier fashion bc it’s all contained to this gossip rag blog (no hate mod, I love this blog and I appreciate you) [Mod: 😅] and even if it wasn’t, she can always improve her sculpting and show the “haters” they’re wrong.

~Anonymous

[karebear923]

Get To Know Me Tag

Thank you so much @befuddledcinnamonroll for tagging me! I really enjoy these tag games to learn about each other!

Do you make your bed?

Sometimes yes, but by that I mean I half fold/half bundle up the sheets and toss them on top of my pillow. So no, not really 😅

What's your favorite number?

Never really had one, but I like when things can be evenly split, so even numbers and groups of five are satisfying 👌🏽

What is your job?

I’m currently a certified pharmacy technician. I used to be the manager but I had to step down when I went back to school cause I couldn’t be full time anymore.

If you could go back to school, would you?

Here I go with my long winded answers again 😅

If we’re talking go back in time to when I was younger and in school then yes. I fear I peaked in high school, and with my current knowledge of life I’d do so many things differently.

If we’re talking go back to school now for a career change, that’s what I’m currently doing. I’m not using my first degree, so I’m in school to be an X-ray technologist and I hope to move up to CT or MRI afterwards.

If we’re talking go back to school now just for funsies, then yes again. I love languages and wish I could properly learn so many! I took Italian in college which I picked up pretty easily cause it’s so similar to Spanish (my first language), ma capisco pi�� che parlo. Non ho nessuno con cui praticare.

Can you parallel park?

Yes but I get so nervous about hitting other cars 🙈 I’d prefer not to do it.

A job you had that would surprise people?

I think what’s most surprising is that I’ve only ever had one real job. I’ve done volunteer and community work, and some research stuff but a formal wage-paying job I’ve only had one of. I’ve had many position changes within that job, though.

Do you think aliens are real?

I don’t rule out the possibility of advanced life on another planet but I’m also not thinking about it on the regular.

Can you drive a manual car?

Definitely not lol. I didn’t learn to drive until I was 26 😬 and I’m turning 29 this year…

What's your guilty pleasure?

Honestly it’s BLs, cause of the stigma around it. But if I’m around strangers I can talk about it! I met so many nice BL fans at an event back in February. It’s just hard to find people who get it.

Anything else though, I’m loud and proud! Haters to the left! 💁🏽‍♀️

Tattoos?

I’ve always wanted one! But I’m so indecisive on what to get! There is this one design I really want but then I think about it and I’m like “but where to place it???” 😭

Favorite color?

Green!!! But also purple and white

Favorite type of music?

I listen to a lot of different genres but I like pop music the most. Of course I’m into Kpop, and I love an 80’s synth sound!

Do you like puzzles?

Omg yes, I love brain teaser-type puzzles! I do the daily NYT games whenever I can and I love trivia shows and riddles and problem solving games! So fun!

Any phobias?

I’m scared of heights but I can be brave sometimes. I really don’t like slimy things like slugs and snails or boogers.

Favorite childhood sport?

I love swimming! I was actually on my high school swim team! I did the IM which is all strokes but I also did the Butterfly 🏊🏼‍♀️ and my team started the school’s synchronized swimming team too! 🙆🏽‍♀️🌊

Do you talk to yourself?

All the time! But who doesn’t? And to my pets and stuff too.

What movies do you adore?

I used to love going to the movies but I haven’t been back much since covid. And I don’t really seek out older movies to watch. But I love romance so stuff like Pride & Prejudice and Fools Rush In. And my family loves Disney so Tarzan, and The Incredibles are my faves! We rewatch a lot of Disney films all the time.

Coffee or tea?

I very much enjoy tea but I seldom drink it. I should change that 🤔 and I’m unfortunately chronically tired and need coffee to survive 😞 but I don’t get the complex drinks, just a regular coffee, 2-3 cups a day.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

Uhh idk really. My answer was always changing, I never had a *dream* career 🤷🏽‍♀️

Not sure who hasn’t been tagged but I’d love to read your responses! No pressure though!

@buckystilinski @stormyoceans @petrichoraline @poetry-protest-pornography @absolutebl @heretherebedork

[theoldlesbianwithcats]

I know polilez and fauxbians have always been around and probably will always be, so my question is how to not let this get to you/bring you down/prevent you from seeking out other lesbians out of dear that they might be fake?

I don't want to focus on things I cannot control and being angry all the time?

Hi anon!

A friend asked me yesterday if I had any idea of question or catchphrase to find out if someone's a real lesbian or not (she suggested "Comphet, not even once") So unfortunately, we're all struggling with this!

In my experience, the best way of knowing if someone's a real lesbian is to say you're a gold star. If she laughs at you or complains, she's not a lesbian 😅

As to "how to not let this get to you/bring you down", I'd say: - If it's really too much, stop going on social media or at least stop looking at feminist/LGBT content for a few weeks to focus on something else and take a breather - Play a part in creating a real lesbian community. I know that lesbophobia (no matter where it comes from) has taught us to be ashamed, make ourselves small and shut up. We need to unlearn this, being openly a gold star should not be lonely or nerve-wracking, it should be joyful! So I think we should all ask ourselves that: how can we have fun together? Sure, for now there is a lot of discourse, but I'd love to see funny anecdotes, art, and memes for example. One of my dreams is that, whenever we search "gold star lesbian" on the internet, it would be so full of positive and fun content that it would drown out the haters!

(also, being off anon could be a good start to make lesbian friends, just saying 😁)

[dreamofmetoday]

Do you get a lot of hate on this blog?I was thinking of starting my own tarot themed blog but I see the way some other creators are treated and I don't know if it's worth it. Feel free to not answer this btw 😅

not really but i also wouldn’t consider my blog that popular (the maximum amount of followers i’ve had on a tumblr acc is 30k and it’s a different story). i would mostly go in knowing that people are going to make a lot of assumptions about you, for example: i have been accused of biasing and also hating the exact same woman based on how they interpreted the readings i did - there is no reason for people to make these assumptions but people make them anyway.

after a few years on the internet i’ve also realised that on top of bias and emotional attachments (that cause people to react a certain way to what you said), some people just have bad intuition or bad observation skills so they will just say things that are just really off the mark in general (though there are times when the opposite can be true so you should be careful with your privacy too!).

if you’re making a specifically kpop tarot themed blog i would mostly just keep in mind that the kpop tarot community on tumblr is really small so your biggest haters will more likely be other blogs with too much ego lol (or loyal fans of those blogs that send lots of asks about you or your readings to try and get an answer they want more). but i honestly wouldn’t let this discourage you too much! if you find enjoyment in it and think you can bring clarity then you should honestly go for it! i hope to see you around 🩷

[queerautism]

Ughhhh syscourse.... Small rant here, I don't think there are any trigger warnings to give

I have thought that I might be a system. I still don't know. I do know that I have childhood trauma, but that I don't remember it. So if I am a system, I guess I'd be traumagenic. That's not really relevant, though.

The point is, it's really hard to find good system related support. And do you know what makes that so much harder? Syscourse. Instead of trying to improve the community, for traumagenics only or otherwise, so many people are just so, so angry.

I felt so confused and scared when I started researching, and it felt like my only choices for resources were very clinical and ignorant psychology reports or syscourse. It kind of feels like when people in the queer community spend their time trying to dictate who can and can't identify with certain things.

Like, there are actual people damaging your community, you know? There are people in your community who need help.

With something like DID, OSDD, or other plurality... I mean, good resources are so hard to find already. My own "professionals" said it didn't exist. Shouldn't the community realize how isolating it is to be so confused, and focus on providing accessible information and resources?

This isn't directed at you of course, I just - idk, I feel like people are just misdirection their anger from actual hateful, ignorant people that are spreading actual misinformation.

I don't know if this makes any sense. If you respond to this, I just want to ask all the anon haters - How did you feel at the start? How did you learn what was going on? Is what you're doing worth it? Could you be doing something better for your community, with this time?

Anyway, I hope this all isn't getting to you... and I'd better hope this is 100% grammatically correct or I'll be in big trouble 😅

Thank you for sharing. I've mentioned before I currently don't have any resources I feel 100% comfortable sharing, because of all this bullshit being so ingrained in the entire discourse surrounding the topic

We can say, as a traumagenic system ourselves, endogenic blogs and resources have been so much more helpful in understanding things and how we work etc

[non-binharry]

oh no sorry i didn't even see the typo! 😅 to be fair, I'm one of those fans who think the situation could have been solved better: i didn't have my money for three years and now i still don't have it (yet) and would need to fight tickets again and that could have been avoided if he refunded us earlier or didn't change venues/kept the tickets valid but anyways, harry haters shouldn't be involved in this conversation At All, I'm glad we all agree on that at least

and i agree with you! i wish every fan who has had their shows cancelled altogether or now has to attempt to get a new one because of a venue change had more direct communication from hshq or more peace of mind because it really does suck to hold out hope for something for years and then face the disappointment that it's not going to happen after all that time, but also as fans we obviously have a very limited perspective on what the actual plans were or how much effort went into trying to find solutions to an issue that no one could have ever predicted, so people who choose to believe everything was done intentionally to fuck over fans and make more money off of them because that benefits what the fuck they want to believe about someone they don't even know can seriously can it