#i want to get better and i know i do but. being sad and depressed is all i know. its comforting in a sick way and when i think of a time

[kpop---scenarios]

Reckless (8)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader

Warnings: Sadness, Violence

Word Count: 2.1k

Taglist: @hyunjinhoexxx @ovulatingrn @jisunglyricist @guiltycoco @fawnpeaks @purple-bell @caught-in-the-afterglow @ana-marais98 @rylea08 @astraystayastayastray @partyparty-yah @skzswife @sillyhal @feellikecinderella @asphalstead @minh0scat @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @hyun-hwanj @zerefdragn33l @stelle-aka-simp @iambangchanswife @seungminsapuppy @chanbahng29 @blackbluerose666 @mmarusa @glitter-z

@gabriellamarie

Previous Chapters

“Y/N.. you have to listen to me.” Jisung panics. “I was only trying to do what was best for you.”

“What was best for me? So me being so depressed I couldn't shower, brush my teeth, or even fucking eat was the best for me?” You scream. “Why do you get to choose who I love and who I want to be with?”

“He's my fucking best friend! I didn't want things to change between us, or me and you. And I knew they would. Not to mention I think there's better guys out there for you.” Jisung says, glancing at Minho.

“Your reasoning for ruining him and me was because you didn't want to lose your best friend? Are you fucking kidding me!? How selfish are you!? I can't.. I can't even look at you right now.” You whisper.

“Why would you tell her? Fuck sakes.” Jisung yells at Minho.

“Are you serious?” Minho gasps. “You told her I said some awful shit and you're mad at me for telling her that you made me choose?”

“It was for her own good! And yours! Neither of you would have been happy with each other!” Jisung screams.

“How do you know!? Huh, how do you know!? I've never felt so fucking safe and content with anyone, except when I was with Y/N. She made me feel like I could do anything..like I could be anything. You have no fucking idea how much better I felt about my shitty life when I was with her. And YOU took that away from me!” Minho screams back. “You ruined me! You ruined her! So fuck you!”

“Fuck you too!” Jisung yells. “What does it matter now anyways, huh? You gonna abandon Maya and your fucking baby to be with my sister now? Huh?” Jisung yells.

You stand there, shock flowing through your body, your mouth hanging down as you stare at Minho with tears in your eyes.

“Fuck.” Minho screams. He lunges for Jisung, tackling him to the ground. You can barely even process what was happening in this very moment. You were too stuck on Maya and baby.

A baby.

He was having a baby?

With someone else..someone he really didn't even like. You watched Minho on top of your brother, getting shot after shot to Jisung's face, and Jisung trying to shield himself. You can't breathe. Your head was spinning. You so wished this fucking moment was a dream. You closed your eyes trying to wake yourself up but it wasn't working. Why wasn't it working? You just wanted to get up from this fucking nightmare.

Jisung manages to get Minho off of him, hitting him wherever he could. You turn around, walking out the front door. You continue to walk and walk until you have no idea where you are. You barely even remembered how you got to where you were. You pull out your phone, calling Chan. You needed someone but not your friends. You needed someone who was going to give it to you straight and not pussy foot around, and that person was absolutely Chan.

“Hellooo?” He answers.

“Can you pick me up?” You whisper. “I'm not terribly sure where I am.” You sigh.

“Give me street names and a number on a building if you can. I'll find you.” He says, hanging up the phone. You slip your phone back into your pocket, finally letting your tears flow. You crouched down, resting your head in your knees as you hugged yourself and sobbed. You felt so betrayed by the two people you trusted more than anyone else in this world, despite all the shit they had put you through.

“Y/N.” Chan whispers. You look up at him, you're sure mascara is smeared across your cheeks. He looks at you sympathetically, holding his hand out. You reach out to grab it, he pulls you up, helping you to his car. He opens your passenger side door, closing it once you're in and heading to the driver's side. The entire car side is silent, aside from your whimpering. You appreciated that he wasn't badgering you for information but instead waiting until you were ready. He pulls into the parking lot of his apartment building. You follow him inside, heading to his couch, where you pull your knees up to your chest and take a few deep breaths.

“So.” You begin. You can feel your lip beginning to tremble again as you try to get the words out. The tears threatened to roll down your cheeks again.

“Take your time.” Chan half smiles.

“Jisung.. he um, he told Minho that he had to choose between me and him.” You whisper. “So he had to make a decision if it was going to be me, or his best friend, his brother.” You say.

“What?” Chan gasps.

“That's not even the worst.” You half laugh. “Remember how I told you those things Jisung told me Minho said about me?” You ask. He nods his head. “Turns out Minho never said them. Jisung made it up to make sure I stayed away from him.” You cry. “And now I find out that Maya is pregnant, and Minho is going to be a dad, and I feel like I have no one and my entire world is fucking falling apart.” You whimper. Your chest gets tight as you try to catch your breath. Chan grabs onto your arm, looking you in the eyes, his face close to yours.

“Breathe, Y/N. Come on, breathe.” He smiles. You take a few deep breaths, maintaining eye contact until you feel like you can breathe again. He smiles at you. You lean in, pressing your lips to his. He doesn't move away, but the kiss.. Is not how a kiss should feel. You both back away, looking at each other a little confused.

“That wasn't..” Chan starts.

“No offense, but it felt like I was kissing a cousin.” You giggle.

“No offense taken, I feel the exact same.” Chan laughs. “I think we're meant to be friends.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.” You smile. “Look, I'm sorry about this.” You sigh. “Calling you, all the crying and big dump of issues I just threw at you.”

“Isn't this what friends do?” He smiles. “I'm pretty sure friends are meant to be there for you when you need them.”

“Well I really appreciate it. Any advice on what to do? I don't know if I can go back there.” You say.

“Did you hear back from that psychology scholarship you applied for a few weeks ago?” He asks.

You shake your head. While you were on your healing journey, you had applied for a scholarship at a different University across the country. You had thought it would be nice to get away and go somewhere for a fresh start for a few months at least. You really didn't think you were going to get it.

“Well feel free to stay here tonight, if you want.” He tells you. And that's exactly what you did. You had messaged Jisoo and Hyunjin, letting them know there were some issues and you were turning your phone off.

It was mainly because Minho and Jisung would not stop fucking calling and texting you. You needed time away and would turn it back on in the morning, when you were ready. That night you spent your whole time with Chan, watching movies, eating good food and just talking. You talked about everything and nothing, how you were feeling, your feelings for Minho, which, despite everything, haven't changed. You still loved him, and seeing him after a month of not seeing him had every single thought and feeling you had rushed back to you at full force. But you weren't sure if you could do it with him, not to mention he was going to be a dad. How could you come in between him and the mother of his child? You weren't that type of person.

That night you laid on Chan's couch, your mind racing between everything. You were so fucking conflicted and you honestly just wished you could get away. You turned on your phone, feeling the need to scroll mindlessly through TikTok or something. You had a few texts come through that you ignored, and an email. You checked the email, and sat up on the couch.

“Congratulations Miss L/N Y/N.” You read. “You've been selected for the scholarship in…” You pause. You screamed, as loud as you could, forgetting it was 3am and Chan was sleeping. He rushed into the living room, looking panicked with a baseball bat in his hand.

“What?” He yells. “What happened?”

“I GOT IN!” You cry. “I got the scholarship!”

“Oh my god, Y/N, that's amazing!” He yells, rushing over to hug you. He squeezes you so tightly, like a proud dad. It filled your heart with so much joy. Jisoo and Hyunjin had the same reaction when you told them the next day, but then sadness filled the room.

“I can't believe you're really leaving.” Hyunjin pouts. You take his hand, holding it tightly.

“I'll be back. I promise.” You smile. “It's only for a few months. And it'll be good for me to get away. From everything.”

“I still can't believe Jisung did that to you.” Jisoo sighs. “I broke up with him, by the way.” She tells you.

“What? Why? You really liked him.” You gasp.

“I did, but the fact that he could do that to his own sister is just appalling.” She says.

“His heart was in the right place, Ji. He definitely went about it the wrong way, but don't let it ruin your relationship. You seem to be having a positive impact on him and I like that.” You smile.

Later that day, you went home. You see a depressed Jisung sitting on the couch, wallowing in self pity and ice cream. The second he sees you, he jumps off the couch. A tear rolls down his bruised cheek.

“Y/N.. I'm so fucking sorry.” He whispers. “I was so selfish and just such a piece of shit.. my god, I'm so sorry for everything.” He tells you. You walk towards him, wrapping your arms around him.

“I know.. I know your heart was in the right place.” You sigh.

“But I went about it in the worst possible way. And I will never forgive myself for that, Y/N. I was really just trying to protect you.” He says, holding you tighter.

“I know you were.” You say. “I forgive you, but I'm still so fucking mad at you.

“Jisoo is too. She broke up with me.” Jisung sighs.

“I spoke to her already, I'm sure you'll be getting a call soon.” you smile. “Listen.. I have some news.” You say, pulling away from him. You lead him to the couch to sit down.

“Oh god, what?” He whispers. You can tell he's scared.

“I got accepted for a scholarship at a university.. across the country.” You grin.

“Oh my god, Y/N! That's so amazing! I'm so happy for you!” He yells. “How long are you gone for?” He asks.

“Just a few months.. but given everything, I need a few months away.” You half chuckle.

“I think so too. A nice little fresh start. Recharge and do a lot of thinking. Make some new friends. I'm really excited.” You say.

“When do you leave?” He asks.

“Saturday..”

“That's tomorrow!?” He panics, standing up. “Get upstairs and get packing! Right now!” He exclaims. You laugh as you stand up, pulling him in for another hug. You head upstairs to your room, pulling out your suitcases and start packing, making sure to do the essentials first. A few hours into your packing, there's a knock at your door.

“I am packing Jisung, don't worry!” You yell. The door opens.

You turn around, Minho stands there. You don't know what to say.

“You're really leaving?” He asks.

“Not forever.” You say. “But this is a great opportunity and I need time.”

“She's not pregnant.” He blurts out. “It was a false alarm.”

“I'm sorry.”

“Why? I didn't want to have a baby with her, I don't even want to be with her. It's you, Y/N. I know everything has been shit these last few months and I'm so sorry for that but it's all done. Everything is out in the open, we can really be together.” He smiles.

“Minho..” you sigh.

“Please Y/N. Please don't go. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I want it all with you, I'm all fucking in. Just please.” He begs.

“Please don't leave me.”

[xsolaresx]

daryl dixon.: love goes through the fire

Pairings: daryl dixon x fem! reader married!

Summary: after being kidnapped and tortured by Negan, the reader does everything she can to make Daryl feel better.

Warnings: angst! sad! graphic description of Glenn and Abraham's death! mention of torture! only depression from here on!

WC.: 3,9k

Author @xsolaresx  

Notes: English is not my first language, so there may be some grammatical errors.

(gif is not mine, https://br.pinterest.com/pin/690106342925382015/)

The noise still bothered me every night. Whenever my eyes closed, even for just a second, the sound of the bat repeatedly hitting Abraham's skull and then Glenn's tormented me. 

One hit after another, and at the end Negan's diabolical laughter. 

I could still feel Glenn's blood dripping down to my knees, I was so close to him that after it was over I was covered in his blood and the scraps of skin that flew off. No matter how many baths I forced myself to take, that sticky feeling of fresh blood never left my skin. And sometimes I still found a patch of my skin with a crimson tinge impregnated in it. 

My dark circles told anyone who saw me that I hadn't slept for days. I kept reliving the moment like an endless loop in my head. I still remember how that day began, that week, that month, how the whole situation ended the way it did. 

Hilltop had enemies, and Alexandria needed food. One thing led to another. 

First the massacre at the outpost, then the kidnapping of Carol and Maggie. Everyone had questions about whether it was the right thing to do, whether killing so many people was worth it, whether it was worth seeing another sunrise under so much blood. 

But Carol felt more, the deaths she had caused were beyond counting on her hands. We all kill to survive, but she was molded in this world, she wasn't raised with Rick's hero instinct, or the strength that the trauma and torture that Daryl suffered at the hands of his father and brother did to him. It was too much for her, she couldn't look us in the eye anymore, so she ran away from everything and everyone. 

There was no concrete reason for so many deaths, they were evil, weren't they? They killed people, and they die at the hands of our people. We did what had to be done. We saved a community from the so-called Saviors, but it couldn't have been that easy, there were more of them, there always would be. 

Daryl had to see it first hand. Denise died in front of him by her crossbow. It made him furious, we saved Dwight in the burning bush, helped him and his wife only for him to do something terrible in the end. Daryl had shown them a way, but they couldn't believe that was salvation.

He had to go back there, he had to finish what he didn't finish. He thought it was his fault that Tara no longer had a girlfriend. If only I could have stopped him before...

Everything happened so fast, Maggie got sick, we had to get her to Hilltop. I thought I'd meet Daryl at night, in our room, I'd arrive and he'd be waiting for me, he'd apologize for leaving unannounced, we'd talk and make things right, and then we'd sleep together and have a new day. 

But that day never came. 

They surrounded us on the road, left us with no way out and took us exactly where they wanted us. The frightening whistles were the prelude to something much worse to come. After that I only remember seeing Daryl shot and bleeding being dragged to the wheel, Abraham offering himself up and dying by the bat. 

Little by little I saw the terror forming in Rick's eyes. In all the years I've been with him leading this group, this was the first time I'd seen the elder Grimes lost, with no way out and praying that this madman wouldn't take someone else from our family. 

But Dixon got angry, he tried to get to Negan. And the next thing I knew, the bat with the barbed wire was next to my face. Daryl screamed so much, screamed, cried. 

"It's all right, my love. I love you, it wasn't your fault” I could only look at him, knowing that he would be the last thing I saw before I left calmed me down. 

Negan started smiling and swinging his baseball bat between the two of us. "What the fuck! Let's see what we've got here, guys."  

“P-please... no-no” 

“You'd better shut the fuck up, Rick! Or your dear son's next.” Negan shouted when Grimes tried to intervene, he knew that if I died Daryl would never be the same. "So you're a couple? Dwight's best friend has a wife? hohoho this just gets more interesting!"

“If you lay a finger on her I'll kill you, you bastard!” Daryl wasn't the type to take a beating quietly, even though he was losing blood and had a gun to his head he was going to try and fight back.

“Ah, but I'll remember that very well, dear Daryl... You know what... I'm tired of all this, why don't we just get it over with, huh?” The next thing I saw was blood gushing everywhere. One second I had Glenn, my best friend, the person who had saved me in so many ways by my side, and the next I had a lifeless body. 

Daryl was taken away that night, as a guarantee that we would stay on the line. And only God knows what happened to him during those days.

I couldn't bear to see him so bruised and dirty the first time the Saviors came to Alexandria. That wasn't my Daryl anymore, he looked so fragile, wounded, defeated. He was no longer the survivor who could take it all.

“No! He's my servant now, you don't talk to him, you don't look at him, and I don't make you cut off any part of his body.” Negan shouted when Rick tried to talk to Dixon. “And that goes for everyone, even his wife, understand?” I couldn't walk away, I needed to hug Daryl, tell him that everything was going to be okay and that I was there, but I couldn't risk someone else in our family, so I just turned and walked to our house, mine and Daryl's, unable to hold back the tears any longer. The last thing I heard was Negan's shrill laughter. “That one knows how to take orders, Rick!”

A few days had passed since then, we hadn't heard from Daryl, Maggie was hiding in Hilltop, which was under threat from the Saviors. Rick went out every day in search of supplies for the Saviors, and I... couldn't leave the house. I couldn't leave the room, the bed where I could still smell Daryl.

Frantic knocks started at my door, and when I opened it, I saw Gabriel. "He's back, Y/N. He hasn't done anything yet, but he's back with Carl, they're at Rick's now and he's not back from his run with Aaron yet. I-I don't, we don't know what to do, Judith is there with them and..."

"Gabriel, breathe. It's okay.” I held the priest by the shoulders, trying to calm him down. Everyone was lost, scared. “Tell everyone to stay in their homes, they mustn't have come for anything else, so don't provoke them, okay?” 

“But Judith... I... I promised Rick I'd look after her...” 

“I'll go, okay?” I grabbed my sweater and left the house in the direction of Rick's. If Carl is back with Negan, it means that the boy went after him planning some revenge. He's so young, but he harbors so much anger, he's lost so much to this world. 

“Hold it right there, cutie,” one of Negan's henchmen stopped me on the front steps of the house. 

“I want to talk to him.”

“You can let her through, let's hear what the wife has to say” I stared at the man until he got out of my way. I was angry, the way he called me 'wife' only reminded me that every day Daryl was in prison, being tortured by him. “Hello, my dear, to what do I owe your presence in my humble abode?” Negan was sitting on the balcony with Judith on his lap asleep, Carl was next to him without the bandage on his eye with a sad and angry expression. I completely ignored the killer and turned to the boy.

“Are you all right, Carl?”

“Yeah. I'm fine, he didn't do anything,” he replied, lowering his head. I turned to Negan, who didn't look the least bit happy at being ignored. 

“I want to see him.”

“You're going to have to be more specific, sweetheart.”

"I want to see my husband, see if he's alive. You can search me, I don't have any weapons after you took them all. Take me with you to him." A devilish smile appeared on his face. 

“You know, I can see that you don't look so good after I took your man, but I don't know if I was very clear when I said that he's now my servant, maybe you won't like what you see, your husband isn't the most sociable.”

"I know he's not, but I've seen worse. I need to see him alive, it's okay if he's dirty." 

"Ah girl, you're a tough nut to crack. But I understand, I can't go too many days without seeing my wives, Carl here has met some of them and he can tell you how hot they are! Tell you what, I'll talk to Rick, we'll settle up and if I'm still in a good mood you can come with me." 

“Thanks”

“Oh how I like that word, thank you.” Then Spencer arrived, started his plan to take Rick out and ended up dying. Eugene was going to be taken away for making the bullet. 

“You're gonna take me, right?” I shouted as Negan neared the gate, about to leave. 

"Y/N... what? No." Rick tried to approach but I moved away, I needed to see Daryl.

“I almost forgot the wife, search her, you're coming with me in the truck”

I kept quiet the whole way, blindfolded, the truck had three seats, the driver was some kind of savior who kept quiet and Negan made me stay in the middle of them in case I decided to jump out during the journey. 

“I told them to give your husband a bath, you know, to make him look more presentable, but no intimate visits, I don't want him to get too comfortable with all this” Negan said when we stopped in front of a room. “I also took him out of his cell, that's no place for a lady like you, my love”. When the door opened I saw Daryl in the corner of the room, a little cleaner, but cowering in the dark with an angry look on his face, but when he saw me he turned away from the wall in anguish. Dwight was in the other corner, standing guard. “I thought you guys would be more comfortable with an acquaintance on guard.”

“Not the best, but thanks,” I said between my teeth, looking at Dwight, who couldn't take his eyes off Daryl.

"What the fuck, baby! If you thank me one more time I won't be able to let you go, you've become my favorite." Then he left, closing the door. I ran over to Dixon, throwing myself into his arms, but he didn't return the hug, still focused on the other man in the room. 

"No, no, please, look at me, darling. Don't focus on him, focus on me, please.” I ran my hands over his face and turned him towards me, tears starting to well up in my eyes when I saw the bandage on his shoulder where he had been shot. “I missed you so much, are you okay?”

“I don't think he's going to say much, he probably doesn't even remember how he does it, does he Daryl?” 

"Shut the fuck up Dwight! If you don't I'll come over there and smash your face in” I turned to him who just laughed weakly and left the room. 

“You have to get out of here, you can't stay, I can't protect you... them... them” his voice was broken, as if he hadn't spoken for days. 

“Shiii, it's okay, I just came to see you, he's taking me back, we made a deal... What did they do to you, darling?”

“It was my fault”

"What? No, it wasn't, everything's fine at home, everyone's fine” He pulled my hand away from his face, moving away from me. 

“It was my fault, Glenn, then Maggie, she died because of me” 

“My goodness, no” I moved closer to him so that no one would hear. "Maggie's fine, the baby's fine, we did it so he wouldn't get suspicious. Everyone's fine” Daryl pulled me into a long-suffering kiss and began to cry, grabbing me in a hug, I sat on the floor with him still clinging to me. Dixon looked so broken, he wasn't the same strong guy who did everything for Rick. We stayed like that for a few hours, I ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down, he didn't sleep, he was on the lookout for any threat, but he closed his eyes, enjoying the affection. Until our bubble burst when someone opened the door. Daryl got up at a speed I didn't think he could manage, weakened like that, and promptly stood in front of me, protecting me from whoever came in. 

"Visiting hours are over, honey. I hope you didn't take your clothes off after Dwight left." Negan entered the room with a smug smile, covering his eyes with his bat. 

“I'm very well dressed, much to your displeasure,” I said, getting up and standing next to Daryl, who promptly grabbed my hand. "I have to get back, but nobody's forgotten you here, okay? We'll get you out of this, sweetheart."

“I wouldn't be so sure, but now Laura will take you back, and I hope your puppy behaves better after the visit.” Negan left and a blonde woman came in, waving us out.

I hugged Daryl one last time, kissing his forehead and left the room. 

The days passed more melancholy and with preparations for the war against the Saviors approaching. Rick got help from the people at the Dump. We were on our way to Hilltop to talk to Maggie and get her support. 

But when the gates opened, my vision blurred with tears... Daryl was there, a little shy, but waiting for us halfway. 

I threw my backpack on the floor and ran as fast as I could to him, his arms already open waiting for me, and he kissed me with such urgency that I lost my breath. We stayed like that for a few minutes, crying and hugging, until Rick approached us in silence, his smile unmistakable. 

I broke away from Dixon, making room for Rick and the others to hug him. Joyful laughter with tears coming out of me. 

_______________________________

“We can't try anything without Hilltop's weapons, we have a lot of personnel, but it's still too little, and we're vulnerable that way.” Maggie said after we left Gregory's room, the asshole would rather spend his whole life under threat than fight back. 

“She's right, but maybe I know someone who'd be interested in helping... they call themselves The Kingdom.” Jesus intervenes, from the corner of the room, where we're hugging, Daryl squeezes my hand with an air of hope and I can't help but smile at him with confidence too.

“Do you think they'd be allies in the war?” Rick asks, shifting in his seat. The situation isn't the best, I realize that now. I was so numb from missing Daryl that I didn't focus on protecting the community, and Rick had to handle it alone. 

“They also suffer threats from the Saviors, but the community doesn't know about it, only the leader and people they trust.” 

“He doesn't want to create panic or riots for no reason,” I say and everyone agrees. “So, what are we waiting for?” With a nod from Rick, everyone leaves the mansion and heads for their cars. The whole time Daryl didn't let go of my hand and I didn't make a point of complaining, he wasn't one to show much affection in the midst of so many people, but after everything that happened to him, I understand. 

The Kingdom was very large, with many warriors training and many families, protected and happy. I squeeze Dixon's hand tighter when I see a couple with a newborn baby surrounded by elderly women. He stares at the couple and lowers his head.

When we enter the auditorium, the first thing that catches our eye is the huge tigress sitting next to a guy on a kind of throne. Rick shies away from approaching her, but they talk normally. Until Morgan appears, and Daryl asks me quietly where Carol is. “It's a delicate subject, but if Morgan's here she must be all right, you know she's tough.” He nods, even though his curiosity isn't quenched, he knows it's not time.

The King didn't accept our proposal, but gave Daryl the freedom to take refuge in the Kingdom for as long as he needed. 

“We need to go Y/N, they can go into Alexandria after Daryl.” Rick appeared next to us as I was saying goodbye to Dixon, I nodded and he walked away. 

“It's temporary, when this is over you're not leaving my side anymore, okay?” I held Daryl's cheeks and he bowed his head sadly. 

“I want to go with you, I want to help put an end to this”

"You'll help, my love. Staying here, safe. Maybe you can convince the King, we need him."

“You know I'm not that diplomatic”

“Let's look at this situation as an opportunity, what do you think?” I smile to break the mood, Daryl gives a sad smile. “I'll never leave you, my love” I say more seriously so that he feels the truth, these days away from him were the worst and I don't want it to happen again.

_______________________________

“Look, look, look, Rick Grimes has come to greet me on my doorstep!” Negan and his henchmen arrived shortly after we got back from the Kingdom, someone up there is surely on our side. "I love seeing your abandoned dog face, Rick, but today my business is with your little friend's wife. Why don't you bring her to me?" 

Rick nods begrudgingly, turns and starts walking towards the main house where we were all gathered, waiting for some sign of Grimes. 

“He wants to talk to you.” Rick approaches and says quietly. “Be careful, he's unpredictable.” 

"That's all right, Rick. I'll put him in his place, I've had enough of this.” I walk away quickly, anger overflowing just knowing that because of him my Daryl is shaken. 

“Y/N, no, wait.” Rick tries to stop me, but it's too late, I'm striding hard towards Negan. 

“I hear you want to talk to me.” That maniac's smile only gets wider when he sees me.   

"Oh, hello, darling. How are you? Miss your husband?" 

“You've got to be kidding... of course I miss him, if you don't remember you took him away from me and I'm very possessive of what's mine,” I say through my teeth. If he thinks I'm going to be compassionate and keep my mouth shut, he's mistaken.

"Wow, that's what I like about you, darling. You're tough as nails,” he says with a mischievous laugh. "The problem is that your husband was very moved by your visit, you know? And he must have thought it was a loophole for an escape." 

“Wait, what?” I say exasperated, I've always loved acting. “You mean you've lost my husband?” 

“I thought you could help me find him.” 

“You're unbelievable...” I whisper indignantly. “If you think he's here you can look, have your goons search every house, every manhole or cupboard in this place.”

“You're always a refreshment to me, darling, you always know what I want.” I roll my eyes as he sends his men to search Alexandria. 

As expected, they find nothing and leave, promising to return next week to collect supplies. 

“I have to go, Rick,” I warn Grimes. To avoid the risk of them following me, I waited a few hours after they left, and night came. I need to see Daryl, he won't stay another night thinking we've abandoned him. He gets up from the rocking chair on the porch of his house with Judith on his lap and approaches.

“Okay, but be careful, make sure no one's following you.” Rick hugs me in his fatherly way. We were always close like brothers, after I lost everything Rick was there as a leader for everyone. “And send him a hug, tell him we miss him.” 

“I will.” I say goodbye to him and kiss the head of a sleepy Judith, who gives me a smile. I grab a car and head out through the cellars of Alexandria, towards the Kingdom, towards Daryl.

_______________________________

“She's magnificent” Daryl was standing next to Shiva's cage when I arrived at the Kingdom. Quiet and shrunken, just stroking the snout of the tigress who melted at his touch.

“She is.” he confirms with a frown. I moved closer until I could see tears forming in his eyes. I quickly bent down, sat next to him and hugged him tightly, which he reciprocated. 

"It's all right now, my love. I'm here, you're not going to stay away from me any longer.” I tried to calm his crying, which was only getting more intense. I've never seen Daryl so broken, he seemed to be accumulating all the suffering, the pain, waiting to fall apart on me. He would never do that to anyone else. 

“I got scared.” Daryl says after he calms down. “I was afraid of losing you too, losing our family.” 

“You're not going to lose me, ever.” 

“But what if it does?” Daryl lifts his head with a more serious look. "When they tortured me, all I could think about was you, that you'd be alone out here, unprotected. They could do anything to you to make me accept the fact that I was nothing in that place. And I felt like nothing."

“No, no, no.” I pull Daryl's face so that he pays close attention to me. “You're not going to lose me, you know why? Because your wife is strong, she'll go through hell to pull you out of the fire and when I can't do it anymore I'll have our whole family helping me, because I love you, Daryl, we love you. That's what love does, it turns us into fighters, people who would do anything for the one they love. I love you, Daryl.” Tears flowed non-stop from my eyes and Daryl's.

“I love you, Y/N” His lips met mine fervently, it was a needy kiss, as if he had been thirsty for days and I was his oasis in the desert. I gave myself completely to him, wanting more and more all the time. 

We were too wrapped up in our bubble, completely forgetting that Shiva was still in the cage next door, and an imposing roar from her broke us out of this bubble of lust. 

“I don't think she likes not being the center of attention,” we laughed when we noticed the tigress's angry face at being left out. 

“She'll have to accept it, because now my only attention is on my wife.” 

[bb0nline]

I know I haven't posted here in forver but mp100 moots PLEASE tell me you know who wrote the fanfic "Sadness Accident" and if it still exist I can't find it anywhere and it is literally my fav fic of all time I'm going crazy😭😭😭😭.

[bunnihearted]

🐰🩹🧸🏨

[lunarharp]

wip thing...

of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)

they mean the world to me

[bittwitchy]

see the reality is i post on my rps usually when nobodys been there a bit and nobody is probably online, but the mental illness in me keeps saying its bc everyone secretly hates me and i dont deserve love, and when i tell a gov doctor that, they basically just say ‘take your antidepressant’s and shut up’ which is also funny when said gov doctor wont refill my fucking antidepressants in the first place

[charliesinfern0]

I’m experiencing symptoms

[doctor-wombat]

.

[merevide]

the music i listen to shouldn’t count whenever i’m on my period or sad or depressed or suicidal btw. like i’ve been listening to lucy dacus’ home video nonstop for the past like 3 days. that shouldn’t count.

[carcinized]

feeling of growing into my body is so nice too. god puberty sucked

[pepprs]

i wish i’d kept pushing the point (<- vagueposting). im so tired i’m hitting a wall. but why is the answer to feeling bottomlessly lonely just to love myself and be loved by myself? isn’t that only more loneliness?

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[neverendingford]

.

[butchvamp]

the dash is really rancid lately im ngl

[peachsayshi]

I just had my session with my therapist and I cried halfway through. Usually I hate crying, but didn’t realize how much I needed to let go of my emotions. 

I need to lose myself to some comfort characters right now 🥺

[1980ssunflower]

aouhhh 🥺💖💙🥰