#i want to hug vash

[fizzykittyrat]

Vash and Knives

[stefisdoingthings]

don't look (please do)

[untitledgoosegay]

re last reblog I do see fanfic culture pushing/replicating a certain model of "what trauma looks like," "how trauma works"

this is a problem across all areas of society obviously, but transformative works are, well, transformative. they're about crafting and modifying narratives where the fan-creator sees a flaw or a lack -- often for the better! don't get me wrong, I've done my fair share of "I take a hammer and I fix the canon," it's the main thing that gets my creative gears spinning -- but what happens when that "flaw" is simply a narrative not conforming to popular expectations?

some people just don't get PTSD from events that sound obviously traumatic. they're not masking, and they're not coping; they just straight-up didn't get the permanently-locked stress-response that defines PTSD. they walk away from a horrible experience going "well, that sucked, but it's over now." some people do get PTSD from events most people wouldn't find traumatic. we don't really know why some people get PTSD and others don't. but fandom has an idea of events that must be traumatizing, of a "correct" way to portray trauma. you see the problems with this lack of understanding in e.g. fans pressuring the devs of Baldur's Gate 3 to add dialogue where the player character badgers Halsin about his own feelings on his abuse -- because he must be traumatized, and his trauma must fit a certain mold and presentation of sexual trauma, under the mistaken impression that anything outside that narrow window is somehow "wrong" and disrespectful or even harmful to survivors.

take, for another example, the very common trope of a traumatized character who hates touch or sex "learning" to like touch or sex as a part of their healing process. certainly that can be healing for some people; other people will never like, or want, touch or sex, because of trauma or because they just don't. the assumption that someone who doesn't want sex or doesn't like to be touched must be traumatized, must be suffering from this perceived lack, is seriously harmful -- to asexual people, to people with sensory issues around touch, and to people for whom healing from trauma means freedom to refuse sex or touch.

and there's a secondary trope, one that's slightly more thoughtful but ultimately repeats the problem -- that once someone has learned that their boundaries will be respected, they'll feel it's safe to soften those boundaries. once they feel safe refusing touch or sex, they'll feel comfortable allowing it on their own terms. but many people don't, and many people won't! many people will simply never want to be touched, and never want sex, and they are not suffering or broken or lacking because of it. the idea that proving you'll respect someone's boundaries entitles you to test those boundaries -- the paradox is obvious, and yet this is something i've seen hurt (re-traumatize) people i care for.

people are imperfect victims. people don't heal in the ways you expect. many people have positive memories of their abuse, of their abusers. many people hurt others in the course of their trauma, in ways that can't easily be unpacked in a 5k oneshot. very few narratives of trauma and recovery actually fit the ones put forward by popular children's media and romance novels -- which are the ones I most see replicated in fandom spaces, because they provide the clearest narrative and easiest catharsis, and so they're easy and soothing to reach for.

that's not necessarily a bad thing! i am not immune to goopy romance tropes. i am not immune to teary catharsis. not every fic has to grapple with ugly realities. but there's a problem when these narratives become predominant, when people think they're accurate and realistic depictions of trauma, when the truth of trauma is unpleasant and uncomfortable, and doesn't fit any single narrative, let alone one of comforting catharsis

[raepliica]

h/c vashwood on the brain again

[kavaleyre]

seems like all I’m worth is what I’m able to withstand

[spaltedrat]

what the polygun!!!

[breezy-cheezy]

Febuwhump day 1: Touch Starved

Boy can’t say something like “I don’t deserve to cry” and NOT expect a hug....

[lovexpeacexdonuts]

@taaamaaaooo1 on twitter

[dozingpeach]

"one day, you'll believe you deserve the love you're given"

[demidevildonnie]

nothing in the world belongs to me, but my love, mine all mine

[rewordthis]

I feel him—

[revenantghost]

Okay, but what if

We hit the Tristamp Eriks barking like a dog scene. Haha, funny, Vash is naked and all that. But Wolfwood’s there, and he saw for fucked up Vash’s body was pre-July, and now it’s even more fucked up post-July. After the end of season one, Vash had no money, no connections to Home, even with his enhanced plant healing abilities, that had to have messed him up good.

And Wolfwood was horrified before. But now? Now it’s a whole other level.

[its-kall-the-clown]

If you want to cry use my heart

[doffyflamingo]

Miss you..

[grymmdark]

i need vash to grab my face and kiss it all over until i collapse from being too kissed out but unfortunately he is not real and so i remain unkissed :(

[hearts1ckness]

ive had vash the stampede for approximately 40 minutes and if anything happens to him i will kill everyone on the planet and then myself