#i want to understand if this is just toxic mob mentality or if people actually have concerns

[ineffabells]

Serious question: for those who put 'tcest DNI' in your ao3 tags, what's the reasoning? Do you actually think that a random tcest fan is going to come into your genfic and comment "cool story but wish you made them f*ck" or smth?? i just really can't imagine anything like that happening, which leads me to think that the tags more just being used as a middle finger to tcest fans?

i've never seen a fandom before where dnis were common in ao3 tags but it makes me feel kind of ick

[outmakingmoonshine]

(Some of) my hopes (and some theories) for S3

The number 1 thing I want is a scene after Nat's had her baby where Carmy sees Syd holding the baby and his entire world stops bc that's all he wants for his future 😭 If Sydcarmy kiss or something I'll be happy and I'll reblog every single gif of it like a normal person BUT if we get a Syd holding the baby scene I'm gonna be uncontrollable on every social media platform available. I might even post it on Reddit and watch the meltdown! This is where the bar of my expectation is for S3. If we get this (or anything remotely like it) I'll be so satisfied, any other good thing that happens between Sydcarmy will be a bonus for me.

We know we're getting a Syd x Pete scene and I want a Carmy x Pete scene where Pete's talking about how great Syd is and Carmy can't help but warm to him a bit more. The potential relationships between Syd x Pete and Pete x Carmy are so important to me 🥹 my three awkward, anxious lonely babies (Pete's not lonely now but I think he probably was once upon a time and the Berzatto men singling him out of the family must make him feel lonely and not good enough :( I love Carmy but I will fight him for Pete's dignity and honour!)

Putting the rest under a cut because it's mostly just my musings and ramblings

I want Nat to say something to Carmy about his relationship with Syd. Nat saw their dynamic before Claire came, she saw Syd's reaction to Claire, how sydcarmy's dynamic changed when Claire was around and how Carmy ditching her made Syd feel. She didn't witness all of that for nothing. Someone's gotta tell Carmy how he's been (unintentionally) making Syd feel and I doubt it'll be Syd.

I need to see Richie start respecting Pete at least a little bit. Carmy's already kind of made a step towards respecting and even appreciating Pete for who he is a bit more but I need to see it from Richie too because I'm pretty sure he's the one who leads that little mob mentality against Pete. Even if it doesn't actually happen this season, I need to see it heading in that direction because Pete doesn't deserve all this slander 😭 I need Richie and Carmy to start seeing that the only difference between them and Pete is that he's mature and confident in who he is. They're both not confident in who they are so their only way of feeling like they're above him/better than him is to make fun of him for it. (IRL grown adults with this infantile mentality get on my last nerve so I need to see them come to a realization soon.)

I want Donna to make amends and start finding peace. I know she's technically an antagonist in this story but it really bothers me the way people dismiss her as if she's some monster like we aren't watching Carmy treat the people he loves the exact same way she does. If we can empathize with a man for his toxic behaviour we can empathize with a woman who was going through her own trauma and loss while she had 3 kids (plus Richie) to look after. Any parent who welcomes another person's child into their family unit for years and makes them feel like part of the family despite whatever she's going through, isn't a monster imo. I know she traumatized her kids but honestly, most parents do that and have no remorse about it. Donna has remorse for her actions and the effect it had on her kids. And what is Carmy doing to Sydney's self-esteem and confidence right now? He's definitely not helping it! l If I can forgive Carmy because he's acting on his trauma and I understand he's not just a horrible person by choice, I can do the same for Donna. I know some ppl just don't like JLC because she's pro-zionist (idek I just saw this online somewhere?) which I understand but at the same time, the actress is seperate to the character. Donna's favourite person in the world is gonna be her beautiful black daughter in law! She's gonna love and appreciate Syd so much.

I want Donna's story to end with her starting to heal so people watching this show know that even late in life when you've made all the worst mistakes and inflicted your pain on others you can still heal and try to right those wrongs. It's never too late to start being a better person. This wasn't meant to turn into a rant about Donna but I think the way some fans talk about her character is so unfair and narrow minded because they don't keep the same energy for Carmy.

Some of my theories for S3

I know no one wants to hear this but I think 3x09 Apologies will be an apology to Claire where Carmy finally comes clean about why he gave her a fake number and why he can't be with her, putting an end to romantic Claire/Carmy for good. If we see the end of Claire in the first few episodes I'll be happy but I doubt they'll waste the "suspense" of Claire/Carmy vs SydCarmy by ending it 3 or even 4, 5 episodes in. I don't think she'll be in all 9 episodes leading up to it tho (please no, I love Molly but that's way too much of Claire.)

JAW said during awards season "Claire deserves an apology" which seemed random to me at the time because no one asked him that, he just brought it up and we all know Syd is the one who deserves the biggest apology from Carmy. Idk if they were filming S3 yet when he said that but he already knows where the story is going. Actors don't just play character's "blind" without knowing something about where their story is leading, especially main characters.

I think they'll do the Syd/Claire switcheroo and make it seem like Carmy's going to apologize to Syd (because it will be glaringly obvious he needs to) but it'll be him telling Claire the truth and ending things with her. Idk if Syd will get an actual apology (it would mirror 1x08 where Marcus got the actual apology and Syd didn't even though she probably deserved it more) but I think we will get some kind of super intimate heartwarming/heartbreaking scene from sydcarmy in that episode, just like 2x09.

Also Ayo said something like sydcarmy fans won't get what they want in S3 and it's the one time I actually believe her.

I think we're going to get some amazing sydcarmy scenes in S3 but I don't think it's going to end well for them. I think S4 will mirror S1 and build their dynamic up again back to what it was before Claire came in 2x03. I think S4 is gonna be THE sydcarmy season.

I'm in two minds about whether Syd will sign the contract or not. I'm leaning towards no because despite it meaning Carmy can't just leave again, going off to do whatever he wants with "wHoEvEr" and she'll have his full focus, I just don't think she wants a legal contract to be the basis of why they're committed to working together. Syd's never tried to tie Carmy to her so I don't think she'll appreciate him doing it to her. Carmy's doing this out of desperation, not out of purely wanting to collaborate with her and Syd will sense that. I think Syd wants him to want to work with her. That's why she never actively tried to get him to stay and work with her in S2 and she could've been way more direct and harsh than "I need your focus like you need mine", Lord knows he would deserve it but she isn't trying to force him. That's why she never made him feel bad about being with Claire either even though he ditched her for Claire right when they were getting closer. She doesn't want to guilt trip him or make him feel like he owes her something, she wants it to be his own decision. She wants him to show that he wants it just like she does. And he does...but he just doesn't know how to show it in a healthy way and toxicity raised him so I can't blame him.

Idk what's gonna happen between Syd & Marcus or Syd & Luca but I don't think it actually needs to be romantic to make Carmy jealous, especially if he and Syd aren't seeing eye to eye. I don't think it's necessarily gonna be romantic for Syd either, even if they see her that way. Just like Carmy didn't really see Claire romantically (in present day anyway) and I will die on that hill. That man had zero romantic interest in her despite literally kissing and having sex with her. It was more like he was just going through the motions of a "normal" relationship than it being something he genuinely wanted. Why does he show SO MUCH want and desire for Syd but not a single iota of the same for Claire?!

Seeing Syd get close to any other man is going to bother Carmy regardless, especially if he knows the man is attracted to her. But I feel like Syd is a 'connection before anything else' kinda girl (Carmy is too, that's why having sex with Claire literally sent him into a spiralling panic attack the morning after) but Syd doesn't have the exact same issues and trauma that Carmy has so I can't see Syd being with or sleeping with someone she doesn't feel connected to like that. I could be wrong but I can't see her changing her mind about Marcus and suddenly dating him at this point. She seems like someone who knows what she wants and won't settle for less just because it's available. (Not that Marcus is "less" than anyone, my sweet little cherub.) I could see her feeling a connection to Luca though, he's basically a calm version of Carmy that pays attention.

Ayo basically saying in an interview that Will Poulter pays attention to her instead of his phone was such a random piece of info imo. I get it made context in the story she was telling but it just seems like such a deliberate pointed thing to bring up knowing right now in the show Syd doesn't feel appreciated or listened to by Carmy. She could've answered the question without mentioning Will at all tbh, and even if she did mention him she didn't need to mention all of that, give us a whole backstory and everything, idk. This might be a reach but I'm pretty sure they give out of context clues like this in interviews, they definitely do it in the show so I wouldn't be surprised.

I think it was a clue about the dynamic between Syd and Luca in S3 and the difference between Carmy and Luca is Carmy's unfocused and makes Syd feel like he doesn't listen to her but Luca makes her feel like he pays attention to her. I still don't think this needs to be in a romantic sense but I'm happy for Syd to get some TLC from a hot blond guy with tattoos before Carmy sees sense.

Idk we'll see how that story plays out in S3 but if the fact Luca pays attention to her is a plot point (even a subtextual one) I'm taking that story from Ayo as an out of context spoiler.

I love Marcus and I adore Lionel BUT I just can't see Marcus and Syd being together. Their vibe is so brother/sister to me that it would just be weird at this point in the show imo. The same way sydcarmy ending the show only ever being "platonic co-workers" would give me weird inappropriate vibes about their dynamic throughout the show. The romantic dynamic between sydcarmy and the platonic dynamic between Syd x Marcus are kinda set in stone imo, especially after S2. It'll be very difficult from a literary standpoint to drastically change those dynamics in a believable way and keep the quality of storytelling and integrity of the show intact at this point. It's not impossible, I just don't think it's likely at all.

I'll be honest, I'm not looking forward to Marcus's storyline in S3. My mum died when I was young so seeing kids (even if they're adults) attending their mum's funeral on shows/movies always makes me emotional, especially when it's a character I care about. (If we get a flashback of Syd at her mum's funeral I might actually die of sadness bc I'm not ready for that! I've had enough time to accept I'm gonna see Marcus's mum's funeral but if they spring Syd's mum's funeral on me too it might actually break me idk.) I am looking forward to seeing him be supported through it though and other than his mother's funeral storyline I'm excited to see where his story goes in S3. I feel like Carmy's gonna be an asshole to him if he starts getting closer to Syd and while I love the angst and jealousy of SydCarmy he better not hurt Marcus's feelings or be too hard on him. I can't wait for some Marcus x Luca scenes too.

I nearly forgot the loml, Tina! I'm so excited to see her story in S3, idek what to expect other than her backstory episode that Ayo's directing 🙌🏽 but I'm sure I will love it. Liza does so well in this role at making me feel things (all of the cast do tbh but Liza as Tina just plucks my heartstrings on a different level.)

If you read this far, thank you I appreciate you 💛

[poppyandzena]

(same anon as the recent recaps re: Noeh)

Someone anon'd Noeh with their theory that the rpe accusation was partially just a way to avoid admitting that Noeh might have broken up with them simply because Poppy (and P&Z) were just toxic, undesirable partners.

That's totally spot on.

Especially when Poppy had been so wildly vocal about their obsession with Noeh. Admitting that Noeh left after meeting them one time wouldn't be good for the ego or for the reputation. It could make other people question things.

Especially since the timing was so soon after Milena released the first docs and GayFesh was already on the way out. An UNDESIRABLE SUCUBUS?

All of the P&Z yelling has always been following the same playbook:

Deny. Divert. Delay. Discredit.

Step 1: Deny

None of that happened. The screenshots are out of context. My child is lying. Those docs are all lies. The few things that I am willing to admit to (because I can't deny it), aren't really that bad. Noeh totally wanted me. Noeh never said that she was ACE. Okay, maybe she did once, but she didn't really mean it because she didn't understand it. I don't HAVE to pressure someone into having sex with me. In fact, I only ever have sex with people who are ENTHUSIASTIC, so clearly Noeh was. Besides, restricting bathroom time is normal. Yelling at my partner all day long is healthy communication. Telling my prospective partners that they are responsible for my mental health and I'm not is a "boundary" that they must follow or it's their fault if anything goes wrong. *I* didn't dox those people, someone else did! It's not even LEGALLY doxing. *I* never harassed Noeh, I just put that image of her being called a r*pist up for a few months and repeated it and tagged her in it. That didn't have any REAL WORLD impact like me my job. People didn't stop being my friend because I was pushy, cruel, and selfish, it was just VIBES. People are only saying things because they got weaponized against me! I'm a licensed therapist. I know more than you. I AM RIGHT.

Step 2: Divert

Yeah, you have proof? Well I do, too! So much! Thousands of tweets worth! More than you could ever read or follow! Look at all those screenshots! Read these tweets! And these 7 articles that may or may not agree with me! By the time you realize that they don't actually prove my point I'll already be talking about the next thing and I'll make fun of you for trying so hard to prove that one small thing - that's just more proof of how dumb you are! Plus, I talked to lawyers! And a therapist! Maybe 5! Also, a bunch of these people only left because of VIBES! They didn't even read the docs! So that's proof that the docs are dumb! Look at all of these people who agree with me! Liana has a podcast so that makes her more believable! I'll also tag all of my allies all the time so that they have to get involved! Don't pay attention to whether or not they are "good" people. They are good because they agree with me and I AM RIGHT.

Step 3: Delay

I have so much proof! Slam dunk proof that my lawyers said would literally win any case against me. I'll get it out if I have to. I need to gather it up. There is a video coming at some point soon. I'll have to see if I can find that screenshot. If I get forced to show it and it doesn't match what I lied about, then I'll just say I was wrong. Oopsy no big deal no me. It's the bigger picture that matters most! Go read NightWyld's doc first before you talk to me. Go read that article I posted two weeks ago. I'll win a debate against anyone about this, but also I won't talk to any people who already spoke to my ENEMIES. I'll cover it later. On a different channel. Until then, though, just know that I am telling the 100% truth because I AM RIGHT.

Step 4: Discredit

You can't believe anything that this "mob" says. Milena is a ST*LKER (a term I notice Poppy picked up from Liana's discrediting of her own accusations). Noeh is a R*PIST! GayFesh is only doing it for the likes (even though all of their other posts get MORE attention). Spawn is a lying c*nt (still can't believe she called her child a c*nt). My old boss and friend of 20 years is just greedy and weak! Loomie wants to kill all animals! White Nervosa is weak and only doing what people tell them! One of them looked at KF one time, so they're all FARMERS! And SA apologists! Look at who they one time liked a tweet from! OMG! These are the people you want to TRUST? They are all just on a coordinated effort to end me. The goal is to make me admit I'm wrong. No, wait, the goal is to make me get cancelled. No wait, the goal is to make me lose my job. No, wait, the goal is to get clout off of me! No wait, the goal is to.. nevermind, it doesn't matter what the goal is because they are wrong and I AM RIGHT.

The sad part is that it is working somewhat. Poppy is still managing to drag new people into this and get them over to their side.

Although I notice they aren't having as much success anymore. They've lost partners because they didn't want to get dragged into the constant posting and tagging. Their own posts are only being liked and retweeted by Saige and their own secondary accounts.

That's why I follow this blog and try to keep engagement going. So that people have a safe, active space for when they are ready to start looking for the truth.

🧡🧡🧡

[deeaselriel]

Everyone has been treating Elriels SO BAD and disgustingly over the years, and when we defend ourselves we are painted as the “mEaN gUyS”. I’d dare to say that we are the “saints” of this fandom. I know there are some Elriels that can come off more rude than they should, but this is life. Nothing is perfect.

But a hard pill for y’all to swallow is that Elriels are usually soooo peaceful, minding their business and just enjoying their CANON content. They create edits, fan arts and post about Elriel not harming anyone, but then YOU KNOW WHO comes after us, ON OUR ACCOUNTS, ON OUR PRO ELRIEL VIDEOS, PICS OR THEORIES, that have absolutely NOTHING to do with their crackship(s), and spew their venom. They speak so many lies that don’t even come close to what is the CANON content of the books. They insult us and call us names, they bullied some creators SO BADLY they refuse to do Elriel fan arts anymore. YOU ALL ARE DISGUSTING AND I PRAY TO GOD FOR KARMA TO HIT SO HARD! I myself was a victim of y’all’s bullying when I did NOTHING! I just appreciated my Elriel and put facts on the table. Y’all told me I deserve to be R@PED just like Elain deserves!!!!

We, Elriels, have been put in a corner by THE ENTIRE FANDOM! This mob mentality made y’all treat Elriels like people with some kind of disease and it’s so sad honestly.

I’m not even being biased when I say that Elriels are usually very good people minding their business and the other stans of those 2 ships (y’all know) are constantly attacking us and making fun of us out of nowhere. They keep making content about Elain making fun of her, but yeah, they don’t like her. Lol. Y’all are so obsessed and have such internalized misogyny it’s scary. Especially when El didn’t do anything wrong, besides maybe the thing with Feyre that she’s making up for it. She’s a saint compared to many others in that serie, yet… she’s hated for liking to bake and plant flowers. Make it make sense. 😶

I think it’ll be ok for everyone to acknowledge WHO exactly is the most toxic in this fandom; who’s constantly attacking us for PUTTING FACTS on the table, who’s bullying artists into being scared to draw Elriel anymore, who’s harassing SJM at this point with a crackship that has 0 buildup. WHO IS SENDING DEATH THREATS to people so randomly just because, who is wishing R@PE on REAL people? The list is so long I just can’t…

I always knew that the mob mentality is forever going to be present, but OH MY GOD. These people that hate Elriel and ship the other ship just because “everyone does”, those going into the books already shipping Gw*nriel because “some content creators of TikTok said they’re sooooo endgame”, THOSE BIG ACCOUNTS THAT SPREAD ELAIN HATE JUST BECAUSE IT’S “TRENDY”. Y’all are SO pathetic; I wonder if you can think on your own.

Should I also talk about how often y’all don’t acknowledge what’s in those books related to Elriel? There are tons of evidence y’all pretend it’s not there and have THE NERVE to say Az only wants El for s*x. Bro, Feyre when she couldn’t read would’ve understand these books (and Elriel) better than y’all. 🤓 The delusional world y’all live in makes me laugh. What’s even funnier is when you are the ones making fun of US, when we have all our proof that Stands with us. WE ARE ON THE CANON SIDE, if we can say it this way.

Literally at this point, STOP being so toxic, and let Elriels IN PEACE. Acknowledge that Az and El have feelings for each other and that EVERYTHING points to them as endgame, and even SJM herself said that “it’s obvious”. None of us would’ve have any problem if y’all only acknowledged that Elriel is for the next book, and then go on with your day and make X head canon ships. It’s not harming to ship Az with someone else for fun, but when it comes to the ACTUAL BOOK & CANON, the answer it’s only Elriel. Just stop lying to yourselves. And stop playing the victim when Elriels have been like in prison for many years, being pushed aside and all. WE ARE THE VICTIMS OF THIS WHOLE FANDOM. The fact that I’m scared to even write a comment positive about Elriel or my girl Elain because I just know someone’s gonna say something “ironic” or bash me for whatever reason, says A LOT. And it’s the case for soooo many Elriels.

One last thing, I know we are reading fantasy books, but at least don’t make a fantasy of a couple the main talk of this fandom, lol. The couple should actually have “history”, build up & hints/ foreshadowing. CANON SCENES. And only Elriel has them. BYE. 🩷🌸💙🦇

[spopsalt]

https://www.tumblr.com/godmodebeginswithlesbians/732567688496431104/we-need-less-sanitized-queer-stories-youre-the

I cannot believe the amount of notes this post has of people agreeing with it. I have no idea what The Locked Tomb is so I can’t speak on that, but regarding She-Ra, ever since the finale, I’m one of the people who’s been agreeing with the statement that OP is mocking here. To clarify, though, I’m all for less sanitized LGBT stories, but I want them to still be well written, make actual sense narratively, and deliver a positive message for a target demographic of children, all which She-Ra failed at.

I read some of the notes and aside from the typical nonsense I’m used to seeing toxic She-Ra fans spew, there are people who reblogged this defending She-Ra while simultaneously admitting that they DIDN’T EVEN WATCH THE SHOW. Ofc they’re not gonna understand or interpret any of the criticism in good faith if they haven’t even watched the damn show. That’s the brainless mob mentality that’s to be expected on this site.

Anyway, as a writer who majored in animation, seeing posts and notes like this is so disheartening. I don’t have much hope for the entertainment industry (especially animation) or the LGBT community. Both have proven that their standards are lower than dirt and that they all have piss poor media literacy and critical thinking skills that lead them to harassing and hating on anyone who dares criticize the media that they blindly worship. It’s insulting as a writer and sets a bad precedent that professionals can just produce poorly written fan fiction with a budget that validates childish NPCs who eat it up as long as it caters to their sensibilities and is under the guise of progressivism for kids so it can be praised as “groundbreaking.” It makes me wanna steer clear of this industry entirely tbh .

Yeah, my problem isnt that it's not santized, my problem is that not only is it romantized, but targeted towards kids, kids are seeing this and thinking it's ok, again bubbline and lumity are much, much better repsentation in kids shows, I wish that people could just admit that Catradora isnt good now that we do have good rep in kid shows now but I guess there's nothing we can do. Even Star vs The Forces of Evil did it better when it showed that Jackie Lynn Thomas and Star Butterfly were bisexual which is cool. Now both were kinda ambigious but they couldnt do much since it was disney and its still better than romantizing toxic relationships to children.

[shaftking]

https://www.tumblr.com/godmodebeginswithlesbians/732567688496431104/we-need-less-sanitized-queer-stories-youre-the

I can’t believe the amount of notes this post has of people agreeing with it. I have no idea what The Locked Tomb is so I can’t speak on that, but regarding She-Ra, ever since the finale, I’m one of the people who’s been agreeing with the statement that OP is mocking here. To clarify, though, I’m not a puritanical anti at all- in fact, I’m all for less sanitized LGBT stories (yes, LGBT, not q**r), but I want them to still be well written, make actual sense narratively, and deliver a positive message for a target demographic of children, all which She-Ra failed at.

I read some of the notes and aside from the typical nonsense I’m used to seeing toxic She-Ra fans spew, there are people who reblogged this defending She-Ra while simultaneously admitting that they DIDN’T EVEN WATCH THE SHOW. Ofc they’re not gonna understand or interpret any of the criticism in good faith if they haven’t even watched the damn show. That’s the brainless mob mentality that’s to be expected on this site.

Anyway, as a writer who majored in animation, seeing posts and notes like this is so disheartening. I don’t have much hope for the entertainment industry (especially animation) or the LGBT community. Both have proven that their standards are lower than dirt and that they all have piss poor media literacy and critical thinking skills that lead them to harassing and hating on anyone who dares criticize the media that they blindly worship. It’s insulting as a writer and sets a bad precedent that professionals can just produce poorly written fan fiction with a budget that validates childish NPCs who eat it up as long as it caters to their sensibilities and is under the guise of progressivism for kids so it can be praised as “groundbreaking.” It makes me wanna steer clear of this industry entirely tbh.

I’m also familiar with SPOP but not The Locked Tomb, so I can speak on that. And we all know that I really can’t stand SPOP. I personally view it as one of those shows that was fine and even good at times until it self destructed in the last season and especially the finale with just an astonishing lack of self awareness.

The problem with Catradora, especially compared to the other ships in the show for the most part, is that’s it’s dysfunctional and toxic in a show that is targeted to children that otherwise pushes a lot of life lessons subtexually and textually. This also isn’t just a problem of the relationship itself, it extends to their actions towards other characters, such as the fact that there is no real consequence for Catra literally killing Glimmers mother out of complete selfishness. I think the whole show kind of suffers from sudden character amnesia about other characters past crimes. Because it happened with Hordak and Scorpia and Entrapta as well to varying degrees.

And I think the doublethink the show has about being Mature and Complex vs It’s A Children’s Show So You Can’t Criticize It extends to fan attitudes. And let’s be real, the Catradora kiss was not that revolutionary when SU and LOK already had their representation moments years before. In fact it’s weird and dysfunctional asf to have characters who were implied to have grown up as sisters and raised together (the literal reason why Catra was jealous and over dependent on Adora) just kiss and have all of their problems and past just basically vanish so that they can have a few cute shippy moments before the series finale.

All that aside I personally hate being pandered to and baited. I genuinely want to see stories about people who are LGBT and different races and with different belief systems and backgrounds, but just slapping a label onto a character or story doesn’t make it good, you still have to write good characters and story. You still have to work to make things cohesive and you have to understand that as a writer you will always face criticism. Especially when you market your work so hard as the next big thing.

And as an audience member, at the very least as a teen and onwards into adulthood, you should be capable of media literacy to the extent that you can watch a show about a couple toxic codependent weirdos and recognize that they were toxic codependent weirdos even if you mostly just had fun watching them get up to fucked up shenanigans.

[olderthannetfic]

I was going to write in and rip into how much I hate BNFs. But then I realised I don't actually hate BNFs as people. They're just people like me. What I fucking hate is the glorification of BNFs and other fans putting them on a pedestal.

I remember you got an ask a long while back where anon was saying they wished they were a BNF because everything they do seems so much more important than what anyone else does. Their opinions, their headcanons etc are more important and, even worse, just blindly accepted by many other fans. This was probably the thing I couldn't stomach most after the anti mob mentality I found when I came to Tumblr. I find it so gross how people fawn over BNF's and treat them like some sort of experts or oracles, as if they have secret hidden source material knowledge that everyone else does not.

Tbh, I read your blog in browser and logged out because I don't want to log back in to my account and see some BNF bs on my dashboard. I've had enough of actually being on Tumblr.

That recent anon talking about how a BNF threw a tanty because some other BNF updated a fic on the anniversary of their own fic is hilarious. The fact that these people think they are that important, and the fact that other people enable their self-aggrandizement is just sad.

I understand that there are BNFs who became BNFs because they produce genuinely fantastic content, but personally, these are few and far between. Most of the ones I've come across are just gatekeeping their husbando and seem to get off on a powertrip that some unwitting people give them that attention and consider them the only one true expert on the husbando.

I've hyperfixated on the same character for almost half a decade and have spent that time roaming a whole bunch of social media platforms but always avoided Tumblr because I heard it was toxic. Eventually, I gave in and joined here too because curiosity got the better of me. And uuughhh....the BNF thing just put me off so much. The way people put them on a pedestal.

I read through some of these long af meta posts they put out and I thought nope, completely disagree with you on your take on blorbo and just stopped reading those posts and continued to write my own fanfics the way I wanted to and eventually just got off Tumblr for the most part. But this fawning over BNFs just makes me roll my eyes to high heaven.

Apologies to any BNFs reading this. Ya'll cool but some of you need to realise you don't actually know anything the rest of us don't.

--

The term has been used lots of ways over time. Long ago, it was mosttly for infrastructure builders (because concoms and zine eds are highly visible compared to a lot of online infrastructure builders). In the LJ era, it was mostly fic authors because fic itself was what the community focused on most.

I'm sure there are people who'd consider me a BNF by now simply for my tumblr turning into some sort of hub.

The main problem is really the elevation of some rando's opinions to Eternal Truth. The so-called BNFs themselves come in all flavors from entitled babies to people who refuse to admit that they are a BNF.

"You should have known about my fic anniversary" is something I've seen from fans whom nobody has heard of too. Entitled, ridiculous people are all over the place, and they're often enabled by those closest to them. We just tend to hear about them when they've gotten popular.

The mistake is to treat BNF-dom as an objective state that can be diagnosed with some definitive test.

All it really means is "Some people think you're more famous/influential than the fans around you".

[harryspet]

off to the races (2) s.rogers

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, stripper!reader, ddlg, daddy!steve, abduction/kidnapping, mafia boss steve, bondage, a hint of peter x reader, toxic/abusive relationship, hella angst, little editing 

A/N: im mentally shutting down because of school but at least i have mob!steve :)

In which you don’t want to be Daddy’s secret anymore.

word count: 3.5k

main masterlist

taglist: @cherienymphe @peterztinglez @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @lovemassivelybeautifulbouquet @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes​  @disaster-rose​​ @sexyxseabassx​ @marvelmaree​

“Woah, dude, your room is awesome. Awe, you have all the good movies. I haven’t seen The Jungle Book in forever!” 

“Peter, look!” You waved him over to the window, ignoring his astonishment for the paradise Steve had created for you. Peter stood there dumbly for a moment before walking over to the window beside your bed. 

You heard the loud whirring of helicopter spinning blades echoing through the room even with the window closed. It was landing in the field behind the manor and you were questioning why Steve was making such a grand entrance today. You’d been stuck in this house for three weeks now and nothing this exciting had happened yet, “Who’s helicopter is that?” You looked back at Peter who’d crossed his arm nervously. 

“Uhm … probably … maybe-” You scoffed, before looking back at the view. The helicopter was a sleek, black color and, as you narrowed, your eyes could make out some words written in gold. 

“Stuh …. Stark …. Industries. Stark Industries,” You were calm as you took in the info before the realization hit you, “Stark Industries! Is Tony Stark here? Holy …. pancakes.”

Peter smiled, seemingly amused by your excitement, “Pancakes?”

“Steve doesn’t like it when I-” You stopped yourself from explaining, realizing there was a bigger situation at hand, “We have to go check things out. Get a closer look!”

“No way,” Peter shook his head, “I’m here to make sure you stay in this room.”

You rolled your eyes, “So Tony Stark must be here then, right?”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that,” Peter pressed his lips together like he was struggling to hold in all the secrets he knew. 

“How the hell does Steve know Tony Stark? Stark is dirty too? I should’ve known … flipping rich people.”

“Flipping?”

You took a step toward him and despite the fact you were wearing a pair of fairy wings, he still seemed intimidated by you, “What do you want, huh? A raise?”

“Uhm … I don’t think you can do that … can you?”

“Of course I can. Steve is wrapped around my finger.”

Peter cocked an eyebrow, “But he’s Steve Rogers …”

“Look around this room for goodness sake! He does anything I want. If I tell him all about how you’re a great worker, how you’re a good friend to me, he’ll surely be appreciative. Might even give you a promotion and maybe you won't have to play babysitter anymore.”

He considers it just for a moment, “If he does anything you want then why are you locked in this house?”

“Fine, fine, so I don’t have complete control but I have some. I could be helpful to you in the future!” 

“Y/N, if something went wrong he’d probably chop me up into little pieces and send them to my Aunt. Or he’d chop up my aunt and make me watch … depends on the kinda mood he’s in.”

You stared back at him, trying not to let the look on your face falter, “ … I’ll give you my movie collection?” 

“I’m sorry but-”

“It’s my birthday soon?”

“I can’t,” Peter stated, sighing, “I’ve got pressure on me right now, and things have to go right tonight. It’s like a huge deal. I never get to go to stuff and the party is-” He stopped his rambling when he realized he’d said too much. 

“Party?” Peter opened his mouth and closed it again. He turned away from you, eyes wide, and made his way to the door. Of course, you chased after him, placing yourself between him and the door, “What party?”

“Please move,” Peter begged, “I really can’t talk about it.”

“I won’t say anything, I promise!” You were the one begging now, “He doesn’t tell me anything at all. Can you imagine how I’m feeling? I’ll do everything you say, I won’t try anything, I just want to know what's going on …. please?”

“Steve can’t know,” You nodded eagerly and he finally gave in, probably because of your spectacular puppy dog eyes, “Tony Stark is having a party tonight, that’s where Steve’s going, and most of us are going to. A pretty important deal is happening.”

“Why doesn’t Steve want me to go?” You frowned a bit.

“I don’t think he wants anybody to know about you, to keep you safe, that kind of thing.”

“Right,” You nodded, “Even if I go crazy while he does that.”

Peter looked sympathetic, “I’m sorry.”

“I know this thing with me and Steve is not ordinary but is it crazy of me to not want to be a secret? Even after everything …”

You could tell Peter wasn’t expecting a deep question nor did he expect you’d confide in him, “I don’t think so,” Peter was trying to understand, you could see it in his eyes. He rubbed the back of his neck as if he wasn’t sure, “Obviously … you - uhm - care about him. I wouldn’t want to be the secret of someone I care about.”

He was taken aback when you suddenly hugged him. Unsure if he could hug you back, he awkwardly patted your shoulder which made you giggle, “Can I paint your nails?”

“What? No.”

“I have colors that aren’t girly.” “Hmm … can you do cool stuff like the shapes and sparkles?”

“Of course,” You smiled, “Step into my salon.”

+

“I didn’t get my sticker this week,” You bounced back from your toes to your heels, watching Steve as he got ready in his closet. He was fixing his tie in the mirror, making sure it was absolutely perfect, along with the rest of the look. Freshly trimmed beard and an aftershave that smells intoxicating. He smelt like money and looked like it too. That’s probably exactly how you would want to look in front of Tony Stark. 

“You skipped dinner two days in a row, doll.”

You were frowning but it wasn’t like he was focused on you anyways, “But I did better after that,” You whined.

“I know, baby, you can try again next week.”

“Maybe if you were here then I wouldn’t have missed it,” You whispered, playing with your fingernails, “But I’m stuck here and you get to go out and have your fun.”

“Have my fun?” He questioned, buttoning up his jacket. 

“You get home so late … I’m sure you go to your clubs, booze it up and talk to girls.”

He chuckled a bit, “You think I’m flirting with other women?”

“I don’t think, I know,” You leaned against the doorway, “You’re a guy, aren’t you? That’s what you do.”

He finally turned to you, and you felt your breath hitch in your throat. He was as handsome as ever, like a movie star, “Doll, my days are long because I’m traveling from here to the city every day. I want to fall asleep and wake up with you. There isn’t and never will be anyone who I’d rather do that with.” 

As he came closer, you knew he was going to lift you into his arms. Ever since he took you from the club and you sobbed into his shoulders, you’d find solace in his arms. Even if his hands were causing your hurting, they still felt warm and loving, “You don’t mean that,” You whispered, muffled against his shoulder. 

“What can I do to prove it to you?”

“Take me with you,” You said and you felt him stiffen. 

“It’s not safe,” He tried to explain. 

“Are you embarrassed by me?” 

“No, no,” He rushed out, carrying you out of the closet and into the bedroom. “Why would you even ask that?”

“Because of what I do, what I used to do-”

“No, Y/N. I’ve never felt that way,” His tone was more concerned that it ever had been before, “Look at me, please?”

Begrudgingly, you lifted your head. You hated that you were feeling jealous or inadequate, “You took care of yourself all these years and I know you still can,” He continued, “Let me protect you now.”

“I’m not a baby.”

Steve could sense the small bit of pride still left in you and decided not to push you on it anymore, “Could’ve fooled me,” Steve smiled slightly, bouncing you in his arms, “Let me tuck you in, grumpy.”

“The sun just set!” 

“It wasn’t actually a request,” He was already carrying you away. 

“Wait, wait, wait,” You resisted, “Can I sleep in here? I’ll go to sleep right away, I promise.”Steve stopped, thinking it over for a moment, “I like that the … sheets smell like you, Daddy,” You added, knowing that was what he wanted to hear. It wasn’t fully a lie but you had other motives for not wanting to go back to your room. For one, your room locked from the outside and his didn’t. Besides that, you were almost sure that one of your stuffed bears had a camera inside its eye. 

Steve tucked you into his california king-sized bed that night and watched you fall asleep until it was time for him to go. You felt the kiss he pressed to your forehead and, for a brief moment, you thought about changing your plans. 

That feeling didn’t last long. 

+

For such an expensive car, you thought your ride would be a lot smoother and much more comfortable. Turns out, hiding in any trunk, no matter how luxurious, behind big boxes of unknown items, was not a pleasant experience. An hour into the drive, you finally decided that you’d had enough and you needed to get the feeling back into your limbs. Besides that, you needed to check and make sure that your hair and makeup stayed in place. 

When you climbed over the seat from the trunk to the backseat, the car instantly swerved before the driver corrected its path, “Y/N, holy shit!” Peter shouted, obviously frightened out of his mind but you were focused on making sure all the layers of your dress made it safely back into their places, “What the fuck? What the actual fuck?”

“Oh, calm down,” You said, looking at him through the rearview, “Just keep driving.”

“Are you out of your mind? If Steve sees you he’s going flip his shit!” 

“Peter, you okay in there, kid?” You heard Bucky’s staticky voice over Peter’s radio. The younger man picked it up and answered, his eyes still focused on you. 

You placed a finger over your lips and Peter gave you a death stare, “Yeah, I’m fine … I thought I saw a squirrel.”

A caravan of three cars surrounded Steve’s car as they all drove down this dark, winding road that you assumed would lead to Tony Stark’s mansion, “Did you not comprehend a single word I said?” Peter shouted, “Do you want me to get killed?”

“This is my problem,” You said, “Steve will know that you had nothing to do with it, I promise. But tonight is going to go super well so it won’t even matter. Steve is going to see me and realize he’s crazy not to show me off and then we’re going to go to the party and I’m going to charm everyone with my personality which is going to make him a ton of friends and even more money. Everyone wins.”

Peter was shaking his head the entire time as he listened to your rambling,  “Y/N, I understand that you want to be more to Steve and you don’t want to be in the dark but this isn’t the way! This isn’t some charity event or some art gala, these are dangerous people.”

“But Tony Stark-”

“Is as dirty as it gets,” Your heart began to race a bit, “And Steve cannot just let everyone know his biggest weakness, even if they are his allies.”

His biggest weakness. 

Suddenly, your mind was racing with thoughts of moments with Steve. Meeting him, going on your first dates, the hotel meetings, and the passionate kisses that always left you feeling like he felt more about you than he admitted. You never saw yourself as his weakness. 

I want to fall asleep and wake up next to you. 

When you snapped out of your trance, Peter had his walkie-talkie pressed to his chin, “Guys, uhm, we have a stowaway,” You slumped back in your seat, and when the car eventually came to a stop, you wished you were still tucked away in Steve’s bed. You think Peter was calling your name, probably apologizing and telling you how he had to follow orders but, honestly, you had tuned him out, “I-I don’t know …. I thought I checked everything …”

Your dress was adorable too, covered in pastels, while still remaining elegant. You imagined Steve's heart with flutter at the sight of you, instead, he was fuming. He was always so stoic, so full of composure, that the change frightened you. He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you from the backseat, and slamming the door shut. Pressed against the car, you looked into those blue-green eyes that were anything except nice. 

“I didn’t mean to for all this,” Was all you could muster up the courage to say, “I just wanted to come with you-”

He shushed you before you got your words out, “We’ll talk about it later.”

You wished he would just yell at you now. He could bend you over right now and you’d prefer that over his silence and the obvious disappointment in his tone, “Later? But-” He pulled you away from the car and you stumbled in your heels as he pulled you along the dark road. 

He brought you towards the last car in the caravan and Sam stepped out from behind it, closing the trunk, before handing something shiny to Steve, “What are you doing?” You asked shakily, the cold wind of the night blowing your dress. 

“Turn around, face the car,” He ordered you and you feared whatever punishment you were about to receive would be worse if you disobeyed him. Slowly, you turned around and he wasted no time grabbing your wrist. You heard the metal click of handcuffs as they tightened around your wrist. You felt his strong hands on your waist and, as he lifted your dress, you assumed the worst. Your panties slipped down and as Steve lowered himself with them. 

“Steve, please talk to me?”

To your surprise, as you stepped out of your underwear, you felt the click of metal around your ankles. When he stood back up, he grabbed your arm again, pulling you back so you were pressed against his chest, “Daddy will deal with you later,” His breath against your ear sent shivers down your spine, “Don’t worry, doll … open your mouth.”

“If you just let me explain-”

You weren’t sure why you even wanted to. He left your brain scrambled and wondering why you even did the things that you did. 

“I won’t ask you again.”

Your lips parted and you realized he was forcing your panties into your mouth. The next thing that you knew, you were lying in the back seat of that car, your wrist hogtied to your ankles. And you thought sitting in the trunk would be uncomfortable. You were struggling and calling out for him and, as you expected, you were ignored. 

“Get her back as fast as you can. I’ll keep things short with Stark,” Were the last words you heard before the door shut close and all your screaming was muffled. 

+

You weren’t sure at which point you’d fallen asleep. As you laid there tied up, you thought a lot about him since there was nothing else to think about. You weren’t sure how he could love you and be so cruel at the same time.  

That next morning, you awoke to sore limbs and makeup staining your pillow. Even though the car ride back was hell, you knew your punishment wasn’t over. You debated even getting out of bed, knowing what was to come. 

You finally mustered the energy to clean yourself up, washing your face, and brushing your teeth. When you stepped back into your room, you were taken aback by what was sitting in the middle of your room. A giant, life-size brown bear was happily perched before your bed, holding balloons and a Tiffany’s gift bag. 

It was exactly the opposite of what you were expecting today. You approached it cautiously, decided to sit and open up the present. You handled the bag carefully, finding an elegant white card sitting inside. 

For my favorite girl on her birthday.

Love, Daddy. 

You sighed, knowing he probably picked all of this out before you betrayed him and probably ruined any sort of trust he had between you. You hadn’t even realized it was your birthday which was probably due to the fact that you had no phone or any contact with the outside world. There was also a jewelry box inside, a gorgeous, rose-gold tennis bracelet inside. 

As you snapped it around your wrist, covering your bruises, you promised not to ask how much it cost. It would probably make you feel even worse about yesterday. 

You finished getting dressed, deciding to head downstairs for breakfast. You found Steve sitting at a table out by the pool, reading through a newspaper like a grandpa. It seemed like he was expecting you because there were pancakes and eggs waiting on the table, “Morning,” You greeted awkwardly. 

“Good morning, doll. Happy Birthday,” He responded, his eyes still focused on the newspaper. 

“Thanks,” Taking a seat in front of him, you instantly moved to grab the syrup, but the rings on his finger caught your attention. Below, you could see his knuckles were red and purple, bruised like he’d been punching something … or someone. “Your hands …” 

He folded his newspaper, taking a look at them himself. It didn’t seem to faze him as he folded them on his stomach, leaning back in his chair, “Your wrist,” He changed the subject and you wondered if he was amused by the fear in your eyes, “Do you like my gift?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful, I love it … thank you,” Your mind was elsewhere, “What happened to your hands? Is that from last night?”

“Last night is a blur. I was so angry after your little stunt, I had to have a few drinks to even get through the rest of the night.”

“Really?” You tried to hold in your scoff, “You seem very chipper today.”

“Only because I get to see your beautiful face,” He countered, smirking. 

Your eyes narrowed at him, “What did you do?”

“That’s a broad question-”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Him?” Steve raised an eyebrow, “You mean Peter? I thought about it … I’m still thinking about it actually. If he was smarter, yesterday would have never happened but you must’ve been pretty convincing. Poor kid, he probably thought you liked him.”

“None of it was his fault! I-I was just being stupid, I was using him and he was just trying to be a good guy. Steve, please.”

“If I did, you would probably start to actually listen. You’d never try one of those crazy stunts ever again-”

“I will listen! No more stunts, I’ll be an angel from now on,” You stood up from your chair, moving around the table, “I know you’re just trying to protect me. Peter tried to tell me that and I should’ve listened.” You grabbed a hold of his hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“That’s all I want,” He added sincerely and you nodded. 

“I’ll pinky promise,” With your other hand, you held out your pinky. You thought Peter would be your way out but, here you were, begging to stay in order to keep him alive. Your pinkies wrapped around each other and you climbed into his lap. You kissed the sides of his mouth before kissing his lips. 

“Soon, we’ll take a trip together, I know you’re itching to get away.” 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you,” You kissed his lips again, “Your hands … what actually happened?”

“Punching bag,” He easily explained although you were expecting a tale of horror. Holding his hand, you brought his fist to your lips, kissing them gently, “That probably wouldn’t have happened a year ago … I think you make me more gentle.”

“That’s a lot of pressure, don’t you think? Turning a beast into a prince.”

“For some reason, I have faith in you.”

+

“Peter!” You perked up as soon as he entered the living room, not realizing how grateful to see that he was still in one piece. Sam, Bucky, and Steve seemed to exchange confused glances from their places on the couch. 

Peter seemed baffled as well, “Am I in trouble or something?”

“No, we’re about to watch Coco. Wanna join?”

“There’s popcorn,” Sam added, stuffing his face.

“And cookies,” Bucky chimed in. 

Peter smiled, unsure, as he looked to Steve for permission, “Join us, son.”

“Awesome,” Peter clapped, making his way over to the couch, “This one always makes me cry.”

“Y/N, I thought you said this one wasn’t sad,” Bucky eyed you. You shrugged, snuggling yourself further into Steve’s side. You tried to hide a mischievous smile and act like you weren’t hoping to see three grown men tear up from a Disney movie. 

“Okay, press play,” You tapped Steve’s chest and he raised the remote. 

“Wait,” Steve paused, “Are all three of your nails painted?”

+

i’m thinking maybe i’ll make a christmas themed part 3, we shall see :)

[brendonuriegotcancelled]

Zack Cloud Hall Part 2

Panic! at the Disco & Deep Dive

Disclaimer: This post is not to garner sympathy but rather to elicit a kind of understanding. Points being made are to paint a larger picture. I am not a mental health professional and am not diagnosing anyone in these posts, I am only speculating on what I know of mental health from research and my own personal experience. It is worth pointing out that all information in these posts are from Zack himself, Brendon Urie and Zack’s now wife Kala Macdonald.

Before I start the chapter on Panic! I want to go over a few things that are important details.

Zack met his first wife Carol while working at the paintball stores in LA before he even started driving for escorts, I mention this now because Carol will be a big topic during his employment with Panic!

It’s also important to note that due to Zack’s unhealthy relationship with his father growing up, a lot of his emotional maturity and coping mechanisms were toxic for most of his life.

That is until he met his first wife Carol and spent time with her father, Chuck… who became a better example for him.

After his job working security for escorts, Zack was approached by a friend who was a tour manager for the band at the time. Zack was making sometimes over 500$ a night driving for these girls, and would later be asked to stay on full time and train the new drivers. This was due to the fact that all of the women working there felt safer with Zack around than most of the other drivers. At the same time, Panic! was sky rocketing to the top of the charts and the tour manager was having trouble getting them out of venues and hotel rooms without mobs of fans trying to get close to them.

He ended up taking the job as Panic!’s security guard to get out of the danger of his previous job and also was under the impression he would be getting paid 325$ a night (spoiler he wasn’t) he started working for them on June 6, 2006 for 325 dollars a week! He talks about the current tour manager and how his inexperience ended up being a problem for the band (and the crew) because nothing was getting done. Zack explains that he couldn’t sit there any longer and watch things just not get done so he started hand washing and cleaning the bands stage clothes because nobody else was doing it and they were worn every single show night.

Zack talks about his first night with Panic! and how he was essentially just thrown in with little experience and had to take the hits as they came. Their dressing room was a separate building from the venue the first night and he had to walk the band out from the venue doors to the dressing room, which he described as “I think I need to get them from point A) to point B) without people touching them” he recounts putting a rope and having an interaction with a lady that was trying to tell him that he couldn’t tell them what to do and he responded “I’m their bodyguard” which actually caused the mob of people to back up and listen. He says that it took him years to engage in establishing authority without being rude. Which again, he was thrown into the job after working with much harsher social conditions so it was a big transition for him.

While Zack was trying to get used to his new position, he became friends with the band and hung out with them often. At this point fans began to know who he was, and it became a problem in his relationship with Carol (who was only his girlfriend at the time) he states that she would get jealous and accuse him of hooking up with fans during his time in Panic! which he denies throughout the entirety of their relationship. Over time Zack’s duties became more and more personal for the band themselves and his work load stopped being that of just security at venues. Zack was going with the band absolutely everywhere.

He recalls when Carol proposed to him as being sometime after a tour during Pretty. Odd. I believe this was after the Honda Civic Tour. The couple got married in 2010 or 2011 and Zack talks about how over time, the intimacy level decreased in their relationship. However they got along well and lived a pretty good life together in San Diego with their dogs. Zack still being the main security help for Panic! was working constantly, and Carol was consistently frustrated with him travelling all the time.

Throughout line up changes and band members leaving, the one thing that stayed consistent was Brendon and Zack. Over the years there was an unspoken bond between them and Brendon talks about how he knew they would be friends the moment they met.

One morning a few years after Carol and Zack got married, Zack came home from the Gospel Tour and decided to confront Carol about her increasingly strange behavior towards him. He recalls that she began to sob and proceeded to come out to him. This devastated Zack because he had been on and off with Carol for a decade at this point. There was no blame to be placed, there was no reasoning he could grieve without feeling guilty. He explains that he moved out almost immediately but took an apartment close by in case Carol needed support from him. All while he was grieving the loss of his relationship, and the conflicting feelings that came with it. He talks about going on long walks for hours and speaking on the phone with his friend Nicole (who is a therapist) he said those months were the hardest for him emotionally and that it took him a while to come to terms with losing who he thought was a life partner.

When he went back on tour with the band he was still very depressed. He talked about how he would tell the crew every morning “listen, I may be snappy with you guys sometimes for a little while, this is what I’m going through, I’m sorry, it’s never about you”

At the time, the band and crew were sharing a tour bus, and Zack talks about how he would hold his feelings inside all day and when he would go to sleep in his bunk he would cry every single night for weeks. He talks about having a heart to heart with Brendon on a periscope in 2015 stating “I’ve only hugged Brendon twice in my life, and one of them was when both of us were going through a really hard time” this was a reference to when Zack was going through his divorce & Brendon had just found out that his best friend and groomsman at his wedding stole over 150 thousand dollars from him over the period of 4 years. You can find the article here.

Zack stayed friends with his ex wife Carol after he grieved, and still spoke to both ex father and mother in law. Zack is now also friends with Carol’s new wife.

A lot of Zack’s humor & personality got him into trouble within the fandom when the band started picking up more fans and the social climate began to change. To understand this I’m going to talk about his primary and secondary socialization, with the lack of support from his parents, and their inexperience with raising children, Zack got a lot of his socialization from peers. (And let’s be real, a lot of us did)

Definitions:

Primary Socialization: Primary socialization in sociology is the period early in a person's life during which they initially learn and build themselves through experiences and interactions around them. (This is often the period of socialization that sticks with you throughout most of your life)

Secondary Socialization: Secondary socialization refers to the social learning that children undergo when they enter other social institutions, like school. Characteristics of the school, teachers, and the peer group all influence the socialization of children within school settings.

Considering Zack rarely went to school due to him going back and forth from his mothers and fathers he was unable to get a normal peer socialization. The characteristics he learned were from his siblings who also exhibited unhealthy coping mechanisms, and friends who may not have always been the right ones.

Many who grew up in the 90’s or 2000’s didn’t have the privilege of gentle, educated parenting, politically correct socialization and healthy coping mechanisms. Zack spent a majority of his early years in this societal climate. I bring this up because I think that it is worth noting that not everyone in this world was taught to respect each other. And I think that we need to start taking that into account before we judge bad jokes and ignorant comments.

Unfortunately the sex jokes have been going on for ages. & a majority of them are against women. The media portrayal of dirty, racist, and inappropriate jokes were at an all time high in the 90’s and anyone growing up in that era would surely feel that normalization. I would also like to point out that most of things I am informing to you all, are explanations not excuses. But I think we need to take into account that we are in a generation of shoot now ask questions later and that is harmful for our society. There is no room for redemption and I think that needs to end. The reason we are having all these conversations is to educate people. We must allow that growth and change in one another, I feel it’s imperative to keep our society going.

That being said, a lot of the jokes Zack or Brendon have made over the years are not okay. My only point is that a large chunk of them were normalized for years. People were taught that racist jokes were normal, misogynistic jokes were normal, fat shaming was normal. It’s horrible! Absolutely. Without a doubt. But it was shoved in your face so often that it was just NORMAL. and that is what we’re trying to change. That is what the new generation is trying to make better, as they should. But leave room for change, have forgiveness. Accept sincere apologies. Leave room for growth. It will make us better people even when we are wrong.

What Zack has done for Panic! Fans:

Front of the line meet and greets & gifts: Over the years Zack has brought fans back from the front of the line to meet the band, brought them stuff from the band to the line and taken gifts from fans to give to the band.

Northern Downpour Fan Club: Northern Downpour was a yearly payment of 30$ for exclusive news, meet and greets at every single show, entry to sound check, first in line Etc. Zack is the one that organized this.

Meeting fans in LA: Zack started to post where he would be at a certain time and would say the first person to show up would get exclusive old merch, memorabilia etc.

Fan mail: This is a huge one… not only would Zack bring fan mail back to Brendon from the line ups at shows; he also put together a P.O. Box. For fans to send Brendon fan mail. He would get thousands of letters, art, photos a week to this P.O. Box and Zack would sort through every bin before it even got to Brendon.

Here are some tweets:

I know some of you are going to say “wow he did his job? Good for him” well… no … Zack clearly went above and beyond his job description for fans and for Brendon personally.

PFTW TOUR House of Memories Lounge: Ticketmaster is bullshit, we can all agree to this, yeah? They make their front row seating at arenas so expensive you have to sell and arm and a leg to get them. The top tier VIP package was a tour backstage and the House of Memories lounge which was also set up by Zack FOR fans, so they could have an experience worth the ticket price ticketmaster was selling them. The second VIP package was House of Memories lounge and exclusive merch (similar to Northern Downpour) without the meet and greets. He would also tell people (secretly) to keep their vip lanyards and use them for the next show they were at so they could get more out of their experience.

Here are some photos of the House of Memories lounge. All items were taken out of storage and presented in cases

Death of a Bachelor Tour ‘The Death Walk’ Zack facilitated The Death Walk on DOAB North American Tour. The idea was Brendon’s but Zack and other security guard Sam were the two executing the walk while protecting Brendon. The death walk was a part of the show where Brendon would walk from his piano back to the front of the stage through the crowd to interact with fans (all while *you guessed it* singing his hit song Death of a Bachelor) Zack claims he called this the Death walk because of the song title but I think it’s equally because of how absolutely chaotic it was. Here is a video of Brendon talking about fans being extremely inappropriate during the Death Walk by grabbing him, licking him, touching him, kissing his neck Etc.

Seating upgrades: starting for arena tours , every show, Zack would go through to the back of the crowd into the higher up sections and give out floor tickets to random fans. This is pretty self explanatory, there were extra seats at the front. Another thing he absolutely didn’t have to do, but did for fans.

Kinky Boots Stage Door: in 2017 Brendon took on Broadway by starring as Charlie Price in the hit musical Kinky Boots. Before he would come out to stage door to sign for fans (over a hundred every night would be waiting) Zack would give the run down for safety by not pushing the barricade. He would also tell fans to please not scream at Brendon to try to get his attention when he came out as it triggers Brendon’s anxiety. The same speech every single night to ensure safety and it went well for the most part until the end on a particularly bad night of people pushing the barricade and shouting. You can see Brendon’s tweet announcing the end of stage door below.

The Firing of Kenny Harris: in 2018 right after their first leg of PFTW tour, Kenny Harris (the guitarist at the time) was accused of inappropriate behavior with fans online using Snapchat. There is an article you can read here. Fans made Zack aware via Twitter and Instagram.

Edit for clarification: Many fans were messaging and tweeting Zack the day before the announcement of Kenny’s departure. This is an assumption by me that it was dealt with by Zack because he was generally the one who dealt with everything in regards to fans

There are many more examples of Zack going above and beyond his job description for fans but these are the most prominent ones in my eyes. Now let’s talk about what exactly Zack does for Brendon personally.

Brendon:

Maintenance work on his house

Moving

Grocery shopping

Accompanying him to all events and outings including but not limited to (Award shows, Disneyland, Movies, Restaurants)

Accompanying his wife Sarah for outings as well

Walking his dogs while on tour

Helping production when they were behind

Dealing with Stalkers, crazed fans, internet drama & public image. Any time that something would happen online it would never be Brendon’s manager Scott Nagelberg who dealt with it, it would ALWAYS be Zack. People showing up at their house was dealt with by Zack, fans posting inappropriate and creepy things was dealt with by Zack. This isn’t exactly a part of his job description and would normally be put on their manager, social media manager or publicist. However, that never happened.

Dealing with questions that could just be googled.

Dealing with people being angry at him for doing his job.

Doing extra maintenance work for the band members ei: helping now bassist Nicole Row move into another apartment.

All of this is scratching the surface of what this job really meant to Zack himself. He has vocalized many times that he loves his job, loves helping his friends and is a care taker. It’s not a stretch to assume that he’s learnt a lot over the years about not only how to approach certain situations in a gentle manner, but how to deal with high stress and work overload with ease.

Thank you for reading part 2, part 3 will be about the jokes he’s made, and the allegations from 2020.

Don’t forget to share with people and keep them in the know.

Most information about Zack was taken from his wife Kala Macdonalds podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0BmaeEllTuSK8DcWD0LXlk?si=Kn0T1phnRLidohuzAaW-2Q

GO TO PART 2 1/2

GO BACK TO THE MASTERLIST

[denimbex1986]

A Note On The Mistreatment & Bullying Of Sebastian Stan

@infinitecrime: Sebastian has never, ever said that he doesn't make mistakes, that he always gets everything right, that he has 0 ignorance or areas he could improve, or that all criticism of him in the world is simply mindless hate. In fact, quite the opposite. Throughout his entire career he's been uncommonly engaged with his fans, open to criticism, and commited to learning and getting better. He's consistently reminded us that he isn't perfect, he's human, and he makes mistakes.

He's still yet to directly call out the people who are making his life a living hell, but has, in recent interviews, hinted at how the toxic behaviour of the fanbase has been getting to him - particularly the hypersensitivity of fans who willfully dissect his every word to find something to bash him with, and will twist everything he does to be negative. It's ironic that his point has been proven tenfold by people picking apart his words and trying to make even his basic acknowledgement of what you have all being doing to him for the last year problematic. If you heard him taking about bullies and harassment and thought "hey, he's aiming that at me!", then I don't know what to tell you. Why do you see yourself in that description?

He's allowed to be affected by literally years of abuse and harassment. He's allowed to be upset by intense stalking and leaking of his home address (twice!) and phone number. He's allowed to be disturbed by people sending his friends and loved ones vile racist, xenophobic and misogynistic abuse on a daily basis and pretending that's somehow social justice. He's allowed to have a reaction to death threats, rape threats and countless messages telling him to kill himself. He's allowed to want freedom to make his own choices about his personal life without consulting a bunch of random kids. He's allowed to show human emotion and not want his life dissected and controlled by a mob of total strangers. He's allowed to react to near daily attempts to end his career and/or life over often made up or exaggerated bad faith accusations. He's allowed to call the people who have openly admitted their goal is "to bully him off the internet" what they are: bullies. And he is more than allowed to fucking stand up for himself and call out bullies and stalkers. He has a right to defend himself, to call out the abuse, and to be angry or sad about it. And he's been far more polite and indirect about all this than any of you deserve.

He's not "playing the victim". He is the victim. The only person who has had tangible harm done to them is him. Not you. He hasn't done anything to you. He hasn't sent you death threats, told you to kill yourself, or abused or stalked you. You cannot police the way he reacts or criticise him for struggling mentally after you've subjected him to a 3000 on 1, year long, 24/7 beat down. Relentlessly harassing someone and then mocking or criticising them for daring to react to it is such a typical abuse tactic I genuinely can't understand how you don't see what you are and what you're doing to another human being. You're not making the world a better place or achieving anything at all. You're not the good guy. You're no one's saviour.

The post above is HUGELY Important. Not just lately, as a result of the hatred, vitriol and crap Seb has had directed at him in recent days, but more generally. Some people forget that Seb is actually human - he has thoughts and feelings just like everyone else and it utterly appalls me the way some individuals have completely disregarded this fact. He has spent more than a decade in the spotlight - closer to two as a whole - and had to tolerate people giving him shit over various things on and off for years. 

Now, I’m all for people calling him out on inappropriate comments he’s made/things he’s done etc., but it must be noted he HAS apologized for most of these instances. What I don’t - and what no-one should support or condone - is people continuing to criticize him not just for such things he’s apologized for, and constantly dragging them back up, sometimes even years later, just to cast him in a bad light or in an attempt to “cancel” him, but in general; things like criticizing his projects and the way he looks etc. Nor should anyone support or partake in such appalling, disrespectful actions and behaviours such as stalking him or leaking his address and I’m sickened by the fact that some people have in fact done this. 

To think Seb - particularly as someone who has spoken time and time again about suffering with anxiety - wasn’t ever going to be or isn’t affected by any of this is utterly insane. If things like this were to happen to us, there is NO WAY we wouldn’t be affected, negatively, by it, so it is unfair to think or assume that Seb is or would be any different. He has every right to call the people who make his life miserable, particularly the scores of people who seem to take so much pride in tearing him down and criticizing him online bullies because that is exactly what they are. 

People have said he’s been wrong in the past few days to in some way hint at or address the actions of some people/their intrusion/obsession with him and constant barrages of hatred etc. in his recent interviews. NO. HE’S NOT. He’s used and is using the platform he has to get a message across - just as those who spout and direct shit at him do - that he is aware of what people are saying and doing, and that it does affect and is affecting him. The fact he’s done it so politely is testament to his character, and as @infinitecrime says above, such politeness is far more than the bullies and haters deserve. 

The fact of the matter is Seb is and will forever be a far better person than any of those who find pleasure in causing him harm; emotional, mental or otherwise. He is a person who brings pleasure to the lives of millions of people, not only through his work, but through his kind heart and his compassion. He has had and continues to have an ultimately positive impact on this world and for that he should be very proud. The same cannot and should not be said for those who find joy in bringing and causing him pain.

[lord-rosenth0rne]

Long Rant ahead. Scott Cawthon debacle.

I hate the whole black and white outlook on life. This 'for or against' crap is going to destroy everyone and everything. Those who follow a black or white mindset tend to not know what they are talking about considering if they did, they'd know that very rarely, situations are black and white. It's void of critical thinking and common sense. It can be defeated by not jumping on the bandwagon, stepping back, and taking in the situation.

-Sexuality is not black and white.

-Gender is not black and white.

-Mental illnesses are not black and white.

-Religion is not black and white.

-Relationships are not black and white.

-Intentions are not always black and white.

What the hell makes anyone think anything political IS?

Take Scott Cawthon for example. How he is as a person vs. the whole donation thing does not add up unless you realize he did not donate for the reasons the majority of Twitter and some here on Tumblr think. It doesn't take a detective to connect the dots. Were making those donations wrong? Personally, I think donations to any political party are wrong and people do it regardless, but for the sake of the argument, no. Candidates should win with their policies, not for who uses the most money. Policies are another thing that's never black and white either. It would be fun to see how far each candidate could get on a set amount, but I digress.

Note: tl:dr: READ IT before commenting. We'd all be in a better position if people didn't comment on shit they didn't read. "Oh I didn't read BUT-" Get out of here with that. I believe if you do not read someone's stance on a subject, you don't have a leg to stand on in a conversation and just like the sound of your voice.

Scott Cawthon is a straight white male who is Christian and a Republican. Apparently, people have it in their heads that he cannot be a good person because of it. However, he is not a bigot nor does he hate the LGBTQ+ community as he has LGBTQ+ people on his team. He would not openly hire them if he was a bigot. He also has a history of donating to pro-LGBTQ+ charities (I've already seen people try to dismiss this because of the Republican donations and they're also very wrong in doing so. It's the biggest "I STILL WANNA BE SALTY" I've ever seen. Yeah, people have a right to be angry and upset, but they do not have a right to throw out evidence).

Putting that together should tell you what his intent was with those donations. He doesn't agree with the anti-LGBTQ+ crap, but he saw something else that held potential. He votes for economic well-being first and foremost which isn't bad for any of us. Imagine believing if you vote/donate to a candidate that you back everything about them 100%. We'd all be in trouble in that case since you are no different every four years, supporting one thing your favorite candidate believes but ignoring the rest. Oh, they could be for LGBTQ+, anti-segregation, and women's rights, but they could also be for something that could hurt you or your family in other ways and you either ignore it or don't realize it. Most people aren't very well informed on candidates anyway. There's no such thing as a good politician or a perfect one. You'll suffer one way or another for backing a candidate 100%.

Also, for those who say "donating to people who want me dead", stop being dramatic. If someone wants you dead, you would be dead already. They will not wait for laws to be passed for the ability to kill you. Considering murder carries some serious consequences in our society, they would not care for laws in general if they're willing to commit murder. It's like stricter gun control only affecting the law-abiding: If someone wants a gun bad enough, they'll ignore laws to get it. As for any laws, laws can always be appealed with enough pushback from our communities. Protesting wouldn't be used if it did nothing.

And those calling Scott a coward for retiring, if you were smart, you would too with these circumstances. His family has been harassed and threatened with harm by deranged people. He has a pregnant wife who is being directly targeted. For her sake and the rest of his family's sake, he's pulling out of the spotlight in order for all of this to blow over and the disgusting behavior to disappear. To continue to be in the spotlight would encourage those with harmful intent to follow through with it. You would either be stupid or arrogant to stay.

You can sit there and disagree until you're blue in the face. It doesn't negate the facts at hand. People talk about acceptance and being tolerant but the moment something comes up that they don't like, they toss it all away and go feral. No empathy. No understanding. No thinking for themselves. They just jump on the mob mentality bandwagon and bolt with it. Maybe later they'd see the error of their ways but by then it's too late.

I didn't play FNAF but I did enjoy watching people play it. I've watched interactions between Scott and other people and I know he isn't a bad guy, just someone with opinions I do not agree with but I don't agree with a lot of people. "Misguided", a word many people who are defending Scott like to use, isn't the case. He had reasons for his donations whether you like it or not. There are the worst people out there who haven't been called out properly on their shit yet everyone decided that this was enough to dogpile him. It's actually kinda gross, considering Trump is no longer president AND the donation wasn't recent.

I'm honestly surprised no one has questioned the intent of the person who leaked old news, especially since Trump is no longer in office. I do not believe them to be some innocent party who 'happened' across this VERY PUBLIC information. I think it was being held onto for a slow news day and a way to get a lot of clicks for their article. They most likely got what they wanted the first time considering they doubled down for a second article to fuel the fire while also knowing Scott's family was being targeted. I don't support people who start blatant witch hunts either. There was no reason for this to go as far as it did and no excuse for the harassment. You can still be angry and upset with him but you are not allowed to send death threats and harass them.

Congrats, Twitter. I deleted my account after this debacle. Should have deleted it a long time ago with how toxic it's been but I forgot I even had one. Kotaku, you're also put on a "do not visit" list with Chick-Fil-A and Burger King.

If I went into the political and personal background of every creator I liked and boycotted them over it, I would have nothing, and neither would you. There's got to be a time you have to separate the art from the artist or you're going to have nothing.

If you want to be angry and upset with him, you do have a right to be. If you don't want to support his projects, whether he comes out of retirement or not, more power to you. If you want to just leave the fandom, no one's forcing you to stay. But don't approach this with a black and white mindset and think that's how it has to be. That's not true. It will never be true. Few things in life are black and white and you're better off making informed decisions after weighing the situation.

[groovygardenfart]

A Longer Take on Censorship and Policing in the RPC.

I have two family members who have been consumed by QAnon, a discredited and absurd far-right conspiracy group that preys on people who want to be heard, who want to feel superior over others in an intellectual and racial way, and who want to feel like they're in a special privileged group, in which only "that group" knows certain secrets; "the truth", and which only that group "can fix the world". It is an entirely delusional cult, built upon misinformation, small statements that have been blown out of proportion or misinterpreted entirely, and mob mentality, and it was responsible for the horrific insurrection in the US among countless other events. This group consists of people who insist their delusional way is correct, just, and logical, when it is not. If you try to dissuade a QAnon person with valid, rational information, they shut you down and say it's either not real information, fabricated, or that you are referencing scientists and other accredited people who, to a Qanon, is part of the whole conspiracy and not to be trusted. You can't rationalize with them, because they are so absorbed in their new beliefs and they don't want to lose the sense of community, even if it's based on rage and hate, with other QAnons. Any attempt to make them see the light only makes them dig their heels in more, and is used as "evidence" that the world is trying to "silence them" and "cover up" all of the conspiracy events they believe are happening, or going to happen. It has been heartbreaking to watch the two dearest people in my family succumb to this, and I no longer speak with them.

More heartbreaking is how I'm retrospecting on many people's behavior on tumblr, and how shockingly similar these people seem to QAnon and the mentalities shown in this cult. I'm talking about blog police, people in favor of censorship, and people who refuse to acknowledge fictional characters are not a direct reflection of a writer's own personality. Like in Qanon, you have the following: the belief that only their opinion is right, and everyone else who disagrees is either in on some kind of sick fetish, or they're a closeted axe murderer (or worse) who gets their jollies on writing endless CSA fixes. These people also have the need to "fix the world", to "cleanse the world", but in this case, it's the RPC that needs to be fixed and cleansed of bad subject matter. They do this by running people off blogs, and vagueblogging until the cows come home, which allows this rhetoric to spread rapidly (it has already consumed much of the RPC).

There are two main ways it seems to be spreading. First, when roleplayers are exposed to vagueblogs about "sick people writing (subject)!" on a regular basis, they start to believe it too even if they spend a long time fighting the belief, simply due to familiarity bias, which is a genuine cognitive phenomenon. As for the people who are actually writing this dark content, they are made to feel broken, defective, or worse. Also similar to QAnon, you have the "digging in heels" part where, just like how a QAnon takes any rational argument against their delusions and turns it into a belief that the person is trying to silence them, automatically discrediting anything they say, people in the rpc will take anyone writing certain content, or defending the freedom to write certain content, and call them pedophiles or other horrendous terms related to that specific situation, which again, immediately discredits anything they have to say. Because in their eyes, just like how a QAnon will see a normal person as inhuman and not worth listening to (which just gives them more confidence and firepower to attack them), these people see rpers who write dark content as inhuman. This is why, I feel, so many of these rpers receive asks telling them to "kill themselves", "get a life", and "get help", regardless of whether or not they respect the material and subject matter they write. For a QAnon, everyone who isn't a QAnon is part of the problem, part of a conspiracy, subhuman, with no exceptions. It is black and white thinking. It is easier for them to think this way. It also helps them feel closer knit to other Qanons, who also "know the truth". Tumblr users in favor of censorship share those qualities, the black and white thinking, and when questioned, falling back on toxic echo chambers that only reaffirm their beliefs that tumblr needs some kind of cleansing, regardless of whether or not that's the particular word that is being used.

This is only the tip of the iceberg. If you understand how cults like QAnon work at their most fundamental levels, however, as I've tried to elucidate here, you will see so many similarities with endless internet mobs, including the growing rhetoric on tumblr here. And it is beyond horrifying. My parting message is, please don't allow yourself to be taken for a ride by these groups, and especially people on tumblr. They are delusional, and to be taken out of their delusion would mean giving up a sense of belonging and purpose, which nobody wants to give up, so they will not change their ways unless THEY make the conscious effort to. This is not likely to happen. It is a losing battle to argue with them, as I'm coming to terms with only now, and it will only hurt you and stress you out. My advice is to cut all ties, not entertain them, use the block button liberally, surround yourself with kind people who continue to use rationality and good sense, and hopefully the fire will die out, at least in your corner.

Thanks for reading.

[littlebabycrybtch]

tbh... we have absolutely FAILED ppl with ea/ting disor.ders so fucking unimaginably bad, especially the visibly underweight ones. and we are still failing them to this day by avoiding valuable education out of discomfort and demonization. its genuinely appalling sometimes, to see just how Dangerously ignorant ppl are about this shit. bros listen 2 me rn. you are not a doctor, and you are Not going cure an ed with your almost laughably ignorant and malicious ‘reverse psychology’ bit where you call someone an ugly skeleton knocking on deaths door whos body needs to be banned from instagram forever, because you’re just ‘so scared theyre gonna die’ or w/e so you can legit pretend they dont exist, holy fucking Shit dude. that shame-and-shun tactic is so unbelievably dangerous. like, if you knew Anything REAL abt these disorders or frankly any mental health issues and cared enough to apply that then you would understand how thats just... pure cruelty. im sorry to be blunt but yeah this isnt a joke, it needs to be said that you are easily going to KILL SOMEONE with that kind of unfiltered uneducated IGNORANCE. it is inexcusably selfish, harmful, and ableist behavior, we have to stop this already.

imo there’s a Lot to be said about the toxicity spiral thats become the pro recovery movement and how much it rejects and speaks over the people its Supposed to support, becoming more about ‘anti symptoms’ than pro anything, but if you are gonna understand Anything new today at least learn this;;; hating yourself at unhealthy is Never ever going to be the key to loving yourself at healthy. being ashamed of yourself FOR being unhealthy, will NOT make you healthier, it’ll make you worse every time. im not tryna be mean but honestly how the actual FUCK do yalls brains work, it is SO wildly damaging to let yourself perpetuate this type of mindset, and then still claim pro recovery or w/e like recovery doesnt have to start at unhealthy??? like itll just happen overnight??? like that’ll help??? like if ppl catch you displaying symptoms of the disorder you LITERALLY HAVE, you arent allowed to talk abt it in any form without intense open negativity towards it and yourself, so ppl know ur definitely totally against it tho and not enabling urself, bc if you dont talk abt ur shame and embarrassment for it that means you arent recovering and need a mob after you??? thats how you think people are gonna get better????

ffs dont try to viciously shame yourself out of bad habits and treat your disorders like taboo, respect and love yourself wholly, the good and the bad, if you want to form better habits!!! ppl NEED to be encouraged to love themselves at unhealthy if they ever want to improve. you are not going to accidentally make them worse by not constantly shaming all their ‘flaws’, they are not MADE of ‘flaws’. by showing support for the mentally ill, you are not fucking supporting their ‘symptoms’, you are a supporting THE FUCKING PERSON EXPERIENCING THEM. and you DESPERATELY NEED TO DO THAT!! there is MORE TO THEM than their symptoms! there are things to COMPLIMENT them on besides their body! its gotten to this point that like. ppl are actually Afraid of just being nice to ppl with eds. they dont even wanna treat them like Humans outside of their disorder, all they see is a disorder. everyone is just SO afraid of ‘enabling’ them by not being vocally against their symptoms that they avoid them like the plague and dont even try to build them up, which is what they fucking need more than anything dude!! 

ppl think refusing to ever let an underweight person feel pretty or love their body where they are at is what they need and will force them to recover, or they think giving them goals like ‘you’ll be so much happier with a bigger body’ and ‘keep going one day you wont look so sick’ is at all different than their own internal dialogue, when the Truth (that people need to fucking know by now!), is that shame with mental health is incredibly dangerous, eds are diverse but theyre most often rooted in starvation as a form of self harm from an unwavering self hatred and feeling of failure or lack of control, one they already have deeply ingrained and will usually feel at Any Size, which is why so many feel unsatisfied and keep going and going till they die. the answer to this problem isnt gonna be inflicting more fucking self hate or pressure. thats gasoline on a fire. you cannot just try and. UNO REVERSE CARD THE ~RULES~ OF THEIR FUCKING MENTAL DISORDER and expect RECOVERY... oh my god dude, please, id laugh out loud if this wasnt so malicious.

listen, if you wanna help, like actually Care about Helping the way you claim the root of your attitude is, you need to make that person feel like they can love themselves, not try to make them ‘realize’ how ‘bad’ they are and how uncomfortable and scared they make you and how Not Allowed their behavior is, bc 1. body dysmorphia is a delusion,,, denial is a common association with addictive/self destructive behaviors,,,, you are going about it wrong if thats the first thing you try to accomplish, and 2. whether you like it or not ‘bad’ is gonna be your first checkpoint! who would be motivated to get better when all you’re doing is giving them an already failing grade and pushing them back??? 

you’re all just... so paralyzed by ignorant fear every time you interact with someone with an ed bc you are so fucking detached from it as a concept, but you wont LEARN how to BEHAVE AROUND THESE PPL! LIKE! and then you claim you act this way ‘because you care'. ok then why do you feel like you dont have to listen or learn??? why dont you see these tactics as needlessly cruel when its explained??? bc oh you cant ‘’’’’trust’’’’ ppl with eds to tell You how to help Them, right??? they’re probably lying, you know better than them ofc. smhhh, every other mental illness community gets to speak for themselves to the ppl without their experiences and therefore the ability to hurt them, sure, but not the sneaky ed people, they created pr.0/a.na/, (the ONLY existing space for encouraging mentally ill ppl in self destructive behaviors, obviously), so they dont know what they need, they have to be Told by Normal people bc their irrational brains are Just Too Broken. (/s)............ like.............?? it is Sooo fuckin prejudiced and disgusting tbh. we gotta do better than this. 

eds are almost completely left out of communities for mental health these days. its seriously so disappointing. if you ACTUALLY ‘care’, then ok you need to swallow your pride and do better, you need to Listen and not let your personal discomforts (genuine triggers excluded!) with their appearance or behaviors get in the way of how humanized and committed your decent treatment of their disorder is. tbr, sometimes you arent just ‘concerned’ about a person, sometimes how you go about your feelings is rooted in your inner urge to validate your own discomforts with them, which means it might end up more about you than about them, which hurts them. i mean for the love of god, these ppl are not ‘irresponsible’ for existing around others with their ~unhealthy bodies~, they are not a walking trigger and cant be treated like one, they arent contagious, they will not benefit mentally from hearing you say you think they should be physically banned from posting selfies or w/e, that isolation WONT prevent eds from ~~~spreading~~~ and will severely harm the person in question, you are not making a heroic decision to try and bully them away to ‘save’ others from ever being around them or save them from being around an “enabling” (supportive recovery/not shameful) community. you are not ‘fixing’ them by making them hate their underweight bodies. you’re LITERALLY just ignorant and prejudiced and ableist, your ideas are actually Very harmful, you are not a savior, you are making it worse, plain and simple. Please just start doing better already, its kind of a life or death situation here

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 5 for the first time. Random thoughts.

Episode 1: Well...that dinner got dark. From what other fans have told me apparently Glimmer gets a lot of hate for her decisions during the series and I just find that odd. I was more annoyed with her in the early seasons where her actions were more harmless simply because she had no patience and wouldn't listen because of her immaturity. Season 4 and here though? Even her most reckless and risky actions have at least been fueled by the genuine desire to keep people safe during a very hard situation. Even here, yeah, she tells Prime something it's very bad for him to know but he was going to have Adora and everyone else literally murdered before her eyes if she didn't. I can't really be mad at Glimmer for making a bad choice when it flows logically and fueled by the desire to keep the people she cares about from being slaughtered.

I don't think we've ever seen Catra this completely at the mercy of another person before, save maybe for Shadow Weaver when she was a child. She has nothing to offer that Prime doesn't already possess. Nothing he wants that he can't get for himself. Her relationship with everyone these past few seasons have been either "I'm your commander and you have to do what I say" or "You are my commander and here's the reason you have to keep me around". This time she has nothing to protect herself behind and the only reason she's still around is because Prime might think of a use for her later.

I love having Scorpia on the heroes' side.

Episode 2: That ending though.

I think what helps elevate Entrapta for me and keeps her for being annoying or irritating is that the show really sells that she just genuinely has trouble understanding why she should/shouldn't be doing certain things. It's not stupidity or even pure self-absorption, she just struggles with people and social ques while machines and science is a lot more straightforward. Heck, she was probably able to bond so well with Hordak because work together in the lab was them meeting on a common middle ground she could understand and relax in. The way she's trying to overcome the issue to help save Glimmer reminds me a little of Mob from Mob Psycho 100, feeling a little frustrated in not understanding something that she knows she should be.

Episode 3: Anybody else get a Disney's Hercules vibes at the end there?

Catra: "Besides, O Oneness, you can't beat her! She has no weaknesses! She's gonna kick your...!"

Prime, smiling: "I think she does, little sister." [Strokes Catra's hair] "I truly think...she does."

This episode really sold how completely isolated Catra is. With the sole exception of Glimmer, she's in space, no idea where exactly she is, onboard a ship filled with nothing but Prime and hundreds of cultist clones. Throughout the entire series we've seen Catra push everyone away and now that she's in a situation where she is almost well and truly on her own with no power, freedom, or authority, she seeks out the one other person around to find any sense of comfort in. Despite everything, Catra doesn't like being alone.

Little child Catra lashing out because she didn't want Adora to have any friends other than her kind of reminds me of Glimmer and Bow during the Princess Prom episode. I imagine it's the same mentality. Growing up in isolation, even if in different forms, and finding only that one person they feel thay can really lean on, there is that fear that they'll find someone else they like more and start caring about them less, or even outright stop. The difference is Bow set Glimmer straight, assuring her he'll always be her friend no matter what but he's not going to be just solely dedicated to her. Her fear was understandable but she was not respecting him as a friend either. Adora never really had that with Catra, one because she was much younger and less mature than Bow, and Catra was probably all she had too, to an extent. As we saw season 1, she was always trying to look after her, even when Catra needed to take responsibility for herself. Bow is not Glimmer's keeper, while Adora too often was that for Catra, so Bow and Glimmer have a better foundation of mutual respect while Adora and Catra's dynamic has been really screwed up for a long time.

Kind of tying into that, despite all that's happened between them, the minute Adora hears Catra's in distress she starts panicking and tearing up. The last time they saw each other they were very much enemies and Adora was done reaching her hand out to her. I suppose you could make the argument she's really been hoping all this time that Catra would finally do the right thing for once, just probably didn't expect it to be like this.

Prime better not mind wipe Catra like he did Hordak.

Episode 4: See, calling the heroes the rebellion now makes sense since they are rebelling against the established power, which is Prime.

Love that trick with the reflections, where you can sort of see/sort of can't see She-Ra. A nice little tease for what I imagine will be a big reveal later.

I really like that explanation for what Bow's going through. Last season's finale was the last he'd seen Glimmer and was desperately trying to save her, and he's been consistently worried for her since then. Now that she's safe he's starting to let himself process his other emotions towards her, and I totally get it. It's hard to be mad at someone when you're also terrified over what might be happening to them, even if your anger is justified. While I get why Glimmer last season did what she thought she had to, it was still a big risk that Bow warned her about and she didn't listen, putting them all in danger. This situation and Glimmer's words is a very mature way of handle this topic. He's not wrong for being mad and it's not a contradiction to what we've been seeing from him this season. Humans and emotions are complicated.

Episode 5: SHE HAS PAAAAAAAAANTS!!! (I will miss the cape though)

That almost makes up for them cutting Catra hair. Seriously, that mane was beautiful!

But boy, speaking of Hercules, that return of She-Ra definitely felt like Hercules emerging from the pool of souls to save Meg.

With the one clone being disconnected from the hive mind and having a breakdown over it, that does make me wonder if Hordak has been connected to it. Wasn't he deemed a defect because Prime couldn't connect to his mind? I suppose it's possible that flaw was corrected. Clearly Prime can take over minds other than just his clones, like with Catra. But if he could do that I'm wondering why he just didn't when Hordak was first created and he instead cast him out to Etheria.

Was Catra purring at the end? I swear there was a sound that sounded like purring.

Episode 6: Assimilation is easily one of my biggest fears in fiction, be it zombies, Borgs and Cybermen, Get Out, the freaking Sapphire Dragon from Xiaolin Showdown that scared the hell out of me as a kid! Just the concept of having your free will and autonomy completely ripped away from you, potentially with you still being aware but unable to do anything about it, is horrifying! At least with Prime's chips the process is reversible.

Anyway, in lighter plots, I kind of love Wrong Hordak. He's really funny. I feel bad that he's being deliberately misled, but he really shouldn't be following Prime anyway, so...

I do like that Adora is being a little more tough on Catra. She needs kindness, yes, but she also needs honesty and discipline, the kind that has actual love and care behind it, unlike what she got from Shadow Weaver. Adora is genuinely trying to help so Catra needs to stop acting like a brat and LET HER HELP.

Episode 7: Catra was definitely purring.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume people probably ship Scorpia and Perfuma. Not that I have any problem with that. It's like the Midoriya/Todoroki ship; I don't ship it myself but I totally get why others do. It's a relationship based in mutual respect and one of the characters having a significantly positive effect on the life of the other. As long as the shipper themselves is not horrifically toxic, I don't care.

Also, I don't think I've ever been so intimidated by Mermista before than I was with that one shot of her in silhouette, just before the reveal she was chipped.

Episode 8: Okay, I definitely love Wrong Hordak. Just that realization of his. "Horde Prime...lied to us..." There's just something about it that's so full of character. Obviously he's a brainwashed clone but he was truly devoted to Prime and just to find out that he would keep something so big from them, from the hive mind that's supposed to be so open to him and each other, it destroys everything he ever believed in. It's hilarious to watch him prepare to lead his brothers in a revolt against Prime.

I assume magic is Prime's "weakness" in that he himself cannot control it. Obviously he can control magical beings like Spinnerella and have them use magic but magic itself is too free and too powerful for him to contain and fully fight back against. He's all about order and stillness and magic is basically chaos.

Episode 9: I like to believe the mushroom kingdom they saved is a Mario reference.

Something I like in hero stories is "the power of a name" or "the power of a symbol". Something as simple as Superman's S-shield can have so much weight and meaning behind it just because of the person it's tied to. She-Ra isn't just a powerful warrior to the people of Etheria, she's a hero of legend. We saw it touched on even back in season 1 how much Adora returning She-Ra to the world meant to everyone. She-Ra to them is a symbol of hope. If they have her on their side, then they believe they might be able to win and with that ordinary people can find the strength to fight too. It's something I think the Green Lantern put best with how the Blue Rings of hope supercharge the Green Rings of will but lose a lot of their functions when the greens are not around. Hope is useless if you don't have the will to also act, but in turn hope can give people the will to act. The more hope they have that they can win, the more they will fight to win.

That was the nerdiest comparison I've ever made.

Episode 10: I appreciate a good bad dad joke and that's why I can't approve of "punderstand". It's too much of stretch to flow well. "Ruined" was good though.

I'm less surprised that Scorpia's been chipped and more that she's even alive. She was at the bottom of the ocean when the roof broke and she's a scorpion woman. I don't think water is a very friendly element for her. She's even commented on how good the desert was to her.

I wonder her She-Ra mode is not working for her simply because Adora is exhausted; mentally and physically. I don't think she's ever used the form this continuously before, and she's been doing it without the First Ones' sword that she has experience with. Her new sword and its transformations may be made out of her own energy for all we know. And then there's just the emotional toil of having Catra back in her life while it feels like more and more of the world is being turned against her.

Episode 11: Oh, I'm definitely shipping Hordak and Entrapta.

I think Re:Zero has spoiled me on dark magic. While Micah with his dark magic is a threat, in this show and many others dark magic basically just equates to "spooky, evil, bad stuff" magic that isn't that different from most other kinds of magic other than being either harder to control or more geared towards causing harm. In Re:Zero, dark magic was DARK. It felt unnatural, like a perversion of how their world's magic is supposed to be and that it didn't belong in this reality. Micah's dark magic is basically "I'm attacking you with shadows, oOoOoOo so scary!"

Not really surprised Catra left. She just got Adora back and now she's potentially about to let herself die. Perfuma said it best, letting people in and letting herself be vulnerable is hard. Caring about Adora and watching her die would be a huge blow, so Catra would rather curl back up into her shell and block out Adora again than have to risk taking that hit.

Episode 12: I keep saying it but now having them right next to each other, yeah, Mara's She-Ra outfit is better than Adora's. I don't know, there's just something grander about it. Anyway, on topic, I'm a big fan of superheroes and legacy and all that and I really like Mara's words to Adora. All she did and sacrificed was so that others, especially the next She-Ra, wouldn't have to do the same. It doesn't matter how noble and heroic it is, tragedy is tragedy and anyone who knows that kind of pain doesn't want anyone else to have to go through it.

I'm not surprised by the love confession between Glimmer and Bow. I felt it could go either way with them either hooking up or just staying really good friends, but that in itself is a sign of how good and natural their friendship is. I can easily buy how it would evolve into something more between them. The situation they're in probably helps. When Glimmer was taken they both thought they might never see each other again and that fear and worry probably caused them to reevaluate how they feel about the other. They've been clinging to each other since getting back, as every day could be their last. Something like that is naturally going to push two people together.

Episode 13: So...are there any plans for a season 6? Or a comic continuation like Avatar and Korra got? Because this was a good finale...buuuuuuuuut I feel there are definitely some things that needed a bit more exploration.

This is typically why I like stories with epilogue endings, especially those set some number of years in the future. Little glimpses of what everyone's doing now, allowing the audience to fill in for themselves what happened in-between. There's nothing wrong with this episode but it does just kind of...stop. They beat Prime. Everybody's cheering and happy. Adora suggests they bring magic back to the universe. And...that's it. We don't see anything more. No aftermath, no post-war, nothing. We end on the moment of victory, and while it's not a bad moment it leaves the ending feeling a little incomplete.

It kind of feels like the writers either really had to rush to the ending to make the 13 episode deadline or simply didn't want to address whatever happens with Catra and Hordak now. With the bigger threat of Horde Prime it makes sense why everyone puts aside past issues and works together. But now that the crisis is over, naturally everyone would have to address everything the Horde had done to Etheria for years with Hordak and Catra leading it. Don't get me wrong, I believe that Catra loves Adora, I believe Adora loves her, and I believe Catra wants to be a better person. It's not like I'm saying she needs to be locked up or executed. But she did cause a lot of damage and put Adora especially through hell, and just because Shadow Weaver is the one who screwed her up so bad doesn't mean she doesn't have any responsibility for her own actions. So it just would have been nice to get even a little bit of lip service to show that Catra would be trying to right her wrongs from this point forward, instead of just "Prime's gone, everyone's happy, bye!" At least with Entrapta she seemed to genuinely not understand why what she was doing at the time was wrong and Scorpia, like Adora and Huntara, defected from the Horde to do the right thing despite it being even more part of her upbringing than anyone else. I can't even imagine what happens with Hordak now.

Don't get me wrong, this is far from the worst I've ever seen a redemption handled. I haven't read/watched any of Boruto outside of the movie and Gaiden tie-in but I've read all of Naruto and there is no reason that Orochimaru should just be walking around and casually talking with people after all he's done. Kaiba in the Yu-Gi-Oh manga built an entire theme park to try an murder Yugi and his friends and they bring it up like twice after that arc. Kylo Ren turning back to the light was one of the potential paths for his character, so that made sense in TROS, but they essentially did "He died heroically and therefore totally redeemed himself for every terrible thing he's ever done."; basically a cop-out. Catra's alive and can at least potentially still own up to her actions and work to redeem herself. And I love Steven Universe, but kind of like with Catra nearly killing everyone (including herself) via the unstable portal, fans have naturally pointed out that the Diamonds enslaved and committed genocide on multiple planets and really faced no consequences for that other than "Stop it". Catra's not at the gold standard of redemption stories, which for me is probably Zuko and Endeavor, but she's far from the bottom. I think the best way to describe it is that Catra had as good, if not better, reasons for being so bad and screwed up as Zuko did, just as good step-up for turning good as Zuko did, but she didn't have nearly as much payoff afterwards to make it feel like a full journey like Zuko did.

But enough about all that. Love the basically goddess She-Ra Adora became. Given the emphasis on healing powers with She-Ra we've had, I'm guessing that's essentially how she destroyed Prime. She purified Hordak and Prime was basically an infection within him. I like when heroes snatch victory from the jaws of defeat but I also when there's an implication towards the villain that "Wow. I never stood a chance." She-Ra's power just dwarfs his. Full potential realized by Adora and he was just gone.

Also I don't know how I forgot that Prime could jump into the bodies of his clones but his possession of Hordak got me. I genuinely couldn't think of how he'd survive after Hordak shoved him off the edge (set free by the power of love!).

And even if the ending feels a little incomplete, the episode itself still did well with my emotional investment. I was gripped by during Catra's confession and the tension within the heart.

Season 5 and overall series verdict: I'm very glad I saw this series. Even though its ending falls a little short for me, this was still really good. Seasons 3 was probably my favorite overall but this story had a very good flow to it. It steadily built up bigger each season, with Catra and Hordak being really compelling villains driving the whole thing. Not that Prime was bad. He was a genuine threat and his cult of clones is a good creepy concept. He's just not as good as the other two. I'm sure part of what elevates him up is because I'm thinking of the JL director's cut but Hordak really is just better Steppenwolf. Everything that worked about that character, Hordak is that to an 11.

Given how I've talked about her more than any of the others, Catra is probably my favorite character. Just the damage that girl has been through. I always understood why she was doing what she did, even though there was rarely a moment I'd agree with exactly what she was doing. Again, it's one of the reasons it feels like the series just kind of ended. There's a lot to be seen with Catra's character now, a lot that can be done, and it just feels like a shame to really not show any of it. This isn't a fault of SRPOP itself because so many series, especially animated and anime, are guilty of but it always bugs me when a series ends on two characters hooking. Relationships are interesting, I'd argue more so than the build-up to them, but no writer ever wants to actually explore them after the hook-up. I never cared about Korra and Mako being a couple but I still found their relationship as a couple more interesting and character building than any of the will they/won't they build-up to it. And I actually like the idea of Adora and Catra as a couple. It's a big reason why I'm so happy the Harley Quinn animated series got renewed for a third season, as it otherwise would have just ended on a hook-up between two characters who, like Adora and Catra, love each other but have had a complicated dynamic for a while. I believe Adora and Catra love each other, but they've got a lot of stuff to work out and I want to see that! Catra's got abandonment issues and that in turn caused her to be unhealthily possessive over Adora. Just seeing the two of them try to work through that alone would be fascinating.

Like I suspected early on, Scorpia's my favorite supporting character. Entrapta's a decent 2nd. Took a small dip when it seemed like she was joining the Horde over feeling abandoned by the princesses when they thought she was dead but that picked back up once it was made more clear "Oh, okay, you're not being petty or stupid. You genuinely don't understand." It made her a more interesting character, and I love her and Hordak's relationship.

Least favorite characters...probably Sea Hawk and those three former Horde friends of Adora and Catra. I never hated them but I never cared about what was happening when they were on screen. They fill out the world a bit, they drive the plot, they're not wastes of space, they even get some laughs. There are just so many other characters in the series way more interesting than them.

Biggest surprise for me was definitely Glimmer and Bow. I never thought I'd dislike them but the best friends characters in series like this can kind of go one way or another with how relevant or deep they are. Glimmer especially I was surprised how much I was invested. She really grew a lot as a person throughout the series and I thought the dilemma over the Heart of Etheria was a good one.

Honestly there's a lot more I could talk about but I have only so many words and my thoughts are a jumble right now so I'm going to leave it at that. I will say I really appreciate how supportive you all on this Reddit have been. It's something I hate about some other fandoms I'm in where they basically are so toxic that they make no one else actually want to watch/read the thing they're fans of because they can't help but associate it with them.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/o2p6wq/going_in_blind_watching_season_5_for_the_first/

[bigdlittleibignlittleozzo-moved]

@rpwithjayn​ asked: What is Tony’s worst/your least favorite characteristic? Do you have this, or anything else, in common with him?

Let me answer the easy question first and say that I actually have nothing in common with Tony. Of all the characters that I write, Tony is the one that I am least like and have the least in common with. He is unique in that he has none of me in him. Most of the characters that I write have at least a little of me in them whether I mean for them to or not but Tony is all Tony, he is completely 100% himself and not even a little bit me. I’m pretty proud of the fact that I have managed to keep him unique and individual over the 5 years that I have been writing him, despite the fact that he has evolved over those years and grown as a man. It’s hard to keep a character from becoming stagnant when you write them for so long, but Tony has remained as lively as he was when I first started writing him, and that’s one of the things that I love about him.

As for his worst trait, we’re going to go with one that my Tony no longer has, one that he’s grown out of as a person, one that he’s lost after enduring years upon years of therapy and character development. But it is a trait that canon Tony had. In fact, it’s the reason I tell people not to watch NCIS. It’s the reason I hate everything that canon Tony was. 

Canon Tony is a chauvinistic pig. My Tony was a chauvinistic pig too, for a long time. He used it to overcompensate, to hide the fact that he was gay. But canon Tony didn’t have that excuse. He was just a pig. And it went on for far too long. It went beyond his teenage years, where one might possibly argue that he didn’t know better (even though teenage boys do know better and that’s not an excuse), it went beyond his college years where he was surrounded by other frat boys and living in the mob mentality 24/7. It went beyond the first few years of his career as a cop. By the time he turned 30, Tony should have learned to not be a pig, but he hadn’t. He was still a disgusting pervert and a pig. 

He made his coworkers uncomfortable. He made the family members of victims uncomfortable. He made suspects uncomfortable. Tony’s behavior was unacceptable. There were things that he did that he should not have gotten away with at all. But there was also a stigma against reporting anything that Gibbs’ team did to IA, so Tony got away with behavior that was wildly inappropriate, and it made him cocky. It made him think that he could do whatever he wanted, get away with whatever he wanted.

Why did this happen? Because the writers were writing a trope. They wanted Tony to be the ‘Hot Cop’ who got all the women. And apparently the only way to do that was to write a complete pervert, and pig. Is that true? No, it’s not. But tropes sell, so that’s what they wrote. They decided that they were going to make Tony a shallow pig of a man who only cared about one thing (sex) and they weren’t going to bother to give him any character development beyond an over-sexed personality.

So why does Jackie write a Tony who is no longer like that? For one, because it’s disgusting. I couldn’t abide by writing a character who treated women the way Tony did. It was inexcusable and wrong. And in today’s day and age, a man treating women the way Tony did back in 2003 when NCIS started, he would be villainized immediately. As he should be. That kind of behavior isn’t acceptable. From anyone. People deserve to be treated with respect, full stop, and I wasn’t going to write a character who thought otherwise. 

For two, it’s called character growth. NCIS may employ writers who are incapable of providing character growth, but I am not one of those writers. I am someone who understands that people grow. They change. They evolve. They see the mistakes of their past and they learn from them. Not everyone, but some people do. Tony just happens to be one of those people. Tony saw what he had done in his past and he decided that he didn’t want to be that man anymore. He didn’t want to be the man that made his coworkers uncomfortable. He didn’t want to be the man that he had been for years. He wanted to be better, to become a better person. And he did. 

It’s normal for characters to have growth and to realize the mistakes of their past, to move beyond them and regret them. It’s normal for them to have behavior shifts, to stop doing something that they recognize as being toxic. We all do it as human beings. It’s something that makes a character more realistic, that gives them depth. That’s part of why Tony underwent the changes that he underwent. He needed the character development because otherwise he was going to stagnate, just like canon Tony did. He was going to forever be stuck in this trope that NCIS wrote him into, and I couldn’t abide by that. Tony is more than a trope. He’s more than a stereotype. He has depth. He has development. He is real and breathing. And he is mine. The writers of NCIS couldn’t do him justice, so I took him and I made him mine.

[maesterkenobi]

how I run my blog

Tagged by: as usual I’ve stolen it from @mynameisanakin  Tagging: no one, i am too lazy and i follow like 14 people so. just do it if you want to.

SPEED: is not my forte. I try my best, but there are several factors that work against me in this aspect: 1) I’m a chronic procrastinator 2) I’m scatterbrained 3) I have more than one blog 4) I almost never write replies that are less than two paragraphs and I want it to make sense and be good and be enjoyable for my partner, so it takes time. I almost never reply the same day (MAYBE on discord, because there my replies are way shorter and it’s mostly to my best friend), and you’re lucky if I reply within a week. I really try to be faster on this blog because I made a promise to myself (and I was doing okay until the whole virus thing happened and I ran into a bunch of personal problems) AND I am keeping a low profile on this blog so it doesn’t get overwhelming. Long story short, if you are looking for a super active daily replies partner, I am not it for you. If you’re okay with waiting for a while but getting more developed stories and longer replies in turn, then we should talk :)

REPLIES: Are on the longer side on this blog. I don’t really have the patience for one liners because they tend to go nowhere and then feel like bread crumbs of randomness all over my blog. They’re okay sometimes, but more often than not they feel like crack. Writing replies is really exhausting for me sometimes, but I try to force myself because I WANT to do it, I’m just having issues concentrating on one thing at a time so it takes me forever.

STARTERS: I don’t write welcoming starters because 8 out of 10 times they get ignored or are so random that they lead nowhere. If someone writes me a welcoming starter, it depends on the content but usually I’ll try to make it work for me and reply. I don’t often like starter calls because most people write absolutely pointless starters. For example they’ll write a paragraph of explaining what their muse did all day (unrelated to my muse), then walk into some random place they’ve never been to (e.g. a shady bar) and suddenly get surprised by my muse being there, and/or, my personal favorite, say something like “what the hell do you want from me”? Which I struggle with for several reasons. One, if you create a setting but don’t bother explaining why we’re there, you put the entire weight of explaining that (aka creating the actual setting) on ME, but you add an additional complication by making it something that I didn’t come up with, so now I have to introduce a world YOU invented with 0 idea of why you chose that particular location in the first place. Second, you put my muse in a situation that makes no sense for them and again force me to explain that, without even giving me a good reason to. And third, I play very different muses, but most of them are going to lose interest in the conversation immediately if the first thing you say to them is rude af. So, yeah, I actually really struggle with most random starters. Please just plot with me and then I will love you forever for writing me a plotted starter that I know will not create 400 questions in my head that I then have to bother you with, which makes me feel like a nuisance. (Or at least keep the setting neutral? Or try to come up with something that seems reasonable for my muse? I always try to do that and when I am unsure, I message the person who liked my starter calls.) Speaking of which, I rarely post starter calls, because.. well, like I just kind of explained, it’s comes with responsibility and work. And I’m lazy.

INBOX: is open for memes at all times, and questions of any kind. I often don’t get notified, so I sometimes see certain messages months later - when that happens, I usually don’t reply anymore if they’re anon because I’ll assume that person forgot or isn’t even around anymore. Sorry about that! It’s an issue I’ve had on several blogs and I don’t know how to fix it. Anon hate is deleted without comment, unless I feel there’s a point in replying to it publicly, or if it’s entertaining. I don’t roleplay via inbox and therefore any “ic” questions or interactions posted in there will be treated as a one-time meme, if I can reply to them at all. Asks of sexual nature from complete strangers will usually be ignored because Obi-Wan isn’t the muse for that at all. As I’ve stated in my rules I only roleplay with mutuals and therefore won’t roleplay with someone I don’t follow, even if they ignore that rule and start rping with me via inbox. I don’t mean to be dismissive, but I have these rules for a reason and I ask that people read and respect them.

SELECTIVITY: I am selective with whom I follow because I have limited time and energy for this blog (and all my blogs) and therefore find it irresponsible and pointless to accept 600 followers and threads when I know I can’t possibly reply to even 10% of them. Before I follow someone (back) I look at their blogs; in particular at their writing (to see if I like their style and their portrayal), their rules (to see what they like/dislike and if our general understanding of the RPC, roleplay, and in a way social interactions in general go well together), and sometimes their OOC posts to get a feeling of how the other person is. (Obviously I also sometimes don’t follow back when I don’t know the muse or fandom at all.) Blog rules and ooc posts can say A LOT about a person, and there are plenty of people in the RPC (in any fandom) that quickly rose to tumblr fame with shiny graphics and fancy formatting and dozens of well-developed verses and headcanons, but they straight up suck as people outside of writing. My rules state very clearly that I discourage hateful comments, mob mentality and callout culture, and unfortunately many “popular” blogs use exactly these tools to execute their power (which comes from being admired for all the wrong reasons). So, I know many people think being selective means you only pick partners with fancy graphics and poetic writing, but for me it actually means I want decent human beings as partners. I don’t give a shit if you format your posts (as long as you cut them) or if you have a blog with a fancy theme, or just a rules google doc, or if you use icons or not. If I like your writing and you seem like a nice and reasonable person, I’m good to go. If you talk to me about dogs I’m even better to go.

WISHLIST: I always try to have one because I find it very helpful when looking for plot ideas with new partners. I will look at yours if you like a plotting call or something too, but I know not everyone has a wishlist~

HONEST NOTE: I’m not a teenager anymore and I’ve been rping for over 14 years. I work with lots of strangers, I study for a job with lots of strangers. I think about philosophical concepts a lot, about morality and human behavior and I’ve come to the conclusion that kindness, empathy and compassion are some of the core values every single person should focus on to make the world a better place. I have no patience and no interest in engaging in the absolute toxic and harmful hate movement that’s taken over this website (and other social media platforms) in whatsoever way. Occasionally I’ll make a salty comment about it, but only because I’ve had it up to here. I am here to enjoy fandom the way I used to, and the way it used to be meant to be enjoyed - not to completely ignore real issues like world politics, economical and environmental crises, in order to entertain witch hunts on people who happen to enjoy a fictional ship that isn’t 300% approved by puritan statutes of the 1600s. I am responsible for the content I seek out online, and so are you. Does it suck when I see something I dislike? Sure. Is it the fault of the person who posted it? No. Especially not when I read their rules first, like I’m supposed to, and they clearly state that the thing I dislike will appear on their blog. And even if they didn’t, it was my choice to go on their blog and look at their content. If you can’t handle taking responsibility for the content you seek out online, then you are probably not old enough to use the internet unsupervised. I am free to write, read, and post on my personal blog whatever I want, as long as I am not breaking the law. Liking a fictional ship that involves an age gap? Not illegal. Liking a fictional ship that involves siblings? Not illegal. Liking a fictional ship in which one party was abusive to the other at some point? Not illegal. Liking a fictional character who killed your fave? Not illegal. It’s fictional. Get over it. And if you really think that seeing fictional characters or ships online that YOU consider “problematic” is hurting people in real life, then you should join those politicians who burn books that are “corrupting the people’s morals and minds”, who ban video games because they “make gamers violent”, and censor songs from the radio because they “present biased views on people of public importance”. Please reflect on your behavior. Destroying someone’s life because they liked something you don’t, telling them to commit suic/ide, ruining their chance of making friends who maybe share their love for a ship or character.. that’s bullying. Some of the cases I’ve seen on here were so severe, they qualify as serious cyberbullying and should be reported to the police. I don’t give a fuck if you hate Rey/lo or Damon Salva/tore, or the Joker. You don’t go and send someone messages telling them to kill themselves because they RP it. Because that is the real crime. And finally, if you feel the need to “educate” someone you consider “problematic” for whatever reason and you actually approach them - make sure you’re actually there to educate and discuss, not to throw an opinion at them and get aggressive when they don’t immediately magically agree. Because chances are they won’t. If you choose to open a dialogue, make sure it IS a fucking dialogue and not a condescending monologue. Learn how to shape an argument, find evidence to back up your claims - because not only will you become better at talking to people in any kind of situation, you’ll also maybe realize that your opinion wasn’t as well-founded as you thought.