#i wanted a ds SO FUCKING BAD AS A KID BUT COULD NEVER AFFORD ONE

[loslotharios]

I bought a charger for a nintendo ds my sister never gave back to her ex yeaaaaaars ago and I am having the time of my life rn

[mizunetzu]

PART 3 OF ITS YOUR FAULT PLS !!!! I LOVE IT EKDBJSHD

Well since y’all asked so nicely-

——————

Kuroo x reader - it’s your fault (pt. 3) (final)

⚠️warnings - angst

Pronouns - male, he/him

part 1 can be found here!

part 2 can be found here!

——————

Sports sucks. That’s what Kuroo knew about (y/n), yet he still egged him on to play volleyball with him. He had a choice to say no, which was what younger him was hoping for, yet he still did it in hope of gaining his affection.

All his life he thought he was annoying. All his life he’d been in the mindset of how annoying he was, and how blissful it would’ve been for him to just disappear off the face of the earth.

So when (y/n) suddenly stopped showing up to practice, Kuroo didn’t expect himself to get worried.

He was starting to miss all the clingy touches, or the ‘good morning, Kuroo-kun!’ every single morning practice. He didn’t realize how quiet the walk was to his classes, or to and from home, when (y/n) wasn’t there to fill the noise on random things he found cool or how his day was. He didn’t know how expensive the drink (y/n) religiously bought him from the vending machine was, even though he bought him the drink with a smile plastered on his face like it was nothing.

“Oh, (y/n)? He quit the team.”

Kuroo dropped the volleyball he was holding. He’d gone up to coach nekomata to ask where (y/n) was, and why he wasn’t showing up to practice. But he was regretting asking in the first place. Nekomata gave him a sympathetic look.

Kuroo picked up his volleyball, gave him the best smile he could afford, and walked away. Why was he so devastated? Why did his heart feel like it sunk into his stomach? Why was his chest hurting like that? He should’ve been glad that (y/n) was finally gone.

So why does his heart hurt so much?

————

Kuroo figured he’d stop by his apartment to see what was going on. It’s been weeks, yet he couldn’t find him anywhere in his classrooms, and he nor Kenma could reach him on his phone.

When he walked up the stairs, looking for the ever familiar door to his apartment, he was nervous. For once in his life when going to talk to the boy, he was nervous. It wasn��t a good feeling, he never felt nervous to talk to him before.

When he noticed the door slightly ajar, he clutched the apology basket of sweets in his hand tighter. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to apologize for, though. Maybe for yelling at him, or maybe for something else.

“...hello? (Y-y/n)?” When he opened the door, he was met face to face with construction workers, and a blank apartment. Kuroos heart stopped beating. A man, who Kuroo believes was the apartment owner, looked at Kuroo, to his schools jacket, and down to his basket saying “I’m sorry (y/n) :(“

“Oh? Are you here for that (h/c)-haired kid?” Kuroo nodded vigorously.

“Sorry bud. He moved out a few days ago.” Kuroo couldn’t hide the devastated frown from tugging at his lips. He mumbled a small “sorry” and spedwalked out of the building.

He spammed (y/n’s) phone, probably texting more than he ever did his whole life combined, with “where are you’s” and “hey look I’m sorry, okay? Please answer me’s”

None of them were even read.

Kenma didn’t react well to knowing one of his best friends moved away so suddenly. Unlike Kuroo, (y/n) was good friends with him, practically attached to the hip. When Kuroo told him he couldn’t find (y/n) at his apartment, Kenma clutched his ds harder and glared at the screen like it was it’s fault for making him disappear.

But as much as Kenma blamed the ds, they both knew it was Kuroos fault.

———

Kuroo strived to be a better person. He came to terms with his feelings for (y/n), and how he could never repeat his mistake again.

He grew to love (y/n), and he messed it up so bad.

He’d be sure to never lead anyone on again, minus when he’d lead his team to victory as their new captain. He’d try and hold less grudges, tell someone when he doesn’t like them, as to let them down easy instead of blowing up in their face, and even bought his team snacks and filled up their water bottles during practice.

Kuroo walked around the unknown streets of miyagi, scanning his eyes for a mop of bleached hair. He knew Kenma got distracted on his phone, but this was excessive, even for him.

Eventually, his eyes landed on two bright figures. Kenmas usual bright blond hair, and a tuft of orange next to him.

“Kenma!”

Kenmas head whipped up, and he shut off his phone, but then a flash of (h/c) came into his peripherals. He looked a little further down and locked eyes with someone who made his throat close up.

(Y/n).

He looked older. Not in the way that he looks physically older, but he carried himself with a somewhat mature, grown stance that made Kuroo so a double take. His hair was slightly longer and he was wearing a black team jacket instead of the red Nekoma jacket he used to wear. Shocked (e/c) colored eyes morphed into an expression of pure resentment, making Kuroos shocked happiness short lived. Kenma walked up next to him, about to ask what happened when Kuroo turned his head away, walking with his head down.

Kenma waved bye to Hinata, when his eyes landed on (y/n). He was talking to a silver headed guy, with a distasteful frown directed at Kuroo. He didn’t say anything though, just ducked his head and walked beside his captain.

———

(Y/n) kept his eyes fixed on the ground, as Nekoma and Karasuno stood in a line, facing eachother. Kenma was practically standing in front of him, shocked to the core, but also averting his gaze. Not just because (y/n), but Hinata next to the boy was staring at him with his mouth agape.

Eventually everyone filed into the gym, Hinata stopping Kenma to talk, while taketora eyed him menacingly. (Y/n) side-eyed the little interaction with an unwanted jealousy. He wanted to talk to Kenma, he WAS his childhood and best friend. But it soon dissipated when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

That jealousy turned into hatred.

“Can we talk, (y/n)?”

(Y/n) slapped Kuroos hand away and stepped past him, pushing him back slightly with his shoulder.

“Don’t call me that. You have no right. It’s

(L/n).”

Kuroo watched as (y/n) stepped into the gym, his lips pressed into a fine line.

—————

(Y/n) sat on a bench in the corner with an obviously closed off aura, watching as people set up the net or the players from both schools talked to eachother. He walked as Kuroo shook hands with Daichi, not noticing the mop of bleached hair sit himself next to him. (Y/n) flinched when he felt something brush his shoulder.

He whipped his head around to find Kenma, sitting right next to him, but looking straight in front of him. He said nothing, and fiddled with his fingers. Guess he didn’t change, even after a new school year.

(Y/n) relaxed a bit and went back to stalking his team and old teammates with a somewhat less intimidating aura. They sat in heavy silence for what seemed like forever, until (y/n) coughed into his Karasuno jacket.

“S-so how you been Ke-“

“So you’re just not gonna tell me why you left?”

Kenma was looking straight at (y/n), with his normal, neutral gaze. It looked like his normal face, but (y/n) knew how hurt he was. He understood, though. He would be hurt too if his best friend moved without saying goodbye.

“I’m...I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

More silence consumed them. Sounds of sneakers squeaking and the rustle of the net being hung up seemed to vanish under the cloud of quiet sheltering them. Kenma stood up.

“I’m not mad. But I know why you left. And I’m not saying it’s a stupid reason, but you should talk to him.”

Kenma walked away without another word, leaving (y/n) to trail his eyes over to his old teammate, now captain. The frown that summoned up on his face came naturally, despite taking Kenmas words to heart.

He also stood up, brushing himself off and turning his cheery attitude back on. Why play a game with a frown when you’re about to destroy your old team?

—————

(Y/n) wasn’t mad he lost. He was actually quite satisfied with ticking off some of his old teammates by receiving spikes or feints no one saw coming. He sort of felt like an inside man. A spy even. It wasn’t enough to secure a win, but (y/n) never really cared for that.

Everyone was bidding their new friends goodbye, or just idly standing by. He promised Kenma to unblock his number, but only if they never talked about Kuroo again. (Y/n) knew he was being petty, but if it meant never talking to that piece of shit again, so be it-

“Stop ignoring me.”

Speak of the fucking devil. (Y/n) didn’t turn around, choosing to clutch the edge of his black jacket instead.

“Then stop trying to fix a friendship that never existed, Kuroo.”

“Oi!” Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) shoulder harshly, pulling him back and making him stumble a little. (Y/n) pried and clawed at Kuroos iron hard grip. As much as he hated to admit it, he missed Kuroos touch, a lot.

“Can we please have a civilized fucking conversation? I’m fuckin begging you here!”

“Stop fucking cursing and let go of me you fuckass scheming bitch!”

(Y/n) swung at Kuroos head, but avertedly missed. He wasn’t sure if he missed on purpose, or if Kuroo ducked. Kuroo grabbed onto (y/n’s) waist, earning a choked squeak, and hauled him over his shoulder. Kuroo looked for a secluded area, ignoring the fists digging repeatedly into his back and the confused stares he got passing by his team and (y/n’s) teammates.

Kuroo practically threw (y/n) off his back, him stumbling down and hitting the back of a wall a bit harshly, and trapped him between his body and the wall. Both of his hands were on either side of (y/n’s) head, and his legs were long enough to trap him in if he tried to escape.

(Y/n) shrunk back into the wall ever so slightly, but kept the scowl present on his face. Kuroo pursed his lips and sighed.

“(Y/n)-“

“Let me go. I don’t wanna tal-“

“GODDAMNIT (Y/N) IM BUSTING MY BALLS HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IM SORRY!” Kuroo slammed his hands against the wall again, earning a surprised flinch from the smaller boy. “FUCKING LISTEN TO ME! PLEASE!”

Kuroos eyes softened a bit when he finally met eyes with (y/n’s) petrified form, cowering against the wall with his arms tucked in shakily. (Y/n) was quick to push past Kuroo though, diving past him and turning around, free from the wall.

“You see-this is what I fucking hate about you! You act so slick and perfect to the point where you lead people on to think they mean something important to you! I wanted to be a writer, Kuroo! I gave that up to spend my time bouncing a fucking volleyball around with you, and what did I get?! Nothing! I only did it for your stupid friendship, yet I didn’t even get that!”

(Y/n) practically had steam rolling out up his ears, and his words dripped with pure hatred with each retort. Kuroo opened his mouth to speak, but (y/n) beat him to it.

“So if you really want to apologize, give me back the blood sweat and tears I wasted on this stupid volleyball shit!”

(Y/n) punched at Kuroos chest with trembling hands. He kept punching and hitting Kuroo until Kuroo gently grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a hug. Kuroo felt him balling his fists into his back, trying to push him away, but he knew he was stronger. (Y/n’s) mouth was muffled by the cloth of Kuroos shirt, yet he still kicked and screamed at the top of his lungs.

“LET ME GO! I WANT MY CHILDHOOD BACK! I WANT ALL THE YEARS I COULD’VE BEEN WRITING OR LITERALLY BE DOING SOMETHING I ACTUALLY FUCKING LIKE BACK! ITS YOUR FAULT! ITS YOUR FAULT THAT MY ARMS HURT EVERYDAY! ITS YOUR FAULT I GAVE UP ON WRITING! ITS YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU! I HATE VOLLEYBALL! I FUCKING HATE YOU! I hate you! I-I hate...I....”

Yelling turned into incoherent sobs as (y/n’s) punches died out into love taps. Kuroo said nothing, rubbing circles onto (y/n’s) back, who finally gave up and weakly wrapped his arms around Kuroos waist. He stained Kuroo with his salty tears, choking out half assed “let me go”s in between hics and sobs like a broken record.

They stood like that in comfortable silence, Kuroo combing fingers through (y/n’s) hair while the smaller boys sobs turned into occasional sniffles. Kuroo rocked gently from side to side, attempting to calm him down until he was ready to talk.

“I just wanted to be your friend, stupid Kuroo...” his words were barely understandable through the cracks and sniffles of his voice-also being muffled by Kuroos chest-but the taller boy heard every word as clear as day. He rested his chin on top of (y/n’s) head, looking off to the side.

“Sorry. If it means anything, I was stupid enough to hold a childhood grudge against you. You did nothing wrong. I just...i was dumb and disliked you because I thought you were lazy and annoying even though you were anything but that and...yeah. Sorry.”

Kuroo pulled away from the hug, the cold air hitting (y/n) like a truck. He silently whined at the loss of contact, wiping away stray tears with his team jacket. Kuroo awkwardly held his hands behind his back, his tongue suddenly feeling too big to fit comfortably in his mouth.

“...I’m sorry too.”

(Y/n) averted his gaze, his eyes half lidded and puffy from crying. Kuroo looked at (y/n) with a blank expression.

“Why?”

“For um...being annoying or something. And like...bitching a lot. I’m sorr-.”

Kuroo grabbed hold of (y/n’s) shoulders and shook him violently. “Don’t apologize! You don’t have anything to be sorry for! It’s my fault! Let me take the blame!”

“God shut up you’re gonna make me cry again.”

“...sorry.”

Kuroo looked like a kicked puppy, which made (y/n) burst into a fit of laughter. Kuroos ears perked up as he was graced with the sight of (y/n) wiping happy tears off his face and clutching his stomach. It was a beautiful sight, so beautiful that it made Kuroos chest tighten.

Chuckles died out into snickers as (y/n) huffed and leaned against the wall.

“So-what are we? Friends?”

Kuroo hesitantly nodded, watching (y/n’s) face intently for any sign of protest. When (y/n) broke out into a smile, Kuroo felt like he was on cloud nine. Like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders after so long. He felt like he was flying.

“We should probably head back. I gotta go back to my schoo-“

“Yeah. Yeah that’s probably..smart...”

It was kind of bittersweet knowing you had to say goodbye to someone you just got your hands back on, but after (y/n) unblocked his number right infront of him before enveloping him in a hug, he supposed it was alright.

“Bye~! call me~” (y/n) mouthed out, stepping onto the bus. People started asking him if he was crying, or what that meltdown was about, but he just shrugged and put some earbuds in with a reserved smile.

Sports sucks. That’s the mindset (y/n) has, and probably will have forever.

But not when I’m with you.

——————

Epilogue:

“(Y/n)!” Kuroo ran up behind the boy and picked him up, twirling him around before setting him down. Tsukishima visibly gagged while Yamaguchi snickered behind him, stepping off the bus and preparing for the training camp.

“Yo! What’s up! God I missed you and your stupid hair.”

“I missed you too~”

...

“So...are we-“

“Yeah, that’s what we said on video chat right? I mean-if you meant it and all.”

“I DID!” Kuroo picked his new boyfriend up, this time placing a chaste kiss on the bridge of his nose.

“And god I love you so much.”

——————

And that’s it!! I hope you enjoyed this series!! Also thank you for 100 followers!! I’m so thankful!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #463

“the siren sings a lonely song of all the wants & hungers  /  the lust of love, a brute desire”

Describe the person that you would like to be in three years. I want my mental health to be in great condition, I really want to be in much better physical shape, ideally be living with somebody in our own place, have a job I'm happy with, have an improved social life, my own license and car... Think back to when you first met your significant other (or ex). Was your first impression of them accurate? It's funny, I honestly don't remember what my first impression of Girt was. I don't even recall our first interaction. I'm sure it was most likely that he was friendly, because he is and always has been. What is your most noticeable personality trait? Probably that I'm really, really shy. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Which of your family members do you resemble the most? I guess one of my immediate sisters? People tend to say stuff like they can definitely tell we're related. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Who knows you better than anyone else? Hell, probably whoever reads these. When was the last time you started a “new chapter” of your life? I guess you could call dating Girt a "new chapter." I have a much, much stronger feeling of this attempt being more successful than the last now that I've been able to change my angle on how I see him. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? I don't have my own vehicle and never have. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you choose? *shrug* Most products of highly expensive brands I find hideous anyway. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? Yeah. One is a close family friend and actually our landlord. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now? We haven't had a landline is yeeeeaaarrrrsssss. Ever go to another school’s prom? No; my boyfriend went to the same school as me. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do there? No; we live in the city now. :/ When I DID live in the woods, I absolutely loved wandering around with my camera for stuff to take pics of. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs? None ever have but omg I wish that would be adorable. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? I was one of them emo kids. Would you ever date your best friend of the opposite sex? WELP that's what I'm doing lol. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd call it normal? Higher sometimes, lower other times, but not to either extreme. Come with an unpopular opinion. Silent Hill: Homecoming is a great game and while there's a lot of fan service from the movie, it belongs in the series. It's actually my second (or third)-favorite installment. Most of the SH community absolutely hate that game. What’s the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? A lot of shit Colleen would say if we got into arguments. She'd ridicule effects of my depression, said I'd never know what it's like to pay my own bills, stuff like that. She's hateful as fuck and everything cut deep. What’s fake about you? Like extensions, fake nails, botox etc. Nothing physical. If you got the chance, would you audition for a reality show? No. Have you ever gotten into a Facebook fight? More than once. What’s the cheesiest thing you’ve ever experienced irl? Hm, I'm unsure. Favorite flavor of jelly bean? Probably watermelon. Do you use Tinder? If yes, have you ever met up with someone you matched? No. You do you, but if I understand Tinder correctly, it just seems... really shallow to me. Like don't you JUST see their picture to decide if you're interested or not? It just enforces the false belief that appearance really matters in love. You just poured your heart out to your crush and all he/she does is respond “k”. What do you respond/do? Well, I don't have a crush anymore; my boyfriend and I literally exchanged "I love you"s last night. That's not a crush. But for the sake of the question, I'll imagine I was single and this happened, in which case I would be both hurt and annoyed. Like, either tell me you return the feelings or not. It's not hard. What's your favorite thing to order from McDonald’s? I usually get a quarter pounder w/ cheese or a McDouble, occasionally with a small or medium fry, depending on how hungry I am. When do you feel your sexiest? Never, hunny. What's your favorite emoji? I don't really have one? It just depends on what the situation calls for. What’s your skincare routine? I don't really have one... I just use a washcloth to clean my face. Who all out of your immediate family smokes? My dad and stepmom. Do you like incense or candles better? Incense, totally. Do you respect your parents? Yeah. What’s your bf/gf’s name? It's technically Donald Jr., but since high school, I've known him as Girt, a nickname I won't explain for his privacy. Do you wear glasses? Yeah. Do you like The Beatles? I honestly don't. Except "Hey, Jude." What was the last reason you got excited? Last night. When we were saying goodbye, I was scared to, but I told Girt I loved him, and he immediately said it back confidently. My heart did like five flips. I'm still over the moon about it. Yes, we just got back together, but we've been in each other's lives as a constant since HS, and after changing my angle of how I looked at him, it's not at all platonic anymore. Do you know anyone who drinks the pickle juice from the jar? Sara does alskdjfklwejrl;er Name something crazy that’s happened recently? Uhhhh... I dunno. My life is very uneventful to have something really "crazy" happen. Can you say for a fact that you’re happy right now? I'm happy about some things, but also nervous and self-doubtful. Have you ever zip lined? No, but they look fun. I'd just be really scared of losing my grip. If you broke your computer, would you be able to fix it on your own? Ha, no. Have you ever been on a boat and got sick? No, but the one time I was at the beach and on a boat riding to an island, I was TERRIFIED I was going to get sick because of the waves. I didn't, thankfully. Did you sleep well last night? For the most part. My new mask might just be working. Do your parents try and plan your life for you? Not at all. Do you have any pictures of you kissing someone? Yes. List two things about yourself that you find embarrassing. My weight and how dark my leg hair is. Do you like to cuddle with your pet when you are sad? Yes. Do you find piercing attractive or unattractive? h o t Do you have any secret hiding spots in your room? To put money, yes. Do you like parmesan cheese on your spaghetti? Ew, no. I don't like parmesan. Does your best girl friend have any talents that you don’t? Yeah. She can animate well, for one. And sing like a fucking champ. Do you have any video game systems in your room? Which one(s)? My Nintendo DS Lite is in here. Well, and my laptop is a gaming one. What color eyes does the last person you kissed have? ... Oh WOW I've known this man for a fuckin decade and somehow I'm not sure??? But I want to say light blue? Have you ever taken a ride in a helicopter? No. Have you ever visited hot springs? No. How slowly or quickly would you say you eat? I'm aware I eat too fast, because my mom will point it out almost without fail if we eat in sight of each other. I'm not a messy eater at all, just... fast. Chewing your food and swallowing isn't a complex task. I've made active efforts to slow down, I just haven't been able to succeed. It doesn't feel normal. That and I've come to discover that when I chew food TOO much, I don't like the mushy texture of it in my mouth. What did you do the last time you were with friends? Yesterday Girt and I planned to watch shitty Netflix anime for some laughs, but we wound up starting Attack on Titan, which I am officially pretty into. What kind of cologne/perfume do you like the opposite sex to wear? I don't care if they wear any or not, so long as they know how to clean themselves and therefore not actually smell bad. If you celebrate Christmas, do you get a real tree or an artificial tree? We always use a fake one. Is there someone who means a lot to you but they don’t know that? My sisters probably don't, really... Is money important to you? Live your whole life poor and I want to see you answer "no" to this. Have you ever watched a meteor shower? No. Do you like Slim Jims? LOOOOOOOVE them. Would you rather write a mystery or love story? Love story. Are you muscular? No. Working for it. Do you have one of those removable hand-held shower heads? Yes. Originally, this house didn't, but I hated it so much that Mom bought one. How many burners does your stove have? Four. Has your car ever been broken into? Mom's hasn't.

[lightandwinged]

Haven’t posted the bobbins in a hot minute!

The twins turn three tomorrow! I legitimately cannot believe that I’ve been doing the fulltime mom thing to twins for three whole ass years. And I have to brag a little bit about their birthday stuff because last year, Covid suddenly happening two days before their birthday derailed everything--we’d been planning to go to the aquarium in Boston and take them to a special ice cream place and just have a great time, but then plague. 

And they had a good time, but I felt bad. 

So maybe this year I went overboard JUST a bit, both (a) because we could afford it (Kyle’s new job is pretty sweet like that), and (b) because I wanted this year to make up for last year being meh. I know they’re too young to really remember but on the off chance that they do, I don’t want them to remember two miserable Covid birthdays. One is enough.

I made cupcakes, because they are tiny, and cupcakes are easier to individually theme than bigger cakes. Carrie loves unicorns, Isaac loves Mickey and Minnie, it was a fun thing to do. 

But kiddos overall. 

Sam is inching closer to SEVEN YEARS OLD WHAT, is on his third lost tooth (my favorite tooth when kids lose it because it’s the one that really makes him look like a little jack o lantern), and speaks mostly in Pokemon these days. I understand none of it, but he is OBSESSED and keeps coming up with creative ways to bring them into his day-to-day life (he’s beaten Sword about three times and is currently working his way through whatever the previous title was on the DS; his favorite vacillates day to day, but he tends to go for fire types). I’m still homeschooling him until the end of the year because everyone keeps changing their mind about when people are going back and doing what. And he’s kicking ass. Currently whizzing through very basic geometry (e.g., finding simple perimeter and area) as part of his third grade math curriculum and working on recognizing patterns in science. 

We also suspect that he’s either autistic or has ADHD (per his in-home therapists as well), but wait times for official testing are L O N G. We’re having him evaluated through the school, though, so that if he doesn’t get a diagnosis before he heads back in the fall (because I love him, but I do not love teaching him), he’ll at least have an IEP already in place and be able to get any assistance he needs. And that will most likely take the form of someone breaking tasks into smaller steps, maybe giving him fidget opportunities while he’s learning (he absorbs a LOT when he’s playing with Legos), maybe taking tests separately so that he can have someone read the questions aloud to him so that he absorbs them (because he can read, but unless he also HEARS things, he absorbs nothing). 

He’s a terrifyingly smart kid still, and I have no doubt that he’ll be on par with his fellow second graders next year academically. I just want him to not feel overwhelmed while working. 

*

Isaac is slowly slowly slowly gaining spoken language. I’ve said before and stand by that I don’t care if he never speaks completely fluently, but I do want him to be able to communicate his wants and needs so that he doesn’t get frustrated so much. And he does get frustrated, but his meltdowns remain rare--they usually only happen if something he loved doing ends or if someone takes his toy or won’t give him their toy or just other typical toddler stuff (which inclines me to classify them more as tantrums than meltdowns, but eh). BUT he also communicates, not just by taking someone’s hand and putting it on something he wants, but by using words. He LOVES to talk about the cats (which are his favorite thing--cats of all types, including those in the musical) (but NOT THE MOVIE DEAR JESUS), and the other day, he very meticulously directed me to draw a picture of the three cats happily sleeping on his bed, based on his memory of seeing them happily sleeping on his bed at naptime. 

He’s definitely got his drilled down special interests--cats, cars, Mickey Mouse, Daniel Tiger, and Celtic Woman (we call them his “ladies”). And he is just such an absolute sweetie. He still has the smile that basically convinces you that you would both kill and die for him (shown above), and the way he relaxes against me when he’s tired just makes me sigh and love him to absolute pieces. He’s 110% a momma’s boy, and although I hope he grows out of it when the time is right, it’s really sweet right now. 

He easily qualified for special ed preschool, which I’ll talk about more in a second. 

*

And then Miss Carrie, who basically read the rhyme about little girls being made of sugar and spice and all things nice and took it as gospel but ALSO realized that you can do all of those things while being a monster, beating up everyone who treats you wrong, and covering yourself in tattoos. I say of her that she’s too much, but in the best possible way: I want her to keep being too much forever, because it is absolutely delightful. She’s always giggling or twirling, singing or commanding her brothers in a game of pretend. She never just walks anywhere, she always prances or skips or dances or hops or jumps. She can be a screechy little spitfire one second and then brush away her angry tears and transform into a little cherub the next, and it’s hilarious. Everything ever must be pink and glittery (I promise, I did not try and force pink on her, she jumped to it on her own), must flounce out correctly when she twirls, must make her feel like a fairy tale princess. 

She merrily adopts all the stereotypical “girly” things in life--Barbies, princesses, My Little Pony (yep, we’re back in that phase), unicorns, mermaids, “cute” things, etc. At the same time, she’s always game for a lightsaber fight, playing “bug” with Sammy (I don’t know what “bug” is as a game, but the kids have established rules for it and play it whenever they’re not too tired after dinner), and wrestling with her dad and brothers. It’s wonderful. 

And SHE qualified for special ed preschool because her muscle tone is hilariously low (read: she flops). 

*

The twins are starting preschool Monday because they are turning three and thus losing early intervention services. I worry somewhat about them being in school with Covid still raging (even though I’m 50% of the way to fully vaccinated--going back for Pfizer #2 on Saturday!), but it’s a huge relief that their therapies (speech, occupational, physical) are being coordinated by the school and not by me. I’m the most organized person in this house, and anyone who’s ever seen my house knows what a statement that is (it’s gotten worse since my sciatica has settled in, because bending over is just not a thing I can do without suffering), so having that burden lifted from my shoulders? Heavenly. 

And I’m just overall proud as fuck of all three kids. They’re so resilient, and I know that the pandemic has been hard on them in a lot of ways, but they’re still kicking ass, still smiling and laughing and having fun, and that’s been a bright spot for the entire last year.

[sapphic-giraffic]

Mudkipz (& Deadnames)

Moving right along, it’s Part 4, babey! Trigger warnings on this one for dysphoria, depression, divorce, and deadnames so use caution.

So, y’all heard that I like Mudkips, lol?

I don’t remember what starter I picked the first time I played Emerald. It was sort of a hazy time in my life. I was away from the franchise for many years (I never actually owned a GBA). I think Gen 5 was out at this point. The woman I was married to at the time decided that she wanted to get into Pokémon, so we went to GameStop and got a used first gen DS, a copy of Emerald version for me, and Diamond/Pearl for her (I don’t recall which. We only got the one used DS, not because we couldn’t afford another, but because my ex-wife is a cheap bitch).

Sadly, I never finished that play-through of Emerald. A lot of things from that time just weren’t meant to be (for instance, I wasn’t meant to be a Man, or a Republican, or a Catholic). I don’t remember how far I got, either. That period was a fog of depression driven by gender dysphoria, a dysfunctional marriage, and struggling through grad school with undiagnosed Autism and ADHD. It’s sort of a wonder that I remember any of it at all.

Fast-forward a few years later and I’m in a new state with a new partner (my current wife, London) and working a real job. Our finances were pretty bad (they still are) and we were living in the spare room of a friend who owned the exotic bird store that we frequented to get supplies for our parrots. London and I were in a pretty bad funk at this point. Being poor sucks, the living arrangements were bad, I was struggling at work due to my disabilities, it was all a fucking mess. We had planned to have a bigger wedding, but London and I went ahead and got married early because her health was declining and we needed to get her on my insurance policy (fuck American health care tbh).

So what does this all have to do with Mudkip? Well, Pokémon became my escape. As a grown adult with an income and an internet connection, I could finally achieve my life-long dream of completing the National Pokédex, and that’s exactly what I set out to do. I played through HeartGold, Black version (more on this later), Y version, and finally Omega Ruby. It actually became an unhealthy obsession for a while, but at least it got me through.

So, upon starting my Gen 6 Hoenn run, I chose Mudkip as my starter because I was really into Water types right then (check out the budget Misty cosplay pictured above). But what would his nickname be? I never bothered with naming my Pokémon as a kid, but since picking it back up, I had always at least named my starters.

Well, one of the things I was struggling with at work was hearing my deadname. I had already gotten it legally changed, so no one actually called me that anymore, but there was a guy there I encountered sometimes who was also called [redacted], and I flinched every time he was mentioned. Knowing this, London came up with an amazing suggestion. She told me to nickname my starter with my deadname in order to desensitize myself to it and recontextualize my association with it.

So that’s what I did. [Redacted] the Mudkip (and later Marshtomp, then Swampert) followed me all around Hoenn. After that play-through, I’m no longer afraid of hearing my deadname. The only reason I’m omitting it here is because I know that many of my followers are transgender and that for many, knowing another trans person’s deadname is very uncomfortable, so I won’t burden y’all with that.

To this day, the Mudkip plushie of the same name (shown above) lives on my nightstand. He is my friend and I see him every day.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Part 5 of Jessica’s Pokémon 7/11 Challenge Explained will be coming soon.

[unseenthewriter]

CHAPTER 2: NOW

Chapter 2: 2054 Words

Total: 3847 Words

Summer is finally over. Maybe people will stop asking if I'm a tourist. Probably not but one can hope. Besides the fact that I'm still at the hotel I've mostly settled in. Got a car. Miller helped me a bit with that. People at the station are mostly over me being "The New Weird American Guy". The Key situation has gotten nowhere though. Besides the fact it's old.

"Do you have time to watch my kids again on Saturday?" Miller asked.

I looked up from my report. "Mmm sure anything to get out of my hotel room."

"You still haven't found a place then?" She asked.

"No all the apartments... Er I mean flats are not that great and I don't want the upkeep of a whole house." I replied.

"But you can afford a house?" Ellie said.

"Yes, the lack of my workaholic parents means I have a lot of disposable income." I joked.

"That's one way of putting it. You can just say you're rich." She commented.

"Why do you think I refuse money for babysitting your kids..." I muttered.

"I heard that." She quipped.

"Murray. My Office." Hardy said.

"Got it." I chirped.

"You've been a bit slower the past few days." Hardy said after I closed the door and sat down.

"Sorry, Sir I don't have any excuse." I said while rubbing the key.

"That whole key thing is distracting you isn't it?" He said.

I was able to get my work done before looking into the key for a while but it's been distracting me much more recently. "Yes it is I'll stop looking into it during work hours Sir."

Hardy sighed. "You're one of the few good detectives around here Murray. Stay that way."

"Of course Sir." I said and stood up.

"One more thing Murray." Hardy said and stood up as well.

I turned around.

"This tie was your Father's. He left it the last time he visited." He said.

I could tell it was my Dad's favorite plain black tie. Wore it constantly. "Thank you, I was wondering where that one went."

~~~

I stared at my Dad's tie while in the bathroom. I'm glad my Dad was also short like me otherwise I wouldn't be able to wear it. It still feels like something I have to grow into. Metaphorically.

I walked back out to see Miller yelling at someone on the phone and Hardy sniffing the milk. They were here late on another big case. Preparing for court I believe.

"Oh, Murray you're still here. Nice tie." Miller said after hanging up the phone. Hardy looked over to me.

"Did you finish-"

I cut him off by putting some paperwork in his hands. "All caught up." I replied.

Hardy looked it over while sipping his tea. I started packing up my things. "Oh Murray, I need you to check in with the IT guy."

It must be because of how busy he and Miller are. "What's it about?" I'd prefer to not walk in blind.

"Some sort of security thing." He said.

Walking in blind then. "I'll see him first thing tomorrow morning." I replied.

~~~

"Bill?" I said while walking into the IT office.

"Oh gosh who did Hardy send this time." A man said popping his head up from under a desk.

"DS Murray. Hardy is at court today. He said there was some security thing I would've preferred not walking in here knowing pretty much noth-"

"Oh! You're that new DS who used to specialize in cybercrime right?" He cut me off.

I hate how fast everything about everyone travels here. It's like being back in boarding school. "Yes."

"Oh great, you'll understand what I'm talking about then!" He said and grabbed my arm pulling me over to a monitor. I paled. Please no. I never wanted to see this again.

"You alright? You look like you've seen a ghost." Bill asked.

"That's because this is a ghost." I said.

~~~

I splashed water on my face. "God this is the worst Friday ever." I mumbled. "He's dead Finn it's just a copy cat or something. You shot the guy come on." I said trying to calm my shaking hands.

I need to tell Hardy but... I can't say "So the guy who killed my father and shot me is back even though I killed him a month after that." Over the phone. It's going to sound insane.

"Just finish today and we'll tell Hardy on Monday yeah. It's not like it's an emergency Finn." I said to myself.

~~~

"Thank you again for watching my kids Murray. They adore you." Miller said over the phone to me.

"I told you, Ellie, anything to get me out of that hotel room yeah? Anyway, I have to go I'm home now." I said.

"Eat something! You didn't eat anything here." Ellie said.

"Oh you're breaking up I didn't hear that storm must be really bad I'll talk to you Monday" I lied and hung up.

I walked in my room to see it was ransacked. "Fuck." I guess it is an emergency now.

~~~

I knocked on Hardy's door already soaking wet from the storm outside.

"Kid it's past midnight why are you here." Hardy said.

"I-I need help." I admitted.

He sighed. "Fine come in." He said.

I shivered while sitting down in a kitchen chair. "You could've waited until tomorrow or even Monday." Hardy said. "Tea?"

"No thanks, I don't like tea." I said softly.

"Hm, you really are American then huh." He commented.

"I don't like coffee either." I sighed.

"What are you 5?" Hardy asked.

"I wish 5-year-olds don't have to deal with crazy murderous hackers." I said to myself.

"Come again?" Hardy said. He heard me then.

"You know that case I told you about my second week here." I started.

"The one where you got shot and your father died." Hardy said and sat down with a cup of tea.

"Well a month later we finally tracked the guy down again and I got him. He wouldn't surrender so I had to kill him." Not a great time in my life I will say that much.

"I don't see why that makes you come all the way to my house on a Saturday night looking like you're going to die." Hardy said.

"Friday morning I checked in with Bill like you said." I continued.

"Bill?" He interrupted.

"The IT Guy." I said. "Anyway he showed me something that looked exactly like what that guy I killed would've done. I figured it was just a copy cat or something and I was going to tell you about it on Monday."

"It's not Monday." Hardy cut in again.

"Ellie asked me to watch her kids today. I just got back to my hotel room when I saw the place was ransacked." I finished.

"Right so you think this is that guy that's dead then." Hardy said and stood up.

"It's too much to just be a coincidence." I said softly.

"Did you touch anything in the room?" He asked while washing his cup.

"No, I came right here." I said.

"I'll call the station and tell them to set up a crime scene in the meantime there's a guest room down the hall." Hardy told me.

"Sir I mean I can just get another room." I said.

He glared at me. "Right I'll just grab my bag from my car then."

"You're wearing it" He pointed out.

"O-oh right haha." I guess I am staying here then.

~~~

"Ah gosh how come my son is a better shot than I am." Dad whined.

"Mom was a great teacher I guess." I said looking at the target I shot.

"I taught you too."

"Just going to a shooting range isn't teaching Dad."

"Neither is the ice cream after or should we stop doing that?" He joked.

"Don't joke about ice cream when I'm holding a gun." I joked back.

"Oh right a DC shooting an MI6 Agent. God imagine the headlines." He continued.

"Dad please." I pleaded.

"AND I'm your Father God the press would have a field day with that." He kept on.

"DAD!" I yelped.

"Oh alright let's get the ice cream then." Dad said while ruffling my hair.

~~~

I rolled over to my phone. 6 AM only got a few hours of sleep then. I sighed. "I don't deserve nice dreams right now." I groaned while getting up. I put my suit back on. I have a spare shirt in my car I can change into later. "Not today shoulder please." I groaned while walking into the bathroom to get ready.

I was surprised to see Hardy up. It being a Sunday and all.

"Do you always look this bad when you wake up." He commented as I walked into the kitchen.

I rubbed my shoulder while sitting down. "Only when people mention it."

There was a knock on the door. Miller walked in. "I heard there's a crime scene being set up at-" She paused when she saw me. "Was it your room Finn?"

I put my head on the table. "It's too early for this" I mumbled.

"Did he stay the night?" She asked.

Hardy nodded.

"Right, I'm taking a walk." I said softly and grabbing my still slightly damp sports coat.

"You should eat som-" I closed the door before Miller could mother me again.

"Fucking fuck." I cursed. It was still raining but whatever.

~~~

"You're really close to the edge there." Hardy said waking up behind me.

"Oh really didn't notice." I said sarcastically.

He sighed. "Miller keeps going on about how you didn't eat yesterday or today."

I kept staring at the raindrops hitting the ocean. "I'm not hungry."

"Come on you're going to get sick at this rate. I don't want to deal with your asthma."

I sighed and followed Hardy to Miller's car. "Sometimes I wonder how you are able to take care of my kids so well when you don't care about your own body." Miller said and threw me a bag with fish and chips.

"I don't like fish." I mumbled.

"If you don't eat it I'm shoving it down your throat." She said.

I grumbled and started eating.

"The station." Hardy said to Miller after getting in the passenger's seat.

"Yes I know." She replied.

~~~

Good thing I also have a spare shirt at the station. Pants though... Those are still wet.

"Nothing was taken." Hardy said while I was rubbing my shoulder. Rain really is not nice on that old gunshot wound.

"They were looking for something then." Miller said.

"I figured. I would never keep what they were looking for in a not secure area" I said.

"What is it?" Miller asked.

"I'm assuming if it's my old dead but now apparently alive again buddy he would be looking for this." I said putting a USB Drive on Hardy's desk.

"What's on it." Hardy asked.

"Oh, you know just all of my Mom and Dad's old case files." I said.

"Are the files on there-" Miller started.

"Classified as hell." I said. I leaned back in the chair rubbing my shoulder. "I thought about destroying it but Dad always told me to never do that under any circumstances."

"Even if he's dead?" Hardy asked.

"Especially if he's dead. Does anyone have some Advil or something similar?" I asked.

Miller nodded and walked out of Hardy's office to grab it.

Hardy set the USB Drive down and I took it back. "I've been thinking about putting it in a bank lockbox but I haven't had the chance. It's just been locked in my desk drawer for now."

Miller walked back in with the pill and a cup of water. "Thank you so much." I said softly and took the pill.

"So what's the plan." Miller asked.

Hardy thought for a moment. "For now keep the USB Drive where you had it Murray and you'll stay at my place until further notice."

"But my room should no longer be a crime scene in an hour." I said.

"He knows your staying there." Hardy replied.

"I'm fine. I'm not a kid." I said walking out.

AN: Plot already?! I know so unlike me lmao

[johnnymembrane]

Ok so

I met this girl about a month ago I started talking to her and the night I did I happened to go to jail.. we talked about how she was too good and hot n cool for her bf. when I went to jail she thought I ignored her pbly, she went back to her man. so a week goes by I'm outta jail n contact her again. I take her out to eat and then we hangout again and fuck( the ex doesn't believe we've fucked still even tho it's obvious where's his gf been)so here's where it gets fucked So right after we finished having sex for the first time (which was really good actually) her friend texted me that I hung out with the day before and wanted me to pick her up. I figured I'd never have a chance to pull a double in one night again she texted me literally as we finished I wanted to fuck again n she didn't she creamed all over me and she's good in bed so I tell her I'm going to go fuck her friend and she says we're just friends I don't care even tho we just finished having sex I was like ok well Ill be back in the morning before you wake up So I go pick up her friend and I hold her hand and then we get to a spot and she gets out and says she's coming back to the car but never does she pussied out I think Anyways we hangout still and bone again while on her period I film a porn of us fucking doggy in my car but she deleted it we could of made $1000 bucks I ate her ass on her period even I thought I was gonna get pink eye A couple days go by she fucks her ex again she was with him for a year I go and fuck some random chick I meet cause I figure it's only fair idk how much she cares but I care alot and love her since the first few days when I went to jail I was thinking about her and her daughter So I fuck some other chick while she's with her ex I don't even care about them hooking up I believe in doing what you want and need and being happy so I fuck this other broad for hours 5 hours probably no condom can't nut her pussy was too tight even and my other girl has a daughter n her pussy is tighter the first time we fked her pussy was tighter than hella girls I've fucked I know it sounds like fk this or fk that but in the end we never even kissed until after the 3rd time we fucked I wanted an intimate first kiss isn't that crazy we needed each other that bad she cheated on her now ex or bf whatever she calls him he's a nerd and a dickhead So the other day I drive my girl who's a friend over to hang out with her ex and talk to him so they're talking and I am like fk it I gotta go so I back up and accidentally hit her while she's talking to her friend I backed up a lil too much she didn't get hurt but she jumps in the car n starts hitting me then her ex thinks that's an excuse to let out nerd rage and breaks 3 of my fucking car windows while I'm in the car(I sleep in my car atm) I'm in between places so the asshole breaks my windows like it's a thing to do btw this dude is homeless no job lives in abandoned buildings and he thinks he's the shit I'm like no bro I'm the shit I fuckin beat his ass and he is 3 inches taller and bigger I jumped on this fool and knocked him so to sum it up this dude got his gf who's my bestie fucked by me then he got his assbeat by me then he broke my windows which he can't afford to fix what a loser right? So I now borrow money from my parents to fix these fucking windows which fucks me up on rent next month and the only place to sleep or kick it in this weather is the abandoned building spot where dude sleeps we do heroin and meth in this building all these homeless kids I play guitar n shit for em I can't kick it at the abandoned building anymore he sleeps at he'll try to stab me pbly he's retarded he assaulted my girlfriend who's open relationship with me she seriously has no trust for me and had the right to sleep with her ex after I tried to fuck her friend doesn't that suck she's so insecure and sad about what I did we're still best friends but she was so happy the first night we had sex and when I left her house to fuck her friend a hour after it probably hurt hella bad I don't even realize she cares about me and am hella dumb...I still take care of her n shit she's my bestie we've only known each other for a month now She's also a pornstar already with 300k views I think she's hot as fuck I always wanted to date a pornstar I got tons of views from music and skating and I have a video of me Jackin off on Facebook it was on for a minute Right now she is refusing to have sex with me but we have separation issues at the same time I finally got an excuse to kiss her which was after having sex more than once no kissing involved crazy right I got to kiss her cause her bf assaulted her she was in the hospital isn't this shit crazy?? Just this month I got jacked in a drug deal for 100 dollar bill I got fake coke I lost a wallet with over 300 in it I lost all my cards n can't afford to even get my driver's license again sleepin in my car cause I decided to buy a new guitar instead of pay rent and sleep in my car and stay up on meth all day So I just shot some meth into my foot I have a broken foot from skating that's why I'm not pro I had a 3 year break plus it never healed right I'm lucky I can run and walk I had to relearn how to skate completely I even filmed a video partand clips on this broken foot So my story I grew up skating 12 with my friends in 6th grade we got instruments to make a blink 182 band I got stuck on bass I played bass through advanced level school band but we never practiced once for the blink 182 band So I start skating and I meet Chris billington my best friend my parents always say he's no good but she says that about everyone of my friends she thinks I'm bad news so fk it So one day we're at rush bump a skate spot it's a big old loading dock ramp and I kickflip it and that's when Chris billington becomes my filmer We film for days and make a video part gets like 5k views one of the first internet skate parts Josh newsham we actually filmed it on a stolen vx1000 camera how else would kids afford such equipment lol so I keep skating and get sponsored and film more all my best stuff at 18 this stuff gets deleted and ruinz my skate career It got deleted cause my friend Chris his camera broke so we switched filmers to a new filmer in town Massimo During the footage transfer Massimo leaves some porn on a hard drive to get my skate clips from PC to PC there's a dog fuckin a girl on there dirty feet all sorts a shit so we all start gossiping about it to one another and I end up losing my footage Massimo now films all pros nyjah mainly and also films Justin bieber music videos now So around 19 I break my foot in a bowl doing a boneless I heal for two years and just snowboard and skate a lil relearned everything so around 21 Chris billington randomly runs into my mom at the mall and contacts me I end up playing bass guitar with him and we start a band he called mindflowers We play shows for a few years have different lineup changes I even played drums in the band for second we never played a show but we had 6 songs down eventually Chris has two kids and can't tour so I'm stuck alone I finally take intiative and last year I had my own band I ran and played electric guitar and wrote and sing the songs we broke up last year sometime I was on acid for the first time at our last show I reassessed my life broke up with my ugly gf I was embarrassed of her name was Kelsey dillard hella gross double ds 32 makes 48k a year bought me coke everyday if she didn't I'd of broke up with her sooner pbly I lived with her in an apartment in midtown I never had money to move out on my own before that I always wanted to live downtown I'd fuck her too loud her roommates kicked us outta the place we went back to parents for a sec it sucked that relationship sucked socbad I was so not happy the whole time So I broke up with her cause I wanted to go see mid 90s one day and I wanted to go to guitar center and get a new guitar practically my work equipment she couldn't get her lazy ass up to go with me so I broke up with her I took her back after she cried then she broke up with me LOL That was last year this year I've slept with 7 different girls I think a Kelsey and the girl I hangout with right now my bestie her name is kellsie so there's 3 Kels's ive fucked lol I just started having sex last year the first night of our first show I lost my Virginia it's not funny I tried to save it for marriage I've fucked 8 girls total maybe since then and they have all been in one night stands except for my friend im hanging out with right now we didn't have sex for a week or two n she had to breakup with her bf cause he's hella gay n broke my windows n got his ass beat by a 27 year old he's 32 lol So I had sex with this chick the other day within 30 seconds I said hey will you hold my hand I'm hella sad then she did then I just started hooking up with her I fucked her in the abandoned building place from stated above and I fucked her in my car while driving on the freeway hahahaha she sucked it while I drove too she was funny I kept trying to fuck her everywhere I fucked her on top of my car in this parking lot in the middle of the night cold as fk out I couldn't even nut for 5 hours no condom cause I was thinking about my friend I kick it with such a fked up story were still friends and hangout after all that shit me trying to fuck her friend after the first time we had sex but we didn't kiss I told her kiss me or I'm leaving to fuck your friend she wouldn't kiss me or let me kiss her so I left to fuck her friend her friend pussied out but I held her hand intimately cause the girl I fked hurt me so bad by not kissing me after we made love anyways yeah I had to beat up her boyfriend who's 32 both of us sleep with other people while knowing each other finally had a first kiss after 3 times sex isn't that interesting she even doesn't let me sleep in her room all the time cause she fkn thinks her ex will get mad even tho I'm over neways she's hot got cool style skater dope head chick her ex is ugly imo she says he's hot I don't think he is I would say so otherwise but this dude's a nerd has no job barely a bigger dick maybe I seen him fuckin her even I don't care I do but I don't he cares and tries to fight me with knives n shit all the time he broke out my windowsclike what a loser and assaulted my friend thats a girl like wtf all in a month I've dealt with all this shit oh and all while last week I performed my first hand flip during a live performance I went off stage and flipped in an open area I'll do it on bigger stages easy Anyways that's all I got for you Johnny membrane - out

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #398

“freedom is just man’s invention, & a soldier is just a slave”

What do you do the most when you’re online? Watch/listen to YouTube. Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever spent your birthday alone? No, that sure would suck. Were you afraid of heights as a child? Actually no, but NOW I kinda am. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? No. Would you ever take a solo road trip? No, that sounds super depressing and lonely. Do the mountains fascinate you? Of course! So much history built into a magnificent, awe-inspiring piece of nature. Have you ever been insulted or called names by a significant other? Wow, no. I wouldn't tolerate that for a second. What’s your favorite movie battle scene? The fight between Simba and Scar is very powerful imo. Have you ever been to a same-sex wedding? No, but not because I'm opposed. I'd love to go to one and be the photographer. What’s your favorite Marvel movie? Probably one of the Spider-Man films. I don't remember which it is, and I don't want to spoil it by explaining what I do recall. Did you have a Walkman when you were a kid? No. What’s the most difficult experience you and a significant other have gone through together? Being long-distance when we really wanted each other's physical comfort. Have you ever attempted to pick a lock? Did you succeed? Yes, because Ashley locked her keys in the car. I don't remember if it worked, actually. Have you done the Bratz doll challenge for YouTube? No. I've seen a couple people do it, though, and it's both cool and creepy. Does the hospital in your town have a good reputation? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. What is your favorite nickname that you’ve had? "Bee" from Megan. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No. I would be SO uncomfortable. If you had braces, do you wear your retainers still? No. :/ Well, the one you put in, anyone. I have a metal one behind the front row of my bottom teeth. If you had braces, have your teeth moved since you got them off? Yes. Do you know anyone personally who’s lost a child? I know way too many people who have suffered miscarriages. Do you take your medications regularly? Yes. What’s one luxury item you wish you could afford? An actually nice house. What’s your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Just kinda casually swim around. Have you ever been abused by a cop? No. What is one thing that you took to show-and-tell as a kid? My Snorlax plushy. Do you remember losing your first tooth? No. In the summer would you rather have the windows down or the A/C on in the car? I strongly prefer A/C. Have you ever been addicted to a game? What game? I had a long-time addiction to World of Warcraft for a couple years or so. I still play it now, but I'm not addicted to it anymore. As a matter of fact I get bored of it easily now. Which was better: the original The Lion King or the sequel? The original, but I love both very much. Do any of your grandparents have a tattoo? I don't know if any did. Do you believe that your pets feel love towards you? Roman, 120%. It is so obvious. Venus, no, as reptiles are literally incapable of experiencing that emotion. I do, however, know she trusts me. Are you proud of your body? FUCK no. Have you ever been rushed to the hospital in an ambulance? No. How do YOU believe the world & universe started? I don't know. I feel like MAYBE there is some sort of ultimate intelligence that formed the universe (maybe prompted the Big Bang, though I've always been dubious of that occurring naturally), but I don't think of this topic frequently at all. Does it really matter, after all? We're here, so just focus on that and live in the now. Have you ever stuck gum under a desk/chair? NO, that shit grosses me the hell out. When shopping at a grocery store, do you return your cart or just leave it? Return your fucking cart, please. It is NOT that difficult. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? Certain places I've, uh, "done" things. When you were little, did you like Dr. Suess books? Yep. I seriously loved Green Eggs and Ham. What would you consider unforgivable? Rape is #1. Would you rather give your food to a homeless shelter or money to charity? Food to a homeless shelter, but I'd love to do both. What was your least favorite year of your life so far? 2016 was a fucking NIGHTMARE. Have you spent money on a game online? On one occasion, I asked if Mom would reactivate my WoW account, and when two expansions came out, I asked if she could buy them. I HATED asking. Thankfully, now, I'm rich enough in the game to pay for the "token" currency, which renews your subscription for a month, so I essentially play for free now. Have you been called a bad influence? Yes. Have any self-done piercings? Noooo. I only trust professionals. Ever pierced someone else? Again, no. Leave it to professionals, as well as someone without tremors. If you had a child with down’s syndrome, would you keep him/her? IF I wanted kids, of course I would. It really, REALLY bothers me when DS is the reason behind abortion. Mind you, I am pro-choice, but come on... Don't treat down's syndrome children as a curse. If someone tried to murder your child, do you think it would be wrong to expose them publicly and talk about it on social media? Of fucking course I would. I'd damn that person to hell myself. Is there a toxic person that you miss? I sometimes miss Colleen. Are you still contemplating going back to someone you shouldn’t? With Jason, yes. If he actually wanted me back (that will never happen, but anyway), I fear I'd say yes and probably would, realistically. When was the last time you had a new crush? When I realized I was bisexual. Do you want Jesus to come back soon? Back when I was a Christian, I was terrified of Judgment Day. I don't believe in it now. What is something you can’t wear because of your body type? I COULD wear whatever the hell I wanted, but I refuse to wear crop tops or strapless tops (or strapless bras). Oh, and thongs. No thanks. If you have curves, do you like them? I'm not curvy naturally, I'm just fat. Have you ever worn matching pajamas with someone? No, but that'd be cute. Has anyone ever mistaken you for being anorexic? No way. What fast food place do you avoid at all costs? Arby's, to name one. Are you afraid of deep sea creatures? Yes, especially giant squid. Have you ever agreed to purchase something on Ebay and got scammed somehow? Ugh, I got Ico THREE TIMES and they were ALL broken; they'd freeze in the first few minutes. Has anybody ever given you a promise ring? No. What is your favorite kind of cake? Red velvet. Honestly, have you ever eaten raw cookie dough? Yeah, multiple times. Were you outdoors or indoors more as a kid? I'd say it was a split down the middle. Have you ever had a relationship that began via text? Jason, Tyler, Juan, and Sara all began over text. Girt asked me out over Facebook Messenger. Do you think sloths are cute or ugly? They're cuties! What eyeshadow suits you best? I only wear black eyeshadow. Do you watch the show Wizards of Waverly Place? I did as a kid and really liked it. Have you ever been to the rainforest? No. I don't think I could handle the humidity, though I'd love to see all the beautiful wonders. Are you a member of any clubs? No. Would you shave your head with a friend who had cancer? If it was someone I was very close to and they were extremely self-conscious about it, I'd probably be willing to get very short hair, but I don't think I could handle no hair at all. How did you meet your pet? Roman was one of the kittens of Ashley's mother-in-law's cats. She has way too many cats and needed to get rid of the kittens, and I'd been wanting one like mad. I found Venus via the online reptile-selling hub called Morph Market, and I became VERY interested in the many, many ball python morphs, and when I saw her, I immediately knew that was my baby. Did/Do you have any PEZ dispensers? I did as a kiddo. What are some of the phrases in your personal ‘bingo’ card? "Mood," "can't relate," "hi, how are ya," "jinkies," "yikes," "oof," shit like that. Have you ever been through a trap door? No. Do/did you have to wear a uniform to your high school? No, only middle school. How many video games do you own? A whole lot. Have you ever visited a sex shop? No. Have you ever ridden a bicycle through a busy city? No, I'd be very scared to. Do you use Instagram? How often do you post there? I have two for my varying photography subjects. I post very rarely on both. Have you ever had a scary encounter with a wild animal? I have not.