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#i was very very very seriously considering going to the hospital. but like ive ridden in an ambulance before and i dont wanna spend like
opens-up-4-nobody · 5 months
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#holy fuck. knock on wood. fingers crossed. press my thumbs. i think the pain is cycling down#like probably its this bad bc my body is weak from fighting an allergic reaction and i think lam1ctal can cause some menstral issues#but like holy fuck. i cannot go thru that again. just hours of being nauseous and crumpled in pain#i was very very very seriously considering going to the hospital. but like ive ridden in an ambulance before and i dont wanna spend like#1000 dollars to go like 10min down the road. bullshit. god i hope its stopping#it was just like so much pain i didnt kno what to do. absolutely intolerable. ugh.#please dont let this happen tomorrow 🙏 please please please. i have to teach#and ny roommate is staying here the next 2 nights after not seeing her for like months#y now? 😭 im gonna have to b like hi *visibly disheveled* if i talk i might puke. bye.#i wish i could just sleep thru this. ibuprofen is not helping 😭#im just worried if i went to the hospital theyd make me wait for hours in the waiting room. shaking with pain. and then id b fine by the#time they got to me. like yea srry i was jusy being a lil bitch abt a normal bodily process lol. god. ppl with high levels of chronic pain#how tf do u do it? i dont think im strong enough. but i guess u probably get used to it. god that sucks so bad#ugh. i wish my mom was here. i want her to just pet my hair until i feel better 😭 but nooo shes going off to have fun in canada#so she's gonna b even farther from me than normal 😭#unrelated
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madasthesea · 5 years
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5 times Tony tries to tell Peter he loves him
+1 time Peter actually hears him
i.
“What’s going on with you, kid?” Tony asks. Peter jerks, looking away from the window for the first time since he got in the car.
“What? Nothing,” Peter says unconvincingly. His hair is rumpled from where he was leaning against the head rest.
“You sure? You look...” Tony searches for a word and Peter raises his eyebrow, “sick.” He finally lands on, because that’s the best way to describe Peter’s thin face, pale cheeks, and dull eyes. Peter’s hand shakes as he rubs at his forehead. There’s something about it that makes Tony think ‘bone-deep exhausted’ might have been a better choice.
“’m fine,” Peter insists. “I can’t get sick.”
Tony has a vivid memory of a sweaty, delirious Peter curled up in his lap that contradicts that statement, but he bites it back. He stays quiet for a minute, maneuvering through traffic carefully.
“You know,” he finally starts. Peter jumps again like he’d forgotten where he was and who he was with. “If you need something, you can ask me. I want you to ask me.”
“What would I need?” Peter asks, the curve of his mouth a smile that is almost bitter in its resignation.
“You tell me,” Tony challenges. Peter just looks at him, unimpressed. Tony sighs.
“I mean if you need a solid meal that isn’t burnt, I can cook. If you need a nap, I’ve got a bed with your name on it. If you need to, I don’t know, blow some stuff up in an adult-supervised, high tech lab, we can do that.”
Peter’s mouth thins like he’s holding back words that are desperately trying to get out. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he whispers.
They get to Peter’s block and Tony wonders if Peter is out of it enough to not notice if they went around a few more times to give him time to say what he needs to. But instead he pulls up to the curb, puts the car in park.
Peter unbuckles his seatbelt and Tony fights the urge to drive off, to go back to the tower and bundle Peter up where he can watch him and make sure he’s ok.
“Maybe take tomorrow off school,” Tony suggests.
“I’ve got a test,” Peter says with a small grimace.
“I’m on your emergency list, I can sign you out.”
Peter looks like he honestly considers it, which is both an admission of how much he’s struggling and a small victory that some part of Tony’s lecture is getting through.
“I’m ok. Thank you, Mr. Stark.” His hair is still sticking up. Tony fiddles with the gear shift to avoid reaching out and smoothing it.
“Ok. Well, you know where to find me.”
Peter gives him a slightly more genuine smile and opens the door.
“Take care of yourself, kid. I l—” Tony cuts off, stunned at the word on the tip of his tongue.
“I’ll see you later,” he chokes out as Peter stares at him.
“Ok,” Peter says slowly. “Bye.”
Tony sits frozen at the curb as Peter enters his apartment building, then mechanically puts his car into drive and pulls away.
Had he seriously just almost told Peter he loves him? On accident?  
He hasn’t done that since he was seven and he told his father he loved him. Howard had just stared at him for a moment and then shooed him from the room.
He had never pictured those words coming out of his mouth so easily in his life. It took him months of reminding himself to say it to Pepper before he became comfortable with it, and that was with the love of his life. What is it about this kid that erased all of his trauma, knocked down all of his walls?
He couldn’t place his finger on a single reason, but he knows, in a bone-deep way, that despite how unplanned the words were, they are true.
He loves Peter.
Even if he’s only just now realizing it.  
 ii. 
When their captors come, Tony presses Peter into the corner, his back against Peter’s rapidly moving chest, and snarls. The men just laugh as they grab Tony by the hair and drag him away. Peter’s yelling behind him, but as Tony twists and struggles, he can see that he’s being left in the glass cell, two men guarding the door to make sure he doesn’t get out.
Even as his hair is pulling loose from his scalp, Tony breathes a sigh of relief.
The door to Peter’s cage locks behind Tony.
The man holding him bodily drags Tony until he’s standing on his own two feet.
“Look at him,” he sneers, his hot breath reeking as it fans over Tony’s face. But he obeys, because he wants to look at Peter one last time.
Peter, who’s still raging against the walls, pounding both fists against the reinforced glass as he looks frantically around for some hope of salvation.
“You’re never going to see him again, Stark. Any last words before we kill you?”
He has a lot of words: Stay in school and it’s ok to mess up sometimes and don’t get yourself killed, Pete.
But most of all he thinks my dad never told me he loved me.
He swallows hard and the man laughs. “No? Alright then.”
Another hand seizes his arm and he’s being jerked backwards, away from Peter, whose eyes go impossibly wider, his gestures getting more desperate.
“Peter.” The name is jerked out of him before he can stop it. “Peter.”
Even with the rough, unbalanced motion of being forced away, Tony can see still the first tears fall down Peter’s cheeks.
And what does pride matter when compared to the look on Peter’s face. So he’ll be mocked even more as he’s tortured and killed. It’s worth it for Peter to know.
“I love you.”
The men around him laugh, jostle him further.
Peter doesn’t react. Tony only now realizes that he’s yelling, has been yelling this whole time. The cell is soundproof. Peter can’t hear him.
He needs Peter to hear him.
He can’t die when Peter doesn’t even know that he was unquestionably, unconditionally loved.  
“I love you! Peter, look at me!” he pleads, begs the kid to read his lips through the glass, but Peter is looking around too much, never focusing directly on Tony, still holding out for some last hope.
They reach the end of the hallway. Tony had been afraid to fight back before, worried that they would punish his bad behavior on Peter, but now he claws for just a few more moments with Peter in his sights.
“Look at me, Pete! I love you. I love you.”
Someone kicks his hand where he’s scrabbling at the wall. Another boot meets the back of his knee. He goes down hard, and Peter disappears as he’s dragged around the corner.
Later, when Tony wakes up in a hospital bed next to Peter’s, he watches the kid breathe and tells himself that he still has time.
iii. 
Getting thrown into a cement wall hard enough to dent it would have broken anyone else’s spine, but thank the gods above, Peter isn’t anyone else. He’s able to hobble away with some bruises and stiff muscles.
It’s still enough to leave him nearly bedridden for days. Or should he say, couch-ridden, since Tony and Peter have been camped out on his sofa for going on eighteen hours. And even Peter’s impressive movie-watching stamina is starting to wear thin.
Tony is pretending to watch the movie, actually watching Peter out of the corner of his eye as Peter tries to shift into a more reclined position.
The hiss of pain through Peter’s teeth is the signal Tony was waiting for.
“Ok, easy,” Tony says hurriedly, reaching for Peter’s shoulders. “Let’s try something else, alright?”
Peter nods minutely, his eyes clenched in pain.
Tony scoots forward, wraps his arm around Peter’s waist and carefully tips the boy back against his chest. Peter’s muscles are tense under his touch, still too wary of the pain to find comfort in it.
Tony gently rubs a palm against Peter’s chest and stomach. “Relax,” he murmurs. Slowly, Peter sags into him, his injured back warm and solid against Tony. “There we go.”
Peter’s head lolls against Tony’s shoulder and he squirms just a bit, nestling himself further into Tony’s hold. Tony has never really been one for prolonged contact, but he finds himself resting his head against Peter’s, tightening his arms around Peter’s stomach, relishing the warmth and steady rise and fall as Peter breathes.
This means something, Tony thinks. There’s a reason you don’t mind when it’s Peter. Tell him.
Tony swallows, anxiety ripping through him.
It’d be weird, wouldn’t it? To just say it. For all Tony knows, Peter is accepting their pseudo-cuddling simply because he’s tired and his back is making it hard for him to sleep.
And besides, Peter probably already knows. It’s been an unspoken thing for months. Tony doesn’t need to say it in so many words.  
Peter shivers lightly against him. Chuckling, Tony reaches out and pulls the blanket he keeps around for this very reason off the back of the couch, tucking it carefully around Peter. Affection is cutting through the hazy, fearful thoughts like a knife.
Tell him.
“I love you,” Tony whispers, his heart in his throat.
Silence greets him. Tony’s stomach twists in nerves and dread. Why wasn’t Peter saying anything? Should Tony take it back? Apologize?
He’s about to disentangle his arms from Peter’s and leave when he hears a soft snore.
Closing his eyes as he laughs to himself, Tony buries his smile in Peter’s shoulder.
“Yeah. I love you.” Even if you fall asleep when I’m trying to tell you.  
 iv.
Tony’s hands are covered in ash.
When Peter died, Tony didn’t say anything.
He didn’t say anything.
“Peter,” he gasps, hates that he’s addressing smeared dirt coated on bloody skin.
“Peter.” A tear drips onto his hand and he sucks in a breath. His heart is on his palms—he’s afraid it will wash off and disappear forever.
“I love you,” he confesses to the ether, the unreachable nothingness Peter is lost to. The red dirt shifts at his feet and there is no answer.
“It’s time to leave,” the daughter of Thanos says.  She hauls him to his feet and he sways.
“I never told him I love him.”
“There’s no use telling him now,” she hisses. “He’s dead.”
Tony flinches, his lungs failing to pull in air.
The woman pauses, her mechanical face shifting like a glitch.
“Do you? Love him?” she asks, her robotic voice almost quiet, and Tony blinks in shock. He nods. He tries to say yes but no sound comes out. “Then you are better than my father.”
She turns away, leaving Tony to catch up.
“I will help you save him. So you can tell him.”
v. 
The first thing Tony tells himself he’ll do when Peter is once again alive and in his arms is finally tell the kid that Tony loves him more than he thought he was capable of loving anyone.
The first thing he actually does is pass out.
When he wakes up, ripping the IVs and oxygen mask off without a thought, he stumbles toward the couch Peter is sleeping on in the corner of the room, his vision tunneling until all he can see is Peter’s chest rising and falling.
He wants to shake him awake, wants to tug him into his lap and feel his heartbeat under his palms, a constant reminder that Peter is alive alivealivealive.
Instead, he kneels on the floor next to him. He traces cold fingers over the delicate bones of Peter’s hand, the one that partially hangs over the couch cushion.
“I love you,” he breathes.
He presses Peter’s hand to his cheek.
“I love you.”
He leans his head against the couch cushion, watching Peter’s face, lax with sleep. He tries to memorize the way his eyelashes lay over his cheeks, the freckles across the bridge of his nose, the exact curve of his jaw.
“I love you,” Tony whispers, his voice breaking.
He stays until a random nurse finds him and forces him back to bed.
 i.
Tony isn’t sure why they’re playing chess, other than that Peter had found the old set while digging through a closet and started setting it up. Tony didn’t even know they had a chess set, suspects it’s Steve’s, from the War judging by how cheap and beat up it is.
“So this should probably be in the Smithsonian, is what you’re saying,” Peter says when Tony tells him that.
“Probably,” Tony admits. Peter doesn’t stop setting up pieces, though, so Tony just sits down across from him.
He’s not very good at chess, never taken the time to practice, though he’s delighted to learn that Peter used to be on his junior high chess team.
“I’ve forgotten everything, though,” Peter mutters, glaring at his white pieces scattered over the board.
Tony moves his rook a couple spaces forward, only realizing after he does so that it opens up his queen to Peter’s knight.
Ah, well. He’s already losing. He sits back, content to watch Peter think.
It’s January and the kid is bundled up in Tony’s MIT sweater with a blanket draped around his shoulders like a cape. He bites his lip while he considers his options, his eyes bright and intelligent.
The rushing warmth in Tony’s chest is familiar by now. He looks back down at the board, staring at his doomed queen.
He’s tired of fighting it. Tired of overthinking it and feeling guilty.
“Peter,” he says. Peter hums.
Tony doesn’t look up at him, just watches as Peter’s hand hovers over the bishop that will capture his piece.
“I love you.”
There’s a beat, and then Peter’s voice, “If you think that’s going to distract me from taking your queen,” he says, knocking the black piece over with a flourish, “you’re wrong.”
Tony huffs a laugh, rolling his eyes a little.
“That’s not why I said it, but it would have been a nice bonus.”
Tony finally dares to glance up at Peter, is happy to find a content smile playing at the edges of his mouth, his cheeks lightly flushed as if he’s pleasantly embarrassed.
Biting the inside of his cheek so his own smile won’t be visible, Tony pulls his bishop back toward his king.
Peter plays again, a quick decisive action. Tony considers his next move—the kid left his queenside castle open, but Tony’s trying to predict if it’s a trap or not. He’s just about to reach for his piece when Peter speaks.
“Tony,” he murmurs, voice low and warm.
Tony looks up, meets Peter’s eyes.
Peter beams at him.
“I love you, too.”  
And Tony melts. His heart is beating harder, his entire stomach erupting in ecstatic butterflies. A film of tears blurs his vision, and in an effort to distract Peter so he doesn’t see them, Tony quickly grabs a black pawn, moving it its designated space forward.
It isn’t until a moment later, after he’s blinked the tears away and can see the board again, that he remembers the undefended castle.
“Oh my gosh!”
Peter erupts into peals of laughter at Tony’s exclamation. Tony drops his forehead into his palm, exasperated at himself.
When he looks back up at Peter, the kid is grinning at him.
“That’s not why I said it,” Peter says, a laugh audible in his voice, “but it was a nice bonus.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Tony grouses fondly, shaking his head at his own idiocy, but his smile gives away how little he actually cares about the game.
As he watches Peter quickly put Tony into checkmate, all he can think about is that’s not why I said it. Peter said it cause he meant it.
And Tony meant it, too. More than anything he’s ever said before.
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unholyhelbig · 6 years
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Prompt- Beca is a vet and has been called in to watch over and take care of an injured wolf. But the next morning, she's surprised and confused as to why is there a red-headed woman in the place of where the wolf was. (Chloe is a werewolf)
A/N: I went a little too far with this one. But when don’t I? Let me know if you want a part two. 
It was abnormal to get a phone call in the middle of a winter night. Snow had just begun to fall a few hours earlier, coating the hard ground with a thin layer of white that the street lamps flashed against at the right angle. It kept Beca’s hardwood floors cold as she placed her feet against them, cringing slightly as her bare feet got met with a blast of frozen edge.
“Hello?” She spoke, groggily as she ran her hand through her tangled hair. “A what?”  
A wolf. That’s what her assistant had just said to her. Or at least that’s what Beca thought she heard. She still had a thick haze over her mind, eyes blinking against the darkness as they adjusted enough for her to make out the wobbly shadows of her dresser and nightstand. This was California. There weren’t any wolves in California. Coyote’s- maybe. But not in this suburban part of town.
It brought an unusual excitement to her, her pulse picking up as she flicked on the desk lamp to her side. Her heartbeat picked up against her chest. In a cruel way of thinking, this was captivating. Ever since she had the chance to start her own veterinary practice in the quells of the West Coast she had seen nothing more than canine’s and cats, which she still enjoyed treating, but even the occasional bird got her excited for something different.
“Yeah, no” She stood, eyes flashing towards the clock. It was nearly 3am. “That’s what I thought you said. Where is she now?”
Her office. Great.
Granted the old man who brought her in didn’t think a  half a mammoth sized wolf would cause a dent in his hood- something made very clear by the way he was mumbling in the background of the car. He spoke about going to the city about the damages. There was no way in hell that he was paying for the thousand-dollar Vet bill for a wolf. As he put it very nicely.
Beca instructed her assistant to keep the man as calm as possible and continue to monitor the vitals of the large animal before informing her not to call the control officers. A wild animal was different than the domestic dogs they saw on everyday occasions- but even she knew they would act with rash decision and quickly muzzle the animal before putting it down without even considering the possibility of survival.
She begrudgingly shivered against a pair of black sweatpants and a sweatshirt that she had laying around. It would have to do against the weather for right now, the girl not having the pension to deal with a heavy winter coat on a night like this.
Despite her eagerness, to her practice, she knew the roads were icy and her truck couldn’t’ quite take a spin-out. So, she took her time getting down the suburban streets- all the houses the same; dark and unsettled. There was a tire swing here and there, and maybe a toy car that was left out of the garage in an act of laziness. But they were still designed with the same black shutters and honey-colored paint.
The lights were on in the exam room when she pulled up to the large brick building with the illuminated sign; Mitchell & Posen Animal Hospital. She shook her head at the idea, not wanting to go with a cheesy name like Tags and wags. (Which was probably the name of another office downtown.)
A red truck with a clearly busted headlight and a crumpled hood was one of the only other cars in the lot. Beca saw the breath of the old man before she recognized his frame and the slowly lifting and falling of a burning cigarette. She held her breath, shutting off her own car before stepping onto the icy walkway.
“You’re the vet?” He asked, voice harsher than the one she heard on the phone.
Her assistant seemed to have given up on actual human contact and focused all her attention on the wolf that was inside of the building. Personally, Beca would have done the same. Worried about the possibility of the animal waking up and really doing some damage.
“I am,” she said, “Can I ask you a few questions?”
He seemed taken aback by this. He wanted to yell, his face red from the cold and from the discontent that wracked his twisted features. He scoffed, throwing the cigarette down to the ground before grinding the ashes with the tip of his boot. “I suppose, sweetheart.”
Beca swallowed back the anger in the back of her throat as she lifted her chin slightly at the man. “You hit this thing, so you tell me how fast you were going.”
“I don’t know, bout’ fifty, maybe sixty.” He huffed, “that animal jumped out in front of me. I didn’t’ have time to stop so I slammed the breaks. Didn’t’ do much use in this weather though.”
“I suppose not.”
“I wrote my information down with blondie in there. Like I said, I’m going to the city over this-“
“Where did you hit it?”
He blinked at her dumbly for a few seconds after being cut off. She was sleep riddled, and her fingers tapped restlessly against her thigh as she stood uninterested, but still concerned. “On the corner of sunset and 31st.”
She drew in a careful breath. That was a crowded part of the city, even at this time of night. She found herself somewhat grateful that it was an older man and not some pretentious couple on their way home from the club. At least he had the decency to pick the wolf up and bring her to the only place that advertised emergency care.  
Beca mustered up a thank you and took the man’s contact information before closing and locking her door behind her. She watched him drive out of the lot through the glass door that had frosty lettering on it. Part of her was unthawing as she flexed her fingers and turned towards the exam room.
The first thing she noticed was how careful her assistant was. The girl kept the lights low as if not to disturb a clearly nocturnal animal. One that took up most, if not all, of her metal exam table. The only glow could be seen from two x-ray slabs that shaded the woman in a lowly neon light.
She almost gasped at the sheer size of the animal; she had seen wolves before, but it escaped her just how big they got. The wolf was conscious, but not viable to gain enough strength to move. It was clearly in pain; stomach rising and falling against russet fur with each passing moment.
“I gave her some sedative,” Jessica said, confidently running her fingers over the animal’s fur, she was almost captivated. “She’s been good.”
Good. Her young assistant muttered her words like she had just potty trained a puppy to use something other than a little pad set up in the corner. This was a wild animal, and Beca was wary, sliding on a pair of purple latex gloves as seamlessly as she could with her numb skin.
“She has two shattered ribs and an avulsion right against her left hip. I stopped the bleeding for now, but she might need stitches.”  
Beca nodded reaching behind her as she grasped the stethoscope that hung by the door like a hat after a long day of work. She was beside herself, halting right in front of the large beast; yes, it was a vicious predator that traveled in packs, but right now, all Beca could see was its eyes.
She didn’t say anything, but she couldn’t’ help but notice how human they were. How they scanned her up and down and clouded over in a bout of fear. A sly whimper escaped its throat as Jessica took a slight step back. It was apparent that this was the first reaction she had to anything.
The veterinarian steeled herself as she easily found a clear area to hear the heartbeat. The animal’s fur was coarse, but soft all at once. She took a deep breath, earning a clear eyebrow raise. Again, that was something so human.
“Her heart rate is elevated, but that’s normal considering the situation,” Beca mumbled, pulling back as she moved the instrument from her ears. “How long have you been here?”
She glanced at her assistant, the woman was dressed in long white pants with comical hearts all over them. They looked comfortable, but not enough to keep her warm. She wore an equally stark tank top, hugging into herself as her bag ridden eyes flashed towards her boss. “I don’t know, that man wouldn’t let me call you for at least forty minutes. Maybe an hour.”
“Go home. She’s going to be fine, nothing I can’t handle. I’ll give her some fluids and administer an IV. It’ll bring her heart rate down enough for me to feel comfortable to actually stitch her back leg up.”
“Doctor Mitchell-“
“That wasn’t a suggestion.” She gave her an easy smile “Does she look like a problem to you?”
The wolf stared down the assistant almost like it was a challenge. Those blue eyes looked like they held a grudge against the young woman for poking and prodding at her already broken frame.
“I suppose not.” Jessica relented. “Seriously call me if you need anything. I’ll be back in a few hours.”
Beca said her goodbye to the woman, having to urge her to climb into her Honda and eventually drive away. She was loyal and Beca appreciated that, but she had no use for a woman that would yawn through a procedure as small as a couple of stitches. She worked silently as she changed her gloves and worked at preparing an IV.
She could tell that this animal didn’t like needles (Who did?). She stiffened under Beca’s gentle touch, but the woman found herself smoothing her hand over the animal’s large back, easing the instrument in much to the wolf’s dismay.
“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen.” She mumbled to her, earning a huff. And did she just roll her eyes? “You just got hit by a car. You can survive a little needle.”
The stitches weren’t as disastrous, the fluids working in tune with the IV to calm the wolf down into a placid state. Her breathing was slow, and the auburn-colored animal seemed to be falling asleep. It was an easy fix once the blood had stopped flowing.
After about an hour of monitoring the wolf and paying close attention to how the California sun peaked above the clouds in the slightest way against the blinds- she realized that actual staff would start to show up in a bit. She risked it, slipping out of the room for a few seconds to change out of her pajama’s and into an extra pair of scrubs she always kept behind her desk for times like these. They were black, but they did the trick in a pinch.
She was careful as she set up a pot of coffee and darted her eyes to the clock. It was nearly five in the morning. Beca palmed the plain cup of caffeine and shuffled back to the exam room. It couldn’t’ hurt to just stay in there. It’s not like she had other patients to attend to. The whole entire place was empty aside from a small litter of kittens that were under constant surveillance by her partner.
The door creaked open slightly, Beca focused on not letting her overfilled mug scald the edges of her palm. She hadn’t looked up- but she did, her efforts seemed useless. The mug dropped from her fingers and shattered into half a million pieces.
She was gone for ten minutes, but the wolf wasn’t there anymore. The table was far from empty, a young woman, a naked young woman was in the animal’s place. Still asleep against the light that slowly filled the area. Beca flinched at the scalding coffee that splashed up against her legs, breath catching as the stranger began to stir.
The vet had to admit, she was gorgeous, not that she let her eyes stray too much. Her body dipped and curved as her fingers curled up against her mid-section. Beca’s mouth was dry as she caught glimpse of the IV that was still pushed evenly into her side. The woman shared the same injuries as the large animal that was once in her place- perfect features contorting into pain as her eyes fluttered open; blue and human.
Beca thought her heart had stopped, her back pressed so hard against the door behind her that the doorknob was part of her spine now. Her pulse was strong against her wrist as she picked up her breathing.
“Fuck,” The woman blinked at the light filling her vision, realizing she wasn’t anywhere she knew. She panicked, not by much, her injuries stopping her from springing up, but not from flashing towards the only other noise in the room; Beca. “Fuck!”
“Don’t move,” Beca squeaked out, half because she didn’t’ want the woman any closer, but another part of her entirely worried about the damage she would do to stitches Beca had administered herself. “You just…”
“Got hit by a car, yeah.” The stranger rasped out, she didn’t’ seem the least bit rebuffed about her state of nudity, carefully pulling herself up into a sitting position as she hissed out a breath “I recall you calling me a drama queen.”
“Oh.”
Yeah, that confirmed it. Beca thought she was going mad. The way she had worked herself half to death to get to a place that would allow her to pirate half of her own practice had driven her to complete insanity. If she was seeing things correctly, then the woman in front of her was a thing of myth. Something that would blow down a straw house and chase after a woman in a red coat only to DVR the bachelor beforehand.
“You’ve done a lot for me,” She spoke simply, Beca didn’t interject when the girl stood shakily “But I was wondering if I could trouble you for some clothes. Maybe a blanket.”
“Yeah, dude.” It was a breathy mess.  
Part of her wanted to run the other way, but that wasn’t what her conscious would want her to do. Regardless of if this woman just morphed from beast to human in the span of ten minutes the second, the sun came out, she wasn’t going to send her out onto California’s busy streets without a covering of some sort.
The stranger had successfully pulled the IV from her hand with little to no blood by the time Beca got back. She rubbed the spot simply, trying to ease the sting as she pulled the sweatshirt that Beca had arrived in over her head before knotting the sweatpants over her mid-section.
She had a bit of a lazy smile on her face, a streak of dirt clouding her features as she shifted uneasily. She was goofily adorable, Beca’s heartbeat still pounding unevenly against her throat as she let out a simple breath.
“You’re not going to call animal control, are you?”
“I don’t think so.”  
“What about a psych ward?”
“Only to check myself in.”
This made the girl giggle. The large beast that could have torn her throat out in a single second was laughing as a thin layer of blush clouded her cheeks. “I like you.”
“I’m glad,” Beca found herself letting out a nervous huff of air “you owe me a lot of money. I charge interest.”
“How about we start with a cup of coffee considering you just spilled yours?”
Beca glanced down at the muddy brown stain on the floor. A cup of coffee would be nice, but this woman was just hit by a truck at full speed. There was no way that her sunken in eyes and pale sweaty skin was a side effect of waking up in a human form. “How about we start with getting you home instead. You look dreadful.”
“You know how to make a good first impression, Doctor Mitchell. I didn’t’ think you were a people doctor?”
“You’re not a people,” Beca squinted, eyebrow raised.
She couldn’t tell if that was offensive or not, but the stranger wasn’t deterred in the slightest. Maybe it was a wolf thing, or maybe it was just the gorgeous woman’s personality. But either way, she relented, leaning heavily against the table. Beca could tell that she was keeping up an act, a cold sweat forming closer to her brow. “Your assistant just pulled into the parking lot.” She said in a hushed voice “What are we going to tell her?”
Beca scanned her eyes around the room frantically before she moved quickly around the room as the stranger watched. She scribbled out a note on one of the pads and kept it on the clear counter where she was sure Jessica would see it. She reached down, and piled the larger chunks of the coffee mug into her palm, dumping them into the trash can.
“we’ll go out the back door,” Beca said, somewhat desperate as she pulled open the exam door and pushed her shoulder against it. “It’s right through here-“ She paused, staring back at the woman. “Oh right, car.”
The stranger had scalding hot skin, Beca seeming to melt under it as she wrapped her arm around the girl’s midsection and pulled her closer, trying to keep her up. She smelled earthy and strong, it made Beca’s throat tingle as they reached the cold air against the edge of the brick building.
Beca pressed her fingers against her lips, keeping the stranger quiet as Jessica pushed her keys into the front door. She considered herself lucky for parking so sloppily in the middle of the night. It straddled the side of the building.
“Why are you helping me?” The woman asked in a frantic whisper as Beca resumed her place pulling the girl close.
“Don’t know.”
“How do you know I’m not dangerous?”
Beca leaned her against the side of the truck, fishing for her keys as she panted into the cold morning. Her nose was raw, and her stomach was dropping, but none of that seemed to matter. She could almost smell the blood that was dripping from the now torn stitches on the stranger’s hip.
“I don’t.”  
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sannisideup · 6 years
Text
sweet despair
All it took was one moment for her whole world to shatter to pieces. 
She didn’t want to ever believe nor accept that one person, that he, could affect her so much. She didn’t want to give him the power to destroy her.
It hurt so much. 
She could feel the pain in her chest, like a weight that never refused to leave. She could feel it in every breath, a never-ending agony. 
She still couldn’t face her best friend on account of how similar they both looked. She couldn’t face looking at someone who had red hair that was ruffled just the same because he had taught him to do so. 
She didn’t want to hear his laughter only to find it attached to a different person. He had hurt her, but she still wanted him to stay. 
She didn’t expect that loving someone would hurt so fucking much.
Before Hogwarts, she had spent her childhood watching movies with princes and princesses. Watching happily-ever-afters. She had seen how happy her parents’ marriage was; how great love was. His parents’ love had only further convinced her that love was indeed very real and very beautiful.
Oh, how very wrong she was.
When she had fallen in love with him, she was absolutely taken with his playfulness, the way he refused to take life seriously, the way his smile lit up his eyes, making him look incredibly beautiful. 
When she had fallen in love with him, he had taken her on unimaginable dates; she had never laughed or smiled so much in her entire life. He had shown her the world, in technicolor.
When she had fallen in love with him, he had showered her with gifts. It was nothing over-the-top or expensive. In fact, they were small trinkets made with love rather than wealth. Once he had given her a necklace that was charmed to turn warm whenever he touched the second half of the half-moon.
The necklace had turned ice cold a long time ago.
When she was in love with him, he had treated her with utmost respect and love. He had looked at her like she was the most beautiful woman in the world. He had promised her once, that he would never, ever, ever hurt her, because hurting her hurt him, too.
When she was in love with him, he gave her toe-curling kisses that weakened her knees and brought tears to her eyes. He made her scream in pleasure like no man ever had; he loved her like no one had.
And then he came home with hickeys all over his body.
She had kicked him out at first. 
It was a mistake. She wanted him back, with her. It had only been a month, he would still want her. He would still love her.
She wanted him to stay. He didn’t.
It broke her heart.
She watched the months pass. 
And then one day, he showed up with a blonde girl on his arm, a diamond ring on her left hand. He had a bright smile on his face, his eyes lit up with unadulterated happiness. 
She found the necklace shattered in tiny pieces.
When he had his first child, a little girl with bright, blue eyes, she had felt the air leave her lungs, as if it was her last breath.
She sobbed in the hospital bathroom as her tears splattered onto the tiled floor.
When she found herself watching the father and daughter play on a broom, her little pigtails blowing in the wind, her childish laughter echoing in the air, her heart squeezed with the reminder of a future she had lost. 
She had bought all the children a going away present before they left for Hogwarts for the first time, but she found herself unable to look his daughter in the eye.
When she came back after her second year, her eyes filled with admiration for her, the war heroine, she found herself looking away. 
She couldn’t face his child, if it wasn’t hers, too.
When he was forty-three, his body was ravaged with an incurable disease that left him bed-ridden and magicless. 
She found herself sprawled in the middle of the night at the St. Mungos Medical Library researching his disease. She didn’t know how else she could help without completely losing herself in the process.
When his body was lowered six feet under, her heart was beyond repair.
She finds herself reaching out to his daughter, wanting to see admiration in her eyes again. 
It is finally time to let him go.
One mistake it's all it really takes To take my breath away Go on put the knife in Run away, don't need you anyway Although I wish you'd stay Go on put the knife in
~ sweet despair, cher lloyd
773 words
ok so this angst was a whirlwind of emotions, hoenstly. it’s inspired by the song sweet despair by cher lloyd. as u can see the story quite literally parallels the set of lyrics ive indented up there. 
\also like pls dont find this unhealthy longing & obsession “cute” or “goals”; it’s toxic af. no one should be in lvoe w/ someone for yeaaaars after o.p. has moved like srsly. u should at least try to move in, that’s what’s emotionally healthy but basically this is angst for a reason & i just never want to become dependent on anyone so much so that i start to lose myself just ufck no
IF YOU’RE HURTING THE WAY HERMIONE IS IN THIS FIC, TALK TO A FRIEND/FAMILY MEMBER/THERAPIST DON’T TORTURE YOURSELF I MEAN SERIOUSLY. YOU DESERVE THE BEST THIGNS IN LIFE!! :)
& that seriousness aside, whyst the fuck did fremione not happen?????
p.s. if u havent heard sweet despair by cher lloyd go listen to it, homie. aite thanks (also i rly dont use the word homie like that but i felt like it so whatevs)
p.p.s. i couldn’t have ever written something this good if it wasn’t for @anievul who i consider an angst-reading queen. like legit, she has read so much angst, and is super picky about it, so like she’s the bomb.com. thank u for all ur help!! <3
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astral-writings · 7 years
Text
Forgetful (part 3)
Word Count: 1,633 Reader Gender: Female I guess idk Warnings: Hospital, reader injuries Love Interest: Pietro Maximoff Note: This might bring a close to the Forgetful series, but idk ‘causeI haven’t written it yet. I’ll write more here once I’ve finished writing this part see you in a jiffy.
It seems I have done a 50/50, but I felt like this was a solid ending.
Tags: @ladywolfdemon @iamvvanda @hownottodie101 @aweways @kkrissy12
|| Part 1 || Part 2 ||
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The soft, steady beeping of the heart monitor gave Pietro comfort, yet it sent him into panic all the same. While the heart monitor gave a reassurance that she was still alive for the moment, it didn’t promise that she’d be alive in the future. So, here he sat for the past two weeks, sitting by her bedside. The only time he’d leave is when he’d need to use the restroom. He’d only eat when forced; which meant Wanda all but shoving food down his throat whenever she came to visit.
The rest of the team came to visit when they could, and while they worried for her, they also worried for Pietro. There were many mixed emotions going around the team; some blamed him, others felt bad. Tony was a main party in those that blamed Pietro, and he made sure to let Pietro know whenever he was in the vicinity. Bucky was on the fence on how to feel about Pietro, Bucky was more concerned about her well being than anything else. Steve was similar, but still harbored feelings of blame on Pietro.
Nat was beyond pissed at the both of them, but her anger for the figure in the hospital bed was matched by her endless worry. Clint would bring her cards every day, and they got a little more ridiculous as the days passed. Bruce was still missing, but he had sent her favourite flowers and a simple note that said ‘Don’t die, friend’. Thor came back down to check on things a few days ago, and was very distressed when he was told. Needless to say, Pietro got an earful from him.
Even without the entire team letting him know exactly how they felt, he was still in daily panic. Even more so than usual, there’s been 3 near-deaths in time she’s been here. Pietro completely blames himself for everything, and the weight of guilt keeps him from moving from his chair. Guilt and love, that’s what keeps him here. Some time ago he came to the conclusion that her being in the hospital is some twisted way of making him pay for what he did. That’s why he never argues when Tony goes off on him.
Between him losing himself in his guilt-ridden thoughts, and him crying his eyes out, he talks to her. The topic will vary occasionally, but it mainly stays with him either apologizing, making promises, begging for her to come back, or vocalizing memories. Right now he had his head in her blanketed lap, his hand in hers. They had, at one point, her hooked up to a breathing machine when she had first got here. To say that she had sustained severe injuries would be an understatement.
The doctor himself even said that it was a miracle that she was even still alive right now. There was injury to her organs, hips, ribs, neck, arms, and one of her legs. There was also a large portion of skin damaged on her back, and it’d still be a bit longer before that healed.  Her neck was almost fully healed, as well as her arm. Today Tony was in the room along with Pietro, which had become a norm. Tony was with her almost as much as he was, the difference being that Tony wasn’t the one that put her in here.
“You did this, you know.” Tony said, beginning to start another argument.
“I am well aware.” Pietro clarified for the millionth time.
“Great, because I’m here to remind you. Think of me as you own personal alarm clock.” Tony said.
“Will do.” Pietro said with a sigh.
“Not like you have much of a choice here, anyway.” Tony said matter-of-factly.
“I realize this, Tony.” Pietro spoke, closing his eyes in frustration.
“You better, because she’s going to go off like a firecracker when she wakes up,” Tony continued, “Like the Fourth of July of doom.”
“Looking forward to it.” Pietro spoke, a little more passively this time.
“Will you two-ow-shut the-ow- fuck up-ow.” A familiar voice said, clearly irritated. 
“Y/n!” Tony and Pietro said at the same time.
“Wow, can we not talk so loud, I have the world’s biggest headache.” Y/n said as Tony went to notify a nurse.
God, I’m gone for two seconds, and they’re already at each others throats. They’re both secretly children, I’m almost positive. Wait, why the fuck am I in this room? This is not my bedroom. This is not the Tower. This is not anywhere that I’m familiar, it’s too fucking white and bright to be any room that I’d ever go in. I looked down, now noticing that I had on a hospital gown on instead of my normal clothes.
I looked up, glaring at the person closest to me (and the only person in the room), Pietro. He, surprisingly, looked like the worst thing in the world. He had clearly not been sleeping properly, to say the least. His eyes were red, like he had just been crying. He was also holding one of my hands. another thing that I just noticed. I would’ve snatched it away, but the sight of a needle in my arm caught my attention instead.
“Don’t even think about it,” Pietro said immediately, covering the IV with his hand, “It’s suppossed to help you.”
“Oh yeah, sure, just like you helped me?” I questioned harshly, still glaring.
“I’m sorry.” Pietro said and my glare softened a bit.
“Yeah, well, sorry doesn’t get me out of this fucking hospital.” I stated simply.
Tony came back into the room, the doctor following shortly after. The doctor greeted me politely, but I just grumbled in response. I fucking hate hospitals, I want to stab someone. I huffed as the doctor started explaining everything, and small flashbacks of the incident began to pass through my mind. The sound of the glass shattering underneath me. The feeling of the tires rolling over my stomach.
The headlights of the vehicles burning holes into my eyes. My skin tearing on the metal of the vehicles. The sound of sirens that was barely audible to my ears. The sight of pure darkness, consuming me with blinding pain. The gentle, yet distressed, touch of a hand on my cheek. ‘Please, please, stay with me,’ rang through my mind. At the time, I didn’t know who it was, but now that I can think a bit clearer, it was obviously Pietro.
The doctor took his leave, telling me he’d be back soon with test results. Tony then announced that he was going to head to the Tower and tell everyone that I was awake and alive. Silence ensued between Pietro and I, neither of us bothering to say a word. For different reasons, I’m sure. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to scream, just for everything that’s happened. Another part of me just wanted to be hugged at the realization of me almost dying.
“Listen, I know you probably don’t even want to see me right now, but I’m so sorry, Y/n.” Pietro said.
“Hey-” I began.
“It’s all my fault, I know. If I hadn’t asked you to come and meet me, and if I hadn’t done what I did, you wouldn’t be like this.” Pietro continued, referencing my hospital-ridden state.
“Well-” I began again.
“And I know that me asking for forgiveness is selfish, and probably too soon, but I’m just glad that you’re okay.” Pietro said, and I raised my brows, “I mean, I know you’re not healed yet, but you don’t know how happy it made me to see you awake. You could’ve ended up in a permanent coma, or worse, because of me.” He continued.
“Pietro-”I began.
“I know that this is karma getting back at me for what I did, but can you please forgive me?” Pietro asked again.
Well, if you’d let me talk, you big blue idiot.
“Sorry.” He apologized again.
Whoops, didn’t mean to say that one out loud.
I looked at him for a moment, seriously considering what he had said. He really did look awful, and remorse was very clear on his face. He looked like he’d simply die on the spot if I uttered the opposite. While I was still very angry at him, a small part of me wanted to forgive him. I don’t think we could go back to being a couple, at least not so soon. So, forgiveness at friend status is now up for debate.
I suppose I forgive him for putting me in here, it wasn’t directly his fault. It certainly wasn’t mine either, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to just take it out on him. I sighed deeply, his grip on my hand tightening slightly. Maybe it’d be okay if we were just friends? Like, friends who met on the first day of school and are only talking to one another because they don’t know anybody else. It’s oddly specific, but there we go.
“Fine, but you’re never to speak to me again.” I stated simply.
“O-Oh, okay, that’s fine, I’m just really happy you forgave me.” He started, “I guess I’ll just go then, I’m sorry, I’ll get out of your hair-”
“Pietro, Pietro,” I began frantically, “I was just kidding.”
“Oh,” He sighed deeply, a little relieved.
“I forgive you, but I don’t think we can go back to what we were,” I began, “At least not so quickly, but we can be friends.”
“Thank you, thank you so much.” He said, and it appeared as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulder.
“You’re welcome,” I said, “Now get over here and give me a very platonic hug, reality hit me in the face like 10 minutes ago.”
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jzogymti-blog · 5 years
Text
illinois department of insurance in chicago
illinois department of insurance in chicago
illinois department of insurance in chicago
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