#i wasn't in the best headspace when i was making it and i sort of had to remember how to photoshop

[junkissed]

late night talking

member — minghao x f reader genre — angst, idk if there's enough fluff for this to count as hurt/comfort but the ending is sort of happy ? word count — 2.1k synopsis — the best and worst conversations always happen at 1am. warnings — reader is very drunk and very very insecure, lots of crying, lots of internal back & forth, unreliable narrator moment, refers to reader as girlfriend/my girl/etc., idk if i'm missing anything else but lmk if i am notes — this is an old fic that i never really intended to be released but @onlymingyus and @wooahaeproductions convinced me otherwise. sorry this is not at all what i normally post lmao i swear don't write like this often i just found this in my drive that i wrote when i was in a very shitty mood. we will return to your regularly scheduled smut programming soon i promise lmao! leave a comment in the reblogs or send an ask if you enjoyed this? idk i am nervous to post this pls don't perceive me too much

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you're ugly when you're drunk.

“hao?”

your voice rings throughout the house, the sound shaky and quieter than usual.

he wouldn't even have known you were home if he hadn't heard your friend's car pull up minutes ago, bright headlights flashing through the bedroom window. he wouldn't have known, if he wasn't already worried sick at you being gone so long and consuming an unknown amount of alcohol. he should've been there with you, but too much was riding on the deadline for his students’ grades that had to be finished before midnight. any other day he would've been by your side the whole night, a steady hand on your arm for balance and a sharp eye on your glass just in case. he loves playing the role of protective boyfriend, letting his girl do whatever she wants because he'll always be there to watch over her. but he couldn't do that tonight, and it tears him up inside.

he hears your trudging footsteps down the hall, soft footfalls signalling your approach as you drag yourself towards the room. he pretends not to hear; he doesn't want to make a big deal out of this and embarrass you.

“you're home early,” he comments with a chuckle, but his sarcasm is lost on you in this state. it's well after 1 in the morning, and you tilt your head in confusion at his words, brows deeply furrowed.

“what— are you working on?” you ask after a moment, focusing all your energy on not stumbling over your words. 

you know how drunk you are, he knows how drunk you are, but even now you're still putting on an act. you hate feeling stupid in front of him, and right now you couldn't feel any stupider. the worst part is that you feel as stupid when you're sober as you do right now, but you couldn't tell him that.

he pauses, choosing his next words carefully as he surveys your current state. he can't risk hurting your feelings, especially in such a vulnerable headspace.

“grading finals,” he decides on. not too detailed to confuse you, not too simplified to make you feel stupid, just enough to make you feel involved.

distantly you feel your eyes welling up with tears. you don't know why, but at the same time you know exactly why. you're never good enough compared to him, not when you come home drunk in the dead of night, and he never does. not when he's so good at everything he touches, so talented and beautiful and perfect, and you're… not. 

he deserves someone at his level, an artistic genius like him who can help him with his work. someone with an eye for his paintings, someone smarter, someone prettier, someone who can keep him on his toes. someone who won't drag him down and burden him with your obvious lack of skill and your quality of being so embarrassingly lightweight that you need to be supervised at all times. 

“i’m sorry,” you finally muster. you can't find the words to explain what you mean, but you hope he's able to sense your sincerity.

“what for?” he asks. his voice is softer now. 

you hate it when he uses that voice. he's talking down to you, talking like you're a child and he has to explain everything to you in the gentlest way possible because you aren't capable of handling the truth.

you love when he uses that voice. sometimes he can be so blunt it almost feels isolating, but when he talks to you like you're a child in that sweet, gentle, kind tone you feel like everything will be okay. he can soften himself for you, drop his straightforward persona around you and be the tender man you know he's capable of being. 

you lift your eyes to his computer screen and the feelings you've been struggling with float back into view. “i'm sorry,” you repeat, voice cracking despite the effort you put in to stop it from breaking. it's all you can say.

you don't notice when the tears overflow, bursting from your eyes without a sound. you're embarrassing, you're an idiot, standing in front of him with red eyes and hunched shoulders as tears stream down your cheeks. you don't even feel them fall.

if he knows what you're trying to convey with your tearful apologies, he doesn't mention it. 

of course he knows, how could he not when he's so astute with everything? you suck at keeping things to yourself. 

of course he doesn't know, why would he take the time out of his busy schedule to care about how you're feeling? you're not worth his energy.

the moment seems to stretch on for eternity, standing in front of him. you don't know why you started dating in the first place; he doesn't have the time, you're too annoying, too clingy, too affectionate. standing in front of him, you don't feel anything. you just feel cold.

you turn to drag yourself out of the room, deciding that you've embarrassed yourself enough by now. you don't know where you'll go or what you're doing, probably to pour yourself a glass of water and try to sleep on the couch. obviously he won't want you to sleep in his bed when you’re like this, why should he? you aren’t deserving of that privilege.

but then you feel a warm hand on your wrist, gently tugging you back towards him. you lose your balance, stumble over your feet, fall onto his lap. you're mortified, barely able to get another “sorry” out before trying to stand again on wobbly legs. you shouldn't be here. you're so aware, so painfully conscious of your weight on him, every ounce of energy you have left fighting to keep yourself from annoying him even further but it feels like it's too late. everything that comes from you is too little, too late.

“no,” he says. his tone is still that soft, sweet sound, but his voice is firm and you don't try to get up again. “we can talk tomorrow,” he says as he begins to run his hand along your back, and you hate yourself for the way you instantly melt at his touch. “just… relax. calm down.”

your body slouches against his chest, feeling like a puddle on his lap, head tucked into the crook of his neck whether you meant to or not. your legs dangle limply off his lap, arms wrapped loosely around the back of his chair as he holds you.

“it's okay,” he says simply, still stroking his hand along your back in small, soothing motions. “it's okay.” he repeats the words, maybe to convince himself but mostly to convince you from having a breakdown. even now when he's treating you so delicately, your brain won't let you rest: he's probably scared of you, he doesn't mean it, he doesn't mean any of it and he's using whatever means necessary to stop you from turning hysterical or even violent. of course it doesn't mean anything to him. 

“how much did you drink tonight, baby?” he asks, and you know you should take that as judgmental but you don't have the energy left anymore. you don't note the twinge of concern in his voice, you can't see the look in his eyes as he gazes down at you.

“a little— a lot,” you answer, somewhat truthfully. the real truth is that you lost count. you weren't trying to get drunk, but one turned into two turned into ten and before you even knew what you were doing a car was dropping you off in front of your house.

he shifts his legs for you to sit more comfortably on his lap, and as much as you want to fight it you don't have the strength to. “do you want to go to bed?” he asks gently. “or do you want to stay up with me?”

“don't… want you to go to bed ‘cuz of me,” you mumble against his neck. god, his skin is so soft and warm. you couldn't move your body right now even if you tried. “not your fault.”

“what kind of guy would i be if i didn't take care of my girlfriend when she needs me?” he asks. “i can put you to bed if you want. it's alright. it's late anyway.”

“it's not– your job,” you manage to reply, and his hand on your back stops for a second.

“it is my job,” he says softly. he tucks a piece of hair behind your ear. “i'm sorry if you feel like i haven't done that.”

“please, don't— no sorry,” you choke out as fresh tears prick at your eyes. “it's my fault. i'm sorry. it's my fault.”

he holds you tighter, both arms wrapped around you on his lap now. “it's not your fault,” he says in that same firm but gentle voice. “you haven't done anything wrong at all. it's alright, baby, i promise. you don't have anything to worry about. why are you sorry?”

“i don't know,” you mumble. your hand clutches at his chest unconsciously, balling his t-shirt in your fist. “i dunno. i love you. i dunno.”

“i love you, too,” he says after a beat. the tears, the drunken outburst, he just lets it all happen. without a word of complaint. despite the voices in your head fighting to convince you otherwise, he never says a single negative thing to you.

you know he's not normally like this. with everyone else he's polite, unemotional, reserved. he's never vulnerable. which is why you're so confused right now.

“why?” you slur, still grasping onto hope.

he hums in questioning, nudging you to elaborate.

“why are you like this to me?”

but now he's the one who's confused. “like what?”

you pause, and the room goes quiet for a moment, the only sound your shallow breaths against his chest. “nice.”

for all his knowledge, this time he's actually lost. “why would i not be nice to you?”

“i don't deserve it.”

he shifts again, pulling you closer to his chest as he starts to run his fingers through his hair. “of course you do, baby.”

“you don't deserve me.”

he stops again, this time in shock. “hey. that's not true.”

“is too true,” you say. your eyes are closed and you can't help the frown overtaking your face. “you should have somebody you deserve. it's not me.”

he just sighs, and you feel his chest expand beneath your cheek at the deep breath he takes. “i love you, baby. not anyone else. you'll feel better in the morning, and we can talk then. but i'm not mad at you, okay? there's nothing wrong. everything's okay.”

you try to mimic his sigh, but the angle you're laying at on his chest and the alcohol in your system makes it hard to breathe deeply. 

“do you want to keep sitting with me?” he asks. he knows how much you like the sounds his keyboard makes, the quiet tapping as he enters grades and types comments to his students about things you could never fathom to understand.

your eyes stay closed and your head doesn't move. “yeah,” you murmur softly.

he settles back into his chair, you curled up on his lap. he's not doing much, he's finished the worst of it and now just entering numbers. he glances down at your figure, almost asleep on him, and he feels an ache in his chest. 

every emotion feels amplified to you right now, but if it took getting blackout drunk for you to finally say it then it must've been weighing on you for a long time coming. he wonders how long you've felt like this, felt inadequate compared to him, and it makes him pause. it was never his intention. when you're awake and sober and hopefully not massively hungover, then you can talk, and he can make this right.

he loves the person snuggled against his chest, loves the feeling of you comforted and protected by him, and he'll do anything to make sure you know that. he'll do anything to let you see yourself the way he sees you. above all the worries he has about you, he knows one thing for sure.

you're cute when you're drunk.

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i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[sugawhaaa]

I had to hop in here straight away when I saw that your requests were open bcs istg I am SUCH a horny mess for Kwak Jiseok.

Aight so hear me out, something that personally really turns me on is taking photos of myself in revealing clothing or lingerie, not necessarily for sexting… just like the actual taking of the pictures is really hot for me yk?

So what I’m requesting here is something that has been taking up so much of my headspace that it’s honestly obsessive… and that’s a sexual photoshoot with Jiseok.

He’s the photographer, and he has a bunch of outfits that he wants the reader to wear… and even more poses in mind. Plus, if reader is a well behaved model and gets him the pictures he wants, he might reward her.

hope that makes sense!!

•°~★JISEOK X READER★~°•

High fashion

୭🧷✧˚.ᵎᵎ🎀୭🧷✧˚.୭🧷✧˚.ᵎᵎ🎀୭🧷✧˚.ᵎᵎ🎀୭✧˚.ᵎᵎ

Warnings::SMUT! VULGAR LANGUAGE!

Genre:: oral (f/m rec) fingering, cowgirl, hair pulling, PRAISE, pet names cream pie (don't try this at home) cum-shot, idk if this is relevant but it's mentioned a lot that he has a big cock 💀

Pairing:: dom!Jiseok x sub!fem!reader

A//N:: honestly I've never gotten a request like this before I was quite shocked 😭 I'm not complaining though, I'm happy to step out of my comfort zone and expirement a little bit. I was kinda torn on how I wanted to write this but I'll try my best 💪 also dw as a Gaon biased I can confirm that pretty much anyone who biases him is a down bad whore for him 💀

Songs that inspired this fanfic::

There is a business for everything. You were very well aware of that as a model for specifically...suggestive things. You modeled for all sorts of things. Bathing suits, bras, underwear, lingerie, and even certain sex toys. You had your fair share of acting as well. You were in a very select few porn videos, mainly because the pay was really, really, high. You definitely didn't hate your job. It made you feel good about yourself and comfortable in your own skin. You were heavily praised by fans for being "so brave" but in reality it made you feel good and you wouldn't have it any other way.

One day you were hanging out in your house, like one does, when you received an email from a designer. It was very professional and full of detail but to sum it up, this designer asked you to model their newest lingerie sets for them. You thought about it for a moment and looked at their website. It was full of beautifully designed lingerie and robs. The website itself was very professional with lots of details. It seemed trustworthy and you agreed to work with them.

A few days later you located the shop and went inside. You took a look around at the shop. It was small but filled with lots of items, but it wasn't crowded either. There was plenty of room to move around and look through everything. You noticed a woman at the front desk when she suddenly came up to you.

"Sorry we just closed we'll be open again tomorrow at 10 am if you'd like to come back," she smiled. She clearly didn't know that you were here to model so she mustn't be the designer. You took off your sunglasses and looked at her warmly.

"I'm actually a model. This is my first time modeling for this shop," you explained and the woman smiled.

"Oh, my apologies! Let me call him in," she smiled and went back to the desk. Call him over? Him?? You thought to yourself as you walked over to her desk. She pressed a button and spoke into a small mic. "There's a model waiting to see you," she said and the doors behind her opened moments after. A young man came rushing out. He had dark red hair and seemed like he was in his early to mid-twenties. He had a measuring tape around his neck and a pencil tucked above his ear.

"Ah, you must be Y/N~!" He smiled and came over to you, extending his hand. You shook his hand as your heart jumped out of your chest. "So I have a lot to go over with you. If you don't mind why don't we go into my workshop?" He gestured to the doors and you blushed.

"S-Sure, that sounds good," you smiled and followed him to his workshop.

"Sorry for the mess I hardly ever have time to clean around here with so many requests," he chuckles as you look around the room. Shelves filled with all kinds of fabrics and lace. Sketches of designs were tacked to a Bristol board near his main desk area. "I have quite a few different sets if you'd want to choose which ones to wear or anything," he said as he pulled out a large tablet and starting going through photos he took of all the sets.

"Don't worry about it. I'm comfortable wearing whatever you want me to," you smiled and he looked up at you with curious eyes.

"As long as you're sure..." he looked at you one last time before confirming that's truly what you wanted. "Okay then, I'll pick them out for you," he went over to a clothing rack he had and picked out a few for you. He held them up and eyed them to your body portions. "Do you know what size you are?" He said as he continued to sort through his designs.

"Yeah I'm about a Y/S, (your/size)" You shrugged. He nodded and swapped out a few of the designs for smaller or bigger ones.

After getting all the outfits chosen and the sets he wanted for you he let you try on your first outfit. You went into the fitting room while he adjusted the set. You looked at the lingerie he presented to you. Of course it was red and you looked at yourself in the mirror for a while adjusting it and admiring yourself. Jiseok then knocked on the door.

"Hey, are you dressed?" He asked softly. You got drawn back to reality from your day dreaming.

"Oh yes," you chuckled before opening the door. Jiseok had his professional camera around his neck as he held it with one hand. He looked you up and down and his face turned a soft pink.

"So I was thinking," he said before clearing his throat. "This bathroom is really nice," he smiled and you looked confused.

"Yes...it is," you said awkwardly.

"I think it'd be good to take a few photos in here!" He smiled and closed the door behind himself as he walked in. You nodded and waited for him to tell you what to do. "Could you lean back against the counter and kind of drop your head back to let your hair flow down," he asked as he gestured to the counter. You did as he suggested. He crouched down and held up his camera. He leaned forward and adjusted your leg slightly.

The brief second of contact was oddly exhilarating. You continued to pose as you heard the sound of the camera click. He moved to a different angle and took two more photos. "Okay now can you stand up straight and put your left hand across your upper chest," he said as he moved around to the front of you. You did as he said. "Tilt your head a bit to the left, like away from me," he said as he kept his eyes on your body. You did as he said and he smiled. "Perfect, just like that," he said as he snapped a few photos before squatting again to get some lower ones. "Okay now look over at the wall," he pointed to the left as he kept looking at you through the camera. "Perfect~" he prolonged the "per" in his words.

This process continued a few times in various locations with various outfits. You were in the washroom changing outfits again when you looked out the window to see it was dark. You continue to change into a beautiful white set. There was a little robe that went over top of it and you just fell in love with the design. You walk out confidently and Jiseok smiles.

"This one's absolutely gorgeous," you said as you looked at the silky fabric flowing off your body.

"Thank you," he smiled with red cheeks. "I just finished that design yesterday I believe," he looked you up and down before biting his lip slightly. "Alright, ahem, for this one we're gonna use the bed,"

You nodded and sat down on the bed. "Okay, can you go on your knees and sit down, putting your legs in a W shape?" He asked as he adjusted the camera lens. You nodded and did as he said. "Now lean back and spread your legs a bit more," you followed his instructions and watched him stay focused on his work. You bit your lip as you watched him. "Good girl," he said in a low voice and your heart skipped a beat.

Was that meant to be sensual or not?

You asked yourself. You remained focused and continued to hold your pose. "Okay now look to your right just a little bit," he moved his finger to the right as he looked into the camera. "Perfect. Stay just like that," he smiled and took a few photos. "Alright very good. Now lay back a bit more and cross your right leg over your left thigh," he said as he stood up.

You followed his directions and posed accordingly. He approached you and moved the robe a bit to expose more of your ass. You had to hold in your cheeky smile. "Relax," he said softly.

"R-Right," you blushed and composed yourself. He brushed back some of your hair to expose more of your skin and you felt your heart skip a beat.

"Perfect," he smiled and took a photo. "Now take a nice, slow deep breath for me," he said softly and you did as he asked. You took a deep breath in and heard the sound of the camera clicking. Then you let your breath out, and he took a few more photos. "Thank you, that was excellent," he smiled as he stood up and let his camera hang. He sat on the edge of the bed and you sat up.

"Your designs are beautiful, it was truly an honor to model for you," you smiled and leaned in closer to him. You looked down at his veiny hands and you blushed before instantly looking back up at him. He followed your gaze with a sly grin.

"You seemed to be looking at my hands a lot," he smiled as he leaned closer to you as well.

"Y-Yeah, I just have a thing for hands," you say before thinking. You pause and realize how out of pocket you must sound. He chuckled slightly. "No, no, that's not what I mean, I mean like..." you blushed and he smiled.

"If you haven't noticed, I have a thing for lingerie," Jiseok smirked and you looked at him attentively. "And elegant women, women that know they're worth yet sometimes still shy, women who model. Or you could say I have a thing for you," he smiled cheekily as he leaned closer. He twirled your hair around his finger as you looked at him with a flushed face. "Tell me, do you just have a thing for my hands or is there more?" He leaned in for a kiss but waited for you to give in. You leaned in and kissed him, he put his hands in your hair. You put your hands around the back of his neck and leaned back. You fell to the bed and he pinned you to it.

"I have a thing for guys with the name Kwak Jiseok," you smiled and he chuckled. He slid one of his hands up your body, tracing the stitch bands around your thighs and hips. He kissed between your collarbones softly. You leaned your head back to give him more access to your neck and chest.

"I'm so addicted to you," he grinned before kissing your neck and sucking on the skin. You inch your hips up to hit Jiseoks. His body jerks slightly from the sudden contact against his erection straining against his pants. He lets go of your skin from his lips and his head falls down. The roots of his hair being the only thing you can see. His hands continue to roam around your body as he kisses down your chest and stomach, just to the waistband of your panties. He looks up at you with hooded eyes.

You extend your hand down to run your fingers through his dark hair. He pressed the flat of his tongue against your clothed clit. You jumped and your legs inched closer to each other. Jiseok smirked and brought his hands down to your hips. He pulled off your panties, leaving them on the corner of the bed as he indulged in your pussy. He dived his head down in between your folds and slurped all your slickness.

The lewd sounds echoed in the empty studio. Your chest heaved at the pleasure coursing through your body.

"Yes," you moaned softly as you grab his head to steady yourself. His tongue flicks your clit as his hands claw at the outside of your thighs. He buries his face in your pussy. You arch your back, bucking your hips into his jaw. You can feel him smirk against your aching core. He pulls back to breathe for a minute.

"You taste so fucking good," he says before licking his lips. His plump lips wet from your juices. The tip of his nose and chin glistening. He leans back down to continue his meal. He takes another long lick up your folds and you can't keep your loud moans in. He begins to circle his tongue around the lips of your pussy as his fingers tease your entrance. His nose presses against your clit, creating an insane amount of stimulation. It's no doubt that this isn't his first rodeo. His techniques were sending sparks throughout your entire body.

The sounds of him slurping up your juices ring in your ears as you feel your climax approaching you quickly. "J-Jiseok, I'm close," you manage to whimper out between loud moans and intense gasps for air. Jiseok just continued to eat you out like you were his last meal. You grabbed his hair in a tight fist as your legs shake, threatening to close and lock around his head. "Jiseok!" You call out his name as flicks your clit mercilessly. You come undone beneath him. Your legs locking around his head as he licks up all of your cum.

Once you come down from your high you open your legs. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to, it was like a reflex," you apologize but Jiseok cuts you off.

"Shh, shh," he shakes his head. You pause and watch him attentively. He sticks his tongue out and runs his index and middle finger down the outside of his tongue. His fingers glistening from your cum. You blush and feel your walls tighten around nothing from the excitement of his flirtatious action. You bite your lip. "You were such a good little girl," he cooes as he leans over top of you. You see his shirt covered in miscellaneous liquids. He starts unbuttoning his shirt as he sits on his knees.

He throws his shirt aside and you admire his toned body. You extend a hand out to run along his abdomen. His skin is so soft and smooth. You look up at him to see a playful grin on his lips. You travel your hand down to his waistband tugging on it lightly.

"You want a turn now?" He says in a creamy low voice that makes the butterflies in your stomach fly south. You nod softly and he lets out a little sigh. He unbuttons his dress pants and takes them off along with his boxers, finally freeing his member.

He lays back on the bed and you instantly crawl beside him, eager to play with his cock. You can't help but admire the way it stands against his stomach. You grab him from the base and take one long lick up his length. A soft moan escapes his lips as his body jerks lightly. "Good girl," he says as he brushes back your [H/L] hair. You look at his erection worriedly. You hesitantly open your mouth and approach his tip. "If you don't want to baby you don't have to," he says softly, misenturpitating your hesitation.

"No, no I want to. I'm just not sure if I can't fit it all in my mouth," you chuckle with an embarrassed smile.

"Don't worry about fitting it all, that's what your hands are for doll," he smiles as he plays with your hair. You nod and put your lips around him. He groans loudly, seething between his teeth. "Fuck, baby," he grunts as he holds your hair in a messy ponytail. You hold the bottom of his length, rotating your hand from extra stimulation. "Good girl, just like that," he praises, knowing you're trying your best. You Bob your head slowly adjusting to his size.

You roll your tongue around as you stuff him in your mouth. He grunts lowly and you can see him trying to keep his hips from bucking into your mouth. He's trying not to push you past your comfort zone but he's also losing it. "You're doing so good," he continues to praise as he plays with your hair. His praise encourages you to take a little bit more of him in your mouth. You begin to Bob your head faster from the encouragement.

"Yes!" He moans loudly his hips ever so slightly bucking up. "Fuck, I'm trying so hard baby but you're making me go crazy," he admits as he holds your head. You rub the tip of his cock on the inside of your cheek as you continue to suck him off. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth and both of you know he's just about to go over the edge. "I'm gonna cum!" He moans and you slip him off of your lips, his cum squirting up into your face.

His cum drips down from your eyebrows to your chin. He lets go of your hair as he pants heavily. You lick up his length to taste every drop of his sweetness.

"You're so hot," he says in a low raspy voice. He suddenly picks you up by your hips and holds you just above his tip. "Are you ready for this?" Jiseok asks in a soft voice.

You nod "Yes," you bite your lip eagerly.

"Are you sure?" He asks one more time to be sure. You nod vigorously and he finally lets go of your hips. You slowly sink onto him, his cock stretching you perfectly. You throw your head back as you let out a loud moan. "You're s-so tight," he groans as he holds your hips again. You fully sit down on his length and take a moment to adjust to him.

You slowly start to roll your hips on him. You feel his tip hit so deep inside you. You clench around him as your body jolts forward in pleasure, your semen-covered hand over your mouth. Jiseok reaches up to you with shaking hands. "I want to hear you," he grunts and you put your hand down. You start to get used to his size and start to slowly rise up and down on his cock. He swears he can see stars from the way you move on him.

He grips your hips harshly before you start bouncing on him. The sound of your skin colliding rings in your ears. You watch as his chest heaves. He extends a hand up to your tits which are currently bouncing with your pace. He slides his fingertips under the fabric he used only a week ago. He never could've guessed he'd be here now.

He runs his fingertips over your nipple adding to the sensations coursing through you. "I'm close," you moan as you bounce faster, your walls clenching around him.

"Good baby," he chuckles. "Keep using me until you're satisfied," he smirks as he feels his climax approaching as well. The feeling of your pussy hugging every vein in his cock so tightly drives him insane. He feels like you're just milking him into nothing. "I'm gonna cum, where do you want it?" He says through deep, raspy, breaths.

"Inside," you moan out loudly as you orgasm, your legs shaking as you claw at his chest. He grabs your hips and thrusts into you a few more times causing you to let out a hoarse moan. You were already sensitive from just orgasming so intensely that this could just break you.

You felt his hot semen fill you up. His body glistens in sweat beneath you as the two of you pant in unison. You look down and slowly slide off his cock. A mixture of your pleasure pours from your pussy. Jiseok quickly presses his thumb against your entrance. You look at him surprised as cum drips from his thumb.

He pants as he looks up at you, strands of his hair stuck to his forehead.

"So, you wanna model for me again next week? Same time?" He chuckles before licking his lips.

A/N:: not to toot my own horn or anything but omg I love this fanfic *lip bite emoji* literally (s)creamed while proofreading it

[playroom-sekaii]

CG VBS Kaito hcs for a friend :D

(Him with the vbs babies ^w^)

• The dad ever oh my God

• Gives all of them the silliest nicknames that either make them giggle or blush each time

• Sneaks them sweets a lot (Meiko is very annoyed by this)

• I don't know how else to word it but he's kind of like Bandit/Bluey's dad when it comes to games, they're ridiculous but he gets very into them, sometimes more than the kiddos himself

• So many uppies for all of them, but especially Kohane, she's so light that he can carry her on his back while doing basically anything

• Kohane loves games like hide and seek, or being given "horsey rides", and Kaito is always willing to provide anything of that sort she desires. Anything his little ones want they get!

• He works extra hard to make sure he doesn't scare or overstimulate her when she's little, he knows her anxiety is worse in this headspace and he wants his little mouse to feel safe!

•An loves helping at the Virtual Singers' café when she's small, and Kaito loves letting her do so! She's his little assistant, adding toppings to drinks and making sure all the pancakes are extra fluffy! It can get a little messy though, and usually the two of them are too busy enjoying their snacks to remember to clean up without Meiko reminding them >-<

• She likes it when he plays with her hair! Even if he's not the best at it, she still likes it! Mr. Kaito makes her look so silly and fun!

• Works extra hard to make sure she feels seen and paid attention to, since that wasn't a constant when she was a kid. Every word she says he's on the edge of his seat, he'll drop everything if she says she wants to show him something, she's singing? Standing ovation this'll surpass RAD WEEKEND (she's like five rn)

• Doing his best to be the greatest CG possible for Akito, not only because he knows how insecure he can be about his regression and how rough his home life can be, but also because of Kaito's greater connection to Aki's true feelings. Knows all of the little ways to make him regress (ruffling his hair, saying he's proud of him, calling him sport or kiddo, etc), Akito is grumpy whenever he manages to make him slip at first but he's grateful deep down.

• One of the few that Akito is truly open about his needs or wants with when small, even if he's a bit grumpy about it. Kaito's nothing but supportive though, and wants to help him get more comfortable with it.

• Loves playing games with him, especially soccer. When Akito's on the older end of his age range he'll put up a real fight but when he's littler Kaito usually lets him win so he doesn't have a grumpy tantrum-

• Since Toya's the littlest of the vbs kids when he's small, Kaito feels that he has to protect him the most. He's just a baby that deserves a proper chance at a good childhood! (Toya called him "Papa" once and now he'd kill for him)

• Always ready to make cookies or warm milk for this little guy! He managed to find some bottles in the café, and is working to find new flavored milks and such to make for Toya to see if he'll like them (he does, but regular chocolate milk will always be his favorite)

• Toya has fallen asleep on his lap so many times before, but it's worth it! It means he's feeling truly safe and small! Who cares if he can't feel his legs! It's for the baby!

• Sometimes when he's working with his DJ equipment he'll let Toya sit on his lap and play with them, pressing the buttons with a wide-eyed fascinated look on his face. Now he's just like Papa! Kaito's so proud.

[bonezonejpg]

୨୧ : INTRODUCING MY INK VARIANT INX

Based off of my personal experiences. A year ago I was in a pretty bad headspace and had created him to help cope with my situation. Came upon him again and decided to make a ref+ revamp !! Anyways !! Some info about him <3 Inx deals with Chronic anxiety and Derealization. Despite the fact that knows the world around him is real, he struggles to fight with those irrational thoughts that its in fact not real. He feels like he's in a dream while existing which causes him to panic, and will get intrusive thoughts about him or others around him not being real. These intrusive thoughts can trigger panic attacks which happen to him frequently. Instead of using close range attacks, he specifically sticks with using long range attack as much as possible. Getting close to his targets causes him to panic, and most of the time he's not in a calm enough headspace to react on time and make strategic battle decisions. He tries his best to support Dream and Blue from the sidelines. He shrunk from stress.. LOL Dream is one of his comfort people. The two of them now live together and he spends most if not all of his time with Dream. When not around the other he can panic or go into spirals which take a very severe toll on his mental health. Because of this Dream makes sure to stay close to him and tries his best to accommodate him. He does have medication he uses sometimes, but he only uses it when having severe panic attacks. The viles are extremely hard to continuously manufacture so he has instead developed coping skills to deal with his issues best he can instead of taking his "medication" 24/7. The viles basically help him calm down and sort of reset his magic nervous system or whatever it would be so his panicking starts to cease. It doesn't last forever, but its a really good feeling when he takes it and it reminds him of how he used to be before dealing with all of this. These issues completely popped out of nowhere and the root cause is unknown by him and others around him. He had a thought that the world "wasn't real" and then got triggered into his first panic attack which then spread out into the issues he now has. [Literally exactly what happened to me except I'm okay now! Well sort of, not the same but def a LOT better :3] His eye will flash a bunch of different colors when he's about to have a panic attack or having one. This is a telltale sign that his stress has pretty much reached his limit and he's at his breaking point. He will leak and spill Ink from his mouth when trying to express the thoughts going on in his mind or his emotions. This is because his anxiety causes him to assume others will think he is annoying or attention seeking so he literally becomes choked up on his own words. Inx deals with constant paranoia that no one likes him and everyone finds him to be a burden. Despite others and himself trying to reassure himself, the sinking feeling that no one truly loves him also resides deep inside his bones. He doesn't get a lot of his sleep because of his derealization and anxiety. Constantly being in a state of panic makes it quite hard for him to rest because his body can't calm down enough to actually relax so he can fall asleep. He usually can only rest when with another person with some TV playing, or when he is so exhausted he literally cannot stay awake anymore.

Inx still enjoys to draw and visit AUs, it just has become quite difficult now because of the amount of stress he deals with. Obviously this has caused him to become pretty depressed so he has a really hard time picking up his hobbies, but he still attempts to use them as coping mechanisms even if he can't really make anything detailed anymore. Inx will constantly think about how he used to be before all of this and will wish that he could go back in time and just be normal again because he's so exhausted from everything.

Alrighty... For now thats all I can really think about!! I probably will look back at this and be like "awh dang why didn't I add this.." So expect me to most likely edit this little post at some point !! Also, all of these facts are 100% based off of experiences that I have went through. If you have any questions then feel free to send me an ask and I'll totally answer !! Plus some old art from when I first made him in 2023 when I was having that EP

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy reading all this despite it being super long... heh.. I'LL SEE U LATUR !!

[intimidating-fettuccine]

Proxies relax day? What do they do together? Like fishing or camping?

(Scenario also Hi! I'm new!)

Hello! Welcome to the blog :) I know you specified scenario but I just haven't been in a scenario headspace, although I tried to spice this up for you. I hope you enjoy it regardless :)

Fishing, of course! Fishing is Tim's favorite pastime, and it's something he does on a weekly basis. He goes out on his boat, floats into the water, and fishes the day away. It's a way to destress for him, and it just calms him and makes him relaxed after a very long week. It's an honor, quite honestly, for Tim to invite someone to go fishing with him. Everyone knows not to mess with him, as he takes fishing very seriously, and it'll make him very upset and down if you get too rowdy and scare all the fish away, so when it became a tradition every few weeks for him to invite Brian and Toby, the two of them felt quite special.

Brian is the most easygoing with the whole thing. He sits there quietly and patiently, although he doesn't fish all that much as he just doesn't have the talent for it, he always brings them plenty of snacks and drinks, and he's very encouraging with them. He also takes a bunch of pictures of them while they're out there, whether it be group photos, or candid shots of the other two while they're fishing, he likes to have a bunch of photos to remember these times together. Toby on the other hand originally struggled quite a bit with the fishing trips. He gets antsy when he's in the same place for too long, so there would be lots of "Let's move the boat over there!", "Let's go swimmin' Tim!", "Can't we just go for a little walk?", "Is there anything else to do?" And all of them would be shut down by Tim pretty fast. Did it agitate the shit out of Tim? Yes. But he loves Toby and is understanding of him, so he would let it go. It wasn't until Toby had a bad episode out on the water, and he started rocking the boat and almost fell in that things came to a head, with Tim yelling at him in fear and concern to knock it the fuck off. Was that the best way to handle it? No. Were there lots of hugs and tears and apologies afterward? Yes. 

After that point, something sort of clicked in Toby, and he became much more relaxed on the fishing trips. It was the fear in Tim's voice and in his eyes as he almost fell into the deep water that chilled him out a lot on the water, and things became easier after that. Tim started paying him a lot more attention too, to make him feel more occupied. He got him a new fishing rod and a bunch of equipment, and it became a bonding thing for them. Giving him tips and advice, to cast your line over there, to reel it in like this, to use these sorts of baits, and these kinds of lures, and Toby paid attention to every single piece of advice Tim gave him, even bringing a little notebook and writing it all down. Toby started to enjoy fishing a lot more after that, and thus, the tradition was born. Every other Sunday, the three of them go out on the water and fish for most of the day, starting early around the time the sun rises. If they catch anything good, Tim will grill it up when they get home, but if not, at least they still got to spend a day out in the water. Brian's lock screen for the last few months has been his favorite picture of the two, sitting shoulder to shoulder with the sunrise in front of them, with Toby's head sleepily resting on Tim as they fish. Toby might not always be the best in situations like these, but he tries for Tim, and Tim tries for him too. At the end of the day though, they also always have Mama Brian there to smooth over any rough bumps between the two.

[fictive-culture]

i just need. to ramble about my system for a moment. sorry that this is so long. god i love them

so. i was a Villain in my source. like, irredeemable killer kind of guy. I participated in what was essentially a fantasy genocide. I was a soldier, and i was PROUD of myself. I killed a princess of the people I was trying to wipe out; as a result I got my memories wiped and was placed in some sort of death game.

In my own, noncanon memories of source, I was also a system. There were only two of us, but we HATED each other. He hated how I hurt people and felt no remorse. I hated how weak he was. Eventually, our fighting came to a head when we returned home one day to find our entire village on fire. We never found our parents. I blamed him for leaving in the first place, for not being able to protect everyone. For 15 years, I forced him into dormancy. He only re-emerged once our memories were wiped.

When my sourcemates and I got introjected it was DIRECTLY before what we kind of consider my "turning point" as a character- when my memories flooded back and I killed one of my best friends in cold blood. Because he was One Of Them, and i couldn't be friends with One Of Them. Most of the time when people get introjected into this system we still live out our source lives for a bit inside headspace until someone has the energy to explain to us where we are and what's going on. I very nearly went through with killing that friend here in this system- they had to physically hold me back in headspace. My alter, the nice one, got his own form in headspace and used his own body to shield that friend. I wanted to hurt BOTH of them.

For several weeks I was kind of placed under constant watch by the local gatekeeper (a fictive of a protector god). But.... they weren't horribly mean to me? They were prickly, yes, but.. well, I wasn't there for it, but a long time ago our system had a whole deal with a gang of persecutors trying to harm the rest of the system- everyone managed to just slowly talk them down and reach an understanding, and since then we've had this philosophy that NOBODY in this system deserves to be hated, or locked away, or hurt, no matter how much they're hurting others. We can always figure something out- hurting them will only make them want to hurt us more. Compassion is the strongest route to change, at least here. They applied that to me- they wouldn't force me to befriend anyone, and wouldn't expect me to be especially nice, but I wasn't allowed to hurt anyone. And in turn, nobody was allowed to hurt me. They protected me from the others just as much as vice versa, since... none of my sourcemates in the system were particularly happy with what I'd done.

I don't even really understand how it happened at this point. I can kind of barely remember it all (for reasons outside of the system). But slowly, over time, my sourcemates started to warm up to me? They started allowing me to be near my previous alter, now turned brother I suppose. Neither of us liked it much, but we didn't hurt each other. And when I started feeling emotions other than anger and hatred for possibly the first time in over a decade, they... were all there for me?

The sister of the princess I killed was also in the system. She was furious with me about it- she even joined that source death game willingly just so she could kill me in there. But she got her memory wiped too, so she never got the chance. If I had succeeded in killing my friend, she would've been my next target. In the system, she straight up hated me, refused to be around me. I still didn't feel bad about anything I'd done or intended to do. We fought. A Lot. Over time, everyone else in the system tried to show me the people I was trying to wipe out were, well, people, and I slowly started to see why I was wrong. And then all of it hit me at once. Oh god, I nearly killed one of the few people who truly believed in me, someone who loved me and I had loved him back before I remembered who i was, and I had killed so many people in the past and laughed about it, and i had killed this woman's sister and then taunted her about it, and oh fuck what is wrong with me. And... I don't even know why. I think it was because she literally could not get anyone else in front. But she had to be there for me as it all came crashing down on me, and she... kind of stopped hating me. She had to hold me as I cried. And she just... did. She could've left me alone in front to deal with that on my own, but she didn't. I was TERRIFIED of her all of a sudden, believing everything she had wanted to do to me was right and justified and I think I even tried to convince her to go through with hurting me while none of the gatekeepers were looking. She refused. She understood why the gatekeepers were so insistent on keeping the peace, and right there she could see evidence of it working. She said I gave her hope that people can change. I think that scared me even more.

One of my sourcemates trusted me almost the entire time we were in that death game- in my canon finale she finally came up to me and said No, she's done believing in me, she's done helping me, she probably hates me now because of everything I've done. She left me to die, and honestly? I don't blame her. In the system, she was terrified of me. She would start to panic every time she was near me. Sometimes I tried to make it worse. But one day I was in front, starting to panic because I was frontstuck for a doctor's appointment I had no memory of what for. And... she was the one who comforted me. She was the one who helped me back out of front. She was also terrified the entire time, but when I seemed to make it clear I wasn't going to lash out, she settled right in to help. She hated our source- hated how everyone was constantly arguing, hated how many betrayals and backstabbings there were. When we introjected me and all my sourcemates, pretty much everyone else realised there's no reason to fight or distrust each other here and everyone became friends pretty quickly. She was ecstatic about that- she still is. She was kind of sad that I was the only one being excluded. She was determined to help me have that, too.

My alter turned brother really really wanted to attack me for nearly killing our best friend. He was actually the one everyone had to hold back from hurting me the most. And... he was also the first person to believe in me in this system. He thought, since we were a system in source, despite us being so different the things that were a part of him were also a part of me. If he had the capacity to be violent, I had the capacity to be kind. He was the first to try to convince the others to be kinder to me. Eventually I realised the amount of damage I'd done to him forcing him into dormancy all those years. He still believed he wasn't any older than twenty, to a point where in source when people called him old he would actually get scared and confused. He still presents that young in headspace. I'd call us twins if it weren't for that, it's just I'm in my mid-30s and he never even got to experience adulthood. I'm kind of glad that our body here is only just starting our twenties. It's like he gets a second chance. He was the main one trying to show me that the people i hated were in fact people. He's the closest now to our best friend I nearly killed. That friend started to be okay with me as soon as my brother did, he trusted my brother's judgement completely. Both of them were so nice to me. I felt like I didn't deserve it for what I'd done not only in source, but my entrance to the system as well. They tried their hardest to convince me otherwise.

I still feel like I don't deserve any of this kindness, don't fully understand why this has all happened. I still keep going on about how I don't even know if I've really changed, can I really change at all- they remind me that I'm so afraid to hurt anyone now that i won't even pick up a weapon now for like... any reason. That seems like change. I'm protective of them. I actually feel guilt, something I never did before. That seems like change. All of my sourcemates have warmed up to me now, all of us are friends. I love them. I protect them where I can, and in turn they protect me. I've learned how to cry again. I've learned how to laugh again. The first time they saw me genuinely smile here everyone cheered, it was so ridiculous but so sweet. Recently we watched through a playthrough of god of war ragnarok, and that kind of hit me close to home, but then everybody told me specifically to watch the valhalla dlc and it kind of broke me. They all want so badly to prove to me that I have changed and I do deserve this kindness now. I love them so much. I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. I'm so glad they were all so damn determined to help me change. Now I do the same for others in the system who are similar to how I used to be. I don't think I can express enough how much they all mean to me. I have a family now, when I was so convinced that after losing my parents I was going to be alone for the rest of my life. I feel their love and care around me like a blanket all the time now. I'm never, ever letting that go.

I really, really love this system.

.

[mamamittens]

I absolutely adore your series, Sweet Child

My favorite One Piece reader story for sure.

So I'm not sure if this question has been asked, but what would've happened if Akainu won?

Also you somehow got me swooning when he holds reader in his arms and you describe his expression of awe??

That probably wasn't even intentional but it's got me wondering what an ending with him would be like.

Is a yandere too? Platonic? Romantic??

Well, actually, there is one pending request for a yandere Akainu end (with smut). Though by default all characters are platonic (Akainu was the surprise yandere by secret vote actually). Hopefully I can finish the au endings next month but I've been meaning to write them for quite some time now so... I guess we'll just have to see?

And anyway, an ending with Akainu would have him miraculously survive the blast and find reader at the inn before Marco and Ace do. Reader was smart enough to act in a way that would leave them relatively clear if they couldn't get away, but Akainu doesn't need much encouragement to excuse anything reader does as somehow innocent.

Thing is, every since he'd heard of them (in a meeting where the higher ups were considering where best to assign reader given their devil fruit), he's been enchanted by the idea of them. An agreeable, fresh recruit with a devil fruit to match. And seeing how most devil fruit users match their fruit, he made the not so crazy assumption that reader would also be supportive. And as someone so much stronger than his subordinates, he's used to having to do the heavy lifting to accomplish his goals. His equals so different in personality and power they inevitably clash, right down to their ideas of justice.

But, in his eyes, reader just needs to be taught. They're still weak (though now he knows they can be very clever) so it's understandable that they may have picked up on some bad habits.

So, when he finds them again he personally takes them under his wing. No more 'other partners'. Just him. And he sort of slips into the headspace that he's the only one that can keep reader on the right path. That their time with Whitebeard has caused permanent psychological harm (like, not immediately immolating civilians that help pirates--obviously this isn't an issue of ingrained morals but brainwashing to think it's okay to help criminals). This isn't helped by reader not being stupid enough to argue with him under normal circumstances.

And since reader can't be trusted to make good decisions on their own, they just need to stay with Akainu so their 'real' true potential can be met. The fact that this means Akainu will never have to feel alone in life or his pursuit of Absolute Justice is not a coincidence. Having a 'perfect match' is intoxicating (Marco himself ran into this issue since physical contact makes the reader also feel like a phoenix so his instincts without the power to oppose him). Having your perfect match be incapable of threatening you on any real level even more so for people with clear issues like Akainu.

He doesn't chain the reader like Teach did. But they're never too far from Akainu's reach either, other marines under strict order to return them to his side if they're caught elsewhere.

This ending is meant to be a tad ambiguous as well if it's platonic, romantic, or sexual. But it could very easily be any of them since his attraction isn't based on their looks or personality, but what their presence brings him personally. That look of awe could be from seeing first hand how their devil fruit could be used or that someone could influence devil fruits that much and be meant to stay by his side. After all, they were tossed about different bases without his protection and look what happened!

Hope this long post answers your question! ( •̀ ω •́ )✧

[treasureplanetsheep]

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice thoughts (spoiler alert!):

pretty solid sequel

the last half/third was fantastic (basically when things really started to go bonkers/it turned into a rescue mission)

the soundtrack was great

everyone seemed to be having fun (especially Willem Dafoe)

found wynona ryder to be a little...stiff? idk my mom wasn't really impressed with her either. could be bc of how different lydia was compared to the first film? idk i'll talk a little more about that at the end of this post

delores was an interesting concept of a character (more on that later)

Bob was MVP of the movie

was surprised at how prominent the presence of Charles was in the movie due to all the real life ick involving the original actor. i think they cleverly worked around his character at least i guess.

i recognize the priest from that one show Turn AMC solely from the fact that gifsets of him (usually shipping posts) would regularly show up on my dash thanks to some tumblr mutuals lololol

personally could have done without the beetlebaby (twice!) but fits with the beetlejuice zaniness i suppose

Beetlejuice has kept his part of the bargain TWICE now and Lydia keeps managing to worm her way out of her end of the deal tsk tsk lol

So now for more detailed thoughts:

Lydia:

so i never pictured her to turn out like...this? anxious, getting walked over by her creepy smarmy boyfriend. she lost her spine. :( idk how i feel about bc she's in such a vastly different headspace than when we last saw her.

Delores and Wolf Jackson:

these two kind of go hand in hand in a way? So I LIKED the concept of her character (soul-sucking (ex)wife lol get it?)...but we get so little of her???? she's such a flat character! She could be completely removed from the movie and nothing would change (except Bob would be alive 😭)! You build towards some sort of confrontation with her and Beetlejuice and then nothing happens! she finally finds him, is immediately shoved at rory and then eaten by a sandsnake!!!! curious about her total screentime bc i'm pretty sure nearly half of it is just the stayin' alive stapler gun montage)

Wolf Jackson:

you could tell Willem Dafoe was having fun lol. i really liked him ngl BUT the character schtick of him getting a little too lost in acting out bits almost made it feel like he was in a whole separate movie at times if that makes sense? like it felt like he was just doing his own thing the whole time. in his own world.

personally i think the movie should have only included one of the characters. either delores or Wolf and his police/detective tomfoolery. Then *that* character's screentime could have been dedicated to the other character.

and once again i'll reiterate that the last chunk (busting into the underworld and beyond) of the movie was just so fun. Definitely the best part.

nitpicking:

how i would have worked the beginning:

personally i wish we could have gotten the paranormal show gig stuff with lydia, had her receive a phone call and then just cut to everyone arriving at the house with the "who or what or where are they now" stuff worked in after the fact instead of going to the school and the art exhibition. *Nearly* starting off at the house would have helped move things along a little more in the beginning (i thought it dragged just a tad).

[oneforthemunny]

heyy evie i have a little specific ask so pls just ignore it if it's dumb. lately i wasn't feeling v well and when i'm in that headspace i get clingy. how would eddie react if i was trying to cuddle and be held by him and he snapped at me because he was busy and didn't know i felt bad? i didn't adress it further, apologized and went to bed alone and he felt guilty about it later. how would we make up? maybe not janitor or modern eddie 'cause i don't see them behave like that but the others? or maybe just one of the others? need a little bit of angst and comfort you write so well<3

at first glance I wanted to say dom!eddie bc he seems like kinda a gimme answer in a way, but then I really think he wouldn't be mad at you for being clingy because that's a little unheard of for you. and I think that would be the same with rockstar!eddie, if anything he'd be on high alert and kinda freaked out.

but I think this would (and I apologize bc I'm about to hurt some people) be mafia!eddie coded.

he's fucking stressed to the max. rick is pissed the feds raided his place, hopper and steve were supposed to help him out and keep him ahead of this and they dropped the ball. they had to move shipments to another place bc obv rick doesn't keep shit at his house but they were scared they'd find the warehouse, and they moved it but that pushed things back leaving their buyers furious- they lost a lot of money.

rick is on eddie's ass to expedite the next shipment, send some guys down to miami and pick it up themselves, and he's stressed, he hasn't slept, and fuck- he's exhausted. mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally exhausted.

kitten had been getting sick, a little under the weather and usually eddie doted on her after one sniffle. she tried to keep it under wraps just because she didn't want to add to his stress, but she really didn't feel good and she missed eddie.

"ed?" you knocked on the door to his office. it was late and he'd been in here all day, barely leaving to even use the bathroom. "ed, are you coming to bed, honey?"

"I'll be there in a second." eddie huffed, fingers knotting through his already mussed hair.

you pouted, moving closer into the room. it smelt like cigarettes, which judging by the full ash tray, he'd been chain smoking. "baby, why don't you do this in the morning?" you ran your hand over his shoulder, feeling the tensed muscles. selfishly, you just wanted to spend time with him. you weren't feeling the best and combined with your lack of sleep from eddie's absence, it wasn't making you feel any better.

eddie ignored you, jaw tightening and continuing to mark up plans. you sighed, moving to sit in his lap. "eddie, you need to rest. you're overdoing it-"

eddie smacked his hands on the desk, shouting your name so loudly you stood before you could properly get into his lap. "for fuckssake! can you leave me alone to work? I have to get this shit done, ok? I fucking have to. I don't have time for this bullshit right now. I don't need sleep, I need you to leave me the fuck alone so I can figure this out!"

you felt the growing lump in your throat, turning on your heel, muttering a soft apology before going back to bed, teary eyed and head throbbing with congestion from your cold and tears.

eddie didn't come to bed until much much later, and when he did, he collapsed next to you, not even taking his clothes off he was so exhausted. he finally got things sorted and approved, rick was more calm and steady, jeff and max had picked up the cuban shipment in miami and were headed to rick, and it looked like he could finally relax for a little bit.

then he woke up the next day.

his arm was on you, even in his sleep he just reached out to hold you, but you were covered in a soft sheen of sweat, shaking a little even under the blankets. eddie blinked awake, seeing you covered in the blankets. "baby, are you ok?"

"'m fine." you muttered, still shivering and voice wavering. he didn't miss the way your voice rasped. "just a little cold."

eddie sat up, placing a hand on your head. it was damp and hot. "you're burning up, kitten." he frowned. "are you-are you sick?"

you hesitated and that was answer enough. eddie was up, reaching for the phone on the nightstand. "no, ed, I'm fine. really. I just... don't worry about me. I'll be alright."

eddie shakes his head, reaching for the phone book. "I'm calling dr. stephens to come look at you, alright? should've told me you were sick."

"I didn't want to bother you anymore than I already did, ed, please. I'll be alright." you pleaded, guilt creeping in your chest.

eddie paused, confused at first, before realization flooded him. then the horrid feeling of dread. "oh...oh fuck, kitten, no." eddie set the phone down, eyes rounded up at you. "I didn't... I was just...I'm so sorry." he didn't know what else to say. excuses felt lame and pointless, and the guilt and horror of his words were making him feel sick to his stomach. he'd talked to you so mean, so vile when you were just looking out for him. when you were sick.

eddie spent the rest of the day coddling you in any way he could. a lame excuse of an apology in his eyes, but it was all he could do. he felt horrible, and you knew that, that's why you let him dote on you, baby you and fuss over your blankets and pillows. you let him hold you in the office when he did have to go over a few things, snuggled in his lap or lying on the couch and napping. just in his company, it made you both feel a little better.

[scaly-freaks]

I am pretty sure that Amara is not going to wear braids around Aegon for a long time …

But about the braids, and I apologise if I am wrong but I feel there is a bit of an infantilising ( is it the right word ? ). When I think of braids, little girls come to my mind and with the fact that in a certain way Aegon is her family and older brother, it makes her in a way easier to submit which makes the situation even more twisted. And when she cries and Aegon holds her ! The line about her thinking about sucking her thumb in that situation makes her seem vulnerable and makes us see her again as a child. There is also the fact that she lived a really traumatising experience as a little girl and it feels as if she’s still trapped at that state because she never had the chance to face it and heal from it.

And the fact that after he took advantage of her, she calls Criston, her father figure directly afterwards make it more heartbreaking because he’s her only living family biologically and protector but he is also Aegon’s family and also a father through his relationship with Alicent which make the situation worse.

The chapter reminded me a lot of the cabin chapter in Your skin makes me cry when she have her period ( if you know you know ).

I found the metaphor between Amara and Odile really beautiful because I feel Amara knows she can easily fall into a self destructive cycle and she do everything to not break and hold it together.

I really would like to think what was thinking Aegon through this chapter. He seems more like a predator ( the part when she compares herself to a rabbit, I loved it ). After the beginning of the chapter, it feels as if he is ready to pounce on his prey. It reminded me a lot of the Inmate ( I forgot the number ) universe.

I don’t know if I said everything I thought but I really loved this chapter and have been enjoying reading this book. Today especially with the ambiance had me feeling a delectable chill in my spine. You write beautifully and keep us salivating the whole time 🫧🫧🫧

I hope you are alright and highly hydrated ! 🫧

It could definitely be viewed in the light of infantilisation, though I think for farm work, it's probably best to have the hair tucked away neatly, and Amara just prefers double braids over single (she's cursed-blessed with an abundance of thick desi hair, so braids are often the only way to go).

But I really like the idea of correlating it to their shared past as pseudo-siblings growing up together. And the fact that he catches her braids when he wants to control her is a sort of reference to all the tales in stories where hair is power (Samson, Rapunzel etc). He grabs her hair, and it happens to look like reins, and he controls her in the moment.

And ye the scene with the thumb was definitely there to depict how childhood sexual abuse can twist the victim's future in a hundred different ways, and none of them are easy to deal with. Aegon's past abuse hasn't been explored yet, but Amara's was splashed across newspapers and her face was everywhere when she was six (even if her name wasn't). Everyone in the family knows what happened to her. No one knows what happened to him and so any traits he possesses that are a consequence of that abuse are as of yet a mystery. But he might recognise them in her if he saw them. The black hole is the most obvious representation of her trauma, but no one except her can see that (for now).

Now though it was dub-con in the end, it definitely didn't start out as such. And I find myself balking when I have to write from the headspace of a sexual predator, especially one so unpredictable (I don't think I have so far, but my memory might be failing me). I didn't give much thought to what was going on in his head, because my own personal experience is only ever being in Amara's place, whether that was in childhood or adulthood. But yeah, Aegon was exhibiting this thing which some men do, where one yes means an endless supply of yes's. Even if her no ended up becoming yes he didn't heed that first no at all.

I always find it difficult writing such things and putting them out there. I'm fully aware I won't always find people who understand what I mean because quite frankly, media literacy isn't great these days. That a broken, abused boy and an equally broken and abused girl can grow up to make horrendous decisions for others and themselves but still hunt and reach for love the way any normal person might and believe they deserve it. Amara wanted the feeling of love and mistook it for physical closeness which she needed desperately in the moment with Aegon, but that opened the doors to a new kind of relationship.

Aegon wants the love he felt at fifteen with a girl who's no longer a girl but a woman who's outgrown him. But if he doesn't get that, there is another experience, the one where he becomes the abuser and has all the power he once lacked when he was the one being abused. In this situation he could easily call it love because it's Amara, a step-sibling of sorts, and he could never hurt her as badly as the man who killed her parents and took her right? Nothing could ever be as bad as that. Aegon thinks himself an improvement on those experiences.

Thank you so much for your comment, lovely, I really enjoyed answering ^^

[beannary]

If you want to talk about one of your aus, or au ideas, I'd love to hear about them! (*scoots my chair forward, looking hopeful*)

ok ive been wanting to answer this for a while but i kept on being so scared because ah! this is the one opportunity ill get to talk about my au! but then i realized that is stupid this is not gonna be my only opportunity to talk about my au

putting my ramblings under a read more because i ended up uh saying a whole lot about Donnie and his relationship with both Splinter and Big Mama

ok so basically ive been thinking a lot about the little prince au because it is fully my child and i adore it so much but ive been specifically thinking about Donnie and Splinter's relationship because I really want to write their relationship well

theyre gonna have such an interesting relationship. I know I havent gotten into how Big Mama ended up with Donnie but I am working on a comic for that so I'm not going to get into all of the details but Splinter does know that he left a turtle behind, he just thinks that the turtle he left behind died in the lab explosion, so over the years he has dealt with guilt because of that but overtime that guilt not necessarily faded but he comes to rationalize it because truly it wasn't his fault that Donnie got left behind, and truly there was nothing he could have done to save Donnie. But once he learns that Donnie is not only alive but that he's been living with Big Mama, Splinter's guilt is going to come back at full force because oh my god, not only is the kid that he thought was dead actually alive but he was raised by the woman who kidnapped Splinter and forced him to fight for years!

Splinter is going to be trying so hard to get Donnie to live with him once he learns that Donnie is alive, and he's going to be trying so hard to be the best parent for Donnie ever to like makeup for abandoning Donnie back in the lab explosion. or you know, not abandoning Donnie but that's what Splinter sees it as

I also want Donnie to have like similar reactions to leaving Big Mama that Splinter had. Like undeniably Splinter was incredibly depressed after leaving Big Mama, and like Big Mama turned this thing that Splinter loved, you know performing and being in the spotlight and entertaining!, and completely took away any agency that he could have to this thing that he loved to the point where he refused to take part in it just so he could have some sort of control over his life again

When Donnie leaves Big Mama (whether its by his own will or not I havent decided or figured out how he comes to live with the Hamatos yet) but he's going to go through something similar just a complete shut down where he abandons everything that he loved to do because he now associates them with Big Mama and her control over him if that makes sense? Like Donnie LOVES dancing and he loves playing music and listening to music! but these are activities that Big Mama actively encouraged and so naturally hes going to associate them with her.

I think one thing Donnie is going to throw himself into when he first leaves Big Mama is his inventing. Sort of like how Splinter would lose himself in his shows, I think Donnie is going to get into a sort of headspace where he just spaces out and doesn't have to think about anything while he's tinkering around.

Donnie and Splinter I think are also both going to want to try to prove themselves to each other? Splinter I think might end up being really overbearing while trying to makeup for all this lost time while Donnie is going to try to be the perfect son for Splinter just like he tried to be the perfect son for Big Mama

But like once they actually get to talking and once Donnie is more comfortable around Splinter I think these two are going to have a lot of heart to hearts just because Big Mama controlled their lives for so long, there's a lot of stuff to bond over and relate to

Idk Im not super confident in my writing abilities and Im trying really hard to portray Big Mama as a narcissistic parent but a lot of the stuff that I've read about how narcissistic personality disorder might portray itself in a parental role like centers heavily on the way that they pit siblings against each other and Donnie does not have a sibling! So I guess in a sense he would be both the golden child and the scapegoat which must make for a confusing existence. I dont even know if im portraying this well at all or if any of this is coming across in my writing but I sure hope that it is!

Another thing I want to get into is how Big Mama like reacts to Donnie's inventing because like having a super smart kid that can build you whatever you want is logically a very good resource to have and she does want him to keep building her stuff. But like inventing is messy! Science is messy! In an ideal world Donnie would be getting down and dirty working hard on engineering and botany, and like Donnie can sometimes get so focused on his work that he turns into a bit of a hermit till he comes out of that focused mindset and that's really the part that Big Mama doesn't like because like yes having a super smart kid does reflect very well on her, but having a kid whose constantly playing in the dirt or messing around with explosives and other dangerous devices and who occasionally goes completely MIA while working does not reflect well on her. So she's put into a position where she both wants Donnie to keep building her stuff but she also doesn't want all that extra messiness that comes with encouraging this interest of his.

Anyways im going to stop now because this has gotten WAY too long and I dont even know where im going with this! but it was so helpful to write this all out and just like getting my like thoughts you know written out so I can actually see if any of this makes sense asdklfjhsakdjh

[capriclonus]

I am in awe of your writing Cap. I can't believe how deftly you shift the emotional compass from sentence to sentence in a way that is totally honest and believable. It's absolutely mesmerising.

I'm new to fanfiction writing, and I'm just grateful that there are folks like yourself to learn from and inspire both to write and hopefully become better at the craft.

Do you have any advice for someone posting a smut scene for the very first time? I've known it's been coming up in my fic for a long time and next week is the week it'll finally be posted - and I'm already that anxious!

oh my god i am---------oh my god???????

oh my goodness gracious------

(my tiny gay heart cant take this)

Seriously, I don't know what to say to this. I don't know what I can say to this. This has blown my brains out. Thank you? Thank you. Oh my goodness gracious gay god, thank you!!!!

Okay, so *ahem* I honestly don't know how good I am at giving writing advice, but I will do my best for you. I'm going to put it beneath a cut off because, fuck me, can I waffle.

First off, let me say that if your writing is as eloquent as this ask is (and I'd bet my mother it is) then I'm sure your writing is already wonderful. Everything that we post is ultimately a learning experience and the more we write the more we find our style.

As for smut, well, that's always a daunting thing. It's a very vulnerable experience, and every single person who posts it is commendable. I know every single writer goes through the ball of anxiety that is first-time smut posting. Stupid as it sounds, the only way to do it is to do it. But I also find it very helpful to have someone I trust - a friend or a beta who understands my writing style and headspace - read it through first and offer their opinion. Nothing too critical because I find that doing that with an experience as scary and vulnerable as first-time smut can really put the writer off posting anything at all related to it. Also, don't be afraid to admit that nervousness to your readers; a lot of readers are really kind-hearted and, if they hear you are nervous about the scene, I am sure they will make extra effort to bolster your confidence in the comments. And if they don't, come get me, and I will smash their face across the keyboard until something positive comes out (I'm joking. Sort of.)

Ultimately (and this is the oldest line in the book I'm really not original), we write for ourselves. The advice I offer now is the same whether it's smut or not: if you are happy with what you've written, if you like what you've written, you've nailed it. That's all that matters. Obviously, we all love the crazed dopamine hit we get from comments and kudos and I won't feed you a line that they don't matter because they do to a lot of people, myself included. As fanfic writers we want people to like our writing, and we do what we do out of a passion that we want to share and a desire to connect to others that share that passion. I find that, at the end of the day, even if a fic of mine has low engagement, I can walk away happy because I am proud to have written it. That's what matters.

If you are lacking someone you trust enough to read it and be vulnerable with, then I hope you know I am happy to take that space, should you want me to. I'm always happy to help put more smut in the world lmfao! Also, if you want to dm me your fic when you've posted the smut, please do, because I will be there with an outpour of support in your comments.

(I am sorry if this wasn't overly helpful, I am writing this at 1am following a caffeine-fuelled writing spree. But I do find smut is one of those experiences where you just have to fuckin go for it, ass out. That confidence grows with time, and it starts with publishing your first piece.)

[baby--charchar]

You mentioned about bedwetting for lil!Charlie? Can you go a bit more in depth please?

Was it something that happened when she was an actual kid? And the regression brought it back or more like the stres of the extermination and everything and one way to handle it is through regression?

Was this something that occurred before or after Vaggie knew about her regression? Do they have plans for when they are going somewhere over night to heaven?

And just any general hcs with lil!Charlie that's related?

Cw: sfw agere, having accidents and using pull ups. Definitely not for everyone and that's totally okay!

I dunno if it's something she struggled with in childhood! Probably no *deep* history with it there.

But it definitely started with stress-induced involuntary regression. If you imagine how many hats Charlie wears metaphorically...she's a business owner, a mentor/counselor, an advocate, somewhat of a political figure... And does she seem like someone who tries to have work/life balance? Poor girl was bound to snap eventually.

Her headspace isn't always so low, but it runs VERY deep. Involuntary regression can feel somewhat akin to dissociation (at least, that's been my own experience), so when her mind slipped into a younger headspace, her body followed suit. She just wasn't picking up on her body's cues, so when she needed to go, it just sorta happened. Regression was embarrassing enough, but the accidents nearly sent her spiraling when they first started. She felt so out of control, something she could NOT afford in her position.

Vaggie was the first to know about her regression, and they both disclosed it to Lucifer soon after. Since they understood Charlie's regression before her accidents started, they were able to "roll with the punches" so to speak. They could discretely get her back to her room, get her clean and changed, start the laundry, and pull her back down from her meltdowns (which ALWAYS happened after an accident).

One or two accidents were whatever, but then they started happening nearly every single day. This worried Vaggie and Lucifer, but Charlie was trying her best to just hold it together and make everything stop. The bedwetting was Vaggie's last straw, because 1) neither she nor Charlie could get good sleep like that, and 2) Charlie's accidents were clearly getting WORSE, and denying that was only going to get Charlie sick or hurt. Vaggie was never unkind, but she really had to put her foot down there. After LOTS of crying, arguing, and demon tantrums, Charlie agreed to try some sort of protection in the form of pull ups.

To be clear, Charlie fucking hates them. Always has, always will. Vaggie thinks they're adorable, but tbh she thinks everything that Baby Charlie does is adorable (sometimes they peek over the waistband of her pajama pants and Vaggie just thinks 'aw, just a baby.🥺').

Deep down though , Charlie knows that they're helping her body. She's getting better sleep, her skin isn't irritated, and her anxiety levels have gone way down. She still hates having accidents, especially while she sleeps, but they make the whole ordeal less traumatic. She often tries to hide her accidents from Vaggie and Lucifer because she's still embarrassed, but tbh she kinda has "a face" she makes when wetting that gives her away. Just a blank little stare. Thankfully they check her often, so she stays clean and healthy.

I also think Vaggie would probably check her in the middle of the night, and master the art of changing Charlie without waking her up.

As far as travel goes, this would probably be the one time Charlie was glad to have her pull ups. There is no way in hell she'd let an angel (God forbid, Lute or Adam) find out about her regression and use it against her.

[sunsetsmakemesad]

Chapter 149

I'm craving grilled meat now

Hmm romantic moon scene

Kanaaaaa :((((((

"You guys still love each other, right?" no they don't Kana she's just keeping him from committing murder

Not Kana acting like she's fine even though it's so obvious she is not. Relatable.

KANA NOO YOU'RE GREAT YOU'RE AWESOME I LOVE YOU DON'T SAY THAT

Also are these two gonna consider that Aqua really isn't in the best mental headspace to be dating people lolll

:(

Akane is right though, they don't have that sort of relationship anymore, but I suppose Kana's low self-esteem is speaking here

Like a mother to her child AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA

she just wants him to find a good uni and get a good job😞

No he doesn't he's a dense rock who has Kamiki on his mind 24/7

I think you two should drop Aqua and get some ice cream together and paint each others' nails

Kana :((((

Akane is making some good points, seriously though.

Kana is always acting like she's 30, even though she's barely 19 (or 18??? I hate onk timeline)

The moment she grew out of being a cute kid, people stopped paying attention to her and turned their backs on her. She took it as sign that she's not a child anymore, I'm assuming she did this even in middle school. It makes me sad for her

Akane's right, Kana, grow some balls

Aaaaaaand they're back home

She's so pretty I wish she understood how amazing she is

Akane is at her doorstep. Huh

Why are Akanebros insulting Kana can't they see she's a Kanabro herself

"Why would you do that?" she already said she wants him to get into a good university and get a good job. Add a good girlfriend to the list

HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA SHE WASN'T LYING WHEN SHE SAID SHE WAS LIKE A MOM

that's kinda creepy tho

"Stop looking at me with those eyes!" "what eyes? ⚫u⚫"

Wait don't tell me she's making him get a girlfriend to stop him from revenge. She REALLY doesn't want him to go down that path, does she.

Anyways that was chapter 149, the liveblogging was so fun, I love aka's little guys when they're not being incestous.

[lilac-gold]

An analysis of Hero's healing, his position as an older brother and his relationships with Aubrey and Kel

Hero's healing:

I love exploring all the links between Headspace and the real world, and today, another's been on my mind. Hero is a healer in HS, but he heals and attacks through his food & frying pan; his position in the team utilises his strengths and passions, those being medicine and cooking. And in one of the flashbacks in Memory Lane, Hero asks Sunny if he should be a doctor or a cook when he's an adult. He personally wants to be the latter- that's why cooking is embedded so heavily into each of his skills in HS- but his parents want him to be the former.

Hero's a healer because that's what's necessary, what's expected of him, what he's good at. He heals through his food because that's what he likes making, trying his best to turn his strong suit into something he loves. Mari wanted him to be a cook, but after she died, Hero couldn't face that career. Instead, he did what his parents wanted, going to medical school. He's smart, and does well at it, but it's not something that he enjoys quite as much as he does cooking.

In Headspace, there are no parents: not Sunny's, not Aubrey's, nor Basil's, and not Hero's (and Kel's). But there is Mari, the opposite of in the real world. And yet, Hero's talent for healing and career as a doctor is still embedded into his fighting skills, even without any influence from a parental figure in HS since he has no parent there to take advice from. There's only himself, the younger kids, and Mari.

I like to think that Hero's a healer in HS not only because of his parents wanting him to be a doctor, though, but rather as a result of his older brother figure in their friendship group. Having a biological little brother who he cared for deeply meant that Hero had experience with littler kids, and he's the sort of person to look out for them, taking on a slightly parental role in HS. Particularly to Aubrey and Kel, he's very much an older brother figure.

He settles their disputes. He has a messy love life they like to get involved in and tease him about. He comforts them when they're upset. He's in charge of where they go (e.g. SWH's Quest for Hearts). He offers advice to characters like Omori. He's responsible, he's polite, he's a role model to them. Nice to everyone and always willing to help out. He reprimands Aubrey when she gets a little too angry, and tells Kel off when he aggravates her.

Above all else, though, Hero looks after them. He heals them when they're injured, offering good food and protection from enemies and threats. Hero takes on a defensive position, always there to offer help, support and recovery.

So, he's a healer.

This most likely applied in the real world, too, when the kids got any minor injuries like scrapes or bruises. 'Dr Hero' was able to look after them, patching them up with colourful band-aids. And Sunny experienced that, and integrated it into his mind that Hero (and Mari) were he, Aubrey, Basil and Kel's protectors. They provide warmth, shelter, healing and food.

Hero & Aubrey:

That makes it hurt even more when you think about how alone Aubrey felt. Her parents split up, her mother turning to drink as she stayed in her tiny, barely-filled room in the attic. Her friends all left, she lost an older sister figure in Mari- and an older brother in Hero. She didn't see him again for a year, and when he finally went back to school, he devoted himself to his studies and that image of perfection Mari had strived for. He didn't have time for her anymore, and wasn't there to even see if she was okay.

Of course she'd be angry, and hurt, and upset, on both her and Hero's behalf. She's mad at Mari for leaving them like she did, for crumbling Aubrey's only support system in one day. She's mad at Hero, for abandoning her in his grief. She's even mad at herself, for not being able to help somehow.

So she finds new friends, and she becomes the leader, the protector. She looks over the Hooligans, sometimes telling them off, getting defensive over them, buying food with them at Gino's. But there's nobody to look after her, or to stop her from doing anything she wants because her mother doesn't care, or to make her food that's actually filling. She's alone.

Then Hero comes back, and he doesn't even recognise her. He leaves her behind at the lake, walking away with Kel and Sunny without even hearing her out. She's been abandoned again, she's messed up again, and she doesn't know how to fix it. There are too many emotions for her to process, and she's far too exhausted to go after them. So, she goes home, and resents Basil for ruining her memories, and Kel for reducing her to the image he's built of her inside of his head, and Sunny for only coming out now and hurting her, and Mari for killing herself. And she resents Hero for leaving her, for not being there, and for walking away from that lake without a second glance.

She's still so, so angry, but then he goes to visit her and she falls apart. He came to see if she's okay. He wants to listen to her. And he recognises the rift between she and Kel as 'your typical Kel and Aubrey fight'. And he fixes it, making them say sorry like they're still just kids. And Aubrey hasn't said sorry in so long, not since her mom doesn't care and she's a known delinquent and she's so angry. He reprimands her lightly, seeing just how upset she is, but he's acting like a parent, like a brother, like Hero.

And Aubrey's missed that. She's been alone for so long, and now she's not anymore. They put the photos back and she cries and she apologises, and Hero just accepts it. He acts like it's nothing, not blaming her like Kel and the people in the church did, acting like everything's the same as it was years ago.

Then, he asks to hug her, and that's... Well, that's a little too much. But they've made a start, and yeah, he's embarrassing, but he's still like a brother to her. And she's missed him.

So when he says that they should go check up on Basil, she agrees. Just like all the times in HS when Hero suggested they go somewhere, Aubrey agrees, and they all go off together, a group again.

In the good end, things start to get better. In the bad end, things get so much worse. In any version of the neutral end, things fall apart beyond any seeming repair. But through all of them, she sticks with the person she used to view as an older brother, who still treats her like his sister even after those four years of loneliness.

Hero & Kel:

Now, consider Kel's thoughts on the matter. Hero's always been his older brother, someone to look up to and ask for help from. But when Mari dies, it's Hero who falls apart. Kel doesn't know what to do, the source of comfort over the years for he and his friends having been left broken as a result of Mari's seeming suicide.

Hero blames himself, and Kel can't find a way to convince him not to. Hero doesn't speak to him, doesn't get out of bed, doesn't do anything for a year. Like with Aubrey, Kel didn't just lose Mari; he lost Hero as well. His older brother didn't act like a brother anymore, like Hero anymore, not in the slightest. And he wasn't there to help Kel, because Hero himself was in need of more help than anyone could provide him with.

Hero used to take pride in his appearance, knowing full well that he was considered handsome. Hero used to love baking and cooking, dedicating hours to the craft. Then, Mari died, and he stopped everything, not even taking care of himself, let alone Kel.

So Kel tries his best. He bottles up his feelings, acting like he's fine. He made new friends, tries to comfort Hero like Hero used to him, brings food to his brother's bed in the hope that Hero will eat more. Kel tries to be the responsible one, the stable one, the unfaltering pillar of support Hero had been for so many years.

But Hero doesn't respond to him. Kel and his parents try their best to be supportive and help, but Hero stays the same way. Hero had always been fine, charming his way out of problems and fixing anything that went wrong. And then he wasn't anymore.

And after a year, Kel had had enough, desperately trying to get through to him. He missed his brother, his best friend, and had reached his breaking point. His parents' focus was on Hero, his friends had all drifted apart, Mari was dead, Sunny never left his house- and Hero seemed to be gone forever too.

Mari wouldn't have wanted to see him like that, Kel knew, suicidal or not. He wished she would've talked to someone, confided in them- at least confided in Hero- but knew she still cared about them greatly, Hero and Sunny in particular.

But the mention of Mari meant that Hero had reached his breaking point, snapping in a way Kel had never seen before. Hero was supposed to be calm, stopping arguments when Kel got into them, always polite and considerate. A far cry from the Hero before him just then, furious and wild, yelling at him.

Insulting him. Some of what Hero said was really hurtful to Kel- especially since it was coming from Hero. His brother, the person whose own perfection made Kel feel a little forgotten, the person who Kel admired and looked up to more than anyone, said things that were meant to hurt.

Kel blocked it out later on, only remembering how much Hero cried. Hero used to be a source of comfort. Used to help him heal. Instead, Hero was hurting Kel and hurting himself and Kel didn't know what he did wrong.

He did everything possible to calm Hero down, the outburst unfamiliar. But Hero had been unresponsive for a year, bottling up every emotion regarding Mari's death, and Kel mentioning her completely smashed those bottles into smithereens.

And it scared him. Kel felt scared because Hero was collected and level-headed and smart and mature, someone to go to for advice who would always help him feel better, someone seen as 'perfect'. His brother. Then, Hero didn't seem like Hero the slightest bit anymore, and that was terrifying not only because of Hero's wholly unfamiliar rage being directed at him, but also because Kel felt like he was losing his brother more by the second.

Then, his parents rushed in and helped Hero, and Kel was still crying alone on the floor, then his brother hurried over to him and tried his best to help. Kel felt like a little kid again, but it was so, so nice to be hugged again. Hero was back to his senses, back to being a healer rather than hurting him, apologising profusely and that was more relieving than Kel could imagine.

After that, Hero's self-destruction slowed down. It never disappeared, not when he decided to become a doctor for their parents' sake, not when Hero stopped doing anything he loved to focus entirely on his studies, but at least Hero started taking care of himself again.

Hero became far more closed-off after that, Kel could still see his guilt. But he couldn't help out, terrified to repeat what happened last time and feeling awful for it. Hero worked incredibly hard but was still naturally good at everything, which Kel found himself envying a little even then. Hero excelled at everything... Expect for sport.

So Kel went to basketball practise. Kel did his best to do something, anything better than his brother for a bit of his parents' approval- and to be worthy of Hero's attention. Basketball players were tall, and Kel desperately wanted to be taller than Hero. Basketball required a lot of running, and Hero was far too unathletic for that. Basketball was a team sport, and Hero had been running solo for over a year by that point.

And still, Hero got so many more trophies than him without even trying. But Hero had no passion, and that was upsetting and frustrating to watch because Hero got the same achievements for doing things he used to love with a sort of mechanical detachment that was completely new to Kel.

But he's got his brother back. His healer, his protector, his brother. And Kel isn't going to anything to put that in jeapordy again.

[monocytogenes]

For Quinn x Isra!

What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered?

Who typically tends to initiate intimacy first (this can be a conversation, action or anything)?

Is there a word or gesture that makes either of them melt?

Gonna be some sexy stuff in here because this ship is Kink Central, so have a look under the cut:

What is something their S/O does that makes them flustered?

Quinn is really easy to fluster--he's canonically weird about public displays of affection and open sexytalk in general since he's basically an edwardian british officer in space, lol. Isra can make him blush and stammer with very little provocation; the more interesting angle of this question in regard to him, I think, is what makes him both flustered and horny, and that's more or less just "Isra being dominant at him in front of other people".

That includes such gems as: Isra pressing a hand against the small of his back, gripping him by the upper arm to direct him somewhere, resting her palm against his thigh, or draping a leg over his. (I've got another one as an answer to the third question below!) Sometimes it's as simple as her complimenting him in that tone; an admiring "good job" said just so can get him going.

Between her relative confidence and his politeness Isra flusters comparatively less often; she can still get a little out of sorts when he's more forward than she's expecting. They've definitely had moments where he's watched her best a bad guy and made some insane request afterward ("that kick was captivating; I'd kiss your foot for the privilege of it") and she's been like. Uhhhhhh. I wasn't in that headspace at ALL, let me. Figure out how we could do that safely.

(There was definitely a choking talk. One has to press the sides of the neck; she is not risking snapping your hyoid with the Force--)

Who typically tends to initiate intimacy first (this can be a conversation, action or anything)?

You'd think it be Isra, but it's actually a pretty even divide! He technically initiates their first time through a desperate, rambling declaration of all the things he'd like her to do to him; she initiates a second encounter through sort of jumping him on the bridge of her ship; there's another instance where he propositions her through volunteering to help her out of her armor, and so forth. I headcanon him having a slightly stronger sex drive than she does, actually--at least while he's in the process of working through all his loneliness and repression--so while she has fewer reservations about initiating, his neediness drives him to ask plenty of times, too.

Isra's definitely more flirty and physical in approach--she'll banter, tease, get all up on him. Quinn's more likely to couch the request in something superficially innocuous or softer forms of affection. Their kinky practices help him in this regard--he'll say something more groveling than usual, imply she ought to put him in his place, just ease a liiiitttle beyond his usual deference and she'll pick up that implication and run with it. It's a shared language between them, really, that arose naturally from their existing power differential.

Later in their relationship--and certainly in their marriage--intimacy becomes sort of a shared game or team project, largely consisting of Quinn coming to her with fantasies and her figuring out how to interpret them through the toolset of kink. They plan a lot of their encounters and (certainly at his insistence) schedule them, while still having a fair amount of impromptu sex kicked off by, say, Isra feeling him up with her foot under a table or Quinn cuddling with her in bed. I do think a substantial proportion of those spur-of-the-moment trysts consist of either her getting him off or him getting her off; Isra honestly doesn't come from penetration the majority of the time and they're not always mutually horny between long scenes, so one of them just caring for the other and enjoying the closeness is enough.

Is there a word or gesture that makes either of them melt?

In a sweet way: Isra loves when Quinn uses endearments, since he was so intent on addressing her formally until they got together romantically: "my love", "dearest", that sort of thing. She's not as saccharine personally, and knows he hates nicknames, so her corresponding endearment is "husband" after they marry. He doesn't think it should affect him, but it totally does when said tenderly.

In a horny way: Isra can always, always grasp Quinn by the jaw/cheek and turn his head to make him look at her to instantly turn his brain to mush. Considering how incredibly clothed he is most of the time, she finds it similarly erotic when he unfastens his jacket collar or shirt to show a bit of skin while making eye contact with her--it's something she explicitly told him she finds hot, and he's adopted it as a seduction technique since.