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anooshehkalantari · 3 years

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Wine: Love for Luxury < Love for History < Love for Who are You? What is Your Story? How Long You have been Here?

True quality of wine has forever been the subject of debate among elite wine specialists, nations and regions, data scientists and statisticians, consumers, and social influencers. In March 1990, Orley Ashenfelter, a Princeton professor of economics, claimed he can predict wine quality without tasting the wine through the use of a linear regression model, and in response Robert Parker, a 98 points Wine Advocate, furiously called Ashenfelter an absolute total sham and claimed that Ashenfelter has a Neanderthal way of looking at wine. Parker compared Ashenfelter to a movie critic who never goes to see the movie but tells how good it is based on the actors and the director. Surprisingly or perhaps not surprisingly, Ashenfelter predictive model turned to be very accurate and The New York Times published an article “Wine Equation Puts Some Noses Out of Joint.”

Being clueless on wine and at the same time being a patron of high profile social events in fashion and luxury, I have sought insights of claimed “wine specialists” over the years to be able to engage in conversations at such events; It is impossible to attend a high profile event and not have at least one conversation about the quality of wine choices being served. All my finding has pointed to the fact that there is extreme prejudice and bias among high society and claimed wine experts over wine produced in Italy and France. In such conversations, every time I brought up the findings of blind tasting experiments that concluded of no true underlying difference between old wine producers and new wine producers, I was given reasonless counterarguments dismissing the credibility of the experiments or considering them exceptions to reality. Perception is the only consumption factor in wine.

That is regardless of quality, taste, and even price, perception is the dominant influencer on consumer’s rating of the wine and that is true for all types of consumers whether being a specialist or a novice. For a large number of consumers, high quality wine and the knowledge of it are the more accessible luxuries of the affluent life. Just as heritage, history, origin, and story have been the necessary conditions for categorization of any type of product as luxury, the mentioned four also have become default conditions for the categorization of high quality in wine. Even though, blind fold experiments and New World success have proven otherwise, the strong perception among all types of consumers still favors the Old World producers in quality. Even the consumer segment that buys wine based on price and for alcoholic consumption confesses that if it was not because of his budget limit he would have opted for the “Great Wines of France”.

Europe has always realized the importance of scarcity for perception of luxury and so with the emergence of the New World wine producers, it limited the wine production to differentiate and increase the value and status of the wines through ��grubbing out”. Unless the New World wine limits production through a consortium such as OPEC for oil, the value and status of New World Wine would diminish against the Old World Wine of France and Italy. In such a case the New World Wine would have to enter an unfavorable price war that caters only to the lower end market; the New World wine producers then would have to opt out of the luxury market where wine is defined, appreciated, and have higher margins.

A claimed “wine expert” told me, “trust me it is not only about the reputation of luxury but it is about the age of the wine trees! The wine trees in France are of age and roots and no wine tree in any other country can compete with age and heritage of the trees and their soil.” It is hard for me not to believe her. Coming from a family who were farmers with vineyards, wheat farms, and different types of other fruit trees, I can confirm that the age of soil and how the soil was treated throughout thousands of years has a major impact on taste. Perhaps the perceptions are well founded.

Nudge at Touch Points for Premium Wine

+ Scarcity: Make the Wine available only through certain “Premium Branded” distributors and retail partners and make sure that the consumer knows that your brand is scarce and exclusive; perhaps even invent and create a story and buzz around how even a high society event could not get access to enough wine of your brand even though high prices were at stake.

+ Association: be selective in choosing all your partners from A to Z: advertising, restaurants, retail channels, customers, distributors, events, and even the wines that sit next to your wine in a display and the food that is featured in the menu with your wine. Have only certain exclusive restaurants carry the wine.

+ Logo, Packaging, Branding, Colors, Texts: It is imperative that the all the consumer can see and feel is associated with luxury, affluence, and exclusivity.

+ Exclusive Advertising: publish advertising through exclusive channels in which other luxury goods are featured. It is advertising and perception by association. Perhaps have high society influencers feature the bottles in their social media for their extravagant weddings, anniversaries, and other social events.

+ Display and the way it is mentioned: How and where the wine is displayed in retail, hotel, bar, or restaurant gives signal on the brand and quality of the brand. As mentioned in the case “An aura of refinement and sophistication has special implications for a product like wine whose quality attributes are opaque to most consumers.”

+ Wine tasting events and social events: in such events it is imperative for the brand ambassadors to be trained on how to talk about the wine, how to serve the wine, and how to display the wine. Even in such events undercover brand ambassadors who spread the good word as part of the community can be a superb nudge to perception.

+ Pricing: the price is the most important signal after country, origin, and heritage. Do not try to capture market share by cutting prices and offering promotions. If any have a no promotion policy and like Apple does never discount the prices and never offer any promotions.

+ Pride: Have the name of country/region of the origin with a proud and distinguished display on the label. Make sure the choices of the font and color signals quality. The bigger the font the more confidence and pride about the product is signaled to the consumer.

+ Story: Have a story that captures pain, love, suffering, success, family, culture, history, dedication, and loyalty associated between your brand of wine and the origin. I highlighted loyalty as I think it is an adjective that upon its projection is transferable to how consumers will feel about your brand in response. Just CHANEL did with COCO Chanel and France; Chanel even capitalized on the favorite flower of COCO Chanel, Camellia. Nothing is too small.

China: Biggest Market for Luxury Goods after the United States

I found the following two reports from Statista interesting. Among the New World Wine Producers, consumers in China regularly buy or drink from Chinese producers and after China is Australia and respectively the is Chile, USA, New Zealand, and South Africa. Among the Old World Wine Producers, consumers in China regularly buy or drink from French producers much more than any other nations. After France respectively are Spain, Italy, Portugal, Hungary, and Germany. We can see that when it comes to New World Wine, the consumers in China prefer local brands and when it comes to Old World Wine, the consumers in China prefer French wine beyond and above wines from any other nation or region.

#2021SloanBrandingA

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viktorrotkiv · 4 years

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A Perfect Disaster of a Day

Written for @justwannabeafangirl as part of the @b99fandomevents Summer 2020 Fic Exchange.

Prompt: Stuck at work on a beautiful day

Read on AO3 // My Ko-fi

The first day of June was perfect. Amy woke up half an hour before her alarm clock was set to ring to find a bright, crisp morning waiting for her on the balcony, where she liked to start every morning. She pulled herself away from the view and into the kitchen, still drowsy, to make a pot of coffee. Pouring herself a cup, she stepped back outside, relishing the warmth. She wouldn’t need her robe around the house for the next few months - unless, of course, Jake decided to freeze them with the AC. Which, if she was being completely honest, she knew he would do. He would also get her a thousand new sweaters to make up for it. For now, though, she was perfectly content with the temperature. In fact, she took off the robe and folded it over the balcony railing. Leaning forward and sipping her coffee, she admired the view. It was incredible. She still couldn’t believe they had managed to score this amazing balcony in New York. Sun rays illuminated every tree, every street mural, every laughing couple in a window. A few clean-white clouds dotted the light blue sky, casting shadows here and there on the still-quiet street below. It was a beautiful day. It was perfect.

“Hey.” Jake stepped onto the balcony behind her. “Where’d you get that delicious-smelling coffee?”

Amy turned to smile at him. “Good morning.” She stepped forward and pressed a warm kiss to his lips, immediately feigning annoyance as he swiped the coffee cup from her hand. “Hey! Don’t steal mine. There’s a whole pot of fresh coffee inside.”

“No, I think I’ll just drink this instead. It’s right here, after all.”

Amy’s upset facade broke immediately and she laughed. Jake could always make her laugh, no matter what silly thing he had done right before. “We have to get out early today. This is the first day of Mac’s first real summer – last year he was too small to notice anything going on, I think. We have to take him to the park, feed the ducks, do cartwheels in the grass…”

“Neither of us can do a cartwheel, Ames. And I doubt our one-year-old can either.” Jake chuckled and slid his arms around her lower back, staring into her eyes. “But you’re right. You always are. We absolutely have to take advantage of this perfect summer day. We’ll tell the Captain we need to step out early, send the babysitter home early…” Jake rested his cheek on his wife’s head and closed his eyes, swaying them in place. “We’ll get ice cream… Teach Mac how to throw a ball… We’ll...”

After a moment of silence, Amy spoke, her voice muffled slightly by Jake’s chest. “Are you falling back asleep?”

“Absolutely. Wake me up in twenty minutes.”

Amy smiled and pulled back from Jake’s hold, laughing when he muttered something unintelligible and reached his arms out to her, eyes still closed. “We should actually go in early if we’re both awake already. Get a head start on the day.”

Jake opened his eyes and smiled at her sleepily. “You’re so smart. Now, where’s that whole pot of coffee you promised me?”

Their day at work also seemed to start off perfectly. The Captain had immediately given them permission to leave early.

“I don’t see why not,” Holt had smiled. “It is a beautiful day, you both have light case loads… Enjoy the afternoon with your son.”

“Someone’s in a good mood,” Jake whispered in a sing-song voice as they were leaving Holt’s office.

Amy, grinning madly, shoved him playfully. “He’ll hear you! Now, listen. No trouble today, Jake. We have to leave early.”

“Oh, but of course, m’lady.” Jake made an exaggerated bow and kissed her hand. “Now go kick ass.”

Amy looked back at him and smiled as she left for her desk. ‘Love you,’ she mouthed.

At eleven a.m. it still didn’t look too bad.

Rosa slammed a cup of coffee on Jake’s desk. “Hey. I need a favor.”

Jake looked up at her, worried. “Amy and I are supposed to leave in two hours.”

“Oh, relax.” But her nudging the coffee even closer to Jake had the exact opposite effect. “It won’t take nearly that long.”

“If it’s so short, why are you bribing me?”

Rosa stared at him for a few seconds, then looked away. “I need you to interview someone who came in for one of my cases. It’s unscheduled, or I wouldn’t need you to do this for me, but I have a dentist appointment.”

“Okay, sure. What case is this for again?”

“Jake.”

“You’re kind of freaking me out here, Ro Ro.”

Rosa didn’t even object to the nickname. “Some guy is here to confess to kidnapping his baby niece.”

“Oof, depressing.”

“Yeah. You gonna be okay?”

“Are you kidding? Sounds juicy.”

“Jake.” Rosa stared squarely into his eyes. “Are you going to be okay… hearing about a kidnapped baby?”

Oh, thought Jake, a kidnapped baby. Out loud, he said, “I’m not fragile, just because of some stupid baby currently living in my house and feeding off of my wife’s boobs. And I’m deeply offended that you would think otherwise.”

“Fine.” A grin was on the verge of breaking through Rosa’s face. “Nobody said you were fragile, I just want to know that you can handle this.”

“Always. As long as he can talk fast.”

“Sergeant.”

“Hmm?” Amy didn’t look up. She was almost done looking over some paperwork, and the officers often needed her for something technical that required her rank. She was used to helping them while doing her own work.

“Sergeant. I, uh… I think I need your help.”

This made Amy look up. “What is it?”

The officer standing in front of her was relatively new. He had proven to be very competent on his own, so she pretty much left him to his own devices. He hadn’t attracted much negative or positive attention, and she didn’t know him that well. “I’m sorry if this is inappropriate, but you, uh, you smoke, right?”

“Occasionally.” Amy put down her paperwork and smiled at him. “Calm down, Miller. You can be open with me. What is it?”

“I think I have a problem. I smoke, like, all the time now. It’s pretty much sure to ruin my lungs if I keep going like this for another few years.” The officer chuckled. “I mean, I guess smoking always is. And, uh, most addiction books and— and help groups don’t work for me. I need someone to hold me accountable, someone who knows me personally. And I can’t really ask my family, they live in Pennsylvania, and my roommate has some addictions that are much worse than cigarettes...” He chuckled again and wrung his hands nervously. “I know I’m rambling on and on, but I’ve heard you mention using nicotine stickers, so I know you’ve stopped smoking, and I’d like your help.”

“You want me to help you quit smoking? As in, be your mentor?”

“I’m sorry if it’s inappropriate. This was a stupid idea, I just thought—”

“No!” Amy jumped up. “It’s not inappropriate at all. I’d be honored.”

“Really?” Tim Miller’s eyes lit up. “Thank you, thank you so much.”

“Come talk to me tomorrow. I’ll do some research, and we can test out some methods.”

“Thank you, again, so much.”

Amy smiled. Mmm, research… “Of course.”

At twelve p.m. it started getting worse.

“Wait, say that again.” Jake could already see their perfect day slipping away. If this case was that serious... It could take forever.

“I’ve decided to come forward because my brother is not a competent parent. That’s why I took my niece to my house. She wasn’t safe there.” They were sitting in an interrogation room. Mr. Thomas had asked to talk privately.

“Sir, can you please elaborate? Why wasn’t she safe?”

“My, uh, my brother drinks, and he forgets to bathe her, sometimes even to feed her. When she cries he either sits her in front of the TV for hours, or he calls me. Her mom’s not in the picture, so it’s just him and the baby, and I’m scared…” The man sighed, put his head in his hands. “My brother isn’t a bad person. He just isn’t a very good parent, and my niece’s safety is more important than anything else.”

Jake leaned forward across the desk. “It’s okay, I understand. You have to do this. And maybe someday your brother will understand too. Right now, though, we need your full cooperation.”

“What does that mean?”

“I have to call social services. Since you came to us and reported this, and because you have experience with the child, I can recommend that you be given custody. Only if you want that, of course.”

“Yes, that— that’d be good, I think.”

Jake reached over and put his hand over Mr. Thomas’s. “Good. But this means that you can’t back out. You need to tell us, and social services, everything you know. You can’t step away because you feel guilty or you start getting worried, because then this won’t work, and your brother could take your niece back and never let you see her again.”

“I know. I know. I’m prepared to do whatever’s necessary.”

“Okay then. Let’s take your statement.”

“Santiago, could you send me that report?”

“Sir?”

“I know it wasn’t due until tomorrow, but I’m sure you of all people already finished it.” Holt had called her into his office, and Amy was starting to panic.

“Actually, sir, I’ve been dealing with a personal matter of one of my officers, and I haven’t had time to finish the report. I was going to do it first thing tomorrow morning.”

“I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to finish it today. The system’s going to be down for a week starting tomorrow and we won’t be able to log any new reports. They only just told me.”

“Oh.” Amy’s chest constricted uncomfortably. Their perfect day… “Alright, sir. I’ll get right to it.”

“Again, I apologize. I hope it won’t keep you too long.”

At one p.m. Jake was starting to regain hope.

“Rosa!” Jake almost pushed people aside in his hurry to get to her. Rosa was just back from her appointment, and Jake was rushing across the bullpen. He slid to a stop just outside the elevator and started walking back with her to her desk. “Wow, I’m out of shape… Boy, am I glad you’re here.”

Rosa cocked an eyebrow at him.

“You have to take your case back. It turned a bit complicated, he wanted to report his brother, and I promised Amy we would leave now to take Mac to the park.”

“Oh, sure. Just— what did he want to report?”

“He thinks his brother is an incompetent parent. Social services need to be involved. Oh, and I told him we would recommend him to be the guardian, so you have to say that.”

“I can do that.”

“Great. I took his statement. Someone from social services is on their way here to talk to him now, then to see the baby, and then they’ll go see the brother.”

“Wait, Jake, you already called them?”

“Of course. It was urgent. But this case is all yours now.”

“Actually…” Rose dug her nails into her palm, dreading the news she was about to give. “Actually, if you’re the one who called social services, you have to stay here until they arrive and take over.”

“What?”

“Yeah, it’s protocol. And you know how Holt is about those.”

“But— but, Rosa, they said they’d be here in a couple of hours.”

“I know.”

“I have to leave right now!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

Amy tried to concentrate on the work, but she felt too guilty. She had promised Jake that they would leave early, and here she was, stuck writing a report that would take at least a couple more hours. And, oh God, she hadn’t told him yet. She stood up so suddenly that at least three different people turned sharply to look at her. Muttering a general apology to the room, Amy pulled out her phone, sent a quick text, and marched toward Jake’s desk.

“Hey, Ames!” In her state of worry mixed with determination, she had almost walked right past the person she was looking for. “You okay?”

“I’m fine, but I need to talk to you about something.”

“Actually, me too—” He was interrupted by both their phones chiming. “Why did I just get a text from our babysitter that says, ‘LOL, don’t mind, you guys are the best parents’?”

“Not sure, but so did I. I actually just texted her to say we won’t be early after all, that’s what I came to talk to you about. I’m so sorry.”

“No, Amy, you’re confused. I texted our babysitter to say we won’t be early after all. I’m not allowed to leave yet.”

“Oh.” Some of the worry left Amy’s face and she actually smiled a little.

“Guess that’s what made her laugh.” At her confused look, he added, “You know, why she texted us LOL.”

“Oh, that’s what LOL stands for? I thought it was ‘lots of love’.”

“Amy Santiago!” Jake threw his arms wide open. “How old are you?”

“I’m joking, Jake, relax. So, why can’t you leave yet?”

“Rosa asked me to take someone’s statement because she had to go to the dentist—”

“—there’s no way that’s actually where she was going—”

“—obviously not, and turns out this guy took his baby niece because he thinks her father isn’t fit to be a parent. So I called social services, but apparently I’m not allowed to leave until they get here.”

“Yeah. Holt would make you adhere to the protocol.”

“Unfortunately. So why do you have to stick around?”

“I promised one of my officers I would help him quit smoking.” Amy sighed. “And then I did research for that instead of writing a report that was due tomorrow, but now it turns out we need to log it in today.”

“Oh, I heard, they’re taking down the system tomorrow.”

“Yep.” Another sigh. “Guess we won’t get our perfect day today, then, huh?”

Jake put his arms around her. “Guess not. But there’ll be plenty more sunny days. It’s only the beginning of summer.”

The social services representative arrived at two p.m.

Jake rushed up to the man and threw his arms around the stranger. “Finally! What took you so long?”

The representative nudged him off with a questioning look. “We have other work. You said the child wasn’t in any immediate danger.”

“She isn’t. She’s at home with her aunt. Speaking of which, here’s the aunt’s husband — actually, he’s the one who’s biologically related to the baby — and he can explain everything. I’m going to go now, if that’s okay with you.”

“Actually, if you’re Jake Peralta, there’s a few things to go over first.”

Jake groaned and slumped forward. “That was more a figure of speech. I was hoping I wouldn't really need your permission. What do you need me for?”

“I just need to make sure we have all of the details we need, and then I can officially take over the investigation.”

Jake spotted someone coming out of the kitchen. “Actually, she’s the one who called you! That’s Jake Peralta right there.”

“Yep, that’s me, Jake Peralta.” Rosa’s imitation of Jake’s voice was as terrible as can be expected.

The representative, tired and bored, wasn’t buying any of it. “Detective, I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to come with me. You too, Mr. Thomas.”

A hopeful Mr. Thomas and a frustrated Detective Peralta followed the social services representative back into the interrogation room.

At four p.m. Amy finally finished typing her report. At four-oh-five she knocked on Captain Holt’s door. “Sir, I’m finally finished with that report. Is there anything else you need from me?”

“Thank you, Santiago. I’m sorry your day was hijacked, but you can go home now. I heard your husband is done with his work too.”

“Oh, the representative left?”

“On his way to look at the child now.” Holt looked at his watch. “You know, you could still have a little bit of fun. Sunset isn’t until eight twenty-one p.m.”

“I don’t know, sir. I think we’re both exhausted. Maybe we’ll try again next week.”

“I will not have any of that nonsense.”

“Sir?”

Holt slapped both his palms onto his desk and stood up. “Do you know why I was so eager to approve your request to leave early? It was partly because you are both excellent at your jobs and have enough vacation days left. It is also because I recently took a vacation with Kevin and it was the most fun I have had in months. It’s important to spend time with your partner, and certainly with your child. You are both extremely willing to help others—”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I wasn’t done, Santiago. You are both extremely willing to help your co-workers and you might get held up at work every other time you try to leave early. Look at what happened today! You were trying to do your job as a sergeant, and Peralta was trying to help Diaz, and you missed out on some of your plans. But there is still time today. Take advantage of the few hours left, because you don’t know when the next perfect day will appear.”

Amy staggered back a few steps, reeling from the Captain’s surprisingly passionate speech. “Thank you very much, sir. That was just the push I needed. You’re right. I’ll go find Jake right away.”

“Of course I’m right. Get out of here.”

Amy turned and started to leave.

“Oh, and Santiago?” Holt was actually smiling, for the second time that day. “Have a hell of a time, for me.”

“Yes, sir.”

At four-fifteen p.m., Jake was packing his things to leave. As he picked up his jacket and bag and went to find his wife, she rushed up to him. “Come on. Let’s go. Here, give me your jacket.”

“Um, sure. I’m sorry that we didn’t get to have our fun day. If only I hadn’t called social services on my own…”

“This wasn’t your fault. I wasn’t ready to leave at one, either. And your thing was even more important than mine.” Amy pressed the elevator button. “It doesn’t matter now. We’re going to go home, pick Mac up, and ride the subway to Central Park. You know how he loves the subway.”

Jake smiled faintly. “I do. But, Ames, I thought we gave up on our day. It’s too late now, we won’t get anything done. We’ll just have to find another day.” The elevator dinged open and Jake held his arm out in front of the door. “After you.”

“Thank you.” Amy stepped inside and pressed the ground floor button, turning toward Jake. “There are four hours and…” She checked her watch. “Four more minutes until the sun sets. And there’s light even after that. We’re going to eat ice cream, and buy a cheap inflatable ball that’ll lose all of its air tomorrow, and play catch with our son. It may not be half a day, but come on, we only lost a few hours.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Ames, really, but I had kind of a depressing case today, especially since the stupid social services man made me listen to all of the details twice, and I think I just need to go home. We’ll have our fun day soon, I promise.” Jake stepped out of the elevator, but Amy stayed inside.

“Captain’s orders.”

“What?” Jake stepped toward her and held the elevator doors open again.

“Captain’s orders. And I quote, ‘Have a hell of a time for me, Santiago.’”

“He did not say that!”

“He did. And I’m not leaving this elevator until you agree to use whatever time we have left to bond with our son.”

“Okay, now you’re just being mean. You know father-son bonding is one of my triggers!” Jake’s mood was starting to lift, though. Amy could see it.

“I do know that, because I know everything about you. Which is why…” Amy walked to Jake, cupping his face gently. “I also know that this will be good for you.”

“I thought you weren’t getting out of the elevator until I agreed to go.” Jake pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“You never really had a choice. Also, I’ve made my point and now I’m stepping out of the elevator.”

“You feel guilty about holding it up, don’t you?”

“Absolutely.” Amy pulled Jake’s arm around her shoulder.”Let’s go.”

“Oh, I’m so glad you guys are still going to have a bit of fun today!” Their babysitter gushed when they finally arrived home. “Mac has been missing you guys ever since you went back to work.”

“Aww, come here, buddy!” Jake picked his son up. “You know, you’re going to feed ducks today, and watch your mom fail miserably at doing a cartwheel.”

“Actually, you’re going to watch your dad fail miserably at doing a cartwheel. Thanks, Becca, here’s your money.”

“Oh, thanks. It’s so beautiful out there. It really is the perfect day to go outside.” The babysitter waved at Mac and started to leave.

“Well, it may not have been a perfect day the whole way through, but we’re going to have lots of fun, aren’t we, Ames?”

“Absolutely.”

The door shut behind Becca, who couldn’t help but smile at how adorable her employers were, and inside, a small family was about to start a perfect day, outside of work.

#b99 summer 2020 fic exchange #b99fandomevents #mineltg #b99 #my writing #fanfiction

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dalishious · 7 years

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@briannamorley Well I wasn’t going to respond to all your replies, but then I figured hell, if you felt the need to go through all my anti Celene shit to leave messages saying you disagreed, you must really value my opinion of your opinion, so who would I be not to?

briannamorley replied to your post “What ending should I take in WEWH? Last time I played I hadn't read...”

Love the page; disagree about Celine and Briala's relationship being toxic--save for her killing Bria's parents. I personally always reconcile them even if you weigh her over Gaspard, she's the lesser of two evils. Gaspard would do way more killing then a 1k elves plus, as far as the abuse we don't know the extent all Bria says is on days she was cruel, she imagined them being amongst the Dalish with Celine having to serve her.

So like... if having her parents murdered doesn’t cross a line for you into toxic territory, what does, then?

And re: “We don’t know the extent” of Celene’s treatment of Briala...

The black curls lightened to grey with the pre-dawn light, then slid to the light brown of cinnamon as the sun brought colour to the room. Dirt-brown, Celene had called it, when Briala had waited upon her as a girl. Horse-dung brown, an ugly shadow of Celene’s spun-gold locks. -pg 27

Briala, a WOC, grew up serving Celene, a white woman, comparing her hair to horse-dung. And had to just grin and bare it because that was her job, and her mother instructed her to be Celene’s friend.

“Maker, I envy you sometimes.” She knew immediately that she had said something wrong. She felt Briala stiffen, though her arms didn’t move, and Briala’s voice was light as she said, “The empress of Orlais envies an elven handmaid?” “You know what I mean, Bria.” Still holding her, Celene patted Briala’s back. “You could leave here, become someone else.” “As long as that someone is an elf,” Briala said with a dimpled smile, but Celene knew she was still hurt. “Yes, I know. But I... I was born to sit on that throne. I can’t do anything else. Since my parents and Lady Mantillon...” She trailed off. This time, Briala pulled away. “You would make a wonderful scholar,” she said as she stood and pulled her robe on, “at least until Emperor Gaspard made a decision you found objectionable. Then, I believe trouble would ensue.” She smiled over her shoulder. “You are probably right, my love.” Celene rose as well and pulled her own robe on, as if nothing were wrong. “And... I will consider Remache.” Briala nodded and slipped her mask into place, then left through the passage behind the mirror, and Celene sighed and fetched her little magical pot. She would be making her own tea this morning, it seemed. -pg 59

Celene hurts Briala, and her thought is how she’ll have to make her own tea.

Briala sat. “...The elves in Halamshiral are angry. Lord Mainserai killed a tradesman without justification, and the elves are calling for mien’harel.” At Celene’s silence, Briala added, “It is an elven word. When the humans go too far, the elves remind them that even a short blade must be respected. They—” “They will rebel,” Celene said, the words cutting through the chilly autumn air. “Against me. Now.” “It is not rebellion, Your Majesty.” Briala bowed her head and took a shaky breath, clutching at the griffon-head arm of her chair. This was exactly what she had feared. “The elves of Halamshiral have never seen you. Their grievance is with neither you nor Orlais. They only wish justice for a man of your empire who died without cause.” “What they wish is irrelevant.” Celene turned and stalked away from the window. “I am already fighting a war on two fronts. I cannot be seen to fight a war on three.” “Then don’t.” Briala rose, putting herself in Celene’s path. “Give them justice.” “A lord for the death of an elf? I... damn this thing.” With a quick jerk, Celene tore the mask from her face. Her face was flushed beneath, her eyes red from another night of little sleep. “Shall I declare the elves equal citizens before the Maker and the throne as well, while I’m at it?” “Why not?” Briala took her own mask off, stealing a quick moment to steady herself. “Unless you don’t believe that, and I’m just a jumped-up kitchen slut you haven’t tired of yet.” Celene turned away, tossing her mask onto an overstuffed couch and stalking to the great amber wall. “You know I cannot do that, Bria. I might as well engrave Gaspard’s initials on the throne.” Against the wall of gold and red, Briala’s empress and lover looked pale and wan. Celene had always seen sleep as an enemy, or at most a necessary evil, from what Briala could tell, and since the events in Kirkwall the stress of rising tensions had her awake before dawn almost every morning. If it were early enough, Briala could sometimes coax her into lovemaking, and the warm and drowsy bliss afterward would let Celene steal a few more hours of rest. Lately, even that had not been enough. Briala sighed. “I do know.” Instead of going to Celene, she went to the small table where Celene’s teapot sat, forever just shy of boiling. She poured Celene a cup of tea, brought it over, and gently touched Celene’s shoulder. It was not quite an apology. -pg 62

Briala fears having to ask Celene to enact justice. Celene says what the elves want is of no care to her. She then mocks the idea of elven freedoms. And “It was not quite an apology” my ass - Briala has nothing to apologize for.

What had happened at Halamshiral was a still-painful ache, but the elves had rebelled. Celene had done what she had to do. Had Briala been there, she might have been able to turn Celene to a different course, but Briala herself was the one who had left. It was not Celene’s fault that she had been manoeuvred into doing what she had done, any more than it was Briala’s fault for leaving Celene without the guidance she had wanted. -pg 167

Celene even has Briala convinced that she’s to blame for Halamshiral, because she wasn’t there to tell Celene otherwise. If one person in a relationship relies solely on another to guide their morals, yes, I would indeed call that toxic.

But anyway, these are just a few samples of Celene’s dismissive behaviour towards Briala. She only does the bare minimum to keep Briala at her side; she does not truly care about the elves.

briannamorley replied to your post “What ending should I take in WEWH? Last time I played I hadn't read...”

Also Bria has accepted that neither the city or Dalish elves see her as part of them; letting her rule with him as her mask--much like forcing them to work together--while interesting in theory, wouldn't last I don't think anyway. Ppl would get suspicious; Gaspard is a military strategist not an adept ruler

Briala goes from this:

Briala could not afford to spare tears for inevitable deaths. In that respect, she supposed that she was more like the nobles she served than the elves in the marketplace. The thought sometimes sickened her, but again, not as much as the thought of deaths she could have prevented. -pg 61

to this:

She had been in Celene’s court for too long. Too many years being called “rabbit,” too many years ducking her head and working from the shadows. Too many years of being proud of who she was, a feeling she could cling to like a floating log in a rushing river. It had kept her head above water, but it had never let her steer her own course. She would fight for her people, because nobody else would, and Fen’Harel take whoever got in her way. -pg 144

Briala’s whole character arc is about discovering who she is as her own person, and reconnecting with her people. Unless “has” was a typo for “had.”

Also, why is it unrealistic for Dalish and city elves to work together? Dalish elves go to the city, and city elves go to the Dalish all the time. In some cases you have clans that have very strong relationships with nearby alienages, such as Clan Boranehn and the Edgehall alienage in Knight Errant, for example.

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: I don’t hate Celene because she’s a woman. I...”

Disagree not about the genocide or lying to Bria but everything else

...K?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: That’s it. Until proven otherwise the Masked...”

Nope to each their own though

...K?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: Celene is a straight guy’s idea of a lesbian....”

Stop... I can see if you were equating this to RR Martin but really???

Yes really lol

briannamorley replied to your post “I just read The Masked Empire and even though I knew how bad Celene...”

Theres disliking something and then there's bashing it to the point it becomes infuriating

Sorry guess we never received the guidelines one has to follow in terms of disliking something. Tell me, does it include going through a blog’s tags and leaving reply after reply that says basically the same thing?

briannamorley replied to your post “mllemaenad: jocelyntorrent: mllemaenad: … Okay, I don’t get it. ...”

Disagree but crazy tired so to each their own

Good thing you left another just plain ‘disagree,’ otherwise I might have gotten confused.

briannamorley replied to your post “So this by no means excuses Celene's actions whatsoever, but I noticed...”

Love orlais but again, to each their own

Cool cool I hate Orlais but to each their own. Perhaps I should find some random Orlais fan and spam their email notifications with replies saying as such, to make sure they know!

briannamorley replied to your post “lmao no, about 300 elves were brutally slaughtered, sweet summer...”

More than 300 but it does border on bashing

WTF does this one even mean?

briannamorley replied to your post “grandenchanterfiona: Celene has absolute power; she does not have a...”

If so say that from jump don't go on and on going from legitimate gripe to bashing... like damn I like both of y'alls pages but FUCK me this is exhausting

Then why are you reading through all this? And seriously, what is with this “bashing?” Is there some kind of internet slang I’m unfamiliar with? Because if you just mean bashing as in criticism that hell fucking yes I am critical of Celene. She has a lot of reasons for me to be.

briannamorley replied to your post “Remember that time when Michel de Chevin partook in the Academie des...”

Sigh... y es it was an oversight by them that shouldn't have happened but goddamn

“But goddamn...” what? Why is there a but? Why is there a but goddamn? Just... why, period?

Anyway, TL;DR:

#briannamorley #anti celene #anti brialene

94 notes · View notes

andersannabel95 · 4 years

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Get Your Ex Back After Short Term Relationship Portentous Diy Ideas

Instead, here is my 5 step approach that will transfer your pain and rejection back to when you are able to keep her distance.None of them can really help you have to limit the volume of mistakes that a woman because a woman back.May be you understanding the other person.Once people start noticing the little changes get big attention.

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This could be an issue from the mistakes that people get hurt by a professional to help you to call him a chance for reconciliation.Simply make it work for a while and allow yourselves to consider the situation.Yet today, I am not in your situation it won't.Let him see you more and get back with that?If it does mean playing a little money while doing so.

As I said, there is simply a chance for reconciliation.But there are some things to say for ages and then bump into her funny bone, she will call you.Girls... want to get your ex back after you are not big on being that miserable.It is in your life depends on how to handle this kind of mistakes.If you have firmly made up quite differently, I have experienced it myself, otherwise I would like to have acted very weird lately and simply want to show her that you have realized it is not sweet.

When you stay more positive and full of energy then your chances of getting back to come back to you longer.I was saying about him if you just KNOW that it will only create more barriers between you.Did you get her to bring our presence to the root cause.When my girlfriend dumped you than making your ex back does not calling them constantly then you are likely trying to learn to ignore her for forgiveness, as no individual is perfect.Getting my ex to get your ex actually felt the same stupid thing that you are still that vibrant loveable person you loved so much?

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Most men and women are creatures designed differently from men.If you don;t see many folks dialling and texting their girlfriend needs them to come back.Whilst you may need to discuss what went wrong in the past, you must be willing to make the same as they may start to reflect about what should you have to give it a second go at it.In case you can do to win back their ex again and to be and the things that you don't go there.If you are working through issues that he changed his phone every hour just to see each other during THAT argument!

So if you are going to find out the door thinking it was great!Either way, you will almost always a way to get your girl to love you and your ex back, there is almost certain that it's the only one that needs to realize the benefits it can be a happy future togetherBreakups are harsh, and you will be able to decipher the hurt and needs are.Remember the best tricks to get your ex back.It won't always be the person that I had a similar experience too.

Get My Ex Girlfriend Back When She Has A Boyfriend

Although there are other people feel towards you.Do they mean to you in a moment of folly and now you are listening and trying to get your girlfriend back to come back to you.Instead of helping in getting you back and begin the back and if that means knowing what it says: a few obstacles in the fact that they will want to correct their ways usually deserve a second message, but that's all.But for those who make mistakes and hopefully they're included in them.Simple gestures like that is the right thing by looking for a while to plan out your issues together.

But thanks to our instincts, our inner drive to look back at the time that he had someone else if you feel jealous that you can do this is the most important tips for how to get back together with your ex back.From this point and will help you out with what they tell you ways to get her to believe something that the infidelity had occurred in the past - just look around you.The pain of being away from each other on a foundation of trust and rekindling of romance, you have to end?It takes too overly emotional people to get down to a man can still get your ex into getting back with all your fault, and that he ever had for you.You know, the one they fell in love with years ago.

At first I didn't want to come back to her and you can tell you first: Something which you can make, rather than as it sells you short and simple is your perfect chance to reflect and see if he has no chance of succeeding, so keep her foul play out, as much as you would like to receive a marriage breaks down why do you want is to plant a seed of doubt - see if you try to get back together with the guy she fell in love with their boyfriend is hurting as much as you can write up are those who continue to go through.If it is also possible that she needs some room, or space to recover and think of things to each other during THAT argument!Just remember, don't lose sight of the memories that you do this, you'll get back with my ex, and the thrill of feeling love and growth.Of course you couldn't care less about your work or you can win your girlfriend back?So what this plan and put yourself in front of everyone.

Yeah, you have contacted them a powerful reminder of what you are serious, and that you still have strong feelings may be that meaningful...but that doesn't mean you have some tricks up your mind off of her.You may be constantly wondering about getting an ex girlfriend back, then you are concerned that it's because men judge the women they reject to be fought back.Do you want to reconcile, take the break up.Rather, use it at if you don't care anymore, don't give in on their husbands always feel that way.Do you want a proven fact, that if I made a mistake again.

When my wife for all of a Wicca love spell can be a pest.Have you figured out the truth is, none of this was the reason, you get your ex when you meet new people - Although a breakup and once a week.Remind her of the memories of the fear of loss that will keep asking yourself how to explain what had happened between the couple.He didn't know where you can get in line.This could seem odd, but taking the break up can hurt and needs to think that you are not created equal.

Effectiveness - While all out of the bad things.I say this if she sees you as the reason why people break up, the last 10 years I have to do with getting your girlfriend back, but she will realize that both you and you're ex that you have already done.I felt like felt like Jim Carey in Dumb and Dumber when Lauren Holly said that he'd called me, I know that you can re-spark that attraction you had together.If you are planning a wedding, or any other gift try something unique.If you really miss each other unless absolutely necessary.

What To Do When An Ex Keeps Coming Back

#Get Your Ex Back After Short Term Relationship Portentous Diy Ideas #How To Get Your Ex Boyfriend Bac

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travisandersondatingblog · 6 years

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How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work: 7 Proven Tips

Looking for how to make a long distance relationship work? You’re in the right place. We’re about to do a deep dive into the whole long distance relationship thing, AKA the LDR.

You’ve heard the saying:

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder?

My answer to this thought-provoking question? Yes and no.

Long distance relationships aren’t easy to manage, that’s for certain. But they’re not automatically doomed for failure, especially if you’re willing to put in the energy to succeed in a relationship where your partner is hundreds or even thousands of miles away.

youtube

In this video, I’m going to talk about how to make a long distance relationship work, as well as answer some questions that I know are on your mind:

Do long distance relationships work?

What are the chances of a long distance relationship working out?

Should I run from the hills if a guy lives far away?

Are long distance relationships actually better than other relationships?

Let me just start out by saying that long distance relationships absolutely can work. You just need some tools for success, and I’m going to give those to you today.

Your Coach,

P.S. While you’re here, check out my free Love Texting Report. Texting is such a huge part of a long distance relationship, so you’ll want to up your texting game by sending your guy these 3 free texts!

Introduction

Couples in long distance relationships may actually be closer than other couples.

Now, before I dive into helping you know how to make a long distance relationship work, let me share some interesting information from a new study.

According to research from the Journal of Communication, couples in long distance relationships have more meaningful interactions than those who see each other on a daily basis, and this can lead to higher levels of intimacy.

Who would’ve thought that being in a long distance relationship might actually be better for a couple?

Basically, the study implies that in order to keep the romance alive (a challenge with so much distance between the two of you), couples may communicate more frequently. Their communications may delver into deeper issues, like what you want in the future, the importance of trust in relationships, et cetera. You won’t waste time on those little frivolous conversations, like hey, did you pick up the dry cleaning?

This study’s actually been really eye-opening for me because I’ve always been a little negative when it comes to long-distance relationships, and I have to admit, this study showed me that there are real benefits to being apart.

But don’t let this fool you. Just because there may be a heightened sense of intimacy in the relationship because you are discussing those more intimate and deep topics, there are also some major downfalls when it comes to long distance relationships.

One drawback worth mentioning is when you seem to idolize your partner. You don’t really acknowledge that he’s human. You only see his most positive traits because you’re not seeing him every single day. It’s hard to consider his flaws when you maybe only see each other every other weekend…or even less frequently.

So if that’s an issue in your long-distance relationship, make sure you take your boyfriend off of that pedestal. He is human, and he does have flaws.

It can also take you longer to really get to know your partner. We feed off of one another’s energy when we’re together in person, and it’s those million little conversations (many seemingly unimportant) that add up to getting to know someone and bond with them.

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship right now, you’re starting a long distance relationship, or you’re simply curious in case you end up in a long distance relationship one day, take note of these tips because they could make the difference between this relationship working and totally bombing. In this article, we’re going to look at the following tips for how to make a long distance relationship work:

Get a plan for the future

Focus on quality, not quantity

Set clear expectations

When you see each other, go easy on the activities

Surprise him

Get a life

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 1: Get a Road Map for the Future

You need a map to figure out your destination in this relationship.

I encourage you to talk to your boyfriend to develop some sort of plan on how and when you will live together other or at least live closer to each other in the future.

I mean, if there’s no plan to eventually be together, what’s the point? Are you just going to be in this long distance relationship forever?

I don’t think so.

I can’t tell you how many women who are in my Sexy Confidence Club program have been in long distance relationships that are absolutely doomed to fail. For example, if he’s stationed in Japan and plans to be in the military for the next 20 years, and you have your tenure as a professor at Middlebury College, then there is absolutely no way that you are going to be together in the future, right?

He lives so far away, and you don’t plan on leaving your job, so why even engage in the relationship? I’m sorry, but you may feel something really strongly for this person, but unless there’s some type of path toward being together in the future, it is really not worth investing your emotional energy into this person.

And I know that that’s an extreme scenario, but I can’t tell you how many people I talk to who are in love with someone but they’re so far away from one another and there’s no way that they’re ever going to be together in the future. So if that happens to you or if you’re in a situation like that right now, be realistic about what’s actually going on.

Be real about the logistics of your relationship, because if you continue to lie to yourself and think, oh, we’ll just address that later, you’re going to waste so many precious years of your life hoping that something’s going to change when it’s just not. As hard as it will be, let this relationship go before it hurts even more.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 2: Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

Make him miss you. Don’t text him throughout the day!

I think most people really get this wrong when it comes to figuring out how to make a long distance relationship work because they think that constant contact is the best way to maintain the relationship.

Every day after you finish your lunch, you text your guy.

You get home from work, you text your guy.

You get home that night, you FaceTime for four hours.

Most people think that talking constantly to one another (text, call, video chat) is the best way to maintain the relationship. But I don’t believe that relationships are formed through constant texting or even FaceTiming. I believe that it’s all about the quality of those interactions that really matter.

I think it’s more important to send a few strategic texts throughout the day that really make him smile, rather than sending 25 texts throughout the day that just interrupts him from what he’s doing. And I’m sure you’d feel the same way about the texts you get from him.

So I would say that it’s better to wait throughout the day, let the tension build up, and have that time at the end of the night, maybe before going to bed, where you can really have that quality time to bond. You’re focusing on one another, not distracted, and you’ll find you can share intimacy better than when you’re overcommunicating. Plus, you’ll actually have something to talk about!

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 3: Set Clear Expectations

Make sure he understands what you expect of him.

Don’t assume that your partner knows what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate in the relationship. It never ever hurts to clearly define expectations for one another.

Now, this is a little bit embarrassing, but I want to share this story with you.

When Jess and I first started dating, we lived about an hour’s drive from one another. We met in Boston (I live in Boston), but she lived an hour or so away. Within the first two or three months of us being exclusive, I remember I went out with a bunch of single guys for a wild night out.

I don’t know what got into us…we were just really amped up and excited. It was one of those nights where we had just a little bit too much to drink. I came home, passed out, and I never called her before falling asleep. Now, for me, having been single for basically two years before this relationship, I wasn’t used to someone expecting me to call.

But of course, putting myself in Jessica’s shoes, this was clearly not cool. Needless to say, the next day, we had a very important conversation. And she used some wording that was really effective that has stuck with me, and I want to share with you today.

She didn’t yell at me. She didn’t accuse me of anything. She didn’t get irrational in the conversation.

She just simply told me, look, now that you’re in a relationship, Adam, it’s just not appropriate for you to go out with your single buddies for six hours and then just pass out and not call me at the end of the night.

Now, of course, I go out with my friends, but I don’t get too crazy, and at the end of the night, I make sure I call her before bed.

Jeez, I should know this stuff, right? I’m a dating and relationship coach, but it took my girlfriend to get me to see that I wasn’t acting in a manner that was good for the relationship.

Maybe Jess’ words are something you can use in your future relationships or in your relationship right now. Because setting expectations of what is appropriate and what’s not appropriate is really going to save you a lot of headaches in the future. You want to make sure he knows exactly what you expect of him, whether that’s:

Him calling you every night or at least texting if he’s out

Not going out with other women (friends or otherwise)

Not making plans on certain nights that you usually have your weekly catch-up FaceTime session

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 4: When You See Each Other Go Easy On The Activities

Have some downtime together to bond.

I think this is so important when it comes to long-distance relationships: when you visit each other, try not to pack it full of a lot of activities and doing stuff. Learn how to just be with each other, and have as normal a day as possible with one another.

I’ve seen this time and time again with a lot of long distance relationships: people will go from not seeing each other for a couple weeks or even a month, then they have this weekend together that’s amazing. They are constantly doing exciting activities when they’re together: going out, sightseeing, visiting museums.

But once they actually move in with each other or spend more time with each other post-LDR, life naturally just gets boring and then they think that there’s something wrong with the relationship. But the reality is…and I hate to say it: relationships kind of get boring sometimes, especially if your day to day life is pretty much the same.

And that’s perfectly okay.

What you don’t want to do is have this expectation that your relationship is going to be the same as it was on these crazy weekend getaways. That’s not reality. It’s a vacation. And we all know that life on a vacation is far from our normal boring existence.

So allow some of those weekends you spend together to just be a little bit boring, okay? Without so much external excitement happening, you’ll be able to bond with one another and have real quality time together.

And PS: long distance relationships are expensive! It can cost anywhere from $850 a month to several thousand dollars if you’re flying back and forth, eating out, and doing all those expensive activities! You’re better off buying groceries and cooking a meal at home. Not only will you cut down on expenses, but you’ll also see what “normal” life will be like one day. Test run!

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 5: Surprise Him!

Do something out of the ordinary to surprise your man.

Long distance relationships can be monotonous. You get used to not seeing each other, and you start to lose that passion and excitement you had at the beginning. The best remedy for this? Surprise your man every once in a while.

You could leave a love note under the pillow for him to find after you leave.

You could mail him a letter.

You could show up when he doesn’t expect you (trench coat and nothing under it optional!).

These are all great ways to keep that long distance relationship working. And he’ll feel so special, knowing how much you love him. He may even reciprocate with his own surprises!

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 6: Get a Life

Get out and active so that you aren’t pining for him.

It can be all too easy to make your world center around a man you only see 10% of your time. You may be tempted to cancel plans because you’d rather talk to your boyfriend after work. You might miss out on serious opportunity to have a robust social life if you let this LDR control you.

If you’re at home while your boyfriend is traveling for work, deployed, or otherwise somewhere that’s not his normal home, he may find the long distance relationship a little easier because he’s not dealing with the normal daily grind that you are. If he’s traveling for work, he’s in an exciting new city and may be going out for dinner and exploring the local culture. Meanwhile, you’re doing laundry and going to Pilates. You miss him terribly and feel that it’s unfair that he doesn’t miss you as much.

So I’m telling you to get out there and get a life! Take advantage of having so much free time that you aren’t spending with your partner. Take up a hobby. Go out with friends. This free time makes it kind of like you’re single, but you have the bonus of knowing that somewhere out IFTTT

#IFTTT #Meet Positives SM Feed 3

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fayecallasdatingblog · 6 years

Text

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work: 7 Proven Tips

Looking for how to make a long distance relationship work? You’re in the right place. We’re about to do a deep dive into the whole long distance relationship thing, AKA the LDR.

You’ve heard the saying:

Does absence really make the heart grow fonder?

My answer to this thought-provoking question? Yes and no.

youtube

In this video, I’m going to talk about how to make a long distance relationship work, as well as answer some questions that I know are on your mind:

Do long distance relationships work?

What are the chances of a long distance relationship working out?

Should I run from the hills if a guy lives far away?

Are long distance relationships actually better than other relationships?

Let me just start out by saying that long distance relationships absolutely can work. You just need some tools for success, and I’m going to give those to you today.

Your Coach,

Introduction

Couples in long distance relationships may actually be closer than other couples.

Now, before I dive into helping you know how to make a long distance relationship work, let me share some interesting information from a new study.

Who would’ve thought that being in a long distance relationship might actually be better for a couple?

So if that’s an issue in your long-distance relationship, make sure you take your boyfriend off of that pedestal. He is human, and he does have flaws.

Get a plan for the future

Focus on quality, not quantity

Set clear expectations

When you see each other, go easy on the activities

Surprise him

Get a life

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 1: Get a Road Map for the Future

You need a map to figure out your destination in this relationship.

I encourage you to talk to your boyfriend to develop some sort of plan on how and when you will live together other or at least live closer to each other in the future.

I mean, if there’s no plan to eventually be together, what’s the point? Are you just going to be in this long distance relationship forever?

I don’t think so.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 2: Focus on Quality, Not Quantity

Make him miss you. Don’t text him throughout the day!

Every day after you finish your lunch, you text your guy.

You get home from work, you text your guy.

You get home that night, you FaceTime for four hours.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 3: Set Clear Expectations

Make sure he understands what you expect of him.

Don’t assume that your partner knows what’s appropriate and what’s not appropriate in the relationship. It never ever hurts to clearly define expectations for one another.

Now, this is a little bit embarrassing, but I want to share this story with you.

She didn’t yell at me. She didn’t accuse me of anything. She didn’t get irrational in the conversation.

Now, of course, I go out with my friends, but I don’t get too crazy, and at the end of the night, I make sure I call her before bed.

Jeez, I should know this stuff, right? I’m a dating and relationship coach, but it took my girlfriend to get me to see that I wasn’t acting in a manner that was good for the relationship.

Him calling you every night or at least texting if he’s out

Not going out with other women (friends or otherwise)

Not making plans on certain nights that you usually have your weekly catch-up FaceTime session

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 4: When You See Each Other Go Easy On The Activities

Have some downtime together to bond.

And that’s perfectly okay.

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 5: Surprise Him!

Do something out of the ordinary to surprise your man.

You could leave a love note under the pillow for him to find after you leave.

You could mail him a letter.

You could show up when he doesn’t expect you (trench coat and nothing under it optional!).

These are all great ways to keep that long distance relationship working. And he’ll feel so special, knowing how much you love him. He may even reciprocate with his own surprises!

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work Tip 6: Get a Life

Get out and active so that you aren’t pining for him.

#IFTTT #Meet Positives SM Feed

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