#i will not be parasocial i will not be parasocial i will not be parasocial i will not b

[halforcdad]

i remember begrudgingly getting into ncis: hawaii bc the youtube algorithm would not stop recommending me kate and lucy videos no matter how much i ignored them. i didnt know then that i'd find a pairing and a show that would mean so much to me.

this cancellation is not the first and it won't be the last, but it has left me particularly and extremely heartbroken.

kacy means a lot to me. it's the first ship that's made me feel something in a long time, maybe since high school. ill never forget the genuine excitement, the heartache, the happiness, they made me feel, especially in season 1. ill never forget this show and the ʻOhana i never knew id get so invested in.

i look back in my drafts and i still see posts i never finished about s2 and stuff i had yet to post about s3. i still had so much to say about the show. and they still had so much to give us. its a damn shame that they weren't even given a goodbye season.

was it shitty, corny copaganda at the end of the day? yes. was the writing sometimes rushed and nonsensical? absolutely. did they waste a whole season developing a character that had nothing to do with the core cast? you bet. but the cast and crew didn't deserve such a cruel, untimely cancellation without a chance to say goodbye (especially for shows that include a nasty dude who assaults his costars). the human aspect of it all is painful on its own. the show wasn't perfect at all, but it had heart, it had a good cast and crew, and i know i will miss it terribly.

most of all, i'll miss all the good times i had posting about the show and talking about it with everyone here. it's led me to meet some special people that i'm eternally grateful for and reignited a creative passion in me i haven't felt in a while. I'll always remember kacy and hold them dear in my heart. but I won't be giving up on them any time soon. even after the show ends, ill still be here, going insane over them and all the possibilities we won't get to see. kacy gave me such hope and happiness for the future, and i hope everyone keeps that spark alive.

[cellbitupdates]

May/Future updates (aka what Cellbit discussed at the start of stream today)

Figured I'd do a summary post with some of the stuff he talked about today, particularly schedule changes & length of streams, where he'll be streaming, etc. etc.

Because his contract will be up and he's feeling really stressed with ordem & enigma do medo work (and needs personal time with loved ones), he's going to be doing shorter streams, like he's been saying for a while now. He said he'll be aiming for 4 hours but it'll depend, sometimes it'll be longer, sometimes shorter.

He also plans to take more breaks and will likely take more days off during the week.

Again, since his contract will be up with Twitch, he might stream elsewhere, but he will continue to stream on Twitch, he just might simulcast on YouTube etc. to feel things out.

He's feeling really stressed, like I already said, and doesn't want to get to a point of being completely burnt out or getting upset with his audience. He said he thought about taking a two week break once his contract is over but he decided he probably won't (although if he does take a break sometime in the next couple months or so, I would not be surprised).

He does not want people to baby him over this. He's an adult, he chooses what to put on his own plate, and it's his decision to make his schedule so busy, which is why he's now adjusting things to make everything less stressful. He does not want people telling him off for it or acting like they personally know him and need to be super worried about him. Don't be parasocial.

In terms of other content coming up, he's going to announce something tomorrow (not a new ordem season or anything that big, just something they've been working on for a bit). He also is going to be in a friend's let's play series of some kind of game, and he said it was really fun and he's looking forward to people seeing it. He'll wait to talk about it until they announce it.

He basically did a little Q&A about Enigma do Medo and talked a little about development stuff, I believe it started about 4 hours into the stream.

I think that's all the important things, but if you have any clarifying questions, you can let me know. Tl;dr he's stressed as hell and wants to do less streams for his own health and to lessen the load of everything he has going on.

[chicago-geniza]

Cheers to the absolutely ancient man who called our bookstore zooted to hell and back on prescription painkillers, cheerfully informed me he had five "serious surgeries" on his back for hemiplegia, then became distraught when we could not send him a translation of Thomas Aquinas that has been out of print since 1948

[hannie-dul-set]

STAR STUDDED BAGGAGE [3].

SYNOPSIS. the saying “never meet your idols” exists for a reason. you just didn’t expect the reason to be because said idols would end up declaring that you’re their alleged lover from a past life (past lives, rather). now you have three big celebrities vying for your attention, and it’s not as dreamlike as you imagined it to be.

PAIRINGS. choi yeonjun, choi soobin, choi beomgyu x female! reader. GENRES. reincarnation! au, celebrity! au (soloist! yeonjun, actor! soobin, rock band member! beomgyu), slight college! au, slight historical! au, rom-com, angst, reverse harem woohoo. WARNINGS. swearing, talks about stalking, talks about death, data privacy violations, so much emotional whiplash yummy, a very long conversation, google dependent historical information. WORD COUNT. 6.3k.

NOTE. this chapter finally made its way out hell 😭😭😭 per usual, please let me know your thoughts on the chapter! a single comment on ao3 inspired me to finish this, so ur feedback really means a lot! enjoy<3

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 3 — can we go back to being parasocial?

IF SOMEONE HEARS YOUR SUMMARY OF THE EVENTS THAT UNFOLDED WITHIN THE PAST FEW DAYS, they may accuse you of lying. Delusional, even. You’d think the same had you not been the center of it all— yet the proof is in your pockets. Your phone. In the album Choi Yeonjun failed to sign, stuffed inside your bag at the last minute before you left your apartment earlier.

The summary. Right. Yes.

“Can they stop sharing that video of Yeonjun excessively flirting with a fan?! I’m going to kill myself if I see it one more time.”

You were lucky enough to nab a fansign slot. But instead of getting Choi Yeonjun’s signature, you ended up getting a kiss of a hand instead, along with a scrawl of numbers on your album that you’re far too terrified to try to dial.

“Hey, send me our photo with Soobin the other day,” nudges Huening from beside you. “I’m gonna print it out and put it in a locket and use it as a family heirloom.”

You bumped into one of your favorite actors, Choi Soobin, in the middle of a late night convenience store run with your friends to fuel your group all nighter, stained his shirt with your ice cream, and got a photo with him in the process.

“By the way, have you called the business card yet? What are you gonna do with your broken phone screen?”

And Choi Beomgyu may or may not have professed his undying love for you, asked for your hand in marriage, and started crying in front of you in less than ten fucking minutes.

“She’s zoned out.”

The problem is, you can’t even bask in the delightful absurdity of it all because one common thread from all those three separate instances has been keeping you up for nights. It’s clawing at your brain, lingering in the back of your mind like an incessant stalker— which, mind you, is not a pleasant feeling when the very causes of such disturbance were once the bringers of joy and all things good in your otherwise meaningless life as a cog in the capitalist machinery that is society.

“Hello? Are you awake?”

Said problem being the fact that you’re pretty sure they all called you by your name at one point.

How the fuck do they know your name?

“I deleted Twitter. I Airdropped it to you. No, I have not called it yet. Now please let me think in peace.”

Crazy. This is all too crazy. In the first place, what are the odds that you bump into three celebrities within one week’s time? Is this some sort of prank, or something? Are those three filming a hidden camera show together? No, no. That couldn’t be because there’s no fucking way a company is sane enough to stage a risky hidden camera prank during a fansign knowing full well how obsessive and insane fans can get. You’re lucky your face wasn’t caught in any of the videos circulating online— video of you and Choi Yeonjun, mostly him, acting out a fucking sageuk. You’re lucky you haven’t been doxxed yet.

“Finish your sandwich,” Taehyun clicks his tongue, nudging your food closer to you, and you sigh heavily. Maybe you’re just wrong, you think, taking a bite from the bread. Maybe this is just a misunderstanding. Maybe you’re just overthinking.

You eat your lunch and steal some wet wipes from Gaeul in between. Right. It’s not like you’re ever gonna bump into them again. You live in, as cliche as it sounds, two different worlds after all. You’re just gonna watch their dramas, listen to their music, enjoy their performances, and that’s it that’s it that’s it.

“Prof Jang sent a message. Class is canceled.”

But still—

“Woohoo! Let’s go to the new dessert shop that opened downtown.”

Choi Beomgyu’s voice saying I love you, Choi Soobin’s cologne wafting in the air you were breathing in, and Choi Yeonjun’s lips pressed against your skin.

How can a sane person just forget about all of that?!

“Why do you look like you’re fantasizing about perverted shit?” Woohyun slaps you in the face with a reality check. This is fucking stupid.

“I’m not fantasizing,” you grunt, because they were events that actually fucking happened— they weren’t birthed from your brain’s insanity. “Anyway, dessert? Where is it?” You ignore your burning face, hoping that your friends decide to ignore it too, but Gaeul has her eyes narrowed at you. Crap. She didn’t recognize that it’s you in the videos right? Holy fucking hell, you’d rather die.

“Aren’t you gonna answer that?”

Oh. Well. That’s— that’s something. A good something because she hasn’t suspected you yet, moitioning instead to your cracked phone that has been buzzing under your notice because you’ve been thinking way too fucking much.

You check the caller ID, but it’s an unknown number, and it doesn’t match the business card you got from your run in with the alleged Choi Beomgyu. “Hello?” you answer, and a voice you don’t recognize says your name and asks if it’s you. “Yes, this is her. Who’s this?”

Another item added to the weird as fuck things that happened to your this week. You excuse yourself from your friends, and with knitted brows, you listen to the stranger at the other end of the line. “You met Choi Soobin the other day at a 7-Eleven in Gangnam, right?” The fuck? Did someone see you that day? Is this a stalker? “This is his manager. Lee Byeongho. I would like to speak with you regarding a certain matter.”

Now, hold the fucking phone.

“Is everything alright?”

You respond to Huening’s concern with a stiff smile before turning away from them. “Did I do something wrong?” you fuss into the call. “I didn’t post any of the photos from that day. I never talked about it online either, and I’m pretty sure my friends haven’t either. Wait. Wait a minute. How did you get my number?”

“Yes, it was difficult to obtain knowing only your first name and university.” That doesn’t answer your question. That just gave you more questions. “But, no. You aren’t in trouble. Actually...I called because you’re the only one who can help us— help Soobin— get out of trouble.”

Your face scrunches up.

“I’m at your campus right now. Parking lot. Do you mind meeting me for a moment?”

Just what did you get yourself into?

“You haven’t finished your food. Where are you going?”

“Somewhere,” you reply, quickly snatching your half-eaten sandwich from the table as your friends follow your swift movements with matching looks of confusion. “I’ll be right back. It’s nothing, don’t worry.” However, you are quite worried. You’re pretty sure Lee Manager, or whatever, is committing some data privacy crimes against you, but the one thing you want at the moment is answers. Your brain is about to explode from all the fucking questions and confusion. There’s a sliver of hope that meeting up with this sketchy guy can answer a few of them. You’d take that chance to air out your head.

There’s a black van in the parking lot. It’s the first thing you noticed because one of its doors are open, and there’s a familiar looking guy waiting just in front of the exposed seats. 

He notices you approaching. “It’s nice to finally meet you,” he says. What’s with men you’re meeting for the first time treating you with familiarity? You’re going to rip your hair out and throw yourself into moving traffic.

“Sure, but can you get to the point?” you stiffly say. “I’m a little busy. I still have classes in a bit.”

“Of course, I’m sorry. This whole situation must’ve come off as a shock to you.” Great, now you’re feeling bad. Soobin’s manager (allegedly) looks like he’s been through a whole lot as well. “Anyway. You are a fan of Choi Soobin, correct?”

“Well,” you blink. “Yes.”

“How about the dramas Kang Jaehee has written and directed?” he follows up. “Are you a fan of those as well?”

Your brows furrow. “I guess?” Peach Tree. That Summer. Mogi. Those are the titles that come right at the top of your head. “What does that have to do anything with me?” Manager Lee spares you a look of pity. You feel like this meet-up is just set out to making you even more fucking confused.

“I sincerely apologize. I didn’t want to drag you into this either, but I’m afraid you’re the only option I have,” says Manager Lee despondently. “Since...since you are a fan of Soobin, and I assume that means you also care about his career, so—”

He pauses. Like he’s practicing the next set of words he’s about to say inside his head.

“—do you mind meeting up with him to convince him to take the lead role for Kang Jaehee’s upcoming drama?”

But nothing could’ve prepared you for that.

What.

What the fuck?

“Mr Manager. Sir,” you start, appalled beyond comprehension. “I’d appreciate it if you start making a bit more sense.” 

“Trust me, I can’t believe I’m doing this either.”

You’re speechless. Your mouth is hanging open with no words coming out because, again, what the fuck? Manager Lee looks just as defeated as you, as if he weren’t the one who had just presented that ridiculous proposal. You are, quite frankly, at a discernible loss. 

Manager Lee lets out a sigh and digs a hand into his pocket. “I’m afraid this is all the time I have today. But please contact me once you’ve made a decision.” Another business card acquired. This is just dandy. “I am really hoping for your cooperation, miss. I’m sure you’re aware of Soobin’s inactivity lately, and my intention of approaching you today is simply in order to help my star’s career. Please consider the favor positively, and we will compensate you as much as my authority can allow.”

With that, you’re left with another laminated piece of paper in your hands. Gosh. This is a headache. When you get back to your friends, they notice the distress you’re in, further justifying a visit to the new dessert store, and seeing how your soul has completely left your body, you’re dragged along with them with ease.

“Hey, pick one. My treat,” says Woohyun. You let out a grunt and point at a random pastry on display. Next thing you know, you’re seated in between Huening and Gaeul at the store you don’t even know the name of. 

Huening is force feeding you an eclair. “Eat.” Your scowl disappears when you allow the eclair entry into your mouth. “Seriously, what’s going on with you? Who did you meet earlier?” 

Seeing as you show absolutely no intentions of telling them, they refuse to question you about it further. Good on them, because there’s no way in hell you’re spilling your predicament. Not until you find out exactly what kind of situation you’re in, at the very least. The two business cards feel like they’re weighing your pockets down, a constant reminder of their existence along with the scrawl Yeonjun left behind.  

“I know exactly how to make you feel better.”

The declaration comes from Gaeul, who slides her phone over to you, and when you look down to see what exactly her miracle medicine is to make you feel less manic, you hack out a cough upon seeing Choi Yeonjun’s face on her phone screen. “The hell is wrong with you?” asks Taehyun from across, giving you some water to push down the eclair lodged in your throat. “I know you like him, but even that is an overreaction.”

Jesus, you’re close to losing it. When you’ve avoided choking to death, Gaeul puts an airpod into your ear, and you hear Yeonjun reading out some comments. “Choi Yeonjun, you look really happy lately, did something good happen? someone asked,” he says while having snacks of his own. “First of all, why are you calling me Choi Yeonjun? It’s like you’re putting a wall between us. I don’t like it.”

Gaeul makes a noise of some sort and had you not been subjected to this week’s insanities, you might have reacted the same way too. Instead, you simply listen to his live in caution, feigning disinterest as you watch him nibble on some pretzels and churros through the screen, continuing to answer the slew of questions in the comments.

“Anyway, you’re right! Something good did happen.” Yeonjun hums while picking out a pretzel from the paper bag, rustling noise and a lively tune filling the audio for a moment— a short moment, right before he continues speaking. “That’s because I finally met the love of my life.”

Taehyun has to give you his water again.

“Oh? Oho, what’s with the exclamation points?” he laughs. “Did I meet them the other day? Hmm...that’s a secret. You’re curious? You think it might be you? Well, let’s see. Should I describe her?”

“God, he’s so fucking messy,” says Gaeul from beside you. “This is why I like him. How many calls is he getting for his manager and company this time?”

“What’s going on? Why is she so startled?”

“Yeonjun’s talking about his apparent soulmate, I don’t know. Wanna listen?”

“Didn’t he get in trouble for doing the same thing last time too?”

Now, you’re not one to give a shit about his love life, and you like to stay out of that side of celebrity gossip as much as you can, but Choi Yeonjun himself is droning on about the love of his life right now. You can’t not hear about it even if you want to. However, as much as you want to let things come into one ear and out through the other, you can’t. Because— wait. Wait. His description is eerily familiar. His description is making you double take and second guess what you’re fucking hearing.

“Sounds a lot like you,” Taehyun remarks without much thought, right after Choi Yeonjun says that the girl he likes has a bit of an attitude, but he likes that about her.

Huening lets out a snort. “Yeah, that’s definitely you. Why don’t you go in a wedding dress the next time you attend a fansign? Who knows, you might have a shot.”

You snap them a dirty look. Fuck. This is making your head spin. For the second time, Choi Yeonjun’s tendency of putting himself into headlines and the trending searches for doing something insane is giving you nothing but stress.

“I did give her my number, but she hasn’t messaged me yet, so I’m quite hurt.”

Number. Hold on a fucking second.

“The comments are going crazy.”

You grab your bag from underneath you, dropping it down to your lap.

“Hey, if you’re watching this, pl—eeeeease contact me. Kim Noona thinks I have a phone addiction now because I’ve been dying waiting for your call.”

You quickly get up from your seat.

“Yo, where are you going this time?”

“I need a minute,” you announce, eyes scanning the store for a quiet place alone while hugging your bag to your chest. There’s nowhere. Looks like you have to get out. 

“Damn, we were just joking. As if you have a chance with a celebrity like him.”

Huening’s joke is ignored and you quickly leave outside the doors, making a sharp turn around the corner, slipping through the passersby downtown until you find an empty alley. Your heart is racing. Your heart is racing like crazy and you may be reaching right now. You may be acting crazy, but what Choi Beomgyu said during the interview with Yeong-Il the other day is echoing in your mind, and— in conjunction with everything else that had happened— you’re starting to think that maybe he wasn’t joking.

Your cracked phone screen greets you when you take it out of your pocket. On your other hand is the first business card you got this week.

“Who’s this?”

“Hello. Good day.” You tell them your name, the events that led up to you receiving this number, with the hope that maybe you’re finally on to something. “I’d like to talk about the compensation for my broken phone.”

Whatever that something is, you’re gonna get to the bottom of it.

*

It’s already beyond closing time at Kwiyeomdongmoim Cafe (a mouthful, you know), yet your pink apron is still neatly tied around your waist as you pace back and forth, to and fro, in circles inside the breakroom. The time is half-past nine in the evening. You should’ve clocked out thirty minutes ago, but you’re still waiting. 

The knock on the door signified the end of your wait. You turn to see your boss’s head popping in through the half-open crack. 

“Three guys are waiting for you,” informs Seokmin. “They all seem handsome. Are they your suitors?”

When you ditched your friends at the still unnamed dessert store the other day, you did it to make a few calls. Three, to be exact. Today is the culmination of those calls, which is why you’ve been erratically nervous the entire freaking day. Choi Soobin, Choi Beomyu, and Choi Yeonjun’s managers all answered respectively when you called all the sketchy numbers you got and made some negotiations (apparently, the mess on your album is Yeonjun’s number, but he got his phone confiscated after that livestream). 

“As if,” you say, walking up to the door leading back into the cafe. Suitors, more like stalkers. Fans stalking their idols is common, but the other way around is a pretty fresh idea. “Anyway, thanks, Kyeom. Thank you for letting me use the store for a while.” Because this is the only private place you can think of outside of your own home— and there’s no way in hell you’re letting them in there when you don’t even know how they managed to get hold of your personal information.

“We’re closed anyway.” Seokmin smiles and makes way for you to pass by. “Go ahead and do your thing. Do you want me to stay inside or keep watch?” 

“You can stay inside, it’s alright.” 

He nods. “Call me when you’re done. Scream if you need backup. I can handle all of them.”

You laugh and thank him once more, a pat on his arm before you decide to peek out the door first as a precautionary measure. From your spot, you can see three thoroughly covered men in windbreakers, caps, and masks sitting on three separate tables in the store. The blinds have already been rolled down, so you can’t see anything outside, but there doesn’t appear to be any cameras around, so you take it as a safe sign to finally leave your hiding spot.

The moment you do, the break room door creaks, and all three pairs of eyes immediately fall on you. 

They stand up. They call out your name in unison.

Holy shit.

And when they do, they all look at each other with a sudden flash of hostility in the air.

Um. Well. How are you supposed to do this? “H—hello,” you manage to squeak out, prompting their attention once more. Soobin takes off his cap and removes his mask, the other two following suit, and oh my god. Oh my god. You suck in a deep breath. Today, you are not a fan. You are an interrogator. This is not a fansign. This is an interrogation. 

“I— uh, I asked your managers if I can meet you all to—today for a specific reason.” Wow. Good job. Your hands are shaking and you can’t look up from the floor or else you’d start losing your mind. “But—but, before that— would...would you like some drinks…?”

Interrogation paused. You need to get your shit together first.

“Please enjoy.”

With the help of your boss (because your hands wouldn’t stop shaking and you dropped the first one you made), you managed to whip up four iced teas and settle all three of them into one table at the very back of the store. You send a stiff smile at Seokmin after he placed all the drinks on the table.

God, you owe him so much— especially when he’s being unreasonably glared at by the three men sitting with you right now. Choi Beomgyu to your left, Choi Soobin to your right, Choi Yeonjun directly across from you and holy fuck, you have yet to look at them properly yet for your own safety. They haven’t been talking to each other either, simply sitting and waiting for you to speak. You’re pretty sure they know each other though, at least by name, being in the same industry and all. 

To say that the tension in the air is suffocation would be an understatement. How...how do you start this? The fuck should you say first?

“You know, I was really happy when Kim Noona told me you called.”

Apparently you don’t have to start it. Choi Yeonjun does it for you.

“But why are these two crashing our date?”

And that’s when things also start to get messy.

“Date?” Choi Soobin interjects. He sounds offended. Why does he sound offended. “What are you talking about?”

Choi Yeonjun doesn’t get a chance to make his case. Because Choi Beomgyu from your left suddenly snatches one of your hands from the table, prompting you to look at one of them for the first time tonight, and your eyes fly wide open. “I’d...like to apologize for the other day. I was just overtaken by my emotions. I hope you weren’t too freaked out.”

You are quite freaked out because holy shit, this is too much maybe. Not maybe. Yes. This is too much. Too. Much.“Hey, why are you holding her hand?!” you hear Choi Soobin exclaim from your other side. Choi Beomgyu’s soft expression suddenly disappears into a glare and a sneer the moment he shifts his gaze.

“You’re holding her hand too!”

“Why can’t I?!”

“Hey, this isn’t fair! One of you switch with me—”

Dizzy. You’re feeling dizzy. Your head is spinning and you’re suffocating from the heat emanating from your very face. Whatever they’re arguing about isn’t even reaching your ears anymore. You’re getting lightheaded and your sweaty hands start slipping out from the two’s weirdly tender hold on your hands because your body is physically breaking down.

“Shut up! Oh my god, my head—”

Your vision actually starts spinning for a second so you quickly bring the bottom of your palms to your temples, elbows on the table to balance yourself, only to be wobbled and shaken because the three suddenly jolted off their seats in panic.

“Are you okay?!”

“I’m fine, just please—for the love of god— sit down and shut up.”

They sit down and shut up. You massage your temples in silence. You remove your hands from your face and, after sucking in a deep breath and releasing it thereafter, feel your heartbeat settling into a normal rate. As normal as it can get in this situation.

“Whew. Okay. I think I’m ready. Let’s get down to business.” Finally, you’re the one steering the conversation. You give each of them a once over as quickly as possible because now you know that prolonged eye contact will only hurt you. You settle with looking at the gaps between each of them. That’s fine. You’re fine. “Choi Soobin, Choi Yeonjun, Choi Beomgyu.”

It’s like three bulbs just lit up in succession. Your brain is starting to hurt.

“A—as I was saying, you three are some of South Korea’s biggest celebrities and although I am, in fact, a big fan of all three of you—” Why is Choi Soobin growing pink. Why the fuck is he blushing. “—that— that does not make me fail to recognize the amount of weird shit that’s been happening lately, and I think I need answers.”

They are still sitting down and shutting up. They listen to instructions well, at the very least.

“First, how the fuck did all three of you know my name without any prior introduction. Second—”

The words get clamped in your throat. It’s lodged in there very tightly because you make the mistake of looking one of them in the eye, only to notice that all three of them are looking at you with the same expression. An expression you can only describe as longing.

And your face starts burning.

“Se— second, why…why do you all keep looking at me like I’m an ex you want to get back together with…?”

Maybe you asked the wrong question.

Because for some reason they all look sad now. Really sad. Really fucking sad and it’s making your stomach clench and nerves all numb and funky because making three big celebrities all sad simultaneously is a bragging right at one end of the spectrum, and a national crime at the other.

It’s Choi Soobin who cracks the silence. “I…I had a feeling when I saw you again for the first time at the store.” Again? “Do you not remember me?”

Your face furrows. “No…? Did we ever meet before you became an actor?”

Hurt. The look of sadness has now spiraled into hurt and one might think you just stabbed and twisted a knife into his fucking gut.  “How—how about me?” Your attention turns to Choi Yeonjun who isn’t looking any better. It’s like his entire world view was just proven to be wrong and why does it feel like you’re the one to blame. 

What else can you do but shake your head in denial? Now he looks like he’d just been told he’s adopted!

“You’re…you’re joking,” he tries to laugh it off, but it only comes off as strained and shaky, then, in one fell swoop— desperate. “R—right…?”

“Great!”

Before you start feeling even shittier, Choi Beomgyu finally decides to join in. 

“And here I thought her forgetting about me was the worst case scenario.” His tone is bitter. There’s a snap in his words. “I didn’t think there’d be other bastards in the same situation as me. God fucking damn it.”

There’s a moment of silence. You watch as realization hits the other while you’re still left in the dark. Choi Yeonjun juts his seat closer. Choi Soobin tries to reach a hesitant arm to your direction, but you’re  tugged to the other side by Choi Beomgyu, who’s suddenly a little too, too close.

“Hey.”

Your hands are clamped together. 

“I meant it when I said I love you. I do. I have loved you four hundred years ago and I still love you now, and if whatever god or deity decides to make you meet you for the third time, I’ll still love you then.”

Beomgyu’s holding both of them in between his in a firm grip.

“Second life is about you. Blue Spring is about you. You’re the person I’ve been waiting for from the beginning of this life until the last.”

Now, if this situation wasn’t crazy, your heart would be skipping a beat right now.

But it is crazy. This is fucking insane. And you look around to see that there’s a weird look of sympathy and understanding in the other Choi’s eyes, clearly not recognizing the visceral insanity of this situation, which fills you with a swallowing lump of existential dread. You pry your hands out of Beomgyu’s grasp (you swear you can hear glass breaking), and slowly turn to Choi Yeonjun and say, with a very hesitant, very cautious, “Y...you too…?”

The look on his face says it all. And then you swivel over to Choi Soobin.

“And you?” 

“I’ve lo—”

“No!” you snap. “Don’t finish that sentence. Please. Oh my god.”

You see Seokmin popping his head out from the corner, mouthing an are you okay? and you shakily bring up a weak thumbs up. “Well, isn’t this interesting,” you hear Choi Yeonjun say, which feels like a slap in the face because what exactly is interesting about this. “Here I thought I was special.”

“Get off your high horse,” retorts Choi Soobin, a sneer in his voice. You double take. Choi Soobin is supposed to be sweet and gentle and kind. Who is this man? “Whatever kind of past you had with her doesn’t mean anything. I met her first. I met her at the end of King Danjong’s rule.”

“Ha!” Choi Yeonjun starts. “We got married under King Taejong. I’ve loved her before any of you did.”

Now, what the fuck?

Choi Soobin’s face pales and he chokes over his words. “M—married?”

There’s a smug grin on Choi Yeonjun’s face. He leans back against the chair with his arms crossed in victory. “You heard that correctly. Married. Pack up your bags. Unless you want me to tell you everything we did on our we—”

“Shut up, shut up, I don’t want to hear it!”

Marriage. King Danjong. King Taejong. Second life. The gears are churning inside your head. You don’t like the direction where the gears are pointing.

“What about you?”

Choi Yeonjun raises the question and the attention is now on Choi Beomgyu. He’s been quiet. The other two wait for him to say his piece— a feigned air of disdain and arrogance but there’s an unconcealable undertone of nervousness underneath it all. Your iced teas have been left untouched. Choi Beomgyu simply scoffs and presses his crossed arms against his chest.

“I have no reason to tell you any of that. This is between me and her.”

And at your mention, you receive the undivided attention of three pairs of eyes once more. Your heart rattles. God fucking damn it. Listen, you’re an avid consumer of the entertainment industry. You’ve watched a good amount of dramas and have read a good amount of manhwas to surmise a conclusion with the bits and pieces of stray information being tossed back and forth between the three. And it’s all ridiculous. But you have nothing else to work with unless they come spilling their guts themselves.

“So,” you clear your throat. “Are you three, like…a couple…hundred years old…?”

They all look offended. 

“No!”

Well, maybe you’re wrong about that part. But after a very long, convoluted discussion, the “facts” (if you can even call it that), are finally laid down on your feet.

They say you’ve all met before. Separately, in three separate lifetimes, with this one allegedly being your fourth unless there were lives in between that they can’t remember. One thing for certain is that the three of them remember the life they had while loving you— and they loved you very much apparently because those feelings and memories got carried over even after they got reborn into the present day.

The problem is, you don’t have the same symptoms. You don’t remember anything about your past lives. Hell, you can’t even remember anything in this life before you hit two years old. 

You slump in your seat. The table rattles. They get up from their chairs and come circling around you in concern.

“Are— are you okay, do you need to lie down? You could rest in my van for a while and—”

You swat Choi Yeonjun’s hand away before it could land on your shoulder. You’ve now got your hands on your face in stress, and peeking through you see Choi Soobin on your right, crouching down and looking up at you with furrowed brows and big, sad eyes. On your left is Choi Beomgyu, half-seated on the chair. You let out a very long, very anguished and muffled groan. This is too much. “If— if what you guys are saying is true,” you say. “What does it matter?”

There’s a tense pause in the air. 

“What do you mean…?”

You spring up from your seat and turn around, Choi Yeonjun in front of you. 

“I mean what does it all matter? King Sejeong, Joseon era, or whatever— I don’t care about all of that. We’re in the twenty-first century right now. I’m neither your lover nor your wife. I’m just a fan of your dramas and music and performances and that's it.”

You squeeze your eyes shut. You don’t really want to see their faces right now. You let a huff of air slip past your lips, turning back around to collect the untouched glasses of drinks on the table.

“Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to meet me and explain. I hope it’s all settled. Thanks for clearing everything up today. You can now all leave.”

It’s Choi Yeonjun who races after you when you make your firm and quick strides to the counter. He cuts off your path. “I—I don’t understand,” he chokes out. You make the mistake of meeting his gaze and see the threat of tears glazing his eyes. “What—what do you mean?”

Admittedly, that hurled a giant pang against your ribcage, knocking the air out of your chest, but you move forward. You brush past him, setting the glasses back on the counter, and— after a moment’s pause— you turn around, a heavy weight on your shoulders. It’s like gravity is trying to suck you deep into the mantle. “What I’m trying to say is we should all just get over what happened all those hundreds of years ago and live our lives in the present. I mean, I don’t know any of you. Don’t you think it’s unhealthy to keep clinging onto the past, especially when you guys are nothing but strangers to me in this life?”

Dead silence. You don’t dare look at any of them in the face. You try and retreat to the break room as quickly as you can, hands fumbling to untie your apron along the way, but you stumble over your steps, screeching to a halt the moment you hear someone say—

“Do you think it’s that easy?”

You could hear your heart in your eardrums. 

It takes all the strength in your body for you to look back, to see the pained expression on Choi Beomgyu’s face standing the farthest away from you out of the three. “Do you think I put my name out there so that it’d be easier for you to find me, wrote all those songs about you in the hopes that I could see you again if you’re someone I can just easily forget?”

Your throat tightens. It’s like you’re swallowing a boulder.

“If you wanted me to forget about you, you shouldn’t have died right in front of me then. You shouldn’t have told me you loved me right before you went cold in my arms if you wanted me to fucking forget.”

Oh.

Oh, god.

Choi Yeonjun and Choi Soobin don’t look any better. It hits you that you might have been more than a little bit unfair.

“I’m sorry.”

You don’t know your history. You don’t know what the fuck happened between you and them throughout those years that made them feel so strongly about you. But it must be harder for those who remember than for those who forgot.

It’s not like they chose to live in the present with half of their souls stuck in the past, either. You’ve been acting awfully unfair.

“I was being insensitive. I’m so sorry,” you exhale. Your knees feel like they’re about to buckle. Your head is spinning in circles. “But to be honest, this is all still very overwhelming, and I’m having a hard time comprehending and making sense of everything. It doesn’t feel real.” You try to take a step closer, but your legs give in. Choi Yeonjun quickly rushes to balance you back on your feet.

“Don’t push yourself,” he says, softly. You can’t look at him. God, these guys really know how to bring your guilt all the way home.

“Thanks, um, anyway—” You breathe in. Shit, you can’t believe you’re considering this. “Again, I really can’t and won’t be able to understand the magnitude of your— well, uh— feelings, since I really don’t remember anything. But how about…I spend some time with each of you individually, and maybe…maybe it can help in jogging back my memories?”

The atmosphere shifts. Ah. This feels like a fucking trap.

“You— you mean it?”

To be honest, you’d much rather just not deal with any of this, just stay at home and continue living your life with these three men as persons you only know behind the screen. But those looks in their eyes— hopeful and melancholic— make you feel your organs are being rearranged every five seconds, and you’d feel bad leaving them with the pain of this conversation especially after they poured out their hearts to you.

You can’t deny the joy and escape they’ve given you for the past couple of years you’ve spent as their fan. Maybe entertaining this unreality is the least you can do.

“I mean, well,” you start, clearing your throat. “Choi Beomgyu, you still need to pay for my phone. Choi Soobin, your manager wanted me to talk to you about something, and Choi Yeonjun—”

You look at the guy who still has one arm pressed against your back, two hands in a firm grip on your shoulders. He’s looking at you and batting his eyes expectantly. You let out a sigh and set yourself loose.

“I need to discuss something with you soon, too.” As in, please stop vaguely mentioning me in your live streams because I fear I might find an angry mob in front of my house. “I think I have all your contact information anyway.”

There aren’t any more reactions coming from them. This seems like the best possible solution for all of you. You sigh again. This has been an emotionally draining evening. You can’t wait to get some fucking rest.

“I’ll be in touch with you or your managers soon. For now, let’s call it a day.”

STAR STUDDED BAGGAGE. © hannie-dul-set, 2024.

[paperstari]

"phoebe bridgers? the waiting room girl from tiktok?" bitch you know boygenius phoebe, punisher phoebe, sita phoebe, snl phoebe, and maxine phoebe, but do you know 1.5 gpa phoebe, marshall phoebe, mutton busting phoebe, itsblitzzz phoebe, red flannel phoebe, lucky brand phoebe, solar power phoebe, and fakenudes phoebe?

[shesmore-shoebill]

MAN, this second round. The combo of bits, inside jokes, inside jokes from ACTUAL EVENTS, and just the vibes of the exaggerated comedic versions of themselves doing goofy shit. Smoffice shit. Golden.

(Really showing me that if Smoffice ever came back with the current cast I would be SO annoying about it. Like, over the moon with joy. And so unbearable with it.)

[wildpeachfarm]

Hello! Former big Punz fan here who had been watching him for a long time and was subbed for more than two years! A little timeline on Punz' twitch views! Before Cate: 1k-2k views, depending on what he did on stream

When he dated Cate: 600-1k views (the 1k really rarely though, mostly around 600-800)

Post cuck-reveal: ~200 views

So yeah, Punz is an embarrassment and most of his fans were young women who had like parasocial crushes on him and a lot of those stopped watching when he dated Cate. Other stopped watching simply because they disliked Cate cause she was sometimes toxic on stream and the vibe just didn't feel right (I stopped watching him because of that for example). He gained a few views after their break up again and lost A LOT after the cuck-reveal (me for example).

Most of Punz' later fans (when he stopped playing minecraft that often) came from the Dream Team, I'd say mostly George and Sapnap since they also played Valorant/Shooter games. So obviously he lost most of them after the cuck reveal, as going against Dream means going against all of Dream Team. That he obviously also stopped being friends with Sapnap didn't help either, considering he often got views from the people who don't watch Sapnap's kicks streams and therefore watched Punz' streams when Sapnap was in VC playing Valorant with him.

Long story short: Punz is fucked and should probably start looking for a job to pay his bills, considering he can't go back to the Dream Team house to live there rent free

This is fascinating

[demonboyhalo]

there should be a special notification for when someone pins ur post. i want fanfare and fireworks so the gay person in my phone knows i love them.

[renranram]

Your stories r so good qigehwjw I keep rereading them when there hasn't been a new one updating, but would like to ask which u can freely ignore.

What if schlatt takes us once again to Japan and we try out a kimono he's either filming her or someone else it's up to you🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 once again have a great day!!

Kimonos

sfw + fluff

this is like the part 2 from the last japan related schlatt one shot i wrote

a/n; HI YANNVI!! IM GLAD YOU LIKE MY WORKS SKSHSHFJ + YOUR IDEA IS SO CUTE OFC I CAN'T JUST IGNORE IT ILY ( PARASOCIALLY )

schlatt and you return again to japan, this time it's just both of you two, no cameras, no nothing

the photo booth pics of you two are still in the back of his phone, showing you off but in a lowkey way, as you two scroll through a small festival in japan you two look around as schlatt pause, approaching a small stand before picking up a small pink cat plush

“ it looks like you “ schlatt smiles as you chuckle, “ do i really? “ you ask, standing next to him as you pat the small plush before gasping, grabbing a large brown bear

“ it looks like you! “ you giggle, as he chuckles back, gently grabbing the bear from out of your hand as he poses with it

you grab out your polaroid, before snapping a photo of him and the bear, “ you're so cute “ you mutter out as schlatt could only pull you for a peck in your cheek

“ i thought we agreed on not bringing any cameras hm? “ he gently caresses your shoulder before you respond, “ i knoww, i just wanted to snap some photos “ you reply, “ preserve the memories you know? “

“ of course you would “ he states, before glancing at the two plushies, “ do you want them? “ he asks

“ uhm.. but what if they're too expensive? “ you ask, he always spoils you without a problem so why would he care now?, “ there's nothing to expensive for me “ schlatt retorts patting your hair as he grabs both of the plushies

respectfully paying for the toys, as he looks at you proudly, holding the bag, “ it's us but if we're plushies “ you added he intertwines his hand with yours, as you two continue to walk around the festival

you two ate traditional foods, looked at shrines and even paid respect for the spirits by lighting up some candles

your polaroid collections started growing and growing with every shot of you two, that was until fans of his spotted you two, both are wearing kimonos as they reluctantly approaches schlatt

“ hi! we're such big fans “ the boy, who looks about 15 and his friend, a girl, who looks older smiles at them as you glance at schlatt, happy that he was recognized, “ hey im glad you like my content “ schlatt replies

the two kids looks at you before gasping, giving him a cheeky smile, schlatt scolds the kids in a playful manner, “ we keep this a secret alright? “ he daps up the kids before the two nod, being a chuckling mess

“ can we take a photo with you? “ the girl asks as schlatt glances at you, looking for permission as you respond with a small nod, stepping away a little as the two kids, pose, and snaps a photo with their idol

schlatt pats both of their shoulders, “ we're so happy to meet you! “ the kids state in unison as they bow in unison too, “ me too, “ schlatt pauses before glancing at their attire, “ hey, before you two go, can i ask where'd you'd get those? “ he asks nicely, pointing at the kimonos

“ oh our parents rented these in a nearby store… like over there! “ the kid points at a shop, who's only a few blocks from where they were

“ alright, thank you “ schlatt gives them a little bow as the kids run away, giggling, schlatt approaches you, noticing you looking in awe at a beautifully decorated shrine while chewing on her dango

“ hi toots “ he greets you again, his hand on your waist as you smile, “ they seem like nice kids “ you commented as schlatt nods in reply, “ i wanna try something with you “ he added as you raise your eyebrow in interest

“ oh? “ you blink as schlatt gently grabs your wrist as he starts pulling you behind him, “ what is it? “ you ask, smiling, “ just something “

you nod in defeat as schlatt and you stop at a kimono shop, you gasp, “ what's this for? “ you ask him, “ wanna try those kimonos with you “ he nudges your shoulder

“ really? “ you squeal, before nodding, as two staffs comes up to you two speaking in japanese but they're generally greeting you in their shop

you two were separated by them as they let you chose the preferred color of your clothing, unironically, you and schlatt chose the same color, light blue

the staffs gently dresses you up with the obis, such as ( obi-age, obi, obi-dome and obi-shime ), they were that kind to even gently put on the tabi on you, even letting you borrow a tradional umbrella and a kinchaku

schlatt of course paid for everything, the staffs calling him handsome and he could only bow and chuckle in response flustered

as you got out of the dressing room, schlatt swore he fell in love again, he smiles, your hair was put up, the staffs cooes at you two as you chuckling, noticing the same color you two wore

“ we're twinning babe “ you approach him as schlatt pulls you by your waist as the staffs squeal like teenage girls

you two chuckle as schlatt pulls out the polaroid before approaching the staff, whispering something at them as they nod, even with the language barrier schlatt just hands them the polaroid before going back to you to pose

“ ah “ you mutter, his hand on your waist, as the two of you pose, after with a small shutter, schlatt bows in gratitude as the staff returns the camera, all smiles, “ uh…you return in… hour “ the staff states, her broken english is very obvious

the two of you continued to walk around the festival even managing to get into a petting zoo, before it was you who was taking photos him and this time it was him taking pictures

it was an adorable sight really, you chuckle, scrunchiour nose as you feed a lamb, another shutter, “ you keep taking pics of me “ you mumbles, fixing your hair

“ it's cause you're adorable toots “ he smiles at you, “ plus, it saves the memories you know… so.. if we do get children in the future we can show them how pretty their mother is “

you blush like a teenage girl, “ awh come on, it is real tho, i want us to have a photo album of us, a photo album dedicated to you, showing how much we love eachother “

“ … you're so cheesy “ you can only comment, as schlatt pecks your cheek, “ it is real tho, i wanna share these memories with them in the future “

-

@.isniffschlatt’ssocks • 7 minutes

AHH OMG SCHLATT WAS SPOTTED IN JAPAN WITH THE SAME GIRL, ANY THOUGHTS??

↳ 427 ⇆ 308 ♡ 592

↳ @.jschlatt • 1 minute

that girl is my gf btw

↳ 799 ⇆ 987 ♡ 1.8k

[sinverse]

not to be parasocial but ever since shayne and courtney from smosh hard launched their wedding i have no stopped thinking about them

like ok yeah no big deal just affirm the fact that love is real and you’re married to your best friend and you’re soulmates! i’m normal! i’m fine!

[azulcrescent]

I love you <3 /p

Thenk q ><

(tho messages like these scare me a bit cuz recently i had a person develop a particularly strong parasocial attachment on me and that was... uh, pretty scary)

[zhoufeis]

What just bothers me simply about the discussion of TTPD being all so great is neither the fact that some reviewers literally ignore some of the very gruesome lyrics this album has to offer nor the fact that the whole album has the same tune and I could not tell apart these tracks even if I wanted to, no. After all, we can always argue that tastes are different... arguably. It's something utterly different that's bothering me.

It's three things entirely different.

1) The fact we pretend 31 break-up tracks, written entirely out of the perspective of victimhood, of some love stories are worth calling "The Tortured Poets Department". Mind you, Swift, I like love songs, I like break-up songs, I like them poetically, I like when they touch me. But writing 31 break-up songs (not entirely, right, more like 25 or so) for one album makes me wonder if there is anything deeper... more touching to write about. You stay on the surface describing relationships (romantic as well as parasocial) in which you come out as a victim. But the self-reflection is missing entirely. And if I learned one thing in language classes it's that it's poetically dull if we only ever stay on the surface. We gotta dig deeper. And I'm not referring to some poetic lines to make a song sound more beautiful. I'm talking about true depth, true self-reflection, something that makes you defenseless. Cause all this woman does is writing songs out of the perspective of defense - and victimhood. Never does she actually draw herself as defenseless or vulnerable, always knowing how to use the right words to make her fans defend her.

2) Which leads me to that other thing that really bothers me. Her PR team was more involved in this album than the persona of Taylor Swift could ever be. Or maybe Taylor Swift is only PR at this point. Maybe there is no actual person behind all of this. Cause if there's one thing that's utterly apparent, it is that this album hinges SOLELY on any media drama she was involved in. Everyone out there trying to decipher which song is about whom - is this storytelling? Is this poetry? If I only care about songs and judge them by who they are about? The beauty of music is that it binds people together, makes people feel heard or seen through the text and voice of another person. What she's doing isn't that. She is not binding people together by selling her songs as something that could happen to anyone, no, all of it is always only about one person's story - her own. She also doesn't create fictional stories to write about, things to further the limits of our imagination and tell a story that doesn't even exist, and never will. She doesn't use imagination, she doesn't try to connect to other people, she's trying only to connect people to HER. Can this album even be judged neutrally if everyone just knows about her relationships and is guessing who the songs are about? Is there one person out there like "I have never seen any of the TS relationship drama and the like, and I only like to review this album lyrically and sonically by the lyrics and tune within"? Because she is SO present in everyday media press, it is impossible to miss her relationship drama. So are we actually still reviewing Swift's album as a standalone media for its sound and lyrics? Or are we actually just reviewing TS's terrible love life which she apparently has no responsibility for? And mind you all - she knows exactly what she's doing. Don't even think for a second she doesn't know that you all are following her every footstep. Don't think she doesn't use it to her advantage. (Aside from that, she has been considered a storyteller for so long, but she seems to have a lack of stories she can come up with if the only ones she writes about are her own...)

3) Which leads to the entire capitalist thinking behind the release of this album. Not only did she publish 19 different versions of this album to be acquired, no, she also literally had millions of fans pre-ordering her (normal-length) album, only to drop an extended version right after its release. Which means that all these fans had to buy yet another album. And don't think she meant this as a surprise for her fans - she did that cause that's how you make money. Cause that's how capitalism works. And she's part of the problem.

[coconutredbulllover]

me when i see ppl speculating on this site but another forum site (like tumblr but a lotttt less people know about it which keeps it less discovered and 50x more people who do not care to keep their wording respectful when talking abt people they speculate abt)(gatekeeping! iykyk) have the timeline down so far to a T its scary people there basically dedicate their entire days to piecing together the facts and theres people on there that know every little detail in their head from MEMORY 😭 for example most recently we ofc saw azzi out eating sushi w her dad in vancouver and they already know why she was there with evidence and facts and everything (and yes i just said WAS like they’re trying ti back up a theory rn that shes not currently even there and that its an old pic or smth) like ive been following them for years but even i cant remember everything and cant spend time to find the stuff they do 😭😭

just a reminder that no matter how parasocial you are on tumblr there is ALWAYS someone worse than you 😭😭😭

[akookminsupporter]

What if this travel show debunks whole Jikook ? Imagine Jimin saying 'it's been long since we slept together in same room' 'it's been long since I heard his snoring' or something? If they are a couple they'll be sleeping together right ? Why would Jimin say that ? Well, it's kinda debunked already because Jimin said 'I got used to your snoring because we spent time together few days before aka their travel show shoot'. He only got used to it now because he had to sleep with JK for a schedule ? Also they are acting like Jimin bumping JK in sleep is a funny moment as if it never happened before. RM asked a question like that too 'did you elbowed him this time' as the last time it happened was when they together for NYC schedule.

Anon, I have several questions in response to your rather silly message. Why does it bother you that people like me think that perhaps there's something more than just friendship between Jimin and Jungkook? Why does it bother you to acknowledge, understand, accept that Jimin and Jungkook have always been close, probably the closest in the group? Unless you're a tkkr, it doesn't make much sense, or is it simply homophobia? Though I suppose it's not that simple. Or is it the parasocial relationship you have with one of them? What's the reason?

You clearly aren't a true fan because a real fan wouldn't be desperate to confirm that two members of their favorite group aren't or weren't close. That they had problems, etc. But you know what's funniest about all this? Your argument falls apart with the simple fact that Jimin and Jungkook enlisted together and not only that, but they applied to a program that guarantees they'll be together throughout their military service. That doesn't prove they're a couple, but it does confirm how close they are and that their relationship is different. And I know that that fact, that reality, eats away at you and at everyone who thinks like you. And I also know that you're terrified of seeing or knowing what they filmed before their military service. People like you, cowards like you who hide behind a screen and the option of anonymity, are embarrassing because it's obvious how empty and sad your lives are and that the only thing that makes you feel... something is being a horrible person.

[abrahamlincolnscat]

With rooster teeth shutting down, I just wanted to share my favorite CRWBY story that I have.

So for my birthday, I went to a con where Lindsay, Kara, Arryn, and Barbara were there all weekend doing VA stuff like meetNgreets and QnA panels and stuff, and I, cosplaying as my MVP Penny Polendina (notably the ONLY Penny cosplayer at this con, as the other RWBY cosplayers who'd gone every day had told me), only had enough money to talk to one of them (birthday present from my friends), so I talked to Lindsay because while Penny is my fav, Ruby is truly the reason I love the show as much as I do.

When I went to talk to them, I was so excited and nervous that I could barely speak. I've never been star struck before so it was an odd experience, but it was just so crazy to me that the voice of the character who got me through so much was standing *right there* and talking to me. I eventually got my bearings and was able to actually talk to them a little before they signed my photo and did a little snippit of the Ruby voice for me and it was very very cool and I really appreciate them. But that's not the cool part of this story, that's just the context.

So later all four of them had a panel with a QnA, so OBVIOUSLY I had to go. One of the questions they got asked was "who is your favorite non team RWBY character?" Between Barbara, Arryn, and Kara, I think the concensus was Nora and Neptune, and then Lindsay answered last. Their response was, maybe it's just because she was fresh in their mind, but they said Penny. And as they said that, they looked directly at me.

Now I try not to read too much into it, I am well aware of the parasociality of the whole situation, but I don't think I ever felt so seen or so important as I did in that moment, specifically because I knew they were talking to me. For a brief second, I felt not only understood, but also I felt like I could see things from their perspective somewhat. I could see just how much the fans mean to the cast and crew. They truly love RWBY, and they love the fans. I think no matter what happens in the future, it's important to remember that.

[delta-pavonis]

Fic Teaser: Parasomnia

(The morning after Special Exhibition, so spoilers there if you haven't read it. This little bit is rated T.)

Dear Dream,

Many would start such a note with “I just couldn't bear to wake you…” but, to be quite honest, I fear it would be too disingenuous given that I did everything short of cracking the smelling salts to wake you before I left. I was worried enough that I checked all your vitals. Upon finding you not dead, nor bradycardic, nor hypotensive, nor hypoxic, nor hypoglycemic, I decided you needed the rest.

Make yourself at home. And I mean that truly. Hell, you know where the toys are kept if you somehow feel the urge. (I, for one, am giving my bollocks and backside a break for at least a few days. No regrets, though.) There is barely any food in the pantry because of my holiday schedule, but there is plenty of coffee and tea. Enjoy anything and everything I have in stock. Or just order takeaway.

I left my car here and took the tube in. Keys are by the front door. You are welcome to drive my car to the hospital or get on a block south and ride in to pick up your car. I told the hospital parking attendant to log it under my name, so no rush getting here, your car is safe.

Rest. Go back to sleep if you want. (Actually, drink a glass of water first. We exerted ourselves rather, ah, thoroughly last night.) Take all the time you need. 

I’ll be back about 6 tomorrow morning. If you're around, we can have breakfast. If not, I hope I’ll see you soon. 

Text me when you are up and moving?

Yours,

Hob

P.S. Last night was fantastic. You are absolutely stunning. xoxo

Dream reads the letter fully three times before putting it down.

“Yours.”

Something in his chest soars.

Mine.

He wants Hob to be his very, very badly. 

Probably in ways Hob very much does not intend. 

Probably. 

Dream drops the note to run his hands over his face and flops back onto the bed. The sheets smell of Hob and he turns to press his cheek into them before he can think better of it.

Oh, yeah, he’s proper fucked. 

One hand wanders down to his abdomen, to above his groin, and for a moment he feels Hob within him again and groans. His other hand lands on the bruising on his shoulder, presses softly, just enough to remind him of Hob's mouth. 

Dream closes his eyes and remembers the taste of Hob, his skin and mouth and sweat and cum. He suddenly misses him, desperately. 

Which is insane. 

They’ve known each other–actually known each other, not the weird parasocial relationship he had with Hob via his TikTok ASMR videos–less than a week. How can Dream possibly miss him?!?

This is just the rush of a new relationship. It will pass. It will pass.

But Dream doesn't want it to pass. 

God, it has been ages since he felt this good. Since he had someone respond to him, to his intensity, in kind, to meet him punch for punch. It is what he thought Corin would be, or Calliope, or, fuck, Nada way back when. He thought they could become this. He and Killala had it for one bright, shining moment, before they burned themselves out.

And yet here Hob is, matching his steps, following his lead in this dance, seemingly without much effort, on the first try. Dream is going to have a whole lot of trouble letting that go, now that he knows it possible. 

Fuck.

Dream grabs his phone from where it was placed on the nightstand next to the letter and looks at the time. 

Which makes him sit up in bed like a shot.

It is almost five in the evening. He has slept for over twelve hours.