#i wish i had three friends who all liked salmon run and would play with me but alas

[poorlittlevampire]

im still trying to find the perfect time to play salmon run btw. when all the good players who actually work as a team play

[chicgeekgirl89]

Late

Fandom: 911 Lone Star

Characters: Carlos Reyes, T.K. Strand

A/N: Thanks as always to @bluenet13 for beta reading!

Read on AO3

T.K. was late. It wasn’t uncommon for one of them to be running late; when you worked as a civil servant the end of the day was determined by when the work was done, not what the clock on the wall said. Dating someone who understood that was rare, a gift. They understood and forgave the tardiness without malice.

He’d texted, telling Carlos to go ahead and get a drink and order an appetizer if he wanted. But Carlos waited, anxious to see his date (boyfriend? booty call? friend with benefits?). It had been a long day and he’d been looking forward to this evening since T.K. had texted and asked him about it two days ago. That was a step forward, T.K. asking him out instead of the other way around. It had to mean…something, right? Maybe? 

Oh god, his sister, Francesca, had been right when she told him he was hopelessly gone on this guy. Her actual comment had included a few more swear words and a surprising amount of sexual innuendo, even for his sister, but the message was the same: He was in love with a guy who liked him back. And he was doing a pretty terrible job of figuring the relationship out.

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” T.K. slid into the seat across from him, interrupting the gymnastics of his mental anxiety.

“No worries,” Carlos said, offering up a smile. “I got you a sparkling water and ordered a cheese plate.”

“Great, that’s great,” T.K. said, fidgeting in his chair like he couldn’t get comfortable.

Carlos hadn’t known T.K. for long, but the man read like an open book. He could tell something wasn’t right. “Everything okay?” he asked as T.K. picked up the menu and flipped it over without reading it before setting it back down again.

“What? Yeah, yes, yes everything’s fine,” he said, picking the menu back up again.

Carlos studied him, feeling his leg bounce up and down under the table. “You sure? You seem on edge. Rough day at work?”

T.K. set the menu down again and schooled his face into what Carlos assumed he thought was a neutrally pleasant expression, but was really a smile that strained around the edges. “No, I’m good. Sorry. So, what are you thinking about? The filet? Or actually the salmon looks really good. With the lemon sauce?”

Carlos let T.K. chatter his way through dinner about inane subjects such as the different types of hose nozzles, his Dad’s medicinal tea collection, and how to properly hail a taxi in New York. Carlos hmmed and nodded in all the right places, all the while mentally going through a list of possible reasons for T.K.’s uneasiness. A difficult shift seemed most likely, but T.K. had denied that. Could something have happened to someone he knew in New York? Or was there…was there someone else? He knew about T.K.’s recent horrendous break up, but was it possible that whoever he’d left behind had come calling? It happened more often than not, a quick rebound and then back to the previous relationship, he’d seen it time and and time again.

His heart squeezed a little bit at the thought and he mentally shook himself. T.K. had given him no indication that things between them were off, he shouldn’t assume and possibly fabricate a problem for himself that didn’t exist. 

They finished their meal, declining desert and coffee, and headed for the parking lot. “So,” Carlos finally said, his first word in quite a while. “Did you want to come over or…?”

“Yeah,” T.K. said far too brightly in the fakest possible way. 

T.K. seemed to have run out of bizarre facts and mundane topics to talk about because he was quiet on the drive back to Carlos’, seemingly lost in whatever was going on in his head, fingers absently playing with his phone, turning it over and over in his hands.

He didn’t even move when they stopped in the driveway, eyes staring straight ahead out the windshield. “T.K.,” Carlos said softly.

He startled and cleared his throat. “Hey, sorry.” He flashed another fake smile and leaned over, pressing a kiss to Carlos’ lips, quickly trying to turn it into more.

Carlos let him for a moment, not pulling back, but not fully giving in either, still trying to get a read on what was going on tonight. The current situation suggested it had nothing to do with them, which was a relief. But something was still wrong.

“Should we take this inside?” T.K. asked a moment later, his hand sliding up Carlos’ thigh, even as the enthusiasm didn’t quite reach his eyes.

Carlos cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure you want to?”

That got T.K.’s full attention and his brow furrowed. “I—yes. Yeah I wanted to come over and be with you.” He leaned over and kissed the tip of Carlos’ nose. “Come on.”

They walked inside and for once Carlos let T.K. take the lead as they landed on the couch, lips locked together, hands in each other’s hair, running up and down each other’s bodies. But it wasn’t fast and hard or even slow and gentle it was just…as if T.K. was going through the motions. And Carlos was not okay with that.

He pulled away, sitting up, putting distance between them. “What’s wrong?” T.K. asked in confusion. “You okay?”

“Are you?”

“What?”

Carlos fixed him with a firm look. “T.K. I want to have sex with you, I do. But I’m a big fan of enthusiastic consent. And right now you’re consenting but…I’m kind of missing the enthusiasm.”

T.K. sighed and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees, running a hand over his face. “I’m sorry. I should have just gone home.”

Carlos felt a pang of sympathy as he watched the weight of whatever T.K. was dealing with settle fully on his shoulders. He reached over and put a hand on T.K.’s knee. “You know, you don’t have to tell me what’s going on if you don’t want to. But if you do, I’m here. Or if you don’t want to talk I can drive you home. No questions asked.”

He could see T.K.’s jaw working, like he was trying to hold back tears. He shook his head silently, misery all over his face and Carlos couldn’t take it any longer. He slid closer so their thighs touched and put his free hand on T.K.’s shoulder. “T.K. what is it?”

The other man sucked in a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezed his eyes shut. “My dad has cancer.”

Of all the things he’d considered, this had never crossed his mind. It felt like a punch in the gut. And if it felt that way to him, he could only imagine how it felt to T.K. 

“It’s lung cancer,” T.K. continued. “From the towers. And he didn’t tell me. He just moved us across the country like he could run away from it. I thought he made us come here because of me but really, it was because of him. And me. Both of us I guess, I don’t even know anymore.”

T.K. looked so wrung out and exhausted and Carlos’ heart ached, wishing for all the world that he could somehow take his pain away.

“He’s been getting chemo and dealing with this for months now, all on his own because he couldn’t tell me or didn’t want to tell me or didn’t trust me enough to tell me and I feel really REALLY shitty about it,” T.K. said. “Like the worst son in the world for not noticing and not being…okay enough for him to talk to me about it. Because you know that people with a support system have a better chance of beating cancer than people that don’t. And I haven’t been providing that for him. I’ve just been dealing with my own shit again.” 

His intake of breath was shaky, words continuing to pour out of him. “And I told him that I wasn’t scared, that I knew he was going to be all right, but I think that was a lie. Because right now I’m terrified. I’m terrified that I’m going to lose him. And I promised myself I would never lie to him again after what happened in New York but how could I say anything else? He needs me to be strong but,” T.K. finally looked up and met Carlos’ eyes, “I’m not very good at being strong. As evidenced by the addiction and relapses.” 

He shook his head again and ran an agitated hand over his face. “And I don’t even know why I’m telling you all of this. I’m sorry, it’s been a long day and I kind of can’t stop thinking about it and it all just kind of…spilled out.”

Carlos squeezed his knee. “Well, they do call me “The Confessor” at the precinct. Bad guys take one look at me and give up all their secrets.”

T.K. raised his eyebrows. “They do?”

“No, T.K. it’s a joke.” He winced slightly. “Maybe not the right time for a joke. Sorry.”

T.K. snorted. “No it’s…thanks. I needed that.” He exhaled slowly. “I think I needed all of that. I don’t uh, I don’t have many people I can talk to about stuff like this. So thanks for letting me unload on you. Again.”

“You can talk to me anytime,” Carlos said. “I mean it. And if you need help with your dad, anything at all, I’m glad to do that too. I can drive to appointments, pick things up, make phone calls, or just be a shoulder to cry on.”

T.K. gave him a soft, smile, the first genuine one of the night, and cupped his cheek. “You are so sweet. You know that?”

“I think you’ve mentioned it once or twice,” Carlos told him. “I’m not just saying it; I’m serious T.K. Anything you need, anything at all.”

He couldn’t fix this, couldn’t tell T.K. that it would all be all right in the end, couldn’t give him the assurances he longed for, but he could offer his presence and support.

“I know,” T.K. said, and he seemed to genuinely believe it. “Thank you.”

Carlos leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his lips, lingering for just a moment before pressing their foreheads together. “Do you want to stay here tonight?”

T.K. nodded against him and didn’t pull back. “Do you mind if we don’t…I just don’t think I…”

“How about we watch a movie?” Carlos suggested. “I’ll make some popcorn, we can relax. Decompress a little bit.”

“Are you sure that’s okay?” T.K. asked.

Carlos smiled. “Believe it or not I like being with you even when we’re not having sex. And I am very capable of going without for a night or two.”

“But not three?” T.K. asked as Carlos got up and moved to the kitchen.

Carlos gave a fake wince. “That would be pushing it. I might have to find another hot shot firefighter from New York to hook up with.”

“You get a lot of those in Austin?”

“Oh they’re a dime a dozen around here,” Carlos said with a teasing grin as he started the microwave. “Walk down the street and you’re bound to run into at least a few. Although, I don’t think all of them have such a passion for hose nozzles.”

Now T.K. winced for real. “Sorry. I ramble when I’m anxious.”

“I noticed. It’s okay. And next time I’m at a scene and someone asks me for a hose nozzle, I will definitely be able to help. In fact, I think I’ll add that to my resumé. Hose Nozzle Expert.”

“Oh god,” T.K. rolled his eyes. “I’m a terrible date.”

Carlos returned with the popcorn. “Well I’ll guess we’ll just have to go on another one. Give you a chance to make it up to me.”

“Friday?” T.K. asked.

“I have a shift starting mid-morning.”

“Breakfast then?”

Carlos handed him the popcorn bowl. “Breakfast it is. Now,” he settled back into the couch and pulled T.K. toward him until they were cuddled together. “Relax. I’ve got you.”

[toutallyahoe]

Everybody Talks ~ Iwaizumi Hajime (Haikyuu) pt 1

requested by: --

a/n: i forgot to post this here, lmao whoops

but anyways, had to split this because tumblr cant support 7000+ words asdfghjkll

this is my longest one shot so far, please enjoy it. em begging thee

part one | part two | part three

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"Hey baby won't you look my way?

I can be your new addiction,"

There it goes again, the annoying song that he was already very familiarized with as it was the very same song that his soulmate had been listening non-stop for the past few days. Iwaizumi Hajime doesn't know if his soulmate had a different time zone than his (thirteen hours difference to be exact) or just a psychopath listening to the loud song for the whole night that the dark haired male could barely sleep. And it had been almost a week already!

"Hey baby what you gotta say?

All you're giving me is fiction,"

Hajime doesn't even understood the song that much despite it's catchy tune. It was in, on what he assumed, was english. Yes, it was very catchy song at first as the beat was very enjoyable and the singer had a nice voice— but listening to the song for almost one week straight? It can drive anyone insane. And Iwaizumi Hajime had to deal with listening to the song over and over again in non-stop repeat because of his (probably) psychopath soulmate listen to it in full volume.

"I'm a sorry sucker and this happens all the time,"

The dark haired male was rather a bit thankful that the volume of the song he was hearing was a bit bearable as whatever song anyone's soulmate was listening too, it was projected to the other about only eighty percent the noise. Still, the song was loud and Hajime wonders if his soulmate would go deaf with how loud the song was playing on their end. Well, if they weren't going deaf already.

"I found out that everybody talks,

Everybody talks, everybody talks,

It started with a whisper!"

Sighing, Hajime stared at the ceiling of his room, a small frown on his lips. God, his soulmate was lowkey an asshole for making him listen to the same song over and over again for the past few days. If he ever finds his soulmate, the dark haired male was sure to beat them up— or at least, be angry at them for making him listen to a song that he could barely sleep.

"And that was when I kissed her!

And then she made my lips hurt!"

Looking at the alarm clock on top of his nightstand beside his bed, the dark haired male let out another annoyed grunt as he saw the time. It was already midnight and he still had school to attend to tomorrow. Not to mention volleyball practice early in the morning aswell.

God, for a moment, Hajime hated the soulmate bond so, so much.

"I could hear the chit chat!

Take me to your love shack!"

But Iwaizumi Hajime also remembered that his soulmate rather had a nice taste in music that even made him listen to his soulmates favorite bands— or at least he assumes they were their favorite bands.

Hajime was stuck with the soulmate bond that let's him hear the song what his soulmate was listening too, and it reminded the dark haired male that his soulmate was somehow sharing a part of themselves to him.

"Mamas always gotta back track!

When everybody talks back!"

Sighing again, Hajime wished he would just smack his soulmate right now.

  

"Hey honey you could be my drug?

You could be my new prescription,"

Hajime let out an annoyed grunt as he just finished serving and stood outside the court. It was unfortunately out of bounds as he put too much pressure on hitting the ball, but Hajime could barely care about it right now.

"Too much could be an overdose!

All this trash talk make me itchin'!"

Jesus fucking Christ, it was practically by the end of the day, but his soulmate was still listening to the song? The dark haired male now fully believed his soulmate was a psychopath. Period.

"Oh my, my,

Everybody talks, everybody talks,

Everybody talks, too much..."

"Woah, losing your edge there ace!" Hajime turned his head to whoever had said those words and saw it was a fellow third year and (unfortunately) friend of his, Hanamaki Takahiro. The light brown (pink-ish?) haired male had an eyebrow raised towards him but an amused smirk on his lips with his arms crossed over his chest.

"You okay there? Or are you getting old already?" Takahiro snickered as Hajime rolled his eyes at the wing spiker. The light brown (salmon???) haired player was always a bit of a tease along with another third year, Matsukawa Issei. Speaking of the middle blocker, it seemed like the black haired middle blocker also decided to come and join on annoying the dark haired ace.

"You've been also more annoyed than usual," Issei pointed out as he stood next to his light brown (pastel pink???) haired friend with his arms crossed on his chest aswell. "Love the eye bags, by the way," Issei continued as he grinned while Takahiro snickered more at his comment.

"Oh, shut up," Hajime had grunted as he rubbed the temple on his head. The dark haired ace was already tired from the lack of sleep and practicing volleyball even if he do love the sport. He can't deal with his teams bullshit right now.

"Iwa-chan can't sleep because of his soulmate!" Yelled the volleyball captain of the males volleyball club of Aoba Johsai, Oikawa Tōru, who was unfortunately the dark haired male's best friend since childhood from across the court. How did he know what the three were talking about? No one would ever know other than knowing the captain enjoyed gossip and doesn't care if he even gets caught listening to conversations that doesn't include him. Oikawa Tōru had no shame.

Sighing again, Hajime was so fucking done. Of course the chocolate brown haired male would know about his soulmate problem even if he doesn't say anything about it. For some odd reason, Tōru had a sixth sense with him and his soulmate. How annoying.

"Because of your soulmate...?" Takahiro asked, confused. The confusion on his face was immediately then replaced with an amused look as a shit eating grin was replaced the smirk on his lips. Hajime already felt the headache coming.

"That's pretty kinky, not gonna lie," Takahiro said with no shame whatsoever. Obviously his imaginations running wild from the chocolate brown haired male's shout about Hajime and his soulmate. Issei could only chuckle at his friend's words as they both look at the dark haired ace who was slowly losing his sanity and patience.

"But seriously, Iwaizumi. What's the deal with your soulmate?" Issei asked. Finally something Hajime could actually answer and not be teased by the assholes that he calls his teammates and friends. Unfortunately.

"The dumbass hasn't stopped listening to this one song for almost a week now," Hajime grunted as he could still hear the said song in his mind.

"It started with a whisper!

And that was when I kissed her!

And then she made my lips hurt!"

"Really?" Takahiro said, a bit surprised that a measly song would annoy the dark haired ace. Sure, Iwaizumi Hajime was a bit of a hot headed person but he was a hot headed person who can control his temper— unless it's with Oikawa Tōru, then Hajime would not hesitate to beat the shit outta the chocolate haired captain.

"What's so bad with the song?" And it seemed like the black haired middle blocker agreed aswell as Issei asked that question. The taller male didn't know if he should congratulate their ace's soulmate for making the dark haired male so annoyed and irritated for the past few days or feel bad for Hajime.

"The song isn't the problem," Hajime huffed as he saw both Takahiro and Issei look at him with raised brows. Clearly wanting him to elaborate more since they were confused. Sighing, the dark haired male decided to just come out with it. "They just have been playing the song non-stop and it's driving me insane."

"I could hear the chit chat!

Take me to your love shack!"

"What's the song?" The light brown (peach?!?) haired male had asked. Curious on what Hajime's soulmate was listening to. Can you blame him though? Their ace seemed to be a bit secretive with his soulmate, even if they had been teammates and friends for years. Iwaizumi Hajime didn't seemed to like talking about his soulmate, either it be him not liking them or just likes his privacy. It was probably the latter but who knows?

Sighing again, Hajime gestured the two to follow him to the changing room. The practice was almost over anyways and both Takahiro and Issei had finished their serves earlier ago aswell. The dark haired ace was going to let the two third years hear the song he had been listening to for the past few days with his phone. Hajime, after all, downloaded the song his soulmate had been listening to non-stop.

  

"Mamas always gotta back track!

When everybody talks back!"

Arriving at the changing room with the two males tagging along, Hajime wasted no time going to his assigned locker and opened it up. Taking out his phone and unlocking it, Hajime immediately then went to his music app and searched the song his soulmate had forced him to listen to for almost a week.

"Never thought I'd live to see the day,

When everybody's words got in the way!"

Finding the song, the dark haired ace turned to both his friend and gave them a blank expression as he hit play on the song.

The familiar intro of the song played loud on the device's speaker and it didn't take long for the singer started singing the song that Hajime was song he could sing along perfectly from how much he had heard the song already. The dark haired male had practically memorized the lyrics of the song already and he wasn't even kidding.

"Woah," Issei whistled as he look at the song that was playing in Hajime's phone more closely. "Damn ace, you're soulmate has taste!" The black haired male said. Rather surprised and impressed to the song Hajime's soulmate taste in music.

"It's in english too," Takahiro pointed out. He then turned to look at Issei who looked at him aswell. The two seemed to be communicating without even saying anything, but seeing the furrowed eyebrows and small frown on their lips, Hajime knew what they were thinking.

"Your soulmate is probably in a foreign country..." Takahiro said as he looked back at the dark haired ace. A bit worried but the wing spiker seemed to force a grin on his lips. "That's so cool!"

"Yeah, you're pretty lucky to get a foreign soulmate ace," Issei said. "Imagine getting help with english!" The black haired male chuckled. The two friends continued on listing the positives of having a soulmate who can talk in english and joking about it.

The dark haired ace didn't seemed to listen to the two though.

Hajime knew that there was a huge possibility that his soulmate was in another country than where he was. Soulmates were rarely even in the same cities most of the time, so Hajime fully knows about him maybe not meeting his soulmate. Still, it still hurts to think that his soulmate was far away from him and probably would not meet.

Iwaizumi Hajime didn't considered himself as a hopeless romantic, but it had always been his dream to meet the other person who he had sharing music to since he was seven years old.

There were two reasons why Hajime hated sharing about his soulmates music taste. First was that it hurts to be reminded that Hajime would only hear the song his soulmate was listening to and most of the time those songs were in english and were too loud for his liking. Sure, his soulmate listened to some mellow song aswell like lo-fi and even taking note on songs he listened too aswell, but his soulmate seemed to enjoy the upbeat and loud ones a lot.

Second was that Hajime felt like the music he listened from his soulmate were sacred. It was a silly thing to think but for the dark haired ace, the music and songs his soulmate was listening too, it was only for him to listen to and only him alone.

God, perhaps Iwaizumi Hajime was a hopeless romantic. Or at least, a little bit of a hopeless romantic with how he thinks about some dumb songs his soulmate was listening too.

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next >

[thorne93]

History Repeats (Part 3)

Prompt: Life’s hard, right? Well throw in a not so great job, a broken heart, and chasing a pipe dream in LA. But could someone come along to make all the bad shit disappear? Or is he just another heartbreak waiting around the bend?

Warnings: language, drug addiction, alcohol addiction, angst/heartbreak, adult themes (??)

Word Count: 2318

Note: Aesthetic made by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo because she’s absolutely amazing Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo . Brainstorming from @carryonmyswansong​

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your friends had asked you to come out, but you just weren’t feeling up to it, and since your friends shared the same stomping ground as you and Jason, you were afraid you’d run into him. Not to mention, more often than not, your friends were Jason’s as well, you hung out in the same crowd, and now that you’d broken up, you maybe had two friends that weren’t his friends when you met. Maybe he was right, maybe you really were a hermit.

No matter, you weren’t going to apologize for wanting to stay home, or in this case, for tonight, not wanting to go out. You were perfectly content just being at home, alone…

For the past few days, you couldn’t help but think constantly of Hayden. It wasn’t that he was an actor, that fact hardly ever made an appearance in your mind. No, you were more mesmerized with...him. He was so funny and quiet, and sweet. You two seemed to see eye to eye on a few things so far and it was really nice. It was a breath of fresh air. 

You and Jason disagreed on a lot. For the longest time, you thought it was just small stuff, like what sets of plates to buy, which way to arrange the living room. But when you broke up...it didn’t hurt quite as bad as you thought it would, which surprised you. You thought you loved Jason, maybe you did at one point, but the truth was, at the end of the day, neither of you agreed on the big things, and for you, that was major. For most people it should be. People should want to be with rather like minded people when it comes to kids, futures, how to live your lives. And that just wasn’t there for you and Jason. 

Didn’t mean you weren’t sad to lose a relationship though, you still cared for Jason, he lived with you, and you shared your lives. Of course ending that chapter of your life hurt, and you sometimes wished it didn’t end at all...But the part in you that could see past the current tumultuous situation, knew that things ending with Jason was for the best. 

Which brought you back to Hayden. Rachel seemed to share some of the same issues that Jason had, at least when it came to how they see you and Hayden. Perhaps...perhaps that meant something. 

Your shift was winding down, your thoughts filled with Hayden and hopes of getting to talk to him again, because your friends clearly didn’t get that you weren’t in the mood to go out and be social right now. Only one of them had asked you how you were doing after the breakup, and even that was only one time. Since then, they hadn’t checked in on you or checked how you were. Maybe trying to invite you out was a way of distracting you, but if it was, it was a poor attempt on their part, and they should know by now you didn’t work like that.

Standing at the front counter, ready to take any late check ins, you were going through the schedule for tomorrow, when Hayden came gliding into the lobby, but you didn’t see him. He nearly passed the front desk but his desire to talk to you got the better of him.

“Hey,” his voice suddenly greeted as you were bent over. 

Your heart filled with warmth as you heard his voice. You raised your head to face him. “Oh, hey, you’re coming in late,” you noted. Typically, you’d caught glances of him in the lobby heading to his room around six or seven at night, not at nearly eleven. “Out partying?” you half-teased with a smile.

“Oh yeah, you know me. Total party animal,” he responded with his own grin. 

You laughed in response. 

“Hey, I was dropping by to see if maybe you would...want to hang out when you get off?” he asked. “Normally, I wouldn’t bother you. I’m sure you want to go home and relax...It’s just...I sort of...would like someone to talk to,” he said, shrugging and appearing nervous, and a touch sad. 

You nodded. “Yeah, of course. No, yeah, I’d love to hang out. Where would you want to go?” you inquired. A small bout of guilt hit your stomach as you realized you blew off your other friends, but Hayden asked and you jumped at the opportunity. But...in this case, it was different. He seemed sad and you wanted to be there for him.

“I was wondering if maybe we could just go to my room? I’m a little...exhausted from being out all day,” he remarked, hoping you understood.

You nodded, fully understanding how draining being out and about socially can be. 

“Yeah, that’s fine. I’ll be up there after a bit,” you said, smiling a friendly smile at him.

“Cool. See you up there,” he said before knocking on the desk and walking off to the elevators. Watching him walk away gave you a strange feeling. You had this desire to walk with him, to be by his side. His presence made you feel so...calm, and steady. Jason never truly made you feel at ease, and being around Hayden, you realized that now. In fact, none of your friends did. You felt that you always had to be fully engaged, fully “on” to be around them. Not with Hayden.

Now, you had something to look forward to after work, and the first time you’d looked forward to anything in a long time. A smile was plastered widely on your lips for the rest of your shift, and when you got off, you gathered your things and made your way to the sixth floor, heading to his suite.

After one knock, he opened the door, grinning from ear to ear, clad in a black sweater and dark blue jeans, looking incredibly handsome. 

“I’m so glad you came,” he said, stepping aside. 

You nodded, walking into the room. 

“Yeah! I’m looking forward to us talking again,” you confessed.

“Me too. Uh, we can sit here if you want,” he said, gesturing to the living room suite that held a couch and two chairs and a coffee table.

You nodded, setting your stuff down and out of the way before sitting on the couch.

“You want something to drink or are you hungry or anything?” Hayden offered, as he walked over to the small bar in the room.

“Actually, uh, yeah I wouldn’t mind something to drink, and maybe eat. I didn’t get a lunch break today and forgot to grab something before my shift,” you said, a little embarrassed, causing a blush to rise to your cheeks.

“No problem. I’m starving. Care if I order room service?”

“Not at all.”

“Cool. What would you like? They have salmon, steak, burgers...Oh, hell,” he said, laughing as he threw back his head, letting the menu rest in his hands. “Look who I’m telling,” he remarked. “Sorry about that,” he apologized.

“No need to apologize for being considerate,” you said with a smile. “But I think I know what I’ll have,” you said, ordering your favorite grilled cheese from them. It had three types of cheese, sauteed onions, and the bread was always perfect. You got a cup of tomato soup on the side and a coke. 

After he ordered, he came over and sat down on the couch, a cushion between you two. 

“So how was your day?” he inquired kindly.

“Not too bad, actually,” you said truthfully, nodding, thankful that it was easy. “Typical day. Steady pace. No crazy guests,” you said with a laugh, which he returned.

“That’s good,” he said with a smile.

“You? How was your day?” 

“Same. We reshot the same scene about fifty times though,” he informed, feigning frustration.

“Oh, I didn’t know you were here for a film,” you informed, surprised. 

“That’s the business,” he reminded with a sideways smile.

“Ah! Yes, you did say you were here on business, I forgot. Then I didn’t put two and two together,” you remarked, laughing a bit at yourself. “That’s really cool though! Do you like this project?”

He smiled, a light behind it, he seemed amused at your question and you couldn’t decipher why.

You slightly laughed as you asked, “What?” 

“Well, typically, people ask me what it’s about, when they can see it, who I play, how much I’m making...You know, sort of superficial questions. I’ve never had anyone ask me if I like the work I’m doing though. So thank you for asking that.” 

You nodded, not thinking anything of it. That was a normal response for you. You cared more if people were happy, rather than what they were doing.

“But to answer your question,” he continued, shifting gears, “yes, I do like it. It feels very different from what I’ve done in the past and I really like that. I’m always trying to push myself and challenge myself, so having this new role is really amazing, to me at least.”

“I get that,” you agreed. “I’m a singer--well, a struggling singer--but I try to constantly hit new notes, sing in tones I’ve never done before. I try to do Christmas songs to blues songs to lounge songs, to pop songs...I am all over the map,” you said with a laugh.

“Oh you sing? That’s a really cool talent to have. My ass can’t sing to save my life,” he remarked. 

You shrugged. “It’s not for everyone. I used to think that anyone could sing, if they tried, but after working with a lot of friends and offering lessons and such over the years, it’s not the case.”

“I bet. Same as acting. I’ve met a lot of people that I thought, ‘Sure they can do this’...Then we start working and...it’s not there. Sometimes it’s just something someone has.”

“Yep, definitely,” you agreed. “So did something happen at work that upset you or…?” you questioned and he frowned slightly at you, so you elaborated. “You said you needed someone to talk to…”

“Ah, right,” he noted, leaning forward. “Well, I guess it’s just...all the shit surrounding this breakup. Being in this city, seeing places we used to go while we were filming or visiting each other. Like, I saw this ice cream shop that I took Briar to when Rachel brought her while I was shooting.”

You nodded, listening to him.

“Or, like I saw this cool little pizza place that I took Rachel after we finished shooting Jumper,” he said, shrugging. 

“I know what you mean. Even just...being at my house now is a little stifling. I mean, I know at the end of the day, Jason and I weren’t meant for each other, but it still sucks to come home to an empty house. I look at it now, and I see the couch where we binged Punisher. Or the kitchen were we made so many meals and joked around.”

“Yeah,” he agreed quietly. “Yeah, shit like that just gets me. And of course, not seeing my daughter anymore. That’s really the worst. I just...I was with her every day of her life, and now I barely see here. It’s almost worst being here because she’s so close, but so far...ya know?”

“I think I do,” you agreed. “I can’t imagine how hard that is for you. I’m really sorry,” you offered, placing your hand on his knee.

“Thanks. I mean...I’m kind of like you, where, I know that Rachel and I are just two very different people. It took me a long time to realize that. I think I started seeing it while we were still together, and she definitely did. Then after the breakup it still took me awhile, but I’m starting to accept that.. She’s a socialite, she loves being around friends and being out and about, and I get that. That’s cool for her. But I just can’t stand the pressure of that shit and I prefer to be home, playing games, working. It probably sounds like a stupid reason to break up but--”

“No, it’s not,” you countered gently but firmly. “If two people aren’t right, then you aren’t right. You two deserve to do things you want with no pressure from the other to conform.”

“Some people might argue that you should compromise, if you really love them,” he challenged.

You shook your head. “Compromise is getting Chinese for dinner instead of pizza, or going with the cheaper china set than the one you really wanted because you just can't afford it right now, or choosing gray because you want black and they want blue. It’s not one person saying ‘I’ll stay home forever because you want it’ or ‘I’ll go to every event because it’ll make you feel better.”

“But wouldn’t the compromise be for me to go to some events and for her to stay home sometimes?” 

You shrugged. “In that case, it’s sort of picking your battles, right? Well, how do you pick your battles. Let’s say she wanted to go to a wedding this month, so you go, but next month, there’s a baby shower that you don’t want to go to, but she really wants to go. Now, you’ve done her a favor, it’s time she did you one, but it probably wouldn’t turn out that way.”

He slightly smiled, amused. “You make this sound like prison. You get time to do this, but not this,” he said, gesturing with his hands from one imaginary thing to the other.

You shook your head. “No, not at all. But if we go with your idea that it should be a compromise then you’re sort of limited. Let’s say you go to everything she wants to go out and do; drinks with friends, shopping, a house warming party, whatever. Let’s say you go to all of those, what do you get out of it? How do we make Hayden happy?” you asked rhetorically.

He shrugged in response. 

“You leave early. Instead of spending two, three, four hours, you spend an hour and a half and leave,” you suggested. 

“But then it almost feels pointless,” he added. 

“Exactly. In your case, there’s not going to be a clean, even way to make sure everyone’s happy. You toss a coin, figuring out when to go or stay or you sacrifice both of your happinesses by cutting it short for her, but making it end for you.”

“You make it sound so...cut and dry,” he retorted. 

“Do you see any other option?” you challenged.

Of course, though, he didn’t. How could he? If he saw a different option, he would’ve done it. He would’ve exhausted his resources, you could tell. You hadn’t known Hayden long, or knew him well, but he seemed like a man who cared, and cared deep. You didn’t feel like he would give up without a fight, especially if his daughter is involved. 

“No,” he sighed truthfully. 

“Precisely my point. You either both compromise so much neither one is happy, or you just...let each other go. It sucks, it hurts like hell no matter how logical it is, but...sadly, that’s life.” You shrugged, watching him as he listened to you.

He bobbed his head in agreement. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.”

“Unfortunately, I am most of the time,” you said with a bit of a laugh. His gaze slid to yours, trying to give you a look of “give me a break” but he failed and started to chuckle.

Just then, the room service arrived. Hayden let them in and you two sat your things on the coffee table and you were about to dive in when Hayden asked you if you wanted to watch TV. You said sure and he turned it on some random sitcom you’d never seen before, but it was enjoyable. 

After your dinner, you had started to talk about the show that was playing and you two had segwayed into other shows and movies you liked. Come to find out, you had rather similar tastes, but at some points you butted heads and debated key points to movies. He thought some were superficial, you thought they were deep and moving. You thought some were just over stimulated guy flicks, and he said they were well thought out heist films. 

At some point, you’d started talking about Great Gatsby and if he’d read the book. He said he had, and that sparked more discussion on books versus film, then you started simply talking books and you two didn’t overlap too much there, but it was still fascinating to hear what he reads. As well, he seemed to be intrigued by your choice of books as well.

The entire evening felt so relaxed, and fun, and no pressure to impress him, or to agree with him like you had with Jason. With Jason, if you disagreed, he tried to make you see his point, but he went about it in a way that made you feel stupid and uneducated. He made you feel bad for having your opinion, if it was somehow wrong. You didn’t think he did it on purpose, but by the end of your conversations with him, you couldn’t help but feel that way.

Even with friends you felt this way. Your friends always seemed like they needed constant entertainment, something new and exciting, something to gab about, instead of just...chilling. Not Hayden. 

You left around three in the morning and headed home, feeling so warm, and happy for the first time in a long time, and you didn’t want that feeling to go away anytime soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[maehara-san]

strawberry feelings

Pairing: AU!Katsuki Bakugo x F!Reader

Summary: After looking for months for a job position you finally get an opportunity at a big company. Being the assistant of the angriest person was going to be a lot harder than you thought it would be.

A|N: I can’t believe you guys managed to get my series list to 1k+ notes! That’s insane thank you for sharing my series it means the world <3 <3 We are also close to 700 followers as well! I love you guys thank you so much!!

🄼.🄻🄸🅂🅃

ⓉⒶⒼⓈ  ⬇⬇⬇

Beads of sweat kept running down the sides of your forehead. It was impossible to keep going, you knew your body would end up giving out any second.

“I-I...” you huffed out as your calves were getting ready to give out at any second. “I-I can’t! Tenya!... Y-you’re going too...d-damn fast!”

The blue-haired man turned around and stopped, taking a good look at you he realized you weren’t lying. Iida moved his glasses up the bridge of his nose into a comfortable adjustment. “Alright.” he said, “Let’s stop here and walk back home.”

“T-thank you!” you mumbled and collapsed on to the ground panting heavily. As much as you tried to breathe properly it was impossible getting enough air in.

“I get that I didn’t run for almost three weeks....b-but was it necessary to get up at 6 in the morning?” you questioned looking at him.

“You were the one who said you wanted to get back to running.” he answered, “I won’t be able to do it later since one of my patients is having surgery today...”

“Right...little Yui.” you said “H-How is she doing?” you grabbed your filled water bottle and began to drink sighing as you felt the cold water running down your throat.

“Yui is doing better, we hope this surgery will be the last. After all, she’s barely a kid, and getting these many procedures is too dangerous for her body to handle.”

You smiled softly looking at him “Don’t worry. She’s in good hands, Yui is being treated by the greatest Surgeon in the world!”

He smiled small “Thank you Y/n. Are you ready to head back? We have an hour until we have to go back to work.”

“Yes, I’m ready to go home and get myself cleaned. I need to ASAP since today there’s a lot to do,” you added.

“When aren’t you not busy?” he joked.

“Stuff that happens when you become an assistant I guess.” you shrugged “I’m stopping by after work to bring you dinner though.”

“I can’t wait to look forward to it then.” he chuckled.

After an hour and a half, you’d finally made it to the company on time with fifteen minutes to spare. You checked in at the front desk, quickly making your way over to the cafeteria to pick up Midoriya’s coffee for the morning.

“Busy morning?” Sara asked as she handed you the fresh cup of coffee along with a treat.

“A little you could say that.” you answered chuckling and gave her the money, “I’ll see you at lunch!”

She waved goodbye only shaking her head, smiling at your silliness. You checked the time seeing you had five minutes left. You headed to his office and began sorting everything out for the day. The coffee was neatly placed on his desk, the papers that were scattered across were put back into the same file.

The phone then rang, you quickly went over and picked it up. “Midoriya’s office, [name] [last name] speaking,” you spoke grabbing your notepad and pen ready to write a message down.

“Hello this is Hassaku Daisuke from Iwate school of Engineering.” he said, “Is Mr. Midoriya there by any chance?”

“I apologize but he hasn’t arrived yet. Would you like to leave a message?” you asked.

“Please tell him to call me back as soon as possible. I’d like to speak to him about something important. I’ll leave you my number so he can contact me.” he said.

You then agreed and wrote down the phone number making sure it was correct. Afterward, you bid him goodbye and hung up, you placed the sticky note on your desk where it won’t get lost.

“Hey.” someone spoke, you turned around and saw Bakugo standing there by the door.

Your cheeks turned a light pink “H-hey...Bakugo.” you softly smiled “Midoriya hasn’t arrived yet if you were looking for him.”

“Actually... I came to see you.” he rubbed the back of his neck feeling nervous to look at you. “I wasn’t sure if you had anything to eat yet...” he then moved his arm forward to show you two plastic food trays. “Are...you hungry?”

It was hard to contain the smile that was spreading widely by the second. Trying to keep yourself calmed down you nodded shyly, “I-I am...I was about to get something to eat.”

Bakugo smirked, “It’s a good thing I showed up first then.”

‘The way he dressed today makes it hard to look away, I can’t believe he brought me food.’ you thought ‘Maybe...he’s changing...’

“What?” he asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Oh no!” you raised your hands while shaking your head, you chuckled lightly “Sorry...let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

A small smile formed on his lips, his heart was racing and smirk was impossible to hide. You opened your plate to see Tamagoyaki on top of a bed of rice and a side of miso soup with some slices of salmon as well. The steam hit your nostrils making your stomach grumble. you didn’t realize how hungry you were.

“This...looks delicious. Thank you for the food Bakugo.” you said, “They’re all my favorite foods.”

He nodded “You should start eating...or else...you’ll pass out throughout the day.”

Sitting down next to each other you tried your best to calm your beating heart.

"Have you spoken to Mina?" he asked.

"No not after the conversation we had. Denki and her have been busy these days." you answered, "I'm surprised she hasn't messaged me she usually does."

"As long as she hasn't told you anything embarrassing about me then I'm fine with that." he admitted "I can't believe she opened her mouth," he mumbled poking at his rice before grabbing it with his chopsticks.

"I mean...all in all I'm glad she told me what was going on." you confessed "It...well...- gives clarity on how things are now at least." you chuckled rubbing the back of your head. "That's a good thing no?..."

Bakugo nodded biting his inner lip "Yeah...just not the way I wanted you to find out."

"But it worked and I'm thankful she told me that night. It helped make things clearer for me now that I understand."

He placed his chopsticks down on the table and looked at you. "About Abigail..."

"You don't have to explain it to me." you said "I know you both have a past...and I'm not inclined to say anything when I don't know how it happened or how you're feeling. All I ask is...for you to be honest...as long as you're doing that then...that's all that matters."

"Mhmm." he sounded sure yet at the same time he was conflicted about how things will turn out.

You smiled brightly and then dig into every piece of food in front of you. It was truly heaven how all the flavors came together so well. “I know that Kaminari and Todoroki are into business as well...but what about Iida?” Bakugo asked.

“Iida chose a different profession he was set on going into business with Todoroki then he had a troubling moment in his life and decided to pursue into being a doctor,” you answered. “He’s a great surgeon, after studying for 12 years he was able to finally be part of a hospital and is now doing surgery for almost 2 years.”

“That’s...a lot.” he said, “I’m surprised he never gave into to changing is occupation.”

“He did actually, a few times. Some of the professors weren’t all that understanding, they were tough which brought his confidence down. Still, he never gave up even when it was impossible to pass at times.” you smiled small “I admire him...he’s been so strong, sometimes I wished I had his dedication.”

Bakugo placed his chopsticks down and turned to look at you. “I know I was a dickhead...and you wanted to quit. But I think you have a lot more guts coming back here despite all the bullshit I threw at you. You’re definitively strong and not weak for wanting to leave. I was at fault for that. You are doing fine now, even if another problem happens you know not to back down. That’s what you’ve always shown.”

“It wasn’t easy...still isn’t actually.” you admitted “A lot of people still believe that I was the one who screwed up on the project.

“Fuck them.” he abruptly said.

You were taken back by his use of words knowing these were his employees he was talking about. “I-I know they were talking bad but I don’t it’s necessary to talk like that-”

He then cut you off “-it doesn’t matter if they’re my employees or not. They’re talking crap without even knowing shit in the first place. It’s not acceptable, I’m not going to defend them if they’re acting like a bunch of high school punks. This isn’t a playground anymore, if they’re brave enough to talk crap behind your back then they’re too weak to tell you upfront.”

As much as you tried being the good person you knew deep down he was right. People like that shouldn’t be respected, it’s not okay to start rumors where you’re supposed to be professional.

“I hate to say that...it’s the way to go but in the end...” you sighed “You’re right Bakugo. Sometimes it's impossible to change their mind no matter how hard you try.” you played with your fingers looking down at your lap as flashbacks began to come back.

There was a change in the mood, Bakugo noticed it right away. Something was hurting you, yet it wasn’t his place to ask you about the problem not when it was troubling you so much. He moved his chair closer to you and held your hand.

Without any warning or signs, he was holding it protectively. You couldn’t talk, there was something about him that made it impossible to speak. He looked at you in the eyes. With his look he saying so much to you even if it seemed like he wasn’t.

“It’s fine.” he softly spoke.

Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest. You couldn’t look away from his red orbs. “Please don’t let me fall.” you suddenly spoke not realizing what was coming out of your mouth.

“Never.”

Your lips curved into a small smile hearing his reply.

A knock then sounded at the door disrupting the moment between you two. “Ah! Here you are [last name].” Your friend and colleague, Nakano, spoke as she opened the door seeing you and Bakugo together.

“Nakano, hey is there something you need?” you asked.

“Mr. Midoriya is here he’s waiting for you in the conference room,” she said.

You looked at her confused, “In the conference room? Did he say what for?”

“All he mentioned was about it being important. He told me to take care of any calls that came in.” Nakano replied.

“Oh.” you said, “I see, thank you I’ll be right out then.”

She excused herself and closed the door. “You should get going it’s important you don’t want to keep him waiting,” Bakugo spoke.

“Right.” you slightly smiled, “Um...thank you for the breakfast. I’ll make sure to finish it later when I get back. I’m sorry I have to go.”

“It’s fine.” he replied “I need to talk to Kirishima about something. At least you have something in your stomach.”

“I’ll see you later then,” you said grabbing your phone and clipboard along with a few other important things. Bakugo gave you a nod, you turned back around to look at him again before closing the door.

Your heart was still beating when you left the room. You weren’t sure how to comprehend what happened in there. All you were sure about was how your chest tightened when he held your hand in yours.

‘Whatever happens...I don’t want to be afraid of going forward.’  you thought. Upon seeing the room you took a deep breath and calmed yourself down before walking down the stairs.

When you arrived in the lobby you saw someone standing in front of the main deck. “I need to speak to her please, if you tell her who I am I’m sure she’ll know who I am.” they impatiently spoke.

“I understand but she’s in a meeting right now with Mr. Midoriya. I can’t interrupt-”

“Suzuki, it’s okay,” you said walking over to the person who had their back turned towards you. “Is there something you need that’s important?”

The mysterious stranger then turned around, your legs took a step back not believing who it was. “W-what...are you doing here?” you questioned trying to keep your voice down.

“I need to talk to you.” they went to touch but you moved your back not wanting to be anywhere close to them. “Don’t...touch me...”

They sighed “You must come with me.”

“Why would I want to go anywhere with you, Reo?-”

“It’s your dad.” he answered, “He’s at the hospital.”

Your eyes blinked not comprehending what he had said “What?... Why did they call you to come? You have no business with them.”

“I was at work when your mother called me telling me about your dad. She didn’t have anyone else to call. She insisted that I’d come for you so you could go see him.” he explained.

“It doesn’t matter...there’s no reason for me to be near them...please leave,” you said swallowing the cries that wanted to erupt. “I don’t want to have to call security.”

“I understand that you don’t want to see me but they’re your parents first.” he said “The least you could do is push away that anger and go see them. I’m not sure how injured he is.” Reo then took out a card and wrote down the address of the hospital he was at. “If you change your mind this is where he is.”

The numbers were immediately recognizable to you “He’s in the hospital where Tenya is working at?”

He nodded “Tenya offered to look after him, I don’t know much about your dad’s details. I was at fault for all that happened don’t hold the grudge against them. You know how long it has been...don’t let more years pass by.”

Reo then left, Bakugo walked down the same stairs after seeing the mysterious man leave. “Is everything alright?” he spoke.

Your phone then vibrated, Tenya had sent you a message telling you about your dad’s condition. “Yeah...everything is fine,” you answered. “I should get going, Midoriya is probably waiting for me.”

“You don’t need to lie,” he said.

“I’ll talk to you later Bakugo.” you excused yourself and went to the conference room. He followed you and managed to stop you before entering the room. You were going to ask him to let you go but he spoke.

“I’ll tell Midoriya what happened. You should go to the hospital you have a job to be next to your father,” he said.

“And I have a job to do here as well, I can’t drop everything and go see them,” you added. “I’ll go once I’m done-”

“You can come back and do the work he told you to do. Right now something else is more important than attending a stupid meeting.”

‘He was right...why was he right?!’ you thought, struggling to find an answer to this whole mess. Sometimes you preferred to not have had parents, now when everything was set and done it’s like fate wanted to mess with you.

You relaxed your arm, “Fine...” you softly spoke, Bakugo then let go of your arm “I’ll go...I will be back in time before we all get together in the afternoon.”

“I’ll tell Midoriya and let him know you needed to get something done,” he said looking at you. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will.” your eyes looked at the door and then left leaving Bakugo alone.

He opened the brown double door, inside he saw all sorts of people standing around. Some he knew while others were only strangers he didn’t care about. “Midoriya,” he called out.

The green-haired man then turned around to see his colleague standing there. “What is it Bakugo?” Midoriya asked.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

➞➞ tags closed ➞➞ 

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[purplesurveys]

1264

Who are you subscribed to on YouTube?  Oh man, I’m probably subscribed to over a hundred, if not 200. I’ve subscribed to channels relevant to interests I’ve had over the years, and since it’s not my habit to do spring cleaning on my feeds, the subscriptions have just keep piling up even if I no longer keep up with literally like 98% of them.

Do you like to go to the farmer's market?  I don’t think I’ve ever been in one yet. They aren’t very common here and the ones we do have are pricey and mostly inaccessible to the everyday consumer, I’m sure.

What will (or was) the color of your wedding dress be?  I wouldn’t want any other color than white.

What's your favorite melon?  I don’t like fruits.

What was the name of the last pet of yours that died?  Arlee. Technically my family mostly considered her as just Nina’s pet, but the sting was felt all the same when we learned she died.

When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with?  Yesterday, because it was Friday. Pretty self-explanatory, I wanted to get to the weekend so I can finally let go of work for a couple of days.

Name one person you've never had a fight with:  Andi. I think we’re both afraid of pissing the other off, which works out for us lol.

What are you currently listening to?  I can just hear the really loud whirring of my electric fan because it’s a grossly humid day today.

What would you rather have: cat or dog?  Dogs.

Who is your least favorite person in real life?  I have a lot of uncles I just don’t like.

Do you ever watch anybody's live stream of... anything, really?  Technically, yeah. I will sometimes tune in to livestreams of lofi music on YouTube, but I do it to listen, not to watch. 

Does your house have security cameras?  No.

If you go grey as you age, would you dye your hair or let it be?  I think I might dye it for a certain period of time, but I also think I would eventually reach the point where I’ll just accept it and slowly let go of the dye.

What was the last establishment you stopped going to due to bad service? What happened?  I haven’t run into much bad service, but I’ll never forget how long my order and bill took for Mad Mark’s. I never really vowed per se to never go back there again and I definitely didn’t confront the staff, but I haven’t eaten there since that incident.

What soundtrack do you listen to the most?  Not a big soundtrack listener.

Was there a family secret you weren’t told about until you were an adult?  Nah, they’re kept from us until now. The biggest one I’ve heard about was having a kleptomaniac in the family but we were never told who it is.

Do you have an opinion most people you meet seem to disagree with you?  Yeah, my dislike for fruits.

What’s something you like to have many options to choose from?  Clothes, I guess, like bucket hats. I don’t shop a lot and clothes aren’t a priority in my budget, so when I do pick out clothes, it has to be exactly what I want so that I don’t feel it was a waste of money.

What’s the strangest decorative object you own?  We have several quirky, disconnected decor in the living room from gifts we’ve acquired over the years. One object I can tell you about is the polar bear glass figurine we have on the coffee table.

What’s a thing you couldn’t imagine doing with your life right now?  Dating around.

What’s been your proudest moment?  Managing to stay alive this year and turn my life around for the better when I thought there was no hope.

What’s the filthiest non-pornographic movie you’ve seen?  Eyes Wide Shut, probably.

Do you know anyone who doesn't seem to be fond of animals?  I don’t think so. Like any animal...? I would find that quite odd, honestly. And I wouldn’t want to be friends with them if we weren’t already close .

Are you planning any outings or trips anytime soon? Whereabouts?  No, nothing set in stone. I do want to fly out to South Korea soon, though.

Do you know anyone who has a phobia of a certain animal?  I know a few people who are afraid of dogs.

Is there a particular brand of technology/electronics that you prefer?  Yeah, Apple.

Is there a singer whose voice gives you goosebumps/chills?  Hayley Williams and Jin, especially when he’s belting; and I don’t listen to her much, but I find that Billie Eilish has a unique voice that sounds really nice.

And is there a singer whose voice you simply can't stand?  Selena Gomez for some of her songs, Meghan Trainor for most of her songs.

Are there any authors that are particularly dominant on your bookshelf?  No.

Have you seen any photographs or videos that made you smile today?  Sure.

Which item in your fridge are you most looking forward to consuming? My aunt sent over this gigantic-ass slab of salmon that I can’t wait to eat as sashimi. I already had a few pieces last night and it was hea ven ly.

Has anyone you know got into a new relationship lately?  Hmm, I don’t think so. I know my coworker Dev got into a relationship a few weeks ago but it fizzled out as soon as it started because the guy was shitty.

If you menstruate, do you experience much PMS prior to it?  Only on the emotional side; I rarely get physical symptoms. I usually feel down or emotionally heavy a few days before my period.

Have you ever had a tattoo covered up or added to?  No, I don’t have any tattoos. Can you remember the last time you had a sudden change of mind?  Hmm, like last night. I wanted to stay up to maximize the weekend, buuuut I decided against it and slept instead since I had been up since 2 in the morning.

When was the last time you did something on a whim?  Two weeks ago when I impulsively dropped a thousand bucks to have cheese tarts delivered to Angela and Reena, hahaha.

Were you raised by both of your parents? If not, then who raised you?  My mom, grandma, and one of my aunts were the main people who raised me. Dad works overseas, so he was never at home much.

Have you ever began a relationship with someone you knew for less than a week?  No, I wouldn’t do that.

Has one of your friends ever tried to ‘hook you up?’  Mik tried to pair me with one of his friends just days before I finally implied on social media that I was no longer in a relationship. It was a cool ego boost but I declined, since my emotions were still super turbulent then. Andi tried to initiate sex with me once too, but I also declined.

What is your card game of choice?  I hate card games; I can never seem to understand them lmao, though that’s really more of a me problem than anything else.

What is your favourite books series?  Growing up, I really loved the Septimus Heap series. But the thing about it was that I got into it while the series was still ongoing; and with how bad my attention span is, I always forgot the events/plot whenever the newest book came out. 

So whenever that happened I had to read the entire series from Book 1; eventually the number of books I had to reread/revisit became too many (it was a seven-part series) and I simply just lost the time to read and I never got to know about the conclusion.

Do you prefer landmarks or street names when being given directions?  Street names – more precise. Landmarks to me can be pretty subjective – a green building might look blue to me, and I could just end up being lost.

Do you read the prologues in the beginnings of books?  Sure.

What was your favourite gym class moment?  If I genuinely like or already play the sport that was being taught. That’s why PE table tennis was a lot of fun for me.

Do you think that ocean boardwalks are fun?  I’ve never been on one but I imagine they are fun, yeah.

Do you dread when people ask you to sign their yearbooks?  That’s not a tradition here.

Do you have a favourite Scooby-Doo movie?  No. I was too young for Scooby-Doo in a sense that I do remember watching the movies as a 3/4 year old as they were kept on in the background at home, but I didn’t get any of the plots/didn’t really appreciate the films.

Do you think it’s cute when toddlers try to run away and fall down?  Sometimes, yeah. If the fall looked nasty I would obviously be concerned.

Do you enjoy listening to your grandparents tell stories of their past?  Honestly, only one of my grandparents would be the type to do this but he’s been dead for six years now. It’s a big shame he passed before I could bond with him the way I had always wanted to. My three other grandparents are either too closed off or too quiet to share stories from their youth.

Do you have a crush on someone? Nah, nothing more than a celebrity crush.

If so... what does his/her name begin with? 

What attracts you to them? 

Do they know that you like them? 

If they don't know, why didn't you tell them? 

Name two people that you miss:  Angela and Laurice.

Have you ever seen Titanic?  More times than I can count. I’m sure I memorize like 80% of the script, too.

Have you ever swam with dolphins?  No. I’m not so sure if I’ve seen dolphins, either. Maybe I have? Or maybe I’m confusing it with whales...idrk.

When was the last time you had a stomachache?  Wednesday.

What's going to bed early for you?  11 PM or midnight.

Do you want to have a big family in the future?  I used to, but I don’t think that’s the future I want anymore. One or two kids should be okay.

What was the last thing you did that gave you a rush?  Technically speaking, an orgasm, I guess?? Lmao idk

Favorite Nicholas Cage movie?  I don’t think I have one.

Have you had your Covid vaccine yet? Which one, if you have?  Yeah, I’m fully dosed. Sinovac.

If you've had your vaccine, did you experience any side effects?  I was suuuuuuper tired right after my first dose and I wanted to be knocked the fuck out, but I went right back to work after the shot because I am allergic to filing leaves hahaha. Second dose went smoothly.

What's the next item of clothing that you intend to buy for yourself?  A bucket hat or maybe one of the Fila x BTS shirts because the collection is actually quite cute!

What Facebook groups have you found the most helpful?  I join Facebook groups to be entertained, not because I actively look for advice.

Do you like your butt? Why or why not?  Yeah. It...has a good form hahahahahaha.

Have you ever personally been a victim of homophobia?  Yes, a few years ago I went to a food park with my ex-girlfriend. I was already not feeling my best that day to begin with, so having to see an old woman stare daggers at us for what felt like years really stung. I felt small under her look and almost cried, but in the end I felt angry that I momentarily felt shame about my relationship. I decided to just piss the woman off on purpose and do PDA right in front of her.

Do you think you’d be happier if you had a pet? I have two dogs at present and I know they make me extremely happy.

Who was the last person you went on a date with?  Gabie.

Were you ever hospitalized as a little kid?  No. The first and only time I was hospitalized (other than being birthed), I was about 12, I think.

What’s your favorite way to curl your hair?  I don’t do that. I rarely style my hair.

At what age did you start swearing?  I was 11.

What is something you physically can’t do?  Ride a bike.

What do like better, apples or oranges?  I don’t like any fruits; but in terms of flavored stuff, I like orange-flavored food, especially chewy candy, slightly more.

Around the holidays, do you hope for snow?  Well, no.

What are your top two favorite bands?  Paramore and Against Me!

How many people do you 100% trust?  There are a handful. I generally trust easily just because I like to believe all people are kind and loyal – but I can also take it away in the snap of a finger.

Do you care what others think about you?  Not so much.

Has anyone ever called you a bitch?  Sure.

Did you watch Teletubbies when you were younger?  Yeah but just super super faint memories. It wasn’t one of my main shows.

Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license?  I don’t.

Could you live the rest of your life without eating meat?  I doubt it. I could try, but I think I’d get cranky and start looking for meat way earlier than I would like to admit.

Have you ever had a rolling backpack?  Yup, if you mean a stroller. I think I’ve answered this on a previous survey.

Did you make any money today?  No, because it’s a weekend. What was the highest place you've ever jumped from?  Nothing dramatically high. I’ve had acrophobia-themed nightmares in the past, so even though I don’t actually have a fear of heights, the idea of jumping from a high place still makes me antsy.

Have you ever gone swimming in a river?  Not that I can recall.

What was the last souvenir someone got you?  I dunno if it counts but Andi bought merch from the AEW shop but made sure to also get a CM Punk sticker set for me :(

Do you have a favorite remix of a song?  Remixes have never been my thing. What do you think is the most saddest sounding instrument?  Piano.

Do you really pay attention to the ratings on movies?  Yeah they can definitely affect the level of appreciation I hold towards a film. For instance, if I genuinely enjoyed a movie only to find out it has average to bad reviews, it invites me to think more critically about the movie.

Do you have a favorite species of wild cat (tiger/lion/cougar/etc.)?  No.

If you had $500,000, what would you do with it?  Give half to my parents and let them do whatever they wish it. With the remaining P12,500,000, I’d probably get myself my own condo and have it fully furnished, then get braces, then get a new phone and laptop. I’ll have a bunch of money still left, I’m pretty sure – the rest of it I’ll save.

Did the last person you touched lips with have a kid?  No. I mean, I have honestly no clue what’s going on in her life now, but I know she doesn’t want kids so this is very unlikely.

"First loves are never really over." Is this true for you?  It’s true in a sense that she left me a lot of trauma and self-esteem issues that will irrevocably always be a part of me now even though I’ve worked hard to resolved most of them by myself.

Did you like Michael Jackson before he died?  Yes, because he has always been my favorite singer’s role model.

What are some things that would make you break up with someone?  I don’t know how to answer this question, honestly. All the red flags were thrown and tossed and slapped into my face and down my throat for six years yet I never left. I don’t actually know what my limits are, and I believe it’s because my coping mechanism has to just accept things and suck them up no matter how bad they get. That’s what I’m trying to change for myself now.

What was the worst breakup you've ever had?  I’ve had two breakups with the same person, and the second one was worse.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

Rainy day gyroids

Rainy days are the perfect excuse to stay inside with a cup of warm tea and a good show to watch while letting the day pass on by. How fitting is it that the theme of this gyroid event happens to be rainy days?

Joining us on this rainy day adventure are Robert and Mace, two former members of Jamie's entourage back when she lived on Peace Coast Island. Robert Azarias is a writer and actor, best known for his work in the TV show Faerie Town, which just ended earlier this year. Mace Callaghan is an actor whose career kicked off thanks to people like Jamie and his cousin Amelia, who's also an actor as well as a producer. Both have been super busy as they're on a new show that's set to premiere in the fall so they're at the camp for a short vacation after pretty much working nonstop for the past several weeks.

The new show is called Mount Barley, RFD - which stands for rural free delivery - and it's about a journalist who moves back to his old hometown to take care of his aging father and reconnects with his old friends. Mace plays the main character, Alex, an ambitious creative who has a tendency to get carried away with his ideas. Robert's the co-executive producer/showrunner and has a recurring role as Jerry, a friend and colleague of Alex's who sometimes gets dragged into everyone else's problems due to bad timing. Other characters include Alex's dad Emmett, the wise father figure everyone looks up to, Blossom the pharmacist who's a neighbor to Alex, Leia, a childhood friend and work colleague, and Deedee, the hairstylist who serves as Alex's source for gossip.

Having insider information is kinda a blessing and a curse. Well, what I mean by curse is that I can't say too much about something because of non-disclosure stuff, which means I have to be careful not to let anything slip. Especially with a lot of show creators, writers, and actors being active on social media, it's kinda easy to accidentally reveal something that wasn't supposed to publicly come out yet. It's not usually anything super confidential but some companies are more particular about what people say more than others. While being able to interact with crew members has its perks, it also has its drawbacks - then again, that's social media in general.

Robert's previous show, Faerie Town, ended last year after five seasons. A good number of the entourage members were in that show like April Wingate, Melody Muto, Linus Cooper, and Cecelia Argent. Robert was a writer on the show as well as a recurring character who became more prominent from season three onwards.

Ending the show was one of those cases where they were told ahead of time that they weren't going to get renewed. By then, the overall story they wanted to tell was coming to a conclusion so it made sense to start wrapping things up. Being an ensemble show, it kinda suffered from a large cast - I'm overall satisfied with the way the main characters were handled but at the same time I felt that it could've been balanced better. And I'll admit, the writing during the last two seasons were weak, but not to the point where the show went downhill.

The way I see it, there's a difference between a show going downhill and a show where the writing isn't as top notch. Downhill is bad, as in this has a negative impact on how I feel about the show in general. An example of downhill is Popular Besties, which, looking back wasn't entirely good, but I enjoyed it as a kid. It was one of those shows which the quality dipped a lot - and knowing the issues going on behind the scenes, it makes a lot of sense as to why - and it gets to the point where you're watching a new episode out of obligation or dropping it all together.

Hogan Family Values is an example of a show that has fallen to weak writing. Like Faerie Town, it has a big cast, though it struggles more in terms of having too many characters to handle. It's ending after three seasons, which has ten episodes left. Season three started out pretty strong, but since then it has been a mixed bag. We all kinda suspected that it was ending as some of the episodes kinda had that vibe and that was later confirmed by the creator just recently.

I think the biggest problem with this season is that the pacing's kinda rushed and I feel like the show has kinda written itself into a corner by trying to wrap up various plotlines while introducing a bunch of new characters/plot points at the same time. On one hand the show could use another season just to pad things out a bit, but at the same time it makes sense why they would end it there.

The show's still good though, it's just season three doesn't have the same spark as the first two did. I mean, the stronger episodes of this season are some of the best in the show overall while the weaker ones aren't entirely terrible, just mediocre, or at worst, somewhat boring. And despite my reservations at the moment, I have faith in the crew that the ending will be satisfying, even if rushed.

A show with a satisfying ending is Star's Universe, which has become one of my top favorite shows of all time. I think, if it wasn't for the network, the show could've easily run for another season to even out the pacing towards the end. It also suffered from the uncertainty of being renewed, which then led to a movie. While working on the movie, the network decided to order an additional season at the last minute to fully wrap things up. There's still a lot the show can touch on but it's all extra stuff - and while it could've focused more on the supporting cast, I can understand why they couldn't because it's essentially not their story.

As for the overall story the show wanted to tell, they not only succeeded, but exceeded my expectations. The conclusion's satisfying in a way that it's open enough to revisit but if that's the end, then I'm happy with that as well.

I think Star's Universe has ruined me in terms of judging series endings. It still kinda doesn't feel real that the show literally just ended less than a year ago. The writing has also remained consistently strong for the most part and it's just a brilliant show. Now I feel like binging on a bunch of episodes. I guess you can say it's one of my comfort shows.

While collecting gyroids, we got to talking about Mount Barley, RFD a bit as well as catch up on life in general. Robert's got an interesting backstory that Hollywood has been wanting to make into a movie for years. He was known as the Etienne Falls Baby as he was born en route on the ill fated train that crashed in the desert. His father died in the accident while his mother passed away shortly after, leaving Robert in the care of three friends who helped bring him into the world. Only one of them survived and he, while carrying Robert, made a dangerous trek through the desert to find help. After the tragic ordeal, he adopted Robert, becoming somewhat known as a hero.

Mace is the nephew of actor Gary Stewart, who's well known on stage and screen, as well as his daughters Amelia and Lesley. It was Amelia who helped Mace pursue his dream of acting by helping him stand up to his father, who was against it. At the time he was going through a lot and as a result of everything, he finally had enough. It wasn't easy going against his father's wishes, but he had to or else he'd be stuck working at the bank being his father's successor.

He's still hoping for a reconciliation, though it seems unlikely at the moment. Since moving to the island, Mace rarely spoke to his father, who has pretty much disowned him. Back home he heard that his father's not too crazy about Mace having his own show as that'll make him more well known. At least his cousins and uncle have always been supportive of him - he had always been closer to them, especially after his mom passed.

It's been raining all day, though it started out as a light drizzle at first. I don't mind the rain too much - it adds to the rainy day theme! I love how gray and cloudy the sky gets - there's just something about rain that's calming and cozy. Also, it was the perfect excuse to break out my new umbrella - and it was worth every leaf ticket because not only it looks pretty, it kept me dry. Aside from the mud, collecting gyroids in the rain was a lot of fun!

When it started pouring we headed back to the cabin to begin crafting some stuff. I was surprised that we managed to collect a lot of gyroids today, then again, I think the rain might've helped some. We also managed to do some fishing and bug catching as well, which the guys had never done before. Robert's a fast learner when it comes to fishing - and a lucky one too as he managed to catch two king salmons!

Aside from collecting gyroids, we didn't get to be able to do too much sightseeing today. Once the weather clears up, I'm thinking of setting up a picnic in the meadow and a short hike along the trail. Then, depending on Gulliver's schedule, I was hoping we can catch a ride with him and explore an island or two. Robert mentioned that he always wanted to try out sailing so I want him to experience that. As for Mace, he says he's content with anything the camp has in store and he enjoys running errands for the campers.

With the rain pouring, we all were in the mood for some tea so I put on the kettle as soon as we got inside. While waiting for the tea we set up the TV to watch some shows while helping Daisy Jane package orders from her shop. Nothing like cozying up with a nice hot cup of tea on a cloudy rainy day!

[penaltybox14]

Decofiremen: Soon Be the Dawning Days

@darknight-brightstar @zeitheist Every single one of my attempts to write pleasant holiday-oriented things ends up ass-deep in character dissection and plot exposition.  @squad51goals @its-skadi

In this installment, we talk about seasons, changes, and things to celebrate.

December darkens the days, and sharpens the nights.  There is frost every morning, and the sun is a pale consumptive, waking feebly and slipping weakly into evening.  The potbelly stove in the dorm is always burning, always someone up in the night to tend it, every hour.  The lads spend a productive few hours one off day re-arranging their beds, recaulking the windows, and hanging curtains.  When Josiah asks what they are up to, they explain the lads at the ends of the rows have been getting cold in the night, and they are trying to fix it up so that either everyone is warm, or everyone is cold.

"You mind, Captain?" Jules Menlo asks.  He and Bertram Cochrane have taken up the lead, since Antoine and Ellis left for the City.  They are raw to it, but they are learning yet. 

"Not at all, boys, carry on."

Josiah is pleased with them.  Neat and natty rows of beds can go to hell, the lads are making a fine hearth for themselves.  They make sure to vent it properly, and Lufty nods approvingly at their work - a house inside of a house, a canvas-flanked beast breathing and snoring in the wind-snipped nights.  Josiah only scolds them once, when he catches Davey at three in the morning carrying wood in for the stove.  Sure, he is wrapped up tight as a beetle in a sack of flour, but Josiah reminds them that he's just a boy, yet, and needs his rest.

Young Cleary had stumbled a while, the days after Antoine and Ellis were graduated.  Eddy had given him a scorcher of a talk for forgetting to include Davey in the proceedings, and he deserved it.  That responsibility is still so new and giddy to him - where now, he can remember his own graduation, and think well on it, and not always be so bitter - and he had left the boy bereft.  Fool that he is.  Even Silky would've cuffed him for it. 

My true friend Silky, he writes, one glassy morning when the sun had lost the strength to lift the frost from the grass, you would not believe me or maybe you would.  Do you remember the day the bell sounded for us, at breakfast?  In the good cheer of sending my lads to the city, I left out the boy who needs us most, our young Cleary.  Your god, my friend, would smote me off the earth.  It was a terrible mistake, for I frightened him so badly.  I had to set him down later in the day and explain all the proceedings and the ceremony.  I am not yet sure he forgives me.  I am not sure I deserve it.  Here he is, a boy who has already lost one family, and I am to take another from him.  You can be sure Eddy let me have it. 

yours irresponsibly, Birchy

In those following days, after Antoine and Ellis depart on the train from Troy, his heart aches, something like a tooth you want to forget, something a body can't escape from.  The long hallway is there in his dreams, in the boy's dreams, and now he hears the piano, and the distant laughter.  He smells the books in the study.  When he wakes, he feels the far-off gaze of a man much his senior, cool-eyed but in such a way as a lake when the summer days grow taut about the city streets.  An expectant look, a waiting.  Far off down that hallway, as far from the boy now as the Bronx for him, as the dorm he once sweat out his sear in.  He would want to look away, as the village folks and the oakbellies look at his scars and his brace.

He knows that hallway, and that's just the trouble, for young Cleary has walked it alone, trailing his fingers along the green wallpaper, and Josiah, trembling for the thought of the beam waiting in the ceiling, has not followed.  Coward, he thinks.  To let the child walk his hallway and stumble, smoke-wrecked, to his wide lawn, alone.  A one-legged and half-hearted coward.  Davey looks at him askance often in those following days - doesn't come to read with him or practice his Latin, doesn't follow the lads out on their drills no matter how they coax him.  He walks down the pathway past the brambles and into the woods, his too-large coat down past his knees and his collar up so high it leaves just his dark curls tumbling out in the sharp wind, and when he comes in for dinner, he is quiet and small among the lads. 

It is one of those long, weary twilights when the winter rattles like dry bones, and his leg aches.  He is fixing the ledger, making notes, and Silky's reply is on the edge of the desk.  Davey slips in so quietly he only hears it with his sear, so startlingly that Josiah leaves a blot on the end of a row. 

"Capper?"

He puts his pen down and smiles like he imagines Silky would at an Antoine or an Ellis.  Truth to say, he has missed the boy, even the sometimes frantic, fledgling winging of his sear.  He is far too young to grieve such an emptiness as that long, black hallway and the smoke-torn sky.

"May I ask a question?"

Times, the boy's genteel raising surfaces, softly like the wave on the shore.  Times, as now, he holds his cap in his hands as if he's in a holy place, and his eyes are the shyness of moss on a shadowed ledge. 

"Course.  Always."

"Eddy said firemen don't take holidays."

"Come sit.  What're you onto?"

"It's almost Dawning Days, that's all..."

"Oh, ghosts above, Davey - " Josiah has to laugh.  " - no, that's not how Eddy meant it.  He only meant that fires and accidents and all our work, it can happen any time."

Davey sits in one of the clutter of chairs in Josiah's office, kicking his legs, the gesture of a younger boy, an apologetic sort of gesture. 

"I don't mean to laugh, young Cleary, but we do know the Dawning Days."

From the sundown on solstice to daybreak on New Year's - the time of spirits, the time of the seasons shifting, the time to do good and remember that the sun is only resting for a grand debut.  The oakbellies throw a grand to-do at New Year's, all the officers invited to come at their most festive.  He has not gone - and the oakbellies are likely to be glad of it, he figures, for he would not cut such a charming figure in his full dress and a tin of polish on his leg.  They would, as they did at his promotion, shuffle and swallow hotly above their stiff collars.  He would probably stand the whole night out of pride and spend the week after in bed.  Perhaps it would be worth it.

"Do you have a party?"

"As many as we can."

"And lights?"

"As many as the sills will hold.  The lights and the cups left out for the ghosts.  Eddy has probably got another little tree to plant - you know, that stand of maple by the stables, that's his handiwork."

Davey is looking as delighted as Josiah has ever seen him.  His eyes are younger, now.  He is more the boy that he must have been in golden days, before his long dark hallway. 

"And you already know Bertram and his fiddle, and save us all, we've heard the lads sing."

"They taught me the fireman's song."  Davey grips the chair, and then pauses, as if lost of a sudden.  "Lyddie would've liked that song, I suppose.  Mother scolded her because she called the music our teacher brought her 'musty old tunes'."

From far away, in the marrow of his bones, Josiah feels the soft carpet of the parlor under his shoes.  Dark walnut bookshelves and rich, salmon-colored wallpaper embossed with an intricate pattern, the sort of thing a child would run their fingers over.  The books are less a rainbow than a late-summer forest, greens and smatterings of red and orange.  The girl playing the piano, with the bow in her hair, likes to spin cleverly from the plodding strains of an old mass to the bright chirps of ragtime and dance.  The brother laughs. 

The oak floors in their dormitory had what seemed to be a century of wax and polish creating glistening currents in the low lamplight.  They could have greased the bedsprings with a gallon of lard per man and the damned things would've screamed like witches every time a man so much as thought of rolling over.  A cold night outside, and a warm hearth within, each coat and helmet hung on its hook, each woolen blanket tucked neatly around each mattress corner.  The brothers are singing and the brothers are laughing. 

"Antoine wrote me a letter," Davey says, quietly.  "He says he got his sear."  Davey bites his lip.  "He says everybody looked after him, and his captain Jack Prince gave him a pocketwatch.  Does it hurt so much, always?"

"Every man is different.  It's a hard hand of days.  But we look after each other." "I don't remember, exactly.  I hurt so long, I was in bed and the lady wanted to call the doctor, I think.  I hurt so long, and then - then it just felt like - "  Davey leans forward, puts his arms on the desk and his head in his arms and sighs.  Muffled, he whispers, "I felt like - "

Like wandering, Josiah thinks.  That strange stillness when the fever breaks, before you come around to your mates watching over you, before you pull yourself out of your bed weak and stunned and brand-new on foal's legs.  A fresh and open field, the shaded place where the last dollop of snow lives nearly into June. 

"I know," Josiah murmurs, and lays his hand - his scarred hand - on young Cleary's shoulder.  "I do know, son, I do."

"I wished Antoine didn't have to hurt that way.  Or Ellis.  Or Jules or Betram." "I dunno what it was like - " Josiah sighs.  " - but for me, I had my mates around, and my pal, we got it together.  I never would've got through it, without him."

"Thomas."

Josiah starts.

"Sorry, Capper.  I read it on the letter.  Eddy talked about him once, too."

"Silky."

"Capper?"

"Silky.  That's what we called Thomas."

"Why?"

"I don't remember, really."

"What's he like?"

"Oh," Josiah says.  "I'll tell you.  You'd like him a sight better than me - for one thing, he's got two entire good legs and he could take you down to the fish pond.  Second - "

Davey is kicking his legs again, scuffing the toes of his boots on the wooden floor. 

"Well, I'll tell you.  The day I met him, here at Wynantskill, he very nearly ran me down with a horse, a big old dapple grey gelding we called Chubby..."

Davey leans on his hands. 

Silky's letter, half-unfolded, is by his elbow.  I never really got the brothers' whole forgiveness bit, it says, but I do reckon it's a little bit like when you turn over the ash of a building, and you find a little green thing growing underneath.

[thiswasinevitableid]

For the Meet Ugly Prompt: #23 Sternclary NSFW if you can :)

23: our mutual friend has been talking us up to the other and when we finally meet, we have to tell them that we’ve been in a feud for the last six years (and I can’t stop thinking of all the nice things our friend has said about you). NSWF

“EeEEH, I’m so excited for you to finally meet him.” Aubrey tugs her uncle down the hall, “he’s practically like another uncle to me, and he’s really such a fucking amazing cook--he made all the stuff tonight--so he’ll go with your whole foodie thing-”

“Critic, firebug, food critic” Stern smiles at her.

“Right, right, and he’s got the hunky lumberjack thing going that you know you love.”

“Geez, you buy one calendar-” he elbows her, chuckling. Then the world screeches to a halt. 

“Mr. Cobb.” He nods, polite as he can manage with rage-horns blaring in his head. 

“Stern.” The bearded man nods back, pushing off of the counter where he’s leaning, glass in hand, talking to Dani.

“Why do I have the bad feeling you two know each other.” Dani looks at her uncle nervously.

“You remember when Amnesty was first getting off the ground and we were struggling to get anyone to take us seriously? This” he points to Stern, no anger or ice in his voice but plenty in his eyes, “is the fucker who gave us the bad review that set us back months.”

“I was doing my job, I’ve told you that a dozen times since then, it was nothing personal. Unlike what you did afterwards.” He replies coolly. 

“Oh for fucks sake, I apologized for that.”

“Yes, two years after the fact, which hardly makes up for arguing with every review I wrote so forcefully that Hayes pulled me from the review circuit for months and made me do cookbook reviews instead.”

“Poor Stern, had to do a slightly different desk job while I was terrified the restaurant would go under.”

“You ended up fine, and if the food at Hornet is any indication, you improved.”

“Lucky me, getting such kind words from the illustrious Joseph Stern.”

“I was trying to-”

“Nevermind. I gotta go check the stuff on the grill.” He reaches the screen door to the back yard, then turns, “and I appreciate the thought, kid, but he’s just not my type.”

---------------------------------------------------------------

The problem is, of course, that Stern is exactly Barclay’s type. Or maybe he’s everyone’s type, all nice suits and handsome face and perfectly slicked down black hair. They’ve run across each other at plenty of food functions in the city over the last six years, and Barclay always feels like a scraggy mountain man standing near him. It doesn’t help that Stern talks about food the way other people talk about fine art, and Barclay could listen to him do it all day. 

He also tells really, really corny jokes when he thinks no one is listening, and Barclay hates his mouth for how many times it’s laughed at them. 

Making amends is the right thing to do, but every time he considered it his whole being--piloted by his ego-- recoils. 

But they’re going to be family soon. And his niece doesn’t deserve to deal with their feud. He picks up his phone, Stern’s number on his desk thanks to Dani’s wedding planning list. 

Me: This is Barclay. If you’re still reading, I think we should meet and talk things over. For real, not in the way we keep fucking up.

Stern: Why?

Me: Because your niece and my niece are getting married and I don’t want us bickering like jerks at the wedding.

Stern:Good point.

Me: Meet me at the Arch? Bar there is good.

Stern: Ok. 8 tomorrow work?

Me: See you then.

---------------------------------------------

Stern fights the urge to shred his napkin as he waits at the bar. Maybe this is a set up, or a trap, or-

“Hey.” Barclay announces himself with a tap on the shoulder. His auburn hair is hanging loose, and the blue shirt he’s chosen brings out the brown of his eyes and the copper in his beard.

Stern should stop staring. 

He picks up the drink menu as Barclay sits down next to him, “Um, the, um, I can buy. Consider it another apology. What do you get?”

Barclay gives him a mild smile, “How about you pick for both of us?”

It’s an olive branch wrapped in a challenge, and so Stern studies the menu carefully. Chooses the Bigfoot, a mixture of bourbon, chocolate bitters, with a splash of cherry soda, for Barclay and and the Roswell (smoked prickly pear juice and tequila) for himself. 

“Good choice.” Barclay smiles at him over the rim of his glass, the first genuine smile he’s ever sent his way, and he straightens proudly at the praise. 

“I remember the drink menu at Hornet was bourbon heavy.”

“Goes with the food, but yeah, it’s my booze of choice.”

“So…” Stern swirls the toothpick in his drink, “how do you suggest we go forward?”

Barclay sighs, “Was kinda hoping you had some ideas.”

“Look, how about we agree that when we’re together for wedding planning stuff, we don’t talk about our history, restaurants or food that isn’t specifically related to the wedding menu?”

“Deal.” Barclay finishes his drink, “what do we talk about instead?”

“Books?” Stern signals the bartender, orders them both another round.

“Works for me. Hmm, lemme guess, you read those big-ass historical ones.”

Stern snickers, “I prefer mysteries, or well done travelogue.”

“You’ve read Bourdain, I’m guessing?”

“Of course. He put me on to a cooking memoir by, by, oh damn it all, he wrote that Madeline series.”

“Bemelmans! Shit, I love his memoirs. They’re my comfort reads along with My Life in France.”

“Classic.” 

Before Stern even knows it, an hour has gone by, they’re three drinks in, and he has a new reading list. He also sees now why Aubrey thought to set him up with the cook; Barclay is easy-going and friendly, even stopping their conversation to exchange hellos with several staff that recognize him, a needed counterpoint to his own professional demeanor. That soft, deep voice slips under his skin, sets his nerves humming, and Stern wants to move closer, let those capable hands do whatever they wished to him if it meant Barclay would keep stealing appreciative glances at him. 

Then he puts his foot in it.

“....food was just a little heavy, like how it is at Amnesty.”

Barclay frowns, “have you even been back there lately?”

“No, I assumed I’d be forcibly shown the door.”

“I would’ve been tempted, but I’m a fucking professional, thank you very much.”

“Besides, it wouldn’t prove your point; I know you’re the exec, but you don’t cook there anymore.”

“Hold the fuck up, it’s my cooking you think was the issue?”

“I didn’t mean that, just that...no, actually, I did mean it. That menu never played to your strengths.”

“That so.” Barclay slams his glass down, the dram undercut when he flashes an apologetic look at the waitstaff before standing in Stern’s space and looming over him, “my house, Tuesday at seven. I’ll show you exactly how good that menu can be in my hands.”

“I look forward to it.”

Barclay leans closer and whispers “bring an appetite” in his ear, voice just shy of a growl. 

Somehow, Stern doesn’t think he’ll have trouble doing so.

------------------------------------------------------

Stern knocks on the door of the modest house. He knows Barclay is now worth quite a bit of money, so the fact he’s chosen an A-frame that looks like it belongs in Tahoe is charming. As was the afternoon they spent with their (clearly relieved) nieces testing out wedding cake ideas. Barclay even laughed at his corny puns and complimented his flavor choice (and how the suit he’s having fitted for the ceremony fit him).

“Come in.” 

He steps into the house, finds the kitchen off to the right, just beyond the dining room. There’s only one place set at the table, and when Barclay comes into view he sees why. The taller man is in his chefs whites, hair tied back, making Stern relieved he’s wearing a suit. 

“Should I…”

“Take a seat, first course is gonna be out shortly.”

“Right, of course--what’s that sound?” Something is whining behind a door down the hall.

“Hmm? Oh, just Sass, he heard someone come in and wants to be the welcoming committee. He’ll chill out in a sec, he has a dog puzzle there to keep him occupied.” Barclay turns back into the kitchen as Stern sits down. Thanks to the pass through, he can watch as he pulls down a plate and sets three parcels of dough on it. 

“You’re getting tasting portions” he sets the plate down, “I’m not blowing through a bunch of ingredients just to prove a point. Smoked salmon pierogies to start.”

Stern takes one bite and knows he’s beaten. The filling is perfectly seasoned, feels like butter in his mouth, and the dough is impeccably made. Maybe it’s a fluke, but all three are gone before Barclay sets the next plate in front of him.

“Bacon, arugula, goat cheese, and blueberry jam on sourdough.” The aroma from the sandwich is intoxicating. 

The first course was not a fluke, and he moans after taking a bite. Barclay chuckles, turning back to the kitchen. 

“So, Aubrey told me something interesting.” Barclay says casually as he slices what looks like lamb, “she said you don’t only write about food.”

“Oh lord.” Embarrassment creeps up his back, so he focus on his meal.

“Weekly World News is almost as good a byline as the Times.”

“Please don’t say more.”

“Bigfoot is my boyfriend’ was especially good.”

“Oh lord, you looked them up?”

“Yep, Aubrey gave me your pen name. I had a blast reading them, you should, uh, let that funny side out more.” The oven shuts and he returns to the table leaning against the counter of the pass through, “gonna be a minute more on the third course. How is it so far?”

“Incredible.”

“Glad to hear it.” Barclay wipes his hands on his apron and Stern has a moment of clarity; the cook is nervous.

“Can I tell you something nobody else knows? I, um, I’m working on a pitch that combines the two. I want to travel to famous paranormal locations and write about local food at the same time.”

“That sounds amazing.” Barclay pulls out a chair, “do you know if anyone’ll take it?”

“I’m trying some magazines and websites first, to see if they’ll pick it up as a series, which’d make it easier to jump to a book later on.”

A timer dings and Barclay stands, returning with a lamb pot pie for one that Stern eats without concern for how conspicuous his sounds of delight are getting. 

Dessert arrives on a small, round plate. Stern tucks into the airy chocolate strawberry cake with raspberry sauce on the side, notice Barclay already washing up. Pity, he was hoping he could stay and talk awhile. There’s only a bite or two left when he decides to admit defeat.

“This is one of the best meals I’ve ever had, Barclay. Whatever you were trying to prove, you proved.”

“Good.” Is all he gets in reply. 

“Barclay, I have to know: I wasn’t the only critic to give a less than stellar review of Amnesty when it opened. We both know that. So...why me? Why act as if I was the one who wronged you.”

Barclay turns, wiping his hands on his apron before hanging it up as he sighs, “yeah, you weren’t the only bad one, but the Times held more weight than any other food section in the city. When you reviewed us we were floundering, and when I saw it I just, I almost gave up; I’d put everything, my heart, my soul, my last dime, into Amnesty. And here was some critic basically dooming us. But once I was done being upset, I got pissed, threw myself into proving the bad reviews wrong and you, uh, you became the avatar for every critic who wrote us off as not being fancy enough to compete in the food scene here.”

“Are, did you make me your  fucking mental punching bag?” Stern stands just as Barclay leaves the kitchen.

“Yeah, and I’m not fucking sorry. That spite was the kick I needed.”

“And it nearly cost me my job, and my reputation!”

“Maybe you should have lost both, given that you helped Hayes shoot down anyone who threatened the old guard.”

“No I fucking didn’t! I fought him time and again to let me review new chefs, feature them, praise them. Lord almighty Barclay, I’m not some soulless fucking machine who just does as I’m told. In fact-” they’re toe to toe, his lower back to the table, as he pulls out his phone and searches, “even in my review, the one you hated, I was defending you, telling people to give you a chance.”

“Like hell you were.” Barclay snorts. 

“I’ll prove it, here” he clears his throat, reads off an excerpt, “Chef Cobb is clearly talented, with a sense of flavor that’s at once exciting and comforting. It is my hope that as Amnesty leaves it’s growing pains behind, we will see incredible offerings from him. There.” He tosses his phone on the table, “see?”

Barclay stutters once, twice, then mutters, “finish your meal, Stern.”

“No, not until you apologize.”

“Jesus christ, just eat the fucking cake!”

“Make me!”

Barclay inhales, long and measured, as he reaches around Stern and picks up the bite of cake. When he holds it to Stern’s lips, he keeps them in a firm line. 

“Open. your fucking. Mouth.”

“Fuck youOghm” he flails backwards, hand landing on his plate as Barclay shoves the cake into his mouth. He’s never had sweetness applied so forcefully, and the part of him that isn’t annoyed is screaming with arousal. 

He swallows, feels something sticky on his fingertips. 

Barclay leers, rumbles, “that’s bet-”

Stern smears his hand across his face, streaking raspberry sauce on his cheeks and mouth. 

Barclay licks his lips, growls, and lunges forward at the same moment Stern grabs his shoulders and pulls. Teeth connect first with his neck, then his lower lip before Barclay shoves their mouths together, moaning when Stern tugs their hips flush. Grinds against him so hard the table digs into his back as they yank ineffectively at each other’s clothes. 

“Tell me, Stern, four courses enough for you?”

“I’m satisfied. Barely.” He bites Barclay’s ear, making him grunt. 

“Barely? Barely? Fine, think I got one more you. On your fucking knees.” Strong hands shove him down by his shoulders, or they try to; he’s already dropping, panting in anticipation as he fumbles with Barclay’s pants. When he finally gets a look at his cock he groans hungrily at the size, lips staying parted as Barclay guides it between them with one hand and yanks his hair with another. 

He’s craving, praying for, and expecting roughness. Even so, he gags when Barclay thrusts as far as he can, toes curling and eyes watering as he bumps the top of his throat again and again.

“Fuck, fuck, there we go” he tugs his hair, wonderful pain prickling his neck and making him moan, “oh fuck yeah, every time I do that you tighten, so good, so fucking good.” He tightens his hold, fucking his mouth harder as Stern brings a hand up to stroke the base of his cock, “nmm, yeah, that’s it, show me what those hands are good for, god, fuck, Joe.” 

Stern whimpers, delighted at how his name sounds in that rough, demanding baritone. 

“Shit, fuck, you want something else to swallow tonight?”

He nods, paws at Barclays thigh. 

“Then you, fuck, you got it, fuckfuck Joe, baby, that’s it ohfuck.” Cum spurts down his throat and he swallows like he’s starving, licks and sucks when Barclay orders him to finish it all. 

As soon as the cook releases him, he drops to his knees on the hardwood next to Stern. Stern, for his part, is wondering if Barclay will at least let him hide in his bathroom a few minutes so he doesn’t have to drive home hard and soaking wet. 

Then his back hits the floor, one calloused hand cupping his face and the other yanking his pants open so messily a button goes flying. 

“I, you, you don’t have to-”

“Do you want me to?” Barclay pauses, meeting his eyes with such genuine, tender concern that he melts like butter in a pan. 

“Lord yes.”

Barclay’s hand slips beneath his boxer-briefs, three fingers sliding into him when he spreads his legs.

“Fuck, fuck, ohlord, Barclay, just a little shallowerAHfuck, yesright, right there.” He cranes his neck and Barclay gets the hint,dipping down to kiss him to the slick sound of his fingers fucking into him. 

Jerking his hips, he can’t find the friction he needs, so he reaches between them and tilts Barclay’s hand so his dick can drag across his palm. His vocabulary has diminished to affirmation laced profanity (or profanity laced affirmatives) and Barclay is faring the same, growling praise in his ear as he gives him more pressure to rut against. 

“Lookit you, god, shoulda known you’d look as good fucking as you do eating. Take me so well, gonna find every way to fill you.”

“Please.” He whispers, eyes squeezing shut in concentration.

“Gonna spread you out on a table and eat you like a fucking gourmet meal, gonna fuck that perfect mouth til your so full of cum you can’t swallow any more.”

“Lord, Bar, Barclay, please don’t stop, don’t tease.”

“Who said anything about teasing?” A tender kiss to the corner of his mouth even as the hand fucks him hard enough to make him cry out, “you’re my new favorite taste, babe, and I got so many fucking plans for you.”

Stern cums so abruptly his leg kicks out and bangs his heel on a table leg, but he doesn’t feel it. His would is the pleasure speeding through him, the repetition of Barclay’s name, the affection that overwhelms him and the fear nipping at it’s heels. 

He comes back to himself on his side, face nestled against Barclay’s chest. 

“Christ, think we both needed that.” The cook sighs, content, and pets his hair. 

“I, um, I certainly no longer feel the need to argue with you over things from six years ago.”

“Me neither. And, uh, I’m sorry for being a dick for so long.”

“And I’m sorry for the spot my review put you in.” 

Barclay laughs, shaking his head, “only took six years and some killer sex to get us there, huh?”

“It is pretty silly, in retrospect.”

“Your foot okay?”

“Uh huh. I, um, I can be out of your hair in a moment.”

Barclay raises an eyebrow, “because you want to be or because you think you should be?”

“The second one.” 

“Don’t gotta leave on my account. In fact, uh, I, uh, I was hoping maybe you’d stay. I want to test out some breakfast ideas on you. Also I like cuddling you and don’t want to stop.”

“A compelling argument. Though we should move to the bed.”

“On it.” Barclay stands, scoops him up with some effort, and carries him precariously to the still-shut bedroom door.

“Damn it.”

“On it.” Stern reaches out and turns the knob, whereupon Barclay barely gets him to the bed without dropping him, as Sass is boinging about their feet.  

“What kind-”

“Rottweiler, corgi, spaniel. I think. Not sure where the huge feet came from.” Barclay cuddles up next to him as he strips off his clothes. As he rolls under the covers, Barclay nuzzles his cheek.

“Would, um, would you like to try having a, um, a different kind of relationship? Like a dating one?”

“I’d love it.” 

Barclay’s smile is pure bliss, and when he kisses him, it’s the best taste in the world 

[aion-rsa]

The Teleprompter Interview: Katy Wix ‘My First Screen Crush was King Kong’

https://ift.tt/33I5zd9

“Anchors, rigging, shackles,” lists Katy Wix down the phone, “poop deck, wheelhouse, three sheets to the wind…” The comedian and writer has had a productive year. Filming wrapped on Ghosts series two just as UK lockdown began. Since then, she’s finished one book – Delicacy: A Memoir – due out next April, is pitching another, writing a TV show, and thanks to a new-found obsession with Netflix yacht-based reality show Below Deck, has also managed to acquire an enviable grasp of nautical terminology. 

Wix is an established UK comic actor, with credits across the board, starting with cult hit Time Trumpet and going mainstream as witless, lovable Daisy in BBC mega-sitcom Not Going Out. She’s currently part of Channel 4’s Stath Lets Flats, the hottest comedy around, fresh from multiple Bafta wins. She plays Fergie in royal satire The Windsors, and was among the comedian-contestants in series nine of Taskmaster. In BBC One sitcom Ghosts, Wix plays Mary, a 17th century yokel burned as a witch and now part of the motley group haunting a modern-day stately home. Mary’s distinctive west country accent “just came out”, says Wix. “It’s an insult really, because I can’t claim to do that accent well. It’s sort of a stock noise. The more I do it, the more I think it sounds like Nanny from Count Duckula. Ducky!”

Ghosts series two, which lands as a boxset on BBC iPlayer on Monday September 21st , will give fans more about Mary’s background, says Wix. “I think people will really love it, and then there’ll be another series next year, depending on the big C. Not cancer. The other big C.”

From superyachts to Alan Partridge, The Day Today to Ghostwatch, Anna from This Life to formative sexual fantasies about prehistoric apes… here’s the Katy Wix Teleprompter interview.

Your parents were quite arty, working in dance companies and the theatre. Did your childhood allow for much TV watching?

Oh my god, yes! My routine was: come home from school, watch the tail-end of Fifteen to One, and when I was really young, repeats of The Oprah Winfrey Show. Then it would be The Broom Cupboard, something like Round the Twist, then the sound of the Six O’Clock News and turning over to The Simpsons. I still do it now, if I’m at home and it’s five to six, I’m going to watch The Simpsons, it’s a tradition.

Welsh telly was slightly different to the rest of the country. We have S4C rather than Channel 4. I remember going through the TV listings and seeing what was on normal Channel 4, like The Word, then I’d look at Welsh Channel 4 and it would just be something boring in Welsh at the same time.

Was there a TV show that inspired you to start acting and comedy?

The one I remember the most is Abigail’s Party. Seeing Alison Steadman’s performance made me want to do character acting. It was just a phenomenal, convincing, detailed performance. Years later, I wrote a radio sitcom that she was in. It was one of those absurd moments where you just have to leave your body and look down on yourself to be able to handle it. 

That must happen a lot, you’ve been part of a lot of great comedy casts…

What got me into comedy was Brass Eye and The Day Today. When I was about 15, that’s what changed my brain. It was the first time I’d seen adults being silly and coming up with absurd situations that were my sense of humour. Before that, comedy on TV would always feel like just something your parents would watch but this really felt like it was for us, for me and my friends. It was the same with The Office.

And then you were in This Time with Alan Partridge with Steve Coogan last year.

I was in sixth form when Knowing Me, Knowing You came out and I had it on VHS. Watching people like Rebecca Front and Doon Mackichan… anytime Alan had a guest on the sofa, the level of detail and all the reactions and the tiny little social awkward moments, that made me think I want to do that type of performing. So then, when I got to be in the last Partridge, it was mad. It was phenomenal to be that near to the character and all his tiny micro-expressions. Even the colour of his socks – this weird salmon pink – that was so perfect. Tim [Key] was there as well and we’re old pals, so that made it feel more like, well if Tim can deal with it. But I think even Tim now says he still has times where he has to go into the loo and give himself a moment.

Who or what was your first TV love?

This will sound like a joke, but I swear to God it’s true. It was a running joke in our family that my first crush when I was about four, was King Kong [laughs]. My mum used to tease me about it all the time. It was the combination of brute strength and these massive, soulful, pained eyes – which I still look for in men – that absolutely got me. It was an erotic connection for me. When I look back on it in a Freudian way, it feels like a really obvious, very heterosexual image for a little girl to have, because I wanted to be that woman in the nightie in his massive hairy hand. 

Unusual, yes, but then a lot of people our age cite the fox in the Robin Hood Disney film as their first screen crush.

I do get that. I do get that. What was it about that fox?

He’s rakish. And politically, he was sound too – rob from the rich, give to the poor.

You’re right. And he was really confident too. 

Growing up, which TV character did you idolise?

There are two, a younger one and a slightly later one. When I was 11 or 12, I wanted to be a fashion designer. I would draw outfits all the time in my school books and I had the Usborne Book of Fashion Design and spend hours on it. So I wanted to be Hilary Banks from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air because she just had incredible fashion. She always got boys and she was really cool and confident and wore amazing clothes. She was everything I wanted to be.

Then a little bit later, maybe sixth form or in my early 20s. I wanted to be Anna from This Life, so much and I kind of still do. Because she was tall and really cool and had dark hair and a lot of attitude and wore black a lot and smoked a lot and didn’t give a shit. That was my vibe at university. 

Is there a TV character you’d like to be now? 

Probably still Anna? 

Which TV show gave you nightmares?

The massive one for me, when I was about 11 or 12: Ghostwatch. I went to a friend’s house to watch it and I remember being a bit like ‘yeah right’ watching it, and then when I got home that night, I just cried. I was in the bath, hysterical and my mum had to come in and calm me down. It was horrendous. 

Everyone totally swallowed it at the time, because we were less TV-savvy in 1992. I remember they had a phone-in and someone called in to say ‘There’s a shape in the curtains’, which really fucked me up. The whole Pipes thing. I remember being in my bedroom and seeing a shape of an old man in the curtain all the time. I’ve got really vague memories of Craig Charles being in a park, saying that someone had killed a Labrador. I was thinking about watching it again. I actually don’t know if I dare. 

Read more

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50 best British comedy TV shows on Netflix UK, BBC iPlayer, Amazon Prime, NOW TV, Britbox, All4, UKTV Play

By Louisa Mellor

TV

Not Going Out: the top 10 episodes

By Philip Lickley

When did you last cry watching television?

Last night. Have you ever seen the show Below Deck? I’m obsessed with it. I’m not massively into reality TV but it’s an American reality show all filmed on superyachts that rich people charter. It’s almost like a perfect sitcom family – you have a different captain every time and the deckhands and then the interior, who do the hotel stuff, and then you have the chef, who’s always a temperamental big personality and then each episode has a different group of insanely rich, usually quite horrible, sexist people with loads of money who get really drunk, that’s the premise. It’s non-stop drama. You’re just watching people fall off boats and have arguments. 

How did it make you cry?

In this episode, there was a girl who’d been really quiet and grumpy and everyone was slagging her off, and then she revealed that she’d got a text that morning saying her estranged father had died, so that’s what set me off. It’s got me through lockdown, it’s so addictive. 

When did you last laugh out loud watching television?

Below Deck, same episode!

All human life is there!

I think it was someone’s malapropism, that’s my favourite thing about reality TV, the way people talk in a kind of Stath-like way and get it wrong.

What was the last TV show you recommended to a friend? 

Below Deck! [Laughs] I’ve just got Lolly [Adefope] onto it, and Adam Drake – he’s a comedian in a sketch show called Goose and does Capital, a podcast with Liam Williams – he’s now devoted. One of my best mates was bemoaning that her boyfriend’s not into reality TV, but boys can watch Below Deck too. It’s got loads of boat stuff in it. Chains and anchors. I’m learning all these terms, like shackles, poop deck, wheelhouse, three sheets to the wind… That’s where the expression ‘in my wheelhouse’ comes from. Three sheets to the wind means you’re sailing off course. 

Which TV show would you bring back from the dead?

Changing Rooms. 

Good call.

I also loved The Late Review. I really loved that.

What’s a TV show you wish more people would watch?

Do you know Iyanla Vanzant? She started off on The Oprah Winfrey Show – I love Oprah so much – and she’s a TV therapist/healer/spiritual. She’s got a show you can only get on American TV called Iyanla: Fix My Life. She just speaks so much wisdom. She spends a week with people who are really traumatised and it’s their healing journey. It’s so moving, it’s so profound. She’s doing incredible work for the human race.

She did an amazing show called, I think, ‘The Myth of the Angry Black Woman’ with a house full of women of colour who all got to talk about this trope that they were angry and how they felt unable to speak without being silenced. She did a show that was rehabilitating people that had come out of prison and women that had been sex workers all their loves, just amazing. 

Which current TV show do you never miss an episode of?

In lockdown, what kept me going was I May Destroy you, obviously, Below Deck, obviously. I also became obsessed with the Japanese Big Brother Terrace House, but it just got pulled because there was a suicide. It was so, so awful. I read an article saying the producers didn’t behave well, so I feel like I can’t like it any more. I love Succession too. I started watching this show on Netflix called Intervention and got totally obsessed with it. Again, it’s maybe ethically a bit dubious. It’s American, obviously, and they’ll film an addict who’s in a really desperate state and then the family kind of trick them, or persuade them to go into a room and then the intervention therapist is there and they’re like ‘Guess what, you’re going to rehab now!’ Anything that’s got human suffering, and then a redemption story in it, I’ll watch. 

Given the power, which TV show would you commission?

I think about this a lot – what if I had a channel? I’d commission the sketch group Sheeps to make tons of series. That’s Liam Williams, Al Roberts and Daran Johnson, and so far they’ve only done live shows, but I would commission them for hours of TV. Colin Hoult doing his character Anna Mann, I’d commission hours of that. Everyone involved in Stath Lets Flats, I’d just say ‘Turn up, pitch and we’ll make it’. There’s a documentary from the 70s that I adore, that I would like to show again, which is John Berger’s Ways of Seeing. It’s one of the most beautiful, gentle documentaries. I feel like that should be on TV. And just whatever Gemma Collins is doing, commission that. 

Also, you know in the 90s, late at night you’d get some weird, bizarre performance art happening on BBC Two? I miss that. The sort of stuff that was on after The Word. And then finally, maybe just all of Peep Show again? 

What’s the most fun you’ve had making television?

Ghosts is where I probably laugh the most because of Lolly [Adefope]. We make each other laugh all the time. When me and Anna [Crilly] did our sketch show on Channel 4, it was incredible. It was stressful but exciting. It was such a nice atmosphere to be with all these gorgeous people that you find funny. 

Stath Lets Flats is like that, because we’re all genuine mates. When people take comedy so seriously I really love it. I love that attention to detail. Jamie [Demetriou] and everyone involved really cares. There’s no ‘that’ll do’ attitude, everyone wants it to be the best it can be. Why not treat comedy as a science that you have to absolutely get right?

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Ghosts series two starts on Monday the 21st of September on BBC One at 8.30pm. All six episodes will be available to stream on BBC iPlayer from then. 

Delicacy: A Memoir by Katy Wix, published by Headline, is available to pre-order now.

The post The Teleprompter Interview: Katy Wix ‘My First Screen Crush was King Kong’ appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/32GM7ya

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1, Chapter 13 (One Last Yeehaw)

• It's the chapter everyone's been waiting for! We're pregnant, we get to tell our spouses, we get to tell our friends, we get to tell the courtly ladies, Olivia wears leather, our MCs get to buy a crib for an poppy seed-sized something in their womb that doesn't even know what hands and legs are yet (forget cribs), and the best news of all...WE ARE FINALLLY LEAVING TEXAS!!!!

• If you don't want to see this post on your dash, these are the tags to block: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs and #long post.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Universal Studios 77 YouTube channel

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan and the HIMEME YouTube channel

Maxwell: @itsbrindleybinch

Title: Spreading the Word

Alternative Title: It's a Child, Not the Gospel 🤦🏽‍♀

• Before I start talking about the chapter...storytime!

• Sooo...my first pregnancy was a couple of years ago. And I like telling the story of how I broke it to my husband coz it is pretty damn funny. We'd been trying for two years, and had a couple of times when our tests would be met with a disappointing negative. So by the time I did get pregnant, the hubby was a little wary of hoping too soon.

• I had an inkling just before my periods were expected to arrive, because I found myself flopping down on the bed immediately after work, without even making dinner. No morning sickness, no giddiness initially, just constantly feeling so tired. Anyway, hubby insisted I wait a couple days more before a test because he was too afraid of getting his hopes up, and I agreed.

• I took my test around 4 or 5 that morning? And had to wait a couple minutes for the lines...and THERE WERE TWO. Do you really think I could keep such news to myself for more than ten seconds?? (even that was too much). Of course I was going to shake poor hubby awake and show him the test.

• It took five vigorous shakes to wake the poor guy up, and as soon as he was somewhat awake I shoved the test in his face (I was excited ok! 🙈) forgetting that without his glasses he couldn't see shit (very high power). "I can't see anything," he said sleepily, so I gave him his glasses. Ensuing conversation went as follows.

H: There are two lines.

Me: Yeah...sooooo...? 😀😀

H (sudden realization what two lines are supposed to mean): OMG there are two lines??? *sleepy smile*

Me: YES. I'M PREGNANT.

H (weakly): Yayyyy. (pause)...can I go back to sleep now?

Me: But what will I do???

H: You also sleep.

Me (running on sheer adrenaline now) : I CAN'T SLEEP I JUST FOUND OUT I'M PREGNANT.

H: Oooookay. (is too sleepy at this point to process anything).

Me: (excitedly hops over to Google at 5.20 in the morning and types out "I'm 4 weeks pregnant now what")

LMAO. That first pregnancy was quite something.

• The chapter begins with the MC sending her spouse a text. Depending on whether you mentioned a surprise, mentioned that you need to have a talk or texted emojis instead, the LI will react accordingly.

• With the surprise option, the LI flirts with her. With "we need to talk", they appear tense and believe she's angry with them. The emoji option is the funniest, coz the MC sends a string of emojis with the last one being this: 🍞, and the LIs are confused and referencing the bread (I've seen only two routes of this one - Liam talks about the Cordonian Baker's Festival which will only happen after a couple months, and Hana speaks about a bread course). The MC is puzzled at first, then gets to choose how to tell her spouse the news.

• AAAAAND NOW THEY KNOW.

Liam: Ecstatic and excited at the thought of holding his own child in his arms. Immediately after, he worries over the preparations they will need to make, the childproofing of the throne room and the things they will need to get ready, and it is the MC who calms him down.

I personally love that the narrative makes a mention of Liam "recentering himself" here, because it does show me that this is a rare display of raw emotion, of Liam letting go of his control, and you get a glimpse of what calming down for him looks like. Wish it hasn't taken four books to actually muster up the effort to write that.

Hana: One of the sweetest reactions ever - "We're going to be moms?" and a hearty squeal after that. She then becomes emotional and teary, cries with joy. There's some gentle teasing of each other where they call each other "cute", and then Hana tells her she's so glad she gets to share both this moment and this entire journey of pregnancy with the MC.

Hana doesn't show many signs of her intensive planning in this particular scene, because this - again - calls for raw emotion where the LI basically forgets their "normal" and truly savours that moment, but we do see signs of the same type of planning in other scenes.

Maxwell: WHOOPS with joy and excitement as soon as he realizes. Wants to scream out the news on a mountaintop. He promises the MC that their family will be the most awesome, most fun one that the kingdom has ever seen.

I love how Maxwell's overall vibe in this chapter seems to reflect his family situation - he definitely wants to be the exact opposite to his own child what his father has been to him. It's a pity they don't explore that enough.

Drake: Wild with joy, can't stop grinning. But also worried about whether he is being careless with the MC and is overly concerned for her. Calls her not just by her surname but also her first name. I wonder if that should be added to my Book 1 tallies 😂

• That TRR lullaby music is going to be played so much after this that we'll eventually get sick of it. I know it. I know it already.

• The LIs also get to check in with the MC about how she's feeling, and you as the reader get to decide how she is feeling at the moment (ecstatic, nervous, scared?). We also get the option to decide when to break the news to our friends (at the reception itself, or the next morning at breakfast). I think enough of us had an axe to grind with Savannah and Bertrand for the stunt they pulled (with our help) last book, that most people slammed that "reception" button like their lives depended on it.

• The LIs also act in different ways before their friends find out about the pregnancy:

Liam and Hana both dote on the MC, and Hana specifically keeps the MC's dietary restrictions in mind (gets sparkling water/orange juice in place of champagne/mimosas, asks about caffeine content/salmon during breakfast - this varies depending on when you make the announcement). With Drake, the group figures out that he has something on his mind because he's grinning nonstop, and Maxwell tries really really hard to hint at the MC's pregnancy by using phrases like 'bun in the oven' and 'expecting', and gives up in frustration when no one catches on.

• There are three ways you can tell the news to the group - if you're at the reception, you can leave them to guess, get the LI to announce via loudspeaker or scream it out. If you're at home, the same three options except the second one is simply the LI delivering the news in a more low-key manner.

•

YOU'RE SUCH DORKS ISTG.

• Bertrand is happy for us but Savannah is surprisingly (to my great joy) nowhere to be found.

• CELEBRATORY DIAMOND SCENE. For 30 diamonds, which is usually reserved either for finales or turning-point diamond scenes. Again, these scenes deal with the newness of it all, the jubilation, the end of a (not very long, actually) wait, and the LIs get to talk about family.

•

The sex part is 🔥 🔥 🔥 as usual, but the parts that really justify the 30 diamonds we're spending come before and after that. Each LI, as I've mentioned before, responds differently, but the thread that connects them all is the awe and wonder at this new life, and their plans and worries for the future (Good. You all should be worried if Olivia's diamond scene is anything to go by).

- Liam: In the pre-sex portion, the focus is on celebrating this moment they have alone - as parents - together, because once this news is brought out to the world, both they and their child will be thrown into the spotlight. I have spoken in this essay about the kind of upbringing royal children tend to have and the lessons they unknowingly learn in that environment. Liam has gone through this, he is aware his child will go through it too, but he wants the child to have as normal a life as he as a father can provide. This is clear in the last portion of the scene, where he touches the MC's stomach, marvels at the life they both created and - as per the MC's choice - communicates with said child. My favourite option of course is the lullaby, because it's one that Eleanor used to sing to him - and it is interesting how a lot of Liam's memories of an actual parent, doing actual parent-things, is of his mother.

- Hana: In the pre-sex portion, she speaks about how nervous they've both been over whether this pregnancy would happen and the pressure from the court, and how excited she is that that moment is finally here. When the MC asks her if she is nervous or scared, Hana tells her that even though everything that has led up to this (leaving her parents, having a new life in Cordonia) has been unknown and scary, knowing that they will finally have their own family outweighs "all the worries in the world". In the last portion of the scene, they flirt playfully, leading Hana at some point to wonder about whether they should set ground rules if the child is going to be such a charmer. She's already got a whole range of things prepared - from a pregnancy kit to snacks and drinks appropriate for the MC's condition - but the MC encourages her to relax and not worry too much. You can tell that Hana is already in the zone of wanting to be a better parent for her child than her own.

- Maxwell: I find the Maxwell version of this scene really interesting this time, because it deals with both his struggle to change for his child, and his struggle to NOT be the kind of father Bartie Sr was (finally they address this!). The first part of the scene involves Maxwell being his usual excitable self, wanting to scream the news from the rooftops then realising that it might be too risky for his wife. He speaks of wanting to "rewire" himself into "Good Dad mode". The last portion is especially poignant, because he speaks both of what a life without the MC would have been life (an enjoyable Beaumont Bash, but one where he is forever searching for someone, and feeling constantly lonely, like something is missing in his life), and he also promises his wife that he will be the kind of father who will learn and grow from his mistakes, and who will be there whenever his children need him most, not just drop by on the day of their child's wedding.

- Drake: Drake also falls back into old-habit before getting into father-mode - he mentions celebrating with drinks before realizing the MC cannot have them. The MC gets to choose either a non alcoholic beverage or a massage, and as far as I have seen the massage comes with yet another family story about his father massaging a particular spot in his mother's shoulder that would easily tense up. It astounds me how much effort the writers make into making Drake's scenes and exchanges so much more personal than the others. Like the others have their moments in this scene too - but in their cases such moments are the exception, not the norm. In Drake's it's always the norm.

In the aftermath of the scene, the couple get to discuss how they will bring up their child, even though that child will be heir to Cordonia's throne, and get to choose if they want to bring that child up with a sense of normality, or to appreciate the benefits they get from the royal life. In the end, all Drake wants this child to know at the moment is how much their parents love them.

• We now have brunch, hosted by the newlyweds. If we have not yet announced our pregnancy, Bertrand will simply announce us the way a herald would at a royal event before Savannah teases him for doing so, and if we have, he mentions that we are "celebrating the happy news with them once more". Bertrand speaks of being overly formal when he's very happy, and is even happier to mention the word "wife". That'll last.

• Leona gives Bertrand a cup of bourbon as a reward for the way he stood up to Chuck, claiming that she thought of him as a "pretty boy" who knew nothing, but was impressed by his behaviour on the wedding day. At this point I can only roll my eyes and finally celebrate when Auntie Bitch disappears. We've wasted way too much time than necessary on Drake's shitty family.

• If you haven't announced the news, you announce it after this scene. There are a few slight changes, esp the drinks mentioned in certain cases because the brunch is a more relaxed atmosphere than the reception so the food and drink items mentioned are pretty low-key. But everything else is pretty much as is.

• Bertrand and Savannah have a honeymoon to plan, which means we will finally get a break from them too, and Bianca asks us what we're planning in order to celebrate the news. Maxwell suggests getting a gift for the new arrival (9 months before arriving), and Savannah suggests they go to the general store and get something from there. The MC is nervous, because she wasn't exactly planning to meet Cassidy West again. Thankfully, he isn't at the store, so she's pretty safe 😂

•

All the LIs have items they will check out with their friends/wives, but the scene varies related to who the MC married. Minimally in most cases, quite a bit in just one. As usual.

Maxwell shows us baby socks, and realizes that this child is a "miniature human" who will have small-sized everything. Virtually nothing changes in this scene except for Maxwell calling the child "our baby" instead of "yours" in his own playthrough. Everything else is disappointingly identical.

Hana shows us a toy tea set (it's still early days but Hana tells the MC it will be fun to practice and to think of the treats the child can eat from that). If you are married to her, she gets a single line referencing the childhood scene where she waited in vain for her mother at her own tea party.

Liam's scene is the one wit the diamond option - as the King of Cordonia whose entire country's future rides on this child, he is the one who gets to show the MC (+ LI in their respective playthroughs) the crib. There are two variations in this scene - the ones where Liam speaks about "our heir". Other than that, very little difference (though he does mention Constantine in one line later, so I guess that's a plus).

Drake shows the MC a wooden rocking horse. In his friend playthrough, he speaks of the gift as something the child can have to remember "ol' Uncle Drake" by. But if you're married to him, there is a whole set of dialogues where Drake talks of riding horses being part of the Walker DNA, and there is a reference to the secret wedding (riding off into the sunset), and there is interactive banter between the MC and Drake that you don't see much of in the other playthroughs. I wish I could say I'm surprised.

• I mean...seriously??? Maxwell gets NO OTHER VARIATIONS??? Hana's mention of her mother never coming to her tea parties isn't even followed up by a line expressing comfort from the MC????

• Just as we got there options for our nursery decor, we also get three options for the crib (classic, royal, forest fairytale). The royal option is lavish, all gold and cream, and the fairytale option is whimsical, wood finish and the same patterns of forest animals and flowers and leaves as the walls. The classic option is, like its corresponding decor, "very neutral. very baby".

• We exit the shop as quickly as we can either because Maxwell broke a trampoline (in the Liam, Hana and Drake playthroughs), or Hana dropped some teacups (in Maxwell's playthrough).

• Once we're done shopping, we get a call from Olivia, who is at our estate in Valtoria, asking us for the most precious thing in our room. But before she can ask, we tell her we're either furniture shopping or pregnant. The option the writers want us to be choosing is "pregnant", because there's a scene where Olivia secretly happy-cries for us when she learns the news. We can agree to loan her either some fancy shoes, our engagement ring (in the Maxwell playthrough, apparently, there is a reference to the twig ring he made back at the beginning of Book 3) or the Cordonian Royal Sceptre. She isn't sure if she'll come back alive, so she thanks us in case she doesn't.

• The ensuing Olivia diamond scene comes with a chance to figure out what Olivia is upto, an advantage over Auvernal, and a tiny hint at a Nevrakis name for TRM.

• I must say, the writers never cease to go all out for Olivia. Even over the female LI that should have been treated like a co-protagonist. And it's tiring because yet again I'll have to see half the fandom drag Hana just so they can drool over the white girl (in fact I already have).

• Olivia's sprite on the left side of the screen...is going to take some getting used to. It's disorienting. But it's fine after a second one!

• Anyway. She is now at a casino in Monte Carlo, meeting up with Bradshaw and Isabella. She's clearly in super-spy mode, since she refers to the King and Queen of Auvernal as targets rather than their names or titles. She has a better edge over the two if she is honest about her intentions and doesn't pretend she just bumped into them.

• Bradshaw speaks about King Liam sending his 'attack dog' to them and 'not doing his own dirty work' which is hilarious considering this man is from a militaristic society yet doesn't even know the C of combat training and has never done anything besides strategizing.

• Isabella always delivers her stinky, unwarrented opinion as if it holds any weight or has any relevance. In Olivia's case, she mentions Anton's marriage contract with Olivia and wonders aloud how the Queen/Duchess still trusts her enough to allow Olivia in her inner circle after that. All three options to push back at Izzy are 🔥 but my favourite one is "you look like you know all about poor judgement" (which is true, look at who she married).

• Olivia then gambles with Bradfraud and Stinkybella, with whatever the MC chose to give her as stakes. The best option is to simply call Bardfraud on his bluff, because he folds easily. Depending on whether Olivia wins or loses the game, he either asks the guards to place the item in the penthouse, or to get more funds from there. Olivia takes note.

• She then has to make sure she nicks the key to the penthouse from Stinkybella, either by acting tipsy or by coming closer to her for an "awkward hug". Both do the job.

• She learns the following from the penthouse:

- Bradfraud and Stinkybella stay in separate rooms, which means things "aren't as rosy" between them.

- She finds a letter of rejection, doubtless from another royal couple, and this is an indication that they aren't as popular as they pretend to be.

- She finds a map of a land she doesn't recognize (is it Monterisso? Olivia would recognize a map of her own country...and neighboring countries...but who am I fooling it's not like team TRH concerns themselves with such ridiculous things as logic!), which has troop formations on it. They're planning something called Operation Swan. I've heard of "Black Swans" and "Swanning About" used as military terms, but there's not a lot I understand from this. Perhaps this leans more towards a "black swan" idea - where they will launch a surprise attack with a nation they are allying with? IDK.

- Basically, we have enough leverage to win against these two, thanks to Olivia's work.

• In any case, someone comes to the room, and Olivia is on the verge of getting caught. So she'll need to scale her way down.

• This shows us if you have Olivia pray to her ancestors for wings:

(Theodosia is clearly the Renaissance Nevrakis)

• If you don't choose to scale down, Olivia will land on the pool instead, but even then she makes it out okay. She decides to keep an eye out because Bradfraud and Stinkybella could pose as a problem for Liam and the MC.

• Olivia is operating on her own, as far as she has told Bradfraud, but the possibility that Liam is aware of what she is upto still exists. And the MC has no clue even if she is Liam's wife because:

a. The writers are too lazy to code this for Liam, and

b. It's not like the MC puts any effort into finding things out anyway

• We're now leaving the Walker Ranch, a couple hours later, and saying our goodbyes to Drake's mother and aunt. I heave a sigh of relief at the fact that there's no additional "memories" from Bianca become this family has gobbled up enough of our attention. Seems like their horrible attitude was really about the money they didn't get after all (it's a fair gripe to have, but doesn't exactly warrant the attitude they've been throwing around).

• Leona still acts like she did us a huge fucking favour hosting us, even though she was an awful host and seriously deserves to lose her ranch. Bianca tries to be civil but no apologies from her for allowing her son in law to be treated like crap until his wedding day. Seems like all Walkers have a habit of expecting civility from others while giving none.

• Bianca asks us to keep in touch and I'm pretty sure a huge chunk of the fandom said "no way in Yeehaw Hell".

• Liam continues to be mysterious with regards to what Olivia is up to, and Esther - who I HC'd as inquisitive - seems not to care enough to ask more.

• The LI tells us, as we leave, that Kiara, Penelope and Madeleine will be traveling in the jet with us, and it's up to us to decide how we break the news to them. If you own corgis, that features as an option. Two of the options (writing on a cake and announcement by corgi) come with a simple "Coming Soon...The Royal Heir", but the charade one is my favourite 🤭

• Penelope is that particular Drake/Walker Ranch stan who loved the time we spent at the ranch and Kiara is the rest of the fandom, who would much rather be in Cordonia than cooling her heels in Texas.

•

AAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The MC then tries another charade, one that resembles cradling a baby in her arms, which Kiara takes to mean "American football" (thank God they don't force Cordonians to call it "soccer" anymore), Madeleine takes to mean "a common pirate jig" and Penelope somehow gets the guess right (though Kiara is the one who straight-out says it).

• The ladies are ecstatic, and congratulate us. Penelope calls for drinks, but Kiara has the common sense to add that the drinks should be alcohol-free. Madeleine informs us of the events lined up for us, including the Apple Ball which will doubtless be the ball we will be attending in the finale.

•

There's a small private moment where the LIs dote over the MC more than necessary, wanting to pamper her and keep her in comfort. The MC calms them down, convinces them that they have a very good support system/are a great team together who can achieve anything.

• Mara still finds out about the pregnancy via Maxwell scouring the online shops for corgi-themed onesies even when he is the father. Which makes sense. It's still Good Dad Mode 😁

• In the tiny space of time it took between Madeleine finding out we were pregnant and us talking to people, she managed to schedule a conference for the same day! At least let us confirm the pregnancy with our docs???

• Plus, announcing this early, even if you're not royalty, is pretty risky. You're mostly advised to not disclose it too soon because the first trimester can be a little risky. And there are also cases where your first ultrasound turns out to not be that happy moment where you see that yolk sac and hear its heartbeat, or an ectopic pregnancy 😔. I recall reading about it on pregnancy forums before my first ultrasound (and stressing, but I had to be prepared) and not being satisfied until I confirmed it for myself.

• The writers and the readers know she'll be pregnant because that is what the story is, but perhaps if the team hadn't wasted so much time on the Walker Ranch, they'd at least not have to hurry like this.

• Actually...no. "Hurrying" would be the wrong word. Because they're going to stretch the press conference itself to like two chapters, it seems like. Basically they will spend time on everything that isn't important to the story as long as it's important to their pet character.

• The summary of Chapter 15 (CHAPTER FUCKING FIFTEEN. We're stuck at the beginning of all this even by CHAPTER FIFTEEN) speaks of the press conference heating up, so I'm having an inkling that there will be some pretty heavy stuff being asked in between? Maybe with regards to alliances, or a new scandal, or something else. But it's not going to be easy at all, that much is pretty clear. It's going to be frustrating and there's going to be stuff that will anger the LIs I think. I could be wrong, though.

• Overall this chapter does better in terms of variations even though they still do beef up Drake quite a bit over the others. But at least Liam, Hana and Maxwell get the rare opportunity to briefly address the mistakes (too small a word for what they've done) their parents have made. It's still not enough though. Esp considering the last 9 chapters have seen such an overall of Walker history and Drake's memories and the others have barely a handful of chapters to catch up.

• Sometimes I wonder if Olivia's independent investigation is also fueled by her desire to be so different from her parents and aunt as to wipe out the memory of their betrayal through her deeds. I do wonder if she will burn herself out completely in the process. She is made of sterner stuff than that, I know, but the determination she was showing in this scene and in the last few chapters was on another level.

• I wonder if we will get intel on Monterisso as well (I don't fully trust Amalas yet), or whether the narrative plans to establish this country as the underdog we will be supporting. Who knows. But I'm sure we will see more of that country in further chapters as well.

• That's it for this chapter, I think. Until the next one!

[soranihimawari]

No risk, No reward...

taglist: @kaidasen

Side note: I couldn’t format my texts in time since I use google docs for everything, so please be patient with the formatting of my long af text posts. I had a lot of fun writing this drabble. Tbh, I wasn’t sure how long I was going to make this story, but just know that I’ll have to queue up some parts. Thanks for reading! ::insert quarantine air five here::

next >>

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ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟙: 

13:07 

      to: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ 

     Frm: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

     I got a favor to ask you.

15:49

     to: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

     Frm: ಥ⌣ಥ miserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

Sorry, i was busy with putting away the archery equipment                             earlier,   so i just saw this. >.< i’m the worst senpai. T^T Is this about tutoring Bo-kun, right? 

17:45

     to: ಥ⌣ಥmiserablerage_muda ಥ⌣ಥ

     Frm: ┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘blessed_setter keiji┌( ಠ_ಠ)┘

You’re not the worst senpai. We’ve been friends for five y e a r s. We just wrapped up practice too, could you please meet us on campus? Give me a few minutes. Bokuto-san is about to enter his dejected mode again. 

                                                       ***

I glanced down at my phone and sighed. Of course Akasshi would text me this late in the afternoon especially when it comes to taking care of Bo-kun, I shook my head at the negative thoughts that were fogging up my tired brain.

“Doesn’t anyone on the Fukurodani Volleyball Club know that I have my own schedule to keep?” I mumbled to myself. My face was warm and sticky with sweat from archery practice. I was kind of in my own dejected mode too after I received news from the student council the Archery Club was going to be dissolved. I was the only active member now and when I pleaded in  my case for it to be saved, the treasurer scoffed. I wore my midnight blue archery jacket (the logo of the bubo blakistoni’s quill were embroidered on the front and the kanji on the back read: FUKURODANI ARCHER CAPTAIN): 

“There’s no reason to have an Archery Club when it only has one member here,” the secretary said. My hazel eyes darted around the room and it seemed like that vote was unanimous before I even stepped into their approved space.

“Our Volleyball Club has actually put Fukurodani Academy on the map. We’re a powerhouse school because of how strong our team is,” the vice president reminded me; she folded her arms over her chest when she leaned in. I couldn’t state my case since I knew she was right, so instead, I thought of the best solution for the student council.

“V. President-san, may I have one request before you hand the club sponsor the termination form?” I inquired. 

“What is it Muda-senpai?” although she was a second year, she did add the honorific as a sign of respect. I might not like what this meeting was about, but what I do understand is that my club had consistently seen a decline of interest over the last six years at Fukurodani. 

“There is a tournament next month,” I placed my hands in my jacket pocket. “Please let me use the equipment for solo-practice until the day after the tournament.”

The vice-president of the student council drew in a breath and when she exhaled, she nodded in approval. She wrote on the school’s official document and placed her signature stamp on the bottom of the form. 

“The president of student council is absent today due to hay fever, but I will personally let him know of the situation. I’m really sorry about the formalities of this meeting Muda-senpai,” her voice was sincere this time.

“It’s quite alright and thank you. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” my voice sounded polite, but the student council members who knew me from last year saw my lips pressed flatly into a scowl. I bowed and departed for the closest women’s restroom where I locked myself in the first stall and began to let frustrated tears run down my face for a few minutes before I patted my cheeks dry at the sink. I gazed at my reflection (my hair was a bit frazzled due to the rain this morning), yet the thought of clearing out the photos of our team through the years were what really got me down. I worked so hard to be in a club for a sport I am the most passionate about, which required the most patience to learn (and teach in physical education starting in junior high) was being taken away from me in my third year of high school by the volleyball club.  

Akaashi, Bokuto, and I have been friends throughout junior high and as luck would have it after much deliberation and late night jungle gym talks, we decided to take the entrance exams for Fukurodani Academy. I’ll never understand why those two friends of mine chose the volleyball club over the archery club, but over the course of the last three years I was able to witness the rise of one of the top five aces in Japan. 

Maybe it was my own selfishness being the only female student they would listen to, or perhaps it was the fact that I defended their honor from insulting rumours about who they were dating or crushing on in our adolescent years, but we were inseparable. Only until recently, I noticed that other members of their team would approach me when I had a tournament (mostly it was Kaori and Yukie wishing me luck after classes were done for the day). 

The two owls I had befriended in junior high were high caliber players for the volleyball club. I never really paid attention when both of them grew into their features quite nicely; as Akaashi grew taller, Bokuto and I began to have height competitions. There were days in the fall where I’d forget my gloves because both of them would hold my hands like I was gonna lose them in my own neighborhood. I never really understood why Akaashi was always in charge of buying me a birthday gift and Bokuto was in charge of purchasing the card until I heard them planning what to get me earlier this past October:

“Akaashi! Muda already has this charm for her bracelet, right?” Bokuto asked. He seemed a little deflated that day due to the fact that all his ideas were being put in the “maybe we’ll see” list of ideas.

“You know, you could just ask me, right?” I said when I snuck up behind them. Akaashi laughed when Bokuto yelped as he jumped back in surprise. “And yes, I do have that owl charm. You gave it to me last year. You could always buy me more Jun Ito mangas.”

When the school day was over, I immediately walked home to begin my nightly review for the calculus exam planned for Tuesday morning. Mathematics and chemistry were my strongest subjects; modern literature and poetry were my free period classes, but my grades were high enough to secure a passing grade; and finally American English was my weakest subject. I was barely passing it at the start of the second semester, but for some reason, Bokuto was actually proficient in American English. Akaashi was always hovering over my workbook when we would study in the campus library and noticing my grammatical errors. 

One day before fall break, I told Akaashi that I wanted a recording of Bokuto talking in English to one of the reporters when his name gained traction for being one of the Top 5 Aces in Volleyball Monthly. 

“You hear him talk all the time,” Akaashi said. We were having lunch together outside on the covered terrace. He stuck a straw on the top of his milk box while watching me eat my mother’s homemade salmon onigiri.

“Maybe hearing Bo-kun speak English might help me pass this class,” I said in between bites. “I’ll even throw in some maths group study. Our boy is this close to failing trig and then he can’t play volleyball. I’m not babysitting him this time, Keiji.”

“You’re fingers are actually touching this time,” Akaashi said when he noticed my hand gesture. He handed me a juice box when he realized I was trying to laugh. I poked the top of the box with the spear like straw and began to take a few sips.

“I’ll text you after practice,” he said as soon as he stood up. “It might just be Bokuto though since I don’t know what our coach’s strategy is for the upcoming tournaments.”

“Mmkay. I’ll be at home today. I told the archery coach I was going to be doing some solo practice in lieu of the free gym being under reconstruction.”

Akaashi nodded and left back to his classroom.

[wrongeddeadthenevermourned]

Abominations Don’t Have Friends.

He could see the brown of the wood floor, followed by another fade to black before just as quickly the vision of the wooden floor of his family home had returned, it almost seemed as if it were a painting, more than the familiar wood floor he had grown to know. Like it had been smeared on, blurry, rather than clear or real. Again, his vision faded to black. All he could hear for a the longest time was the ringing in his ears, but beneath that, there was whispering. Someone, no, not someone. His parents? Josette? All three? He could hear them talking toward one another. Josette had sounded a bit whiny. The side of his head that had been against the wooden floor had felt odd, a dull sting pulsing out over it...there was a strange, wet warmth stretching around the side of his face. Then his mind faded back to black, everything he could see following the same. But again he was pulled back to reality as the whispering continued, another woman's voice, outside of Josette's, asked if someone was dead. Twitching, as if on cue, Kai attempted to move.

Pushing his right hand out he focused on just moving. Picking his head up from off the floor just an inch or so before dropping back down. Joshua spoke then, telling the other two voice that whoever they were talking about was breathing. Closing his eyes again,  the darkness remained longer, this time. But he could still hear the voices, Joshua's had almost seemed disappointed by the fact that whoever they were talking about was still alive. Kai could have grinned, knowing they were talking about him, then. Then nothing but darkness and silence followed. Maybe for the longest time, though if he thought back some time later he could have sworn he remembered a visit to the hospital. His left arm being wrapped up since it had been broken. The side of his head being stitched since it had been split open. It all had come to him in a blurred, slowly falling apart memory. By the time he was able to keep himself stable enough to be present instead of fading into the background of his own head, Kai was watching something on tv. Joey had been chatting away to him.

It had appeared, to him at least, that he had been being given something for his head. Blinking, he looked toward the cartoon that was currently on tv, watching ThunderCat's. Blinking as Mumm-Ra was talking, he stares at the villain's insignia. It was Cobra's. At least he had thought so. Either way, it had reminded him of another favorite of his, The Karate Kid. Blinking, Kai swallowed, before turning his head and looking toward his brother who was still chatting before noticing then that Kai was staring at him and a small 'oh', left him before he shut up again. Kai watched till the episode had ended before standing and moving to leave the room. At least he was able to watch the rest of it without his younger brothers mindless chattering. Entering the kitchen he moved toward the fridge. Opening it he looked around for something to drink, soon taking out a soda, though paused and quickly put it back quickly. He wasn't feeling in the mood to drink soda. Moving then he went to where his father had kept the alcohol, then.

The then fourteen year old proceed to make himself an Adios Motherfucker, which had been the color of one of his favorite colors. As he finished making that drink he scrunched his nose. He hadn't been very interested in drinking such things, before. But he had suddenly just gotten a craving it seemed. Taking another drink he smacked his lips before nodding, he liked it, he supposed. Still, most of him didn't care about it but why should he have waited to drink when he was destined to die at twenty two. He knew that, he had to accept that. But mostly he knew he should enjoy life while he still had one of his own. Pulling away then he carried the drink back into the kitchen and started taking out things for him to make for a meal, so he could eat. Taking out some salmon he de-thawed it in the warm water he had filled the sink with. Using one arm made things a bit slower for him but he was still determined to get something to eat. Kai had no interest in waiting for his mother, or anyone else to make something. Nor did he wish to make anything for anyone else.

When his water began to boil he poured some noodles into it. Letting those soften, Kai moved to take his salmon out and cut off one end before slipping the salmon out of the packet. Leaving the salmon out on the plastic he moved to look for a knife. Searching for one he needed before hearing Joey ask if he was making them food "You want something to eat, Joey? Hm?" Kai then asked, grinning at his little brother as he opened up another drawer and reached into it. Joey nodded, smiling cutely at him before saying that yes, he was hungry and didn't know when anyone else would be returning home " So it's just been me and you, huh?" Joey shook his head saying that their other three siblings were just off playing outside "Oh. Huh." Kai looked back toward the drawer and took out a knife, pointing it toward his little brother "And so they just left you here, huh. With me, t-t-t." Kai shook his head, seeing his brother flinch back then, as Kai have moved closer to the young boy. Joey then said that their mother asked for Joey to keep an eye on Kai.

Kai blinked " Is that right, you, little Joey, going to keep an eye on me?" Kai glared a bit toward the younger boy who had smile and nodded, saying he was being very responsible, but frowned suddenly realizing that he had forgotten something. Then asked Kai if his head had still been hurting, because they had pain killers for him. Kai pointed the knife into Joey's face then, the tip soon sliding along the other boys flesh " Why don't you take those pills, Joey." The teen muttered before turning away then, realizing he had scared the other a little more than he wanted to...he...didn't want to. Did he?  Blinking, he went back to his salmon and Joey turned, running away from him. Gulping, Kai swallowed down the thick feeling in his throat, forcing himself to become numb to it. A good way to get over it, he had found was to focus on chopping up the salmon for his meal.  Some time later his dinner was finished. Setting it at the empty dinner table, in his usual spot he moved to take his eat, sticking a fork in the bowl of smoked salmon carbonara with lemon and dill.

As he was enjoying this delicious meal, of which he was kind of proud of having made, all by himself, and having it turn out so good, his parents returned home. He could hear his mother asking where he was, and Joey replying that he was in the kitchen making something. Kai glanced over a moment later when she had turned the corner, eying him suspiciously as she slowly entered with Joshua closely behind " Hi, Mom, Dad-" Kai greeted as he lifted his drink up and sipped from it. Joshua narrowed his gaze on his eldest son before asking if he got into his drinks "Yeah. I figured, why wait, you know. Because, I'll be dead in a handful or so of years." Joshua walked over before being stopped by his wife, who had smiled toward her son and asked if he had made dinner for the rest of the family. Kai blinked, looking confused at them " What family?" He then dared to ask them before going back to eating and ignoring them. Joshua had almost lost his temper with Kai completely before his wife had told him to calm down and suggested that Kai was probably still having problems since falling over the banister on the second floor stairwell.

Looking toward them then, he narrowed his eyes "Yeah. I fell, no one pushed me." Kai then muttered before slurping up some more noodles. Joshua walked in closer to the younger Parker and set some stuff on the table before commenting that that's what had happened. Reminding Kai of how clumsy the other was, even going so far as to remind him of his 'accidents' he would have as a boy " You mean the times you beat me for touching Jo, or one of you? Hm? Those times I was clumsy?" Kai asked before Joshua slammed a hand to the kitchen table and warned Kai, under his breath, very sternly that he was treading a line he should not cross. Kai blinked, then looked away " Sorry. I- You're right. I am still feeling a bit off." Kai glanced away then, the emboldened mood he had been feeling that evening melting away under Joshua's tone. Joshua then told him to take his dinner and go to his room. As Kai was going to do that he reached out to take his drink before Joshua pulled it away and told him no. Glaring for a moment, Kai and Joshua stare each other down before Kai relents and grabbed up his plate.

Once in his room he lightly complained about how he had to get over being worried about what Joshua would do to him if he stepped too far out of line. But he already knew what Joshua was capable of, having already experienced most of it first hand several times in his life by that point. But he had also, briefly anyway, recognized the mood swing. The anger that he had once been able to keep at bay was breaching the dam he had formed in his head, crashing over the sides, cracking it under it's weight. Though he could not remember why he had fallen from that banister, he had known that because of that fall, something had changed. His mind was somehow different, or at least more willing to let that anger through. Clearing his throat he placed the bowl on the bedside table and moved to sit on his bed. Realizing even more that he didn't care about the dam breaking, but what had really bothered him was pointing that knife at Joey. On some level he had recognized a small desire to hurt the other. However, he had resisted, then. Of course Joey would also tell his parents about it.

That is in fact what Joey had done, unaware of the consequences of this action that would come later on. Over the next couple of months Joshua had set up appointments for Kai to be evaluated. Several indicators were found for several things. Joshua seemed to have felt validated by this discovery as well as had taken it upon himself to see to it that with whatever Kai had been diagnosed with and the medications that they had decided on having him take was going to be enforced by the older Parker. Each day, at the designated times Joshua would barge in on Kai, no matter what he was doing, and make him take his medication. One day, Kai had brought some friends from the local school over, it was because they had needed to work on a project. Pointing into the living room, he grinned as one boy asked about his family " Oh. Uhm. They are busy. I think. So they won't be bothering us." Moving on then, he sighed a little bit, wishing that the other two had more room in their own homes so that he didn't have to bring them back to his house.

As one boy asked if his family was really that weird he paused, considering his answer "Nah. They aren't all that weird. They are...Just, very private." Kai defended lightly as he walked into his room " And this is my room-" Moving toward one side he pat a hand against the desk that was there " I'll keep our project right here." He informed, just liking feeling normal for the moment. He had always enjoyed staying as far away from his family home as he possibly could, simply because it had felt right, when he was around other people. They weren't afraid to touch him. Or simply be nice to him, he had liked that quite a lot, he found, just being treated like a person who mattered. Instead of an abomination. It didn't completely numb his burning need to have magic. But it filled an entirely different need he had entirely just to be wanted, to be liked. Even if by others he went to school with. He was pretty well liked in school, most kids finding him to be silly. The three boys had started work on the school project then. Kai had struggled a bit, having a broken arm. One of the boys pat his shoulder then telling him he could take it easy.

Kai looked over toward the other boy and nodded "Ah hah. Yeah, sorry, just wanted to be of help." Then he moved back a bit letting the other two do a lot of the heavier or more active lifting. Then one of the boy's had asked how his arm broke " Oh, you know how it is. Rough housing I guess." Just then the other boy had brought up the stitching and asked if that was also caused by the same thing "Mhmm." His eyebrows furrowing then, he started to remember something from that day, Josette yelling at him and shoving him back, yelling about how he was terrible before ripping a Nerf gun out of his hands and throwing it away. Taking a moment to then look at her self in the mirror before whining about him giving her a black eye. Kai blinked, his memory of that moment starting to die out as he remembered himself saying something along the lines of 'A black eye is the least of your problem because you are just plain ol' ugly'. Though he never got to finish saying that, and everything had gone black. Coming back to the current moment one of the boys frowned and asked if he were alright " Ah- Yeah. Fine. Just remembering something from a while back." Kai cleared his throat then and moved to help the two with their school project.

Around dinner time is when Joshua had come back home. Making his way up to Kai's room the other opened the bedroom door before asking Kai who had given him permission to have guests over " No one. Their places were too small." Joshua narrowed his eyes, but seemed to accept it. Moving in then he looked at the project before then looking toward Kai and asking if he had taken his pills that afternoon. Which Kai looked a bit shocked about, looking toward his friends before looking toward Joshua "No. I forgot." Kai had informed Joshua crossed his arms over his chest and then told Kai to take his pills, now, rather than later. Standing up then he moved toward the door before turning back toward his friends "Sorry about that, I'll be back, just wait right there." Leaving with Joshua, soon he was finishing taking his medication in front of the other before going back to his room. He could hear the two boys whispering then, about how one of their aunts was 'crazy' and also had to take pills. Frowning then Kai sighed before entering the room as the pair started talking about leaving. Seeing Kai they smiled at him. Before then saying it was late and that they probably needed to get back home.

Nodding then, Kai watched them as they started to head for the door "Alright. I'll keep this here-" He pointed toward the desk then "And we can work on it again tomorrow." The two nodded and told him goodbye before leaving. A few moments later, Joshua came back into the room and started to tease Kai about the fact that those boys would not be coming back " You don't know them." Kai muttered before the older Parker nodded and then glanced away, mentioning he knew what children were like. Once you were outed as the freak you were, they would turn on you. Kai swallowed "But you're the freaks?" As Joshua stepped into the room, Kai watched his father, shrinking a bit as the older man approached him, leaning down and getting his face in Kai's before grabbing the other's jaw with his right hand, forcing Kai to look at him and reminding his young son that he was, in fact, an abomination. No one would ever truly be his friend. Staring at Joshua, Kai blinked, a bit hurt. He then jerked his head away from his fathers grip, looking away as he thought about it. Joshua smiled down at his son, knowing that Kai might have thought that about himself, as well. Then he turned and left the room, leaving Kai to think about how worthless or unwanted he was.

[raywritesthings]

Dear Friend, 1/?

My Writing Fandom: Arrow Characters: Laurel Lance, Oliver Queen, Felicity Smoak, Joanna de la Vega Pairing: Laurel Lance/Oliver Queen Summary: When Felicity decides to get serious about Ray, she knows it won’t be a good idea for Oliver to be hanging around. So she turns to the world of online dating to keep him distracted. Unknown to the both of them, over the summer Joanna had set Laurel up with an online dating account in the hopes that her friend could move on from past failed relationships. There’s only one way this can end. *Can also be read on my AO3*

Not for the first time, Felicity wondered what she was going to do about Oliver.

After what had seemed an age, he had finally asked her out and they were going to give things a shot — only for him to back out thanks to a bomb going off in the restaurant. Definitely not her usual fantasy ending.

She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t been hurt. He’d tried to tell her it wasn’t due to a lack of feelings on his part, but Felicity wasn’t really interested in what his excuse was. If he really loved her, he would want to be with her no matter what. She’d waited too long to settle for anything less.

And then things had changed.

Put off as she’d been by her new day job boss at first, Ray Palmer had quickly grown on her. Lifting her out of the secretarial pool had been a small mercy, for one thing. She would have rather stayed in her retail job than go back to that. And he was open with her about his past and the things he struggled with, more open than Oliver had been in three years. She felt like he saw her and as more than just a last resort.

Ray was...something. A something she sort of wanted to see what it might become. But that was never going to happen with Oliver and the specter of their nonstarter relationship hanging over her. She only had to look back two years to see how he’d single-handedly dismantled Laurel’s chances with Tommy to see where that would go.

Things would be best if Oliver’s attentions were directed elsewhere, that much was clear. But she doubted she could convince him to start a relationship with someone who didn’t even know his secrets if he wasn’t willing to date her and be the Arrow at the same time.

If she could just give him the illusion of pursuit to distract himself with, that might just be enough. He wasn’t any good at hanging onto relationships anyway, so it’d probably be more fun for him to not actually be in one, merely testing the waters of one — or perhaps several, if that was what it took.

Her chances of getting him to try speed-dating were slim to none, at least not in person. But there was a much more convenient alternative she thought far more likely.

“Technology saves the day again,” Felicity thought to herself. Now how to put this in a way he might actually be willing to consider.

She puzzled over that for the rest of the workday and on her drive to the Verdant. When she arrived, she found herself in luck; Oliver was the only one occupying the Cave. The salmon ladder, too. She was really lucky today.

As tended to happen, Felicity’s careful planning came out in a single blurt. “So, I was thinking about your problem.”

Oliver paused on the rung he was currently hanging from and looked down. “My problem?”

“Your dating problem.”

He grimaced and dropped down onto the mat. “Felicity—”

“I know, I’m the last person you want to talk to about this. But let us consider why we are in this situation in the first place.”

Oliver said nothing, but he wasn’t running away either. Not that he had anywhere to run when this was both his base and home. Felicity took this as a sign to continue.

“You don’t feel you can be close to another person while being the Arrow. But you would also like a relationship. So I thought of a way to achieve both of those things.” She reached over to the table where Oliver had placed his phone along with his water and wallet.

“What are you doing?” He was more puzzled than angry-sounding, and he made no move to stop her as she entered his password and went to the app store.

“I am downloading an online dating app and creating an account for you.”

“Online dating?” He echoed, incredulous. Oliver made a grab for the phone, but she pulled it in towards her chest, still typing away. Felicity knew he’d never force it out of her hands even though he could. “I don’t want that.”

“But you need it. You don’t stay single long, Oliver, and there is a long line of ex-girlfriends who can attest to that.”

He didn’t have an argument to deny that, and they both knew it.

Eventually he said, “I don’t think online dating is the best way for someone like me to date, Felicity. I have a reputation that would be hard for a stranger to see past.”

“That’s why it’s anonymous.”

“Anonymous?”

She nodded. “You get a username and a little bio description, and then you match with another person based off the answers you gave to various preference questions. Then after you have a certain number of conversations, you can choose to share your picture or name or whatever.”

“What if you don’t want to?”

“Then don’t,” she said with a shrug. She had to suppress a smile as well, as that was ultimately the goal here: keep Oliver busy with possible romances for as long as possible. She could never see him settling down with one, at any rate.

“So, your username. Any ideas?”

Oliver was silent. Still a reluctant participant, then.

“Hm. Well, what about…” Felicity snapped her fingers. “King of Survival. Get it? Cause surviving is kind of your thing, and the king part is a play on your name. Can’t really use Queen. That would definitely be giving off the wrong vibe,” Felicity said, her smile fading when he didn't laugh. Not that she would’ve expected it. She typed it in and hit the box for the next page. “Anyway, now there’s just the bio and answering some basic questions about preferences.”

She began typing out what she felt to be a fair and accurate description without getting into any incriminating detail. Oliver wandered over a little closer. He looked as though mentally he was starting and stopping several sentences.

“What sort of questions do they ask?”

“The basics. If you’re a neat freak or a slob, cats or dogs, favorite foods. You’re not big on sweets, right?”

“Actually, I — well, I don’t dislike them.”

Felicity looked up in surprise. She would never have guessed. “But you drink black coffee.”

“Sure, because it’s coffee. But I like, you know, ice cream. And Thea and I, every Christmas we used to — well, it doesn’t matter.”

Felicity was glad. She wasn’t particularly interested in Oliver’s Christmas traditions with his sister that had no doubt fallen by the wayside long ago. She held out the phone. “Maybe you should answer the questions.”

He took it and stared down at the screen. “There’s no chance you’re gonna let me just delete this thing, is there?”

“Nope.” Felicity reached out and touched his arm. “Just give it a try. For me?”

Oliver’s shoulders rose and fell with his sigh. “If that’s what you want.”

“It is,” she said scarcely before he’d finished. “Okay, so answer the questions, and then you should be all set up and start seeing other profiles.”

Oliver’s deep frown remained throughout as he hit the button for this or that answer. But John and then Roy soon entered the base, meaning she couldn’t really ask. Oliver was going to need privacy if she wanted him to actually try, and something told her John would say this wasn’t a good idea.

As the boys all left the Cave, however, she decided a little peek wouldn’t hurt. Just to make sure he’d finished setting up the profile. To her relief, he had, and slowly more and more matches were being brought up for him to look at.

“That’s one distracted Oliver and me in the clear,” Felicity muttered to herself, locking Oliver’s phone and setting it aside again.

So far so good.

—-

It wasn’t until the next morning that Oliver got around to looking at his phone again, much less the newly-added app. Part of him thought to just ignore it altogether, but the device had been periodically beeping with notifications. Probably as it found new supposed matches for him. This was ridiculous.

Oliver couldn’t even believe he’d agreed to this. What interest did he have in online dating? He wished he could be with Felicity, but it was just too much of a risk. Was this just her way of trying to prove a point to him? He already knew that the life he’d chosen could only be a solitary one.

But he supposed he owed it to her to give it a try. She’d gone ahead and put the app into his phone, anyway, so it was useless to argue whether or not it was happening. And it wasn’t as if he had anything else to do during the daytimes. Even he knew training for the entire day only to fight through most of the night was more of a detriment to his health in the long run than anything. And he’d promised Felicity.

Oliver opened the app and began scrolling down a list displaying accounts that had been selected according to his own preferences. They each had their own username and a short bio attached, and his eyes caught on one in particular.

JusticeIsAWoman

Career-driven. Closer to thirty than I’d like. Slow to get to know, but passionate about the people close to me. Really just looking for a friend.

That could work. At the least, it didn’t really sound like an actual relationship would result — which he didn’t want in the first place, but he didn’t want to hurt some anonymous person’s feelings over it.

He could tell Felicity he’d tried even if it didn’t work out. At the least it wouldn’t be lying.

And something about the bio’s frank tone intrigued him. It felt more authentic, like someone he wouldn’t mind talking to, even if it only lasted a few minutes. And there was no denying the irony of a vigilante pursuing justice.

Nothing ventured…

He hit the icon that opened up a message box and began to type.

—-

Work was not exactly going well today. She was still tired and a bit sore from her workouts at the gym, not that she was about to give those up. It was the only time she really felt alive anymore, not like at the office where she had to pretend everything was fine and that she hadn’t watched her sister’s body fall off a rooftop only a few short weeks ago.

It wasn’t that she hated her job. It just wasn’t enough anymore, not when the city was regularly on the verge of crisis the past few years and the justice system couldn’t even try keeping up. Sitting on the sidelines and watching Oliver and the others do something about it just grew more and more frustrating with each passing day.

It wasn’t as if she could have much of her own life anymore. She was lying to her father about Sara, lying to anyone not on Oliver’s team about the Arrow, and lying to herself about why she kept turning down various invites to go out or be set up with a friend of a colleague. Why not do something worthwhile with the time she wasn’t using?

A vaguely familiar sounding ping came from her purse. Laurel dug around in it for her phone and blinked at the screen. Then she groaned.

“Speak of the devil.”

There was a notification from the dating app Joanna had made her download this past summer. It had been a while since she’d heard anything from it; truthfully Laurel had been pretty sure she’d fended off the majority of any potential suitors, which she realized was not what her friend had wanted at all.

“You need to get back out there,” Joanna had said. “Seriously, Laurel, you have gone through so much, and I don’t want to see you give up on a single part of your life. And that includes relationships.”

“Joanna, I appreciate that, I really do.” Laurel had tried for a smile, not wanting to make her friend feel bad. “But it’s not that I’m not dating because I’m still hung up on some guy.” Not the guy Joanna had probably been thinking of, anyway. “I just really don’t have the time to date around.”

“Who does anymore? That is why all the young professionals have gotten into this nifty thing called online dating.”

She’d suppressed a groan. “I think you mean old people.”

“Yeah, on eHarmony, sure. But there’s sites for busybodies hitting their thirties just like you and me.”

“I’m not sure it’s going to look that great for the ADA to be online dating,” Laurel had said, thinking it an easy-out.

“Then we’ll set you up with one of those anonymous sites,” Joanna had decided. “It’s more for the practice than anything. Just to boost your confidence so you can start dating in the real world again.”

Grudgingly, she’d handed her phone over and let Joanna search for and download an app that met the right specifications.

“Now, you’re gonna need a username. Something kind of mysterious and sexy—”

“I’m not trying to be sexy,” she’d reminded her friend.

“--but still you,” Joanna had continued as though Laurel hadn’t spoken. She’d bitten her lip in a long few minutes of thought, and just when Laurel had begun to hope they’d been stymied before this could really begin, Joanna’s eyes had lit up. “Oh, this one’s perfect!”

Laurel had leaned over the table to watch her friend’s typing. “Justice is a woman?”

“And that woman is you. Come on, it fits.”

She’d coached Laurel through writing a little bio section that didn’t give away any real personal details and a brief questionnaire that was meant to determine her preferences. Laurel had insisted on making it clear she wasn’t really in the market for a relationship; just a friend would do.

“You realize most guys are gonna take that as code for a one-night stand, right?”

Joanna had been right, which had meant a couple solid weeks of slogging through various offers and blocking anyone who sent her an attachment on sight. With a little bit of tweaking, the messages had slowed to a trickle — though most of those were requests to join some pre-existing couple’s threesome since she’d honestly listed her openness towards talking to either men or women once Joanna hadn’t been watching.

But she’d forgotten all about it especially in the wake of Sara’s murder. Laurel unlocked her phone with the full intention to just delete the app, but her eyes caught sight of the message that had been sent.

KingOfSurvival: is the looking for a friend part of your bio for real?

Something about it gave her pause. It wasn’t exactly easy to tell over the internet, but the question seemed genuine. Although she wasn’t sure what to make of that username. The likelihood was that she was reading way too much into it, however, so with that in mind she typed out a terse reply.

JusticeIsAWoman: is that the setup for some kind of ‘change your mind with a dick pic’ maneuver

The reply was almost immediate.

KingOfSurvival: no

KingOfSurvival: I just meant I could use a friend myself. I’m not really on here to see anyone or hookup or anything with pictures

KingOfSurvival: do people really do that?

JusticeIsAWoman: you wouldn’t believe how often

She sat back in her chair, considering the turn this had taken. He wasn’t interested in dating her or sex, but he’d messaged her anyway. And in the middle of the workday. That didn’t exactly speak well for him, but maybe he was on his lunch break. Laurel hadn’t been planning to take one, but there wasn’t anything pressing on her desk at the moment.

JusticeIsAWoman: if you’re not interested in dating, what are you doing on a dating site?

KingOfSurvival: couldn’t I ask you the same?

“Touché,” Laurel muttered under her breath. He’d already sent a second message before she could begin typing.

KingOfSurvival: truth is a friend signed me up for this

JusticeIsAWoman: same thing happened to me

KingOfSurvival: that might say something about the company we both keep

JusticeIsAWoman: is that why you’re looking for new friends

There was a longer wait for his answer, and Laurel chewed her bottom lip, wondering if that remark had been a bit too biting.

KingOfSurvival: I laughed more than I should have at that

KingOfSurvival: but really, I guess my personal life is a little complicated and having someone else to talk to would be nice

Complicated personal life. Well, she doubted it could be as complicated as hers. And really, what was she doing chatting with some random stranger on the internet while her whole world kept getting knocked out from under her?

But having someone else to talk to would be nice. Someone who didn’t see her as all her past mistakes, or as just another fellow alcoholic. Wasn’t that the whole point to this anonymity?

JusticeIsAWoman: well, I don’t know how good I’ll be at it, but I can try to be that someone

JusticeIsAWoman: but there’s no way your personal life is more complicated than mine

KingOfSurvival: we’ll have to agree to disagree on that

KingOfSurvival: but if you need someone to talk to, too, then this might work out for both of us

JusticeIsAWoman: looks like it

She happened to glance at the time at the top of her screen and gave a guilty start

JusticeIsAWoman: but maybe later. Kind of need to get back to work

KingOfSurvival: oh, right. My bad

JusticeIsAWoman: are you unemployed or something?

KingOfSurvival: or something

JusticeIsAWoman: hm

KingOfSurvival: don’t you need to get going?

A short laugh escaped her at that, which surprised her. She actually couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed. Probably with Sara on the roof…

What was she doing? Laurel shook her head.

JusticeIsAWoman: fine, you get off easy for now

She set her phone aside face down and resisted the urge to check when it chirped again with her new anonymous friend’s reply. She’d save it for after work. That was the responsible thing to do.

Was it wrong to feel like she had something to look forward to now?

[themiddlelayer]

Maybe I AM the crazy one here

No.. definitely. I’m definitely the crazy one and it’s exhausting. 

Java Bear and I had a long talk about where he was and what had been going on with him all week. He totally validated my feelings and apologized for not reaching out sooner. He continues to reinforce how good he actually is at communication and clearly stated that if there is ever any doubt in my mind of my importance in his life that I should look at my keychain. Giving me a key to the house really IS a big thing. 

He also said that if I’m not sure about what’s going on with him or am afraid that he may be shutting down on me that I should always just reach out and let him know what I’m feeling... and if I’m not able to do that, that I can and should talk to Olive about it. The GF/metamour line is a touchy one, but she’s continued to show support for the communication between us about Java Bear. 

This weekend was more of that validation of my place in their life and just how much they care about me.

MM had a scare on Friday morning. He was having chest pains bad enough that he had a co-worker take him to the clinic because he was afraid it was a heart attack. They said it wasn’t but because of the symptoms, his health and family history they still sent him to the ER via ambulance. I ended up passing my class to another instructor and drove the hour to be with him. Once they had him in a room I had Cookie come help with getting my car home so I could get MM and his car home after they discharged him. 

The fucked up thing was on the way down I found myself wishing I still had Gypsy and Nomad there to help like they did with the last ER run when MM was losing feeling in his legs. That stirred up all kinds of crap for me, but I put on the wife face and just did what needed to be done. 

MM kept saying that he felt guilty about possibly ruining my plans to go to Phoenix so after doing dinner with Cookie and driving home I finished packing and left around 9:15pm. 

Olive was up painting a wall and Java Bear was out at a birthday thing for his buddy when I got there. She and I got a couple hours to just hang out before he got home and we all eventually went to bed. 

The alcohol had Java Bear feeling all kinds of frisky and Olive’s functioning uterus had her in the same place. But her functioning uterus meant that despite the desire being there, we all stopped short of PIV and eventually attempted to sleep. 

I say attempted to sleep because not long after finding my underwear Java Bear started to whimper in his sleep and twitch while he was holding me. It wasn’t his usual purr/growl thing but something sad, scared... I said something to Olive and we realized that he was having night terrors. I narrowly missed catching an elbow in the initial flailing before we sandwiched him and held him tight enough that he couldn’t swing his arms around anymore. It was a rough night but better that the first time I saw it was at their place with Olive there to show me how to handle him when it happens. 

Java Bear got up around 5am and Olive and I slept until after 9am. Her kiddo was playing video games with Java Bear when I came out. Java Bear and I did a grocery run and then they cooked up a big brunch with pancakes, fresh fruit and eggs. It was just a normal “family” kind of morning. 

Eventually we decided that naps needed to happen. Olive wanted to touch up the wall she’d painted so Java Bear and I curled up. There was more sexual tension but Java Bear had told me that they hadn’t christened the new bed and that Olive wasn’t okay with the two of us having sex there first. I TOTALLY understood where she was coming from so we did our best to behave. 

We’d had a talk the night before in the throes of sexy time when we both said that we weren’t ready to watch the other with Java Bear. It was different with all of us involved but with her being on her period it just wasn’t practical or really do-able. 

Olive came up to bed after giving the boy something to keep him occupied. The same tension was there with the three of us in bed and I got to the point where I just asked where the dark towels were and told her, “Please fuck your husband. You can take the kiddo out for a bit after dinner and he and I can have some time.” She objected a bit but I was pretty sure they were still going to have sex while I was downstairs with my headphones on, chatting with friends. I was totally fine with it and just relieved that the tension would dissipate.

Maybe an hour later they came down and told me that they’d been talking the entire time. They told me that didn’t want to impose any “couple’s privilege” on me and that Olive was going to take the the kiddo for a walk to go get a movie so Java Bear and I could have some time. I about burst into tears... good tears. I continued to assure Olive that I totally understood how she felt and thanked her for understanding where I was... spending most nights alone and knowing I won’t get to see either of them for at least 2 more weeks. 

Java Bear and I totally took advantage of the time but I was sure to be downstairs fully dressed when Olive got home. I also made the bed up, opened the window, turned the fan on and sprayed air freshener in the bedroom. We had both showered and were talking about dinner when they got back. The kiddo stood outside the door and they asked me to close my eyes. He had seen a stuffed husky while they were shopping and because I’d talked about my husky at breakfast he insisted they buy it for me as my Valentine. Could that be any stinking cuter?!? 

We decided on take-out poke for dinner and I stayed in my jammies and waited in the jeep while they went in to get it. The rest of the night was more of the awesome... cheesy kids movie, dinner, then Java Bear and I watched the latest Grey’s Anatomy while Olive did some meal prep. How I managed to not fall apart completely during that episode is totally beyond me. Ben and Bailey had been “on a break” and they got back together. Their separation was heartbreaking. Their reconciliation was equally emotional. And yes, I know.. fictional characters.. but it really hit home with some of the things MM has said to me lately. 

MM and I had our ‘therapy’ night on Wednesday and he talked about how he thought it would be ‘just us’ after the quad imploded. Thursday after my emotional day over Java Bear’s post he asked if I wanted anything from the grocery store and I asked him to grab me some salmon. He had plans to go out to a game night and was going to change and turn around but while I was finishing my paperwork, he got home and put my salmon on the grill. It was just one more example of him showing how much he loves me and wants to keep trying. 

I’m tearing up just writing that.

I don’t know how to go back. I don’t know how to unring these bells. Part of me wants to just cut everyone else out of my life and go back to monogamy, but I know that MM’s relationship with Pixie is still in a good place, and my relationships with Java Bear and Olive are awesome. I feel so loved and valued and wanted there. At least, I SEE how loved and valued and wanted I am there. That’s where I’m struggling right now. 

I had a meltdown on the drive home thinking about the moment when we were all in bed together fooling around. I was the center of attention but all I could think was, “Is this my life? Is this really what I want? How did I get here?” I started spinning, feeling like a lot of what I’ve been doing hasn’t been out of choice but out of a need to make the best of a bad situation. 

Polyamory made it so that MM and I could view our marriage as evolving rather than ending when we got to a certain point in the quople where we knew that we had become disconnected. Truth be told, we were struggling to stay connected before the quad... Poly made it so that we can still love each other and be partners but have our other needs met elsewhere because I’m not ready to really get all the way back in. But the longer we do this, the less I see the possibility of getting back to who we were in any way. That breaks my heart. 

The worst part of it all is this sense of being unable to feel the good. It’s that ‘taste of blue’ thing. Most people, if they are lucky, are raised being fed blue things so that they have a clear, natural understanding of what blue tastes like. People like me... we see blue, we know what it looks like and hear the rest of the world talk about how sweet it is. We recognize the blue things but don’t have that immediate understanding when it’s in our mouths that, yes.. this is BLUE. Not a blue thing but blue. Does that make any sense? 

My crazy is still really flowing and I can’t imagine that the whiskey is the cause after this many days. I’m hungry and tired. I made myself oatmeal and coffee and ran the towels that Olive said she wanted to wash this weekend before doing the drive back. From there I spent a couple hours doing Friday’s paperwork and coloring Cookie’s hair. MM is at a game night at Pixie’s today so I likely won’t see him until later, assuming I’m still up when he gets home. 

I’m trying to prep for tomorrow’s class because it’s one I haven’t taught in months and I’ve got a really big group. I know I need to make myself some real food and put the clean sheets on the bed. I need a hot shower and will probably be in bed early. I’m trying to take care of myself, really... I think this is what it looks like. Writing, eating, sleeping, maybe doing more reading in the Codependency book... I just feel so tired and empty right now. 

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

An egg-cellent day for an adventure

It's another fun filled day of baking sweet treats at the camp as we've got a surplus of eggs to use up. Good thing Emilia decided to drop by along with her daughter Michele Toni for a well deserved mother-daughter weekend. I was hoping for the day when Emilia would stop by for a visit and now she's here!

(Psstt... Andrea, Selene, Paget, Lena, Rini, Malka, Kate, Annie, and Luciana- camp's open all year round for visitors so if you can, come on over!)

Along with collecting eggs scattered across the camp and making baked goods, Emilia's also filming a travel-style vlog for her channel Emilia Eats. She mainly does recipe videos with an occasional vlog, something she's been doing for about ten years now. Along with making videos Emilia runs a local catering company of the same name.

I've always loved Emilia's cooking and baking - it's one of the many things I look forward to when I visit home - second to my mom's, of course. Also I love her videos as she's got a sweet personality that makes me feel enthusiastic about baking. I've saved a lot of her recipes for reference and sometimes I just like watching her videos just to see old friends like Serena, Tony, and Michele.

I'm glad to see Emilia in a much better place. We caught up a bit at the wedding, where I got to know Michele Toni a bit more as well as catch up with her dad. The past few years have been rough on them but now it looks like things are finally settling down for Emilia and Mr. Phillips.

Little Michele Toni's so cute, she's almost like a mini-me of Emilia. Hard to believe she's a toddler now and it's so cute seeing her take an interest in baking! I always love seeing her "cooking" alongside her mom in various videos.

Around the time before Michele Toni was born, Emilia was going through a rough time. Up until then, the Phillips-Conrad family were a happy bunch. The family had a bit of unwanted publicity as Mr. Phillips was, and still is, a big name in town, so the fact that he, a white man, adopted two young black girls was something the media wanted to dig up dirt on. Truth is, there was nothing to stir up - Emilia and Michele's mom and Mr. Phillips were good friends and he was always like a father figure to the girls. Both didn't have much living family so they assigned each other as godparents to their kids.

For years they were a happy family - Emilia, Tony, and Michele. Tony was the one who helped Emilia get started with her channel, teaching her how to film and edit videos as well as get more views. Michele was the one who helped Emilia come up with recipe ideas and in the videos where she's featured, the two would often talk about their mom. Emilia always spoke fondly of her as did Tony while Michele would listen intently when the two told stories of the past. Those videos are always bittersweet to watch, especially now that Tony and Michele are gone.

Things changed when Tony went off to college, traveling abroad and rarely coming home. Michele also went abroad and later got caught up in a hectic, stressful lifestyle, leaving Emilia in Rosevine balancing her life as a baker and a Galaxy Fighter. We all had a feeling that Tony and Michele were going to leave while Emilia stayed so it was expected that the three would go their separate ways. They were still a close knit family though - none of us suspected that something was wrong.

The deaths of Tony and Michele were a huge shock to the community. Both were struggling with alcoholism and drug addiction as their lives took a toll on them. Tony died from a drug overdose and Michele drove off a bridge, both were at their lowest point due to unlucky breaks. Then months later Serena died in the Crystal Shadow War so in that time span Emilia lost her siblings and best friend.

It was a difficult time for everyone. I was also going through some rough patches myself so you can imagine how bad it was. Pretty much everyone I knew from home was going through a terrible time because the universe somehow decided to be a dick and throw all these tragedies at us.

Thankfully, those days are behind us. Months later I opened the camp, Emilia and the other Galaxy Fighters had their spirit revived thanks to a band of adventurers - I guess you can say the darkest hour is just before dawn. Not everything's perfect right now, but we're all doing a lot better, and that's what matters.

Along with some new friends sort of turning Rosevine upside down, Emilia was in for another unexpected turn. Not too long after Serena's death, Emilia started seeing some guy who wasn't good for her. Then Michele Toni was born and she was probably the best thing to ever happen for her mom and grandpa in light of the tragedies that plagued them. It wasn't until last year when Michele Toni made appearances on Emilia's channel and stole the show. Seeing the two of them bake together makes me so happy - and I'm glad that Emilia finally feels comfortable embracing her role as a mom.

Michele Toni had a lot of fun bringing us eggs she found while exploring the camp, her favorite place being the beach. Emilia says her favorite hangout spot is Sunburst Island because it reminds her of her family's summer home in Watercolor Vineyards. I've never been there but from how she, Tony, and Michele described it, the island sounds beautiful!

While sightseeing and scavenging for eggs, Emilia filmed for her vlog and caught me and Daisy Jane  up on everything that's been going on at home. Selene, Arianne, and Vitoria are up to the usual, their latest adventure happened to be with Team Magic involving smoke screens, zombies, and frozen tidal waves. Kate's got a big tennis match coming up while Malka has a concert in a couple weeks. Rini and her grandma are doing well, running the shrine as usual and planning for their yearly spring trip to Tranquility Falls. Lena and Annie are busy at the hospital saving lives and helping others. Paget's doing all right, holding her own, taking it one day at a time. Andrea and Robin are doing their best too, keeping up with Selene and the others. Luciana's checking in on everyone as usual, coming to the rescue in the nick of time.

Hunting for eggs was a lot of fun! Emilia showed off her powers a little for the campers. As a Galaxy Fighter, she's Guardian Cyclone and her powers involve manipulating air into wind, creating powerful blasts that can be as strong as a hurricane. Since a good batch of the eggs are in hard to reach places (Why, Zipper, why?), it's a good thing we have Emilia here to help her out because she's currently the tallest person here right now, she's an agile climber, and can use her powers to drop eggs that are impossible to reach. In a stroke of luck, not a single egg was broken - and we were kinda rough with them.

Once we were satisfied with the amount of eggs we collected (maybe not satisfied but you can only collect so many eggs before you get annoyed by them popping up everywhere you go), it's time to get cooking! For savory dishes we made a bunch of quiches to put many of the eggs to good use and so we can freeze them for later. We made a bunch of different kinds - spinach and feta, four cheese, kimchi, salmon and cream cheese, shakshouka, garden veggies, sausage - it's a good thing we labeled everything! Of course, we used Emilia's trusty old recipe for a buttery, flaky crust that's not only delicious, but easy to make and freezes well.

The desserts was where we went all out. I happened to score a nice bargain with a barrel full of perfect peaches so we made a lovely pie with those. Daisy Jane taught us how to make egg tarts, a sweet treat I haven't had in forever. Coco made carrot cake cheesecake bars, Claude baked a giant quadruple chocolate mousse cake, and Dora made a lovely assortment of digestive biscuits to go with freshly brewed tea. Emilia made up a recipe on the spot - lemon vanilla cardamon bars - which turned out really good.

Since the lemon vanilla cardamon bars were such a hit, Emilia's gonna make a recipe video of it - at the camp. I still can't believe that Daisy Jane and I are gonna be on Emilia Eats - first for the vlog, now a recipe video! It's taken her years but Emilia plans to get most, if not all, her friends to appear on her channel. She plans to get Team Magic on next as she's planning a video with Mariposa and Skully, developing a recipe with Angie, figuring out what she wants to do with Luna that won't blow up the kitchen, and waiting on Pippa and Willow.

I can't wait to see what Emilia Eats has in store because Emilia's been knocking it out of the park lately! Her videos have always been consistently good but in the past few months she's been putting a lot more heart into it. Even when times were tough, Emilia always managed to put on a brave face. I remember watching her videos during those times, how despite everything that was going on, Emilia continued making recipes. We all have our different ways of coping with grief and hers was to continue with business as usual, which can be a good and bad thing.

Hanging out with her and watching her play with Michele Toni, I know for sure that Emilia's going to be all right. We can't undo the past and bring back lost loved ones, but we can carry on. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but I think I see a little bit of Michele Toni's aunt and uncle in her. She's definitely got her mom's heart and spirit.

After a fun day of collecting eggs and baking, it's time for a well deserved bonfire dinner of quiches, seafood chowder, and freshly baked sourdough bread. Then tomorrow will be more egg hunting, baking, filming, and good old camping fun!