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pudgecuddles · 3 years

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My Content & Boundaries

[No need to be alarmed! Nothing has happened to prompt this, I just figured it was about time that I pin a post like this.]

Welcome to my kink blog! This post is here to introduce myself, disclose what type of content that I may reblog or post here (including trigger warnings) and state my boundaries concerning who I want and don’t want interacting with me or my blog.

Intro:

Hi! I’m pudgecuddles! I’ve been here in the community as a lurker since 2018, and finally got around to making this sideblog about 2 years ago under the handle “prettypudgy”. I changed my username slightly after some twitter douchecanoes took screenshots of my content and made threads mocking it.

I am 24 years old and identify as female. Please use she/her pronouns when referring to me. I won’t be mad at all though if you use they/them or he/him, but I’ll probably just gently let you know what I prefer :)

I am aromantic/asexual, meaning that I do not experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or expression. I still experience aesthetic attraction, and of course enjoy the concept of weight gain as a kink.

Although I am participating in them, I am not looking for RP partners at the moment!

My Content and the Content I Reblog:

Although I do like fluffy and mild WG content (ya’ll who make that type of content are amazing and beautiful and deserve all the love and reblogs in the world), I do enjoy darker and less popular tropes/kinks as well. Up until recently the majority of the stuff I’ve reblogged has been cute and moderate, but I have been working on my own stories and RPs which happen to be on the more intense/darker side.

My content going forward may include topics such as:

Extreme Weight Gain Immobility Mind Break Pet/Pig Play BDSM Humiliation Manipulation Feminization Dub-Con Watersports Eproctophilia Slob Abusive Relationships (it’s not something I enjoy writing, but I may reblog it)

I will always tag specific topics and tropes that may not be for everyone such as immobility or fart kink stuff. And definitely triggering content such as dub-con or degradation. For example, I will tag it as “Immobility”, “cw Immobility” and “tw Immobility”, in case someone has only one tag blacklisted.

Please keep yourself safe! This community is supposed to be a comfortable, creative area where users can curate a homepage of content that matches thier tastes and respects their boundaries. I will not be offended at all if you decide to block me or my written/rendered content. All I ask is if you’re already an acquaintance or mutual of mine that you let me know before you do :) You don’t even need to tell me why, I just don’t want to wonder if I made you mad or were ignoring me on purpose.

Zero hard feelings, seriously! The block button is there to protect you!

Boundaries:

Please do not hit on me, or unexpectedly discus sexual topics without me knowing your age and instigating it. It is different if I already know you and am comfortable speaking with you like that.

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow that drawing is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Thank you so much! ^_^ What do you think about the shape of his hands?

Minors: If you do not have your age, (or at least an 18+ only, or “I am an adult!”) in your bio, I will either ask you for your age or choose not to interact directly with you. This is not a punishment or a personal vendetta. I just do not feel comfortable interacting directly with minors when it comes to NSFW kink content. I am okay with reblogging your content, as supporting those in the community that are still young and exploring their identities in a safe and distant way is very important to me. I am so happy for you that you have found a welcoming and protective space to safely explore your sexuality and discuss your favorite groups. It’s what I wish I had when I was younger.

But I ask that you don’t attempt to private message me or participate in conversations that are sexual in nature.

Bigotry: Do not interact with me, my blog or my content if you do not support all LGBTQ+ identities. This includes but is not limited to: Transgender folk, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Polysexuals, Omnisexuals, Asexuals, Aromantics and Non-Binary/Agender peeps. TERFs, exclusionists and Battleaxe Bisexuals are not welcome and will be insta-blocked. Same with those that participate in “discourse” on these topics.

If you do not believe that Black Lives Matter or support Donald Trump or any conservative party, politician or policy, please unfollow and block me. They have killed thousands of people and actively lobby against minorities.

This is the only time that I will be political on this blog. I am infinitely more outspoken/advocating on my main, but this sideblog is supposed to be a stress-free, kinky escape from the horrors of reality. I go on my main to reblog petitions, I go on here to reblog erotica.

This does not mean that I do not care, or that I am not an ally or that I enable racists or transphobes. It just means that I recognize that sometimes people get burnt out from constantly being reminded of the policies that harm them, or acts of violence against their race. I want this blog to be an escape, for both myself and my followers.

Hate/Trolling: Hateful or negative comments on me or my friend’s content will get your account blocked. This ranges from “ew” to telling them to kill themselves. This behavior is not tolerable anywhere, and the more extreme comments will be reported to Tumblr staff. Comments saying our content is disgusting will automatically tell me you think it’s hot and are in denial. How very sad. I will dedicate my grossest story to you specifically.

Inter-Community Drama: Mob behavior, brigading, witch hunting, call out posts (vague or by name), vitriolic hate and bullying of any type is something that makes me extremely uncomfortable due to having experienced cyberbullying in the past. Making people deactivate, continuing to attack them after apologies and other related behavior will get you blocked no matter the quality of your content, your standing in the community or our relationship history.

I cannot deal with seeing that behavior and it scares me continuing to interact with those that I learn can so easily turn on their friends like that.

That’s All Folks!

#tw mention of abuse #tw mention of self-harm #tw drama #tw politics

11 notes · View notes

c-resources · 5 years

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WELCOME TO MY TIPS, ADVICE AND TUTORIALS SERIES.

This series of posts is intended to teach and/or remind users of pretty much anything regarding Tumblr, from basic rules to gif tutorials.

Today we will be covering Part 1: Back to Basics

The latest trends with social media have left users with a bitter taste in their mouths, and made Tumblr less appealing. Here we will be covering some general rules that there are about Tumblr. They may not be spoken or even be in Tumblr’s terms of service but you’ll find many people - especially creators stick by these rules.

1. FOLLOWING

Who you follow is important and it may seem like a simple thing to just hit that follow button, but it’s important to check blogs before you follow. Some blogs have a before you follow (which usually can be found in their description), which will specify if they don’t want certain people following - this is usually a bloggers way of avoiding triggers.

So lets take a case, you find a blog and you would like to follow them. You go into their about or before you follow in their description where it specifies that they do not want haters of a [insert character name] to follow them. You in fact hate that character, so in that case you respect their wishes and do not follow them.

It’s also important to note, when you follow someone you almost sign a contract with some bloggers - as if you unfollow them and they are following you they may automatically unfollow you, possibly blacklist you and even block you. It depends on the blogger, but it is something you should be aware of.

2. LIKES

This is a hot and controversial topic, especially amongst creators. Here’s the most important thing to remember, Tumblr is NOT Facebook, Tumblr is NOT Twitter and Tumblr is NOT Instagram. Likes work differently on this site compared to the others and this must ALWAYS be taken into account, likes in fact while count for notes do little for a post beyond adding +1 to notes.

There are no strict rules regarding liking, you can like whatever you want but it’s reblogs you should be more aware of as that is will what allow to see content on your dash.

Also note, everything you like goes into your like page (which can be found in Mobile) and can be publicly viewed unless you make it private in your settings. I’d recommend keeping it private, because the content you want people to see - that you like, should be on your blog and it’s a good way of one keeping track of content and keeping things private that you like but don’t want others to see.

3. REBLOGS

Reblogs are important for pretty much anyone on this site, but especially creators. This could be writers, artists and editors.

Similar to likes, there are no rules regarding reblogs which part of the reason the like-reblog ratio has suffered so much in the past year.

My recommended method is Reblog if you Like and by that I do not mean reblog everything you like, I mean if you like the content so much you want others to see it and you want to see more of the same then you reblog it. Even if you don’t keep it on your blog permanently and delete it later, it still counts as a reblog.

This may sound contradictory, because some people are very exclusive about what goes on their blogs, in particular aesthetic blogs. In which case I recommend you either avoid all non-to your interest content or Create a Sideblog (which we will go into next time) to post the content to.

As I said reblogging shouldn’t be taken lightly, reblogging allows for content to be spread, thus no reblog = cannot spread and therefore cannot be seen. If content cannot be seen, then creators will cease to create and this site would basically die.

HOWEVER, I must also mention that if someone tells you NOT to reblog something whether in tags or comment section then you DO NOT REBLOG that post, as the op will have a reason for not wanting something reblogged.

4. QUEUING

Queuing is one of the best things about Tumblr, in my opinion. One of the flaws in reblogging is that you can spam people’s dashs when you reblog over and over.

Many people, myself included set up a queue where things are reblogged at specific times (you can time it to be scheduled to certain times of specific days). This is useful to make sure that your blog is consistently active, even if you are away for days or weeks at a time.

Additionally, it is useful to use alongside likes. I personally like things I plan to queue, and then use the likes as bookmarks to tell what I have not reblogged. Then once my queue is getting low i go through my likes and queue them up - and unlike them. Thus keeping notes at the same and keeping my blog organised.

#yeahps #allresources #itsphotoshop #completeresources #t: advice #t: txt #g: tumblr #*#*tat #*txt

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emberinmyheart · 6 years

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[ writing tips ]

( I am not the person who thought of all of these writing tips and ideas. Writing tips come from books such as Write Your Novel in a Month by Jeff Gerke, The First 50 Pages by Jeff Gerke, Writing Your Novel from Start to Finish by Joseph Bates and a tumblr account called @writingmastery . I do not take credit for any of this, this is just meant to help you.)

c h a r a c t e r s :

- making the characters

- what makes a good character/protagonist

- making the antagonist

- questions to ask about your protagonist

- things your protagonist must have

- supporting characters

p l o t :

- planning the plot

- theme

- outlines

d i a l o g u e :

- basic dialogue formatting

w r i t i n g s u g g e s t i o n s :

- how to get out of writer’s block

- how to get inspiration

[ c h a r a c t e r s ]

- making the characters -

1. Consider your character’s:

• Intelligence

• Natural gifts or talents

• Love language (how they express affection)

• Self-esteem

2. Consider your character’s physical traits, such as:

• Gender

• Age (at the time the story begins)

• Ethnicity

• Height

• Weight

• Hair style and color

• Eye color

• Complexion

• Teeth

• Eyesight

• Physical attraction

• Any deformities, handicaps or distinctive marks

• Facial hair (for male characters only)

• Clothing style (including sense of style)

• Accessories

• Jewelry

• Tattoos and / or piercings

• Contacts or glasses

or things such as:

• Hygiene

• Posture

• Vehicle they use (optional?)

because this can be a massive help when discovering a character’s personality. “How would your character’s personality be affected by the physical attributes you choose?” (Jeff Gerke, Pages 52, 53 & 54)

3. Consider your character’s background, such as their:

• Siblings — ages, names and relationship with hero

• Level of wealth or poverty

• Whether they lived in the city or the country

• Marital status of parents

• Culture

• Education

• Relationship with parent of the same gender

• Era

• Societal backdrop (war, famine, revolution)

• Country and region

• Parents — who are they? What do they do? What were their experiences with the hero in the past and present, and how have experiences with them molded the hero’s life? Are they alive? Are they dead? Rich? Poor? Alcoholic? Was the father a famous athlete the hero had to learn to be like, or never thought he could be like? Does this impact the hero’s relationship with their siblings, if they have any?

(Jeff Gerke, page 55)

- what makes a good character/protagonist -

1. Consider this for your protagonist/hero...

• The selfless hero. For example: “a single mother who works two jobs who works two jobs but still somehow manages to do homework with the kids and go out for ice cream once in a while, or a soldier who volunteers to stay behind to cover his buddies’ retreat, or the silent partner who lets someone else get the glory for the work that was actually shared.” (Jeff Gerke, page 36)

• The compassionate hero. “When someone reaches out in love towards another, it is considered a virtue. It follows that your reader will most likely resonate with a compassionate hero. Show them having mercy on someone when it was within their rights to condemn, or show them going through all kinds of trouble to get a crust of bread to eat, but then show them handing it over to someone who has even less than he does.” (Jeff Gerke, page 37)

• The generous hero. “We love the bighearted giver. Most of us wish we were in a position to be able to give like that, to support some person or cause we believe in. Show your hero secretly dropping a hundo into the subway musician’s tip jar or leaving a fifty dollar tip for the diner waitress or anonymously buying someone’s wares at auction to be sure he has money to live on.” (Jeff Gerke, 37)

• The charming hero. “If your character can make the reader laugh, you’ve got them. We all love charming, winsome people. They’re fun to be around. They make life a little less burdensome. Humor can be hard to write, so don’t stress if this isn’t the direction you want to go. But if you can create a protagonist that makes us smile, you have us.” (Jeff Gerke, 38)

• The sympathetic hero. One of the main ways to engage your reader is to make them relate and bond with your character until they’re attached. Characters can bring back your memories and trigger the release of feelings you’ve got pent up in your head and can help you navigate your own issues. “If you can cause your reader to feel sympathetic towards your protagonist, you’ve won. When you show that gaping hole of pain or loss, the reader leans in, rushing forward with compassion into that person’s life like air filling a vacuum. When we feel your hero’s loss or grieve with them as they fail once again to achieve a noble goal, we build an instant connection. Make us feel like this is someone who we would like who has just been dealt a terrible hand— but who nevertheless keeps trying— and you’ll have us.” (Jeff Gerke, 41)

• The unlikable hero. Some characters in best-selling books are unlikable characters, but they have something redeeming in them trying to get out. It’s the good that makes us tolerate them and even come to like them. Your heroes can be unlikable or have a lot of flaws, but they have to be somewhat likable enough for the hero to be attached to them and their story.

• The winsome hero. “One reason why readers can engage with these characters is that they find them endearing. They’re good souls, they make you laugh, and they’re gentle with others. Characters can be flamboyant and outrageous, but they’re delightful to be around. To make your reader attached to them in the first few pages, you’ll need to reveal this winsomeness to the readers somewhere in the first fifty pages.” (Jeff Gerke, 73)

• The smart hero. “Another way to make readers engage with your character is to make them smart, resourceful, clever or mentally agile. We value characters who can see straight through the smoke to the thing the smoke was meant to conceal. We delight in seeing a resourceful hero trying to climb to that pile of puzzles to tell us what they see from there.” (Jeff Gerke, 73)

“The way you can tell if characters are weak is by reading about fifty pages of a novel. If by then you can’t tell the characters apart aside for cosmetic things like gender, age, role, office, species, attitude or goofy accent, there’s a problem. If you could switch the names around in a dialogue scene and nothing seems out of the ordinary, the characters are weak. If the only difference between your characters is that one’s always mad and the other is always talking dirty, your book is doomed.” (Jeff Gerke)

- making the antagonist -

What does a antagonist need to become a good villain?

A good antagonist, or villain, usually has to:

• Be strong. “A strong villain makes for a strong hero. When a hero overcomes a weak villain, they’re not going to seem very epic to the reader. But have them overcome a galaxy-destroying psychopath with an army of flesh-eating undead giants under their command, and you might just have yourself a hero of legend.”

• Make the hero go through several stakes. When you look back at all of the notes you’ve made for your story so far, you may have a clear idea of what the stakes are. What might be the “OR-ELSE” stakes you can set for your book? According to Jeff Gerke (a very useful source for writing tips), “the stakes can be related to a goal, a relationship, safety or anything else. They can be objectively large (if the hero fails, Earth will be destroyed) or small (if the hero fails, the team won’t win the first game of the season), so long they are important to the hero— and thus the reader”. (Jeff Gerke, page 79)

- questions to ask about your protagonist -

When creating and rounding out your protagonist, there are some questions you must ask yourself first:

1. Who is your protagonist? “The events in your novel are only meaningful for the reader in terms of how and why they’re meaningful for a protagonist. The protagonist is the lens through what we see, and interpret, everything in the book.” (Joseph Bates, page 22)

2. What does your protagonist want, and why is it important to them? “A protagonist must have a clear goal in the book, as well as a clear motivation for wanting to achieve it... not just what they’re after, but why they’re after it, so that the reader feels a sense of personal stakes.” (Joseph Bates, page 22)

3. What stands in the way of the protagonist? “Which is to say, what conflicts will the protagonist face? As with motivation, these conflicts will sometimes be external, plot-level conflicts and at other times, personal ones.” (Joseph Bates, page 22)

4. What familiar genres or tropes are suggested by premise, and how will your novel both play with or against those expectations? “Every story idea will automatically get you thinking of certain genres the story borrows from. Finding ways to make these tropes seem new and unexpected will be much more enjoyable for you to write and for your reader to read.” (Joseph Bates, 23)

5. How does the world of the novel that your protagonist is in— its setting, rules, everything related to the book’s tone— help reveal or illuminate the protagonist’s quest? “A story’s world helps build a reader’s understanding of the character’s quest, meant to find a understanding of motivation, conflict and stakes. World-building is often one of the first aspects that’ll pop into our heads when we think of a new novel idea, and it’s very easy to get stuck into the world-building stage. But the world can only come into sharp focus when we see it as an extension of the character and conflict. We don’t build a world and then drop a character into it. We build the world according to our understanding of story and character.” (Joseph Bates, 23)

6. What personal, everyday questions or problems arise within the premise that you connect with and will explore over the course of the novel? “This is something that you’ll likely have to discover in the process of writing, not necessarily something you’ll likely know from the start, but it’s the everyday that allows the reader to connect with the protagonist and see something of themselves in the protagonist’s plight. As the everyday questions or problems begin to show themselves and repeat in the book, you’ll see themes emerge, which will help support and structure in the book.” (Joseph Bates, 23)

7. What is your character’s internal motivation; What do they really want? “Again, this might particularly be a question to ask of a flat protagonist, the result of a main character who seems motivated by nothing but plot-level or external circumstances; remember that your hero is also a person, like you or me, and consider what we’d feel in a similar situation. But don’t forget that even minor characters have motivations, and lives, and even arcs, of their own.” (Joseph Bates, 42)

8. How might you locate a character’s internal motivation and conflict if these may seem absent? “If your character’s motivation seems purely external, perhaps as part of their obligation as a job— if you’re writing a detective novel, and the character has simply taken on a new case— try to consider what it is about the change personally, that informs their professional work, how it influences their ability to do the job, or speaks to the reason they entered the profession in the first place. Also consider how this particular job is different from yesterday’s job, or tomorrow’s, or last year’s. Presumably part of what makes this job or case different that is personally different, there’s something personally at stake. How might that be the case?” (Joseph Bates, 43)

9. Are you playing both with and against type? “No character is 100% good or evil, kindhearted or callous, capable or clueless, so consider not only how to set up our expectation of character, but also how to subvert that expectation, how to complicate our view of a character.” (Joseph Bates, 43)

10. How is the heart of the character, the motivation, evident in a work you admire? “Consider this with any novel or work that means something to you, no matter the genre. Try looking back at the main character you find compelling and play armchair psychologist a bit, looking at how the external and internal motivation and conflict play with, or pay off of, each other.” (Joseph Bates, 43)

- things your protagonist must have -

1. A protagonist must be active and questioning. “The protagonist can’t merely be acted upon in your novel. Your protagonist has to engage the world instead of observing it. Too many beginning novelists tend to trade character development for world building. Once you fully grasp your character’s want, and why they want it, you can set them down a path of actively pursuing it.” (Joseph Bates, 36)

2. Your protagonist must evoke a connection with the reader. A reader’s relationship to a protagonist is generally one of sympathy, empathy or it’s because the reader sees their own life in the protagonist’s life. “In other words, we see something of our own lives, experiences and struggles related to the protagonist.” (Joseph Bates, 37)

3. The character must be connected to everything in the story. All those other aspects in the story are connected to the reader, too. The character should be bound to those other elements of the story. Theme, mood, description should all be focused through the prism of character. For some reason, readers want to see our characters be punished, destroyed and wounded, but these things aren’t as satisfying until they’re rewarded and end up triumphant in the end.

4. Tell us what the character (protagonist) wants. It is critical to know what a character wants from the start of the book. The character may not know what they want, but the readers and audience must have that information in order to read more of the story. Maybe, for example, she wants revenge, or freedom from oppression, or their child returned to them, or true love, or anything else that can be seen as a motivation— the reader must know what the character’s motivations are as well, because the readers need to know how far your character has come, what stakes are on the table and what obstacles are between them and their final path.

5. You must prove that your protagonist is worth your audience’s time.

- supporting characters -

1. Supporting characters either help or hinder the protagonist in meeting their goals. Some supporting characters can even end up being villains. “For example, some of the most well-meaning people in our lives try to help, and claim to have our best interests at heart, yet their well-meaning help sometimes ends up hurting. Likewise, people who stand in our way, even those who actively oppose us, can end up pushing us to do or be better. They have motivations of their own, and most supporting characters try to be helpful, but ends up complicating what the other characters are trying to do.” (Joseph Bates, 41)

[ p l o t ]

- planning the plot -

Your hero’s inner journey should have several stages.

These are some things you need to remember when planning out the plot of your story:

1. The hero must start with a problem. A inner journey starts with the hero’s problem. What is wrong in the character’s life? For example, “self-centeredness is often the “sin” chosen for heroes in modern stories. The hero is stuck on themselves, and this selfishness causes no end of problems for them. It deprives them of the life they could have if they weren’t so impressed with themselves. Other popular character problems are bitterness, ambition, pride and a desire for vengeance and/or vindication. But the primary problem that all heroes have is fear. Any from the array of fears and anxieties can propel your hero through a wonderful character arc. Fear of being hurt, or abandonment, or failure, or disappointing others, or loss, or being alone, or losing control, and of meaninglessness, not to mention neurotic fears (arachnophobia, agoraphobia, etc.), anger (which is fear in disguise) and depression (fear and anger turned inwards).” (Jeff Gerke, page 61)

2. The plot is about how the hero must notice their issues, wrestle with their issues and finally deal with their issues. It’s the hero’s chance to change themselves into a better person, from start to finish. “The plot is the stage upon which your hero undergoes their inner journey. Whatever the two forces battling it out inside your hero’s heart are, they’re probably invisible. When you’re thinking of plot structure, your starting point is your hero’s inner journey. Whatever it is they’re dealing with on the inside, that’s what the whole plot will be about.” (Jeff Gerke, page 87)

3. There are several stages in a plot. Examples of this would be events such as: we meet our protagonist, we see the location where the place is going to take place, we understand the protagonist’s goals, and we meet the villain. Beginning, middle and end are good starts for understanding the concepts.

4. In order for the hero to be shown the error of their ways, the author must show them a better alternative, first. Usually, the positive alternative future is the opposite of the negative possible future. What would be a healthy outcome for your hero?

5. There is always going to be an inciting incident in your character’s life. Something unwelcome is going to crash into your hero’s dysfunctional life— this is the inciting incident. Without it, your hero would keep plodding along towards their unhappy ending and go towards the ending you don’t want them to go. The inciting incident doesn’t have to be negative, although it usually is— sometimes, it can be a good thing that changes the character’s life completely. Of course, the character could see it as a blessing, but not while it’s happening. The inciting incident could be something that the character does welcome, but it ends up taking them to places they didn’t want to go. For it to work in the novel, the inciting incident must be powerful and must take the hero on their inner journey throughout the entire book. Our hero won’t immediately embrace the change, or else there would be no inner journey. They have to reject it at first.

6. Your character must have their own, inner journey. “In fiction, a inner journey starts off with a character in need of a significant change in their current life. The journey will then lead the protagonist directly to their moment of truth, which is the moment where the protagonist realizes they’re out of balance and must decide whether they’re going to stay with the imbalance or make the change that will reveal to them what their true self should be.” (Jeff Gerke, page 126)

7. There must be a escalation in the story. “The escalation happens between the inciting event and the moment of truth. This is the internal struggle in which the hero tries to hold onto their old, unbalanced way of living, while the new alternative begins presenting itself as a way back into love. During the escalation, your hero will be pushed and pressed and knocked about because they refuse to embrace the change that will result in their inner healing.” (Jeff Gerke, page 127)

8. You have to combine all of these aspects of the hero’s inner journey together to make the reader truly attached to the story. The cycle that all of these stages go through is starting off with the hero’s unbalanced situation. After the unbalanced situation, which is the hero’s initial condition, there is the inciting event, which is the one event that crashes into the hero’s life that leads to their moment of truth. Between the inciting event and the moment of truth is the escalation.

9. After all of these stages, your hero must have their final state. At the end of every journey, your hero must rest and face the result of her consequential decisions. The final state isn’t whether your hero won or lost, it’s the condition of your hero now that their inner journey is over. However, if your hero chose the wrong way, then the final state is something that is not peaceful or the right way to go. The final state will be good or bad, depending on the hero’s choices.

- theme -

1. Brainstorm a dozen ways to show off primary, secondary and opposite facets of your theme, and see how many of them you can elegantly work into those opening spreads. “You don’t have to cram them all in— you’ve got over three hundred pages to explore your theme, after all— but be sure you’ve begun planting those seeds early on. Such things make rereading a novel especially fun, because the second time, knowing where the book is going, you see things the author was doing to set us up for it, though we couldn’t see them the first time. Imagine it being like a film— in the early section of the film, the filmmakers would plan so many things that would have come to importance later. It’s a testimony to their prowess as storytellers that they were giving us the theme from the outset.” (Jeff Gerke, 207)

- outlines -

1. Outline your story with a beginning, middle and an end. “Each should have an emotional arc for your characters. I’m not talking about a synopsis of what happens, but more of what do they (the key characters) feel when it’s happening. This doesn’t mean that you have to know everything that is going to happen, but you need an arc. Point A leads to point B, then to point C. One thing people forget to do when they outline is define emotional growth, and therefore they forget that the story must include the emotional arc.”

2. Character outlines. “Who is the hero? Who is the heroine? Why do they fit your hero and help them be a better hero? Or vice versa? It is often the hero that helps the heroine and helps her find her way to the other side of a battle. Thus, he becomes a hero for her. Knowing your characters helps shape their responses and the external conflict.”

[ d i a l o g u e ]

- basic dialogue formatting -

There are different types of formatting, such as:

1. Dialogue silos. “In dialogue scenes, keep a character’s words and actions in the same paragraph. The reader understands that, when you change to a new paragraph, a new person is talking. The paragraphs take turns in line with the characters taking turns as they exchange lines of dialogue. Let each paragraph in a dialogue be a little character silo into which only words and actions from that character may be placed.” (Jeff Gerke, pages 138 & 139)

2. Beats. Beats are tools to manage the pacing of your scenes and to tether the scene to the setting. Just as you have to include rests in music, so you have to write beats into your novel, and you have to use beats of varying lengths to create those pauses for the readers. When you want something to proceed without a pause, take out all the words that come first. Without beats, your dialogue scenes are rushed and clumsy, and they become detached to the setting. Beats show us what’s happening in the setting of the scene. They give us the viewpoint character’s thoughts and perceptions, too. A beat implies a pause— if you want to imply a long pause, write a long beat. Short beats equal short pauses. (Jeff Gerke, page 25 & 27)

[ w r i t i n g s u g g e s t i o n s ]

- how to get out of writer’s block -

1. Have a word count goal each day. If you want to write more often than usual, you can set up a goal to write 1,666 words a day or more, depending on how much you want to challenge yourself.

2. Write wherever you go. Having a notebook or a iPad will come in handy when your mind starts wandering to scenes that you might forget later. You can take notes in your notebook or iPad (or any other device you can write or type your ideas down on), email them to yourself and then copy and paste when you get home.

3. Make multiple backups. When your notebook, iPad (or the thing you write down on) crashes or anything that makes you unable to use it, you may need to make backups so you can write on other things. Save it everywhere, or at least on three backups so that you can write whenever, wherever without a problem.

4. Use a timer. Time yourself, and then write down as many ideas or words as you can. See if this helps your inspiration and ideas grow into more complex ideas, and if it does, continue to use it. Surprisingly, most people tend to write faster when they’re being rushed. See if this relates to you, and if not, there are always other solutions.

5. If a scene isn’t working, delete it. Sometimes, a scene is much less forced if you simply let it drag you in the direction that it’s most likely to go. Just keep moving forward, instead of procrastinating by deciding what to write next!

6. Take breaks. Even though you have no time to lose, take a break if you need to. Step away from the phone and do something mindless. Sometimes, the gears in your head overwork themselves, pushing you too far down the rabbit hole, which is why you need to take a break every now and then to get rid of these little moments so you’re not tugging at the strands of your hair in agony when you get to a dead end.

#character design #writing #writing tips #writers #character tips #plot #dialogue tips #dialogue #books #character #character development #theme #antagonist #protagonist #outlines #writing inspiration

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land-of-brains-and-chocolate · 6 years

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god it WILL NOT stop bothering me until i talk about it. the way we got here. it’s not just about the book anymore, not at all, and it’s certainly never been about “shipping”, at this point it’s how helpless the tactics of the guy make me feel.

step one: refer to people who have read previous venom books and noticed the trend throughout the nineties to portray eddie and the symbiote as a man and an agender alien in an ambiguously or not-so-ambiguously romantic relationship, which was picked up on and completely unambiguously canonised in the very last run, consistently refer to these people as “shippers”, lovingly condescend to them, do not ever treat “the ship” as existing beyond their imagination

[I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS EXIST]

result: make people forget that this is a complete misrepresentation and he has received no criticism whatsoever for “not making a ship canon” because that is not what he did, he decanonised it and then denied doing so and painted everyone it ever meant something to as essentially deluded - and, considering that that’s all they are, he’s being awfully kind and accommodating, isn’t he?

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step two: actively seek out these no-good shippers on tumblr! tell them that you’re watching them! read their detailed posts in which they express their grievances about your comic book to their friends and misrepresent their points on your twitter so your bajillion followers can affirm that Those People are categorically wrong about everything!

[EDDIE IS CODEPENDENT]

people are mad at him because he said eddie was codependent! not because he’s reframing the extremely rare story of a troubled queer relationship that was ultimately still a redemptive force in these characters’ lives as an unhealthy compulsion that corrupts, hm, what a fresh and unfamiliar take, no reason why this would strike a nerve - and, recently, of course, as something inherently abusive, every bit of hope and change for the better vile and fake.

literally just start vaguing about people’s personal tumblr blogs on your professional twitter account with the little, little blue checkmark and everything, use that to make passive-aggressive references to people’s posts! why not!

[LOVE EACH OTHER]

people talk about how they like a symbiote and its host getting along (and they did, that very night, talk quite a lot about ngozi)? that is so dumb and lame.

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME]

people get sick of edgy shock factor writing that throws one dark theme after another at them without treating any of them with the consideration they deserve? people expect some moments of levity in a venom book?

they’re asking for stories with no conflict where nothing bad ever happens! but it’s okay, he knows better, he knows you just don’t know what you want! it’s not like endless sadness is just as likely to be dreadfully boring or unintentionally hilarious as endless happiness!

result: o w n e d god he sure is shutting down every point no one has ever made

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step three: literally get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only boil their opinions down to THE SHIIIIP but literally say that their opinions don’t matter because they literally would never say it “to your face” literally because it’s “easy to be brave on tumblr”

literally

say these words

[IT’S EASY TO BE BRAVE ON TUMBLR]

call people chicken shits for NOT talking to you directly! and then! BLOCK everybody who talks to you directly! or quote retweet them so your followers can descend like vultures! actually acknowledge that it takes bravery to interact with you if you’re in the Tumblr Demographic, you know, one of Those People, and frame yourself as in the right for it???

am i losing my mind???

[SIX PEOPLE ON TUMBLR]

get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only claim they’re the only people ever to talk badly of it but imply that you’re one step away from namedropping the specific perpetrators. that’s not ominous at all!

it’s an age-old question: how many times does one of marvel’s top writers with legions of fans have to imply his antagonistic awareness of your specific existence before you’re on a first name basis? and also paranoid?

result: stir shit. be a shit stirrer. faint when your shit stirring does in fact stir shit. you can’t go “you would never” and be surprised when people do, you... can’t...

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step four: whip out your ally card... to whip the people you’re supposed to be allied to with it. try to use your knowledge of queer issues to shut down actual queer people.

[I DON’T THINK IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASSUME GENDER]

either that, or straight-up make a “did you just assume my gender” joke. i can’t find the original tweet anymore, so it’s possible it was that and he deleted it because it was too blatant, lol.

result: MAYBE YOU GUYS WERE THE PROBLEMATIC ONES ALL ALONG

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step five: remember that interview where he outright stated that he just wants to, just to be the definite venom run? just to put the biggest dent in canon he can? just to break everybody’s toys and emerge victorious as the one person with the valid take on venom?

yeah, those things become more noticeable in the actual book, over time, and acceptance of that is, uh, not universal? not everybody’s up for him spending several issues in a row on e s t a b l i s h i n g d o m i n a n c e by having eddie sit around as other characters tell him that a ton of stuff other writers from michelinie to thompson to costa to kaminski to slott to jenkins have done actually sucked and was wrong and fake and never happened? through retcons that make no sense, like, factually don’t fit?

people don’t like you walking back character and relationship development to further your end goal of recasting the symbiote as the personification of addiction and abuse instead of itself a survivor of extreme abuse who has been constantly denied personhood in a way that is frighteningly resonant and who has been going through a genuine redemption arc for years now?

people don’t like you acting like eddie never had a reason for being who he is before and you had to make one up? one that doesn’t fit the character at all, which you didn’t realise because you apparently thought the character had no characterisation before you came along?

you can imagine how these things might spark nerd rage?

and you can probably imagine who this nerd rage was blamed on, yeah?

these criticisms inherently require knowledge of venom canon, because they’re largely about disrespect for it, these criticisms are not related to shipping of any kind - but of course the only thing people could possibly be mad about is the "ship", the only ones making a fuss are those “shippers”, those casuals, Those People who only care about One Thing and don’t understand the real gritty reality of the, god you get it i’m making fun

[I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT]

you’re the only one, don. it’s true.

and i know, i know for a fact, that he’s been aware of criticism from other groups all along, that he was, for example, witness to this livestream that spends like a solid hour a month mercilessly dragging him through the dirt, and you know what the extent of his response was?

thanks for checking the book out.

that’s it. that’s all. this guy hasn’t gotten any less loud about criticising him, either. wishing for his book’s cancellation and retconning. but nothing more. he gets to keep to himself. he is #valid.

people have been taking the piss out of him on youtube, on reddit. only tumblr ever earned his ire. only tumblr gets namedropped at convention panels.

and now, now more than ever? you better believe your regular run-of-the-mill nerds, straight, male, utterly uninterested in the icky stuff, everything, are mad. almost everyone who’s truly tits deep in venom lore is mad.

and so he’s said he’s received threats. and i’m sure he has. i’ve received threats. you’ve received threats. it’s never okay. it sure as shit never helps to send them.

he’s gotten a lot of fucking inappropriate personal vitriol! lots of it actually “ship”-related! i’m categorically against contacting the guy for any reason!

but who is to blame? who do people accept as being to blame? who do news outlets report on as being to blame? when, i presume, not every single one of them actually went “i’m doing this specifically because i’m a (thunder clap) shipper”? when large-scale retcons are literally always met with nerd rage? when a shipper-less fandom probably still would’ve had threats?

[THIS IS INSANE]

[IT’S THE SHIPPERS]

result: if all criticism = “shippers”, and “shippers” = harassment, then everyone who has no actual idea of what’s going on but who doesn’t like “shippers” is automatically on his side and nobody who isn’t a “shipper” wants to risk the association by criticising him.

get this stuff out to his followers, to news outlets, to people completely uninvolved and contextless, and watch the bile run over everywhere because lots of people are ready to accept this narrative in comic book spaces.

have people in the replies and comments eagerly discussing how this is more proof that c+o+m+i+c+s+gate was right and they’re the only reasonable ones. how disgusting and crazy "shippers” are. how donny should keep doing his best to trigger the gays. there’s no pushback against these ideas.

and i’m so fucking stuck between wanting to defend the man, wring my hands and apologise on behalf of the other These People, because i don’t see anything justifiable in their actions, and in being... just... just so frustrated... with everything... with throwing everyone out to the dogs... and claiming that he doesn’t mean to... when he has this whole history of belittling "shippers” specifically... of making sure their public image is that of people who just don’t know what they’re talking about and are in no way worth empathising with... of only drawing attention to the aggressive ones and blocking the reasonable ones

when he literally only stands to benefit from doing all this.

this is massive amounts of free positive pr.

this makes him essentially immune to criticism of any kind.

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

i forgot! somewhere along the line, he did do something very good and disavowed association with co/mics/ga/te!

[C0M1C5G8]

why the fuck am i censoring? tumblr search stopped working decades ago.

anyway, it should come as no particular surprise why these people assumed he would side with them. not that any high profile writer who values his standing would, really. are there any? maybe there are, i’m not up to date on this drama.

i just think it’s funny - genuinely not his fault, but hilarious - that this was apparently enough to inspire a “boycott”? and it was a fart in the wind?

which is the least surprising thing ever because there is actually nothing whatsoever to hold these people’s ire to be found in venom? excluding aliens, there has been one real and present character who isn’t a white guy in 11 issues? it is actively less queer than it was before? donny has never caved to the essjaywoo pressure in any way, shape or form? what were they... thinking? it’s almost like these people are dumb?

all they've done is ensure that, without it actually doing anything, venom gets the commendation for being A Comic The Gators Don't Like?

anyway.

what do we do moving forward? i don’t know. nothing. not harassing anyone. keep being salty on tumblr. do not engage him. i think i’m more about stalling the chain reaction he’s caused than the man himself. if you’re not a “shipper”, of course, keep posting your criticism, maybe stand up for “shippers” who are being dogpiled over genuine criticism, don’t let people say This Is All Proof Of How You Can’t Have Queer Content Because Queers Are Crazy.

and be nice to mike costa.

#i feel a lot better actually #it sure took a lot of words to achieve that

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kmp78 · 5 years

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DISCLAIMER AND RULES

These are the UPDATED directions/guidelines for all who want to participate/contribute to this blog. Our topics of conversation revolve mostly around 30 Seconds to Mars/the Leto Bros, but we have been known to also discuss various other current events around the world.

By reading, and especially by contributing, on what goes on around this blog, you are willingly agreeing with all guidelines and directions I have mentioned below - no exceptions.

I am willing to give a space to those who wish to discuss Mars (or other topics), and I am washing my hands from any and all fuckery that may ensue from other people´s opinions.

Also worth mentioning: I am fully aware that some people who publicly and very vocally denounce any interest in either this blog or Mars gossip lurk around this blog and then spread shit elsewhere on the internet.

By doing that, you are essentially outing yourself as a quiet kmp78 admirer, so to speak.

Or a fangirl, if that suits better. 🤗

Alright then... READ.

1. This blog is laced with sarcasm, jokes, stupid and often very dark humor and PERSONAL OPINIONS - both mine and the people who participate in our conversations. This is not CNN, BBC or even Fox News - this is a personal blog run by a (sort of) fan. Not someone with inside information, and not someone whose opinions and views should be taken too seriously, and definitely not as gospel. I have no direct access to anyone in the Mars organization, and I do not work for them.

2. Nor do I work for YOU. This may be a blog which is mainly used for discussions about all things Mars and all opinions and topics are welcome, but the only one in charge is ME. I decide if a message gets published, if a message gets edited, if a message gets deleted - and if the sender gets blocked.

And not that it really needs to be said, but here goes anyway: I do not work for any Leto troll either.

3. And speaking of blocking:

those who send threats or offensive messages will be blocked, as will anyone who I deem block-worthy. Rest assured, I never block anyone without a reason, so if you should discover that you have been blocked, that means I had a reason. I may or may not inform publicly when a person has been blocked, depends on my mood.

4. Everyone who sends messages is responsible for their own words - I do not accept any blame for other people´s opinions. Misunderstandings by accident or on purpose are not my headache. If I suspect a message will potentially cause unnecessary problems or annoyance for me, I will not post it (or will edit it), and I don´t owe anyone any explanations as to why I´m not posting it. I may explain, or not - that´s up for me to decide.

In any case, as I said: I will not take responsibility for anyone else´s words other than mine, and screaming at me over here or elsewhere online regarding comments someone else made and I posted...

Well, that´s just infantile. 🙄

5. All opinions are welcome, positive AND negative. A positive opinion does not automatically make you a sheep, and a negative opinion does not automatically make you a hater.

Readers to this blog should be adult enough to handle both sides.

6. Calling women sluts or whores is not ok here.

You also need to be able to tell the difference between calling a woman a whore and calling a Leto a whore. If you can´t understand the difference, then get out immediately.

SPECIAL CLAUSE:

the term “YACHT GIRL” when used in connection with an actually legit model who YOU ARE JEALOUS OF BECAUSE SHE GETS TO BONE A MAN YOUR FLABBY LOINS BURN FOR, actually is the equivalent of you calling her a whore, so kindly DO NOT.

Use whatever brain cells your parents genes bestowed upon you and make them at least somewhat proud. That should hopefully partially make up for the disappointment they most probably are already feeling knowing you actually read and participate in this shit.

7. What is also not ok is accusing people of crimes, calling them psychopaths, or threatening others with physical violence etc. - not even sarcastically or as jokes.

Think of it this way:

when typing your message, if at any point you think that what you are writing might come across differently or more seriously to the person reading it than to you while writing it - then do not write it. Any innuendo about people´s potential “social diseases” is not welcome either, and neither are accusations of “obsessions” and people “stalking” the men this blog is focused on. Be VERY careful when using these terms.

YOU are responsible for your own words. I cannot stress that enough.📣

8. We use a lot of initials and nicknames in our conversations - for a reason.

Do not use people´s real names in messages.

If you do not know who a particular person is, please come ask via chat (directions on how to use the chat feature can be found here). I may or may not blur out a name in a message if I think it´s necessary.

9. I post a lot of pics, gifs - and most of them are found from Google using various search terms, and sadly have no tags or indications as to who is the owner/maker. I don´t own any of the pics or gifs, or videos for that matter either (except the ones I have made and labeled as my own). If you find something of yours posted and prefer not to have it up or to have your name added as credits, please let me know and I will remove it.

As for links to either newspaper articles, IG accounts, other blogs or the like: you can find credits to the sources by either clicking on the links, or if I have decided to post screen caps, in the pics themselves. Again, I do not write articles or make videos and very, very rarely post anything other than other people´s comments - after all, this is prominently a discussion blog now. Opinions/messages from other people represent THEIR views and thoughts, my views/thoughts can be seen in my answers (in case of submits or multi-part messages, you will find my contributions to the message after this sign: ***).

To make this very clear: we don´t make news here, we discuss them.

10. When sending submits, if you are unsure of others potentially seeing your “ID”, please mention in your message that you want to remain anon and I will post it anon. Also please remember tho that there is no such thing as complete anonymity - so be careful when writing down your thoughts. Censor yourself if necessary - don´t make problems for me or others, or yourself.

11. I use Statcounter on this blog, which means I can see IP addresses from people visiting this site. However I choose to use that information is up to me, so if you are scared shitless of being outed due to your own actions/words, then DO NOT COME HERE.

If I out your IP, then there is a reason for it.

Don´t give me reasons if you want to remain in the shadows.

(And same goes for chat messages btw: don´t pretend to be my friend in private, but then turn your back and stab me in it in public. More often than not I WILL find out, and if I choose to then out your bullshit by posting private messages, THAT´S ALL YOUR OWN DOING, KIDDOS.

Play nice with me and you have nothing to worry about.

Start kicking dirt in my face and...🤷‍♀️

12. If you are addressing your message directly to someone (= other than me), please say so CLEARLY in your message, for example by starting your message with “For anon who said...”, or something along those line. I have had it with misunderstandings and unnecessary messes due to unclear messages! BE SPECIFIC!

13. ONLY write either in English or Finnish. I won´t waste my time on Google Translate, I have enough on my plate as it is and your weirdo mongrel lingos are boring as hell anyway.

14. DO NOT SEND MESSAGES WITH THE SOLE PURPOSE OF STIRRING UP SHIT - OR TO INSULT OTHER COUNTRIES OR NATIONALITIES. That would rank quite high the PATHETIC categories...

15. I won´t post content from so-called private/non-celeb accounts such as Leto trolls (= VK for example IS a celeb so whatever she posts is most deffo getting posted, but anything posted by Lesser´s harem probs won´t be).

16. READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES! READ PREVIOUS MESSAGES!

I´m beyoooooooond bored answering the same questions over and over again, sometimes in the space of just a few hours! The archives and search option are available on my blog for a reason! USE THEM. 😠

17. When sending messages containing info or “receipts” or whatever it may be that you think we should be made aware of, either clearly state WHERE that info can be found and WHO you are talking about. Do not simply send a message a´la “VK can be seen on Monica´s/Richard´s/Beatrice´s IG”. We don´t know who these people are! You may, but we don´t! I do not follow a single model or fashion industry creeper on social media so FIRST NAMES mean fuck all to me. GIVE FULL DETAILS OR SHUT THE FUCK UP.

18. IF I SAY A TOPIC IS OFF-LIMITS, THEN YOU WILL RESPECT THAT.

19. I usually try to post messages in the same order they have been sent - with a few exceptions:

If a situation arises which calls for “immediate attention” (new troll pics or other sudden Mars-related activity, for example), I may leave older messages for later and focus on newer ones first. Also when I am operating on my mobile, I am often unable to post certain messages (videos etc.), so those will be left for later when I am back to an actual computer.

20. More often than not, tumblr fails to deliver messages to my inbox. If you suspect that yours has not been delivered, please send it again. I don´t mind getting duplicates.

21. If I feel that a message offers no relevant or needed content, I won´t post it. For example, a message such as “JL & XX in Japan bang bang” is unnecessary and pointless and not worth posting. I only have 250 allowed posts per day, and on busy days I have to make judgments on what is worthy of posting and what is not. I apologize if I therefore have to skip some messages.

When I run out of allowed posts here, I will let everyone know that I am switching over to use the secondary blog which can be found at @kmp78secondaryblog

(PLEASE NOTE: That blog is ONLY used when we run out of room here, and I never go there unless I have to so please don´t send any messages to that blog unless I inform we have to move there!)

AND FINALLY PLEASE REMEMBER:

THIS IS A FANDOM FOR A BAND. NOT A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH. ACT ACCORDINGLY.

Creating hater accounts dedicated to POSTING PICTURES OF MY BLOODY EYEBALL (that btw actually happened because of course it did! This is the echeLOOOOOON after all! 👍) won´t make me quit this blog, so...

Yeah.

Anyway, for further information, please contact me via private message here, on my IGs, or at [email protected].

Thank you. 🙏

PS: In case you run into accounts/comments made under my tumblr “identity”, or otherwise unauthorized “kmp78″ activity outside of tumblr which you recognize as being linked to this blog in any way (such as my posts being tagged with JL´s tags etc.), please report them immediately, both to the admins of the sites you found these accounts on, and to me directly so I can take appropriate action, thanks.

Any of my personal pics taken from this blog have been taken without permission and I have never and will never give permission to post them anywhere. And when I say I “appropriate action”, I mean just that. If need be, I will be contacting the authorities, like I did when I received public death threats.

Be very aware that my tolerance for that is less than zero - and also be aware that these guidelines and my rules may change whenever I feel the need to change them.

#DEAL ✌️

#updated rules #updated regulations #read and learn #think you can?#i don´t have high hopes #dumbfuckchelon

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mcl-socialites · 7 years

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just facts

I really want to wrap up all this anni stuff or put it away for the time being, but the inbox is piling up with more and more evidence and anons/people who wish to stay anon sharing their experiences with her.

someone has shared her long “woe is me” excuse post already.

she is trying to frame this blog as the bad guy in this situation, which i think is a very bad idea. as we already have plenty of evidence her actions and attitude towards others, and we’ve gotten confirmation that she is mass deleting from people who follow her, as well as mass blocking from those who have openly shared their experiences and thoughts, or have anonymously done so, but their stories are specific enough for their identity to be narrowed down.

also, scrolling through this blog you will see that 1.) prior to anni publicly picking a fight with us, we were as a blog and as followers unanimously shifting this blog’s dynamic from personal gossip to jokes, venting, and game-based confessions. again, she publicly started a fight with [admin milk] and attempted to make it personal, then when called out publicly for her behavior she 1.) tried to threaten us and 2.) attempted to manipulate her own followers via victim complex.

please notice how in her excuse post she claims we have no proof, then does not link to anything. that’s highly suspicious. also please take note that when anyone makes claims ((unrelated to personal one on one experiences/exchanges)) about her i always ask for the evidence to be submitted. You will see this if you go through the annidraws tag on our blog. To those who are sharing your personal stories with her on anon, i would like to extend this invitation to you as well. Please submit any evidence you may have. If you are worried about your identity being open to the public i can assure you that i will automatically block out your personal info or anything that can be traced back to you, unless told otherwise. That being said, I urge you to block anni before doing so because even with your personal info blocked out she will likely remember who you are and that can make you vulnerable to an attack. As stated before, she likely sends anon hate to people calling her out and disagreeing with her herself (not all but most, as evident by the screenshots i posted).

also i notice she tries to claim that there are people out there who hate her so much that they would start lies, and concludes her post by saying that “...if you had felt this on your own, you’d know how much this hurts. And right now, I really wish those people would know, what kind of bullshit they are publishing and how much this can hurt people”.

All I have to say about that is that this an emotional manipulation tactic she is trying on her more naive followers. it’s difficult to believe that a bunch of strangers on the internet all met up in secret to conspire specifically against her and come up with several personal based experiences, and several of the same publicly-know experiences in their own free time for no reward, benefit, or personal gain at all, and that this one person with so many enemies is completely innocent and resolved of her wrongdoings. And she wishes how people would know how it feels? Well, according to what’s been shared, they do. And it’s all thanks to her and her “army”.

As for the photo evidence that is being submitted to us, we are keeping them in a file to be shared on a mass post, so that everything is neatly pulled together and easy for anyone to find.

Again, these people and ourselves have nothing to gain from making up lies about this girl. And where we are wrong, or proved to be wrong we will willingly admit to our mistakes and ignorance and come forward and apologize.

And for anyone worried about this blog or any of the evidence on it going away due to her threatening to report us; it’s a useless cause.

Callout blogs/posts/websites are a regular occurrence on tumblr and all over the internet, and in order for it to be libel or defamation the things shared here would have to be 1.) Proved untrue and 2.) The source of the info. Which we are not. And in order for it to be be cyber bullying worthy of being controlled by any larger power (such as staff, etc) her life would have to be threatened, or her personal well-being in danger, which it clearly is not. Personal opinions on another person may count as gossip, however this cannot be stopped by the law.

To her claim of being “hacked” about the bitch-anons my final word is this:

she is completely lying. She claims she reported the person, but doesn’t know who it is. Then how did she report the person? To report a person you’d have to have some sort of shareable information of them to find them. To report a general hacker to tumblr’s staff... well good fucking luck honestly. you can tell tumblr that your account was hacked and although they have no policy or guideline for this specifically, i’m willing to bet that’d they’d merely encourage you to step up your password security and not to click any suspicious links in an email, just as any other website would. And for those with little to no knowledge on how hacking works here’s an easily digestible break down (coming from a former hacker)

1.) Personal hacking. A hacker is a person, and retains your account information somehow- it’s more than likely they’d have to have at least a minor personal relationship to you (although this isn’t entirely necessary) as well as a drive to hack into your account. Someone would have to be skilled enough to break into someone’s personal account (so in anni’s case- we’re talking about someone who either doesn’t know her at all but is a complete cyber genius who managed to get her private info just so they could send the word “bitch” to a few people- and mind that besides at least one person, they still opted to keep her identity anonymous. okay, lol sure that sounds believable- OR someone that knew her personally and was close enough to her to know her password- but again she “doesn’t know who it is” hmm. smells fishy.) Edit: Now mind that anon messages can be sent WITHOUT a tumblr account. I mean log out of your tumblr and go onto someone’s account who has anon on and send a message if you don’t believe me. So again- why would someone so skilled do something so stupid and pointless and time consuming??

2.) The alternative is a bot hacker. A bot hacker, which is created by a human- technology does nothing without command keep in mind, is normally a virus obtained by clicking on a suspicious link. Remember a few months ago how everyone was saying they were getting messages from their mutuals to send them bitcoin? Or those random non-descript blogs that ask people to review “their new game” or some other nonsense (typically ask for a donation as well) and have a link? Those are bots. The bots’ goal is 99% of the time to 1- ask for money or steal personal information which could lead to stealing money and 2- infiltrate more accounts to keep spreading the virus. Bots although they follow an algorithm and may vary the words used, always expedite their actions the exact same way every time- aka always through a pm, always through fanmail, etc but never through anon- there’s no benefit, and no info shared by the answerer can be sent back through the anon and to the hacker.

So, in conclusion, she absolutely did send those anons (and accidental non-anons) calling people a bitch. It’s a fine example of her poor temper and inability to control her outbursts and impulse toxic behavior.

please keep in mind that i am posting this without reviewing my grammar and spelling. and thank you to all the people who have been brave enough to confess their experiences and submit evidence.

-admin milk

#my candy love #annidraws #annicent #loonylein #admin milk #admin speaks #long post #mcl burnbook

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rhysand-vs-fenrys · 7 years

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A PSA on Online Scams and Creeps (Please Read)

I know this isn’t typically what you all see from me, but lately I’ve gotten a lot of messages from various scam tumblrs, a handful of e-mails, and even a few phone calls. Others have been reporting the same uptick in scammers, and so I wanted to do a PSA for those of you who might find yourselves vulnerable.

Scams do not just target the old and elderly, I personally know people who fell prey to scammers who are teenagers or in their early 20s, and every personal story I share in this post is from someone within that age range.

In this post I’m going to describe some of the scams I’ve seen, and then later on I have a message for anyone who has been the victim of one of these scams.

There is no judgement against anyone who has been duped, if it comes across that way I wholeheartedly apologize. The purpose of this post is to identify some common scams and give some advice on how to handle them if you’ve been caught in a trap. Victim shaming is not my intention.

The Scams:

Hey, I’m a celebrity you love and I’m DM’ing you to tell you _______.

This is like a daily occurrence in some fandoms (Sebastian Stan fandom gets it 8 times a day and that’s why I’m tagging that fandom on this). It presents itself like this: You get a DM on twitter or IG from an account with a similar name to the URL of your favorite celebrity. They tell you they’ve seen your posts in their defense, they’ve gotten your messages, or they saw your icon after noticing you in the comments and fell in love. The first messages probably seem chaste- they’re just opening the door for a conversation and will gradually push it from there.

The important thing to know about these is that they are FAKE, but they’re also good at what they do. They’ll back down if you start to pull back, they’ll reassure you, they might even say��“I know it sounds like a scam but I couldn’t send this from my real account because ______”.

No matter what reason they give::: It. Isn’t. Real.

It’s a lovely thought- that your favorite celebrity fell in love with you via IG or twitter. That you moved them so much with your care and honest defense of their honor that they’ve fallen for you in some kind of fairytale romance- but it isn’t real. This scam segues into asking for your address or asking for pictures or money- none of which you should be giving away online to anyone, no matter what. If they really want to contact you, tell them to do it from their verified account, no matter what their excuses are, or they can contact you through official channels.

A friend of mine in high school legitimately believed she was in an online and snail-mail based relationship with voice actor Vic Mignogna, and whatever guy it really was started by sending her little things based on the shows that actor worked on- little fangear trinkets. Over MONTHS it segued into him asking her to send him stuff- like “send me $15 and I’ll hook you up with this little exclusive thing”, or “hey, can I get a picture of you in that skimpy tee I sent”. Luckily she wised up to what was going on (after she told some of us and we told her if she didn’t sound the alarm we would) and handed that e-mail address and the address she’d sent cash to over to the police.

Hi, I’m a follower or other user or this messaging service who wants to talk to you and see where things go...

Skype is the absolute WORST for this scam, but I have personally dealt with this one though even just tumblr. Sometimes it’s a scammer, sometimes it’s just a creeper, either way, it’s dangerous.

My experience was with two followers who I’d chat with normally and they seemed fine, then they started getting more and more out there with their messages. One would ask me for pictures of me in a swimsuit, the other KEPT making comments like “I’m going out with friends tonight, I wish you were with us...” and ignored me repeatedly saying those kinds of comments made me uncomfortable (Flirting with an online person just feels skeevy to me).

I blocked both, and that’s really the best thing you can do. Don’t forget- scammers or pervs will spend weeks if not months if they think their efforts can end in a pay day.

It’s called “catfishing” (though that term mostly refers to when the scammers target men). You can google it for a plethora of examples of various tricks and traps used.

Skype is dangerous particularly because it deals with your webcam. You might see a legit person on your screen, but don’t let that trick you into trusting them. NEVER send an online person something- loaning money via paypal can end with your account hacked, sending stuff IRL is just paying into their hands directly, and things like nude pictures/videos??? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!!!! Just because you can see them on your screen doesn’t mean you can trust them.

A Note About Webcam Hacks//Videos

A lot of scams are scams because they start innocently. A relationship building via some messaging service (this one happened through an early version of skype to someone close to me) leads to... well... you know. You flash a bit of skin, maybe some cleavage, maybe you talk in a swimsuit top or bra, then maybe it slowly escalates and you’re covered by a blanket but you’re encouraged to masturbate while they watch your face or engage in some form of cybersex.

It is absurdly easy to record what is on the screen of your computer. In most Macs, the program is even available as an app to record your screen and/or skype calls specifically. Hell, I’ve used that same program on my PC when working on projects for language classes in school.

I talk in a moment about what to do if you’ve been scammed via an inappropriate video or pictures, but know that cyber-sex is DANGEROUS because of how easy it is to blackmail someone with a screenshot or video.

There is good news if you’re facing that and I will get into that later, but I wanted to post this here along with that previous story.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU’VE BEEN CAUGHT IN A TRAP

****FIRST OFF::: SAVE ANY AND ALL MESSAGES ON AN EXTERNAL DRIVE, FLASH DRIVE, E-MAIL SCREENSHOTS TO YOURSELF, AND/OR SAVE THEM TO A CLOUD SITE, THIS IS EVIDENCE.

***** SECOND OFF::: WITH ALL THAT INFO SAVED- INCLUDING THE SCAMMER’S PROFILE INFORMATION- CALL THE POLICE. SAVING THE EVIDENCE IS IMPORTANT, BUT CALLING THE POLICE IS NON-NEGOTIABLE. THAT IS THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IF YOU ARE BEING SCAMMED.

If you live in the United States, do not be alarmed if you call the police and they mention the FBI It sounds intimidating, but the FBI handles crimes that cross state boundaries (where there are questions of jurisdiction) and international issues. Because of that mandate, cyber crimes automatically fall under their command, since they can more easily investigate.

ALSO-- DO NOT TELL THE PERSON SCAMMING YOU THAT YOU ARE CALLING THE POLICE. DO NOT THREATEN THEM, DO NOT SAY OR DO ANYTHING BUT CALL THE POLICE.

Once you have contacted the police, report that person’s profile/username to the website or app you met them through. Every single site has a way to report scammers. Take advantage.

The Bad News:

If you’ve been scammed out of money via paypal or you were tricked into sending someone money for any purpose (to help with their “bills” or even straight-up blackmail money):: You’re not seeing that money ever again, more likely than not.

If you’re being blackmailed or scammed by someone you know, then yes- you might be able to take them to court and get that money back... But most scammers online aren’t caught.

There’s just not enough manpower in law enforcement or cooperation between state or national governments for any kind of significant prosecution unless they break more laws than lying online or blackmail. Now, if there is a sexual component to this, that changes how strongly they’ll focus on the case, but you’re still not likely to see the money again.

The Good News

No matter what threats are made against you, no matter what the person scamming you may say--- most scammers do not follow through with their blackmail threats.

Even if they send you screen shots to prove they have whatever they are blackmailing you with (usually blackmail has a sexual component, but not always), even if they sound super serious, most do not follow through.

The fact of the matter is that a lot of scammers do this as their way of making money. They can’t be bothered to follow through with the threats, because it invites more trouble than it’s worth. Remember when I said a lot of scammers aren’t caught because countries can’t be bothered with blackmail and making false statements online? Well that goes out the window as soon as they actually follow through. The charges become more serious, especially if they release any videos or pictures they have of you.

I’ve got to put it in here to be super clear- some may follow through. When I say most scammers don’t follow through I mean that in the handful of cases I have seen of this IRL with friends or even family, the threats were baseless. They never followed through no matter how far they went with the threats- threats that included fabricating screenshots that “show” them e-mailing the file or video to mutual contacts or again doctored images that make it look like they’ve created a profile in your name.

I worked on a documentary about people being scammed, and while that mostly focused on the elderly, we saw plenty of cases where it happened to a teen or young adult. I don’t know of a single case- of the dozen or so I heard- where the person trying to blackmail the victim ever actually did what they said they would. In looking up scams online you see hundreds of stories of people calling the scammer’s bluff and nothing ever escalates.

Again, I’m not saying it never happens, I’m saying that in my experience, the odds are massively in your favor.

If someone *does* follow through with their blackmail threats though---

The Good News

Compromising pictures and media are the most common way scammers catch you in their traps and extort you for money. They threaten to post the videos/pictures if you don’t put up however much they’re demanding.

THE LAW IS ON YOUR SIDE.

Even just in the last MONTH, countries all around the world (including the US and many states individually) have been passing stricter and stricter laws against what is known as “revenge porn”. What ‘revenge porn’ means is that it does not matter if you were consenting to appear on webcam with someone and have cybersex- it doesn’t matter if you willingly recorded it- if the video or any pictures are posted online without your express consent and permission, the person who posted it can be arrested and the website the video is on can be sued.

Because of these stricter laws protecting people from having their privacy violated so wholly, porn websites are getting better about making it easy to report revenge porn and they take it down DAMN FAST. Depending on where you are, a website can be sued for EACH VIEW the video got before it was taken down, adding an extra layer of incentive for them to get it down FAST.

If someone posts ANYTHING without your consent, your first call is to the police to file a police report (in most states this can be done over the phone and you might have to go in at a later time to actually sign the papers). The second thing you do is report that video and contact the website it was posted to. Again, take a screenshot that shows the URL of the site and, if you can, the username of the person posting it. Then take another screen shot of that person’s profile page on the website.

The Bad News

The bad side of this is that yes, people will see it. It might be just one, it might be a much higher number before it’s caught and taken down. The odds are that no one you know will see it unless they’re specifically sent it by the person attacking you.

It’s a horrible situation to be in, and knowing that the law is on your side doesn’t change the embarrassment you feel or the shame of being tricked, but know that you’re the victim. Maybe you made a bad call, trusted the wrong person, but you aren’t the bad guy in this story. The person who is attacking you is the one to blame.

Call the police, I can’t stress that enough. Call the police because they see this happening and they’re police officers because they want to help people and because they want to make things safer. Everything you feel- every last ounce of stress and pain- by calling the police you have the power to maybe stop someone else from feeling that.

It’s a sad fact of the world we live in that people online need to be treated like a computer virus. Don’t trust easily, don’t trust wholly, and don’t take anything at face-value alone.

Also- if someone wants your bank account number for any reason, asks you to send them money for any reason, or even randomly one day sends you a link they want you to blindly follow, BLOCK their ass and spare yourself the headache.

#psa #scams #scammers #tumblr #skype #twitter #instagram #non fandom #sebastian stan #tagging that fandom because they have a serious issue with it

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vixen-vangogh · 7 years

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polyvore was being a pain in the ass no matter how many words i tried to censor so here’s the life update i meant to put in that set

- have been living in a somewhat stable housing environment for almost a year and four-ish months now which is WILD and a huge record break for me.

- kind of have a partner? we're def QPPs and have been nomadic vagabond companions since like 2015 and have been sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, making life plans together hardcore since then. when i try to explain our relationship to others i explain that we are like Bert and Ernie from sesame street. it's not romantic but it's definitely a very serious thing and there is nothing i could forsee that would face our future that would not be faced together as companions. i was kind of chatting with a buddy the other day who was asking abt stuff and i was mentioning how an aphobe asked, 'how is this different from a best friendship, why do you need to call it a queerplatonic relationship?' and my instinct was to be all, 'well idk i mean i think most best friends don't stick their tongues in each others mouths' but like that said, some best friends do that and its totally legit but the main difference is we call it this because it is more accurate to the intricacies of our relationship.

a best friendship implies different things and a QPR is what we have been calling ourselves for some time.

- have come across the term alterous attraction many many moons ago and have concluded that more or less, this has been the basis for all the experiences of 'attraction' i have thought i felt in other categories. turns out i just love being pro/miscuous and cuddly and affectionate with people and it doesn't necessarily have to have any of the other attractions present. it's just an expression of my alterous attraction. and idk it just seems to make way more sense. someone said it was a commonplace for pre-questioning lesbians to make up to themselves crushes on boys with calculations involved about why this person is attractive.

i think maybe i do experience other forms of attraction but they're seldom enough that it's more anecdotal. and i'm going to call them crushes anyway bc it doesn't matter what i say or do - people are going to be confused by me and who i am and i shouldn't have to sacrifice the nuances involved in who i am and how i live my life to try and get smaller minds to understand it.

and nobody has to understand either. i don't even understand. that's heckin ok bro

- i've been on them 'ro/ids (testosterone) on and off for three months in spring/summer 2016 (androderm) and then the injections for some amount of time this year and there's been a lot of body changes. but mainly i'm looking at nu/des of other people on hormones and realizing like... what if I'm actually inters/ex? it makes no sense for my di/ck to be bigger than people a year on hormones in half the time, does it? like what's up there? and my body is signif hairier in a way that is noticeable to me and my QPP.

last week when I got the inje/ctio/n the nurse (who is a really nice lady? like smiley very friendly maternal type) asked me "how did you know?" without other context or anything.

I didn't really know how to begin because honestly no one had ever asked me that before and it's the one question I needed somebody else to answer back when I was like, 15/recently 16 and needed help finding myself. I wished future me could visit past me and tell me like, "hey jsyk this is what you concluded, here's the answers, and here's all the stuff I've realized about our past experiences that were actually Signs that you're #genderqueer"

and I think, another thing, I wish I could have told the past me, that the laws were going to rapidly change in my lifetime, and also to avoid any cis person who suggests therapy "for hormone starts" because that's what led me to like, 2 years of rather unhelpful talk therapy that turned into lowkey conversion therapy.

No one should ever make you write a sob story about your past before they allow you the autonomy to make decisions about your body.

I gave a little backstory of timeline and told her how my mom kept saying things like, "why are you so offended at the idea of being a woman?" etc and how we don't speak anymore, how I came out in 2011 and every day for the longest time I had to explain to other trans people who the heck I was. how my nonbinaryness was seen more as a delusion despite the fact that I found the wikipedia pages and message boards and I knew there were other people like me out there. I didn't know of another #nonbinary person until 2013 and even then I only met them in passing at a panel they hosted. (we ended up roommates for a bit around 2016 but that's another story)

I stopped having to give #genderqueer 101s to the LGBT+ community around 2014.

And I feel like after that Laverne Cox paved a lot of way for us, and Facebook started putting other genders on there (which I'd signed petitions for years before and considered to be a hoop dream)

and there's been corrective r/a/pe I've gone through and so many tears I've cried and sui/cide attempted and hospital visits

and things are definitely still horrific and I can never afford groceries. I don't eat enough to sustain myself and live on welfare and am too medicated and disabled to work and have tachycardia and PTSD and other complications of my own forced resilience

but I'm on testosterone or whatever and I look at the changes that have gone on and I know that I was a part of that

but I'm never going to get credit for it and it pains me how much I'm suffering because I started advocating earlier than the majority of trans people out today.

if I had come out to my mom years later, would we be speaking?

it doesn't ultimately matter, because if we kept speaking I still would have ended up d/ead. coming out and having her react like that, topped with her steal/ing from me when I was homeless, years of sui/cide baiting, physical + emotional + etc a/buse my whole life, it's miraculous I ever made it out alive

it's so painful but I just have never had the privilege of choice.

- I've been thinking to go back to school maybe and that I need to actually go at it full force with passion because I think I have gotten way too down on myself for the results that have come from my own halfa/ssery of it all. And my own procrastination etc.

I wish I had access to medical care as a child or counselling or something more than I ever did have because maybe I would have excelled in school instead of suffered to try and keep my head above water. I mean, I graduated honours (equivalent).

there's too much about my life to be angsty about.

- also idk if i mentioned this but i got ar/rested for protecting indigenous folks at a thing and it was in the news and im not going to talk much more on it bc of privacy but i'm happy to dig up the video of the pol/ice dragging me away and the crowd shouting (and gendering me right ;u;) "LET THEM GO, LET THEM GO" and i was a pathetic mess thru the whole thing and just had the wrong emotions the whole time and like 3+ reporters tried to get a hold of me for interview but I forwarded them to the indigenous leaders of the ceremony instead

we prayed inside the arre/st tent and put down tobacc/o and held ceremony and the c/ops were horrible and took so much personal offence to everything we were and every reality that happened that they wanted to deny. they banned us from the public land we were arrested on and it was horrible.

it was in the news and justin tr*deau showed up for a photo op and the organizers weren't allowed in their own tipi. he wasn't invited.

those with the land claim to the area made an official statement welcoming us and condemning the go/vernme/nt for arrestin/g us.

nothing was ever done about that bit other than them releasing us and i went to the hospital the next day to get my wrist checked because i couldn't really use it and the handcuf/f bruises and the bruise on my knee was massive. it's been two months and it's only now faded.

twitter blocked the image of us in the a/rrest tent holding hands in prayer with the hand/cuffs on our wrists. they said it contained "sensitive content"

tumblr did the same, calling it "NSFW" (weird bc literally photographs of my actual na/ked body with links to where u can buy videos of me jerkin is not labelled NS/FW automatically lol?????)

i asked tumblr to review that and they still labelled it as such.

it's just so blatantly a genuine broach of free speech and freedom of religion. it was a crimi/nalized religious ceremony and i got between the co/ps and a woman praying.

- i saw Against Me! in march and the mosh pit was extreme and I fell down at some point and like seven people pulled me up and that and the getting arre/sted thing has really hecked up my knees ! i feel like they're mostly healed since but i've not even been kneeling on my mattress for even a second to make sure of this. otherwise it's just been sudden pain for months but as i said, i think they're a lot better now.

- i came forward abt a pr/edatory ex and a few others of their victims came to me to say that they had gone through the same and that they were even more pre/datory than had been with me. i lost quite a lot of friends in the matter bc what i accused them of was extremely serious and came across as vicious on my part.

i'm going to take it as alright though, because i know that i've put what i said out there, and if they have read it at all, they can at least have these ideas in their mind going forward and take precautions. this ex was confronted publically and directly on social media about it and there were several witnesses and screenshots i had to things they did and said. i'm hoping that serves as some kind of warning for them, about their actions that they have confessed to with several people, and how these things will come back for them. that they cannot evade accountability, that i am a force of nature and if you wrong me or do a wrong in my witness with no remorse on your part or apology, i'm not going to let you live it down.

i care and i am tired of hearing horrible stories about them from others. others who came to me saying that i had been painted as an abus/er. because i know ! people see me standing up for myself as threatening all the time. they worry they aren't allowed to make mistakes around me.

no matter how many times i say it or prove it, there's always those people who are too cowardly to admit when they do make mistakes and who go to great lengths to protect their pride and entitlement.

i know we are all growing. i seek environments of mutual support and growth. i am now in a phase of life where i am not giving the time to people who have no interest in these environments. anyone can be my friend, if they are ready for it. but i don't owe it to anybody and anything wrong i have done i am at a point where i feel like i am in touch with my own humility.

and if someone tries to milk it because they think my vulnerability isn't also strength and something that comes with at least some ferocity... well, that's not my problem.

- my rabbit Snicklefritz is doing fine. he's shedding like the dickens this season and mischievous as usual but hopefully one day I can afford to make him an enclosure again and I can let him out only when I can keep track of him.

he's ruined a lot of sketchbooks and a lapdesk my QPP got me for the winter holidays that we are both heartbroken about.

- I am trying to become less attached to material belongings and it has helped me a lot when it comes to coping with all the sentimental items left with my mother or in the various times I've been homeless or left exes etc over the years.

My memories are in my heart and not something that needs to be placed externally, in an item.

Have also trying to go zero waste (like, becoming someone who produces no garbage, just recycling and compost) and it's really been noticeable all these small differences. I buy way more bananas, lettuce, etc. And I've been making bread and spaghetti and whatnot and having windowsill gardens.

- I'm not cured of anything or whatever and I'm angsty 24/7 and broke as heckaroo but there's enough of The Little Things In Life (gardening, youtube videos, kisses, etc) to help me get by in the meantime.

- three days ago a friend (who I consider(ed) chosen family) I had purposefully cut out of my life a year ago showed up on my doorstep to tell me I was right about everything and to apologize for all the wrongs. That they reread conversations we had around then and that they have grown and grown into a better place. They were 18 then and 19 now. We were from the same hometown and they're still there but moving to my city in December. I missed them so much and they stayed with me a few days. I feel a bigger sense of home in this city knowing they're going to live here soon too.

- I've been Really Intensely looking thru my DNA and geneology stuff since last winter. For some reason Indian (like, South Asia) shows up in my DNA and some southern Europe/Northern Africa/Middle East kind of region. My father was adopted via a stepdad and I figure this comes from his bio dad. Or maybe it doesn't, I don't really know. My maternal haplotype is supposed to be one that's generally found in African populations which throws that whole theory. My mom and me also had to use hair picks (afro picks) when I was growing up because our hair was so naturally thick and the waves really tangled up. Every time we went to get my hair cut in that white rural town the hairdressers would comment how they'd never seen such thick hair before etc. I'm still struggling greatly to find answers because everybody's last name is phoenetically weird except for my dad's mom's line which has an extremely Cornwall last name and anyone with that name is definitely part of that family.

Doing research to find what I was told growing up (that I was Kanien'keha:ka via my maternal grandmother's grandmother) has been very difficult because I'm not sure which grandmother of hers it was, and one of them seemed to remarry several times and I cannot be sure of any of the surnames being a maiden name. It's also really hard to know what the spelling was supposed to be because it was written phoenetically. But I think that one's likely English anyway. The other one I haven't reached yet but my grandmother's father's father seemed to be from a Metis community outside a reserve where I remember being told we had ancestors. It seems we're descendants of some really famous anglo Metis folk. I've not figured out the specific links to lock the names all into place properly in my family tree but it's the surname and the small community that are an exact match and on the message boards.

It's a lot to think about. I've been struggling with my racial identity for a long time and regardless of nuances and ethnic identity I feel like I'm just doing this research to seem special or more interesting or to branch out my activism. DNA is not ever going to tell me who my ancestors were, just the locations a small handful of random specific ancestors lived. Family trees are going to help, but they're not going to help me too much as someone who doesn't actually have blood family I'm in contact with really.

I might see if I can get in touch with an older cousin I have on Pinterest because she seemed to be the only one (besides my younger cousin) who really ever sent me vaguely kind gestures after I came out. She was the only one who seemed to be supportive when I did my grandma's eulogy. (Aside from my sibling who went up with me. But I don't speak to my sibling for other reasons.)

I have a paternal cousin as well but we're more half-cousins as my dad's mom had a few different men in her life and I don't actually know if he does have full bio-siblings. I don't really know if it's worth it to reach out to her because with all the technicalities and separations and adoptions and half-relatives I don't know whether I can ask her to ask around, or if I can just ask her, or what.

Anyway whatever it's just easiest to explain my ethnicity as being Metis because talking with others and stuff it seems like maybe this is the best way to label myself, to explain my complicated history and acknowledge that my blood ties are not what makes me me, but rather my ethnic ties. I have traditions and beliefs and ancestors I'm reconnecting with and trying to find.

Not all my ancestors were great people. But it is interesting as heck to learn about them. (Especially seeing pictures and some of the weirder resemblances from like, 5th great grandparents.)

Also one of my greats of grandparents crossed the US-Canada border several times in his life and near the end of them the border agent wrote "seems odd" on the thing and I haven't found any explanation for why he was crossing the border either lol which is pretty dang interesting imo.

- anyway idk I think I'm good ?? have been getting a lot of new interests and hobbies lately which feels good, feels right

i'm getting muscles because of them hormones and probably eating healthier or whatever and drinking more water and just livin life as best i can

could use some more dollars however but what can u do when welfare doesn't go up to match minimum costs of living haha :)

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