#i wonder what you think of butch/femme couples lmao

[abstractlesbian]

2, 20, 25

2. Album of the year

Omnium Gatherum by King Gizzard and The Lizard Wizard

Oh my god I love this fucking album so much . Literally got me thru grief induced mental break april-june and I still listen to it all the time. I love how much variety this band has esp on this album. Magenta Mountain is everything to me. And persistence and sadies sorceress and candles are so catchy. And Gaia and predwtor x r fun when Im in the mood for them

Runner up is probably The Family by Brockhampton literally listened to that on loop for a week when it dropped while I had covid the songs are short and transition into each other and I can't listen to one song without listening to the whole albhn

20. What's something you learned this year

I'm not bad at healing from depression I just had the wrong diagnosis and shitty medical advice lmao

Dbt + a good therapist has done wonders and I don't think I would've gotten thru this year from hell if I didn't finally start getting mental health treatment that actually fucking did anything

25. Did you create any characters

Lmao so many. Literally whenever I'm upset and need to distract myself I make 5 new guys (gender neutral)

Uhhhh I guess ones i'd be comfortable sharing are a butch/femme couple in a star trek setting (not star trek fanfic, just a similar ship crew concept). I haven't named them yet BC that's usually the last step in oc creation for me

[alienpupy]

someone rbd my t4t gay post w/ a joke abt "spicy straight" and like. no fuck you actually

[femmesandhoney]

I'm a writer who's working on a YA story that focuses on an all-girls magical academy and I wanted to add a couple that consists of a bisexual girl and a lesbian. I'm bisexual so I know the kind of bisexual representation I would've wanted as a teen but I was wondering if you and other lesbians would be willing to share what you would've wanted to see in your media as a teenager. I'd also love to hear from other bisexual girls because I know experience as a bisexual girl is different from other bisexual girls and I want my story to resonate with them, too.

Hello! Love seeing fellow writers. I will be speaking as a lesbian who isn't really traditionally butch or femme. I lean more femme sometimes, but I'm pretty lax in terms of much I fit either of those lesbian identities. So yeah lol. I'm sure butches would love more rep. I know many women who are "like" me in terms of fashion in media, such as miss Leah Rilke who I was talking about a few posts about (though she's actually bisexual rep lmao for the bi girlies out there). But like in terms of personality and fashion identity, I as a lesbian am similar to that and so I do see that aspect of myself more often than what butch lesbians see for example. So if any butches or masc lesbians especially want to reblog or comment what they want from their rep, please add it for this anon.

In terms of actually relationships or lesbian identity in and of itself, oh my godddd high school was hell sometimes. I was friends with a lot of straight women since I honestly didn't know many lesbians. The only one I did know didn't come out until college, so she actually had a boyfriend for many years in high school. It felt really lonely. I def would have loved to see lesbian rep that showed girls actually doing a lot of traditional high school activities and being supported by their friends, I guess? Cause there was a lot of stuff I def missed out on because of being the only lesbian in my age range that I knew. I'm not really sure what else to say haha, if the character is well-written I'm sure people will relate to them. I'm not a fan of basing an entire character solely around their sexuality or relationship. Who are you characters outside of their sexuality or relationship? Once you get that, then you can begin layering in how their sexuality and lived experiences with it can affect their personality, relationships, etc. I think a great example of this off the top of my head is Shelby from The Wilds. You have this optimistic sweetheart beauty queen. One layer. She's from Texas. Second layer. Her parents are heavily religious. Third layer. She is a lesbian. Now how does this layer interact with all the other layers? Do they cause conflict? Is her family supportive or not? How do people view her based on her first glance traits and how does she think of herself based on everything just said? Shelby's a relatable character because she's all these things at once and you can see how her sexuality affects her life and experiences, but her development is deeper than just realizing she's a lesbian or being in a relationship with Toni for example. It's a lot of self growth, dissonance, fear, and confusion. You can empathize with her because you understand how everything's coming together to form Shelby.

So yeah, I guess start with a foundation and then build around it and under it and over it and eventually you'll create a uniquely complex character. If anything, the basis of growing up a lesbian since it's literally the smallest minority of the LGB community is recognizing how little we meet other lesbians and how lonely it can feel. Constantly hearing women talk about men is literally the most tiring thing. Constantly being viewed as if we're never gonna get into a relationship, date, or marry because we don't express attraction to men (heteronormativity) is something I dealt with and it really hurt me to be viewed as a person that will remain alone forever bc I didn't participate in their het culture. Those are some of their bigger things I dealt with in high school from friends. The panic of not knowing if women are flirting you with is something I stereotypically experience lol. But I'm sure other lesbians would relate to women who are more flirtatious and confident with their sexuality.

This is basically how I view myself. I experienced a lot of formative experiences as a child that made me really internalize my anxiety about being a lesbian because of how the adults around me spoke about it. I think that played a large role in why it took me so long to realize I was a lesbian. I don't view myself necessarily as a lesbian with a bunch of things extending from this like a word cloud lol. I just think it's impacted parts of my life in very complex ways. I want to see two women deeply in love and happy. But i'm also a huge fan of dark media and would love to see lesbians in horror and extremely morally grey or just plain evil at the same time. Like I just want to see all the possible stories that lesbian women can be a part of like anyone else.

[nerdpiggy]

4, 11, 12, 13, 22, 24, 25, 26, 27, 30, 32, 36, and 38?

WOAH BRO

4. Past labels you've used? For a while I wondered if I was aro-spec but I'm fairly certain I don't think I am now. I've tried to put a label on my gender MANY times, with the label I've tried the most being demigender. (and cis. LMAO) But none of the labels I've tried have stuck, except for the general all-encompassing nonbinary

11. Do you like your flags? Fuck yeah all my flags fucking rule. Nonbinary flag? Fucking awesome. Ace flag? Stunning. Lesbian flag(s)? well some look better than others but you have a wide range of choices and a lot of them look damn good!!

12. Favorite flag(s) visually? I actually legitimately really do love my own flags... but other than that, I think the aromantic flag looks metal as fuck, and there are a lot of lesser-known lesbian flags that are just gorgeous

13. Favorite colors? I love pink! And grey/silver/black. and certain blues :3

22. Favorite LGBT+ celebrity and historical figure? I don't.... know that many.... actually wait I thought of one Wendy Carlos. If u dont know her look her up she's so cool

24. Favorite LGBT+ canon character? Fuck it's so hard to choose... I really love Lup! and I also really love Yuu from Bloom into You because she's ME (please watch Bloom into You)

25. Favorite LGBT+ canon fictional couple? hmmm also very hard to think of good ones rn... spinnerella and netossa are pretty cute :3 and carey and killian!! they're prob not my favorites but they're all i can think of right now

26. Some characters you headcanon as LGBT+? Hanazawa Teruki is nonbinary and ace! Catra is nonbinary! Bow is trans and pan and ace! idk there are a lot of others that i can just make up right now! everyone from Revue Starlight is lesbian!! Hinata Shouyou is trans! if literally any character has ever said anything similar to 'i dont really care about love' they're arospec!!! somebody stop me

27. Some LGBT+ pairings you ship? MaHiKaren, Scorfuma, KilluGon, TeruMob, Saimota, a BUNCH of haikyuu ships, aaaa idk a lot

30. A trope you dislike about your identity? I really hate how everyone views 'lesbian' as a really sexual word, and how people think lesbians are like fuckin sex machines built to pleasure straight men through porn or something. Like, lesbians should be allowed to be sexual without being inherently sexualized, you feel me? and also not all lesbians are sexually active.

32. Something you wish ppl understood about your identity? I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT MY GENDER IS..... but i do know I'm not agender and im not masculinely or femininely aligned. Like, my gender exists, it's just not anywhere remotely near the binary or the linear spectrum in between the binary. If you think of the gender spectrum as a color wheel, my gender would be a dark green! i guess? that means nothing

36. Do you align with any gay subcategories (ex butch/femme)? Nope not at all!! The fact that I don't kind of makes me feel left out of the lesbian community at times though... I spent so long trying to figure out which box I fit into when I realized trying to make myself one or the other made me feel the same way as when I tried to fit myself into a binary gender. The labels just aren't for me! I guess I am a 'futch' then lol

38. Do you own pride merch? Yes!! I have some pride hats that a friend knitted for me, and a crocheted bat with ace-colored wings that I got at an expo. I also wear a rainbow colored bracelet and I used to have a black ace ring (but it broke months ago. i need a new one). I also have lesbian and ace flags that I got for my dorm room, but my gf is currently holding on to them because I was too scared to bring them home!

[bisluthq]

I know you’ve said that you can pass as hetty - like you don’t look like what straight people imagine gay people to look like or whatever although I think you also said when you come out it’s a surprise to no one

Idk I’m that anon that got outed at work a few days ago and like it’s done and over with at this point lmao but I work with a gay guy... and he’s like flamboyant and like fits the stereotype and his coming out is so easy like no one expects anything from him and I just am so jealous. And I know it’s not fair and because he fits the stereotype he’s the target of so much more blatant homophobia than I ever will be bc I can pass as het to het people but like. I hate this so much

Like now I have coworkers I’ve worked with for like 3 years asking me “but weren’t you with a guy a year ago” and shit and like “I never thought YOU liked girls” and I mean no ones being a dick but like. And I know I don’t owe them explanations but this is just annoying af you know? I mean I’m sorry I don’t look like a butch lesbian and fit YOUR stereotype. It’s just so weird how narrow people are in what they think a a gay person looks like

It’s so funny tho Bc apparently legit 1/4 of the staff is lgbt tho so I found somewhat of a community here I mean I’m not mad I’m just like ...distraught. Like I always kept this close to my chest bc if was so personal to me and Ive had bad experiences coming out before but like... now people know... that I want to fuck girls. ??? I mean it could 100% be worse but also I hate this lol. I guess some of my coworkers are like offended I kept this from them this long lmao but like it’s none of their business tbh lmfao.

Yeah I mean look if you're femme the limit literally doesn't exist in terms of how many times you'll have to come out. And if you're a femme girl who mostly dates other femmes even when you're like "that's my girlfriend" a lot of people will hear that as platonic lmao. Like the ex I was harassed at the restaurant with is an interesting case study because we faced like the worst instance of homophobia I've ever been subject to but like we were being obnoxious wrt PDA like PROPER obnoxious we were like all over each other when those dudes lost their shit. But like aside from that incident we could like hold hands and go places and like nobody ever batted an eye because we presented as two girl friends. When I dated my ~complex~ longterm messy ex we were kinda more careful because while she isn't butch she's like butcher? Like she is very very athletic and dresses in a kind of androgynous way like KStew vibes idk. Like if we were holding hands we looked like a couple, but the other ex and I could hold hands without like anyone batting an eye. So like there is a lot of privilege in passing hetty idk.

Yes, it's annoying to have to keep coming out, but like at least it's safer.

Like I'm VERY proud to be Jewish, as y'all know, but there've been times I've tucked my Magen David necklace away and like not made a fuss about something that I'm a little uncomfy about - food things or whatever - because I get the sense it's not safe. And like I have that option right, in a way say Hasidic folk don't.

I feel the same way about sexuality. Like I'm VERY proud to be gay, but I also am grateful that there are times I can just keep my mouth shut and stay safe while still mostly being myself.

I think it's good that you're out now, and don't feel bad about taking your time or let them shame you for it. You're wonderful and they don't get to decide when you make those kinds of calls. Sending you love.