#i would say sandy is the exception BUT IM NOT TOTALLY SURE HE IS--

[ninja-knox-ur-sox-off]

Every single character in Monkie Kid thinks that they're the normal guy with the normal life the average Joe the everyman the one sane person amidst this mess who gets thrown into the chaos they have absolutely no connection to the healthy mortal amongst mentally ill gods and every time without fail every single one of them are not only personally connected to it but they are some of the most powerful creatures known to man and twice as mentally ill as the person they squint judgementally at

[saltyslack-toast]

#Knock The Book 2: The Devil All the Time

WELL, I MADE IT TO THE 2nd BOOK REVIEW OF MINE, MEANS THAT I’M A PASSIONATE AND PERSISTENT BITCH, PERIODT. No actually I’m just bored and got really nothing to do, so here I am making judgmental, invalid and uncritical book review just to ease my guilt for doing nothing at home (just so my mom see me working through my laptop).

Okay The Devil All the Time is actually my first English book. The story of how I got this book as a matter of fact is quite irritating and funny at the same time. My uni friend, she saw this book in a modest book bazaar near her hometown. She was reading the title and the word ‘devil’ just remind her of me, she bought it and just gave it straight to me…... I’m sad but like thankful???

It’s a secondhand and hardcover book but I don’t really mind, considering the fact that the quality is still very nice though, except the worn spots stained all over the cover that make the book looks very old. My friend bought this only for RP 25.000, yes dude you’re not misread this shit, it was THAT CHEAP (whoever sell and own this book before me, I really appreciate it). Although if you want to buy the new one, you can get this book for USD 26.95 which converted in rupiah would be RP 407.500, yeah its cost pretty fancy for broke students like us and I don’t know if the book’s supposed to be available in your local bookstore but I think you can find it in worldwide shipping online store like amazon or any other shop perhaps. The book’s cover illustrate a dying white mutt hanging on the ‘log’ and bunch of cross everywhere, the cover is actually make sense when you read the book. It published in 2011 by doubleday in United States of America. The Author is Donald Ray Pollock, and you can find the sum information about his background written on the cover, but based form the book’s cover you can also check his website in donaldraypollock.com but when I checked, I’m not sure if it’s really his website since it just like pest control website (LMAOO I HAD NO IDEA FR). Anyway,

Let’s go breaking down the book!

“… Too much religion could be as bad as too little, maybe even worse, but moderation was just not in her husband’s nature”

The whole story in this book, basically give you portraits regarding the life of lunatics in the time after WWII. Nope, there is no sums up about the events happened in that moment so chill y’all non-historical enthusiast bitches. This book gonna give you a bizarre experience reading it, the first 10 pages of this book was already psychedelic, I assure that shit. Have you watched Games of Thrones series on HBO? It’s chilling right how Ned Stark, the protagonist of the main series died in the first season???? EXACTLY that was the vibes u got after reading the first chapter and get crazier every time u read forward. By the way, this book embodied 7 chapters and 55 sub-chapters, the chapter in odd and even numbers has 2 different main focuses on each characteristic exist, here I sum it up for you:

On the odd numbers chapters (1, 3, and so on), the central story of these chapters is circling among the family of Willard Russel, his Mom Emma and Uncle Earskell and also those 2 insane peeps Roy Laferty and Theodore. Willard Russel used to be a navy army and a bit skeptical dealing with religion issues just like his uncle, but his mom has always been a devoted worshiper. Willard married to the beautiful and kind-hearted women named Charlotte and they was given a son named Arvin Eugene Russel, everything was normal until Charlotte got sick and Willard gone crazy praying to god for his wife’s recovery and poor little Arvin has to suffer the predicament by his own self. Their stories always give me religious-fanaticism-gloomy vibes (is that even make sense??). Don’t even get me started with the life stories of the two brutes-ass man, Roy Laferty and Theodore they were used to be ‘preacher’ in Emma and young Willard’s Church. Nothing I could say further because it’s gonna be a major spoiler for you, but their stories really giving you insights of how frustration and fanaticism allow people to do something beyond their common sense.

“You remember what I told you the other day?” He asked Arvin

“About the boys on the bus?,”

“Well, that’s what I meant, you just got to pick the right time”

On the even numbers chapters (2, 4, and so on), the main tales is pertaining on the journey of Handerson couple, Carl and Sandy. They were like the Bonnie and Clyde but sad and exploitative version in this book. Carl is a ‘photographer’ and sandy working as a waitress in a café called Wooden Spoon (Which the place where Charlotte used to work as a waitress and the place she met Willard for the first time as well). During summertime they got this ‘ritual’ ((but not in a religious way)) where they drive to different states and give a ride to the hitchhikers found on the way, then Carl forcefully offer them to fuck Sandy for free (HIS OWN WIFE) while he took pictures of them fucking and after that Carl kill them and take all the money those hitchhikers got in their pocket (dude I can’t even judge anything). But to be honest, I’m not a fan of these two characters because they were all so ANNOYING to death. And then there is Bodecker Lee who’s a police and also Sandy’s brother, ok that’s it, I’m not gonna give you any spoilers.

“… He went down the street and sat on a bench in a park the rest of the day thinking about killing himself instead. Something broke in him that day. For the first time he could see that his whole life added up to absolutely nothing…”

You might be confused since there are quite a lot of keen characters in this book but there’s a point where all these bitches are relating to each other, so chill y’all impatient gripe-ass. Overall, the flow of the story is undoubtedly interesting for you to keep going throughout the whole story, because every phase gonna make you wondering about next things happened to them. But, the transitions among every chapters is quite uncomfortable for me, because sometimes when the story has reached its climax there is no resolutions coming to solve the problem immediately, and you’re faced to read the new chapter with a whole different setting and characters so it’s kind of ruining the vibes and emotions the book has made me, but again this just my personal preference so please don’t judge (while everything I did right now is judging inaccurately).

“He realized that he would never preach again, but that was all right. He’d never been much good at it anyway. Most people just wanted to hear the cripple play”

However, what I like the most from this book is the deepening of every character exists is so fascinating, even for just the side or supporting character (for god sake I’m sorry idk what to called a character that isn’t the main one), for example a bus driver in Meade, Ohio which Willard talked to when he was on the way home after the war ended, the narration wrapped and portraits the driver’s life perfectly without make us bored, and there’s still a bunch of interesting narration about the life of the side characters in this book that also as odds and intriguing as the main character’s background (jesus, everything happened and everyone in this book is just so strange and peculiar I swear to god). The story finished in a most tragic-beautiful but still gloomy way, even though it’s quite predictable but still a very good closing for me personally. To be noted, on the way to the end of the story, there will be emerge another asshole priest character named Preston Teagardin, ready to shake you up until you finish the book. But still, let’s said this particular ‘last minute character’ has proving that the author is paying so much attention of how the story ended isn’t leaving any 'rush-made' impression (this shit might confused you I’m sorry my English hasn’t got any better *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign* *sorry hand sign*). # hashtag attention to the detail bro.

Holy crap, that’s the first time I’m almost able to cut all the bullshit I intend to bring it up here.

This book is one of my top 5 books that you have to read once in a life time (although I haven’t discover the other four, omg im sorry y’all). Little information for you that the first time I read this book (yeah I read it for quite few times) is when the campaign of presidential election era, which in Indonesia the religious are pretty sentimental issues, some of the people in my country suddenly became those annoying fanatical preachers, man I can’t stand it. And this book is just precisely relating to that condition and I get to know at least a glance of what the heck odds things happened in their minds, since you know fanaticism and stupidity doesn’t hit only on particular group of religions, race, gender or anything, we can all be stupid and brainless (especially me because I basically have no brain). There probably quite many scenes that is pretty disturbing to read (I don’t know if people could be triggered by it???? But I guess so) so yeah a bit warning. Overall, I genuinely recommend this book for you guys because every element in this book is almost perfect, the storylines, bold characters, and the RARE AND STRANGE AND SENSITIVE topic promote by the author in this novel is totally a BOOM. Don’t worry reading this book not going to give you those agnostic and atheist vibes HAHA chill I still consider myself a devoted Muslim tho (hashtag masyaallah ukthi).

By the way before I wrapped it up, I hear that this book will be made into a netflix film. WELL, of course I’m excited because the casts are so amazing, and I love Netflix adaptation and I enjoy watch movies as much as I read books (again, unnecessary information of mine *sorry hand sign*). I found that the release date is postponed from the origin plan in 15th May (which is three days ago from I posted this on my page) due to I don’t know perhaps corona because that bitch has ruined everyone in the world’s schedule, but for real I can’t find the exact information regarding to the updated release date, so while you wait the film to launch, why don’t you just go read the book first? I assure you this one not gonna give you any disappointment.

I think that would be it for this 2nd rubbish book review of mine. Although, I think I made a little progressive from the first one (OR MAYBE NOT???? I’M SORRY Y’ALL) but of course there’s still much deficiency I served. Still, I hope my writing get better in the process of making this whole novel of reviewing book inaccurately. To be honest, I wrote this shit not for getting any engagements or audience but for my own satisfied HAHA. So yeah I’m literally comfortable writing for nothing. But bitch guess what I’m just gonna keep going, until I could professionally writing and make it for a living? Well, amen for that.

Xiao, See you in Advance!

[soychaijaelatte]

Lovelight (part one)| jjh

❥ genre: greek gods!au, fluff, potential angst (if you squint)

❥ pairing: jaehyun/reader

❥ wordcount: 1k (this one is short, but it is more of an intro)

❥ rating: PG-13 

You are off limits to all Olympians, but one golden god does not like being told what to do... 

❥ warnings: none at the moment but potential mature themes in the future

Love was always a sport to him. He drew people in like a magnet. His warm eyes and bright smile were a sight to behold. The way he enveloped his partners in a blanket of pleasure and comfort was as heavenly as ambrosia. After he left them, a feeling of longing always lingered behind. Jaehyun was an excellent lover. He could have anyone he wanted, at any time he wanted.

Except for you. You were off limits.

Your beauty was unmatched by any other mortal and competed with the gods themselves. There were days when various Olympians snuck down to earth to witness your beauty first hand. You were not to be touched though. It was common knowledge among the gods that if one were to claim you, the heavens would erupt into chaos. The only way to avoid catastrophe was to leave you be. The gods had learned not to mess with beautiful humans the hard way after Troy.

You were dangerous and you had no idea, and Jaehyun was in the mood for danger.

Spending time down by the creek was your favorite way to relax and kill time. A cool breeze swept through your hair and offered a bit of relief from the blazing summer sun. You drifted off into thought while tracing various designs in the sandy dirt underneath your hands. You thought about the conversation you had just escaped from that involved your mother pestering you about finding a husband. All of your other friends were married and some even had a couple of children running around in the courtyard. Because of your family’s status of successful merchants in town, it was expected of you to have settled down by now. You didn’t mention your fantasy of finding true love to your mother for risk of your hopes being dismissed. When you had talked about it before, she brushed it off with a sigh.

“My dear, in a perfect world everyone could marry for love, but who’s to say you won’t find it after marriage. Just look at your father and I. Over time we grew to love each other as if the gods themselves brought us together!”

But you didn’t want eventual love. You wanted a love that would make you fall immediately. You wanted a love that would give you a reason to wake up in the mornings. You wanted a love that felt like the tender caress of the summer breeze that tickled your skin. You wanted true love.

You were pulled so deep into your own thought that you didn’t even notice the approaching footsteps not too far down to your right until you heard the distinct splash of someone diving into the water in front of you.

You jumped with a start and snapped your head up to see the source of the noise. This was your special spot that was honestly pretty hard to find. You felt oddly protective of the little creek and you didn’t want to share it with anyone. You saw a head of dark hair that broke the surface of the water. You weren’t expecting the tan, broad shoulders that came into view with the rest of his torso. While he was facing in the opposite direction, seemingly oblivious to your presence, you took a moment to gawk at his toned back. The boy, or man it seemed, pushed his wet hair out of his face and turned towards you. You were stunned into silence and you were pretty sure your jaw was in your lap. This man in front of you was absolutely stunning. You had never seen someone as beautiful as him, male or female.

His honey, brown eyes widened as he took in the figure sitting on the shore of the creek. He was only about ten feet away from you and it was the closest he had ever been. You were more heartbreakingly beautiful up close and even though Jaehyun came here intentionally, he felt himself gasp.

You were the first one to snap out of the staring contest and you shook your head to regain your senses. You tried your hardest to look anywhere but the man’s toned chest and just ended up looking at the ground in embarrassment. The man cleared his throat and spoke in the most soothing voice you had ever heard.

“I apologize, miss. I wasn’t aware that someone was here.”

A total lie Jaehyun thought to himself, but he had to start a conversation somehow. He couldn’t recall ever feeling this flustered, in front of a mortal no less!

“Oh, umm, you are okay!” (y/n) replied. “I was just about to leave anyway!”

Jaehyun felt himself panic a little bit when he saw you start to stand up to leave. Without really thinking, he called out to you.

“Wait!” He shocked himself with how frantic he sounded but at least you stopped brushing off the skirt of your tunic.

“Ummm well, I am new in the area and I was actually trying to find someone who could show me around town a little.”

“So you came to find someone at a creek?” You furrowed your brows but felt your lips lift upwards in a small, teasing smile.

Sensing your jest, Jaehyun regained a little bit more of his confidence.

“Call it fate.” He replied with a charming smirk. Fire danced in his eyes and you felt drawn to him.

“Well then, we would be fools to ignore fate, right?” You responded cheekily. “If we go now, we can make it to town before the market closes for the day.”

The man smiled brightly, accompanied by two prominent dimples. He stepped out of the creek towards you on the bank. You looked into his eyes to avoid outright checking him out.

“Lead the way, miss…” He trailed off.

“(y/n),” you responded, “and you?”

“Jaehyun.” He reached out his hand and you grasped it in formal greeting and a sense of calm washed over you from head to toe.

Little did you know that from that moment on, your life would be changed forever.

author’s note:

heyo! it has been a while since i’ve posted a fic on here (and by a while i mean about two years..... ummm yeah) but i’m back now! i have been thinking up different themes and promts in my mind and i kinda wana get them all out. i really will try to keep this fic updated and possibly post a couple more. if you gathered from the above “warnings” this particular fic might take on more mature themes but i will make sure to let you guys know when that might happen! thanks to all of you who stuck around!!!

- mayling♡

(p.s. i made the banner and im kinda proud of myself even though it looks like it was made by a kindergartener lol)

[teensarebored]

An Oceans Length Part 1

I collapsed into the sand.My shoulders were going to hurt tomorrow. I don't know why, but I was almost looking forward to it. I tried to even take some deep breaths to even my breathing. In…Out… Than again. I looked at my met swim suit. I was going to have to go rinse off all the sand that was clinging to my wet body in a minute. Than I would throw on y cover up and tennis shoes and jog the two miles home. But for now? For now, I  could just rest> Close my eyes and forget the world.

"Umm, Do you mine if we shoot that one more time?" The voice startled me and I opened my eyes only too be blinded by the sun."Ahh!" I Put a hand over them so they could just.."Excuse me?" A tall and lanky guy was standing next to me. In jeans? What kind of idiot where jeans to the beach? Total Rookie mistake.

"Oh yeah, I was just wondering if we could get the part of you coming out of the water from a different angle. Not that the last one was bad, but I really think we can do better." A girl holding a video camera ran up beside him. She had long dark braids with white beads. At least she had the common sense to wear shots to the beach.

"I'm sorry? Were you guys filming me?" I got to my feet."Like with the camera?" "No need to feel sorry. We were just wanting to get another shot thats all, its not your fault. And yes we do the filming with the camera. I understand it is the most common way." The guy put his sun glassed on  of his hair.

I turned to the face palming girl."Is he for real?" The girl sighed,"Unfortunately, He's completely serious." "Wait, do  I know you guys?" I scanned my brain, was this some weird group project I forgot about? I had been out Tuesday for a cold. Maybe I missed some assignment.

"No, Im Rosie." The girl held out her hand.I took it still not sure at what was going on. "We are making a short film." "How Athletes deal with Failure." The guy said motioning to the ocean like he had revealed a great secret of the universe. 

"Than why are you videoing me? " I was starting to get annoyed. I just wanted to have a a nice time at the beach by myself. Yet here I was talking to two strangers who had been filming me with out my knowledge." Not to mention without my permission." 

"We usually get the permission afterwards."Rosie started to explain."This way we get the natural reaction. We only want to capture what people actually do after loosing.''

"And the reason you, is because we heard about the meet  today. So we decide d you would be a perfect candidate. "The guy picked up."We madd a couple of calls, good your address and waited see what you would do." "You guys were stalking me!" Now I went from annoyed to a little bit angry.

"Following," Rosie corrected fanning her face. "Man it's hot out here." "We couldn't risk passing up the opportunity. Your perfect for the short film. Dallas Omega ends her winning streak.The longest one in school history.How does she deal with the devastation of defeat?"his voice had become melodramatic."By swimming till she falls in a heap on the beech, from sheer exhaustion.''

I could feel my hears."Listen I don't know who you too are. Or how you know who I am. But I did not sign up to have my privacy invaded. And don't ever try following me again. So you better leave me alone."

"So is that  a no on re-doing the coming out of the water scene?" Unbelievable. What part of leave me  alone, was how not getting. I

I picked up my backpack and shoes."I'm serious. If you guys try something like this again, I'll call the cops." Would I actually do that? Probably not. But they didn't have to know that. " I turned and sprinted. Sandy, barefoot, and still in my swimsuit, but at least I could get away from whatever the hell that was.

I ran a little ays on the street before turning around. I needed to make sure I wasn't being followed again. Luckily, there was n sign of thee two stalkers. I walked toner by bench to put my shoes and cover up on. I was going to need a good shower to get all this sand out. Today had literally been the worst day of my life.

First getting I wake up to is my mom crying. Now there is nothing wrong with crying. Its normal, everyone does it. Except for my house. We only expresson positivity. Its like an unwritten rule, to only see the bright side. When I got my first C in school, my parents danced around the kitchen, saying "Its higher than an F!" My mom took me out to celebrate when I got my period. If mom burnt dinner( which she often did) we ate it all, saying "its perfect! We love our Pizza well over done!" We were a weird family. But the important part was that we were a family.

Not anymore. The crying this morning gave me a sick feeling. It was a bitter reminder of what today was. May 17th. My mom and dad's wedding anniversary. In past years they had treated the day, as if nothing else in the world mattered. My dad would buy mom a bouquet of red roses. They would  get dressed up in the fanciest clothes. I won help memo pick out her earrings and shoes. Than they would leave me with the neighbors, while they went some expensive Italian restaurant. They never forgot to get a slice of cheese cake to bring home for me.Dad you would say, "Its cheese, which is milk. Milk is good for your bones. So cheesecake therefore is healthy." Those anniversaries seem distant. Not real. It was like they had happened to a different person. It was to perfect, too much like a hallmark movie'"I tied my shoes and picked up my bags again. Mom would still be at work. Which meant that I  could actually go home and just pretend she wasn't a shell of her former life. She could still be the same mom who had danced and sung in my memories.

May 17th, I thought again. The next thin that has gone wrong today was my boyfriend Dylan Sanders. I always get the school way too early before a meet. I was surprised when I saw his car was already there. Dylan was the only person who had came to my meets for me still. I don't even know if mom even registered I still did swimming.

"Someones up early." I said as we walked toward each other in the school's parking lot.

He grinned and smoothed his always perfect brown a hair." Well I had to be, if I was going to get a chance to see you."

" You cant see me, when theme starts?"I teased."Its not like I'm invisible."

"You know what I mean," he chuckled giving me a hug. I think one of the best thing about Dylan are his hugs. He hold you close, but no to close. Tight, but not smothering. And his right hand makes slow circles on my shoulder blade. Its one of those all together perfect thing in life. "So,"He says breaking away."Nervous about today?" "Never. Todays the the last meet of the school year and Im going to crush it!"  I say crossing my arms. 

"Yeah, you are."He steps closer too me. HIs cologne makes my head spin. Its as if I had been transported into a forest full of pine trees.i love the way he smells. Dylan and I had met the first day of Freshman year at Crest high.We has one of those time stands still, moments in the hallway. He took me out the following week. We went to the zoo. It felt like one of cliche ya movies. But I loved it. No we are finishing junior year. Together.

"Dallas, I got you something." He put his duffle bag on the ground and dug out a case. He handed it to me."I'm confuse d is it my birthday or something. "come soon, just open it." In side was a  necklace with a little swimming figurine. I'm not really into jelwrey. But this was from Dylan, so I smiled. "I love it."

"I love you." 

The words may me jump.I looked at him, and his eyes turned darker. I could feel the heat radiating off him. Dylan gently pulled me closer and put his hand behind my neck."Dallas Lyne Omega, I Love you." His lips brushed mine.

Love? MY parents had "loved" each other. Look where that got them. Dads who knows where with a girl, barely older than me. Mom cry constantly, doesn't laugh and barely speaks. Yet they had "loved" each other.My dad had loved my mom and me. And than he left. Thats what love did for my family. 

"You're pretty and funny. And just an amazing person. And I just…love  you. " His voice was a horse whisperer choked with feeling.

  I was feeling something too. Panic!  He was waiting for a reponse.

I couldn't do it. " Dylan, I…have to go. The uh.. meet is starting soon, I need to go warmup." Dis appointment crossed his face. He dropped his arms, and I instantly regretted what I had said."I have to go." 

I walked into Crest highs pool center feeling numb.  I couldn't seem to focus on any thing. Thats why I lost. I had lost the last meet of the school year. Granted, I had come in second in two of my races. But I could have one better. I should have won.  I had let may personal life interfere with my swimming. I had let myself down, the team down, and I guess Dylan to start with.

[letters-iwillnevergiveyou]

New Years Eve Bulls7$*t

Dec. 31 2018

    So you did the unthinkable, the unimaginable. You actually left me on New Years Eve at home by myself. I knew there was a big possibility this would happen. You said you had business to take care of but after I asked you not to leave me alone on New Years you ended up telling me you were staying home because I couldn't go with you to take care of this business. I don't understand you. You always tell me that but then I find out you pick up D.J. and she goes all over with you. So you leave me home alone constantly and take someone else with you, all while telling me you are alone. And you wonder why I can't trust you. You also said you were alone yesterday and couldn't call me. Come to find out that too was a lie. D.J. was with you. You could have called me all along you just didn't.

    Anyway getting off track. Tonight. We go to the post office to send off records I'm selling. My dead husbands records I might add. To help us fund this trip to Belize. You didn't get tracking numbers, or a receipt. I'm totally screwed. All these people are expecting a product and by a certain time. I'm already a month late because of you. You couldn't go back in and get the numbers because they closed. Then you take me to get food. Finally. I told you I was hungry at 12. It was after 6 by this time. Then we go home. You took your apartment key off the ring so I could get inside, telling me you were going to finish hooking up your stereo. I stupidly listened and believed you. After I went inside you took off. The only reason I knew is because I was using your mobile hotspot and when it disconnected I looked outside and you were gone. Now here I am with no phone, my boyfriend ditched me, my car that you have been using while yours has been broke down is now broke down, and I'm fucked again. How can you not see how fucked up this is? I should have taken your car and left you here to sit a couple days with no phone, no transportation and no money. I bet you wouldn't like it. What is wrong with you? How can you treat any human being like this let alone someone you supposedly love? I don't understand. I keep thinking maybe you just went up the street to your buddys house. Maybe you just needed a minute away. Maybe you will make sure to be back before midnight and kiss me, bring in the new year with me, the woman you love and want to do life with. But honestly, you don't do life with me now. You lead a triple life. There is the life you have with me. The one where I am like this secret. You talk a little, have sex with me, then immediately take a shower and off you go. You either stay in the bathroom on the phone or getting high, or you leave. There is the life of the drug dealer. You hang out with your friends and get high. You drive all over the place and do favors for people if there is money or drugs in it for you. Then there is the nice sweet man you pretend to be to the rest of the world. The man you tried to trick me into thinking you were. The one who says the right stuff and pretends to care about you and what you have been through. The guy who anticipates your needs and is there for you when you need him. He is a good dad and just misunderstood. He doesn't exist. He only exists in the 16 dating apps he is signed up in. You know the ones you told me were a "hobby" that you would give up when I told you it hurt me for you to talk to other women that way. Yeah those. I wonder if Sandy ever even cheated on you or if it was you that cheated. I have her number I should find out. Oh who cares I guess. It doesn't matter. You have hurt me more emotionally than I have ever been hurt in my life. I read an article online about signs that you are emotionally abused. Check it out. It's eerily familiar....

10 Brutal Signs Your Man Is An Emotionally Abusive Jerk

By  Dr Annie Kaszina

How do you spot an emotional abuser? Most likely when a guy first comes a-wooing, he won’t be carrying his, “I’m an emotionally abusive man” placard. So how do you identify him before you get hurt?

Here are the tell tale signs that he is an emotionally abusive man:

1. He shows a lack of respect. Not all emotionally abusive men will show you a lack of respect from Day 1. Some will turn on the charm for a while — others won’t.  But how do they behave toward other people and speak about them? If your boyfriend is critical or contemptuous of other people, be very aware that you have a short shelf life before you become those other people.

2. He always tells incredible hard luck stories about his past. Every emotionally abuser worth his salt has a great hard luck story about his tough past — and, boy, does he tell it well. Telling you his hard luck story is a neat ploy. You only have to respond like the uber-caring, empathic, trusting person you are for him to know you are his perfect… prey.

3. You notice worrying back stories about women. Yep, he’s the one who’s suffered at the hands of women who didn’t understand nor appreciate him. He’s been let down, treated badly, exploited, and robbed blind by past wives and/or girlfriends. His bitterness about these predatory b**ches sends a clear message about how he wants you to behave: no demands, no expectations, just 100% commitment to healing his hurts.

4. He has a bad behavior — or three — that needs to be fixed. That could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness, or anger issues. He’s a little bit broken, but hey, your middle name is Ms. Fix-Him.

5. He’s domineering, and/or jealous, controlling and self-centered. You can tell yourself he’s just “being a man,” but the reality is that he is establishing a power (im)balance in the relationship. It works on the principle that he has the lion’s share of the power, and you get the lion’s share of responsibility.

6. He gets star billing in the relationship — with all that, that entails — while you get to play the bit parts. He gets most of the airplay, and the limelight, etc. as befits the star. It won’t be too long before he lets you know that your job is to keep his trailer nice and tidy.

7. He has a short fuse. “Slow to anger,” “quick to forgive and forget,” and willing to own up to his own mistakes, are NOT accurate descriptions of him.  He’s easily upset, he overreacts, and as he tells it, the problem was not of his making in the first place — so, he rarely has to get his head around the “S” word  (that’s “SORRY” to you and me). He may well be a “potty mouth.” He certainly doesn’t react in a measured, adult way when he feels peeved and aggrieved.

8. He’s not 100 percent reliable, consistent or predictable. “Something comes up” or he’s feeling too tired or he’s been really, really busy. Showing consideration for you, your wishes, and your feelings is not his top priority.

9. He doesn’t let you have boundaries. He asks inappropriate personal questions early on. He rushes you and the relationship. He sets himself up as the authority on every area of your life — including family, friends, your working life, and even your finances.

10. He sets off warning bells in your gut. There was that moment right at the start when, from somewhere deep inside you, there bubbled up the awareness: “YUK. This guy is bad news.” Sadly, that feeling didn’t come with a 20-page PDF report, a government health warning, or even banner headlines anywhere you looked. So what did you? You ignored that feeling. “Listen, if it can’t give me a chapter and verse, why should I pay attention to it? It’s making a lot less noise than he does. Besides, he might be my last chance at happiness, right?” Your intuition doesn’t obsess about the past, or worry about the future. It simply comes to the right conclusion in the present moment. Its predictions are far more clear-sighted than yours are.

If you want to keep yourself safe from emotionally abusive men, you have to learn how to spot them. Emotionally abusive partners create massive mental, emotional and financial havoc in their victims’ lives. This article is here to spare you heartache and disappointment. Don’t be too blind to see them.

.............................................................................Wow. All I can say is wow. So lets break it down.

1. Lack of respect. I don't think I have ever seen you show anyone respect except when you talk about Charlie. Which comes from abuse of your own as a child.

2. Tells hard luck stories. Oh my god I won't even go there. You have a poor woe is me story to excuse every bad behavior.

3. Worrying back stories about other women. Yep! Helloo! The most horrible stories about the women from your past.

4. Bad behavior. Do I even need to go there?

I'll use short answers. Lying, cheating, manipulating, drugs, etc. etc. etc.

5. Domineering and/or jealous controlling and self centered. 150% yes yes yes. You make it very clear you are the boss. All these rules for me that just don't apply to you.

6. Star billing in the relationship. Umm ya. It's all about you. Always is.

7. Easily upset, overreacts, doesn't take responsibility. You get mad at me when I simply tell you how I feel. Or how your actions hurt me. You never apologize. You don't ever take responsibility. It's always someone elses fault or my fault. You will do something fucked up to me and it somehow is my fault. Every fucking time.

8. Not 100% reliable consistent or predictable. This is you. I never know what you are going to do. Even when you try to do better it might only last a day, a week, a month maybe an hour even. Point is, I never know what you are going to do. And you don't show you care about my feelings or needs no matter how clear I relay them to you. I am last on your priority list if I'm there at all. i.e. TONIGHT FOR EXAMPLE

9. The first part of this one eh not so much but the part about you being the authority on every area of my life is spot on. You don't let me have boundaries. You will tell off my entire family if you don't agree with them and my relationship with them. I have ostracized my entire support system because of you. I had it pretty good. My mother in law and I had a great relationship, so did me and my mom and sister. Now I have no one but you. Thanks for that.

10. Sets off warning bells in my gut. Yes, you did. From the very beginning. There was just something always nagging at me telling me you were full of shit. Like how anytime you did something shitty and I would try to talk to you about it, before I could say anything you would distract me by telling me something I wanted to hear. In fact the night you told me you were falling in love with me was one of those times. I was mad at you and said we needed to talk. I was about to tell you whats what when you blurt out you're falling in love with me and that i intimidated you and you didn't know how to act around me. Very fucking smooth.

So there you have it. I am officially the victim of emotional abuse. I never thought I would ever again be in a position to be abused ever again. Yet here I am. The stupid part is that if you were truly remorseful and made an effort I would stay. I would try to make this work. But who am I kidding? You don't love me and I'm not sure you are even capable of loving anyone. J---n lives to love and look after J---n. Ugh I'm fucking done with this entry. Worst New Years Eve I have ever fucking had. If you loved me you would want to be with me.