#i wrote a whole essay in the caption then i got too embarrassed….

[gaaradiary]

mile in your shoes — @ftcoye

a role reversal au ; hyuuga sasuke and uchiha hinata's worlds shatter in the same week.

[charmed-asylum]

The Partners

The Partners, part two

Summary: Finn Cox had everything boy would ever dream of a hot cheerleader girlfriend, loved by everyone, and caption of his hockey team. So why is since Camille Dawson step into his life he starts to have second thoughts about everything

FYI: So haha guess who was clowning herself thinking she could split the first chapter(2011) into two parts. This gal here that's who lol.  Here is part two we got it all a bit of angst mention of death. You know the good stuff. Lets CHAT Come get a tag or Whatnot. If you are new catch up :)

Previous Chapter (1) 

tagged:  @weapinggwillowss​ @nottherightseason​ @strangerfictions​  @thewolfswriting​ @hauntors 

Finn drove down Seaward Highway he wasn’t sure if he had the address right. This area was far more luxurious and well Camille wasn’t the image of rich kids or even a trust fund baby. On each side of the street, off the main road was huge houses far back on spread apart. He pulled to a driveway that has gold numbers reading 212 and stops. The house was as big as a castle with an excellent view. He pulls up the red clay driveway he stops. The only thing he thought the whole drive was how to say sorry but now he was full of more butterflies. He walks up to the double size glass doors and hopes for the best. DING DONG 

Finn waited for her to answer. As the door started to open handsome man step in its entrance. He was tall probably 6’3 well built great jet black hair. Finn tried not to stare at him. Finn love that ladies but even he had to admit the man was good looking. Pulling the phone to the side he looks at Finn. “ Yeah, we can’t do that. So what you want” the man asked.

“Sorry, sir. Here for Camille Dawson ” Finn asked. He looks at Finn strange and shook his head no. “ Wait, Jackson. No, we agree over golf you even sign by hole 5 the contract” he stops "Who are you" the man said looking at Finn confused. 

“Sorry. I think I got the wrong house. Camille does she live here” Finn asked embarrassed. “ Well, I just gonna have to email it to you. Check it out. I got another call. Bye. Camille what is wrong with her” the man asked texting.

A female voice sweet like honey came from behind him and open the door wider. “What happened did Jackson get it. Paula wants to do brunch when I go up this weekend to check on the Brandy account. She wants to know when you coming up so she can do a double date “she said not paying Finn any attention.

The man looks at Finn as he was left speechless. Gazing at the maturer woman. The man winks and kisses her on the lips and point at Finn. The sweet goddess of Finn dreams smile and look at him. “ Who are you. Why he wants Camille she okay” she asked. He shook his head. “Oh no. Your... Camille fine. I go to school with her. She said to come by” Finn said taking a deep gulp in. The two look at each other and whispers a bit to one another. “ She did. What you're her boyfriend?" she said with a giggle her long straight sugar blonde hair shake as she laughs. “ Honey I’m sure we would notice if she had one. Your not her boyfriend are you” he asked his eyebrows bend up a bit. “ No no. She just my partner. For class” Finn said tugging at his letter jacket. The man looked down at his phone and answer, walking away with the door open. “ Come in. Just sit down here. If she told you to come over why isn’t she with you“ she said looking at her phone. Finn glance away from her butt and simply said,” I play sports. So I came right after practice “. She nods and looks again at her phone. The man came back still on the phone. “Sports. I use to do sports guess” he said holding his hand to the phone. She smiles and hits his shoulder. “ Don’t embarrass us?” she said giving Finn a playful smile. The man waves his hand and walks over to Finn. “ I did high school and college Tennis and Rugby. Rank top of state too. That’s still a thing right” he asked. “Yeah yeah, it is” Finn said. They both nod their heads and continue on their phones not paying him any thought.

“ I called you” a soft voice said behind Finn. He glanced back away from the album he was looking at. It was her. She gracefully walks over to Will and kisses his cheek. They talk for a little bit before joining. “Hey ” Camille said dropping her purse onto the glass table. “ He came by looking for you. You told him to come by. Cam cam” Tina said kissing her on the cheek and went off back into the house. She stood still watching as Tina walk back inside then back at the guys.“So you're staying for dinner right Finn. I won’t take no for an answer. Finno" Will said checking his phone. “ Yes sir” Finn said smiling at Camille. 

She sat on the arm of Will chair and gaze at Finn. Shaking her head no. Will phone started to ring. “ Its Will. Alright, I’m going inside. Camille, you're in change do what I forget to say” Will said and walk inside talking on the phone. Camille slides into the chair and stares at him. “What are you doing here. Finn. You made it clear you didn't want to work together" she stops and looks down at a photo album. It was open to a young girl with a big smile with a crown on and a first-place ribbon. Happy moments.

“ I’m sorry. Okay. I’m sorry. I’m a stereotype ass. Cliche 90s jackass jock. But I’m working hard I even read the essay and have noted” Finn said holding out the paper. Camille sigh took the notes and glance over them. Finn studies her. " Anyway, it looks like someone got beauty and brains. I am sorry. I don’t apologize for much but I was a complete ASS. To you. I'm sorry. Cam cam. what did my friends do to you anyway?" he says closing the book. She opens her bag and takes out some books. " It’s nothing. Finn. Please don’t talk so loud they don’t know. Just how can I trust you. You have been pushing this off. I had to bust into a party and force you to work with me. I know you don't like this but. Help me help you" she says in a whisper.

He looks at her. It was weird how she talks to him. The truth was he was afraid of the truth. Camille looks at him then at the window. Her uncle was gone. She gets up and grabs Finn's hand. "Let’s restart. The only way this will work, we only have a few weeks. I think the fact that you look at me and I to you what they want us to see. I will try. Here we just two people. Me a pageant winner that now lover of books blah blah and so on and you" she stops lick her bottom lip deep in thought.

Taking his hand they walk over to an old treehouse in the back. She lets go and walks to an antique pink cart. “ When they got this place. There was this unfinished treehouse. We kept trying to finish it but it never happened. Everyone that comes signs it. Here were my parents' sign” Camille said pointing at two names.

He wanted to smile they been talking more than ever before. “Have your fun Finno. Your lucky they usually not here. I’m sure you got that” Camille said taking out a pen and notebook. “ I understand that. It’s like that at my house. When we are all there it’s just clipped art perfect family or - “ Finn started to say. “Silence” Camille finishes his sentence. “Yeah. Look I’m sorry about my friend at the party” Finn said. Camille glances back to the window. Will was in there talking while on the computer looking like he belongs in a fashion magazine. “ It’s alright. You were probably drunk somewhere. Nothing happened like that. Just the usual food was thrown at you nasty words and clothes being pulled” Camille said writing some things down like it was nothing. “ Why you being nice opening up. Normal “ Finn said. “Same as you. Finn let’s get to work” Camille says with a giggle. One that sounds more innocent than the seductive one her aunt had earlier.

They talk laugh and well just smile at each other, enjoying each other's company. Finn poking fun at Camille being a pageant kid Camille poke at him being a jock. As it got late Will came out washing his hands. “ Dinner cam come help set up alright. I got a few calls to make “ Will shoot out. Getting up from the ground Camille grabs her things. “ You're the guest. Just hang chill lax inside there drinks tv what not” Camille said. “ I’m gonna be in a minute just gonna check in with my parents “ Finn said taking out his phone. Camille nodded and started to walk in. Looking down at his phone he stops himself and walks over to the treehouse. It was covered in names quotes handprints. By the swing was an out-of-date pink tea tray with paint marks. Taking the paint he wrote his name by Camille. Finn Cox + Camille Dawson  

Camille was finishing up the table when he came in. Finn sat beside Camille with Will on the head and Tina on the other side. " Come over cam cam. Your classmate here on the hockey team. He Invited us to one of the games" Will said. Dinner was as imperfect as a dysfunctional family could be. But who would care ain't everyone's family just the same? However, it was different. Camille looks at Finn then at Will. Then back at her plate. Finn smirks at himself than continue eating. Will feeling awkward starts to speak. " So Finn-o have any plans after high school. You kids like seniors or something" he says looking at the both of them. Camille drops her fork and quickly glance at Finn." Uncle Will, we are only sophomores. I don't think Finn is thinking abo" she starts to say. Finn still eating looks at Will. " Get a full ride thanks to a hockey scholarship to Minnesota State. Where my major would be business. After I’m drafted within my years in college. I go to New York or Toronto or some top-five team and play for about 5-10 years. I get at less about six endorsements. Retire move back here respectfully with my trophy wife. Where I take over my family business" Finn said looking at his plate.

It was silent. " Well at less your going to New York or Toronto. Good teams there. Hope you don't forget about uncle Will when you become pro. But just wondering is that what you want to do. Or that what you told" Will says looking at Finn. Camille glance at Will then at Finn interested what he was going to say. Finn surprise shrugs his shoulders. He never really asked that. Something he doesn’t know the answer to. Camille feeling bad gets up and takes out a carton of strawberry ice cream from the freezer. " Ice cream anyone" she says holding ice cream and spoons.

After the awkward dinner. Camille walks Finn to the door. Finn smirks never left his face whole night and waves bye to Will and Camille. As he got close to his car he feels a soft hand on his shoulder. He turns around its Camille. She standing outside freezing. " Sorry about Will. He doesn't understand I guess us. He usually ... well always busy. Like my aunt. You know if you do something someone else wants you to do you will never learn or be able to love it. We are young. Most of us don't think about those things. Well...." she stops and rubs her hands together. " I was alright with you coming over. And I guess I see you tomorrow" she says giving him a gentle rub in the shoulder then walking back. He watches her going back inside to the door and stop to watch him drive off.

By the time Finn was able to get home everything but living room light was on. “Where have you been” dad asked. Finn stood by the doorway. “Huh, nothing after practice. I went to work on a project. I told you about it” Finn said rubbing the back of his neck. Dad nods his head and takes out another beer from the fridge. “Mom sleeping. Next time call us. Okay. Your brothers are not here which makes you the second commander. So start acting like it. A phone call or next time no car“ Dad said and walked to the bed. Finn tosses his bag on the floor and hops on his bed falling asleep thinking about Camille.

Nikkei waited for Finn outside his house the next day. Upset that he didn’t wait for her after cheerleading practice. “ So where were you yesterday. You had practice then you were gone” Nikkei said standing by his car with a few of her friends. Finn glanced down at his phone to see if Camille text him. “ I had to take care of my mom. What is one day going to do? I pick you up after today okay “Finn said. Nikkei rolls her eyes. “ We need a ride. Take us would you” she said chewing her gum. He could not understand how someone like Nikkei was who she was. “Oh, that reminds me to look at what I posted last night” Nikkei said looking back at her friends. She shoves it into his face, it was Camille waiting for the bus by herself. “ Come on I’m driving and maybe stop being a fucking ass. You could have been right with her if you didn’t have me being fuckin your taxi “Finn said underneath his breath. Her friends giggle. “ Well, she a freak and you know all freaks deserve to be put somewhere away from us normal people “Nikkei said. He hated she says that. Normal. He wanted to scream shit kick her and her minions out but he couldn’t that’s not what Finn the sweet boyfriend does.

He watched as each person walks by waiting with his school letterman jacket over his shoulder. Chewing on a string. He made up shortly after with Nikkei when they made out behind the stairs. Camille strolls in with an AC/DC sweater two sizes bigger of coarse thick leggings and some black army boots. He watches her as she went to her seat in homeroom. Turning his head over mouth hi to her even though she wasn’t paying attention. After a few minutes, she finally mouth hi back.

“ So I have to ask your aunt. What she a model. I wish I took a picture to show my friends. Camille sexy hot aunt” Finn said putting his books down the seat across from Camille. She looks around at the classroom everyone was working. “She not a model well not anymore. She did some modeling when she was young. You gonna work “ Camille said with her glasses tilt down. “ God damn” Finn said excitedly. Camille looks at Finn and shook her head. “ Wait you playing with me” Finn said tapping his pen. “ Isn’t that the point. What you and your buddies love to do. I know I’m a project but news flash you are too. And yes. She was a model” Camille said with a smile. Finn nod and look around. “ So why you said we are both projects “ Finn asked. She stares at him for a minute. “ Finn you think it strange she put us together. Anyway as you said before I was being a butt head” Camille said putting her hair behind her ear. “ What if we do that. This is me. What I am dealing with it. We are all different and unique ” Finn said excited pleased with himself.

Clapping her hands slowly, “Now Finno I think you had your first own idea”. Finn started to laugh into his sleeve trying not to pee himself. “ Alright, cam cam” Finn said smiling at her. It was like they had a secret. One only they both knew. He loves it. “ I got hockey practice I can’t miss so I guess no popup. Cam, can you do the essay? “ Finn asked grabbing his backpack. Camille looks up and nods okay.

Outside of class, they went their separate ways. He would see her around outside of class and before he would just glance and go on. Now it was different folks were starting to notice it.

Finn walks over to his gym locker and grabs his gear. Even though he was a sophomore he was captain of JV for two years and well probably be captain next season. Hockey was his outlet with everything school Nikkei friends and home. Before she became sick she uses to always watch his practice the games. “ Dude where was you at bro” Kevin said walking in with his blades. Closing his lockers,” Oh yeah the other day. I had to go home. Parents stuff. Riding me like a horse” Finn said slapping his hand. “ Yeah man sorry about that. Old man riding me too. I heard that guy you hit goes to the other school on their hockey team. Talking smack” Kevin said walking beside him. “ Nah don’t worry. Kev we got it. Let him talk shit. He is eating my ice chips by the time we are done” Finn said patting his back. As he blades hit that ice it was like stepping on the welcome home mate. Striding back and forth hitting each puck into the goal. He was himself before that stupid fight before Camille before it was all a show and Finn in his glory.

After practice, he and the guys went to the diner for some grub. Where he was the life of the party. Joking around laughing at the dumbest stuff. Just him and his brothers his friends. Later he caught up with Nikkei to do homework and making out. “ Hey, I’m sorry babe about before” Finn said putting his shirt on. Nikkei slides over and kisses his ear. He turns around and kisses her again. Camille he whispered into the kiss. Getting up quick he stops. The hell. Nikkei stood on her knees confused. “ The hell. Finn” Nikkei said pulling at his pants. “ Sorry” he said kissing her. Minutes pass and their phone started to vibrate. Quickly getting up again he stumbles putting his shirt back on. “ Sorry. I got an emergency. I call you later” Finn said kissing Nikkei on the lips.

Finn rush to the Northern Sky Hospital. She was getting so much better how could this have happened. Probably that selfish dick fault. His dad was outside talking to the doctor. Alright screaming at him. Demanding answers. “ Finn won't you go in there with your mom.  Me and dumb ass got some more talking “ dad said. Finn nod and walk inside. His mom was hooked up into IVs and a feeding tube. Sitting beside her he holds her hand. “ Finn it’s gonna be alright. Baby. I slip and your dad making a big deal” mom said weakly. Finn hop onto the bed lay beside her comb his finger through her hair. It looks a few days for his mom to talk him into going back to school which he dreaded. Everyone texted him what was up but only Camille was sincere about it. Which was different for him not wanting anything out of it.

“ Finn can you go and get me some soup and crackers from the Chinese spot I like. Before you come home” his mom texted. Text back fine and went to pack up his gym bag. Since the scare, he hasn’t talked to anyone outside of his mom and brothers to keep them each update. Even Camille was in the dark but he could tell she knew. How who knows but she knew. From the way she talked to him to how she acts. Nicer. Then those looks she would give when they saw each other in the hallway.

Pulling up to his driveway he stops to hear the radio inside booming and laughing. Laughter was one of those things that became foreign to him. Something that simply doesn’t assist anymore. He could hear his mom and dad laughing from the kitchen. “ Yes, then I remember seeing him just standing there mopping the floor with the toilet water in his little rocket diaper” mom said laughed. Finn walks in. His mom and dad stop talking. “Finn. Look who came over. She made these yummy cookies” mom said handing him one. Finn took and ate it. Damn it taste like heaven on one bite. “ It’s good. So huh Camille what are you doing here” Finn said surprise. “ Well, you did say that we should work on the project at your house. Like how you did at mine two weeks ago” Camille said with a smirk. Finn's dad got over and patted his back. “Great to see you hanging out with some people that got something going for themselves “dad said. “Mr. Cox your son be a great help to me. He even came up with the idea “ Camille said saving him from another burn. “ I invited her to stay over. She gonna help me cook wanna help too” mom said. Camille smiled and nod yes. “ Yeah but then we gotta work on the project “ Finn said grabbing a knife. Camille nod. “ I’m gonna call my uncle to let him know. He gonna wanna know what time to pick me up” Camille said taking her phone out. “ No. Finn take you home after dinner” mom said a huge grin. Camille looks at Finn.“ Yeah. Cam cam I take you” Finn said. Camille mouth thanks and left to make the call.

Mom looks around to make sure she was gone. She slapped him on the shoulder. “ I like her a lot. You think she has a boyfriend ” mom said with her hand on her hip. Finn started to blush he knew his mom wasn’t a fan of his girlfriends, especially with Nikkei. “That I know of no. She doesn’t “ Finn said. Mom sigh. “Girlfriend" she said. “ No. mommy. Why you ask wanna set her up with Brent” Finn asked. “ No. you. I like her for you. You don’t see but she good for you. Not like that other girl” mom said. Camille walks back inside right on cue. “ Mom did she tell you she uses to do pageants” Finn said. Camille glances up to him from cutting the carrots. “ Yes. She did. I show her your Boy Scout pictures. He doesn’t want anyone to know but he still apart of it to this day. Meetings every Wednesday night” mom said. “ MOM. Come on you cramping my style “ Finn said embarrassed. They all started to laugh together.

Finn sat in his chair swinging back and forth with Camille's feet cross on the edge of the bed. “ So I guess you got me back” Finn said. “I forgot about that. You didn’t seem like yourself so I came to check up on you” Camille said. “ So you care. And all this time I thought you were jealous of my charm “ Finn said jokingly. “ No. I’m just jealous you didn’t tell me about this brother of yours “ Camille said with an eat shit grin.  Damn did she look hot. Finn stops spinning in his chair and looks at her. Shit, she heard everything “ What you hear” Finn said coming closer to her. She had a sweet scent. She gazes in his eyes and started to laugh. “Yeah not gonna happen. I’m not telling you. Just next time tell your mom I like dudes and dudes alone” Camille said looking down. Finn nod and push back away. “Sure. And you would not like him he boring. Not cool like me, you know “ Finn said nonchalantly. She rolled her eyes and said okay.

Finn sat next to Camille on the black leather sectional sofa with his mom sitting on the other end with dad. They sat together and watch a movie. He looks around at his family then his partner before he would have thought it was strange stupid. Now it something to this day he remembers as one of the happiest days of his life. Looking over his mom was lending on dad's shoulder. “Thanks, Cam cam" Finn whispers to her. She touches his shoulder softly and said any time Finno.

Finn waited for Camille in his car. She hugs both of them walk out towards the car. Mom rushes to her and passed her a paper and kiss her cheek. The drive was silent though the music that played on the radio. Finn turns it down and pulled to the side of the road. “ Look Camille I.. I “ Finn started to say. Camille turn to him put her finger to his mouth to stop him from going any further. “ Finn don’t worry. I won’t say anything” Camille said gazing at him placing her hand back on her lap. Finn ropes his arm around the back of the seat. “ Thanks. I don’t know why it’s a big deal. Honestly, they all don’t care. Stupid huh” Finn said with red cheeks. She sat facing him and nod her head no. “ It’s not stupid. At all Finn. It’s what you want. You should know your dad and mom are so proud of you. Like really really proud. That’s what we talked about before you came” Camille said sincerely. Finn nod. “Thanks. I haven’t seen them laugh in a long time. Then dinner. It’s like it was fake but real. My dad usually can’t stand being in the same room with us” Finn said. She looks at him. He knew what she wanted to say. “ My aunt and uncle never eat with each together either. If you could not tell from the way they act. Since I live with them we never even use that dining table. I don’t even think I ever had dinner night, to be honest. Finn in the future if you need someone to talk or to listen please call or text me. It is less gray hair for me “ Camille said softly rubbing her hand through her dark caramel curls. He smiled. No one ever did this before “ I keep that in mind. Thanks, Camille. It means a lot” Finn said. She looks away then again at him. “ My parents died in a horrible car crash. I was there when it happened too. I woke up bald to be told they were gone. Then to be giving to people who don’t want kids. I wish I could enjoy time with them even one second. That’s why I don’t want to tell them about the party. It just is one more thing they can probably believe is a problem” Camille said with sorrow. He never really saw much from her. Emotion. She probably never told a soul open up but he knew she was showing him it was okay. No matter what happening going to happen it will be okay.

Finn wiped his eyes and drove her home. She hugged him and whisper it be okay. Okay. Walking back inside he stops at his parents' room and covers them with a blanket. They were together. Dad wasn’t on the recliner mom wasn’t crying. No, they were at peace. One day and she change that like a heaven touch.

[bigyack-com]

‘The Far Side’ Is Back. Sort Of. Gary Larson Will Explain.

Just shy of 25 years since its last original installment, the offbeat comic strip “The Far Side” has returned. In a manner of speaking, but please don’t call it a comeback.“I’m not ‘back,’ at least in the sense I think you’re asking,” said Gary Larson, the cartoonist who created it, via email last week ahead of a website revival. “Returning to the world of deadlines isn’t exactly on my to-do list.” Beginning Tuesday, the “Far Side” site will provide visitors with “The Daily Dose,” a random selection of past cartoons, along with a weekly set of strips arranged by theme. There will also be a look at doodles from the sketchbooks of Larson, who said: “I’m looking forward to slipping in some new things every so often.” (Previously, there was no content on the site.)“The Far Side” became a cultural phenomenon after it appeared in The San Francisco Chronicle on Jan. 1, 1980. The single-panel comic, which ran until Larson, now 69, retired in 1995, featured men, women, children, animals and insects in often offbeat and sometimes inscrutable situations. One installment, “Cow Tools,” featured a bovine in front of a worktable with an odd assortment of implements. The image was described on Reddit as the comic’s most “notoriously confusing cartoon.” There were also occasional controversies: A chimp once described Jane Goodall as a tramp, though she later wrote the foreword for a collected edition of the series. One scientist even named an insect after Larson. After stepping away from his daily deadline 24 years ago, Larson said he rarely drew, except for Christmas cards. But even that was not easy. It “had turned into an annual pain because I seemed to always be dealing with clogged pens, dried-up markers, or something else related to lack of use,” he said. That changed when he tried working on a digital tablet. “Lo and behold, within moments I found myself having fun drawing again,” he said. Here are edited excerpts from the email interview.What was your inspiration for “The Far Side?”It probably all started with “Alley Oop.” I had always liked to draw as a kid, and I remember being grabbed visually by that strip. I was especially fascinated with the dinosaurs, and that’s when I started drawing my own, along with other animals. No cows, though. Later came a major influence from Mad magazine, especially the style and humor of Don Martin. I think that’s the first time I actually laughed at a cartoon. Still later I was taken with the cartoons of Gahan Wilson, B. Kliban and George Booth. All these cartoonists seemed to attach a lot of importance to nuance and composition. There was something almost organic going on between the humor and the art that conveyed it.Did any cartoons provoke controversy?Man, controversy never seemed too far away from me, especially during my first year of syndication. I truly thought my career may have ended a number of times. I remember one I did of a couple dogs that were playing this game, where they were smacking around a cat hanging from a long rope attached to a pole. I called it “Tethercat.” To me, and I assume my editor, it didn’t cross any line because this was just a game dogs might play. But that one got people stirred up. Especially cat people. Doing something controversial was never my intention. This was just my sense of humor, and the kind of humor in my family. I never drew anything my mom wouldn’t have laughed at. Of course, my mom was insane. I’m kidding! Well, maybe a little.I’ll forever be grateful to fans, who in those early days often rescued “The Far Side” from cancellation, or campaigned to get it reinstated. Why did you avoid recurring characters?I would have felt locked in. I just wanted to go anywhere my mind would take me, from bacteria to outer space.When I first met the editor of my syndicate-to-be, he asked about developing recurring characters. The moment scared me. I didn’t have a clue on how to approach character-based cartooning. And then he dropped the idea just a few minutes after bringing it up. To me, characters were only in a cartoon to serve an idea, to play a supportive role just like any film actor might, but in a film so short it was only a single frame.But my own version of central casting started taking shape. I could sometimes be asked by someone if I would draw “that nerdy kid” or “that woman with the beehive hairdo” and of course I knew who they meant. But I didn’t assign a specific name or persona to any of them. One of my characters could be teaching a class one day and get trampled by an elephant the next. You would never want to get too attached.Was it initially tough to pitch “The Far Side” to newspapers or your agent?I never really “pitched” my cartoons to anyone. Seems to me cartoons have to speak for themselves. My goal was to see if I could get editors to just look at my work. Other than that, I stayed out of it.I did manage to sell a handful of cartoons to one very small weekly, for which I received $5 each. Aside from that, though, the few doors I knocked on were of the revolving kind. But the handful of times an editor actually did look at my work, not only did he or she not rain on my parade, they seemed to take a genuine interest in me, and ended up giving my self-confidence a boost. Then a big shot in the arm was when The Seattle Times started running my cartoons on a weekly basis. It didn’t last forever — too many complaints, I was told — but it ultimately motivated me to head down to San Francisco, where I walked through the doors (again, unannounced) of The San Francisco Chronicle, and the rest, as they say …At what point did you know the strip was a success?My own benchmark for success was pretty basic — I just wanted to be able to pay my rent. Beyond reaching that goal I really didn’t care much. I was doing something I loved, getting by, and that’s what mattered. So, in my own eyes, I think I became successful somewhere in my second year. But I’m not sure I ever quite shook the sense that the whole thing might be a house of cards. I always felt like yesterday’s cartoon was yesterday’s cartoon, and I was only as funny as today’s.And then there was “Cow Tools.”“Cow Tools” is difficult to describe, so I don’t think I should attempt it here or it could turn into an essay. But the bottom line is that it was a massively confusing cartoon. When that came out, suddenly I found myself being called by reporters and doing interviews about a cartoon with the inane title, “Cow Tools.” I think one newspaper even held a contest to see if anyone could figure out what it meant. It got kind of wild.But, in a weird way, this is how I first came to realize that there was something going on, and that there were other humans actually reading my cartoons. Cartooning is kind of a loner endeavor. You draw stuff, you mail it in, draw stuff, mail it in. Which “Far Side” cartoons are your favorites?I’ve always been more inclined to remember the ones I wish I hadn’t done. There was a time when I felt embarrassed about a fair number of them, mostly because I thought they were kind of stupid or corny. Or they flat-out tanked. But now when I look back at those cartoons, I think many of them have a kind of innocence to them, and they don’t bother me so much.As for favorites, these days I’m actually having a harder time just remembering many of them. I don’t have cause to look at them very often, and when I do it feels sort of like bumping into an old friend you haven’t seen or thought about for years. Are there any strips you wish you could take another stab at?I retroactively tweaked some captions on a handful of cartoons after they were initially published, trying to dial them in just a little better, but I almost regret doing even that. I think it’s possible to keep refining something until you’ve managed to kill it. Even the warts probably play a role. What is it like to have two species named after you?Amazing. And truly flattering. Truthfully, I think it’s officially only one species, a chewing louse that lives exclusively on owls. I believe the other one, an Ecuadorean butterfly, hit some kind of taxonomic snag. But hey, I’m honored to get the louse! I can die now. Read the full article

[pagedesignhub-blog]

My So-Called (Instagram) Life

New Post has been published on https://pagedesignhub.com/my-so-called-instagram-life/

My So-Called (Instagram) Life

“You’re like a cartoon person,” he stated. “Usually carrying the equal component every day.”

He supposed it as an intimate remark, the sort you may make most effective after spending a lot of time gaining knowledge of each different. You flip your hair to the proper. You best eat ice cream out of mugs. You Constantly put on a black leather-based jacket. I realize you.

And he did know me. As an alternative, he knew the cool animated film of me that I had created and meticulously cultivated. The me I broadcast to the arena on Instagram and Facebook. The witty, creative me, Always indifferent and in no way tacky or needy.

That version of me got her start online as my social media character, however over the years (and that I assume for the sake of consistency), she bled off the screen and overtook my real-Existence character, too. And when you grasp what is largely an onstage performance of your self, it could be difficult to break a person.

There has been a time after I allowed myself to be more than what may want to suit onto a 2-by means of-4-inch display screen. once I wasn’t so self-aware of how I was seen. when I embraced my contradictions and desires with much less fear of embarrassment or rejection.

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Preserve reading the main tale There was a time when I swore in the front of my buddies and stated grace in the front of my grandmother. when I wore lipstick after seeing “Clueless,” and shoes after seeing “Remember the Titans.” once I flipped my hair each way, ate ice cream out of some thing, and wore coats of all types and colorings.

When you consider that then, I have consolidated that variety — scrubbed it away, surely — to come to be one continually cool girl: one face, two fingers, one black leather-based jacket.

And so it became a validation of sorts when Joe fell for her, me inside the leather jacket. He becomes exquisite, the funniest man in our Television writing software, and my ideal cool counterpart. I may want to already see us on the screen; we made the experience.

First-class of all, he notion he liked me more than I liked him, and that became perfect too because it gave me the top hand. I was above love, above emotional hardship, devoted to higher hobbies.

Periodically Joe could confront me approximately this imbalance. We’d meet at a park on Second Avenue and tenth Avenue, and he could tell me that I drove him loopy, that he couldn’t be as removed as me.

And, of the route, the reality turned into that I wasn’t removed in any respect. Over the many months we have been collective, as we went from being friends to greater than buddies, I had fallen for him absolutely. The singular syllable of his call had begun to sense permanently tucked between my molars and was Constantly on my mind.

however, I used to be reluctant to exchange my person midseason and grow to be someone who was greater open and, God forbid, earnest about love. He had fallen for the cool, indifferent me, so that’s who I remained. And he was given bored.

That’s the way it is going with half-hour Television indicates. Consistency can come to be boring. The desire-they-or-wonot-they characters need to get collectively, and at that point, the display is closing in on its finale. It’s all of the builds, and when that becomes worn-out, the show gets canceled.

Like an allergic reaction to becoming unloved, my Instagram account went into overdrive, all aimed at one target audience member: Joe. Thru loads of displays, I used to be screaming at him: “I’m here! I’m humorous! I’m at that fish taco place I confirmed you!”

The likes I were given from my followers did little to quell my crushing want for Joe’s cyber approval. “Like me once more, like me once more,” became my subconscious mantra.

however he didn’t like me, and each time he didn’t, the heartache felt like a heated bullet exploding in my gut. I might lie on the couch and snatch my belly so tightly it was as if I have been trying to expel the shrapnel from my throat. I knew no person else should extract it for me because no person knew it turned into there.

I used to be embarrassed for the human beings I saw who pined publicly on Instagram, but I additionally envied them. They have been showered with help, with reassurance. In the event that they were not absolutely cured, at least the infection appeared to run a shorter direction.

In the meantime, on every occasion I twisted my backbone, I felt that heat bullet scraping my insides. I was scared it’d fossilize there and end up permanently embedded.

So that you can self-soothe, I wrote letters to Joe — real, physical letters, pen to notepad — that felt like a few ancient ritual, using my whole hand and now not simply my thumbs. Watching his cowlick in class, I would write down everything I desired: for him to critique my writing, to stroke my hair while we watched “Lessen Your Enthusiasm” on his ugly futon, to examine his performs and believe I used to be shifting ever toward his middle.

Rather than supply him any of these letters, I burned them, trying and failing to cremate that facet of myself.

Daily, hour by means of the hour, my Instagram feed have become extra manic, nasty and petulant. Posts that have been as soon as intended as romantic gestures became tiny, pixelated middle arms.

Joe began to observe, however in preference to magically falling lower back in love with me, he became hurt and irritated. I used to be inexplicably cold to him, posting snap shots of events I threw that he wasn’t invited to, photographs of me overseas wherein I hadn’t told him I used to be studying, and pieces of artwork I made but hadn’t shared with him.

In return, he sent me messages of unvarnished honesty: “Why didn’t you invite me?” “Why are you being like this?”

Oh, it’s simply who I am. I’m a laugh, I feel nothing and I have completely forgotten you.

And so it went, and that i kept on the stunning container I used to be crafting for myself. A shoe box covered in stickers and pretend jewels. the type you would make for a puppy parakeet you have to bury. I would dream approximately Joe at night, and in the morning I’d publish some thing silvery and eye catching. It turned into Constantly simply tinfoil, although, not truth. and I prayed no one would be aware.

I published a photo of me standing subsequent to a shirt that stated “the sector Shook at Adam’s bar mitzvah, 1995,” with a witty caption about less difficult instances, before international warming. A female who follows me, with whom I’ve spoken best a handful of instances, told me it was so “on the logo.”

My emblem, in particular: funny, carefree, unromantic, a realist.

I’m just like the leader government of my own corporation, so I’m acquainted with my branding, but its fulfillment doesn’t thrill me the manner it used it. rather than feeling proven through her comment, I felt deflated. I slightly recognize this girl, and yet she is aware of me, knows my “emblem,” and I am crushed through the choice to tell her that I’m faux, that I am heartbroken.

I can’t say for positive that being more sincere with my friends or broadening my “brand” to include a chunk of depth, romanticism, and ache might have helped. What I can say is that clinging to continuity has made my skin move slowly and itch, as if I super-glued masks over my face. I idea every day approximately peeling lower back that mask, but I couldn’t; the woman it represented was anywhere, and I feared that her insides had been completely mechanized.

This yr, Joe and I are in a class together, and he’s unsettled via my presence. I haven’t spoken to him in for all time.

“What’s right, guy?” I say with the signature casualness of cool animated film me. “It’s been a minute.”

This is not the me who changed her outfit 5 instances before arriving, who coughed repeatedly until her voice had obtained the suitable quantity of rasp, who dug into her pores the night earlier than, looking to rid her body of all signs that he became nevertheless buried there, thick and toxic under her pores and skin.

If you spend 8 years constructing a house (no matter how uncomfortable or unsightly it could be, no matter how impractical or poorly lit), it will become almost not possible to knock it down. This is about how long I put into building my social media presence, into turning into the cool lady I show off on Instagram and Facebook.

I built her with out blueprints, no longer knowing that she might come to be a wall with out a doors. She has stopped me from on line courting because that could suggest I care approximately romance. She has stopped me from sporting purple, due to the fact that might suggest I’m too female. She has stopped me from being publicly heartbroken, from sobbing at the orange subway seats, from displaying up on Joe’s doorstep with the letters I wrote, because that could imply I’m no longer cool.

Maximum these days, she attempted to stop me from penning this essay, from admitting to every body that I am hurting.