#i’d act this way too if i was trying to bag miles kane

[hesterias]

gifs by @hesterias

Alex Turner in “Is This What You Wanted” by The Last Shadow Puppets

[fandomrewrites]

Chasing Butterflies: Twilight’s Last Gleaming

Hello all! As always constructive criticism is appreciated and I hope you enjoy the chapter. Please let me know if your have any imagine requests or want to be added to any of my taglists.

Season 1; Episode 5: Twilight’s Last Gleaming Pairings: OC x OC best friends, no love interests chosen yet Warnings: Swearing and mild violence Word Count: 2,265

Season 1 Masterlist

"E! Nova! You guys gotta get up and see this!" Harper calls as she walks into the girls tent. She moves to shake Elara awake and turns to check that Nova is up when Elara blinks her eyes open. "Come on!" She says once more leaving the tent.

Elara and Nova share a look but stand up following Elara's old cellmate out of their tent. Elara stands with just a singlet and underwear and Nova in a sports bra and pants. Upon exiting the tent they see the rest of the delinquents looking up at something in the sky.

They follow their gazes to see a pod from the ark falling to Earth. "They're coming to help us. Now we can kick some grounder ass." Jones says from the girls left.

The rest of the delinquents cheer. Nova rolls her eyes as she hears Roma mutter, "Please tell me they brought some shampoo."

"I hope they sent weapons." Nova says.

"And medical supplies and warmer clothes." Elara adds.

Nova turns on her heel, heading back inside the tent. She throws on a shirt and her jacket then starts packing a small bag. A few minutes later Elara joins her back inside, "We're going, right?" Elara asks.

"I am. And I'll bring some others. You should stay behind though." Nova replies.

"What? Why?" 

"I don't know where Clarke is right now. You need to stay here since you have medical experience."

Elara sighs, "Fine. Just be safe."

"Always am."

This comment makes Elara raise an eyebrow at the petite girl, "Please. Don't make me laugh." Nova smirks then walks past her and out of the tent. 

"Octavia! Ready?" Nova calls.

Octavia nods, "Yeah, we just have to get Bellamy." Nova follows Octavia into the tent used for setting up plans, "We should get moving. Everyone's ready."

"No one's going anywhere. Not while it's dark it isn't safe. We'll head out at first light; pass the word." Bellamy answers.

"You aren't the boss of me in case you’ve forgotten. I'm going whether you like it or not." Nova snaps at the older boy.

"Can you please listen for once in your life." Bellamy sighs.

Octavia answers before Nova can argue, "Everyone for a hundred miles saw this thing come down. What if the grounders get to it first? Bell, we should go now."

"I said we wait till sunrise." He says once more.

Octavia huffs and leaves the tent, "I'm going. I don't care if I go alone. No grounder is going to get me. And you can't make me stay." Nova says. She turns on her heel to leave but Bellamy grabs her arm, stopping her.

"Nova, I'm serious. I don't want you getting hurt."

Nova carefully looks at Bellamy, "If you keep acting like that I'm going to start thinking you care about me, Blake."

Bellamy cracks a smile, "Maybe I do, angel."

"Well you know I can fight. A grounder doesn't have a chance against me. And if you're that concerned, come with me."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

Nova tilts her head and smirks, "What made you think that?"

Bellamy rolls his eyes and finally let's go of her arm. "So, are you coming with me?" Nova asks.

Bellamy sighs, "Sorry for this, Nova." Nova opens her mouth to ask what he means but before any words leave her mouth Bellamy hits her over her head with a heavy stick, knocking her out.

Nova slumps over, Bellamy catching her before she hits the ground. He gently lays her down and walks past her out the tent, getting ready to leave the camp without anyone else's knowledge. 

Outside of the tent Elara made herself busy talking with some of the other delinquents. After about 15 minutes Elara looks around, a concerned look plastered on her face. "Have any of you seen Nova?"

The delinquents around her shake their heads, "She probably left." Atlas says.

Elara turns her head to look at her ex-boyfriend. "Bellamy said to wait until sunrise."

"Like she would listen to him. Come on, Elara. You're her best friend. Don't you know her better than that?"

Elara rolls her eyes, "Did anyone see her leave?"

"I didn't."

"Then help me look for her. If she's not here then you're probably right."

This time Atlas rolls his eyes, but rather than arguing he turns around to start looking for Nova. Not thinking that he would actually find her, he pushes open the tent that they use to discuss plans. His eyes immediately find the petite girl.

He sticks his head out of the tent, "Elara! I found her!" He yells for the brunette. Hearing his calls she quickly runs out of the dropship and to the tent. She rushes over to Nova and gently shakes her awake.

Atlas stands over her shoulder, watching the interaction. "Nov? Nova, wake up." Elara quietly says.

Nova finally wakes up groaning and raising her hand to the side of her head. "I'm going to kill Bellamy." She grunts out.

"What? What did he do?" Elara asks.

"He fucking knocked me out. What a piece of shit."

Nova pushes herself off the ground, almost making herself lose her balance. "Be careful! You might have a concussion!"

"I'll be fine once I kill him."

"Nova Marie Kane!" Elara scolds. 

Nova looks at her shocked, "Did you just mom me?" Elara glares, "Sorry, not funny. But seriously I feel fine. Just incredibly pissed off. Can I please go find Bellamy so I can kill him now?"

Without waiting for a reply Nova pushes past Elara and Atlas. She walks outside the tent at the same time that Clarke and Finn enter the camp. "Did you guys see that? You know it's from the Ark, right? It has to be." Fox tells the two delinquents.

"Grab your stuff. Let's find out." Clarke replies.

"Bellamy said we're gonna wait until sunrise." Fox says.

"Where is he?" Clarke asks, starting to walk towards his tent.

"Don't bother. He already left. Let's go." Nova says. She angrily walks past delinquents, who are literally jumping out of her way. She exits the camp, Clarke and Finn on her heels.

"What do you mean? How do you know he already left?" Finn asks.

"Because the asshole knocked me out so I didn't leave. Whatever is in that pod he wants bad. And he has a head start."

 *_*_*_*_*_*

 Just as the sun begins to rise, the trio of delinquents arrive at the area where the pod landed. "Should we split up?" Clarke asks.

"Yeah. You go that way, Clarke." Finn says, gesturing to the left. "You can check that way." He gestures to the right.

Nova and Clarke nod, "Stay within yelling distance." Nova says, walking away from the other two.

After wandering aimlessly for a few minutes Nova turns around to head back the way she came. She makes it to the pod just in time to see a girl kissing Finn. "Well, that's one way to greet someone." Nova says.

Nova looks towards Clarke, seeing that Clarke looks rather annoyed. Her attention is brought back to Finn and the girl when Finn asks, "How did you get here?"

"You know that big scraphold? The one on K deck?" She answers.

"You built that from scrap?"

"I kind of rebuilt it." Finn laughs in response. 

"You're insane." He says with a shake of his head.

"I'd do more for you and worse. Just like you would for me." She staggers into Finn's arms. 

"Come on, sit down." Finn says. He leads her over to a rock and takes his jacket off to put around her. 

Clarke and Nova finally walk over to the couple, "You need to put pressure on her wound." Clarke says, handing Finn an ice pack.

"Thanks," The girl says.

"This is Clarke and Nova. They were on the dropship too. This is Raven." Finn introduces.

"Clarke? This was all because of your mom."

"My mom?" Clarke asks, shock evident in her voice.

"This was all her plan. We were trying to come down here together. If we waited-" She cuts herself off, "Oh my God. We couldn't wait because the council was voting whether to kill three hundred people to save air."

"When?" Clarke asks in a panic.

"Today. We have to tell them you're alive." We all move back to the pod. Raven reaches inside, "The radio's gone." She says, moving back to face the other three.

"That jackass." Nova curses. She squeezes her hand into a fist and punches the pod. She hisses in pain as the sensitive skin on her knuckles comes into contact with the metal. 

Clarke reaches over to Nova in concern but Nova pushes her away, "I'm fine. We have to head back. We need to find him."

 *_*_*_*_*_*

 Spotting Bellamy, Nova quickly runs over and punches the older boy across the face. She shoves him against a tree and pulls out her knife, holding it against his neck, "I should kill you." She hisses out, glaring.

Bellamy glares back but doesn't say anything, knowing that he deserves this. "Where the hell is it Bellamy?" Clarke asks from behind Nova.

"Where's what?" He questions, playing dumb.

"They're getting ready to kill three hundred people up there to save oxygen, and I can guarantee you it won't be council members. It'll be working people, your people."

"Where's the radio?" Finn asks.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Bellamy says once more.

"Stop playing dumb Blake." Nova says through clenched teeth.

"Blake? Bellamy Blake? They're looking everywhere for you." Raven says.

Nova turns her head to look at the girl but doesn't stop pressing her knife to his throat. "Why are they looking for him?" Clarke asks.

"Shut up." Bellamy grunts out.

"He shot Chancellor Jaha." Raven replies.

"That's why you took the wristbands. Needed everyone to think we're dead." Clarke says.

"All that whatever the hell we want? You just care about saving your own skin." Finn glares at Bellamy.

Nova scoffs and finally backs away, shaking her head. "Where the hell is the radio Bellamy?" She asks.

Bellamy rolls his eyes," Jaha deserved to die. You all know that."

"Yeah, he's not my favorite person either, but he isn't dead." Raven replies.

"What?"

"You're a lousy shot."

Clarke steps closer to Bellamy, "Bellamy, don't you see what this means? You're not a murderer. You always did what you had to do to protect your sister. That's who you are. And you can do it again by protecting three hundred of your people. Where's the radio?"

Bellamy hesitates, then sighs, "It's too late."

 *_*_*_*_*_*_*

 After regrouping at the camp and bringing more delinquents out to help look for the radio, the group stood in the river where Bellamy threw the radio.

Bellamy moves towards Elara, "It's going to take a long time for Nova to forgive me, isn't it?" He asks.

Elara looks at him, "Why does that matter to you?"

Bellamy shrugs, "I don't know. I guess it was kinda nice with her not hating me all the time. But I fucked up big time."

"Yeah, you did."

"Are you mad at me?"

"Yes. But I don't hold grudges. I know you did it to protect Octavia."

Bellamy nods, "Hey! I found it!" Jones calls bringing Elara and Bellamy's attention away from each other.

They all run over, "Can you fix it?" Clarke asks Raven.

"Maybe, but it'll take half the day just to dry out the components to see what's broken." Raven answers.

"Like I said, it's too late." Bellamy replies.

Clarke marches up to Bellamy and shoves his chest, "Do you have any idea what you did? Do you even care?"

"You asked me to help. I helped."

"Is there any other way we can let them know that we're alive?" Nova asks, stopping any arguing.

"You mean without a radio?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, I have an idea." Raven replies, smiling brightly at Nova. "You're a genius."

Nova shrugs, "I've been called a lot of things but never a genius." She then flashes one of her rare smiles, "I like it."

Elara can't help the laugh that escapes her lips. 

 *_*_*_*_*_*

 As night falls, the group of delinquents get ready to launch flares. The group quickly gets everything set up and lights the flares. The rockets blast off, the delinquents all looking up at them in awe. 

Clarke, Bellamy, Elara, and Nova stand next to each other watching the rockets light up the sky. "You think they can see it from up there?" Bellamy asks the girls.

"I don't know. I hope so." Clarke replies.

"Well, we'll find out soon enough." Nova says.

"Can you wish on this kind of shooting star?" Clarke asks. The three others turn to give her questioning looks, "Forget it."

They turn their heads back to the flares, "I wouldn't even know what to wish for. What about you?" Bellamy questions.

"I would wish for my parents to be here with me." Elara says.

Nova hums, "I would want to go back in time."

"For what?" Bellamy asks.

"So that I never went to councilman Abraham's place."

"Didn't he die from a heart attack?" Elara asks.

"Nope. He's the guy I killed."

"Didn't you say he deserved it though? Why would you want to stop yourself from killing him?"

Nova shakes her head, "That’s not what I- Forget it. It’s not important.”

[girlinthepictureframe]

The Briefest Kiss Part 11

Early March

Alex dropped his duffle bag and the carry-on carelessly into the corner of his mother's living room before kicking off his shoes and tossing his jacket away. “It's a fucking mess out there,” he grumbled, “so much rain and wind! Should have picked a different weekend to visit!” 

“Language, dear,” admonished his mother. “And whatever happened to the coat rack in the hallway? Has that vanished or do you expect your jacket to grow legs and walk there by itself?”

He took a deep breath, bit his tongue and forced himself to smile. “No, mother. Of course not. I'll go hang it there right away.” His father watched the whole exchange with a subtle grin. Alex returned it just as subtly. “Any chance there's some dinner left?”

“You'll have to check for yourself,” Penny said, eyes drawn to the television in front of her. “Oh, I knew it! Didn't I tell you, David? I did tell you. That actress and that musician...they were smooching around the entire time behind everyone's back! Alex, you know him, don't you? Tell me, is this true?”

He took a quick glance at the tv – some gossip show – and rolled his eyes as he headed for the kitchen. “I really don't know him that well.” He knew him well enough, but telling his mother that would mean he'd have to spend the rest of the evening filling her in on all the gory details of what Alex happened to know was one very messy affair. “Couldn't tell you.” He pulled the fridge open, noticed the giant casserole dish and the tiny little piece of lasagna that was left in it. It barely counted as more than a bite. “Did you guys eat an entire lasagna? You knew I was coming over,” he complained, his stomach rumbling. “Could have left me a bigger piece!” 

“We would have,” called Penny, “but the guys were very hungry.”

“What guys? Who else was here?” Who had dared to stroll into his home, take a seat in his chair and eat his lasagna? 

“Miles had dinner with us,” called his father. “He helped me clean out the garage and he and I worked up quite an appetite! And we really didn't know what time you'd get here.” 

Alex heard the words dinner, garage and appetite but none of those really registered. No, his focus was directed solely on the name 'Miles'. There was no way they were talking about his Miles, was there? 'Cause his Miles had no reason to be here. Right? His Miles wouldn't come here, out of the blue, just to help his dad with the garage, would he? “What...who...which...Miles Kane?”

“Yes, dear,” called his mother, a hint of annoyance in her voice. “I'm trying to watch this. He's upstairs, in your room. I told him he could wait around for you if he liked.”

Miles was here? Upstairs? Waiting for him? Alex forgot everything else and sprinted up the hallway's stairs towards his room. He flung the door open, stepped inside and there he was indeed. In the flesh. Miles Fucking Kane. His Miles. Well, the 'his' part of it was debatable, but it was Miles. On the floor, next to the bookshelf, his back against the side of the bed, facing away from the door. He was wearing headphones, strumming something on one of his old electric guitars which usually sat collecting dust in the corner. 

Alex didn't know what to do. Should he make his presence known? He wanted to, but he also wanted to hear what Miles was playing. And once he'd announce himself, Miles would stop playing. Worse, maybe Miles would leave. Then what? Before he could finish his downward spiral into mental despair, Miles took off the headphones, turned around and flashed him a radiant grin. “Took you long enough to get here!” 

It was as though a bomb had detonated right in front of him. So many thoughts rushed to his head at the same time. Questions, observations, more questions! Why was he smiling at him? Why wasn't he mad or melancholic? Why was here at all? Obviously he'd waited for him to show up, which meant he'd come all the way to Sheffield to see him! How did Miles even know he'd be in Sheffield when he'd just yesterday decided that for himself? And why on God's green earth did he look so fucking sexy in that boring black shirt?! Alex reached out to hold on to the door's frame, unsure what the next step would be. Miles' presence was overwhelming him at the moment. 

“I come in peace,” offered Miles and jumped upwards into a standing position. He looked so energetic and happy that Alex wondered if he'd forgotten about a crucial moment in their badly damaged relationship. Last time Alex saw him they didn't even shake hands after the clock had struck midnight. Now here he was, smiling like the happiest goldfish ever. Alex realized he'd yet to say a single word.

“It's been a while,” Miles continued, straightening out his shirt and jeans as he walked around the bed, and came to a stop in front of him. “Should I reintroduce myself?” A chuckle slipped past his lips. “Hi, I'm Miles.” He held out his hand for Alex. 

And now Alex was done for. His jaw dropped, his eyes darted towards the outstretched hand and he all but collapsed against the doorframe. “Am I dreaming right now? Is this a joke?” 

Miles sighed. And dropped his hand. “It's really me,” he assured him, a little less chipper than a moment ago. “Are you okay? Would you like to sit down?”

“Don't make fun of me!” 

“I'm not,” professed Miles. “I'm just a bit worried. You look a little pale around the nose.”

“Can you blame me?” Alex detached from the frame and closed the door behind him, made his way past Miles and took a seat on his bed. “We barely talk for half a year and suddenly you show up, cracking jokes, looking like that?”

“Looking like what?” Miles frowned, glanced down at his attire and scrunched his nose. “A bit dusty, maybe. Helped your dad in the garage. Other than that, I think I look fine!” 

“Damn fine,” shot Alex. 

Miles smiled smugly. “Yeah?”

“Don't!” Warned Alex sternly, even pointing a finger at him. His voice turned angry. “That's not— We're not at a point in our relationship where we do that!”

“Do what?”

“Fucking flirt!” 

Miles looked away, a bit of a blush on his cheeks. “I wasn't flirting, Al. I swear. I apologize if it came across that way. It was in no way my intention to make you feel uncomfortable.” He walked up to the bed and took a seat next to him, albeit at a reasonable distance. “This is just me, trying to get past all that awkwardness. I'm nervous and jittery and I'm working without a script. I genuinely didn't mean to upset you!”

Alex's heartbeat slowly but steadily sank to a normal rate. He felt a little less out of place and was beginning to adjust to Miles' presence. Knowing that he was nervous helped immensely. “Why are you here?” He asked, afraid of the answer. Did he come to end it all? Was he fed up waiting for Alex to find answers?  

“Because I bloody fucking miss you,” he admitted, repeating the words that Alex had spoken to him a few weeks ago. “Somebody had to make the first step and I know you're still searching for the right words to say and I decided to no longer wait for you to find them.” He turned his head to look at Alex. “We really messed up, didn't we?”

Alex met his eyes. “Big time.” It felt so strange to be near him, to have him in reaching distance. He'd longed for him so often, but now that he was actually here, he didn't quite know what to do with that.

“Remember when we first decided to make an album together? Seems like a lifetime ago.” A distant, vague smile appeared on Miles’ lips. “I asked you what would happen if we failed, if people would laugh at it. Remember what you said to me?”

Alex tried. “You and I are too talented to fail?”

Miles chuckled. “Well, I'm sure you said that, too. But, actually, you told me that whatever happened, it would happen to us, together. We would succeed together and we would mess up together, but as long as we remained together, we would be able to handle everything.” 

The memory brought a smile to Alex's lips as well. He kept holding Miles' gaze, savored the warmth and the empathy he found in it. He'd barely spent a few minutes in his presence, but he could already feel the cold, winter clouds, which had kept his mood in a perpetual state of anguish, making room for the first hints of sunshine, a sunshine he had feared he might never see again.

“Back in Paris,” Miles continued, trying to find his voice and his nerves, “you told me you don't think I regarded you kindly after what had happened. Those words have been stuck in my head ever since. You believe that this is your mess. You believe you're to blame for all of it. That's not true, Alex. We were both there. And we're equally at fault. This is my mess as well. I could have told you that back then, I could have taken that burden from your shoulder, but I didn't. I was hurt and selfish and confused, and I shouldn't have acted that way. I hope that one day you can forgive me for that. I'm truly sorry and I promise you, I will never, ever allow you feel that way ever again!”

“I forgive you,” blurted Alex. “Done.”

“Al—”

“I mean it, Miles. I forgive you!” The next words sprung from him so rushed, so desperately, he even sounded breathless. “Do you think you can ever forgive me for walking out that night?”

“I already have,” said Miles. 

The weight of the entire moon and then some lifted from Alex's shoulders at the sound of Miles' words. For the first time since that night, since walking out and closing that hotel room door, Alex felt as though he could take a deep breath again. The feeling of that was beyond anything he'd ever experienced. 

“I'd like to be your friend again,” continued Miles, a little braver now, his voice a bit stronger. “But there are a few things you need to know first. And maybe a thing or two that require your forgiveness. Remember when you told me you thought I had feelings for Alexa?”

Alex blinked. “Miles...I thought we got over that years ago?”

“We never discussed it. We just forgot about it eventually. It the greater scheme of things, it was such a little, stupid thing but it haunted us, it haunted me, for so long. Because I never spoke my truth to you. I allowed things to get awkward because I didn't want you think I'm a fool.”

Alex didn't understand why Miles was bringing that old story up again. It had all been so weird back then. Miles had barely hung out with him for weeks and months afterwards. And a fool? Why would he ever consider him a fool?

“You asked me why I always hung around with you and Alexa instead of spending time with my girlfriend back then. I never gave you an honest answer. It wasn't because of Alexa. I wanted to be around you. It was a time in my life where I wasn't very comfortable with myself. I was struggling, trying to find my place in this world. When I was with you, though, I felt good and happy and a little less lost. You made me feel less lost. I should have told you all of that back then. But I was too scared that you would laugh. Not because you had ever laughed at me before. But because I was so insecure.”

“I would have never thought that of you! I would have felt honored if you had trusted me with your worries.” He would have loved him even more for it. Oh how he wanted to reach out! How he longed to touch Miles, to let his hands say what he believed his words conveyed so clumsily! “Miles...”

“I have to finish this, Al. I have to get this stuff off my chest. I don't want to make the same mistake twice, even though I fear I already have. I can't imagine my life without you. The last months were awful and depressing. I miss having you around. Even when we're busy and on opposite sides of the world, I need to know that you're never more than a phone call away. And I need to know that I can share all of my feelings with you. I want you to my friend again. I want us to be best friends again. I understand that we can't get there right away, that it'll take time and effort. But I'm willing to fight for our friendship. So, at the risk of sounding foolish or laughable, this is me being honest: That night in the hotel...” Miles gulped hard. “It wasn't a drunken escapade, or a spur-of-the-moment thing. Ever since that kiss in Paris almost three years ago, the idea of you and me had been on my mind. By the time we met in that elevator, I had felt an attraction towards you for quite a while and I had fought it for just as long. But acting on it...I had never planned on doing that. I was too scared to lose you. And I almost did lose you,” whispered Miles.

Miles' confession floored Alex. For half a year he'd thought that he'd corrupted Miles, that he'd somehow used him for his own salacious desires. It had never occurred to him that Miles had felt the same feelings he had felt. The urgency to grab his hand, to squeeze it, to reassure, was threatening to overpower him, but he didn't dare to make physical contact. So he continued trying to express himself with words. “If you're a fool than so am I. I must admit that the thought of you and me had also been lingering in my head for a long time. And it occurs to me just now that we need to work on our communication skills,” he joked. Or tried, at least. When Miles smiled back at him, Alex felt a bit more brave. He wrung his hands nervously. “I have felt the same attraction.”

Miles looked down at his hands, almost scared. “It hasn't gone away,” he murmured. 

Here they were, those honest words that Alex had spent the last months searching for. And Miles was speaking them to him. It must have been so hard for his friend to admit that, thought Alex. Taking a deep breath, he swallowed all of his doubts and fears and decided to be brave as well. “No, it hasn't gone away.”

After a moment of silence, Miles turned towards Alex and gave a slight, almost helpless shrug. “But it almost cost us our friendship,” he said, stressing that point again. “And if the last months have taught me anything, then that l do not like my life when you're not in it. So we have to figure out a way to be friends again. If you want that,” he added.

“You doubt that?” Alex shook his head. “The last months were hell, Miles. Of course I want you back in my life! You belong in my life. It’s not my life when you're not in it!”

“Guess that means we may need some actual boundaries, to not mess it up again,” he quipped, not joking though. “No kisses in elevators.”

“Or on stage, or anywhere else,” supplied Alex, imagining what this new form of friendship with Miles would look like. Certainly less adventurous. Far more serious. “No sharing beds.”

“Or bunks, or even chairs” Miles added. “No inappropriate touching.”

“Just the appropriate kind,” nodded Alex. “The platonic kind.”

“All platonic. Let's try to be regular, normal, boring friends for a start.”

“And work our way back to best-friends status,” suggested Alex.

Miles nodded. “Exactly.”

Alex and Miles sat next to each other for a long while, not touching, just holding eye-contact. The platonic kind – or as much as prolonged eye-contact could could ever be considered platonic. He and Miles were friends again. Or getting there. A deep and dark cloud of sorrow slowly let go of its hold on Alex's heart. Tiny step by tiny step, his world was beginning to right itself. Miles was back. The sun was rising again. Brighter days were ahead. All was good. Wasn't it? 

Well, of course. Except, thought Alex, as he continued to gaze deeply into Miles' infinite eyes, edging entirely too close to the very boundaries that had set not even a minute ago, it was also the end of his most guarded, most well-protected dream – a dream so remote and so thoroughly hidden that he had barely even put it into words. 

He'd never be with Miles again. 

He'd never again taste the softness of his lips. He'd never again feel the warmth of his breath crash against the willingness of his flesh. He'd never again experience the perfection of a night spent in his arms. And he'd never, ever know what it would feel like to wake up next to him, skin glued to skin, tangled and entwined, happy and in love. He'd never get the chance to love him as a lover.

Alex made a hard cut and shoved that dream back to the dark corner into which he'd banned it ever since it had first crossed his mind. Then he barricaded it behind boulders of granite and sprinkled the surrounding area with landmines full of memories. Memories of him and Miles not speaking. Memories of him and Miles not being part of each others lives. Memories of him missing Miles so badly that he had almost drowned in misery. At last, he cut the light, dropped a curtain and burned the directions. 

He and Miles were friends again.

That would have to be enough. More could never be and less would never suffice. And so he tried himself at being a friend. “You ate my dinner?”

Miles let out a breath and smiled. He looked so grateful. And then he grinned. “I was hungry.” 

Alex grinned, too. “Fucker.”

“Language, dear!” Shouted Penny Turner from the other side of the door. 

For the first time after a very long, very glum time, Alex and Miles shared a loud and heartfelt laugh. It felt like the start of something new. Miles got up, straightened his limbs and smiled at Alex. “How long do you suppose she's been standing there?”

Alex dropped backwards onto the bed and covered his face with both arms. “Ugh! Probably followed me upstairs and heard everything we said.” He rolled over on his stomach, looked down the side of his bed and spotted one of his old notepads, which Miles had been scribbling into earlier. He also noticed a chewed-on guitar pick, which made him smile as he picked it up, an empty bottle of water, a pencil,  headphones and the electric, which Miles had carefully placed against the bookshelf. But none of those things piked his curiosity as much as his old biology book did. The very one which he'd wanted to toss into the trash after Christmas, last year. He picked it up, flipped through it. “Hey, what did you need this for?” 

“The notes,” said Miles as he walked around the bed and sat back down on the floor next to it. He picked up the guitar. His eyes darted across the carpet.

“Looking for this?” Alex held up the pick between two fingers. When Miles reached for it, he pulled his hand back. “What notes?”

Miles' face lit up with a saucy smirk. “Your notes.” He reached for it again. 

Alex surrendered. Miles grabbed it. Their her hands touched for the first time in months. A slow-burning, breath-stealing, mind-blowing fire spread through every last inch of Alex's body and it took all of his strength, all of his willpower, not to fist Miles' hair, haul his face against his and kiss the living daylights right out of him. He let go of the pick, quickly withdrew his hand and watched as the thing dropped to the floor.  Then his eyes flew back up, zeroed in on Miles and he blurted out, “I didn't flinch!” 

Miles, looking a bit dazed himself, burst out laughing. He turned back around, leaned back against the bed and rested his head against the mattress. “I fear I did,” he admitted. 

Alex rolled on his back, dropped his head next to Miles and tried hard to ignore his friend's cologne. Damn sensual scent. If this friendship was supposed to prosper, Miles would have to stop smelling so fucking good! 

“Feels weird to touch you,” confessed Miles, fiddling with the guitar in his lap. “Gotta be honest. Not weird-weird. Just...because of...you know...and also because it's been a while.”

“It's been too long,” said Alex, bothered by it. “Think we'll ever be as comfortable around each other as we used to be?”

“Sure hope so.”

“Miles?”

“Hm?”

“Will you do me a favor? You can't ask why, because you know why, and it's embarrassing enough that I have to ask at all, but...”

“I'll do it,” promised Miles.

“Stop wearing that cologne.”

“The...?” Silence fell over them for a minute. “Oh. Under one condition.”

Alex frowned. “What?”

“No leather jackets when you know I'm around.”

“Okay,” agreed Alex.

“Okay,” said Miles. 

Alex aimlessly stared at the ceiling for a bit. “Oh, one more condition. You have to tell me about those notes!” He felt the mattress vibrating from Miles' laughter. “I mean it!”

“I am being fully honest with you, Al! There are notes in this book of yours that I need.” Miles took the book and held it up. “This one is quite a good book! So informative!” 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Alex tilted his head to look at him. “It's got chapters about, like, osmosis, or photosynthesis! Some shit about genetics. There's a very graphic picture of a dead, cut-open fish in it. And not one single page of sex-ed, by the way, if that's what you were hoping for! This book sucks! It's a fucking old biology book. There are no notes in there that could possibly be of interest to you. I know, cause I'm the one who scribbled down all the notes that are in there!” Miles shook his head, still laughing. Alex loved the sound of it, had missed it so much. It almost made him forget that Miles was laughing at him. Almost. “Come on, Miles. Tell me! At least show me the notes you're talking about. Tell me the chapter in which I can find them!”  

“Nope.” 

A rumbling sound filled the room. Miles looked sheepishly at his stomach.

Alex scoffed. “You got some bloody nerve to be hungry right now!”

“Hey, that was a lot of cleaning up we did in that garage. Your dad told me you were supposed to help him but your train kept getting delayed. How come you were so late? I got here by train this morning; there were no delays!” 

“No,” agreed Alex, “there were none. I told him I'd arrive late afternoon. He used you, my friend! He played you good. Did dad call you and tell you I'd be here today? Did he plan this whole thing?”

“I called your mom last night to find out where I could find you. I didn't want to call you, since I didn't want to have this conversation on the phone. She told me you'd be here by early morning and so I got me a ticket and came here.”

“They both played you,” concluded Alex. Miles's stomach rumbled again. Then Alex's joined in in solidarity. 

“Who is hungry now, huh?”

“I deserve to be hungry,” proclaimed Alex as a matter-of-fact as he hopped off the bed and stood in front of Miles, holding out his hand for him to help him get up. “I'm not the one who ate all that lasagna!”

“We left you some, didn't we?” Miles grabbed Alex's hand, got up and then stared at his hand as it still held on to Alex's. 

Alex stared as well, then abruptly let go. “Still weird, right?”

“Yeah. It'll get better.”

“Hopefully soon. I plan on publicly hugging you on your birthday,” joked Alex, “but considering all that current weirdness, onlookers might start laughing!” 

“Let's do a test run,” suggested Miles and before Alex could even react, let alone agree or disagree, Miles had already wrapped his long arms around him and squeezed him tightly. 

It was weird. And it took him a minute to return the hug. But then it got better. And less awkward. Both became a bit less stiff and bit more comfortable. Alex wrapped his arms closer around Miles, allowed his eyes to drift close and he breathed in deeply, finding pure joy in finally being close to his Miles again. He felt the slight stubble on Miles' cheek rubbing against that of his own and even though it was intoxicating and erotic, it was also familiar and relaxing and it made him feel like coming home after the longest, hardest day. So he ignored all that was traitorous and focused instead of all that was good and he managed. And the rest of the awkwardness went away.

They slowly let go of each other. “Not bad,” said Miles. He smiled. 

“No,” agreed Alex. “Not bad at all.” He smiled as well. “Mi?”

“Hm?”

“Thank you for coming here.”

“Anytime.”

Spoiler for the next part: 

“Every night he didn’t spend in your arms,” whispered Miles, leaning into her to make sure she was the only one who heard, “he spent in mine.”