#i’m closing 7 nights in a. row yuck

[awsugar]

how am i supposed to be at work at a time like this. on the first day of mcr tour.

[byeongqueen]

Bang Chan SFW Alphabet

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Pretty affectionate, but mostly in private. He likes those moments to stay intimate.

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

He was the upperclassman that helped you for an assignment, that turned into the really good friend who would always cheer you up, and listen to you when you need to, to then being your boyfriend.

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

He likes to have you on his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around you, pulling your body as close to him as he can.

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Doesn’t mind the idea of settling down, but after the group stops, or at least gets less active, because he wants to fully enjoy life with you.

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He could probably come out a little cold, but just because of how hurt he his, that he has to do that to you.

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Either wouldn't really want to, of you’d both stay at the fiancee stage for a long time. He doesn’t really want to put your relationship under the spotlight.

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

So soft, whether its in his touch, or his way of acting towards you. He’ll always make sure you’re fine and happy.

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

His hugs are warm, soft and comforting. If he hugs you because you’re upset about something, he’ll talk softly in your ear, almost like a whisper, and maybe sing to you.

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

Pretty fast I think. He’s also the kind to ask if you still love him a few times a day, just to be sure you aren’t fed up of him or his tiring life (but honestly who could get tired of Bang Chan)

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

Not really jealous, but can be a bit self conscious? Like some time you’d be talking about how much fun you had with a colleague at work and he’d worry a little. But he would never tell you to not hang out or talk with someone, you well being comes first.

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Soft little pecks, literally everywhere. Likes to kiss your forehead and head a lot.

He likes it when you come up and kiss his cheek out of the blue, while on your tippy toes, it makes you look cute.

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Just as protective as he is of you. He would probably be a bit scared at first, to hurt them. But once he gets to know them and see how much they like him, he’ll try his best to make them laugh, and have fun.

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Pretty simple mornings. On a few occasions he’d like to try and make a small breakfast for you.

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Lots of cuddling, watching movies, after having dinner together. He thrives for simple evenings at home, when he barely ever does that at the studio.

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He’s pretty open about himself, but the deeper things you’d have to gain his trust before knowing it. He only opens up to those who he has a great feeling with, meaning you, his members, and a few friends.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Very patient, well, living with 7 children he has to be!

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He is a monster, he remembers everything, even the smallest details you would yourself forget.

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

The first time he saw you front row at one of their concert. He couldn’t take his eyes off of you, and Jisung had to tap his shoulder to bring him back with them.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He isn’t that jealous, but he is quite overprotective from time to time. He has been through some rough times, and he doesn’t want that ever happening to you. He always asks you how your day went.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He would try hard. When he’s here, expect a lot of flowers, he’d also bring back little gifts for you from every country they visit.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Thinking he’s not enough? (I feel like I never put bad “habits” here, I’m the worst). He has a tendency to be really hard on himself, in various aspects of his life.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Like a 4/10, he likes to look good for you, but knows that you don’t care that much

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Completely incomplete. You’ve been a huge part of his life, and even when he goes on tour, he can’t help but feel something is missing.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

He would want to introduce you to the group, as soon as your relationship got serious. He’d often reassure you that the boys would absolutely love you. And they did.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He hates mean people, bullies. If you’re mean to anyone without a reason, he’s probably talk to you about it, and how it makes him feel.

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He tends to sing to you right before he falls asleep. (that’s cute) I also feel like he is a blanket stealer.

[honhonluigi]

Didn't get to ask this before, but... Welcome back! How was your trip?

Thanks! My trip...was a fucking rollercoaster. I had no clue it could be so damn freezing in the desert in late April, but now I know. I flew to Utah in the US to visit my sister. We took my parents and her boyfriend and bounced around some national and state parks there. I did Angel’s Landing at Zion, hiked around some Hoodoo formations at Bryce Canyon, saw the Arches, went to places like Dead Horse Point. Hiked a slot canyon in Capitol Reef. Drove through and camped in Monument Valley during a dust storm. Then we rounded it out with a trip to South Rim of the Grand Canyon (North Rim was closed for the winter) where we did a small section of the Rim Trail until my dad hurt his leg and we had to catch a bus back. 

Like I said, the trip was a god damn rollercoaster. There were times when really good things happened, vs. when really bad things happened. 

I loved all the sights that I saw. It was absolutely gorgeous out there. I got a really interesting book about every known death in the Grand Canyon. I saw a ton of different kinds of wildlife and plants and that was super interesting. 

But, for the most part...I hate driving and it was a road trip. I was pretty much stuck in a car upwards of 4 hours every single day and it fucking sucked. I love camping, but I’m not big on road trips. We did more driving than camping, so that bummed me out. Because of all the driving, we didn’t do nearly as much hiking as I wanted. Like...3 hikes overall maybe? I really wanted to push my physical strength to the point of collapse on this trip but instead I just sat in a car the whole time, driving to various overlooks. Angel’s Landing was the best part, because it was incredibly challenging both physically and mentally. (It’s a long free-climb up the ridge of a huge sheer, narrow rock cliff and I’m deathly terrified of heights. Seriously. If you doubt how horrifying this hike is, look it up on youtube or google images.) That was hands-down the best part of the trip, because I love a challenge. And we hiked one long but not challenging trail in Bryce Canyon. But other than that, it was nothing. I really love hiking and physical activity outdoors. I’ve been stuck inside all winter and I was looking forward to letting out my pent-up energy. But I didn’t get to. 

Not to mention, my sister pretty much ignored me and talked to her boyfriend the whole time, so I was really lonely. Plus, as I said, it was freezing fucking cold all the time. I know “desert is hot in the day and cold at night” and shit, but it wasn’t even warm during the day. It got up to 50 degrees. That was it. And at night it was below freezing. Which to people who are bigger than 5′2″ and weigh more than 86-90 lbs max I’m sure that sounds like pleasant hiking weather, but I have the physique of a chicken bone and I was fucking freezing the whole time. So even in the hikes we did, I couldn’t enjoy myself because it was too cold. Especially because the 50 degree high was at 3-5 PM, and we started our hikes at like...7 AM. So it was still cold. Either I was too freezing to have fun, or I was waddling around in three giant coats, which also wasn’t fun. We had to wake up at 4 AM one morning, and then at like 6 AM every day after. I was used to going to bed at 4 AM so that hit me hard, plus I have insomnia, and both my parents snore really loud. Plus like I said, in one place we camped, the area was hit by a dust storm and all I could do was sit in the parked van from 5 PM to bedtime. That was super boring. Also, my stupid mother insisted that we pack only five outfits for 10 days, but then wouldn’t let us do laundry while there. And she insisted that I pack summery clothes, so I had two emergency pairs of warm pants and guess what I had to wear for 10 days straight? Yuck. I was dirty and disgusting literally the entire time and I hated it. I mean, I can hack it. I’ve been in the wilderness before. But that doesn’t mean I enjoy wearing the same sweaty, dusty pants for 5 days in a row. Then my sister decided to split off early from us and do Bright Angel Trail in GC, but told us that we shouldn’t follow her because we would slow her down. (We still weren’t accustomed to the high elevation yet and got out of breath super easy) So we didn’t. Even though I really wanted to hike into the GC and check out Phantom Ranch or Hermit Camp (which is a different trail but point being, I wanted to hike in the Grand Canyon!!) So instead my parents and I did Rim Trail, which is beautiful, but is flat and mostly paved, and that’s incredibly boring terrain for an experienced hiker looking for a challenge. Then we had to cut it off early because my dad hurt his leg. And in two of the places we camped, on freezing nights, my sister said we “didn’t have time” to make a fire. Which is a really nice way to raise morale and relax after a fucking freezing day of hiking. Then I would go to sleep in the back of the van in a tiny sleeping bag every night, and wake up shivering cold several times in the night because of the freezing temperatures. 

So...as you can see. A huge rollercoaster. I was constantly bombarded with beautiful, amazing scenery and unique wildlife. The sights I saw and places I went were monumental. But every circumstance surrounding those sights was horribly unpleasant and disappointing and almost ruined it for me. Plus I got super fucking sick on the plane rides there and back. 

[mattsammonsez]

Hockey’s Voice

Sometimes you meet people who embody everything you believe makes a good person. Mike “Doc” Emrick is one of those people, and I enjoyed the few times we interacted in the past 13 years.

Mike “Doc” Emrick in his second home. 

When you work in sports broadcasting, your path crosses with the paths of a lot of prominent people, including athletes, coaches, and executives. It’s all part of the job, and admittedly one of the many perks that comes with the territory. While it’s fun to cross paths with these people, there are a select few where you feel blessed that your paths crossed. Mike “Doc” Emrick is one of those people, and you always felt like you knew him and he knew you all your life even if your real life interaction was only 5 minutes. With the announcement from Emrick earlier this week that he is retiring from calling NHL games, I wanted to share a few stories about the times my path fortunately and blessedly crossed with Doc’s.

Like many people my age, we got to know Doc on a regular basis on national television. For me, it was his weekly appearances on the NHL on Fox game of the week in the mid 90’s, as well as numerous New Jersey Devils highlights earlier in the decade as that team was building into a dominant team. In 2005, Doc became the primary voice on the NHL on OLN broadcasts (later Versus, then NBC Sports Network). In 2006, I became the pregame host of Tampa Bay Lightning radio broadcasts, and as I started to settle into my role that season I started gaining new job duties. One of those duties was to pull together guest interviews for our weekly radio show Lightning Hockey Night. In the 2007 playoffs, the Lightning drew the Devils in the first round, and thus my first interaction with Doc would happen as I was trying to get a guest for the program.

We weren’t looking to get Doc on the show as a live guest, but with Doc at the time still calling Devils games I figured he’d be the perfect guest for the show as he was a well-known voice and face even to hockey fans in Florida. Before the morning skate of game 4 with the Lightning up 2-1 in the series, I introduced myself to Doc and asked him if I could get him for just a few minutes to talk about the series. He said he could, and we continued with our usual morning skate routine for the next couple of hours. I hung around the rink until the Devils were done with their skate, and after the locker rooms were closed to the media I approached Doc again to see if he was still able to do a quick interview. This was close to 1 p.m., and with a game starting at 7 or 7:30 that night Doc had plenty of prep to do. Plus his color analyst, the humorous Glenn “Chico” Resch was hungry and wanted lunch. Yet when I politely asked, Doc without hesitation obliged and we sat down in the stands for a few minutes to discuss the series. It was such a special moment, and such a fun interview, I’ve saved it 13 years and counting.

Emrick yucking it up as Jim Carr, the carpet-coiffed play-by-play announcer for the Johnstown Jets in the cult classic film Slap Shot, at Hockeyville USA, 2015.

Fast forward to September 2015. I’m now the Director of Broadcasting & Programming for the Lightning, and I’m on the team plane to Johnstown, Pennsylvania, as the Lightning and Penguins will be squaring off in the first Kraft Hockeyville USA preseason game. Game day was hectic, as the NHL and NBC rolled out the red carpet not only for both teams but for as much Slap Shot as possible since Johnstown was the location of the film shoot 40 years earlier. Along with being that night’s radio engineer for our broadcast, my mission was to pull together as many interviews as possible for a podcast on the event. Knowing the legendary Hanson Brothers would be there, I targeted an interview with them which I was able to score. 

The Cambria County War Memorial Arena was opened in 1950, when comforts such as being able to stretch your legs were not baked into many civic building blueprints. In a tiny locker room I waited for the Hansons to come in, and I did so next to Doc who agreed to also do an interview with me once I was done with the Hansons. The Hansons came in, and not only played the part of their characters well for my interview, but they too were incredibly friendly and great to talk to. While the interview went on, there was that brief fleeting moment in my head; “I’m interviewing three of the greatest hockey movie characters while one of the greatest hockey announcers is sitting in the background watching this.” Quite the moment to say the least. After my conversation with the Hansons, I sat down with Doc to talk to him about what the game meant to him, a former college teacher and newspaper writer in Western Pennsylvania 45 years earlier. You could sense in Doc’s eyes and voice this Hockeyville experience in his old backyard with all the Slap Shot fun and frivolity mixed in was quite the moment for him. The Hanson Brothers and Doc interviews were the cornerstone of my podcast, and all these years later it’s still one of my favorite podcasts of more than 100 I did.

Emrick could make any broadcast better, including a Morning Skate Show in desperate need of some good news in 2018.

Fast forward to May 2018. We’re not in the preseason, we’re in the thick of the postseason, and the Lightning are about to battle the Washington Capitals in the Eastern Conference Final. Prior to game one at the morning skate, Doc and I are two of seemingly 200 people gathering around Alex Ovechkin for pregame interviews. We looked on from a distance, laughing more at the spectacle then actually listening to anything Ovechkin was saying. When the scrum was done, I casually asked Doc if we could have him as a guest on our streaming video program The Morning Skate Show when the series shifted to Washington D.C. for game 3. Doc said he wanted to, we just needed to route the request through NBC public relations, which is always a coin flip on if your wish gets granted. Thankfully for us, it was.

Never before did we need a personality like Doc Emrick like we did then. The Caps humiliated the Lightning for two easy wins in Tampa before the series went to our nation’s capital. In planning for the show, we decided to talk as little as possible about the first two games, and simply turn the show into the Doc Emrick talent show. For almost 45 minutes, Doc talked about everything from the NHL playoffs to memories of AHL games in Halifax 40 years ago when birds in the rafters of the old Halifax Forum pooped on the ice during games. At the end of the show he very quietly but confidently reminded our viewers that if any team was able to get out of 0-2 hole to the Caps, it was the Lightning. It was the reassurance and the fun story telling we all needed, and low and behold the Lightning rallied for three-straight wins before the Caps pulled it together and won the series in seven games on their way to their first Stanley Cup championship. As of 2019, it was still one of the most-watched episodes of the show.

Finally, fast forward to October 2019. Two months earlier, I was informed my position was being “eliminated” at the Lightning, but I refused to be eliminated from the scene. Newly hired to provide a weekly Metro Express podcast to the Philadelphia Flyers (and later the Capitals), I arrived at Amalie Arena for a morning skate prior to a Lightning and Penguins game that was being aired nationally on NBC that night. Once I found out Doc was on the call, I knew I needed to get him for a few minutes to talk Metropolitan Division hockey. I saw Doc sitting in the first couple of rows of seats when I arrived, and I quickly slipped in next to him and asked if I could get his thoughts real quickly. Doc was there to study lines and defensive pairings of both teams, and now at the age of 74 had to double-check all players and facts before putting on another flawless broadcast that night. I was very respectful of his time, and as always he was respectful enough to grant me a few minutes of his busy day.

While there were many similarities to that first interview with Doc in 2007, this time around technology would come back to bite me. Feeling satisfied my iPhone would work as a microphone just fine, I started the interview. Midway through Doc’s first answer, my phone started ringing, cutting off the voice memo app I was using. Thankfully I silenced my phone so it merely buzzed, but in my head I was cursing while Doc was talking. There was no way I was going to ask him to start over again, I was just going to have to eat the moment as I feverishly hung up on the call and pressed record on the voice memo again. While I did this without interrupting Doc’s thoughts, I still got a good 7-8 minutes from him and used it in that week’s show. It was special to connect with Doc again, and I was reminded even as a veteran hockey broadcaster at this time to never ever again do an important interview on my iPhone.

Doc’s retirement announcement didn’t come totally as a surprise to me. I figured with COVID-19 still a factor in our lives for at least the next year or two, the last place a 75-year-old cancer survivor needs to be is in a pressurized airplane cabin or travelling from one cold city to another in the winter. And even though Doc is a pro’s pro, it’s extremely difficult to call a game from a television screen. Whoever is named his successor at NBC has some very big shoes to fill. 

As for me, my career has moved forward from my exit with the Lightning, and while potentially great things await I don’t know if I’ll be able to cover a daily beat in an NHL arena anytime soon. That’s perfectly fine with me, as I’m always looking for a new challenge and can’t wait to see what is ahead for me and my family. That also adds even more emotional value to the times my path crossed with Doc’s path. Hockey fans have been blessed to have him as a prime voice for decades, and I was blessed to interact with him several times in my career. A visit from this doctor was always welcome in the homes and hearts of hockey fans.

[albionscastle]

Red Eye (Jack x Reader

RED EYE

REQUEST FOR @woodlandwitch Reader meets Jack on a long haul flight, at first he comes across as arrogant and they don’t get along at all, but through the course of the flight they bond a bit (eg - sharing things, taking turns to sleep using an empty seat in their row). When they arrive at their transfer destination their connecting flight is postponed so they kind of stick together and decide to share hotel room. Lets just say they get on REALLY well that night. By the end its left ambiguous whether they go their separate ways or decide to see each other again. (But we all kinda know they will). AN: flight time from London to Singapore is app 15 hours

MASTERLIST

You made it to the plane with barely a minute to spare, literally. There were getting ready to shut the doors when you yelled for them to hold up. It wasn’t even your fault, you thought defensively as the attendant checked your ticket, you were on standby and you’d barely had an hour to get your ass to the airport. The flight was a bloody red eye to boot, taking off past 11pm.

Making your way down the aisle to your seat you laughed, remembering you watched the movie the other day, drooling over Cillian Murphy the whole time. Jackson Rippner in all his murderous glory would probably be a damn sight better you thought with a sigh, eyeing the boots currently occupying your seat.

“Excuse me.” you said softly while stowing your overhead luggage.

Nothing. The guy didn’t budge, his hoodie covering his face showing he was either asleep of deliberately ignoring you.

“Sir, excuse me, but that’s my seat.” you said a little louder, earning you a sleepy-sounding grunt as he shifted his feet to the empty seat between you.

Sitting down with a sigh you buckled in and watched the safety demo while your rowmate started snoring softly.

It was going to be a long fucking flight.

The flight attendant came by to check the overheads and seat backs, her stern look now set on the sleeping man.

“Sir, I need you to take your seat properly for take off.” Her no nonsense tone must have gotten through, the man jolting out of sleep, his booted foot coming into contact with your thigh under the arm rest.

“Ow!”

You narrowed your eyes to give the jerk a dirty look as he sat up, rubbing what would be a lovely bruise by the time you landed. Some people just really managed to get under your skin and apparently spending the next 15 hours sitting next to this jackass was going to be an exercise in anger management.

“Shite, sorry. I didna mean tae hit ye luv.” he mumbled, struggling to sit up in the space he had.

You had a quick flash of bright blue eyes as he moved upright to don his seatbelt. He was a tall man, at least 6 foot and you felt the tiniest bit sorry for him being all squeezed in like that. At least you were short enough to stretch out a little. The attendant moved on, your “buddy” slumping against the window, hoodie still obscuring his face. He was snoring again in moments, sleeping through the pilot’s announcements and the plane taxiing out to the runway.

Never a great flier, you closed your eyes as the engines got louder, breathing long and deep against the panic in your chest. The moment as the engine reached its crescendo and the brake was released was the worst and you knew your knuckles were white on the armrests while the metal cylinder hurled you down the tarmac.

Only when the plane had completed its lurching ascent and the seatbelt sign dinged did you manage to pry your fingers off the armrest, opening your eyes with a deep breath. An amused chuckle came from the direction of the window and you turned sharply.

“Firs time?”

He still leaned against the window, only his mouth visible. A mouth curved in a mocking smile. You clenched your jaw, immediately defensive.

“I’ve flown before.” You said tightly. “I’m just not fond of taking off.”

“I’d be more worried about the plummeting tae the ground if ye wan my opinion.”

“Which I don’t.” you snapped.

He simply shrugged and said nothing. You couldn’t tell if he was watching you from underneath that infuriating hoodie and you felt self conscious, even in the dimness of the cabin. Determined to get some sleep you leaned your head against your seat, curling around yourself in an attempt to get comfortable. Dozing off you would wake up after a few minutes, anxious and uncomfortable. No matter what you tried, you just couldn’t settle.

“Can I make a suggestion?”

“Dazzle me.” you murmured, rubbing your eyes.

He waited for a moment as the attendant handed you blankets and pillows, like they were going to help in any way.

“The armrests on this plane go up.” he stated, showing you with the one closest to him. “Jus like tha luv. Now if ye lean yer pillow on the aisle ye can lay oot.”

You weren’t certain, but you tried anyway, surprised when you felt your body relax, even in the cramped fetal position.

“Now I can do this.” he resumed his original position, stretching his legs over yours to rest his feet behind your calves. “Is no perfect but better than before, yeah?”

“Yes, much better.” you agreed reluctantly, still uncomfortable with the intimacy of the position.

“Ye can rest easy lass, I’m dead tae the world, no chance o bein manhandled in yer sleep.”

“You sure about that?”

“Aye, I prefer my women tae be conscious. Get some sleep stranger.”

“Name’s Y/N.” you mumbled, drifting off.

“Jack. Pleased tae meet ye.”

That was the last you heard before sleep claimed you.

Sometime later you opened your eyes against bright sunlight, squinting painfully as you tried to sit up. Your body felt stiff and sore but nowhere near as bad as you’d expected.

“Shite, sorry, didna mean tae wake ye.”

The light went away and you realised Jack had been looking out through the window shade.

“It’s ok.” You yawned. “What time is it?”

“London time or Singapore?”

“Either. No, London.”

“7am London time, fuck only knows wha time it is in Singapore.”

“I was asleep for 7 hours?” you asked incredulously.

Your eyes were gritty and rubbing them was just making it worse. You excused yourself to the restroom, splashing water on your face when you were done. In the mirror you saw a tired woman, shadows under your eyes and hair that was just….yuck. Smoothing it back into submission you made your way back to your seat.

“Feel better?”

“Loads.”

Your stomach chose that moment to gurgle in hunger, embarrassingly loud in the still dim cabin. Probably would have been helpful if you’d eaten anything the day before, not that you’d known you’d be flying around the world in mere hours.

“They said summan about some brekkie in about an hour.”

Reaching forward into your bag you pulled out a couple of muesli bars you’d remembered to throw in at the last moment. The sound of Jack’s stomach gurgling too made up your mind and you held one out to him. He took it eagerly, sitting up straight, the hoodie falling back off a messy pile of golden blonde hair.

“Ye’re an inflight goddess, even if ye do snore.”

“I do not snore.” you huffed indignantly, trying hard not to notice how handsome the man was.

“Sorry tae be the bearer o bad news luv, but yes ye do. No much, but the little grunts are kind of endearin.”

He grinned around a mouthful of chocolate and oats.

“Well at least I don’t snore like a souped up chainsaw.” you sneered, earning you another shrug.

“I never said I didn’t, it’s only ye tryin tae deny yer natural tendencies.”

Arrogant shit. It must have been nice to go through life as confident as he was. Probably had hordes of women falling at his feet too, and for good reason. Movie star good looks and a Scottish accent to die for, you were practically panting yourself.

“So I shouldn’t ignore my natural tendency to smack you in the gob then?”

“Now tha’s uncalled for ye wee spitfire.” he laughed. “Besides Im tae pretty fer ye tae hit.”

“Well someone has a healthy ego.” you couldn’t help but laugh.

“I haf tae make a livin somehow, I’m no smart enough tae be a rocket scientist.” “So, what, you’re a gigolo then?” you snorted.

“Why? Ye in the market fer one?” he raised his brows comically, causing you to dissolve into giggles.

“If I were, I certainly wouldn’t be looking for one on a plane.”

“Not even tae join the mile high club? I hear it’s quite a thrill.” he winked and your cheeks felt hot.

“How much of a thrill can it possibly be?” you retorted, laughing. “ I mean, picture it. That tiny bathroom, no way my ass would be sitting on that nasty sink and yours would be banging against the door cause you’s have to bend those flamingo legs.” you gestured to his long, very nice legs. “And even if all that could be managed, you couldn’t make a sound. Where’s the fun in that?”

You’d surprised him, score one for you.

“Ye’re no wrong lass. But suddenly I have a strong desire tae try it anyway, jus tae prove ye wrong.”

Score one for him.

“No response tae that one then?” he snickered, taking his meal from the attendant, who was definitely making eyes at him.

To his credit he wasn’t paying any attention, already digging into his food with gusto.

“You are so lucky, getting to sit next to Jack Lowden for 15 hours.” she whispered as she handed you your meal.

Who? The name meant nothing to you, but apparently it did to her, she was even sighing as she walked away. You were going to have to Google it when you landed. As for being lucky, well you guessed you could have it a lot worse. Better to sit next to a handsome, funny, albeit slightly arrogant man than the seaty mouth breather you’d spend your last flight ignoring.

The standard airline food sat heavy in your stomach, but you were full and Jack had opened the shade again, the sun bright and warm against your face. With 6 hours more until you landed for your connecting flight you pulled out your book, hoping to lose yourself in its pages.

After 45 minutes you closed it with a sigh, unable to concentrate. Your mind kept wandering, contemplating choices you were making as well as ones you’d made. An anxious lump rose in your throat and for a moment you were a panic attack was imminent.

A sudden jump as the plane hit an air pocket had you white knuckled again, holding your breath until the shaking stopped. The captain’s voice came over the speaker warning of more turbulence to come. Nothing to worry about. Words which were invented for the sole purpose of making you worry more. “Hey Y/N?”

Jack was looking at you, a small smile on his face.

“What can I do you for?”

“Do ye wan tae play a card game? Keep yer mind off it?”

“Keep my mind off what, the fact that everytime this thing shakes it’s possible we might be about to plummet 30,000 feet to a horrible death?”

“No. Well aye, but no like there’s anythin we could do tae change tha. I mean take yer mind off whatever it is botherin ye?”

“Why the fuck not?” you shrugged, turning in your seat.

For the next few hours you played every card game you could think of, plus a few new ones courtesy of your new friend. Instead of making monetary bets, and running out of airline peanuts before the end of the first hand, you bet information. So far you’d learned that Jack was 29, had a ballet-dancing brother, a love for Sinatra and that he liked Scotland better than any place on earth. He’d in turn learned what you did for a living, where you grew up, how much you loathed oysters, your favorite movie, color and your celebrity crush. Admittedly he was much better at cards than you were so you were left somewhat lacking in the information stakes.

As the games had progressed your initial opinion of him had changed. He wasn’t arrogant so much as he was a smart ass, and boy was he quick as a whip with the comebacks. You honestly hadn’t laughed so much in ages and by the time your approach to Singapore was announced, you felt as though you’d known him forever. It hadn’t escaped your notice either that his voice flowed over you like smooth whiskey, the kind of voice you could never get tired of hearing.

“I never did ask ye why ye’re travellin tae Singapore.”

“I’m on my way to Sydney, I have a connection in Singapore.”

For a moment you could have sworn he looked disappointed.

“What about you?”

“Work, I’m here fer three weeks. Are ye off tae Sydney fer work then?”

“No, I’m visiting a friend, long overdue.”

“Ahhh man friend then, aye?” “No, female. We had a falling out some time ago.”

To his credit, Jack didn’t ask any more about it and you offered nothing. She’d called out of the blue and asked you to come, so here you were.

“What sort of work are you doing, Jack?”

He looked a little taken aback for a second before answering.

“We’re makin a film.”

Well that explained the attendant. He had to be an actor, no way a face that handsome was working behind the camera.

“That sounds like…..fun.” you offered, knowing full well anything you said would just sound asinine. “Have you been in anything I might have seen?”

“Ummm, yeah.” he looked confused. “I was in Dunkirk wi yer sweetheart.”

“With Cillian Murphy? No way!” you couldn’t place him, but honestly your eyes had mostly been on Cillian when you saw the movie. Who the hell had Jack played?

You wracked your brain while the Scotsman looked at you dumbfounded. Then suddenly it hit you like a brick wall.

“You were the pilot! The one who crashed.”

“Aye, geeze lass, ye’re no good fer me ego at all are ye?” he laughed.

“Not that you need any help in that department.” you quipped. “The beard threw me off.”

“Not tae mention the fact that ye were tae busy eyballin the love o yer life tae even notice anyone else.”

“I can’t help it, it’s the cheekbones.” you sighed melodramatically, earning a laugh.

Jack crossed his arms over his torso, sticking out his bottom lip in a toddler-worthy pout. You were laughing when you were suddenly struck with the desire to bite it. A shiver ran down your spine as you realized how much you wanted to feel his mouth on your skin.

Where the fuck had that come from?

Almost as though he could read your mind his eyes fixed on you, hooded and full of sultry promise. You wished suddenly that Singapore was your destination, instinctively knowing that were you not catching another flight immediately, he would have you.

And oh God would you let him.

Whatever might have been said next disappeared. It was time to land, to buckle up and prepare for the stomach lurching final descent. Your fingers were wrapped around the armrests again, bracing yourself for your least favorite part of flying.

“Hey luv.” Jack’s voice was soft. “Ye got this.”

His fingers, long and warm pried yours from the armrest, sliding in between. You turned your head as the plane shook, letting his kind blue eyes comfort you, his palm pressed against yours. Your breath mimicked his automatically and you lost yourself to the point where you jolted in surprise as the wheels thudded and squealed onto the tarmac. You’d landed safely at your destination.

It was time to say goodbye.

It was the last thing you wanted to do.

In unspoken agreement you were the last two to deplane, Jack pulling your bag from the overhead for you. His palm was on the small of your back as you walked down the tunnel to customs. He stayed with you as you both went through customs and into the terminal.

“What time’s yer flight tae Sydney?”

“It’s in two hours, not sure what gate yet though.”

“Les go see, I’ll sit wi ye till ye haf tae board.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Nah, I came a day earlier, everyone else arrives tomorrow.”

“Oh, ok.”

No way were you going to say no to two more hours with him.

Of course you weren’t counting on your flight being cancelled. Looking at the red letters on the departure board you felt your anxiety levels rise. What the hell were you supposed to do now? You’d never had a flight cancelled before so you weren’t sure of the protocol.

“Les go tae the airline and see what’s about.”

Clearly many people had the same idea and you spent half an hour in line, laughing half heartedly while Jack tried to cheer you up. The whole thing was easier than you thought and you came away with a new flight leaving the next morning and a voucher for food and accomodation. Apparently flying that close to a tropical cyclone wasn’t something the airline was willing to risk.

“I better go find a hotel and some food.” you laughed, sure that this was the moment you would go your separate ways.

“I’ve got ye straight, ye’re stayin wi me.”

Only his arm reaching in front of you prevented you from walking into a pole as you gaped at him.

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh, I’m not.” he smiled wolfishly. “And I don think ye are either.”

He stepped closer, looking down at you with that same look from the plane. You could smell him this close, feel the warmth that radiated from him. He was so freaking tall, all lean and perfect, and his thighs…..

“Alright then, lead the way.” you said with way more confidence than you felt, glowing as his smile widened.

He placed a hand on your shoulder as you made your way through the terminal, telling you about his role and he seemed genuinely excited about it. Your nervousness had faded away before you even reached the doors to hail a cab. He was just so easy to be with.

The hotel was buy the water, way more luxurious than you’d expected. He’d been booked in on the 10th floor, high enough that the bustle of the city below was muffled, even on the balcony. The view was spectacular and the tropical air was warm and sultry.

Ever a gentleman, Jack offered you the shower first and you were grateful to wash 15 hours of travel off you. Honestly, you'd both been beginning to stink and gorgeous as he was, BO wasn't appealing on anyone. You stayed on the balcony while he showered, your mind only wandering a few dozen times to the wet, naked man in the bathroom. Deep in thought you didn't notice at first when he was done, his presence not registering until you felt his fingers brush the skin of your knee.

Opening your eyes you were met with his grin, the sun making his still damp hair glisten. He wasn't just handsome, you thought, he was take your breath away gorgeous. And he was yours, at least for the next few hours.

“Do ye wan tae venture oot tae eat or stay in?”

He sat on the bench beside you, pulling your legs over his lap.

“Stay in.’ you said immediately, no way were you wasting a second of this.

He’d obviously had the same idea, producing a room service menu and phone instantly. His hand stroked the length of your shin absentmindedly as he placed your orders and you almost nodded off, he was just that comforting.

“Food’ll be here in 30ish.” he murmured, putting the phone aside and stretching out his legs.

“Do we even know what time it is here?” you yawned.

“No really, but I did make sure ye haf a wake up call fer yer flight.”

“Oh, that’s sweet, thanks.”

“Don go tae sleep on me lass, ye need tae eat.” he grinned, fingers tickling the back of your knee.

You jerked, laughing as he held your legs down with one hand, the other torturing your ticklish skin.

“I’m awake!” you giggled, wiggling your legs in his grasp.

He smiled at you, one of those smiles that took your breath away and you stared back, enthralled by everything about him. You knew you would never forget how blue his eyes were, how straight his nose or how his bottom lip pouted out crookedly.

If you never saw him again after tonight you would be sorry.

Your food came and was eaten as you shared various stories. Jack talked about how his life was changing, how much less privacy he had. He said it was the tradeoff for doing what he loved but you got the feeling that he wasn’t quite ok with it. Honestly though, you could have listened to him forever, there was so much passion in him, and just as much for the stories you shared with him. This was a man who wasn’t afraid to really live.

It turned out to be only 5pm when the service cart was rolled back into the hall, too early to sleep for your flight at noon, so you decided on a movie. You were starting to overthink a little, had you misread his interest? You were sure you hadn’t but still, 40 minutes into the film and you sat apart on the room’s small love seat, the anticipation almost killing you.

Your hand rested on the cushion between you, a hair’s breadth away from his, just waiting. The air was thick around you, your whole body aware of him, of his every breath. When his pinkie finger brushed against yours you shivered, that one small touch setting you alight. The movie played on and Jack’s gaze never wavered from the screen, even as his fingers traced yours gently, holding your hand against his contentedly.

The movie finished and you honestly couldn’t have said what it was about, your only focus being on the man beside you. You both sat quietly as the credits rolled, him still holding your hand and you wondering if he needed or wanted some kind of sign from you.

Thankfully it appeared he’d been doing his own thinking and when you finally moved to face him you were met with that same heated look from the plane. He leaned forward, pressing his lips against your cheek, then the corner of your mouth gently.

When you sighed he moved like lightning, covering your mouth, sliding his tongue inside to roam freely. He cupped the back of your head with one hand, holding you still as he pulled himself closer, kissing you deeper. Responding, you pushed yourself toward him, running your tongue over the inside of his mouth, tasting the mint from his toothpaste.

He moaned against your mouth and gripped your fingers tightly, your free hand reaching up to grasp at his neck. His skin was warm and smooth there and you stroked your fingers up and down between the neck of his shirt and his hairline. You didn’t resist when he pushed you backwards, your back hitting the cushions. He laid over your side, running a hand down to your knees and pulling your legs up over his so you were completely horizontal. His feet were still on the floor and your thighs resting over one of his hips. It felt so intimate and yet not enough, not by a long shot.

Jack’s mouth moved away from yours and starting making a trail up and down your neck. You bared it for him with a sigh, running your fingers over his bare arm. His hand splayed on your stomach making you squirm and you kissed his neck, using your tongue to taste his skin. You couldn’t decide what tasted better, his neck or his mouth, though when he took your lips back again and you tasted mint you knew. His mouth, definitely his mouth. Your tongue flicked over his, your senses overwhelmed and you knew you never wanted to experience anything but this, ever.

No matter how foolish it might be.

Bringing your hands up to his face you pulled his head away until you were a few inches apart. You were breathing heavily as you stared at his flushed face, but you saw it register in his eyes that you were stopping him. He nodded once and laid his head down on your shoulder, his fingers still stroking the bared skin of your belly.

“I’m sorry.” he whispered.

“Don’t be.” you smiled, brushing your fingers through the hair at his temple. “I just need a moment.”

You were worried that you you were getting too involved emotionally. A step back out of your head was what you probably needed right now. You wanted this, so much, you were only flesh and blood after all and he was…..well fucking perfect if you were honest.

He moved so he was stretched out on the loveseat, half on you, legs tangled together. You smiled again to encourage him, your eyes closing when he moved closer again, playfully grabbing your bottom lip between his teeth and running his tongue over the spot when he pulled away.

Jack’s arm moved under you, cradling your head against his shoulder. Immediately wrapped in a sense of security and comfort, you breathed him in deeply. Giving in you smiled to yourself and wrapped your arms around his waist, gently rubbing his side through his shirt. His body radiated heat wherever he touched you and you would have been perfectly content to stay just like this forever.

“I like yer shirt.” he whispered in your ear, one long finger tracing the line of your neck.

You looked down at yourself and groaned.

“You would.” you laughed, your sleeping shirt had a picture of Cillian Murphy on it.

He smiled, you could feel it against your cheek and you shivered slightly. So he smiled again, this time gently pressing his lips against your skin.

Thunder boomed suddenly and you could hear the sound of rain falling gently outside. You ran a hand down his cheek as the thunder boomed. Then you got an idea.

Pushing him back you stood up and took hold of his hands.

“Come with me.”

He stood up, a bemused smile on his face and let you lead him to the balcony door. When you’d opened it, you tugged him out into the warm rain.

“What are ye aboot ye daft woman?” Jack laughed as the rain started to hit his face..

You stepped up to him, draping your arms around his neck and allowing the rain to wash over you both.

“Checking something off my bucket list.”

“Wha, gettin yerself knackered fer yer flight?” he laughed, winking to show he was just teasing.

“No you dope.” you chuckled. “To dance in the rain with a handsome man.”

“Well shite I better help ye find one then so ye’re no stuck w’ the likes o me.” You simply shook your head, resting your forehead on his wet shoulder. He slid his hands to your hips, pulling you flush against him. Together you swayed to an imagined beat, moving seamlessly as the rain fell around you. Jack’s sigh against your neck made you smile and you held him tighter. Pulling back he looked down at you, water trickling down his face and neck.

“Lass we’re soaked.” he laughed.

“Yup.” you looked down to where your clothes clung wetly to your body. “Feels good doesn’t it?”

“Fuck yeah!” he shouted, grabbing you up and spinning while you both laughed, water flinging out all around you.

When he finally stopped, you fell back onto the cushioned bench and lay there panting for several seconds. When you finally chanced a look at him you saw him sprawled out beside you, his hair wet and flattened to his head, clothing clinging to his body. His eyes were closed and his head back against the cushions, he looked, in a word, breathtaking. One blue eye opened and peered at you, catching you in your perusal and you flushed as he chuckled.

“See summan ye like?” he asked, one eyebrow lifted.

Hell yes you did, a lot of things in fact. So many that you could have taken all night to catalogue them all. So you simply continued to gaze at him, watching as he propped himself up on his elbows and raised his face to the rain.

Biting your lip, you held your breath at the sight of him. When he turned to look at you again you gave up, crawling the foot or so over to him to lean over and kiss his rain-soaked lips. He sighed against your mouth, opening beneath you and allowing you to slide your tongue over his teeth. He started a sucking motion with his tongue sending shivers throughout your body. You realized that he was drinking the rain that was falling from your face, over your lips and into his mouth. You groaned, feeling yourself go weak.

The moment that you thought you might collapse he shot up and neatly flipped you over so you lay along the bench, limbs intertwined, torsos pressed together, lips still joined. He moved his mouth over your face, sucking the water from your skin. Your head fell back as the fingers of both his hands rand down your arched neck and his tongue flicked out to taste the hollow at the base of your throat. Leaning up again he raked his eyes over you, the flare in his eyes telling you he noticed the fact that your shirt was plastered to your skin, and you wore nothing beneath it.

“I see summan I like.” he muttered, running the palm of his hand over your chest and over one breast. He circled it around, watching your body’s reactions to his touch with a satisfied look. His hand slid over your stomach and up under your shirt, peeling it away from your heated skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. His palm settled over your breast again and you pressed against him with a sigh. Your whole body ached for his touch and the evidence of that pebbled against his hand. Jack’s head lowered, his mouth moving like a whisper over your other breast. He sucked at you through the material of your shirt as his thumb worked magic on your bared skin. You thought you might pass out from the pleasure of it all, it was too much. It wasn’t enough.

With one swift movement he pulled your shirt up over your head, trapping your arms above your head for a moment while he ran his hands gently all over the front of you. He lowered his head again, his tongue reaching out to lick off the water that trickled over your breasts. With the very tip of his tongue he touched your nipple, causing your whole body to lift off the bench and your breath to push through your teeth in a hiss. His arm slid under your back, keeping your body arched against him as his teeth scraped over you.

“Oh God!” you moaned, freeing your arms and dragging your nails over his back as you tried to pull him closer.

He complied, enclosing your nipple in the heat of his mouth, sliding his wet tongue over it in circles as he sucked gently. You bit your lip hard to keep from whimpering when he switched to the other side and added a few gentle nips with his teeth. Suddenly feeling desperate you grabbed at the back of his shirt, dragging it up and off, tossing it to land in the rain somewhere. Your grasped his head, pulling him to you and applying your lips to his neck, biting his neck, biting at his skin and drinking in the rain that washed over him. The sparse hair on his chest tickled against your naked skin, his beard rasping against you as his tongue stroked over your collarbone.

You shifted your legs so you could hook your knees over the backs of his thighs, pulling him as close as you could. Instantly you felt him hard against you, there was no way to miss it. With the weight of his body behind him he dug into you almost painfully until you shifted and he rested exactly where you wanted him. You gritted your teeth when you realized you could feel every inch of him, a lot of them throbbing and hot. He felt you moving, dragging his mouth from your breasts to look up at you with concern.

“Are ye ok luv?”

“Yes. More.” You muttered pushing against him with your hips until he was kneeling.

You sat up slightly, placing a hand against his neck and drawing him in for another mind blowing kiss, your tongues sliding against each other wetly and the rain falling between you and into your mouths. Your thighs were slung over his hips and even with the space between you he was still touching you, making it blatantly obvious he was going commando under his pants. Just the thought of it made you shudder as you ran your tongue over the roof of his mouth. He groaned against you and brought his hands to your hips, holding you still as he ground his body against you.

He was driving you insane and you started to pant against his mouth as he rubbed against you. Anxious to feel more of him you tore at his pants, sliding them down just enough for you to be able to reach down and touch him. You lightly ran your nails up and down the length of him, satisfied when he started to shake. A little braver now you grasped him tightly, moving the palm of your hand against his silky heat.

The combination of your touch and the rain was apparently more than he could handle. With a growl he pulled away and stood up, letting his pants fall to the ground and kicking then aside. While your gaze was aimed wantonly between his thighs, he knelt down, grasped your hips roughly and spinning you so you sat facing him.

Jack’s fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts and you lifted your hips as he slide them slowly down your legs. His hot gaze raked over you, eyes darting up to meet yours. Your cheeky grin told him he wasn’t the only one who slept commando. He laughed, shook his head and with his eyes boring hotly into yours he found your thighs and gently opened you to him. His hands ran down your legs as he moved then to hook around his waist. When you were in position he kissed you again, this time with more hunger. You felt like he was devouring your soul as he bit at your lips and when he pushed forward into you, you cried out against him. He stilled instantly, hips whispering across your ear.

“Ye make me feel so alive.” he groaned.

He uttered those words the exact moment he moved forward again, sliding against you, inside you until he was buried deep. Your head flew forward onto his shoulder, sinking your teeth in as he started to slide out again. You knew what was coming, knew how good he would feel when he pushed inside you again and your every nerve ending came alive at the thought of it.

Jack’s hands came to the small of your back and pulled you closer, arching you against him. Your  hands grasped at his shoulders as he moved so damn slowly it was killing you. Your thighs gripped his hips tighter and he groaned in your ear.

“God ye feel fucking incredible.” he grunted against your neck, his mouth leaving a burning trail over your skin.

You pushed up against him, giving him access, his tongue rasping over your nipple as he took another plunge inside you. The sensations were almost too much for you to handle, the feel of his wet, hot tongue against your skin, the soft rain on your skin, the throbbing stretch of him inside you as he moved. You felt your entire body begin to shake uncontrollably and you gripped him tighter. Involuntary cries escaped you as he continued to move smoothly inside you, his mouth coming to your ear again.

“I want tae feel ye come luv.” he whispered, running a gentle hand over your hair. “God, I wan tae feel tha so fucking bad.”

Hearing his voice in your ear like that sent you over the edge and you fell back against the cushions as your eyes glazed over and you exploded into a million pieces. Jack didn’t stop as you clenched and quivered around him, he moved just as slowly as before, waiting for you to come back to him. You knew he could feel your pleasure as he groaned and grunted. When you opened your eyes again you saw him leaning over you, smiling proudly. You bit your lip, sighing as he thrust languidly, setting you on fire again. Reaching up your heavy arms you pulled him down on top of you, legs wrapped around his waist. You licked the droplets of rain that fell from his lips before you nipped at his ear.

“Fuck me, Jack, please. I need you.”

With a yelp he buried his head against your neck and moved faster, harder. You felt his hot breath on your skin, heard his ragged gasps as he took what he needed from you. Your fingers dug into his taut rear pulling him closer, deeper always wanting more.

“God, fuck, so good.” he moaned in your ear and you felt him shiver.

He was so close.

“I want to see your face.” you whispered.

He leaned up and nodded, biting his lip. His eyes were squeezed shut, rain and sweat dripping from his forehead, cheeks and nose. It fell in droplets into your open mouth and you drank him in, watching his stunning face as he started to lose control.

God he was gorgeous like this.

You felt it before you saw it, he was twitching inside you, then his eyes flew open and he let out a roar as his whole body went stiff. Jack’s eyes rolled back in his head, mouth gaping open while he shook. He collapsed on top of you, head on your chest, struggling for breath while you groaned, almost at the breaking point again.

He felt it, moaning deep in his throat, circling his hips against you as you jerked and twitched, exploding again, arms falling limply against your sides.

For a while you just lay there, letting the rain cool you both, Jack making no move to leave your body. You sighed contentedly, running your fingers through his wet hair, just relishing the feel of him. He raised himself up on his elbows, cradling your head in his hands and running his thumbs over your temples. Leaning down he kissed you softly before pulling away to smile down at you.

“Was tha what ye had in mind, lass?” he laughed.

“Mmmmmm, even better. I think I even ticked a few boxes I didn’t know I had.” you stretched like cat, your whole body perfectly relaxed and sated.

Tired as you were, you’d never felt better.

It was still close to midnight before you laid down to sleep, drying yourselves off having led to Jack tackling you onto the bed, head buried between your thighs until you were almost screaming his name. You spent the early hours of the morning comfortably nestled in his arms as he snored away in your ear. Then, when the sun rose you slid down his body, waking him with your tongue until he was panting mess, flipping you onto your belly and taking you with a passion you’d never experienced before.

Nothing was said about your departure, you didn’t want to ruin it, but you allowed yourself a moment in the shower to wish things were different and that he would be waiting for you when you returned to London. Jack kept his hands on you right up to the arrival of the cab, holding you on his lap quietly and keeping your hand in his all the way to airport security.

It was time for you say goodbye and you didn’t want to. A lump rose in your throat as he smiled softly.

“I’m glad ye sat next tae me on tha plane Y/N.” he reached out to cup your cheek.

“Me too Jack.” you rubbed your cheek against his palm.

He looked as though he wanted to say something and you were desperate for him to ask you to stay. You would in a heartbeat, this man…..this amazing, snarky, passionate man, you were certain you could love him.

“Have a safe flight and ye should really try tae finish tha book before ye land.”

He pulled you in for a hug, gripping you tightly while you buried your face in his chest, memorizing every detail of him. Jack tilted your face up to his, sending you soaring with the sweetest kiss you’d ever experienced.

“Bye Jack.” you managed to choke as he finally let you go.

They were calling your flight.

“I’ll be seein ye luv.”

The plane was in the air before you really took another breath. You felt the absence of him as a physical pain, despite the soft feel of his stolen shirt against your skin. Looking pensively out the window as Singapore and Jack got further and further away you remembered him mentioning your book. Sure you wouldn’t be able to concentrate you pulled it out, flipping through the pages until you noticed writing inside the back cover.

There was a phone number and an email address scrawled there, along with a short note.

“Really hope this doesna end here. Contact me when you land.” Yours, Jack

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Weekly Recap - Week 4

Gentlemen, 

I just got done playing volleyball. Three game sweep, NBD. I’m tired. I’ve had a long day. It’s almost 9pm EST. I haven’t started on the recap. But you know what? I don’t care. My members deserve a recap and that’s what they’ll get. 

Viking Quest v. Mr. Magorium’s Mixon It Up

This was a very evenly matched game and I’ll admit, I got excited seeing all those tuddies on Gabe’s bench. Little did I know, his namesake (great team name, Gabe!) provided a massive near-40 point performance. Along with a 19-point performance from Aaron Jones, Gabe’s victory was sealed Monday night. Speaking of Monday night, I won’t play the victim. Sure, Cam succumbed to the CoCo but to my benefit I had Stafford to step in and be the professional he is. Also had a good game from Kamara but only had two other players in double figures and that’s not enough. Gabe has continued to persist past the Kurse. Or has he...?

The Perfect Ten v. Team Timshel

In a battle of champions, it was the latter and not the former who took this victory. Despite and 20+ point performance from Mahomes and a near 20 from Davis, E unfortunately didn’t get the job done with his back Kelley only getting 2.8 points. Mike on the other hand had a good showing from Russ, Amari, and Chark. He was still victorious despite getting 0 from one of his RBs. Two teams in the middle of the pack looking to add another title to their belts. 

11-4-1 PVO v. Tua Days 

Vinny came on a couple weeks ago and was still confident in his team? I don’t know about anymore. He put up a decent score with big games from Lamar+Andrews, Parker, and Randall Bullocks but he had zero chance of beating Dyl. Dylan had two 30+ scorers: Brady and Kittle. Add that in to a 24 point performance from Gordon and the rest got him the victory. Could this be a turning point for Dylan? Is it the end for Vinny? 

Fire Jarn v. Kalabar’s Revenge

First and foremost, happy belated to our own Rubbie. Unfortunately, his birthday week ended on Saturday and didn’t carry over into the new week. A decent 93 was aided by Carson, Tyreek, Allen, and Devin but was no match for October’s Own Kalabar. Despite having a weak D, his team was bolstered by Rodgers (29.58), Cook (27.6), McKinnon (19.2), and Evans (21.7). G is fully into Spooky SZN and may not be able to be stopped. 

Debbie Rowe v. Virginia Reel Rockets

I still have two more of these? Yuck. The good news is the Rays just hit a homerun to go up 5-1 over the Yankees. I can do this. Jane has fought off Kurses left and right (is he done?). The good news is he had a cake walk this week. Big games from Allen, Carson, his little Cooper Kupp, and Kreamy gave him the easy win. Al struggled. And I mean struggled. Putting up only 73+ points is never good. He only had three players in double figures and started a player who didn’t even play. Sad. If it wasn’t for Kyler he would’ve had an all time low performance. Back to Jake. A lot of talk saying he can’t close. I wouldn’t know because I always close. But I don’t think he can. He’s a freezer. 

Wilmore Cinderella v. Hank Mardukas 

Finally. Last one. You’ll hear from JP more below but he’s in a rut. It’s on him to know how deep that is. He tried to claw his way out but still lost by almost 20. A bulk of his points were by three players: Deshaun, Murray, and Rodrigo. Scott struck back with a vengeance with massive performances from Dak and Thielen. Does this get him back on the right track? Only time will tell.  

7 Minutes in Heaven with the Commish

This week we welcome JP and his daughter Avery.... HUUUUUUHHHH?!?!?!?!?! Let the record show my internet went out. Were Spirits involved?

Speaking of Kurses....

“50/50 Debbie Rowe and magorium” - G the Medium

Go Dodgers

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda

[buttercup-blue]

Boston

So after my stop in NYC, I was happy to have a few minutes to myself. I mentioned that I bumped into an old flame the weekend before, and I had been letting him spend the night a lot since. I remembered why I broke things off with him... he's obsessed. Wants to spend so much time together, going out to dinner, texting, yuck. He's a sweetheart, handsome and has a good job. I'm just not looking for someone to romantically pursue me. So the day before I went to NYC, I wanted the whole day (and night) to myself. I had been sick for a week and a half, but not bad enough to keep me from my daily routine. He told me he was starting to feel sick and texted me early in the morning to let me know he was going to the doctor. On the way, he got in an accident and his car had to be towed away. On top of it, when he got to the doctor, they said he had strep. He asked me if I wanted to get lunch after I went to the doctor since I needed antibiotics clearly. I felt bad for him, so I said yes. We went to get lunch and picked up my meds. Coming out of the pharmacy, I really craved a cocktail for some reason. I asked if he'd like to get a drink up the street. We got a flight of cocktails and I felt a little tipsy. We were going to head home, but I'm getting nostalgic about moving and asked if he wanted to get a Manhattan at my favorite bar before I took him home. So I clearly set myself up for failure. When I dropped him off, he asked if he could spend the night. In a moment of poor decision making, I said yeah, maybe if I get enough done because I still needed to pack. Usually I'm much more blunt. We miscommunicated and he thought I gave him a bright green light. Like an hour later, I have a man on my hands for the rest of the night. Long story short, I woke up with a 6'-7" man next to me for like the third night in a row. He had to go to work early thank god. I was so irritated and annoyed by a guys presence at that point; he had been treating me like a girlfriend and was way too invasive in my space. I knew I had to power through TD, but afterwards I didn't want any male contact for a minute. My girlfriends and I got to Boston and went to the music fest. We did some shopping, went out and sight saw since they had never been which was a welcome change of pace. However, I knew I would have to meet up with my first SD ever at some point, I'll call him OG. When I checked into the hotel he booked for us, we were short a day. He misunderstood when I told him the dates. He thought I meant three days, not three nights. I sent him a text letting him know what was wrong and he told me he'd take care of it and not to worry. We evaluated our schedules and decided Sunday would be the best day to get together around lunchtime. I've said before that my friends have no idea that I sugar, so here was my cover story: I told them that OG was a guest lecturer for one of my classes back in college and we had a lustful tryst. I never told anyone about it because he is REALLY respected in his field and I could get in massive trouble. He moved back to Boston after the semester, but I had gone to visit him a few times, hence why I knew hotels etc so well in Boston (I have IG evidence of times I was in the city). He owns a company and has a fuck ton of money so having me ask for a favor was no big deal between friends. It would give us a chance to catch up. I'm naturally private with my personal life and as much as I'm grounded, am known to have a wild streak. When I end up having to come up with a cover story, no one questions it because I've remained mysterious. Also, people are a lot dumber than you'd expect as long as you're consistent and nonchalant. So on Sunday, the girls wanted to go to Salem for the morning and I started getting dressed for my sugar date. I dress nicely pretty regularly, but I was obviously being extra. I waited until after they left to put in the final details. I wore a ribbed black dress of moderate length, a tan waistcoat and these awesome spiky Stuart Weitzman heels that are daring but not tacky. I hadn't seen him in so long, so looking good was important to me. I wanted to impress him. We met at a close by hotel bar. He got there early and I sauntered up about 15 minutes later. He was sitting with a large beer in front of him (per usual), dressed super casual in a well fitted black t-shirt and dark jeans. I removed my coat and sat in the seat next to him at the bar. We caught up on the last year or so of our life. I asked him how business was going. We discussed my impending move on New York. The girl we had a threesome with moved there, so he put us back in touch. I asked him if he had dated or been sugaring much. He just turned 40, is well spoken, hot and has little baggage. I have no idea how he's not wifed up. He told me his work and writing journals have been so exciting to him of late, it's just as appealing as an orgasm which is insane to me. He told me a few stories about casually sugaring and I told him about TD and the adventures we had been on. We've always been pretty open with each other. He said he was proud of how far I've come since our first meeting. After two glasses of brut champagne for myself and another beer for him, we both were ready to go. Whenever we both get into a hotel room together, he removes his shoes and puts them next to the dresser and I undo my heels while sitting on the bed. We always continue talking, I sit up on my knees and wait for him to be done settling in. Some things never change. I forgot how sensual he is, an amazing kisser and very passionate. I go down on him like my life depended on it and we have a great session of sex that lasted probably 20 minutes. I previously said that he showed me the right way of sugaring, and one of those things included the fact that he gets tested once a month. I trust him and he's a high class person, so we don't use condoms. He rinsed off in the shower real quick then we laid and continued making out. Lots of hot breathing and lip biting. A few minutes later, I could feel him get hard on my thigh. I was totally game for round two. He doesn't have a big dick, so we can have a lot of fun and creative sex and I don't get worn out. So we keep going and we start getting a little more wild. He started playing with my ass mid-sex which I enjoy. Shamelessly I got up, went into my bag, grabbed the lube and tossed it at him, grabbed my vibe and laid face down on top of it (the same lube and vibe TD paid for 😂). 12 times out of 10 I HATE anal, I'm tiny down there in general and it hurts. But I'm not one to turn something down when I'm excited. He started slow and was eventually pumping regularly. I'm on like my 12th orgasm for the afternoon at this point, it feels amazing for me and he comes again. We lay back down cuddling some more. He goes to rinse off in the shower again. I was still moaning, and trying to calm myself. He comes back into the room, says he's still really turned on by me AND HE GETS HARD AGAIN. He starts going down on me and I push him over and 69 for a minute. He lasts like 4 minutes then comes, but I'm still impressed for a 40 year old man. I guess to clarify, sexual chemistry is obviously very important to me. Some people might view me as being way too giving for a SB, but if I'm having a blast having sex I'm not going to feel like he needs to give me more money or whatever. We chatted for a while longer after we were all done. He does business in New York a couple times a month and said he definitely wants to start getting together again. He got up and started getting dressed as we continued talking. I like our relationship because it's super friendly and utilitarian. He's not as caring as TD, but I like that he comes in, takes care of business and then moves on to his life. He left $1k on the dresser and gave me a kiss goodbye.

[houseinvictus]

Garden Log 2017, part the first

Last year I used my personal Tumblr for logging my progress. This year, we have a new home for our urban farming adventure! It’s long, and posted here for posterity.

Fish & Farm

My grandfather kept these journals about his outdoor activities. He called them “Fish & Farm”, which I doubt requires much explanation. Even though I’ve never been much for fishing, I call my lawn and garden journal Fish & Farm too. But it got thrown into a box when we were cleaning for company, and I don’t know which box. So since I’m not really using this much, I’m just going to keep a record of my activities here until I can transcribe them into the book.

8 April 2017

The sidewalk plow wrecked the garden boxes. Just shredded the wood. Need to move the front gardens back about 8" or so and fill with brick or concrete. Lavender looks like it’ll bounce back, and we’ll add more this year. If last year’s Landini lilies don’t come up, I might try a couple of rosebushes.

Cleared debris from out back today. Planning another dump run with Ryan soonish. Still need to rake up about three bags’ worth of pine needles and leaf litter, but at least leaf bag collection is unlimited.

Planted my first round of herbs. Four Jiffy pods each of rosemary, oregano, basil, chives, and dill. I had a packet of parsley seeds, but it seems to have disappeared. I also need to get some cilantro, sage, and some sort of mint started. Planning for a mason-jar herb garden in the back porch, two steps from the kitchen. If everything sprouts and grows, we’re going to set up the Wives with a set of plants, too. Maybe even strawberries.

9 April 2017

I went out back with three leaf bags and a rake this morning. I got the organics about halfway bagged. Really glad I have a bunch more bags, ‘cause I’d estimate at least two more to do the job if I’m lucky.

We need a new bird feeder. Water got in. A lot of it. Yuck.

Got the evergreen fertilizer sticks punched into the ground between the cedars. They’re still tiny and pathetic, but they made it through the winter.

Moved the picnic table out from the house and the planter-platform to where we’re going to build the permanent veggie bed. There may even be room for a second veggie bed before too long – that is, there’s room, but we won’t be able to build it right away because lumber is expensive.

Sweet woodruff and dianthus are hung out front where they belong. Not sure what to do about the third pot, which gets drowned by the break in the eavestrough we just haven’t yet been able to fix. Strawberries need dead bits pruned, then can go back outside.

K has suggested growing our leafy greens in planters around the perimeter of the back “yard”. We’re also going to get some people to test-park so we can work out where we can plant some grass back there.

Thinking about red roses behind the lavender out front if the lilies fail. Possibly even if they don’t.

10 April 2017

I planted peas today. Eight Jiffy pods. They’re in the foyer window with the herb pods.

That is literally the only garden related thing I did today. It thunderstormed overnight, so everything’s been soaked all day.

14 April 2017

K and I looked over our materials and did a general redesign of the garden boxes. Home Depot’s rough cuts on the 1x12" planks were extremely rough, so our new strategy is to cut them all to 42" length. First of the two veggie boxes is built. Second one will have to wait until they restock the rough pine planks, ‘cause I cleaned them out.

Grackles and nuthatches really seem to like the new bird feeder.

16 April 2017

Staked out the positions of the various garden boxes in relation to the property line. Way too wet out to justify doing much else.

Planted the last four herbs just now: parsley, mint, sage, and cilantro. Noticed the rosemary hasn’t done anything yet, but the dill, chives, oregano, and basil have sprouted. Also, the peas I planted are starting to do their thing. Checked the soil in the round planters; since it’s nice and damp, they don’t need to go outside yet. While I was in the porch, I also trimmed back the dead bits from the strawberries and set out mason jars for the herbs to go into later. Have to get some soil into them soon.

19 April 2017

Filled the first set of herb jars with soil today. Also, planted three varieties of lettuce (buttercrunch, Parris Island, and Grand Rapids), Swiss chard (Bright Lights), and kale. Twelve cells each. Good Maude.

20 April 2017

Dollarama has the worst seed selection this year. Planted twelve cells of cucumber and filled the second set of herb jars.

Of my two new garden boxes, one of which is built and ready to put in place, one will be filled with bigass beefsteak tomatoes with peas at the centre (still contemplating adding another veggie), and the other will be a Three Sisters box (corn, beans, and squash – in this case, zucchini). Just gotta get those suckers built and filled!

21 April 2017

Spent a couple of hours working on the veggie planter. Dug the anchor holes, set it in, and started filling it from the front garden bed, where we plan to grow blueberries.

23 April 2017

The first veggie box is now just about half full of old dirt, gravel, and assorted yard organics. It’s ready to be topped up with fresh soil. Now I just need to get my hands on a lot of fresh soil. :)

24 April 2017

Holy crapspackle, what a day. I dumped 140L of soil (all I had) into the tomato box, and need about the same again to top it up. I pulled the frame from the 8’ front bed, but failed to extract the screws, which are stripped or stuck or both. Then I sat down on the sidewalk (howdy, neighbours!) and pulled the rest of the gravel from the 18’ bed, then bagged up the dead lavender from last year. Oh, and a bird pooped on me in hunger protest or something, so I refilled the feeder.

29 April 2017

So after being sidelined by the plague for a few days, I finished filling the tomato box today. It took another 180L, which brings us to a grand total of 320 L to fill basically the top half of the box. I also took off the needly bits of the fallen pine branch out back.

3 May 2017

The second box is built. That is all.

4 May 2017

Sunk posts and started filling the Three Sisters box base with old dirt and organic matter. Got about 1/3 finished. Digging makes me tired.

5 May 2017

Dragged out the lawn edging today. It is REALLY hard to straighten it when it’s been coiled for basically ever. Dug, edged, and filled the nasturtium beds and blueberry bed, except for one more piece I still need to cut. Killed two birds with one stone by getting fresh dirt for the nasturtiums from the 18’ bed, since it’s above grade.and the dirt we added last year didn’t do any actual work. But in other parts of that bed, the lilies are coming up! They’ll make nice placeholders while we acquire the blueberry bushes for that bed.

Also, I filled the bird feeder. Little winged piggies.

10 May 2017

The Three Sisters box is filling at a pretty good rate, now that I’m using the wheelbarrow to move dirt from the front of the 28’ garden to the box. I’ve got it nearly, if not all of, 2/3 full, and I still have some more digging to do. I should be able to get it to ¾ full before I have to buy more fresh soil.

I have sproutlings! My kale and chard are coming up beautifully, and the lettuces aren’t far behind. A little bit of zucchini and kohlrabi action is underway. One little cucumber shoot! The corn I planted is doing precisely nothing, but that’s why I bought more, so I can replant once I get the box filled and ready.

I gave the peas some diluted coffee. Can’t hurt!

12 May 2017

I had a busy day. Filled the second box to the top, put in my tomato plants, levelled the front strip, saturated it, and laid down a thick covering of grass seed (then layered fresher dirt on top). Then I prepped the 18’ front strip for grassing (well, I’m almost finished), put a couple of whimsical pinwheels into the veggie boxes, and marked out where things will go in the front bed.

13 May 2017

It is GORGEOUS out. This morning, we got the hose up and running, then went outside, soaked the crap out of the boxes and the 8’ front bed, transplanted the hosta and blueberries (note to self: east Chippewa, west Northland), and put greenhouse domes over the blueberries. We also cleaned up the yard for reseeding, planted more peas, planted corn, and stripped the dead foliage off the hanging pot of woodruff.

14 May 2017

Today, we cut enough extraneous branches from the trees at the southwest corner of the house that I’ll no longer be disturbed by knocking at my bathroom window in the middle of the night. Then we swung around to the east side of the house and got really crazy. With a combination of my new pole saw (😍), K’s recip saw, and my hand pruners, we tidied up and/or eliminated the trees between our house and our neighbour Dan, who was out hanging with us for a while. There were a couple of maples WAY too close to the foundation, so those have been eliminated.

15 May 2017

Today I bought and transplanted a jalapeño plant. His name is Juan, as in “they had lots of plants, but I only wanted Juan.”

I also planted the first of my nasturtiums, in the strip between the two planter boxes. Packet says 7-21 days for them to sprout, so we’ll have plenty of time to attach the lattice before they need to start climbing. Perhaps sometime this week I’ll fill the strip between the Three Sisters box and the blueberry hedge and plant a row there, too.

Big weekend!

20 May 2017

Weeekend! We got up and went outside to get some work done. We put up the lattice fence against the west side of the veggie boxes. It really ties the whole area together, both physically and metaphorically. I filled and planted the nasturtium trench, and we watered everything. K seeded the east front lawn and watered it in. Also, because our birds are little piggies, we refilled both feeders.

21 May 2017

Rain. And then more rain. But we did get to Home Depot to pick up zucchini, a jalapeño, and a ew bags of mulch. Yay sale! I put in the plants, and they look pretty cheerful. 22 May 2017 It took two bags of mulch to do the blueberry patch, meaning we have two left. Then it was transplant time! I now have three pots of kale ready to go out back, my parsley and rosemary are now in their jars, and I have a loaf tin of leftover herbs to give away (chives, cilantro, and dill). Also, two more of my mint pods finally sprouted, so when they’ve grown a little more, I can transplant those, too.

25 May 2017

I can’t quite believe phase one of the front yard is done. It doesn’t feel real, but it sure does look good.

In phase F1, we built, filled, and planted the two veggie boxes, attached a lattice fence, planted nasturtiums to climbit, added some potted plants, planted a 12" wide strip of grass as sidewalk plow insurance, planted two blueberry bushes, and laid down mulch around them.

In phase F2, we’re planting a matching 12" grass strip, bringing the 18’ garden bed down to grade, reseeding the grass on the main lawn (first seeding complete), and possibly starting to replace stands of lilies with blueberry bushes, as our budget permits.

Phase F3 is the replacement of the somewhat wobbly front steps and the construction of a garden box around the lilac tree. K wants to put in some grapevines. Also, painting the damned porch. WHY brick red and grey? We hate the colours, and plan to go to white and green.

Phase E1’ on the east side of the house, is kind of a mini-phase that’s just about done. We took down the two maples that were menacing the house by being too close, and trimmed back the one that’s on the property line we share with Dan.

Phase R1 is very straightforward: leafy greens in planters, times about a gazillion. So far, only the kale is transplanted and in place.

Phase R2 will involve measuring out a space for the driveway, putting in some edging, and planting grass on the rest. Then a load of gravel should finish it up.

Phase W1 is our lowest priority: the strip of yard between us and the corner house is just mossy. Some other ground cover seems called for. It doesn’t have to be grass, it just has to contribute to soil retention.

So F1 and E1 are done, and F2 and R1 are in progress. Pretty impressive, given our circumstances.

In ongoing garden work news, I’ve transplanted the Swiss chard, and after it rides out a little transplant fatigue, it’ll go out front.

27 May 2017

Ugh. Well, there’s an arduous, annoying task out of the way. There was WAY too much gravel in the bottom of last year’s tomato pots (this year’s lettuce). I reclaimed a 27" windowbox full of gravel while still leaving plenty of gravel for drainage. And then I filled four planters from the 18’ garden. We still have a ton of reasonably fresh soil we can reclaim before getting the garden down below grade for mulching. Whether I have enough planters, on the other hand, is a whole other question.

Have you ever been glared at and scolded by a teensy little bird? They’ve figured out I’m the sucker who fills the bird feeder. Last fill was a week ago. Anyone who uses the phrase “eats like a bird” has never seen how those little bastards can put it away! Also, I really need to get more seed. I have less than a feeder-fill left, and I didn’t check the backyard feeder on my way to the garage. The kale, however, is really happy outside!

I got the mower out and the first pass done, and I took my sad little chardlings outside to get some sun and fresh air and whatnot. Looking forward to the grass growing in, ‘cause I pretty much just beheaded the dandelions and forget-me-nots.

29 May 2017

I now have a large pot each of Parris Island Romaine (rooted really, really poorly, but it’s in), Buttercrunch lettuce (rooted beautifully), and Grand Rapids leaf lettuce (most sprouts came up, but not impressively rooted). We’ll see how the remaining sprouts do before I xplant any more.

K pulled out the whippersnipper and tidied things up. I need to rake the snippy bits off the nasturtium bed, but I’m kinda tired. Oh! And since yesterday, our corn sprout count is up to five! The one we saw yesterday must have put on a whole cm overnight.

30 May 2017

My cucumber sproutlings are finally growing! Yay!

Reseeded and watered-in more grass JUST before the rain started, ‘cause that’s how I roll, apparently.

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week 9

Fellas, 

I’ll say what we’re all thinking: things are starting to get interesting.  

El Commish v. Wilmore Cinderella

Less than 24 hours before kick-off, JP and Gabe made a trade to shake things up. JP definitely benefitted from said trade. He came out strong with good games from Jameis (20.2), Lindsay (15.2), and his newly acquired players in Sutton (12.3) and Hyde (14). JP had one of his better weeks in memory as he’s trying to fight his way into a playoff spot. I, for one, went the opposite way. Having one of my worst weeks of the season, no one performed except Henry (21.9). Not a single other player reached their projection this week while I had two of my go-to starters on bye. JP’s win helped him get back into the hunt and we’re both just trying to survive becoming the Cabana Boy.

Debbie Rowe v. Stick With Us PVO

Speaking of the playoff hunt, we have one team that is pretty much the team to beat and a team still searching for its identity. Jake’s team only has two losses on the season and I can’t really see him getting any more. Led by Deshaun, McCaffrey (34.6), Lockett (27.2), and Butker (18), Jake was once again the highest scorer on the week. I’m hoping Jake doesn’t get too greedy in the next few weeks as he’s already declared he’s going for the scoring record. Jake may be going for the scoring record but none of that will matter if he falls early in the playoffs. Dylan, again, is like his Browns. A team with a lot of promise but can find themselves underperforming. Right now, Dylan sits one game below .500 which isn’t terrible, but not great. In his defense, he’s had great scoring outputs but unfortunately, those good weeks get overshadowed by great ones from his opponents. Dylan was led by Russ (39.2), Jarvis (11.1) and Cooper (14). Dylan still has some time to turn things around and fight for a playoff spot.

The Perfect Ten v. Team Timshel

Like last year, we find our previous (and two-time) champion flirting with last place. E, like Dylan, has put up respectable numbers and then some. In fact, E’s lowest point total on the season is 83.2 with every other game being 93 and up. These are the frustrating seasons. E had his second-lowest game of the season with 93.8 points and was led by big games from Stafford (MVP, 24.8), Ingram (12.4), Tyreek (20.5), and Marvin (18.6). Mike, after a long drought from the win column, was able to bounce back and secure the win over E with 106.8 points on the week. Mike was able to get five of his players into double figures with good games from Gay (11), AP (13), Sanu (14.1), and massive games from Melvin (22.9) and Dak (21.5). Mike moved back to a game over .500 and was able to push E closer to the Cabana.

Hank Mardukas v. VP

Speaking of Cabana, we had two teams face off this week that flirted with it last year. Scott, who also seems to be a powerhouse, secured his seventh win on the season. He was led by Lamar (28.6), Jacobs (24), Golladay (19.2), and DK (21). Scott’s team is definitely playing well at the right time, despite his bench’s production falling off. Vinny, who has had a couple wins in the last few weeks, came back down to reality as his team took another L. I’m sure Vinny felt good after a big start to his week on Thursday night with good games from Sanders (17.2) and Drake (24.2). Unfortunately for him, that pace wouldn’t continue. An injury to Brisset and some wrong plays took Vinny out of the game. Vinny had two backs on his bench that combined for 33 points and a defense that got 19. If there is any solace Vinny can find in his loss, it’s that his bench outscored Scott. A marvelous feat.

Professor Remus Lupin v. Kalabar’s Revenge

Remember that trade we mentioned earlier? There’s always to sides to it. As Gabe mentioned in the chat, he sacrificed this week for the long-term and sacrificed he did. Although he had two of his normal starters out on bye, he put a respectable squad out there. Unfortunately, the embarrassed the franchise that hadn’t taken a loss since week 3. This is an unofficial stat but Gabe didn’t have a single player reach their projection, a first for the league in 2019. Gabe’s only players to come close were Darnold (12.5, USC Trojans - Fight On) and Zeke (13.9). Gabe’s hoping his trade can help him bounce back but only time will tell. Speaking of bouncing back, G needed this win. After a piss-poor October, Kalabar got his first win since Week 5. He was able to put up a respectable 103.8 and got his win with his star QB in the lineup. G was led by Carr (19.6), Montgomery (19.6), Kittle (13.9), Cowboys D (19), and Boswell (16). G did his best to survive without Patty so we’ll see if he’s able to bring some more life back into his lineup.

Fire Jarn v. Virg. Gardening Minmaxers

This was our Yuck-fest of the week. Al, who had only one win leading up to this week, earned his second with HIS THIRD LOWEST SCORE OF THE SEASON!!!! Al put up 63.6 points and was able to somehow beat a spiraling Robbie. Al had two players reach their projections: Duke (14.1) and Ertz (16.3). Al bought some time in the Cabana Boy race. Now to Robbie. I mean, I knew we’d see him implode but my goodness. After winning his first three, Rob has now lost four of his last six. He hasn’t even surpassed 64 points since Week 6. Rob only had two players in double figures: Rodgers (12.9) and Williams (11.3); only one of which met his projections. Robbie hasn’t been the same since Kamara went out, interestingly enough, in Week 6 and now is suffering after the loss of Kerryon from his lineup (the injury occurred in Week 6). Even Godwin, who was the #1 fantasy receiver, hasn’t reached double figures since (you guessed it) Week 6. If you haven’t picked up on it by now, week 6 was a turning point for Team Fire Jarn.

Cabana Boy Clinch:

Scott and Jake have officially clinched their absence of being Cabana Boy. Al’s win kept hope alive for him not being CB and some other teams who suffered losses didn’t get the separation they were hoping for. At this point, there are four weeks left in the regular season. The numbers below are based on Al’s current record of 7 losses and if he were to win out.

Magic Number: CLINCHED: Debbie Rowe CLINCHED: Hank Mardukas 2: Professor Lupin 2: Team Timshel 2: Fire Jarn 2: Kalabar’s Revenge 3: El Commish 3: Wilmore Cinderellas 3: Stick With Us PVO 4: The Perfect Ten 4: VP Virg. Gardening Minmaxers: 2-7

Week 10 Matchups:

Virg. Gardening Minmaxers (2-7) v. El Commish (4-5) Wilmore Cinderella (4-5) v. Debbie Rowe (7-2) Stick With Us PVO (4-5) v. The Perfect Ten (3-6) Team Timshel (5-4) v. Hank Mardukas (7-2) VP (3-6) v. Professor Remus Lupin (5-4) Kalabar’s Revenge (5-4) v. Fire Jarn (5-4) - GAME OF THE WEEK

Good luck to everyone as we get into crunch time. Things are getting stressful so be sure to keep your cool as we only have a few more weeks left.

P.S. - In an effort to see if this recap is worthwhile, I’d like anyone who made it to the end to throw these words in the group chat: “Rob sucks”.

Your beloved Commissioner,

Jared R. Mosqueda

[thedenfantasyleague]

The Den Fantasy League Recap: Week Two

Fellas, 

I believe we can all agree that the first few weeks of Fantasy can be weird. Players are still figuring out their roles with their teams, defenses are game-planning players differently, etc. However, we’re starting to see some teams in our league establish themselves at the top or bottom of our league. With that being said, let’s not count anyone out just yet. Like we saw, last year E started 0-7 and rallied back to claim his title. Good luck to everyone in week three. On to the recap. 

_

Fire Jarn v. Debbie Rowe

A tale as old as time: Robbie comes out hot and then plummets at the end of the season. We’ve all seen it. But here we are again and Robbie is back to 2-0. Robbie has been the enemy of the state this week with his single-handed responsibility of the Cats losing, contributing to Jane’s already rough weekend. Rob came out hot again this week with another big week from Brady. The HOF was aided by big games from Kerryon, Boyd, Godwin, and Vance-Will-Make-Em-Dance. The question mark for Rob would be: does Kamara thrive or plummet with the absence of Brees in NO? Jake’s rough weekend continued into Sunday with a pretty lackluster game all around but it started on Thursday night. CMC started the week off with 5.3 points. Yeah, the guy who had 32.9 points came out with a dud in a 27+-point drop. Add that in with Evans’s 6.1 points add to the disappointment. Aaron Jones, Kupp, and even Eifert Zone were good plays but the production across the board wasn’t there. Even Deshaun (absent his one TD run) didn’t bring much to the table. Both teams have interesting matchups next week. 

VP v. Wilmore Cinderella

In the battle of two teams that find themselves at the bottom of the point scorers, we saw Vinny and JP square off in a yuck-bowl. Vinny is trending like his Dolphins and that is not a good thing. In Vinny’s defense, he struggled with the injury bug this week. Vinny’s holding on to AB before his potential suspension and big games from Gould and Sanders helped him out. The bad news: his franchise Quarterback is out for several weeks moving forward. On top of that, Damien got hurt in their game. Those two combined with rough week two games from Jones and Hopkins don’t help. JP was on the bottom-half of point scorers this week but found enough change in the couch to get him the win. The top half of JP’s team comes with a lot of question marks: 

Cam is STRUGGLING

Conner got hurt

Thomas did enough but what will he look like without Brees?

Can Diggs be good when Cousins sucks? 

Two teams with serious question marks going into week three. 

Team Timshel v. Virginia Kuppcakes

Going from two teams with question marks to another that is arguably the worst team in the league at this point (PVO). Money Bags Mike spent his coin on a handcuff that he didn’t need this week. Dak was back along with good plays with Gurley, Breida, Keenan, AP, and J-Tuck (duh). Mike���s team looks like one that if they put everything together, has a chance for a sneaky run. The sad part about this: Mike scored less than 100 points and still almost doubled up Al. Al’s team STINKS (PVO) right now. Sloppy is out for the year, DJ struggled outside of his one TD, same with James, Thielen can’t be counted on right now because Kirk sucks, OJ has combined for 1.2 points in two weeks (1.2!!!!), Mixon is hurt (and the Bengals stink), and even Gostkowski missed a field gold and two extra points. Now, let’s take a step back and take a deep breath. There were some positives: Cooks had a solid showing and there were some positives on his bench: Kirk (11.4), Penny (12.5), Fitz (10.4), Gore (14.3), and Josh Allen (22.2). There might be hope for Al yet but he’s going to need to step it up or soon he’ll be game-planning for Cabana day. 

El Commish v. The Perfect Ten

Look, I’m happy to have won but are we worried about E starting 0-2? Personally, I don’t care because I was a force to be reckoned with this week. My top scoring performance was a big turnaround from last week’s disappointing start. Yes, it was good to see good games from Henry, Kelce, and even DJ Moore set the tone early on TNF but, in the words of E: “Pats d… Wtf jarn.” The aforementioned disgusting Dolphins were huge for me in my defensive effort giving up 4 picks (4!!!!!!!), two of those being pick-sixes (Fitzmagic is trash!), and seven sacks all without surpassing 200 total yards and zero points. For those following along at home, that equals 35(!!!) points from my defense. I mean, how bad could you possibly be? Finally, my Falcons stepped up on SNF to seal my victory with bounce-back games from Matty Ice (19.1), Julio (22.6) and Matt Bryant (7). Although it wasn’t a ton of points, either way, E didn’t really stand a chance. E had some bright spots this week with OBJ having himself a game (22.1 points) and guys surpassing their projections for the week: Stafford (of course), Sony, Ekeler, and Ridley helped give E the bulk of his points. The question for E right now is: should he be concerned with the absence of Tyreek? If OBJ and Ridley continue the points from this week, no. However, he should be concerned if the production doesn’t stay and if he needs to make some changes down the stretch. Finally, I’m not too concerned for his Matt Prater -2. That’s likely an anomaly but could be an issue if it turns into an Adam Vinatieri collapse.

Kalabar’s Revenge v. Stick With Us PVO 

The game everyone was looking at on Monday night pitted Spooky G v. Dylan and his Browns. There were a couple of questions for both teams going into the primetime game: Could G continue his hot streak with the Chiefs offense? Could Dylan avoid the Browns-win-Dylan-lose (and vice versa) correlation? Both of those questions proved vital to both teams. G’s team secured the win this week with another massive game from Mahomes and double-digit games from Le’Veon, and Singletary. The problem was only one other player hit their projection for this week: Rams D. He did have some good points on their bench but this may be something that he needs to keep an eye on. From Dylan’s end, he spent a lot of money on players he didn’t even play this week and, like G, had a good amount of points on his bench. For Dyl, he had four players in double figures but five in total who failed to reach their projections this week. I’ll be interested to see if Dylan shakes things up a bit (does he bench Baker?) or just hope that this week was a fluke? Either way, I’m not counting either of these teams out nor am I crowning them early. 

Hank Mardukas v. Mr. Magorium 

Speaking of spooky, how should Gabe feel right about now? We’ll hear from him shortly regarding the Kurse but I know I’m grateful I don’t have that burden on me. In regards to the matchup, Scott put on a show this week following up from last week’s victory. Huge games from Lamar, Dalvin, and Golladay almost had enough to surpass Gabe alone. Scott only had two players not reach double figures in his dominant effort. Scott’s always been full of question marks so we’ll see if he can sustain this production from his superstars. For Gabe, his top three flourished. Great games from Goff, Zeke, and Chubb, who all exceeded their projections, was really the only bright spot for Gabe this week. In fact, not a single other player hit their projection this week and it wasn’t really close. Woods and Gordon took a backseat to other WRs on their respective rosters, Vernon and Carson couldn’t repeat last week’s performance, and even his D and kicker came up short. I’m not sure if Gabe should be concerned just yet as there is a lot of potential on his team but he has to do something to get on the good side of G. With that, let’s hear from the man himself. 

The Biggest Loser (PVO)

This was a Biggest Loser for the ages. We had Gabe and Scott on to talk about their matchup with a special guest. We talk spirits, lineups, and Gabe makes a lot of claims about other teams, including a guarantee. 

Week 3 Matchups

Debbie Rowe (1-1) v. El Commish (1-1)

***The Perfect Ten (0-2) v. Mr. Magorium (0-2)*** GAME OF THE WEEK

Fire Jarn (2-0) v. Hank Mardukas (2-0)

Wilmore Cinderella (1-1) v. Virginia Kuppcakes (0-2)

Stick With Us PVO (1-1) v. VP (0-2)

Kalabar’s Revenge (2-0) v. Team Timshel (2-0)

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Best of luck this week, gentlemen. As always, set your lineup accordingly. 

Your beloved Commissioner, 

Jared R. Mosqueda