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lyak12 · 5 months

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Just friends

Lucy Bronze x Reader

Summary: Lucy has been your girlfriend for three years already, but lately, she's spending more time with Ona than with you. Is she falling out of love with you?

Word count: almost 4.2k

A/N: I'm back with another Lucy fic:) Thanks to @helen-with-an-a for the inspiration:) I still have a few requests that I want to finish soon, but I'm currently swamped with uni stuff... so be patient with me. Also, there is a happy end cause my heart can't take pure Angst hahaha. I hope you enjoyy

Warnings: Anxiety, struggling with self-worth, concussion, vomiting, angsty in general, if I missed something lmk:)

Living in sunny Barcelona, playing for one of the best clubs in the world and all of that with the love of your life. A pretty perfect life one would say. Well, currently, you are feeling none of that.

You are insecure. You always have been, but normally, Lucy is quick to pull you out of that mindset. You’ve struggled with self-worth your whole life. Always thinking everyone is better than you. It has gotten better since you started dating Lucy over three years ago, but one of your biggest insecurities is still that she’ll get sick of you and leave you for someone better.

You know Ona is just a friend. She’s Spanish and they’re really close, so of course there will be lots of physical contact. You don’t mind that. You’re not jealous. You’re just scared Lucy will fall out of love with you and in love with Ona.

All the edits on Tiktok and insta were not helping. It got so bad that Lucy tried to block the hashtags on your accounts. It worked for a while but not long.

As Lucy spends the third afternoon in a row with Ona, you start to get even more insecure and a bit pissed to be honest. “Again? I thought we wanted to go to the beach today”, You ask a bit annoyed. “Am I not allowed to spend time with my friends anymore?”, Lucy asks defensive, not liking your tone. You just sigh and say, “Never mind, have fun”, you say and go into the bedroom.

Lucy doesn’t bother to come after you. You have been having the same discussion for days already. Lucy completely oblivious to the fact that your anxiety is bad at the moment, instead thinking you’re jealous. You change into some shorts and a crop top before going back into the living room, ready to take Narla to the beach instead. However, Narla is gone, too. Lucy must’ve taken her with her to Ona.

Great, you don’t even have your cuddle buddy now. Sighing again, you dry the tears that have escaped your eyes. You grab a hat and sunglasses and go to the beach on your own. Needing to spend your time somehow and the beach and ocean help clear your head.

You get home late, just needing the time to think. “Where have you been?”, is the first thing you hear when you get in before you come face to face with an angry Lucy and an excited Narla. “The beach”, you just say as you squat down to greet the dog. “Until now? You couldn’t look at your phone? I was worried out of my mind!”, Lucy asks loudly.

“I haven’t looked at my phone since I left the house”, you just say without looking at the brunette. “Y/N I’m talking to you! I was worried”, She says angrily. You flinch slightly at her tone. The tears you worked so hard to fight back threatening to escape. You look up and say “I’m sorry. I needed to think. I didn’t realize how late it was getting “, you say quietly, trying to stay busy with scratching Narla’s little belly.

“Next time, look at your phone”, Lucy just says and turns around before getting back to the couch. You cuddle Narla a bit longer, the Westie noticing the inner turmoil in you.

Eventually, you stand up and head into the living room as well. “How was your time with Ona?”, you ask quietly. “You gonna get jealous again if I say good?”, Lucy grumbles. “Lucy, I’m not jealous!”, you say defensively.

“Oh really? Then why are we having this same fight over and over again?”, she asks, looking at you. “Because you’re spending every free minute with her. It’s like you’re attached at the hip. I’m sorry I want to spend time with you too”, you argue.

“Yeah sure, that’s the reason. I’m sorry I’m spending time with my friends. Damnit, Y/N! It’s obvious you’re jealous, at least own up to it!”, Lucy yells, and that cuts deep. That sentence just lets something snap in you. “You want me to own up to it? Fine! I’m NOT fucking jealous Lucy! I’m scared. I’m scared you’re falling in love with Ona! I’m scared you’ll drop me as soon as she says yes”, you yell with tears streaming down your cheeks, letting yourself be vulnerable in front of Lucy.

“Oh don’t be ridiculous! Ona and I are friends, and that’s it! You should hear yourself. It’s absurd. Stop making a big deal out of nothing”, Lucy dismisses your fear. She has never done that before. She knows how your mind works and what she just said will make you spiral. Apparently, though, she doesn’t care.

You just look at her and dry your tears roughly. Giving her a nod before you head away from her. “Where are you going?”, Lucy asks, confused. She can see you’re still angry. “Why do you care? I thought I’m just being dramatic”, you snarl as she notices that her choice of words maybe were not the smartest.

“Y/N”, Lucy tries half-heartedly. “No. Not once have you treated me like this. You act like I’m not even here! You don’t pay attention unless I’m saying something about Ona. You know how much that hurts?”, you yell tearfully. “Now you’re exaggerating…”, Lucy says with an eye roll. You just look at her in disbelief and give her a nod. You swallow hard and say “I’m going to bed.”

With that, you leave her alone in the living room and head to the bedroom. Normally, you never go to bed angry. That is one rule that’s important to both of you. Well, tonight, the rule will be broken. By the time she comes to bed, you act like you’re asleep already. She still kisses your head, but you just pull away from her slightly.

You hear her sigh softly, but she doesn’t say anything. Eventually, you fall into a restless sleep.

As the alarm goes off the next morning, Lucy turns it off, and you just sigh. “Good morning”, Lucy says gently. “Morning”, you just grumble before you sit up with your back to her. “Seriously? You’re still pissed? Come on, it’s getting ridiculous”, Lucy says with an eye roll. You turn to her and say “Even if I wouldn’t be pissed anymore, I would be again after this comment. But yeah, of course I’m the ridiculous one. Because God forbid your stubborn brain could acknowledge that maybe you’re not as innocent as you tell yourself you are.”

You just get up and get into the bathroom. Lucy doesn’t say anything and just sighs. She really does not understand what your problem is. You get ready separately, but you’re not hungry, so you just grab a protein bar and gel to eat before practice.

The drive to the training grounds is quiet. You don’t say a word. Once in the locker room, you quickly change, but your teammates notice the tension between the two of you.

Mapi comes in just as you’re almost done changing. “Oh trouble in paradise?”, she asks with a slight tease. As an answer, you just grab your boots and drinks before walking out of the locker room.

Mapi just looks concerned at Lucy, the teasing smile wiped from her face. You normally enjoy Mapi’s teasing or at least chuckle slightly. “She’s been like that since we fought last night”, Lucy says with a soft sigh. “Last night?”, Alexia asks. Most of your team knew your rule to never go to bed angry. So as Lucy nods, most of them look concerned at each other. This has to be a bad fight.

Everyone can tell you’re not in the mood during practice. You play a lot more aggressively than usual. But not the type of aggressive that would hurt another.

You’re pushing yourself hard today, just needing to get out the frustration somehow. As you do a quick round of scrimmage halfway through practice, you run into the box to be on the end of a nice cross from Frido. However you’re a bit late, so you jump in at full speed, trying to find the ball and head it in. One of those flying headers Lucy is known for. Ona, however, is there to defend you, and since she’s running backwards, she doesn’t see you throwing yourself in for the ball.

You crash together, and the collision makes you hit the ball with your temple, unable to get it into the goal. You both land on the ground roughly, you a few feet away from Ona because of the speed you had come with.

You both groan for a moment, stars appearing in front of your eyes momentarily, your head throbbing. You close your eyes for a second, but as you hear Lucy’s voice, you open your eyes. However, her question, if you’re okay, is not directed at you. She is squatting next to Ona. That was it. Yes, Ona was lying closer to Lucy, but still.

“You okay?”, Frido asks you softly, and you just mumble “I’m fine.” You get up as Lucy walks up to you, resting a hand on your shoulder, but you immediately shrug it off and say “Don’t touch me. Don’t act like you care now.” The team has never seen you so angry. You just walk away from the brunette and make your way back to your position.

You high five Ona, not angry at her for the tackle. You squeeze the bridge of your nose slightly as you walk back. God, your head is throbbing. Your world is spinning, and you’re not feeling good at all. You try to shake it off, but Alexia can tell, so she rests a hand on your shoulder and asks “You okay, y/n/n?”

You don’t answer her trying to gather yourself. However, you only drop to all fours a few steps later as the dizziness becomes too overwhelming. “Y/N!”, Alexia yells and quickly waves the physios over.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”, the Physio asks, and you can only mumble “Dizzy, head throbbing.” Your ears were ringing slightly as you struggle to keep your composure. They look into your eyes and can see that they are unfocused. “Where did you hit the ball?”, he asks softly, having an idea what might be going on.

Your hand moves to your temple and the spot right next to your ear as you almost lose balance and face plant the grass. The physios steady you, and he says, “Yeah, that might be a concussion, let’s get you off the field and checked out.”

“Let me help”, Lucy says, wanting to help you up. “No, please just leave me alone”, you shrug off her hands with tears in your eyes. Alexia steps in and pulls you to your feet before guiding you to the physio room.

“What happened between you? Talk to me”, Alexia asks on the way, knowing the tears are from the emotional pain, not the physical. “We fought badly. She’s been spending a lot of time with Ona lately and ditches our plans for her. You know I’m not jealous. I know they’re just friends, but I’m scared Lucy is starting to fall in love with her and just waits to drop me. However, she completely dismisses my concern, telling me I’m ridiculous and dramatic. I don’t want her here. It’s like I’m not even there anymore. It's always just Ona”, you tell her tearfully, she wraps you in her arms for a second while you sob.

After a minute, you get it together, and Alexia presses a kiss to your head. “I know me saying this won’t help, but Lucy only has eyes for you, but I understand. I tell her not to come in here, but you gotta promise me you’ll talk to each other, okay?”, She says seriously. You just nod before you lie back on the physio bed.

Alexia leaves, and the physio checks you for a concussion. “So you said you’re head hurts and you’re dizzy, any other symptoms?”, he asks softly, shining a light into your eyes. “Nausea, sensitivity to light. I feel a bit out of it”, you answer, and he just nods. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure this is a mild concussion. The ball really hit you on an unfortunate spot. You should feel better after a few days, but for now let’s get you home and get some rest. No straining activities, keep yourself hydrated, and get some sleep, alright?”, he asks, and you nod.

He helps you get changed before driving you home. The motion of the car makes the nausea so much worse that you throw up as soon as you're home. You try to rest and sleep, but your head won’t let you. The thoughts just crashing on each other making you restless, so you pull on your sunglasses and a hat, grab your headphones to dampen the sounds and make your way to one of your favorite spots at the beach. It’s not a long walk, so you’re fine. The area is usually not filled with many people, so you just lean against the railing and look out on the sea as you sink into your thoughts.

Meanwhile, Alexia walks back out to see everyone have a small water break. Lucy is standing with Keira and Ona, nibbling on the bottle nervously. “How is she?”, she asks Alexia, concerned. “She’s hurt, not just physically. Lucy, what the hell is going on with you? You know how Y/N is, you can’t tell her she’s dramatic and ridiculous, thinking she won’t spiral”, Alexia says a bit angry. Everyone on the team knows that you need reassurance, especially when those thoughts in your head get too loud. And they all could see that was the case lately. “What?”, Keira and Ona ask at the same time as they look at Lucy disappointed. “She was going on and on about how I keep spending time with you and never with her. I just figured she was jealous, and it isn’t a big deal. And as she told me she’s scared I will fall in love with you just something in me snapped, I couldn’t stop it”, Lucy tries to argue quietly as she looks at Ona, but she knows she’s in the wrong here.

Alexia just smacks her hard in the back of the head and grumbles “Estúpida!” “Lucy, her logical brain knows that there is just friendship between us. But you know how insecure she can get, and it’s been getting worse again lately. You should’ve been more attentive”, Ona says, disappointed. “Yeah you better fix this before it's too late”, Keira says seriously, and Lucy just sighs, realizing that she really messed up. “Right now she doesn’t want to see you, I think she has a mild concussion so give her some space, but you guys gotta talk tonight”, Alexia says and gives the brunette a little shove back onto the field.

At the end of practice, Lucy immediately runs to the physio room, but you’re gone. „Where is she?“, Lucy asks the physio as he comes in. „I drove her home. She needs rest“, he says, and she just looks worried at him. „Lucy, relax. It’s just a mild concussion. The ball just hit her at the wrong spot. She’ll be okay in a few days“, he says reassuringly, but it does little to calm her worries. She pushes her hair out of her face and takes a deep breath. „I know, I just really messed up. Thank you for driving her home. I gotta go“, Lucy says and jogs into the locker room. Changing with the speed of light before grabbing her bag and running out again. She doesn’t have time for a shower. She needs to get to you.

Speeding home, she runs in and looks around for you, but the apartment is empty. Grabbing her phone, she calls Alexia. „She’s not here“, Lucy says as soon as Alexia picks up. „Lucy, calm down. What?“, Alexia says, still in the locker room with most of the girls. Ona and Keira look up as Lucy‘s name falls, coming a bit closer so they can hear too. „She’s not here. Y/N is not here. She was told to rest, where is she? What if something happened?“, Lucy asks, worried. Rechecking all the rooms. „Hey Luce, calm down. Come on, take a deep breath“, Ona says, and Lucy rubs a hand over her face before taking a deep breath. „Think. Is there any place Y/N could be? Any place she likes to go to think?“, Keira asks gently but worried about you as well.

The line is silent for a moment as Lucy tries to think. „Isn’t there a spot at the beach close to your apartment that she likes?“, Alexia asks as she remembers you telling her about something like that. „Yeah, I think I know where she is. I‘ll keep you updated, thank you“, Lucy says and hangs up before she grabs her keys and phone and is out the door again. Leaving a completely confused Narla behind.

She sends a quick text to Ona and asks her if she could take Narla out while she was looking for you, which she, of course, does. She runs almost the whole way to the beach. As she gets to the part where it is quiet and especially during this time empty, she sees you leaning at the railing. She sends a quick „I found her“, message to the three girls and packs her phone away. Catching her breath, she slowly approaches you.

„What are you doing here?“, you just ask without looking at the brunette. You know exactly who it is without having to take a look. „I wanted to make sure you’re okay“, Lucy says softly, taking your headphones from your ears carefully. You look at her, your eyes hiding behind your sunglasses. „As you can see I’m fine“, you just say.

“Y/N, I’m sorry. Can we please talk?”, Lucy asks softly. “What? You just wanna tell me I’m ridiculous again? I can deal without, thank you”, You just say and turn to look out to the sea again. “Hey, no”, Lucy says and guides your chin back to look at her. She pushes your sunglasses up to look into your eyes and says honestly “I messed up badly, and I’ve been an ass. I didn’t pay attention and did not treat you like you deserve. I’m sorry. I know a simple I’m sorry won’t do it, but I need you to know that.”

“You know how disgusting it feels to be treated like you make a big deal out of nothing, when it’s all you can think about? When your insecurities and anxiety get dismissed with a simple, you’re being ridiculous? You know how I am Lucy. My logical brain knows that Ona and you are just friends. A simple reassurance and afternoon spend together would’ve fixed everything, but instead, you had to treat me like a piece of shit. Like I’m just this jealous clingy girlfriend. Do you know how much that hurt? To feel like you’re throwing three years away just like that? I’m not asking you to stop spending time with her or not checking on her when she goes down during practice, but, for fucks sake, don’t take me for granted. I don’t need much, but if you want this relationship, you gotta treat me with the respect and love I deserve. Because I can’t take whatever this is much longer. Love me or leave me, that simple”, you tell her as tears start to fall from your eyes. The more words leave your mouth the more tears fall.

She knows how fast you can spiral, but she hasn’t expected it to be this bad. She gently dries your tears as she starts to tear up a bit herself. “Y/N I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I acted like that. I should’ve seen how much my behavior hurt you. Instead, I just kept going and didn’t pay attention. I was wrong, and you didn’t deserve that. I never wanted you to even think about doubting that my love for you is still there. I messed up, and yes, I took you for granted without noticing, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. Y/N, I love you. I love you so much, and I don’t know how my head got so messed up that I stopped trying to show that to you. I’m truly sorry, I promise to make it up to you if you let me. I promise, I love you like you deserve because you deserve the world, my love”, Lucy says honestly, and you just hiccup slightly, trying not to sob. This is all you needed to hear, but you spiraled so deep you’re not sure if you can trust her words.

“Are you just saying this, or is this the truth?”, you ask tearfully. “It’s the truth, please let me make it up to you and love you like you deserve”, Lucy says softly, scared that she really messed up so bad that she’s past the point of a second chance. “Okay”, you mumble quietly, praying you won’t regret trusting her. You’re just in a bad place mentally, and it’s hard to even trust Lucy.

As she hears the okay, she’s quick to pull you into her arms and kisses your forehead. She holds you close, and you cling to her, crying into her chest. Tears are falling down her cheeks as well, but her focus is on you. She needs to take care of you now, treating you like you deserve.

It takes you a few minutes to calm down, Lucy’s heartbeat being able to pull you out of those dark clouds in your head and into a more relaxed state. But that also makes you feel the symptoms of the concussion again. It’s a blessing and a curse. You squeeze your eyes shut as your world spins.

Lucy can tell how unsteady you’re getting, so she just tightens her grip on you and says “Shh, I got you, my love. Let me take care of you.” You just clutch her shirt tightly, leaning on her heavily. Your head pounding. “Let’s get you home. You want me to call a cab to get us home?”, Lucy asks softly as she kisses your head. “No, the motion makes me throw up. I’ll be okay, just give me a minute”, you mumble and try to breathe through the pain and dizziness.

“Take your time, I’ll carry you if you need me too”, Lucy says, and you know she will, but it’s a 15-minute walk to your shared apartment. “Yeah and then you won’t be able to walk for the next three days because of your knee”, You tease weakly. Lucy can’t help but smile at this slight return of banter. “It’s worth it for you”, Lucy just says with a soft shrug and smiles before she kisses your forehead.

You just smile softly and rest against her for a moment longer, taking a few deep breaths. “Okay, I’m ready”, you mumble, and Lucy wraps an arm around your waist to steady you while you make your way home slowly. “When you need a break, tell me”, Lucy says and kisses your temple gently, and you nod.

To be fair, by the time you’re almost home, she is half carrying you. You’re exhausted and definitely pushed yourself too hard today after your concussion. The nausea gets worse the more you walk, so barely five minutes away you stop Lucy and start to throw up again into the grass without much of a warning. “Okay, I got you, love. Deep breaths”, Lucy says, gathering your hair and rubbing your back while keeping you steady. There is not much for you to throw up, so you calm down quickly, but your legs are threatening to give out.

“Do you want me to carry you on my back or bridal style? What do you think will make you less dizzy?”, Lucy asks, it’s not a question of if. It’s how you want to be carried. “Bridal”, you just mumble quietly. Being able to hide your face in Lucy’s neck sounds amazing. She picks you up immediately and carries you the rest of the way home. Did her knee protest a bit? Yes, but she’d do it all over again without a thought.

Once home, she carries you to bed, and you’re greeted by Narla, who jumps on the bed and showers you in kisses. Lucy sets up a bucket and enough water before tucking you in. “Get some sleep. Rest that pretty head of yours. I’ll be here when you wake up”, Lucy says, running her fingers through your hair. “Promise?”, “Promise. I love you”, Lucy says softly.

“I love you too, I missed you”, you just mumble before you doze off. The last thing you feel is a kiss on your forehead.

#lucy bronze x reader #woso fanfics #lucy bronze #woso angst #ona batlle #alexia putellas #keira walsh #woso community #woso fic #woso x reader #barça femeni

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jgracie · 5 months

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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ YOU KNOW HOW TO BALL, I KNOW ARISTOTLE

↳ part two / the chronicles of jj & smartiepants!

(american)footballer!jason grace x fem!reader

masterlist | rules

on the radio . . . so high school (taylor swift)

an u can tell i wrote this for me myself and i …. cynjase nation rise ☝🏼 also i’m not american sorry if this isn’t the hashtag authentic experience ! (if one person tells me to write a pt2 i will)

“hi baby, what’cha doing?” you heard a voice ask, snapping you out of the trance you were in. jason couldn’t have come at a more perfect time - the sweet cadence of his words was exactly what you needed to pull you away from the homework you were doing

you turned to face him and couldn’t help but smile as you looked at him sitting on the very edge of your bed, a bouquet of flowers in hand - your favourites, of course. rubbing your tired eyes, you asked, “what’re you doing here?”

taking the bouquet from his hands, you went over to put them in a nearby vase as he explained - the team were having a friendly match with a nearby school in an hour and he passed by to see if you wanted to come along. staring at the pretty bunch of flowers now on your desk, a grin made its way onto your face. somehow, jason always knew when your flowers began to wilt

“i’m confused, they told you about this game today?” you asked, now sitting on a chair in front of him. you didn’t mind going, of course, but this is just how you were - always planning things ahead of time, your calendar neatly organised and your planner colour coded - so the idea of a game being sprung up on jason like this made you feel a little bad for him

he toyed with your fingers, now shy. before you became friends, if someone had told you the jason grace, golden boy of jupiter high (see what i did there wink wink), could be shy, you would’ve laughed in their face

“sorry, you don’t have to come, i was just wondering…” he mumbled. you would’ve gone anyway - hell, he could ask you to go to the opposite end of the world and you’d go - but now you definitely couldn’t say no, not with his crystal blue eyes giving you that look. jason insists he doesn’t do a puppy face, but surely this counted

grinning, you stood up, ruffling his hair as you made your way to your closet, “of course i’ll go, jase! i’m insulted at the fact that you’d even consider the idea of me not going.” at your words, a gooey smile tugged the corners of jason’s lips upwards, one that was only reserved for you, the first person who cared to know the boy behind perfect, popular jason

you rummaged through your closet, pulling out two tops and presenting them to him, “which one?” jason’s eyes widened, suddenly remembering something. he picked his backpack up from the floor and took something out of it - a jersey. his jersey. it was purple with gold accents, the surname, ‘grace’, and your lucky number plastered on the back

“this one,” he threw it to you and you caught it, pulling out bottoms to match. then, you stared at him, waiting for him to get the hint

“what?” jason asked, his brows furrowing

biting your lip, you became the shy one as you said, “i need to change, jason.” immediately, he got up, his face a bright shade of red as he took his bag and almost ran out, mumbling apologies and gently shutting your door behind him

you giggled to yourself, knowing he was going to be apologising for the rest of the day. oh well, a couple kisses should shut him up

#jason grace x reader #jason grace x you #jason grace x y/n #jason grace #jason grace x fem reader #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson x reader #pjo x reader #jason grace fanfic #pjo fanfic #jason grace drabble #jason grace blurb #cynwrites #˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ jj & smartiepants

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justdrawlynn11 · 1 month

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Hey so I'm angry at YouTube now over what I learned they did yesterday, from what I learned apparently the reasons the Lunar and Earth Show got deleted. So one of the reasons YouTube deleted the channel was cuz they accused the voice actors of partaking in scams relating to Lunar Plush bootleg merchandise of one of their characters being sold on TEMU. But Davis made it clear on his Twitch Stream that him and his colleagues were not taking part in that and they were accused of this. And the second reason which Davis pointed out was because of one of their characters called "Dazzle the Deer" and over the fact that they revealed their backstory about what happened to Dazzle when she was alive and called "Evelyn" which which involves Sun getting possessed by BloodMoon and murdering her, and YouTube deemed it to violent resulting in what is happening now. Davis also said they had three requests sent to YouTube already to try and get the show back up and running but they were all denied, he made it aware to us that he only had one request left and if it gets denied then the Lunar and Earth Show will be gone for good. So he asked us his viewers to get the word out to try and make everyone aware of the situation any way possible on all platforms we have. And since Davis doesn't have an account here on Tumblr and there's a lot of people I saw here who are fans of the show i wanted to help by starting here so I wanted to make awareness of this to try and get people to make noise and get YouTube to reinstall the Lunar and Earth Show so it's not gone forever.

Davis Explaining the LAES situation:

- https://youtu.be/VWFG0LO9oU0?si=-NY8vzCip0QzKLeh

Thank you for sending me the link, I will probably start posting with a hashtag I’ve heard about. I’m aware of the situation right now regarding current news.

It is upsetting to hear the news, and any time I reference the topic of trying to bring back laes, I will try to be respectful as possible as per Davis’s wishes.

#tsams #sun and moon show #lunar and earth show #laes #bring back laes #bringbacklaes #Justice for laes

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fizzyorange-v2 · 1 year

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just talking to my friend in dms about how at first when q!charlie started calming down from his rampage i was kinda upset cause i WANTED a full villain arc i wanted blood and rage and a massacre but then I kept watching and realised how much of a fucking idiot I was to underestimate charlie slimecicle’s rp skills like that. because charlie isn’t just playing a character hell bent on righteous revenge for his daughter, he’s playing a character actually grieving that daughter.

it’s obvious now that i think about it that the initial revenge plot to kill all the eggs and his repeated self affirmations that juanaflippa isn’t gone and that it can all just be reset are clearly just him entering the denial and anger stages. and that later scenes after the rest of the server finally backed him into a corner and calmed him down and he had that heart wrenching scene looking at juanaflippa’s photo, asking for a literal trial for her life and soul back and then that whooooole bar scene, that he has then entered the bargaining and depression stages.

Because the truth is, q!charlie doesn’t actually want to kill anyone (except Mariana lolll), he especially doesn’t want to kill any of the eggs! All he wanted was to be a good dad. And I think that that’s part of the reason he as a character failed so hard to actually tangibly hurt anyone during this stream. He was a mess, crying screaming yelling clawing trying to do something, anything to save his daughter. Anything to fix it all. That scene of him failing to break into Phil’s house haunts me.

But I think there’s something especially tragic that before Juanaflippa, q!charlie probably was the kind of character to hurt others without caring, he seemed to have no idea about empathy or healthy relationships before her thats for sure. He’s literally already killed TWO eggs before this, so causally and with such ease. But his love for his daughter improved him, and it changed him, and it made him just enough of a better person that when that daughter was taken from him, suddenly even to save her he can’t fucking do it anymore.

I also really appreciate how everyone else on the server reacted to him too. They didn’t at all treat him like some big bad scary villain like I originally would I’ve expected. Sure they were understandably wary and protective, but every single one of them weren’t so much angry at him as… WORRIED for him. And it really helped put it in perspective that this isn’t some guy going on a hashtag villain arc, but immersed me in oh fuck. This is a guy that just lost his daughter. And all his friends and fellow parents know. And they aren’t scared of him, they’re concerned for him. They aren’t full of fear… but pity. Because they know. They know what he’s just lost. And they understand. And they’re trying to be there for him.

And Charlie despite all the grand speeches and diabolical plots and not so carefully placed land mines… doesn’t really care how he gets Juanaflippa back, as long as she’s with him again.

Just man,,,, the way Charlie performed this character’s grief is so fucking stellar and SO fucking excruciating. The part that genuinely broke me was in that photo scene when he said: “i'm sorry flippa... i thought i could change something- i thought i could undo it, thought i could make it right... now i see that there's no way this can be made right...” which already fucking ow ow OW and clearly him finally exiting denial/anger straight into depression but then he whispers THIS FUCKING BIT: “it wasnt even on purpose… i know that... it doesnt make it better… what do i do juanaflippa?” LIKE FUCK!!!! FUCK!!!! OKAY!!!!!

Anyway massive props to everyone for the rp today but ESPECIALLY charlie for this agonisingly accurate and visceral depiction of grief that I somehow was NOT expecting. I thought we were going to get villain arc egg massacre angst and instead we got father mourning his daughter trying futilely to do anything to bring her back angst. I’m never fucking recovering from this one.

#qsmp #q!charlie #q!slimecicle #qsmp slimecicle #qsmp analysis #fizz character thoughts #juanaflippa #el mariana #qsmp spoilers

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thrillered · 2 months

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"You Know I Mountain Dew It For Ya" | Spencer Agnew X Reader | Pt. 11

Part 11: Apologies

The entire day had gone by and still no word from Spencer. You knew he had to have seen it, and knowing him as well as you do, you knew he listened to the song. You just hoped it was enough.

While the Spencer situation wasn’t necessarily going well, online was sparking with excitement about Birds of a feather. The hashtag had been trending all day and you once again were in a bright spotlight on the public stage. You had received texts and calls from friends congratulating you on your second successful song in such a short amount of time. Everytime your phone buzzed or rang your heart skipped a beat, hoping you would see your favorite contact pop up, but it never did.

Feeling defeated, you decided to go for a drive to clear your head. You didn’t have a destination in mind, allowing yourself to think about nothing but the road in front of you. Before you knew it you had somehow ended up at your ramen place. You’d never gone alone, this was an experience you only shared with Spencer. You decided that since you were already there you would stop in and get food.

You walked in, immediately becoming emotional at the comforting scent of broth and spices. Mrs. Ito greeted you, walking with you to one of the small booths.

“The usual?” She asked, smiling at you.

“Actually, I’m getting something different today,” You said. You went on to recite Spencer’s go-to order, hoping it would make you feel a little closer to him.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” Mr. Ito asked, joining his wife's side as he placed a glass of water down on your table.

“He’s, uh, he’s not my boyfriend,” You finally explained, sadly. “And he’s not coming today, it’s just me.” The words hurt to say. It felt wrong doing this without Spencer but you were already here and thought this might be good for you.

You scrolled on twitter as you waited for your food, liking different tweets about you and smosh. It didn’t take long for your food to come out, you politely thanked Mr. Ito as he set the steaming bowl in front of you.

Soon after the door opened again, the small bell chiming as the door swung inside. You glanced up towards the door, shocked to see Spencer of all people, shrugging off his light jacket.

“Ah Spencer! Welcome!” Mrs. Ito greeted warmly. It didn’t take long for Spencer to notice you. You looked away as soon as he looked at you, feeling an intense pressure under his gaze.

“Oh, hey.” He said, walking the small distance to your table.

“Hi.”

“Is… Is that my ramen order?” He asked, recognizing the toppings and smell of the broth.

“What? No.” You replied quickly, “Okay, yeah it is.” you admitted.

“Can I sit?” Spencer asked, a flattered smile gracing his face.

“Of course.”

You sat quietly for a moment, moving the noodles around in your bowl as you avoided eye contact.

“So…” Spencer began, “I thought it was our unspoken rule to not go here without the other.”

“Well, technically i'm not anymore” You said, gesturing to him.

“Touche.”

“So…” You mirrored. Another silence permeating the space. “I’m sorry.” You said quietly, shrinking into yourself.

“Okay.” Spencer returned.

“I was so scared, Spence. I am so scared.” You continued, the words falling out of your mouth without much thought.

“Why? Do I scare you?” He asked.

“No! What? No. I-” You sighed, shaking your head, trying to figure out what you wanted to say. “I’ve spent the last years becoming okay with just being your friend. I’ve been totally in love with you for… well for forever. And when you told me you lov-” You stopped yourself, afraid to say it. “When you told me what you told me I realized everything was gonna change and that was so scary. I shouldn’t have left. I know that. But I woke up to your warmth, your smell, your soul, all next to me and my fight or flight kicked in I guess.”

You weren’t sure you were making any sense. You hadn’t looked up from your soup, scared to face whatever emotion Spencer was feeling. “And when I got home I called Amanda and she helped me calm down and then I talked to Shayne at work and when I tried to talk to you, you ignored me, probably rightfully so.” you explained, wanting to be honest with Spencer as much as you could. “And if you never want to see me again I get it because I have been so unfair to you.”

For the third time since Spencer sat down there were no words. Just the sounds of the traffic outside and the muffled conversation between Mr. and Mrs. Ito from the kitchen.

“I would never, not wanna see you again Y/N.” Spencer expressed. “I gotta keep you around. Birds of a feather, right?”

Your eyes shot to his, a small smile playing at his lips. “You heard?”

“I couldn’t stop listening to it.” He admitted, blushing a little. “I forgive you Y/N.” He stated, knowing you wouldn’t believe him if he didn't say it explicitly. “I wasn’t the most fair to you either.”

“Truce?” You asked.

“Truce.” He agreed.

—

Spencer came back to your apartment with you, taking both of your food to go. You sat on the couch together, playing your third grand prix of mario kart, making each other laugh as you joked through each race. You paused as the last game ended, Spencer coming in 2nd and you in 3rd (a computer Waluigi beating both of you).

You turned to him, leaning your head on the couch to face him. “Will you spend the night?” You asked. “I can’t really run away this time.”

“You thought I was going to leave?” He asked, pulling you closer to him and wrapping his arm around your shoulders.

“I was just making sure.” You smiled, leaning into his side.

You stayed that way for a while, just enjoying each other's company after the few days without it. You looked up at Spencer, admiring him.

“What? There something on my face?” Spencer asked, noticing your gaze.

“Yeah actually, let me get it for you,” You said, sitting up, brushing your thumb across the corner of his mouth before kissing him.

“That was the corniest shit ever, you literally just babygirlified me.” He joked.

“I mean I can stop.” You shrugged, scooting away from him jokingly.

“No you don’t” He replied quickly, grabbing your waist and pulling you back to him, catching your lips with his. You sighed into the kiss, feeling incredibly grateful you made up. You let out a squeal as he pinched your sides, hoisting you onto his lap and deepening the kiss.

Unlike the first time, this kiss wasn’t so slow. It was full of passion, the pent up frustration from being apart manifesting itself through wandering hands and clashing teeth.

Spencer broke the kiss for air, “Never leave me again.” He pleaded through heaving breaths.

“Birds of a feather, right?” You mirrored his words from hours ago, making eye contact before connecting your lips again.

#spencer agnew #spencer agnew x reader #spencer agnew/reader #shayne topp #smosh games #smosh #smosh pit #smosh spencer #smosh cast #smosh fanfiction

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partypuppynastja · 2 years

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Transgender Day of Remembrance

This year’s official list has 327 names:

Those murdered were disproportionately women, usually around my age, more often women of colour. Many more will have gone unreported, and/or misgendered in their deaths.

One of those murders is from my native UK—there was also an attempted murder not far from here though, a trans woman stabbed on her doorstep. Fortunately, she survived. I wonder how many other non-fatal attacks were made in the same year.

51 were in the US; that’s more than one per state. Brazil was worst, with 96 (with a similar population size).

9 were tortured to death; another 3 burned alive; another 3 dismembered.

It can be hard to understand why people hate us so much. We’re mostly just trying to live our lives. I guess we’re an easy target, and dehumanised enough in popular media that our deaths elicit little care. I remember the first time I read in a newspaper about a trans woman being killed, the headline was written as a punchline, “transvestite beaten to death with hoe”, and the article was worse.

Fast-forward and today the jokes normalising such violence get Netflix specials, and the more serious hate-mongers get #IStandWith— hashtags in their support, as they go on their “I’ve been cancelled” tour and given every platform available. Politicians debate, and “sensible centrists” call for understanding from both sides, which tends to amount to “well we must understand that trans people can’t help being trans, and trans people must understand that we have Legitimate Concerns™ that if we don’t take seriously enough will just result in violence against trans people”. And so the microphone gets passed to the transphobe-du-jour.

Eventually, the world will get better. Education improves, community (and thus a little safety) is easier to find, transphobes start to realise history will judge their crimes like every other bigotry and ‘phobia and ‘ism. Those who are “not transphobic but” will learn to put aside their biases; those who are openly transphobic will become “not transphobic but”. It may never die out, just like racism hasn’t, just like homophobia hasn’t, and so forth, but it will get better. We just have to live to see it.

And that gives me strength sometimes, gives me an extra reason to survive when I don’t always want to. Transphobes want to see me die, and I will do my level best to thrive instead. It’s not easy and sometimes I feel like a flower growing through concrete.

But like a flower growing through concrete, I know where I’ve come from and I know where I’m going. I can’t know whether I’ll make it, but I know I must keep trying, and the further I get, the easier it will get along the way. It doesn’t mean there won’t be the occasional storm, or freeze. But, there’s sunshine too. There is love in the world; there is hope.

We owe it to the fallen to live, to thrive, and to strive to make things better in this world.

#Transgender Day of Remembrance #TDoR #Transgender #Trans

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phfenomena · 9 months

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❝ in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman. ❞ || Luke Hemmings x F!Reader

| A/N- completely self indulgent i love luke hemmings too much

| WARNINGS- slut shaming, wine, ice cream, crying, confessions of love, two idiots in love, threats of violence (joking manner)

luke hemmings x reader fluff

the apartment was dark, barely illuminated by the small lamps scattered around. she was freezing but couldn’t be bothered to turn the air off after the afternoon heat sizzled away. the word just keep echoing inside of her mind. slut. slut. slut. what made her a slut to them? the people who built her career for her, the people she thanks everyday for supporting her?

she couldn’t breathe, having tossed her phone towards the wall in a fit of sadness she didn’t even know how long she’d been laying there. it felt like days but in reality it was probably only a few hours.

all they did was get coffee. he asked her to go get coffee, like friends do. she couldn’t even see the paparazzi, now a hashtag with her name and canceled on the end of it is trending. she hadn’t been with that many guys, has she? she recounted how many men she’d been publicly seen with and she could count it on two hands. if she were a man she’d be praised for her game and her dedication.

maybe she shouldn’t have thrown her phone. she can hear it buzzing and dinging across the room, each notification drilling the word deeper into her head. she’s such a slut! can you believe she’s seeing another guy? #SHESOVERPARTY.

as her legs sloppily and gingerly moved towards her phone she didn’t find thousands of hate messages from her friends like she’d expect. they were there for her. they cared. as she scrolls through the messages, most of them going in one ear and out the other. one stuck out, it’s from luke. she hadn’t been telling what’s going on with her and how she felt. she shakily typed back to him ‘shit i’m so sorry i didn’t answer. just not feeling like going on my phone. thank you for the kind words.’ the bubbles indicating he’s typing appear almost instantly. he’s happy she’s okay, and that she’s texting him. he wants to come over and see how she’s doing. shit. he wants to come over.

she frantically throws her clothes into the closet and tries her best to not look like she’s been wallowing in her self pity for days. even though she has.

as they sit on her couch with wine glasses almost full to the brim, he’s saying how worried everyone was and he feels so horrible that this is happening to her.

“it’s not your fault, luke. i shouldn’t have gone out to coffee with him. i should’ve known better.” she says matter of factly. he turns towards her and furrows his eyebrows.

“no, in no parallel universe would this even be on you. you’re not to blame at all. the internet was so quick to tear you down and call you…that, because they always need a victim. someone to hate on and someone to blame everything on. it’ll never be your fault.” his voice softens towards the end, his free hand rubbing comforting circles over her knee.

the dam collapsed, she fell into a fit of sobs and struggled breaths. placing the wine glass down on the table and putting her head into her hands.

“it just feels so horrible! to have everyone hate you, and call you a slut, a whore, any other insult they can think of!” she’s choking on her own sobs now as he sets his wine glass next to hers and wraps his arms around her. tracing shapes onto her back.

“i’ve never been through this, i can’t imagine how you’re feeling. but i’m your best friend and i’ll do anything in my power to make you feel better. if you want i’ll go out there right now and track down those internet trolls. i can go all james bond on them.” she smiles at his joke but it barley reaches her eyes.

“can we go get ice cream? with full masks on, and every inch of our bodies covered so no one will know it us?” his smile is plastered across his face as he releases her. “i will buy you the entire menu if it’ll make you feel better.” she wipes her tears and stands up.

they’re sitting in his car, windows rolled tightly up. she’s laughing now. she’s laughing at his jokes. he made her laugh. his hands feel like they’re still on fire from when he held her. she was so close, he could feel her heartbeat. her face is lit up by the moon hanging low, almost casting a halo-like effect behind her head. how fitting.

there are traces of their endeavor on her chin, just below her bottom lip. he wipes a napkin across her face trying to rid of the splotch. she laughs and grabs the napkin from his hand

“i’m not a toddler, luke. i can wipe my own face.” she teases while she’s staring into the mirror and wiping her own face. “you’re so pretty” tumbles out of his mouth, barley above a whisper. by the time it traveled to her ears she froze, and went red. her insides felt like they were on fire, in contrast to the temperature outside of the car.

he was quick to apologize before she cut him off. “you’re pretty too. but i’m sure you hear that enough from your fangirls. does it ever creep you out how many people have your face on their bedroom wall? it freaks me out. a picture of me watching them like i’m jesus.” she diffuses the tension whilst also avoiding have a tender moment with him. self-sabotage.

“your fans are normal, though! mine literally figured out where the band was staying and sat outside the hotel for twelve hours.” he exasperated as she laughed. hard.

“they’re just devoted! they’d never call you a slut, even if you slept with the entirety of california.” her eyebrows furrow as she tries to say it seriously, but the idea of him sleeping around the state made her laugh all over again.

“well, i’m one of your fans and i’d never call you a slut. i actually run three different fan accounts for you just to show my pure unbridled devotion to you.” he holds a finger up acting as if he’s telling her a statistic.

“oh my! what a gentleman you are, luke! my reputations never been worse, so you must really like me.” in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman. they feel giddy and high off of eachother presence. as the laughter quiets down and she looks at the radio, she smiles softly seeing ‘you are in love (taylor’s version)’ playing at a low volume.

“you’re my best friend in the whole world, you know that? you’ve always been there and i hope you never leave.” he quietly confesses, his gaze fixed on the moon. desperately avoiding her eye contact.

“you’re my best friend too, luke. i really appreciate everything you did for me tonight. i feel a lot better, thank you.” her hand rests on top of his and a sweet grin settles upon her face.

his hand comes up to cup the side of her face and she leans into it, closing her eyes. “i love you.” he whispers. her eyes slowly open and before he can take it back she meshes their lips together. moving in sync as taylor swift plays softly in the background.

“i love you more, luke.”

#luke hemmings #luke hemming imagines #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings x reader fluff #5sos #5 seconds of summer #5sos fic #5sos fluff #luke 5sos #taylor swift #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings smut

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