I’m watching s5e18 rn and I just started to think abt Dean and his impact on others. Like I know this is a common knowledge but I need to write it (badly cus I can’t English).
Dean is like a glue.
He keeps everyone together. He’s the one that made Bobby try to keep living. Sam can’t stand hearing Dean say that he have no faith in him. That he doesn’t believe that Sam can say no to Lucifer. Because even when everyone around look at him like he’s a ticking bomb and even when Sam himself doubts his will power. Having Dean believe in his little brother is enough. Dean is being the only glue that keeps so many people form shattering. I won’t even mention Cas.
And the worst thing is we know.
We know that he’s been doing this from beginning. Always telling his mom that “Dad loves you. I won’t leave you”… Being the one to tell his shitty father that’s “it’s okey”
While Dean is in pain he thinks of others first.
Everything he ever did was to help his family and friends (also family bc family don’t end with blood).
I just think it’s important.
Dean lost his mother, father, Ellen, Jo and more. His family and friends. He let them down. He blames himself. He can’t stand seeing Sam going feral or bad.
And his so afraid bc he have so much responsibility. He need to choose. Between his family or the world. Dean know now that there is haven. He was there and Pamela said that it was worth dying for.
Dean feels like he already screwed up everything by breaking the first seal, letting so many good people die for nothing. He have no faith. In himself or the world.
He’s shattering slowly but steadily. He can’t keep his mask of bravado forever. And therefore he can’t keep anyone else from breaking.