#i’m quite excited. i’ve been thinking about what activities to do during it

[stevebabey]

Eddie has a test.

It took some time to formulate, a few too many times with guys careless with his heart, who leave behind more heartache than happiness littered in their memory. It’s fucking hard to tell.

More than once, there’s been a dude who promises between kisses i’m not going anywhere and takes more than his fill during a night which Eddie desperately hopes is passion and not some misguided lust. Only to wake a familiar empty side of the bed, them gone — skipping town, back in the arms of their parent-approved girlfriend, or back to spitting his name out with the word freak.

It’s what the test is for.

It’s specific, purposeful, all intending to weed out the straight boys who liked to dip their toes in the pool of queerness and leave Eddie to any consequences of the heart. Eddie doesn’t want to turn cruel, to be too jaded after feeling used too many times. It’s what the test is for. Protect the heart, see what interest is genuine.

Right now, he’s putting the test on Jared. New in town and in Eddie’s life, he’d captured the metalhead’s gaze from the glint of his pierced ear and light eyes that lingered. Kissed a little mean, and with too much teeth, but Eddie chalked it up to excitement. Jared seemed good. Nodded and smiled when Eddie found himself wrapped up in yet another DnD spiel. Said he found it endearing.

The test is simple.

A bid, a nudge, for attention. Never anything big or too exciting— that always got him specifically warped smirks designed to lead him along. Just something minuscule, like will you come take a look at my notes? or can i play you that riff once more? to see if it gave.

The pattern runs deep in Eddie’s dating history; same ol’ jerks who couldn’t bother to come and look at his new DnD sketches are always the ones who are only leasing a new sexuality for a month. It’s like setting a minefield and seeing who stumbles on a landmine, the bids getting ignored is as early as a warning sign he’ll ever get.

He tries the test on Jared.

It’s a Thursday night and Jared’s round at the trailer, lounging on Eddie’s sheets and still a little flushed from the night’s earlier activities. Usually it’s a good sign when the guys stick around after sex, not flying out the door once they’ve got what they want. By now, Eddie has drifted away from his bed, skittish thoughts already off and away with new campaign ideas.

He’s scrawling in a character design, some new boss, half troll, half hellhound, that requires a lot of finicky details worked out. The page is covered in scribbles, nothing in any semblance of lines and a crude first sketch is in the middle. It’s not quite the vision he had in mind but it took him an hour, so he’s hardly going to erase it. Besides, it looks pretty fucking metal to him.

“Hey,” Eddie calls out, a bit soft. No pet-names used— most of the time boys didn’t like them and wrinkled their nose. Those that didn’t mind, never returned them. “Can I show you the sketch I’ve been working on?”

He pauses, then launches into an explanation without waiting for a response, “It’s for the new campaign I’ve been planning, one of the bosses, and honestly, those little shrimps have no idea what’s coming for them.”

Jared, still slouched on the bed, peeks up a bit at the noise. He hadn’t really been doing much, just leafing through some of the junk beside Eddie’s bed. If Eddie let himself hold any hope, he would say it’s because he wants to know more about Eddie.

“Huh?” Jared asks, genuine enough that Eddie thinks maybe he didn’t hear him.

“A DnD boss?” Eddie says, eyebrows raising. He barrels on, thinking about how Dustin had helped propose the new boss, with a grin spreading across Eddie’s face. “Dustin, the little twerp, challenged me to pick a random combination of creatures and mash em’ together- see what crazy abilities come from it.”

“Who’s Dustin?” Jared asks, failing to sound like he cares. His eyes have wandered elsewhere, head falling back on the pillow and Eddie’s initial question about the sketch is long, long gone.

Oof. And that’s like 3 failed bids at one time because Eddie talks about Dustin all the time. Jared clearly isn’t interested in Eddie Munson, just what he can offer. Eddie’s heart grows a little colder.

“Look, I think I’m gonna get going, yeah?” Jared says, maybe sensing Eddie’s mood change as he begins to sit up and tug his shirt back over his bare skin. His sticks his feet in his shoes, laces them up. Eddie nods, tucks his notebook behind him and walks him out, plastering on a smile the whole time.

After ambling down the stairs to the trailer, Jared turns back, after searching the surrounding area for leering eyes, and he reaches out and gives Eddie’s hand a squeeze. Just a split second, before it flies back to his side.

Eddie would like to believe that he’s at least worthy of a goodbye kiss. Even if some wicked part of his brain says he’s not, that boys like Eddie Munson don’t get sweet goodbye kisses. Don’t get good relationships, just mindless flings.

The thought makes hurt flares in his gut, Eddie so desperately trying to protect his hope, and so before Jared can say anything, some pitiful goodbye, Eddie leans out the doorway and says, “Don’t call me.” then slams the trailer door.

It follows him around for the next week, his own personal storm-cloud to keep his head grey even when it’s sunny out. He mopes to Robin about it during her shift, probably the only other person he can talk to about it.

“So, you tested him? What does that even mean? Is there a gay test you know about that you haven’t told me about? That would be so uncool, man.”

She’s talking as she types, half paying attention to the computer. Steve is out in between the shelves, putting out a new batch of films— Eddie knows because he’d instinctively sought him out when he came in. Harrington was a pretty boy, sue him for wanting to enjoy the view.

Didn’t help he was also decidedly declared not-a-douchebag by Eddie during the whole upside down spiel and had the duality of biting off that bat’s head and somehow being the world’s biggest sweetheart for his friends. Friends that now included Eddie.

 What can you say? Going through that much together, including killing a death wizard and getting dragged out of an alternate dimension certainly forms some strong bonds. Plus, Steve was hot.

(Eddie denies the crush on the basis that would. never. happen.)

At the reminder of Vecna, Eddie winces and supposes he should be lucky he gets any sort of attention after that whole scandal. But it doesn’t stop him from draping himself across the front counter, laying pathetically with a pout on his lips. He shakes his head fervently at her question.

“Not a gay test, Robin.” He stresses. “It’s the Eddie-Munson-is-this-boy-gonna-stick-around-test.”

He rolls up onto his elbows and props his head into his waiting palms. “Gotta make sure I’m not being treated like some common whore.”

It’s meant to be a joke, a usual joking lilt to his voice, but the end of the sentences comes out a bit too bitter to land that way.

Robin’s sympathetic expression makes Eddie’s chest twinge in a way he doesn’t like. He waves her off. Slumps back down a bit before deciding he’s done enough wallowing in the public eye.

Robin doesn’t say anything as he pulls out his usual notebook, pages weathered and filled. Eddie usually hangs around the store on days without plans, flits between Robin and Steve, and scribbles in his notebook. She bites her lip, gaze moving between the book and the resigned expression on Eddie’s face as he turns to the latest page— the strange hellhound troll mashed up boss.

“Okay, I’ll bite—what’s the test involve?” She asks, pausing in her typing for a moment. Her hands don’t stop moving, still stressing the fabric of her pants twitchily. Eddie perks his head up, clutching his pencil a bit tighter and rolls right into it.

“It’s not even really a test, technically, but doesn’t matter- that’s just what I call it - it’s like a bid?”

Robin raises her brows and they disappear under her fringe. “A bid?”

“Yeah! A bid!” He waves his arms around as he speaks, gesticulating a bit wildly. “It’s like— like asking them to come look at something stupid and small, just to see if they’ll give your interests time of the day, yanno?”

He punches a finger down into his sketchbook. “A guy who can’t even be bothered to look at a sketch I worked on for an hour? Douchebag.”

Eddie’s tone turns a bit sing-song as he continues, like it’ll somehow distract from the bleakness of them. “Ergo, not sticking around.”

Robin’s hands finally stop their messing, becoming completely still against her legs. She finally swivels her body to face Eddie, a furrow between her brows. Her lips are quirked up, just a bit, like she knows something Eddie doesn’t. He feels his apprehension grow as he slumps his chin back into his hands.

“You mean, like how Steve is with you?”

Eddie stands a bit straighter at that, some flushed combination of disbelief mixing with delight flooded his body.

“What?” It comes out a bit more squeaky than intended. Eddie clears his throat, waves his hands, anything to stop that smirk from spreading across Robin’s face — he can feel his cheeks glow a bit warmer at the mere idea. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Robin smiles a bit and nods over to where Steve is. “Try it, test him.”

Eddie follows her nod, casting his eyes across the store to find Steve. He finds him situated in the romance section, a pile of cardboard box stacked beside him, the top box open and ready to be unpacked.

But Steve’s clearly been distracted by the first film in the box — he’s sunk deep into his mom-stance with one hip popped, one hand on his hip, the other holding the film as he reads the back cover of it very intently.

Eddie watches for just a moment, watches Steve squint and pull the case just a bit closer, wrinkle his nose adorably, snort a little laugh at whatever he’s reading — and dammit, this is just a fast track to insanity if Eddie watches him any longer.

“Steve,” he calls, too hesitant and too quiet. Steve’s head doesn’t move, he just flips the cover back over, marveling at the front. Eddie tries again. “Harrington!”

Steve’s head pops up, eyes skirting about to see who’s calling him. He doesn’t move when he sees it’s Eddie calling, just raises his brows. “Yeah?”

Eddie swallows, tries not to think of Robin paying close attention to both him and Steve. He grips his notebook a bit tighter even though he’s not entirely convinced Robin’s right. Steve Harrington doesn’t like DnD — not even for Dustin who has self-proclaimed himself Steve’s ‘adorable little brother that he never had’. Steve is hardly going to care if it’s Eddie asking.

“Do you wanna take a look at this sketch I’m working on?” He asks, as casual as he can.

Steve’s features give away just a hint of surprise, a blink as he comprehends what’s been said. Eddie holds his breath, ready to turn to Robin and say ‘I told you so!’ and to pretend that he’s not secretly hoping Steve will say yes.

“Sure,” Steve says, slotting the film back into the cardboard box and beginning to meander between the shelves towards the front desk. Eddie doesn’t even get time to be surprised because Steve’s suddenly there, in front of him, all expectant.

Eddie opens his mouth, thinks the better of it, and snaps it back closed. Instead, he thrusts the notebook to the side along the countertop, opened to the page of the sketch and doesn’t say anything. In the background, Robin snorts lightly. Eddie shoots her a glare.

If Eddie could look at Steve, he’d see the lightly amused expression on his face, but Eddie only focuses on the book. Really focuses. God, if he looks at Steve he’ll probably get some stupid mooned expression on his face that would totally give away his tiny stupid not-a-crush.

In his peripheral, he can see Steve sidle a little closer and lean over to peer at the page. And while he looks over it intently, Eddie let’s his eyes drift up, taking in the side of his face.

Curses his stupid handsome face. Then curses it some more when Steve lights up in recognition, turning to Eddie, excited to have a sliver of an idea what Eddie’s showing him. Normally, it’s all mumbo-jumbo to Steve. Not that he hasn’t tried to keep up but those kids are ahead of the curve and Steve wasn’t about to embarrass himself asking them to slow down their explanations.

“Woah, is this that one that Dustin was talking about?” Eddie thinks there might be a bit of genuine excitement leaking into Steve’s words.

“The weird like, mashed up, uh, what’s the word? Hyp- hypb—“

“Hybrid,” Eddie supplies, voice cool. His heart is not feeling so cool. Jesus Christ, Steve wasn’t supposed to pass Eddie’s test— he wasn’t even supposed to be tested. In order for that happen, they’d have to even be fooling around and Eddie blames his building blush on that mere suggestion.

“Yeah!” Steve raps his knuckles against the countertop and takes a second look at the drawing, closer this time. He looks back up at Eddie, so he knows he’s completely sincere when he says, “This is really cool, man.”

“Okay.” Eddie breathes, sounding a bit stupid. He remembers himself, remembers Robin watching him essentially bluescreen at the praise from Steve and wrenches his awed smile into a familiar smug type of grin. 

“Of course it is, Steve-o,” He quickly amends, reaching back and tugging the notebook back. It’s closes with a quick snap, like Eddie’s afraid Steve will take another look. “She’s not finished yet, of course.”

Eddie had to bite his tongue to keep it from either taking an insanely egotistical route to pretend Steve’s praise hadn’t had a profound effect on him, or even worse, start trying to suddenly be humble — oh this ol’ thing? it’s nothing really, just threw it together quickly— Eddie nearly melts against the counter in relief when the bell on the front door saves him.

A customer enters the store, instantly taking Steve’s attention and he bounds off to help them, an easy smile on his face.

Eddie waits until Steve and the customer wandered off into the aisles to release his breath. He doesn’t look at Robin, just turns and presses his forehead down against the countertop. Then raises it just a bit, and thunks it back down, a couple of times for good measure.

“Okay, okay—“ Robin’s gone a bit wide eyed and she waves her hands at Eddie’s pathetic form, his head still bonking against the counter. “Stop doing that. Jesus, Eddie, are the dramatics always necessary?”

His motions stop at Robin’s words and Eddie’s whips his head up. He narrows his eyes at her, and as if to prove his point, exaggeratedly jabs a finger at her.

“Hey! Never deny my right to be a drama queen. It is my god given right as an American citizen—”

“He passed.” Robin says, cutting off what was about to be a very long rant about god knows what. Eddie just didn’t want her to say what she was about to. “Your test. He passed, didn’t he?“

That. He didn’t want her to say that.

“He’s being a good friend! A very good nice friend!” Eddie counters, only sounding a little bit whiny which takes half the conviction out of his words. He slams his hands down against the wood. “That test is for— it’s not for him! It’s for—”

An annoyed noise comes out of Eddie’s throat and he aims for one more thunk of his head against the counter before tugging it back up and meeting Robin’s smug expression. She’s too smug. Her whole face is smug smug smug and Eddie scowls. He points a deliberate finger at her again.

“Different context, alright? That—” He waves an arm behind him, in the direction of Steve carelessly. “—doesn’t count. Nope. Not- that’s not how the test works.”

Robin sighs, as if she realises how fruitless it is to keep chucking this argument between the two of them. Her hands finally resume their typing and Eddie lets his head drop again, this time resting it against the wood a tad more gentle. He slumps, blowing a pointless raspberry as he tries to evacuate every thought that’s entertaining Steve as more. Or Steve wanting more of Eddie.

“Look,” Robin says suddenly, halting her typing once more. Eddie rolls his head so he can see her but doesn’t bother to lift it. She’s sideways in his vision, but still barreling on in that Robin way. “One last thing and then I swear, I’ll leave it.”

Eddie raises his brows. Says nothing.

“Have you considered,” She pauses, and appears to be trying to pick her words carefully. “whether anyone else is putting their bids on you?”

Eddie wrinkles his nose, knowing exactly what she’s hinting at. Subtlety has never been Robin’s strong suit. It’s even more obvious when her eyes dart across the store — Eddie seriously doubts she’s talking about the random customer that had just entered.

“Just think about it?” She pleads, and Eddie feels his annoyance at how easily he can feel his heart roll over. “See if you notice any bids from... anyone! Anyone at all.”

Eddie picks his head up, chances a glance towards Steve and admits, there’s no harm in trying. Even though, Steve had surprised him today Eddie can find a dozen reasons to chalk that up to. A dozen reasons that don’t include mutual feelings.

Eddie mulls it over, because because what are the chances really? Steve putting bids out to him? To specifically Eddie? The chances are slim to none.

So the answer he gives is, “Sure.”

He’ll get to tell Robin later she can stuff it and wipe her smug expression off with the most righteous i told you so on the planet. There was no way she was right about this, right?

Part two. Part three.

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Male Alive with white rabbit reader?

Yandere Male Alice x White Rabbit Reader

You were the first to meet Alice. His guide back into the wonderful world of Wonderland. It kind of was your job to keep tabs on him; properly wiggling your ears and puffy tail in his sights as he followed you all throughout the kingdom. But once he routinely returned you found this position fruitless. No longer did you need to trick him to relearn the sights and know-how's of Wonderland. He knew them all. And any lack of knowledge or activity was easily filled by the Queen of Hearts or the dashing Mad Hatter or even the illustrious Cheshire cat. It hurt a little but you would be fine in no time, after all, time was constantly moving and you had no time to grieve for the growing distance of a childhood friend crush. It was time to move on. 

“Special delivery, your highness!’ 

“(Y/n)!”

“Sorry, White.”

You lifted yourself from a bow as the White king tightly wrapped his arms around you. You let yourself hug back trying to be as wholesome as you could while pressing your face against his clothed muscles. 

“I’m quite glad you and your sister are making amends! It really does wonders for her mood.”

You cheered snidely as you watched the king grimace at the opened chest. He closed the lid, gagging as he waved for another disgusted servant to come and carry it away. 

“Didn’t you relay that actual hearts aren’t…good gifts to give?”

“You know the Queen of Hearts loves her labels! It’d be a crime not to give you one!”

“Right.”

You giggled as the White King shuddered again before guiding you to join him over a pot of tea. Seated across from one another you two fell into old patterns chatting away over nothings of all sorts. It wasn’t until he began to recount something Alice had done that he brought notice to the sour twitch of your nose.

“What was that?”

“What's what?”

“Your button nose is twitching again and not in the good way. What’s wrong?”

“But nothing’s wrong, it's just the way my nose is!” 

“(Y/n),” he gave a stern look that had your ears drooping; you couldn’t help but sigh.

“I’d just rather not talk about him, that's all.”

A silence fell over you two and you avoided the gray gaze of the king as you took a long sip of your tea. You let yourself focus on the wild flavor, a far cry from the typical basic flavor White would have used. You let yourself sniff at the tea’s fumes, letting your nose flex as you process the smells. 

Cinnamon. Tiger’s tears. A hare’s insanity.

“Mad Hatter’s tea? In the White Palace?”

“I had those two mix something up from the brew we had during Red’s tournament. How long has it been since you’ve seen them last?”

“Uh, it's been…a while.”

White gave a worried chuckle before giving a straight face. 

“I’ve seen that look before. Nobody’s forgetting you, (Y/n). Everyone’s just excited he’s back…and I think everyone’s just enjoying his typical…outside perspective.”

“Yeah we love you for all your speedy paranoia!” Smiling wistfully beside the king was none other than–

“Cheshire?! Could you please stop doing that!” 

“Sorry King Le Blanc! Just figured I’d invite Bunny since Hatter was feeling…experimental again.”

You deadpanned at the floating smile. 

“You just want me to record how quickly someone is going to get injured or intoxicated.”

The smile giggled before twirling around to reveal the face that came with it. Cheshire's favorite part of Hatter’s experimental spells was the truly wonderlandian experience of utter chaos. Nonetheless you finished your tea quickly before leaving the white castle with White escorting you out. 

“Until we meet again, (Y/n).”

“Farewell your highness.”

You quickly hopped down the steps of the White palace as you followed the constant vanishing body parts of Cheshire as you surged deeper into the forest. With no words shared between you continued on, enjoying the noiseness of the Wonderlandian wildlife. 

“Hey, (Y/n)?”

“Yes?”

“A-are you mad at him?”

The serious tone from someone as playful as Cheshire had you turning to look concerned at the fully materialized cat who continued to stare pointedly back at you. They had stopped walking which made you slow down to turn back to him.

“Do you mean White? Or..Alice?”

You didn’t need to hear an answer, it was glaringly obvious.

“Are you mad at him?”

“I’m not mad…does everyone think I am?”

Your surprised response didn’t seem to bring him ease. 

“...Then what do you feel about him?”

This line of questioning made your ears stand up and not in a good way. Your hairs stood up and your legs geared to run. Only affirming your worst fears Cheshire’s slitted eyes were dilated and his tail lashing around behind him. 

You were being watched. No, hunted. And even as predator and prey species respectively you both were naturally on edge. You wanted to believe it was Wonderlandian wildlife but no creature other than the Queen of Heart’s jabberwocky could incite such an atmosphere. 

“I’d…rather not say…not while we have a tea tasting to attend.”

You kept your hand steady as you pointed at your pocket watch, starting to walk in the direction of the tea party’s site. You kept your walk as casual as you could despite the tensing of your muscles. You beckoned Cheshire, subtly snapping him from his fearful stupor to join you in your attempt in normalcy. You accepted the quivering fingers that reached for your own, keeping him grounded as the feeling of a hunter’s gaze refused to let up. 

It was a long walk. Finally coming to a close as you found the opening in the forest leading to the grounds of the tea party always hosted several meters from Hatter’s home and shop. The feeling of being stalked let up as you both followed the increasing noises of the parties attendendants. You wanted to hold out until you were surely in the clear but Cheshire had other plans. Feeling his swelling sense of relief you could only be pulled along as the cat vanished once more pulling you forward with his invisible grip on your hand. 

“Sorry for our early arrival! This bunny has a habit of scampering away!” 

“No worries, you're hardly tardy at all! Bun Bun we were just talking about how delicious this blend of fruits would be with a peacock plumed top hat!” 

You sat beside Cheshire who still was holding your hand tight in his as you sat further away from the couple. You chuckled as your cousin erratically interjected with his own commentary.

“Nein! PLUCKED NOT PLUMED! A fedora is the better option!” 

The couple went on and on easily forgetting that you and Cheshire were in attendance. The two of you giggled as you each poured one another a cup of tea as you watched their theatrics. The two were entertaining in and of themselves which made any event bearable…especially after what you two had experienced.

“So? What was that about?”

You whispered to the cat refusing to look away from the Hare and Hatter as their discussion escalated. The cat took a sip of his tea, holding the pot away as Hatter reached for something to throw. 

“Can’t tell but its becoming more of an issue.”

Dodging a chair leg you hid your astonished expression behind your cup as you sipped at the interesting blend. 

“A person? Able to do that? But why? We weren’t alone, not to mention we aren’t easy targets anyway. Our presence should have been enough to scare anything with pressure sensing off.”

Cheshire paused. As if debating on answering before sending a pained exhale into his cup. 

“That is if that person could pressure sense at all…”

Cheshire looked at the look of horrified realization. Grimacing once more as he watched your lips form the question everyone’s been asking.

“You have to give him something. Confess to him or accept when he asks you.”

“....”

“You have to sate him. Date him. Please. He’s become ravenous.”

“But I didn’t even know he–”

“I know…I know…but he’s getting violent.”

“Violent?”

“Mock Turtle was the first. Then Dormouse. He’s frustrated. Stop him please.”

You wanted to press further. Question his shaking indigo irises and downturned lips. But before you could ask any further your ears perked up as Hatter called to the newest arrival. 

“Alice! Pleased you could make it! Care for a plume of tea!”

“Why that would be lovely, Hatter.” 

Alice smoothly inserted himself into the scene casually conversing with Hare who turned his throwing fits towards him. You turned to address the cat only to find he’d vanished. Feeling a squeeze at your grip and the trailing fingertips as he officially vacated the tea party. You wanted to question further only for the answer to plop beside you with a blinding smile.

“Hi there (Y/n)! It's been a while since we’ve seen each other.”

“Y-yeah it's been four weeks. Crazy, huh?”

You gulped the frog in your throat as you held up your pocket watch. Just as quickly, you pocketed it once more as Hatter called for both of your attentions. You tried to keep your eyes trained on Hatter’s elaborate display. Trying to ignore the hard staring that was being done by the owner of those baby blue eyes.

“--And this will be the final addition to our glorious concoction!”

“Mark it Bunny!” 

You deadpanned as you obeyed your cousin pulling your pocket watch out and starting the timer. With the clock ticking Mad Hatter went off; pouring various tubes and objects into a boiling pot. You let yourself be entranced by the different colorful puffs of smoke that spilled from their cauldron. As the smoke persisted you felt a tightness in your throat, nose twitching in familiarity once again.

“The *cough* mandrake root?! Hatter you mad–”

Before you could yell anything more at Hatter the warm hands of Alice reeled your attention. Clutching at you shoulders he pulled you to his body; close enough to speak into your ear.

“Come on (Y/n). Lets get out of here before both of us pass out.”

Without waiting for a response he practically carried you with him ducking into the forest. Eventually running away from the overreaching cloud of smoke leaving you both to gain your bearings deep in the Wonderlandian thicket. Watching Alice heave with his hands on his knees, you were reminded of Cheshire’s plea. You hoped maybe now was a good time to address it. 

“S-so Alice I heard you–whoa!”

He stood up eyes, practically glowing with an unsetting glaze as he stepped uncomfortably close to you. Now that you noticed a blush settled heavily on his face along with the recognizable hearts growing in his pupils.

“Oh no, an aphrodesia plant?! Alice are you okay?”

The blonde giggled playfully, “I’m just fine. In fact I have something real important to ask you~!”

“Uhm okay, go ahead.” You had a sneaking suspicion as to what this would be.

“Mmmh!” He moaned as he hugged himself, as he came even closer to you. 

“Be mine. Be all mine (Y/n)!” 

He grabbed at your red vest pulling you into him as he ran his hand in your hair and over your ears. Letting his eyes roll back as he inhaled your scent; sending a pleasurable shiver up his spine. 

“L-like uhm dating?”

He giggled some more as he hugged you tighter rubbing his nose all over your hair and face. He shook his head as if you had said the funniest thing ever only moving you along with him as he began to sway. 

“No~No~Be mine. All mine. Okay? You promise right? Otherwise I can’t help but demolish all those fools that keep you away from me!” 

“O-okay!” 

You hastily agreed lightly returning his hug as he registered your answer. Squealing he spun you around once more before lifting you into his arms as he strode deeper into the forest. 

You didn’t know where he was going or what it even meant to be his, but you figured this was for the best. For once it served you right not to run.

[personasintro]

Are you interested in posting? I feel like you're forced to post by people on the internet. You seem to be not interested in writing anymore. Going on hiatus for 8 months and not even remembering it? People do get excited to know more, isn't that the whole reason ffs are made for? I'm not hating on your but rather suggesting you to just end this mess. You'll be so much more at ease. If you're gonna disappear for almost year straight then why bother posting? People are not gonna welcome you with heart eyes.

Quit writing. It's ok.

I think you’re projecting here something that didn’t happen. First of all, what hiatus? I never had one 😭 sure, I wasn’t as active as I used to be but I was still pretty much interacting with everyone. I feel like most of you forget that I write other stories too. During the wait for Mh58, I updated Employed and if I’m not mistaken, wrote (not many) but a drabble or two as well. And lastly. Why being so damn dramatic? 😭 for what? Even if I updated once a year or decided to, who are you guys to point a gun at writers for that? I’m still pretty much open and vocal about my current situation and I’m sorry but it’s actually laughable how everyone becomes so serious and turn into judges, acting like I’ve done something that I should be shamed for 😂

I absolutely understand there are readers who are extremely excited and would want the entire story out like, all at once. But you also have to understand that things happen in life and sometimes writers can’t stay as consistent as they used to. I also think it’s important to be honest about it which I’ve been, therefore messages like this one can’t offend me. I know in my heart that I’ve been more honest than some deserved and I didn’t have to be. But I chose to be, partly for feeling bad and sad that I can’t post stories all the time. Whether this is just a period or it’s gonna be like this… I don’t know but I don’t hold anyone here against their will.

And trust me, if I want to quit — I’ll do it and I don’t need anyone coming to my inbox telling me that instead ☺️ I’m pretty much capable of deciding serious stuff like that on my own.

Lastly, I hope you have an amazing day and everyone who took their time reading this! ☺️✨

[megs-98]

There's A First for Everything

Ahhh, very excited to post this piece. I wrote this for @bloodlessbhaalbabe for a valentine's day gift exchange :3 hope everyone loves as much as they do!

Summary: (Taking place post game and featuring @bloodlessbhaalbabe 's OC Elyra) After celebrating Love Day in Thaniel's Realm with the refugees and his love, Elyra, Halsin sets up a romantic evening for the two. He has something important to tell her before the fun starts.

Pairing: Halsin x f!OC (Elyra)

Tags: Explicit!, mutual pining, fluff, love confession, f! receiving oral, inappropriate actually quite appropriate use of entanglement spell, vaginal sex, lots of praise. I think that's it

Word count: 2.7k

You were sitting at the dining table in the home you share with Halsin, pressing dried rose petals in a mortar and pestle with beeswax, making one of your signature nail stains. You heard the front door open and close, signaling that your lover had returned home for the evening. 

“Elyra, my love.” He said as he pressed a kiss into your temple. “How has the day treated you?” 

“A lot better now that you’re here, handsome.” You winked at him as you told him about how you taught some self-defense classes to the tiefling children, and adults that wanted some lessons as you applied the bright red stain to your nails. 

“So resilient, my heart. I surely do regret not being able to observe your teachings. You always look so beautiful when partaking in.. strenuous activities.” 

Halsin took up residence behind your chair now, rubbing your shoulders as he smoked his pipe. 

“I wished to ask if you were busy tomorrow evening, I have something special planned, so long as you wish to partake in the celebrations with me.”

You quirked an eyebrow as you leaned your head back to meet his eyes resting your head against his midsection. “You know I’m never too busy for you, big guy. What’s the occasion?” 

“Well, tomorrow will be the celebration of Love Day. I have festivities planned for everyone during the day and something truly special planned for a woman of your caliber.”  

“I think it’s safe to say how we spend every evening could be a celebration of Love Day.” You laugh as you take his pipe from him. “But yes, you can count me in, I’m very interested to see what you have planned for the special day.” Taking a puff from his pipe, Halsin leans down and kisses you on the forehead as he gives you a small chuckle. 

~~

You woke early with Halsin the next day to help him get decorations up. Simple garlands of leaves from the various trees in Thaniel’s Realm painted reds and pinks, some having little hearts painted on them,  an obvious activity from the children yesterday. Moving along to help the other adults set up different activities for the day, you and Halsin kept stealing glances at each other whenever the opportunity presented itself. 

“I see those looks. The Druid Halsin loves you very much, Elyra. I’m sure he has something beautiful planned for you tonight.” You heard an older tiefling woman say. You smiled as you nodded. 

“I’m not sure what he has planned tonight, he won’t tell me. You know, it’s odd. Out of all my past lovers, I’ve never been with someone during an actual Love Day celebration. I’m not sure what to expect, but if I know Halsin, he won’t disappoint.” 

“Well, there’s a first for everything, dear. I’m sure it will be everything you always imagined it would be.” She said as she gave your shoulder a reassuring squeeze. 

You enjoyed the day watching Halsin play with the young ones as they showed him their arts and crafts, even getting some from the children yourself, with Halsin coming over periodically to check in and give you a kiss. This wasn’t how you envisioned your holiday being spent, with dozens of refugees and orphans in lands that were once shrouded by a curse. Least of all with such an attractive and massive wood-elf by your side. Never did you think getting kidnapped and infected by Illithids would have resulted in one of the best things in your life, but here you were. Being showered with love by the people you helped save and the man you love most. 

As the day came to a close, you helped adults serve dinner to the children, taking a plate of your own once they had all been served. You sat down on a log a bit farther away from everyone else, taking in the conversations and atmosphere. You heard a twig snap from behind you, causing your head to turn. Seeing Halsin coming out of the brush, you relaxed. 

“Apologies, my heart. I did not mean to frighten you. I was just getting things set up for us later.”

You smiled as he sat down next to you, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You spoil me, you know that right?” 

“Anything and everything for you, love.” He said as he grabbed your chin, making your eyes meet his. “Once dinner has been cleared, meet in the clearing by the lake. There I will show you just what I have in store for us tonight.” He pressed a kiss into your lips as you let out a small moan, trying to deepen the kiss. 

Halsin laughed softly as he pulled away. “Patience, dear. You’ll have me soon enough. Enjoy your dinner and the company we keep. I’ll see you soon.” 

He got up from the log and withdrew back to the woods as you watched him walk away. Admiring the way he filled out his pants, how his leg muscles contracted and relaxed as he took his steps. You began imagining what salacious activities your man had planned for you, causing your thighs to rub together as you felt your core start to ache. You shake those thoughts from your head as your attention is brought back to the others sitting near you. You impatiently finished your dinner, silently willing the others to finish up a bit faster. Once everyone was done and you had helped clean up, you ran back to your house to quickly change. Opting for an off the shoulder, slightly see through, white dress that stopped just below the knee. You opt to leave on your boots since you knew you’d be walking through tall grass to get to the clearing. 

Making your way through the brush, you slowly saw lights come into view as you approached the clearing Halsin spoke of. You were quite privy to the location as this was where you and Halsin usually met each other if you were not in your shared bed. It was obvious Halsin had cast a dancing lights cantrip, as you saw him illuminated underneath the floating orbs, leaning against a tree whittling. Laid before him was a blanket with a bowl of plums, a jar of honey, and a bottle of wine with two cups. 

Halsin smiles as he sees you walking up to him, putting his whittling project in his pocket. 

“There you are, my heart. Still after all this time, my heart swells with ecstasy every time I see you. I hope you remember our first night together as fondly as I do.” 

“Course I do. I made you so crazy for me you almost turned into the bear.” You say with a wink as you rub your hands against his chest. “Am I gonna see the bear tonight?” 

You see a faint flash of gold roll over Halsin’s eyes as he gives you a hum of acknowledgement. 

“While I do appreciate the enthusiasm, this is a night between just you and I in our most earthly forms.” You feel his hands slowly down your sides, how he was obviously continuing to memorize all of your curves. Firmly grabbing your hips as he brings his forehead against yours. 

Having led you to the blanket, Halsin kneels down and motions for your foot as he takes off each of your boots then motions for you to sit down as he sits next to you. He reaches his hand into his pocket pulling out his project, placing it in your hand. You look down and see a palm sized wooden heart. 

You hear Halsin clear his throat, looking at him and you can see just how nervous he still is after being together for months. You place the wooden heart in one of your boots, for safekeeping, and turn back to the wood-elf who you had fallen in love with. Facing him and taking his hands, you give him your full attention. 

“Elyra, I have told you this once before, but I must tell you again. My heart does stir lightly, but it does when I am near you. Between the shadow curse and being archdruid, I was beginning to lose myself. But you, my heart, you lifted the fog and helped me see that there is more in life for me to explore. You being one of them. I love this life we have together and I love you most of all.” 

“Aren’t you such a big, sweet softie.” You say as you squeeze his hands “I love you too. I never thought this is where my life would be, but I’m glad I’m here with you.” 

You grab a plum and hand him one as he presses a kiss into your temple. You watch him eat the fruit as you pour yourself a cup of wine, taking a drink and setting it to the side. Now it is Halsin who watches you as you grab a plum of your own. He watches closely as you drizzle honey over the fruit and take a bite, causing its juice and honey to drip down you, some landing on your cleavage.

A low growl emanates from Halsin as you hear him whisper “Oak father preserve me”. He reaches a hand out, being sure to keep his eyes locked on yours, as he uses his thumb to take a swipe of juice and honey off the top of your breasts, coming closer to you as he sucks it off his thumb.

Keeping eye contact, Halsin moved in even closer. “My, my, little dove, you’re a bit messy tonight. Can I help you clean yourself up?” 

His closeness causes you to breathe harder, making your breasts heavy closer to his face. 

“I’d be more disappointed if you didn’t. Help a girl out, huh?” Your request came out breathier than you had anticipated. 

Receiving the consent he was waiting for, Halsin presses a bruising kiss to your lips, causing you both to moan. Halsin slowly works his way down your neck, leaving marks as he went, until reaching your chest. He licked the rest of the honey off your chest before he pulled back to look at you again, ensuring that you were enjoying yourself. He saw that you were leaning your head back as your eyes rolled back. Satisfied that you were enjoying yourself, Halsin reaches down and pulls the hemline of your dress down as he lays you down. Halsin slots himself between your thighs as he pulls your dress down more, revealing your breasts. He takes a nipple in his mouth as he paws at your other breast. Spurred on by hearing your moans, he continues working your dress down your body, silently thanking Silvanus for the loose fabric it was made of. Once he had you completely stripped, he sat up and marveled at your form. Running his hands down your body, grabbing handfuls of your plush stomach and thick thighs. 

“Silvanus truly took his time creating you, my heart. Oak father, preserve me, you are so beautiful.”  

Halsin leans down, placing tender kisses across every inch of skin he could see, leaving the occasional mark as he kissed closer to your aching core.  He places your thighs over his shoulders as he lays himself back down. He slowly kisses his way down each of your thighs as you card a hand through his hair, hearing a moan as your nails scratch Halsin’s scalp. Needing more, you grab a handful of his hair, attempting to guide to where you need. 

“Patience, my heart.” You hear as Halsin chuckles. “You’ll get what you need, and much more.” 

Just as you are about to protest, a gasp leaves you as you feel Halsin’s mouth around your clit. Tongue circling as he gently sucks on it, making your grip on his hair tighten even more. His hands come around your thighs, most definitely leaving bruises from his tightening grip, as he brings his tongue down to your slick folds. His name tumbles off your lips as you moan his name, feeling your core beginning to tighten, knowing that you’re close. You grind against his face trying to get yourself there faster. You feel as Halsin withdraws one of his hands from your thigh, quickly finding entrance as he continues to work your overstimulated clit. He pumps one finger in and out of you, quickly adding a second one after feeling how wet you are. As he continues fingering you, hitting that sweet spot oh so well, you back arches as you find yourself closer and closer to the edge.

“You’re doing so well for me. I love feeling the way you tighten around my fingers as you get closer to finishing. I need you to finish for me, love, like the good girl you are. Can you do that?” 

As you hear his praise and have your sense filled by the man, between his ministrations in your cunt, continuing to use his tongue to circle and flick your clit, and his strong hand around your thigh, you quickly find yourself tumbling over the edge. Halsin doesn’t stop though, he continues his work as he moans into you feeling you cum on his hand. Halsin kisses his way up your body as you struggle to catch your breath, feeling him take his pants off as he does. He grabs your hands with his, lacing his fingers between yours, and gives you a passionate kiss. 

“I need you to keep your hands above your head for me and if it becomes too much please do not hesitate to tell me.”  

You quirk an eyebrow at him, wondering just what the druid has in store for you. You hear him whisper “Voco vineae” with a flash of green, you feel as roots come up out of the ground, pinning down your wrists. You flash Halsin a mischievous smile as he leans down to kiss you again. Playing with one of your breasts as he gave his throbbing cock a couple of strokes before lining up with your entrance. You both moan as he sinks his length into you, stuffing his cock into you down to the hilt with little resistance. He brings your legs over his chest before he leans forward placing his forearms on both sides of your head. He feels you clench again as before he even starts thrusting, you turned on from how he has you folded and pinned down. He starts thrusting at an achingly slow speed, causing you to whimper as you need more. Need to feel more of his cock in you, need to dig your nails into his skin.. You just need more of him. After what feels like an eternity of his languid strokes, Halsin begins thrusting faster and harder, feeling himself come close to the edge. You moan his name as your head falls back even farther, eyes rolling in the back of your head. 

“That’s it, love. You take my cock so well, it’s as if you were made for me.” 

You struggle against the roots more as you hear his praise, wanting to feel his skin against yours. He continues his punishing pace of thrusting into, still perfectly hitting that sweet spot, just the way he knows you like. You, once again, quickly find yourself stepping over the edge as you finish. Once Halsin feels you tighten around him as you finish, his pace falters as he finds himself coming closer to the edge himself. With a wave of his hand, he dismisses the roots around your wrists and pulls you close to him, continuing his pace as he does. You instinctively pull him into a kiss as you wrap your arms around his neck, slipping your tongue in his mouth as he moans into you. He continues to hold you while he fucks you as he finally reaches his climax, stifling his moan as he buries his head in the crock of your neck. He slowly stops thrusting into you as he rides out his high. He lays down on his side, bringing you with him, as he kisses the top of your head. 

You rest your head against his chest, still fighting for breath as you lay there. “You’re gonna have to do that thing with the roots more often, big guy.” You say as you grab at his shirt.

Halsin gives you a laugh as he hears your words. “That can be arranged, my love.” He begins to rub your back as he tangles his body between yours as you both quickly find sleep.

[shanardo13]

Obikin College AU - RA/Don!Obi-Wan/First year!Anakin - Part One

I’ve been reading a lot of modern au Obikin fics recently, so one could say I’m on a bit of a kick.

That’s where this idea comes from!! I’m gonna outline it below so I can reference this if I ever decide to write it/for your enjoyment. Also, the pic is what I imagine they look like 😎.

Link to Part Two

Link to Part Three

Anakin and Obi-Wan go to Uni together.

It’s Anakin’s first year, and he moves into residence ready for FROSH week.

Obi-Wan is a RA/ Don for Anakin’s residence building, mainly because it looks good on a résumé and it helps cut living expenses.

Anakin becomes obsessed with him. When he first moved in, he was honestly going to skip all the FROSH stuff, opting to explore the new city on his own. After meeting Obi-Wan he is the first one to show up for all their activities, volunteering to help whenever he can. Anything to be on the older boy’s radar.

They get through FROSH, Anakin flirting desperately through little side comments the entire time. Obi-Wan just believes he’s excited and eager about the events.

During FROSH, Anakin makes friends with other incoming students - Padmé, Rex and Ahsoka. They become a little group. Everyone is quite fed up with Anakin’s Obi-Wan obsession after the week. They pray once the semester starts and they no longer spend every day with Obi-Wan he will shut up. He doesn’t.

“Dude, do us all a favour and actually talk to him.” “Please, Anakin, we really can’t take this anymore.”

“Oh Come on guys, what are friends for if not to listen to each other ramble about highly likely unrequited crushes?”

He does try to talk to Obi-Wan one on one during FROSH. To say it was a little awkward would be an understatement.

“So, what’s your major?”

“English/Literature with a minor in philosophy.”

“That’s nice. I read a book once.”

They kinda just stare at each other and then Anakin rushes back to his little group of friends who all wear mortified expressions.

“Dude…”

“Don’t even! I was nervous!”

After this, they don’t really speak during FROSH, until the last night of events. They are the only two left cleaning up after the evenings activities.

“Thanks for all of your help. I really appreciate it.”

“Oh, no worries!” Please marry me

“Out of curiosity… what is the one book you’ve read?”

“I’ve read more than one book!”

“I sort of figured, considering the University acceptance and all.”

“Yeah… I don’t know why I said that.”

“It’s alright, it was charming. In a himbo sort of way.”

Oh my god, you think I’m charming? Take me right here in the common room, I’ll show you charming.

The semester starts and they don’t see as much of each other anymore.

Part of Obi-Wan’s job as RA/Don is to take shifts working the desk in the lobby of their building. He does this every Friday night.

Anakin discovers this by accident. He and the gang had been at an off-campus party. They’re coming home late one night, all quite drunk.

As they walk through the door and see Obi-Wan everyone starts giggling and poking at Anakin as he flushes.

“Hello folks.” Obi-Wan greets cheerily.

“Hello Obi-Wan.” Ahsoka smirks at Anakin.

“Did you tell him yet?” Rex pushes him forward.

“Tell me what?”

Nothing! It was nice seeing you Obi-Wan!” Anakin ushers them all toward his room, leaving behind a confused Obi-Wan.

Every Friday afterward, Anakin takes advantage of the knowledge that Obi-Wan is working the desk.

He hangs around, striking casual conversation. They talk about anything and everything. School, classes, hobbies, music, other interests. They become well-acquainted.

“You’re telling me you’d pick The Cure over the Smiths?”

“Oh, of course. Easily. The Smiths are so depressing.”

“So is The Cure, idiot! At least Morrisey’s hot about it.”

“Are you saying Robert Smith isn’t hot?”

Anakin flirts shamelessly. Oblivious, Obi-Wan doesn’t catch the hints and just thinks Anakin is killing time waiting for his friends. Unbeknownst to him, Anakin bails on his friends every Friday to hang out at the front desk.

“You sure you don’t want to come tonight, Ani?”

“It’s his Obi-Wan night. He won’t come.”

Another part of Obi-Wan’s job is being the “Don on Duty”. This means he responds to any complaints/emergencies the residents have. He carries around a special phone for emergencies. He does this every Saturday night. Again, Anakin discovers this by accident.

A loud knock at his door interrupts Anakin’s dorm room party. He and his friends are wasted, watching movies and screaming about them.

He opens the door to reveal Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan is looking down. “I’ve received several noise complaints about this room. You guys are going to have to - Anakin?” He cuts himself off once he looks up and blue meets blue.

“Obi-Wan! Come drink with us!”

“Anakin, I can’t. I’m on duty.”

“Oh come on, pretty pretty please?”

“I-,”

“Don’t say no! Please”

“Oh fine, but if this phone goes off I have to leave. And we really must be quiet.”

Obi-Wan spends the evening getting drunk with Anakin and his friends. Thankfully the phone doesn’t go off.

They watch films together, everyone growing drowsy. Anakin curls up next to Obi-Wan and rests his head on his shoulder. When Obi-Wan wraps his arm around him and holds him close, it’s merely because he’s drunk and tired.

That night, the two finally exchange phone numbers.

Anakin starts texting Obi-Wan relentlessly. Obi-Wan would call it harassment.

Anakin: do you ever think about the overwhelming and paralyzing passage of time? How you can’t do anything to stop it? (Sent at 3:42 am)

Obi-Wan: no, but I am now. (Sent at 3:44 am)

Anakin: lolz look at this silly kitty pic. He’s u! (Sent at 3:47 am)

Obi-Wan: go to sleep!!!!! (Sent at 3:48 am)

Anakin: jeez ok Mr. Grumpy pants 😡😡 (Sent at 3:50 am, Read at 3:50 am)

Obi-Wan starts getting invited to Anakin’s friend group hang outs. He was charming enough last time. Truthfully, it’s mostly because if he’s there, it saves the others from having to hear Anakin yearn for him all night.

Alright, this is kind of just the general idea/ all I’ve got right now! Lemme know if you guys want to hear more or have any suggestions! My DM’s are always open if anyone wants to brainstorm, or just chat in general!

I’d also be down as heck to rp this if anyone was interested.

Thank you for reading if you’ve gotten this far!!

I’ll update it later when I think of more! (:

EDIT: I've created a second part to this! if you wanna read more, the link to part two can be found at the top of this post!

[little-emerald-snake]

Smutmas Day 2

"It’s my thigh or nothing, I’m not helping you get off." - Ominis Gaunt X F!MC

🔥NSFW 🔞 MDNI

706 words

Ominis had always been shy and she knew that. But what she didn’t expect was for that shyness to persist even during their bedtime activities. She’d always taken Ominis to be quiet during the day and a totally dominant king during the night.

She was determined to make him crack and take control. She knew he could and that she’d just have to strike the right cord within him to make him snap. After all, it was a fantasy of hers for him to take control of her and use her body as he saw fit.

She’d spent the entire day thinking of how to strike that nerve within him. She’d asked Sebastian, who she knew had the best experience in getting on Ominis’ last nerve.

She’d read loads of books from the restricted section. Titles that would make her sweeter-than candy-wizard blush while betwixt the sheets. Many that made even her blush all the way to the tips of her ears.

She’d even gone so far as to slip him spicy little notes in each class she saw him in. Each note getting more and more provocative with descriptions of her need for him.

She’d hoped that her set up work and what she’d learned would aid her in seducing him. But if all else failed she’d practiced and practiced till she felt comfortable on how to straight up ask him for what she desired most.

She smiled when finally some time after curfew the tell tale sounds of the clock mechanism rang out in the Undercroft. She approached him as he stepped into the low light that the hanging candelabras produced across the room.

Ominis face was unreadable, which made her a bit nervous as his hand rose to caress her cheek. “Hello, my love. I must say, your notes throughout today had my mind wandering about where it shouldn’t have been. I assume you’re in a rather needy mood, shall we say.”

She nodded against his palm as her own came to caress his hand. “Yes. You could definitely say that. Is that okay with you tonight? I must say I’ve been feeling rather…naughty…and I feel like you could tame that quite nicely?”

His brows rose with intrigue, tone turning a bit darker. “Oh? And how you’d you like me to go about satisfying these naughty cravings you’ve been having?”

She gently walked him backwards till his legs hit the couch. She pushed him down onto it, listening to the little ‘oof’ sound he made on impact. “Well…I had a whole plan but…honestly…you’ve always said a direct approach is best with you…I erm…Ominis I want you to dominate me.”

His eyes widened in surprise and she closed hers with embarrassment, letting out the breath she’d been holding. His hands closed around her thighs gently. She could almost feel the sincerity in his fingertips from how gentle he was as he gripped her.

She was mortified, not quite ready to answer the why that she knew he would be asking. She was also afraid that he wouldn’t be comfortable and that he would grow even more shy with her.

But to her surprise his grip on her thighs tightened and a gasp left her lips as he leaned in and nipped her neck. “Alright then…if you want me to dominate you, then I will. You’ll have to be a good girl for me then and earn it. You can be a good girl…can’t you?”

Her breath picked up and her eyes shot open to see him, her Ominis. His usual sweet calm murky orbs were dark and stormy but he had a grin painted across his thin lips. It made her stomach swirl with excitement. “Y-yes, Ominis. I-I’ll be good.”

He chuckled and his fingers tightened around her thighs mercilessly, eliciting another gasp from her lips. “Good. Then you better get to work getting yourself off on my thigh. Since I only want to listen tonight. You know I love to hear your pretty sounds.”

She sat frozen as her mind reeled over his words, trying to figure out what he wanted her to do. “Come on love. Are you suddenly feeling scared? It’s my thigh or nothing, I’m not helping you get off.”

[justjams2003]

Surprise

Uh, good evening... I am kinda tired of writing smut, so tired that I like, left, for a month... Anywho, here is some fluff. Also I’m writing this in such a funny order. Most of my Henry Cavill stories are like part of one universe, and like the last I wrote of them they just found out about the pregnancy. At some point I will write of the birth and what not. Also, the child’s name doesn’t have to be Sophia, If you want it to be something else just ignore the name I guess. Request are open :)

Paring: Husband!Henry Cavill x Wife!Reader.

Warnings: Fluff, use of she/her pronouns. No description of body type, race ect.

Summary: You and the interviewer make plans to surprise Henry while on his busy press tour.

640 words, unedited

Press is part of an actor, it is a part of being a celebrity. Many enjoy it, it lets them travel the world to all types of fun place. And yes, Henry does enjoy it. What he also enjoys is staying, in bed, with his beautiful wife, all while his little daughter worms her way under the sheets. She would giggle and laugh as the both of her parents would tickle her wildly.

Henry is quite active on talking about them whenever he has the possibility. “What has been the most difficult thing, for you, during all this press?” Ali, the interviewer asks, already knowing the answer but just wanting to hear him ramble. The bigger man chuckles, his cute canines glimmering.

“I feel that answer is too obvious, my family of course.” He smiles, just thinking about the two of you. Little did he know, you and Ali have been talking, making plans behind the scenes. It’s finally school vacation after all. “Yes, I heard your little girl just turned four, congratulations.” He smiles to him, peaking at his notes to every next move.

“Yes, I can’t believe it. She is such a vibrant little girl. And I’ve always wanted a family and to share that with someone as amazing as Y/N, I don’t think someone could be more spoiled than I am.” He chatters on, to be honest, if someone let him, he could talk on and on and on.

“Kal’s even been missing them too, I can tell,” he chuckles, petting the pupper’s head sitting by him. “I’m sorry, I’m rambling,” he blushes ever so slightly, realising he’s done it once more. Even his brother’s had started to tease him on his babbling.

Ali, shakes his head, “No, no, I wanted to talk about Y/N actually because when have something that might help with your longing.” The man with glasses turns over his shoulder, Henry’s eyes follow to the door which he entered from. Expecting for some silly puppet or toy that might have some resemblance of them.

But no, his heart hammers in his ears and his eyes light up when he sees you, with your daughter enter through the door. “Daddy!” Their little girl calls out, running full speed to her father, not caring for any wires or expensive cameras. “Sophia, hello my little angel,” He smiles wide, getting up from his seat to pick up his little girl.

She giggles wildly when Henry showers her with kisses. Not to mention, Kal, even if well trained, jumps up with excitement too. Smelling and licking her cute little booties. Her untamed black curls tied up in cute purple bows. Exactly like her dad’s.

And when you reach him, he can’t help but pull you closer by the waist. Wanting so to kiss you passionately, but deciding against it, for everyone else’s sake. “Hello, my dear,” he whispers in your ear. Settling for sweet kiss on the cheek. Kal already twirling circles around you.

A seat already pulled up for you, next to Henry, you both sit down. Sophia comfortably sat in her father’s lap. Her little mind occupied by the shiny ring on Henry’s finger. He’s notice it to be a habit of hers. “What are you doing here?” He asks, taking your hand in his, the one not keeping Sophia in place.

You give that bright smile of yours, the one he loves so much. The one that still causes him butterflies to this day. You smirk to Ali and give a shrug, “We planned to surprise you,” you say, tucking a stray curl behind Henry’s ear. “By God, I love you,” he mutters under his breath.

His schedule was cleared for the rest of the day and he treated you both to your favourite allergy friendly ice-cream and anything else you could possibly want.

[m1ckeyb3rry]

OK FINISHED YUKIS!! This is 5-9 also I’m realizing the overall title of the yuki section is “O Lord” and the first chapter’s title is actually “Honest” but forgot to fix that earlier in the summary oops. But enjoy!!! Gonna start working on Barou’s now

-Karasu anon

5 - The Peak of Happiness

When Kenyu entered high school, his life had been even more fulfilling than it ever was before. With his characteristic dribbling abilities and power to charge on, he became a regular even as a first year. He gained the name “The 1-on-1 Emperor” and became a the center of attention within the prefecture, a new member whom people expected much out of. Through hard work he produced results, and those results give him confidence in himself. His self confidence made him sparkle more and more. Somehow, that very aura had caught the eye of a photographer for a fashion magazine. Kenyu and his friends had traveled to Tokyo, in the process stopping by Harajuku.

“Hey you! Wanna be a model?”

“Huh?”

“What do you say you come join our agency? You’ve got this great aura.”

He has a nice appearance and has a glowing aura. Thanks to his beautician mother, his refined looks had caused him to stand out in the area. Kenyu politely refused

“Sorry, I’m just out here shopping with my friends. I don’t really have any interest in doing something like that.”

“Well, what if I just take one picture of you! Is that alright?”

Kenyu wasn’t sure what that “well” implied, but the photographer seemed really pushy.

“Sorry I can’t. Next month is the Japanese Nationals Championship. I’m afraid something like that would impede a bit.”

“Seriously!? You’re that incredible!? I’ve found a golden egg!” The photographer had let his ramblings slip, clearly getting even more hyped up. Kenyu’s friends came around to ask what was going on, wondering if their friend had just been scouted. He was originally planning on turning the photographer down, but since both his friends were so enthusiastic about it, he got caught up in the excitement. The photographer asked for his name, to which Kenyu gave him. Just like that, Kenyu was swept away into doing a photoshoot right then and there. Photographer asked what his future plans were to which he replied that he was trying to go pro and wanted to become the number one striker in the world. To Kenyu’s unwavering conviction, the photographer matched his enthusiasm. “That’s amazing! If anyone can do it, it’s you!” It wasn’t just lip service. Despite his initial impression, the photographer was also quite pure of heart. He certainly had the aura that made Kenyu think so.

A handsome soccer player egg. The pics of Kenyu were featured in a magazine geared towards the current decade’s male fashion scene. It seems it was widely well received. Next month, the editor and photographer purposely came all the way out to Miyazaki for a photoshoot. Kenyu had come to regularly appear in the magazine. The talent agency had reached out to him, leading him to ask his parents for advice. In the end, he signed with the agency. This time, he was shooting as a full body model and would be published on a full page of the magazine issue. Receiving praise for his looks and his athleticism, his previous popularity that was limited to his prefecture had expanded to the entire nation. After one look at him, girls would flock to his games from other prefectures bearing fan service handheld fans, forming their own military force to cheer him on. Receiving their support, Kenyu was honestly happy. They call him strong and amazing while he plays soccer and cool and handsome during his model activities.

Everyday was fun. And from those days, he established a core value: I’m, undoubtedly, one of the chosen ones. He’s made it this far in life, having been constantly watched over and chosen. If he lives honestly, following his heart, people will gather and connect. Thus, he will be blessed by the people. There isn’t anything he’s afraid of. He’ll live as he is, purely as himself. For now, all he needs to do is keep trying his best in soccer. Then, someday, he’ll be on the National team, win the World Cup, and become the world’s number 1 striker. Not once had he thought that this dream was overambitious. All he needs to do is believe. As long as he keeps living honestly, this dream, too, will surely come true. To be chosen, and to be watched over. God is watching over me. That’s what Kenyu believed from the bottom of his heart, without a hint of doubt. It was only after two years time that he had realized that was the happiest era of his life, in the season where the cherry blossoms scatter once again.

6- A Lifetime’s Worth of Tears

It was the spring of his third year in high school. Yukimiya Kenyu was the ace of Soranin High School, the year that would be their ticket to Nationals, Kenyu’s last year of high school. In his first and second year, he was a regular on the team. Both times they made it to Nationals, but lost after one match. But this year will be different. As ace and captain, he’ll definitely lead the team to victory. If they have the power of the 1-on-1 Emperor on their side, they can achieve it. He’s been waiting to be scouted to go pro too. If they win, they’ll definitely catch the recruiters’ eyes! To Kenyu, it was a future he didn’t have to worry about. After practice, he walked home with his teammates. Just in case it was to rain, practice was held inside the gym, though it didn’t make it any less grueling. His teammates noticed that Kenyu had paused, asking him what was wrong.

“Sorry…my eyes..it’s just…they’re kinda blurry.”

In front of him were his two friends, holding onto their umbrellas. The rain narrowed his field of view and the sky was already gloomy. But there was a darkness, different from that of the sky, that was blotting his vision. No, his field of vision was being eaten away by a black haze. His friends asked if he was okay, to which he tried to focus on their faces, but to no avail. They still remained hazy, and he couldn’t see them clearly. He thought a good night’s sleep would have it fixed by morning, but by the next day, his vision was still out of sorts. Kenyu’s vision had never been good, but it seems like lately, it’s been deteriorating a lot more. Just in case, he decided to visit an eye doctor at a large hospital. Surgery to fix vision does exist, so Kenyu wonders if that’s something he needs to consider if he wants to go pro. That’s about as far as he thought, but his diagnosis was something he never would’ve imagined.

“When you’re tired, your field of vision narrows and blind spots appear. You have optic neuropathy.”

He’s an old doctor, well known and reputable in the region, but with a kind tone of voice, he had straightforwardly informed Kenyu of his diagnosis.

“The progression of the disease cannot be stopped, accompanied by headaches and nausea, and in the worst cases…complete blindness.”

In the worst cases, complete blindness.

“But with proper treatment, we can slow its progression. For the most part, you don’t need to worry about going completely blind. You can continue living your everyday life and your model activities without any issues.”

The examination room was quiet. Even with the doctor’s kind tone and the slow speed he spoke, Kenyu was unable to process the information immediately. Blindness. Model. Everyday life. Kenyu had felt feelings he had never felt before. As if his legs had been crushed, it was a chilling feeling that sent shivers down his spine. For the first time in his life, he felt fear.

Pushing away his fears, he asked the doctor, “Um…what about soccer…..?”

The doctor remained silent for a moment, then proceeded to answer carefully, not letting is kind tone waver.

“You’ll be able to play it as a hobby…but if you continue playing as you have now while the disease progresses….honestly I think it may be a bit difficult…”

Kenyu’s legs shook and his hands turned cold.

“Unfortunately, I can’t say that the path to becoming pro would be extremely hard..”

The doctor’s kind voice. The cruel verdict.

Why…why me…

The shaking in his body had spread as his body ran cold.

“Doctor…I haven’t…done anything bad before..”, Kenyu had squeezed out in a wavering voice. He’d never done anything to make God hate him. All he did was try his best in soccer. He hadn’t done anything unfair or unjust. He just immersed himself in soccer, honestly and purely.

Why is it being taken…away from me…

Like a whining child, his voice was shaken with tears.

“I wanted to become number 1 in soccer…it’s not right…this situation….I don’t accept it…”

Holding his shaking body, he lets his tears fall. Once after the other, they poured like down his face as he collapsed onto the bed.

“Give me…back my dream…” I don’t care about anything else. He couldn’t bring himself to say those last words. The real Kenyu is shy and stoic. He’s a small boy who doesn’t talk to friends and sits quietly at his seat. He took up everything he had to lead that Kenyu to where he is now. He couldn’t believe that God would do something so cruel. The joy when he bought his first soccer ball. The day he played soccer with Cannavaro. The times he’d laugh with his teammates at soccer school. And up until just yesterday, when he had been trying with all his might to win the National Championship. To get on the Japanese National team, win the World Cup, and become the world’s number one striker, the version of himself he believed in just up until this very moment. It felt like everything was a distant lie. In despair, he doesn’t want to lose anything. His tears continue to fall with no end.

“Why…why..no…I still…”

Crying a lifetime’s worth of tears, he couldn’t stop sobbing.

“I know..Yukimiya.”

The doctor gets on his knees and places his hands on Kenyu’s shoulders.

“We’ll do everything we can. I’ll support your journey in becoming pro all I can. But your condition will progress. The time in which you’ll be able to showcase your skills is limited. Even with all that, do you still want to follow your dream..?”

Finally, Kenyu raised his head. He shouldn’t give up on his dream. It’s still possible.

“….Yes.” His tears had dried as he grabbed onto the small glimmer of hope.

God had once again….looked after me…

7-In my heart

From then on, Kenyu devoted himself to soccer more than he ever had before, because someday, he wouldn’t be able to play anymore. So in the limited time he had before his eyes fully deteriorated, he wanted to go all in. He couldn’t waste his time scrolling away on his phone or hanging out with friends. When he had free time, he spent it all running around or studying soccer tactics. I’ve gotta be more efficient, gotta perfect it, gotta do more….

It was very in character for one-track minded Kenyu. His stoicism, honesty, and determination all came together to realize the ultimate short-period training boot camp regimen. I don’t have time. To me…time….

“Hey, hasn’t Yukki been kinda scary lately?”, a teammate had commented while Kenyu wasn’t in the room. He had quickly gone home right after practice had ended. “I know what you mean. If you make even a small mistake, he gets pissed. It is our fault for causing slip ups though..”, a teammate, who got yelled at by Kenyu today to stay focused, shrugged in response.

“No that’s not what I meant….er how should I put this…he gets so angry it’s like he’s about to cry.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

A bystander who had heard their conversation interjected, expressing his agreement in Kenyu’s recent behavior.

“It seems like Yukki’s really in a rush, almost like he’s being chased by something”, the newcomer had said. He had been always honest and stoic, but now it seems he’s not as much so. In the past, he would walk home with his friends, chatting about pointless things. He’d even wave at his fangirls waiting at the school gates. Now, he didn’t talk to anyone unless needed, and he blatantly ignored his fans. He had no leeway in his life, and it was like he couldn’t see anything but soccer.

“What could he be running from? He’s been blessed with everything.”

Kenyu hadn’t talked to anyone but his parents about his eye condition, so no one knew about it. Talent, appearance, popularity, physicality. He had it all, so his teammates were couldn’t understand what was going on.

If I don’t hurry and show results….I’ve gotta find the fastest route to joining the National team..!…damn it…!….damn it….!!

When Kenyu got home, he reflected on today’s practice in the shower. His ideal play that would lead the team to championship victory, he couldn’t afford to have his teammates’ mistakes. Filled with frustration and haste, his body grew hot, but he knew this anger shouldn’t be poured all out onto his teammates.

Calm down…this..isn’t like me.

He reflected on the missed moves and took a deep breath.

I don’t know how many years I have left, but if I just live honestly, God will certainly watch over me. That’s why definitely…..” Definitely? Suddenly, Kenyu was scared. His dream of the World Cup felt too far. If someday his disease takes a turn for the worst, he might not be able to play soccer anymore. Hadn’t it seemed like God had casted his dream, his dream of achieving everything he could ever wish for, right into the pits of hell. But Kenyu had been discovered, chosen, and watched after. So surely, that couldn’t be the case. After he fulfills his dream, he would even be okay with quitting soccer. He lives now for the sake of that one moment of joy. But try as hard as he might, he wondered why he felt like he was falling deeper into a hopeless abyss. He wasn’t sure if he’d be able to go pro with his own strength. And even if he manages to go pro, if he doesn’t play in the World Cup, then it’ll all be over. Maybe his hard work is all in vain. Maybe he should just quit while he’s ahead. If he gives up on soccer now, he could become a full time model. The staff at the agency had already tried to persuade him several times. He isn’t bound by just one path to the future. No….but….that’s not what he really wants to do. He wants to play soccer. He wants to be the world’s number one soccer player. Kenyu shook his head. Don’t hesitate. After all, he hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s put his all into doing my best. It’d be strange if there were no payout. He’ll fulfill his dream, surely, if he doesn’t give up now….but that was just a convenient delusion, some dreams do get destroyed. There aren’t any guarantees. He calmly told himself that, let the thoughts run around his head, and once again became rather scared. As if he’d been sprinting with all his might, alone, along the edge of a cliff, he was terrified. He was shaken, and tears welled up in his eyes. He couldn’t sleep. He was haunted by a horror-filled night. As if he were just clinging on, he watched heart-warming movies and listened to happy music to try and soothe himself. Even if the future stole soccer from him, “Soccer isn’t all there is to life”, is what he thought to himself. He reaffirmed is weak, insecure self with that reasoning, by hearing that that was okay, and then proceeded to look for uplifting music. The movies and music worked like a tranquilizer, calming him down, helping Kenyu somehow make it through day by day.

8- Story:

The preliminaries that would determine the prefecture’s representatives thus began.

“As expected of the 1-on-1 emperor!” “Yukki! Yukki! Yukki!” The fans, who knew nothing about his eye condition, yelled out their supporting chants as their team won their first match without a hitch. Before, Kenyu would smile back at the supporters, but now he didn’t have the time to spare to do so. If they lose, it’s all over. As that sentiment lingered in his mind, he was unable to sleep. The road from qualifiers to the national championship was a long one. His heart raced at the thought. But lack of sleep would accelerate his disease, so he wanted to get a full 8 hours of sleep. As his anxiety continued, he was still unable to fall asleep. The days where he was unable to fall asleep, awake until the sun rose, continued. One day, he thought to look for some white noise. He blearily picked up his phone and began to search and found the perfect playlist. Whispering vocals played along with a heartwarming melody. He had never heard this song before. Closing his eyes and listening to the music, he finally fell into slumber. He woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. From the song his listened to last night, one phrase remained in his mind. “God doesn’t give us trials we can’t overcome.” He didn’t know whose song this was. He doesn’t know if he really heard it or if he was dreaming, but that phrased became his crutch. Trials that we can overcome…he repeated those words over and over in his mind. To himself, that was crying, terrified at the thought of his eye disease. To himself, who hadn’t given up on soccer. The versions of himself that had seemed so scattered had come together and become one. “As I thought, God has been watching over me. God will never give me trials that I can’t overcome..” Both his weak self and his hardworking self had been acknowledged. It’ll be okay, he’ll overcome his trials. Kenyu had gained his confidence, stronger than ever before.

“How is it, Doctor…?” It was the day of his scheduled visit to the eye doctor. He was getting new glasses made and needed to get his prescription checked.

“They look good on you.

These are a pair of new glasses to commemorate how smoothly your treatment is going. It’s a good thing, maintaining it your condition. It’s by no means cured, but it hasn’t gotten worse…I think it’s safe to say you can continue carrying on comfortably and easily”, the doctor replied with a thumbs up. Kenyu was relieved. Everytime, he had been on the verge of tears, so scared to find out the results of his medical exam. This time, it was different though.

“Doctor…I’ve finally come to terms with my condition.”

“Is that so? That’s good.”

His heart had calmed. The doctor spoke in his kind tone, just as he always had.

“‘God never gives us trials we can’t overcome.’ That’s what I said, right? I was given this trial, and that’s why it must be destiny that I’ll overcome it.” As long as he doesn’t give up, he’ll surely fulfill his dreams. That’s what he believes. That’s his story.

From then one, he team steadily advanced. With his deadly plays, Kenyu lead the team through consecutive overwhelming victories. He completely overwhelmed other schools’ teams, ultimately qualifying for nationals.

Yes! First step complete. Perhaps because he had overcome his doubts, he was able to properly express his gratitude to the enthusiastic fans with a bow. He was able to share his joy with his cheering teammates.

But the real battle begins now. Winning Nationals, getting scouted, getting on the National team, winning the World Cup. If he takes them on step by step, he’ll definitely get closer to his dream. Though his time is limited, he can still see it. He can still fight! He can still…!

The next day, a letter from the JFU had arrived at Kenyu’s house. “You’ve been specially selected by the Japanese Football Union” it read. Yes, he got it….! His thoughts had become his conviction, and a refreshing smile appeared on Kenyu’s face. As long as he keeps pushing forward honestly, God with surely watch over him. Surely.

….God….no, Ego Jinpachi had been watching over him. To Kenyu, he couldn’t tell if this man was a god or a devil. The answer lies in Blue Lock. We’re still in the middle of Kenyu’s story. Just go, honestly, straightforwardly, with all your might. Believe in your dream of becoming the world’s best striker. Yukimiya Kenyu, with his unbreakable hope in his heart, smiling without a doubt, continued onwards towards the prison. What he didn’t know, was that within the confines of Blue Lock awaited an egoist (Isagi Yoichi) that he had never met before.

kenyu yukimiya ily 🥹 GET MY MAN OFF THE BENCH 🗣️ because i already loved him sm but reading these is making me just want to give him a hug 😭😭😭 my baby

[puckpocketed]

Tagged a millennia ago by @dijkstraspath and @cataroo sorry this was obliterated from my mind at the time </3

✨ noº1 team?

No number 1 team. I am a fickle creature whose heart is easily swayed by narratives!! My beloved teams, plural, are the Sharks, Kraken, Ducks, Wild, and recently the VGK! We have a soft spot a mile wide for losers and girlfailures. I am easily bamboozled by Antics and Shenanigans. Assume no teams are safe from my love. I always say: I have NO enemies in ice hockey except the refs/situation room <3

🥅 your favourite goalie?

My whole heart belongs to the oppressed goalie tandems on basement tier teams (Gibson/Dostal, Kahkonen/Blackwood, Soderblom/Mrazek)

Fav goalie to watch, who will always have a place in my heart? Joey Daccord! He has anime-protagonist levels of skill and he is a joy to watch in net. Truly creative, proactive, and unique. I see him going very far.

🔟 what would be your jersey number?

17! For the first two serial numbers of the Enterprise NCC-1701

🏒 what team would you love to play for?

PWHL New York, because women+teal <3

❤️‍🔥 who is your favourite player currently?

Thinking endlessly about Brock Faber. Girlies (gn) know I’ve been writing an essay about him for like a month, which has blossomed into something well beyond the scope of what I originally wanted to write.

👀 a trade that hurt you emotionally?

I haven’t been around ice hockey long enough for a trade to hurt me yet, but I’m not unfamiliar with trade heartbreak!

I have been in esports for years, and the first trade that fucked me up was support player ArK getting traded from the New York Excelsior to the Washington Justice. It was 5 years ago, the meta had shifted away from ArK’s best heroes, and the bombshell dropped on twitter. I was devastated. The NYXL core had been together through so much, I thought. They existed pre-Overwatch League, as LW Blue and LW Red. They were a family.

They reunited, briefly, during OWL All-Stars, and every moment of it hurt. ArK retired in 2020 after leading the Washington Justice to the North American Division Playoffs, where they came 3rd.

Many such trades and team implosions happened after ArK, but you never forget your first! 

🌈 what is your experience on hockeyblr so far?

Pretty amazing! I wrote a whole love letter to the kraken, sharks tag has some very funny characters who are very unserious about everything but very lovingly devoted to our losers, I’m too shy to talk in the wild tag too often but I hope this changes, the ducks tag is a wasteland populated by me and maybe 2 other people and we never seem to be blogging at the same time, and the one (1) person currently active in the vegas tag is quite possibly the sweetest person alive (!!!) they’ve been so excited to tell me about them, to welcome me and share their love!!!

The PWHL holds a very very dear place in my heart, I feel very tender and protective about it so I’m pretty quiet — but when I do venture into the tag it’s been a fun time!!!

I am putting out tentative feelers for the AIHL and the handful of people who’ve chimed in to show their support has been incredibly heartening and I look forward to writing propaganda for them when the time comes!!! <3

tag people you'd like to know these about ☺️🏒🖤

its. way way way way too late to be doing this but i guess im reviving the meme! absolutely feel no pressure to participate: @wehaveagathering @puckinggoalies @skybluerin @ppepohappy @belowthedepths if you'd like to participate consider yourself tagged by me!

[lithopsy]

Controlling the Narrative: Analysis of Taylor Swift's "...Ready For It?"

I wrote a short personal essay about my time in the closet, the inherent queerness of Taylor Swift's Reputation, why I will defend the album to my last breath, and why I think that track one could be about bearding. (2,186 words)

Personal note: Throughout this essay and analysis, I use the word “queer” to describe members of the LGBT+ community for ease of language. While I, personally, am not entirely comfortable with the reclamation of this slur in all contexts, especially by people who are not members of the LGBT+ community, I have found no better alternative for this purpose. This serves as a disclaimer and a warning for those who are also uncomfortable with its use.

When Taylor Swift dropped her sixth studio album Reputation in 2017, I was a nineteen year old Baptist seminary student coming to terms with my identity as a lesbian. I made a lot of strong choices that year; I went no-contact with my childhood best friend, I secretly dated a woman who was five years older than me and lived in a different state, and I ultimately dropped out of seminary college over a winter break. I felt like an outcast and I had trouble relating to straight Christian girls while I was actively losing my religion.

After Taylor dropped Reputation, I felt less alone. All of the gossip and personal drama that surrounded this tumultuous time in my life started to feel much less like a personal failing and a lot more like a Reputation Era.

I leaned into it. I blasted I Did Something Bad in my car after arguing with a conservative professor, posted lyrics from Look What You Made Me Do to my Snapchat story where I knew my ex-friends would see it, and — though I wasn’t able to swing body guards carrying me out of my apartment in a suitcase — I became elusive on campus. Hiding in my dorm room, leaving home, and losing friends all while listening to Reputation, I was able to come to terms with the idea that being my most authentic self might cause some people to dislike me.

Because of this, Reputation has always been a queer album to me. It’s always been about building a life that you’re proud of despite hatred and judgement from people on the outside. It’s always been about telling lies and crafting narrative for the sake of one’s personal safety. It’s always been about secret, and often forbidden, love. Whether or not Taylor herself is queer (and I personally believe that she could be), she understands the experience of hiding her ‘true’ self and she understands the danger of being authentic in the wrong place at the wrong time.

I’m turning twenty-four this week and I am out to my friends and family. I am happy and surrounded by a bright community of people who I don’t have to lie to. Being that I am no longer Baptist and quite comfortable in my lesbian identity, one of the few things that connects twenty-four-year-old me to nineteen-year-old me (and thirteen-year-old me and sixteen-year-old me, etc. I am a life-long swiftie) is my love for Taylor Swift's music.

Out of excitement for Taylor’s tenth(!!) studio album Midnights, I’ve been listening to her music pretty constantly over the past month. And, due to a rise in #gaylor-ism online, I have been revisiting her old lyrics with a fine-toothed comb and a queer perspective.

To be fair, I did a bit of this when Reputation came out. Posting something to the effect of “dress is the gayest song on rep” to my close friends Snapchat story during release week. But my current life experience and knowledge of LGBT history and culture deepens my readings much further now.

To start, many of her love songs — even songs from her country eras, though these are sometimes overlooked by queer fans who prefer her pop — are gender-neutral. She uses the pronoun “you”, speaking directly to her love interest, more than any other pronoun. While this stands as evidence of queerness alone to some gaylors, it is, at the very least, a happy coincidence for swifties who don’t date men.

What I’ve become most obsessed with, though, lately, are the songs in which she switches between “you” and “he” or “him” throughout. I wondered if, as an experiment in lyrical-analysis, I could extrapolate some deeper meaning by imagining that these two sets of pronouns delineate between two muses. Track one on my beloved Reputation, “…Ready For It?” is a perfect specimen for this and is the subject of my experiment for the end of this essay.

Before I begin the analysis, a disclaimer. LGBT people who read their own experiences into Taylor’s work get a lot of guff online for doing so. Often, gaylors are criticized for “outing her” or “speculating about her sexuality” or “assigning labels to her”. So, before anyone gets mad, I am not doing that. At the end of the day, I don’t think Taylor Swift’s real life sexuality has anything to do with the experiment I’m about to do. You don’t have to know who any of her songs are about to relate to them. It is also my personal belief that alternate readings of texts are valuable, even if there is no objective truth to them.

For my purposes, though, I’m not going to name names or speculate about who I think these disparate muses are, and I am not going to tie anything to specific events in Taylor’s life. I don’t know her like that and I think it only complicates analysis here.

(However, in this vein, Taylor Swift is a multi-million dollar brand and I am not not doing these things out of some desire to protect her honor or maintain any parasocial relationship with her. Most of the time, speculation about her on the internet is harmless and serves as free publicity to her. People who shame gaylors for “speculating about her sexuality” are usually doing so because of an internal homophobic rejection to the idea of her being queer. I’m neutral to a little harmless speculation, when it comes to Taylor Swift.)

-

[Verse 1]

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted But if he’s a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin’ him for ransom Some, some boys are tryin’ too hard He don’t try at all, though Younger than my exes but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta

What’s interesting to me about this description of The Man (capitalized because I’m using The Man in place of a name, not to be confused with “The Man”, track 4 on Taylor’s album “Lover”) in this song is that it has nothing to with him on a personal level or how he treats her as a partner. It lacks the intimate descriptions of the relationship or individual’s characteristics that are present in most of her earlier love songs. She’s singing in a fast-paced lower register (we’ll come back to this) about how this man appears to other people. He’s a heartbreaker, he’s effortlessly cool, he’s independent and ideal.

Showing my hand, I want to analyze this song as if the relationship with The Man is a fake, public relationship formulated in order to hide some part(s) of Taylor’s true self and the relationship with The Listener (“you”) is a real, yet secret relationship. I think that this is, at least in some form, an intentional choice made in the song. Whether the listener and the man are the same person is up to interpretation, though. While I personally am going to be making the argument for the song being about bearding, I think it’s possible that the same separation could exist within a relationship between Taylor and one man with whom she has a clearly delineated private and public relationship with. (I’m not going to pander to this point because it’s probably been done, but I think that this is a valid reading.)

[Pre-chorus]

I-I-I see how this is gonna go Touch me and you’ll never be alone I-Island breeze and lights down low No one has to know

I think the pre-chorus reads as a general statement and could be said to both The Man and The Listener interchangeably.

The line, “Touch me and you’ll never be alone” could speak either to her own loyalty in a private relationship or a material benefit of being publicly affiliated with a woman as powerful as her. 

“No one has to know” speaks to the private nature of either relationship, that there is some planned duality or arrangement with The Man or a secret relationship with the listener.

[Chorus]

In the middle of the night, in my dreams You should see the things we do, baby In the middle of the night, in my dreams I know I’m gonna be with you So I’ll take my time Are you ready for it?

The chorus is the first full pronoun switch, Taylor begins speaking directly to The Listener while singing at a higher register than the rest of the song. The delineation between each set of pronouns is accented by the production as well as the architecture of the song itself. The chorus is the most important part of any pop song, it’s also where she’s carefully placed her secret love.

The lines, “In the middle of the night, in my dreams/You should see the things we do, baby” speak to a private relationship that, for whatever reason, isn’t possible within her current circumstances.

In footage of the songwriting process, Taylor sings the original lyric, “In the middle of the night, in my dreams/That’s when I get to be with you, it’s so sweet”, which isn’t entirely relevant to analysis about the finished song but, I think, lends credence to the idea that this muse is an unattainable other relationship, different from the one referenced in the verses.

“I know I’m gonna be with you/So I’ll take my time” reads, to me, like Taylor is reminiscing on a past relationship with The Listener that was tumultuous and full of uncertainty. When she fantasizes about being with this person, she fantasizes about stability and asks them at the end, “Are you ready for it?”

Are you ready to commit to this, should I change my plans?

[Verse 2]

Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me Stealing hearts and running off and never saying sorry But if I’m a thief, then he can join the heist And we’ll move to an island, and And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor Every lover known in comparison is a failure I forget their names now, I’m so very tame now Never be the same now, now

This verse, in comparison with verse 1 places Taylor and The Man on equal footing, positions them both as killers and thieves, pulling something over on everyone else. I personally think that this is euphemistic language to describe that there is something fundamental about Taylor that she shares with The Man, she recognizes him as like her and he recognizes the same in her. Possibly, they are both gay, possibly they have some similar experience in the industry or shared feelings about fame.

With all of Taylor’s references in this era to her fame and success being a gilded cage, “And he can be my jailer” raises red flags to me. The Man being someone who keeps her inside the cage aligns very well with the narrative of a fake public relationship that hides her sexuality and keeps the status quo.

“Burton to this Taylor” references the volatile public relationship between Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, who met on set of the film Cleopatra in 1963. The couple was married and divorced in 1964 before getting back together for just ten months in 1975. The relationship was a messy public spectacle and the reference in this song alludes to all of it: the acting, infidelity, and public drama included. The imagery is incongruent with the tender love song to The Listener of the chorus, but, in my opinion, this line is the most damning evidence of the idea of bearding in this song. Paired with the “jailer” comment, it fits perfectly the narrative of the spectacular public relationship between two actors. The relationship isn’t successful or ideal, it’s a distraction.

I think “I forget their names now, I’m so very tame now” references another frequent theme in Taylor’s work: a rejection of her ‘crazy’, ‘promiscuous’ image. She’s forgotten the names of all of her exes and we should, too. And while the Reputation era is anything but “tame”, she’s going to change the narrative that surrounds her dating life.

[Refrain]

Baby, let the games begin Let the games begin Let the games begin (now) Baby, let the games begin Let the games begin Let the games begin … Are you ready for it?

It’s the opening song of an album that is about her Reputation in the media. She is playing with the media, controlling her own narrative. “Let the games begin” walked so that “Every bait and switch was a work of art” (willow, evermore) could run.

[station-aspenville]

Chapter 2.

- Good evening, Aspenville! - said the enthusiastic voice. I was glad to see Alistair not giving up on his plans.

- Today is a beautiful day. - he continued - The sun has been shining bright since the morning which was quite a pleasant surprise considering how foggy this town tends to be. What I find most beautiful however, is the progress I made in my research, and you’re going to hear all about it!

He seemed… happy? The joy I sensed in his voice was quite a radical contrast to the rather anxious and depressive tone of yesterday's program. I can’t say I wasn’t glad to see him finding a purpose during such grim and unnerving times, yet I couldn’t help but worry that he might not have fully grasped the gravity of the current situation.

- So far I decided to focus on writing down all the information I’ve already gathered, in The Book of Truth. - Alistair went on with the same enthusiasm as before - The late attacks are caused primarily by creatures, my brother referred to as “monsters”, I however prefer the term “Strangers”, since that is very much what they are to us, with how limited our knowledge of them is.

The amount of excitement he expressed as he talked about his research reassured me that it’s barely more than childish, but I knew that actively trying to put him down would have no use, so I decided to go along with it and try to enjoy the show.

- They are approximately seven to eight feet tall and made of some strange matter. We don't know what it is yet or whether it even originates from this planet. I’m well aware of how outlandish claiming that their origin might be alien sounds, but you have to agree that this entire situation is in fact outlandish; I deeply believe that in cases like this one we can’t rely just on what we already know as facts.

I’ve said this before, but Alistair’s eloquence was no less than impressive. A combination of prewritten script and natural charisma, I would suppose. Still very pleasant to listen to, even if at times he gave off the impression of a kid using words he doesn’t really know the meaning of yet, to sound more mature.

- Relying purely on the knowledge you had before and closing yourself for new ideas and possibilities is what I would consider to be the opposite of science; and one day I’d like to call myself a scientist.

He sounded so confident. I’d love to one day see Alistair interviewed in some kind of science program; once all of it is over, perhaps. What a hopeful thought.

- Back to the topic - he continued - what we do know about Strangers is that they're perfectly capable of causing harm to other living beings. In fact, their attitude towards humans seems extremely negative and aggressive, which manifests in the violent behavior they exhibit. I dedicated quite a lot of time to observing their behavior patterns which lead me to question whether they’re even fully continuous or capable of complex thinking; or any form of thinking for that matter. I’m wondering, perhaps to them the violence they exhibit is more of a defense mechanism than anything else; perhaps they fear us.

Alistair was kind;  too kind as some may say. This poor boy tried to empathize with the very beings that killed his parents and have been tormenting his precious little town for past weeks. What a foolish child he is.

- Each of them has at least one pair of large holes, illuminating a white glow, placed on their skull, which function as their eyes. I considered the possibility that all Strangers might be completely blind, and as much as I still think this may be the case for most of them, from my observations it seems clear that some of them are extremely sensitive to light. This trait can be easily weaponised against them, although I wouldn’t recommend it as a reliable self-defense tactic, since you could never know whether it would actually be effective. However if you want to figure out how likely the individual you’re dealing with is to possess said sensitivity, I’ve noticed that it’s more common in Strangers with more than one set of eyes. Speaking of which, there are some rare cases of Strangers having not only multiple sets of eyes, but also an additional pair of arms. Those individuals seem to be particularly threatening, since Strangers mostly rely on their extremely long and sharp fingernails as a weapon. I would advise you to by any means never come in contact with those individuals, or any kind of Strangers for that matter. In case you need to leave your current location, which is not recommended, but necessary in some cases, I would advise you to carry a flashlight with you. It may not be the most reliable form of self-defense, however it is the only one we know of so far. In situations like that, being aware of the weaknesses of the beings you’re dealing with, as well as knowing how to weaponize them is crucial. I would also advise you to  n e v e r - Alistair empathized - leave the location you’re hiding in, if that’s a possibility for you.

Alistair seemed to be struggling not to show excitement while talking about all of this. He clearly had a lot of interest in the current situation and the mysterious nature of it, but the way he approached it seemed rather inappropriate. No matter how serious he tried to sound, he couldn’t change the fact that deep inside he views it as no more than a game. This kind of approach should be considered alarming. Dangerous even.

- Since we already talked about their weaknesses and how you can protect yourself from them, I think it would be good to mention how we became aware of their presence. As I said before, at the moment we know nothing about their actual origins, only the things we’ve seen with our own eyes. The first appearance of a Stranger has been reported on October 11th 1960, in the field of sunflowers, here in Aspenville. Barely a couple of weeks ago, in the very same field you can view from the roof of this radio station. - Alistair paused, likely trying to figure out what to say next - They seem to be drawn to sunflowers, we can only speculate why. 

Alistair made another short pause and then added with a slightly more disappointed tone.

- Although, I really wish that turns out not to be the case after all. - the shift in his tone kept becoming more and more noticeable - We have a few sunflowers growing here, in the garden outside of the radio station. They’ve been here since forever, or at least as far as I can recall. Seeing them, every time I came here to visit my mom after school, always filled me with the strange comforting warm feeling, I cannot properly describe. Perhaps that’s why sunflowers are my favorite flowers - he giggled - or perhaps it’s the meaning they carry. Sunflowers always turn their faces towards the sun, and that’s very much how I aspire to be. I wish to always see the brighter side of life, to never lose my hope and share this positivity with others; I wish to always face the sun. It would be a shame if I had to get rid of them…

Alistair didn’t want to be forced to pull his childhood memories from the ground by their roots. Neither did he want to later be forced to dispose of them, knowing very well that looking back at them might end up as a lethal danger. How sweet of him.

- To be honest - the boy went on - the date we claimed as the beginning of this mess is one pretty particular to me as well…

Alistair’s enthusiasm was gone. The monotonous melancholic voice which replaced it gave me shivers.

- October 11th 1960 is the day known as the first noted appearance of a Stranger in the town of Aspenville. However, it is also the day I turned 17. I can’t say I’ve ever been the type of person to attribute much of a value to this date. In fact, I’d rather forget there’s anything special about it. Now I cannot do that. I also can’t say that this major tragic event changed my feelings towards this day in any way. If anything, all it did was reinforce my belief that October 11th is a cursed date. 

Alistair went silent again. This time for a little longer. It was clear the topic of his birthday is something he wasn’t comfortable discussing. One could only speculate why that is, and I chose not to. It was nobody’s choice but Alistair’s how much of this story he’s willing to share. I was in no place to care for it in any way after all.

- I feel like I’m rambling again. Sorry for what I just said. I made all of this sound way too dramatic anyway. - he broke the silence with a forcibly less monotone, yet still clearly upset voice - Instead of boring you with this sort of useless information, I should probably just end the broadcast here. I’ll try my best to contact the experts, in hope of getting some new information on Strangers, tomorrow. Until then, sleep well, Aspenville. 

With those words the radio went quiet again.

[illusionsofdreaming]

hey, it's owhda. how have you been? it's a little bit sad to see no updates on tumblr from you(I mean any, even just a talk) but that just mean there's something else going on in your life and I sincerely hope it's something good. I didn't really know you much but I really thought that you could be a good friend to have. So.. could we get a glimpse into your life? How's your work? What are you interested in right now?

Hello, hello! It's so nice to see some familiar faces still hanging around this dusty blog! I've missed interacting with you both and Tumblr in general, it's very humbling to know people are reminded of me from time to time. I guess now is as good a time as any to post a little update on what's been going on in my life, how that's affected my writing and what I've got planned for the blog in the coming future. For those who wish to skip the chatter, tldr; I'm hanging on, this will blog will remain online and I do have plans to continue writing.

Let’s see… where do I even begin? Shortly after May, I’ve received an exciting notice - I was promoted! It’s a goal I’ve been working on for some time so it was quite satisfying to hear the news. Since then it’s been a whirlwind of activities - trying to juggle my new responsibilities and manage my own team took some time getting used to. I’ve worked solo for so long it was difficult to be the ‘leader’. In fact - I still am uncomfortable being one, but I’m starting to get the grasp of it.

I’ve been traveling for work as well and in these few months have been to Japan and UK. Both trips where I fell severely ill because my weak body can’t cross countries without making complaints and making me feel my age. Oh. And I finally got Covid in November which really laid me low for at least 2 weeks. 

I realise my health’s been taking a hit lately. Perhaps its the stress of having more work on my plate and being in a new position but I’ve been getting sick more easily. I’m currently recovering from a throat infection that I got from my UK trip as I write this - so fun times.

So yeah.. it’s been a lot of paperwork, electronic work, a lot of self reflection and remoulding of myself to my real life that really put writing on the back burner. I always wrote at night after work but nowadays I don’t even have the energy for that. If I’m not dead asleep by the time I’m done with work then some infection, flu or cold will get me. 

…and the longer I don’t touch my writing the less I wish to open my WIPs because I have a silly, irrational fear that I no longer write the same way I use to - either I’ve deteriorated or my style’s changed. It’s silly. 

Good news is that, I think I’ve finally found my pace, my new position is no longer ‘new’ but the norm and I’m slowly finding ways to carve out my own personal time in my new schedule. Which is why I’ve decided to tackle this issue today. To be honest, it’s been a while since I wrote anything fictional, but I’m planning on slowly working through the writing blocks that have built up due to my neglect. I’ve bought 2 new books during my trip in UK so that’s a step in the right direction right?

As some of my older followers would know and recognise by now, I do tend to go through highs and lows when it comes to activity on this blog. It often reflects what’s going on in my personal life haha. But lately, the creative bug that has been out of energy seemed to have been slightly rejuvenated - my habits of hyperfixating on creative mediums is rearing its head again so I know it’ll only be a matter of time before I’m itching to write again. 

About what..? TCF is still on my mind but not as much as before since it’s been some time since I last read its chapters. Lately I’ve been reading Absolute Sword Sense and am keeping up with its chapters so far. I’ve yet to get the newest Fire Emblem game and have been doing great avoiding any and all spoilers so far - but I’m pretty sure it’ll be going on my list of series I’ll write for in the future.

My health issues are to be tackled another day because I’m frankly, quite tired of taking meds. 

As for where I wish to take the blog… hmm.. that’s really a tough decision because I’ve never really had a clear goal in mind when it comes to this blog. It was just a great space to share my thoughts on fandoms and interact with likeminded people. I don’t think I’ll be opening requests for a while since I’ve got a huge backlog of WIPs to work on. I suppose I could attempt to keep the blog less.. dead? Not sure how I’ll go about it though.

Anyways.. that’s about it. Terribly sorry for the word vomit, I hope everyone's been doing well and enjoying your life! If it seems I'm a bit dead without updates, it's usually because there aren't any chatter related inboxes haha. So is this illu's call for random stories to be dropped in their mail? Yes.

[mcgnussen]

hi to all my followers (all 142 of you now which is wild!) and k-mag tag lurkers 👋

so we have reached the end of the 2022 season, it has been a true rollercoaster for us k-mag fans! from the lows of meatball flags to the highs of pole positions (!!!) and battling with mercedes at the beginning of the season. during december, i will make a post to recap kev’s whole season as best i can remember. if you want to contribute to this, you can send me asks or submit posts about what you remember from kevin during particular races, the good and the bad. and if you do send me a few asks then please be sure to give me a name or send non-anon asks from your blog, so i can thank you for your contribution and credit you properly! of course, you can still send me anons if you prefer.

i will remain active on this blog and give you all the kevin updates i can get my hands on - particularly when it comes to gulf 12 hours! i am very excited to see kevin and jan racing together again. but after that, the blog might get a bit slow. the problem is that when kevin is not racing then his social media presence basically dies, so sadly we probably will not be hearing a lot from him until the start of the 2023 season. i will randomly reblog some things from this season tho, so kev will hopefully stay on your dash.

however, i have decided to do two new things during the off season. kevin has done two 1-hour interviews during this season, and will soon do a third, so i will be signing up for danish viaplay to watch those and make posts about the best bits from each interview. they are all in danish, so sadly i cannot just record them and share them with you all. besides that, i will also be watching a few of his old races, the best ones, and do a recap of them because i will miss f1 and watching old races back makes me happy. i might also do an in-depth analysis of his pole position from brasil. the bits from the long interviews and the race recaps will be tagged with #themagnussencorner. and if you end up missing kev content, i recommend you go through that tag and read some of my old posts! 

thank you all for all the reblogs, questions, comments and general support you have all given me this season. it has been absolutely amazing. i genuinely just made this blog so i could post random kev things, and i thought maybe i’d find a couple of other kevin fans, but i’ve found so many more than i thought possible! back in the day, it could sometimes feel quite lonely to be a k-mag stan, so i’m pleased to find so many of you. i think we have a nice lil community on here and it’s a pleasure to share the space with you all, new and old kev fans alike ❤️

[mephinomaly]

[TL] Wonderful/Chapter 3

Location: Garden

Hinata: The sun is so nice and warm~! I wanna bask in its rays, but I’ve got so many things I need to do.

Shinobu: It’s because a lot of things have suddenly taken shape all at once~

The stage set was flashy, and the opening ceremony performance had exceptionally good vibes.

Mika: Us five’ll also be takin’ part in Hibiki-senpai’s magic flower show.

I think what I learnt during the lessons can be put to my best ability at the show ♪

Hiiro: Another thing. The introduction of Easter related cooking, going to activities, standing on each stage…

I’m happy that I was allowed to take part in so many things during the Fes!

Wataru: Fufufu, I’m extremely busy thanks to everyone’s reprimanding. Please, continue to work your hardest and remain lively until the end.

—That being said, today allow me to give you all something too ☆

Shinobu: Uwaah, it’s time for Hibiki-dono’s chocolate!

If you think about, it has become the norm for us to eat chocolate from Hibiki-dono everyday~

Mika: Seems like chocolate has a lot of different benefits. Even if there’s actually no actual connection, I still feel like eating it will make me work super hard today too.

Hinata: I’ve been trying to finish my collection of colourful foil~♪ So, could I have the red one today?

Wataru: Most certainly. Look to the palm of my hand–

Hiiro: Huh? But there’s nothing in it, Wataru-senpai.

Wataru: Oopsies…? So it seems that today’s chocolate has escaped my grasp.

It seems that the spring weather is tempting you all to a game of hide-and-seek. What mischievous chocolates, hm~?

I believe that they’re hidden in the garden, so why don’t you all split up and look for them?

Mika: So this is an egg hunt? Nfufu, this is very Easter-y.

Hinata: We’re all excited to get started, but will you be joining us, Hibiki-senpai?

Wataru: Yes, as I know where it’s hidden. Also, today you're looking for one piece of chocolate.

Hiiro: What’s the grand prize?

Wataru: Whoever finds it will… Actually, nevermind. I shall reveal it once we find the chocolate ☆

You’ve got 10 minutes. Well then, let’s begin…☆

Time: 10 minutes later

Hinata: …Uhh. Did you guys find the egg-shaped chocolate?

Shinobu: Fumu? You’re holding a chocolate…shaped like a rabbit?

Wataru: Congratulations! The Easter Bunny chocolate that Hinata-kun is holding is today’s winning piece ☆

Hinata: I don’t really know how, but I’m happy I won! Thank you very much ♪

Wataru: As you found the correct chocolate, your prize is that you’re now this unit’s leader…☆

Hinata: Ehh~. I’m the leader…?

Wait, nonono! I can’t be the leader just because I found the right one! That’s weird!

Besides, you didn’t participate in the hunt, right?

If this was how you were going to decide who the leader was, why did you exclude yourself before we even began…

Wataru: I suppose it’s a little devious for me to have done that. But there was always the possibility that no one would find the rabbit, therefore I wasn’t completely excluded.

Being the oldest here is quite enough. I also felt that I would fit the role of mentor better rather than leader.

Hinata: But, being the leader of an important shuffle unit…

Is it alright for me to be the leader just because I found the bunny?

Mika: Umm…I think Hinata-kun would be fit for the job? I wouldn’t wanna do it myself, but Hinata-kun could.

It came up when I was talkin’ ‘bout costumes with Anzu-chan.

I was able to paint Easter eggs, and those were put on display…

Hinata-kun must have heard what we were talkin’ ‘bout at school, ‘n told Anzu-chan ‘bout it.

Hinata: Well, that’s only because I happened to have consulted Anzu-san about it beforehand…

Wataru: Though, you’ve been consulting rather than talking. Have you been working towards the Easter Fes this whole time, Hinata-kun?

Shinobu: You asked everyone here to form a shuffle unit, and you said that you wanted Hibiki-dono to join.

Hinata-kun has set everything in motion since the beginning. I also think there is no one more qualified to be leader than you ♪

Hiiro: Umu. I am glad that Hinata-kun was the one who discovered the Easter bunny.

As the leader of our unit, I want you to rally us together!

Hinata: I-I couldn’t? Wouldn’t that be kinda embarrassing…?

Wataru: Fufufu, is that so? Hinata-kun, please relish in that feeling of indescribable embarrassment ♪

Hinata: Hnnng, what’s that supposed to mean?

I became the leader of 2wink because I’m the older brother. This is the first time it’s been decided not based on something like that.

So it’s pretty embarrassing, right? Going from two people to five is a big jump, so is it even okay for me to…?

Wataru: We don’t have any concerns. It’s a 100%, completely unanimous result, Hinata-kun ♪

Well then, would our leader like to give a few words of inspiration?

Hinata: Ah. So you guys want a few words of inspiration? Sure thing…!

Shinobu: ...♪

Mika: ...♪

Hinata: …Ehh~. This has all happened quite suddenly, but I’m Hinata Aoi, leader of this shuffle unit.

Nonetheless, Hibiki-senpai has been guiding us up until now. Each of you have been working really hard.

We’ve all grown as friends. We share the same feelings as we’ve been on this journey together.

Though I’m the leader now, nothing will change, and I hope we all continue to get along and have fun until the last day of the Fes.

However, you’ve all entrusted me as leader, so I must meet your expectations. I think we need to strengthen our bond, so that we can become an even better unit.

Hiiro: ...☆

Wataru: ...☆

Hinata: For both the shuffle unit, and for the Easter Fes. Let’s put the strength of us five together so this is a huge success…☆

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[treewithabark]

Just an unnecessarily long post about dog gear I want- scroll by if you don’t want my ramble

So in feb I’m gonna have a treat yo self month because it be my birthday, and I may have a lil extra spending money from working a bunch of overtime during Christmas (I am knackered but I needed the cash and work needed my assistance)

And seeing as no-one likes buying me dog gear as Christmas/birthday gifts I’m gonna buy myself these nice things.

I wanna get Juno a lovely leather collar, nefjas person sent me a link to a German company who make elk leather collars in a martingale style??? Absolute perfection. I’ve been a sucker for martingales for a couple of years now and am reluctant to turn back.

What a delectable collar. So chic. So stylish. Fancy collar for my non-fancy mutt to strut about the town with (no flooded field walks for that collar)

Gonna pair it with a brand new cute dog tag because Juno currently wears Hana’s old one. I think after a year she’s earned her own tag, don’t you think?

Lookit!!! So cute!! It’s not Juniper tree but it’s close enough (don’t tell my partner, the tree surgeon, I said that). Would look so good with the collar.

And since my mendota lead is looking real ropey (haha, because it’s a rope?) I’m gonna treat myself to a new one. It’s served me so well but I did not look after it. Now it smells and is fraying and the leather by the clasp is loose. It just looks a mess. Love my mendota lead, don’t love that I’ve destroyed it. I did dabble with the idea of an adjustable lead but they’re all flat and I’m sorry but round leads are superior. I’m not ready to go back to flat. Mendota so comfy, mendota so röund, medota have goldish clasp to match tag and collar ring.

But do I stop the spending there?? I’ve been gagging for a ruffwear backpack but my lord £100 for a backpack??? I know it’s quality, built to last, and most importantly designed to minimise injury but it’s a rather frivolous spend.

My reasoning is that added weight to some walks may help reduce some pulling, she’s so much better but still gets excitable. It can be useful if we wanna go on longer hikes once my partner and I have time to do some weekends away. Carrying water etc. I really want to do a camping getaway at some point and having her carry her own food is adorable and practical. But also it could be useful on days where we want or need to be a bit lazier. Dog needs exercising but we’re burned out/ill? Cool, mile and a half sniffy walk with lightly packed backpack. If I wanna tire her out because we have plans and need her nice and calm? Boom, backpack walk.

Also, backpack cute. Backpack could have patches. Backpack bring joy to look at. Backpack make chronically ill days much easier.

Backpack.

Oh there’s also an adorable martingale collar on Etsy that I want. An unnecessary purchase but I so rarely find a martingale I really really like (I’m picky okay)

But there are things that I could spend my money on that is (arguably) needed more. Waterproof longline, new treat pouch, new walking boots because mine are leaky, dog toys that serve a purpose more than “it squeaks and can be thrown”. I also need a haircut and new prescription glasses but it’s more fulfilling to spend money on the dog.

GAH! Maybe I’ll win the lottery on Friday and I can buy it all. But until then I gotta budget and make informed purchases.

Anyway I just wanted to rant to the void because I usually do all this in my head but I wanna get more active on tumblr and sometimes airing these thoughts helps make decisions. And if you suddenly see me posting Juno in 4k completely decked out in new gear in the mountains? I’ve won the lottery, quit work to travel with dog that has a whole new wardrobe, captured on a top of the line point and shoot 😂

[eternalglitch]

Okay, first off- thank you so much for responding eeee!! I literally got so excited when I saw this last night! Second! I was reading your writing tips [and now I’m gonna try and enter NaNoWriMo this coming November] but I would still love a little help :D 

I was hoping I could maybe hear more about how you got people’s attention / what your main reading resources are that developed your amazing writing; and how you were able to partner with other writers for the first time?? Like, how did those interactions transition to trusting relationships? :>

I’ve been a fanfic writer since I was 11, and I started looking into being an original writer this last year. I’ve admired the fanfic writing community since I was 11, but I’ve never tried reaching out, until now.

So this really meant the world to me that you responded :> :) :D

I have so many ideas, but I have a really hard time with writing more than one beginning-or-end chapter. 

So I had thought, maybe learning how you got to where you are, would show me the way. 

-Thank you for listening to me ramble. lol. 

Good luck with NaNoWriMo! It's going to be quite the trip, but hopefully it'll be fun as a whole. Be sure to sign up on the official website!

As for how to get attention... honestly it's a mix of skill and luck. It's hard to coach anyone how to do that because it's all about having the ability to write something good while ALSO landing in a spot where people are able to actually get a chance to see your work. I posted lfls when the fanfic scene of Rise of the TMNT was very small; it was one of the few plot-driven longer fics of the time, so it was easy for people to notice it. And once it was noticed and talked about in that smaller circle of fans, as the fandom's size exploded it was already easy to find for newcomers that wanted to try reading Rise fics so it was just yanked up there with that wave. I couldn't recreate that situation if I tried. But if you get your storytelling ability up to a certain standard, I think you'll at least find some people out there that will be excited to read your work. I can't promise it would be in fandom famous amounts, but you never know! Hopefully the luck aspect will happen for you, too.

Most of the chances I've had at teaming up with other writers and artists was because my work was already known. I've been approached multiple times because people who I admired noticed me following them on social media and since they liked my own work or even just knew of my reputation, wanted to become friends (and vice versa!). And I find that that's actually a really good way to make friends, if you happen to be in that situation! We both are intimidated by each other for a good three days and then two weeks later I'm making fun of them for being short on Twitter (I'm sorry Pen, True, and Andy lol). It's easier for me to take that step into connecting with people I admire when I kind of know they are also a bit scared of me in the same way, haha. Any other times I've met people is by becoming friends in larger fandom discord servers, which is also a great way. Just be careful and follow the standard online safety rules.

For resources, I just read a lot as a kid. Like a book every two days. I also was active writing online, of course, and read fanfics a lot. And then I also majored in Creative Writing in college. Personally I think actual classes help some, but the best thing was actually posting my work and seeing what kind of reception it got and judging how to push that even farther from there. I would also see what kind of language I liked or disliked from a wide variety of fics and books, including the classic ones I read during high school. I have a scathing hatred of Faulkner and took NOTES on how to avoid his style lol.

After that... I think you're mostly getting at that you want a road map of my little journey, so sure! Here's some highlights.

As a kid, I spent most afternoons at a friend's house. We would staple paper together and make little comics. Mine were mostly bad Warrior Cats fanfiction.

2009-2012 I was active on a virtual pet website called Chicken Smoothie (yes that's the name. What About It) with an active forum area. There was a lot of little roleplays I joined there, and often contests to adopt character designs would include a writing section. The friends I made there and whatnot really started me on creating characters and trying to write more often. I even started my own original story there based on some of the pet designs.

2012(?) I posted my first official fanfic online. It was called I Must Be Dreaming and has since been deleted from everywhere except my old personal files. It was about a main character being brainwashed into joining the villains in an old anime series (sound familiar?)

2013 I posted and finished a fanfic called Shadows of Pride for Fullmetal Alchemist. It was seven chapters and 27k words in total. The main thing I learned from this one was how to plan a story out and complete it. This was also the first year I entered NaNoWriMo for an original 50k novel called Wide Awake.

2015 was the Undertale period for me. I got up to top 10 ranked Undertale fanfics on fanfic.net, and finished a full longer story- Over and Over, which was around 64k. I also wrote some shorter ones, but that was the only one of note. After that year, I transferred to ao3 as my home base for fanfic.

2017 beat NaNoWriMo again with another 50k original story titled Lights Out.

2018/19 I worked on a My Hero Academia fanfic called Way Out of Character. I never finished this one, but I absolutely learned more about manipulating how I utilized POV in my writing.

2020 I started Like Father Like Son.