#i’m so pissed off ya’ll don’t even know the half of it

[c-t-r-l14]

A RETROSPECTIVE, A REFLECTION, AND YES, ANOTHER DAMN ALEX RANT.

What I find the most amusing is the fact that Saku likes my rants about Alex.

At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if ya’ll know me as, “That One Girl Who Despises Alex”, because I write about how mad he makes me, and have MULTIPLE RANTS about how much I dislike him and his gaslighting, excuse-making, manipulative, no-backbone having, crybaby bitch ass.

Like—I be jumping Alex, reading his ass for filth, and be downright destroying him and Saku reads it and is like “Lmao, good stuff”, and LIKES THE DAMN RANTS.

It’s really crazy because at first, I was really scared about posting my first ever rant about him, because before people saw just how immature Alex was being in the breakup audio, a lot of people were jumping listener in the comments and talking about how it was their fault that this happened in the first place. Now, listener is definitely NOT a saint, at all. Even though I sympathize with them, what they did was wrong—point BLANK. But the way their relationship ended wasn’t entirely their fault.

I remember reading the comments and there were some people who said, “Ugh, if listener just didn’t say anything at all, this would’ve never happened”, but that shit confuses me so much?? I do agree that they should’ve been more careful about their approach when it comes to confrontation, but if THIS is the way Alex reacts when Listener looses their cool and does something in the heat of the moment, who is to say that it wouldn’t happen at all? He was so damn quick to end a four year relationship over a mistake. He never put in any work to see why listener acted out that day. He never once tried to talk to them, he acknowledged the fact that they don’t usually act like this, made up stupidly flimsy excuses on why the relationship would supposedly would not work, said some out of pocket shit about them not being the right partner for a long distance relationship, AND THEN PROCEEDED TO GASLIGHT THEM into thinking that THEY were the crazy one for reacting to what he just said, tried to manipulate them into thinking that the reason why their relationship ended was all their fault, and tried to act like HE was the mature one by making the decision to end it in the first place—-

And you’re telling me you saw ALL OF THIS UNFOLD, and your first thought was, “Oh yeah, all of this is definitely listener’s fault. They had it coming, lmao. Good luck to Alex in the States.”

OH H E L L NO.

If he had been so quick to end his relationship of F O U R Y E A R S in a heartbeat over something he K N E W to be an out of character mistake, then what on God’s green Earth would make ya’ll think that he’d stick around had listener stayed silent???? Listener will make mistakes, and there will come a time when their emotions will get the best of them (as it does with all of us), and you guys really believe that Alex’s fickle, emotional whiplash having, “this would be good for us, we both wouldn’t be tied down anymore 🥺” headass would still stay then???

Because, HE W O U L D N ‘ T.

He saw the opportunity to leave, and he took it. He already had his mind made from the jump when he told his mother and father, his friends, his acquaintances, his ancestors—and the ENTIRE W O R L D that he was taking that NYC job and his partner was last to know. Listener—-his own goddamn partner—-was the only person he needed to get rid of. They were his “burden” to bear, and he wanted to rid himself of it. And he didn’t want to seem like the bad guy, so he made excuses to make the break up easier on himself, pushed the blame away from him, and cried like the little baby back bitch he is in order to make it seem like this was such a hard decision to come to. He disregarded listener’s feelings, disregarded them as a whole, disrespected them, and left them with (probably) more trauma then what they started with.

I am sick and tired of seeing people blame the listener for everything that happened. They did not deserve the way they were broken up with at all. Alex isn’t a victim. He never was—and he stopped being the “mature one” (if you can even call it that) the moment those dumbass excuses came out of his slimy mouth.

For the people who were saying, “Alex deserves better than listener! I hope he finds a new partner.” Ya’ll need to realize that if this is how he acts when listener makes a mistake, he will do the absolute same thing with his future partners. He will give up the entire relationship and make an exit plan as soon as they do something even a little bit out of character. People who fold that easily and refuse to put effort in their relationship will NEVER KEEP IT. He will end up being single, and I know he’s the type of person who will never consider himself as a factor as to why his relationships all end in faliure because he has such a victim complex.

This man deserves absolutley nothing, ya’ll! NOTHING!

And I hope that one day, he realizes what he did was wrong, and apologizes to them. I will literally not be able to die peacefully if this doesn’t happen.

The craziest thing is that back in the olden days (four months ago), I would’ve been so scared to publish this whole rant, ya’ll. 😭 My dislike for Alex has been a hyper-fixation that held me in a massive chokehold—and I was honestly scared I was going to get hated on for not liking him (as well as my reasons for disliking him in the first place). But in the most strange turn of events, a lot of people share the same disdain I have for him too, and the comments on that break-up audio is now more critical toward Alex than it is toward listener, and these were both really big shocks to me. I’m really happy that a lot of people enjoy my rants, and even more happier (and surprised) to see Saku HIMSELF like my rant posts too.

Like literally ya’ll, I couldn’t believe my eyes. The love ya’ll leave for these rants are the reasons why I feel more and more confident to make them in the first place, and I appreciate it all very much.

So, here’s to next year, and to all the rants I’ll make in the future! And I hope we’ll all have a great year!

(Except for you, Alex. I hope your credit card declines when you try to pay for that $2.90 train fare and nobody opens the emergency door for you).

[thatseventiesbitch]

My Reddit essays (Pt 1)

[On fans accusing Donna of being toxic in her relationship, or bad to Eric]

Eric very much became a shell of his former self in season 7. To me, it seems the writers/showrunners didn't know how to handle TG's impending departure from the show. They had Eric/Donna's wedding collapse because they were afraid to write a married Eric/Donna in season 7, and then have to deal with writing off one half of the married couple after TG left the show. So instead we got the weird plots they came up with for him for season 7, to lead to his eventual ending in Africa. I agree that it's frustrating to watch. It's why I don't watch season 7 a lot - and season 8 almost never.

I do feel that a lot of people write off the way Eric treats Donna in the later seasons, though, and that's not really fair. We can dislike the plot all we want, but it's just as much a part of their relationship history and dynamic as any episode from season 4. Eric leaves Donna at the altar... and she forgives him INCREDIBLY easily. Eric is really selfish when he decides to go to Africa - he doesn't talk to his partner about moving overseas for a year, and then is all ????? when she's upset at him for it. But once again, Donna forgives him and promises to wait for him. She comes around and is supportive - goes with him to get his vaccines, gets him a going-away present, drives him to the airport. And then when he gets to Africa? The dillhole breaks up with her in a letter.

Writing that all out gives me pause. Like, shit, ya'll really think Donna is the toxic one here? Hmm. In the early part of their relationship they were teenagers, high schoolers who were both learning how to be in a relationship for the first time and making mistakes. This is how Eric was acting when they were grown.

We haven't even talked about

The David Milbank episode, where Eric implies he only spent time with Donna as a friend so he could one day date her/he values her for her body not as a person

The several times throughout the show (S3xE7 Baby Fever and the S6 episode when they thought she was pregnant) that Eric made comments about how he expects her to stay home and raise their children, even though he knows this is definitely not what she wants

The SAT episode, where he loses his shit and has an inferiority complex meltdown because she scored higher than he did.

I'm gonna stop, because Eric is actually my favorite character too and now I'm getting pissed at him.

I still don't see what you see, in terms of Donna treating Eric poorly at any point in the series. I do not think Donna was a perfect girlfriend by any means. She had some moments that were bad, selfish moments (like all of the characters did) but they were pretty few and far between. The criticism I see of her most often on this subreddit is that she overreacts or gets upset at Eric for insignificant things. And that's just not what I see. In each example in this thread, I've explained how Eric played an equal role in the conflict. He, just like Donna, was in his first relationship and made some mistakes as he figured it out. In most of their conflicts, they were both at fault and they both realized it in the end. That's what I enjoyed about their relationship.

I also see criticism that Donna's a hypocrite or never apologizes, and that's also just not what I see. Donna apologizes a lot. She makes mistakes a lot, but she usually realizes it by the end of the episode and apologizes or admits to her role in the situation. A few examples:

S4xE5 "Bye Bye Basement" - Donna is being mean to Eric after their break-up. He calls her a bitch and Donna reflects, and asks their friends if they agree with him. They do. She realizes she's got lingering feelings left over from their break-up and that's why she's lashing out at Eric. She goes to him and apologizes for the way she’s been acting.

S4xE7 "Uncomfortable Ball Stuff" - Donna yells at Eric after seeing him kiss a girl on their date-that-wasn't-a-date to the Pricemart Ball. This was hypocritical of her. But she know it, and comes over the next day to apologize.

S4xE27 "Love Wisconsin Style" - When Donna gets dumped by Casey she comes back to Eric. A lot of people focus on how she asked him to take her back and whether Eric was right or wrong not to do so. But what Donna actually said first was, "I'm so sorry" - seeming to take responsibility for their break-up/year apart/the whole Casey situation. It also seems like she's about to go into that subject more/apologize again in S5xE1 "Going to California" when she and Eric are in the back of the van. She says, "Eric about Casey, and all that stuff -" but he cuts her off and says he doesn't care.

S6xE17 "Happy Jack" - After she catches Eric in the bathroom, lol, she forgives him at the end of the episode. She says she knows the celibacy thing was her idea and it's been really hard, so she accepts some responsibility for the odd and disgusting things he does.

S2xE20 "Kiss of Death" - Donna is initially really mad at Eric for accidentally killing her cat and then lying to her about it. As I type that I'm like... yeah, girl, I fucking would be too!? But after she talks to Jackie she puts it in perspective and at the end of the episode she's reflected and she tells him that she knows he only lied because he didn't want to hurt her.

S2xE6 “Eric’s Panties” - This is the episode where Donna finds panties in Eric’s car and jumps to the conclusion he cheated on her, but they were actually Midge’s (from her hook-up with Bob). At the end of the episode she apologizes to Eric, says she knows she made an ass out of herself, and (at his insistence lol) says she knows he’s hot enough to get other girls.

S6xE21 “5:15″ - After the Mitch-wedding fiasco, Donna lets Eric gloat and point out that he was right and she was wrong, even though she doesn’t seem thrilled to be wrong. She’s then supportive of Eric beating up Mitch, and tries to help him by telling him not to do the Forman death-grip because it doesn’t really hurt (lol).

I. Could. Keep. Going!!!

Donna is not a perfect character, but most of the time in she and Eric's fights or conflicts, she is not acting unreasonably and/or Eric is also acting unreasonably. She's also a very reflective character. She has no problems apologizing or admitting she wasn't right about something, and she does so over and over again in her relationship with Eric.

I don't know why so many people are just predisposed to want to hate her, but I don't think those people are watching the series with an objective eye. I have lots of theories on why Donna's a lighting rod for male hate. But that's quite a different topic.

**There have been some fascinating discussions on reddit lately. Bringing my thoughts over here to my T70S blog!**

[kaneydas]

if they had more time to flesh out the rest of kaneda’s gang, what do you think they’d be like personality-wise? idek why but i love those guys

THIS ASK HAS MY WHOLE HEART❤️ such a great idea, i love them too.

cw: drug mention, injury mention(?)

If I interpreted this right ur referring to the guys we get to see in the movie for like 0.5 seconds. The funny thing, that most people maybe don’t know about(?), is that they actually have semi-canonical names! I think u can find them by playing the somewhat obscure and kind of shit Akira game that came out in 1988 lol. But I will spare you of having to do that lol

Not including Kai & Yamagata here but if u want sum with them too just ask. Also, I’m just going off of PURELY vibes here hehe so feel free to agree or disagree

Mitsuru Kuwata

Weirdo. Just gives me weirdo vibes (*loving tone*)

You know that one kid in middle school that freaked out all the other kids by turning his eyelids inside out or by doing other kinds of gross stuff in general? Yeah, that’s Mitsuru.

Youngest child vibes

Gets into fights easily, pretty impulsive as a person in general.

A true instigator at heart LMAO. Likes to say out of pocket shit just to start a heated discussion. I don’t even think he believes half the shit he says, he just likes to piss people off.

As a result, it’s really easy to get into random, weird, and petty arguments with him. Like why tf are ya’ll arguing about whether water is wet or not rn

Green is his fave color.

One time he and Kaneda thought it would be a fantastic idea to try and race each other in the dead of Neo-Tokyo’s winter. In the end, Mitsuru fell of his bike and got the nastiest road rash scar ever on his chest and right arm. He still has the scar to this day, but he thinks it looks fucking sick (and it kind of does tbh).

Yuji Takeyama

Chronically cranky.

Looks way meaner than he actually is, tho.

Mitsuru is his 4lyfer, but he would never admit it to anyone. They argue like they hate each other almost every day but they’re always together. Yuji is his one living braincell.

He’s the only one with any living braincells in the entire gang actually, which doesn’t say much anyway…

He’s a hater at his core. Laughs his ass of whenever Tetsuo falls off his bike, makes fun of Yamagata when he mispronounces words, and so on.

Asshole, but he can be nice sometimes. Always pays for his friends whenever they want snacks or drinks from the vending machine. I also feel like he remembers everyone’s birthday.

Was blonde at one point before he shaved his hair, but no one dares speak of that era lmaoo

Eiichi Watanabe

Literally zero thoughts behind this dudes eyes. Just going through life on autopilot atp

Surprisingly sweet and mellow tho, has the whole gentle giant vibe going for him, kind of

Always super relaxed and easy-going, I feel like he’s ideal to have in a stressful situation. But is really lazy and hates doing anything that requires too much effort too, tho

Smokes soooo much. Literally. all the time.

Always laughs at people’s jokes, no matter how bad they are or how awkwardly they’re delivered.

Really strong and is the tallest out of his friends (the gang), so he thinks it’s funny to pick some of them up randomly and put them in air jail

Always keeps forgetting where he put the keys to his motorcycle. Also his wallet, always forgets his fucking wallet. Super forgetful in general.

[sims2stillbycara]

Talk about how the mighty have fallen. Anto used to kinda be the homie in the pirate days of sims 2. But ya’ll really glamorized buying wholesale into capitalism. I’m all for earning a living for your work. I have seen so many creators who I’d be more than willing to support if I had the funds to, and I encourage my friends who do to do so. But not only do you technically not actually own any of your CC (EA does because they’re monsters), but you’re not actually supposed to make profit from it (which I kinda disagree with tbh for a number of reasons). The early access model that became wildly popular here I think is great, or just making your post on Patron in general so people can see a direct avenue to support creators on. But I’m never gonna support completely private content creators, which is fine, it’s not for me.

What I will openly rally AGAINST is putting ANY KIND OF SPYWARE on CC. It’s incredibly invasive and violates a user’s right to privacy/expectations of privacy. That’s illegal hoe, I hope someone slaps you with a class action lawsuit faster than you can add a swatch. You already made you’re money and you’re just being petty because you’re a dumb bitch. People pirating your shit were NEVER going to pay you, you were never going to earn from them, but you’re so damn outta touch you don’t even know that. This is straight up elitist prick behavior. Someone remove the spyware and bring back patreon must be destroyed. THAT I will give money to even tho I’m broke af rn, and I don’t even want your janky hi poly shit, I just wanna piss ya’ll off. Also how dare you disrespect your paying customers, imagine if you bought a cupcake and you got banned from kroger because they saw you share half of it with a friend. This is stupid af. These people are paying for access to your CC, regardless of you TOU they are legally allowed to share it because you’re not actually the sole owner of the CC, every person that uses it in game owns it. 1. If someone sells you a product (CC) with spyware (trackers, downloaders, etc) in it, THEY ARE VIOLATING YOUR RIGHT TO PRIVACY AND YOU CAN SUE THEM FROM ANYWHERE BECAUSE IT WAS NOT DISCLOSED.

2. Fuck all of these people. They’re not your friends, they’re not your senpais or whatever it is kids say these days, they’re using you. You are a number and a profit margin, not a person. This is commercial artwork now. No more emotionally invested in you than a McDonald’s happy meal smile. They are literally spying on ALL of you because some people shared their work which has not cost them anything because the people it’s shared to wouldn’t have subscribed anyway.

3. Unsubscribe from any patreon known to be doing this, openly boycott them, blast them anywhere and everywhere, report them to patreon. I’m gonna go back to making shit I never post now. Fuck all this shit.

edit: This isn’t drama, it’s dangerous and disrespectful.

[dawnwriterimagines]

End of it All: Fezco x f!Reader

Summary: the police come to the house while getting ready for Lexi’s play. fezco is forced to live with what happens next.

Warning(s): Lots and Lots of Angst, Blood, Guns, Police etc.

Author Note: I’m legit warning ya’ll this is sad. but enjoy anyway!

Buy me a Coffee? Ko-Fi - my rent and tuition donation funding, please support me if you’ve enjoyed my work. I’d deeply appreciate it. thank you!

- - -

You cupped the boys cheeks, eyes sparkling, and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Mwah!”

“Will you quit that!” Ashtray swatted you away from him, his cheeks burning red and fists balling up in embarrassment as he jumped off to the side, pointing an accusatory finger at you. “Don’t be doin’ that shit with people around! What’d I tell you?” 

“Ok, ok,” You only continued to smile, “I’ll stop,” you laughing slightly at his reddened face. “It’s just we’re gonna be gone for four whole hours,” you dragged on the word, dramatically, only continuing to laugh as he rolled his eyes at that, giving you a look. 

You hummed, “Alright, ok, I’m sorry, babe,” you reached over to him, he swatted your hand down, slapping it quickly, almost scoldingly. You snorted, “Relax! I’m just wiping your face. Unless you want my lipstick on your face?” 

Ashtray’s eyes went wide and he desperately began to wipe his cheek with his sleeve, “Oh, come on, you really gotta do me like that!” he grumbled as he found you were right, a smudge of red lipstick on his wrist. “Get it off’a me! I got a rep.”

You chuckled, leaning down. “Oh, calm down, no one’s looking. But, if you keep making a fuss like that Fez’ll come up and see you like this. Now, hold still,” you said, and he quieted instantly, glancing over at the doorway and allowing you to rub your thumb over his cheek, removing the stain. 

As you did so with care, a gentle look on your face, he found himself looking at you a little carefully this time, a light dusting of pink tinting his cheeks as you caressed the side of his face in the end, lips curling up, affectionately. Your eyes were warm, they held him close and he was always content in the reflection of them. He was used to your motherly ways, but they always seemed to throw him for a loop, never really knowing what to do with himself. Usually he was welcoming of it, when not in the presence of anyone other than family, sometimes even asking for some extra attention away from Fezco. Pulling her arm over him when they watch movies, once he even peeked into yours and Fezco’s shared room to ask her to sleep with him because of a nightmare. Fez was pissed for three whole days for that one.

“There ya go,” you ran your thumb against his cheek one more time, more of a loving gesture than anything, before straightening and glancing to the door as Fezco entered the room. Ashtray looking away from you and to his brother as you spoke, “Aren’t you lookin’ handsome," you smiled, walking over to him. 

Your boyfriend smirks at your words, leaning down to peck your lips, “Yeah?” he wonders, looking down at himself, outstretching his arms to give you a full view. “Tie or no tie?”

“How about no tux?” you whispered, suggestively. 

You chuckled as Ashtray gagged behind you and Fezco shook his head, a humored look on his face, “Be serious, ma. If we get into it now, we ain’t leavin’ the house,” he said.

Ash sighed. “Ya’ll gotta learn to keep that nasty shit to yo’ selves.”

“You know you ain’t gotta be here for it, bruh,” Fezco countered, Ash making a face at him.

You pulled at the tie of his suit, “No tie, for me, but you can ask Faye too.”

He shook his head, “Already asked, why the tie not workin’ for ya’ll girls, exactly?”

You shrugged. “I just like it better, I guess.”

Fezco accepts the answer, “’Ight then,” he then nods at his little brother. “Ey, bruh, what time is it?”

Ash looks down at his phone, “Uh, well, the play starts in like half an hour, so ya’ll betta get the fuck outta here,” he directs to the door before making his way out of the room. “Ey, ma,” the boy spins around on his toes to face you as you start to put your heels on.

You raise your head to look at him, “Yeah, sweets.”

He doesn’t mind the affectionate nickname, doesn’t even blink at it. “You goin’ to Wade’s right?”

You hum, lightly. “You want the usual, right? Burger, fries?”

Ashtray grins, albeit faintly. “Yeah.”

“Gotchu,” you winked at him, just as he leaves the room.

Fezco comes up to you, watching as his brother leaves. “You really got bruh wrapped around yo’ finger or somethin’,” he takes your hand as you stand from the bed, your heels on and makeup done up, dress fitted right to you. “Actually, you got both of us wrapped around yo’ fine ass, you lookin’ good, ma,” he looks you up and down, and you blush, giggling at his words.

“Don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish, Fez,” you brought your hand up to his jaw, running a finger down the length of it.

“I guess it all comes down to who finishes first, don’ it?” He brings one hand down to your waist, pulling you close, your noses rubbing against each other as you lean in closer. 

You smile against him, lips brushing along his, he leans down hungrily, capturing yours for a moment before you pull away. He pouts, confused as to why and you giggle, taking his chin between your thumb and pointer finger, “As you said, we won’t leave the house if you keep this up. We’re gonna be late,” you gave him one last kiss, that he could hardly reciprocate as he began to curse going to the play mentally. 

“Aw, ma, you gon’ do me like that?” he grumbled, while you patted his cheek. “’ight, fine, but we finishin’ this when we get home,” he slapped your ass as you pass by him to the bathroom, you giggle and turn to wink at him before heading out the room.

Fezco goes into the living room, taking the flowers they planned to bring to Lexi after the play was over, knowing how much the production meant to her. You smiled to yourself thinking of your friend, picking up your phone to text her that you were on your way, when you heard the sound of glass shattering.

Spinning around, stunned at the sound. “Fez?” you leave the bathroom and rush down the hall, seeing Fez and Faye by the kitchen, “What’s going on?” the young woman leaning down to pick at the glass she had dropped, she looks up to the two, putting a finger over her lips, a serious look in her eyes. 

Your brows furrow in worry and you and Fezco share a look, you look over at Custer, who’d made himself at home on the couch while you and Fez had gotten dressed for the play. Ashtray was sitting on the chair just left of the man, a glare pointed directly at him, as opposed to the warm look he had shared with both you and fez just a few moments ago. Oh no...

“Didn’t you hear me man?” Custer spoke, expecting something other than silence from Fezco. “They found Mouse’s body.” 

What the fuck?

You tried to keep your eyes from bulging wide open because although you weren’t there when they got rid of the body, you had walked in on the killing. Seeing Ashtray standing over Mouse’s dead body would always be engrained in your memory but you’d still always stand by him. But still you held your breath, opting to look towards Faye as she stood with heaving breaths, not looking at you as she tried to keep herself as composed as possible. 

Fezco puts his hand to your midback before it goes to your waist, his fingers pressing into your skin, you wonder if its to calm you down or to steady himself, maybe both. 

Faye says something about Laurie, you can hardly hear her, a ringing in your ears, everything suddenly feels slow and hardly real. You squeeze your eyes shut and open them again as your head begins to ache, your eyes open and find Ashtray. He’s still sitting there, staring long and hard at Custer, his left hand fidgets with something, the afternoon light hits it for only a second and your eyes go wide. You’re pulling away from Fezco as soon as you realize, Custer’s eyes flickering to your movement before cursing at Faye as she persists on pinning the murder of Mouse on Laurie.

Fezco reaching for you, his fingers nearly locking around your arm, until you move a little faster, feigning a reach for your watch on the small table, just near the chair Ash sat on and a little behind Custer. If you moved any closer than he’d know something was up. You barely pick it up as you try to lock eyes with Ashtray, the knife he held in his grip peeking out a little more, “Ash,” you breathe out. He doesn’t hear you. your voice is small and you didn’t realize until now that you were shaking, hardly able to keep your voice together. 

Something was waiting for you...

Waiting for you to make a move, to slip up in some way.

Everything felt wrong. And you couldn’t help the horrible feeling that ran through you.

You caught sight of Custer’s phone on the coffee table, you pale as you notice it, knowing that someone must be listening in on the other side. “Ashtray,” you said again, this time louder, he stands, trying not to look at you as he slips the knife down from his sleeve into his hand. “Ash!” you gasp out, you rush to him.

“Wait Ash, No!” Fezco puts a hand out to stop him but it’s too late.

Custer turns to you, confused at the tone of your voice, the warning of it. But, nothing more than a gurgle of blood leaves his throat. He puts his hand to his neck, blood coating his fingers and he attempts to scream, but before he can, Fezco has a hand around his mouth. You pull Ashtray back from Custer, the boy now realizing what he’s done as Fezco nods to the phone, knowing now someone had been listening.

They all remain quiet as possible as Custer struggles to cling to life, you take Ashtray’s face in your hands as he looks to you, a regretful and saddened look on his face as he tries to tell you how sorry he is, that he wished he listened, that he didn’t mean to put them in danger, that he was only trying to protect you. But, he could only let you press your forehead to his as he gasped in a shaky breath, shaking his head, remorseful, wanting nothing more to just collapse in your arms now.

I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry!

I’m so sorry!

But, you kissed his forehead and rubbed his shoulders despite his mistakes, even as frightened tears filled your eyes when you carefully picked up that cellphone and walked over to the kitchen, pass Faye and let it drop into the cup of soda speaker first. 

You hold the edge of the sink, steadying yourself for what was to come, what would’ve become of all of you, of your boys, of the family you’ve built together, of the family you’d planned for the future. You close your eyes as you lean down, feeling sick and feeling scared, you wanted to scream, but you wanted to cry, but you couldn’t do either. Not yet, there was no time. 

You feel Fezco’s hand on your back, pressing right into the spot that always eased you and going up to rub circles into your shoulder blades, it took a few seconds but you turned and wrapped your arms around him. He welcomes your embrace, pulling you in as you bury your head into his chest, fingers digging into him as you held in sniffles as you cried softly from the tense nature of the situation. 

“I’m sorry I brought you into this,” Fezco whispered into your hair, his voice cracking against you, he held you tenderly to him, cradling your head into his chest. “I’m so sorry. I ain’t mean for any a this to happen,” he pressed a shaky kiss on the top of your head as you held him tightly. “I love you, ma. I love you, baby,” he ran a hand down your hair, running through it as if for the last time, his hand fisting into the loose fabric of your dress.

“Fez?” you wondered what he was thinking, you look up at him, despite how you must look, eyes puffy and cheeks stained with tears, he doesn’t hesitate to cup your face and kiss you, his thumbs running over your tears and wiping them away. He pulls back to look at you once more, your eyes searching his, “Fez,” you breathe, you’re not sure what else to say, but you don’t like that look in his eye. “What’re you-?”

He lets you go, walking out of the kitchen and past Faye who makes her way to the security room, he goes straight up to Ashtray and swings on him, you gasp, running over as the boy falls with the force of it. “Sorry bruh, but I gotta make it look like you ain’t do this,” Fezco apologized as his brother stood, a cut lip that spilled blood.

You then began to understand Fez’s plan, trying to keep yourself from sinking to your knees, this can’t be happening. 

Ashtray walks away as his brother tells him to wash his hands of the blood that stained them, with the knowledge that he’d take the fall for everything he did just so he could run away, and give himself over to the police peacefully.

Fezco wipes Ash’s prints from the knife, he stares at the handle for a moment and wraps his own fingers around it, sealing his fate and his choice. He looks up at you, at your sad face, the one that made him want to falls onto his knees and beg that you’d smile for him again but he knew in the end just seeing you made his sacrifices worth it because he was doing it for you, for Ash, for his family.

The click of a gun magazine made the both of you turn, confused, walking into the hallway to see Ashtray holding a handful of guns, the packs of bullets also in his hands, already emptying into the weapons. 

“Ash, what’re you doing?” you asked him, stunned at this turn of events, horrified even of the thought of what he was thinking. 

Ashtray turns, locking eyes with you from the end of the hallway as you and Fezco rush up to him as he tosses the guns into the bathtub of the bathroom, his eyes were red with tears, bottom lip quivering at the mess he’s made. 

“Ash, stop playin’!” Fez yelled out, “I need you walk out this fuckin’ door right now, bruh! Ash, we not doin’ this shit!”

Ashtray ignores his brother, unable to meet his eyes as he dumps the rest into the bathtub. “How you think this gon’ end bruh? You tryin’ ta die?!” Fezco shouted from behind him.

“Ash, please! Don’t do this,” you plead with him as you both near the door, the boy holding a machine gun close to his chest as he finally turns to look at the both of you, you have never seen him look so scared, so vulnerable and sad. “Ash, baby,” you breathe, these were the days that you wished things were different, that Ash was able to grow up normally, Fez never got into the drug market. Things could’ve been so different.

“Gimme the gun bro,” Fezco extended his hand, but Ashtray said nothing, only shaking his head, unable to speak a word unless he’d break right then and there. “Ash, I’m not finna let nothin’ happen to you, so gimme the gun. I’m not fuckin’ askin’ bro. Come on bro, please,” he begged now, time was running out, shit had already gone down and things were just about to get worse.

Your heart shattered as Ashtray finally began to cry,  soundlessly, tears leaking from his eyes, unable to keep them at bay as they overcame him, running like a downturned river, You didn’t know what to say, what could you say? That it’d be okay? It wouldn’t, and you all were fully aware, but with time it’d get better and you’d both learn to deal with what would come. But, for now, it was all about staying alive and getting out of here as safely as possible. 

“Ashtray,” you hadn’t said his name like that in years honestly, Ash looks at you, his mouth opening before closing as he fights a climbing sob at your voice. “We’re gonna be ok. It’s gonna be ok,” you moved closer to the boy, his grip on the gun tightening but he lets you cup the side of his face in your hand. “We’ll figure it all out, but right now, we need to go, babe. We need to go,” you fight back tears of your own as you hardly manage the sentence, knowing that the moment you get to those doors that it’d all be over, everything would change and consequences will be tried for. But, it’d still be okay in the end, it was something you needed to believe.

Ashtray looks to you and then to his brother, a contemplating look on his face, almost defeated, almost accepting. “Come on bro, you got it,” Fezco has a gentle hand on his brothers shoulder, just as the boy begins to loosen his grip.

That’s when you all hear the sound of a metal snap, the sound of one of the front doors many safety locks, you and Fezco both turn at the cling that rings into the house. But, then Fezco turns back to Ashtray ready to take the gun from him, but Ash hits him with the end of the gun, and pushes you back with it, Fezco cursing out in pain at the bruising hit. You check on him, just before raising your head to see Ash stepping back into the bathroom.

“No! Ash!” You race forwards just as he closes the door, he nearly slams it onto your fingers as you reach for the handle just as he locks it. “Fuck! Ash, please!”

“Ash! No, open the door!” Fezco stands and pounds on the door, the knife in his hand, the handle banging against the wood. “Come on, Ash! Open up! Don’t do this!”

The front door of the house explodes open, you flinch, pausing in your banging to look back, shoulders tensing as you look back, fearfully. “Fez,” you breathe out, looking to him, as you hear the police enter, a smoke bomb filling the hallways. Your boyfriend steps in behind you, his entire body shielding you, blocking your view of the hallway, just in case, your eyes flicker up to his above you and he presses his lips to your forehead, as if for the last time. 

“Ash!” he calls out to his brother once again, banging on the door, “come out! Ash, man, please! Come out!”

You cry. “Ash! Baby, please, come out!”

You see the red dots sliding against the walls and the doorway before you hear their voices.

“Put your hands up!” 

“Step away from the door!”

“Hands up!”

“Wait, please!” you both put your hands up quickly, the feeling of their guns and the click of them just feet away from you sends you into a brief panic, but still Ashtray, behind that door, it scares you the most. “There’s a kid here! He’s just a kid!”

“There’s a kid here! Don’t shoot! Don’t Shoot! Don’t shoot!” Fezco repeats, pleading, as he and you back up from the doorway, he drops the knife as they demand of him. They never drop their guns, the red dots that fly around the walls around you are undoubtedly pointed at your backs, “Don’t shoot, please! There’s a kid here!”

“ASH! ASH! Come out!” Fez bellowed for his brother.

“Move slowly!

“Keep your hands up!”

“Ash, come out! ASH!” you screamed, begging, praying that they wouldn’t shoot and Ashtray, all of them, could somehow come out of this alive. “Please, don’t shoot! He’s just a kid!” You breathe heavily as you stare at the door, waiting for the knob to turn for Ashtray to walk out finally, but he never did.

More of them come up behind the two of you as you back up, closer to them, closer to their grasp, “There’s a kid here please. Please, don’t shoot!”

A bang goes off, sounds like a bullet, a bright light that flickers for only a moment, a flash grenade triggered by one of the police, but Ashtray doesn’t know that, he flinches from within the bathroom and starts shooting, bullets flying through the doorway and into the hallway.

Next to you, Fezco cries out in agony as he’s hit in the stomach, the bullet flying straight through him, he drops as soon as he feels the pain, as if it cripples him, he lets out a heart-wrenching scream, the surprise of the feeling is what mostly causes it. But, then you fall next to him. But, not like he does, you don’t scream, you don’t even move to cover your head as Ashtray sends out flying bullets from his side, the police shooting from the other.

“Ma?” Fezco’s eyes widen at you. Your eyes flicker over to him, your eyes clouding, like they did before the high took you.

“Fez,” you land on your side, you blink, almost lost in space, you breathe deeply for a second before coughing as you roll over onto your back, and that’s when the color starts to spread, growing . The blood running down from your chest to pool around your collarbone, his eyes widening at the sight, crawling over to you as your eyes crossed for a moment, “Fez,” you repeated, quietly, trying to understand what had happened.

“Ma. Ma, oh go-,” he gasped, pulling you to him, groaning painfully from the wound in his gut, but the agony in his heart was worse. “No, no, no. (Y/n),” he strokes your cheek as a single tear rolls down to your hair as you breathe, looking at him absently. “(y/n), baby,” his eyes are wide, breathing harshly as he gasps with a watery cry. “No, no, please,” he whimpers out as he then looks towards the door, where his brother continued to shoot from. “Ash,” he cries, “ASH! Stop, please!” but the shooting went on despite it all.

“I-I...what?” You choke out as Fezco pulls you into his grip, “Fez, a...are you...ok?” he curls over you, shielding you from the falling debris and the bullets that still shoot from either side. “Am I...am I ok?” you didn’t like that look on his face and the fact you couldn’t feel much of anything didn’t make you feel any better. “Fez?”

He looks away from the blood that slips past your collar and down past your neck, overflowing and steadily flowing down to the carpet, staining it as your eyes droop. “it’s fine, ma,” he forces a smile on his face as he moves your hair from your face, “You’re ok, we’re ok, you’re okay, baby,” he strokes your cheek, sniffling as you blinked up at him tiredly, giving him a hum of a smile, a sort of relief in your eyes. “I love you, ok? Ok, baby?” he took your hand, pressing it to his lips as he stared into your eyes, the ones that slowly begin to lose their sparkle. “I love you so fuckin’ much, god, I love you. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he cried, wrapping his arms around you, you make a sound that resembles the word love, your fingers twitching up to reciprocate the action but they remain still. “I’m sorry.”

“Fez...” you mutter, barely above a whisper.

He apologizes with a sob that rips through him, the gravity of everything hitting him with a force that suffocates him. “I love you,” he breathes into you, “I love you,” he says again, and he repeats it until he feels you relax in his arms. But, he just keeps going, he keeps saying it, because it’ll be true even after that, after your gone, after all of this, it’ll be true till the end of it all.

“I love you, ma,” he kiss your forehead, taking a shaky breath as the shooting finally stops, and you remain still in his arms. But he can’t stop shaking, he can’t stop the tears that fall from his face, the numb feeling in his chest, in his mind. It’s all so much.

“Ash,” he stares into the door, his voice monotone, “Ash...Ash,” he could do nothing but call out his brothers name as the house went quiet, had he lost him too? How could this be happening? How could so much go wrong in so little time? “Ash!” His eyes looking to the doorway, trying to see any indication that his little brother may be alive, the only thing he had left in this world. Please. Please, God, don’t do this to him.

One of the policemen went up to the door, turning the knob, the lock having broken during the shootout, he opens the door and it comes to reveal Ashtray laying still on the floor, Fezco’s whole world shattering as the officer lets everyone know with a turn of his head. “He’s down.”

It’s so quiet. 

It’s silent in his head. In his heart. 

A dead feeling filling him, one that he can’t explain. 

And one that hurts like nothing at all ever had.

But, then Ashtray sits up. He’s relieved for a moment, until he sees the shotgun he’s begun to raise, and Fezco’s had enough.

“ASH!” he screams, the boy pausing at the sound of his brother, his eyes flickering over to him, the body of you held tightly in his arms.

Ashtray’s heart breaks, eye’s widening just before they water, reddening with their horror and agonizing sadness, gun beginning to drop before it’s falling flat at his feet.

The boy hiccups in his anguish as he looks to you, the way your arm limply settled against the carpet, stained red and the way his brother held to you as if he didn’t even know he was holding you so tightly. 

And he knew he shot you.

He knew.

And his eyes filled with tears, and they fell, and they stained the earth, they stained his soul. 

So, before the policeman can take him by the arm and haul him up, he brokenly whispers something, choking on the air he forcefully tries to inhale as he begins to sob.

“Mom?”

Tag List:

@herejustforjj @runway-to-my-aid @p-peacholic @iwannabeapogue @vidyagaems @derangedangel @itty-bitty-dancer​ @sugercoated-lame @chaoticficrecs​ 

[maddiwrites]

Breathe With Me

Pairing: JJ x Reader

Summary: After finding out who hurt you on that horrific night, JJ helps you through another panic attack and makes plans to protect his girl.

Note: This was requested a long time ago after a chapter of my rewrite was posted! Instead of doing JJ x OC, like requested, I changed it to JJ x Reader so that people who don’t read my rewrite can enjoy it too. Hopefully this is okay with ya’ll. 

Word Count: 3.5k

WARNINGS: Sexual Assault!!! This chapter has descriptions of sexual assault. Please do not read if this is TRIGGERING!!!! 

National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

Masterlist

It was another regular day on the island. Hot and crowded with tourists. With everyone working, you decided to tag along with JJ and Pope to delivery groceries for Heyward’s business. Usually this meant going to Figure Eight, your least favorite place to be. Normally it didn’t creep you out too much, but because of a rather recent incident, you didn’t like being there.

Right after your dad went missing, you spent a lot of time with Kie as she lived out her Kook Year. Avoiding the Pogues and John B and surrounding yourself with stuck up assholes and their expensive drugs and alcohol helped you forget about your own family crisis. You would do anything to take your mind off your dad’s disappearance even if it meant getting high on whatever was offered to you. You didn’t ask twice about what it was. You figured if the rich people we’re doing it, it couldn’t be that bad right?

One night you did a long line surrounded by Rafe and a couple of his buddies. Pretty much everything after that was a blur. Your memories are fuzzy, like a puzzle piece you can’t piece together. The last thing you remember is your black hitting something soft, like a mattress or a pillow. You thought you heard the zipper of your shorts being pulled down but figured it was Kie helping you change into a pair of pajamas. 

The next morning you woke up practically naked with a blanket covering your bottom half and your bra pulled down to your stomach. You began to panic and ran your hands down your side, flinching at the tenderness by your hips. The skin was yellow/green and getting ready to bruise. Your breathing became shallow and your throat tightened up. You fumbled around the room you didn’t recognize for your clothes and slid them on, not caring what was backwards or inside out. You stumbled out the door and tip toed down the long staircase of the large house you were in. Figure Eight, you thought. 

You didn’t go home first. You went to Kie’s house. Because your body ached. Because you wanted to cry but didn’t want John B or the other boys to hear you. Because you were afraid to be naked around anyone but another girl. The second she opened the door, you sobbed into her arms and told her what you think happened to you. Kie tried to get you to go to the police or even the hospital, but you couldn’t fathom the idea of anyone knowing about what happened. Not even a stranger. Because you were embarrassed. You blamed yourself for this happening to you. You were high as fuck, trying to forget about your family troubles. You were the one to make yourself weak and vulnerable. No one else. Someone just took advantage of the position you put yourself in.

Kie didn’t pressure you. She wanted to support you in whatever decision you made, despite wanting justice for you and sending whoever the sleaze bag was to jail. She sat on the toilet and talked to you as you showered slowly. You spent most of the time staring at the wall and feeling ever inch of your body. You felt so dirty and no amount of soap or scrubbing could make you feel any cleaner. 

You stayed at her house for a couple of days until John B eventually texted her because he was worried. You both decided it was time for you to go home, but you never told them what happened. You were afraid of what John B and even JJ would do if they found out. And the last thing you wanted was for either of them to get hurt or in trouble.

John B didn’t notice something was off as much as JJ did. He could tell you were being more quiet and reserved than usual. Your usual style of crop tops and jean shorts changed to sweats and baggy t shirts. You slept with your door locked and didn’t touch a single can of beer since you came home.

Moving on from that night was a slow and gruesome process, one you don’t know if you’ll ever fully recover form. Luckily for you, JJ was a great distracter. He was an amazing story teller, he could make you laugh with a small hand gesture, and his laugh could draw you in for hours. No one was surprised when the two of you eventually started dating. Not even John B, who was a little apprehensive about it at first. 

To JJ, everything came to light when another make out session became heated. Like that morning, it became hard to breathe and your mind wandered off to what could have happened to you that night. In a blink of an eye, you were back in Figure Eight with someone pulling your zipper down. You could physically feel the bruises on your hips again and your skin burning. 

A panic attack emerged and JJ was left confused and lost. Fortunately for you, he was quick to realize something was seriously wrong and helped you through it. He breathed with you and talked you down. When you were calm, you explained what happened. At first he was pissed. Pissed at whoever could have done this to you and even a little bit at you and Kie for keeping this from him. He was ready to charge out of the house, grab John B, and find the sick son of a bitch who would touch an unconscious girl. But your cries stopped him. He’s never heard pain in your voice like he did that night. It physically cracked his heart into a million little pieces and he dropped every instinct he had and stayed with you instead. 

Since then, he’s been the most supportive and protective boyfriend. At every boneyard party, he would keep an eye out for any Kook that decided to show their face on your turf. He took note of anyone looking at you in a weird way. He carried the gun he stole from Scooter in his backpack for protection. He was serious about using it too. No one touches his girl and gets away with it.

Luckily, nothing happened between JJ and any Kook. No one made a move to talk to you or tease you. Kooks kept their usual distance from you, which not only made you feel better for yourself but because you didn’t want something to happen to JJ. You know the rules of the game of this island. Nothing bad ever happens to Kooks. They don’t know consequences. 

When Pope docks his boat, he asks if you would come with him to drop groceries off at the Thorntons. If he did it alone, it would cause two trips and he doesn’t want to waste time. 

As you go to agree, JJ steps in and shakes his head as he looks between you two. “I don’t think thats a good idea.”

“Why not?” Pope asks, completely clueless.

You subtly shake your head, silently begging for JJ not to say anything. Pope and John B still didn’t know and you want to keep it that way. Sure you would feel safer with JJ by your side, but you won’t be alone. You will be with Pope. And who would try to start something in the middle of the day anyway?

“It’s fine, J,” You tell him. You even try to joke. “I’m sure you’ll survive one hour without me.”

When you kiss his cheek, JJ turns to look at you with his brows pinched together with worry. “Y/N...”

“Seriously, J...” You say. “It’s okay. I’ll be fine.” You whisper that last part as Pope turns to get the bags. 

“You have your phone?”

You nod and pull it out of your pocket to show him. “Yes. I’ll call you if anything happens.”

As JJ walks in the opposite direction of you and Pope, you feel the tension in your shoulders get tighter. The sight of these homes gives you flashbacks. The worst part about all of this is you don’t even know who hurt you. It could’ve been anyone - a touron even. It would be easier to know who did it so you know who to avoid. 

Pope notices your change in behavior but doesn’t mention it. Instead he keeps a silent eye on you and studies your every movement. 

As you pass the golf course, you hear a couple cat calls and cheering from a group of teenagers. When you look up, you see Rafe, Topper, and one of their friends making their way over to you. You take a step behind Pope, hiding behind his body and keeping your eyes trained down on your shoes. 

“What do we have here?” Rafe whistles as he comes closer. He looks down at the bags in your arms and the beer in Pope’s hand. “Bring us something?”

“These are already paid for,” Pope glares at them.

“Oh, right, right,” Rafe nods as if he understands. Then he takes is golf club and swings it at the brown paper bag in Pope’s arms, causing everything to spill out of it. 

“Dude!” 

“Sorry, man!” Rafe holds his hands up in fake surrender. He leans down to pick up a beer bottle and tosses it to his tall friend. “Trevor, you feeling thirsty?”

The guy, better known as Trevor, cracks the beer open and takes a long sip. When he looks down, he spots you and eyes your figure up and down. Then he smirks to himself and a shiver runs down your spine. You don’t like the way he’s looking at you. Like a piece of meat or someone he knows too much of. 

Rafe catches his eye and smirks to himself. “Ah, yeah. I forgot. You and Routledge have some history.”

Pope looks over his shoulder at you and sees your chest rising and dropping at a quicker pace. You’re gripping the bags in your hands so tight that he can see your knuckles turning white. You look away from the group of Kooks at the golf course with a frown on your face. Something was wrong, Pope thought. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” Trevor chuckles. He looks at you again and tilts his head. “What? You don’t remember me?”

“Pope...” You feel like you’re choking. How could he know you when you have no idea who he is? You don’t like where this is going.

Trevor continues, “Can’t say I blame you. You were out of your mind wasted that night -”

“What the hell is he talking about?” Pope says, looking between you and Trevor. He wasn’t one to get confrontational or angry, but he didn’t like what he was hearing. He didn’t like how you were acting. Something wasn't adding up. He knew you’ve hooked up with Kooks before, but this one was different. 

“Almost as dead as her daddy,” Rafe chuckles. Something in Pope snaps and he pushes Rafe back by his shoulders. In retaliation, Rafe raises his golf club and smacks it against the middle of Pope’s back, causing him to fall down with a thump. 

“Pope!” You cry and drop the bags you were holding and kneel next to him. 

“Hey,” Trevor touches your shoulder to try and pull you away from the two fighting boys, but you flinch away from him. 

“Don’t touch me! Get away from me!” You cry.

Trevor immediately holds up his hands in surrender and takes a step back. Your outburst causes everyone to freeze in their movements, even Rafe and Pope. The wheels in Topper’s head start to move a little quicker too. He looks between you and Trevor and feels off about your connection. You looked terrified. And Y/N Routledge was almost never terrified. 

Even though you are outside, you feel claustrophobic. Your heart is beating so heavily against your ribcage that you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to break your ribs. Pope notices you’re two shades paler and having a hard time breathing. Tears are silently falling down your face and you continue to crawl away form the group of Kooks backwards. 

“Y/N...” Pope says quietly.

“We should go,” Topper says. He never hated you like some of the other Kooks did. Sure you never got along, but a small part of him thought you were cool. He knew something was extremely wrong and he couldn’t help but think it had to do with their friend, Trevor. He looks at Rafe who continues to stare at you with surprise. “Dude.”

“Yeah...” Rafe says slowly. “Trev, let’s go.”

The three Kooks scatter back to the golf course. You squeeze your eyes tightly and grip the fabric of your shirt, pulling it away from your body because right now it just feels suffocating. 

“Hey.” Pope crouches down near you and lightly touches your shoulder. His touch feels like an electric shock, making you flinch even further away. When you open your eyes, you’re back in some random Kook’s house on a mattress you’re unfamiliar with. “They’re gone. Hey, they’re gone.” Pope tries to be gentle with you, but he also wants to get you out of here and in a more comfortable setting. 

“JJ,” You manage to say. Your throat feels on fire. “I need J-”

Pope immediately starts fumbling for his cell phone and dials his best friend’s number. He bounces on the balls of his feet as he impatiently listens to the ringing. “Come on. Come on.”

JJ answers. “Hey! Sorry I’m on my way back now. You’ll never believe how much this lady tipped me. I swear I’m coming on every -”

“JJ, shut up and listen to me. Y/N...” He glances back at you and sees you’re hunched over with your forehead resting on your knees and your fingers through your hair. “She’s having a panic attack or something. I - I don’t -”

“Where are you?” JJ’s once elated tone has dropped to a more serious one. 

Pope tries explaining what part of the golf course they are near. 

“Okay. I’ll be there in five minutes. Pope, get her under some shade or something. And if you can, try to get her to look at you. She needs to open her eyes to see where she is.” Pope nods, forgetting that JJ can’t see him. “Pope!”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Okay, doing that now.”

JJ hangs up the phone so he can run faster. 

Meanwhile, Pope crouches down in front of you again and says, “Y/N/N, hey. Can you open your eyes?” Pope lightly taps your ankles. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s just me.” You slowly blink your eyes open and sniffle back the tears. Pope smiles when he sees he’s made some sort of progress. “Hey. JJ’s on his way. Why don’t we move you under some shade? It’s getting pretty hot out here. Can I help you up?”

You nod and let Pope help you up and bring you a couple feet away under a large tree. Your back rests against the bark and you try taking deep breaths to calm the swirling nausea in your stomach. 

It was Trevor. It had to be Trevor. From the way he looked at you, to the innuendo Rafe made. You knew in your heart that it was Trevor who had hurt you that night. 

A part of you always wanted to know who did this, but another part of you wished you never figured it out. Because now his face will haunt you forever.

About a minute later, you hear another set of footsteps quickly coming your way. You panic, your immediate thought going to Trevor. Would he come back? 

But then you hear your boyfriend’s beautiful voice. “Hey.” His tone is soft and gentle. “Hey, baby. Look at me. It’s JJ.” You open your eyes and meet the lovely blue one’s you fell in love with. He grins at you and takes your hands in his. 

“I’m so - sorry,” You sob, suddenly hating yourself for bringing this back up to your boyfriend and ruining Pope’s work routine. “I - I -”

“Hey,” JJ says and pulls your hands to his chest, palms down. “Remember what we did last time? Match my breathing, okay? Ready? Take a deep breath.”

Pope watches with awe silently from the sidelines. He’s never seen this side of either one of you. You so panic stricken and scared, JJ so intent with concern and intuitive. 

You follow JJ’s breathing until you feel calm enough to breathe on your own. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry,” JJ shakes his head. “Don’t be sorry. Do you want to tell me what happened?”

You look down at your hands that are folded in your lap. You want to tell him. Of course you want to tell him. But you’re afraid of what happens next. You’re afraid of how JJ will respond.

“Rafe, Topper, and their friend Trevor jumped us,” Pope answers for you. Like JJ, he’s also curious about what happened. Of course he was there for the physical breakdown, but he wants to know more about what you’re going through emotionally. 

“Did they hurt you?” JJ looks back at you and inspects every inch of your open skin for signs of scratches or bruises. 

You shake your head. “No.”

“Then...”

“I know who it was,” You say, your voice as soft as a whisper. 

“What? You mean. -” JJ’s head snaps back and forth between you and Pope. “Who?”

You dip your chin into your chest to hide your tears as they start to flow again. You take a deep breath and look back up at your boyfriend. “Trevor.”

“Who the fuck is Trevor?” JJ looks at Pope. 

Pope shrugs, “I don’t know. He was golfing with the other two Kooks.”

“Where’d they go?” JJ stands up, causing both you and Pope to follow him.

“No, JJ -” You try to pull him back to you but he slips his wrist out of your grip. 

“JJ!” Pope calls out to JJ who walks in the direction the other three disappeared to. 

“JJ, stop!” Your voice cracks which makes JJ turn around to look at you. “Please. I just want to go home.”

JJ freezes and bites down on his bottom lip, feeling conflicted. His head is telling him to run after the Kooks and beat every single one of their faces in until he finds the one named Trevor. But his heart is telling him to walk back to you and take care of you. 

“Okay,” he decides and wraps his arm around your waist. “Let’s get you home.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

After you fall asleep later that night, JJ tip toes out of your room and silently shuts your door behind him. You passed out early, exhausted from the panic attacks and crying. In the living room, Pope, Kie, and John B are waiting. You had no other choice but to tell John B what happened. Now that Pope knew, it felt wrong keeping it from your brother as well. Of course it caused an argument, but in the end, John B only wants the best for you and to protect you. Which is why they’re here now.

“Ready to go?” JJ looks directly at your brother.

John B holds up his car keys. “Let’s go.”

“Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” Kie grabs John B by the elbow and glares at both of them.

“Where do you think?” JJ says.

When Pope and Kie stepped out of the room to check on you, JJ and John B both secretly decided that when you fell asleep, the two of them would sneak out and find this Trevor person and give him what he deserves. 

“Don’t be stupid,” Pope says, looking between the two. “You know how this works. The two of you end up getting in trouble and he gets to walk away clean.”

“I don’t care. I’ll kill him -”

“You can’t,” Kie says.

“I’m not asking for your permission, Kie!”

“Where’s the gun?” Kie says. “If you’re going to do this, I’m not letting you bring the gun. Leave it here.”

JJ looks up at John B who reluctantly nods his head for JJ to give it up. The blonde sighs and reaches into the back of his waistband and pulls it out.

“This is a bad idea,” Pope says again even though he knows the other two don’t give a shit. In a way, he kind of respects it. He would go to if he didn’t have a scholarship to worry about.

“Keep an eye on her. We’ll be back in a couple hours,” John B says.

“You better hope you are. Because if you’re not, you’re only going to be making this worse for her,” Kie tells them.

Kie’s words have both John B and JJ rethinking their decision. But only for a split second. 

JJ nods. “Don’t worry. I’d never leave my girl behind.”

[bottoms-movie]

SAMBUCKY FIC RECS

so a lot of people seemed interested this so here it is! if ya’ll like this, i can make more parts! this is split into three categories: based on tfatws, canon divergence, and au. all fics are on ao3. all of the fics are complete. some fics do include smut, but i included the ratings, so make sure to check for that based on preferences!

also, feel free to send me asks on your thoughts on any fics or if you’re interested in another sambucky fic rec post!

BASED ON TFATWS

Fill the Hole in my Heart | Not Rated | 4,848 words

Bucky dives into the world of online dating. The girls are nice, but there seems to be something missing. When he goes to Louisiana to meet Sam and his family, he realizes what that something was.

Skip, Reverse | Explicit | 7,945 words

Sam stood in the middle of their local Target with a throw pillow in each hand. The one in his left hand was butter-soft and matched the drapes in the living room, but Bucky had walked by five seconds ago and declared the one on the right “absolutely fucking hideous,” and so now Sam kind of wanted it more than he had ever wanted anything.

Sometimes romance is just bickering with your superhero partner/roommate at several different Target locations.

just won’t do right | General | 7,524 words

Sam's eyebrows go up, impressed, and he reaches over to squeeze Torres' shoulder, "This is amazing, kid. Thanks, really."

Bucky sits and watches in utter horror as the pink darkens on Torres' cheeks.

Oh, he realizes. Oh. Fuck.

body language will do the trick | Explicit | 12,598 words

“There’s no way you’re going to win this,” Bucky tells Sam. “I am going to love language the shit out of you.”

Sam gives him a considering look. “You do seem like you’d be really good at that.”

Bucky’s cheeks flush with heat. “Thanks, pal, I—”

Sam smirks, and Bucky’s eyes narrow. He shoves his elbow into Sam’s side and stalks off, leaving Sam cackling behind him.

“Your ass looks great today!” Sam yells.

Bucky reaches up to flip Sam the bird, and he definitely does not feel grateful that he wore his good jeans today. Bucky’s ass looks great every day.

checklist | General | 4,716 words

Bucky Barnes keeps a mental checklist of things he knows to be true at any given moment. Sometimes the checklist changes, because he's learned something else about himself. It changes, for example, when he starts realizing that maybe he would like to kiss Sam Wilson. Maybe.

best laid plans | 3 parts | 26,808 words

part 1: baby you’re the wave and I’m ready for the crash | Explicit | 6,616 words

Nah, my plan’s better,” Sam declares, before clapping Bucky on the shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what plan? Was that a plan? It didn’t sound like a plan to me, it sounded like a vague intention,” says Bucky, still scowling, and Sam grins.

“We’re winging it, the plan is a work in progress! Now c’mon, we gotta make some wardrobe adjustments if we’re gonna get into that club.”

Sam and Bucky have some unorthodox methods of going undercover in a club.

He Doesn’t Deserve You! | Teen | 5,154 words

Sam and Bucky have an argument that results in Bucky being left at the bar. A group of drunk strangers assumes Bucky just got dumped and quickly adopt him for the night to make him feel better.

Reconstitution | Not Rated | 10,228 words

“I didn’t back Steve on the Sokovia Accords,” Sam says unprompted one day. They’re so close to apprehending the Flagsmashers and wrapping up this ridiculous saga.

“I don’t follow,” Bucky says.

“I was the one who refused to sign it first. Not Steve.”

Sam says it so softly that Bucky has to strain to hear him. Sam is loud and chatty and half the time he keeps up a constant stream of chatter just to get on Bucky’s nerves, but Bucky’s coming to realize that when he really wants to make himself heard, he’s soft spoken and mild. Bucky doesn’t entirely follow his train of thought, though.

Or: a breaking down, remaking, and coming back stronger than ever before

Stuck On You (You Suez, You Luez) | Explicit | 10,136 words

Sam and Bucky’s mission was simple: stowaway on a ship suspected of weapons-smuggling in the Suez, gather enough intel to report back, and hop off again in Port Said. Something gets in the way, and a day-long recon session turns into a week of chess, bickering, semi-successful movie references, and trying not to go slowly insane.

His Touch | Mature | 1,006 words

When Baron Zemo touched Bucky’s face, Sam Wilson saw red.

Bucky just wants Sam to comfort him.

rusted | Teen | 2,358 words

Bucky doesn’t grace him with a sound of acknowledgement. He’s been quiet, ever since that night with Zemo. Well. Quieter. It’s almost like. Every time he opens his mouth, he’s half-expecting the Winter Soldier to come out.

He hasn’t, yet. Won’t, ever again. Not unbidden. Sam’s sure of that. Bucky, not so much.

‘You busy?’

‘’m scouring the—’

‘Good,’ Sam cuts the idiot off, ‘I need you to help me shave.’

advanced therapy methods for large adult men | 2 parts | 11,717 words

part 1: The Gottman Method for Dealing with Conflict | Mature | 4,187 words

Bucky and Dr. Raynor have a follow-up session and two entirely different conversations about his relationship status.

Or: Let's do more couples therapy, James.

it’s always Bucky’s Fault | 3 parts | 20,089 words

part 1: Did you see it? | Explicit | 3,905 words

In which there's supposedly a viral video of the Winter Soldier on his knees sucking off Captain America.

Everything is, like always, completely Bucky's fault.

CANON DIVERGENCE

Even in the Present (I Am Living in the Past) | Teen | 16,977 words

Sometimes Sam still questions everything about his ability to shoulder the 80-year legacy he now bears. His history, and the history of his loss, sticks with him and even in healing he doubts whether or not he is able to fulfil his purpose, and whether he may find lasting peace and happiness.

Told in fluid-fragments, the story moves between his therapy sessions after his return from active duty and the post-Endgame present.

You never forget your first | Teen | 3,650 words

The story of Bucky and Sam getting together in a series of firsts.

leftovers | Mature | 19,249 words

With the New Avengers up and running, Sam finally has time to start dating again. Unfortunately, it's not going as well as he'd hoped.

Partners | Explicit | 7,235 words

Sam's not sure if he can be Captain America. He's not a supersoldier. He can't throw the shield. He's just a dude.

And Bucky Barnes is just a nuisance, albeit a pretty good-looking one.

I’ll explain everything to the geese | Explicit | 50,949 words

Bucky is so competent that it hurts my feelings is not a rational complaint to have about a person, and yet, after a year of being Captain America and partnering up with Bucky for the new and improved, post-Blip Avengers, that’s kinda how Sam’s feeling.

It’s not great. It maybe leads to Sam making some rash, ill-advised decisions like claiming he has a previously undisclosed superpower, and then getting caught in a web of lies when he ends up actually developing that surprisingly inconvenient superpower. Talking to birds had seemed like a harmless superpower, but it turns out that birds have a lot of opinions, and they don’t hesitate to tell Sam about them, especially when it comes to his supposedly subpar courting skills. Which is ridiculous, because Sam isn’t courting Bucky. Right?

Night Swimming | Teen | 2,056 words

“Come on. The princess has a new arm for you and I gotta see if there’s a barber around here willing to tackle your…” Sam waved a hand at Bucky’s face.

“I don’t want a new arm,” Bucky immediately bit out.

And then -

“I can cut my own damn hair.”

Sam just raised both eyebrows. Crossed his arms over his chest again.

Dared Bucky to prove him wrong.

AU

Cpvert Coffee & Flirtation Specialist | General | 5,542 words

The reporter says "—for Captain America to—"

And Bucky rolls his eyes. "Oh, here we go."

Sam looks at him then tips his head sideways, got a weird grin on his face. "Not a fan?"

"Not that. Just… the guy seems too good to be true, right? Wings and a shield?? Come on."

"Uh, is that why your eyes are like glued to the screen whenever he's on?" Kate says. "Is that why you call him Captain Tight Ass?"

"He's a goddamn show-off, and you know it. Tight ass or not."

Just then Sam snorts, real loud, grabs his coffee and suffers a horribly controlled laugh on his way out the door.

Stolen Moments | Teen | 98,767 words

“No,” Sam said, chuckling. “I don’t cheat,” he swept his gaze up and down James’ body, “even with guys who look like you. But, I’m bored and a little pissed, so if you wanna sit here and shoot the shit ‘til my man shows back up, I’m game.”

Never one to back to back down from a challenge - especially a challenge who looked like Sam Wilson - Bucky took another swig from his bottle and replied, “Sure, doll. I’ve got nothing but time.”

Steve has Sam. Bucky wants Sam. Sam wasn’t expecting any of this.

Such a Whirlwind Since I Saw You | Teen | 10,871 words

The Men of Letters turned Bucky Barnes into a weapon. Hunters Steve Rogers and Natasha Romanov are determined to save him, but they're going to need Sam Wilson's help.

“So you want me to ditch work, drive across America with you until you find your friend, who you thought was dead - all while avoiding some high-tech hunters who are out for blood?” Sam is asking.

Steve shrugs a shoulder, looking a little sheepish. Natasha almost laughs at the dry tone of Sam’s voice, but he's not wrong.

You Got What I Need? | Explicit | 37,588 words

Sam and Bucky are both in a bind, professionally. Nat points out a solution that neither men like. To save their careers they play along or rather, stop playing all together.

[dissociativesworld]

Patience

Pairing: Wrecker x reader

Tags: little bit of angst, dom!Wrecker, cock warming, sex in the pilot seat (sorry tech), overstimulation, implied squirting, probably some other stuff I'm not thinking of

A/N: I had no idea how to end this so it's a little hasty at the end hope ya'll don't mind. Also no idea if I'm tagging people correctly

Taglist: @4rosydreams @kesshou-otome @cobiwanbanobi

NSFW below the cut

A shower had never felt so good. You didn’t even care that it was cold, after months on that godforsaken planet you were finally home. As one of the few females on base, you got your own room but you also knew that more than likely Wrecker would probably be passed out on your bed once you opened the ‘fresher door.

He hadn’t followed you to your room after the mission like he normally did. Hopefully, it was just because he wanted a shower just as badly as you did. But you also couldn’t help but think it probably had to do with your behavior on the mission which you still needed to genuinely apologize for. You’d lost your temper when he made a risky decision, not following the plan.

“Why can’t you be patient for once?!” You’d shouted at him.

In the few years, you’d known the Batch, you’d never raised your voice to any of them. And definitely not Wrecker even in the past year you’d been dating. It was out of character for you and it startled the entire team. Even Crosshair was shocked. And the look your boyfriend gave you broke your heart. But you didn’t want to admit you were in the wrong in front of them. You just wanted them to be safe and if they thought they’d piss you off by doing stupid shit, then you’d be the bad guy.

You turned the water off before wrapping yourself in a towel, the standard-issue military towel almost too small to cover you properly. Walking through your room to grab your blacks you were disappointed to see that Wrecker wasn’t there. Well, you needed sleep anyway. As you crawled into bed, it felt wrong. Too empty without being snuggled up to the large trooper. Maybe things would be back to normal in the morning.

~~~

The next morning you wandered down the halls of Kamino looking for your squad. Peeking into their barracks you were disappointed to see all of them, minus Wrecker.

“If you’re looking for Wrecker he slept in the Marauder last night.” Crosshair all but growled at you.

You made a face, “what? Why?”

“You really have to ask?” He scowled at you, normally he was pretty neutral toward you but he obviously didn’t appreciate that you hurt his brother’s feeling.

Sighing you doubled back to the hangar. You could see him sitting in the cockpit, a pout on his lips as he stared into space. You walked quietly onto the ship, quiet enough that he didn’t look up as you walked up behind him.

“Is it okay if I join you?” You asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Wrecker glanced up, suddenly having his trademark smile on his face. “Mesh’la, I was just thinking about you.”

He pulled you down into his lap, his half-hard erection emphasizing his words.

“I came to apologize.” You smiled up at him.

He chuckled darkly, “I have a way you can make it up to me.”

You quirked an eyebrow, wondering where he was going with this. His sudden change in attitude with your appearance had you wondering what he was thinking. Granted his smile was a welcome change.

“What did you have in mind handsome?” You asked.

Wrecker pulled you back against him, his cock hard against your ass. He kissed your neck, the other hand pulling your shirt up.

“You realize that anyone can walk into the hangar and see us?” You whispered, now wanting to admit that the thought went straight to your core.

He just hummed in response, his wandering hand moving up to your breasts, squeezing your breast none too gently. You gasped in response, grinding yourself against him.

“I’m going to test your patience sweet girl.” He growled low in your ear.

Your heart was in your throat. Wrecker was one of the most kind-hearted people you knew but since getting to know him a little more intimately you’d learned he wasn’t all soft and sweet. And since he learned you weren’t as fragile as you seemed, he’d enjoyed pushing your limits quite a bit.

“I was plenty patient during that mission mesh’la, considering I wanted nothing more than to lean you over the closest surface and fuck you.” His voice was a low grumble.

You whimpered in response, you could feel your slick soaking your panties.

“Look at you all quiet now, where’s my angry girl?” Wrecker asked as he nibbled on your ear.

Your face was uncomfortably flushed, your cunt was throbbing. Not thinking you moved your hand down to touch yourself through your blacks. Wrecker hooked his chin over your shoulder, watching your movements for a moment before putting his hand over your own.

“I haven’t even started yet cyare, are you sure I’m the impatient one?” His hot breath fanned down your neck before kissing your pulse point.

“Maybe not.” You murmured, leaning back allowing the hand up your shirt to pull it up over your head.

“No bra mesh’la? Naughty girl.” He chuckled, pulling his own shirt off before pulling your back against his chest.

Despite being together for so long you’d never get tired of feeling his muscle-bound body against yours. You could feel every movement against you as he wrapped his arms around you, pinning your arms to your sides, a hand dipping between your legs. His touch was teasingly light, kissing your bare shoulders before biting down on the junction of your shoulder and neck, sucking a bruise there.

You whimpered again, squirming in his lap, desperate for more friction.

Wrecker paused his actions. “Don’t draw too much attention to us cyare, you don’t want anyone to see us do you?”

Instead of responding you ground your ass against his cock earning a growl from him.

“Or maybe you do, naughty girl. You want one of my vod to see how riled up I get you? See how good I fuck you?” He bit another spot on your shoulder.

“Please Wrecker.” You whined.

“Pants off, now.” Wrecker all but pushed you off his lap roughly, pulling the waistband of his pants down enough for his cock to spring free.

You pulled your pants down, you’d just barely gotten it below your ass when Wrecker pull you back down onto his lap.

“Giving the rest of them a show mesh’la? Why not just walk the halls naked?” Wrecker growled, hand grabbing your thighs roughly, pulling them apart so that they were hooked over his own.

He pushed your shoulders forward so that your ass lifted off of his lap, with his other hand grabbing his cock and rubbing its head through your folds. You knew you were dripping already, his quiet moans indicating he was enjoying the sight. He pulled you down onto his cock, the thick length spreading you open.

“Take it cyare, such a good girl.” His voice was deep as he reached around you to wrap a hand around your neck just below your chin.

He filled you more than you’d ever been before, you couldn’t move without his cock pressing against a sensitive spot inside you. His free hand went down to your clit rubbing lazy circles. You moved your hips, wanting movement but he stopped you, the grip on your neck tightening and pulling you back roughly. When you swallowed you could feel the strength of his hold.

Again you started squirming, the full feeling of his cock inside you building tension especially as he applies more pressure to your clit. He again tightened his grip, this time pulling your head back to his shoulder.

“I can sit here buried in your pussy all day cyare. I don’t think you deserve to cum after the attitude you gave me on that mission.” His voice was low but you could detect a smirk from him before he kissed your cheek before tilting your mouth to press against his.

“Please Wrecker. I want to feel you cum inside me.” You begged.

“Nice try mesh’la.” He chuckled, fingers against your clit pressing against you roughly.

The building tension was threatening to snap, arched your back, pressing yourself into his hand desperate for release. Wet heat radiated from inside your cunt, you could feel your wetness dripped down his cock and thighs as pleasure shook your core.

“Look at that cyare, squirting everywhere making a mess. You like my fingers and cock that much?” He teased. “Let’s see if you can do that again.”

His hand returned to your clit, now even more tender than before. The crescendo of pleasure building quickly again still riding on the pleasure of your last orgasm.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You whimpered a chant under your breath as you felt yourself tighten around his cock again.

“That a girl, let go.” He moaned, kissing your neck.

Your second orgasm was more intense than the first, your vision blurring as pleasure flooded your body with the snap. Wrecker’s hips thrust into you with a few shallow thrusts before he moaned loudly, his cock twitching inside you as he came.

You stood on shaky legs to lean against the control panel, needing to get away from the stimulation but unable to stand on your own.

“You okay mesh’la?” Wrecker asked, concern evident in his voice as he gently touched your thigh.

You laughed, trying to brush off his concern. “Yeah, that was just a lot.”

You could hear him shifting behind you, assumably pulling his pants back up.

“C’mere cyare, let me hold you.” He murmured, pulling you back onto his lap, gentler this time.

You snuggled against him, his warm body gone from rigid to soft and comforting. His arms wrapped around you, cradling you to his chest. You two stayed like that for a few moments before you dressed and both of you made your way back to your room before you both passed out in each other’s arms.

[mandareeboo]

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not. 

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me. 

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky. 

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster. 

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs! 

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly. 

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong. 

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

[vibesandwonders]

“The what?”

“The Lord of the Rings,” Sam stops dead, and jogs back to him, “You serious? You said you read the Hobbit?”

“Yeah?”

“JRR Tolkien?”

“Yes.” Bucky runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

“But you don’t know The Lord of the Rings?”

“If you keep repeating it, maybe it’ll catch this time.”

Sam’s mouth falls open, “Mother of— they froze you before Lord of the friggin Rings?”

Bucky blows out a blast of annoyed air and moves to run, Sam grabs his forearm, “Stop that, we’re talkin—“

“—We are running.”

“Not anymore,” Sam leans his weight on Bucky and laughs, “Shit. I always forget that they popsicled you,” He shakes his head, “Tolkien, he wrote the Hobbit yeah, but like… ten years later he wrote a Trilogy, the Trilogy, like, the one to rule them all.”

“Are they any good?”

Sam practically squeals with laughter, his arm still looped inside Bucky’s, “Yes.” He says, emphatically, grinning so much that Bucky is tempted to smile back, almost, “The movies are good too.”

“Movies?”

“Moving pictures?” Sam grins wider, “Talkies?”

Bucky tilts his head, rolls his eyes, already ready to run again, Sam’s having none of it, he starts pulling Buck back the way they came,

“What about the run?”

“This,” Sam insists, “Is more important, we gotta head back,”

“It’s 7am.”

“Exactly, which means we’ve got time to hit the store on the way home,”

“Why?”

“Provisions, we’re gonna be busy all day, we need to have snacks and keep hydrated.”

“What?”

“Extended editions baby, this is a 12-hour Lord of the Rings lockdown,” He grins at Bucky, “Consider yourself absolutely blessed that I was nerdy as hell in high school. I gotta text Torres, tell him we are taking the day off.”

“You’re taking a day off, from being Captain America?”

“He’ll understand.”

~ Hours later~

“Bucky,” He sighs, and plants his palms on the kitchen countertop, “James Buchanan Barnes,” Nothing.

He takes his phone out and pauses the damn TV,

The man in question rotates very slightly, his eyes wide, red, in shock, also as pissed as Sam had quite possibly ever seen him, including the time he was kicked off a domestic flight home because of his ‘metal arm’.

“You good?” Sam asks,

“So they just left him? After he sacrificed himself to get them out and across the bridge of Khazad-dûm and away from the Balrog?”

Oh Jesus,

“The bridge of Khaza—" He stops himself, chuckles, can't help it, he shouldn't surprised by this and yet, "Yeah man, they couldn’t—“

“What? Walk out there and grab his hands? There were eight men,” He shakes his head incredulously, “Bilbo’s nephew, wouldn’t walk twenty feet to save Gandalf?”

“Wait wait, Are you crying man?” He smirks, teasing, “There are two and a half more movies to go Buck, and you’re already out here cryin’ your ass off, you gotta chill—“

Bucky regards him sourly, “Have you even read the Hobbit?”

“Not even gonna dignify that kinda hostility with an answer James.”

He unpauses the tv and digs through the fridge, a moment later, the TV pauses again,

“Sorry.” Bucky mutters, “I uh, I’m enjoying them.”

“I can tell.” Sam says, and again, a grown-ass man getting way too sucked in to a High Fantasy trilogy 60 years late shouldn’t be damn adorable, but it is, “You hungry, oh member of the fellowship?”

Bucky rolls his eyes, turns back around,

“Is there coffee?”

Sam grins, and starts filling the water kettle.

“We, are gonna take a break.”

Bucky spins, finger already on the remote to jump to the next movie, Sam shakes his head.

“You haven’t eaten yet, and this is our…shit, third pot of coffee.”

“But they’re taking the hobbits to Isengard.”

Sam cackles, “Yeah, you are indeed correct, that is happening, but, we got 8 more hours of cinematic masterpiece, and you— are gonna eat somethin’”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Would Aragorn not sustain himself while trying to rescue Merry and Pippin?” He asks dramatically,

Another eyeroll, but he stands and stretches, folding one of the new blankets that had somehow started appearing randomly inside his apartment.

“How do you feel about cookies?”

He watches the top of his head twist, but Bucky’s eyes don’t leave the screen, “Thought we were eating lunch?”

Sam laughs, “Thai?”

He texts Sarah, attaches a picture of Bucky swathed in a blanket, staring in fascination at the TV.

“He’s never seen Lord of the Rings.” And then a bunch of laughing emojis.

“So where’s Rohan in relation to Mordor?” Bucky asks over the top of the couch, “They keep talking about the Gap of Rohan, but then…”

“Google it.”

“You’ve got your phone.” Bucky argues, “Do library books still have the maps in the back nowadays?”

Sam’s already got his app open, Complete Works of JRR Tolkien, Hardback

He swipes and makes sure they have maps— New York freakin City, it’ll be delivered before they finish the second one.

“Sam needs to kill Gollum.”

He looks up at the mention of his name, grinning at the screen, then back at the microwave: he lost rock, paper, scissors, so popcorn’s on him.

“Smeagol?”

Bucky purses his lips, unimpressed, “He is clearly untrustworthy, “

“Sam’s also a little jealous of Frodo’s attention, they’ve been one-on-one for a while now,”

“I guess,”

“Frodo also sees a lot of himself in Smeagol, what he could have become…”

Bucky pauses the movie, “they’ve still got those elf-blades.” He mutters, “He’s talking to himself, and creeping off in the night, Sam should kill him, and tell Frodo he found him that way.”

“He was Aragorn’s best friend,” Bucky murmurs, his voice is a little choked up, “He came to defend the men of Rohan.”

“Mmmhmm.”

Sarah’s texted him back:

“Oh god, you found another geek.” She says, “Are ya’ll gonna like have a Star Trek themed wedding?”

Bucky’s got the second book open across his knees, his fingers holding it open so he can occasionally frown down at the maps.

“He died protecting him.”

“They had a bond.” Sam agrees, “Read the appendices, there’s loads more about the elves. Just wait until you get deep in the Silmarillion.”

“Yeah.” Bucky says, only half-listening, “Starting to think his ‘heir of Gondor’ schtick is getting old, man can’t even protect his friends— and where is Gandalf?”

“Are you shitting on Aragorn? Son of Arathorn?”

Bucky shrugs, “Just seems like he’s avoiding his calling, what he’s good at, born to do… running from it, cause he’s scared.”

“It’s a lot of responsibility he didn’t ask for.” Sam replies mildly,

“Tough shit. Sometimes you just gotta use the cards you’re dealt.” Bucky stands, “I gotta pee.”

“You think I should grow my hair out?”

Sam hides his grin, making an effort not to stare at Aragorn on screen, who is currently smoldering with the best of them,

“I think you should do whatever makes you happy, Buck.” He takes a sip of his coffee (decaf this time) and stares fondly (not really) at the side of Bucky’s face. Sure, he’s distracted, but at least this time it’s not damn mission files.

Buck grunts, they’re sprawled next to each other on the couch, knees touching, blankets shared and spread between them. Between bathroom breaks and Sam occasionally poking Bucky to make sure he was still breathing, personal space had become even less of an issue than usual. Not that Sam was terribly bothered by it. They’re roommates, sorta? Partners?

A couple of guys.

“So, Arwen or Eowyn?” Bucky asks, still unblinking, Sam is pretty sure he unleashed a monster, cause this boy is a nerd. He’s already googled other trilogies, on Sam’s phone. Sam is pretty sure movie night might become a thing.

Buck’s still waiting on his answer, it’s a timeless question to be sure, Sam pretends to ponder it.

“Eomer actually.” He says, keeping his eyes on the screen, “Loyal, strong, and the man knows how to ride.”

actual fic here plus others, leave some love, say hi,

[c-t-r-l14]

I’m actually writing some dialogue between Listener and Alex right now for a new story that’s in the works, and I’m still absolutely flabbergasted by the way this man dropped his partner, bro. This man Alex really broke up with listener because of ONE, (ONE!) petty, out of character argument, and then proceeded to gaslight them and make up every excuse in the BOOK on why their relationship wouldn’t work out—without even ATTEMPTING to see if it could work or not. 😐

Like—wouldn’t it be crazy if your parents disowned you because you made a mistake—without even TRYING to see if things could work out???? Without even ATTEMPTING to WORK THROUGH the issue???? Then proceeding to tell you that they’re doing this because they LOVE YOU??? And then continuing to make up excuses to you as to why you can’t live with them or see them ever again, but still trying to convince you that they love you anyway???? OMG, I’D BE SO SICK, YA’LL!!!😭

I feel like I’m more pissed off by the way he broke things off with them, if I’m being so for real with ya’ll. If he broke up with them with no excuses and was actually a MAN about it, of course I’d still look at him funny—‘cause who breaks up with their partner of 4 years after one argument?? But, I’d at least give him props for being mature and truthful about it. But this man just HAD to gaslight and make excuses to break up with them—and half the shit he was saying wasn’t making any damn sense whatsoever.

I know I post a lot about Alex, dragging him and reading his ass for filth—but there was just SOMETHING about his dialogue in the break up audio that made me SO ANNOYED, and I just HAVE to do it, okay???

And besides, if nobody is gonna drag him on here, who will??

Anyway, Session 32 is great song by Summer Walker, ya’ll should totally listen to it🩷~

[haircoveredwriter]

Some thoughts after watching 11x06 "On the Inside". I'll put it beneath a break because there's more than I thought to my mindless rambling.

Okay so they're going with a straight horror movie intro but skipping the usual 'we're having such a good time out here in the woods...wait, something it out here too'

Both LR and KC do a really good terrified for their lives

Also have to say Virgil really seems to have stepped up since we met him because dude can actually take out walkers now. Good job, sir. Never stop learning.

More of Leah walking around amoungst a group of people and having no real reason to be there or contribute anything to the scene. 🙄

Damn, Hondo! Stop pulling at Frost's nails! I can't rip half mine off at work without feeling like Hershel when Rick chopped his leg. Fingers and toes always make thigs worse.

Chokeholds are illegal, Daryl. Someone needs to have him watch his own earlier seasons.

The conversation beneath the conversation between Daryl and Frost is spot on and super interesting.

Daryl's like 'look...I'm going to have to chop your finger off but it's for a good reason. Gonna save your life and who knows, maybe one of these weirdos has a Govenor closet somewhere and they'll let you take it home with you.'

Plus him taking off the vest was WAY more entralling than it needed to be, but I'm a woman with eyes so don't judge me. 👀😍(Enthralling? yup, that's what we'll go with)

It's a definite sign Daryl's not all team Reapers because he's basically taking off/hiding who he really is to fit in with his crazy ex-girlfriend's new posse.

Though my science schooling is giving how little blood there is from the amputation the side eye. Guess Frost just willed his blood some place else.

Am I crazy or is the music playing while Daryl torutres Frost the same that was playing in 10x07 while Carol tortured the Whisperer? Coincedence??🤔

Evil Monopoly man seems like he enjoys playing games with his people.

If Connie looking in the mirror is not me everyday I wake-up😏

GUYS! There were medical scissors in the medicine cabinet. You know what this means??? Queen Beth is gonna rise from the dead and save Vonnie all while less half a brain. LOL.

whoever belongs to that eye in the hole needs to get checked for jaundice.

Ofc the pencil breaks when Connie TRULY needs it. Fate really has it in for her, screwing her over with one of her most trusted friends.

These Reapers have no idea do they about how to sneak up on a building without being seen. Maybe they need it to be night before their powers activate. Funny Leah is in charge when she's the least believable one there.

Daryl pretending to be a cat hiding behind a plant with that mailbox...no one can see you my friend. You're good.

Carver and Leah remind me of the evil version of Caryl and Daryl.

They obviously have something going on and/or had a thing in Daryl's abscence. All those "Always" remarks sound an awful lot like The Princess Bride's "As you wish".

Yup, Carver is uber jealous of Daryl. Leaver is setting sail ya'll.🚢

Carol strolling in to find Kelly stuck in the mud with her casual "need some help" is perfection. I actually lol'd.

AT is also SUCH and underrated and underutilized actress on this show, I need more Kelly on my screen because she needs to be protected like the sweet cinnamon role she is.

WTH is with this episode, they really out here trying to start a bunch of new ships or something? I'm down for Vonnie.

He's so into you, Connie. Who else is gonna keep talking to you knowing you can't hear them but needing to vocalize how much more important they see you to themselves.

Oh, come on...he's said her name in this ep more times than anyone has in the last season. He's trying to rival Daryl for saying Carol's name in s10.

So in case you're keeping track...we now have Vonnie and Leaver riding the crazy shipping seas.📃

Great... more posturing about who cares about Leah more.🤮 Carver you aren't getting it; Daryl's been phoning it in since Day 1, he's not a threat just wait it out and he'll audios up out of here to go find his fire queen back home.

Leah's even telling Daryl "stop pissing of my secret boyfriend okay?"

Note to everyone: a dancing phone line is the sign to run to the basement and not a sign of an overeager squirrel running across the line for his acorns.

So the jaundice family watched The Ring too many times and think this is how all the cool kids act in horror flicks. All they keep saying is 'hungry'; Connie, Virgil, someone get them a Mars bar and it'll be done.

A+ fight put up by Virgil. He's been taking some classes during the lockdowns to better himself.

The Reapers are HORRIBLE military folk. How do ya'll not see Maggie & co leaving when you have people on the perimeter for the sole purpose of finding runners?! Do not hire them. 1 star on Yelp.

Yup I'm all over Vonnie. That "together" stuff was by far the shippiest thing we've seen all season.

And their reunion hug through the walll .... guuurl.

walker guts trick again: the express version

why do I feel like they could do a mini spin off of just a little war going on between the walkers and those jaundice mo-fos? Then one of the walkers falls for a crawler girl but her family thinks he's from the wrong side of the yellow house and don't like how he thinks he's better because he's taller than all of them.

Kelly found Connie! So happy this storyline ended with the 2 people the arc was truly about; the 2 sisters finding each otherafter years of the show hating siblings.

Now can we finish with Carol's self-hatred stuff and let her heal? We know Daryl is gonna be finished with his "gotta save 'em all" issues soon so it would be fantastic if they could finally be on the same baggage free playing field. Just a thought Kang.

Overall I thought it was a good episode. Only a few things I would nitpick ie. limited Carol, cheesy music during some of the haunted house bits, and the reapers need to go back to basic training and learn some stuff and thangs.

Ofc the spoilers beforehand were blown way out of proportion though I'm not surprised. I didn't go in expecting to see what was foretold and thankfully the spirit Gods prevailed again in defeating the overreaction we go through EVERY episode.

[teamfreewill56-blog]

Ya’ll I am so pissed. Ufotable what the literal fuck is this bullshit you’ve shown us with this new episode?! Was Kyojuro just a cash grab for you while he was alive in Mugen Train?  Because you sure as hell treated him like one! First off, why the hell did we spend a minute and a fucking half at least of Muzan walking FROM THE FUCKING BOOKSTORE TO HIS HOUSE!? Did you really need to have the credits span out like that so badly? Isn’t that what your end credits are for???  You don’t think that we have more important things to be giving some time, ESPECIALLY IN THIS EPISODE!? This needed to be broken into more episodes but no, you crammed so much into this ONE episode because it was longer than the 24 minutes and now we have this.

Once we get to the Rengoku estate the entire thing is so rushed I got fucking whiplash and if I hadn’t read the manga before watching this I wouldn’t see Shinjuro and Senjuro as having any value to Tanjiro at all and even knowing that I’m sitting here wondering why the fuck ya’ll even bothered animating this except to check off a box saying you followed the manga. I feel bad for the voice actors in these scenes because they carry on three conversations in the span of like seven minutes with barely any time to fucking pause! 

And that’s my biggest issue. Tanjiro and Senjuro especially just lost someone incredibly important to them. They are mourning and reeling from Kyojuro's death but ya’ll are sitting here tapping your watch that we barely get time to register their feelings let alone FEEL ANYTHING FOR THEM. There are NO PAUSES to let the emotions sit and you CUT PANELS that would have allowed for that! So guess what, later when you refer back to the Rengoku family its going to feel hollow, annoying and confusing. And I’m so pissed because you started out great! Everything before Tanjiro arrives at the Rengoku estate and after he leaves the estate is fine but the entire segment of the Rengoku visit is essentially worthless. And I’m going to break it down because I am this pissed.

Let’s start with Tanjiro arriving at the Estate. He’s running after Kyojuro’s crow, doubles over in pain from his wound and then straightens to see Senjuro in front of the house, cool. You let him be in pain and not immediately realize he’s reached his destination. We do a nice pause after Tanjiro says his first message of “I’m here to give Kyojuro’s last words” and then we go off at neck break speed. Yes, Shinjuro appears in the very next panel after Senjuro trails off but Senjuro’s response to Tanjiro is spoken too quickly whereas in the manga there are dialogue pauses using “...” showing nervousness/concern. When Shinjuro appears and we get the close up of Tanjiro’s face THERE SHOULD NOT BE DIALOGUE HERE! You need just a second of no dialogue so that you can have the weight of Tanjiro being affected by what was just said! The dialogue should have been put in the next shot where it shows all three of them. When Shinjuro talks about Sun Breathing, AGAIN we should have a shot showing NO understandable dialogue! Tanjiro goes into his thoughts and can no longer hear what Shinjuro is yelling at him and ya’ll “adding” the scene of Tanjiro’s family looking at their records was unnecessary. Having Tanjiro just thinking the words while he’s being yelled at is way more effective because it keeps us in Tanjiro’s current emotional state of distress and confusion. Shinjuro should STILL BE YELLING AT HIM. We shouldn’t be getting this calm almost soothing image montage of flashbacks, Tanjiro’s mental images should be in absolute chaos here and going fast! But then you do the opposite when Shinjuro punches Tanjiro and falls back crying while thinking of Kyojuro. The images are going too fast. Honestly slowing down Senjuro yelling for Shinjuro to stop would have also been a good effect. But when Tanjiro flashes back to Kyojuro coming into his vision before the fight, and we show the image of Kyojuro holding Akaza in place we shouldn't have gotten such a fast zoom in and then zoom out, that should have been slowed down. You should have settled on that haunting picture longer and not zoomed out at all. Also the music in this whole scene is way too loud and powerful, for someone who is wallowing in his weakness, upset that he couldn’t save Kyojuro and now getting beat on, this music doesn’t fit Tanjiro’s feelings at all. It sounds like a freaking boss battle score. Its sounds like Tanjiro made this sudden huge important realization and he DIDN’T! He’s wallowing in his weakness and negative feelings regarding that! 

When Senjuro asks about Kyojuro’s last moments we shouldn't be seeing Shinjuro stumbling away! We should be seeing SENJURO, who is asking this VERY IMPORTANT EMOTIONAL QUESTION and THEN showing Shinjuro stumbling off but no, because for some reason you think its SO IMPORTANT that you show that. After Senjuro tells Tanjiro “Don’t worry about it, I’m sure my brother said that too, right?” We pause on Tanjiro’s face and completely take out the panel of Senjuro saying “I think I know those writings my father often looks at. I’ll get them, wait a moment.” and instead crammed it into one shot with other dialogue when it should have been two shots. This panel is important because one it shows Senjuro’s additional kindness, smiling as he is doing something for Tanjiro, and it allows that feeling Tanjiro is showing on his face to linger a bit and sink in as he sees and realizes how kind and sweet Senjuro is even when he is going through such horrible grief. And again, the music is too loud and grand here when we see what’s happened to the book, like you just had a villain do something hugely diabolical to intentionally thwart Tanjiro not only is that not the case but its so heavy-handed it ruins Tanjiro and Senjuro’s reaction because it overpowers their response. Senjuro talking about his “failure” to become Kyojuro’s Tsuguko is done well, but again, when Tanjiro tells Senjuro basically what Kyojuro said with the added “If anyone bad mouths you Senjuro I’ll headbutt them”. There’s not enough pause to let the humor sink in and instead you get bombarded by Senjuro and Tanjiro’s silly faces. When they are saying goodbye they literally JUST FINISHED SAYING GOODBYE and Senjuro goes “wait”. Wait?? There was no pause or movement to indicate you needed to say wait! However, overall this scene is well done, it is soft, quiet music and a very tender moment between Tanjiro and Senjuro, Tanjiro pushes the hand guard to Senjuro in a slow, impactful way and we give Senjuro the proper pauses when he insists. Senjuro’s face looks just like Kyojuro’s did when he told him to walk down the path he thought was right, and he in turn softly directs Tanjiro’s hands and holds them briefly the way that Kyojuro did for him. The interaction between Senjuro and Shinjuro once Tanjiro leaves is also good, but again, the music as Shinjuro grieves is too loud, overshadowing his emotional release, and they just have him silently shake when in the manga he was sobbing and making noise which is not only a vital part of his character development but makes more sense for the character who for the whole episode showed they aren’t shy about outbursts. They also didn’t add Nezuko’s little scratch as he’s walking back to the mansion which may be a nitpick but shows that Nezuko was initiating a response to Tanjiro and showing concern instead of him just talking to her. 

Everything else in the episode was really good. I like the small showcase of Nezuko and Tanjiro having picked up a fighting rhythm, the additions of Aoi and how kind, helpful and caring she is towards the boys which was a nice addition because as others have said it really made you be like “Tengen what the fuck” when he tries to kidnap her. I loved how they did the beginning of the episode, taking out the music as we see Tanjiro watching/reliving the fight so that we are really getting to experience it how he did, raw and anxious and that the conversation is muted between Kyojuro and Akaza because the fighting that led to Kyojuro’s death affected Tanjiro more in that aftermath than what was going on in the conversation since he’s now lost Kyojuro. I love how they did the special effects where even though we are showing Tanjiro it’s being treated like flashbacks. I loved the addition of Inosuke’s fire just dying and he is no longer burning up and just sags defeated and plants his swords in the ground. But for me all that really gets slapped in the face by the Rengoku family visit. And I’m sorry but seeing how that was supposed to be Tanjiro’s big emotional thing I am not happy how it was paced and it left me feeling really irritated and dis-satisfied. You literally had a paint by the numbers and you ruined it because of the pacing and the score you used. This is the one time in the entire series we get to see Tanjiro really grieve losing someone and go through that (because he didn't do it when his family died) and ya’ll basically were like “aww we’re tired of Rengoku” and fast forwarded. If you didn’t want to focus on it then you should have taken it out of the damn anime. 

[idontknowwhattodoherelmfao]

Deja Vu

Bakugo x fem!Black!reader

Word count; 9.06k

Character count; 40.93k

Genre: Smut

Warnings; AGED UP AU! Everyone is in their 3rd . NSFW, oral (Bakugo receiving), choking, hair-pulling, fingering, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (Don't worry, you're on the pill), aftercare, swearing, light degradation.

A/n; Hello, welcome to my first FINISHED fanfiction. I have a LOT of WIPs saved but I actually finished this one a while ago. I have been really insecure about my writing but after sharing me of it with my sister and my friend, they convinced me to at least try and share it with the people of tumblr. Also, I deeply apologize for any mistakes because most of my fanfiction is written really late at night when i simply cant sleep or a good idea pops in my head so I can barely see my keyboard and my brain is fuzzy. Well, I hope you enjoy and I encourage you to request suggest anything such as headcanons, scenarios or just anything really. Again I hope you enjoy babes.

You. step inside your classroom, ready to start your journey of being a hero. Yet, you're imediantly struck by chaos. "That is extremely disrespectful Bakugo!" "Shut up, you damn extra! Not this again!" "Woah! I'm getting serious deja vu! It's like 1st year all over again!" You just stare in silence. No one pays attention to you until one person looks at you, then another. Soon, everyone is staring at you. "It's chaotic in here, huh?" You chuckle nervously. "Yeah, but it's mostly this guy's fault." A yellow-haired boy points to someone sitting weirdly. "Yeah right! Shut up!" The ash-blonde-haired boy yells. After, his crimson eyes stare at you, piercing your soul. "Well, lookin' forward to this year." You laugh. A cotton-candy girl comes up to you and wraps an arm around your shoulder. "Yep! A lot of stuff happens, but it's really fun nonetheless!" She exlaims enthusiastically. "So, you're the new kid?" She points for your answer. "I'm (Y/n)! I look forward to this year with you." You wave to everyone. Suddenly, your smile falls and your face goes dead-serious. Everyone's expression melts into concern and nervousness. "Now, everyone tell me your names from seating order, from the back left corner to the front right corner!" You command. Surprisingly, everyone obey's, telling you their name. Well, except for 1 person. "I don't have to tell you shit." The same ash-blonde boy states. "I'm surprised everyone else did tell me. Haha! I was totally playing!" You laugh. You walk over to the boy. "Hey, you got spunk. What is your name?" You ask. Crimson eyes soften a little at the surprise, but they quickly turn cold again. "What are you, deaf? I said, I'm not speaking, extra." He huffs. A spiky red-haired boy puts a hand on your back. "He's Bakugo Katsuki. Don't mind him, he's a little hot-headed." He chuckles nervously. "Don't speak for me!" Bakugo yells. "I gotta say, your mom must be psycic or something. Your name totally matches your personality." You scoff. "You just got here. Enlighten me, what do you think my personality is?" He grins smugly. You scoff again, matching his grin. "Well, when you act like that, it's easy to tell, so don't get cocky. You're obviously really strong, which is why you have the right to brag and show off and all of that." You explain. "Are you insulting him or praising him?" Denki says. "Why can't it be both? Praise and respect for being like this, but at the same time, damn bro." you sit down in the nearest chair, which conveniently is your assigned seat. He scoffs and looks away. "What do you know." He mumbles. You cup your face in your hand to look at him. "Aw, don't get grumpy. I'll feel bad." You fake-whine. "I'm not grumpy! And even if I was, if that were to be enough to make you feel bad, maybe you shouldn't be a hero!" He yells. "Hm. You do know that I was joking right? Well, for the most part anyways. I would feel bad, but if this was a real life situation, trust me. I wouldn't feel nearly bad enough to disobey something for you. So don't worry, ya got nothin' to worry about." You pull your bottom eyelid down teasingly. "Shut the hell up." He grumbles. You comply, as the homeroom teacher comes into the class. You cross your legs into the chair, and you see Iida eyeing you from across the room. His eyes shift to beside you, where you see Bakugo doing the exact same thing. His eyes dart to you, as you quickly undo your feet and rest your head on your chair and let out a heavy sigh. "You do that too?" You look at him. "Copycat." He mutters. "Am not. I always sit like this." You whisper-yell. "Yeah right. You tryna be some kinda wannabe rebel or something?" He chuckles. "Rebel? Now, you just pulled that out your ass, didn't ya?" You ask. "No. You're clearly tryna be disrespectful. It's not a good look for you." He smirks. "Doin' this is disrespectful? Since when? It's always been cute to me." You huff. "Are you forein or something, or are you just a dumbass?" He turns his head to you. "Not exactly foreign, but I spent a generous amount of my life in America. I did this all the time there,

it's not counted as disrespectful, in fact people find it rather cute, so what's your excuse?" You put your hand down. He looks away from you. "Thought so, wannabe rebel." You chuckle. The rest of class is normal, and soon enough, the school lunch bell rings. "Hey, mr teach?" You raise your hand while everyone leaves. Well, except for Bakugo, Mina, Kirishima, and Denki because they were being disrespectful and talking during the lesson. You were wondering why Bakugo was caught and not you. For punishment, the disrespectful students had to pack up chairs and sweep the classroom. "Yes, (L/n)?" The teacher responds. "In a normal highschool, we're allowed to leave campus during lunch. Does that apply here?" You ask, looking around. "Yes, you're allowed to leave at any time as long as you fill out a leave campus paper. They're in the teacher's lounge." He points to the door "Go left, at the first turn, turn left, and 3rd door on your right." he explains. "I don't know if i'm leaving, I was just askin'." You say. "Hm, I dunno. Hm." You put a finger to your chin in thoght. "Hey! I'm heling you guys now!" You point to Bakugo, Mina, Denki, and Kirishima. They all give you s confused look. "What? Why would you wanna do this?" Kirishima asks. "Maybe she's a bit weird in the head. Hehe, our first crazy person. Just the icing on the cake, huh?" Denki jokes. "I'm not crazy, just bored." You pick up a broom. "Yeah, I think she's a bit crazy." Mina whispers. "Heard that."  You roll your eyes. "Why're you bein' so quiet, wannabe rebel?" You cock an eyebrow. "Don't call me that!" He yells while raising his fist. "You called me that first." you scoff. "Exactly my point. Who calls someone something they called them first?" He says. "Hm, maybe I can be a trendsetter." You give him a smug smile before sweeping some of the dirt on the floor. Suddenly, Bakugo starts yelling. "You idiots! You're doing this all wrong!" He screams.  He points to Denki. "Where the hell are you sweeping, the wall!?" He points to Kirishima "Stop staring into space!" He points to Mina. "And you're not doing anything! When was this a time for music!?" Mina was drumming her hands on a desk while humming. He pointed to you. "And you're-" He stops midsentence. You lean on your broom. "Go on, what am I doing?" Your face looks serious, but he can tell you're fighting your smile. The corners of your mouth twitch as his cheeks turn a very subtle pink, but you picked it up. "Mhm. too bad for you, I don't get caught lacking." You say sing-songy. "Y'know, if you're so serious about cleaning this place, why don't you do it?" Denki suggests. "Well, you're all punished, so I don't think ya'll can just leave." You laugh. "Maybe we can if someone takes over our spots. Ah? Ah?" Denki nudges your shoulder. "Maybe you're right.." Denki's eyes light up, and everyone looks to you. "It would be faster if you were gone, pea-brain." You sneer. "I mean, I'm happy you'd let me leave, but c'mon! Pea-brain?" You laugh, along with Mina and Kirishima. "How mean!" Kirishima says through fighting snickers. "Haha! It's totally true though!" Mina, on the other hand is guffawing and holding her sides. "Your grades are jsut as bad!" Bakugo yells. "Dang, am I just surrounded by idiots? Studying isn't really that hard." You shrug. "Oh please! How good are your grade!?" She points and huffs. "Me? Eh, not half bad if I do say so myself. Usually above average, but math and history is always a struggle. But at least I can manage to have an A average." You shrug. "A...average!?" Mina dramatically throws herself back. "Yeah. If you guys put some sort of effort into your grades, you'd be the same way." You explain. "Shut up, we need to get this done and over with, you trying to keep us here all day and night!?" Bakugo yells. "My thoughts exactly. Great minds think alike I guess." you roll your eyes and begin sweeping again, glaring at Denki and taking his broom. "Hey!" He says, at your snatch. "Honestly, at this point you're just stalling." "Do something useful for once." Bakugo adds. "Jeez, when did you

become so mean?" He walks away. "I became mean when someone pissed me off." You reply. "What did I do?" He raises his voice a little. "Not much, I don't even really know why I'm kinda pissed at you. Maybe it's your piss hair." Mina points and laughs again. "Everyone here is mean to me." He whines. "Let's hurry up and get this oevr with, I'm getting bored again." you start sweeping a bit faster. "If you're bored, why dont you just leave? No one's stopping you." Bakugo says. "Eh, I dunno, just don't wanna leave I guess." You shrug. "You'd really just rather just stay here and clean? You're pretty weird.." Mina groans. "Hey, you're witnessing a rare sight. I don't really get bored often." You chuckle, and sweep the dust and dirt into Bakugo's pile. "You've been silent, wannabe rebel." You tilt your head in front of his face. "I said stop calling me that, dumbass. You must be deaf." He says. "You got all this talk but you're not doing anything. Try insuliting me when you prove you can do something better than me." You spin around and continue sweeping. Mina and Kirishima are silent for a few minutes. "Hey, me and Kirishima are done, we're gonna dip." Mina finally speaks. Kirishima nods. "Ugh, can I go? (Y/n)'s not letting me do anything!" Denki groans. "Because you do it wrong." You explain. "Yeah, we're gonna head to the cafeteria before they're out of Onigiri!" Mina exclaims. "Hope we're not too late." Kirishima rubs his stomache. "Haha! Good luck with being stukck with Bakugo (Y/n)!" Denki waves his hand and they all run out the room. "God, what did thet even do? Wiped an already clean table?" You scoff, sweeping some more while spinning a little. "Why are you here?" Bakugo questions. "And you're gonna call me deaf? I said because I was bored." You laugh, the noise echoing throughout the classroom. "Now, hurry up, I wanna get out of here." You continue sweeping again, but he stands still. "What now? You forget how to sweep? Here, like this." You slowly sweep, while laughing to yourself again. "Shut the hell up. If you wanna get out of here, why don't you? You like me or something?" He gives you the slyest grin as you growl. "No one else here likes you, why should I?" You copy his grin. "We've all been together since first year, you just got here. What do you know?" His grin fades as he sweeps. "Hey, what's your quirk?" You ask. "Huh? What the hell for?" He yells. "I wanna spar with you!" You beam. "Yeah, OkAy." He says sarcastically as he scoffs. "Tell me your quirk first." He says while sweeping. "Hm." You ponder. "Do you not know what your quirk's name is or something?" Bakugo looks at you, and stops sweeping. "No. My quirk is enhancement. I was just thinking if I should tell you or not." You respond, sweeping yourself. "Enhancement" Bakugo wonders." "Yeah, you know, I can make something or someone really strong, blah blah blah. What's yours?" You ask. "Explosion." He grumbles. "Explosion? Now we gotta spar! I know you're strong, so c'mon!" You say, putting the broom down. "..Fine, but pick your broom up! We're not sparring here, and in case you didn't know, I'm still punished." Bakugo grumbles. "Fine, let's hurry this up then. I don't know how much time of lunch is there." You look at the clock. "Usually, there's about a 50 minute lunch break, we've been out for about 20 or maybe 25. 30 at most." You do the math in your head. "You could have just took the time lunch ends and subtracted it by the amount of time you've been wasting here, extra." Bakugo grumbles. "Well, even if it was 30, we'd still have 20 minutes to spar! That's more than enough time for me to beat you!" You say. "I'll kill you." He grumbles, sweeping a bit faster. You join him, and the room is spotless in no time. "Hurry up!" Bakugo yells at you. "Don't yell at me!" You yell back, jogging after him. You end up at some clearing. Bakugo is stretching his arms and cracking his neck. "1, don't set any tree's on fire. 2.." He gives you a glare. "Hope you have another uniform packed." He smiles to wide his gums are showing. You are in shock a little, but

you smile too. "And same to you." You crack your knuckles. "Actually?" you stop. "What." bakugo stops himself as well. "This time, let's not use our quirks." you say. "Why? You scared that mine is better?" He laughs. "No no, nothing like that. It would be better to spar to better our physical skills first, then we can add quirks later." You say. "Alright, let's just get this over with." He rolls his neck. You both come at eachother at the same time, throwing punches, kicks, and blocking for what seems like forever. You see his hand start glowing, signaling he's about to make an explosion. Most likely to propel himelsef towards you, but still. You grab his wrist and hold it up. "Ah! I said no quirks and you agreed." you point to his hand, as the glow fades. Deku comes up to us, a bit shocked at the scene. "Uhm, lunch is over." He nervously says. Bakugo snatches his wrist back from you, and walks away, sucking his teeth. "This isn't over." He brushes past Deku, who immediantly turns back to you. "Hey, were you fighting?" The green-haired boy rushes over. "Yeah, we were." you shrug. "Are you hurt?" He asks. "Why aren't you asking Bakugo this stuff?" You ask. "He was bullying you, right? I can't believe you stepped up to him though-" Your erupting laughter interrupts him. "A-are you okay!?" He waves his hands. "Oh my god! You thought he was bullying me? I came up with the idea of sparring!" You gasp for air. "You were just sparring?" Deku asks for clarification. "Yeah, didn't you notice he wasn't using his quirk? Well, until the very end, but I stopped him." You catch your breath. "O-oh. i'm sorry I misunderstood." You slap him on the back. "It's all good, it's not your fault Bakugo just gives off that vibe! Welp! Time for class, right?" You begin marching towards the forest, Deku nodding and following suit. While you're walking to class, you replay the sparring match in your head. Your brain stops at one scene, when you grabbed his wrist. You didn't see it before, but now that it's replaying, you see his eyes in your small vision. They were softened, but hostile. You giggle at the thought, to which Deku notices. "What are you laughing about?" He asks. "Just how you thought Bakugo was bullying me." You run in front of him, hoping to catch up to Bakugo. "Hey, Bakugo!" You yell for him, he stops and turns around. "What?" He grumps. "When are we gonna spar next? You said it wasn't over." you explain. "After school, what'd you think I meant, dumbass." Bakugo says. "I thought you meant the same time tomarrow or something, don't get your panties in a bunch." You playfully push him. "Should we reschedule that sparring match to right now?" Bakugo growls. "I dunno, I feel up to another round. This time I'm gonna kick your ass." You smirk. "I'll win in a second. Because next time we spar, we're doing quirks and all." He scoffs. "Now now, didn't you hear the phrase the cockiness killed the cat?" You tease. "I'm not cocky, I just know I'm gonna win." He shrugs. "Mhm, I admire the confidence, but it's just gonna be hilarious when I beat you at this point." You snicker at the thought of his face. "Well, get that thought out of your head because it's not happening." Bakugo lightly smacks the back of your head. "Yes it is! But just because you think you're gonna win, don't try to go light on me!" You point at him. He swats your hand away. "Calm down, I wouldn't dream of it. What made you think I would?" He asks. "You seem like those type of people that would 'pkay with their food' when their prey is especially weak." You say. "Well, that's just inefficient. I'm pretty sure we're late, so hurry your ass up!" He yells as he walks faster. "I could use my quirk and we'd be there in a second." You suggest. "What's your stupid quirk gonna do?" He asks. "Enhancement. I could enhance our legs to make us walk or run faster. But, you'd probably crash into a wall at the sudden change of speed. But I could totally carry you!" You beam. "I'm not getting carried." He walks up the stairs. "Would you rather me drag you by the shirt?" You suggest

jokingly. "No, I'm walking myself. I don't need your help to walk to my damn classroom." He says. "Fine, then I will too. It'll look like i'm showing off if i use my quirk without you." You huff. "DO you see anyone here? No one gives a shit if your showing off." Bakugo says. "Well, I'm not budging, but let's hurry up." You say. "Don't tell me what to do!" He yells after you. When you enter class, surprisingly enough, the teacher's not there. "Lucky ducks! Where were you?" Mina says. "WEre you really sweeping all lunch?" Denki asks afterwards. "We w-" "Well anyways!" Mina interrupts. "I'm totally having a party at Yamomo's! I just need a theme or kind of party. Should it be a rave, or maybe a dance battle!" Mina beams. "How're you gonna throw a party if you don't know what it's gonna be?" You ask. "Well, I don't even know if I'm gonna have it at Yamomo's, but most likely, I will. Maybe I can find an abandoned warehouse instead!" She beams. "Maybe we could have some kind of boxing match like how (y/n) and Bakugo were sparring!" Ochako suggests. "No way, Bakugo would beat everyone in a heartbeat, so there'd be no surprise." Denki objects. "Why don't we have some sort of nightclub vibe?" You suggest. "That's perfect! A nightclub! Purple lights, a dj, it'll be PERFECT! You're a GENIUS (y/n)!" Mina swings her arms around you and squeals. "It just came to mind when I thought of a party." You explain. "Okay! I have everything under control! I'll text you the place and time! I'll set up everything!" Mina shreiks. "You sure you can set up a party by yourself?" Kirishima asks. "I got connections. Leave it to me!" She shows a thumbs up. "Hey (Y/n)! I never got your number. Wouldn't want you not coming." She gives you her phone and you type your number in. She texts you a thumbs up for comfirmation. "Okay class, settle down." The math teacher walks in. "Took him long enough" you mutter. The school day goes by easily, and before you know it, the end of the day bell is sounding. "Hey, Bakugo. Are we really gonna spar now? What if we get the text for Mina's party in the middle of it?" You ask. "Knowing her, it probably won't be till late, to 'set the mood'." He turns off his phone and shoves it in his pocket. "We got time." He walks in front of you down the stairs. "Well, okay. The dorms are this way, right?" You point to a nearvy building. "Yeah, but why're you going there?" Bakugo asks.  "This is my chance to change into more comfortable clothes for better mobility. Also, my only spare uniform might not be able to fit me after the party." You joke.  "You should take this oppertunity too." You suggest as you walk in. After you change, you walk back out, Bakugo's leaning on the side of the building. "Geez, what took you so long?" Bakugo groans. "You just change fast." You stick your tongue out. "And you did your hair?" He scoffs. "Yeah? You didn't?" You say sarcastically. "No winder you took so long, it's like you planned this outfit." He sucks his teeth. "Are you gonna stop staring at my clothes and fight me or what?" You crack your knuckles once more. "Quirks this time, remember?" Bakugo clarifies. "Hell yeah. Wanna time your loss?" You laugh. "Shut up." He grumbles. Suddenly, he's infront of you, his hand glowing. You block, and stumble back a little. "Geez, that was dirty!" You say. "All's fair in fighting and fighting." He chuckles. "Ugh." You groan, as you speed towards him, throwing an enhanced punch at his blocked face. The fight continues on forever, taking small water breaks and continuing. Bakugo is appalled at your raw strength, only helped with your enhancement quirk.  You chug your water, noticing his mixed expression of shock, and exhaust. "What time is it?" You check your phone, the time being 10 o'clock. "Damn, we've been sparring for 5 hours? No wonder my muscles are so sore." You stretch your arms a little. Suddenly, yours and Bakugo's phones go off at the same time. "Seems like Mina's got the time and place. I didn't think she was gonna go through with it." You say. "Well, that's that extra for you." Bakugo shoves

his phone in his pocket. "The party is in 2 hours, and you take forever to change apparently so I suggest you get started now." He growls. "What about..? Fine." You give up. Mina and Momo arrive at your dorm. "OH. My. GOD!" Mina squeals. "What is it? And aren't you supposed to be at the party?" You ask. "I went shopping with Yamomo for...your dress~!" Mina says sing-songy. "She picked it out." Momo hands you the dress, covered in a bag. "Uh, you didn't have to do this." You scratch the back of your head. "You're the new kid, so we wanted to help you get ready!" Mina beams. "Go on, try it on! I think it'll look great on you now that I'm getting a good look of you." Momo says, a finger to her chin. "Fine. Come in, sorry it's a bit messy." You say, walking towards your bathroom. "Don't forget to take a shower, you smell sweaty!" Mina teases. "And how do you call this dirty? One outfit is on the floor?" Mina picks it up and puts it in the hamper. You feel like a completely new person in the shower, washing away your sweat, filth, and problems. You also wash your hair, remembering you forgot to do it last week. You get out and reveal the dress, your eyes widening at the red beauty. You try it on and look in the mirror. "Uhm," You call out to Mina and Momo. "Is this really what you're supposed to wear to a nightclub?" You ask, steppinf out of the bathroom. Mina and Momo gasp at your appearance in the dress. "Oh my god! Yes!" Mina rushes over, examinging you from every angle. "Is that the answer to my question? Aren't you supposed to dance at a nightclub?" You ask. "Yeah. You aren't just wearing the dress. Don't worry, you'll be able to dance the night away." Mina reassures you. "You sure? It's a bit tight." You tug at it around your thighs. "It's not tight, it's just...y'know, like a pencil skirt. it's just fitting." Mina explains. "I don't think pencil skirts are made for dancing." You laugh. "Well, I'm probably not gonna dance anyways. And if i did, I'm probably not gonna be breakdancing or anything, huh?" You chuckle. "That's the spirit." Mina gives you a thumbs up. "So, you said this wasn't the full outfit?" You sheepishly grin. "Yep! Don't worry, babe, just leave it to us." Mina smiles greatly and Momo gives a warm small smile. "Alright, but if you're gonna do my hair, be gentle." You tangle your fingers in your black sea of curls. "Don't worry, my head is sensitive too." She scratches her hair. Soon enough, you look like you had a full glow-up. Mina and Momo snapping pictures to put on their story, also taking photo's of eachother and themselves. "The party's at midnight, right?" You check your phone again. "Yeah, it's friday night so we don't have to worry about waking up early for school!" Mina says enthusiastically. "And since it's at one of my guest houses, we can even have a sleepover." Momo suggests. "C'mon, we wouldn't wanna be late." Mina says. "What are we even celebrating?" You ask. "Nothing. Sometimes, a party celebrating nothing is just what you need!" Mina says. "I...guess that makes sense..?" You laugh. You get in Momo's convertible, vibing as you pass the aux around. It feels like you've been in the car for such a short time, as you pull up to her guest house's driveway. You swear you can hear the music booming from where you were standing. You walk in, and are greeted with booming music, bright and dim lights, and decorations everywhere. "Tada!" Mina squeals. "How'd you do all this?" You gasp in awe. "I knew a guy." She says proudly. We hear another car pull up, and we greet the people coming one by one. "Wow, this party is amazing!" Kirishima looks around, getting lost in the crowd. At this point, people you didn't even know were arriving. You assumed Mina and  Momo's friends, and people the other classmates invited. Bakugo comes in and eyes you up and down. "Hm, I thought you wouldn't be here for another hour, slowpoke." He smirks. "Maybe you should higher your expectations then." You flash him a fake-mean look as you both walk to a wall. "Ha, just 2 hours ago we were fighting behind the dorms, and

now we're at a party." You laugh at the randomness. "I am actually surprised you were here before me though." He says with a phony shocked expression. You shove him playfully. "Well, guess I have Mina and Momo to thank for beating you. Maybe I should dedicate my trophy to them." You teasingly ponder aloud. His expression changed to a mix of irritation and laughter. Mina suddenly drags you away, to dance with her in the middle of the floor. At first you were embarrassed, but once you were feeling the beat, you forgot all about the people eyeing you and cheering you on. You were having a total blast, singing and dancing to the busting music. She said she mixed hers and Jirous playlist together, and you compliment their taste in music, and you and Mina begin dancing together. You and Mina stop, panting and laughing as she compliments your dancing skills. "I'm gonna get a drink." You point to the food and bevarages table and she nods. You walk through the crowd, hearing some cheers and compliments towards you, even some whistles. You drink some water, and lean on the wall watching as Mina continues dancing with Ochaco. Suddenly, you feel a yank and you're dragged away, and into a room. You hear the door slam as you're met with your back on a wall. You grunt on impact. Everything happened in a blur, so when you can focus your eyes again, You look around for a split second, realizing you're in some kind of office. But, you're met with fires of red. "Why the hell are you wearing that?" A booming familiar voice rings through your eardrums. "Bakugo? What do you mean?" You say, stunned that the words actually came out of your mouth. "I'll repeat myself just this once; Why the hell are you wearing that?" He says. You're absolutely shocked. "Well, you didn't seem to have a problem with it when you first saw me with it!" You say. "Well, that was before you decided to give everyone here a fucking 'show'!" His grip gets a little tighter on your shoulders. What? What did he mean by show? You weren't even paying attention to yourself or anyone else while you were dancing, did you really..? "W-well, even if I did, what's that got to do with you?" You recollect yourself. His grip on your shoulders tighten even more, making you groan a little. "If you were gonna do that, why the hell would you wear this?" He looks you up and down again. "I don't even know what I did, and it's not like I plan my dance moves!" Your voice raises a little. "You don't even know what you just did in front of everyone?" He looks shocked, not even the sightest bit irritated anymore. His grip seems to loosen and tighten at the same time. You get a little anxious, as he comes a little closer. "What do you see in your head when I say the word 'show' in the same context I just did?" He says. You gulp as you imagine it. "Yep, you just did that, in front of the whole class, plus others. It's pretty rich that you didn't even realize it though." Bakugo chuckles a little, but it quickly fades. "T-that's impossible, my body..can't do that." You try to huff, but you're too nervous to do a solid one. "How humble." He loosens his grip and backs away, making you breath deeper. But suddenly, one of his hands grabs your right thigh as he brings it up to his waist, and snakes his other hand onto your back, right above your butt. You're now pinned on the wall. "But you and I both at least have some idea of what this body of yours is capable of." He growls, his face just whispers away from yours. You take another deep breath, but it's more of a gasp. You lean your head up onto the wall, taking a deep gulp. Bakugo watches as the little bubble trails down your throat. "Well, if you really don't know.." He licks his lips as he watches another bubble travel downwards. "Want to find out?" He catches the third bubble, licking it. You snap your head in surprise as he gives you a teasing smirk. His left arm snakes down further, grabbing your ass as his right moves your thigh higher. Your head is spiraling, and you open your mouth to speak, but you're interrupted by an intruder of the

mouth. You couldn't help the moan from escaping as he tastes you, licking his lips afterward. Your lidded eyes meet his, but they quickly move down to his mouth, and then to his eyes again. "I'm just glad you aren't wearing lip gloss or lipstick." He mumbles, before giving you another tongue kiss. You wrap your left leg around his waist, as his right knee bends to touch you. He can feel your folds clench at his touch, which forces the smallest gasp from you. "If you only did that show for me, I wouldn't be pissed at you." He furrows his brows at you. "Why?" You manage to say. "You're that dense, huh? Maybe words won't go through your brain." His right hand leaves your thigh, and grabs some of your hair behind your head. His eyes flicker from your eyes to your mouth, open from your decreshending breaths. "So maybe this will." He licks the opening of your mouth, his tongue sliding in before turning it into a kiss. His mouth leaves yours just barely, before both of your tongues stick out, crashing onto eachother like waves, as your lips connect once again. These kisses were different, more passionate, including the unique sound they made compared to the others. When your lips disconnect as a finale, he unwraps your leg from his waist and lets go of your butt. His lidded eyes give you a (Not a command, but not a wish either, I couldn't find a word for it lmao.) as he sits down in the nearest chair, his right hand now cupping his face as he waits for you. You get a little shaky, but you oblige, moving towards him. You lower to your knees as he watches your thighs get thicker from the press of your lower legs. You move towards him more, as your hands go onto his knees. You erotically slide your hands up his thighs, as if you really were giving him a show on his own. Two index fingers dance towards the center of his pants, where a mountain stands. Bakugo lightly groans as he feels his pants getting more confined. Your hands lightly struggle at the tight button, but you manage to quickly undo it. Bakugo's large dick springs up at attention, precum almost dripping. You lean over it, and a few hairs cloud your vision. You tuck them behind you ear as you notice Bakugo's facial expression, seemingly annoyed. You put him to your mouth as you rub his tip with your index finger. He nods with a small groan, and you give his dick a small lick. You lick all of the sides at least once before sliding his dick into your mouth. You flatten your tongue as you fit more of his cock into your mouth, spilling a louder groan from Bakugo. Alas, your curls kept moving. They didn't exactly pose a problem to you, but the thick fingers that carded through your hair said otherwise. You stop to look at him. "Just wanted a view." His smirk grows. You continued, but using your tongue as it swirls around his tip. Bakugo's large hand clenched a handful of your hair, forcing you to take his dick. You moan at the slight pain and force. You rise your head to his tip, before stopping. His facial expression changes to confusion, which you take as your cue. You swiftly take as much of his dick as you can, and hold your head there. The shock forces a loud erotic moan from Bakugo, followed by curses, and his thick cum flowing into your mouth and onto your face, satisfying you.  Bakugo's covering his red face with his huge hand, panting along with you. "I...didn't expect that." Bakugo pants. "I...hah...said to...higher your expectations of me..didn't I?" You wipe your chin and lick your lips. "God, I should just face-fuck you right now." He exhales deeply, catching his breath. "Then why don't you?"  You ask. "Because as much as I'd love to shove this cock down your little throat, I also want to make you feel good." He uses a finger to lift up your chin, and close your mouth. You both stand up, and Bakugo lightly pushes you onto a table and stands over you, both of his arms by your sides, pinning you there. "I bet while you were giving your show out there, all the guys- hell, maybe even some of the girls- wanted to rip this dress off of you." Bakugo chuckles to

himself. "You said that your body couldn't do a show like that. Remember what I said? If you didn't know, wanna find out?" He recaps, and you nod. "Well? What's your answer to that?" He asks genuinly. You chuckle. "You're really gonna wait until you got your dick wet to ask me that? Psh, and you called me dense." Your chuckle erupts to a laugh. Bakugo clenches your hair again. "Just answer the damn question." He growls. "Yeah, I wanna find out." You reply confidently. He gives you a slightly surprised and confused look, to which you answer by swiping 2 fingers along his member. He lightly grabs your neck, forcing your head down onto the desk. A noise you didn't know you had in you echoes throughout the room. Even Bakugo's shocked by it, and he's the one who forced it out. But he quickly catches on. "Ah, somebody's got a little kink, huh?" His hand grabs your hair again roughly, a similar moan coming out as he lifts your head up and moves his mouth towards your ear. "You like to be fucked niiice and rough, don't you?" The low rumble in his voice makes you shiver. "You like to be teased, even though you act like you don't, huh?" He sneaks a touch at your folds through your panties. You lightly moan at the sudden act as your head moves upwards and your thighs clench together, as Bakugo's hand barely escapes your thighs crashing together. "You like...the pain with the pleasure, don't you?" He bites your ear before licking and peppering kisses onto it. Your breaths grow heavier as your body heats up. He continues with the teasing, forcing your legs open, putting his knee between your legs and carressing your inner thigh, and pressing onto your clit as he nibbles on your ear some more. He slips off shoes, then your pantyhose, and then your panties as his teases get harsher. Suddenly, two thick fingers of his slip between your velvety folds. You moan as your walls try to fend off the intruder, as he steadily pumps his fingers into you with rhythm. "God, you're so tight." He groans, as his dick twitches. Your breaths are still heavy, but more apparent. "Oh, god, fuck." Your head is thrown back onto the desk. Bakugo's firey eyes burn into yours. "This feels nice, doesn't it?" He says. You let out a whiny "Mhm." To which Bakugo chuckles. "It feels nice, sure, but I want to make you feel good, no, amazing, the best you've ever felt." His slides turn into thrusts as his fingers quicken their pace. "F-fuck." You moan grows long. You couldn't help but roll your hips and grab one of your breasts, trying to rush your release. "Ke-hah-ep going." You're barely able to keep those words together. "Now, don't rush yourself. I was gonna be the one to make you feel good." He hits just below the spot you've been longing for, and you can feel yourself coming close, just a little bit more. If that wasn't enough, he curls the tips of his fingers to hit your sweet spot, right on the money, and he can tell too, noticing how your body quivers and your eyes closed tightly. Suddenly, his fingers exit your folds. You give him a confused look, panted breaths taking over your words. "Sorry princess, but when you cum, I'm gonna be inside you." You watch as Bakugo seperates his fingers, watching as your slick webs between them. "Didn't think you could be this wet." Bakugo chuckles. Suddenly, he puts the two fingers in his mouth, licking your slick off. When his fingers leave his mouth, a string of slick falls from his mouth as well. You swallow at the sight. He gets up and grasps your neck, forcing your head down again, making the same noise, but slightly more lewd from the teasing. "Haha, you slut." He chuckles while exhaling deeply. He runs his hands down your frame, admiring your curves. He pumps himself a few times, reminding himself of how you just treated his dick. He grabs your thigh, observing how your flesh molded into his hand. He's moves his hand, but you catch his wrist. "Wait." You say, sitting up. He backs away with a confused look, and you stand up from the table. You stretch your arms a bit, but you suddenly push him, your enhancing quirk

making it powerful enough to crash him onto a couch. "Wha-" He has no time to react as he watches you push him again to lay him parrallel to the couch. He wasn't expecting this, and he couldn't deny the facts, it made his dick that much harder. It twitched at your boldness. You straddle him, lining his cock to your throbbing and oversensitive pussy. "Being bold, huh (Y/n)?" His confused open mouth grew into a smirk. "Mhm. Watch just how bold I can be.." you moan as his tip enters you, taking a bit before you bottom yourself out, your pussy swallowing him whole. Long moans exit both of your mouths, as you put your arms behind your back to support yourself as you slowly roll your hips, giving Bakugo a good view of you gushing onto his dick. "Fuck, you're even wetter and tighter than before." Bakugo says through groans and gritted teeth. You laugh breathily as you roll your hips rhythymically, beign engulfed in ecstacy. Suddenly, Bakugo's hand grasps your neck as he forces you down onto the couch, him now towering over you, his cock twitching inside of you. "B-bakugo." You moan. "You really are bold. But you're doing the opposite of what I said you'd do. Remember?" His grip tightens onto your neck, as you nod profusely. "Also, drop the last name. It's Katsuki. Got that?" He chuckles. "Katsuki." You repeat, thinking it sounds familiar. He sucks his teeth. "You're begging with your eyes, you slut." He begins thrusting into you, lifting one of your thighs with his free hand to drill deeper. His thrusts grew quick and harder quickly as he pounds into you, a gasp or moan coming out of you with each individual thrust. His hand around your neck just added to the pain and pleasure you felt. "K-katsuki!" You have a shaky smile with tears in your eyes. "What's wrong-fuck- too rough?" He tries to hide his pleasure as well, but it's getting harder for him as his dick slides perfectly, your walls adjusted to him instantly, as if it was waiting for his cock only. "Damn, it's like you were -shit- made for me." Expletives interrupt his sentences as he stops trying to hide his pleasure as his hips meet yours. His smile is the widest you've ever seen, showing his gums. He moves your other thigh up, allowing him to go even deeper. "K-katsuki..fuck!" Your moans seem to get breathier and a bit more highpitched. "Don't worry, I know where to go." He assures you, as he flawlessly hits your sweet spot, just like with his magical fingers. "Yes! Right there, fuuuck~!" You put your hands on his arm as his grip gets even tighter onto your neck, and as he ruthelessly abuses that spot, rubbing on it fast. Your eyes begin to roll to the back of your head as his pace gets even quicker. "Keep going, Katsuki, so close, so fucking close just keep going!" Your fingers don't know what to do as you try to grip the couch, your hair, but they stay at his shoulders, your fingernails digging into his skin only makes him pound harder. "Go ahead, cum on this dick, (Y/n)." He grunts loudly, feeling himself become undone as well. "It's...too good." All you can see is white as you reach your high, your back arching, your eyes completely into the back of your head, and your insides being painted white. His long erotic moan matched yours, as you panted and came down from your peaks simultaniously. While you were seeing white, however, you were getting visions, memories of stuff you didn't remember. It was you and Katsuki, as children, playing together, him coming to your house with his mom when you were little, and you playing competitive sports outside as your moms talked. You remembered everything from when you were little, and started questioning how you could forget. You also saw something else, you going away, when you moved to America. When you said goodbye to Katsuki, and shared a hug, that no one else was gonna get. "K-katsuki.." you pant, giving him a nostalgic look. "So, you've remembered." He chuckles through panted breaths. "Took ya long enough." He says. "Huh?" You give a confused look. "I wouldn't have sex with someone I just met hours ago. And knowing

you, you wouldn't either." He moves from on top of you, sitting down next to you. It sparked a question in your mind. Why did you have sex with him, if you didn't remember him? Maybe it was your subconcious that knew him. You yawn, now completely down from your high. "I gotta say, it was fun getting to know you all over again and play along." Katsuki laughs. "And your quirk improved dramatically. Remember when we were little, when my explosions were really small,  and you used to enhance my quirk to make explosions like I do now?" He recalls. "Yeah, I was probably the only one who you've ever complimented before." You lay your head on his lap. "Damn, you really spent me." You yawn as he takes his phone out, "Hell yeah I did." He sucks his teeth as he begins texting someone. "Who're you texting?" You say. "Just go to sleep, I'm texting Mina, the pink-haired chick you were twerking with in front of everyone." He says, his face going back to annoyed. "Geez man, I didn't know." You suck your teeth yourself. "Well, I got to fuck you, so I guess I can't stay mad." He shuts off his phone and pets your head. "We gotta get cleaned up, I'm not sleeping like this." He grumbles. "Sleep? Who said anything about that?" You tilt your head. "The way I did you tonight? Yeah, you're not gonna be able to go home." Bakugo laughs "What did you think I texted Mina about? I told her to send everyone home and that we're spending the night." He says. "Wouldn't you text Momo about-" You're interrupted by his phone chiming. He checks it and begins laughing. "Phaha! Guess what? We weren't the only ones fucking." He shows you his phone, and you see what he texted Mina first. "Why'd you just flat out tell her we had sex!?" You say, scrolling down to read he reply. "Psh, Todoroki and Momo? Even Deku and Ochaco?!" You laugh. "Yeah, I thought Deku would remain a virgin his whole life. Crazy, huh?" He chuckles. "Also, Mina been knew we woulda fucked. Look." He shows you another message. "Soooo tonights the night, huh😏? Use protection⛑️! Or don't, but no kids😤!" The message reads. You roll your eyes. "So everyone knew that we had history together but me, right?" You groan. "Pretty much." He laughs again. Suddenly, his phone chimes again. "OK, the guests r gone, all of the wasted temporary residents r all 🛀 ☝️ and 😴, ur turn. the 🛀 is nice and 🏃! i also brought a stretcher for (y/n) because i know she'll need it lmfaoo🚶" it reads. "Translation; the party people are gone, everyone else who fucked is washed up and asleep, so we can take our time." Bakugo sighs. "That extra does the damn most." He facepalms. "Wow, how reliable. But shouldn't we be asking Momo for permission to sleep here?" You ask, and your answer comes with another chime of his phone, the new message reading "i already asked and yamomo understood completely so the house is all urs 4 2nite. yw i know im the best😌" "Geez, she couldn't stand to use grammar every once in a while?" You laugh and roll your eyes. "C'mon." He stands up. You move to get up, but he ends up picking you up. "Wha-? Hey! Put me down!" You lightly hit his back. "Don't bother, you can't walk." He says. "Who says?" you grunt. "Fine, try." He puts you down on your feet gently, but you immediantly crash dwon onto your butt, which is also feeing sore from his tight ass-grabbing. He chuckles. "How come it took me to try standing up for my legs to start feeling sore?" You groan. "Told ya. It's not my fault you like it rough." He teases as he picks you up and slings you over his  shoulder. This time you don't fight, just making a pouty face and groaning from embarrassment and your sore legs. You lock eye contact as Mina patrols the main area. She uses body language to tell you she heard almost everything, and you shoot her a dirty look as she laughs and continues patrolling. You're surprised with a bath that's ready for you, courtesy of Mina. Maybe you can't stay too mad. He takes off your clothes and sets you in the bath, as you relax and rest your head on the could outer ring. Bakugo's eyes dart to your neck, dark

markings telling exactly where his hends went. It was like your own litte version of a hickey, which put a smile on his face. "Who knew you had a choking kink? that was a real surprise to me." He smiles meanly as you hide your face in embarrassment. "I didn't know." You groan in sheer embarrassment. "Relax, I won't be choking you gain anytime soon." He gumbles in slight annoyance. "But what if a villain does?" You ask. "Shit, I forgot about that. Haha! Just imagine that villains stupid face when you let out a moan because of him choking you." He chuckles. "Wouldn't you get jealous? Another man, maybe a woman, choking me?" You turn to face him. "Well, it's my job to beat their ass regardless so they're gonna end up dead anyways. 1, for being a villain, and 2, for putting their hands on my girl." He explains. You didn't need his hand, you almost choked on the word girl. "Yeah, I said it." He pours some shampoo in his hand, lathering them together and scrubbing your hair. "You gonna deny it?" He grumbles. "No, just didn't think you'd say it first." You admit. "Well, surprise surprise, I'm not the same kid I was back then." He sucks his teeth. "You kinda are. You always sucked your teeth like that and you have the samer personality if we're speaking vaguely." You explain. "Well, I changed a lot, idiot. What do you know?" He massages your head with his yet again, magical fingers. "I know that the only reason you're not yelling is because you're thinking of everyone sleeping. Funny, you weren't when you got a taste of me." You say matter-of-factly. "You always were a smartass. I don't even know why I ever liked you." He grumbles. "Yeah, that's probably gonna stay a mystery. I don't know why I like you either, you were always an annoyingly smart guy for yourself." You grumble as he rinses your hair and you wash yourself. Bakugo briefly leaves and comes back with an oversized t-shirt and underwear. You change into them while sitting on the toilet seat, and Bakugo's eyes widen a little as he comes to a realization. "Hey, that's my shirt! The bitch stole my shirt! How the hell'd she even get into my dorm!?" Bakugo yells. "I have my ways!" You can hear Mina call out to him. "God, she's lucky I'm tired." He groans as he scratches the back of his head. "And she's lucky that you look good in it." He smirks as he looks you up and down seductively. "What, round 2?" You ask. "No, I put all my energy into round 1." He sighs. "Good, so did I." You let out a big exhale. "Now your turn." You signal him to get in. "I'll wash myself, you're obviously in no condition to." Bakugo says. "I can." You huff. "Please, you'd have to crawl to get over here." He rolls his eyes. Your eyes drift to the sink as you see your favorite scent of lotion. You look to your knees, they were beginning to get ashy, so you grabbed the bottle and began applying it to your skin. Bakugo's watches as you massage your legs, like they weren't on fire now. He observed as your hands moved up and down your legs almost as a signal, and he actually started considering a round 2. He shook the thoughts out of his head as he washed himself quickly, and got out himself and changed. After brushing your teeth with the spare toothbrushes-Geez, Mina and Momo really thought of EVERYTHING, huh?- Bakugo carried you to your-of course she would- shared room. It wasn't until he was laying next to you, settling into bed, when the smell of your lotion hit him. Like a million bricks. He recognized it quickly, his favorite smell in the whole world. "Mmm." He hums as he brings you closer to him. "Is this..?" He asks. "It was just there. I know you like it," you said, teasing his nose with the smell. "Apple Spice." You say in unison. He hugs you, putting his nose in your shoulder as he inhales the smell deeply. "God, I haven't smelt this in so long. you used to wear it all the time when we were little." He sighs. "When I moved, I never stopped." You hug him back, snuggling into his chest. His breathing slowed, and you could tell he was about to fall asleep."(Y/n)...?" He sleepily says. His words

are slurred, and his eyes are closed. "Mm?" You hum, getting sleepy yourself. "I love you." He says, pulling you closer to him. The softest 'I love you' you've ever heard in your damn life. "I love you too." you replied softly. You thought that'd be the end, but Bakugo kept repeating it. "I love you so much, so fucking much, I love you." His repeats grew softer, as you repeated him the same amount of time he repeats himself. "So fucking much." are his last words before his breathing slows and silence follows you sigh of relief. "Finally, thought he'd never shut up." you laugh in your head, as you follow suit, saying a final 'I love you' be before drifting off to sleep in his arms.

Fin

[fandomficsnstuff]

Guardian Angel - Part 11

Daryl Dixon x Reader

(Warnings: Reunion!! And smut... and fluff… it’s a smutty, fluffy reunion!:D)

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You groaned as you accidentally stepped in some slippery mud, almost making you fall, your gaze moving down to your now destroyed boots, sighing annoyed “great, just perfect” you mumbled as you continued onward. The tire tracks led nowhere, and so far you hadn’t seen any sign of Daryl, but you stayed near the prison, circling around it in an attempt to find any trace of him, you refused to believe that Daryl actually left with Merle… he couldn’t... he wouldn’t, right? You had been looking for him for a week now.

Not long after the gas station you had gone further into the woods, finding an old hunting cabin that hadn’t been touched since before the world went to hell and back, hell even the roof was dusty, and surprisingly, no walkers inside, not even a corpse. In the cabin you found a hunting rifle, some ammo and a hunting knife. You stayed there for almost about six days, give or take, it was loaded with all kinds of supplies, untouched, you could hardly believe it, that

You sighed as you saw a marker you had set up, it let you know that you had gone a full circle around the prison, you weren’t close to it by any means, but you weren’t that far out, if you kept walking in a straight line from the prison, you’d reach your location in about two hours. You bit your lower lip in thought as you stared at the marker, you could turn back, go back to the cabin, rest a day or so, maybe even get to know the new hunting rifle a bit better. Making up your mind you turned around, walking back towards the cabin with determination, and in a day or so, you’d try to broaden your searching area.

You saw the cabin in the distance through the woods, a relieved smile on your lips as you made your way towards it. Daryl would have loved it, being secluded, surrounded by game, he would have absolutely loved it, maybe after you found him and got back to the prison, you could show him this place? It could be a small getaway for the two of you. If you ever found him, that is, said a nagging voice in the back of your mind, doubt starting to take over the small amount of joy that thought gave you, snuffing it out like a lit candle, surrounding you in darkness once again, reminding you that you were looking for a man who knew how to not leave tracks, who couldn’t be followed if he didn’t want to. And maybe he didn’t… maybe he would rather be off with his brother than with you, or with Rick… and Glenn… and Maggie and Beth and Carol and Carl and little Judith and-No, no you couldn’t think like that, not your Daryl, besides, he must have known you were going to go after him, perhaps he was just camping somewhere, with or without Merle, waiting for you to find him? But then again, Daryl was never the being-rescued kind, but maybe he was waiting for you, just maybe, a girl can dream, right?...

You sighed as you were almost near the door when you heard a branch snap, and in an instant you had your rifle out, pointing it towards the source of the noise, only to find someone making their way through the bushes, head down until he finally stepped into view. Your eyes grew wide, tears forming in them as you stared at the man you had been looking for, the rifle slowly lowering as he stared at you, a mix of emotions in his eyes, relief, sorrow, joy, anger? You couldn't decide which one was more prominent. As he slowly approached, you, for some reason, still held the rifle, frozen in place as you stared in disbelief at him.

“You gonna lower that or what?” he asked, half joking, half serious, an almost embarrassed look on his face, knowing you were only out here because of him, because he chose someone else over you, even though he regretted it. He were about halfway towards you when you practically threw the gun down, making him halt his movements, slight fear on his face as he saw you stomping your way over there and he half expected you to slap him, but when you pulled him in for a kiss he was more than happy to oblige, hands gripping your hips in a crushing way, but you didn’t mind, you loved it, even if left bruises. You moaned into the kiss and held onto him for dear life, one hand gripping his shirt in a death grip, a silent warning for him to NOT let go of you, and the other hand was buried in his hair as your tongues fought for dominance, and surprisingly, he let you take over, probably out of guilt.

“Damn, ya’ll swappin’ spit now too? Come on now (Y/N), you can do better than him, how ‘bout me?” you broke away from Daryl at the annoying raspy voice, Daryl about to tell him off when you approached him, and seeing as you walked towards him as you did with Daryl, he expected you to full on kiss him as well, but what he got instead was a fist to the face, and when he was down, you almost killed him, hunting knife at the ready as Daryl lifted you up in the air with no effort. “I’m going to kill you, you sad sack of shit!!” you spat as Daryl still held you up, your legs flailing about like a child not getting their way, and oddly enough, Daryl was smiling at you, Merle wiped his bloody nose, staring at you in disbelief, then laughed, which only pissed you off more. As you finally had seemed to calm down Daryl let your feet touch the ground, but he still held you back, watching with a smirk as your chest heaved, knife in hand and eyes glaring at Merle who just cackled amused “damn gurl, I always knew ya had a little fight in ya, but shit” Merle laughed and you almost flew at him, but once again, the party pooper Daryl stopped you, apparently he wasn't too keen on seeing his brother with countless stab wounds, how odd.

You scoffed as Merle pulled himself up, your eyes catching the make-shift weapon he had instead of a hand, and he smirked as he saw your eyes on it “oh yeah? Like this? Made it myself, that turns you on?” he asked creepily and you spat at his feet “only if you fell on it” you growled and glanced up at Daryl, taking his hand and leading him to the front door of the hunting cabin, grabbing your rifle and leading him inside, slamming the door on Merle as he tried to get in as well, only to walk straight into the now closed door. “Careful, don’t break it” you mumbled annoyed at Merle, who glared at you as he opened the door and went inside, your eyes going straight to him “no, you’re not allowed here, fuck off” you spat, pushing him towards the door, a very shocked Merle looking to his brother “ay! Control your bitch!” he spat, Daryl approaching Merle with a pissed off look “don’t ever call her that” Daryl growled, and you couldn’t help but feel proud as you had a shit-eating grin on your face, staring at Merle. Merle scoffed “alright, alright relax, didn’t know she was ya lady” Merle scoffed annoyed, moving around you and Daryl and all but sitting down on the old and dusty sofa, dust flying up around him, making him cough.

“Oh by the way, be careful on the couch, it’s a bit dusty” you yelled halfway down the hall to the bedroom, dragging Daryl with you after you threw your backpack and weapons in another room, which looked to be an old bathroom. Daryl barely had time to take in the small cabin before you all but pushed him into a room, slamming the door and smirking at him. “So, how long ago did you go back?” you asked as you took off the jacket you were wearing, throwing it on a chair as you moved in front of Daryl, gently pushing him so he sat down at the edge of the bed, you in front of him, in between his legs, his hands reaching for your hips out of instinct but you slapped them away, seeing him glare at you confused before relaxing again, “same day, realized I left someone behind that I couldn’t live without… looked for ya too, been out here every day, today Merle came with me, didn’t force him… I told him that I’d rather die than live without ya, I think he finally realized how much ya mean to me” he mumbled in a low voice, and if he was any other person, you’d ask him to speak up, but you didn’t, you knew he wasn’t always good with words, so in small moments like this, you let him be quiet, and you treasured them above all.

You kneeled down in front of him and gently cupped his cheek, his cheeks bright red, not being used to talking about such sensitive things, such as his love for you. You leaned up and gently kissed his lips, pulling away before he could kiss you back, which he wasn’t all that fond of. “Daryl… I’m so sorry…” you whispered and you heard him scoff “for what? Ya weren’t the one leavin’ with your asshole of a brother” he mumbled and you couldn’t help but chuckle a bit “true, so, how are you gonna make it up to me?” you asked in a teasing manner, expecting all sorts of things, but what you didn’t expect was for him to lift his wrist, showing you the bracelet you had made for him. Your eyes watered as you watched the bracelet on his arm, your hands coming up and gently touching it, fiddling with your initials gently before looking back at Daryl, a bright smile on your lips, leaning up and kissing him, feeling him kiss you back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~smut starts here~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As the kiss got heavier, you felt his hands cup your face, gently pulling you up from the floor as he got up as well, his hands gripping your hips tightly as you both stood up fully, his hands then moving around your body, feeling every inch until he got bored of the fabric that separated him from your skin. Daryl broke away from you to practically rip your shirt off, your bra following quickly as he leaned in to kiss you again, but you pulled his shirt over his head first, then allowed your lips to touch. You felt him wrap his arms around you, pressing your chest against his as he continued to kiss you, this time it was his tongue that fought and won dominance, not that you complained, not at all.

You moaned as he moved his lips down your throat, placing sloppy kissed along the skin, desperate and needy in nature, and you loved every single minute of it, except- “Daryl I’m really dirty and sweaty maybe I-” he cut you off by roughly groping your breasts, hearing him scoff “think I care? I love you, (Y/N), don’t give a shit ‘bout no dirt” he mumbled the last part and you felt tears form in your eyes again, a bright smile on your lips. “Is this a proposal?” you asked teasingly, hearing him scoff again as he moved his lips up to yours “shut up” he pressed his lips to yours, his hands hastily pushing your pants down as he turned the two of you around and all but pushed you onto the bed, hearing you giggle as you landed, a smirk on his hip as he practically ripped your jeans and underwear off in one quick motion after pulling off your boots and throwing them somewhere “besides,” he mumbled as he kneeled down in front of you, a smug look on his face “ain’t got a ring yet baby” he said before diving in between your legs, your eyes wide, about to say something when you felt his tongue on your clit.

You moaned loudly, not giving a single shit about Merle nearby as Daryl continued to stimulate your clit, occasionally leaving broad, long strokes with his tongue over your hole, it was enough to make your whole body shake. Daryl gently nipped at your clit with his teeth before moving away, giving a kiss to your inner thighs as he stood up, kicking off his shoes and unzipping his pants, his eyes on you the whole time. You watched him crawl over you on the bed, his lips brushing against yours in a way that felt so intimate, so sensual, it was enough to drive you crazy. You felt the tip of his cock gently teasing your entrance, and in the blink of an eye you wrapped your legs around him, hands coming up and gently cupping his face, waiting a second before leaning up and closing the distance, however small it may have been, that was between you.

You moaned into the kiss as he pushed into you, groaning as he pushed all the way in, breaking the kiss to not only breathe but let out a tiny moan, one that sent chills down your spine. “Damn girl, almost forgot how tight you are-” You cut him off by tightening your legs that were wrapped around your hips, a groan escaping his lips as he looked at you, seeing the smirk on your lips made him scoff “careful now, wouldn’t want to hurt ya” he teased and you chuckled “maybe I want you to” you teased back and in his eyes you saw something just *snap*. Without a second thought he leaned down and kissed you with desperation and need and he began to roughly thrust into you, his lips catching you moans, one of his hands gripping your hair tightly, another holding your hips down as he continued to practically drill into you, hearing you whimper and moan made him only go rougher, your eyes rolling to the back of your head at the pleasure. “Fuck, Daryl” you moaned into his lips, hearing him groan in response as he parted from you, eyes staring into yours, and despite the rough movements of his hips, his grip on your hip and your hair, it felt gentle, sensual and meaningful.

“Fuck Daryl I’m gonna cum” you whimpered, still holding eye contact as he continued to drill into you, that cord in your stomach that you missed whenever he wasn’t around, wasn’t inside of you, it began to tighten, so close to snapping, you just needed that little push, that tiny little-oh my god yes. Daryl’s hand that had previously been in your hair moved between your bodies, pressing on your clit as he moved his hand in rough, short circles, your eyes rolling to the back of your head and closing, Daryl’s lips meeting yours in a heated kiss as your coil snapped, waves of warmth and electricity rolled over you, your legs spasming and locking around his hips, forcing him in deeper, which in turn pushed him over the edge, his grip on your hip tightened and he continued his ministrations on your clit, pushing you through your high as you felt his cock pulse inside of you, his cum painting you from inside, and even after it was all over, even after you had gone through his high, he still continued to empty himself inside of you.

You gasped for breath as your lips finally parted, staring into his eyes with a love none of you had ever felt before, until now. You gently cupped his cheek and gave his lips a quick peck, your thumb stroking his cheek “don’t ever leave me again, deal?” you whispered, feeling him nod as he rested his head in the crook of your neck, your hands going to his hair, gently playing with it. You closed your eyes, thankful to feel his heart beat against yours in his chest, sighing heavily in a content manner, tightening your legs around him as your arms wrapped around him, almost like a hug, before letting go, feeling him pull out of you. You frowned at the empty feeling he left behind, and Daryl noticed, kissing your cheek in a small manner of comfort, which did help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~smut ends here~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You moved to get up when a hand on your stomach stopped you, you turned your head and saw Daryl on his back, eyes on his hand which rested above your stomach, and a frown formed on your face as you laid down again, feeling his thumb gently stroke your skin, as if absentmindedly, but you knew it wasn’t that, not with the way he stared at your stomach. Finally, his eyes reached yours, and he looked almost doubtful, scared even, his mouth opening as if he were about to say something, but decided against it. “Tell me” you said in a low voice and you heard him sigh, glancing away from you before facing you again “would it be… I mean-... what I said before-... what if… you, you know… what if I got a-... a ring?” he mumbled embarrassed, and your eyes grew a tad bit wider, but soon a smile formed on your lips “depends on what you intend to do with it” you half joked, seeing him scoff as he looked up at the dusty ceiling in thought, moving his hand up and biting the nail on his thumb, only to have you smacking his arm, making him stop “it’s a bad habit” you explained and he scoffed amused, resting the hand on his stomach as he looked back up at the ceiling, his other hand behind his head.

“Already sound like my old lady” he mumbled with a small smile and you smirked at him “so, what would you plan to do with that ring?” you asked as you moved to lay on your stomach besides him, still smirking at him. Daryl turned his head and looked at you, studying every single one of your features as if it would be the last time he ever saw you again if he were to speak his mind. “Give it to ya… I’d make it real pretty, take ya out somewhere… maybe get down on one knee…” he said in a low voice, almost hesitantly, but seeing how your grin grew he felt confidence fill him, watching the way you looked away, heat flooding your cheeks as you couldn’t stop grinning at the thought.

“Well, sounds like a good thing to do with that ring” you said after a while, looking back at him, holding eye contact before giggling and getting up, beginning to put your clothes back on “come on, I think I’ve worried Rick long enough” you joked, feeling him sit behind you and gently kiss your shoulder, and when you turned to look at him he kissed your lips, briefly, you barely had time to respond, as you had done to him before, you watched him get up and get dressed as well. You liked the idea of him making something really romantic… yeah, yeah, you could do that, you thought with a smile on your lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tags:

@graniairish

@jaycee374

[booksonablog]

Southern Temper

Request: can you do an imagine where sam Winchester is dating the reader and she is a hillbilly and she loses her temper while on a case with the boys

AN: This imagine was challenging for me tbh, I never wrote a “hillbilly” character so I did a small amount of research because I didn’t want it to come off offensive or just flat out bad. I also wrote her dialogue as a Southern accent, I swear I know how to spell 😂 

***

Imagine...

You were born and raised in the most southern “hillbilly” parts of Alabama, in fact, this is where Sam first met you many many years ago. Because of your background, the way you talked and your southern references, other hunters thought you were stupid, but you proved them wrong each and every time. Sam admired that about you, that's actually how you got together. He was charmed by your wit, your skills and your passion of having a good time. You showed him that there was always time for a moment to step back and appreciate the positive things in life, even on the occasion when he felt like there was nothing to be positive about (besides you of course.) The cool, positive demeanor was always something he could count on, for the most part. Your roots were always present, which is to say that when you were mad, oh boy were you mad.

On a particular occassion, the three hunters had just closed an ongoing case of demons creating havoc in a small town and for half of the ride home, the Winchesters were consistently bickering at each other. 

At this point, they were just spewing random jabs, but it had originated because Dean was upset with how Sam handled the situation, "nearly blowing the whole plan," according to Dean. You did your best to not get involved as you were way too tired, but you were starting to get a headache. The tip of your ears were now red with built up rage. You smacked your hands on the back of their seats, "STOP THE CAR!" Dean instinctively slammed on the breaks, the car screeched to a holt, fortunately you guys were the only ones on the road. The boys both turned their heads, Dean pulled the gear into park while Sam gave your body a once over, just to check that you were physically okay. 

"Aah caint take it anymore wit you two! Actin like a couple uh babies over a case that's awlready over! We've been drivin' for Lord knows how long and lemme tell you - it stops right here! Aah'm so fuckin' taard of tryna' ignore you two, and mah head hurts and aah swear if it doesn't stop hurtin' in the next 5 minutes, YOU TWO are gonna pay the price!" The boys exchanged sheepish glances at each other. "Now, when you put this car in drive, aah better not hear a flippin' peep outta neither one of you's. Got it." You demanded. 

The boys nodded their heads, mumbling apologies. Sure enough, the only voices heard in the car that night came from the radio.  

***

Now, at the bunker, after everyone had settled down and prepared for bed, the boys sat side by side in the room they deemed “the living room.” Dean was preparing his gun for the night while Sam crossed-off the case in his journal, all the while thinking about how upset you were earlier. 

“You gotta do better Sam.” Dean piped. 

Sam raised his brows, both startled and confused at his brother’s words. He turned his head towards him, “What are you talking about?”

“Y/N.” He shook his head with a smirk on his lips before whistling, “Whew, was she mad at you.” He chuckled.

“From what I remember, there were two people in the car she was pissed off at.”

“True - but that’s your girl.” He was now looking seriously at his younger brother. “When you piss your lady off, you gotta do whatever it takes to make up for it.”

Sam looked down with guilt.

“She’s your rock and I know you love her, treat her like you do.”

Sam looked up with a half guilty smirk of agreement. He still believed that it was Dean’s fault for causing the fight, but he was right about treating you better. Unbeknownst to Sam, you always felt that Sam treated you with love and respect in everything he said and did, but you weren’t one to complain if he wanted to sprinkle some more love and apologies your way.

With a nod and a pat on the shoulder, Sam left his brother to go apologize to his girl. 

***

You were standing before your bed, head turned, drying off your hair with a towel. A knock at your doorframe pulled your focus. 

“Can we talk?” Sam winced with puppy eyes, something you hated to see, always made you feel guilty.

You nodded, allowing him to step foot in your room, now inches from you.

“I’m really sorry about bickering with Dean in the car ride, I know it must’ve been awkward and uncomfortable, and I even brought some Tylenol for your headache, if it’s still bothering you -” He pulled the small bottle out from his pocket.

You couldn’t help but to smile, gently accepting the gesture and placing it on your bedside table. You then turned to face him with a smile.

“Fortunately for the two of you, it went away.” You said, gently placing your hands on his chest.

He smiled, grateful that your venom has subsided. “Good.” He leaned closer to you.

“But,” you warned, “Aah really hate it when ya’ll do stuff like that, it makes me so mad, aah don’t want to have to blow up at you two again.”

“It won’t happen again.” Sam assured, which only earned an eyebrow of disbelief from you. “Well, we’ll work on it.”

You let out a laugh, “That’s all aah need.” The two of you met each other’s lips, your hands lightly tugging at his front shirt pockets while his hands gently held your waist close. He was so grateful that you were tolerant of his faults, and while he’d never admit it, you kinda scared him. But he loved you nonetheless.