#i’m thinking a lot about how j forgot my glasses for wicked the show and

[shuckstruck]

last post istg i promise this isn’t made in a fit of self-pity i mean it for real these are my for real normal everyday thoughts on my Neurodevelopmental Disorder

I CANT ADD A READMORE ON MOBILE IM SORRY THIS APP SUCKS

anyways i’m happy for all of u who are comfortable with ur body and ur brains but christ alive i just want to rip my brain out of my skull and cut out all the adhd parts of it. i don’t want anything that comes with it i don’t care for any part of it it doesn’t improve me it makes me worse. i could be so successful and normal and motivated if i didn’t have adhd and instead i’m tired and lethargic and nothing i do is right and everybody blames me for it like i make life difficult for myself and everyone around me on purpose

[thisislizheather]

January Jewels 2020

I’ve purposely put off writing this monthly wrap-up because, well, christ. January was a terrible month. I don’t need to go into the details of why, but the consensus from everyone that I’ve talked to fully agrees with me on this. What the hell happened? Starting a new decade is supposed to be great. In any case, I’ll always have high hopes for the future. And I’m just thankful to begin a new month. Here’s what went down in the pit that was January 2020.

First things first, I recapped how my 2019 resolutions turned out. Why don’t more people do this? Where’s the accountability in reviewing your past resolutions? They’re not fucking birthday wishes, they’re intentions! More people need to follow through with this, even if the results aren’t what you hoped for.

I made my 2020 resolutions.

I fell absolutely in love with this sketch.

I did two podcasts with Nathan - one where we talked about the pope incident and one where I absolutely scream at him about Hillary.

I read Jenny Slate’s new book as well as a tiny little book about how to live a good life.

I ended up buying another J. Crew swimsuit (the same one I bought a few months ago, but this time in red) and I have no regrets.

In love with Trader Joe’s (dairy free) coconut whipped cream, I can’t stop using it in hot chocolate.

I rewatched (or watched for the first time, I truly can’t remember) The Staircase and it’s so good. I’m pretty sure Marla got me MP3 copies of this years ago and I did watch it, but I completely forgot about it in detail. Such a good watch. If you’ve already seen it, do you know about the owl theory? It’s a wild one, but, like, I think an owl did it now?

I’ve been using a small bottle of OUAI’s Wave Spray and if I can figure out how to not overspray it, it’s a great product. Once you use it though, your hair only looks good that day. After you sleep on it, your hair looks like shit. (Is that true of all hair products? I have absolutely no idea.)

Bought this Banana Republic top for $13 on sale and I love it because it does not feel like it cost so little.

I don’t know if it’s a Canadian brand but I have found a wicked alternative to Dollarama: Buck or Two. I went to one in Brampton and they’ve got everything.

I watched most of the SNL with Jennifer Lopez and wow did it suck. 99% of the sketches were basically “She’s pretty. That’s the joke.” Fucking hated it. They do this a lot of the time with certain actresses and I can’t ever tell if it’s because the actress loves doing these sketches or they’re afraid she can’t be funny. Whatever the reason is, blow my brains out, please.

I went to the Ear Inn in the city and it was lovely! Super old place. Service was great. Burger was great.

I went to Glossier with the intention of buying the cheek stain and then decided against it. It’s not a good product. I literally pinched my cheeks and got a better rosiness.

I came across probably my favourite winter children’s book of all time, The Snowman by Raymond Briggs. Look at one page of this magic.

I was so happy to hear about this matter finally being settled in New York.

I went to The Dutch again for Restaurant Week for their steak tartare and it’s just heaven on a plate.

I rewatched the great What Lies Beneath and man, it’s still just such a great movie.

As you may have heard, Papyrus is going out of business, so I’ve popped in twice to see what the closing deals are and they aren’t worth it yet (only 30% off! C’mon! I won’t get out of bed for at least 60%), so I’ll keep stopping in every so often until they’ve become desperate.

Love this part of a recent SNL (below). (If you can’t see it in Canada, search for “white male rage SNL.”

I finally went to Boulud Sud for their pasta happy hour and man was it not worth it. The place has a terrible setup if you’re sitting at the bar, the food was absolutely nothing special and had ridiculous portion sizes. It’s also a bad sign when the bread is tastier than the entree. Super disappointing.

I tried on the bras and underwear from LIVELY in Soho and even though it’s priced reasonably, I couldn’t find anything I loved. I have a feeling that I could be into it though, so I’ll go again sometime in the future for sure.

I’ll forever love the lunch special at Pil Pil on the Upper East Side. I know I probably bring this up too much, but man. Love tapas.

I can’t stop buying sunglasses for sale at ALDO. And I won’t.

I finished season one of The West Wing and it was really good. I keep forgetting about it, but I should stick with it. People, like, loved that show, didn’t they?

I started using Sol De Janeiro’s Bum Bum Cream… on my butt. That’s what it’s for, no? So far, I mean… it feels smooth? It’s not at all greasy, which I like. Seems weird to have a cream just for your butt, but who am I to criticize.

Ate the fish tacos at Summer Salt and they’re good! It’s insane and great that they sell margaritas at a fast casual place, too.

Very into this Pat McGrath mascara that I got as a Sephora reward.

Love this Wells For Boys sketch (below) from a few years ago that I just saw for the first time (thanks for showing me, Irene!)

I haven’t been there in years, but I went to Sweet Afton for happy hour in Astoria the other day and had the pickle martini which actually wasn’t terrible. Love that place.

Tried the lunch burger at Peter Luger finally! And yes it was a good burger (love that they use American cheese and the bun was very good even though it's not a potato bun). Steakhouse burgers are always hard for me to rate since a steakhouse burger is a real *entree* unlike the regular, everyday burgers that other places have which are not as big and overwhelming. An everyday burger is easy to rate since it's either great, overrated or shit. A steakhouse burger has nuances, how juicy is too juicy? How's the quality of the meat? What are the ideal toppings? Should someone shoot me for my extensive burger thoughts? Yes.

I went to see a free orchestral performance put on by Julliard at Lincoln Center and it was great. It reminded me so much of going to my brother Gary’s recitals when I was a kid, just loved it.

Had dinner at Portale. The pasta was insane. This place might be a rival for L’Artusi! Dare I say it! Every bite was phenomenal. MUST return. (Noteworthy: it also just got two stars in the Times.)

LOVED this piece about Ricky Gervais and the Golden Globes. Favourite line: “The least risky thing in the world is announced apathy.“

Maybe you don’t know this, but 90% of post offices in the U.S. have bulletproof glass between the workers and the customers. It’s obviously because awful things have happened, but I’ve been going to this one post office in the city on 23rd street that doesn’t have the glass and the workers are SO MUCH MORE PLEASANT. I wish all locations were like this one. Just a thought.

Just bought another one of these UNIQLO shirts that I love in dark grey.

Every January I make sure to:

Mark down all holidays/birthdays/anniversaries (Valentine’s Day, Daylight Saving Times, Easter, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Thanksgiving)

Check expiration dates for passport/license/health card/insurance and write down any important renewal dates

I’ve watched the first two new episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm and it fucking blows. There was only one thing I laughed at (when a server thought Larry was “oggling” her but he was really just keeping an eye on her tray with pigs in blankets) but OTHER THAN THAT, what a piece of shit season so far! I fucking hated the part in one episode where he videotapes the consent given between him and some woman as they’re making out. ALSO, and this has happened a few times over the seasons, he’s recycling fucking Seinfeld jokes. FROM THE SHOW. Talking about when it’s too late to get “Happy New Year-ed”? Are we kidding here?! Fucking lazy as hell. I might just stop watching.

I watched the new Taylor Swift documentary on Netflix and it’s really good. Even if you have zero opinion on her, I really liked it. (It also introduced me to this great song.)

Things that I’m looking forward to this month: seeing a Raptors game at Barclays Center, finally sitting down and watching season two of Shrill in its entirety, reading Joan Rivers’ book Enter Talking and and maybe going to another Restaurant Week lunch before the end date. February, please oh please don’t be as terrible as January.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in December over here!

[miannedomusings]

K-pop favourites from 2018

 ALBUMS (in no particular order):

Hope World - j-hope

mono. - RM

Love Yourself ‘Answer’ - BTS

Sun and Moon - SAM KIM

Don’t Mess Up My Tempo - EXO

honourable mentions

Blooming Days - EXO-CBX

Present : You - GOT7

Wish & Wind - HEIZE

SINGLES:

SoulMate - ZICO ft. IU

Young - Baekhyun & Loco

Getting Closer - SEVENTEEN

Ddaeng - BTS rap line

Is Who - MINSEO (not technically a single... but very good)

CHOREOGRAPHY: 

THANKS - SEVENTEEN

honourable mentions

FAKE LOVE - BTS

No Air - THE BOYZ

Getting Closer - SEVENTEEN

MUSIC VIDEO: 

Singularity - BTS

If you want to read my thoughts on my choices, they’re below the break.

If you want to, share your faves! I’m curious!

ALBUMS

Hope World : This beauty is amazing. One of the the things that makes for a good album is the story it guides it you through. The order of the tracks is almost as important as the songs themselves. Musically speaking, this album totally does that for me. The way the energy changes over the course of the album always surprises me -- the mood the first song puts me in is so different from the feeling this album leaves me with. The upbeat fun of the first few tracks are exactly the flavour I hoped for from a j-hope album even if didn’t quite know it beforehand. They just felt right, they feel like Hobi. The transition that starts with Baseline totally surprised me, and did such a great job of showing his other hip-hop flavours as it takes us into Hangsang and Airplane pt 1. Blue Side is quite possibly my favourite on this album. For me, it’s such a visual song, and I’m completely transported every time. This album blew me away. I didn’t know what I expected but this surpassed anything I had in mind. And I love that I feel like I know Hobi more from having experienced this -- and isn’t that what a mixtape should do? Now when I listen to other and older BTS songs I feel like I’m better able to hear j-hope’s j-hope-ness in his verses. 

mono. : I know I said “in no particular order”, but this album, this is probably the best of the year. This album feels like meditation to me. The whole album is so spacious, and the use of repetition makes this album feels like a series of mantras to help you engage with the sadder sides of yourself. I take a lot of deep breaths listening to this album. A lot like Hope World, I love the order of this album. Each song carries a slightly different mood, a different shade of grey, and it pulls you down to different levels of sadness and quietude. I love the brief relief you get in everythingoes -- it’s able to bring you up again and see the sun through the clouds. When I listen to this album I often feel like each song relates to a different time of day -- part of the journey of this album is through the course of a day. I always struggle to put my feelings for this album into sentences -- it so much a collection of feelings that it seems to defy description (at least by me). Cathartic, Melancholic, Meditative, Introspective. 

Love Yourself ‘Answer’ : Answer beat out Tear for a few reasons -- and not because it’s longer. Though I adore many of the B-sides on Tear, I think the weak points are weaker than those in Answer, and I think Answer is more successful as an album -- it told its story better than Tear did and I’m a sucker for a good story. The movement through the 4 phases of the album was pulled off so well! All the Trivia’s were spectacular, and these versions of the vocalists’ songs were all better that any versions that came before. This album is a joy to listen to, and when I start listening I’m committed to seeing it through. I hate being pulled away from it part way. It really does succeed in being cohesive (which can be a rarity in k-pop) and whole.

Sun and Moon : Sam Kim showed up out of no where and smacked me over the head with this album. He is a fabulous song-writer and a welcome breath of instrumentation in the largely electronic k-pop scene. His voice is soulful, perfectly suited for his style, and I’m in love with the way he lets it get rough when the songs needs it. This album is so romantic -- I shouldn’t like it as much as I do. But I actually feel the romance and love it. He brings an contagious amount of sincerity to his songs. Even if this album was full of duds, I think it may still have made it on this list thanks to The One, Make Up, and It’s You -- some of my favourite songs of the year!

Don’t Mess Up My Tempo : Unlike most of the others on this list, I don’t think this album is really telling me a story. That being said, I do still like the sometimes surprising transition from track to track. There isn’t a bad song in the batch. This album has some of the best production I have heard this year (I expect nothing less from SM -- the company is in love with weird samples and unexpected sounds). All of the songs are crazy catchy and enjoyable to listen to. And they’re interesting! The vocals are phenomenal, and most importantly, I am happy when I listen to this album! This album feels out of place on this list when I compare it to the others, but I don’t care because I love it!

SINGLES

SoulMate : I’m sure if ZICO had released an album this year it would have made it onto this list. I adore the way he plays with what Korean sounds like, and him and IU complemented each other surprisingly well. “Delightful” is the first word that comes to mind when I think of this track. Right off the bat you get the jingly percussion that I think must have been coins bouncing around in a glass jar and it makes this song feel so bright. ZICO’s rapping brings an awesome contrast after the first verse and chorus, and the instrumental solos give me wings. Love it. 

Young : Baekhyun and Loco play off of each other so well in this song. Hearing Baekhyun out of the context of EXO is a treat, his voice is able to deliver more of an edge than I thought it could. Loco has such a unique voice. It isn’t “pretty” and I never want it to be because it’s roughness makes something gorgeous! Each phase of the song sounds so different from the last, but in very small ways. The way that vocals and rapping mix together, and how the backing vocals vary make this song so interesting to listen to. The cyclical musical elements of the song do an amazing job of communicating the lyrics and the laid back vibes of the song suit the two voices and make it so easy to listen to and enjoy. 

Getting Closer: Fierce. Seventeen finally tried a dark concept and pulled it off! I really like this song and I hope that there is an album with a similar tone soon to follow. This song really continues with Seventeen’s minimal style. The song uses monotones vocals and synths to create its dark vibe and make the softer moments so much sweeter. One of the highlights in this song is when they use of layering high vocals on low raps -- still keeping everything very bare, but adding just a touch of interest. And also, the choreography. It’s so powerful. It’s gruff. And it will bite your ear off if you get in a scuffle with its dance break. It almost made it into the choreo section of this post.  

Ddaeng : I almost forgot to include this song on this list. This song that I had on repeat for weeks. Shame on me! This song is so BTS, I love it deeply. Besides being infectious and a wicked display of rap skills, any translation worth anything has about a page and a half of footnotes to go along with it. Our bulletproof wordsmiths seriously pulled out all the stops on this one, just to throw some shade. And then Suga mixed it with that gorgeous instrumentation and bitchin’ beat. Solid.

Is Who : This is a bit of an oddball on this list, and it isn’t even technically a single, but this song is a hoot and half. If someone with a voice as lovely as Minseo’s is going to serve me up some pop-jazz-swing with fiddle and ragtime piano and SCATTING, I’m going to eat. it. up. This song is fun! It is bright! And it isn’t what I often hear in K-pop. 

CHOREO

THANKS : Seventeen, seventeen, seventeen. Sometimes there music is a little too sweet for me, but their dancing melts my brain every time. They use their numbers so well and their dedication to precision when dancing prevents from their complicated dancing from ever looking chaotic or messy. This song in particular - OOF. Wow. If you haven’t watched the performance video for this song, you should. They manage to have so many moving parts, and it reads as intricate, but always clear. They also do a great job of matching the sad vibes of the song. There are so many dances that could have made this list, but Thanks is so far beyond any of them in my books that I couldn’t have it sharing the title. 

MUSIC VIDEO

Singularity : Is anyone on this blog surprised by this? I don’t shut up about this m/v. And for good reason -- it is freakin’ amazing! Aesthetically gorgeous, kills it with the visual metaphors, the choreography is beautiful and surprising given the music, and it’s minimal without lacking anything. Lots of K-pop m/vs are either very visually loud, or “minimally aesthetic” at the cost of substance. Singularity manages to find a balance. Taehyung does a stellar job with his acting and I am sucked into this world every time.