#i'm a bit of reylo trash

[jessequinnfirstofhername]

Controversial Star Wars opinion: the Star Wars universe is one of the most hopeless universes ever. It poses itself as hopeful, but when you look closer, it's really quite dire.

1) Anakin's life is tragic, whatever redemption he may be argued to have was only found in death, but his entire life sucked... so much

2) Padme tried so hard, and still failed, and found no redemption in death

3) Obi-Wan also tried so hard, and still lost everyone he cared about

4) The clones. All of it, everything about them. Sentient, but not free, thrown away like trash when their usefulness has been served, just like:

5) Droids, all of them, everything about them. Sentient, but not free, etc. Even C3PO, one of the most famous droids, is rarely shown respect by *the heroes* of the series.

6) Luke, what he became - a sad, milk chugging hobo who abandoned his responsibilities after trying to murder his nephew, which - seems wildly out of character for the man who held hope for *Darth Vader*, but I digress.

7) The OT trio were apparently so bad at their jobs that the First Order came back as strong as the Empire in only *thirty years*; this makes Leia look wildly incompetent at governing... Which I hate.

8) Love is destined to fail or end in tragedy - Obi- Wan and Satine, Padme and Anakin Han and Leia, the beloathed Reylo.

9) Evil can only be beaten by good temporarily at best, before it somehow returns.

10) Most of the galaxy exists in widespread poverty and slavery and war are common and neverending.

In conclusion, for a universe that presents itself as hopeful and full of hope for the future... There isn't a lot of it.

I do see where you're coming from, Anon. But I have to mostly disagree with you. I'll go through this point-by-point:

Yes, Anakin's life was difficult, and tragic. But was it all bad? He certainly seemed to have happy moments with Padme, Ahsoka, and/or Obi-Wan during The Clone Wars, and after all the tragedy and horror he suffered (and he did suffer, no matter how self-inflicted some of it was), he died redeemed and cradled in his son's arms, becoming one with The Force.

I do agree with this one. Poor Padme's life is a tragedy.

In the end, he didn't lose Qui-Gon, Yoda, Anakin, or any of his Jedi friends. He'll be with them forever in The Living Force. It is a tragedy that he lost Satine, but he didn't lose everyone.

I don't really have a rebuttal here, as yes, you are actually right. It is wrong how they are treated, and canon itself acknowledges that.

...are droids sentient? They have personalities, but... aren't those personalities just programming? I'm genuinely asking, if anyone has a definitive, canonical answer.

I disagree that Luke's character was ruined by TLJ. I kinda liked that a hero as optimistic as Luke eventually reached his breaking point. It makes him more human, which makes him pulling himself out of that rut and becoming a hero once more all the more meaningful.

I think that canon has established thoroughly enough that The Empire/Palpatine still had tendrils all over The Galaxy, making their return as The First Order inevitable. Also, my understanding is that Leia isn't incompetent, but she was politically ruined when it got out who her father was.

...okay, maybe falling in love in Star Wars is a bit of a health hazard. I'll agree with you there.

Yes, there will always be evil out there, but there will always be good to rise up and vanquish it.

There is no defense or rebuttal to this one, as it's completely true. But most fantasy worlds do have their dark, depressing, or seedy sides. Also, we are constantly seeing wars being ended, slaves freed, and hope being restored to the hopeless in Star Wars. We see the misery turn to joy, over and over again.

My own conclusion; yes, this hopeful universe does have a lot of hopelessness in it. But there is also a bright spark of hope that runs through it all.

However, I'm open to disagreement. This is merely my own response to your points.

[delistravaganza]

I swear I relate to everything you have written about the enemies to lovers trope and lesbians.

it’s not even about lesbian representation, at least in fandom, of course that’s important but it’s not the point here, it’s about having wlw stories that are as...complex? Messed up? Intricated? as straight or even (in more recent years) mlm romantic storylines are allowed to be. I feel like I am constantly hungry of complicate stories with lesbian or bisexuals female characters involved in messy relationship. But almost every popolar ship that I meet on fandom or tv shows either is watered down, made all soft and sweet and not threatening and so not complicate enough to be appealing. (or in the fews that are not like that in the original media they get made in this way by the fandom- it’s so unnerving). it seems to me that’s it is either “tragic dead lesbian” or “soft sapphic story all is sweet uwu”. As someone who love stories with romance only when the romance is very complicated and not necessarily healthy and full of ambivalent feelings (don’t judge me as you said it’s just a matter of preference ashahaha) I sometimes read slash (mlm) fanfiction on ao3 that feature very complicate and not necessarily healthy dynamics and I go damn I wish that there was a fanfiction exactly like this but with two women instead of two men.

I get this 1000%. To be fair, I don't think it's just the wlw couples being UwUified in recent films and shows, this happens to all queer representation because of the pressure to create "good rep". To some extent, it's even happening with straight pairings because people are more aware now of sexism and what it really means to consent, though everyone still seems to be willing to let this knowledge fly off if teh guy iz HOT.

But there seems to be a particular issue with writing f/f interactions that are manipulative, dark or somehow more adult, not necessarily meaning sex but rather a more nuanced portrayal of the relationship. Whereas all the straight toxic romances went to specific (and thriving) genres such as "dark romance" (which at least seems to be more self-conscious as the Reylo fic I mentioned before), and we get glorious epics of m/m fanfiction stories (and books that feel like fanfiction), it sometimes seems like the women characters are treated as little girls.

Even in a dark, creepy, cannibalistic, adult-oriented show such as Yellowjackets, I found myself more interested in the hypothetical Jackie/Shauna pairing because oh boy that was complex! than in the actual lesbian pairings involving Tai, who is a great and somewhat nuanced character except when it comes to her (sanitized) relationships. Is it really just me favoring problematic and unhealthy dynamics or is there some truth to this? (It may be me.) Is Tai a bit tamed down because she's gay AND black?

Also, to be completely fair, I think that I have more expectations when it comes to wlw plots, maybe because I subconsciously think of them as more "me" than the others. I've read a lot about how women use slash to slip away from the narrative and write more freely, and the fact is - I've read a lot of trash when it comes to m/m. And I definitely don't remember it with the resentment I save for f/f media like First Kill ("you fucking set out to be everything I wanted and turned out to be a pile of dog shit!").

I have also read extremely interesting books featuring f/f dynamics on the latest years, which I could post here instead of whining à la Louis de Pointe du Lac, but the fact is that these books already set out to be a work of literary merit and weren't written to dwell on the romance or possible romance itself. I'm not even counting MBF here as I read it a while back for the first time, but it could be an example - I don't know, but it definitely wasn't written with UwUification in mind. I'm still thrilled at how much the marketing DID and DOES UwUify our girls and their relationship. Sometimes the marketing is like: Wouldn't you just love to have such a special friendship like these two? Uhhh what? No, thank you, I had my share of that shit?!?

Oh, and also - I'm not even sure it comes down to self-identification either. I said I identify with Catradora, but the fact is I don't necessarily identify with either Catra or Adora. I just identified with their feelings, and I felt empathy for them, and I worried and I suffered and I felt frustrated and I so, so, so hungered and feared for their fights and God, you should really check this one out because it's really on the edge between UwU and dark, and I think it's this mixture what made it work in today's world. It seemed to appeal to both parts of me - the one who lowkey wants the positive, young-and-healthy-oriented rep she didn't have as a teen, and the more prevalent one who prefers angst and twisted things. And yes, it's a cartoon. A cartoon did what many real, adult-oriented shows and books couldn't do with me.

But Catradora probably also worked because we, the audience, were purposefully kept in the dark about them, so we got to experience their story as it developed and without any clear expectation as what the end would be (compared to: here's your wlw romance of the day! Ship them! Hope they don't die!), something I'm sure you wouldn't be able to achieve now that all the info is out there.

Anyway, I'm rambling now and already taking too much time off work. But I find this topic fascinating. If anyone else wants to join in the conversation or point me somewhere that isn't Buffy/Faith or Catradora or Villanelle or Nicky/Lorna (YES I STILL SHIP THEM AND WILL ALWAYS DO) or our Neapolitan toxic friends, please do. And as always, nice talking to you. <3

---

P.D.: Here's a long video analysis that I really liked that tackles why "good" LGBT representation is boring (not wlw representation exclusively).

[demonscantgothere]

Hey, I hope you have a great day :) Thanks for updating your fics so regularly, I enjoy them a lot!

I read your last post regarding fics and the fandom, and as fic writer myself, I have to agree. The fandom was at its height shortly before, during, and after the reveal of 1x08, and now I feel as if it has cooled down. There are the "regulars", those who read new fics and comment, but there are less kudos and comments every time I post a new chapter. It's a little bit sad, and I wish there were more people still staying.

Of course, the hate the tv show got / gets and the rumors regarding season 2 / some actors certainly don't help matters.

Anyhow, thanks for giving so much to the fandom :D

My day is going awesome so far! I hope yours is, too! You're welcome! And thank you, too! My obsession knows no bounds and will not cool down, so y'all just gonna have to live with that. There is no place my mind won't go with this ship. In between writing I've been trying to go around and read some more fics myself, but I admit I have more time for one-shots and haven't been able to really immerse myself in too many multi-chaptered pieces just due to time constraints, my own writing time, and real life in general.

I knew I couldn't be the only one who noticed the severe drop maybe like a week and a half after the finale aired. People were fired up when he was just Halbrand, and then I remember when I would make my posts about him potentially being Sauron, some people would get upset with me and send anon asks that weren't always too friendly. I never answered them out loud because I just didn't see the point. On one post, I said, Are you gonna be there with me when this tag becomes Sauron/Galadriel? Because it’s gonna happen. It’s gonna happen. And a lot of people are going to be jumping ship like, “I didn’t sign up for this!”

A lot of people flooded my inbox after that about how distraught and upset they would be if that happened. So, people have definitely left the fandom. I know we're still here like, "Them being enemies makes it spicier!" But I had people commenting on my posts and messaging me about how disgusting it was, how could I still ship it, comparisons to Reylo, and lots of crude comments about "how can you ship such a trash/abusive ship" etc. The amount of people that were coming for me after the reveal despite the fact that I was still shipping it made me feel like there was a huge divide over that.

Of course, my thoughts on shipping are ship and let ship! So, anyway, I'm still here. And I ain't going anywhere!

[mysteryspot-duhh]

Star Wars:RoS rant

I left the movie feeling... nothing.

I didn't hate it, I didn't like it that much.

Which is very much different with TLJ. I left the cinema feeling pumped! 'Ooohh, what are they gonna do for the next one?' 'the rebellion kinda dead, but they are the spark' 'ohh, shit. Is Hux gonna betray Kylo? He hates him noww' 'Kylo gonna be mad of power now?'

Those were the thoughts.

The Rise of Skywalker.

Well, no Skywalker left now. HAHAHHAHA.

Well, I'm gonna say, killing Ben Solo is downright STOOPID. Mind you, it's Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. Kylo Ren could rot.

Now, rant begins.

1. The complexity of the character KyloRen/Ben Solo is the best in all of the sequel films. Adam Driver's acting, *chef's kiss* Not many people like him i guess- including my mum. She hated, in her words, The Hero. So, that's telling something, right? Ben Solo should be the Skywalker who rises in this movie. But, nooooo. He dead, my guy.

Anyway, if you want to kill him, at least, do it in a dignified way. Let the man say something. Not just drop dead and vanishes without uttering anything. DUMB DUMB.

Oh, and the opening scene of him slaughtering the dudes to find the Sith wayfinder. Too long, my guy. Too long.

This brings us to the next point.

2. HAHAHHA Palpatine shows up guys. The person who were thrown down the ship, and then the ship exploded. Thrown down by Vader no less. Vader did a terrible job of getting rid of his enemy then. You failed Anakin. But, eh. Oh yeah, he survived and somehow HAS A CHILD, AND THIS CHILD HAS A CHILD, AND HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO KILL HER, THEN NOT KILL HER CAUSE HE WANTS HER TO BE EMPRESS PALPATINE SO HE CAN POSSES HER OR SOMETHING BUT THEN THE LIFE FORCE SUCKING THING HAPPENS AND THEN HE WANTS TO KILL HER? Like what, my dude? Stick to an idea lah. Adoyai! Kill her, or don't want kill her. Confuse lah, adoi.

Um, I dislike Rey Palpatine. I prefer her to be a nobody. Rian reaally sold the idea to me. Ugh, so good. The way it's saying that, doesn't matter who your family is, you can achieve greatness if you have the Force with you. Rey has the Force, the Force is with her.

Next!

3. Leia's scene. Kinda odd. Eventhough they tried their best using the footages from TLJ and incorporating it into the scene, it's still lacking. At one scene, you know that Leia is talking to another person, cause her eye is not levelled ,correctly, with Rey. Anyway, that's okay i guess cause you can't do anything with it, but the scene is not flowing right with me. It's odd.

4. Finn should have his own storyline. Not like the one in TLJ. God, no! I've read that he's force sensitive. So, yeah, go explore that.

5. Poe is okay i guess. Butttttt, trading spices/drugs kinda makes his transition to be an important part of the rebellion, doesn't make sense. Like, he doesn't have a personal connection to the rebellion as Finn and Rey. Finn, was a stormtrooper, escape the space nazi, joins the rebellion. Rey has the force, the First Order is the dark side, joins the rebellion. Poe was trading spices and got caught by the First Order and he..has..a beef with them..so join the rebellion, i guess...?

6. Jannah was okay. Is she Bonnie from The End of The F***ing World? I don't know. No time to google. Keri Russell was okay. Rose was sidelined? Even though, she was a prominent character in TLJ? What treachery is this? Not much can be said about her now, can i? When she is barely in the movie. No resolution from the awkward kiss she and Finn had. No? No.

7. The sith blade is RIDICULOUS. Boi, we Indiana Jones now? Find this bad guy, must translate this blade, go to this location. Use the blade to find this thing. Oh yeah,you must stand at an exact spot, and do this exact thing to find the thing. Boleh pulak macam tu kan. Nothing wrong with it, but what if they arrived at different part of the beach. It would take longer i imagine.

Now, things that i liked.

8. Ben Solo REDEMPTION!! To haters, you can suck ass! My son is redempted in the sweetest way. Granted, it was supposed to be Leia (Carrie Fisher) who helps nudge Ben to the light side, but hey, seeing Han again is GREAT. But for me, Ben starts going to the light side when Leia uses her force energy to call Ben. This causes Ben to stop, like, oh shit, mama's calling. She still cares for me?? But then, Rey stabs him and Leia dies. That's great actually. Adam Driver, man gets so little but does so much. And the 'Dad' part. Ugh. 'I know'. The feelings.

9. We have force ghost Luke. That's cool, though it is expected. The Luke training Leia scene is not necessary I think. She doesn't even speak. It's better to be a quiet moment between Luke and Rey. Babu Frik is THE BEST.

10. Okay. This one I reaaaally like cause it's a continuation from TLJ. We can take and give things using force bond now! That's great! This is an idea done right. First, from the splashes in TLJ, hand touch, now we have the necklace, Vader's helmet and then THE LIGHTSABER. That scene, so cool man. Like magic. Rey trusts Ben, and she gives it to him.

But, i would really like it if they are only able to do this because of the force tryad thing. If it isn't, everybody gonna start doing it now.

But, I'm bummed that no words are spoken and they don't even beat Palpatine's ass. It should be like the Snoke's Throne Room fight in TLJ. Though i can see that it is repetitive. But hey, Ben gets to kick his torturer's ass. That would've been more emotionally fulfilling.

There is a problem with pacing and too many locations. 4 planets, 6 if you count the rebel base and Tattooine. There might be more, I lost count.

Great cinematography except for Leia, great music and great action sequences.

All in all, this might be good if it is a standalone movie or a continuation to TFA. Not good as a sequel to TLJ. Emotionally, i am left unfulfilled.

[separatist-apologist]

hi friend! at this point, whenever someone asks for dates or updates i kinda feel like sneaking into you inbox to filter the things that get sent to you and only letting the very very positive through, anyway, i’m sending this mainly bc i see this sort of thing in all the fandoms i’ve ever participated in (specially with v active creators) where ppl ask for updates v frequently (even if politely and with a lot of good intention in their heart) and one fic writer in particular had this system where she had a “monthly post” where she would kinda be like “i may post fic x during the first week of july” etc, she did it precisely bc of all the different asks about updates, and had it very well said in the beginning that those were all maybes and not certains, so ppl wouldn’t pester about “missed updates”, kinda like a psa announcement. She also used it to keep track of her own writing, like, words per month, amount of chapters posted. It’s an organization system. Reading it all, I know that doing it may take the… spontaneity off of things, a bit. Makes the whole hobby thing more serious, and might bring anxiety as like “oh, i’m not posting when i said i would” and it might be too much work at all for something silly, so this is a suggestion? said creator (she’s actually a professional writer now!! gotta love her) ended up using that as a sort of calendar (and she had her anons off too, as well as a less problematic corner of the fandom then what we have now). oh! And she also had adhd, and overall reminds me of you a lot. Maybe you’ve even thought about this yourself? Anyway, feel free to delete this ask too, hope you’re great, pumpkin!

I know exactly who you're talking about and the way the fandom treated her was absolute trash. She deserved a lot more grace for what she gave to Reylo and I never once envied her.

especially now.

I think you meant this in like all earnest but like. This ask made me cry actual tears because when does it become enough? Last Young Renegade was updated 48 hours ago. And the chapter before that a week before. Two updates, two weeks. Twenty thousand words between them. In two weeks.

Look at the month. I completed You Should See Me In A Crown. Began I Could Be A Real Nightmare. Two chapters of Right Where You Left Me. Two Chapters of Wonderland. Five of Cruel Summer.

If the fandom wants me to create a sidebar so you can log into tumblr and see how many words I wrote (12k today) and what I worked on and when I plan to update what, then the fandom can pay me to do it. That's a JOB. I don't account for my own time at work like that and I'm not going to do it here.

Why is that even an expectation? This is my HOBBY. I update CONSTANTLY. Go look at what I uploaded in AO3 in May and June. Count the words. I've been in the fandom for a YEAR, CIWYWT was uploaded in May 2021. Like. I'm genuinely asking. At what point is it enough to just assume that I will update when I can and it's not worth harassing me about?

[solocommaben]

I saw a video showing that parallels between Spuffy and Reylo and I learned how to make manips(?) of my own. So, here's Reylo as Spuffy. (Spuffeylo?)

I own nothing.

"You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you. And dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine. And done things I'd prefer you didn't... I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong kriffing calls. A hundred plus years. And there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you. Or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you *are*. What you do. How you try... I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you. And I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are... You're a *hell* of a woman... You're the One, Rey."

"I don't want to be the One."

"I don't want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear."

"Ben...could you stay here? Will you just hold me?"

~Reylo Buffyverse AU~

@reysexualkylo @reylokisses @oh-adam @ben-solo-is-a-cinnamon-roll @greyforceuser @waterlilyrose @reylo-trash @heylo-reylo @reylodaily @goodboybensolo @rosetintedlightsaber @dyadwars @kylos @driverdaily

[mandaloriangf]

I'm tired of Reylos acting like they give a shit about Finn/Finnrey/Star Wars in general. It would be different if Kylo was just some dude who was a little bit of an asshole, but he's a selfish, murderous tyrant that straight-up treats Rey like trash all the way through the trilogy.

Reylos spent years downplaying and excusing his evils while trying to paint Finn, a noble and caring person, as morally equivalent or worse than Kylo. Even if you saw nothing with Rey and Finn, there were less than ZERO reasons to ship her with a killer who spent their entire screen time terrorizing her, belittling her, and killing people she cared about.

I remain disgusted that Lucasfilm and RJ fed these deranged people, and I remain frustrated that they pollute SW with their non-stop whining about Ben Solo, who died a heroic death he absolutely did not earn nor deserve. The OT characters literally died on the altar of his redemption, Rey was reduced to his girlfriend, and Finn got kicked to the curb as the male lead.

Fuck Reylo, Fuck Lucasfilm, and most importantly, Fuck Ben Solo. That is all.

could not agree more. i will always remember the awful shit they’ve done and said over the years.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

I've noticed that you use the R*ylo tag a lot and I was wondering if you could explain why you ship something that's so abusive? I'm not condemning you for shipping them, I used to myself I'm just wondering if you could explain *your* reasons? I don't think that I'll ever understand why people do but maybe you could help me take the first few steps?

Oh, no problem! 

First, I would like to clarify that I don’t really consider myself an active part of the Star Wars fandom, and I am aware that Reylo shippers can often be toxic about things that have nothing to do with the actual ship. (Finn, John Boyega, etc.) Might go without saying, but I do like to make sure everyone knows that I think that behavior isn’t okay. 

I have also heard the Reylo ship described as abusive. While I can more than understand that interpretation, I wouldn’t say I agree with it. That is, I don’t think this ship is any more problematic than say, MC/Merula. It’s a traditional case of enemies of lovers. True, Ben Solo said and did some terrible things to Rey. He tried to kill her friends, he Force-probed her mind, etc. But on the other hand...she also gave him the scar on his face, and stabbed him in TROS. I don’t think of their antagonistic behavior toward each other as abuse. I think of it as simply being two people on opposing sides of a war, a life-or-death war, who are also wrestling with confused feelings for each other. A growing fondness and respect. Enemies to lovers. 

In general, I tend to think it’s a bit odd to condemn Kylo Ren as a villain...more than we condemn Darth Vader, who’s onscreen body count is significantly higher, and includes children. Ben is trash, I don’t deny it. He did terrible things and that makes him interesting to me...but I guess I just don’t understand the hatred he gets from half of the fandom. Anakin slaughtered an entire tribe of sand-people and was not sorry. He called them “animals.” Meanwhile, Ben murdered his father and doing so “split his spirit to the bone.” I guess this also applies to shipping him with Rey. I’ll admit, I find it odd that people think it’s toxic for Rey to want to redeem him...when it’s the same idea as Luke wanting to redeem Vader. Like, the exact same. The only difference is that the bond is romantic isntead of familial. (No, J.J, that was not a “sibling” kiss. Stop trying to appease both sides, dude.) 

Why do I ship them? Well, mostly because of TLJ. I will admit that TROS didn’t mishandle this ship the way it mishandled so much else, such as Ben’s redemption and death...but this fire really started in the second movie. Could just be the performances, or the chemistry that the actors have, or maybe it’s how Ben and Rey are written. They do have some interesting parallels. I dunno, I just really got invested in their bond during TLJ. How they were trying to figure each other out, and realized they were kindred spirits. How indignant Rey was on behalf of Ben when she thought Luke had tried to kill him. How heartbroken she was when he wouldn’t turn back to the light - and Ben’s equal desperation for her to turn Dark. That scene in the elevator, where Rey uses his name for the first time? More romantic tension in that one scene then between Anakin and Padme across all three prequels, if you ask me. 

TROS fortunately didn’t abandon this like it abandoned so much else of TLJ’s contributions (Cough cough, Rose, cough.) and while I think the writing was overall weaker, there were some really sweet moments nonetheless. Rey healing Ben and basically telling him that his loyalty to the Dark Side is all that’s stopping them from being together. The way they perfect the Dyad by the end so Rey can pass Ben the lightsaber. Hell, the concept of the Dyad in general. I am more frustrated than you can imagine that Ben had no lines following his turn back to the light, but I don’t care what people say - their kiss wasn’t cringe, that moment was earned. At least in my opinion. 

But hey, it’s just a ship, and it features a rather divisive character, so there’s no reason anyone has to want anything to do with it.

[anakin-skywalker]

why do you think you'd get hate if you didn't tag that you don't ship reylo? we don't go around talking trash to creators that make reylo edits. if you didn't mention it, nobody would've come at you. i'm not saying you can't make edits about people you don't ship, ofc not, it's just that it doesn't make any sense you tag that then blame the reylos for questioning it. i mean, you were getting notes from us and they only asked that because sometimes we're reblogging antis without knowing.

Because anti-reylos send quite a bit of hate, it goes both ways? It’s not a romantic edit, every scene is literally them fighting each other or someone else. Reylo = Kylo and Rey, it was a gifset of Kylo and Rey. Please unreblog the set, I made it because I had the idea for it. I’m also not an anti whatsoever or ever have been? My url is anakin-skywalker, I mostly gif the prequels.......

[imperial-martian]

hey new mutual, the character i'm giving you is armitage hux!

How I feel about this character:

Armitage is a very complex character to unfold. He has so much information about him that is never shown in the movies. His past is a major part of what’s made him the man he is today. His countless years of abuse - whether physical, verbal, emotional, or any other form that he went through - definitely effected how he acted later on.

He was forced into an army without a choice and saw no other option but to rise in the ranks and fight for his life only for somebody else to jump in and take a similar position, and then pass him because of a game of kill or be killed. He’d played that game all his life and lost due to a force user, but he would have been damned if he didn’t take one final blow.

So, personally, I think Armitage is a very complex and hard character to understand completely. Even now I realize that how I wrote him for imagines would be completely different then how I would right him for chapter fics (at least the ones I after Broken & Bruised). He’s has a very simple task that he wants to achieve. He wants power and he wants control, because that’s all he was ever brought up to know.

He wants power to be feared, and to be feared gives him some form of security. If he was feared and in control he wouldn’t have to worry nearly as much about somebody throwing him around or treating him like trash without severe punishment being taken against them.

I feel as though Armitage is still a character lurking for attention and affection - albeit, different forms than what children or romantic companions give him - to make up for everything he went through as a child. He doesn’t want to be known as the man who is a weak willed child. So, no, I don’t think him becoming the spy was far off at all, because seeing Kylo Ren lose would put him in that position of power.

Armitage could most certainly over power Pryde, but he wouldn’t be able to do that with Ren constantly over his shoulder and at his neck. I don’t think Armitage was even close - honestly, no where near close! - to being shown his real potential.

I could go on for longer, but I have class in a bit.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:

No one. Can no one be an answer? Well, that’s my answer.

Now, before I go on to say why, let me clarify one thing. I do not go looking at the fanons view of ships. I don’t look at the headcanons people give them, or the reasons they ship it, or what redemptions they give the characters. I absolutely stay away from ANY fandoms ships!

Okay, with that out of the way, let me tell you why I don’t like a lot of ships with Armitage. I don’t know how many there are, and I don’t want to go looking for them all, but I’ll mention the few I know.

(This isn’t to offend anyone, it’s just my opinion!)

Kylux- I have a few major problems with this ship, that no matter how much people try to redeem it, or see past certain things, will never make me feel indifferent. The way Ren treats Hux is a major issue for me. I mean, Kylo nearly killed Hux- more than once if I remember correctly.

The animosity that Armitage holds for Ren is far too grand for any form of romantic relationship to hold. Even a friendship is hard for me to see happening between the two. It would take a damn long time for Hux to even think about opening up to Kylo like a friend. I can’t see any other relationship, except work - which we all know how that went - working.

To be honest, I think Kylo is extremely physical with Hux, and although I think Armitage could dominate Kylo if he had the power/force, because Hux is at a disadvantage I can only ever see Kylo as an abuser towards Hux.

Hux x Poe, Rose, Finn, Rey- I can’t see Hux with any of these characters, at all. In no way can I see the man that absolutely obliterated the New Republic. Armitage hates everything that the Republic stands for, he was brought up to hate them.

The only reason he helped the Resistance was for the power. He knew he couldn’t kill Hux on his own so he needed people to do it for them. He only gave enough information that he knew would help take down Kylo, but not enough to take down The First Order.

Also, why would any of the Resistance members want to be romantically involved with somebody who’s killed billions of their own. They don’t see any redemption in him- and the only reason I could see him be “redeemed” for dating a Resistance member is through fabulous writing. I haven’t seen any reason why any of the Resistance members in the movies to really and trully trust Hux.

(ps. this doesn’t mean that fanfic writers can’t write for Hux joining the Resistance or that Hux can’t date a Resistance reader - I mean like that’s one of my favorite troupes - but I can’t see Hux dating the Resistance members in the movies. They all stand too tall and proudly to let them be corrupted into dating Hux. (This is also one of reasons why I don’t ship Reylo either.))

Hux x Phasma- I honestly can’t see them romantically involved with one another. You’ll see more as you why on the next bullet.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

Now this is easy. I mean, the two characters were really close. Phasma even killed Brendol Hux for Armitage. Hux kept her safe too. He did his best to hide the tracts of what happened, and when Hux killed Brooks, he looked towards Phasma to be sure nobody would see. He even used her blaster.

I can’t see them together romantically, I think, for the both of them, they aren’t ready for each other emotionally, and even if they were I still wouldn’t be able to see them as any more then a best friend or brother-sister relationship.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

Here me out, Hux would be such a badass force user. I think that if Hux could use and control the force he would be someone to be reckoned with. Not only is Hux skilled with a blaster - which, unfortunately, wasn’t shown in the movies - but him with a lightsaber! He’d be pretty hard to take down.

Even if people were able to get through his guards I think he could take down another force user. However, this isn’t canon compliment, so for an opinion that is, I think Hux would make a better Supreme Leader than Kylo and Snoke. The man has one of - if not the highest - IQ in the Star Wars universe! Now imagine him with the highest power possible in the First Order.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character:

Well, I wish a lot of things would/had happened with him, a lot regarding his “death” (and I put that in quotations because I, much like a lot of others, think that he’s still alive). However, I don’t want to go there right now, so I’ll list list a major thing I wish would have happened.

I wished Hux could have been what they made him up to be in TLJ in TROS. I think Disney absolutely ruined what his character stood for and who he was. I think if his past was shown or hinted in the movies a lot more people would start to see how complex he is. Now many people read the comics. I never did before I got into Hux’s character. So, to put it simply, I wish that they would have showed some more character in him (and, like @swellwriting, I hope they show how he is still alive in some tv series).

[marinashutup]

NO. PLEASE GOD NO. DON'T YOU DARE. IF YOU START SHIPPING REYLO MARINA I SWEAR TO GOD. MAYBE IN AN ALTERNATIVE TIMELINE WHERE THE SPOILERY BIT HAPPENS AND HE SPOILERIED INSTEAD I COULD SEE IT CAUSE CHEMISTRY-WISE I SEE IT BUT NO HE'S A MANIPULATIVE SPACE ALT RIGHT ABUSIVE PIECE OF SHIT. MARINA YOU WERE MY ONLY HOPE I'M SURROUNDED BY REYLO AND I HATE IT I'VE GENUINELY GONE OUT OF MY WAY TO FOLLOW ANTI REYLO BLOGS TO STAY SANE I NEED YOU WITH ME ON THIS I'M BEGGING YOU

[Some vague TLJ Spoilers]DUDE. I’m right there with you! He’s essentially an emotionally abusive space Nazi. Nothing about shipping Rey/Kylo is healthy, and I think it would go against the narrative/themes/character development of Rey for them to end up together. Kylo is trash and I understand that completely on a logical level.But there’s the 13 year old girl inside of me who grew up with romanticized depictions of Bad DudesTM, and very much was into ships like Bella/Edward that I later grew up to learn were abusive as FUCK. I now have the framework to understand that, but that 13 year old who grow up around emotional abuse and was taught to glorify these types of relationships still exists somewhere deep inside of me. It’s the WORST part of myself, and I acknowledge that. If anything, I think it’s my crush on Adam Driver and not the character of Kylo Ren that I’m into. But to be clear: I DO NOT SHIP REYLO. However, I do think shipping Reylo has another political implication to it that is hard to ignore in 2017. It’s not *just* about the glorification of abusive relationships, but the very real political ramifications of romanticizing a fascist during a time when we see active neo-nazis rebranding themselves as “the alt-right” and anti-semitic hate crimes are on the rise. It would be foolish to try to remove The First Order (which is essentially an allegory for the Nazi party) from that context, and potentially dangerous considering the political climate that we’re currently occupying. That is where Reylo shippers miss the mark (and I’m hoping it’s because a large portion of them are young girls, but that can’t be the only reason.)There are also connections to be made between Kylo and young white male mass shooters who are glorified by the media as “intelligent loners” who are just “misunderstood.” But that’s a lot to get into right now.

[sourdoughserenity]

10 Facts You Now Know About Me

Rules: Post ten facts about yourself and tag ten people you want to get to know better

Thanks @reylo-ology for tagging me! I really enjoy being a part of this community here and get excited every time I do something more interactive 😁

1. I fell into Reylo after TLJ - I didn't see it AT ALL in TFA and when my husband bought some Kylo Ren plates for our kids I was like, Ew, he's the mean bad guy, why would we want our kids to eat off plates with him on them? And now I look back and laugh at myself and the irony of it all. So anyway, I wound up looking at pictures on Pinterest, and saw some more NSFW type stuff and was like... Oh. Oh. Uh huh. Yeah. MOAR PLEAZ!!!! aaand here I am in the depths of the Reylo Tumblr trash bin. I was not previously acquainted with the words 'fandom' or 'ship' in any kind of meaningful way, and had no idea what I was getting into. But I'm very glad to be here!

2. I speak German as a second language, well enough to teach German 1 (like A1 in Europe). I started learning it in 6th grade and went on exchange in 10th grade to a little town in southern Germany where I lived with a Dutch family and actually learned German. I traveled a lot in Europe and the whole experience really shaped the direction of my life in some importsnt ways. I kept studying in college, but I never managed to do an exchange again. Kind of funny, but when you say 'fic' out loud in English it's basically like saying 'fuck' in German. Stuff like that makes me laugh inside.

2. My husband just told me to include the fact that I'm dead inside. Lol. There are some things, like cute puppies, that I just don't care about. I seriously don't. But watching some things, or seeing people cry in real life, can make me bust out crying too, like nobody's business. So I'm a mixed bag, I guess. But it is true that I'm kind of dead inside.

4. I studied linguistics in college, and can speak conversational Spanish (Caribbean/Latin American Spanish)in addition to German, a bit of Portuguese and Turkish, and some random other things. I know a lot of random facts about random languages. I find the grammatical structures of agglutinative languages really interesting, and I also love phonetics. But I never went on to get a Ph.D because the paperwork scared me. I also couldn't pick one thing that interested me, at the time when I should have been applying. If I went back to school now, I'd focus on phonetics, or linguistic anthropology. I'm a big fan of Daniel Everett.

5. I like to knit and crochet a lot, although I have trouble finishing projects. My grandmother taught me to crochet when I was 5-6, and I learned to knit when I was 6-7 in school. Right now where I'm living I don't have any of my supplies, and I've really missed creating things with yarn this year.

6. I'm obsessed with baking sourdough bread using a wild yeast sourdough starter. The starter is like my pet 😊 again where I live right now it's hard to bake properly, and I didn't bring all my baking supplies with me, but I LOVE making real sourdough. Lol my Tumblr account name. Once I'm back in the US I am so looking forward to baking regularly again.

Some fairly crappy bread I baked here:

7. My parents are both converts to Islam and I grew up going to a mosque in the suburbs of NYC. It was a Sufi mosque and very much not a mainstream kind of experience, from both an American and a Muslim perspective. When I left the little bubble I grew up in it was pretty weird. I didn't feel equipped to deal with mainstream American culture and mainstream Muslim culture, and it's taken me, well, it's still taking me, time to figure out my place in all of this... Lol I walked right into that Rey quote. I love Star Wars.

8. Another part of my bubble was the Waldorf School I attended. Rudolf Steiner, anyone? Anthroposophy and gnomes? It was an interesting, and it some ways great experience going to a Waldorf School. I got to study German and go on exchange, knit in class all the time, make a hammered dulcimer in woodshop, and read and analyze loads of good books and poetry. And learn about homeopathy in my chemistry class lol. It only contributed to my bubble that popped when I went to college, but I'm glad I had the experience I had in school there.

9. Back to Reylo... I am so honored to be working with @shaara-2 in helping her translate the fan fiction she is writing from Italian into English! I love editing, and I understand a bit of Italian (romance languages generally speaking) so that along with Google I'm able to translate the story. I'm her translator/beta I guess you could say. It's been really exciting to work with someone else on creating and contributing to the community here. Shaara is very patient with me when life takes over and I can't work as much as I'd like to (which is a lot of the time).

10. I didn't start a real career until after my kids were born and I was forced to go back to work for financial reasons. I worked as a hostess/server in a bunch of restaurants, including a Korean place, which is where I truly fell in love with Korean food (kimchi is THE BEST), I tutored, and I was a stay-at-home mom for a few years but it was all kind of random till I had to go back and actually help support my family. I became an English-ELA and German teacher, and it's been great. Or at least teaching German has. I don't really like English, haha. But I have enjoyed becoming a professional educator and plan on teaching for a while before I try anything else.

Soo, anyway, I feel like that's my life story. Summed up in 10 facts. I love you all!

I'm tagging @kasiopea-star-wars , @mrsvioletwrites, @darth-ej, @commandercait, @joudoodles, @myreylolifestyle, @pride-and-prejudice-in-space, @my-name-is-jazzy-x, @boomdafunk, @psy-kylo-gy

[darcyfitz]

So hopefully you dont mind me asking this (if I'm being annoying please tell me to go the eff away) but any thoughts on what you want to see happen to Kylo in the next film/films? Also, I hope you're having a lovely day today! Thanks for following my random trash pit, lovely human!

Hi! I hope you're having a lovely day, too. You're not being annoying! Well, obviously I want Kylo to repent for his crimes as they are, either by doing something to help his mother and stop the First Order or something similar. I'd hate to think the only way to redeem himself is death (gulp), so I hope he can turn back to the light without dying. I really hope he can have some kind of happiness, since his early years were so confusing and heartbreaking. As a Reylo shipper, I'd hope he and Rey can fall in love and begin a new era of Force Users that are balanced. To be honest, I have no expectations, since nothing I want may come to pass. I have to just have faith that all will work out. If there will be a redemption arc, I hope it begins by the end of TLJ. I'd like to enjoy Episode IX watching Ben Solo come back to life. Don't get me wrong, I love Kylo Ren, too. Maybe as a 'Grey' Force User, he'll need a little bit of both. Thank  you for the ask! xoxo

[thewayofthetrashcompactor]

I'm not sure if you are stil doing this, or if you combine the prompts, but I was thinking 49 + 18 plus maybe a little 5 on the mix? ;)

Thank you so much anon! (and sorry this took so long, it ended up much longer than expected) This was a really cool challenge!

For fun, I also decided to work in Reydar for @reylofanfictionanthology‘s Reydar Month, so we’re hitting a diagonal on the bingo board with hacked, midnight, free space, med bay, and employee of the month, and then also ‘real talk with real folks’ and glasses just for fun.

Send me a number and I’ll write a short Reylo au fic (4, 8, 28, and 40 answered)

49. boss/intern au18. waking up with amnesia au and a little bit of 5. one night stand and falling pregnant au(and Reydar)

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot

Words: 3634/7563Rating: on that M/E line

(first part is below, entire thing is on ao3 so the people on mobile don’t hate me too much)

Kylo peeled his eyes open, feeling like they had been glued shut. A tiny crack revealed blinding white light, and he quickly closed them again. His head pounded and his ears seemed to be stuffed with cotton and ringing at the same time. He tried opening his eyes again, the pounding in his head getting loud enough to hear as he did. Still blinding. He stubbornly persisted, until the white resolved itself into a ceiling and walls. He flexed his hand. Something was stuck to it, but it seemed to move okay. Just his head then.

“Kylo?” A familiar voice came from his right. He instinctively turned towards it and winced. Neck too.

Gritting his teeth, he peered at the dark shape next to him. He was confused at first; her hair was down instead of up in her typical buns, and it looked like she had been wearing makeup, but he finally knew who it was.

“Rey,” he croaked, or tried to. His throat was too dry for him to even swallow.

(cont under cut)

Rey grabbed something from next to the bed. It clattered, and then she pushed something cold against his lips. He opened them in surprise. Rey’s fingers on his lips… She withdrew them too quickly for his fuzzy brain to fully appreciate the situation. He realized she’d given him an ice cube and wondered if he finished this one if she’d do it again.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, leaning over him anxiously.

He blinked in surprise, then thought about the question. Everything was vaguely achey, as far as he could tell around the drumbeat in his head. “Terrible,” he muttered around the ice cube.

She rolled her eyes. “I bet.” She sat back in the chair next to the bed. “You’re an idiot,” she told him.

He snorted, then winced again. “That sounds familiar.”

“It should. I’ve mentioned it a couple times tonight.” She was trying to look annoyed with him, but her hand still rested on the bed.

“What happened?”

For some reason, she turned slightly pink at that. She pushed another ice cube at him. Her fingers were warm against his lips, and he flushed as well. “What do you remember?” she asked, not meeting his eyes.

He closed his eyes and tried to think back. Everything hurt. Flashes of blurred scenes passed through his mind, but disappeared before he understood any of them. “I don’t know,” he finally said, frustrated. She was looking at him now, with a combination of exasperation and dismay. “What?” he asked with trepidation.

She huffed. “You fell down the stairs. Do you remember that?”

He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to concentrate around all the noise. Something - walking down the hallway, in his apartment? Just wearing his slacks, he was at the top of the stairs. Something fell down from the leg of his pants; it had been wedged against his knee - how had it gotten there? It was yellow and fluffy - his foot snagged on it, the stairs rushed forward, and his head gave a particularly painful throb. He raised the hand not attached to anything to press against his forehead. His eyes flew open when Rey’s hand covered his, both soft and callused.

“Do you want me to call the nurse?” she asked worriedly. “I can get her to come back if you need.”

“It’s fine,” he gritted out. His head throbbed again. “…maybe you should call her.”

Rey walked to the door and leaned out into the hallway. He rubbed his fingers against his eyes in an attempt to get the pounding to quiet. He jumped when he felt someone touch the lines attached to his hand. His eyes opened and saw an older, very tired looking woman in scrubs bending over him.

“You’re back with us then?” the nurse said as she checked him over.

“I guess,” he said uncomfortably, following her finger with his eyes.

She sighed. “Pity. I guess we’ll never know which of your daughters is going to grow up to be president.”

Kylo choked. “What?”

The nurse continued blithely with her tasks. “Oh, you must not remember. Once we finally got you to cooperate-” she cast him a look that gave him idea of just how difficult he’d been “-you were quite talkative about your future children.” She nodded at Rey. Kylo glanced over and saw she was flushing furiously red. He felt his own face heat.

“If I remember,” the nurse went on, either ignoring, or more likely enjoying his embarrassment, “you were insistent on two daughters, and one or two more, either girls or boys. You were very adamant that they would be smart and beautiful; that was repeated a few times. Let me think -” she paused while making notes on his charts “- I think you decided that they would have her features and your hair. You were just getting into their future careers when you finally fell asleep.” She smiled at them both. “Well, I think that’s all for me! Looks like you’re in good shape, though you’ll need monitoring for at least the next twenty-four hours. I’ll go talk to the doctor to get your discharge put through.” She left with a spring in her step.

Kylo chanced a look at Rey, who was looking determinedly at the wall, face still brightly flushed. “I - were you here for all of that?” he asked, feeling he knew the answer.

She nodded, still not looking at him. “Yeah, it was - it was fine though, you weren’t really yourself -”

He wondered if he could convincingly fall back to sleep and forget this as well. “Still - I’m sorry.”

“No, really, it’s fine.” She glanced at him quickly, giving him a brief smile. “It’s really the nurses you should be apologizing to, you were a right ass when they got you in. I think it ended up taking four of them to keep you from running off at one point. You’re lucky you have such good insurance.”

“If you stick around First Order, you could get the same deal,” he offered, with a tentative smile.

She shook her head, smiling back. “Nice try. I’ll get by on university health services for now; with any luck I’ll have something actually in my field by the summer. Poe knows a guy he’s going to introduce me to.”

He looked down at the sheets, then back up. “You’ll do great,” he told her sincerely.

“Yeah, I will.” She grinned at him.

His head pounded again, and he had another flash of - something, almost like deja vu.

The nurse came back, carrying a stack of forms. “Just a couple things for you to sign, then we’ll get you out of here,” she said brightly, seeming pleased by the idea.

Kylo took the sheets from her, signing on the lines she pointed out to him, not bothering to read the swimming words. He knew better than to sign things blindly, but he would have offered her quite a lot to escape from this confusing situation and get back to his apartment to pass out again on his own bed.

“Perfect,” the nurse said, once he had finished the final page, whisking the forms away. “I’ll leave this here for you.” She pulled a couple pages off and set them on the bedside table “You can get him ready to go, right?” she asked Rey, clearly not expecting an answer.

“Actually -” Rey started, but the nurse was already at the door.

Rey turned to him. “Um, your pants are here,” she said, gesturing to next to the bed. “I can help you -”

“I can get dressed on my own,” Kylo grumbled. The impact of her words suddenly hit him, and his brain finally registered a fact that had been lost in the mind-numbing pain: he was only wearing a flimsy hospital gown. He didn’t have so much as a pair of underwear on and was now uncomfortably aware of the sheets on his skin through the gap in the gown. His face burned.

Rey bobbed her head. “Just - let me know if you need anything. It’s not like I haven’t - “ she cut herself off, turning red again, matching him.

“Thanks,” he muttered. Then, embarrassed: “Could you-?”

“What?” Rey looked at him in confusion, then understanding dawned. “Oh, yeah, sure.” She turned towards the window. “Um, yell if you need help. Don’t hurt yourself again, please.”

Slowly, he swung his legs over the side of the bed. His head spun wildly, and he gripped the edge of the bed tightly to prevent himself from falling in either direction. He breathed slowly, trying to tamp down the rising nausea. He closed his eyes, letting the metal of the bed frame ground him. He thought about opening them, to check if there was a trash can by the bed, but it seemed like a bad idea.

“Kylo?” Rey’s voice was soft and came from next to him. Her hand settled lightly on his shoulder. “Come on, let me help you.”

Eyes still squeezed shut, he nodded. Her hand left, but she returned a moment later. His eyes flew open when he felt her hands on his feet. She was kneeling on the floor, his slacks in her hand, pulling them onto his legs.

“You don’t have to-” he protested.

“I think the nurse probably wants us out of here sometime today.”

Reluctantly, he conceded the point and let her continue. Not that there was a whole lot he could have done to stop her. She was mildly embarrassed, cheeks still pink, but efficient. He tried to draw from that and act as if it was a normal thing to have his intern help to dress him. It didn’t work. Rey reached the edge of edge of the bed, sliding his pants over the gown. “Here, stand up,” she prodded.

“I can do it,” he insisted again. He tried to stand, but barely got a few inches up before landing back on the bed. Rey pursed her lips.

“Lean on me,” she instructed.

Kylo tentatively placed his hands on her shoulders. They were narrow, but he could feel the muscles under his fingers as she helped him up. She pulled the pants up past his hips, slightly uncomfortable with the hospital gown still stuffed into them. He stared across the room, face blazing, as Rey’s hands fumbled at his stomach with the fastenings. Her head was just in front of his, bent down under his nose, and he told himself repeatedly how terrible of an idea it would be to lean closer. He was incredibly lucky she hadn’t walked out on him already.

She finished and took a step back. His hands fell from his shoulders and he started to sway, but she caught them. “They left a wheelchair; let’s get you to that,” she suggested. She led him across the room with his arm around her shoulder and hers around his back. He sat heavily down in the wheelchair and Rey fetched his paperwork. “You good?” she asked, positioning herself behind him.

“Besides the humiliation?” he muttered.

She snorted. “You’ll live.”

She rolled him into the hallway, stopping briefly at the nurse’s station. He did his best not to make eye contact with anyone. He attempted to busy himself by reading the papers he’d been handed, but trying to focus on the dancing words was not making him feel any better. He settled for glaring into the distance.

Rey came back and they continued through the waiting area and out the automatic doors. The brisk air bit into his skin under the thin gown, startling him into being slightly more alert. He folded his arms in front of him and tried not to shiver. Within minutes, a yellow cab pulled up. Rey opened the door and helped him into the backseat, then took her seat next to him. The driver looked back at them expectantly.

“Shit,” Rey muttered. She turned to him. “Do you remember your address?”

He ignored the instinctual annoyance and gave the driver directions. It was a perfectly reasonable question given the circumstances. He furrowed his brow.

“How did I get here?” he asked Rey.

“Ambulance. I wasn’t sure whether or not to move you; you hit your head pretty hard and I didn’t want to make anything worse.”

He nodded slowly. “You were - at my apartment?”

She turned pink again. “Yeah, you invited me.” She looked at him hopefully. “Do you remember?” He shook his head and her expression dropped. “It’s okay. The doctor said things might come back to you, but even if they don’t - it’s okay.” She sounded as if she was reassuring herself as much as him.

He nodded again and leaned his head back against the seat. He closed his eyes, thinking about the little bit he had remembered. Something about yellow…

-

Kylo nervously patted the blonde wig covering his dark hair, looking out over the crowd of people. Various colleagues filled the room, some he recognized, plenty he didn’t, in various states of inebriation despite the early hour. He was searching for one person in particular, and he found her in the shadow of a pillar, holding a drink and scanning the room. He adjusted his glasses and walked over.

Rey barely glanced at him as he approached, shooting him a look out of the corner of her eye, then returning to her search. He cleared his throat.

“Hi,” he said, the single word coming out somewhat strangled as he tried to alter his voice halfway through.

She glanced at him again, then looked away. “Hi.”

Kylo reminded himself that this was the point, she wasn’t supposed to recognize him like this. “I’m…Matt. From IT.”

This time her look was derisive. “So you’re responsible for the email system getting hacked last week?”

“No! Well, I guess, I mean…” She wasn’t looking at him anymore. “What do you do?” he asked desperately.

“I work under Kylo Ren, I mostly do data analysis.” Her focus was far from him. She leaned onto her tiptoes to try to see better, then settled back down again in disappointment.

“That must be pretty great,” he stammered.

She finally really looked at him, with raised brows. “Really?”

“Y-yeah, why not? He’s a great guy - or that’s what I’ve heard?”

Her eyebrows shot higher. “Who have you been talking to?”

“You know - people? Just some real talk…with some real folk?”

She gave a shocked laugh. “Well, you must have been talking to someone different than everyone else. Usually people’s first response is ‘you poor thing’ followed by ‘pay must be really good for that job’.”

He scowled. “I can’t imagine why people think working for m-him would be so terrible. It’s not like you’re working for Hux.”

She laughed again. “True. I’m not sure they could pay me enough for that.”

She went back to looking across the room. Hux stood on the small stage at the end of the room announcing the employees of the month for the year, like he was giving out awards for perfect attendance at an elementary school graduation. Kylo clenched his teeth as Hux gave another condescending smile to another winner from his own department. He turned back to Rey determinedly. “So…how is working for - Kylo Ren?”

She shrugged. “Not as bad as people assume.” She shot a glance at him. “Though maybe not as exciting as your…folk apparently think.” She half smiled. “He’s an ass, but I’ve figured out how to deal with him. They pay me enough to stay on for now.” She raised herself onto her toes again. “He was supposed to be here tonight,” she muttered.

“I’m sure he’s just busy,” he offered, feeling guilty. He had told her he would be there. This plan was a stupid last minute decision, inspired by passing a storefront on the way home. He’d seen the wig and been struck with the sudden inspiration for a way to get to know Rey outside of being her boss. He hadn’t even been sure he’d go through with it until he was standing with a mouth full of bobby pins in front of the mirror five minutes before leaving.

She snorted. “He probably forgot.”

“It’s New Year’s Eve, how could he forget that?” he asked, feeling mildly insulted.

She rolled her eyes. “I don’t know, probably got a last minute email and dropped everything to answer. Or the Wall Street Journal just published a really interesting article on the financial outlook for tin.”

He definitely felt insulted now. “I’m sure he has a good reason.” He hesitated. “Family emergency, maybe?” he offered, cursing himself as soon as he said it.

It seemed to work though. “Maybe,” she said, looking thoughtful. She turned towards him. “So how about you? Don’t you have more exciting things to do on New Year’s Eve than talk to work strangers at a company party?”

“…no.” That would have been true even if he hadn’t decided to come as ‘Matt’. “Don’t you?”

“Eh,” she said, shrugging. “I’ll meet up with friends later. Free food though, can’t pass that up.”

“Yeah.” He nodded, feeling more stupid with every passing minute. At least as Kylo Ren, Rey wanted to talk to him. Usually. He cleared his throat. “You’re still in college then?”

“Yup. Mechanical engineering, junior.”

“Yeah? How’s that?”

“Not bad. Work’s hard, but it’ll be worth it.”

He floundered. “So how’d you end up with First Order?”

Her shoulders bobbed in her sleeveless dress. “Needed a job to pay for school, and for all his quirks, Kylo lets me work around classes.” She hesitated, and Kylo could feel her reluctance to continue the conversation. “You?”

“I - I work in IT.”

Her eyebrows were back in the air. “Yeah, you said.”

“Well…I was looking for a job in IT. And they had one.”

“…really.”

“Yeah.” He coughed and clenched his hand in the stupid khakis he’d worn to stop himself from pulling on his hair. “So…working for Kylo Ren…not so bad?” Forget tugging the idiotic wig off, he was going to bang his head against the nearest wall until he could forget this whole exchange.

“…no, not so bad.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “You know, one of the things about working for him that I wouldn’t have expected to enjoy is watching him tear into people.” His eyes widened behind his glasses. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, there are some of them I feel bad for,” she continued, blithely ignoring his reaction aside from a quirk at the corner of her lips. “But there are some people who deserve it. Speaking of which, I think I remember your boss coming by the other day about the hacking thing.” She smiled pleasantly at him.

“Um…I guess he did.” She continued smiling at him and he cast around desperately for a way to continue the conversation that didn’t involve him giving up on the whole charade. “He sounds like my mother,” he said,

“…what?”

“You’d like her,” he said, babbling in a panic. “I mean - she’s very outspoken.” He could feel his cheeks turning bright red and knew his ears were burning. He was Kylo Ren, dammit, successful and intelligent, and he couldn’t even hold a five minute conversation with his assistant as a normal human being. He wondered how successful sprinting from the room would be. Rey also seemed to be looking for exit strategies. “She once strangled a man with his own tie.”

That got her attention, though she was still looking at him askance. “Really?”

He nodded, bobbing his head like an idiot. “Yeah. He ended up in the hospital, which was better than he deserved. The tie ripped though, or she might have finished the job.”

Her eyes were wide. “What happened?”

His mind raced. Had he told Rey about his mother? He didn’t think so, but he wasn’t sure. “She’s a - “ not a politician, something else “- lawyer, and this man was suspected of a string of crimes, including human trafficking. She’d helped gather evidence against him, and he came into her office to threaten her. She grabbed him by his tie and choked him until it broke. It was enough to knock him out until the police got there.”

Rey grinned. “She sounds amazing.”

He smiled. “She is. She led protests for years until she started working from inside the system.” He smiled humorlessly. “Then they kicked her out, so she’s back to banging on doors again.”

“What’d she get kicked out for? Threatening to do a judge in with his wig?”

He laughed, then grimaced. There was no way to tell her that without revealing himself. “Not quite. It’s a long story,” he hedged. “There was that time she had to go rescue Dad from the man she ended up strangling though.”

“Yeah?” Rey grinned up at him, and he was pretty sure he’d tell her anything.

The evening continued like that, with him telling her stories from his past, bringing up memories he hadn’t thought about in years. She talked to him a bit about herself as well, though she had little reason to open up to a stranger, something else he had neglected to think about. (Which assumed he had thought through this at all, which was a stretch.) They at least managed a normal conversation without him completely embarrassing himself again, that he could remember. No more than he normally did around Rey anyway.

He leaned his head further into the sticky pleather of the cab seat, trying to remember more. Like exactly how much he had told her about his family, a subject he’d avoided completely until she showed interest in it. His thoughts were too slippery though, and Rey’s voice broke through his reverie.

(Continued on ao3!)

[skywailer]

You should definitely poke around in the tags, there's so much awesome historical input that the history side of fandom has given us, along with so many good takes and headcannons. I'm really hoping that they'll include some flashbacks in the next movie, seeing as that's what everyone wants.

I have poked my head in a bit, trying to find blogs to follow and content to reblog, but not much because I’m already finding some hilariously backwards blogs that think reylo is trash but love nicky and joe... Reading is Fundamental.

At this point, I think I’ll just admire the pair on my own and enjoy what pops up on my dash. If you have any recs of blogs/posts to look at, send it my way!