#i'm fucking furious about a lot of the writing this season and in these last two eps in particular

[justanamesstuff]

Chapter 8

Seasons

Matty Healy x f!reader A/N: two more chapters and we're done with this story...craaazy! as i've said i'm not too sure about this chapter but i hope you like it guys. Keep in mind that this story originally writed it during 2020/2021..I've made A LOT of changes but the core of the story is one. Anyway, let me knowww <3 Warnings: ANGSTTTT, mention of disease, typos. Word count: 4 K

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< Chapter 7

Matty firstly felt the coldness of the morning before opening his eyes. Weather was all over the place, like his mind. Summer was around the corner, but the skies around England stayed grey and the wind cold. 

He moved, side to side, in the bed, groaning, because his head was pounding so hard. Why he drank so much the night before? A flash of images flew in front of his eyes.

He sat on his bed quickly, desperately. Matty felt dizzy, so he had to close his eyes again. The singer cringed at the memories. 

As fast as he sat up, Matty moved around looking for his phone. It wasn’t there to be found. The sheets engulfed him like a snake, making him end up on the floor with a big noise. That didn’t help his other achings.

Matty continued searching.

His phone was under the bed after all. Why the fucking device always ended up there? 

He unlocked it and his first impulse was to call Y/n. Matty anxiously waited, hoping she answered. She didn’t. The frontman looked at the time, it was almost lunchtime. How much did he sleep?

He dialled again.

The call ended up quicker than before. He tried again with the same result. Matty continued trying and trying, none stop. She was obviously avoiding him, he understood. Matty finally declined.

He just sat on the floor, staring at his phone on his right hand. He was sure she hated him by that point. 

It wasn’t like he thought he didn’t deserve her treatment, but Matty couldn’t think about it. He couldn’t picture Y/n not wanting to talk to him any more. Again, he deserved it, although it hurt his heart too much. Y/n was the love of his life, but first, it was his best friend, and he hurt her pretty much. Again.

Why did he keep hurting her when he promised not to? Why no matter how much he tried to be good he still managed to do wrong to her? He fucking deserved the treatment. 

Matty fidgeted with the phone in his hand. Should he call her again? She wasn’t going to answer. He didn’t seem it possible. 

What happened last night? Everyone was beyond angry or pissed with him. Matty was sure of that. He was angry at himself. He drove past the line by way too far. 

For what he could remember –which wasn’t that much–, Ross was disappointed, George ignored his bullshit completely –just for now–, Adam was furious and Y/n was another world to be explored. Her face would linger in his mind forever. The surprise, the pain, her sadness.

 He couldn’t help himself to think what Tom thought about it. What happened with Y/n and Tom after they left? They would probably be at Y/n’s flat, talking about her foolish best friend...or ex-best friend? 

Y/n was going to forgive him? He needed to know. He needed to talk to her. Pushed by the thought, he dialled again. The voice mail answered this time, and a couple of minutes later George opened Matty’s room door.

“Stop.” G said with a look that expressed more than his words, Matty analysed his friend’s face.

“What?” he placed his phone to his ear again. Fucking voice mail.

“That.” the drummer pointed to his phone and Matty understood right away.

“I need to talk to her.”

G didn’t hesitate saying, “She doesn’t want to talk to you right now.”

“I can picture why. But- I need to talk to her!” Matty whined.

“And tell her exactly what?” George said getting angry at Matty. The frontman looked at his friend without saying anything for a solid minute.

“That I’m sorry.” he looked down, embarrassed. George scoffed at his answer.

“You have to say way more than sorry to her...if you want her to forgive you,” he stated.

“I know. But- I need to talk to her.” Matty repeated like a broken record. 

“No.”

“You are not her.”

“But...she just texted and told me.”

A warmth woke up Matty’s body. “What?” he exclaimed. G said nothing. “Why is she telling you stuff? Why can’t she speak-?”

G interrupted his next words, “Because I don’t fuck her life all the time.”

“I don’t-”

“You know you do.” George exclaimed.

“Fuck you, George!” Matty shouted, standing from the floor. 

As fast as he managed to stand in both of his feet, he reached for new clothes so he could change after a quick shower. He had slept on his last nightclothes, he stank badly.

“What are you even doing?” the drummer asked, fearing his mate decided to storm off and run towards Y/n’s flat.

“I’m going to shower.”

“Why?” G inquired.

“Because I stink!”

“Don’t you even think about it.” G warned him, while Matty left his room going to the bathroom.

“Think about what?” the singer turned around.

G knew him better than believe his acting.“You know exactly what. She doesn’t want to see you at all.”

“I’m-”

“You’re not going to do anything, Matty.”

“I need to see her, to explain, to talk...I can’t-” he said desperately.

“You have to give her time.”

“You’re not her father!”

“I’m not. I’m her and your best friend. I don’t think it is a good idea for either of you to talk right now.”

Matty felt his eyes tingling with tears. “I don’t want to lose her.” Matty sadly admitted.

“I know, I kind of understand you. But- Hear me, please.” G dared to move closer, placing his hands on Matty’s shoulders. “You fucked it up pretty big last night. She is really hurt, and she didn’t even want me there.” George let him know a little bit more, just trying to make his best friend understand the situation.

“She doesn't want you? Fuck!” 

“Yeah, so...please stop calling her and don’t go. Wait for her to come around, okay?” Matty nodded, swallowing thick.

“Am I going to lose her?”

“I don’t know, Matty. You have to think about the risks of what you did last night before actually doing anything.” 

Matty only managed to detached his body from under G’s hands, entering the bathroom. 

He had to wait for her times. 

Once and for all he had to stop being the selfish dick he was. Y/n was the love of his life, his entire life almost since the moment he saw her stood for herself. She was worth the wait no matter if he died waiting. 

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The morning after the gathering at the boy’s house, Y/n woke up in the middle of her living room. Her back hurting like a b*tch, her neck very sore. She could feel the mascara that adorned her cheeks and the mess on her hair.

Although, nothing of her exterior could match what she was feeling.

Her entire body was cold due to the low temperatures, but not even sleeping without covers made her so stone cold as the pain in her heart.

She tried standing up slowly, her bones cracking at every move. Y/n reached for her phone on the coffee table. It was 10 am. Y/n didn’t believe she slept a single second because the weight in her eyes and the achings around her body were a sing of a tiredness she didn’t linked to a good night sleep.

Y/n unlocked the little device, no messages far from George and Adam asking how she was and some from the group chat before she and Tom arrived at the boy’s house. 

Tom

She already missed him. She opened their chat, readint the last messages about him apicking her up and loving words. Her heart sank on her chest. Y/n wanted him there to hold her and make the sadness go away. 

Y/n tried to call him one time, he didn’t answer. He probably was still asleep or avoiding her. Y/n didn’t want to be one of those people, but she looked at his last connection, he turned them off. 

Y/n moved around searching for a comfy place on her couch, chossing at the end the place she remember Tom sat on the night before. She curled in a little ball and started crying again. She needed his warmth around her, his contagious happiness. 

Tom was so right about her. She avoided her feelings for so long so when she had to face them, she had to face them all at once. That was painful so she preferred seeking the comfort of Tom in that case, who in reality was in excuse to not feel, to not go though her pain. He was so right about her..

She unlocked her phone again. She replied to George’s text with an emoji without expression and seconds after he was calling her.

“Hi.” she answered with a low voice.

“Hi, darlin’.” he said sweetly. 

“How are you?” she coughed trying to clear her voice.

“Fine, you?”

Her eyes watered again saying, “I don’t know.”

Y/n listened how G took in a sharp breathe. “Are you with Tom?” 

“No, he dropped me off last night and then he left…after we fought.” she told him.

“What happened?”

“I’m not so sure.”

“Did you guys bro-?”

“I don’t know. I mean, not officially but kind of.” Y/n started to cry a little.

“Oh, darling.” 

“It’s- I don’t know. I don’t know what to do or feel, G.” she whipped some tears from her face.

“Do you want me to go there?”

“No,no.” Y/n pushed her body up as if she could stop him even though he was kilometres away. “I- Don’t take it the wrong way but...I don’t want to see anybody right now.”

“It’s totally fine, love. Although, if you need anything let me know okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

“Do you wanna talk about last night?”

“Which part?” Y/n scoffed. “It feels like it wasn’t just one night, y’know?”

“Yeah, I can imagine.”

“I told Tom I used to have feelings for Matty.” she muttered out.

“Why?”

“I’m not sure. He asked about Matty and I- And I just told him.”

“What did he said?”

“Not so much, firstly he got angry...and then he was like done with the situation. He said he loved me, but then he left me.” Y/n chocked on a cry.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to go there? I can promise you to make myself almost invisible. You know I can do that.” George offered again.

“I really appreciate it, but no thanks, G. I need to sleep and be alone for a little.”

“Okay. Can I call you tomorrow?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Good. Well, take care! I love you and I’m here if you need me.”

“I know…I love you so much.”

“You should date me, I’m less dramatical.” Gmade her laugh a little.

“Oh god, I don’t believe that…not even for a second!”

“Rude!”

“Bye, George.”

“Bye, Y/n/n.”

Y/n left her phone on the coffee table. She could feel the tiredness coming back. As she told George she needed to sleep and be alone. Y/n needed to wallow in her sadness for a little.

She believed she managed to sleep for an hour before her phone went off. Thinking the person calling was George she reached for it quickly, but she got disappointed pretty fast when the person’s ID was ‘Matty’. Y/n just looked at the screen, wondering if she wanted to answer or not. She was sure she didn’t want to talk to him.

He hung up, but then Y/n saw how he called her again and again. Every time she just declined the call. At the 10th call, she texted George asking him to make Matty stop.

Some part of her, deep deep down, wanted to answer and scream at him. Y/n wanted to shout and also asked him so many questions. Why he did it? Why he fucked her life so easily? 

Another big question was about what in fact he asked her last night. What does that question meant? Y/n really tried to think about it, but not even one idea that came to her mind made sense. Because as a friend, as her best friend, it was everything so childish. Also, the tint of his voice sounded so deeply wounded. No matter how much he had hurt her, she still worried about his feelings. Y/n felt stupid.

Y/n couldn’t even start to think that he had some feeling beyond friends. Like, two months ago he was deeply in love with another girl, and he never ever gave Y/n a single reason to think that he liked her excluding the first states of their relationship and little moments here and there. Was she so deeply into her own feelings and making herself believe that he didn’t want her when in fact was the opposite? ‘No,no, it was impossible. Was it?’  

With the events from the night before and the unknown state of her relationship with George, she didn’t want to go down that road. Because going there meant that all of what happened was about two stupid and so self-centred people, hurting others because they tried to maintain something that bloomed to be so much more, but they got scared, and they avoided it. Matty and her avoid talking because they feared losing each other when in fact they were doing exactly that.

Trying to distracted her mind, Y/n found herself reaching for the little device for the hundred time. She wondered about calling Tom. He said he was going to reach later or something like that. Maybe, she had to give him time. She knew that the relationship was over, the solo thought of that made her cry again. Why she loved the wrong man? Was he the wrong man? Weren’t they, Matty and Y/n, so perfectly bad for each other?

Three years with so many mixed feelings. Everything bad thing that happened, every fight, the people they hurt…everything because they couldn’t be enoughly grownups and face the fucking point. All with the stupid excuse that they didn’t because they wanted to maintain a friendship. 

They were toxic and they were stupid. Y/n knew that they had to talk but at the moment she wasn’t ready to even looked at his face. She wasn’t ready to the real talk they were going to have this time. Y/N knew that was going to happen soon but for the time being she needed her time alone.

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Two weeks later…

The weeks after the dinner were odd, strange, rare, uncomfortable to the top. The boys didn’t say much to Matty, that was even worse for him than them shouting how stupid he was. Meaning they were more than disappointed with him. 

George, Ross, and Adam treated Matty the necessary not more, not less. Even though he knew Adam was the angriest and he wanted to punch Matty, scream how stupid he was and more. The guitarist told him not to do it, but Matty never listened. The frontman acted like a child you tell not to eat grass and you’re 100% sure they are going to do exactly that. He somehow knew the consequences of his actions, he knew what he could do to hurt Y/n, to piss the boys, he knew and even though he continued with it. Adam was right to be angry.

The problem Adam had is all the promotion he had to do with Matty for the next album. Jamie and the label thought that it was a good idea to control Matty during interviews. Adam wanted bad to decline but everything was arranged and he wasn’t going to disappoint their management, the band, and everything he stood for just because Matty was a complete idiot. He would maintain the distances and just let Matty talk as it was planned. Simple. Or that was he thought.

Matty, on the other hand, was beyond anxious. Having to do interviews and speak about the record and the process when everything going on at the minute and the fact that he didn’t know anything about Y/n was driving him insane. 

He wanted to ask about her many times, but he was sure no one was going to tell him a single word. Matty couldn’t say there were sides, even though it felt like they were taking Y/n’s side in a way. He didn’t blame them, Matty would probably do the same. 

……………………………………..

Adam tried to do his job the best he could but at the same time, every interview felt like a never ending conversation. Sitting beside Matty, hearing him talk so normally and carefree boiled Adam’s blood. He loved his friend to pieces this time was something else. The guitarist acknowledged it wasn’t exactly his problem -in fact, it wasn’t, just Matty and Y/n’s- but he involved himself in some way. 

Adam’s prayer came quicker than he expected. One morning during a quiet time, a call interrupted his entire life. 

His girlfriend’s mother was in a bad medical condition and she was not only asking for him to be there, she was even demanding it. Adam being the good and generous man he was accepted at the same time he wanted to scream at the top of his lungs since he had to find a replacement. Ross and George were at the other side of the sea working on side projects. The idea of finding a personal assistant crossed his mind but with such short notice he didn’t had time to find one. He had to speak with Jaime and face the situation.

When the call ended, a repeated question filled his mind ‘what should I do?’ 

He pulled from his short hair thinking. Maybe, he could call George and beg him or Ross. No, he knew they were really busy and compromised with the work they had been doing. 

Suddenly another name was pushed into his front lobe. 

No, he couldn’t do that to her. Even though he was in a hurry, as soon as he could find someone he would be travelling to his hometown, to his girlfriend who needed him. He must found someone trustful and that one was Y/n. She knew how to manage Matty like no one else.

Maybe, he could just call Y/n and asked her. Tell her what he was avoiding Matty as much as possible while still doing his job. He felt selfish, although the situation was demanding him a quick solution. He didn’t lose anything to just try.

After staring at his phone for three solid minutes, he dialled Y/n’s number. He hoped she answered it. He prayed she answered but after a couple of seconds, the line died. Fuck.

Adam tried again and again, but every time she declined. Probably she thought that Matty was calling or something like that. He texted her instead.

‘Y/n, I’m Adam. I really need to talk to you. It’s kind of urgent.’

Five minutes later, Adam’s phone was ringing.

“Hi.” he said, breathless like if he just ran a marathon.

“Hi, what happened? Are you okay? Is he okay?” she asked fast and worried.

“Yeah, yeah. We’re okay, nothing happened.”

“Fuck, Adam! You scared the shit out of me!” Y/n exclaimed.

“I’m sorry.”

“Well, what was all the urge about?” 

“Okay, first, please know that if I had someone else to ask this to,  I would…please believe me.“ he explained.

“You’re scaring me again, Hann.” 

“Sorry, I just don’t know how to say, to ask this…and I know you’re going to hate me but please, I need this favour.”

“Please, said something clear to me because I’m so fucking lost.” 

“Here’s the thing. Carli’s mother is in a bad state and I have to be there, Y/n.“

"I'm so sorry to hear that Hann...but what does that have to do with me?

Hann took a big breath before just asking, “I need you to replace me as some type of personal assistant to keep Matty under control during interviews.” Y/n remained silent, making Adam panic. “Please, believe me…I tried to think about another good substitute but no one is better than you or knows him better.”

“Your compliments won’t work, Adam.” Y/n voice was sharp as a knife.

“I’m not trying to. I’m being honest with you.” she sighed.

“You know I can’t. Not right now.”

“I know you can. Hear me out.” He said when she protested. “I’m 100% sure that you’re not fine and with everything that happened you have absolutely the right to say no. Although, I’m 200% sure that you’re the most qualified person to deal with his stupid ass, and you’re such a professional, Y/n. I’ve been doing this interviews with him for two weeks and I almost didn’t talk to him. You can do it, and I know I’m being selfish…Carli needs me.” Adam’s state ended with a sob falling from his mouth.

“It’s too soon, Hann.”

“Yes, but…”

“How is he?” she inquired suddenly.

“I’m not so sure, I didn’t talk too much because he- “he started to say.

“He’s your best friend” Y/n stated.

“How could you defended him, after- Sorry, not my place. I- He’s bad, he’s moody and trying to focus on work, but it’s difficult. I know he wants to ask about you, but he’s retaining himself as much as he can.” 

“When am I supposed to be there if I accept?” Y/n asked defeated.

“Next interview is in three days. BBC radio 1.”

“For how long?”

“Probably until the end of the month.”

“Shit.”

“I’m so deeply sorry, Y/n!”

“Stop, I understand. I’m just doing this for you and Carli, okay?

“Yes, yes. I’m deeply thankful with you! I own you a big one.”

“So, I don’t have to be too much time with him?”

“No, if you don’t want to. You know the job, and I suppose Jaime, the management team, are going to tell you more details. I’m going to call him right away after we hung up, okay?”

“Fuck, I don’t know what I’m doing but…okay.”

Hann felt guilt filling his chest, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I know that I can walk away any moment I want.”

“Yes, that would cause a big mess but yeah.”

“And I’ll talk to him and clear this just a bit. I’m not ready to actually talk about what happened but just letting him know that I need to do my job and this time he can’t mess with me.”

“Yeah, I totally agree.”

“Fine. Then, arrange all this and let me know, ya’?”

“Yes. Thank you so much, Y/n!”

“Don’t worry. Please hug Carli for me and I’m here if you need anything else.”

“I will, I promised. I’ll return it somehow.”

“Don’t mention it, Hann.”

“So…how are you?” Adam asked.

“I don’t know really. These weeks have been…a lot.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Tom and I broke up.”

“Shit Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“Yes..”

“Do you want me to punch Matty for ya’ before I go?” he offered.

“No, for now, let him be.”

“That’s a big risk.”

“Yeah,” she said sadly. “How are you?”

“I’m fine, worried but fine.”

“I get it.”

“Well, I gotta go now. I’ll send you the details, and again thank you so much!”

“Shut up, Hann. Go and support your family.” 

“Bye, Y/n.” Adam said, and she just hung up.

Adam ended the call with his soul aching a little. He didn’t know if he was making the right move, or he was making everything worst. He would have to wait and pray.

Y/n on the other hand was unbothered. Which was rare due to all she had to face. Getting the job was a big opportunity for her, but being close to Matty after everything was too much.

During those weeks she felt kind of death inside, at the same time she waited. For what? She wasn’t sure.

Nothing was sure and for the time being, she would focus on her work. On being the professional that Hann described, and she knew she was. 

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Taglist: @sinarainbows @eaglestar31 @sugarkane1001 @brittluvs1975

Chapter 9 >

[morethansky]

As promised, my thoughts on Tech's fate.

If you think they changed their minds about revealing Tech to be alive, you might not want to read this. I'm not trying to debate or dissuade anyone; this is just my personal take.

Also, please be forewarned that this is quite Hunter critical. I love to write the man, but god, he’s so bad for my blood pressure.

This is still such a hard thing for me to talk about. To be honest, I ducked out of the TBB fandom between the time when i finished “i keep what i can of you” and S3 started because it felt like I couldn’t say what I thought without either hurting the people who thought Tech was dead and were traumatized or inciting the wrath of those believed he was alive, some of whom got so haughty and/or oddly hostile whenever any other possibilities were stated in their vicinity. It seems that after I left, the opposite started happening too? The hellish fandom ouroboros.

Anyway, so here are my unfiltered thoughts, because I might explode if I don't write them down. After I watched “Plan 99,” I thought Tech was dead, and I was extremely traumatized and hysterical about it. I remember that night I couldn’t sleep, and I stayed up till morning trying to process the sense of betrayal I felt and figure out what to do with the sweet little WIP I had been working on, which was about Tech and Wrecker facing the concept of death for the first time. (I have now rewritten it to be much darker but for Tech to live, and as CX-2, so I hope that proves I mean well with this post.)

Because it’s me and it’s media, I was not only traumatized but also furious. To be frank, I’m not usually this deeply affected by character deaths. I have written a lot of major character death fics and grief/mourning is a component of like 60 percent of my writing. In fact, when character deaths are done well, I think they’re fantastic. The worthy, well-done ones can make the characters shine even more brightly.

That is not the case here. Tech dies for literally nothing. The protagonists don’t achieve anything at all from it besides returning to square one, less a member. They don’t find the coordinates to Tantiss. They don’t find anything about who Hemlock is or what the Advanced Science Division does. They don’t overhear any vital intel from the meeting with all the Imperial bigwigs. They don’t gain any insight from Saw. They don’t even find out whether Crosshair was actually in captivity and whether his saying Plan 88 was him laying a trap for them or not.

And that is some of the worst messaging I’ve ever seen in a Y-7 American action cartoon. And believe me, I’ve watched a lot of them.

Allow me to beat the dead horse one last time. Finally, after two entire seasons of the show, a member of the main cast is like, “Hey, remember how Crosshair used to be one of us? Even if he kind of sucks, shouldn’t we help him? He did just try to warn us.” And I was ECSTATIC. Didn’t expect the autistic character to be the one to be like, no, fuck you, we should do the right thing no matter the risk (autistic characters are so often morally gray and it’s so frustrating), but I loved it so much! That’s me!!

…And then he literally dies because he wanted to do the right thing. Hunter, the character who does not want to help people, who rejects the idea of going to Eriadu and has to be convinced otherwise, IS PROVEN CORRECT. What the ever-loving fuck is that messaging? That’s right, kids—if you selflessly try to help other people, you’ll be killed. So maybe don’t bother, actually. And this show just underlines that message over and over again! The only people who matter are those you consider family. Everyone else can rot. In fact, people who are willing to risk their lives to help people are foolish and idealistic. The things Hunter says to Echo are repeatedly so fucked up ("When will it be enough?" Dude wtf???), and it's nuts that the show doesn't offer Hunter's narrow-minded perspective as a contrast to Echo's determination to do the right thing—it offers Echo as a contrast to Hunter's motivations to retire (which we understand because when the two of them split up, we follow Hunter instead of Echo—and not even in addition to Echo! He only shows up again because he's visiting Hunter's story!).

That’s straight-up American conservative ideology. I will never not be pissed at them for making the fucking deuteragonist—and a clone character at that—like that. And in Star Wars! The franchise that is overwhelmingly and consistently about fighting fascists! Made by the company founded and based in the Bay Area, the most progressive region of the country!!!

To be frank, I almost turned the TV off right then. But I thought, okay…a horrible way to get to it, but…maybe now is the moment? Maybe now they’ll finally join Echo and Rex, and be super determined to find Tantiss and Crosshair and the many other clones whose designations were on the roster—to complete the mission that Tech so passionately insisted on before he sacrificed himself.

BUT NO! Hunter immediately pressures Omega into going to Pabu. And why wouldn’t he? The narrative proved him right! By trying to do the right thing, Tech died. So we’ll just go back to ignoring the suffering of countless beings across the galaxy, including our own kind. Millions of straight-up metaphorical versions of us. Cool.

And then Omega gets captured. So because Tech wants to do the right thing, he dies, and because Omega agrees with him, she gets taken away. And then suddenly Hunter puts away Pabu entirely and becomes super gung-ho about finding her. Which is just…why did they write him like this. Why did they even have the conversation about Pabu?? Leaving it out would have made Hunter's motivations flow so much better. Because by introducing that, they invite the crucial question: Why was that what it took for him to stop running but losing Crosshair and Tech didn’t??? Because he only cares about this one child's well-being and it's his single motivation as a character???

A contingent of Crosshair fans have seemed to vocally dislike Hunter from the start because he left Crosshair, and I’m like no, you don’t understand. It’s not about the character, it’s about the writing. In some cases, it does end up being the character rather than the writing, and you can usually tell because the writing condemns that in the character. Not here though! Hunter's decisions throughout the show are celebrated by it. And Hunter gets his way, as we see now with them retiring on Pabu and ignoring the fight even as "the Rebellion needs pilots now more than ever." Thank god the finale at least posited that Echo was also right, which is kind of like the bare minimum they could've done in that regard.

So Tech’s death hit me particularly hard because it felt like just a waste of two entire episodes, a waste of an enjoyable character they had just given some really poignant depth, and a waste of the chance to give Hunter the character development I was desperate for—and also like a betrayal, a slap in the face, because it was like the show was saying that heroes are stupid, that Tech was foolish for wanting to do the right thing. Which is nuts given the rest of the SW animated oeuvre. And is fucking hurtful. And bad for kids.

So when the theories about Tech’s survival started floating around that night, I thought, okay, yeah, maybe this was such a stupid death and waste of screen time because it’s to set up something really cool. I could get behind that, even if the entire setup would still be faulty and honestly kind of repulsive to me.

I engulfed everyone’s theories in those weeks I spent mourning, desperate to be convinced—but as much as I wanted to believe there was a plan at work, I just couldn’t buy it 100 percent because…would the people who wrote this awful arc, and who made all the oddest choices possible at any given time throughout both seasons thus far, really intend to set up and execute something so well thought out and complex?

Of course not. People kept being like, “We have to trust the writers. They have a grand plan. They wouldn’t just throw away Tech. It would be ableist, and that’s why he’s not dead.” Like??? The show was already ableist! One of the main characters is disabled and his being disabled is specifically relevant to why he’s even in this squad and in this show—and it’s never remotely discussed! The closest is the most oblique reference ever to how Echo doesn't like to be alone. That's it. Just because they actually managed to write this wonderful moment about Tech being autistic doesn’t mean their track record was suddenly irrelevant! Killing off their neurodivergent character is exactly the kind of ableist shit they would do! And see now: Crosshair's hand. Also Echo suddenly having a hand after not having one for so long and it being completely untouched upon. It's par for the course!

So the Tech Lives theories all hinged on the writing being really clever, but I just. Already hated so much of the writing, and it felt way more likely that they were just continuing to be bad writers and continuing to go with the poorer plot choice option every single time they had the opportunity to go a direction that would be thought provoking and emotionally affecting.

I felt very much and very sadly proven right when the season started, and we got no mention of Tech being dead until the FIFTH episode. The Batch never talked about Crosshair and why he tried to kill them, so I guess why would they talk about Tech dying, sigh. And it was so bizarre how people were arguing that Omega and Crosshair's little exchange about Tech was super touching and gave us everything we needed. It absolutely did not! The fact that we couldn't agree on whether Crosshair even knew tells you everything you need to know about the wacky writing choices! Why was it so vague?? They literally could have added one word:

Crosshair: Did they teach you plan 72? Omega: Mm-hmm. Tech had me memorize all the plans, before... Crosshair: Of course he did.

On that note, I began to feel uneasy about the fandom again, because it started feeling like an echo chamber, and I was worried everyone was getting too hyped about something that might not happen, and even if it did, might end up being some kind of poorly done fanservice. I started seeing a lot of defensive posts being like, “Well, the reason they’re not mentioning Tech is because he’s not dead, and you’re an idiot, unlike me, if you’re falling for their sneaky tricks.”

Like??? The prevalence of ride-or-die sentiments like that started making me feel like I was losing my grip on reality and watching a completely different show from everyone else. Wouldn’t the dramatic effect of Tech being alive be strengthened by the characters all mourning him, thus making us mourn him, thus making the plot twist that he’s alive even more effective?? Wouldn't the characters being shown to be affected by his death instead of just ignoring it be the most promising sign of his impending return?

To me, the characters not mourning Tech meant that the writers had put him aside and moved on (which is, again, terrible writing because it doesn’t give the viewers the space to grieve and then move on, and it makes the characters feel terribly heartless, which, well. At least they were consistent). And that blasé moving on made the possibility of him being dead WAY more likely to me. Of course they would kill their neurodivergent character and then just all but pretend it didn't happen. Of course they would act as if he had just been a convenient plot device! Of course they would only bring him up and act like they missed him when he wasn't there to miraculously do the characters' work for them and the writers' work for them! Fuck that so hard.

So then “Infiltration” and “Extraction” were a big surprise! I was like, oh, huh, guess I was totally wrong and they’re really doing it, wow. Okay, let’s see if they can actually pull it off. I liked the writing a lot better this season, so it felt more plausible that they were finally getting down to business. The fact that the clues felt so heavy handed was kind of weird to me, and I complained a lot about there not being red herrings, but I love a good Came Back Wrong story, so I was willing to believe I had been too pessimistic and cynical, as I often am.

After “Bad Territory” and “The Harbinger,” however, I started doubting it again. Fitting both this M-count mystery that had already taken up so much screen time plus a Tech Lives mystery just felt like a lot of ground to cover, and this was the show that couldn’t even seem to fit more than five seconds of the main characters being sad about the death of their squad mate. Did they really have what it would take to pace it?

Of course not!!!

After “Point of No Return,” I started to feel like if they did bring Tech back, it would be at the cost of it being done poorly. And to me, for his purported death AND his resurrection to be badly written would be way worse than just the former. And the draw of the whole Winter Soldier deal is the fallout; the guilt and doubt the characters harbor; the way they have to reckon with the fact that even if their loved one is back, they will never be the same again, because they did die in a way—and the less time allotted after a reveal like that, the fewer of those key things there would be, which would just make it feel so tacked on for cheap shock value and social media chatter. Especially because there had been so little buildup to such a thing at the beginning of the season. These writers' abilities are just not remotely close to Ed Brubaker's, y'all.

Then Rampart being introduced afterward felt like the death knell (oop) because it was a new plot thread they would need to wrap up by the end. But the Clone X thread was still dangling, so I felt like it wasn’t out of the question. But I guess after my complaints about the Tech connections being too obvious and there needing to be more red herrings, it turned out that the Tech connections themselves were the red herrings.

Although I feel like that's probably even giving the writers too much credit. I don't know if I really believe they were trying to mislead us. I feel like they just clumsily ended up doing things that coincided with the Tech Lives theories. Like I honestly wouldn't be surprised if when they used "domicile" it was completely without realizing they had previously had Tech say it and that this would lead to the viewers drawing an erroneous conclusion. They probably just wanted CX-2 to say something fancy and mysterious tbh, and the same words tend to float in writers' minds. Rip us.

I guess now I understand what I could never work out—if CX-2 was Tech, then why did he so specifically use rifles like Crosshair does and so proficiently, i.e. specifically better than Crosshair did? Why wouldn't he dual wield hand blasters?

Also, although I was in some ways relieved that at least they didn't write a bad resurrection for Tech, and there's absolutely no way it wouldn't have been shit if it'd just been shoved anywhere in the last three episodes, all this is not to say the Clone X concept didn't end up being super hamfisted as well. Just the fact that there are other Clone X types with different weapons and uniforms makes the concept even more confusing. Clearly these guys were meant to mirror the Batch, but then why did all the ones we encountered before CX-2 wear the same uniform as him?? Did they sort the clones into categories of which Clone X they would be? It would actually be cool if the point was to sow fear in the galaxy because it would seem like the person in the CX-2 suit was undefeatable, especially because they were completely covered and their build would be the same every time. But that would be too cool and coherent for this show, sigh.

Also, was Hemlock project managing them, or was Scorch? Neither really makes sense, but who was sending them after Rex's rebel cell? Was there a military higher-up giving the Advanced Science Division that directive? Why did CX-2 and the one that Rex's cell captured hate Crosshair so much? Why the fuck did CX-2 cut off his hand???

Anyway. I could go on forever, but I think at the end of the day, we all read too much into it because we are just collectively better writers than the writers are tbh. Sadly, a classic fandom experience. I guess what ultimately saved me the most from heartbreak and allowed me to earnestly enjoy the finale was that I had already spent a year believing Tech had died and suffered through my grief (by, you guessed it, writing a grief/mourning fic), and I just couldn’t shake the feeling that there was no way these writers could pull off something so emotional and complex. I swear I didn’t actually want to be right!

I think if nothing else, one thing we can all agree on is that Tech surviving could’ve been one kickass story, and it was a hell of a missed opportunity.

[absolutely-wretched]

the twilight reveal (my dissertation)

I'm back on the Buffy comics train and just finished the second to last volume of season 8 for the first time since 2020 and here we goooooo (read more so if you want to hurt yourself physically and emotionally with spoilers you can, but you have an out.)

Twilight's mask comes off. I remember this. I don't remember it in detail, but my head instinctively goes into my hands. The trauma. The pain. The cringe. I've never felt so betrayed by Joss until I read the single worst thing he's ever written. and it hurts, just like in 2020. except not i'm reading it with my fiance and it compounds the cringe.

Spike got his SOUL BACK FOR YOU. He died for YOUR CAUSE. And just like when Angel comes back to give her the amulet, it all goes out the window for captain fucking forehead and I'M PISSED. Not to mention the most painful sex I've ever had to witness. Painful in the sense of cringey. Also, is Buffy possessed by Twilight too? Because why in all fuck would she be superpower fucking her ex just because he says "don't you want to be happy?". He's not acting normal at all, and all of this is bombastically weird and makes very little sense and Buffy just does it without questioning it? Let's live in our own microuniverse? WHY?????? Help? Why? Joss what were you going through when you wrote this??? I couldn't have come up with something worse when I was writing fanfiction at 14. I know that's the worst hurdle in the comics but damn. At least there's swearing in the comics, though, I'm not complaining that, it's very realistic.

Okay and why is NO ONE concerned about angel losing his soul??? Everyone knows it's happening and no one asks. Buffy doesn't ask. I'm screaming at the pages for someone to ask bc I'm asking and it makes no sense. the chill days of me defending the writing choices of buffy and satsu and taking mecha dawn in comedy stride are over. what in the absolute fuck. I hate it so much.

so then we get to buffy rejecting this INSANITY finally and that's cool. fuck destiny and all that. there's my girl. my selfishly driven girl (and no, that's not a chracter trait the comics invented, i could write a dissertation on buffy's character flaws from the show, they just seem to be amplified in the comics). dawn is actually the only one who seems to be questioning everything so i'm now team dawn. and xander rejecting buffy. i like xander a lot in the comics.

The best thing about this volume is this:

But I fear, since it's the end before the last volume, that i will be SO FURIOUS about a lot of things said and done in the issues cooming up, since we will have Spike and Angel and Buffy all in the same room together, and I really hope they don't do to Spike what they did in s5 of Angel which is downplay how great he is to make captain boredom look better in comparison.

and GOD i miss lynch so much. i'm not sure if it's the people writing joss's ideas or writing with joss, because I know lynch wrote after the fall but it was joss's story, so I'm thinking maybe the people writing the comics might have made it worse (even if joss's story BEATS for this was already bad). I at least know whoever storyboarded made a god damn mess of it, because half the time i couldn't figure what was going on based on the drawings in the panels.

ALSO I had this rant in the tags once about how much it bothered me that they took away Spike's black nail polish after he got his soul, genuinely annoying me that something so iconic was ripped from his design. so YAY for the return of the nail polish! Keep it!

[cleverthylacine]

I just saw your post, and I also just watched Episode One and was absolutely furious about it. I've been looking forward to this season!

I was so into the thought of new baby Terrans! I was thrilled at the idea of Breakdown having a kid! That sounded awesome! Even with Aftermath giving me immediate Motormaster vibes, I was initially hopeful being like, Okay, maybe the Emberstone Theory about who last touched it affecting the creations is true.

Maybe Breakdown being in Menasor is going to be brought up.

Maybe we get to see Breakdown dealing with raising a baby Stubticon a la their G1 more wild personalities, and he gets to give them the parenting he didn't get.

Maybe it's going to be continuing the family and breaking abuse cycle themes. That could be cool. Let Aftermath have a rougher personality, but be a good kid. Let other Cons get babies, too.

But I got immediate ick with the descriptions of the "Chaos Terrans," by Alex. It makes no sense. And how they are "corrupted". What?! Hated that.

Me and my Roomie spent the entire time going "BUT WHY???" with the opening! I wanted to see the Cons and Bots working together! The relationships built last Season were fun! THAT WAS ALL THE FUN STUFF!

I loved Hashtag & Starscream and Tarantulas & Nightshade! So much was unpacking different trauma from the war on both sides.

Everyone has issues! Explore them! Continue the theme of not passing on your trauma to your kids and healing and a new generation without war! Getting the future, they all wanted just not how they wanted it!

And the Quintessons would have been a great villain! Especially with all the mucking about Quintus did and their call out with the Sharkticons! AND IN EPISODE TWO THE EVEN PLAY WITH IT BY DIRECTLY CONNECTING THE FACT THAT A QUINTESSON EXECUTIONER WAS ON THE HUNT FOR QUINTUS! WHY WOULD THEY NOT JUST USE IT!

THE DECEPTICONS COULD HAVE GONE FULL SANCTUARY STATION! IT WAS RIGHT THERE!

Sorry to rant, but your criticism was similar to my own! And now I am on the edge of pulling a full V.O.S. of my own on Earthspark. I am just gnashing my teeth at this. I have to write an Alt-Season Two or I'll scream. Worst part is this was supposed to be a treat for a stressful day. 😭

ACK how do I spoiler cut the ask itself?

Welp, I'll put a spoiler tag on it, hopefully people are filtering those.

*hugs*

Man I get it, you just got mad, didn't you? I watched it and I just got madder and madder and madder.

I guess I'm gonna have to steal some characters. Go write your alt-season-2. Make it RavWave and I'll love you forever.

I wanted Hashtag to bond with Star so fucking much. And Tara and Nightshade. I love Nightshade and Hashtag, tbh I'm not that interested in Twitch and Thrash.

I don't understand why they did any of this. A lot of people in places like TFW2005 were complaining about how "woke" they thought it was, maybe they decided to go back to G1, but holy fucking crap it just sucks. I'm not going to watch the rest of it. I might watch the episodes that Ravi and Wave are in, maybe, just to like, SEE them. But maybe not. I don't want this.

The thing about "pulling a VoS" is that it will grow. I thought I was going to write a story where Ravage left the Lost Light, went home to Soundwave, and everything was, well, not 100% fine, but as fine as it ever is in IDW. @sharkteethies and I were joking about how Ravage would get to be Prom Queen and Starscream would maybe mope a little (the Prom Queen jokes come from there, but I gave them to Swerve because Swerve.)

But then as things happen they snowball. Maybe you don't have to be like me and shove every character you ever loved from the rest of the franchise into one AU (they are all there because they fill a need though). But whether you do that or not, you eventually have to go into the past to figure out why things worked out different this time.

(I got to cheat some because briefcase.)

VoS gets very dark and "Every Day Is A Winding Road" is particularly bleak in places, but it has to get dark so the sun can rise.

[showyoumyfavoriteobsession]

long-ass tl post below. i'm not trying to start shit i'm just venting bc i've been thinking about this episode for like 12 hours today lol

man. anyway. there were definitely good moments in the finale but I was just so disappointed by the execution of almost all of the storylines' conclusions.

I want to start off that I'm not particularly broken up by any of the ships we thought would happen not happening in and of themselves, but the way we got jerked around this season for all of these storylines to have no real resolution is really frustrating.

The Roy/Keeley/Jamie triangle is a big one for me. We spent all of this season developing all of their characters individually, focused on Roy and Jamie becoming friends (which was great and one of the strongest parts of the season!), and then we wrap it up with... a literal fistfight and shitty, sexist pronouncements of ownership? Taking the foundations of their relationships, the things they've been working on for three seasons - trust, communication, accountability - and just throwing it out the window? And for what?

The Beard/Jane thing makes me absolutely furious. This is the plot thread that makes this finale feel the most rushed and shoehorned, as if they were planning to go somewhere else and just didn't have time. What was the fucking point of Beard After Hours if they were heading towards this shit the whole time

(I do think that montage at the end was supposed to be a dream, but Beard leaving the plane for Jane wasn't!! And if Ted was imagining Beard and Jane being happy together forever that's still pretty fucked up!!)

What was the fucking point of the Zava storyline. What was the fucking point of the Jack storyline. What was the fucking point of the Shandy storyline. What was the fucking point of the Tish storyline. What was the fucking point of Trent's book

(i edited that above bullet like three times while writing the rest of this post because i kept remembering other storylines that went nowhere lol)

Ted himself was giving absolutely nothing during this episode. I thought he was being quiet and reserved because he was bottling up to have a breakdown of some kind towards the end, but he just seemed... empty. Even his final speech to the team felt distant. I couldn't tell if he was conflicted about leaving, happy about leaving... I get the future was supposed to be ambiguous, but I couldn't even tell if he would ever want to go back to Richmond for a visit.

It's been pointed out before (and I agree) that the actor playing Henry is... not the best. He's very flat in a lot of the emotional scenes that he's in, and it made it harder to believe that he really missed Ted that much, especially in 3x08, which was probably supposed to be an important link in that storyline. But I can't blame him for everything - there hasn't been a lot in the script for him, so Dottie's "your son misses you" last week felt kind of unearned. And Ted's reaction to it last week felt real! But then there's barely anything in this episode that makes it feel like he's actually excited to see his son again. (When Henry was coming to visit in season 1, he was tracking the plane! He was chatting about it to Beard and Nate and Rebecca! In this episode we got one text of a gif.) If Ted's story was actually about the sacrifices of being a parent, why don't we get one (1) scene expressing that?

Nate. I really really really wanted to like Nate's storyline this season and the conclusion still kind of pissed me off. It was really that all the important parts were offscreen in this episode - did he choose to be a (assistant) kit man again or was he demoted? How did the team welcome him back? What was Ted and his reunion like? The only good thing was Nick Mohammed's acting - his apology to Ted just instantly made me start crying - but it was like a 2-minute scene! We couldn't have cut that stupid K/J/R scene for more closure on Nate?? There's something to him being back in the same place but more secure in himself, but we didn't actually get to see him choose it in any real way.

I was a big Ted/Rebecca fan in the earlier seasons, but I truly would have fine with them being completely platonic, and by the middle of this season, I was thinking they probably would be. Unfortunately, by this episode they don't even feel like friends anymore. Again, Ted is just doing absolutely nothing during their scene in the stands, and barely anything more at the airport scene. Where's the trust? The openness? And again, all the hints, the misdirects, the biscuits with the boss, the army men... and for what? To barely look each other in the eye, to leave with no promise that they'll ever see each other again?

Again, I do think the montage towards the end was a dream, but Rebecca reuniting with the Dutch guy felt like another really sloppy ending. We didn't spend an entire episode with them specifically not learning each other's names for them to suddenly be soulmates

Overall, I felt like this season varied in quality pretty drastically from episode to episode. I do think part of it was that they wrote seasons 1 and 2 back-to-back before any of it was released, and then this season was written after the huge response to the first two seasons. The rest of this is pure speculation, but I've thought a couple times this season that it felt a little "tryhard", like they were suddenly self-conscious of the goofiness and earnestness of the show but still wanted to do it. And now it feels like all of that led to last-minute rewrites, plots getting shifted around due to audience reactions, and maybe some marvel-style spoiler avoidance (that thing where whenever something leaks/gets guessed, they just change the script to something else to 'preserve the surprise' even if it makes no sense). It's fine when this show is predictable! The first two seasons were still fun when they were predictable!! It seems a little bit like this season was left open-ended in case they decide to do another season or something, but they did the rest of the show such a disservice by doing this that I'm not that interested in anything else they want to say past this point. This whole season, all the plot threads that went nowhere, I still trusted that the writers had a plan to tie it all together in the end because they've done it before, and this is what we got.

There's a place for ambiguity, but when everything is left ambiguous it's just sloppy. If we weren't sure where Ted's mind was at OR Roy/Keeley/Jamie was still up in the air OR Nate's future was uncertain OR Rebecca had maybe found a healthy relationship... any of those would have been fine, but when you have all of them unresolved it feels like no one wanted to commit to actually ending the thing.

whew. anyway. it's just such a bummer when a show you've gotten invested in shoots itself in the foot like this. this post is already too long but i'm going to end with the moments i did like:

I actually liked (most of) the opening scene, it made me laugh maybe more than anything else. I had just convinced myself that no, they're never actually going to have a canonical throuple on this show, and then I really thought for a second that they just plunked Ted/Rebecca/Beard down in front of us with no warning lol

Colin! I'm happy he got his happy ending.

Frankly, my general disinterest in Trent and, to a lesser extent, Colin, really stemmed from the fandom valorization of them from the very first season. It felt like (and I think it was, at least for a while!) that very Tumblr thing of "paying vastly more attention to conventionally attractive white men in very minor roles than any women or people of color that have actual storylines". But they had really good storylines this season - some of the better ones - and I really enjoyed them as written! I just still find their fandoms kind of annoying.

The scenes with Jamie and Roy (before they go to Keeley's) were mostly really lovely. I think that's been the strongest subplot of this season, and it's been a real joy to watch.

(i just realized 'joy' could be a ship name for jamie/roy lmao)

In a general sense, I really like that a lot of the major characters did not end up in romantic relationships, because those aren't the most important journeys they went on. Obviously I have quibbles about the execution (and larger quibbles about the ones who did (see above)), but I love that as an overall message.

Roy going to therapy!! You absolutely love to see it!!!

i keep trying to think of other stuff and keep coming up with more stuff i'm irritated about and it's past midnight so i'm going to stop lol. definitely going to be sitting on this episode/show for a bit but. yeah

The return of the Believe sign. As I've said, I'm a sucker for some well-timed cheese, and that was a really sweet scene.

ETA: OH the diamond dogs scene was actually lovely!! It got so lost in the rest of this episode but it was the only part that attempted to address the actual themes of the show!

[stickthisbig]

Okay, so. I am finished with my name written next to yours, and I have things to say! I don't recommend continuing with this post if you haven't read it.

I basically started writing this story because I really loved Legacy of Dragons, and I came out of it wanting to do something with Egbert. I really like Merilwen/Egbert and think it's a super underrated ship, so this was the second? third? story about them I started. Especially as Egbert matures, the position of the two of them of the reluctant moral backbone of the group has real potential.

I have been mad at Dob for a while over Liliana and Katie and also Liliana and Katie. I'm at a phase in my life where I have no time at all for villain fucking, and I can't interpret what Dob did to Katie as anything but hideously sad.

(I'm under the understanding that something happened with Liliana this season but. I'm behind because I've been spending all my time writing this story.)

So what happens to Dob here is not punitive; it is a gift. Would that someone could rewrite it like that for me, bestow the freedom that comes from not falling in love with everyone. I can't have that, but at least I can give it to Dob, because I get really furious at fictional characters whose ills I relate to.

It's a Prudence/Corazon story because OTP, motherfuckers. Competence Kink Corazon for life.

This story is also my love letter to a kind of fanwork that I think is fading out? I thought repeatedly that this is the story I'd have written in 2004- big, broad story beats, lots of movement and action, huge set pieces, really ridiculous payoffs- only unlike in 2004, I'm actually a pretty good writer? The whole climactic fight sequence is something drawn straight off of the kind of fic that would have done numbers on the Pit of Voles back in the day. The difference is that I deliberately set it up and built in the emotional scaffolding, instead of it being omg so random. Most of the chapters end with travel, because it's meant to evoke the breathlessness of that kind of writing, pulpy and serialized, with something always coming.

I feel like fandom is less and less interested in that kind of thing, with an introspective turn towards smaller stories, even if they're not shorter. Also most of those big stories weren't actually good, because if you don't do the work, you get something unreadable.

For all of those reasons, I think it's the thing I've written that's most like a season of the show. That's not a thing I've been very interested in in OxBitD, and my longest Oxventures story is about breaking up the band.

So yeah, pretty proud of it tbh. I think for the most part, it lands pretty well. I took some risks, but I think they paid off. I do have one last thing which was cut out because of pacing, so that may show up in the coming weeks. For now, a break.

(That's a lie. I started writing Edvard/Zillah/Kasimir on my phone this morning.)

[manycoloureddays]

imagine teasing a character death, and then allowing the character to live except you’ve thrown all his development out with the trash so he might as well have bitten the dust

[laufire]

I did a ~selective viewing of some Suits episodes to do a refresher before jumping in and finally watching the last season... I'm determined to do it because I want to see where a lot of these people's stories went (Louis, Louis/Sheila, Samantha, Katrina, Alex...).

But just the premiere has made more aware than ever of how much I LOATHE Donna. And Darvey. Neither can be on screen without me making this exact face:

[ID: the queen on Brave making a disgusted involuntary expression at her food’s taste.]

I hate her Karma Houdini ass more than ever istg. She massively screws up like once per season, yet nothing happens to her as a consequence, because she's Awesome TM and people aren't allowed to disagree or dislike her, ever (that investigator who refused to work for the film when Donna was a bitch to her and then refused to be convinced to talk in their favor... where are you babe ilu. Same to Anita Gibbs and oh so many

delightful antagonists. Hardman deserves to ruin her life for what she did to Robert, period. The bf she just cheated on should get to be a bitch at the very least).

What's worse, her last stunt not only didn't have negative consequences for her, but it caused MY MAN ROBERT ZANE to be disbarred and damage his reputation (likely irreparably, though I’m hoping that’s not the case and I’m going to choose to believe it even if it’s post-series) to save her and Harvey's asses.This in turn harmed the firm that Alex and Samantha just put their names on, hurting Samantha’s reputation as Robert’s right hand, and caused Louis to lose control of the firm. But none of them are allowed to even be mad at her for it, because It’s Donna. Samantha is within her fucking rights to tear into her but she must make peace with her; it must be understood that Louis worships the ground she walks on (although thankfully lately it’s just words, as he relies far more on literally everyone else -Sheila, Katrina, his therapist, Alex, Robert, Harvey...), Robert can’t be mad and instead must be seeking ~redemption, etc.

One thing that made me FURIOUS though, it’s her call to Rachel at the beginning of the episode. Rachel, her so-called closest friend, and the daughter of the man whose life she just ruined. And she calls her and leaves a message in her voicemail (which I’m choosing to believe as Rachel not picking up because as far as she’s concerned, they’re not on speaking terms), to cheerfully inform her that’s she’s finally worn down the man she obsessively obsessed about for over a decade to fuck her a second time. Hoo-fucking-ray. What the fuck is wrong with her that she calls Rachel to tell her that, right now??

Which leads me to what I can’t stand about the situation. It’s not like the show is pretending that Donna and Harvey are the Ultimate Romance, the writing is consistent and all (LOL at the fact that Louis caught them the morning after, saw Harvey in last night’s clothes... and thought they’d being working all night because the idea is so unthinkable lmao. And some narrative choices are VERY ON POINT, like the fact that things happen in Donna’s appartment and not Harvey’s -where everything about his romantic life has been front and center-, or how Harvey isn’t even allowed to be mad that Donna was still involved with another man without his knowledge when they slept together, something that to the Harvey we knew in the show, would’ve made him feel like shit and angry as hell), but the narrative of Harvey Finally Sees How Awesome Donna Is And That She’s Always Right And Should Be In Charge of Every Facet of His Life... jfc. I hate it here!!

They are living proof of the fact that I hate the Relentless Pursuer trope no matter what genders involve it, I guess, but at what cost. AT WHAT COST I SAY DDDD: I feel terrible for him ugh.

[intrepidmare]

MARE'S RECAPS ~ THE MANDALORIAN: CHAPTER 9 "THE MARSHALL"

Oh wow! It's been a while since I've done something like this. Last year, I caught up with season 1 about 2 days before the finale, so I didn't have the opportunity to write reviews/recaps. This season, though, I'm going to 😀 so here it is the first one! 

For the folks that haven't seen the premiere and don't want spoilers, scroll past this, fast and furious, because it's full of them. If you want to blacklist tags to avoid spoilers from me, I suggest that you add #mando spoilers, #the mandalorian season 2 spoilers, and #mare's mando recaps to the list.

I've seen the episode a few times (yeah, I'm that obsessed with the show) so some of my reactions are more visceral than others since I was too excited the few first times I watched it and I missed a lot of details (another reason to rewatch the episode more than once). This recap is loooooong, which is an indication of how amazing it was.

So this my final warning to those avoiding spoilers. Stop reading, right now. The rest of you… enjoy and let me know if you share some of my opinions. I'm always open to chat 😊

Chapter 9 ~ The Marshall

So it begins! It's so exciting!

I knew that Mando and baby Yoda walking in the street at night was going to be the opening scene. I started to think about it after watching the second trailer, and I'm glad that I was right.

It turns out that the red-eyed creatures were not jawas as I saw some people saying.

Baby Yoda was not happy with the little excursion to the fighting arena. Not walking on the streets nor inside watching the fight. I still laughed when he locked himself up in the pram, even if I've watched the trailer like a gazillion times by now and I knew he was going to do it.

And talking about the baby, he's getting more vocal I think. He's making a few new noises, whimpering more, which I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing. That he complains more means that he feels safe with his buir and isn't afraid of retaliation for it as he probably was with others in the past and the reason he didn't cry much in season 1. But it breaks my heart that he is stressed. And that child is anxious, I can tell you that much.

The fight with Gor Koresh's thugs was awesome! The gamorrean flying to squash Mando and failing had me cracking up. And omg! Din'd moves! Using his helmet as a weapon and throwing his vibroblade. And leaving Gor Koresh to be eaten! Man of his word, he didn't kill the guy.

On a side note, I would've never guessed it was John Leguizamo who gave voice to Koresh until I saw the credits. Of all the actors who could play the part, I never thought of him.

Umm, I'm curious about the time Mando has spent in Tatooine, which according to him it's been a lot and it makes sense since he knows so much about the Tuskens, their language and culture. I'm guessing he spent a while among them. He had to learn all that somehow. 

When I speculated that Mando was going back to Tatooine after watching the trailers, I said that I was going to riot if he didn't visit his favorite mechanic. Thankfully, I didn't need to worry. I loved Peli in episode 5 of season 1 and I loved her even more now remarking on Din's dislike of droids and trying to keep the baby for herself. Not to mention she complaining about not getting good help these days 🤣

And I ADORE the (improvised?) Birikad Din got for the baby. Of course, the baby is safer in the pram, right (guessing that's why he used it when he met Gor Koresh), but there's something sweet watching him carrying his son so close to him.

And I tell you, Mando has been spending credits lately in baby stuff. I mean, he got a new pram (which I initially thought it was the original that he had somehow retrieved from the garbage in Nevarro, but no, it's not the same, and neither it's the one that Kuiil made) and he also got the bag/birikad thing, which looks brand-new. I wonder what else he bought.

Watching the droids doing maintenance of the Razor Crest makes me think it's all for nothing, knowing that in a few episodes (it might be even in the next one) Mando is going to crash the ship. More than once perhaps.

😆 The baby still loves speed! I think riding on the speeder bike was the only moment that he truly enjoyed in this episode. Look at that happy face 

When they arrived at Mos Pelgo and Din went into the cantina, leaving the baby outside, I was like: Din! That's not responsible. How can you leave your son out in the inclement sun, alone! Then baby Yoda peeked in and I went: never mind. I take back what I said.

Oooh. Cobb Vanth! I love him! For a moment, I thought it could actually be Boba but it seemed illogical and that's what Mr. Feloni and Mr. Favreau wanted us to think. I was correct.

My gawd! Din's shock when Vanth took the helmet off. I just knew he would freak out the moment Cobb asked for drinks and I said to drink they need to remove their helmets and Mando is going to lose it when this guy does. And the standoff! Was so good! "Take it off or I will" is going to become a quite popular phrase in fics from now on, not in the same context, but yeah…

The krayt dragon… oh shit! Or rather Dank farrik! We can't see Mando's face or expression but I can imagine which one was when he saw the dragon eating the bantha the first time.

Oh my goodness. The baby hiding in the pot! Too adorable! 

I know every hardcore SW fan lost it watching Vanth modified speeder because is a callback to the Phantom Menace and Anakin but my first thought was: is he compensating for something? Sorry, I couldn't help it 

The dog-lizard creatures were kinda scary at first but then became adorable. Almost as much as baby Yoda getting out of hiding

Baby Yoda doesn't like dog-lizards things. He looked afraid to be eaten I think. Poor little guy.

And look at that! Din showing such growth! To think he was the one incensing others in negotiation 😆 this is a total callback to the jawas in Arvala-7. And I gotta tell you, Din freaking loves his flamethrower. He doesn't waste the opportunity to use it.

The krayt dragon eating the Tusken raider instead of the bantha was quite of a plot twist 😆

When they were planning the attack on the dragon, Cobb Vanth's face when Din told him that the bones and pebbles were to scale, and then when he had volunteered the villagers to help… priceless! 

I like the fact of banding together with others for a greater good, relying on others to accomplish something is going to continue being the theme of this season. It started last season but I think it's going to be stronger this time around along all of the episodes.

😳😲😳😲 this thing vomits acid?! What. The. FUCK?!!!

Cobb: I don't think it's dead

Mando: me neither

Me, at the same time as Din: yeah, nope it's not dead

Oh yeah! Teaming up with jetpacks!

When they showed the bantha with the remaining explosives my first thought was why didn't they use all those before?! That's why they didn't kill it!! Of course, it was just an excuse to grant Din a more grand win in the end, but you know, it's stupid not to use everything you have to kill the monster on the first try. Just saying

Wait, what? Din! What are you going to do? No! Taking care of the child is your responsibility, not Cobb Vanth's! I hate this plan of yours, Din Djarin!! Whichever it is!

Oh! Nice callback to the flaw on that jetpack. But makes me wonder, do all the rising Phoenixes have the same flaw? Cuz unless Din knows Boba in person and that it's his armor with that particular flaw, it means it's a common problem for all and I don't like it.

Get away, Din! Get away, Din!! FLY AWAY!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH! NOOOOOO! 

There he is! Damn, Mando! Don't scare me like that! Altho, it was a nice move.

Okay, but now I want someone to explain something to me. If the dragon's acid melted people at contact before, how the hell is Din so whole? I mean, sure for argument' sake let's say his beskar armor provides some protection, but he's not entirely covered in it. His cape and undersuit seem just fine, albeit sticky. Where's the logic in that?

The tuskens getting the pearl reminded me of the jawas and the mudhorn's egg, chanting zukka, zukka (or however egg is spelled in Jawa).

That's quite a piece of meat. The baby is going to be happy eating off it for days🤣

😮😮😳😳 BOBA FETT!!!!! Yesssssss!!

Okay, I've seen other people's thoughts and some think that Boba was after Cobb Vanth because he had the armor, but I don't know. If that was true then why he hadn't gone to Mos Pelgo and got it? It seems to me that it's more likely that Boba is following Din somehow because it's the second time in as many Mando's visits to the planet that they sort of cross paths. Could they know each other? Have some score to settle? It's possible. Din has spent much time on Tatooine -his words, not mine- so it wouldn't be so out of consideration that they actually know each other. That if Mando knows Boba is (fake?) Mando, I don't know. Probably not, but who knows?

Extra thoughts

I gotta say that Ludwig Göransson is killing it with the score music! Oh. My. God! So so so so good! I could tell from the trailers that it was going to be awesome this season but it astounded me in chapter 9. Gorgeous, absolutely gorgeous! My favorite piece is when they're going to the dragon's cave to kill it. The orchestral sound of the already familiar music blew my mind!

[victoriousscarf]

i'm probably one of the few people you've pulled into charmed and i really want to hear about your thoughts on Chris and Wyatt. I know you have intense thoughts & feelings about both of these two and I'd love to hear more about it.

Oh boy. Do I. 

I mean be careful what you wish for because you might just get your way is the fanfiction thesis I’m currently in process of writing but I’m pretty much down and willing at any time to start yelling so like buckle up here.

I can’t remember if it was in response to you or someone else that I mentioned on one hand I’m really disappointed that Chris and Wyatt even exist, because it just shows the sorta evolution of the show about three sisters who happen to be witches to a show about witches who happen to be sisters and all their boyfriends. Plus by season 6 the writing has pretty much tanked (Though it will still have room to get even worse!) and so it’s sad that that’s when we finally get into this. 

But like.

Like I have been obsessed with wild messiah figures since like idk, middle school? No, it was even earlier because for some reason someone decided elementary school me was ready to watch the Sci-Fi channel’s Dune miniseries. I finally actually read Dune for myself in middle school but the point here is, I have a total weakness for messiah figures, especially those who turn out to not be the messiah people were hoping for. Frank Herbert summarized the point of Dune and specifically Paul as “beware of heroes” because even the hero figure you think you understand (Paul, bringing revolution and then water to the desert) because chances are you shouldn’t have trusted them. And sure it’s a bit weird the deeper you dig into it but like, good god, what a phrase. Beware of Heroes. 

And what is exactly what Wyatt is. He’s presented pretty much from the moment he’s conceived as the magical world’s messiah. He’s “twice-blessed” and powerful from the womb. He’s going to carry Excalibur and he was born on top of the Nexus (which is a whole thing because like, Phoebe was also born in the house and she talks about how the Nexus can be good or evil and how she sorta lays some of her own flipping between the two on her connection to the Nexus. And Wyatt has that too!! Which is super important considering the two Wyatt’s we see are radically flipped to one side or the other). From everything we’re told about him, from everything we see, the magical world is excited to have this messiah figure (Which on one hand, it’s never made clear what he’s supposed to be the Messiah FOR, and it really undercuts the original premise of the show which was that the Charmed ones were supposed to be the most powerful crew but like, so it’s frustrating too but). 

And then he breaks. And then he goes dark.

And I am a sucker for messiahs that break the bounds of what they were supposed to be! Who look at the narrative and say well fuck you. Who are the last thing those who longed for their arrival expected. And like we only see Dark!Wyatt twice in the whole show. We only see the world he created out of his own terrible purpose once. And like on one hand having so many questions is great because it allows for so many theories and so much world building, but on the other hand it’s maddening. 

But like, we know a lot about why he goes dark and I’m utterly fascinated by all of it. Because like they point to when he was kidnapped by someone he trusted, betrayed by all that was supposed to be good, and then spent months wandering the underworld before he was even two years old, surviving among fire and demons and dark twisting caverns. Like that’s enough to drive anyone to distrust, to believe power is the only answer, but it also allows for the question of, what did he actually see. What did he do to survive. Is it as simple as they make it sound or is there always the possibility of something else, that was down there in the dark? 

And like in a weird way, I’m not even sure that he would have needed such a dramatic push. I mean, he vanquished his first demon before his first birthday. Holy shit. He vanquished his first demon before his first birthday, in the arms of his mother with both his parents approving. That is completely fucking nuts, and I would have been interested in a smarter show exploring how much maybe changing one event didn’t completely change him but okay. 

But at any rate here you have the ultimate Messiah figure, broken from the time he was a child, furious and raging and obsessed with power and that’s like the best catnip you can give me but oh wait! It gets worse!

Because enter stage left Chris Halliwell. 

Look one time I did an online quiz that was like, chose your ultimate fanfic trope. And it was like matching up two tropes and choosing which of the two you like more until there was only one standing. 

Let’s just say the last trope standing on mine was loyalty kink. 

Give me a character who looks at another and decides to be loyal beyond the point of reason, logic, or love and I’m like yup sounds good to me I’ll take five. 

And the show could never quite decide how Chris felt about Wyatt, except we know he went back in time to save him. He didn’t fight his brother, he didn’t try to kill him as a child. No, instead he looked at his brother who literally had the power to reshape reality and used it to crush the world under his hands and went oh I’m going to save him. Like sure, he says “If I can’t save you I’m going to stop you” but he never actually ever loses his faith that he’s going to save him. We never see what “I’m going to stop you” would look like. And sure, like most things in the later Charmed seasons, they might not have just had any of the smarts to like, think any of this through. But at the end of the day, what we know is Chris was willing to die to save his brother’s soul. 

And that’s not even on top of the fact that Chris has mile wide insecurity issues, a shaky sense of morality when it comes to achieving his goals, and a desperate desire to be accepted and loved by a family that doesn’t even know who he is. Every time Leo snaps something about “you’re not family” and Chris looks away I clutch my chest and scream, even when I’ve already watched this episode several times. 

Plus he’s got that snarky and vulnerable streak that is like a+ good. 

So yeah. The best summary of “wow you have a lot of feels” is wild, reality shaping messiah and the snarky brother who would change reality himself just to save him.