#i'm not the kind of fan that has to own everything released for my fave series or characters

[hotwaterandmilk]

I don’t think I’ve shared a photo of my Egg stand collection since it started overflowing onto a second shelf. So, err, here it is! I’ve got about 5 other stands in the mail & am currently not sure how I’m going to fit them on that second shelf (I also need to shove another Tatsumi in there too). 

It might finally be time to give Saya, Hagi & Thor the boot to elsewhere (Benriya you can stay)... but I don’t really have anywhere else to put them. Such are the joys of renting a tiny space as an adult.

Anyway with the ZLS gaiden manga coming to an end and my mood/health generally being down, it just seemed right to indulge in my Egg collection. 🌸

[impishsensei]

character info sheet

name: 五条悟 Gojo Satoru.

name meaning: the name satoru derives from the japanese verb "to know" or "understand". the kanji used in satoru's name specifically means "enlightenment" (悟).

alias: the strongest, blindfolded idiot/idiot

ethnicity: Japanese

picture/icon you like best of your character: putting two bc i'm torn :p (putting the rest under the cut bc this is p long)

ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴs ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀ ᴛᴏʟᴅ ᴀɴʏᴏɴᴇ : 

he is a huge sone (fan of girl's generation). in general i imagine he's a huge fan of 2nd gen kpop. i can see him being part of the war between snsd and 2ne1 fans... in modern non-sorcery au he probably has an edgy account where he talks endless shit abt p much any release past 2015 (aside from his faves). yes ik this is goofy but just hear me out and see the vision. his bias is yuri c: // just wanna say when i joke abt this it does not reflect how i feel lmao

i'm not sure if it's ever been addressed why satoru doesn't drink ? but regardless of whatever chatgeget said idgaf, i'm taking canon from him and making my own. anyway i say that satoru doesn't drink because it messes with his six eyes too much... tho i do love the idea that he got wasted someday and it was horrendous. idk it just makes sense. he keeps from it as a precaution lmao

greg claims satoru is a natural genius at everything but i reject that because i think it'd be funny if he's a disaster in the kitchen. actually most household type stuff, i think he'd be horrendously bad at it... cooking is the worst tho. do NOT let gojo into the kitchen he will blow that shit tf up.

ᴛʜʀᴇᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ʟɪᴋᴇs ᴅᴏɪɴɢ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ғʀᴇᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ :

ik canon says he has no hobbies bc he can do anything but I reject that once more. satoru likes to watch tv... he loves movies, reality tv, and soap operas especially. idk he seems like the kind of guy that looooooves juicy drama

taking the students out into the city, like to eat or sight see or other super fun stuff. satoru doesn't get that much time off, but he likes to use the sundays he does have for this

when he's not doing his work as a sorcerer/teacher or any of the above stuff... he dates around. he's a bit for the streets... nothing ever lasts long, but satoru craves companionship. he usually ends up fucking it up just by being busy, or ghosts because he believes serious romance is just something he can't do

sɪx ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ʟɪᴋᴇs / ʟᴏᴠᴇs :

everyone obviously,,, though if i have to narrow it down then megumi, suguru, tsumiki, shoko, ijichi, yaga and all of his other old classmates and students. he deeply treasures these ppl in his life, and he takes being the strongest to heart so much bc it means protecting them and/or fostering their growth

ᴛᴡᴏ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ʀᴇɢʀᴇᴛs :

not noticing something was wrong with suguru sooner

not having more time with everyone before, ya know... :c

ᴛᴡᴏ ᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀs ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ ʜᴀs :

i don't think satoru has like... any legit/proper phobias? i do think he is scared of being hurt deeply tho, like how he felt when suguru defected. he doesn't want to feel that way again so he maintains a bit of distance (or tries to)

staying alone always. he already feels alone but just... lowkey hopes that it won't always be that way (ig he never really realized how much everyone around him loved him ;3;)

tagged by: @wormb0i tagging: @cvrseduser @2xcursekissed @celesticlnstcrs (ik lee already tagged u but for jing maybe?) @jikoku/@fshguro @getsusekaii / @ofstygiaan / @kakovoulos (u don't gotta do all just pick one of ur muses lmao) @jikangairodo @divinezenin @phonokinetix @sheblomd @vulpesse

[chirpymoth]

Another Moth info post.

What got you into G/T? This info will date me. ./// . For me it was the book "Castle in the Attic" (with this cover)

Really only the first part. Where the tiny knight comes back to life. The last half is going into the knight's world and saving the kingdom. At the time I created my own "OC" knight named Erdrick (Yeah from Dragon Warrior... I was like... 7~8 at the time) Then there was the Nickleodeon shows like The Lil' Bits (A show about tiny elves/fairies/gnomes) that went and had adventures with their animal friends. I always wanted them to meet a human but they never did to my knowledge. IT WAS ALSO AN ANIME. (Mori no Youki na Kobitotachi: Berufi to Rirubitto [Little Pixies of the Forest: Belfie and Lilbit]) And thanks to Unico, Grimm's Fairy Tales, The Little Prince, Noozles and Lil' Bits... it was my anime awakening. This was also done by Tasunoko Productions of Speed Racer, Gatchaman and SDF Macross <- (more later)

(1995 is the wrong year. It was from 1980)

Around 1985~1990 on TV it was The Littles, which I was very opinionated about at the time as I like my tinies being fully human and not "With tails and buckteeth". Thanks children's media for maligning buckteeth to me. Seeing it now I've been told this was basically "OC Borrowers"

You can watch the show on Pluto TV now and there was 2 DVD re-releases. Today being an adult the teeth and tails don't bother me. Also Dinky is the best. From 1995~1999 was kind of a wasteland for me. I had to rely on my imagination! (Yes I know Robotech was a thing, but I didn't see it on TV). I didn't know what I was looking on the internet for so I wandered around for a bit. Everything I saw was aimed at men and was... kinda gross and a bit misogynistic. (Yeah I would have ~16 at this time)

Come 1999 I was told about Chiisana Kyojin Microman (Small Giant Microman). A show about 8cm tall super"humans" (They are really aliens) that save the world from evil tiny aliens. Lest to say I was sold for life! G/T content and IT'S ANIME!

This show was remake/reboot of the late 1970s~1980s toyline "Microman" that ALSO was the origin of Transformers! (People claim it was Diaclone and really Diaclone was dragged into the whole thing that was to be Transformers in the US) It was known as "Micronauts" in the US and THAT became something else in comicbooks. I'm not a comicbook fan. So I had to buy the toys and stuff and try to get any info about the show. They even had repros of the 70s stuff as well as a PSX game based on that. (The PSX game is alright.) Then the anime got a PSX game (Generation 2000) After the 1999 series died off (No thanks to bad marketing decisions) there was a re-reboot around 2003 that was aimed more for collectors and adults where they were no longer from space and were instead genetically engineered. It has some pretty men, but the story is kinda meh. However there are now Microwomen so I guess that's the trade off. Now it was after this point around 2005 where I was introduced to SDF Macross. SDF Macross of course has the opposite of Microman with giant aliens (That are trying to take back the SDF and conquer Earth)

Kamjin the really only hot Zentraedi from the series until Macross 7

So of course I watched it, however not really into SDF Macross and more into Macross 7 where they keep the Zentraedi and even have some G/T stuff with Mylene and Basara. Where the butchered Robotech just.. makes them all human as they had to cram 3 different series together. I don't really like Macross Frontier as it injected a "genetic problem" in the way of Klan Klan for Zentraedi where she's either a giant large breasted woman or pedophile pandering. (Of course it's only a woman we see this affect) They also kill my fave character. We do get Ai-kun which is the only good thing.

Macross Delta seems to have just.. gone away from the whole G/T completely and now panders to the idol otaku fully. And then the wasteland continued until really around now as again, looking up macro/micro would only bring up furry stuff (not really my thing) and GTS (GianTeSs?) was only for horny men and I couldn't find the GT stuff as again.... only stuff for men popped up.

So it's really cool that I tried again (on tumblr) and found stuff. Currently the only G/T anime I watch is Sugar Apple Fairy Tale that has the tiny fairies. Mythril Lid Pod is the best wingman.

Mithril Lid Pod (left) and Benjamin

And that's where I am today. Also finally indulging my fantasies and writing about them. I can do so many words!

Edit: Oh and I got into EDF (Earth Defense Force) after watching people play #5 and they had some giant aliens in it and OH the camera is so good at making your soldiers look tiny.

[thebroccolination]

It's 2:30am and I can't sleep AND I'm bored. So I'm goin around asking some of my fave blogs/writers to play a game of either/or........ready?

(Please don't hate me, this is just for fun 😁)

Reading Fanfic or Writing Fanfic

Boun or Krist

Romance or Sci-Fi Fantasy

UWMA or BUTS

SOTUS or BMF

Reaper Storyline or Time Loop Storyline

WinTeam or KawiPi

Watch the Movie/Series or Read the Book

You don't have to answer if you don't want to but if you do, you can't cheat! You can only choose one or the other NOT both! Okay? GO!

P.S. I love your writing, Key! Thank you for all your lovely fics ❤️❤️❤️

Awwww, first of all: thank you so much. :') This is a really sweet thing to wake up to. :'''')

Also incredibly evil.

-- Reading Fanfic or Writing Fanfic --

Honestly—and this surprises me—writing! I tried to imagine not being able to do one ever again and I'd be more upset if I could never write fic again.

-- Boun or Krist --

:/

Before this year, I would've said Boun, but right now, it's Krist.

I've always thought of BounPrem and KristSingto as the "main pairs" I follow, and even though Krist and Singto aren't officially a branded pair anymore, I still follow them separately. So I'm kind of a, uh, BounPrem, Krist, Singto fan now asdfghkj

When Between Us ended and BounPrem said they wouldn't have another series together for a while, I moved my focus to Krist because he had Be My Favorite coming up, and I'd been excited for BMF since 2021. And now, since I've followed Krist so closely this year, since I've gone back and familiarized myself more with his past work, and since I was fortunate enough to meet him in person last month and see for myself how kind and sincere and good he is, I'm very invested in seeing him happy and succeed the way he deserves. (Like, it's very clear why he's so beloved when you look into who he actually is, so it's been surreal to see how desperately interfans want to hate him. I was in his restaurant with other fans when GMMTV finally released a statement in his defense, and it was such a relief, I teared up. Some interfans are trying the "he used to be a bad person but he's better now" take at the moment, so I'm just waiting for them to take the next step and admit that he was never a monster in the first place and that hundreds of interfans have gleefully tortured him and trashed his reputation for years based on misinformation.)

Like I keep saying: the loudest anti-Krist voices are interfans. If he actually was what they claim, wouldn't his most ardent antis be from his own country? I've spoken to Thai fans of different actors: this is an interfan bandwagon that got blown out of proportion.

Now, of course, Krist and Boun have always been pretty closely tied in my heart, so if you talk to me once the BounPrem vampire series airs, I'll be focused on BounPrem again. I'm not one of those "you have to follow everything someone does or else you're a fake fan" people, so I only watch what I like. BounPrem have been doing a lot of fanmeetings and separate work this year that I wasn't interested in following, so I've just been patiently waiting for the vampire series to air. Even though I don't even like vampires. I just love BounPrem that much. :')

-- Romance or Sci-Fi/Fantasy --

Sci-Fi/Fantasy! I'm writing a fantasy novel right now, and most of my favorite stories are in the sci-fi/fantasy/speculative genres. :D

-- Until We Meet Again or Between Us the Series --

UWMA!

It was my first Thai BL series, and it launched my whole fandom life here. It still has such a strong presence in my memories, and I think it was a true labor of love from every angle.

I think BounPrem were incredible in Between Us, but I don't think Between Us was the series they deserved. In the months since it ended, I've gotten more critical of how Between Us was handled and it's dropped quite a few spaces on my list. I think if they had stuck closer to the novel, removed BeePrince completely, used fewer flashbacks, fewer UWMA clips, and not tried to cram six musical tracks into some scenes to guide viewers' emotions, it would have been a stronger series. I honestly get the impression New did it for BounPrem rather than out of a genuine love for the characters, and that might be why it didn't have the spark UWMA does. I think it was a labor of love for BounPrem, and I think New loves BounPrem, but I don't think he loved WinTeam's story as much as he loved DeanPharm's. Not his fault, but a different director might've been a better choice for the project.

-- SOTUS or Be My Favorite --

Be My Favorite!

From 2020-2022 my top three were 1) UWMA, 2) SOTUS, and 3) DBK, but then I did an honest reevaluation and realized that over time, SOTUS has had just a tiny bit more of an emotional impact on me than UWMA, so it took the top spot. And of course Triage came along and blasted up to take DBK's spot.

As soon as I saw the teaser in 2021, I knew I'd love Be My Favorite, I just never expected it to…Be My Favorite. \:D/

It's time travel, it's Krist, it's Gawin, it's queer as fuck, and it's the closest to perfect I've seen yet. Ever since it ended, I've just been in this bubble of bliss. I can't believe it exists, that we got such a perfect casting, that Gawin and Krist became so close, that they see each other as family now, that that chemistry is so clear in the series. It's just one of those significant series that rearranges your brain chemistry, like SOTUS, UWMA, and DBK before it were for me. <3

-- Reaper Storyline or Time Loop Storyline --

Okay, so with the understanding that most subject material can be great in the hands of a great storyteller, just from a, "Hey, Key, this series/book/TV show has a __ storyline," basis, I'll go with Time Loop. Time shenanigans is one of the fastest way to hook me (Be My Favorite, Triage, I Feel You Linger, etc.).

-- WinTeam or KawiPi --

WinTeam. Always, always WinTeam. :')

They're just the ultimate OTP for me. Of any series, movie, book, anything. I think it'll always be WinTeam for me.

-- Watch the Movie/Series or Read the Book --

Hmm. For Thai BL: series. In general: book. From what I understand, a lot of the novels Thai BL series are based on tend to be very rough. Like, written and uploaded by the author without an editing process or even a beta reader in the middle. LazySheep (Red Thread/UWMA, Hemp Rope/BU) is an indie author, though. She's with Hermit Books, and she's mentioned her editor on Twitter, and I think the extra steps she takes in the process of publishing her novels show in how polished her stories are compared to the average Thai BL novel.

[flownwrong]

october music thingie

i'm doing dreamwidth blind so i decided to talk about music. let's do it. here's my october rotation.

i know nobody's clicking that link so you can read it here too:

Faves:

Halber Mensch by Einstürzende Neubauten: a beloved album that went out of my rotation for most of this year but made a perfect return once the late autumn stuff got going outside. Great for long commutes and short walks. The first time I really appreciated Yü-Gung on its own merit, too. When the bass hits on the last refrain of "fütter mein ego" it's physically enjoyable.

Gris Klein by Birds in Row: it came out roughly a year ago and immediately landed a spot on my all time faves list, but especially my late autumn fave list. Not only is it a solid hardcore/screamo record on its own, but this time they really outdid themselves. It's such a perfectly paced listening experience—by the time the closer hits you are vulnerable to it, and when it's done, you get that perfect hit of "wow, I don't even know what to put on after this". The instrumental game is on point, too—I have so many loops and riffs from it wedged between my braincells, so, sonically, it's a win. And of course the songwriting here is impressive af. "Noah" in particular is a straight up masterpiece. I've listened to it outside of this record so many times. Ten out of ten, would recommend.

[untitled] by mewithoutYou: I just kind of forgot about it, but thanks to shuffle, I went back to it. I'm a fan of their earlier releases so I didn't particularly remember this one. And it's really beautiful! I'd say it's more smooth and melodic than their usual fare, but the usual songwriting quirks are all there, signature melodic decisions and lyrics and all that. Loved it anew!

Terror's Horns by Natural Snow Buildings: For some reason, I only now, after a couple years with this record, noticed there's a track called "King in Yellow" on it, haha. I've re-read it very recently and entered another small loop of my horror reading spree—and I must say this record would actually be a good soundtrack. It's only subtly creepy, but it does feel rich and heavy and mysterious and has bursts of pure ecstatic beauty near the end there and one of the most devastating closers I know.

Slow Riot for New Zero Kanada by GY!BE: a classic; and, by extension, Górecki's third symphony, since the iconic "Moya" is a nod to that. I love many different recordings, but my all time fave is the one with Beth Gibbons of Portishead doing the vocals. Her unique voice and manner fill the already gorgeous parts with something fragile and sublime that is simply unparalleled. It's one of the best pieces of music I've ever heard.

Discoveries:

Jeff Buckley: I have no idea why I have been putting off checking him out for so long (I have an oddly patchy impression of popular music, in that I know a lot of obscure stuff but most of well-known names missed me completely), but man, the beauty here is really on another level. I was tickled to remember that a semi-obscure progressive metal band I like did a cover of "Dream Brother" a decade ago and that's how I first heard of him. Which is hilarious, because before I remembered, I commented on "Grace" to my friend saying it sounds like that very band if they weren't progressive metal. Also, no one who can pull off Dido's Lament will escape my admiration. Grace is going on that fave list for sure.

The great Destroyer by Low: I've been a fan for some years, but I tend to be slow in catching up with big discographies, so I missed some records, this one included. It's everything Low is beloved for, their quintessential reserved harmonies and precise lyricism all on display. Plus, the opener has been covered by Robert Plant, which is pretty cool.

Wind's Poem/Ocean Roar by Mount Eerie: I adore the quiet and devastating spoken word pieces Phil Elverum is known for (among other things), but these two black metal inspired albums, with those same quiet vocals and tentative lyrics contrasted by gloriously noisy instrumentals, are new for me and I'm in awe.

New stuff:

Silence by Rorcal: I'm only sometimes in the mood for Rorcal, but when I am, this record is a good example of why. Fun blackened hardcore, and the record is pretty tight and runs for less than 40 minutes.

Everything is Alive by Slowdive: I love this one! More than I loved their first post-reunion record. I think it was released back in September but it was a perfect melancholy autumn sound for my October.

Sit Down for Dinner by Blonde Redhead: a new Blonde Redhead record! Can you believe it? I think it got quieter than 23 and I love it less, but it's still a good record.

Oscillating Forest by Tangled Thoughts of Leaving: another September release by my ultimate underrated faves that get tagged as post-rock but actually do something more free jazz-ey and noisy and chaotic but also yes, with crescendos and keys and all that fun. Another absolute banger. Check it out.

At Zeenath Parallel Heavens by Black to Comm: my scariest ambient fave. It's not his absolutely full of dread Seven Horses for Seven Kings, but it's still delightfully uneasy and beautiful.

in spoar by piiptsjilling: there's this obscure Dutch sound designer/electroacoustic/ambient/neoclassical guy Machinefabriek with a massive back catalogue, and piiptsjilling is one of his even more obscure side-projects. It's more melodic and has actual words and not just vocal textures! I love it.

Not yet released, but Neubauten finished a new record and I'm HELLA excited. Nothing they've ever done is boring. Let spring come soon.

[your-bigender-big-brother]

I'm stuck on anything to ask really. What's been your fave music release of the year? Fave movie? Fave show?

You're one of the first channels I found when seeking out Demiboy channels to help me understand my identity so thanks for that, it definitely helped:)

I'm glad my videos helped in some way! It seems a lot of people found my channel when looking for demiboy content, so I'm glad I made the step to get my story out there and talk about the experience. It's nice to be helpful to people looking for answers.

I'll be honest, I don't pay attention to a lot of new music. I'm very out of the loop on a lot of things. However, Korn's new album was a weird little birthday surprise for me. The only other thing I was excited for was the Chromatica album drop in 2020 lol. Normally I'm listening to older stuff or stuff that's mostly on YouTube (like Pentatonix and Voice Play and other acapella artists, or cover artists like Nick Pitera.)

Ahh. Movies this year. My partner always has to make me watch movies because I never watch them on my own and there are so many I haven't seen. Disenchanted was a pleasant surprise. Oh God, and the Bob's Burgers movie was awesome and I hope I can get caught up with the show because I'm a fairly new fan. Mostly this year was watching older movies for the first time. To Wong Foo (amazing), Priscilla: Queen of the Desert (amazing-er), Down with Love (meh), the first Doctor Strange (only because my partner is into it), uhhhh the weird romance movie with Ryan Gosling having to marry his boss so she doesn't get deported. Betty White's in it. Oh, and Turning Red! The one really really good one! (I could go on forever but the representation of Chinese-Canadian culture made me feel really good. It was interesting to see Cantonese being spoken instead of Mandarin because I'm a nerd for languages.)

Fave show was definitely Westworld before they took it away from me and made me super sad - unforgivable if you ask me. Trying to get caught up on the final season of The Walking Dead but I definitely saw everything up until that point. Station Eleven was an amazing super new show that was a fun watch despite how short it was. You can see I like post-apocalypse kind of stuff. I've seen exactly two episodes of Gentleman Jack which I liked and might go back to. I also rewatched all of Breaking Bad.

That turned into a rant.

I wish I could remember more but I haven't been journaling as much nowadays, which means I won't remember a lot of this stuff. - 💙💚

[yourmoonmomma]

Hello Maple!!!

It's been quite a while 🥹🥹

How have you been doing lately??

My summer vacations are now one week over, the school is so tiring!!! I don't like going to school, I do like staying in school though but my favourite part is coming back home no matter what!!

I will never understand the point of assignments since we just copy them from books or the internet but I guess it's a formality and to potentially not make us forget about school & studies. Sometimes I do like it though, I don't like writing assignments but I LOVE learning about the new topics it's so fun!! If the topics are interesting and new then it's fun, but if not, they are boring 😅

for example, my given topic for Chemistry was, "Carcinogenic Activity of Hydrocarbons" and it was so interesting. I really benefitted from the site scholar Google, it has legit research, PDFs and papers, you can really tell that from language, so it was really nice & good researching and reading them, also different topics I am interested in I can search, it is so so fun 🥺

Besides that, during the vacation, I learned a LOT about psychology (different conditions and just general, few in micro level), it has been my subject of extreme interest (even most among all) for 4 years now. I feel much more fulfilled after studying/reading that much. I wish to be more observant (I do find myself like that nowadays but it's probably the immediate after effect of learning)

I also have been into doing the Rubik's cube, pyramix. It's so interesting and fun.

Yesterday, Taylor Swift's Speak Now rerecorded got released and I couldn't be more happy, my favourite song from vault (the one she wrote at the og release but released in this, her own version) is Castles Crumbling. It's so...nice.

Also, the weather is better, as monsoon has set in.

How are things over there?

🩷🩷

Hi friend! It has!

I've been okay. Everything kind of blurs altogether lately lol, so it's hard to say how I'm really feeling right now. Maybe I'm just struggling to stay in the present?

Haha I totally understand, I felt a similar way in school too! I hope this school year treats you well <3

It is very fun to learn about new things!! I don't mind writing about what I'm learning, as way to remember it, but I agree. A lot of the time you are just parroting what you have learned in your own words - which is an important skill to have, however it can feel very frustrating and boring!

That sounds quite interesting!!!

Pyschology used to be a fave topic of mine too haha, I'd go to thrift stores to find university textbooks on it, and read through them. It's very fascinating, learning about how the mind works! That observance will certainly grow, though I find the more observant one becomes, the more it becomes a subconscious thing, to the point where you may not even realize how observant you really are.

That sounds interesting! I had a rubix cube as a kid, but I'm not a big fan of them haha

I'll have to check the song out!!! I'm going to the FOB concert in Toronto at the end of the month with Mikayla, which I'm very excited for.

The weather here is very hot & humid, I am NOT a fan :(

[wellthatwasaletdown]

Hello,so I had been debating a while whether or not to send this but this is probably the best place for me to vent because if I say this on my own blog or twitter I'll get harassed for sure. I only got into harry in 2018 came across a couple videos from his tour and thought he was very charming on stage, a decent singer with good music. I was really excited when FL was announced cuz it would be my first experience with a new release as a fan. I do like most of the album especially FL the song is one of my faves but overall the album didn't feel as cohesive as HS1. But I was still excited to watch him perform these live since his stage persona was the thing I was drawn to. In hindsight things started going down the drain after the one night only performance in LA. The way that entire debacle was handled left a sour taste in my mouth. But I still gave him the benefit of the doubt. But everything just got worse from there. It was just one bad thing after another. The covid merch, completely irresponsible behaviour during the pandemic, pretending to care about BLM and then announcing the cop movie, the overpriced ugly merch, never taking the effort to connect with fans directly, his team always supporting articles that trashed his other bandmates, the WS video 🤢, the list just goes on and on. (Just realized how big the list is before we even get to the dwd and olivia mess wow). And through out all this I saw his fans just brush off all these things time and time again. I was like what's it gonna take for you people to see and realize that he is not what his image is built up to be?!! I still don't believe that he is inherently a horrible human being but I definitely feel that the fame and success achieved has gotten to his head and he feels like he can do anything he wants and still have a career. And his rabid fans will make sure of it. I am not naive enough to believe I can change or police other people's fan behaviour. I'm just glad I myself realized that he is not someone worth supporting. There are better artists who deserve it more and I'd rather spend my time,money and energy on them. He is not revolutionary in any way. Everything he has done has already been done by someone else who never had the support he has. He's just a rich white man who is on his way to become a shrewd businessman and has a lot of support from similar rich people. If the universe has any ounce of justice left maybe someday some kind of karma will come for him but I'm not holding my breath for it. For now I just hope his acting is so terrible that everyone will be able to see it even if his team is able to pay for good reviews.

.

[wellhellsbelles]

Hii!! I'm so so glad you're back :3 your fanfics were truly my faves. I've had this idea for a fanfic where riley wants to ask farkle to prom but is too scared to do so, so she makes a deal with him that if no one asks them to prom, they'll go together, and something happens and riley has to confess that she wanted to go w/ him and asks him w/ a poster that says: you, me, prom?

ahhhh thank you so much for enjoying my stuff and thanks for the prompt! i hope you enjoy this little fic :)

//

“So, are ya gonna do it?”

Maya’s face pops up as soon as Riley’s shut her locker door, eyes sparkling in a puckish sort of way that can only mean trouble. Riley clutches her AP Literature textbook against her chest, a brow raised.

“No.”

Maya groans.

“You promised! You told me that today would be the day! You said, and I quote, “Maya, if I don’t do it on this date, you’re allowed to make me buy you something from my mom’s restaurant for a month.” Look, I even have proof of you holding up the calendar with the big red circle outlining today’s date!”

Riley’s best friend whips out her phone, swiping through pictures until she finds what she’s looking for. She holds it up as if it’s incriminating evidence, but Riley doesn’t much care—well, she does, because that picture she took is downright unflattering and should be deleted immediately.

“Let me see that,” Riley demands, and Maya hands her the phone, clawing at her when she trashes it.

“Hey!”

“No one needs to see that picture, Maya. I’m trying to forget what my haircut looked like at the beginning of the year.” She begins to walk off, trying desperately to ignore Maya’s prodding to no avail.

“Riley Matthews, are you going to chicken out? I thought Matthews don’t quit,” Maya says, grinning when it stops Riley in her tracks. “Ha! I got you there.”

Riley moves to make her rebuttal, but the warning bell rings to alert them that they need to be heading to their next class, so she simply rolls her eyes, waving goodbye to Maya as she heads in the opposite direction.

“We’re tabling this, Matthews! Don’t think I won’t let this slide!” Maya calls out. Riley shakes her head, sighing as the weight of anxiety starts to lift.

 Yeah, she’s aware she’s a coward. But she’s not about to do it—there’s being brave, and there’s being absolutely idiotic, and if she did go through with it?

It’d change a lot.

 She’ll take the chance of being a coward any day over spilling her guts.

 //

 Riley’s never been one to believe in coincidence, so when Farkle swings through her window effortlessly later that day, she can’t help but damn fate a little.

“Alright, you, me, AP Literature. Now,” he says, tossing his bag onto her floor and landing on her bed with a thud. Riley pushes her feelings way down inside her, swallows them until she’s able to pretend they’re nonexistent, and glances up at him.

“Why does it feel like all you ever come to me for anymore is AP Lit stuff?”

Farkle scoffs.

“Please, we had a horror movie marathon last weekend. Plus, I brought a bribe. You do still take bribes, right?” he asks, pulling out a bag of sour gummy worms.

“Your bribe has been accepted. Gimme,” she thrusts her hand out, making a grabbing motion. Farkle laughs giving her the bag. She tries to tear it open with her teeth when she can’t rip it with her hands, whooping triumphantly when it tears.

“Don’t hog those. I want some, too.”

Riley wants to tell him he could bugger off, but she knows that sentiment would be null and void. She’d rather give up an arm than force him out of her space, and if that meant sharing his gift of sour gummy worms, she would.

“Leave the—”

“Blue-red ones, I know,” he finishes cheekily, pulling a couple of yellow-red ones out and plopping them into his mouth.

“So, AP Lit?” she asks. Farkle pulls out his textbook and notebook, settling himself comfortably on the end of her bed.

“Am I allowed to say I don’t love poetry? Because this class makes me not a fan of poetry,” he says, nose curling as he reads a question, “Why aren’t there any good science poems?”

“There are, you just aren’t looking for them,” Riley tells him simply.

“Lies. Name one off the top of your head right now,” Farkle jibes, throwing a gummy worm at her.

“The Old Astronomer by Sarah Williams. ‘I have loved the stars too truly to be fearful of the night.’ If I ever did get a tattoo, it’d be with that quote,” she answers, picking the gummy worm off herself and eating it. She looks back at Farkle, who remains . . . unconvinced.

“Pretty quote, still not interested in poetry. I think it’s the form.”

“Okay, what if I told you to look at the scientific method steps like a poem? Because it basically is. BOOM, exploded your mind with hot knowledge!”

“Riley, please. Don’t ruin science for me.”

Riley sticks her tongue out at him, gently kicking him in the thigh with her foot as she settled comfortably into against her pillows. She’s already finished her AP Lit homework, onto her AP Chemistry homework now, but she’s always ready to help Farkle when he needs it. The degree to which she’d drop everything for him, just for him, is downright . . .

Embarrassing.

But she’s learned to take it in stride. There’s something about his presence that always makes her feel a certain sort of way now, but she just reminds herself that this is Farkle, her best friend since she was five, and there’s nothing to be scared of.

Then Maya texts her, and she remembers what it is exactly she’d been fretting.

 i know the minkus boy is at ur house!

he just sent me a snap of u

u look like ur having a midlife crisis on ur bed there

better fix that by

i dunno

ASKING HIM THE STUPID QUESTION

 Riley shuts her phone off, tossing it to the side to return to her Chemistry textbook.

Chemistry! She’s supposed to be studying for chem, and she will not—it’s absolutely out of the question—say the question that’s in her head.

 I thought Matthews’ don’t quit.

 Damnit! Maya’s right, Matthews’ don’t quit.

They shouldn’t.

 “Farkle?” she calls out to him, ignoring the way he’s mussed his hair in an adorable fashion from being fraught by the poems laid out in front of him.

“Yeah, Riles?”

“So . . .” Just ask it. Ask him, you dummy! “Uh, are you going with anyone to prom?”

“Oh,” he blinks, as if not anticipating the question (he probably wasn’t, come to think of it), “No, not that I’m aware of. Why do you ask?”

Here goes nothing.

“Youwannagotopromwithme?” Riley blurts all at once, the words rushing out of her mouth like vomit. Farkle stares at her, his mouth opening and closing a couple of times as if he’s trying to gauge if she’s serious or not. In fact, the longer he doesn’t talk, the quicker Riley tries to think of a way to recover from this, because ABORT MISSION ABORT!!!

“You know, if no one else asks you? Or you don’t ask anyone else? We can just go as friends,” she supplies, chuckling nervously. Something flashes across Farkle’s face, something that Riley thinks is akin to disappointment, but as soon as it’s there, it’s gone.

He shrugs.

“Sure, why not?”

Riley sighs with relief.

“Okay, cool. Just let me know, yeah?”

“Yeah, of course.”

 The night does not return to normal after that. In fact, it’s awkward up until the moment Farkle swoops back out the window with a goodbye and a half-hearted smile. As soon as he vanishes, Riley collapses face-down into her pillow, screaming into it out of pure frustration.

We can just go as friends.

Who is she?! That’s not what she wanted at all, but she chickened out because Maya was freaking right!

But if she had seen the look on his face before she added that . . . Riley made the right decision. She’s sure of it, because if she had been serious?

That’d probably be it, friendship over.

It’s . . . it’s better this way.

She’s certain of it.

 . . . Right?

 //

  “So?” Maya asks as she arrives beside Riley’s locker the next morning, their usual meet-up. Riley groans, leaning her head inside the locker.

“I asked him and then added just as friends when he didn’t respond right away. So, you know, I kind of asked.”

“Just as friends?!” Maya screeches at her. Riley places her hands on her own head.

“I know! I know. I wasn’t able to go to sleep last night. It was a stupid thing to do anyway, it just made everything a billion times more awkward. Why did I let you talk me into this, Maya?”  

“Alright, did he say yes to that, at least?”

Riley nods her head.

“Okay, good. We can work with that. We’ll just have you romance him at prom, no problem.”

“What do you mean ‘no problem’? Yes, problem! I am not doing that, Peaches. I’ve humiliated myself enough for one lifetime. I think I’m going to opt out of prom, maybe bow out of senior year in disgrace or something.”

She hears Maya exhaust a long breath before she’s helping Riley out of her own locker, spinning her around and resting her hands on her shoulders.

“Riley Matthews, you are letting your feelings for a boy get to you too much. Yeah, he’s Farkle, but you’re Riley. You’re magnificent and amazing and if he doesn’t like you back? That’s his loss, because he missed the mark.”

“Thank you, Maya,” Riley smiles softly, hugging her best friend. Maya hugs her back and then releases her, giving her a look that can only mean trouble if Riley knows her well enough (and she does.)

“Okay, you know what? This whole ‘friends’ thing isn’t going to work. I need you to ask him out for real, because I know you’ll hate yourself for it if you don’t. I know it’s a hard thing to do, but you know better than anyone about making hard decisions. So do me a favor and ask him again by the end of this week—properly, mind you—and then the two of you will live freaking happily ever after because if I know Farkle, he’ll be hard pressed to say no. That boy has spent too much of his life in love with you. It’s not any different now.”

Riley allows herself to soak that in.

Is Maya really right? He did love her, but Riley’s not certain that was a real type of love. But then again, Farkle’s never been one to half-ass things. He’s loved her so many ways, so why not love her the way she loves him now?

“I’ll do it,” Riley agrees against her better judgement.

 //

 Wednesday passes. She doesn’t ask Farkle to the prom. Thursday passes. She doesn’t ask. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday all whirl by her quickly, but she still hasn’t mustered the courage to ask. Even after the wonderful pep-talk Maya gave her, Riley still couldn’t find it in herself to breach the subject with him because she was just scared.

Liking Farkle really scared her, and she didn’t like that at all. Because scaring her meant that these feelings were more than just a passing phase, that she was bound to be stuck in this limbo of he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not for the rest of forever until she broke it.

So Sunday night she plans to ask him Monday at the end of school, even gets Maya in on it so that she can’t back out again.

She can’t back out this time; she won’t do it.

When Monday rolls around, Riley thanks whoever is out there that, while they share classes, she and Farkle don’t share the same class periods. It’s what’s helped her endure her second semester of senior year; while she appreciates having him there, she’s not sure she wouldn’t waste her class time glancing at him across the room.

Her last class period of the day moves both fast and at a snail’s pace, so when the bell rings it surprises her so much that she takes her several minutes to gather her things. Riley’s never been more off her game in her entire life, but then again, she’s never had to actually ask Farkle to prom for real before.

(Well, she’s never had to ask Farkle out period. That was always his game, not hers. Too bad she can’t get pointers from him.)

Riley heads out to meet Maya at her locker, passing by the stragglers who haven’t made it out yet, but something catches her eye instead.

It’s Farkle, at his own locker, with a girl who has people standing with her, holding several letters decorated with fake flowers spelling out PROM.

 Riley’s too late.

 //

 PEACHES

where were u???

i stayed at ur locker

like we planned

i even asked farkle if he saw u

he said he didn’t

so something happened

pls tell me ur okay ☹

 Riley doesn’t bother texting Maya despite knowing she owes her best friend an explanation. She’s too busy wallowing in self-pity and the humiliation of rejection to deal with anyone right now.

She should’ve been quicker. She shouldn’t have been a chicken about it and just told him about her dumb, stupid feelings and gotten it over with. Anything at this point would be preferable to the sting Riley feels in her chest when she thinks about how she missed out on not just being Farkle’s date to prom but experiencing prom with him. It’s not the same without him by her side.

So no prom for Riley Matthews. She cashed in on her one chance at going Junior year, and as far as Riley was concerned, this probably meant her chance with Farkle, too.

 But fate is not as kind to her, because Farkle climbs through her window, landing on the cushions of the bay window bench with a soft thud.

“What the heck,” he says, breathing out a sigh of relief when he’s spotted her, “Maya and I thought you died in a ditch! What were you thinking?”

Riley has no response for that. In fact, she’s pretty certain her brain’s shut off entirely for the foreseeable future, because in no way had she planned on encountering Farkle for as long as she could hold it off.

It’s now or never, Matthews, a voice that sounds vaguely like Maya whispers in her mind. Riley exhales.

Right.

“Are you going to prom with that girl?” she asks instead, eyes set with determination. Farkle stares at her, bewildered.

“What?! Your response to Maya and I worrying about your safety is some trivial question about prom?”

“It’s not trivial to me!” Riley exclaims, the burn of embarrassment bubbling up out of her. The intensity of her words must cross Farkle’s radar, because his eyes are widening.

“Riley? What’s going on?”

She makes a decision then, unable to fight with these godforsaken feelings any longer. She tosses the poster she’d worked painstakingly on for hours onto the bed, gesturing to it brazenly.

“I was going to ask you to prom for real today. I know I made a joke of it the other night, but I really meant it. I wanted to go to prom with you because I like you, Farkle. I’m tired of ignoring my feelings and pushing them away because I think it might benefit you. These feelings I have are real and they’re not going away any time soon, okay?”

Farkle’s eyes shift over to the poster, eyes tracing the words over and over again, as if it’s taking him a while to register it.

 You. Me. Prom. Let’s do this thing?

 It was hard for Riley to come up with a way to ask him that was both clever and meaningful, and she chose something that was between them and only them. He had once told her, “You. Me. Mars. Let’s do this thing.” It was always something that hardly meant anything to her back then but means the world to her now, or at least, it did before she realized she’d been too late.

“So?” Farkle asks, voice rough as if his throat had run dry. Riley tilts her head.

“What?”

“Are you going to ask me properly or not? We’re losing daylight here, Matthews,” Farkle says, arms crossed against his chest. Riley scoffs, rolling her eyes. She doesn’t quite get why he’s trying to be cruel to her at this point, but whatever.

“Farkle Minkus, I wanted to know. You. Me. Prom. Let’s do this thing?”

“Yes,” comes his answer, flowing off his tongue as if it’s the easiest thing he’s ever said in his life. Riley nearly jumps out of her seat but recovers at the last second.

“Yes?”

“Riley Matthews, yes, of course I’ll go to prom with you.”

“But—”

“No, I didn’t say yes to that other girl because I had already told you that we could go together. Sure I was kind of disappointed when you said it was as friends, but . . . you’re my best friend. It doesn’t matter what capacity our relationship is, I just want to be with you.”

Riley doesn’t get it.

“Wait, so what you’re saying is—”

“Riley Matthews, I’ve loved you since the first grade. I don’t think I ever stopped, really. So yes, I’ll go to prom with you as your date, because I’m so in love with you it isn’t funny,” Farkle tells her, giving her a gentle, lopsided grin. Riley scrambles off her bed the same time he rises from the bay window bench, the two of them embracing harder than she ever has in her entire life.

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you,” she admits into the crook of his neck. He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.

“It’s okay. You’re the same Riley you’ve always been, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

[hotwaterandmilk]

Our household suffered a loss over the Christmas period, so I'm going to post some random comments about stupid shit to help divert my focus away from being depressed.

New BLOOD+ Anthology!

I received my copy of this year's BLOOD+ Petit Event Anthology this week. The title of this year's volume is "Season Calls Me" and like, the previous anthology, it contains a solid mix of short comics and novels by the small band of active Japanese fandom members for the series.

There are a couple of great little comics (that actually feature my faves, surprisingly) plus, like last time, Fujisaku Jun'ichi and Ishii Akiharu participated as well so we got some great additional content that makes it worth the effort of BUYING RIGHT NOW. What do I mean by this? Brand new colour illustrations from Ishii again, baby!

David smiling is so awkward, I love it. Ishii you have truly blessed us.

I won't be scanning in these images because this is a brand new publication. I ask that you please support all the wonderful fans involved in this doujinshi and purchase your own copy before it sells out.

Kotobuki Tsukasa draws ADG art again!

Kotobuki Tsukasa drew a new version of his Aphrodite illustration that was used for the first Akihabara Dennou Gumi ED sequence. The pic will be featured on his Comiket postcard for this year (2023 is the 25th anniversary of ADG) and I reeeeeaaaaaally want it. Edit: He just posted, it's limited to 127 units & has asked people not to resell so there goes my chance lol. :(

Kotobuki doesn't have the original image anymore so he had to use an online pic as reference and honestly, I think it looks pretty great even without the full studio finish (I particularly love that he incorporated Hibari's expression into Aphrodite as this is the fusion version from the movie).

大切なものなんですか... (it's stuck in your head now, watch here)

In a comment to someone mentioning the possibility of an art book he did say he'd discussed it but it hadn't progressed further. Please, for the love of god, I need an art book to happen! I WOULD PREORDER THE SHIT OUT OF THAT! I just love my '90s anime girls with faces like half-sucked mangos that much, ok?!

I Have an Autographed Yamamoto Yohko Novel!

Honestly this isn't a huge deal, back when the novel series received a kanzenban release Shouji Takashi autographed a lot of books for fans and they surface again every so often for sale. I happened to score one and now I have his autograph.

I'm not a big autograph person, but because the series was canned in 2001-ish the 12th kanzenban volume is the only way to get Shouji's conclusion to the story so I figured two birds with one stone and all that (not that I can read anything these days).

Anyway, it's nice to have. Maybe one of these days I'll work on my TBR pile.

I had actually planned to spend my few days off over the New Year catching up on things, then everything kind of just went to shit. So instead of me achieving anything you get this post of random nonsense while I struggle to process my grief, sorry.

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hey! So sorry for replying late, a lot has happened these past couple of days D: but I hope you've been doing good! (I say as if I've been gone for months aksjdf) anyway, yeah, they're definitely scary. I think it'll be worth being able to be that soft and open with someone though. And I'm glad it did have a positive impact on you! Even if they were hard you came out stronger or wiser in some way. And thank you, you're so sweet :') So do you hon ❤️

hey honeymoon! sorry for taking my time to respond, i hope everything’s been alright with you! 

(2) Terushima really does just seem like a big dork who loves volleyball haha. I feel like his initial vibe would make me not want to interact v much lol but once you get to know him he's actually a good person. and that tongue piercing tho 👀. "that one definitely hurts a lot more than Falling does" then I think I'm good for awhile hahaha. I've already read a sad hospital AU so I'm going to stay FAR away for now. Honestly I wish there was an interesting story behind it but there's not :')

(3) basically I had an art blog and the name of it was kind of a pun with the word "honeydew." but that nickname was already taken and I wanted to be ~original~ sso I didn't want to use it lol. I still liked the honey aspect though and I thought Honeymoon sounded cute. I'm also kind of a secret hopeless romantic and at the time I kept my identity on my art blog a secret, so it kind of felt like an "alter ego" of mine? long story short I liked the nickname and it kinda stuck haha

ok i mean, to be fair, he was super aggressive when he was meeting kiyoko. but i definitely feel like there’s that dorky side to him LMAO.

oooof idk if I can handle any angst rn tbh so i can definitely relate 😭 

that’s honestly such a cute story though??? like, that’s literally so freakin’ adorable. what type of art did you use to do? (and honestly girl, this whole blog is on the DL and i tried super hard to keep it hidden from my life LOL).

there’s nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic though! it gives you a chance to day-dream hehe 💞 what’s your favorite romantic trope? it could be as cliche or non-cliche as you’d like! 

(4) "i’m sorry for being a sadistic fk 🥰" 😀 something tells me you're kind of not LOL (really though I know you're sweet and don't actually want to hurt people akdhf) and honestly I'm glad you decided to expand on it! Chapter one is also great as a standalone but I'm so grateful for the rest so far, and you're doing an amazing job with it love 💖 I understand the chara x chara thing. I don't know if I've ever actually shipped anything to the point of me /wanting/ it to be canon

(6) like, it'd be cool if it was, but I don't actually care y'know? unless it was actual romantic tension built up in the movie/book/series. Fanart and fic is what mostly got me lol. I think the HQ fandom is super diverse/creative in its shipping. Not only because of an incredible story with great characters, but great fans and creators as well. And yes! someone else who likes KuroIwa!! I think that ship is really cute (and they're my top 2 faves so I'm biased haha) have you seen neutinya's art?

i swear i’m nice 💞 thank you so much for the love!! 🥺 i’ve been having writer’s block for a bit, and your comments have honestly motivated me to write so much more for it LOL

i definitely agree though, like, i can’t aggressively fight for one ship over another because it’s literally just not canon. it just feels wrong to “shove that agenda”, so to speak. but it’s always interesting to see all the different character combinations. i never would’ve imagined half of the ones out there if not for this fandom LOL

neutinya’s literally why I have a thing for KuroIwa!! LMAO. i really like the art that they put out. same with bright_stars_45 on IG. Their stuff is literally why i ship Bokuaka soooo hard. 

(7) (did I skip 5?) I really hope I'm numbering those right it's 12:30 am here lol. anyway, it's probably a good thing you weren't in the fandom then. I don't know how it is now, but it was p chaotic and toxic and there was actually controversy surrounding one of those fics. I'm sorry about you and your sister love :( I don't know if you'd ever want to have a strong one with her but I hope you do if you do! and if not then there will always be people you share that with, blood or not 💕

LOL you did skip 5, but it’s okay bby 💖 it’s not too serious tbh. i’m not really close to my family, so i’ve always believed in the “my family is the one’s i choose, not necessarily the one’s i’m blood-related to” :) 

(8) Piglet has always been my fave, but Eeyore and Lumpy are also great. do you have any favorite characters or ones that mean a lot to you? and that's really cool too!! I know being mixed can get super complicated but knowing you have all of those cultures in you in some way is pretty amazing. Honestly I've been undecided for the past 2 years but after everything going on in 2020, I've felt this need to release the truth? no matter what that may be. I know a lot of people say journalism 

(9) isn't an honest profession but, and this will sound arrogant, I want to change that. Even if that just means me being an independent journalist while being an editor to make a living, I'm okay with that. Also it can give you the opportunity to travel, and writing has always been my strong suit. socio is so I can have a better understanding of the world and learn to be less biased and more objective and understanding. What about you? :O

my favorite Disney character is honestly Tiana from Princess and the Frog! her hard-working story is hella relatable to me, and it inspired me to be better for myself if that makes sense? 

TBH the most annoying part of being mixed is being called eXoTiC by guys who are tryna sleep with me 💀 there’s definitely a lot of fetishization about it lol

i hella respect that! the need to release the truth. journalism is honestly a raw and authentic profession that people underestimate because they read from biased sources or the things they read isn’t accurate. i have mad respect for you for following that career path! if there’s anything i could do to help, lmk love 💖 TBH, i chose business because i wanted to open my own business and i love psych because i love understanding the world and the people in my lives. psycho-analysing is one of my hobbies hehe. so similar as to why you did socio!

(10) and yes!!!! tbh I've always liked theatre but was never really one for the stage. I was in a child friendly version of macbeth in 6th grade and that was it lol. In my senior year of high school I performed a slam poem about my depression and my teacher called me emotionally constipated lmaoo. and because of how hs went down for me I never got to take classes anyway. I started getting into sfx/film makeup though and I really want to do that! I also just love the energy of backstage tbh

(11) this is getting really long akfdjh. but yeah I want to learn more! I'm actually kind of struggling in my stage management class right now because I honestly don't know much about theatre so it's overwhelming. I haven't even seen a lot of shows (I did see The Lion King when I was a kid though!! and a few hs productions). enough about me though, what's your favorite part, or what are some of your best memories? I love seeing that it makes you so happy :D

omg i’m so sorry that your teacher called you that. that’s so inappropriate, especially considering the subject matter. i hope that you’ve had a more positive experience involving your work since then. if you ever want to talk about your struggle, please feel free to reach out, ok? 

you must be pretty talented with makeup though! that’s so cool 🤩 i’ve always admired sfx and people who are talented with makeup tbh. what’s your favorite part about it so far? 

i was fortunate enough that my hs had a super talented theatre program that i could be a part of. i had the opportunity to be in both tech, management, and on-stage. i honestly really enjoyed being behind-the-scenes in the management part! it was so great seeing a production from start to finish and knowing that i was involved with that process. i’m a huge theatre nerd tbh 😅 i love watching shows like Phantom of the Opera, Hamilton, RENT and I’ll routinely watch them haha. 

[yeoldontknow]

You don't have to answer these if you don't want to, or if you've explained before! But I'm curious, what do you love most about exo, and why is chanyeol your bias?? ❤️

hello sweet anon!! oh my gosh. this is such a cute ask. ahh~~ i love it. i haven't really talked about why i love EXO; have definitely waxed poetic about chanyeol, both sober and drunk.

i've waxed poetic about PCY, but i would be a terrible stan if i didn't talk about him every time as though it's the first. chanyeol deserves only the best ok. ️

all of this will be under the cut because i ended up doing this on the train and wrote for about 45 minutes lmao

i think what first attracted me to exo was how influenced by R&B they are. obviously i'm aware this is really because of the label/umbrella they operate under. they're kind of at the mercy of management when it comes to producers/songwriters, however there have been loads of times where they've been solo (or featured) and creating music within the genre. or, if you're Do Kyungsoo, sitting in a car singing musiq soulchild like it's nothing.

pcy has been writing his own music for a while, and there's always a R&B/slightly soul feel about it - even the tone he uses in his ballads is rooted slightly in blues cadences, which is one of my all time fave genres. having been lucky enough to see exo live, i can honestly say mostly i was impressed by how diverse they are. i love artists that never sound the same, every album is different and/or influenced by different styles.

again, they are at the mercy of management for this, but the production on every album is incredible. i can't really say it's a cut above the rest of kpop because i have only recently started being a fan of the genre, but the mixing and mastering on each record is unreal. sometimes, it puts me off. it sounds TOO produced; other times, it's refreshing to hear something so clean. the levels are always pretty perfect - i'm not a recording engineer, so this really is just my opinion.

i'm sure this is a more detailed answer than you were expecting, but i literally live and breathe music. exo were my gateway drug into kpop and i genuinely would not have stayed if i couldn't have them flow seamlessly in a playlist of all the other things i listen to on a regular basis.

and now for why i love chanyeol.

here's the thing: i love talent. i love that he decides to do something and then does it. he wants to learn how to bowl? off he goes and does it. he wants to learn to play a moog synth? there he go! there's a lot of wonderful things packed even just in this, so let me pull them apart.

his steadfast devotion to ambition.

his inability to suppress his passion.

his relentless desire to learn.

his fearless ability to try literally anything at least once.

these are insanely admirable qualities to have in a person. he plays so many instruments, sings, learns sports, tries his best at dancing, devotes himself to songwriting, all because of the three things above. he talks about music like it's his soul because it is his soul. he knows he could likely anything, and, therefore, is willing to try everything. when he commits his brain to something, he makes it happen, and that's something i try to do in my everyday life.

then we have his unwavering kindness. his unyielding desire to spread love and happiness. he wants to make those around him laugh. he wants to take care of those around him - the most important people in his life are spoiled to hell.

then we have his ability to be human. he openly admits that when things get difficult, and he feels pressured, he cries. sure, he does his best to keep it from his members but his reason for doing so stems from the above: he doesn't want to burden them/he knows they're going through the same shit he is/and he'd rather make them smile when he's with them than make them sad. that he even admits to being open with his emotions is a humble, beautifully human thing to do, and i find it impossible not to admire that.

he's also the first to support the other members in all their endeavors. he's basically kai's biggest fan. junmyeon released a solo song? he did an insta live playing the damn thing on loop. ksoo has terrible eyesight which makes it look like he's glaring at everyone and literally scared the other members into submission? chanyeol was the first to talk to him, go to dinner with him, and walk him home. he bought the entire band gaming computers so they could play a game as a team and bond in a different way.

also: don't get me started on how the boy is allergic to cats, yet found a stray cat on location at a shoot and went out of his way to buy it food/pet it/love it.  

again. i'm sure these are way more details than you ever would have asked for, but my love for Ultimate Bias Park Chanyeol is honestly unlimited. i am stopping myself because i feel like i should, not because i've run out of things to say.

it's easy to say any member of a group or band deserves love - of course they do! but, for me, chanyeol is the embodiment of love, kindness, humble connection, and unfailing acceptance of the fact that he is only human. there's a lot to admire in him while also an ability to see his flaws - and i love those flaws because they make him who he is. he has a lot to learn because he is young and here's what's exciting: he will learn it because he simply doesn't seem to stop.

tl;dr i really like exo, but i love and, most importantly, respect Park Chanyeol with every fiber of my weak heart.