#i'm really sorry this is so long...

[chevalperd]

hiii everyone ive made another person!! an alnst s41 person!!! this is nilaavu :D i have tried very hard to make her not blurry so i'm very sorry if she's blurry but this is my best effort 😔

VERY long yapfest about nilaavu's personality, preliminary lore, and psychoanalysis under the cut!! i love alliteration

hi so this is nilaavu!! she/her, demiromantic ace. very tall. her name, നിലാവ്, means "moonlight" in malayalam! in case you're wondering how to say it in your head, i only learned malayalam second-hand so don't quote me, and also this is kind of adjusted for ease of speaking in english, but you can just pronounce it "ni-la-vu" with more of an "ih" sound than an "ee" sound, and with the word's emphasis on the "la" sound in the middle. the "vu" sound at the end is not actually like that but what my mother doesn't know won't hurt her issok. guys look at that i contained my linguistics nerd i didn't even pull out the international phonetic alphabet are you proud

nilaavu wears a lot of different hats in the entertainment industry. a lot of her time goes to being part of the idol group crAwl with kafka, light, eunbin, everest, amara, and jwi, but she also models, walks runways, does radio things, ambassadors for brands, does pet shows, talk shows, always busy busy busy. she's not just a household name but a household personality, so to speak—she's well-known for being very pretty, visually versatile, and having an endearing, consistent on-screen personality

said on-screen personality being: soft-spoken, serene, always a little sleepy but in a pretty way, gentle, follows directions, prone to sneezing (she has allergies) but in a pretty way, snuggly. cute, wholesome to watch, like those really cute kittens that go viral for yawning. when it comes to modeling and other things, though, she can fit a lot of different concepts, from more hardcore aesthetics to sweet angelic kinds of things, and her voice is naturally soft and sweet but is trained to fit all genres just fine.

in addition to her training, nilaavu has gone through several experimental erm. improvements...in terms of her appearance, behavior, and mindset. her collar is always green, and everything neither pleases nor displeases her. she's immune to most common human illnesses. the only thing they never managed to code out of her is like, 7 million allergies. god save her

nilaavu's on-screen personality isn't really fake—it is how she has been created to operate. she's naturally good at pleasing the segyein, and she puts thought into being the perfect human for her guardian, who has a "it's because i love you unconditionally that i want you to be happy, so you have to fulfill these conditions that i think will make you happy (or else i will stop loving you)" kind of thing going on. nilaavu has yet to not fulfill these conditions, so she believes her perfectly fine and thinks she is simply made to be loved by segyein, and that since it is not in her programming to do anything the segyein wouldn't like, they will always love her

the thing about that is, she knows how to please the segyein, but humans are another thing altogether. the segyein will love you if you smile and yawn and sneeze but don't have any feelings at all, and that's all she can do. humans, on the other hand, even the most docile ones, want to be friends with humans. who would love a blank doll who only echoes your opinions? humans naturally seek real people with passions and desires and personalities and flaws. nilaavu doesn't think she has any of those things—with her modifications, she is more alien product at this point than human. so, in her opinion, she doesn't have any friends and will never be really loved by or important to any of her peers.

(she thinks) the only thing she has much of an opinion on is sleeping, which she likes, not just because she's naturally sleepy all the time but actually sleeping is something that she can only do when comfortable and safe, meaning sleeping = comfortable = yay. it's also because sleeping is a natural human function that real humans do. she doesn't think she has any wants, but she wants to be a human worth loving, and when she sleeps, she's acting just like any other person without having to do anything human at all. she thinks it's the only thing human about her.

of course, even though she's accepted that no one will care about her, she makes nice with the people close to her (she thinks this is just the way she's programmed but [psychologist voice] i think she actually just 1) likes making people happy and 2) hopes someone will be her friend). she speaks to them kindly, offers support the way she's seen other people offer support, snuggles them because they're warm, and is always a good helpful teammate. she's awful at humor, especially sarcasm, but she's good at recognizing patterns. she tries her best to use those patterns to make people laugh, because when people laugh, she feels nice and warm, comfortable enough to fall asleep. and she still thinks she doesn't really care about people sighs

she does actually have preferences and she becomes loyal to people easily, she just doesn't know it sniffles. pats her head

anyway i think i'll stop it there before i keep going on and on about her. i hope you like her!! the rest of her lore must be earned through a series of tortuous side quests

tags: mentioned ocs created by @alien-til-i-stage (kafka) @lookatmysillies (light) @apple8ees (eunbin) @verdantlights (everest) @nottoonedin (amara) @imperfectnothing (jwi)

@awaggaa @ivanttakethis @4listr i think that's everyone who isn't mentioned above who expressed interest sorry if you actually didn't wanna be tagged!! thank you for your support everyone!! spins you around

[climbingthefloors]

obsessed with this baby hippo from thailand's khao khew zoo.. she has been so utterly betrayed by the world

[egophiliac]

get 'em before they melt!

(the flavors are 99% vibes + first thought only thought, don't take them too seriously)

[gotchibam]

Absol, Sylveon, and Marowak ko-fi doodle for Airi! ☁️💤

[chalkrub]

new guy alert!! she's a lindwyrm who pilots an old suit of armour and has caused many legends of evil ghost knights staggering down the road at night. in reality she's not a ghost, she's a nasty little man who wants to sell you illicit substances and talk about her insane and sordid past

[forgettable-au]

FORGETTABLE-AU (Page 48-52)

FOUND.

[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]

[kensatou]

you think YOU had a bad day at work?

bonus: sid shrieking "no!!!! NO!!!!!" loud enough to be heard in the stands and on camera

[monstermonger]

bit of a silly question here but have you ever gotten afraid to draw in a journal like the one you recently shared? like the idea of using the pages "incorrectly" or "wasting" them (or running out right before you get inspiration that might have been "better" than what you'd jotted down)? your art is INCREDIBLE and I know the best way to improve is to do it, all the time, but I struggle getting started for those sorts of fears, and I want to know if you have tips for overcoming that ^^

I don't think it's a silly question, in fact I think it's one of the Ultimate Art Questions haha

Yes I 100% struggled with that in the past; i'm happy to try my best, sharing some personal tips in journaling, specifically! :D

TECHNICAL SIDE:

>> Small simple sketchbook = less intimidating to fill the pages. (Also, easy to carry around)

5x7in Moleskin, and a pilot pen

>> My journal ISN'T a place to prove that I can make pretty pictures. I have separate sketchbooks for that. I use journals to jot down ideas and notes of things I like. (yes i shared a few pages that happened to look nice, but there were 100+ other pages after all d: )

Spontaneous observation is messy and imprecise. But not in a bad way.

Rather than seeing the messiness as "bad/unworthy imperfection," try to see it as a miraculous insight to how you, a unique human being with your unique thoughts and art experience, sees the things you like

My journal process (in general): doodle a pretty cake I ate, a funny bird I saw, some weird dialogue I overheard, stickers, stamps, a character in a book that I want to draw as a dragon,......... scatter them all over the page, then look at the random blocks of empty paper remaining. Fill those up next with another lil quote, or words about the week, or some pretty vines/flowers :) etc. It's like making a collage.

Draw what you actually LIKE + what actually sounds FUN to draw. u can always take photos/save pics of other stuff if it's overwhelming.

>> Find your comfort tools. I love ink. how it looks, feels, etc; I hardly ever use pencil. A sketch that I need to ink over is usually too much work for my journal. I'm just trying to get down ideas before I get bored or get inspired by another thing LOL

[But yeah: pencils can be the perfect tool for someone else. Regular pencils, colored pencils, watercolor pencils... play around with a bunch of basic tools to find your fav.]

EMOTIONAL SIDE:

I highly recommend Lynda Barry's book "Making Comics." She has some lovely, and deeply empathetic things to say about overcoming fear of making "bad" art.

My journal scribblings/therapeutic studies --- someone with 10x the skill could do it better, sure, but they probs wouldn't focus on the same details, or be interested in the same monsters, or be thinking the same thoughts as me.

They won't have the same things to say about their day, won't see the same spindly tree growing from a crumbling brick wall on their walk. etc!

Also! imo this POV isn't an excuse to feel like I don't need to improve my technical skill, but it keeps me happy, fulfilled, and motivated as I'm on that road of improvement. AND it makes me appreciate others' incredible art as their own reflection of the things they love/their own experiences, rather than view it competitively/jealously.

"Drawing is so much more than Good or Bad. It is a language from another part of you." - Lynda Barry

[soonhoonsol]

#10YearsWithSEVENTEEN 150526 - 250526, and counting

[peace-hunter]

the struggle of having to fight your best friend and be serious about it when the two of you have the same sense of humor and were each other's "yes and-" partner for years </3

anyway. de verdad es tu mejor amigo si no joteas con él cada que puedes 🤭??

haunted au (<- just a little bit tho lmao)

chat transcript under the readmore lol

nexus: he's far too close :/

solus: get him away!!1!!

alchemist: you have to distract him

zeta: throw him off balance

liege: flirt with him lol

zeta: what no

vector: DO NOT

alchemist: bad idea bad idea bad idea

megatronus: i'm disowning you if you do

nexus: no way he's doing that

solus: holy frag he did it

micronus: HOLY FRAG HE DID IT LMAOOO

megatronus: I'M NEVER TALKING TO EITHER OF YOU EVER AGAIN

liege: YES YES YES LET'S FRAGGING GOOOOOO

zeta: OPTIMUS PRIME WE DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE ENEMY

vector: if you get out of this alive i'm dragging you to the allspark myself do you hear me

megatronus: I'M DISOWNING BOTH OF YOU

nexus: DO YOU WANT HIM TO GET CLOSER

alchemist: TERRIBLE IDEA TERRIBLE IDEA TERRIBLE IDEA

prima: everyone stfu right now!!

liege: ABORT ABORT ABORT ABORT HE'S INTO IT

alchemist: WORST IDEA EVER WORST IDEA EVER TERRIBLE NO GOOD WORST IDEA EVER

megatronus: IF HE EVEN THINKS ABOUT IT I'M CRAWLING OUT OF HTE ALLSPAPRK AND OFFLINING HIM MYSELF

zeta: GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY

solus: OH NO HE'S A FREAK TOO

vector: I FRAGGING TOLD YOU

prima: OPTIMUS PRIME YOU ARE GROUNDED

micronus: KICK HIM IN THE NUTS

nexus: WHY ON PRIMUS' NAME ARE YOU BLUSHING

onyx: THIS IS NOT THE TIME OPTIMUS

megatronus: I SWEAR IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT I'M DRAGGIN YOU BOTH TO THE PIT

zeta: WE DO NOT FLIRT WITH THE ENEMY AND WE ARE NOT SEDUCED BY THE ENEMY EITHER

[mienar]

close-ups of a commission i did a while back! 🌱

instagram | shop | commission info

[thedelicatearcher]

every morning, finnick odair wakes up next to you. the sun filters through the curtains, filling the room with soft light as the clock strikes 5 am. he quickly realizes it’s early, and you’re still in deep slumber, breathing steadily without any worry about the world around you. 

he can’t help but succumb to his selfish cravings. leaning in, he buries his face in your hair and hums at your scent. the soft scent of lily soap makes his heart flutter like a schoolboy.

your lover wraps his arms around you and holds you close to him. finnick tries to keep his hold on you as light as a feather to avoid disturbing your sleep. but the moment his body is pressed against yours and his chin finds its place on your shoulder, he feels you begin to stir.

a pang of guilt tugs at his heart, and he scrambles to lull you back to sleep. “shh, honey,” he coos. “it’s just me. just wanted to hold my pretty girl for a bit,” he whispers softly in your ear, his voice a bit husky. he presses soft kisses to your neck to lull you back to sleep.

after you fall back to sleep, he cuddles your sleepy figure and enjoys the warmth of your body against his. with your back against his chest, he wonders if you can feel how fast his heart beats for you, even in your sleep. 

his strong arms around your torso make him wonder if you feel safe with him, the way your presence makes him feel like he can breathe a little easier. your gentle voice, as you tell him how brave he is, silences the self-deprecating voices in his mind. and your sweet, tender touches contrast with everything he’s ever known.

ever since he opted out of the mission assigned to him by the now-deceased president coin, he has felt a deep ache in his chest. he feels useless, constantly comparing himself to his fellow victors and the rest of the prop team. 

it’s a feeling he can’t shake, even after you’ve reassured him time and time again that he’s  already made enough sacrifice for the rebellion, and that his worth doesn’t depend on how much he has contributed to rebuilding his district from the ground up. 

memories of his time in the capitol still cloud his mind, his arms tightening around you every time his thoughts take him back. but beneath all the self-deprecating thoughts, finnick is quietly grateful he didn’t go with the prop team. 

if even soldiers like boggs didn’t make it back, how could he believe he would have? the day before the quarter quell, he promised you he would come back to you. the thought of running away, going so far away that he could live a simpler life by your side, was one of the few things that kept him going through the games. and every time his mind wandered to the possibility of his death, his heart ached as he pictured you completely shattered and alone, especially knowing that a death at the hands of the capitol would be neither quick nor painless.

when he feels you moving in your sleep, finnick is pulled from his thoughts and back home to you, to a simple life in district four. to a small house by the beach, where the biggest worries are whether the fishing nets you cast will hold, and making sure the neighbor’s cat doesn’t snatch more fish than you’ve already given him.

[egophiliac]

once again, don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

(eventually I will get back to being less scribbly, whoops)

[gotchibam]

Shiny Mimikyu, Shiny Sylveon, and Shiny Whimsicott ko-fi doodle for wanderbanana! ✨

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

MDZS Severance AU: Get me out of here.

[khaoala]

❝It's time for a new goal. I want to live for you now.❞

FIRST KANAPHAN as KANT PATTANAWAT and KHAOTUNG THANAWAT as BISON episode 8 of THE HEART KILLERS