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#i'm sorry i'm getting to this so late after his birthday BUT THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHHH!!!
tvrningout-a · 1 year
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through swarming ravens had she received the message of a certain pillar's birthday. of course, being the ghost that she wished to remain, a conversation or wishes from her own mouth were seen as impossible. alas, she still wished to make her presence known. & as such, the flame hashira would discover a beautiful arrangement of vibrant fire poppies — flowers that were known to prosper within smoke, heat & most importantly: upon charred soil. 
within the arrangement was the second part of her gift: a ring that appeared a deep onyx at first, alas, when the light of the sun hit it — the red garnet that framed the jewelry became visible. it was mainly forged out of obsidian: a gemstone known to release emotional, physical & spiritual blockages as well as drawing out tension & stress from one's body. the red garnet symbolized passionate devotion towards family, friends, one's own self & their purpose in life. it is also believed to stimulate the senses & increase vitality & stamina. all of these informations & tidbits were hastily scribbled upon a piece of paper that was framed by the flowers & under it all: happy birthday. thank you for protecting this land, dear flame hashira. may all your days be blessed. signed by earth's divinity ♥ // for kyojuro hehe <3
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYO ❤ | @vonerde's gaia gives kyojuro a gift!
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it isn't often that kyojuro receives gifts -- or rather, it isn't often that someone successfully gives him one. he's never been good at accepting gifts, never felt quite right gaining something for his efforts as a slayer. it isn't why he does this, after all, and he'd rather people spend their money on themselves rather than on him ( shouldn't they treat themselves for surviving an encounter with a demon rather than reward a man trained for such things? ).
but this gift -- with its thoughtfully picked flowers and stunning craftsmanship -- is really too much. kyojuro reads the accompanying note over and over, trying to recall if he's ever met someone who called themselves " earth's divinity " the way uzui called himself " the god of festivals, " but he comes up short. he's never met such a person, and he's certainly never met any sort of divinity before.
his mind stills on that thought, eyes studying the sweet note and the signature once more. he tilts his head, feels his lips tug into a smile.
one doesn't have to meet a god to be watched over by them, do they?
a more skeptical man would dismiss the possibility, but not kyojuro who hears his mother's voice in moments of strife, feels her hands steadying him when his body falters. he accepts that maybe this gift really is from a deity, bows his head in a silent thank you ( do all gods hear prayers said to them? now he wonders ). it's a comforting thought, that a higher being would show such care for a human -- to not only watch over him but to gift him items specifically suited to him.
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kyojuro's crow perches herself upon his shoulder, and he gently brushes a finger over her beak. " i wish i could send a letter back! it seems wrong not to when they went to so much trouble! " he says aloud, rereading the note one more time as if that might reveal some sort of new information. " ...would a god even have a home address? "
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astonmartinii · 8 months
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kiss it better | oscar piastri social media au
pairing: oscar piastri x first responder!reader when oscar crashes into the barrier at monza, he thinks he sees his guardian angel, in reality he's just got a concussion and that's a first responder, but it's the thought that counts.
f1
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f1: woah. huge shunt for oscar piastri in turn three. the australian was pulled out of the car by first responders and is getting treatment. red flag for now.
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user1: omg like my breath was completely gone, i hope oscar is okay
user2: holy shit that's the worst crash i've ever seen i'm so glad they aren't replaying it
user3: i tuned in late and i knew as soon as they didn't replay it it had to be bad
user4: thank the lord for the first responders, they were so fast i hope oscar is good
user5: i'm gonna need netflix to take the backseat on this one i can't take the dramatic editing this is already stressful enough
user6: the grosjean crash was bad enough, i can't deal with it with oscar
user7: are there any updates yet?
user8: not yet.
user9: i'm sat in the grandstand right where this was and it was literally so scary, the first responders literally had to jump on the car
user10: so so lucky that they were stationed so close to where he crashed
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri: first of all i'd like to thank everyone for their support and well wishes, i really appreciate it. it's actually thanks to y/n and the rest of the first responders that i'm back on my feet as fast as i am. big thank you to y/n for sacrificing her ability to shower comfortably to help me out of the car and avoid the flames, i am eternally grateful and mama piastri would like you over for dinner to thank you.
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user9: i'm so so happy he's okay, that crash was so scary
landonorris: glad to hear you're okay mate !
oscarpiastri: you can't get rid of me that easily norris
landonorris: woah, no joking about dying when you've only been discharged for 24 hours
oscarpiastri: sorry, skipped over that one in my contract
danielricciardo: make sure you always read that mclaren contract carefully
user11: thank you y/n for your service
user12: for real she put her leg on the line for oscar she needs a raise
yourusername: it was my pleasure to do my job and help you out oscar. and i'll always take up an offer for a mum's dinner
oscarpiastri: she'll be very happy to hear that
yourusername: text me the details and i'll be there
user13: it's so crazy to me how f1 drivers just get up and walk out of crashes like that
user14: no for real how is the medic more injured than him 😭
logansargent: you are so lucky there were no cameras when you were on painkillers cause you were talking some shit
oscarpiastri: please don't remind me
logansargent: just because there weren't cameras in the room doesn't mean i didn't record you, i look forward to my birthday present this year
oscarpiastri: you wouldn't
logansargent: you wanna bet?
user15: so like how bad do we think what oscar said was?
user16: and how much do we need to pay logan to release it?
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mclaren
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mclaren: after her heroics in the first half of the season, y/n finally took oscar up and is a guest of mclaren this weekend. as a medic, y/n is one of the most important aspects of a race weekend, and it's an honour to host her!
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user17: did oscar write this caption? that man was BLUSHING in the fan questions video
user18: awwww mama piastri is also there this weekend and in a load of the pictures in the paddock they stuck together
oscarpiastri: so happy to see you again y/n !!
yourusername: my pleasure, oscar. racing is a lot more fun from the garage
oscarpiastri: i'll try my best not to crash this time, i know my favourite medic isn't on duty
yourusername: oh wow what a title, i'll wear it with pride
user19: they're such dorks i love them so much
landonorris: can someone get me some popcorn, i'm enjoying watching oscar squirm and blush all weekend
oscarpiastri: i am NOT !!
landonorris: don't worry i'm sure y/n finds it cute
oscarpiastri: can you please STOP !!
yourusername: not to prove lando right but it is very cute
user20: lando is taking his big brother role a bit too far
alexalbon: you were right @logansargent this is fun to watch
logansargent: oh just you wait until you find out the stuff he was saying in hospital
oscarpiastri: please stop telling people
alexalbon: from what i heard she was right there @yourusername what did he say logan is being a good friend (for now)
yourusername: considering i literally fried my leg getting him out i don't remember most of that day
alexalbon: UGH you people are no help
yourusername: ???
oscarpiastri: ???
yourusername
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yourusername: no pulling this one out of a burning wreck this weekend 👍
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user21: omg oscar's smile ??? i am faint
landonorris: do i mean nothing to you?
yourusername: i am literally oscar's guest let me rep him in peace
landonorris: booooooo if you're going to wear his number might as well ask him out while you're at it
yourusername: mind your business, i know what i'm doing
user22: Y/N?????????
oscarpiastri: i see you know my angles already, can you come every weekend?
yourusername: i'd love to but i have a lil thing called a job :(
oscarpiastri: boring, can't you be my full time personal photographer?
landonorris: and his girlfriend?
oscarpiastri: do you mind?
landonorris: what? i'm just trying to help
oscarpiastri: you are MEDDLING
yourusername: you guys done?
oscarpiastri: yes
landonorris: NO
user23: lando is a no 1 y/n x oscar shipper he's so real
user24: y/n is so much stronger than me i'd hand in my notice right this second
yourusername: believe me i would if i could
landonorris: to both options?
oscarpiastri: LANDO STOP
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yourusername
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yourusername: happy to be your guardian angel baby x
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user29: new f1 parents just entered the chat
landonorris: i'm taking responsibility for this happening, you’re welcome
yourusername: stop right there buddy, this was all ME
oscarpiastri: nuh uh it was ME
yourusername: i asked YOU out?
oscarpiastri: technically yes, but i asked you to dinner first
yourusername: actually, if i remember correctly that was your mum
oscarpiastri: FINE you asked me out and i'm very glad you did and you ARE my guardian angel and you ARE way out of my league
landonorris: you said it i didn't
oscarpiastri: LANDO LET ME FLIRT IN PEACE YOU NUISANCE
landonorris: woah, you've changed bro
yourusername: are we finished boys?
landonorris: yes, and for real i am very happy for you guys
user30: lando saying he made this happen is the most lando thing ever
logansargent: can you tell him to stop ignoring me now?
yourusername: soz under strict rules not to fraternize with a traitor
logansargent: I'M SORRY BUT I CAN'T HANDLE SPICE
user31: at least logan is self-aware
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri: sometimes all you need to do is flip an f1 car into a barrier and burst into flames to meet the love of your life (and give her third degree burns)
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user32: OSCAR WITH A BACKWARDS CAP TEACHING HER TENNIS SOMEONE CALL 911 I AM NOT OKAY
landonorris: okay we get it now you guys are cute
yourusername: for someone who was 'the reason we got together' you've changed your tune
landonorris: yes i am glad you have each other but that doesn't change the fact that i am LONELY and don't need to see gross couple stuff
oscarpiastri: you poor baby
landonorris: NO SYMPATHY?
oscarpiastri: i'm gonna cite all of your tomfoolery in the other comment sections
landonorris: okay fair
user33: okay but can we promise to never have a crash like that again?
yourusername: agreed
aussiegrit: happy for you kid
oscarpiastri: thank you mark :)
yourusername: so this is mark... hi?
aussiegrit: don't worry i've heard nothing but wonderful things about you, i look forward to meeting you at the next race
user34: y/n already has all of the approval oh wow
yourusername: i love you dummy (never do that again or i'll never talk to you again)
oscarpiastri: you got it, wins only from now on 🫡
yourusername: ur the champion in my heart
oscarpiastri: 🧡 🧡 🧡
logansargaent
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logansargeant: public shaming is good sometimes. though now i third wheel with only a fish by my side
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user35: i am SCREAMING
yourusername: oh florida boy, your time will come (don't put that fish pic on your tinder, i know you want to)
logansargeant: girls love fish?
yourusername: trust me they don't
logansargeant: is this just because oscar is bad at fishing?
yourusername: DELETE IT FROM YOUR TINDER PROFILE NOW OR THIRD WHEEL FOREVER
user36: what is going on here?
alexalbon: god logan this is tragic, how did you expose him and end up with a fish as your date
logansargeant: but is the size of the fish not impressive?
alexalbon: no, take y/n's advice
oscarpiastri: fine, you're forgiven. only because y/n found it cute, if she found it weird it would be you found at the bottom of a lake
logansargeant: ???????????? there was a chilli oscar
oscarpiastri: stop hiding behind your american passport, i'd eat that chilli for you
logansargeant: but it all worked out?
oscarpiastri: thankfully for you
yourusername: is it bad that this is kinda sexy?
logansargeant: he threatened to murder me?
yourusername: he's so protective 🫶
oscarpiastri: hehehehe thanks babe x
logansargeant: i give up.
note: WOAH two in one night? i am on a roll. anyhow, do enjoy, i love oscar so much so glad he extended !! xx
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ma1dita · 1 month
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BABEEE happy birthday!! (i'm so terribly late i'm so sorry) congrats on 23💖
🐥 so i'm having thoughts right now about luke x reader and physical affection. like maybe one of them being touch starved and always craving the other person's touch and the other person noticing it and doing it more? maybe from platonic (i will go down with best friends to lovers) to romantic, i'm just on this brainrot tonight
🐥🐥🐥🐥🐥
luke castellan x reader
a/n: back from the klerb but here with a classic 4am post 🥂 but the hangxiety wont let me rest until this is out! ill edit this in the morning... or not 😗
wc: 1.1k
It’s hard to miss what you’ve never had.
Luke Castellan was never a touchy guy. Sure, he’ll hold a new camper’s hand during welcome tours (especially the little ones who can barely keep up with his long legs; if they’re lucky they get a piggy back ride), and he won’t shy away from a clap on the back when his strategies for capture the flag bring his team to victory (they always do, mind you), and when he feels like it, he’ll even shove Annabeth playfully to show her he adores her (but she packs a punch now that she’s older).
It never really goes past that, and he’s never had to think too hard about it—physical touch.
He’s the one who takes care of others—a part of his nature like it is for Hermes’ cabin to take in unclaimed demigods. But something changed in the months that he’s gotten closer to you. At first, he’d bite his tongue at the way you’re so open to patting his cheek when he does something funny (which he doesn’t try to make a show of, but now…), how you choose to sit so close to him during bonfires that your knees touch (the Apollo kids could be singing about the heavens falling down on them for all he cares but he zeroes in on every word that leaves your lips), and the way you’d lock your fingers with him for a pinky promise after every little thing ‘to make sure it’s real’ (Luke didn’t understand the merit of a pinky promise over whether you could have his dessert for the next week if you took over arts and crafts with the kiddie campers for him; truthfully he’d give it to you anyway). It was unusual for him to have someone comfort him, to show care without a true reason. But he didn’t realize how much more it bothered him now that you wouldn’t even look him in the eye.
Silena and some of the other Aphrodite children had asked you the very defining question of, “Do you like Luke Castellan?” and having never thought of it that way, or being able to put your feelings for him in words instead of fingers in his belt loops or in the muss of his curls—that shit was terrifying!
You spent all Saturday afternoon at the docks with them belly down under the glare of the sun’s rays as they explained to you what the five love languages are. By the end of it, sunburn wasn’t the only reason you felt hot.
“Your love language is physical touch,” one of Silena’s older half-siblings—Connelly, says like he’s explaining that the sky is blue, “And Luke’s not that type of guy! Think he’s more acts of service…”
“Ooh, or words of affirmation….” another one of them muses, but the sound of your heartbeat tunes it all out. Well shit, have you been sending him the wrong signals? Or are there even any signals you want to send him?��
Nevertheless, in the matters of love or even the tiniest whisper of it—maybe there’s no one else you can trust with this stuff besides Cabin 10.
Wrong.
Absolutely wrong. Whatever the hell you’ve been convinced or whatever’s changed since last weekend—Luke just knows he hates it, and he’s angry. He’s angry at how you gasp in surprise every time you brush shoulders during archery practice when you used to let him fix your form, he’s angry at how you’ll squeeze campers’ shoulders to tell them they’re doing a good job carrying the strawberry crates—and all he gets is a mumbled ‘Thanks, Castellan’ when he stacks them up and takes your load.
Luke’s so terribly angry that Travis told him he’s been walking around like a big strawberry, face red and irritated—but not at you. 
He realizes he’s also angry at the fact that he can’t protect you from the onslaught of a rain cloud—or maybe it was the fact that you’re so okay with the rain touching your skin and seeping through your orange shirt like he wishes you’d let him. He’s angry at the way the wind blows your hair into your face and your fingers brush the strands away like he wishes he can. Most of all, Luke Castellan is angry that he didn’t know how good a simple touch could be until he lost it—before he even really got to appreciate yours.
You’re sitting on the opposite end of the row in the amphitheater laughing with your friends and the furrow in his thick brow is a tell-tale sign of his discomfort. Luke doesn’t dare to remember what it’s like before you to be honest—he’d rather give up Elysium instead of having you ignore him like this. He calls your name, a tinge of both anger and desperation until you look over at him, eyelashes kissing your cheeks. The hold you have on him transcends the physical touch of your fingers but he wants, no—needs you next to him.
“C’mere! Why are you so far away?”
Luke hopes it doesn’t sound pathetic, but a crooked grin splits across his face as soon as you make your way over, sitting down and crossing your legs away from him. It’s still too far, even if he can feel your breath on his shoulder.
“Did I do something to make you angry? I…” The words escape his mouth in a jumble—quick wit from his father escaping him, though he knows not to rely on that asshole, god or not. You mutter words that almost escape him too, and he leans in, chasing your hands and putting them in his own until they’re gentle and soft in his lap.
“No, no…. I just… don’t want to push your boundaries. I know you don’t like it when I’m too touchy,” and he thinks his heart clenches a little like how you’re squeezing his hands. Luke shouldn’t feel instant gratification from a subconscious action. He wants to know you mean it with him—that’s what he can’t put into words.
“I….like it when you do.”
You notice the way his fingers tangle tighter with yours, pinkys interlocking with yours. When he lets go, Luke wraps his arm around your shoulders until you’re able to laugh in the crook of his neck. He chooses to place a kiss on the corner of your mouth when your head sways to face him at the silly tune about centaurs and then you realize that Luke loves the way you love him. You wonder if he accidentally missed meeting your lips, but then the noise in your head quiets down when he pulls you closer, lips locking tenderly, intentionally—as they were always meant to.
You both hear a giggle that sounds a lot like tinkling bells belonging to children of Aphrodite. 
For once they were wrong about love. 
Luke’s tongue parts through your lips and meets your own like they’re in a long awaited embrace, dancing and devouring you from the inside out but this, you— are what he can rely on. This, your touch, and how he chooses to let it consume him, never letting go.
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jayybugg · 28 days
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study session
Theodore Nott x Fem!Reader
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Summary: You're studying with Theo in the library...or are you?
Warning: Established Relationship, Dirty Talk, No House Specified, Kind of Public Sex, Smut (18+), No Use of Y/N, Google Translate Italian, No Plot literally just sex.
Word Count: 1.6K
Note: Wrote this based on a dream I had.....which was based on an RP scenario that I did. Obviously, Theo takes up a lot of space in my mind. Early birthday gift for my Georgie, @pizzaapeteer, please wish her an early birthday and thank you because she is the reason I got this done. @cafekitsune for the banners as always!
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You raced to the library, giving small hello’s and excuse me's to the people you passed. You had promised Theo that you would help him with his Charms homework after your club meeting, but you had gotten carried away with some discussions causing the meeting to run over. You hoped that Theo wasn't there yet or would just be arriving because you knew the small quips about your tardiness wouldn't stop if he was already there.
You made it into the library, climbing the stairs to the secluded corner of the floor. A small table with two chairs that you and Theo often claimed whenever you both decided to do some studying. You groaned softly, seeing Theo already seated with a shit-eating grin on his face when you rounded the corner.
"So late, bella. Almost thought you stood me up." Theo said as you sat down next to him. You rolled your eyes, pulling out your Charms notes and your textbook. "Oh, shut up. I've never stood you up before."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, why are you late?" Theo leaned in; his mouth curved into a smirk. You flicked his forehead causing him to lean back, rubbing it softly. "I got caught up in the meeting. I'm sorry, Teddy."
"It's fine, principessa." Theo said, opening his notes, "Just like teasing you."
You and Theo quickly fell into a nice rhythm of studying and light conversation. You gave him the notes to copy as you worked on the actual assignment. You always felt at ease when you studied with Theo, it was one of the only times that he seemed to relax. Usually that was reserved for when you both were in the privacy of your dorms and even then, Theo would rather be participating in other activities.
More time passed before you started wiggling in your chair, your butt starting to fall asleep. "This chair is uncomfortable." You whined, standing up to try to regain some feeling. Theo chuckled, leaning back in his seat, and patting his thigh. "Well, I'm quite comfortable if I do say so myself."
You rolled your eyes as you slid over to him, nestling yourself in his lap. "You've been waiting for this moment, haven't you?"
"I'm always looking for a way to get you in my lap, love. It's where you belong." Theo said, winking at you. You smiled, shaking your head, and returning to your reading for your homework.
Theo's hand reached your thigh, running up and down your leg. Once he finished copying the notes, he trailed his hand under your skirt. You glanced up from your reading to meet his eyes that were already trained on your face.
"Shouldn't you be starting on the assignment now?" You swatted his hand away from your thigh, raising an eyebrow at him. Theo smirked, putting his hand back, "Yeah, but I don't feel like reading that text right now."
His hand once again traveled up your skirt to the hem of your underwear. "Why don't you read it to me, principessa?"
"Read it to you?" You raised an eyebrow at him, "What are you trying to do?"
"Nothing, I just want to hear your sweet voice." Theo smiled, "I'll even reward you."
Your eyes scanned Theo's face, landing on his eyes. The usual expressionless eyes held a certain swirl of mischief in them. "You're up to something."
"Maybe, maybe not. Why don't you read and find out?" Theo shrugged, his smirk never going away. You rolled your eyes, conceding to his request.
"Charms are comprised of a wide range of spells. They focus on giving a target new and unexpected properties or making the target perform certain actions, along with other effects." You recited from the book. Theo's fingers softly moved the fabric of your underwear, pressing down on your clit with the pad of his thumb.
You yelped softly, looking up at Theo. He was leaning into his hand propped on the table, his smirk remaining as he held eye contact with you. "Theo," You hissed, "We're in the library."
"I know, bella. Why are you bringing up the obvious? Keep reading, I'm intrigued." Theo contorted his face into fake confusion, all while massaging your clit with his thumb. You narrowed your eyes at him, taking a shaking breath as you felt a familiar feeling boil inside you.
"Charms were distinguished from Transfiguration spells in the regards that a charm will add to or change the properties of an object while Transfiguration spells change the object completely." You continued reading as Theo removed his thumb from your clit, quickly replacing it with his index finger. He trailed up and down your pussy, smiling as you stuttered upon your next sentences.
"Offensive and protective spells f-fall under Charms such as the Stunning, Disarming, mmm, spell, and the Shield spell. The Tickling spell- oh!" Theo’s finger slipped its way into your pussy, pumping in and out as you read. You shut your eyes, attempting to save yourself from the pleasure.
Theo leaned close to your ears, a smirk evident on his face. “What’s wrong, bella?”
“You…. Theo….”
“Blaming me for your distractions?” Theo clicked his tongue, “How rude.”
You slapped his arm, slumping over slightly as Theo picked up the pace of his fingers. Theo chuckled darkly; his eyes trained on your face as it contorted into one of pleasure. “Getting fingered in the library, where anyone could round that corner and see you. Such a fucking slut.”
You felt yourself clench around his fingers due to his words. The adrenaline from the thought of being caught rushed through your body. “Fuck. Please.” You let out a breathy plea, your eyes looking over to the corner that could expose this whole ordeal.
“Please what, amore? Use your words.” Theo whispered into your ear. Your breathing became shallow as you felt a familiar knotting in your stomach. Theo did relent in his pace, smirking as he saw you close your eyes. “About to cum? Go ahead, be a good girl, and come all over my fingers, sunshine.”
A low moan fell from your lips as your climax came in a harsh wave. You fell limp against Theo, who was chuckling lowly. You rolled your eyes, getting ready to scold him. “I can’t believe you- Theo? What are you-?”
You felt your body get picked up and leaned over the wooden table. Theo stood up, taking his place behind you. “What are you talking about, darling?” Theo said, pushing your skirt up to your waist and bending down to be face to face with your cunt.
“We’re in the library! We can’t-” Your words were once again cut off by Theo as his tongue lapped at your clit.
“But you’re dripping, principessa. I can’t just leave my girl soaked like this, now, can I?” Theo smirked against your cunt, lapping at it again. You bit your lip, pressing your face against the hard wooden table. Theo stood up, undoing his belt and zipper as he left a harsh slap on your ass.
“Do you want my cock, baby? Tell me.” Theo stroked himself, pushing your legs apart with his knee. You let out a deep breath, laying your body flat against the table and turning your head to glance back at him. “Yes…... I want it.” You said softly. Theo smirked at you, lining himself up with your entrance, pushing in.
“Fuck, amore, so wet and ready for me,” Theo muttered. You whimpered, your eyes falling close at the feeling of being filled up by your boyfriend. He never fails to stretch you out beyond belief. Theo pulled out slowly, leaving just the tip in before snapping his hips forward, setting a harsh pace.
“Such a fucking slut. Getting railed in the library where someone could see you.” Theo snarled, his hands gripping your hips tightly. You clenched around him again, moans ripping from your throat. “Oh, you like that, huh? You like the idea of someone possibly seeing how much of a whore you are for me?” Theo smirked, reaching around to rub on your clit.
“Y-yes, yes, I like it.” You mewled, your nails digging into the table. Your eyes focused on the open corner, your heart speeding up every time a shadow floated past it. The last thing you wanted was for anyone to catch you in this position, but you couldn’t find it in you to stop Theo or even conceal the noises that he was causing you to make.
Between watching how he disappeared into your greedy cunt and how your ass bounced back every time his hips contacted yours, Theo groaned softly. “S’good…. fuck.” You whimpered.
Theo lifted your leg to be prompted up on the table, knocking the books off the table in the process. With a firm grip on around your thigh, Theo pound into your aching cunt. You gripped the edge of the table, your climax coming fast. “M’boutta….m’boutta cum…” You said, your voice muffled from burying your head to the table.
“Hm? My principessa is about to cum?” Theo spoke, “Cum around my dick, I want to feel you soak me.”
It didn’t take long for you to cum once again, your juice covering Theo’s dick and thighs. He continued to pound into you until his thrusts got sloppy. “Going to cover this pretty ass all in my seed.” He muttered, more to himself than to you. He gave you one last deep thrust before pulling out and spilling his cum all over your ass.
You took deep breaths, your body still bent over the table, as Theo massaged your waist, a chuckle erupting from his throat.
“I didn’t know you were so kinky, bella. Good thing I casted that invisibility charm before you got here.”
Your eyes flew open in disbelief as you turned your head to look at him. That same shit-eating grin on his face from earlier.
Your boyfriend was going to be the death of you.
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patscorner · 2 months
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ARE YOU OKAY?
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Summary: Y/n has too much drink at a party
Tw: drinking, vomit, swearing, partying, suggestive jokes, kissing
______________________________
It started with one shot, which turned into two, which turned into three, and then you starting losing count.
You were at your coworkers' birthday party, and after this past week, you thought you deserved a break.
Monday was the start to all of your problems. Your dog threw up blood, and you rushed him to the vet. After waiting in the lobby for 4 hours, hoping that he's okay, the vets told you they couldn't find anything wrong.
So they gave him medicine and sent him back home. By then, you were late to work and was dealt a huge amount of overtime.
The rest of the week wasn't any better. You had got into an agruement with both Matt and your father, and then had to take your dog back to the vet when the medicine didn't work.
So, to say you were stressed would be an understatement.
That's why you went to the party in the first place. You ignored Matt, who told you that you shouldn't drink in your state of mind, and you knew he was right. You just didn't care. You didn't want to feel the stress anymore, and what better way to do that than to get blackout drunk.
So there you were, on your 7th shot of tequila, dancing as you let the alcohol take over. Your hips moved to the music and you danced on the floor shoulder to shoulder to strangers you've never seen before.
"Y/n!" You turned to see your coworker waving you over, and you drunkenly stumbled towards him, pushing past the other bodies on the floor.
"Hey, what's up?" You slurred over the music.
He rolled his eyes. "I called your boyfriend. He's on his way to get you." He yelled over the loud chatter.
You smiled drunkenly. "Yayyyy! Wheeere's he at?" You said, clearly incoherent.
Your coworker sighed. "Jesus, Y/n, how much have you drank?" All you did was shake your head.
"I dunno." You said, stumbling backward a little.
"Woah, woah, okay, how about we sit you down?" Your coworker speaks, dragging you outside and sitting you down on the curb.
"We'll wait here for Matt." He said as he sat next to you. Your eyes were closed, and your body swayed as the refreshing wind blew through your hair.
"Matt's coming?" You asked, not moving an inch. Your coworker chuckled. "Yeah, that's him right there." He pointed out.
Your eyes opened wide, and tears filling them as you saw the van pull up and Matt hop out, keys in hand.
Matt runs over to you and immediately holds your hands. "Love, are you okay? Why are you crying?" He said, voice laced with concern.
All you do is hum as you bring him into a warm embrace. The alcohol stings his nose as he looks at your coworker for help. Her coworker looks at him amusedly.
"She's so drunk, I'm surprised she's able to talk."
Matt rolled his eyes. "Thanks for calling me. How much has she had to drink?" He asked, still clinging onto you.
You pull away before your coworker can say anything. "I- I am not drunk. I've only have had 4 shots. That'sss what the bartender said when I asked." You slurred, blinking slowly.
Matt looked at your coworker. "That was 2 hours ago. She's had double that." He shrugged.
"Jesus fuc- Why didn't you stop her?" Matt said wide-eyed as he put his hand in the small of your back to keep you up, as you swayyed in his arms.
Your coworker shrugged again. "She's grown, I thought she could handle herself." Matt sighed. "She is, and she should." He glanced at you, who was staring at the fire hydrant next to you, entranced.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let her get plastered." Your coworker apologizes, feeling guilty for not preventing you from getting here.
Matt sighed again. "It's okay, it's not your fault. I should get her back, though. Thanks again for calling me." He said, standing up.
Your coworker nods. "No problem, drive safe." He said before walking inside.
"Come on, my love, let's go." He said, picking you up, holding you steady as you stand.
"Wheeere are we goin'?" You slurred, stumbling on your feet.
"Home."
"But, whyyyyyy?" You whined, reluctantly letting Matt drag you to the car. "We just got here."
He shook his head as he helped you into the car. "It's 4am, sweetheart. You did not just get here." He laughs before closing the door and walking to the other side.
You look at him as he climbs in, buckles up, and backs out. "You okay, baby? Do you need anything?" Matt speaks, glancing at you as he drives, his hand resting on your thigh.
You hum, unable to speak anymore. The alcohol somehow diminished your love for speaking, and even though you were plastered, you couldn't bring yourself to talk.
"Are you with me, baby?" Matt speaks again, rubbing your leg gently.
You look at him, pupils dilated. "'M gonna throw up..." You say softly.
Matt's eyes shoot to yours, watching your face pale. "Wha- okay, okay. Let me pull over, hold on."
Matt swiftly and kind of illegally pulls over onto the shoulder, but it's okay. There was nobody on the road. It's 4am, who would be out?
You fight with the door but eventually stumble onto the grass, falling to your knees as vomit spews out of your mouth.
You feel a hand on your back, and your hair gets pulled out of your face. Matt whispers quiet, comforting words as sobs fall out of your mouth. Not because you're sad or in pain, you're just drunk and overworked.
"Shhh, I know, I know. It's okay." Matt spoke softly as you breathed heavily. You wipe your mouth with the back of your hand before collapsing unexpectedly into Matt's arms.
"Fuck, baby, are you okay?" Matt said, his voice laced with concern. You nod against his body, ignoring the wet grass on your legs.
Matt rubbed circles onto your back. "Let's go home, love." He whispered. You hum, but don't move.
Matt sighed before lifting you up and carrying you back to the car. You're not sleeping, but you're not awake either. You're just drunk.
Matt puts you back in the car, buckling up as your eyes struggle to stay open. You whine as Matt places a kiss on your cheek, wanting more.
Matt chuckles. "Sorry, love. I want to get us home." He said, closing your door and walking to get in the driver seat.
The rest of the car ride went by smoothly and uninterrupted. You didn't throw up again, and you didn't really speak either.
Matt kept glancing at you nervously the whole time, silently wishing you'd speak. That way, he knew you were okay. For his own sake, he kept his hand on your thigh the whole time.
You open your eyes when you feel the car be put in park. You look around, but your so drunk, you have no idea where you are.
You whine in your seat, wiggling uncomfortably. "Matttttt... Wanna lay down." You slurred out.
Matt sighed as he got you both out of car, holding your waist as he guided you to the door. You stumble over your feet, but Matt's determined to get you inside as quick as possible.
You feel butterflies in your stomach as you become aware of Matt's hand on your waist. You look down at his hand, then at him, then his hand, then back to him again.
"Youuuu want to fuck me, don you?" You say, voice shaking. Matt freezes as you reach the front door.
His eyes widened as he looked at you. "Wha-, no, honey. I don't. I just want to get you to bed." He said, shaking his head aa he unlocked the front door.
"You don't love me?!" You say, louder than you mean too, but right now, you're very emotional. Tears fall down your face as Matt shushes you.
"Shhh! Honey, of course I love you. I just don't think now is the right time for... that. You gotta be quiet. We don't want to wake Nick and Chris." He said, quickly helping you up the stairs.
Speeding up was a mistake as you stumbled up the stairs and leaned on Matt and grip the banister for dear life.
"Oh dear god." Matt muttered as he lifted you up. You were getting frustrated as well, angry that you couldn't even walk by yourself. "Fuck." You whisper as tears fall.
After the fight to get to Matt's room, you finally make it.
Matt sits you on the bed, sighing deeply as your eyes stay closed. "You wanna take off your clothes, baby, or do you not care?" His back is to you, setting his keys on his desk. He doesn't even notice your tears.
You sniffle, wiping your face quickly. "I-i don't care." You say your voice comes out smaller than you intend, making Matt turn around urgently.
"What's the matter, sweetheart? Why are you crying?" He says, crouching down, cupping your face as he wipes your tears.
"I'm just so stressed. My dog is sick, and you're mad at me and my dad hates me, and, and people at work keep getting on my nerves, and I'm so done and and I'm so fucking drunk and I don't even want to be." You ramble out in one breath.
"Hey, hey, breathe. It's okay. I'm not upset with you. I was earlier, but I'm not anymore." Matt says, looking in your eyes. "And your dad doesn't hate you. He was just upset, and I'm certain he's not anymore. As for your dog and work, I can only help by being there for you. You don't have to be drunk to cope, honey." He said, sealing his words with a kiss.
"Thank you, Matt." You say as he pulls you into another kiss.
You kiss him back, but he reluctantly stops it before it goes farther. "You're drunk. Let's get you to sleep, yeah?" He said, patting your thighs.
You nod as you crawl into the bed, pulling the blanket over your shoulders. "I love you, Matt."
"I love you, too." Matt says as he crawled next you, pulling you onto his now shirtless chest.
You knew the hangover was gonna be a bitch in the morning.
______________________________
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cherriesformatt · 3 months
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a day || matt sturniolo
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matt x fem!reader
summary: what would a typical day as Matt's girlfriend would look like
warnings: pure fluff
word count: 1,6k
a/n: idk let me know how I did English is not my first language but I am working on it
🍒
I was on my way from a long, Friday, morning meeting and all I was thinking about was going back to bed and never leaving it again. My week started with my car breaking down out of nowhere, then I got my period (which is not as bad when you think about it because it would be worse if I didn't get it), and then I had an actual meeting, in an actual office, with actual people (I usually work from home in my pajamas). 
I had to drive my boyfriend's car to the meeting downtown. I am glad that I could, but let me tell you one thing, my boyfriend's car is giant and to park this lady downtown I needed to leave 30 minutes early. 
chris 🦋:
waiting for u outside thx for picking me up kid ❤️
"oh fuck" I said to myself as I quickly did a U-turn before it was too late. Was it safe? No. Did everyone survive? Yes.
I totally forgot that I was supposed to pick up Chris from his own meeting since Matt couldn't because I had their car. I dialed Chrise's number.
"hi, ur okay?" he asked. 
"yes, I just might or might not forgot to pick you up so I'll be there in 15 okay? I'm sorry I had a rough morning..." 
"Bro no worries I'll pick up some coffee while I wait and you drive safe okay?" I smiled because wasn't he the best? He doesn't even drink coffee. 
"Okay I'll see you there"
I ended the call and typed Chris's location. It wasn't that bad with the traffic so I was there in less than 15 minutes. 
I was able to park where he was waiting so he got into the passenger seat and smiled at me while I started driving again. I really want to be home. 
"I would say good morning but I'll keep that to myself. Got you an americano and banana bread" He put my coffee in the cup holder and threw his backpack on the back seat. 
"Thank you, that's really sweet, I am literally half dead so that will help" I laughed and took a sip of my coffee. 
"I still think that my brother is dating a weirdo, how can you even drink it black and unsweetened?" Chris looks at me with a disgusted face. 
"You are all literally bunch of weirdos so I just matched the energy you know" I blinked at him and stopped on the red. 
"How was your meeting? New fresh love is gonna be fire. I got the drafts in my mail this morning. Did not change a thing. You and the team did great" I said and smiled at him. 
I was a graphic designer and helped Chris at the beginning of his brand, but I did not really want to work for him so I just help sometimes if it's needed. I am really happy that he still likes to know what I think about the projects tho. I also used to work for Laura but not anymore. That's basically how we all met. I quit after me and Matt started to be a thing. 
"I know right? Well, I knew you will love it. The meeting was great, we should be able to make everything work by the end of the month. And guess what... I actually got samples and I have a pink set for you kid" 
"Honestly... made my day, I am going to wear it for everything now" I laughed.
"Just don't post it yet" He said and started to click things on the car's screen.
"Just use my phone for music" I gave him my phone and he typed my code and put our favorite song by lil skies on. 
"Still can't believe I memorized Niall Horan's birthday just to get to your phone" 
I blinked at him and started rapping with the song. I loved make a toast. Music taste is probably one of the things that made my and Chris's bond strong. Don't get me wrong I love Nick as much as I do Chris, but he just always gets me and we were best friends since day one. The funny thing is that me and Matt did not really liked each other at first. 
The ride home made my mood better. We sang and laugh, I wasn't tired of my life that much anymore. I took my shoes off while holding all of my stuff. Matt was on the couch watching something while we made our way up the stairs. 
"Hi baby... How was it?" He asked as soon as he saw me.
"Crap, I am going to call Laura to take me back" I laughed and put my stuff on the table and went to wash my hands in the kitchen sink. I then walked up to Matt and just threw myself next to him to cuddle his side. 
He kissed my forehead and started to rub my back. 
"I am going to take a nice nap, you kids have fun but not too much" Chris waved at us and went back down the stairs to his room. 
Matt rolled his eyes and kissed my head again. 
"How about we do something nice together? Nick is going to come home with Madi soon, I think, and that means laud. We could go to that beach you like and just get food and watch the sunset later" He asked.
All I was thinking about was his cold hand on my back and how much I just loved that man. He knew exactly what I needed.
"Yes, please. I just need to change. I wore a bra man, can you believe this?" I sit back up. 
He laughed at me and shook his head. 
"Go then," He said patting my thigh. 
I went to put my new fresh love set in Matt's bedroom, used the bathroom and when I was ready we went out.
"Wow, so it's your car now, huh?" Matt started to change the mirrors and seat but he also raised his eyebrows looking at my stuff next to the shift gear. 
"Baby it's only essentials to drive, okay?" I smiled and got comfortable in the passenger seat. 
We drove to get food and dessert. The weather was perfect to just spend an entire afternoon on the beach. Boys did not have any work plans today so I knew Matt was all mine for the rest of the day.
We sat on the beach, had our food, and just talked or cuddled in comfortable silence. That's what I mostly love about spending time with Matt. We could just sit the whole day without a word and be alright with it, but also we could talk for hours and we would always have something to talk about.
"I love you Matty, thanks for taking me to the beach. This new project sucks but I know it's going to be better after that. I really needed just you today" 
I kissed his sweet lips. He tasted like the cherry Pepsi that we just had. He pulled me into his lap and slid his hands under my hoodie while he kissed me back. 
I rested my forehead on his as I pulled away and smiled. 
"Anything for my girl, I love you kid" He kissed my nose and I just wrapped myself around his body.
"I am not moving, you might as well carry me to your car like this" I said into his neck. 
He laughed at that and hugged me back.
"Or we can just stay here" He lay back down on the blanket. 
"I promised your brother that we are going to watch Criminal Minds with him tho" I said.
"Sometimes I just wish you and Chris weren't the same person y/n..." He joked and looked at his phone, holding it above my head.
"Let's go back after sunset in that case baby"
We did watch the sunset, my favorite part of the day. We came back home and spent time with his brothers as I had promised Chris. 
"Spend the night?" Matt whispered in my ear while the last episode for tonight ended. 
I smiled and nodded. I was off tomorrow and did not want him to drive me home that late anyway.
We said goodnight and went to his room. 
"I will go take a shower" I said and opened his drawer to take a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. 
"Go ahead, I went shopping while you were gone. I did restock your basket under the sink. I hope I did it right" He scratched his neck looking at me.
I had my stuff here, but I usually did the restock. Especially my period stuff under the sink.
"Matt...you did not have to do that, thank you, baby" I said pouting my lips.
"I wanted to, I want you to feel comfortable here. Not only you tho, all our girlfriends that come to our house. It's great that you did the basket and stuff" He smiled and I kissed his cheek.
"You are too sweet Matthew"
I went to the bathroom, when I was done he went to take a shower while I waited in his bed scrolling on TikTok.
When Matt came back from the bathroom I looked at him. He was wearing just his pajama pants. 
"Should I just say what all of the girls in my books would say? Matthew, you are such a tease" I wiggled my eyebrows at him.
"Oh my god, would you stop?" He got into bed laughing at what I said. 
"You love me for that" I put my phone on the nightstand and rested my head on his chest.
"Goodnight Matt" I closed my eyes.
He turned the lights off and tucked us in with the blanket. 
"Goodnight sweet girl" He kissed my head while I was already half asleep after this long day.
The best way to end the day is knowing that I will wake up in his arms the next morning. 
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watermelonsugacry · 10 months
Note
Could you do a blurb showing how Harry and 1dbandmate!yn reacted over the years when asked in interviews if they were a couple?? please 🙏
Always Asked
A/N: been in a writing funk lately but i'm happy i got this one done since i miss writing and posting to you all!! 💚
SUMMARY: Snippets of interviews over the years from when YN and Harry were asked if they were dating. (3.4k)
GENRE: 1dbandmate!yn, famous!yn
SINCE 2010 masterlist
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2011:
Never in a million years did YN ever think her dream career would start so soon. It’s only been a year since she auditioned for the XFactor and now she’s sitting at a table next to her bandmates as hundreds of fans go down the line to get a copy of their freshly signed album. 
With copious amounts of screaming comes along an abundance of questions thrown at the teenagers. Most of the time, it’s YN giving the screaming fans a beautiful smile, asking them how they are, and thanking them for their kind words before passing the signed CD case to Harry. With all the excitement in the air, she feels like she’s truly living the pop star lifestyle she’d seen many others live out.
“Hiya, love,” YN smiles at the preteen girl who’s practically vibrating with excitement at seeing the famous band. She also gives a polite greeting to the supportive dad of the young girl who has his hands on his daughter’s shoulders. “How are you? I love your shirt.”
She compliments, smiling at seeing the young girl wearing a shirt with YN’s face on it. 
“My dad got it for me for my birthday!” The little fan beams.
“Did he?” YN animatedly gasps with a smile. “Well, it was nice of him to take you over here, yeah?”
She signs the CD case with a heart over her name before sliding it over to Harry. His fingers brush over hers and the two of them catch each other’s gaze. A smile tugs on their lips before looking away just as quickly. 
“Are you two dating?” The young girl practically screams out, her eyes bouncing back and forth excitedly between YN and Harry. 
The two teenagers tense up, thrown off by the question in such a crowded place. Their management team is still media-training them and while they’ve learned so much already, they’re still getting used to taking what they’ve learned out into the field.
YN and Harry give each other a look, already knowing the answer but searching in one another’s eyes for maybe a smidge of something more.
“Lilly!” The dad scolds before letting out a chuckle. “Sorry about that.”
“Don’t be,” YN shakes her head with a smile, hoping it's convincing enough to not cause any suspicion. “Sorry Lilly, but Harry and I aren’t dating because quite frankly—” She beckons the little fan closer, cupping her mouth but still being loud so her bandmate can hear, “—he has cooties.”
Harry’s immediately furrowing his brows together and lets out a long and playful, “Hey!”
“Ew!” Lilly laughs, seeming satisfied with that answer before waving goodbye and walking towards the rest of the band.
Before they can dwell on what just happened, thankfully the next fan shuffles over for their own interaction and signed copy.
2012:
The band is at their first Brits Awards show and needless to say, they all got a little tipsy after their win. Their team didn’t even have time to give them a snack or water bottle to help sober them up a little bit before their backstage press interviews.
“Harry, how will you guys be celebrating tonight?” A journalist asks from the crowd.
“Erm,” Harry giggles to himself and it makes YN tipsily follow from her spot next to him. The hand that isn't gripping onto their award goes to cover her smile. “I think we’re just gonna hang out and stuff.”
“YN? Is there any lucky man whom you will be celebrating with?” Another voice in the sea of reporters asks.
“Nope,” YN raises her eyes with a tipsy smile and a slow shake of her head. She shakes her thumb towards her boys with a click of her tongue. “Just these lads.”
“Any lucky lad in particular? Perhaps a curly-headed one standing next to you?”
Almost as if it was planned, the two teenagers comically look beside each other, cranking their necks in playful search of who the intrusive lady was referring to.
“Me?” Harry dramatically questions, pointing to his chest with a bright, open-mouthed, dimpled smile gracing his face.
“Well, I mean he is part of the band, is he not?” YN sassily purses her lips together, her media-training to retain her “good girl” image slipping out of her alcohol induced brain. 
Thankfully, before anything could be escalated further by the tipsy girl, the intrusive press, or the snickering boys, a member from their management team instructs the audience to move onto another person.
2013:
“You guys have known each other for what seems like forever now and your bond with the rest of the guys is so strong...” 
YN reaches forward for a sip from her glass of water on the panel table in her seat in between Harry and Niall. It’s been a long week for the band as they do press for their new movie, This Is Us. They’ve been thrown left and right with interviews that YN can’t help but already be done with the repetitiveness of some of the questions.  
“So then we’re all clearly curious to know if you and Harry are dating?”
“Nope,” YN pops the ‘P’ and shakes her head as if her actions were automatically programmed to respond in that way. She casually waves her finger between the two boys beside her, “But him and Niall are though.” 
The crowd of press people laugh and chuckle as they see Naill gasp and Harry raise his eyebrows in playful shock.
“I mean, you kinda pointed it out,” YN puts on her media-trained smile good enough to win an Oscar. “These lads are like my brothers and our bond is so strong because we see each other more like family than anything else. I see them more as annoying than someone I'd rather date, to be honest,” she forces out a light laugh. 
“Plus, as YN so kindly pointed out,” Harry leans on his elbows on the table as he looks to his crush next to him. YN can see his dimple dig into his cheek as he fights off a smirk. “M’happily in a committed relationship with Niall.”
Harry doesn’t take his eyes off of his bandmate as he leans back into his seat. He watches as she tucks her chin into her chest, her fingers rubbing over her lips to cover her giggle as the rest of the room breaks out in commotion.
2014:
“Can we assume that the rock on your finger is from a certain curly-headed lad?” The woman who’s interviewing them for the band’s new book Who We Are excitedly asks. 
The band are all sat on an L-shaped couch as they discuss the contents of the hard cover book. Sat in between Zayn and Niall, YN purposely avoids her gaze from Harry as she answers.
“No,” YN lets out a forced chuckle as she looks down to fidget with the diamond ring on her finger. Anyone who has looked at more than three pictures of YN can tell that her favorite pieces of jewelry are her assortment of rings along her fingers. But only true fans know that part of her liking to the small jewelry is to help her fidget with them when she has anxiety. It’s an odd feeling however that the newly gifted one has been the cause of her increase in nerves. “It’s um, from me boyfriend—well, fiancé now—Matthew. Harry is like a brother to me so that would be quite weird.” 
“Of course! I was only teasing, love.” The woman laughs with an over-exaggerated smile, clearly disappointed in the answer she was given. “Congratulations to you both.”
“Thank you,” YN forces a smile, still twisting at the shiny ring that sticks out like a sore thumb.
2015:
“YN.”
“James.” She says with the same amount of playful seriousness, the audience in front of them laughs along. As the date of the band’s long-awaited hiatus comes closer and closer, their good friend James Corden interviews them in the same location where they filmed the music video for Story of My Life. 
“Harold,” the host directs his attention to the band member sitting next to her.
The fans in the crowd only giggle in giddiness even further as Harry playfully throws a hand up in confusion with what the fans call his ‘frog’ smile. 
“Now, we are all truly devastated when we heard the news that you and your long-time partner had called it quits a couple of weeks ago.” The audience laughs when James comically shakes his head no. YN even lets out a laugh when she sees the fans in the audience cheer at the news of her new relationship status. Despite the support she feels from the fans, it doesn’t necessarily calm the nerves at why the host brought the topic up in the first place. “Now we’re also all wondering if this may have possibly opened up, I don’t know, an opportunity for you to seek something with another lad?”
“Um,” YN lazily holds her microphone to her lips as she gives James the news that will hopefully shut down the conversation. “I think m’gonna just focus on myself for a bit. Yeh know, take a break from dating and all that.”
The room breaks out into chuckles when the host makes noises like he doesn’t believe her. He wags his interview cards in the air as he says, "I mean, both of your writing credits on some love songs tell me otherwise..."
Truthfully, the two friends can't deny that logic. They've either individually or co-wrote a plethora of love songs...that may or may not have been about each other. But will they ever admit that to a room full of their fans who have been shipping them since their XFactor days? Hello no.
“Well, the beauty that YN and I see in music is that songs are always up for interpretation," Harry interjects. "They can mean anything you want them to be, in any sort of scenario.”
“Yeah, like, lyrics don’t always necessarily have to come from a place of experience,” YN adds on, professionally keeping her voice from wavering in nervousness. “It certainly helps but that’s not always the case. Especially now.”
She can’t help but laugh along with the rest of the crowd as James holds an expression like he doesn’t believe a word they said.
“Okay, fine. Deny it all you want,” James puts his hands up defensively. “I just...I don’t know, I just think that this could really be Something Great.”
The room of fans (and die hard ynrry shippers) squeal and scream out in a mixture of excitement and disbelief from his use of the One Direction songs that are heavily speculated to be about YN and Harry. 
“Whatever, it’s your guy’s decision at the End of the Day,” James continues nonchalantly, trying to hide the smile that shows that he knows exactly what he’s doing. 
Fans’ eyes bounce back and forth between the two band members in question. They see as YN has her hands clasped together on her crossed legs, biting the inside of her cheek to keep her witty comments to herself. Harry, on the other hand, leans his elbow on his knee with his index finger over his smirk. He tries to cover up his chuckle with a cough to his fist before pushing back his long curls. 
“All we want is for you guys to live Happily ever after, is all.”
2017:
“Now, both of you little sneaky sneaks went to Jamaica together to make his album. Come on, tell me I’m wrong,” Nick Grimshaw teases, wiggling his fingers in a beckoning motion.
The two were currently on BBC Radio with their good friend that they’ve known since their days in the band. Dropping their first solo albums in the same week caused their fan bases to go into a frantic frenzy. The two have a full day ahead of them as their record labels and management teams paired the two up for a day jam-packed with press and interviews together.
“You are not wrong,” Harry laughs, adjusting the chunky headphones over his ears. He’s already rolled up his white button-up sleeves and discarded his picnic table-looking blazer to lay on the back of his chair.
“Sneaky sneaks?” YN chuckles next to him, leaning her elbows on the counter and moving her hips to rotate her swiveling seat from side to side.
“Well, I only say that because you guys are obviously dating now, right?”
“Do girl and guy best friends always have to be dating?” YN easily swerves the question back to the radio host.
“Well,” Grimmy tilts his head from side to side. “Not necessarily, but wouldn’t that be a good story? For your future kiddos perhaps?”
YN and Harry bark out a laugh.
“Sorry, m’getting ahead of myself. Maybe you lads would want to save that for your wedding day instead.”
“Can I swear on the radio?” YN playfully yet genuinely asks the host which makes Harry giggle.
“But I mean, what are your fans—and quite frankly, the rest of the world—supposed to think when a good majority of the songs on his album are about you, Miss Two Ghosts?” Nick teases with a wiggle of his eyebrow.
YN’s jaw humorously drops, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips as a nervous laugh threatens to escape. The two knew that they would get poked and pried with questions and accusations like this since their trip to Jamaica. There’s no use in trying to deny their close relationship with one another, spending more time with one another than any of their fellow band members since the start of the hiatus. 
Unable to quickly come up with an explanation, being so caught off guard, she turns to the only other person she can trust. 
“Jenny?” YN playfully calls for her manager who’s behind the glass window of the radio studio, leaning forward to look at her despite Harry in the way. 
“Help me, Jeffery,” Harry playfully pleads to his manager as well.
“No, no Jeffery. Jenny, get back in your chair, young lady.” Nick points out for the listeners who can’t see what’s currently happening. “Alright, I’ll stop, I’ll stop,” The host waves his hands, seeing the two visually calm down at the news. “Now, I’ll just play the one Harry wrote about YN. This is Two Ghosts!”
Harry playfully yells out an “Oh, no!” as he pushes himself away from the desk. YN lets out a humored scream at the same time, taking off her chunky radio headphones and tossing them onto the desk. 
2020:
“Okay, a big question that I’ve been getting on Twitter since it was announced that the two of you would be on here today,” Roman Kemp waves a hand in front of him at the Capital FM Breakfast Radio headquarters as he looks onto the two pop stars in front of him on the Zoom call. The couple can be seen in two separate rooms: Harry in a naturally lit room while YN sits against one of the brick walls in her bedroom.
Harry has his purple robe on that his girlfriend gifted him a couple of years ago, looking as comfy as ever since he doesn’t have to get dressed up to go outside for anything lately due to being on lockdown. 
YN on the other hand, didn’t want to miss the opportunity to get dolled up. Well, at least from the waist up. She wears one of her silk button-up blouses with her last name embroidered on the left chest, her hair neatly done up in a slick ponytail and her make-up nicely done. When she got complimented on her look, she clumsily lifted her leg up to show off her heart-decorated, fluffy pajama pants.
“And I feel like both of your fan bases combined would come out of quarantine to quite literally murder me if I don’t ask you guys this...” YN and Harry keep a mutual face on as they wait to hear what the host has to say. “We all know that you guys are an official couple now, but are you guys physically staying together at the moment? Like, are you guys living together or at the same house or...?”
The couple takes a second to process the intimate question. As Harry parts his lips to answer, he’s interrupted by his girlfriend speaking first. 
“Y’know, we’re kind of tired of getting questions like this. I don’t think it’s really appropriate for other people to know about that kind of stuff,” The crease between YN’s eyebrows becomes more apparent and her shoulders move sharply after letting out a deep sigh.
“Oh, I-I’m so sorry if I offended you guys—” The radio host quickly begins to retract.
“M’sorry but I think m’actually gonna log off now. Erm, thank you for having us.” YN curtly nods before the host and Harry’s faces fill the screen, both with wide eyes at the unexpected reaction from the go-happy pop star.
“Wait, did that really just happen?” Roman and the other two interviewers are deers in headlights, his eyes bouncing around the screen to make sure what just took place. 
“I think so,” Harry sighs. “It’s just a sensitive topic for us, y’know. I can’t really blame her for what she did,” He professionally hides his smile as he hears the quick pad of footsteps coming down her spiral staircase.
“I really meant no harm, it’s just—”
“It’s just really hard to keep our private life private, you know?” Harry drags on with a deep sigh. “And it's just really hard for us to have to answer things like this. Like, we don’t really know what you guys expect us to do when...” Harry’s dimples dig into his cheeks, a boyish giggle comes tumbling past his lips when YN peaks her head sideways in front of his laptop camera.
“YN!” Romans scolds with a bright smile, infinitely relieved he didn’t just make enemies with the world’s favorite female pop star. He dramatically throws a hand over his heart.
“Sorry, I’m sorry! It was just too good and Ro, I think you’re the only one that would be able to handle a joke like that.” YN laughs as she slides in close to her comfy-looking boyfriend.
“So I’m assuming this confirms my previous question?” The host asks excitedly.
“Yeah,” Harry smiles fondly at his love, discreetly wrapping an arm around her waist that’s low enough to not be shown on camera. “We’ve been living at YN’s place in LA for a couple of weeks now. And yeah, it’s been fun.”
2022:
In a full black suit, Harry is escorted to the next interviewer on the red carpet for the premiere of My Policeman. After a couple of initial questions, the eager woman asks, “Last thing before you get whisked away, on behalf of the fandom and everyone else on this planet, we just want to send a massive amount of love to you and YN.”
“Thank you very much,” He nods, putting a hand over his heart and trying his hardest to keep the growing smile on his face at bay. 
“And we are all just dying to know,” She takes a quick, excited glance back to the camera. “If you’re going to drop the big question soon?”
Harry can’t help but huff out a laugh, the kind where his dimples dig into his cheeks and the crows feet appear next to his eyes. If they only knew that YN kept the ring he gave her—the ring that signifies their promise to become husband and wife on their anniversary—at home for the sake of privacy and for this very reason. 
“Um,” He looks up in fake contemplation before giving her a cheeky shrug. “I dunno. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?”
“Well, best of luck to you both.”
After being escorted away, the camera doesn’t stop filming Harry as he goes over to stand next to his fiancée on the red carpet. Although the camera can’t pick up what YN says to Emma Corin that makes the actress laugh, her beaming smile turns to Harry when she feels his hand on her back. He can’t hold back from planting a loving peck on her cheek before the two are escorted to their next section on the red carpet. 
2023:
On a show in Cardiff, Harry adjusts a flag on his shoulder as he walks around the catwalk on stage. As he begins to sing Satellite, he makes a stop to sing to a group by the barricade. 
It’s nothing new to YN and Harry’s respective shows when fans bring signs with something on it to get the artists’ attention. Honestly, it’s become one of the parts of the show they look forward to the most.
So when Harry’s eyes move over to a newly raised sign that says ‘shag?’ on it, he breaks out into a smirk. Part of the fun of when fans bring signs is that there’s always a handful that asks these sorts of questions: Are you single? Can I have your number? Are you dating? 
It’s not so much the content written on the signs that makes the interaction so enjoyable; it’s the response that he gives. 
Because all Harry does is break out into that dimpled, love sick smile that YN can’t get enough of and happily points to his wedding band.
.
.
Taglist:
@ashtongivesmebutterflies @cacapeepee
(let me know if you want to be added to the taglist 💚)
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tip-top-cloud-surfer · 5 months
Text
I'll Be Home for Christmas - Bob
Pairing: Bob / Female!Reader
Word Count: 1.4k
This work, all my works, and my entire blog are 18+ Only
Warnings: Some Crying and Slight Angst; No Physical Descriptions of Reader; Reader is a Teacher; Use of "You" but No Y/N
Summary: Bob promised you that he would be home for Christmas.
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Dating a naval aviator wasn’t easy. Bob's schedule was erratic and never usually worked in their favor. He could be in one place one day and a completely different continent the next or out in the middle of the ocean. And it wasn’t easy to communicate with him when he was deployed. Emails and letters were about all you could usually manage. 
For Bob, you would do it all over again to keep him in your life. But that didn’t make the holiday season any easier. 
Bob, along with the other Daggers, had been deployed for the last six months. Somewhere in the Pacific, that was all that you knew. He told you that they would be docking today and so you waited outside the school where you worked, anxiously waiting for his call. The call about whether or not he would be home in time for Christmas or not. 
Fiddling with the necklace that he bought you for your one year anniversary nearly three years ago now, you sucked in a breath when your phone started to ring. The photo of you and Bob on the hike you took on his birthday last year.
“Bobby?” you called softly, answering the call. 
“Hi, honey,” he returned, his voice sounding clearer than it usually did on these types of calls. “How are you?”
“Better now that I’m talking to you,” you replied, smiling bashfully. “What about you?”
“Exhausted.”
“What time is it over there?”
“Pretty late.”
“Well, thanks for staying up to talk to me,” you stated, a bit concerned about Bob. He was uncharacteristically short with his sentences. “How’s Phoenix and the boys?” 
“We’re all good.” 
“Yeah?” 
“Yeah.” 
“Did you get the care package that I sent you?” you asked softly, fiddling with your necklace.
“Oh, yeah, I did, Honey. Thank you for sending it.” 
“Did you send a video over to Leslie? She was putting a movie together for the kids.” 
“Yeah, I did, Honey. She’s got it.” 
“Thank you for doing that. The kids will really appreciate it.” After a moment of silence on the other end of the line, you asked, “Are you okay, Bobby?”
“I’m fine,” Bob replied, his voice cracking a bit. 
“Bobby.”
“Honey, I’m . . . I’m so sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“I'm not sure that I’ll make it home in time for Christmas,” Bob revealed, causing your heart to shatter in your chest. 
“It’s okay, Bobby. It’s not your fault. There’s always other holidays.”
“I’m so sorry, Honey. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”
“Don’t worry about me. Just focus on coming home safely. Whenever that is.”
“I will. I love you so much.”
“I love you too. And I really miss you,” you replied, your voice breaking at the end. 
“I really miss you too. And I’m so sorry, Honey.”
“Stop apologizing, Bobby. Just come home safe and that’s good enough for me. I love you.”
“I love you too. Bye, Honey.”
“Bye, Bobby.”
Hanging up the phone, you sniffled and wiped your tears away. You let out a steadying breath, trying to calm yourself down, before grabbing your bags and heading inside the elementary school where you worked. 
It was the last day of school before Christmas Break and so, it was your class’s Christmas party. You got to school early to set up, but now you might need to use the time to gather yourself. Opening the cabinet, you smiled sadly at the photos of Bobby that you put up. Hanging up your coat, you wiped your tears away and quickly moved to start setting up. 
~~~~~
Meanwhile, just a few miles away from your school, Bob was holding his head in his hands, looking like he was going to be sick. The other Daggers were gathered around him, all having returned home just a short while earlier. 
“He’s this beat up about it?” Hangman sighed, leaning on the car. “All he did was a little lie.”
“It’s a wonder that you’re still single,” Phoenix replied dryly, shooting him a look. 
“I made her cry,” Bob whispered out quietly as Fanboy patted his back. 
“She’ll get through it, Bob. And you only had to lie to her for a couple hours,” Fanboy reasoned, motioning for the other Daggers to speak up. 
“She’ll forget all about it once she sees you,” Phoenix replied, looping her arm under Bob’s and pulling him to his feet. “Now,  come on, we’ve got some shit to do before the big reveal.”
~~~~~
“One, two, three, eyes on me!” you called, clapping on the numbers and then pointing at yourself. When you saw that all of the kids were looking at you, you added, “Alright, do you guys remember when we made those care boxes? For the service men and women?” 
Various kids shouted out that they did remember, causing you to nod and smile. Since you worked in a Navy town, many of the kids in your class had parents or other family members in the Navy. The care packages had been a personal project that you decided to bring to your class, since you knew that a lot of the kids would be in a similar position as you—wishing that someone that they loved so much came home for Christmas. 
“Alright, well, Ms. Sullivan put together a video of them opening the boxes that we put together. So, if everyone could sit in their seats quietly, we’ll start the movie.”
You dimmed the lights before the video started up and slowly sat in your seat, waiting for Bob’s video to pop up. Kids in your class would yell out when they saw their family member, which made your heart both swell and break at the same time. The video continued on until Bob’s familiar face appeared on the screen. 
“Hi, everyone,” he called, waving to your class. 
“It’s Mr. Bob!” one of your kiddos yelled out. 
“Yeah, it’s Mr. Bob,” you mumbled sadly before you paused, frowning slightly as you examined the video more closely. “Is that the cafeteria?”
“What?” Ms. Sullivan asked, trying to hide her smile. 
“That’s the cafeteria,” you stated, getting to your feet. 
Walking up to the screen, you scrutinized the image of your boyfriend as he pulled out the items from the box, including ones that you definitely didn’t put there. Confused, you turned to Ms. Sullivan when the door opened and the lights turned back on. 
Looking at the door, you spotted Bob standing there in his flight suit, beaming at you with such a loving smile that your knees wobbled. Choking out a sob, you sprinted over to your boyfriend, causing your kiddos to scream and cheer. You wrapped your arms around him, sobbing tears of joy as he pulled you to his chest. 
“It’s Mr. Bob!”
“He came from the video!”
“What are you doing here?” you cried, fisting the back of his flight suit. “I thought that you couldn’t come home.”
“I’m sorry, Honey, but I lied. Can you forgive me?” Bob asked, rocking you back and forth. 
“Of course, I forgive you,” you choked out as Bob wiped your tears away. You snuck a chaste kiss before straightening up. “I love you so much, Bobby.”
“I love you too, Honey. And I’m really relieved that you forgave me because otherwise this would be really awkward.”
“What are you . . .”
You held a hand to your mouth as Bob slowly got down onto one knee, pulling a small velvet box from his pocket, causing your kiddos screams to reach new heights. Bob opened the box and you swore you almost fell to your knees. He looked at you with those big blueberry blue eyes, which were filled with so much love and devotion.
“Will you marry me, Honey?”
“Say ‘yes’!”
“You have to say ‘yes’!”
“Of course, I’ll marry you, Bobby,” you replied softly.
He stood up and you pulled him in for another chaste kiss that promised more when there weren’t thirty-five six-year-olds staring at you. He slid the ring onto your finger, where it would stay forever. Turning to your kiddos, you laughed and tried to wipe your tears away as they raced towards you guys. Bob squatted down again, accepting high fives and a few hugs, which only made you fall more in love with him. 
As if that was even possible. 
School was released shortly afterwards and after cleaning up the Christmas decorations and Bob hauling stuff out, the two of you walked out to your car. The Daggers told you that everyone would celebrate your engagement tomorrow, but tonight, it was just you and Bobby. 
“I told you that I’d be home for Christmas,” Bob replied, opening your door for you. 
“You did,” you agreed, pressing a less appropriate kiss to his lips. “And I think that the only time you’ve ever successfully lied to me.”
“And the last,” Bob promised, pressing another kiss to your lips. “Merry Christmas, Honey.”
“Merry Christmas, Bobby.”
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sluttywonwoo · 1 year
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no nut november — i.n (loser #2)
pairing: yang jeongin x fem!reader
warnings: swearing, smut (18+), dry humping, messing around with clothes on
a/n: part of @gimmeurtmi and i's collab <3
word count: 2.9k
To say you were suspicious when Minho approached you at the surprise birthday party Jisung threw for him (over a week late) would be an understatement. He was one of the friends who would only come to you when he needed something, and you assumed this time was no different. 
“Happy birthday?” you offer, wondering if that’s what he was expecting. 
He’s unfazed by your greeting in the form of a question and just smiles, slipping his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 
“Thanks.”
You stare at him for a moment, waiting for him to get to whatever it was he wanted from you but he stares right back with that stupid grin of his.
“So, um, were you surprised?” 
“Not really. Hannie talks in his sleep and he crashed while we were watching a movie together the other night. But hey, anyway, you like Jeongin, right?”
You’d have whiplash by now if you weren’t so used to Minho’s abrupt subject changes. This one, however, did manage to catch you a bit off guard. 
“Of course I do. He’s a good friend.”
“But you like him as more than a friend.” He wasn’t asking, he was stating. 
You blink, stunned. “Wh- I don’t-”
“Come on, don’t play dumb. I can see the way you look at him when you think no one’s paying attention.”
Well fuck. If Minho of all people had noticed your crush on Jeongin, who else knew? Did Jeongin know? Did everybody know?
“Relax, I'm not going to tell him,” he continues when he sees the look on your face. That wasn’t necessarily what you were worried about but good to know nonetheless. He sneaks a look at the younger member from across the room as he talks. “I just thought that you should know that he likes you too.”
“What? How do you know that?”
“You know I’m like one of his best friends, right?
“I-I mean, yeah, but...”
“And we live together, he literally never shuts up about you,” Minho adds. He raises his eyebrows expectantly but you don’t say anything. You don’t know what to say. “You don’t believe me?”
“No, it’s not that I don’t believe you… it’s just, why are you telling me?”
Minho shrugs. “Think of it as a favor.” 
“Since when have you done anyone a favor?”
“Ouch.”
“I’m serious,” you insist warily. “You’re acting weird. Why are you suddenly so invested in me and Jeongin? You have to have some kind of stake in this.”
Minho sighs and drops his head, which confirms your suspicions. “Okay, fine. Here’s the deal...”
Jeongin’s pleasantly surprised when you approach him at Minho’s birthday party. You’re one of his good friends but it’s rare that the two of you ever spend time alone together. It’s not that he doesn’t want to, he just gets so nervous around you. He can barely get a word out when you’re in the room, which is why when he sees you making your way across the room he prays for strength and holds his breath. 
“Hey,” you say casually, sliding into the seat next to him, and Jeongin feels his heart rate pick up almost immediately. “Bored already?”
Jeongin chuckles. “What gave it away?”
“Well, you’re sitting over here all by yourself. It wasn’t very hard to guess.”
“Yeah, I guess I should mingle more,” he sighs and puts his hands on his knees to push himself up.
“Wait, but not now! I just got here.”
Jeongin’s half-relieved he doesn’t have to move from his spot, half-panicked because now he’s forced to have this one on one conversation with you. He started sweating the minute you walked in the door how the fuck was he supposed to get through this in one piece. 
“Oh, right, sorry.”
“Did you get Minho a birthday present?” you ask, thankfully skirting right past Jeongin trying to ditch you. 
He nods. “I did.”
“What’d you get him?”
“It’s a secret.”
“You didn’t get him anything, did you?”
“Would you believe me if I said it was in the mail?”
“No.”
“I forgot,” Jeongin admits sheepishly. “I always get the guys birthday gifts after the fact. I’m terrible at that stuff.”
“You can just add your name to mine, if you want,” you offer. “People group us together all the time anyway.”
“Wha- they do?” 
“Yeah, you know like whenever I show up at the dorms the boys are always like ‘Jeongin’s in his room’, ‘Jeongin will be right out’. ‘Jeongin isn’t here right now, I thought he’d be with you’. Do they not say that stuff to you?”
“Uh, no. Not really.” 
Probably because they all know about his giant fucking crush on you. 
“Oh.” 
You sound disappointed. Fuck. How does he always manage to put his foot in his mouth? 
“I mean, because they just tease me right in front of you anyway.”
“They just like giving you a hard time,” you reason. 
“So you’re on their side now?”
You crook an eyebrow. “I didn’t realize there were sides.”
“There are.”
“Then I’m on your side, obviously.”
“Really?” 
“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Cause you’re friends with all of us, not just me.”
“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”
Jeongin isn’t sure if he totally believes you but he’s elated regardless. He beams at you. 
“You’re my favorite too.”
-
He doesn’t know why, but after Minho’s birthday party, things between him and you feel different. The next time he sees you is on that Saturday, the fifth. You come over for game night like you do every weekend, and you take your spot next to Jeongin as usual. Everything seems normal. But it isn’t. Jeongin can feel it in the stiffness of your posture, in the nervous tapping of your foot against the hardwood floor. 
The night progresses as smoothly as any other game night, with Jeongin losing every single one, but he can’t shake the feeling that something’s off. 
You’re not mad at him, he knows that. You still laugh at his dumb jokes, you still let him cheat off of you, both good signs. 
When Felix calls for a break, Jeongin takes the opportunity to lean over and check in. 
“Are you okay?” he asks. 
You jump in your seat a little like you hadn’t been expecting him to address you, which was fair because he was usually too much of a coward to, and turn to face him. “Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine.”
“Just fine?”
“Yup. Just fine.”
“Not good?”
“Neither good, nor bad,” you say with a shrug. 
“Why? Is something wrong?”
You open your mouth to answer but Felix’s voice from the kitchen cuts you off as he calls out to suggest that the group of you watch a movie instead of finishing the game of Uno you were currently playing.
“You never want to watch movies,” Hyunjin says, scrunching his face in confusion. 
“Yeah, you’re only suggesting that because you’re losing!” Seungmin adds.
Felix comes into the room, hands on his hips, and lips pursed. “Do you want to watch How to Train Your Dragon or not?”
-
Seven and a half minutes later, you’re all on the couch watching Hiccup struggle with his daddy issues. Jeongin didn’t have much say in the matter but you had seemed eager to watch the movie so obviously he was… also eager. To watch the movie. 
A lot of the guys’ girlfriends were over so you asked Jeongin to share a blanket with you, seeing as there were only so many to go around. 
He agrees, of course, even though he isn’t cold. If anything, he’s overly warm. He hopes you can’t feel the heat radiating from his body. 
It’s hard to focus on the movie with you so close, not that he was really interested in it in the first place, but then you snuggle close to Jeongin and rest your head on his shoulder and his brain short circuits. You must feel his body tense because you sit back up immediately after, frowning. 
“No, you can lay back down,” Jeongin insists, going as far as craning his neck in the opposite direction to give you more room. 
“I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you mumble. 
“Why would I be uncomfortable?” he asks.
“Because you’re being all weird.”
“I’m not-”
“Hey, you two,” Jisung hisses from the other couch, “could you keep it down? Some of us are trying to watch the movie.”
Jeongin apologizes and you shift away from him, crossing your arms over your chest. He’s really done it now. He tries to remedy the situation by scooting closer but you don’t even look at him. 
From across the room, Jeongin makes eye contact with Minho, who gives him a look as if to say what the fuck are you doing? 
Minho’s been trying to get Jeongin to make a move on you for months now, claiming to be tired of listening to him pine over you from afar, but Jeongin knows his friend really just wants him to be happy, put himself out there and all that. Minho’s been especially insistent ever since the eight of them made that stupid bet. He’s somehow under the impression that if Jeongin tells you how he feels it’ll eliminate him as competition. But for that to happen, you would have to like him back. 
He doubts he’ll win No Nut November anyway, girlfriend or not. Hell, half the reason he acts so strange around you is because he’s using up all of his energy trying not to get hard. All you have to do is smile at him and his dick will twitch in his pants. In fact, he knows tonight after you go home he’ll just lay in bed, hard and aching with thoughts of you as he wills his cock to soften on its own. 
But at least he wouldn’t be the first loser. Jisung made sure of that by losing on the second day of the month. Everyone saw it coming. 
Jeongin’s pulled from his thoughts by the sound of you yawning. 
“Are you tired?” he asks softly, not wanting to get scolded by his members for talking again.
“A little.”
“Do you want to lay down in my room? You could stay the night if you want, I know it’s getting late.”
“That’d be great, Innie, thanks.” You smile sleepily at him and reach for his hand. “Will you come with me? I don’t want to go by myself, I’d feel weird.”
Jeongin nods, brain going on autopilot as he takes your hand and leads you to his bedroom. No one questions where the two of you are going, either too engrossed in the movie to notice, or too uninterested to care. 
You flop down on his bed as soon as the door’s shut behind you. Jeongin chuckles. 
“Make yourself comfortable.”
“I will,” you hum. 
Despite the fact that the two of you don’t spend much time together, it isn’t uncommon for you to end up in Jeongin’s bed. He offers it to you whenever you decide to stay over because he doesn’t want you driving yourself home if you’re tired or if you’ve been drinking. He always takes the couch even though you’ve pointed out that his bed is big enough for the both of you. He doesn’t trust himself not to embarrass himself if he were to entertain the idea. 
“I know you wore jeans tonight so you can borrow something of mine to sleep in if you want.”
“Oh, that’s okay. I can just sleep in my underwear,” you say as you start to unzip your pants. “Unless that bothers you?”
Jeongin’s eyes widen at the sight and he spins on his heel to face the wall and give you privacy. 
“N-no, that’s fine,” he squeaks out. 
“You don’t have to turn away, Jeongin. It’s not like I’m a stranger.”
He ignores you and only turns back around once he hears you slide underneath the covers, knowing that he’d instantly get hard if he did any sooner. 
“I know, I just... uh, let me know if you need anything else,” he says and heads for the door. 
“Wait,” you call after him. “Won’t you stay with me?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” he says slowly. 
You huff in frustration and throw back the covers. “I-I don’t understand. I should have never listened to Minho-”
“Minho? What’s Minho got to do with this?”
You look guilty all of the sudden, and Jeongin’s drops as his brian conjures up every possible scenario that involves you and Minho talking about him. None of them are good. 
“Y/n?” he prompts again. 
“He told me that he knew I had feelings for you and that you had feelings for me too, and then he told me about that idiotic bet you all made and tried to get me in on it, I guess to seduce you or something? But obviously he doesn’t know what he’s talking about because you don’t even like me!”
It’s entirely too much information for Jeongin’s brain to process at once. All he can focus on is that you have feelings for him??? 
“You have feelings for me?” he asks, dumbfounded. 
“Did you listen to anything else I just said?” you huff. 
“Not really.”
“Yes, I’ve had a big fat crush on you for forever now, thanks for noticing.”
“Really?”
“Really. Are you going to make me say it again?”
“I kind of want to,” Jeongin admits, finally feeling brave enough to approach you on his bed. 
“That’s mean.”
“Why? I have a crush on you too, silly.”
You blink in surprise. “What?”
“Minho wasn’t messing with you. He was right.”
“You like me?”
“How could I not?”
“You have a funny way of showing it,” you scoff. 
Jeongin rolls his eyes at you and pouts. “You just make me nervous, okay? I can’t function around a pretty girl.”
“You think I’m pretty?”
He nods and takes your hand. “The prettiest.”
He’s not sure who makes the next move, probably you, but then you’re kissing. Your arms are wrapped around Jeongin’s neck, pulling him down close to you as he slips his tongue into your mouth. Clumsily, he climbs onto the bed with you and slots himself in between your legs, moaning into your mouth a little when his hand brushes against your bare thigh. 
You already sound breathy and desperate for him and it spurs him on further, hips grinding into you instinctively. He’s practically fully hard in his sweats, there’s no way you can’t feel it, but you don’t seem to mind. If anything, it turns you on even more. 
You’re the first to break away, though, pushing on Jeongin’s chest to put more distance between you. “Wait, wait, the bet! Don’t you want to win?”
He doesn’t even need to think about it. “Fuck the bet.”
Jeongin kisses you again, letting his hands travel beneath your shirt and up to your tits. He traces your curves, outlining each one, before moving down to your underwear. It seems that you have a similar train of thought because you reach for the waistband of his pants at the same time, but he stops you with a sheepish grin. 
“This is really embarrassing, but I haven’t jerked off in like a week so I won’t last long.”
You smile against his lips. “It’s okay, Innie. We can just go again if you cum too fast. We have all the time in the world now.”
The assurance is all he needs to relax. You begin to palm him over his sweats and it becomes very apparent to Jeongin that he’s going to cum way faster than he wants to. He whines, actually whines, and bucks his hips into your hand. 
“Shhh, the others are still outside,” you remind him. 
“S-sorry.”
You giggle and pull him in for another kiss as he fumbles for the waistband of your panties, wanting to make you feel good too. He dips his thumb beneath the fabric, lower and lower until you’re moaning and arching your back off the bed. 
“Fuck, yeah, just like that,” you whisper. 
Jeongin keeps his thumb on your clit, rubbing slow circles, while he works the rest of his hand into your underwear. He figures that if he can’t make you cum on his cock, his fingers will have to do. He’s been told that he has nice hands on more than one occasion, and he’s gotten good reviews from partners in the past, so it’s kind of like a failsafe for him. 
“Shit, you’re wet,” Jeongin breathes.
“Do you believe I like you now?”
For some reason, that’s what does it for him. He shudders and falls forward into you as he cums in his pants. 
“Oh god, sorry, sorry,” he groans. 
There’s so much of it too, it seeps through the material of his sweatpants and onto your hand and he’s mortified.
“Don’t be sorry, baby,” you soothe, rubbing his back as he comes down. “You told me it was going to happen, I expected it.”
“But still.”
“It really isn’t a big deal, Innie. If anything, I think it’s hot that I have that effect on you. And you can go again right?”
He nods eagerly. “Yes! Yeah, just give me like, ten minutes.”
You laugh and pet his hair. “Well in that case, I can think of a lot of things we can do in ten minutes, can’t you?”
nnn tags: @doesthismeannothingtoyou @yellowroses-world @allyoops @thelostverse @karlitaburrito @lydataylorsversion @septemberkisses @caticorn61 @multifandomtrash-dree @cixrosie @mchslut @cutiequokka
4K notes · View notes
jjongslutz · 5 months
Note
birthday sex with jay??
it’s my actual 21st birthday today (ahh I’m the same age as jay!!) so i had to add in the spice
so sorry that i couldn't get it out on time for the day of, but still happy late birthday!!
birthday sex with jay.
after being woken up by the smell of breakfast coming from the kitchen, you already knew jay was going a step above expectations for your birthday. though, that's to be expected from him.
you peak your head around the corner to find him humming a quiet tune with his back turned to you, focused on whatever is sizzling on the pan.
trying your best to keep quiet, you tiptoe your way past the kitchen island to surprise him with a back hug.
he jumps a little at the suddeness, but relaxes into your touch. "good morning, angel, i didn't think you'd be up so early."
"i didn't think you'd be up so early," you laugh softly. he's notorious for sleeping in, of course.
jay smiles at your words, but doesn't respond. he focuses on flipping another pancake and you watch him carefully. when the golden side faces upward, he turns to you and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. "happy birthday, love."
"thank you," you say with a smile.
soon enough, breakfast is served. delicious homemade pancakes by your personal chef—err, your kindhearted boyfriend, with a side of fruits and your choice of toppings.
"i took the day off," jay says reaching for the syrup.
you shoot a raised brow at him. "oh really?" you taunt. "why's that?"
he shrugs nonchalantly, but the corners of his lips raising are very telling. "i have other plans than to work in the office today." then, he adds, "it's a special day, isn't it?"
which is why you find yourself, barely just over an hour later, laying in bed with shaky breaths. your legs are spread and your boyfriend is ceremoniously between them, taking his sweet time lapping his tongue over your bare pussy while three fingers glide in and out of it at a relaxing pace.
your hand brushes through his hair gently, not too desperately. soft music fills the room, but you concentrate on the soft hums jay emits as he sucks on your clit.
"jay..." you moan quietly.
he looks up at you. "yes, my love?"
"i think i'm stretched enough, hm?"
he pouts playfully. "but i'm having so much fun down here."
"are you doing this for me or for you?"
"for you, of course. birthday girl deserves the best." he goes down once more for good measure, curling his fingers upward in time with his tongue rolling from bottom to top. "you taste so good, love, i'm sorry."
you giggle at his antics, unable to be upset not only from how good he's making you feel, but how sweet he's being with you.
obviously, he's sweet with you whatever the occasion and whichever the context. but today especially he's taking his time in making it all about you.
still, he listens to your pleas and gets up to his knees to start unbuckling his belt and slowly removing his pants and boxers in one movement. his hardened cock springs out of the material, red and leaking at the tip. you let out a soft giggle at jay's flushed face at his obvious excitement.
"c'mere," you whisper to him.
he crawls up to you, reaching down with one hand to guide his dick into your hole. he's done this so many times, he's able to do it without breaking eye contact. jay steadies himself, making sure not to miss a second of your reaction as you feel his tip pushing into you.
your eyes roll back as you let out a hum of pleasure. "thank you..."
"for what, baby?"
keeping your eyes closed, you hum again. "for everything."
he chuckles, rolling his hips slowly, but deeply into your core. "thank you, too."
the rest of the day is spent similarly. once you both cum the first time, jay stays comfortably between your walls as you both fall asleep into each other's arms ; when you wake up, you're at it again, more sensually, but still filled with love. he doesn't stop there, finding himself back with his head between your thighs and his tongue draped across your soaking pussy.
as the sun sets, the two of you cuddling together in bed with a miscellaneous movie on the tv, jay leaves a gentle kiss against your hair, whispering, "happy birthday, pretty girl"
a/n - suffering through writers block so that ending is sooooo rushed i'm sorry 😭
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reiderwriter · 6 months
Note
hi!!! omg i’ve been following you for a bit now and i saw that it’s not only your 1k celebration(AHHHHHH OMG CONGRATS GIRL!!!) but also your birthday soon!!! So happy birthday and i hope you’re having a fantabulous day!!
If it’s not too much trouble, could i request #4 on your 1k celeb list for Spencer Reid? maybe like imagine they’re undercover in a club or at a party and reader has to dance on him for some odd reason and boy is already mad in love and now he’s got a hard on while his crush dances on him for a case and reader maybe takes mercy on him and drags him to a private place tooooooo😋😋
it’s totally okay if this isn’t to your fancy so don’t feel pressured at all!! i love your writing so much and i just know anything you write, even if you don’t write this ask or if you change it up, will be amazing!!! enjoy your birthday b and take loads of a care of yourself!💕💕
A/N: Thank you for the request, and I AM SO SORRY it took me nearly four months to get to 😭 I actually loved writing this one, so I hope you enjoy reading it! Thank you for the birthday wishes 💖
Warnings: public sex, sex in an alleyway, talks of oral (m receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, dirty talk, creampie, coworkers to lovers, spoilers for upto season 7 of Criminal Minds.
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“Cover? Right now? I'm wading through three caseloads of paperwork right now, I don't have time to go gallivanting across the country for another unit.” You stressed to your Unit Chief as she smiled sympathetically at you.
“Temporary reassignment means your desk will be cleared of work when you return, I'll personally complete it myself. That is if you decide to come back.”
“It would take one hell of an offer to get me to join another team, ma'am, and you know it.” 
Working under your boss Andi Swann at the Domestic Trafficking Task Force was something you took a lot of pride in. The work you did saved hundreds of women across the country, and you found justice for the ones you were too late for. It had been your second choice after you'd left the academy and a particularly ambitious one, all things considered. 
“Y/N, the Behavioural Analysis Unit needs you. Now, I remember your resume as well as you do, most likely, so don't try to convince me all of the profiling credits and courses you took at the academy were solely to be used for trafficking work.” 
You flushed as the woman caught you off guard. It was true that you hoped to someday be able to transfer to the aforementioned unit, but you truly still respected the woman in front of you. 
Deciding that your respect trumped your human need to placate her worries about you suddenly skipping out on her, you simply cleared your throat and spoke as calmly as possible. 
“What is it exactly that the BAU needs me for?” 
The older woman smiled back at you and shook her head slightly before opening her mouth again. 
“It seems that one of their team members needs a date.” 
–X– 
Having recovered from the shock of your reassignment and its details, you'd found yourself packing a few things from your desk, grabbing your go-bag, climbing into the elevator and arriving at the doors of the BAU.
You then struggled for a few minutes to open with all the things crowding your hands. 
“Here let me,” a voice said from behind you, as you suddenly saw an arm come up around your side to push the door open. You followed your gaze up the arm until your back was against the door, moving backwards even as he pushed it open as your throat went dry.
The man in front of you was hot. It was as if some deity had plucked your ideal type out of your mind, moulded him with clay, and kiln fired him before placing him right back in front of you as temptation.
You were sure that minutes had passed since he'd spoken with you just staring up at him like this, but alas, you really couldn't help yourself. 
“Oh! Thank you,” you smiled, hoping it would diffuse the sudden awkward atmosphere that your staring had bought on. “I'm sorry, can you tell me where Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner's office is?” You mumbled out, trying to clear your throat silently as you lost yourself in the strangers' gaze. 
His eyes were locked on yours, and as he broke eye contact, your heart jumped as you noticed his ears were stained red, embarrassment apparently not lost on him. 
“Up the stairs, first office, his name is on the door. You must be SSA Y/N.” Shocked to hear your name drop from his mouth  you felt a Rusholme mortification as you studied the man once again. 
Slightly messy hair, pile of books in his hand, dressed like he'd fallen into a closet at a retirement home, tall wiry frame. 
Ashley Seaver's description of Doctor Spencer Reid had been spot on. Apart from the part where she had failed to mention, he was quite possibly the most attractive man on earth. 
“Doctor Reid?” You asked, voice a squeak, almost scared that you were wrong despite there being no suggestion that you might be.
“How did you…?” His eyes widened with a smile as he looked back to you again, searching for answers with his head cocked slightly to the side.
“I work in Domestic Trafficking. Agent Seaver and my unit chief both gave me brief descriptions of your team so I wouldn't get bogged down with introductions when I got here.” You explained quickly for fear that he'd think you slightly stalkerish for knowing his name, even though he obviously knew yours as well.
He smiled slightly awkwardly again  and gestured further inside the office, sending you off to your temporary new Unit Chief's office with a small whisper.
“I look forward to working with you.”
--X–
The debrief with Aaron Hotchner was swift  and you appreciated the man's ability to cut straight to the point. 
There was a killer targeting women in New York City, just like there were killers targeting women everywhere. But this one had taken specific issue with women who were social climbers, who attended events with high profile and successful men on their arms. 
So far, the NYPD could link 7 homicides to the killer and were under pressure to catch the guy before Lucky Number eight. 
The FBI had stepped in and suggested you be Lucky Number eight.
They'd been sent the case as a consult and provided the profile, to which the NYPD had asked for full cooperation. 
Which is how you found yourself on a jet heading to New York City two hours after Andi Swann had called you into her office. Productive day.
“What does your budget look like after a year of private jet travel?” You wondered out loud as you followed Hotchner onto the plane. SSA David had followed you onto the plane as well, having tried to introduce himself earlier. You'd allowed him the moment of humility before telling him you knew exactly who he was, and he'd be surprised if anyone in the entire bureau didn't. 
“Well they haven't put me on display yet, so I don't think I'm quite a fossil. Pleasure to be working with you.” 
His words were kind enough, but they were a reminder of the other man you'd met earlier. 
The man who had since climbed into the seat next to you, ready for the on the go case briefing.
“We've established identities for the two of you, ready for you to go in tonight to establish yourselves as bait,” Hotch explained, handing you each a personnel folder. 
“Spencer, you'll be Charles Buchanan, local businessman with alleged ties to several socialite families in the Upper East Side.” That seemed to earn a few chuckles from Agent Morgan from his perch at the other end of the plane desk, but he cleverly kept his mouth shut. 
“Y/N, you'll be Daisy Smith, you're a student putting herself through a graduate degree, who has turned to sugaring to cover course fees.” 
“Sugaring?” Rossi asked from Hotch's side, waiting for someone to clarify. 
“It's a term used to describe the act of being a sugar baby or sugar daddy. A usually non-sexual consensual relationship involving cash or other materialistic gifts.” Spencer filled in the gaps easily, without looking up from the file he was scanning ridiculously fast.
Okay, speed-reading and super intelligence check, and you were two for two on descriptions of Spencer Reid. Swann's description had also left a lot to be desired. 
“We've got Garcia establishing some online profiles for the both of you currently using the images you sent us earlier. Hopefully, we were correct in our estimation of his hunting grounds, but he'll need to stalk you for a night or two before he strikes.” 
You cleared your throat carefully as you finally decided to ask the question that had been bugging you the entire time.
“I'm sorry if this is forward, but is there a reason I was chosen for this assignment? I don't have much undercover experience, and I was told there were two women on your team. Was I misinformed?” 
“That's correct. Unfortunately, last week, Agent Prentiss decided to take a job with Interpol in London. Agent Jareau was also recently married, so she put in leave to enjoy her honeymoon. None of the candidates we have lined up fit our Unsub's type. You do.”
“As good as I would look in a dress, you're going to be much more effective at catching this guy,” Morgan joked from the side, just as Hotch accepted a video call through to the jet. 
“Morgan in a dress, sounds like one of my dreams come true.” 
“Calm it, baby girl, what have you got for us?”
“Invitations to a charity ball being held in Manhattan tonight, and around 1000 hits across five sugaring platforms for Miss Y/N. If the FBI turns out to be a letdown, you have a lot of serious offers here, sweetie.” You laughed out loud at how she blasted through and diffused all the tension in your team, without even thinking to introduce herself first. 
“You must be Penelope Garcia. It's nice to meet you.” 
“Not as nice as it is to meet you, I promise.” 
The remainder of the jet ride had been quiet if not restful, the presence of Spencer Reid a disturbingly pretty thorn in your side. 
You'd sneaked glances at him multiple times, not an easy feat on a jet filled with profilers. His fingers had grazed yours as he passed you his file earlier as well, letting you read up on his new character. 
What you found most distracting, though, was the now bare stretch of skin peaking out from his shirt collar. 
He'd decided to take a nap at some point earlier, and now you silently cursed him for it as you looked at the splash of skin distractedly. 
You could press your lips there and work your way up to his lips. Or you could go in the opposite direction and have more fun, you reminded yourself. 
It seemed that image had you waking up, jerking upright so that you would not let that go any further.
This was your job. You were a professional, an FBI agent. 
You weren't allowed to imagine giving this man a blow job on government time. You'd have to save that thought for after the case was closed, and you could go your separate ways, you thought.
Landing was easy  and you moved straight into dress fittings and practising your story for the party later that night. 
Which meant a blissful few hours without the distraction of Spencer Reid. 
Luckily for you, the first dress they'd given you to wear had turned out to be a good fit, showcasing some of your more prominent assets. 
It hugged your body tight, but it wasn't uncomfortable, showing off a generous amount of cleavage and leg as well. It wasn't quite scandalous, but you knew it was definitely the kind of outfit that would stick out like a sore thumb at a socialite dinner. 
Which meant it was perfect for baiting the unsub.
By 7pm, you'd been outfitted, prepped, and deposited in the back of a limousine with Spencer Reid, and you were right back at square one trying not to climb him then and there. 
His outfit choice had been slightly harder, apparently, given his taller frame, but the three piece suit they'd given him was do perfect it was hard to tell it wasn't tailored to his measurements. 
“Are you nervous?” He asked, whispering the words in your ear as he stroked your hand. Although the limousine driver was an undercover NYPD detective, you'd both been told to get into character as quickly as possible. 
There were a series of other undercover agents being placed throughout the party tonight - Hotch was going in as a representative of the District Attorney's office, a few NYPD detectives were serving guests drinks and food, and Rossi had managed to get an invite as himself. 
Morgan was left running surveillance in the van outside. 
Because of your outfit and the nature of the unsubs attacks, there had been no point in trying to put a wire on you at this point in time. It'd take him a week of surveillance to pick you up anyway. Tonight would just be the start of his hunt. 
So you let Spencer stroke your hand, fingers locked in his as you gave him a smile, and tried not to imagine them wrapped around his cock. 
“Just a little. I think it's the dress  shows off a bit more than I'm used to.” He took a second to glance down your body, as if he'd been waiting for your permission until now, and you watched his eyes pause over your chest and at where the hem sat at the top of your thighs, dangerously close to bearing everything.
“You look… beautiful. I think our unsub will like it, at least.” 
You tried to hide your disappointment as he pulled his hand away, ready to open the door as the car pulled up to your destination. 
You surveyed the room as you walked in, trying to memorise every particularly leering smile from men as you made your way to your seat. 
After half an hour, though, it seemed like catching your guy was going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. Or a creep in a room full of creeps. 
It seemed like every man who talked to Spencer only glanced at you to stare down your dress, a few even attempting to pat your back and let their hands drift south.
If it weren't for the sake of the job, you'd have sucker punched some of the richest men in New York City by now. And you'd have enjoyed it. 
Politely detaching himself from conversation, Spencer guided you away to the dance floor for a second. You'd planned it this way for when you needed some time privately to discuss potential suspects. 
A few other couples glided around the floor as you stood chest to chest with Spencer, surprised how confidently he was handling the caseload. 
His hands took their places, one on your hip, the other gripping your own as you both began to sway side to side. 
“Any ideas?” He whispered in your ear as you moved delicately. 
“Your 10 o’clock. Younger son of the Johnson family. He’s been sat glaring at me for 10 minutes despite his mother's attempts to network for him.” 
“It fits the profile, absent father, overbearing mother. He has obvious disdain for you. Is there anyone else?” His words were hot against your skin as you looked up at him, finding your lips surprisingly close as your bodies continued swaying together. 
“Half of the men in this room have undressed me with their eyes, the other half actually tried to put their hands on me when they were talking to you.” He stiffened at that, breaking eye contact as his eyes flashed with sudden emotion. 
His hand slid from your waist further down to stroke your ass slightly as he watched the crowd to see anyone taking offence at his sudden bold display of affection. 
At least that was what you assumed he was doing  as you too began to glance around, watching for anyone watching you, confident that Hotch, Rossi, and the others would do the same. 
When his hand on your ass pulled you closer into him, though, you weren't so sure. 
“Spencer, what are you-” You started in confusion, noticing that his gaze had returned to you. More specifically, that it had returned to your chest, as he stared down at how your breasts looked, pushed up against his chest as they were. 
He encouraged your other hand to wrap around his shoulder, freeing his other hand to land on your ass again as he pulled you closer still. 
You'd almost stopped moving, certain that having his body pressed against yours in every place hardly counted as dancing. You opened your mouth to say as much when you felt something twitch against your thigh. A low groan slipped from Spencer's lips as he adjusted your positions slightly as you felt something hard shift against your leg. 
“Do you seriously have a boner right now?” You whispered, as much in exasperation as in excitement. 
Spencer Reid was grinding his boner into you in front of a room full of people, and you felt like you'd just won the lottery. 
“I'm sorry, natural reaction. You look so hot tonight, and then your hands were all over me.” He rambled slightly in his explanations, mortification clear on his face as he tried to apologise. 
“It's okay.” You whispered in his ear, pulling yourself up on your toes softly to press a chaste kiss to his lips. 
If you just so happened to rub up against him going up and down, eliciting another deep groan for the man, then so be it. 
“Y/N…” He whispered you name like a prayer and it almost convinced you that there was no one else in the room. 
“Spencer, there's no way our unsub is going to approach us if you have that thing tenting your pants.” You kept your voice low as your hands trailed down his chest. Pushing one further, you gently rubbed over his clothed member as if accentuating your point. 
“We need to solve this problem, don't you think?” 
His jaw clenched as he contemplated your words, trying not to let any other sounds out. His nod was barely perceptible, but within seconds you were glancing around the room for a quick exit, and in another minute, you'd slipped through a service entrance  and out through some corridors into a dimly lit alleyway. 
As soon as you were cloaked in darkness, Spencer was on you. 
Whirling you around, he backed you into the wall until your back was pressed into it, and his lips were on yours. 
You moaned helplessly into the kiss, hands finding his chest again and moving south even as he began exploring your body. 
“This is an important case, and we're about to blow it because I can't keep my hands off you,” he whispered between kisses, lips trailing down your neck. 
“Do you know how crazy we both must be?” 
“I know exactly how crazy for you I am, Reid. Now, please let me suck your dick.” You moaned the words as his fingers found their way into your panties, stroking your clit. 
“Y/N, I'm trying to talk sense into us here.” He groaned as your fingers fumbled with his pant buttons, hand sliding into the material to wrap around his cock.
“How much sense are you talking with your fingers inside me?” You panted, willing him to just fully let go and let you both enjoy yourselves. 
“While we're out here, Hotch and Rossi are inside, noting down anyone who takes particular offence to our exit. We can enjoy ourselves and catch a better lead.” You started slowly pumping him then, as he pushed closer into you, allowing you to reach more of him at this different angle.
His head dropped to your shoulder as he breathed out a laugh. 
“Right, this will help.” He tried to convince yourself, and you grinned in victory, rocking your hips against his hand to find your release sooner. 
Until he withdrew his hand and used it to grasp your own, halting your movements. 
“Spencer?” You pouted slightly, but he pressed another kiss to your lips  this time forceful and demanding, to guess begging permission to enter and dominate you. 
You gladly accepted him into your mouth, even as you felt him pushing up your skirt, letting the material ride higher as it had been trying to do all night. 
Making sure you were steady against the brick wall, he pulled your hips up and around his, pushing your panties to the side as he pushed inside of you. 
The stretch was maddening. Everywhere he touched became hot against the cool night breeze as he began his frenzied strokes into you. 
You lost all capability for speech, which was probably for the best, as you were sure you'd only ask for him to do more disgusting things to you eventually. 
His mouth slid to the top of your breasts as they bounced with each thrust, waiting to claim a nipple in his mouth when one eventually came free of the offending material. 
“Such a little slut, begging to suck my dick. Maybe next time, princess.” You screamed and arched your back as he finally bit down around your nipple, soothing the skin with his tongue as he licked and suckled there. 
His other hand fell to your clit again, pushing you to the edge as you finally came on his cock. 
He didn't stop though, powering through as you tightened around him, moaning wantonly as his thrusts hit deeper still.
“Let's see what our unsub thinks when he sees my cum dripping out of you,” he whispered again, as he too let himself go, releasing spurt after spurt of cum inside of you. 
Making sure you were strong enough, he set you back down on the ground, keeping an arm wrapped around you protectively as you smoothed your clothes back into place. 
You helped him button his pants as he smoothed your hair, tucking a stray piece behind your ear before ducking in for one more sweet kiss. 
“I'm sorry that I couldn't let you, uh, perform orally,” he blushed again, his ears that same shade of red you noticed earlier as he guided you back inside. “I think someone would have noticed if I'd ruined your makeup that much.”
You practically choked on your own spit as you finally slipped back into the dance hall.
“Next time,” you said, making sure to finish the conversation you'd started. “We’ll have more privacy.” 
848 notes · View notes
gwynfahr · 7 months
Text
Sleeping position
Jordan Li x reader
Synopsis : You can't seem to fall asleep and keep accidentally bugging your lover throughout the night.
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1:57am
"Jordan ? You awake ?" encased in your partners arms, in his masc form for the moment, your voice sounding loud despite the fact you were whispering in the night.
His answer came in a groan and a stir, telling you he was listening.
"Did we do the assignment for Brink's class tomorrow ?" your voice sounded anxious, and you clearly forgot you did it earlier with Jordan while watching an episode of Property Brothers.
"You thinking 'bout that in the middle of the night ?" muffled words came from your lovers whose head was located on the crook of your neck. "We did it two hour ago, babe."
"Oh. That's right, I forgot, sorry for waking you up, baby, go back to sleep." You were still wide awake, so you took it on yourself to help him fall back asleep, after all, you didn't have classes early in the morning tomorrow, while he did. Your hand slowly began caressing his hair and he groaned a bit at the soothing motion, grateful.
Ten minutes later, Jordan was back asleep and you still couldn't sleep. You didn't dare move too much as Jordan's body was litteraly flushed against your side and you really didn't want to wake him up, so you just laid in bed, eyes wide open, trying to understand why your brain wouldn't just fall asleep.
3:36am
An hour later, you got a cramp so painful that you jerked up harshly, moving your boyfriend with you. Your whimpers of pain were made to be silent in order to not wake Jordan up more than he already was, but it was too late.
"Babe, you okay ?" He asked, not quite awake, but definitely not half asleep anymore.
"I got a cramp, sorry." You answered, massaging your calf where the cramp hurt like a bitch. "Shit, that hurts..."
Jordan took your leg in his arms and gently massaged the area, figuring that, if he was awake, he must do something to help. Soon enough, the pain faltered to a reasonable amount. "That's better ?"
You nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry for waking you again, you have classes tomorrow..."
"No it's okay, I was having a nightmare either way, so I should thank you for that."
"Really ? Do you want to talk about it ?" You took his hand, an expression of concern on your face.
"Meh, it's stupid." He said, and then suddenly, Jordan was sat in front of you in her female form.
"Nothing is stupid when it comes to nightmares baby, if you don't want to talk about it, though, it's okay, we can just cuddle until you fall back asleep." you proposed.
"That's clearly implying you won't sleep." Jordan said as you took a more confortable postion, laying back down, face to face on your sides.
"I wasn't sleeping before, but it"s okay, I don't have classes in the morning so, I'll be able to get back some sleep then. You have to wake up early though, baby, you need your beauty sleep."
"Please," Jordan snorted "I don't need sleep to look hot, and I've done worse than a four hours night of sleep. Why weren't you sleeping ?" she asked, hugging you close to her so her head was rested comfortably on your neck, caressing your head. Mechanically, you did the same.
"I think I forgot something, but I can't remember what, and it's bugging me. Ithought it was an assignment or somethng, but it wasn't that. Not a birthday either, not something school related, not an important date for us, not an appointment... I thought about everything and I can't remember." Somehow, explaining it to Jordan made it feel even more stupid, if you forgot something, then you'd remember at some point, no need to lose sleep over it.
Your girlfriend looked deep in thought.
"Maybe it's just your anxiety taking a toll on you. I know it hppens to me when I'm stressed. Just try to forget bout forgetting something and relax." She moved her hands to your back, scratching it softly in a soothing motion, making you giggle a bit at the tickles it created. "I mean, we could also fuck until we're both too tired and lazy to even think about anything, but I feel like you're not really in the mood." She joked a smirk on her face.
You genuinely thougth about it. Jordan was wearing one of your shirt right now, and she looked so hot in it it was criminal. Plus, you really wanted to sleep. However, you felt like the cramp would come back at any too suden moves or contraction of your muscles. "We could make out instead ? You look so hot right now that it's really hard saying no, you need to know."
Soon enough, the both of you were flush against the other, legs entangled, Jordan's hands on your neck as yours were messing with her hair (making it more toussled than it was before). Your mouthes moved in sync, gently, slowly, carefully, you had time, neither of you wanted to sleep anymore. You had to come up for air after some time, but you still found the breath to whisper to Jordan.
"I love you so much, Jordan. So so much."
"I love you too. So much" Was your girlfirend's answer, after a minute of silence where she kissed everywhere she could on your face.
You spent, maybe twenty more minutes making out, Jordan switching forms twice, settling in his male form. Finally, you bth stopped, out of breath. You looked in each other's eyes and Jordan whispered :
"We should try to sleep."
"You're right, it's actually crazy to see you be the responsible one on this relationship, though." You teased before cuddling again with your boyfriend, the forgotten thing plaguing your mind forgotten.
You both fell asleep peacefully ten minutes later.
_________________________________________
4:33 am
Rufus was still calling for help after you hung him on the american flag hamper in the main alley of God U, five hours earlier.
It seems you forgot about this entirely.
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hannieehaee · 6 months
Note
Hii, it’s me again<33 A seventeen reaction to the reader trying to dom them. Love your blog!!
18+ / mdi
seventeen reaction at you trying to dom them
wc: 1008
a/n: thank u so much!! so sorry this is so late 😭 (this is not proofread btw oops)
masterlist
seungcheol -
it would probably never happen under any circumstance. not even your birthday. he's stubborn as hell, so when he tells you he's gonna make you feel good, he means he's gonna make you feel good. only way you could ever successfully dom him would be if he was too physically exhausted to get you off his lap and flip you over, otherwise, i'm sorry, but you were getting domed.
jeonghan -
his reaction would depend on his level of energy at the moment. if this was on any regular day, he'd coo at you, thinking it was adorable that you wanted to take control over him. his snickers at your cuteness would kinda kill the mood, which he would have to bring back up by doming you on his own. if this was after a tiring day, he'd love to lay back and let you boss him around, loving how you took care of him and took him to heaven even at his lowest state.
joshua -
another member who would find the situation cute. it was hard to get him to relinquish control, and he was also unpredictable (he's insane), so it'd be hard for you to know when the appropriate time to try and take control would be. if he was in a silly (read: demonic) mood, he would jokingly belittle you as you tried to dom him, only to swiftly take over and turn the situation upside down. it was only once in many moons that he'd find himself feeling vulnerable enough for you to successfully dom him. you'd have to take advantage of these instances by tying him up and preventing him from taking over again.
jun -
he's just happy to be there. he would probably not fight against you doming him, enjoying your touch all the same. he'd play it up for you, wanting you to know how much pleasure you were giving him by taking control. your ability to pin him down and do with him whatever you wanted would also turn him on immensely. despite having no preference between being domed and doming, he would usually cum twice as hard when you were in control, not knowing what to do with his body was you took care of him.
soonyoung -
he'd just go with the flow. oh? you wanna dom today? fuck yeah! he just wants your naked body in his arms, after all. he'd have fun fucking you like a wild animal, but would also love when you tied him up and whispered all the filthy things you wanted to do to him in his ear.
wonwoo -
he'd deny you but would be sweet about it. he'd gaslight you into submission through kisses and caresses of your body. maybe he'd let you dom him under a special occasion like your birthday or his. those days you'd have to tie him up, knowing he was usually incapable of letting you take control.
jihoon -
he'd be a bit of a wild card. if you caught him worn out from a day full of producing, practicing, or doing any idol work in general, he'd be pliant to your touch. he'd want to be taken care of after his hard day of work, loving how unlike at work, he didn't have to do anything. you did it all for him, providing him with the utmost pleasure. other days, however, he'd stop you, wanting to take his frustrations out on you.
seokmin -
don't let his arms mislead you, this man's chronic case of pussy drunkness would cause him to be perpetually domed by you. he didn't even have to ask, it was all in his 'fuck me' eyes. there was nothing he enjoyed more than letting you take control; letting you take care of him. would probably only work well with soft doming full of praise. be mean to him in this state and he'll cry for real.
mingyu -
convinced he likes to be degraded by the people he loves. he'd whine in the same way be does when his members gang up against him, except that his usual whines to stop would be replaced by whines begging you to continue. this would be a usual occurrence in your sex life. but mingyu was a fair man, so he'd like to keep a semi-even ratio of the times you'd domed him vs. the times he domed you.
minghao -
no lmao. he had some type of pride that did not allow him relinquish control. he wanted to be in charge of your pleasure and that was it. no further argument allowed. the most you'd get out of him in that area would be soft sex in which you'd both praise and caress one another. that was as far as you'd get in regards of doming with him (meaning not at all). he appreciated the effort, though.
seungkwan -
regular thursday afternoon for him. when had you not domed him? this was his favorite thing; lying back and watching your pretty body take pleasure from his, only ever having to maybe grind his hips against you a bit as you did all the work. loved it regardless of whether you were sweet or mean to him during it.
vernon -
not much of a reaction. this happened pretty often, honestly. as a laid back guy, he simply enjoyed the feeling of you taking your pleasure from his body. ecstatic at not having to put too much effort into it, and loving your demeanor whenever you wanted to take control. loved the feeling of lying back and letting you take the reigns. whatever you said would go without complaint.
chan -
one look from you and he'd be on his knees, begging you to let him be your good boy. don't get him wrong, he loved to fuck you into the mattress whenever he could, but would salivate at the idea of you putting him in his place and taking your pleasure from him as you saw fit. he'd do anything you asked of him with the mere promise of some pussy.
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reallyromealone · 6 months
Note
Hear me out. Bonten Mikey x omega male reader
A few years after mikey and m/n broke up, mikey discovered that m/n has a 6 year old daughter who looks like a copy of mikey, and mike like connects rhe timeline and realizes m/n was pregnant at the time of their break up but m/n never told him bc he didnt want his kid to be involved in the mafia/gang shit
-🐰 (late birthday gift for me 🥹?)
It's A VERY LATE FIC I'M SO SORRY
🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐🪐
(Name) smiled as he put his little pups hair in pigtails, her bangs/fringe pinned back with a cute bubble hair band, today they were visiting Draken and Inui and little (daughters name) wanted to dress her best for her favorite uncles--- don't tell the others.
(Daughters name) was (name)s world, the sweetest little pup in the world who was absolutely precious.
Though sometimes it hurt to look at her, she was literally a spitting image of her father-- (name) never realized how feminine Mikey looked till his pup came into the world, but he loved her so much. She was the kindest and most selfless little thing ever. It wasn't the easiest at times but with the support of his friends he managed. Just starting first grade, (name) was thankful to work at the bike shop and being able to collect his little sunshine.
"Don't forget the cookies papa!" (Daughters name) said excitedly as left for their visit, without a care in the world.
Many would ask "where's the sire" upon learning (name) was a single parent, the question annoying and invasive but (name) always lied and made up an excuse about the father being overseas and such.
He refused to let anyone know about the actual reason, that being (daughters name)a father was the most dangerous man in Tokyo, (name) was thankful as much as he was hurt that Mikey dumped him.
He refused to let anyone go through what he did with Kanto Manji Gang.
With what Mikey was quickly becoming.
It was sheer /fucking/ chance that Mikey was waiting for the light to change in his limo as (name) stood at the cross walk holding hands with--
Holy s h i t.
"...boss are you seeing what we're seeing" Kakucho and Sanzu stared in Shellshock as they looked at a tiny Mikey with pigtails and a little dress, all of them doing the mental math and coming to a quick realization that holy fuck (name) was pregnant.
He was pregnant that day, oh my god that's what he wanted to talk to Mikey about!
"What are your thoughts on kids?" (Name) asked awkardly as they ate dinner, Mikey surpisingly home for once to do so "annoying, would get in the way" the blond said simply "a liability"
(Name) forced himself not to place his hand on his stomach, anxiety riddling his body "I see..."
"Why?"
"Just curious"
Mikey was always so disinterested in (name) these days, (name) always suspected that he was cheating, never saying anything though.
(Name) wanted to just scream.
Mikey remembered that night.
It was the night Mikey dumped him, a rash decision on his end and during one of his dark impulse moments.
He immediately regretted it after, the pained look on (name)s face and they hadn't seen each other since.
(Name) had many expectations of life, but seeing his ex sitting on his couch after he put his pup to bed, noticing the other Bonten men guarding the apartment "the fuck are you doing here" Mikey expected (name)a hostility and glanced up "that's my kid"
"What do you want Mikey" (name) wasn't having any conversation, he wanted to know what the hell he was doing here "I want to meet my kid"
"And get involved in your bullshit? Absolutely not! "Babies are a liability" remember that Mikey?" He hissed out and Mikey sighed, knowing this wasn't going to be easy "I deserve to meet her"
"You lost that chance when you broke up with me, I'm not letting my daughter deal with your shit, Mikey you're /dangerous/! She's six and I don't want her to ever go through what I went through!"
"I can keep you both safe!"
"YOU COULDN'T EVEN KEEP ME SAFE!" (name) was crying at this point, so angry at his once beloveds audacity"I kept her away for a reason Mikey, you are dangerous! She gets to play with her friends and have sleep overs! Has sleep overs at the friends you left behind! She gets to have a childhood that isn't currupted!"
"Why can't you let her have that?" (Name)s voice was broken and his body shaking, he would sacrifice everything for his daughter and at this moment he would stand his ground.
Bonten would poison her.
"Can...can I just please /know/ my daughter"
(Name) was tired, he was tired of it all "if you can /promise/ me that nothing will happen to her, I will let you meet her but one slip up Sano and I will never let you see her again"
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yarrystyleeza · 22 days
Note
Happy birthday tomorrow Yuna! Hope you'll have an amazing day ❤️❤️
As for a request... When I saw you would write for Daryl, I knew I had to send you something. Season 1 and 2 Daryl lives rent free in my mind, so can I please request:
"when they tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear while you talk" and "brushing against each other, even if there is enough room"
Thank you in advance and again, Happy birthday 😁❤️🎉
Awww thank you my love, sorry for answering this late, hope you didn't mind it, it was stupid of me! 😅💖💖💖
I was stuck with the plot of the request for the last two months until last night, I literally wrote this in less than 10 hours lol 🤣🤣🤣 hope you enjoy it, though, and sorry for keeping you hanging! 💖💖💖 You're so welcome and thank you for dropping this request and for the birthday wishes! 🥰🥰🥰
Little Things (D.D)
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Requested by @munsonownsmyass
Pairing and dynamic: Daryl Dixon x female! reader, idiots in love
Prompt: fluff, s1!s2!Daryl, tucking hair behind ear, brushing against each other even if there's enough room + petnames for the cherry on top!
Word count: 1.4k!
Writer's note: I loved writing this one so much! As you lily, season one and two Daryl is my favorite Daryl era (beside S8). Not 100% proofread but I hope you really enjoy it, have a great day! <3
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"Hurt y'self, little thin'?" He teased, watching you lying on the forest bed after your foot faltered and slipped you into the bottom of the hill. Your brows knitted, you rolled your eyes, he chuckled at the face you made, "alright, I'm comin'."
He slides down, smoothly, and a little bit pompously—with a smirk on his face. You can't lie—he made you smile though you desperately wanted to punch him right in the face.
He offered his hand to you and you accepted his help. At first, he let you wrap your arm around his neck as he walked you towards the hill exit—but as it turns out, you sprained your ankle so bad it was impossible for you to take another step. He scooped you in his arms and carried you back to the quarry.
And that's how you met Daryl.
You can't admit he wasn't a pain in the ass most of the time—if not always, getting on your nerves and driving you up the wall, it was so constant you started thinking he was doing it on purpose.
It kinda was. Daryl had serious troubles with conveying his emotions, and that idiot had a sickening crush on you ever since he saw you at the camp with the girls. He wanted your attention and he only got it when he drove you mad, so he tooled it in his advantage.
You were his favorite. You're the only one he talks to—other than his brother, Merle—and you, too, are the only one who wants to talk to him.
You too had a crush on him. His silly fights and bickering became more amusing to you—sometimes you couldn't even contain the smile drawn across your face when he's mad about something so stupid and could be fixed in complete silence, and when you gave him your smug face—it always drove him insane. You learnt he's quick-tempered, but these ones were visibly made up just to get a chance to be with you.
Daryl reminded you of those little boys in the playground when they used to ruin the girls' sand castles or pull their braids and ribbons just to get their attention. Ever since you came up to this conclusion—life has never been easier!
But things changed a little bit after the attack on the quarry. Daryl turned from only being a hot-headed idiot to be completely protective of you, but that doesn't mean he stopped getting angry—God forbid he does! But he got more reasonable and collected—around you, at least.
As soon as you got to the CDC, he grew closer to you, more friendly, more worried, more caring. He barely slept the night you spent there, checking on you every thirty minutes to make sure you don't need anything—despite you being a wall apart. It was adorable, and it stirred something in you.
Same night at dinner, right before you went to bed, he sat beside you as you dined, he made sure your plate was full and that you'd eaten well because 'it's been a while since you got a decent meal', he says.
And in the middle of the chaos the following morning—he solely cared for you, and not a thing was going to stop him from smashing Dr. Jenner's head that morning if it wasn't for you calming him down.
The two of you escaped in his pickup truck. But despite the horror you had just fled, you couldn't stop stealing glances at each other, Daryl was focused on driving but you spotted him staring at you with soft eyes a couple of times. Both of you blushed, multiple times—vividly, but you couldn't stop. Something was so amusing and sweet about the way he was looking at you, and you were so tempting to him he could stop staring at you even if he wanted to.
Now, staying at Hershel's farmhouse, Daryl turned out to be that sweet lovey dovey guy who'd absolutely melt under your touch—in complete opposite to the face he's been showing to everyone.
As you went out to search for Sophia, Daryl offered to accompany you. He kept brushing arms with you, pumping into your side, and gently holding your biceps to guide you as you walked. He kept putting himself between you and any threat, not letting you shed a drop of sweat—you were almost a passenger princess, but on foot.
But it was very obvious the night he got shot—your heart dropped when it happened, and when you learned it was your Daryl and not some misinformation. You couldn't watch as they took the bullet out, you couldn't watch him screaming in agony—yet you heard him from behind the door. It tore your heart into pieces.
The night fell as you sat on the chair next to his bed, your head dripping every couple minutes as you drifted in and out of sleep. Your head was heavy as a rock sinking in the ocean—yet you kept fighting Mr. Sandman back, shaking your head and rubbing your eyes and patting your face.
"Go to bed, pet," he softly demanded, "ye're tired from sittin' here all day," he extended an arm, gently placing it on your thigh and squeezing it chastely, "ya need some rest."
You shook your head, "I'm fine, Daryl," you shrugged, "it's not like it's the first time I stay up late."
Both of you stay silent, staring at each other with soft eyes. "Climb up in 'ere," Daryl says, his voice was tinted with plead "at least you won't have to keep droppin' yer head like a sippy chicken."
"No, Daryl," you shook your head in utter refusal, desperately trying to show him how awake you are despite craving a warm bed, "you need your own space. What if I accidentally hit your wound--"
"Come on, pet, you know you won't..." he softly smiles, shaking his head. You sigh and climb into the bed with him and he shares his blanket with you. He turns to face you, the moonlight is perfectly casted upon your faces, his blue eyes sparkled and reflected you like a looking glass. He grazes your cheek, tucking your stray hair back behind your ear and his fingertips linger on the skin of your neck.
"Get some sleep, love," he caresses your hair, "I won't need nothin' when ye're right next to me."
You woke up tangled up in his chest, it was warm and peaceful. You never wanted to slip out of his arms—if it wasn't for Hershel coming over to check on him and the men accompanying him.
Daryl got better as the days gone by. You started to see him in the kitchen fetching some biscuits or chips, he'd pump into you on his way out, brushing arms with you and glancing at you with his blueies and a smile. And if he's in the right mood, he'd take you off guard and peck your cheek, and you'd turn red and try to bite your smile. He caught it had quite the right effect on you, and he's been doing it ever since.
"Let it down, pumpkin," Daryl flirts as he snatches the scrunchie out of your hand as you tried to tie your hair, "love it when it's coverin' yer pretty face, gives me a reason to keep tuckin' it back."
"But we're going on a mission," you protest, "it would be dangerous for both of us!"
Daryl takes a run around the golden field and you chase him—but he overpowers you and you stop running, panting and clutching your chest as he giggles. He mischievously walks back closer to you, so you try to take it back, but he's taller than you, stretching his hand up with your scrunchie and shaking it to tease you. "Ya ain't tiein' it today, darlin'."
"Give it back!" you giggle as you jump to reach for your scrunchie, but he keeps stretching his arm above his head.
"Ye look so cute like that, pumpkin," he pulls a smug face as you lean forward against him, your chests compacting and you're an inch away from kissing.
"You could've told me you wanted to kiss me," you tease, not minding that he lowered his hand back down. He tucks your stray bangs behind your ear, ending up doing what he wanted to do all along.
"But it's more fun to watch ya tiptoe and lean on to me like that," he rounds you with his big arms, pulling you deeper into his chest with a Bastard smirk on his face, "it makes you even prettier, pet. These little things you do."
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Likes and reblogs are appreciated, thank you for coming to my birthday sleepover celebration! 💞💞💞
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oddinary4bts · 7 months
Text
When the End Comes | ch 4 (jjk)
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☆summary: Seven years after you've started dating Jungkook, long distance creates a wedge in your relationship. When the only solution seems to be breaking up, you go your separate ways even though love still lives in the two of you. Will you find a way back together, or has the end come for you and Jeon Jungkook?
☆pairing: photographer!Jungkook x lawyer!female reader
☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there is mature content in every chapter)
☆genre: breakup!au, slice of life!au, angst with a big A, smut
☆warnings: fear of getting stood up, alcohol, pet names, curses, Jungkook's scars, angst, stubborn Jungkook, pessimism, depressive episode, cliffhanger at the end I'm sorry, explicit content: jerking off, oral sex (male receiving), Jungkook taking pictures of them during (I apologize, I have sinned), balls sucking/fondling, pain kink (Jungkook), deep throating, mouth fucking, unprotected sex, hickey, clit play, degradation, fingering, cum play (ish?)
☆word count: 14.3k
☆series masterpost
☆a/n: Rereading each chapter to edit is a challenge bc I just be sobbing the whole time :') I hope you enjoy this one, though it does really hurt oop
☆a/n pt2: Thank you to @moonleeai for beta-ing this, you are the best <3 and thank you to @jessikahathaway for supporting me with this project, you are amazinnng
☆Read The Forgotten Spaces here, the prequel to When the End Comes! It does not need to be read to understand When the End Comes, but I think it still should be read first to have a better understanding of the characters in general!
☆Add yourself to the taglist here (if you were on the taglist for The Forgotten Spaces, you're already on the taglist for When the End Comes!)
☆☆☆☆☆
But love never leaves a heart, where it found it, found it You found it Someday, I'll fall into you That's where I'll be now when the end comes
When the End Comes, Andrew Belle
☆☆☆☆☆
Friday, September 8th
                You clutch the gift bag in your hand. It feels strange to be meeting Jungkook again, after last weekend. And even after last weekend, you’re not sure where you’re standing.
Did he spend his whole week thinking about you the way that you were thinking about him?
You texted a little, over the week. Each time a notification from him popped up on your phone, you felt like you’d gone back in time. Like maybe, maybe you took a time machine to a past of better days last weekend. It’s bittersweet in a way, because you feel like there is still so much left unsaid between you and him.
But he’s willing to try. Even if you broke him, even if you’ve been wondering if there’s anything salvageable after all, he’s willing to try. Willing to meet you at a Korean barbecue restaurant halfway between his place and yours.
You check the time, anxiety flooding your veins. He’s running late, though he texted you to tell you he was almost there. A part of you wonders if he’s going to stand you up – you think you’d deserve it. Because you’re not sure you deserve this chance, yet you don’t want to lose it, don’t want to let it go.
You look down at the bag. You bought the gift on a whim this week, and you have no idea if he’ll still want it. It’s a lens he was looking to buy months ago, before he left for Paris, and there’s a high chance that he’ll have bought it for himself since then…
You just couldn’t think about anything other than that to gift him. Even though his work was your demise, you know Jungkook loves photography. Always will, no matter where you two will end up. And since it was his birthday last weekend – before you’d reconnected – you thought why not? Why not get a gift and show him that you still care, that you remember?
Because you’d never forget, when it comes to him. You think, if you had dementia, he’d be the last thing you’d lose, if at all.
You worry at your lip, glancing around. Luckily enough for you, there is a bench outside of the restaurant, though you can only sit on a corner of it as the rest is still wet from the rain earlier. It was raining when you left work, but it fortunately stopped as you were getting ready for the date.
You sigh, looking down at your phone again. Twenty minutes late seems like a long time, considering that Jungkook’s not one to be late usually. A sense of dread takes ahold of your heart, and you already feel tears forming in your eyes.
You were foolish, stupid. Idiotic, if you thought there was a way things could be set right.
You get up, looking towards the door of the restaurant. A couple are waiting in the hall, arms around each other as they hug with not a care in the world. It aches deeply, makes you crave the physical intimacy last Saturday held and you gulp as you swallow around the lump in your throat.
Still you stay rooted in your spot. There’s a light tremor that starts taking a hold of you, and you regret not putting a jacket on even though it isn’t remotely freezing today. Your eyes fall to the gift bag, and you think about May. About the moment you’d let him go – has he gotten too far for you to reach him now?
A tear wins. Or perhaps it’s the gravity, growing ten times stronger as your heart breaks again. As the hope gets lost to you, replaced by that same deep sorrow you’ve become accustomed to. You sigh, the breath of air trembling on the way out.
And then you almost let out a scream as someone touches your arm.
Jungkook startles just as much as you, taking a step back, his big, doe eyes widening even more as he meets your gaze. Your mouth remains open, yet no words come out. You just take him in, take his appearance in – his piercings, the beanie he’s wearing, his flushed cheeks. He looks like he was running, and you think maybe he was.
“I’m sorry,” he tells you.
At that your eyes drop to the bright pink bouquet of flowers he’s holding, and something inside of you heals, as if you’ve found a cure to the disease.
“Oh, Jungkook,” you let out. You meet his gaze again. “You didn’t have to.”
He pulls at his piercings, shrugging sheepishly. “I wanted to.”
It’s warm. Whatever is blossoming in your chest is warm, a stark contrast to the winter you’ve been stuck in since the night you lost him.
“Thank you,” you murmur, and you blink away the tears in your eyes.
You freeze when he wipes the one that’s already rolled on your cheek, frowning slightly at the sight.
“The florist I wanted to go to first was closed,” he says as an explanation. “I had to run around to find another one.”
You offer him a small smile, and his features immediately smooth out into a soft expression too.
“I was scared you were…” you trail off, wetting your lips as you refuse to voice your fear.
Refuse to admit you didn’t have faith in him.
“I thought you would,” he answers carefully. “Hence why I ran.”
You nod. “I…” You look down at the gift bag, holding it up. “I got you a birthday gift.”
His smile is teary when you look at it next, and you take a moment to delve into the depths of his gaze. There’s a small twinkle there, though it is faint, barely even noticeable. If you didn’t know him like the sun knows the moon, you wouldn’t recognize it.
He’s hopeful. It’s strange – there was no hope in Jungkook’s gaze last weekend. Or there had been, for a fraction of a moment, until it had been blown away by the wind. You can only hope that this time it will hold on strong.
“You didn’t have to,” he says, though the curve of his pink lips tells you he appreciates the thought.
He grabs the gift bag, not looking through it right away. Instead, he hands you the flowers, and you delicately take them, bringing them close to your nose so that you can inhale the fragrance. Your eyelids flutter shut, and a content smile moves on your lips.
“Thank you,” you murmur as you meet his gaze again. “And…” You motion towards the gift. “You deserved it. I think you’ll like it.”
There’s a moment of awkward silence, as Jungkook looks down at the bag. He offers you a tight-lipped smile, and you cock an eyebrow.
“What?” he lets out.
“Aren’t you going to…” you vaguely answer. “Open it?”
“Oh, now?” He chuckles awkwardly, glancing around before pointing towards the restaurant. “Shouldn’t we go in to give our names?”
He’s got a point. Especially considering that it’s a Friday evening. So you do just that, giving your phone number to the hostess as she tells you there will be a thirty minutes wait. You and Jungkook move back outside after that, and he guides you towards his car, a few streets down.
“How was work this week?” he asks on the way.
“Better,” you admit, remembering how you’d told him that you didn’t like the new department in which you worked.
And it’s true – it has been better. Maybe because the excitement of receiving texts from him through the days made it easier to handle. Or maybe it’s because you haven’t been so damned cold since last weekend. All in all, work has been easier, even if it isn’t as interesting as it used to be.
“I’m glad,” he says, offering you a smile.
Silence surrounds the two of you, only interrupted by a car honking in the street. You startle a little, and Jungkook chuckles.
You’re struck. His chuckles have healing properties, you’re convinced of it. They spark hope into you, so bright you think you’ll be blinded, retina forever burned. Yet your eyes don’t lose focus on him, even as his lips return to a neutral expression.
“What about you?” you ask as your heart picks up in your chest. “What were you up to this week?”
A small crease appears between his brows, but it disappears so quickly you think you might have imagined it. “I’ve been going to the gym,” he answers. “And looking around for some jobs.”
His last sentence turns the hope into a firework show inside of you. “Yeah? Any luck so far?”
You reach his car, and as he always does, he opens the door for you. You blush, something you haven’t really done with Jungkook in forever, and you’re struck thinking that this feels new.
Perhaps this will be a new chapter in your relationship with Jeon Jungkook after all.
“Thank you,” you mutter as your cheeks burn. You sit in, and he closes the door before moving around the car to get in. You watch him do so, and he sits next to you, turning the car on just long enough so that you can roll the windows down.
“Now,” he lets out, eyeing the bag. “What’s this?”
For some reason, it makes you chuckle, and he shoots you a dumb smile that makes you think you’ve delved right into the heat of summer, warmth spreading through you. It erases the winter, replaces it with blooming flowers and bright sun rays, golden sunsets and the feeling of a soft breeze threading through your hair.
Needless to say, you want to cling to it before winter comes again.
“Open and you’ll see,” you answer, your heart racing as you glance at the bag, before going back to his smile.
He nods, and he opens the bag, taking out the paper first. Your heartbeat increases tenfold because, what if he doesn’t like it?
What if he takes it as an affront that you’ve given him something photography related?
But then he sees it. Sees the lens you bought for him, and his features turn somber, but not in a bad way. They settle into a calm expression, with a softer smile that barely even tugs at the corners of his lips. He takes a deep breath, and then looks towards you again.
Teary eyes find yours, and you think maybe this is it. Maybe this is where the end will find you. Lost in the swirling depth of his gaze, in the forgotten space of you and him.
He whispers your name, emotion making it heavier than the whole world. You nod once, as no sentences take shape in your mind to reply to him. You’re not sure you have to say something – he sees in your eyes the emotions you can’t quite voice.
“You really didn’t have to,” he adds, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he gulps. “Fuck.”
He looks down at the lens, takes it out of the bag so that he can examine it thoroughly. You observe him as he does so, as if you’re watching a show. And you think, maybe he is a show – a movie meant for you to admire on and on until you go old and blindness seeps into your gaze.
“I wanted to,” you reply.
He shoots you a quick look, just as teary as the initial one. “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
And then he laughs, a small vulnerable laugh that has you blinking back the wetness building up on your waterline. You echo it with one of yours, though it comes unexpectedly to you. But then again, you reckon you share the same feelings.
You always have, haven’t you? Your soul is in sync with his, has always been, no matter if distance put an end to the story of you and him. Or tried to, because he’s here today.
So are you, and if he allows it, you’ll never leave again.
“I’ve wanted this lens in forever,” he says, voice small as he turns it in his hands, looking at it in every possible angle. “You…” he trails off, meets your gaze and smiles again. “You remembered.”
You nod. “How could I forget?” You worry at your lips, shy away from his gaze to watch your wriggling fingers in your lap. “There isn’t a day I didn’t think of you.”
The revelation seems out of place, in a parked car on the side of a busy street. Yet it comes naturally to you, and meets him just as naturally. Because he nods, and then reaches for you. Grabs your jaw, gently, so that he can turn your head towards him. There’s a moment when you think the whole world holds his breath, and then he leans forward, brushes a soft kiss on your lips.
“I missed you,” he admits as he pulls away, letting go of your jaw reluctantly.
A tear slips on your cheek, and you quickly dry it. “I missed you too.”
And though the moment is heavy with emotion, you don’t want to run away from it. When you were younger, you would have fled like a deer hearing a branch crack in the woods. But today, today you want the weight of this emotion to rest upon you, like a weighted blanket that reminds you you’re alive.
The emotion lingers, past this moment and into the next. As you get the text that a table is ready for you and him, and you move back to the Korean restaurant. As you sit in front of him, watch him smile and laugh in time with you at the stupid jokes that you make.
You and him make more sense than you realized. Or maybe you forgot. Maybe the distance made you forget, but right now you think you know he’ll always be the one. And if you lose him again, he’ll be the one that got away, and you’ll search for him through every connection with temporary people.
Because there can’t be permanent people after him. He’s permanently inked into your heart, carved into your bones.
“How has your family been?” he asks when there’s a lull in the conversation.
You offer him a tight-lipped smile, though you know he means your father, Isabel and Louis.
You know he’d never talk about your mother as part of your family.
“They’ve been great,” you answer. “Dad’s been looking to retire, or at least to have a lesser charge at work.”
Jungkook furrows his brows, but says nothing as he puts some meat on the grill between you and him. You observe him as he does so, wincing when flames erupt and he pulls his hand away – quickly enough, thankfully.
“How old is he again?” Jungkook asks after that, meeting your gaze again.
“Fifty-nine,” you reply. “But I don’t think it’s about his age. He just wants to spend more time with Louis.”
The softness that takes over his doe eyes makes you want to curl up in him, against him. Makes you want to listen to his beating heart until the day that it ceases, decades away from now. It’s a strong feeling, and you’re forced to blink away tears again.
“Don’t cry,” Jungkook gently says, and he reaches to pat your cheek.
It makes you laugh. Of course it does, and he offers you a dumb smile again. For the first time that night, you notice that yes, it does reach his eyes. The smile lights up his gaze, though there’s wariness, etched in the lines of his face.
It’s not that you missed it before. Maybe you just didn’t want to see it. But right in this instant, it’s all you can see, and it makes his smile fall until his eyes follow, moving to the grill. He turns the meat as you busy yourself with eating japchae.
And you don’t like this silence. You don’t like the ache that it carries, so you force yourself to try. To try and fight for him and prove that, after everything, he really is where the end will be, when it comes for you.
“What about your family?” you ask, throwing him a lifeline in the storm you’re sure he’s been plagued with too.
“They’ve been great,” he answers. “My brother’s wife is pregnant again.”
For a moment you forget about the torment between you and him as your mind zeroes in on the fact. “That’s amazing!” you let out, and your smile comes easily. “They must be so happy.”
Jungkook looks at your smile, taking a deep breath. It seems he takes a decision then, because his lips curve up, and some of the wariness fades away. He looks softer like this, younger, and your heart shines under his light.
“It really is,” he says. “I was thinking on going to Korea to see the baby when Yuri gives birth.”
In another world, you would have said you’ll go with him, but right now you don’t think you can. So, instead, you reply, “That’s a good idea. I’m sure your family will be happy to see you.”
He nods, and then he puts some meat in your bowl, taking the two other stripes for himself. You mindlessly pick one of the pieces up, mixing it in ssamjang before eating it. You wince as you burn your tongue a little, and quickly eat the meat so that you can take a long gulp of water.
Jungkook must have expected you to burn yourself, because he laughs at your expense as he refills your glass. “You good?”
You nod. “Sorry, just burned myself.”
“Don’t apologize.”
So you don’t. For the rest of the evening, you try not to apologize. And you think you succeed – you both speak as if distance wasn’t a thing between you. As if time hasn’t come to pass between you too – as if you’ve never been apart. As if, seven years ago, the stars told the truth as they sparkled in the July night sky.
You finish eating while chatting like this, while sharing thoughts about movies you’ve seen. As he tells you about working out, about Bam and the songs he’s been listening to. He drinks a beer as you speak, and you once again take a moment to admire him.
You’d never admit it, but the beanie makes him look good. Comfortable and soft – as does the jean jacket, you reckon. But then again you know Jungkook would look good in anything, one of the advantages of him being gifted with pretty privilege.
And when he clinks his glass with yours, claiming you have to finish drinking even though you’ve only been drinking water, you still laugh with him, still down your glass as he chugs the beer. And you wonder, how long will it take to erase the distance?
Will it take more than this moment in time, to undo the distance and rebuild the closeness?
And you think, maybe it just needs now. Because as you walk out, bellies full and minds buzzing with a slight tinge of alcohol, you accept Jungkook’s extended hand. You let him guide you to his car, even though yours is parked on the other side of the restaurant. He opens the door for you again, but you hesitate for a moment.
Long enough to step closer to him instead, and pull him down so you can peck his lips. He looks surprised, and his features fall serious as you share a long look.
“Can I come over tonight?” you whisper.
He nods. “I thought it was a given.”
Of course he would. And you’re not even mad that he would. You’re rather relieved, and you can’t help yourself. You can’t help pulling him down in a more heated kiss, even though you hate public displays of affection. There are just words your lips can’t say any other way than this, and he gets it. He’ll always get you. He always will, and he kisses you with the same intensity, one hand cupping your cheek gently while the other presses on the small of your back, resting flat as he pulls you in. You hold his delicate waist, sighing in the kiss as your thumbs draw idle lines on his sides.
Jungkook pulls away to press a kiss on your forehead, lingering there for a small eternity that leads to you wrapping your arms around his waist. He lets you do it, and you wonder if his soul has found yours. You hope it has, for there are things your soul can say even better than your mouth can.
Apologies don’t mean much when they are shaped in words. But you think your soul could show him, and maybe, maybe tonight he’ll allow you to show him.
“Are you parked somewhere you can leave your car overnight?” he asks softly, lips moving against your forehead.
You nod. “I am.”
“Then let’s go home.”
*****
                It comes as a surprise, when you realize Jungkook has moved in the same building as Kiko and Yoongi. Even more so as they run into you on the way in, knowing smiles on their lips as Jungkook holds your hand tight. They don’t really say a lot – both of them aren’t man and woman of words, except when they pour them into the lyrics of a song.
But Kiko does hug you. Does whisper in your ear that she wishes everything will be set right for the two of you, and when you pull away to meet Jungkook’s gaze, you think it already is. Especially as you’re clutching the flowers he got for you, and their sweet fragrance surrounds you.
And then they walk away, as they were leaving to go on a late walk, and you and Jungkook walk in the building, making your way to the elevator. Jungkook presses the call button, and then pulls you close to his chest so that he can press a kiss on the top of your head.
“Well, that was awkward,” he says.
You chuckle. “It wasn’t really.”
His grip tightens around you before he lets you go so that you can enter the elevator. He follows you in, and he intertwines your fingers as he presses on the fourth floor. As the elevator starts moving, you pull him closer, tilting your head back as you pout slightly.
“What?” he asks.
“Kiss me?”
He doesn’t need to be asked twice. He immediately dives in, and you’re surprised with the strength of the kiss. As if he’s pouring his entire soul in it, and you think maybe he is. After all, you kiss him back with all the fire in you, and it’s burning brighter than it ever has.
Unfortunately, the moment is short-lived as you reach his floor and the doors slide open. He pulls away, presses a kiss on your forehead as if he wasn’t sucking on your tongue a moment ago, and then he pulls you behind him as he walks towards his door.
It’s further down the hall, and you wait excitedly as he unlocks. Though you’re a little worried about seeing Bam again – what if he doesn’t recognize you?
Which, you reckon was a stupid thought, because the dog comes barging out, tail wagging wildly, when Jungkook manages to get the door open.
“Bamie!” you exclaim, and Jungkook carefully takes the bouquet of flowers from your hand to allow you to bend down and pet the dog.
He licks at your face, whimpering as if he thought he’d lost you. It brings tears to your eyes, and you giggle like a kid as you pet him, rubbing his short fur as he keeps running all around you.
“I think he’s happy to see you,” Jungkook deadpans, and you burst out laughing.
You look up to try and look at Jungkook, but Bam jumps in your vision, which makes you giggle again. And then, something magical happens. Something you didn’t think you’d hear again – Jungkook laughs that childish laugh of his, the one that usually only comes forth when he’s really happy.
You act by pure instinct. You stand up, wrap your arms around Jungkook’s neck. His giggle dies against your lips, but he’s quick to kiss you back as he snakes his inked arm around your back. You let out a breathy sound, and then burst into a fit of giggles as Bam jumps on you.
“I think he demands attention,” you state and Jungkook nods as you part, though he keeps his arm close to you.
“We should take him on a walk,” he says, and you notice his cheeks are flushed red. You reckon yours probably are too, but there’s something about seeing the effect that you have on him, even after everything, that makes you come undone.
“I’m so happy to be with you right now,” you murmur.
He gulps, eyes shining suddenly. “Me too.” He adds your name softly, before repeating, “Me too.”
You walk in his apartment after that, to put the flowers in a large glass of water since Jungkook doesn’t own any vase. Meanwhile, he disappears in what you assume is the bedroom, only to reappear with his camera. To your surprise, he’s already fitted the new lens on it.
It’s endearing. There’s something so incredibly endearing at the thought that your gift is loved already, that Jungkook already wants to use it. It makes a line of silver appear in your eyes, and you don’t even blink it away as Jungkook angles the camera towards you to take a picture.
“Huh,” he lets out as he looks at the picture. He adjusts some settings, and before he’s had time to take another picture of you, Bam comes up to you, jumping up. His two paws rest on your waist as you laugh, and that’s when Jungkook snaps the picture.
You glance his way to see him smiling softly, and then he nods appreciatively. “I’m going to use this lens way too much,” he comments.
It makes you laugh. “I’m glad.”
And then you’re going outside with the dog. Jungkook brings the camera, and he snaps pictures of the surroundings, of you and Bam. He even takes one of the three of you, though you reckon the angle is clearly unflattering.
It doesn’t feel like it matters. Because you’re struck realizing that this, this moment matters. It matters enough for him to want to commit it to memory, and you wonder if he’s going to add it to all the frames you left behind.
But then again, did he even put them up in his new apartment? From what you could see when you were in, there was no picture visible.
It aches, but then he tells you to smile and you do. You immediately do, because there’s nothing easier than smiling when you’re with him like this. The wariness still clings to him, but it’s barely visible, like a mirage that’s about to fade in the distance.
“Stop taking pictures of me,” you say as he takes another one.
He lets out a noncommittal sound, shrugging his shoulder. “Why?”
You pout as blush creeps on your cheek. “You haven’t taken this many pictures of me since… Chicago?”
He shakes his head. “I took more pictures on our first trip to Korea.”
A beautiful trip, where you’d met his family for the first time. You had gotten along with everyone well, even though your Korean was poor. You got better through the years, but you still have a long way before you can speak in Korean without feeling like everyone is going to judge you.
“That’s beside the point,” you mumble. You motion towards Bam, who’s patiently sitting next to you. “I’m pretty sure he’s done.”
Jungkook pouts, and butterflies take flight in your stomach. “Sorry,” he apologizes.
You’re not quite sure why.
“I just…” he adds, and then shadows cloud over his features. They resemble the sorrow that was surrounding him last weekend, and just like that you think summer has ended. “I haven’t used my camera since…”
You don’t need for him to say it, because you know exactly what he was going to say. Still, it hurts, and your gaze drops to the ground.
“Gosh,” you whisper. You let out a strangled sound. “I’m so sorry.”
He doesn’t say anything. Just grabs your hand, raising it to his mouth to press a gentle kiss on your knuckles.
“We said we’d try,” he reminds you, or maybe he’s trying to remind himself. “Let’s try. For real. So no more apologies.”
“I feel like you deserve thousands of apologies and more,” you admit.
He kisses your forehead, and it’s against your skin that he whispers, “I just want us to move on from what happened.”
You nod, wrapping an arm around his waist to loosely hug him. Unfortunately, Bam pulls on his leash, and you have to let go of Jungkook far too quickly. Still, you meet his gaze, nodding your head again.
“I want to move on too,” you tell him. “If I could, I’d erase everything but…”
He holds out his hand for you to interlace your fingers with his. “But it’s in the past.”
He’s right, yet you see the wariness. It’s still there, though you think soon the mist will dissipate with the rays of the sun. So you follow him in, let him feed Bam before he shows you around his small apartment. It feels like him, in ways you can’t really describe, and you want to stay. You think, if he’d ask you’d never leave again.
“I like it,” you tell him as he finishes the tour in his bedroom, which is only occupied by an unmade bed with white sheet and a small night table with his pair of glasses on top. You notice the LED lights, and a smile moves to your lips. “Please tell me these still shine purple like they did at the house with the boys.”
Jungkook nods, offering you a grin. “Yeah. I thought it’d be great to have a… reminder of a simpler time.”
He turns them on, and you get it. You get it so much you grab the lapels of his jean jacket, pulling him closer to you. His lips are upon yours in an instant, hungry, insistent, ravishing a kiss that makes you light-headed. Especially as he grabs your face, holds on to it like it’s a life buoy in a storm. The piercings push into your bottom lip, their colder temperature making your tongue dart to them, as if to warm them.
Jungkook groans, and then kicks the door of his bedroom shut. He’s had to stop kissing you for that, but he’s kissing you again half a second later, and it’s even more intense, more desperate.
You let go of his jacket, hands blindly moving to his belt as he pushes his tongue in your mouth. You suck on it, moan lightly when he groans again. You fumble with the buckle, but soon enough you get it undone, and you move on to the button of his jeans.
You just want him. Need to feel his body against you, in you. And clearly he needs the same thing, as he pulls away from the hug to take your shirt off. Right as you get the button undone, and then unzip his jeans. You slip your hand in, letting out a breathy sound as you find him already hard. He sits heavy in your hand, and you squeeze him unabashedly.
“Fuck,” he curses, head thrown back as his eyes close. “Baby.”
The pet name has you drop to your knees, and you pull his pants down just enough for his dick to spring free. He doesn’t try to stop you, and you admire him for a time. Admire the brown base of his tip, the veins that run along his length. A bead of precum appears on his slit as you look, and you’re quick to lick it clean. The salty taste fills your mouth, and you look up at him, to see him watching down on you, strands of hair falling in his eyes where they’ve escaped the confines of his beanie.
“Suck it, mmh?” he says.
You grab him, jerking him off loosely. “Yeah?”
His eyes darken behind the strands of hair. He bites at his piercings, cocking his head to the side. And then he’s glancing away and to your surprise, he asks, “Can I take pictures of you while you suck my dick?”
You swirl your tongue around his tip, and he bucks his hips forward. In answer, you sit back on your heels, looking up at him innocently. “Right now?” He nods. “You want to take pictures of me while I suck your dick?”
“If you want to,” he answers. “If you don’t want to it’s fine.”
You close your lips around his tip, sucking once. “You’ll keep the pictures to yourself?”
You don’t know why you’re agreeing. Only know that the lust in Jungkook’s gaze is making you forget everything about common sense. But then again, you highly doubt that Jungkook would ever do anything to harm you.
Jungkook’s mouth falls open as he was about to answer, but when you take his dick as far as you can, he’s silenced. And he’s hard in your mouth, a rod of steel you’ve missed since last week.
“Yeah,” he finally breathes out.
You sit back on your heels. “Then it’s fine.”
He smirks, nodding his head as he finishes taking off his jeans and underwear. “Wait here.”
You purse your lips as he walks away, and you watch him leaving his room to head to where he left his camera. You patiently wait, feeling shy even though you have nothing to be shy about. This is just Jungkook – it’s not like he hasn’t seen you half-naked and on your knees for him before.
It takes him a moment to come back, but when he does, it’s to sit on bed. He’s still hard, and he leans back on a hand as you move closer.
“If you want me to stop, you tell me, okay?” he gently says as you run a hand along his thighs.
You glance at his scar, the familiar knot of skin giving you more confidence than you expected. “You’re going to jerk off to these pictures, mmh?”             
He gulps, angling his camera towards you as you lean closer to his dick. You lick at it, and the shutter goes off.
It has you dripping in your panties, unexpectedly.
“So what if I do?” he asks as you grab his dick, stroking him.
The question is rhetorical, and your answer is to wrap your lips around his cock as your eyes flutter shut. You swirl your tongue around the tip and hollow your cheeks as you go down. You hold the gag reflex in as he hits the back of your throat, and you can’t help but moan as you hear his camera again.
You flick your tongue at his frenulum on the way out, and then you stroke his dick as you sit back. You move one hand to his balls, squeezing gently before thinking better of it and leaning forward, sucking on one. He grunts, and you keep your eyes locked on the camera as you jerk him off faster.
Another picture added to the list. And you’re dripping wet. Already you want to sink on his dick, want him to be so deep inside of you that you’re just one.
“Kook…” you murmur, and then you’re back to sucking on his dick, though this time you make sure to squeeze his balls too, the way that he likes it. Hard, but not too hard, and you’re choking around his dick in no time as he starts fucking up in your mouth, clearly forgetting about the pictures.
It goes like this for a while, with his dick growing impossibly hard. Your jaw aches by the time he pushes down on your head, hand lost in your hair. You gag, and he moans loudly. You think he’s coming, but he somehow manages to keep it in before pulling you off.
“Shit,” he curses. “Sorry.” He breathes for a moment, as you wipe your mouth and chin from the drool.
“It’s okay,” you reassure him. You glance at the camera. “Any good pics?”
That brings him back to the land of lust and passion, and he offers you a smirk. “We can look at them after. I’m not done with you yet.”
You laugh, because you know you’ve barely started. Know you’re likely to be unable to walk tomorrow. Because the lust in his gaze hasn’t shone so bright in years, yes, but also because you almost lost each other.
Or maybe you have, and this too is just a dip in the past.
You stand up, hands snaking to your back so that you can unclasp your bra. Jungkook watches you carefully, before taking a picture as you massage your breasts. It makes you bite at your lower lip, and you look at his hard dick where it rests on his stomach.
“Can I ride you?” you ask breathlessly.
He smirks. “You don’t want me to finger you first?”
Instead of replying, you finish undressing, taking off your pants and panties at the same time. You then push on his jean jacket, and he takes that as a cue to remove it. You motion to the shirt too as he was about to lean back on his hand and he cocks his head to the side, an eyebrow raised. When you nod, he takes it off too, and it makes his beanie fall.
His hair is a mess, and you can’t resist but step forward so that you can push it back, though you think the jet black strands are currently untamable. You give up after a few seconds, pushing on his chest so that he lies back.
His eyes are on you as you climb on his lap, and you grind along his length, coating it with your juices.
“Shit,” he lets out again. “You’re fucking dripping.”
You nod, moving up just enough so that you can grab the base of his dick. His tip prods your entrance, and he pulls at his piercings as you wait there, teasing him with a corner smile on your lips.
“Fucking tease,” he growls.
It undoes something in you. Because yes, you wanted to tease him. You wanted him to beg you to fuck him, but now you sink down on him, until he reaches your cervix. Even the pain of him hitting the back of your pussy doesn’t make you move, and your walls clench around his dick as he grunts out a curse, followed by your name.
“Kook,” you purr. “Fuck me good.”
He chuckles as you circle your hips, and his free hand rests on your hip as he angles his camera to take a picture of you again. “You can’t do the work?”
He says it condescendingly, and you find enough challenge in you to start bouncing up and down. It shuts him up, and the following moment is spent with you fucking yourself on him as he groans under you, your breathy moans filling his room. Soon enough he stops taking pictures, putting his camera down next to him so that he can hold your hips with his two hands.
And then he’s fucking up in you, and you cry out as you lean forward, wrapping an arm around his neck while your other hand holds on to his shoulder.
You’re a mess, yet your heart clenches in your chest as he fucks you like this. As you remember a land of winter, that somehow doesn’t feel as distant as it should. Maybe because of Jungkook’s wariness tonight, or maybe because you know all good things come to an end.
The thought douses your arousal, until Jungkook stills deep inside of you and whispers, “I want to be with you, like this, forever.”
You nuzzle your face in his neck and suck a mark on his skin. “Me too.”
And then he’s fucking you again, hard and quick. He holds you close, grunts in your ear as you lick at his neck. It’s an abundance of sensation, and your brain focuses on the way he hits your clit whenever he pushes up. Whenever his hips snap against you, and soon there’s an orgasm in the distance.
It finds you when he lets you sit up so that you can fuck yourself on him again, and his thumb finds your clit to press expert circles on it. It finds you hard, and your pussy spasms repeatedly on his dick. He helps you through the high, and when you finally come down, a dumb smile tugs at the corners of your lips.
“Fuck,” you let out.
“Felt good?” he asks with a teasing tone to his voice, the one you know he only reserves for you.
To hear it right now makes you love him so much you think you’ll die on the spot. Because yes, tonight has been great. Yes, it’s almost been like before, but what if he doesn’t take you back?
What if, in the end, this was just an extended moment meant to be closure for you and him?
“Yes,” you still reply.
Because no matter how much your heart aches in your chest, you’ll never lie to him.
“Good,” he says. He sits up, wraps an arm around your waist to steady you as he brings his mouth to yours.
You go in for the kiss. Meet him halfway, and you moan against him as he moves under you, albeit clumsily from the position.
His lips will make you drunk. Make you dumb, make you forget that there’s a world outside the door. That, in that world, you might not belong to him anymore. But then again, you think you do. To you, you always will.
“Lie on your side,” he says after a moment, lips moving against yours.
Jungkook pecks your lips one last time before you move, and then he kneels behind you. His dick prods your entrance again, and he grabs his camera to snap another picture.
“You’re so fucking hot,” he praises as he pushes the tip in, taking another picture. “Such a good little fucking slut.”
And then he pushes all the way in, until all of him is embedded in you. You grip the sheets as a broken moan escapes your lips. He holds your hip with one hand, fingers digging in the supple skin as he fucks you hard, chasing his own orgasm.
He looks good doing it. Long hair sticking to the sweat on his face, eyes narrowed in pleasure, mouth open as soft grunts echo through the room. The purple light makes his honey skin glow somehow, and you feel another orgasm reaching for you, though it doesn’t hit right away. It just feels so good – as he always does – and you can’t help but clench your walls against him.
That’s what undoes him. He comes, ropes of white painting your insides, as he swears and says your name in a litany that almost makes you go over the edge too.
“Baby,” he says at the end.
It feels like a confirmation. Like a confirmation that, maybe, maybe you will work this time around. That maybe distance won’t destroy you again – maybe you’ll grow old and gray by his side.
“You came so much,” you say as you feel his hot cum sitting deep inside of you.
He pulls at his piercing, nodding once. And then he pulls out, and he takes a picture of the cum dripping out of you. He decides to push it back in, curling a finger inside of you, and your walls clench as you moan.
“Touch your clit,” he tells you.
You don’t need to be told twice. You quickly move your fingers to the sensitive bundle of nerves, drawing quick circles on it as he pushes another digit inside of you, fingering you until the second orgasm finally finds you.
You cry out his name, a broken plea that doesn’t really make any sense as your vision turns white. And it stays that way for a long time, blinding you until ecstasy is swimming in your blood. And when you come down from the high, all that you can think is how much you missed him.
“Kook,” you breathe out.
“Baby…”
He puts the camera away, and then bends to press a kiss on your lips. It’s soft, and you grab his face to hold him in place, not even wincing as a bead of his sweat rolls on your cheek. You kiss him with a heart heavy with emotions, trying to show him that you’re never going to leave again. When he pulls away, you notice his teary gaze.
“Can we be together again?” he asks, and you watch in horror as a tear rolls on his cheek. You sit up, drying it with your thumb.
And you don’t care if it was too quick. Don’t care that there’s a high chance it won’t last. You still answer, “Yes, Kook. Yes we can.”
He smiles, nodding his head. “Let’s take a shower. I want to hold you tonight.”
You want to cry from the statement, want to tell him that you wish he could hold you forever, but the words get lodged in your throat. Instead, you follow him as he gets up, interlacing your fingers with his as he leads you to the bathroom, uncaring that his seed is rolling down your inner thighs.
He turns the shower on, and soon enough you’re standing under the hot water. He watches you carefully, presses a kiss on your forehead when you stand in front of him. You wrap your arms around his waist, holding him as close as you physically can. Even then it’s not enough – you want him under your skin, or to be under his.
You don’t think you’d survive being parted from him again. Maybe that’s why you let him fuck you again when you return to his room, slower this time, lips entwined in a never-ending embrace. Love flows between you and him, and it’s etched in the way your bodies move together, in the way you’ve been molded perfectly for him, and him for you.
You wonder if outside, the stars are shining. And you’re struck thinking that tonight, tonight they’ve aligned for you and him again, the universe agreeing for this second chance between you and him.
So you hold him close, and pray that this time around, forever is waiting for you.
Saturday, September 9th
                Jungkook wakes up slowly. Softly, the same way waves hit the shore at low tide. He’s unusually warm, and he frowns as he shifts, trying to turn on his side. Then, he realizes his arm is stuck under something. His very dead arm, and he cracks an eye open.
That’s when he remembers that it’s you. You’re the one sleeping next to him, mouth slightly agape as you breathe softly. You’re also the one crushing his arm, and he tentatively clenches and unclenches his fist to try to get the blood circulation back on track. It doesn’t really work, so then he stops, figuring he’s going to have to make you move somehow.
But you look peaceful, in the light of the rising sun. Serene, like there’s never been anything wrong in this world. This morning, Jungkook wants to believe it. Wants to believe that happiness is all he’s ever known – that accidents, heartbreak and pain are all constructs of his imagination.
He’s too realistic for that. Or perhaps the breakup has made him pessimistic. Because the peace of the moment doesn’t really linger, and he’s stuck reliving the moment you left, that night in May. Stuck reliving the wait for you to come back, only you never did.
Or maybe you did, months later. Maybe you really are back, and this time you’ll stay.
You mumble something in your sleep, startling him. It takes him a few seconds to realize you’re still deep asleep, but when you move he quickly does too, pulling his arm from under your head. You frown, lick your lips, and then your features smooth out as you return to your peaceful slumber.
He turns on his side, watching you carefully. He’s aware that watching you sleep is creepy, but he can’t help it. Not when his bed has been empty for months.
He stays like this for a while, unable to fall back asleep. Because, what if you’re gone when he wakes up again? He doesn’t want to risk it.
Unable to help himself, he gently brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. You sigh, and he’s afraid he’s woken you up. When a small smile appears on your lips, his heart skips a beat, yet you don’t show any other sign that you’re awake. He assumes you aren’t, and then decide to take a picture of this moment.
He feels like he’s going to need it. Like all the pictures he took yesterday – he was desperate to commit to memory as much of you as he possibly could. He feels bad – he said he’d give you a chance, he is giving you a chance, but some part of him is just waiting for it to blow up in his face.
Maybe if he expects it it will hurt less.
He carefully grabs his camera where he left it on his night table. He doesn’t dare take a look at the pictures you took yesterday, a little ashamed that he asked you to do that in the first place. Silently, he takes a picture of you, and then puts the camera away.
Only, the reminder of the kind of pictures he’d find in the camera was enough to make his blood stir, and he picks it back up almost immediately.
And then there you are, in all your glory. Beautiful as ever, pussy filled to the brim with his cum, with his cock. Tits squeezed in your hands, in his, and his dick goes rock hard as blood leaves his head.
He wants you again, and he wants you now. He doesn’t care that it’s early morning, that he never liked waking up early. All he can do is put the camera down and slide closer to you. He pulls you back into his embrace, and you sigh softly as he wraps his arms around you.
Jungkook holds you tighter, nuzzling his face in your hair. The inebriating scent of your shampoo fills his nose, and his dick twitches in his underwear.
You hum, and he holds you tighter. “Morning,” he says, voice low and gravelly.
You make another sound that can pass as a hum, but you move against him, until you’ve wrapped an arm around his middle. There’s a moment where silence reigns again, and Jungkook is afraid you’ve fallen back asleep, but then you say, “Morning.”
He smiles. “Slept well?” he asks, kissing the top of your head.
He’s convinced you’re smiling against him as you say, “Want to sleep more.”
He whines, which earns him a chuckle from you that makes the wariness settle back in, even as his heart feels full in his chest.
It never felt full without you. Another reason why he needs to be ready for the blow, whenever it comes.
“I want you,” he admits. “Can’t sleep.”
You hum again, and your hand slides down his back. You squeeze his ass, and then move the hand back up. “You’re going to have to try.”
He whines, lips jutting out in a pout. “Boring.”
At that you laugh, pushing him slightly until you’re able to look him in the eye. He keeps the pout on, knowing that it always worked with you before.
“It’s not even morning,” you point out.
“The sun is up.”
You roll your eyes, though your lips are curved upwards, your gaze beaming as you hold his. “We fucked twice last night.”
He shrugs, rolling on his back so that he can stare up at the ceiling. He pulls at his piercing, the new one, and then turns his head towards you again. “Yeah, and?”
“Surely you don’t need to fuck right now,” you tease.
He frowns, looking away again. “Not my fault if I haven’t fucked since… May. Last weekend doesn’t count.”
“I’m pretty sure it does,” you say, laughing lightly. You prop yourself up on an elbow, blinking away the tiredness as you meet his gaze again. “And besides,” you pause, features turning confused as a crease appears between your brows. “Haven’t you fucked while we were…” you trail off, motioning vaguely around you.
And then something occurs to Jungkook. Something bad – maybe the explosion was closer than he expected it to be. Maybe he’s been standing in the radius of impact, waiting for the bomb to go off. And maybe your sleep deprived brain forgot the measure of protection, maybe it forgot he was standing there.
Because your eyes go round with fear, right as a drop of lead solidifies in Jungkook’s stomach.
“What?” he lets out.
What a stupid question to ask. He wants to beat himself up, because he knows.
He knows now that you’ve been with someone else. Why else would you be surprised that he hasn’t?
“I’m just saying…” you try, but it’s too late.
The bomb has gone off, and all that’s left is rumbles.
“Get out,” Jungkook says, and somehow it’s lacking bite. It’s lacking anger, lacking any signs that he cares for you.
It surprises even himself – doesn’t he care? Or is there nothing left of him in the aftermath of the explosion?
“Kook.”
“You’ve fucked someone else,” he states. When you don’t say anything, just watch him in horror, he sits up in bed. “Get out.”
“Come on,” you let out this time, following him up. You wrap yourself in the blanket, his blanket, and he wants to rip it from your body. Doesn’t want anything that’s his to be in contact with you anymore. “It didn’t mean anything,” you say, and you’re suddenly blinking back tears. “It was just one-time.”
“Frankly, I don’t want to know,” Jungkook says, and he really doesn’t. Doesn’t want to think about another man’s hand on you, or he’ll break.
He’s done breaking for you.
You don’t fight the tears, as you understand that the end really has come. At least that’s what he thinks happens – you just sit there, gaze heavy with tears until they fall, little droplets that carry a world of regret.
After all, the distance really was enough to break you up, wasn’t it?
Jungkook watches you, surprised that his heart is not clenching in his chest. No, he feels nothing as he watches you – he’s already cried enough for you.
“We were broken up,” you murmur, holding his gaze. “It’s not like I cheated.”
At that he laughs, shaking his head. If you can’t understand that he’s done, that he doesn’t want to have anything to do with you anymore, then he’ll do it the harsh way.
“I don’t give a fuck,” he says. “I couldn’t be with someone else. I tried, and you were all I could think of. And…”
“You tried!” you interject. “You tried and you’re giving me shit for it?”
He gets up, trying to put distance between you and him, as if that’ll make the fight easier.
“I still chose not to do it,” he coldly states. “The girl was willing, she even kissed me and…”
“You kissed someone else?”
He laughs again, the absurdity of the situation dawning upon him. “Yeah? Tae set me up on a date, and the girl kissed me at the end and I told her I couldn’t. I didn’t fuck someone else.”
The way he’s throwing the blame at you feels selfish, especially as more tears join those already sliding down your cheeks.
“How is that fair, that you’re mad at me when you literally went on a date with someone else?” You pause, choking on a sob as you try to dry your cheeks. “Come on, Kook, it meant nothing.”
“Who did you fuck anyway?” he asks.
For a reason unknown, your tears stop. Entirely, there a moment and gone the next. “Why do you want to know?”
He doesn’t. He doesn’t fucking want to know, and he scoffs as he runs a hand through his hair, pulling at the strands. “Get out,” he says again, still as stern and void of emotion.
“It was Harrison,” you still say. “I switched departments because I didn’t want to see him again after that.”
Now, there’s an inkling of pain tickling the carcass of his dead heart. As if there was still more, for him to feel, even after everything. As if pain is but a constant of his life now, and he thinks maybe it is.
“Your colleague?” he repeats, dumbfounded.
He’s met Harrison a couple of times, throughout your relationship. He’s always thought the guy was decent, but now something very ugly settles deep in his core. Something that tells him, ‘Hey, maybe he’s only ever wanted to fuck her, maybe he was waiting for his chance’.
The words are on a loop in his head, and he doesn’t even think he can see you anymore. All that he sees is Harrison with his hands on you, in his ever-too creative mind.
He startles as you put a hand on his arm. He shrugs your grip off, steps away from you. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
“Kook, I swear, please listen to me,” you beg, and now you’re crying again.
He shakes his head. “I don’t want to.” At that he shuts his eyes, runs a hand on his forehead and then through his hair. “I really don’t want to. I don’t want you to be here anymore.”
“It didn’t mean anything,” you say, an echo of something you said earlier. Though this time you say it differently, as if you too sensed the finality in Jungkook’s tone.
He doesn’t think he’ll ever want you to be around anymore. He was stupid to give you a chance after you broke his heart – you chose to break up, months ago. Why would it be different this time around?
“It doesn’t matter,” he tells you, as softly as he can. Because he knows you’ll break even more, and some dark, twisted part of him is satisfied that this time, this time he’s the one with all the power over you. “I’m done, Y/n.”
The words sound like thunder, in all their calmness. In all their softness – or maybe that was the sound of your heart breaking. Whatever it was, Jungkook really is done. He wants you gone, wants to be able to break in the quiet peace of his home.
A home you aren’t a part of anymore.
You nod. He expects you to fight more, but you nod. Choke out a sob, turn around, and start putting your clothes on. He figures he should dress too, so he does, picking up discarded items of clothing on the floor, not caring that they probably aren’t clean. All that he cares about is to get you out of his apartment, out of his sight.
And when you’re ready, he walks you to the front door. Lets you say goodbye to Bam, a crushing parallel to the time you’ve said goodbye in May. Bam still looks confused, and Jungkook feels bad, for a moment. Because you were the dog’s mother – he’s been looking for you ever since May. Jungkook can only hope that, this time around, Bam understands that it’s farewell.
When you straighten, you mutter an apology. Jungkook ignores it, holds your gaze expecting something to hurt, but he’s just empty. Empty and tired, and all he wants is to go back to sleep and to never wake up again.
“I can’t let you go,” you let out, voice stark with pain.
He shrugs. “You should have realized that in May.”
You close your eyes, and you look so fragile. Like glass – it never survives the shockwave of an explosion, doesn’t it?
“Please,” you beg. “Let me make it up to you.”
He laughs bitterly. “How? You’re going to go back in time and not get fucked by him? You’re going to go back in time and not break up?”
You look like you want to curse him, and he almost wants you to. He wants you to fight, wants you to make him feel something other than this emptiness. Instead, you shake even more, sobs racking through you.
“I wish I could.”
“Leave.”
“Jungkook, I swear,” you insist. “Let’s not lose each other over this.”
He wets his lips, tongue pushing in the inside of his cheek next. “We’ve lost each other already. It’s time we realize that we have.”
And that does it. You fall silent, defeat washing over you like a tsunami wave – there’s nothing left after its passage, and you look tired, sick, standing there right next to the door.
“I’m so sorry,” you apologize again.
He shrugs. “It’s whatever. The past is the past.”
You look like you want to say something else, but somehow you remain silent. Somehow you look at him for a time, bloodshot eyes taking in his features as if it’s the last time you’ll ever see him again. He surprises himself by doing it too, mostly by instinct. Because right now, looking at you makes him want to be sick, but he knows that it won’t last.
He knows that the echo of pain in the distance is a good indicator that he still has it in him to break for you. That he’ll break for you forever, perhaps. Because he doesn’t think that there’s an end to you and him. It’s always going to be a cycle, and it’ll never end well.
“Goodbye, Jungkook,” you murmur.
He offers you a tight-lipped smile. “Goodbye.”
All he can do is hope you know it means farewell.
Thursday, October 5th
                You used to love fall. The cooler weather, the long walks that smell like soil and fallen leaves and pumpkins. Nowadays, you hate fall.
You hate it because he loved it, and every reminder of him is poison to you. And though the season is still early, the days are getting shorter, and the longer the night, the more you drown in thoughts.
You haven’t slept in weeks. Have barely eaten too, and you’ve been off from work for a week. It’s allowed you to stay in, to just sit and try to breathe, hoping that it’ll help.
That it’ll fix something that’s never going to be fixed.
You’re lost. Lost in a town that used to be your home, lost in memories that used to be beauty brought to life – now, you’re seeing the ugliness in beauty. Because beauty is temporary, and like all temporary things in life it doesn’t last long enough. Beauty, and the ending temporality of it, leaves nothing when it goes but a bitter taste in mouth.
Perhaps that’s why you haven’t been able to eat properly.
You haven’t spoken to anyone, since the early morning he asked you to leave. Yet for some reason, you’ve felt the need to go outside today. To walk around, aimlessly perhaps, but you couldn’t stay inside a second longer. Too many tears were shed in your apartment, and you hoped the cool weather would help you feel better.
It does, a little. Because you feel like you’re breathing him in every time you inhale, and then carry him out on an exhale. You feel close to him, in a distant way that’s bound to only make you break harder tonight, but right now you can’t bring yourself to care. You do hate the reminders of him, but you need them. Viscerally, as he was the oxygen in your lungs for so long.
You’re going to have to learn how to live without him, one step at a time.
So you take another step, let your instinct carry you where you have to go. Maybe it knows how to heal.
The sun is descending in the sky, and the absence of clouds lead to a sea of azure you’d swim in if you could. You’d soar up high, so high that there isn’t oxygen anymore, and maybe then the pain would cease. You’d ride a sunray into the night, where you’d finally be able to fall into a well-deserved slumber.
As you look up, a tiny bird flies across the sky, a small speck of brown that goes so fast you think you imagine it. Like the years with him – they went by so quickly, the crushing wheel of time spinning down the slope towards the end.
Seven years ago, almost to the day, you kissed him on a hotel roof lost in Chicago, under clouds painted with fire. Who knew seven years later you’d be trying to live without him, clearly failing at it.
You sigh, pushing the thought away as you reach a crossing. You wait for the light to turn green, then follow the parallel white lines across the road. You avoid a pile of leaves, though a strong gust of wind makes some of them swirl around you, spinning like Mother Nature’s tiny dancers.
The foliage in the trees along the street is golden and red, bright colours that look out of place in the bleakness of your heart. You follow them, wonder if they know that they are about to die. The answer is one you’ll never have, and so you walk under the trees, the autumn breeze playing with your hair.
You don’t know where your steps have been carrying you. You’ve long gone past the places you usually go to, heading towards the middle of the city. The no man’s land between you and Jungkook, spread wide in a maze of streets you want to get lost in.
So you do. You press on, walk until the sun becomes a ball of melted gold nearing the horizon, and it’s on the corner of a street that a glint in a vitrine catches your eyes.
You eye the rings, crafted by an expert hand. Bands of gold, with diamonds and emeralds and gems you don’t know the name of. They look expensive, elegant, and you wonder if you would have had a ring on your finger one day, bought by him.
Recklessly, you walk into the shop, wishing to peruse its vitrines, hoping they’ll offer you dreams to survive the night. And you can almost see it – a ring on your finger, a proposal under a star-sprinkled sky, an intimate wedding for you and him. A dance, always and forever, of love shared like a secret in the night. Your secret, as the end would have one day come for you and him, an eternity of life later. You would have been old and grey, yet your love would have been young and eternal.
In this dream, he would have never taken the job overseas. You’d have stayed here, together, growing old by his side. You would have gotten more dogs, maybe even a cat, and you’d have lived happily ever after.
You wonder if, in a parallel universe to yours, the dream is unfolding. If parallel-universe you has the chance to experience it, and you think she does. You think she does, and the love is so strong it’s shaking through universes, picking you up like you’re just a leaf in an autumn wind.
Because why else, then, do you find yourself buying a gold band? Too big for you, masculine in its simplicity. Something you think he would have worn, had you been in that other universe.
You sit on a bench outside, after, as the last of the sunlight finally fades away, replaced by a blue dusk that matches your mood far better than the sun ever could. You have no idea where you are in the city, no will to brave the trek back home – you’ve been out for hours at this point.
You grab your phone, long forgotten in your purse. You haven’t touched it all day, and to your surprise you’ve received a couple of texts while you were walking, all by the same person.
[04:37 pm] Jimin: hey, this is going to sound crazy [04:37 pm] Jimin: and I’m really sorry to be telling u this [04:37 pm] Jimin: can u go check on JK? [04:38 pm] Jimin: he’s been unreachable for days and at this point I think he’ll only talk to u
You want to text him back to fuck off, to leave you alone, yet you hold on tighter to the velvety box in which the gold band hides. After all, even if you’ve received the texts hours ago, you’re realizing perhaps that that’s where your steps have been leading you anyway.
It’s stupid – he asked you to leave. Hasn’t contacted you once since then, and it’s like the wedding and the week after never happened. Like you’ve been broken up for months, like you barely know him anymore. He’s a stranger now, in your life, something you’d never thought he’d become someday.
And why would he talk to you? Why would he want you in his vicinity, when he made it clear as spring water that he was done, that the end had come to pass between you and him?
But if the end has come, why is that you’ve been feeling like you’re surrounded by him, today? Like you’ll always be – just a drop of water in the sea of him. Perhaps you are weak, to feel for him the way that you do, but seven years ago, the cataclysm that started you and him shook you, and its repercussions are still felt today. Will be felt until your dying breath, until all that’s left of you is stardust.
So you let your feet carry you, weightless in the way that you’re moving forward. Like you are once again but a leaf carried by the wind, and you can only hope that it’ll let you land in the right place.
You don’t really know how you make it to his building. Perhaps you were closer than you initially thought you were – all that you know is that you recognize the building, and that you sense his proximity through the walls.
Your heart reaches for him, longs for him in a way you can’t ignore anymore. Because you’ve been dead, without him. Just a shell of what you should be, of what you want to be. Because yes, you could learn to live without him. After everything that you’ve been through, you know well enough that you are strong enough to do it.
But you don’t want it. You want that dream you’ve found in the jewelry shop, want to make it possible. Want to prove that, no matter who would ever get close to you, he’ll always be the owner of your heart.
So you walk in. Reach the elevator, press on the call button. Then on the fourth floor, reminiscing the night you rode the elevator in his company, right before the fall. The new fall, a harshest one that made you reach those low levels of hell that living without him are consisted of.
You awaken when you are standing in front of his door. You think you can almost hear him inside, moving around through his home. You wonder if he can hear your heartbeat, where you’re standing. If he too can tell that you’re nearby once again, even though you shouldn’t have been.
Even though farewells have come to pass between you and him.
You don’t knock. You don’t have to. To your surprise, the door opens in front of you, slowly, before you’ve even managed to raise your arm to knock. Then his voice fills your ear, as he tells Bam to wait. You just stand there, dumbfounded, and then his eyes move from the floor to your face, and his mouth falls open.
Bam jumps on you, tail wagging wildly as you take a step back from the force of impact. You pet him on the head, pushing him back to the floor as you try to focus on Jungkook.
And then it dawns upon you that you have no clue what to tell him. You reckon you maybe should have prepared something in advance, because you’re wordless standing in front of him.
“Hey,” you eventually say, and you think the world has time to revolve around the sun three times before you manage to say something else. “How are you?”
His mouth slowly shuts, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. He pulls on Bam’s leash, tells the dog to sit, before he finally addresses you. Just your name, and the way he says it make it sound formal, like you’re just a stranger.
“What are you doing here?” he asks after another moment.
You look down at your hands. At the box you’re holding, and his eyes follow after you. “I was thinking of you, today,” you admit.
He sighs, and his eyes shut. “You were?”
You nod as he meets your gaze again. “When am I not?” Your comment doesn’t ask for a response, and he doesn’t offer you one either. “Jimin told me you’ve been unreachable.”
“Yeah,” he lets out. “I’ve been busy.”
“Oh.” You try to look behind him, as if you’ll find his reason to be busy there. “Can I talk to you?”
He says your name, this time like an apology. “I told you we were done.”
You shrug. “I know.” You gulp, fingers playing with the velvet box as if it’ll help ground you. “Can I walk Bam with you, then?”
He looks conflicted but he gives in. Says yes in a defeated way that rips your heart from your chest, in a way that makes you cling to the ring box even more, hoping that it’ll offer you salvation.
Being outside in the early fall evening with him feels like the Earth has finally returned to its normal axis. You don’t say anything, unable to find the words, and he remains silent too. You just enjoy his company, watching over Bam as he sniffs at plants before peeing on a pole.
Stars are twinkling in the sky up above. The breeze is still soft tonight, caressing your features in a gentle embrace that resembles the one he’d used to offer you, though it’s far colder than his. You spare a glance at him – he’s already looking, and he doesn’t look away as your gazes connect.
“What are you doing here?” he asks again.
You wet your lips. “I don’t know,” you admit. “I’ve been thinking about you.”
“How is that an explanation?” A shrug of your shoulders is all the answer he gets. He scoffs, shakes his head slightly, and then his head turns toward the door of his building. “I have hot chocolate inside,” he tells you, once again sounding defeated. “Do you want a cup?”
Turns out salvation wasn’t to be found in the velvet box you’re holding, but in the gentle angles of Jungkook’s features, behind his big doe eyes that will forever feel like home to you.
“I don’t want to intrude,” you tell him, voice soft. “I just wanted to… talk.”
“Then let’s talk over a cup of hot chocolate,” he says.
Which is what you do. You follow him in, feeling like you’re out of place in his life. Like he’s only giving this to you because of what you used to be to one another. Yet you don’t care. You’re slowly finding words, your brain shaping them into sentences to change an ending you can’t come to terms with.
Jungkook prepares the hot chocolate in silence, as you sit at his small dinner table. You play with Bam as he does so, a game of tug-of-war that you’re bound to lose as the dog is far stronger than you. Yet you still indulge, as you’ve missed Bam far more than you even thought possible.
The game is only interrupted when Jungkook rests a cup of steaming hot chocolate on the table next to you. You let Bam go, and the dog trots away to go play somewhere else, you can only assume.
“What did you want to talk about?”
You’ve left the ring box on the table. You’ve noticed Jungkook glancing at it repeatedly since you’ve put it there, and you worry at your bottom lip.
“I wanted to apologize again, for what it’s worth,” you answer. “I felt horrible when it happened, and just wanted to forget all about it.”
His features turn harsh, and his eyes drop into the cup of hot chocolate he’s nursing for himself. It reminds you of a café, of a conversation you had years ago, that led to you opening up to him, and to him opening up to you.
“I love you,” you continue. “I haven’t stopped loving you, and if I’d known that breaking up would hurt so much, I would’ve fought harder. I wish I had, and I wish I’d never let you go.”
“But you did…” he says when you remain silent for a few seconds.
“But I did. And I understand if you hate me for it. If you don’t want to ever see me again. But shit, you’re the only thing that I’ve been able to think about. Just you, and everything that could have been, had I been stronger.”
You grab the cup of hot chocolate, the warmth of it slowly seeping through your cold fingers. For the next few minutes, you don’t say anything, and neither does he. You just drink the hot chocolate, hoping you’ll find more words to say at the bottom of the cup.
“The distance was hard,” Jungkook eventually says. “I don’t blame you for wanting to end things over it.”
It surprises you. Makes your brain go entirely empty, and you just watch him with wide eyes for a few seconds.
He shrugs as you don’t say anything. “What?” He looks down, tongue darting out to play with his piercings. “I’ve been thinking about everything too.”
“Yeah?”
He nods. “I over-reacted, when you told me you had sex with Harrison,” he admits.
Totally not expecting the conversation to take this turn, you’re stunned silent.
“I was shocked, and needed time to process,” he continues. “You were right, the fact that I went on a full-on date is just as bad, differently. We were broken up, we didn’t owe each other anything.”
As much as it pains you to agree, you still do, nodding your head. “We didn’t.”
He purses his lips, holds your gaze for a few seconds before glancing down at his cup. The silence is more comfortable now, as you think maybe, maybe then the dream you’ve dreamed about isn’t just a distant mirage of what could have once been. It’s foolish, but you can’t help it.
You think your heart is beating for the first time since you left that morning weeks ago.
“Did you want to speak about anything else?” he asks after he’s taken a long sip of his hot chocolate.
You take a deep breath, and somehow courage finds you on the long exhale. “I don’t want us to be over.”
You think you hear him gulp. “You don’t?”
Blinking away a few tears, you shake your head no. “I really don’t. I walked around all day today, and all I could think about was you. All I could think of was all the years between us, from when we met to a few weeks ago. And I don’t know, I refuse to accept that the end has come.”
“When does it come, then?” he asks.
“When the end comes?”
He nods.
“After years and years,” you say, allowing yourself to voice your dream. “Hopefully after we’ve had years to live together. After we’ve gotten married, and maybe even after we’ve had kids. Not that I want some.” You pause, and you look down at the table, unable to carry the weight of his gaze anymore. “Or maybe after we’ve had plenty of dogs, a cat or two. After we’ve had a house with a white picket fence, after we’ve danced under a thousand different night skies.” A tear rolls on your cheek, and you do nothing to stop it. “After we’ve travelled the world together, after we’ve had a chance to live, together.”
“And what happens after we’ve lived together?” he presses.
You shrug. “Then we die together. Then we turn into stardust and memories. I don’t care. As long as it’s with you, I don’t care what happens to me.”
Blurry behind the wall of tears in your eyes, you see Jungkook run a hand through his hair. “You don’t?”
“I don’t,” you echo. “I just want to get to love you.”
At that you do cry. And not just a little bit. Your heart longs and yearns for him, reaching in the space between you, trying to find a beat to sync with. You wipe your cheeks dry with trembling hands, before pressing the heel of your palms on your eyes, hoping to stop the cascade at the source.
“It’s a nice dream,” Jungkook says after the few minutes it takes you to collect yourself, your hands falling to the table.
“Is it?”
He nods. “Yeah. I don’t think we’d do a white picket fence though. I’ve always found cedar trees make a better fence.”
Something stirs inside of you, and you want to take a hold of him, and to never let go. “Yeah?”
He sits back in the chair, looks up to the ceiling as he blinks away the silver in his own gaze. You wonder if he’s crying because he saw you cry, as the sympathetic crier that he is, or because he shares the emotions in your heart.
“Where would you want to get married?” he asks then.
You push the velvet box towards him. “This is for you.”
He doesn’t acknowledge this, instead repeating the question.
“Somewhere in the countryside,” you answer. “Maybe the cottage where it all started.” You think about Julys of a world ago. “Under the night sky.”
“People don��t usually get married when it’s already dark.”
“Right,” you let out. “Then we’d have a ceremony for just us two when it’s dark outside.”
At that he grabs the box, opening it. You reckon he must have known what the content was, because he doesn’t say anything as he takes it out. As he tries to put it on his finger, though it doesn’t fit. It’s too tight, and it makes him chuckle, a sad sound that almost kills you on the spot.
“Do you think we’d dance under the stars?” he asks as he turns the gold band in his fingers, and light glimmers on it.
“Yes,” you say, nodding your head. “We always would.”
“So you came all the way here to tell me this?”
He meets your gaze again, for the first time in a while. He looks struck with emotion, much like you feel – the depths of his eyes are swirling with love and ache and yearning. You fall forward, fall in his eyes, trying to find home again.
“I came here to ask you to marry me,” you finally say, as it dawns upon you that, yes, your steps were leading you to this all along. “Jungkook, will you marry me?”
He smiles, a world of sadness etched in the sweet curve of his lips. “Can it be this easy?”
You shut your eyes. “It can. Please. Let’s not lose what we have again.”
“When would you like to get married?” he asks.
“Are you saying yes?”
He plays with his piercing, takes a deep breath as he chases tears away from his gaze but to no avail. You watch the two drops as they slowly roll down his face. “When would you like to get married?”
“In July,” you answer easily.
“Next year?”
You nod.
He holds your gaze for a few seconds more, then looks at the gold band again. His fist closes around it, slowly, as if he’ll be able to crush it in his hold. For what you don’t know. All that you know is that his features grow tortured, pained. It doesn’t last long – another deep breath later the expression is gone.
“I need to tell you something,” he says then, his voice so small you can barely hear it.
You prepare yourself. As well as you can, expecting the blow before it comes. You sense it – in the eternity it takes for him to speak again, you see every moment of you and him before this day, your life flashing before your eyes as if you’re about to die.
And then he says it a first time. At first you don’t even understand the words, as if he’s speaking a foreign language. So you let out, “What?”, hoping that it will change the cruelty that this world holds.
But nothing can, after the end has come. Nothing, especially not as he repeats the words, softly, their meaning tainting the dream you’ve just painted with him, until all that’s left of it is a bitter aftertaste in your mouth.
“I’m permanently moving to South Korea.”
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I'm sorry for the angst, for the cliffhanger, for them to be so stubborn and for how life is working against them now. I hope you don't hate me too much after this :') let me know what you think of this chapter!
All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.
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