#i'm still reeling from it really

[artsekey]

Went to apply for a job, midway through I learned that the person hiring is someone I respect very, very much in my field (who I have never spoken to), then saw the application site was closed (How Did I Miss the Deadline for this Really Cool Job!!!!) and then saw that it was the website's fault and that they were taking applications through LinkedIn DM's. So I did the premium trial & sent my reel in, and they told me they're sending it to recruitment/leads and that it's a good reel!!!! And then the person I have respected for years sent me a friend request!

I'm beside myself!!

[icarus-mp3]

[shima-draws]

Haha remember when I said Genshin was being homophobic by running Alhaitham and Kazuha at the same time. Ahaha.

First 10 pull on Kazuha’s banner. I get Kazuha. I go to pull on Alhaitham’s. Two pulls in I get Qiqi. (I am sad to be once again cockblocked by Qiqi.) Two pulls after THAT I pull Alhaitham. What the fuck. What the actual,,

I pulled THREE five stars within 60 wishes. How in the FUCK

I’m so sorry for ever doubting you Genshin I may have called you homophobic but you blessed me during this Pride Month

[uncanny-tranny]

Something kind of funny I never anticipated about crocheting with longer hair was pulling out a piece of my own hair out of my project that I somehow crocheted into it

[5ummit]

I feel sick. Tumblr has basically been my whole world for the last 14 or so years, more than a third of my life. It feels like a beloved friend has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. I don't know how long they have left but I now have to live with the knowledge that the end is near. That some day, possibly soon, I will have to live in a world without them. That I will probably have to watch them slowly wither away until they're a husk of their former self (which has already been happening though I've tried to turn a blind eye) and I'm not sure if that's better or worse than pulling the plug because at least I'll have a little more time with them.

I know there have been "tumblr is dead" scares in the past but this one is not like those. This one is not a joke. It's real (unless a miracle occurs and we suddenly gets a massive amount of funding from some generous benefactor). Tumblr has been rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic for years now but we've finally hit the iceberg.

My only hope is, now that we know the end is no longer theoretical, the tumblr community will rally around and put real funding into an alternative like pillowfort or cohost. Now more than ever we need to create a true crowdsourced archive of our own for fandom so that this can't keep happening.

I'll make backup accounts on other sites, but in case you were wondering, I'm not planning on going anywhere just yet. I'm going down with this ship. It's been an honor and a privilege. 🫡

[faithfromanewperspective]

after spending far too long crying about how my family doesn't accept me for it (which isn't quite fair, they don't know how important it is to me because I didn't tell them) I've decided that this is a big real part of me and may well be part of my calling, my identity etc given how close to my heart it is

I want to provide homes and I want to create communities. I want to care for people in said communities and have them do the same for me. I don't want to just pay it lip service. I've worked my entire life to figure out how to do this well: environmentally sustainable urban design, trauma-informed interactions, centring diversity including disability, the value of authenticity in connection, unlearning amatonormativity and cishetnormativity and the nuclear family and instead brainstorming based around what works best for each individual and us as a collective group.

personally, I don't give a fuck if people think I want to help people who don't deserve it. if I can manage it and it makes me happy that's better than just about anything else. if they care about me they'll listen when I say that I don't enjoy what are supposed to be pleasures when I feel like they're distracting me from connecting with people the way that I want to. but I also have to be realistic: I can barely take care of myself now, I can't be a saviour, but I can be a catalyst toward something magical. I can't do it alone, but how can I find people who want to do it with me if no one knows how central this is to who i am?

[remythologise]

2023 fujoshi wrapped

you got baited 24 times

you debated the difference between queer-coding, queerbaiting and censorship in the comments section 4 times

you revisited fanfiction for 7 hit ships from the 2000s

you got blocked 5 times for tagging paragraphs of old man yaoi ship meta on unrelated text posts

you played 585 hours of video games for a combined total of 10 minutes of gay subtext and/or sex scenes

you judged a BL manga or light novel by its cover 948 times

you told 39 friends to watch 3 gay tv shows that are 'actually really really well written and enjoyable and not just gay' and 0 of them did

[crossedwiress]

we're on the borderline, dangerously fine and unforgiving

[elytrafemme]

UGH. today... Today... i start playing pokemon black for the FIRST TIME !!!

[b-blushes]

small joy of the day is looking forward to washing my hair after getting a haircut, it's always the most satisfying thing to me for some reason <3

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also it's something (better) like, the exercise of deliberately [art imitates life imitates art] holding up Billions to My IRL Things Perspective and going like whaaat would i want for winston. first answer is you want any character to not have been within the scope of the show in the first place, and to exit it since they are. and you kind of get that in the accidental reward in banishing winston, since like in the end it's just that the show doesn't care about him existing at that point But like it's winston sitting there quietly as everyone leaves & turns out the lights & Then he can leave too; others have peaced out & nobody remembers he exists so Now he can go off & do whatever.

but like in true form i think they definitely accidentally baked in another divine reward for winston in that, like, the way he's kept around as fodder for these fun little [pov: enjoy abusing this guy] asides with him, where it Just So Happens that he's autistic as something they're unaware of but is completely relevant to the expectation we understand him to be inferior(tm), it Just So Happens that he's also ""bad"" at not ""causing"" abuse to be turned on him. he's ""bad"" at staying in line. like well yes Yes that's what i want for him. just like In Real Life it's like yeah Ideally i'd want people to be able to extricate themselves from where they're trapped in power structures & i'd want them to have the perspective about it of understanding they're not Inferior / i.e. they are as much a person as anyone else and they're not corrupting everything good / i.e. it wasn't them Bringing It Upon Themselves and it's not them being Destructive by toppling a jenga tower of a hierarchy that happened to be pressing down on them. and winston is the kind of [the ruinerrrrrr] who is Turned On exactly because he keeps acting like someone who's on the verge of breaking out of the [being in line] someone demands of him as autist, employee, whatever other supposed manifestations of [inferior]

like in the 5 second stretches in which winston's allowed to speak before retaliation, it's because he's like "matter of factly" delivering whatever Information that's useful for another plotline. then he Brings It Upon Himself by making people aware that he's Also existing in his own right as a person rather than what they think serves their own deal / what they want from him at all times, perhaps by expressing his personality (didn't appeal to them! so it was Wrong) or not b/c of anything in particular said or done at present, just b/c people have a constant / accumulating contempt for him so their being in the same room as him & able to see & hear him is already dangerous. the [we're just seeing Any Abusive Dynamic in action] continuing apace.

and it's like, well, right there. he's written as acting like someone who doesn't blame himself for how he's treated, which billions frames as being Rude & Mean, and so too does everyone's abusers lmfao like and that these are his moments that are written to be Bringing It Upon Himself. and it's like hell yeah he doesn't blame himself. hell yeah that his self-esteem can manifest as anger at all. hell yeah that he keeps expressing himself with personality & confidence & doesn't even disguise his having been hurt, & it's this [his ass is Not grey rocking] that billions frames as both him "causing" his abuse & making that abuse "successful" lol, wrow just like real life!! and when like speaking of real life yeah it's not "bad" that people Do engage in strategies to mitigate & survive, including things like blaming themselves or being too "boring" to be anything but a non dialogued background character b/c that's all that goes unpunished, it's bad b/c it's done to them at all, not [ohh they're doing it to themselvesss] and like i'm asking myself like Ideally. what do i want Ideally. and i'd want winston to know that it's being Done To Him & i'd want him to find as much room for his personhood & autonomy as possible. and that's basically how he's written anyways, and billions hates that like You See this is why he deserves it this is why he's doing it to himself. and i'm like my god if that's not Inspiration for like "so what if people don't find you Personally Likable" and not preemptively holding back all personality or anything that'd draw attention as if you exist as a person in your own right & not something that only either gets in the way of or serves their wants of a Real person (someone with more power) like hell yeah you have him out here doing it =']

another fun addendum is like, billions isn't getting into it much b/c it doesn't seem to care much about "what if some people were peers & seem to have a genuine, recipcrocal relationship?" but that it just so happened to be like "oh tuk as the next closest loser who deserves it might be nice to winston" while it's framing winston as the "worse" Loser as being....unconditionally supportive of tuk. while the one downside of billions Also giving bentuk as much as it is is that it also inevitably has that shadow of "but ben is Superior to tuk" and like that it's correct that everyone encourages tuk to Stop Bringing It Upon Himself and start being less of a loser; it's wrong for winston to be like hey let's go have a foursome. like yeah probably don't make a list of the women you work with you'd be dtf but it's not like i'm convinced "ah billions and it's strong anti misogyny stance like" roflmao and billions is Not reflecting on "the downsides of unconditional support?" there when winston was beaten up for criticising taylor earlier like we WILL take his ideas while looting his [beaten unconscious] body there but he WAS wrong to express them as though he's BETTER than taylor!!! mafee's beautiful show of loyalty in kicking his ass even when he might agree with the argument and then benefit when it's adopted by taylor anyways! so it's as usual actually purely based on hierarchy & who gets to be in charge of people. it's correct for ben to be in charge of tuk, unless he has to step aside for that bizarre dead-end subplot about how it's tuk's fault if he's treated badly, b/c it's really his own Failure to have Confidence to know he has good ideas [raising our voice to deliver this message over the sound of breaking desks and chairs and computer monitors over winston because he had the confidence to act like he deserved to talk to someone and because he knows his ideas efforts & results are good & valuable around there] like. and isn't it sooo fucked up to talk about who you're dtf in the episode that has it be neutral if your boss is dtf & lets you know but is nice about it (and you're already Correctly tending to their ego, which you're responsible for!) like hey no possible problem! it's not even so much of a problem for a boss man to have the sex they're entitled to & be rude about their leveraging their power in that acquisition that it Stays a problem into the next season. ew, winston is Known (Inferred) Dtf??? we'll use it to exploit His vulnerability, exacerbate it, & punish him further for good measure in another episode that just revels in abuse & violation with a sexual aspect once again, but like, hey tuk don't do that, winston's such a Bad Influence for being like, shrug, kneejerk intervening with the Good Friendship where the One In Charge leaps in & Tells tuk the Correct thing to do. obviously there's also the tragedy that billions will Never let winston push back against Real Winners like rian or taylor in A Way That Matters (actually gets in their way at all) lol like. one thing that would have really been fun, winston should've literal kneejerk started physically fighting wags in either pertinent scene in 7x03 for real 110%. i wouldn't be like Gasp Violence Is Never The Answer if he just hit someone to hit them b/c fuck you. or broke anything on his way out etc etc. billions would Never let him. which is the other side of the same coin of [why he should get to]

tl;dr how great that winston's being "out of line" means he's basically always noticeably flouting & rebelling against the [He Deserves Abuse] agenda lol. that IS what i want. his being "beyond hope" like ohhh he's sooo stupid he doesn't realize how much he has the bad tastes & wrong interests & annoying personality He Will Always Be This Way like hell yeah!!! billions like oh no winston's personhood will never stay tamped down & locked away such that some godawful person tolerates keeping him in their inventory :( ohhh the ABA will never work :( that's right!!!!!!!!!! although they're not sad about it because it's about relishing the promise there will always be True Inferiors you can enjoy abusing with your righteous power over, but like well you wrote him escaping anyways even while dragging other "better" characters into standing around to serve axe's need for more than 1.8 employees and [crickets, reverberating cough, sneaker scuff] like. another ""wrong"" thing for winston to do, another thing for him to not "deserve," which is itself godawful actually lol like lord what it "rewards" its Good, Deserving characters with, no thanks. meanwhile winston's punishment is that he's autistic and """bad""" at being abused like lmfao good for him, fantastic for him, just what i want

[tomaturtles]

ALSO I!!!!!! GOT TO TAKE A PICTURE WITH JUN SENOUE AAAHHHH 😭😭😭😭😭💙💙💙💙💙

[nc-vb]

fanfic writers will be like "I'm sorry if this is terrible, English isn't my first language" AND THEN PROCEED TO BUST OUT A FRICKIN JANE AUSTEN/ERNEST HEMINGWAY-LEVEL MASTERPIECE THAT HAS ME CONTEMPLATING MY LIFE AND LITERATURE AS A WHOLE????

[practically-an-x-man]

Nevermind we're good!! Found an artist who's super excited to work on this project (apparently tiger lilies are his favorite flower too) and he had a cancellation tomorrow so I'm gonna pop in and get these inked!!

[illithiddies]

The bg3 fandom is so big and active rn I can't imagine there aren't at least a few servers out there that put like... a reasonable limit on the sort of dark content that can be discussed in it while still also allowing nuanced and mature discussion about it, especially considering the game's canon topics.

It's such a bizarre delicate balance but there has to be something right?

[coquelicoq]

does anybody else say "hay is for horses, cows, and sheep. too bad you're a jackass" when someone yells "hey!" at them or is that another thing my dad made up