#i've got lumbago

[zoeykallus]

Gregor x Reader One-Shot – In Love And Pain

As requested by @palliateclaws A One-shot with sweet Gregor, I hope you like it :)) Warnings: Mention and description of sciatica problems, herniated disks /Pain/Comfort/Fluff/Romance

_______________

Gregor got up very early in the morning, sitting on the sofa in your apartment and digging through holobooks and newspaper articles. Last night, after your movie date, you suddenly found it hard to walk again. Gregor was supporting you the whole time, you had to take some breaks, and you tried to hide your pain, but he knew. He rolled his eyes with a small smile at the thought of it. No matter how bad you feel, you never want to be a burden to anyone. He thinks it's unnecessary, it's not a burden, Gregor is happy to help you, anytime.

He reads through a mountain of info on sciatica problems and herniated disks, trying to memorize as much as he can. Gregor wants to understand you better, know what you are dealing with.

Symptoms: tingling, electric shock-like or pulling pains, numbness, paralysis symptoms

Treatment: depends on cause and severity; treatment options include medications, surgery, physical therapy, heat treatments, massages.

Causes: Herniated disc, vertebral body injuries, articular rheumatism, inflammations, abscesses, bruises, tumors, infections

Prognosis: With timely, proper treatment, the chances are good that the symptoms will heal completely.

Gregor nods silently. The symptoms sound really unpleasant, but he likes the idea of a possible treatment, at least as far as the problem with the sciatica is concerned.

He continues reading:

Sciatic pain and the accompanying symptoms sometimes occur gradually, sometimes quite suddenly. Doctors refer to the typical sciatic pain as neuropathic pain - meaning that it is not due to a structural injury in the leg or buttocks, but to the nerve itself.

More descriptively, many patients express themselves: For example, sciatica symptoms feel "like an electric shock" or "ants tingling in the leg." In addition, numbness or paralysis symptoms occur in some cases.

It is also characteristic that the pain radiates. This is referred to as radicular pain (pain originating from the nerve root). This distinguishes sciatica from lumbago, for example. The trigger here is often an unfortunate twisting or lifting that leads to a sudden, severe back pain. However, this does not move into the leg.

In case of sciatic pain, it also depends on exactly which nerve fibers are injured...

Okay, he doesn't understand it all, but most of it. He's about to bury himself deeper in another article when he hears the bedroom door open. Gregor gets up from the couch, hiding the holopad under a sofa pillow.

„Hey Mesh'la!“

You smile at Gregor, then rubbing your eyes and ask, "You're up already? When did you get up?"

"An hour or two ago," he replies with a shrug.

You frown. He is lying, he's up much longer than just one or two hours, you can feel it.

"That's early, why didn't you lie down with me?"

You can see he is coming up with a lie, he is the worst liar, you always see when he tries it.

"Um, I was a little restless"

You don't want to upset or expose him, so you nod slowly. You know he's cooked up something again, but it's usually loving things he comes up with, so you let him get away with this little white lie.

He gently takes your hand and leads you to the dining table.

"I've already prepared a little something for breakfast," he says enthusiastically.

A smile graces your lips.

"Oh yeah?"

Gregor sets the table, he's actually prepared a lot, enough for four people and plenty of choices. You blink in surprise.

"I didn't have that much in the house. Have you been shopping?"

He smiles, unperturbed, and says, "Yeah, filled your fridge. I thought after you weren't feeling so well last night, I'd do it for you."

You sigh softly, touched and a little annoyed with yourself. By now Gregor saw through it far too quickly when you were in pain again. But some days it was so bad that you could hardly hide it.

"That's very sweet of you, Gregor, but it wasn't necessary."

He looks at you seriously, "But it was necessary, you hardly had anything left, and I like to do it for you. I wish you would tell me more often when you need something."

You shrug your shoulders and say, "I can also order things to the house".

Gregor leans over to you and gently kisses your cheek.

"You could, but you have me, Cyare," he replies with a smile.

"You're incredibly cute."

He chuckled, showing you a small smirk.

"Indeed I am"

After breakfast, Gregor cleans up everything. He insists you freshen up and relax. You do him the favor, as he pushes you into the bathroom, spreading kisses on your neck. How could you resist his sweet ways? He runs you a hot bath and calls out as he hurries back to the kitchen, "I'll be right with you!"

In fact, it doesn't take long, the bath is just full and you carefully step into the hot water as he enters. He chuckles and lets out a whistle.

"Oh, mesh'la! Almost forgot how beautiful you are under your clothes!"

You say, laughing, "You did see me last night".

"I have a very short memory" he jokes.

Gregor takes one of your bath sponges and begins to wash you very gently while you sit back and relax.

"You spoil me, Gregor".

"So? That's something nice"

You sigh softly, you want to enjoy this, a lot, but you also want him to know that you can take care of yourself.

"Gregor"

"Hmm?"

"You know I'm not helpless, don't you?"

He looks at you, frowning.

"Of course I know that. Now, what makes you think of that?"

"Every time you're here, you shop for me, you cook, you clean, and.... now you even wash me. You know, I can do these things myself, just sometimes not as fast as you, or right away."

Now Gregor sighs softly. He seems to have something on his mind, you can see it in his face, something is bothering him. When he starts to speak, you almost hold your breath, somehow you are afraid he will say something negative. But he surprises you again.

"I do all these things so that you can see that I can take care of you."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out something, a small box. Your heart almost stops. As he opens the box, you see the beautiful ring inside and finally hold your breath after all.

"Gregor..." you say almost in a whisper.

"I always want to be there for you. I do all these things for you at any time, you are the most important person in my life. It's important to me that you understand that I understand your situation, that I can deal with it, and that I'm always happy to lend you a hand."

You swallow and look up from the ring into his beautiful face.

He chuckles again and says, "I didn't know when and how to ask you, I had thought of a thousand things but, I can't wait anymore. Since I've been wanting to ask you, all I can think about is your answer, and it's starting to drive me crazy"

"Yes"

"What?" he asks, puzzled.

"I say yes, I want to spend my life with you" you say almost breathlessly.

Gregor beams all over his face. He is a little shaky as he puts the ring on you.

"It's beautiful," you say dreamily, looking at your hand.

"Then it suits you perfectly," Gregor remarks.

You laugh and kiss his chin as he leans toward you.

"Mesh'la?"

"Yes?"

"Do you have any room in this tub for me?"

You smirk and say, "Always."

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@puppetswithteeth

@palliateclaws

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

[roamingtigress]

When the van der Linde fam get together for bounty hunting and other things that can result in some excitement, things can as you expect, generally involve epic chaos.

Things that actually happened in their New Austin outing -

(I'm splitting the screenshots involving the lulz v the epic cavalry charges and general yeehaw (though some of those are lulzy); I'd love if it they added tack to the bodyguards for more immersion but the tack-lessness of it amuses me with the absurdness of it all)

-Against my better judgment, after Dutch got Legend at a nice gallop, I hit Cinematic Mode when there was a bounty that didn't have a waypoint and I didn't create one, I just wanted to see if anything came of it. The scene that commenced included epic scenes of a calvary charge; all looked well for a bit as they actually were heading towards the bounty's direction (I've never done this with my 'legal' RDO character so idk if it was something in the RDO mechanics that I've never tried or Dutch's AI which is a little weird). The bounty's location was on a train. However, Dutch logically thought that the bounty's location was . . . A cliff, as seen. Hosea isn't seen in that shot as he was on the ground and likely fuming.

-They eventually did get their bounty but hitting the space button for the first time resulted in Dutch hitting the rail of the train; during the second time, poor Legend tripped over a pebble, causing a horse and people pileup within the family, resulting in Dutch squawking 'nOt AgAin (because that means it's happened before), third time was a charm. Good boah, here's your star.

-During an epic gun battle during the other bounty, Dutch's arm glitched at such a convenient time (I'm going to call this glitch Arm Lumbago; it's serious), leaving the rest of the family to do the shooting (Dutch did take out some enemies with a wicked pistol whip so he wasn't completely useless here), and one of the boys (I'm just going to randomly blame Marston), shot the target while Arthur and Hosea also shot it. I think they were already dead, boys.

-While Dutch turned in the bounty, there was suddenly an outbreak of gunfire. Hosea, Arthur and Johnny Marston were engaged in a battle with the lawmen, for whatever the reason. Arthur pointed his gun at a building. At one point Hosea pointed his gun at Marston, leading me to believe Marston was responsible again. DAMN CHILD.

(feat. my Mustang mare, Legend, who truly is a legend who puts up with so much crap involving the mustached idiot (<3) that we must all protect at all costs)

[tricornonthecob]

I got nothing clever

LK 105: Not gonna let 'em catch the midnight rider

(pt1)(pt2)(pt3)(pt4)

why is she dictating while writing? Does she do that every time I wonder if it gets annoying.

The way the VA says "backgrounds" makes me wonder if she's Canadian or just having a real hard time with RP. Which also makes me wish they had made the colonists have a more reconstructed accent like they did in Turn because that piratey-ass accent is delightful and I can just imagine James with it, but also calls water "wooder."

I wonder where the budget for this episode went.

You got some marmite to spread on those words 'cuz you're probably gonna eat them.

We finally get a good view of this chair, it has been bothering me for like 4 episodes. Also are those drawers in the wall??? I love them.

James there was probably a better way you could have done that. Do you have a thing for coming up behind her and muffling her mouth.

Sarah you can't just give the excitable beagle/great dane mix of a boy ideas.

"I've made a terrible mistake."

They're kinna giving "Guy from Super Solvers: Midnight Rescue" vibes.

The Chaos Crew is primed and ready for poorly-thought out decision making, also what the fuck is James' face doing here.

that is a MASSIVE STACK OF POSTERS jfc.

Stupid headcanon that I spun from this: "oh my god the really pretty smart girl is doing chaos with me?? She wants to do chaos with me??? To protecc the journalism???? With me????? :) "

"right... gotta - uh - gotta look Capable. Focused. Intimidating."

man the Super Solvers sure are twitchy tonight.

HIS LUMBAGO

and in this moment they all turned into clueless golden retrievers with their heads cocked to one side. Even Henri's brain cell isn't at 100 tonight.

Unlikely, but you never gonna catch Spy!Henri sleepin'.

He's holding back so much exasperated sass right now. Exsassperated.

Oh that's right, Moses is a spy, too

Translation: rich fuckers

They're good at what they do, Henri, keep up.

He smells danger, like a shark smells blood in the water.

...well, actually, nobody said that, Sarah.

I'm sorry I'm not sorry.

[superstarfighter]

TW: pain, lumbago

Thursday, October 5th 2023

So once again I've had lumbago and I am much too young for the number of cases I've had lumbago*, which is 5. Indeed, I hope most people won't experience even a single one their whole lives.

The pain killers are kicking in and I should get moving (going for a walk would be good), but as I got up, I felt nauseous and dizzy. I already spent half an hour on the mat today and stretched but fuck me– it's a pain once the meds wear off.

I took the last dosage of the muscle relaxants I got and wish me luck my muscles won't cramp up again.

So I guess I'll stay on the couch, laying flat? Yesterday I felt so much better.

*fun fact: The German word is Hexenschuss, which translates to sting of a witch since the pain usually comes all of a sudden.

Not so fun fact: 6 days ago(last friday) I was crawling and in tears when I got back from the toilet and I barely drank 500 ml all day to avoid going in the first place. I've never felt such pain before.

[tombeane-blog]

Trying To Get Objectified

Lethargy  - the quality or state of being drowsy and dull, listless and unenergetic, or indifferent and lazy; apathetic or sluggish inactivity. 

Synonyms: Hebetude, Languor, Lassitude, Listlessness, Stupor, Torpor 

I've been feeling some or all of the above for a while now.

I don't seem to be progressing in my workouts. I've got tons of around-the-house projects waiting while I sit here in my underground bunker thinking, "Yeah, I'll get to that tomorrow". 

If I sit and read for more than 15 minutes, I doze off.  

What is wrong?  Is this just the normal result of being excessively mature?  Or, maybe it was caused by sitting in my living room for two years waiting for the Pandemic to end?  Could be I've just forgotten how to get started.

Or is it a lifetime of suppressed laziness building up and finally coming out of the closet?  Naah, I never suppressed it.

Is there something that can cure me of whatever it is?

Of course! There must be!  After all.....SCIENCE!

I need to find a simple solution to a simple problem.  I need a sound bite kinda diagnostication and I need a pill or a shot or a food I already like that will fix me up so I can avoid any hard rehabilitational regimen.

So I do what all of us do these days - I go on The Google and I self diagnose the hell out of my symptoms.

At first I was overwhelmed as I discovered that low energy and languor can be caused by thousands of physical and chemical abnormalities in the body.  

Even worse, every medical prescription, every over-the counter pill and every food known to man, seems to list low energy and lingering lassitude as a 'side effect'.

Burrowing up to my armpits into the Internet dumpster of data, I began to see a pattern emerge, a cause common, a singular connection to all men of my maturity.  

Testosterone! 

Voila!  Apparently every old guy on the planet has low testosterone.  And common symptoms are - you guessed it - all of mine.  It's just that simple.  A little testosterone supplement once a day and I'm cured.  

I'll be outrunning my dog in no time.  

And then I all of a sudden I started noticing all the ads on TV about old guys with my symptoms - getting their zip back.  

(turning up the volume)"You too can once again run the 100 yard dash!"  "Look at the muscles on that old guy!" "He's skateboarding!  He's having fun again!  He's laughing!  His teeth are white!  He's flexing!"  "The ladies looove him!"

There were thousands of cures being advertised that I had never noticed before(damn that fast forward function) and all were guaranteed to work.  But which one should I take?  

Each had their own negative side effects - up to and including dismemberment, dilated duodenum, digitalis and death.  

Plus, I had to avoid any and all pills or placebos that would interfere with any of the other 400 substances my doctor forces me to take(even though my hair still hasn't grown back).

Damn.  Looks like I'm gonna have to go see my doctor.  Even if it is obvious to me that my testosterone level must be low.  I'm almost 80 years old for cripes sake.  

So.... I'll just get her to verify my way-too-low testosterone and then she will happily prescribe some shot or pill or whatnot and......"Look Out World!" I'm 20 years old again.

Doctor:

(sighing) "So what's the problem this time?"

"Well doc, it's low energy, a pronounced hebedutinability, and, the construction ladies don't whistle and objectify me when I walk by."

"Could be a lot of things."

"Yeah but I been doing some Googling and it's pretty clear my testosterone must be too low."

"Could be a lot of things."

"Yeah but I was thinking that you could check my T-level (medical lingo) and then you could hook me up with a medically miraculous supplement or two."

"If I up your testosterone levels, it could screw up your heart, kidneys, liver, lungs, lumbago and maybe even accelerate your hair loss - there's still a little left on the sides."

"So let's check other things, like Potassium and Iron and such - as well as your testosterone levels."  

"And, we might as well see if your heart is pumping enough oxygen - which could do it also. Then let's see where it takes us."

Four days later:

"Well doc, what do all the tests say?"

"Everything is perfectly normal.  Not even one test is out of range.  And your heart is as healthy as an 80 year old horse."

"Even your testosterone level is in the high end of normal.  It's not even close to low so maybe there's a different reason you aren't being objectified."

(mumbling)"Yeah, maybe it's the hair situation thankyouverymuchfornotfixing."

"So what now doc?  Where do we go from here?  More tests?  What's the plan?"

"My diagnosis is that you are old and you are lazy.  Shut up and deal with it."

[still-we-rise]

I was tagged by absolutely lovely @charlottesiine @sirlewismybeloved and @bahrain-lights thank you so much 💖💖💖

Favourite Color -> Black and purple. I love them separately and I love them combined <3

Currently Reading -> Re-reading Altered Carbon to experience this masterpiece once again, this book is just so amazing. My absolute fave

Last Song -> Hear Me Now by Bad Wolves (because I may have a video with it incoming... 👀)

Last Movie -> Oh my, when was the last time I had the time and energy to watch a movie? 😅 I think the last one I watched was actually Kung fu Panda 2 (for the sake of childchood memories, don't judge me, also this movie is amazing)

Last Series -> Sons of Anarchy

Sweet, Savoury or Spicey -> Sweet or savoury depending purely on my mood, spicey is a no no

Cravings -> A moment of fucking peace would be nice

Tea or Coffee -> More espresso less depresso that's what I always say

Currenty Working On -> A fanvid and a fic, the first one sparks joy, the second one does not spark joy *opens google doc and cries*

everyone already done this because i'm always late to everything pls feel tagged if you wanna do it and yes this is a threat

[reddeadreference]

Blog Progress Update - (Travel Blog Style 😎 #3)

Robbed a homestead with Javier and went hunting with Charles so life has gotten more exciting now that they're back in camp.

On the way back to camp after hunting, Arthur ran into a man we'd never even seen before (I'm on PS4 and it was previously a PC exclusive Stranger Mission) so now Arthur is collecting herbs for our new friend. (Damn I wish I could just nibble a flower and get rid of my lumbago.. Fun Fact: Lumbago is just an old timey way of saying lower back pain.)

Hang on a second… when did we tell this man our name? When did we learn his name? Is my ADD that bad? I'm sorry Arthur I've given you my ADD.

Got back to camp and Lenny immediately asked if Arthur was okay. Heard Grimshaw yelling at Mary-Beth and Dutch sounded mad at Hosea and I don't wanna be here anymore.

We're taking the photos we need and Arthur's going to go… listen to Javier play the guitar apparently. Very soothing. He stops every now and then… not sure if it's him being uneasy about Arthur staring for 5 minutes or if he's thinking up the song as he goes. John is annoyed that we're ignoring him.

Arthur wishes he could sit down. He does not understand why he cannot.

Hosea was teaching Jack to read and Abigail got mad at us for some reason. Meanwhile Lenny and Dutch were debating Evelyn Miller again. Why can't conversations happen one. At. A. Time. Arthur can only eavesdrop from so far away!

Played Poker with Lenny, Uncle, and Pearson. Pearson bust then Uncle so it was just Arthur and Lenny mah boi! (Damn that kid can play cards… almost had me a few times.)

Hung around camp longer than intended but got a lot of photos.

Went to Valentine to buy a new gun and bait for hunting then went out to get some legendaries to get some trinkets/talismans and to start getting the stuff needed for camp decorations and bags.

Wrote down everything we need like a giant shopping list. And we're off!... after I transfer 785 screenshots to my computer via USB. *Insert gif of Arthur looking confused and concerned from the pig farm*

—

I'm going to get more photos of places like Annesburg, Rhodes, etc. while I'm out hunting to finish up any posts that are missing photos.

I'm going to need to do part of John's mission to see Sean at all cause he's not at camp and I'll have to do Micah's too when that pops up.

–

Went looking for the Buck first. Found a Native Burial site… at night… creepy sounds so a quick sketch and we were outta there. Couldn't find the Buck cause bounty hunters kept showing up so Arthur got some stuff to sell to hopefully pay it off.

Had to sell stuff in Strawberry.. no one recognized Arthur...

Learned you can't use the stagecoach when you have a bounty so he had to ride ALL the way to the fence to sell enough stuff to pay off the damn bounty so he could hunt without bounty hunters chasing us down

Saw a man shoot himself in the foot outside the Strawberry post office… lost the foot-age of it though. Hehe puns…

Didn't have enough to pay off the bounty still so Arthur decided to go somewhere the little voice in his head said there would be gold bars.

Raced a man on the way there and won!

After making Arthur stare at stone junk for too long we solved the puzzle. Heard a woman scream but Arthur refused to RUN out the cave so I have no idea who it was or what happened.

Found a Hobbit Home nearby.

Went to the fence, got $1500, went on a little shopping spree before going out hunting again after finding the Buck and getting a trinket made.

Arthur isn't ashamed to admit he got chased onto a rock by an ox (that proceeded to lay down and so Arthur stayed up on the rock for a while. Good chance to get some journaling done)

He was also chased by a very persistent muskrat that wasn't deterred even when Arthur got on his horse. Arthur didn't wanna kill the muskrat so he had to wait until his horse wouldn't trample it.

Dropped off a bunch of pelts to Pearson to get some things made for camp. Two more boar pelts and John can have a new rug.

While trying to listen to Javier play his guitar, Pearson sits down next to Arthur and just starts playing his accordion. Rude.

Heard a few camp stories from Hosea.

Heard Susan and Karen singing, kinda getting along. Discovered Charles plays the harmonica.

Also discovered when everyone gets up in the morning and who does what chores.

Gonna go get Pearson a compass and some exterior shots of the Braithwaite's place. Might get some of the Grey's Hall thing too.

Music in that area at night is freaky.

Found Williams camp but no William. Hope he's okay.

Four guys tried to rob Arthur but he took them out before they could finish the sentence. Took out some Lemoyne Raiders, popped by Clement's Point. Got the Legendary Coyote. Back to camp for more stories.

On the road again… hm hm hm hm hm road again~

To the bayou

Found the house of the you-know-what, I don't even care about the honor loss, I needed shots of inside his house and it was the only safe way. I know something Arthur doesn't and I refuse to let him find out.

While hunting boar, found 2 perfect but could only get one as a man fell off a horse and I had to take him to the doctor… in Saint fricken Denis. Met Lillian in the saloon. She's a character alright and she would not get along with Dutch.

Every time I try to get a perfect boar pelt someone needs my help. I've met so many freaking strangers but I finally got John a rug.

Went back out to see Arthur's friend Albert.

Found a house with a lady who thought I was there to drop off loot, took the shotgun out of the case BUT Arthur left it in the basement… trying to be slick. Didn't work. She accused us of stealing anyway. We took the Donkey outside so she couldn't tell on us.

Took out all the O'Driscolls at Hanging Dog Ranch. By. Himself.

Was gone maybe 2-3 days total.

Return to camp to have Dutch come up and complain we haven't put any money in the box or anything.

Arthur proceeded to have table covers made from the Pronghorn he brought back and dropped another $100 in the box. Like he did three days before.

No one in this camp appreciate us… if we weren't trying to upgrade camp decorations we wouldn't come back until someone brought us back…

Enjoyed Charles playing the Harmonica with Grimshaw singing (this game amazes me with how many things I haven't seen before.)

—

Think I have enough to get most, if not all, of Annesburg and Van Horn done. I keep forgetting/find I'm missing something to finish the outskirts of Saint Denis but I should have it all now. I also have enough for Strawberry, Lagras, and Lakay. I've gotten a lot of surrounding smaller locations of a lot of the map. (Gonna make a map of each area (( Amberino, New Hanover, etc.)) with numbered locations and do similar posts like I did for Saint Denis and if people want more details then each place would get their own post. Big towns would be their own number as the map would be for smaller locations.)

[theangrypokemaniac]

You can see where these things are going:

Seems strange for Ash to catch a Johto Pokémon like Gligar...

Aipom followed Ash to Sinnoh...

Because they have Ambipom.

This hasn't happened recently, both because Unova, Kalos and Alola have no new evolutions, and as nothing before them exists.

But they want to promote Gliscor.

And the same for Dawn getting Swinub...

Which is a means to an end for Mamoswine.

That's why Piloswine lasted about one episode. He was but a stepping stone to the desired destination.

Funny they've suddenly taken an interest in Mr. Mime after all these generations, eh?

The animation on this show is quality art.

Remember Mr. Mime when he used to do actual housework, rather merely pretending as much?

I ain't surprised Ash's mom kicked 'im out if he's taken to twatting about with that routine, no longer earning his keep.

Yer don't need them eyes.

The official reason has Dame Ketchum sending Mimie along to watch her boy, even though he's within visiting distance for a change.

Apparently, all the erased journeys Ash had on the road, sleeping rough, foraging for food, eking out whatever meagre winnings he obtained, were of no concern to her.

But now he's got stable living quarters, now she's alarmed for his welfare.

Must be bunking with a creep like Cuckoo that suddenly got Ma worried about him shacking up with another professor.

Ah well, as a femme sole once more, I suppose it's an excuse to restart her morning drinking club.

Already quite far gone in the booze pool by the deranged look in her fish eyes.

Unless it's already taken place at the time of posting, the only possible justification for the sudden interest in Mimie is a plan to make use of him.

At some point, he'll accompany Ash and Go-Go on a Galar jaunt, whereupon he may well evolve.

Yeah. It's that magic Galar air found nowhere else that'll do for him.

And if so, what happens then?

Galar aberrations can not exist elsewhere, otherwise Mimie would've changed by now.

He may thus be left behind in some contrivance.

Pokémon on the verge of exit always become a focus for the writers. It's one last chance to wring out the few final drops of exploitation before giving 'em the sack.

Well when the lad comes back sans Mime, I hope his mother puts him over her knee in punishment.

You let the slave escape, yer little bastard! Now she's gotta do all the cleaning herself!

You'll drive her to an early grave, you will!

And who's keeping Delia company then? Yer just gonna leave her to the mercy of the sauce?

Bloody irresponsible. Gin was dubbed 'Mother's Ruin' for a reason.

Not that I'm certain a normal Mr. Mime can become Mr. Rime, although if they can't we're in a fine mess trying to catch 'em all come Gen. 9 and beyond.

What's this then?

• Bowler hat?

• Poirot moustache?

• Icicle walking stick?

He's old, man!

Old as the hills!

Can you see him hanging round Chéz Ketchum in this condition?

Forever?

Even when Galar is forgotten like all the rest and no longer requires promoting?

As if. A modern addition soon becomes a worn-out relic surplus to requirements once the next region shows up.

It'll be curtains for yer then, Rimie.

How will he occupy himself otherwise? No strenuous activity with lumbago, I can tell you.

Yer think the Dame's gonna be pleased with the results?

Every night, she'll wake up, unnerved at sensing a presence, roll over, and there, in the corner, will be Mr. Rime's deformed clown face belly peering from the shadows.

Giving her bloody nightmares, man!

If she wasn't an alky before she certainly will be after this.

'Rime' is hoar frost. His inexplicable conversion to Ice is presumably referenced by the sudden addition of years, hence the need for a cane.

Yer can't do miming if unable to stand up unaided!

What's he to do then? Not...he won't rhyme will he?

He won't start rapping in substitute?

Oh, I've lived too long.

[daredussy]

Uncle: I got lumbago

Arthur: yeah well I've got tuberculosis

Uncle: weird flex but okay

[semidailydongio]

Sorry, guys. I've got lumbago.

[theangrypokemaniac]

Doctor Zhivago bumps into Team Anorexia emerging from their grotty drugs den, a void in space where sunlight goes to die.

Look at the state of that glass monstrosity.

If you want a service done properly, you gotta go to the Mafia, as proven by this far superior model installed the Boss at his theme park.

Not only is one afforded complete privacy, rather than shameful exposure, this is a quality piece of workmanship, for Giovanni understands the destructive urges of the underclass.

The reason why public telephones became obsolete is nothing to do with The Coming Of The Mobile.

It's because B.T. started replacing all the sturdy red boxes with glass cubicles.

Yeah, glass. That went down well on a council estate.

And when they weren't smashed, opening the door unleashed a piss tsunami.

The point of this scene is Chicago claiming not to know what a phone box is, for we're intended to find this hilarious, because this is what passes for humour these days.

This. As in:

Ha-bloody-ha! Team Rocket are so old!

Well yeah. I've been saying something similar for quite a while now. Nice to finally have it confirmed.

Polyester fashion is so becoming.

You mean that's why they're so physically repulsive?

Has Father Time come a-creepin', and sliced through the mugs on 'em?

Memories!

I doubt it, somehow. We aren't meant to notice the colossal decline in quality.

We either pretend it still looks this way, or that's it's always been scraping the barrel.

What's the message here, then?

• Ash has been ageing all this time, but he's got problems with his glands, and that's why he don't grow?

• Only Team Rocket have withered and so, where once seven years older than Ash -

DUH TWENNYFYVE!!!

- They're now his seniors by at least two decades?

• Ash was born a decade back, and none of the previous series happened, except for the Nostalgia Episode, when they somehow suddenly did?

Go-Fund-Me's the problem.

He's as thick as a brick.

I don't recall folk using smoke signals or pigeons to communicate, but I'm aware of the concept.

The idea that it's somehow understandable, even acceptable, for Lumbago not to know simple facts about the past, is the excuse bonehead Millennials and Gen. Zeds deploy to justify their own self-obsessed ignorance.

Yeah, because who cares about 99.9% of human history? Come on, it didn't have ME, so can't really matter.

Such a 'joke' relies on the audience recognising a phone box, in order to see the 'humour' of a supposedly younger generation not.

We therefore have a situation where:

• Team Rocket know what a phone box is

• Ash knows what a phone box is

• We know what a phone box is

But slack-gobbed Trivago doesn't.

Well he's a fookin' imbecile then, i'n't he?

If yer going down this route, yer'd best be consistent, else I'm gonna bollock yer for it otherwise.

During Best Friend...Worst Nightmare! we get a shocking insight into the hedonistic yoof of Chloë's party-animal parents.

Tore the place apart, they did. Bloody adrenaline junkies.

From the dishevelled looks of 'em today, styewdunt tomfoolery were nigh-on forty year ago.

And what's that on the table?

Fookin' OiPad!

Yeah, so Apple technology has existed all this time, the animators just decided not to include it until invented in real life, for fear our minds would blow.

Of course they did.

Makes you wonder why locals bothered why these cumbersome landlines if Saint Steve Jobs Who Was Too Good For This World had already kissed the universe with his supreme creation.

Look children: wires!

And buttons! Buttons on a phone!

Crazy days!

Now last time I looked, Ash has been ten years old since the Nineties, thus was born in the Eighties.

Note the fact that Professor Oak is younger and thinner here than in the retcon of earlier history.

See what I mean? Baggy-arsed, mummified, old cadaverous gummo.

And what do we learn from the opening Galar episode?

GOH IS THE SAME AGE AS ASH!!!

GOH WAS BORN IN THE EIGHTIES TOO!!!

GOH HAS BEEN KEPT BACK AT SCHOOL FOR TWENTY YEARS!!!

Never mind phone boxes, bitch remembers big mobiles and filo faxes.