#iaw anonymous

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Can I ask you what makes you think harry and Louis are still together? I haven’t been in the fandom for years, I really don’t know what’s going on with any of the boys.

I’m going to take this question in good faith, but I’m going to close the discussion after I answer it because I’m really not in the business of convincing people about Larry and I don’t want to go back and forth. I’m also not a discourse blog, and don’t want to engage in discourse any further than this.

Honestly, I don’t think my answer is what you’re looking for, but again, I’m not here to convince anyone.

The plain answer is: I think Larry are together because I believe in long-term love. I know for a lot of you, that’s not a satisfactory answer, because it’s not rooted in consistent physical proof, but it’s a realistic answer, and in my case, it’s the truth.

I’m at the age now where my friends have been married for about three to five years on average, and I’m starting to see firsthand the way love evolves with lifetime commitment. It does evolve. It becomes quieter - not something you constantly post on social media or talk about at every girls’ night. It’s less focused on romance - your energy goes into building your life together, instead of basking in the valentine of it all. It comes with challenges and compromises - navigating extended families, aging parents and siblings, careers, dreams and goals that are constantly changing. And that makes you busy.

Too busy to fly back and forth, to spend every single holiday together, to share clothes and jewelry, to constantly signal, because instead, your energy goes into making sure you two are on the same page. Long term love - lifetime love - is not about other people and it’s not about what it looks like on the outside.

So, does it bother me that we hardly have any solid receipts? No. I think their love has evolved with their age and with their level of commitment, just like my own friends and their marriages. I think it’s imperfect, I think it has challenges, I think their relationship looks a lot different to them internally than it did in 2011 and so it makes sense to me that it looks different externally, also. If you add the fact that they’re both closeted public figures to that mix you have like seven other layers of complexity onto an already complex relationship.

I know it’s not tidy. I know it’s not a straightforward answer like the Umbro shirt or the complementary tattoos or Sweet Creature. I know it’s not the kind of proof we’d gotten used to depending on. But when you have very real examples in your life of people who love each other enough to say “it’s us forever, no matter what anyone says or how unconventional our relationship has to be to make it work”, it’s really easy to believe and to have faith, physical proof or no physical proof.

In the end, they really are just two humans who fell in love, so their relationship has its ebbs and flows like any other.

[draftingtides]

What's your iaw tag?

it stands for inside a whale! it's from a poem by tanya olsen, and it's the name of a fic series i'm planning to write about trans martin and nonbinary jon

[hyunjins]

What photo cards do you need to complete ur collection!!!

LKFJDSA i thought this was gonna be an ask about me not doing mc hyunjin from last week yet 🥵 but i need like six more i think? i do have quite a few trades pending, but the ones i don’t have at all are yellow border iaw, preorder iay, pink border iay, limited miroh, miroh logo, and then the yw behind one!! 

[hanjisungz-remade]

okay but the most important question here is: who did your mom like the most? 👀

you mean which group ??? she liked ateez the most 😶 but she loved skz as well as oneus a lot !!! also she had her favorites in each group 🙇🏻‍♀️

[jestbee]

My one word prediction for next IAW chapter: Omegaverse!

Hmm, interesting! 

Anyone else have predictions for what they think the next chapter could be?

[actualbabe]

when will new lawyer au stuff come up? i'm DEPRIVED and in love with this fic

hey anon! i’m currently finishing up my last paper of the semester- and after that i’ll be free to work on fic over the summer! but here’s a sneak peek to tide you over:

The line at the courthouse coffee stand is obscenely long given how shitty the coffee is, but Nick was up all night preparing for this testimony, and he’d drink dirty dish water if it had enough caffeine in it. He stands in line and mulls on the latest pumpkin-flavored monstrosity and how kids today can’t just drink coffee black and simple, the way it was made to be consumed, when someone taps him on the shoulder. Nick turns around, tired, confused, and ready to yell at the poor son of a bitch who thought it was a good idea to pick a fight with him at 6am.

“Hey, pal, the line ain’t moving, so you can calm-” Nick starts before recognizing the man in a mustard yellow suit standing behind him. “Tran!”

Tran smiles his signature closed-mouth grin and gives Nick a little nod.

“Come here, man.” Nick opens up his arms and pulls the older man into a hug, slapping him on the shoulder.

Nick first met Tran when he was still in law school. It was the summer after his 1L, back when he was still starry-eyed and optimistic about the legal profession and thought he could change the world by going into employment or environmental law. He got a legal internship at Tran’s firm, just doing basic paper pushing, but the experience was one that he would never forget. Tran was a man of few words, and exactly the kind of lawyer Nick had wanted to be. His clients were the underdogs, the people who had been wronged by big corporations and deserved help. Nick would’ve been content spending most of his time making copies and going on coffee runs, but Tran had gone out of his way to involve Nick in the firm. Tran had become his advisor and best friend, and for the first time Nick thought he might actually enjoy being a lawyer.

But after Nick went back to school he fell out of contact with Tran. Nick’s never been very good about staying connected to people he doesn’t see regularly. Caroline started to push him to start thinking more critically about his future, pulling out statistics like the employment rate and median earnings of employment lawyers while making passive-aggressive comments about just how expensive law school was. Nick started to look around at his classmates, stuffy-headed fancy boys who wanted to go into corporate law and make millions. He lost touch with the reason he went to law school in the first place, and it wasn’t long before he hated everything about who he was becoming.

Then Caroline got pregnant, and the rest is history. Nick applied to a few firms where he could specialize in the kind of legal work he was actually interested in, but they paid pennies in comparison to what the bigger and more prestigious firms like Meriwether and Associates offered. The choice was clear, and with Caroline and Abbi depending on him, he had to follow the money.

[logriteasvie1982]

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[indiaalphawhiskey]

Oh India, reading your tags for the latest post about Louis´ sexuality -

I think of everyone Louis was the most comfortable with himself the earliest and that confidence is a big part of why *Harry* is the way he is having someone like Louis love and accept you for everything you are so early in life would change anyone and make them confident

Preach!!! I mean I´m not here for that long but I immediately understood that it was Louis, Louis and only Louis who made Harry the way he is now and the way he represent himself, the way he´s comfortable with himself and having confidence to bring some of his most bold and extravagant looks. Because Louis always encouraged him to do it. From encouraging him to paint his nails, to wear a dress if he wants to or that he would look nice even with shaved hair. It just makes me mad that noone *couch couch harries couch couch* knows it by now. He´s the most supportive boyfriend everyone would wish to have tbh.

Honestly, I believe this down to my bones.

As someone who has battled insecurity her whole life, and has Louises in her life, I’m so acutely aware of how that one friend can change your outlook on yourself so completely just by showing up for you and really being like “I love you for everything you are. You can be as weird as you like.”

And that’s platonic love. I cannot imagine the power of having that in a romantic partner and at sixteen no less. That’s the kind of love that makes you invincible, especially if you’re naturally offbeat (which Harry clearly has always been, bless his goober heart). It could have easily gone the other way without that kind of unconditional support and love — really, really easily too, considering management and the pressure Harry was under as a “heartthrob”.

I think what’s especially amazing is Louis was saying things like “just do the whole nail, for God’s sake!” in the early 2010’s, when there was almost zero mainstream conversation about gender expression, and people were still saying shit like “no homo”. And he was saying that at eighteen or nineteen — usually an extremely impressionable age to perform traditional masculinity particularly when surrounded by boys and constantly under public scrutiny.

Thinking about it with that level of nuance and hindsight, you can clearly see that Louis’ confidence and encouragement and love was absolutely extraordinary and waaaaaaaay more mature for, not only his age group, but the time.

In conclusion, Louis is just fucking wonderful, thanks.

Related to this.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

I see you and Gina have been flooded with annoying antis who think they can convince us that they aren't together anymore, but honey! I do not care! First there are real world problems going on so trying to find out if they're still together has been on the back burner for me. But also, I've been a larrie for so long that I've reached the plane of existence where antis can't reach me. I truly believe they're still together. So what if I'm wrong? I'm going to get sued? Who cares! And if I'm not wrong, then I hope Harry's getting pregnant again soon <3 I just have no energy to convince other people what I believe in. I just surround myself with other like minded larries and mind my business. And that's unfathomable for antis who can't believe their faves are gay.

Honestly, I know antis love to convince themselves that if definitive proof ever came out that Larry wasn’t real, that all Larries would go into an existential life crisis and forget how to function until all that was left of us was a twitching puddle of tears on the floor.

But in all seriousness, if Larry ever turns out not be real, here are the very real things I’d have gained from this fandom anyway:

Two of my very best, very real, and life long friends (amongst all the others, of course)

The knowledge that I want to be a writer

12 complete literary works that prove I can be a writer + the kudos, hits, and comments to prove my work means something to at least one other person

Approximately 223577895 iterations of my favorite people as semi-fictional characters that fall in love over and over again

The knowledge that there are people, however “delusional”, who will not ask you to water down your passions to a palatable level

The knowledge that there are people, however “resistant to ‘the facts’” that will support and have the back of closeted queer artists for most of, if not their entire, career, however heartbreaking and painful the journey, when they truly have nothing to gain from it

The persistent belief that true love is real and unshakable, however taxing

The knowledge that frivolous interests keep you alive and healthy (yes, even after 30! Shocker!)

And, my personal favorite:

Fucking JOY.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

India, why do some larries now believe H and L broke up and hooked up with others while being on a break/ breaking up? I see those asks almost everywhere.

The simple answer: most of those asks are trying to sow discord amongst larries and take the temperature of blogs to see where they can find someone to take the bait so they can attack the chink in the armor.

But, if you’re genuinely asking where the general ‘idea’ of a break/break up has come from, personally and from my experience in fandom, I think looking at certain periods of time in their life with the benefit of hindsight, it becomes easier to see when something shifted.

For me, it always struck a chord with me how adamantly Louis refuses to sing Miss You on tour, because of the way he talks about that song: it seems like it’s got some very painful memories attached to it.

I think it’s a little obstinate to insist they never once took time apart. That’s just not particularly realistic to me, considering the intensity of everything they’d gone through — extreme closeting, loss, hiatus, getting their solo careers off the ground, learning to tour without always being in each other’s back pocket, just growing up and changing. That kind of growth takes a lot out of any human, nevermind a human constantly in the spotlight.

And yes, while I personally know of couples who have weathered some pretty bad storms together without breaking up, it was not an easy feat, and it’s hard to expect that from anyone, especially in your early 20s.

It seems like, in this fandom, there’s only room for two schools of thought. Either, A) they have and have always had the perfect relationship and have never once thought of letting go, or B) they’re over and have been for a long time. Usually, like with everything in life, the truth lies somewhere in the middle.

Life is long and some of it is very hard, and sometimes love is enough and sometimes it isn’t, and sometimes you find your way back to each other, and sometimes you don’t. There’s no template, there’s no right way, there’s no instruction manual.

What do I believe? I believe they fell in love young, and it was the kind of love that fundamentally changed them and tied them together forever. I believe that if they parted ways, it was because they needed to grow and cope with some very harsh realities and in turn, figure out how to be better people and better partners. I believe they have found their way back to one another, and are currently trying to balance their goals as a couple with the limitations of their industries and the world.

Whether or not they hooked up with other people has never mattered and will never matter to me, because I will literally never know and therefore don’t care. Like I’ve said before, the only person who can decide what kind of love is “right” or “enough” for them is the person receiving that love. And in my opinion, they’ve both decided they’re ‘it’ for each other, whoever they are or aren’t, and whatever they have or haven’t done. And as someone who is simply observing that love from the outside, that’s enough for me.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

I wish Harry's management would lean more into the quirky angel-wings-wearing, 1D-shirt-selfie-taking, tipsily-men-cuddling side of Harry instead of the model-type-kissing version of whatever Harry Styles™ is supposed to be.

I’ve been thinking really hard about how to answer this thoughtfully and fairly, because I wholeheartedly agree with you. Stunts are useless to me, completely ineffective (even, clearly, to the GP) and diminish everything worth knowing about Harry.

What’s interesting though, is that in my deep frustration and disappointment about yet another unnecessary stunt, I bought My Body by EmRata on audiobook (I’m halfway through). And in the book, she says something really poignant:

“I wasn’t just famous; I was famously sexy.”

That quote has been haunting me all day because it explains Harry’s PR image so well. That one additional word is the key to understanding the ceaseless stunting circus HSHQ keeps putting us through.

See, Harry is a multitude of different, interesting, enigmatic, visionary things to us, his fans and even to the casual observer. But none of those things - not his talent, or his music, or his kindness - is what actually made him famous, or what set him apart from the 1D boys from the beginning. What made him famous, what made him different, what made him wanted, was his sex appeal - his brand and commodification as a sex symbol - which has been cultivated since he was sixteen (gross, I know. Very aware.)

And we can sit here and argue until we’re blue in the face about whether that’s something he does or doesn’t want, whether was pure marketing or something unique to him, or even how many other, more impressive, better, beautiful attributes he has and has developed since, that can and should be capitalized on.

But none of that is actually the point. The point is that this was always what his selling point was in the wider (albeit shallower) ocean that is entertainment. It’s his brand, like it or not, the way it was Marilyn Monroe’s brand, the way it’s EmRata’s brand, and you don’t keep the status of sex symbol by dating under-the-radar, interesting, talented people. You keep it by feeding it constantly, by reminding everyone of it whether they (or you) respond well or not, by remaining controversial and being linked to equally controversial PR personas. (E.g. Tom and Zendaya are cute as fuck and totally respectable. Their relationship is hardly ever in the headlines for more than 24 hrs, though, and neither are branded as a sex symbol per se.)

I’m not saying any of it is right, and a certainly don’t like it and very much wish it would stop. But sometimes, we have to look outward, and understand that things don’t live and die by the hand of fandom, as much as we wish they would; things don’t even live and die by the hand of good press.

I’m not saying don’t be frustrated or mad; I’m not saying accept it or don’t wish it would change. I’ve just found that finding a way to sit with it and understand that we (fandom) are not the audience and praise and respect aren’t necessarily the objective helps me gauge where my red lines are and what my sanity and longevity as a fan are really up against, especially when highlighting everything I don’t like seems like such a personal attack.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

fake title: almost tethered

💋 Almost Tethered

This was, by far, the longest and most awkward silence in the history of mankind, and yet, Louis couldn’t, for the life of him, think of a single thing to say.

Because, really, what was he supposed to say?

He knew fuck all about the man sitting casually on his chaise in a frieghteningly sexy brown duck jumper, except that he had been crazy enough to agree to a threesome with Louis and his fiancé to help spice up their already very extended engagement (that every single person they loved was still waiting for them to call off).

Well, okay, Louis didn’t know ‘fuck all’ exactly. He knew he had a face that was a little too pretty to be true (so much so that Louis had bet Robbie they were being catfished and was now down £20), that he was probably making an obscenely (heh) good living if his (surprisingly tasteful, only-strategically-posed-artful-nudes) OnlyFans page had anything to say about it, and that his actual real name was Harry Styles.

So, Louis knew some things (four, he knew a total of four things), none of which he could use to fill this rather excruciating silence. Lovely.

It didn’t help that Harry hadn’t said a thing to him either since walking through their door – not that he could have, what with the way Robbie had bulldozed through the introductions before swiftly exiting to make everyone martinis.

(“Do you even know how to make a martini?” Louis had asked as they were getting dressed that evening.

Robbie had waved off his very pressing concern. “I’ll Google it. Wine just seems a little too pedestrian for a threesome, you know?”)

Louis began to roll his eyes at the memory but quickly aborted the motion, worried Harry might think it was directed at him. He reverted back to their mutual staring, though, admittedly whilst Louis was sure his expression was similar to that of a frightened raccoon, Harry’s was painfully cool. Collected and poised. Almost serene. Unbothered.

His smirk was soft; green eyes kind yet still somewhat appraising. Louis supposed he couldn’t help it, given their, ah, agenda for the evening. He actually found himself hoping Harry liked what he saw.

Louis certainly did; found himself wondering if it would be appropriate to lick at the swallows tattooed on Harry’s collarbones, or if that was more of a second session kind of thing.

Would there be a second session? Likely not, since the entire point of doing this with a stranger was to avoid all the awkwardness afterwards. (Which said nothing of the awkwardness during.)

He was overthinking and needed to stop, immediately.

God, say something! Louis commanded himself, unable to remember the last time he blinked. As had become habit since his engagement, his hand drifted down to fiddle with the watch he wore with a fierce kind of loyalty on his right wrist. His mind drifted to three words hidden under the expensive leather strap – his accidental life mantra, bestowed upon him by fate.

He thought of how the curve of capital D swooped, how the N had always been a little crooked, how he had learned the cursive version of an S before he could even write or read.

How Robbie hadn’t said the words when they’d met.

How, because of that, his family thought this engagement had been doomed from the start.

How Harry still hadn’t said anythi—

“Don’t be nervous.”

Louis’ answer was automatic, almost involuntary, because he’d been saying it in mock response all his life. “I’m not.”

Needless to say, the next time Louis found himself staring awkwardly back at Harry Styles, it was not because of their impending threesome. It was because said third in their impending threesome had just uttered his soulmark.

— Or, there were a multitude of awkward ways to meet one’s soulmate. They could say your mark from the urinal next to you mid-wee at a funeral, or sneaking out of your flatmate’s bedroom after a one night stand, or trying to upsell the newest state-of-the-art dildo in their family-owned sex shop.

Still, Louis was pretty sure his version was the one that took the cake.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hi India. I feel really bad for asking this but I wondered if there is an explanation. I always see Larries say 'anyone but Louis' because if Harry is being romantically linked to men then Louis is always excluded when it's very obvious that something went on between Harry and Louis during 1D. Whether it's Harries or the odd time the media they never bring up Louis. So I always see this 'anyone but Louis'. But I noticed that Larries won't accept Harry with any man but Louis. They would prefer him to be straight than with a man who isn't Louis. Isn't this a similar thing? Anyone but Louis vs no one but Louis. Or am I missing a point? Thanks!

Um, it’s very late where I am, so I’m gonna try and be as coherent as possible.

Personally, I believe Harry and Louis are together, and have been for the last 13 years, and the reason I believe Harry has been with “no one but Louis” as you put it, is absolutely not because I would “rather Harry be straight than be with someone else”. It’s literally because I’ve never seen Harry (or Louis) look at anyone else the way they look at each other.

I say this, time and again: to me Larry isn’t a ship. Larry is not me playing with two dolls and making them kiss each other. Neither part of the couple is “swappable” with any other “character” no matter whether man or woman, no matter what level of attractiveness or wealth or fame, no matter how many pap pics are taken of them walking side by side shirtless and in silence or fake kissing next to a car or dancing on a yacht, because none of those things equate to being in love.

What convinced me of Larry isn’t the amount of time they spent together, or how handsome they both are, or what a cute couple they make (even though they are hella cute). It’s literally everything else. It’s their body language around each other, it’s Harry’s stupid little nose scrunch and how it’s disappeared now that they’re never seen together, it’s the way they always seem to reference the same documentaries and albums, is how they dance their little pointy-pointy victory dance that I’ve never seen anyone else do, its how they speak of England as home and LA as work, its the fact that their deep-seated values are so aligned, it’s the entire discography of songs that tell two perspectives of the same love story, it’s the way they describe success with insanely similar verbiage that you can imagine them discussing it laying next to each other in bed…

For me, it’s Harry for Louis and Louis for Harry not because I won’t accept anything else. It’s because I’ve never seen anyone else even come close to being on the receiving end of the way they look at each other. If I see either of them acting that way towards someone else, I’ll consider changing my mind.

I think what people don’t get is that this isn’t really a point of pride for me. I don’t ‘get anything’ by believing in Larry (in fact, there are many times I wish I could spare myself the heartbreak of knowing so much about celeb closeting and just forget about it) or by convincing other people to believe in them. I literally just believe it. And maybe one day there will be enough evidence to change my mind, and then I won’t believe it. It’s just… today’s not that day. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Interesting to read your takes, thank you for sharing! :) I used to see it too and once was so sure they are / were important to each other and are each others anchor point. Due to different reasons and life and observations, I don’t think so anymore. Still find it interesting to read different opinions on the matter! I’ve one question though, out of curiosity: “And as someone who is simply observing that love from the outside, that’s enough for me.” but what do you see? Cause you also say that you can and will never know if they’ve slept with other people. But you also can and will never know if they are still together? So what makes that difference for you? What makes you believe / see their love the past years? 🤍

Hi 🤍

I think we’ve come full circle, now. That’s my post on long-term love from two months ago that answers a similar question. (That I found on Reddit, which I’m not entirely comfortable with, but that’s the internet I guess.)

I know a lot of you want tangible answers, and I do have some: their discography tells two sides of a similar story in a way none of the other 1D boys do, they have a lot of the same language and mannerisms still, their take on defining success is scarily similar.

If it was just about friendship and the history they shared, that string would run through all the 1D boys (who have all, also, been in relatively long term relationships with other people whilst in and out of the band). It doesn’t. Those things are just things Harry and Louis share, between them; things that you presumably pick up from people you’re constantly around and spend copious amounts of time talking to, things you can’t control or be conscious of in the day to day.

None of that really matters though, because people can poke holes in anything, if they want to. I think what matters more is what someone’s intention is, when they call themselves a Larrie.

My intention is not to convince anyone into or out of any kind of belief. That’s not what I’m here for, and I get nothing out of being “right”. My intention is just to believe what I believe because frankly, two closeted gay boys falling in love whilst living in each other’s back pocket for five years, and continuing to be in love and faithful through life’s trails because they remain connected in everything from interests to goals to values and everything in between, is really not as farfetched a belief as people want you to think.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

what are your thoughts about Harry's new tattoo?

Hi darling.

I am not going to lie: I’ve been upset about it for three days now, swinging back and forth between being super angry and trying to be okay with it. I thought about not answering this, because I don’t want to open this Pandora’s box, but I decided to in the hopes that I can help someone else. I won’t be answering follow up questions/reactions, though. That’s my boundary.

Now, I think the important thing is to call this out for what it is and stop making excuses: it’s an Olivia tattoo, and whether it’s for a stunt, a cat, a house, the One Direction song, an unknown godchild, it doesn’t matter. He has it, he showed it off (rather purposefully), he knew what we would think and the kind of debate/restlessness it would spark.

Can I forgive him for that, point blank, without further reasoning or rationalizing? I’ve decided I can.

Why? Because I don’t think it negates all he’s given me these past thirteen years and especially this last leg of tour, and because I don’t think what he does for PR and/or to protect his closet is a statement about who he is as a human being. No one has to agree with me. It’s a decision I’ve made for myself and I’m happy with it. If this is your red line (and I fully encourage you to ask yourself this regularly) then that’s fine. Grieve the person you thought he was and take steps to distance yourself from what hurts you. I don’t mean to minimize this: walking away is hard as shit. But he will be okay, I promise. The person who needs to be okay the most is you.

Do I think they really dated/that he was in love with her? No.

Why? Because he looked miserable every time he was around her, because he took very clear steps to ensure she wasn’t tied to his music (which I’ve noticed he holds pretty sacred above all), and because at the end of the day he still broke up with her two days after his very public last contractual obligation was filled and kissed her friend extremely publicly.

Can you find ways to argue around that? Of course you can. You can find ways to argue around anything. But for me, that’s not how you treat someone you’re in love with even if they’ve pissed you off beyond belief and messed with your career. Nothing Harry has done outside of this stunt shows me he would treat people he cares about that way, even in his worst moments. It’s incongruous to everything I’ve seen and known of him and his character in the last thirteen years. I may not know him personally, and I may be wrong about him, but again, that’s my conclusion and I’m happy with it.

Do I think the tattoo means something’s in the works to rekindle the stunt? I truly don’t know.

But if it is, then it’s been planned for a long, long, long time (he had the tattoo during Daylight filming, which is May 2022; the BUA was Nov 2022), and there’s nothing I can do about it. It is what it is.

I’ve always preached being okay with not knowing, being okay with being uncomfortable, and this is certainly making me walk the talk.

The bottom line is: Am I okay with the things I have answers to? Yes.

Am I okay with the thing I don’t have answers to? I am working on it.

But that’s my responsibility, not Harry’s.

— FIN —

*thank you, Gina, for your contributions to clearing my head and for many of the phrases I used here to express myself.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Do you believe that Louis loves Harry more? Louis seems like someone who loves selflessly and puts himself aside.

I didn’t want to answer this, but I’m going to in the name of my younger self, who I think really needed to hear this.

I think the idea of “who loves who more” is immature and actually quite harmful, and I say that coming from a culture who so deeply ingrained in me the idea that heterosexual marriage would never work unless it was the man who was “so much more in love” with the woman. A lesson I’m actively trying to unlearn as I pursue relationships, because I finally figured out that love isn’t about power, and it’s certainly not about holding onto power for self-preservation. That’s the antithesis of real love. Real love is about true vulnerability, which requires power to be completely out of the conversation.

I think the only people who can decide whether the love they’re receiving is or isn’t enough, or is or isn’t given in the way they need, is the person receiving that love.

We all fall in love with different people for different reasons, and especially in long term relationships, we grow into and out of versions of ourselves constantly, and so the things we need and want evolve with us (and our lovers) over the course of our commitment. Because people outside our relationship aren’t privy to our romantic dynamic, much less our innermost thoughts, needs, and growth, they cannot decide what kind of love is “enough”, or “more”, or “less”, especially when they only know a public version of us.

That said, I don’t think either Louis or Harry loves one more than the other. I don’t think their relationship is about power, and it’s not about setting one person’s goals aside in favor of the other’s.

What I think is both you and I know nothing about what their goals are, personal or professional, and assuming selfishness and selflessness based on what little we know of how they choose to love each other and build their future is just an excuse to vilify one side of the relationship.

You’re more than welcome to do that (I can’t control you or how you think), just not on my blog or with my rubber stamp.