#ibeta plot

[ibeta]

Plot: Eat My Dust, Just Once

[stupid kustard titles]

Eat My Dust: 13,722 words

Just Once: 16,417 words

I still haven’t given it proper titles, but they do relate to the thing inside!

———

Eat My Dust Plot

Red falls in love with Sans, who seems to be a fan of human history, princes and mages, and a pair of daggers.

Sans has experienced that history. In fact, he was a very close part of it. But Red doesn't care if he's too old for him. He just really, really wants Sans.

So, of course, a trope hits where Sans has to go bye-bye and Red has to watch him die. Sans pieces some clues together and asks Red to eat his dust – and to tell Sans that he ate it. After some confusion and protests, Red agrees. Then he goes bye-bye as he wants to follow Sans into the next life... but he's back at the start of the day he first met Sans.

Then, after crying over Sans and telling him that Red ate his dust, Sans kisses him. Then things get way out of hand, they get together, and Red has to question what kind of password Sans had given him.

[Basically:

"eat my dust," Sans said.

"what the hell," exclaimed Red, "no way!"

Then Sans made sad noises.

"fine! okay!" Red agreed.]

———

Just Once Plot

Sans pines for Red, who is casual with intimate connections. Toriel, who knows that Sans has a crush on some mystery guy, tells Red of the secret. Now Red gets it in his skull to figure it out so his buddy can get laid and get over it.

However, Sans is a lockbox of secrets and won't tell him.

Since Red has no clue who it is, he offers up his body for intimate support in hopes that Sans will get his mystery crush out of his system. Maybe Sans can pretend he's the mystery crush so he can finally move on from years of yearning.

Sans turns him down so hard that Red can still see stars.

Unfortunately, the offering starts hellish nights for Red, who seems to have unlocked some kind of sleeping sex demon within Sans. Because he can damn well hear his unconscious best friend moaning for his mystery crush at the other side of the bedroom! And it never ends with just one round. It keeps going. Red can’t even tell his best friend, or he might send his buddy packing back to the Underground!

Sleep-deprived with a mix of hot and bothered, Red decides to keep asking. Maybe it'll help Sans stop the nightly porn audio and the magic singing sin at him. Maybe he'll finally keep his eye sockets shut if he gets used to Sans' intimate magic. Maybe he can finally sleep without getting hot dreams.

Then, finally, Sans thinks maybe he should do it. So he allows it once, hoping exposure would help him lighten the emotions. Red is, at this point, wholly appreciative and thanking every deity in the world that his best friend finally regained his senses.

It doesn't work... for either of them. Sans still loves Red, and Red has tasted exactly what it would be like to be lovingly touched by Sans.

Greedy for more, Red plans many, many ways to make him get over his mystery crush. He wants to steal Sans away. He wants Sans all for himself.

Sans just thinks Red is super horny.

(It never ends with 'just once.')

———

mobile notes: i don't know why i keep writing kustard, but they've been plot bunnies. fictional bunny monsters are harmed whenever a plot bunny smacks me. it's called revenge!

[ibeta]

Kustard Plot: Sansel and Redel

[pt 2 maybe]

The next time Sans wakes up, everything looks different, and he sees mysterious people talking to each other. Humans.

They look at him and coo, and then Sans notices that his body isn't a skeleton anymore. He's not in Snowdin with his brother. Nothing looks familiar, and nothing—he can't feel the connections he's made as a judge. No brother, no friends, no anything—

His immediate distress causes his body to start crying. His heart-wrenching sobs attract them. The humans talk to him, and they start telling him stories, so Sans starts gathering information from the chatting humans.

He's a newly born human, he has two new parents, he is the first child and he has a twin brother, and one of the humans is pointing at the bed—he has a twin brother?

Sans struggles to turn over and finds his twin brother blankly staring at him. A small baby with sparse hair and red eyes full of magic. He makes soft noises. Uncertain noises.

He has a brother. A family... His twin brother, the younger one. He has someone.

The monster within is appeased.

Sans clumsily reaches for him, making noises, and hugs his new brother close. His magic's natural calm shifts over, feeding the baby his magic. He continues to babble nonsensical baby words at his twin brother until his sobbing fades into whimpers.

Though he may not be his old self anymore, at least he has a brother.

And then the humans start naming them and—Sansel and Redel.

Sans has a sinking feeling that he's reborn in a world with suspicious origins.

—

The first time they met, Red was but a small baby, and Sansel, his brother, had soothed him down with magic until he stopped crying. So Red had dubbed his new brother, a genius who kept feeding him magic when no one was looking. How else was it possible for a human mage baby to know exactly what to do?

Red has a new twin brother. A favourite brother. An older one—someone who likes to spend time with him, someone who cares for him, someone who claps when he starts walking. It's embarrassing, but he enjoys the attention and the care.

His new twin is so soft that Red will kill anyone who harms him.

His twin grew up to be playful, a natural prankster like Red. But unlike Red, Sansel seems more forgiving. Sweeter. Soft-hearted. There are a lot of things that could make him vulnerable. His brother’s weird desicions made him go crazy until they started learning to talk to each other—then, they became closer. Sansel doesn't hide the important things from him, so Red is happy to play mastermind or accomplice whenever they need it.

Sans starts hitting the library at a young age and reads him books on a variety of topics. Their favourite thing to do is plan pranks together—and making strategic plans to confuse the masses in regards to seers, prophets, and oracles. Their schemes extend from executing simple pranks to amassing wealth from businesses. They're lauded as the best twins known in their kingdom.

Honestly, the amount of twins in the kingdom were vast—he and Sansel aren't the only ones who could "save the world from a terrible fate" or "destroy a hidden threat that could bring the fall of the world" or "become light and dark to bring destruction"...

He wants Sansel to be happy. He will not be the cause of Sans' pain. He'll destroy anyone who wants him to do so.

—

Notes: this has been in my head for a long time now, and it has grown legs, so you can have it.

[ibeta]

Plot Turned Draft: Kustard Twins

sansel and redel

[kustard plot in lowercase because i was too lazy to click back autocaps]

just... sansel and redel. okay? okay.

kustard twins, except they came from their respective universes and into a new one. born on the same day, taken care of by the same people. has magic, has royals, has baddies.

sans has more magic that can use the magic of that world, but red has corrupted magic, so he can only do a few things. sans gets heir training and drags red around with him. red realises that sans likes him the most out of everyone and reciprocates the attention.

they're super close or as close as sans can get, until red sort of pulls away, and then sans gets anxious because he considers red to be under his boss monster wing and he thinks red has some issues with him so he goes to confront him and—they don't know that the other is previously a monster.

"why are you pulling away? did i do something wrong?" weepy, pleading sans strikes hard and fast into red's soul. a critical strike.

red's boss monster self flusters over the single soul under his wing and tries very hard to give him freedom but—he wants so much of sans' time and attention and he wants to hold him close and keep him company for as long as he lived in this world and he's going crazy at the strange urge to follow sans everywhere.

"no, you're fine." red decides to give sans space. he wants to be a good boss monster. he doesn’t want to suffocate sans with his stupid hovering.

"but you're avoiding me," is sans' watery complaint.

strike two, and red feels his sins crawling down his back. "n...no?" red attempts, and is met with sans' pitiful teary face.

"you've been staying at the frontlines without coming home, red," his twin says to him, and then adds a soft and powerful, "i missed you so much."

strike three. red considers escaping into the woodlands to be forever one with the trees. red's unholy boss monster self is gleeful that sans misses him, wants to hold the soul close and care for sans. "i, uh, missed you. too."

"so you'll tell me what i did wrong, right?" is sans' hopeful question, and red panics because he can’t exactly tell some fantasy-based sibling from another world that he was a monster in a previous life. that he wants to obsess over every single cute and adorable thing that sans does in everything. anything. he can’t say it!

"i can't," red chokes out. "sorry, i can't. a-ask something else. for anything else. i-i-i'll give you that, okay? just. i can't answer. because you didn't do anything wrong."

sans becomes quiet. "so i did nothing wrong?"

"no, you're all good," red rushes to say, appeasing. "very good. great, even." the best and sweetest soul under red's care. which he has to tighten since his apparent absence caused sans to become anxious.

sans looks up. "but there's a problem you're not telling me. and that's why you're pulling away."

red starts sweating. right. the cute soul under his care was too sharp. "uh, yeah, that, um—"

"tell me that one?" sans pleads, all soft and warm and dangerously present.

red stammers, "no!" and sans wilts before him. red's boss monster self encounters its first crisis in the form of a dejected sans. "i'll just spend more time with you!" he blurts.

"red," sans calls out, and red pays great attention, "when was the last time we fought?"

a trick question! "uh, never—?"

"the answer is today."

some time later, when all parties are exhausted from dodging and attacking and no one was actually hit – didn't dare land a hit – sans has won. red didn't let him win. sans just had too many scary tricks up his sleeve to wear him down and—sans' cuteness won out.

sans stares him down. "you're going to tell me exactly what's wrong, or we'll have another showdown, and i will beat you up until you spit it out."

"what the hell have they been feeding you at home?!" red asks because he can’t slip out like the usual.

"magic," sans tells him. "which means i'm stronger again."

"none of your hits landed!" comes red's worried and hysterical response. "you kept dodging instead of attacking—"

"yes," sans interrupts, "but that's because i love you."

silence. red's thoughts take a vacation. sans just keeps up the heavy pressure.

"it's all or nothing," red finally says. the soul under his wing loves him – loves him enough not to damage him, to give him time to dodge, to exhaust him and entrap him even if he knows that sans can do lethal damage when needed. it stings in the most beautiful way. a dangerous way.

"like what?"

"i don't know," red plaintively answers. his pitiful gaze makes sans lighten up the pressure, but he still can't escape. "like, an oath or something? i want to – stars, i want to tell you, but... but, i can't exactly. it's too much, and i don't—" red remembers something from his magic book "—a permanent promise!"

"a permanent thing?" sans pauses and wear on his thinking face. moments later, his expression softens. "huh. wait, i have a better idea."

red is dragged into a magical tent, courtesy of his visiting twin. privacy secured, sans then tells him the better idea.

"soul bond," sans tells him, looking all innocent while full of ulterior motives and scary agendas. likely because he wants to dig deep into red's secrets, he went from a simple oath bond to the most permanent deepest bond in the world. "let's do a soul bond. that's the strongest bond we know."

red is left speechless.

"is that 'all or nothing' enough for you?" is the deep question that speaks of mutiny if red ever denies it.

"you want a soul bond with me?" red almost tears up in happiness. soul bonds in this world were considered the highest form of any connection—friends, comrades, family, or lovers. it depends on the potential soul connection between two parties, but red knows he and sans have a strong bond.

sans looks at him with all the affection in the world. "yes, red. you're that important to me, okay? i love you, i care for you, and no one else will make me change my mind from offering this bond with you."

red fails to mask a weepy whine, but he does give in to embrace sans before he can change his mind. the soul who cares for him hugs back, and red's certain he'll accept the offer.

everyone in the continent talks of how much sans cares for red or of how much red cares for sans. they're famous in other kingdoms for their combined pranks. in some rumours, sans should have resented him for being weak, and red should have resented sans for taking all the glory, but it's different. sans showed his care of red from the very beginning and red had been helpless to it, hungry for the free affection given to him by his most closest person in this stupid world. sans even secretly shared his magic, feeding red so much that red found a way to become powerful in his own way.

"yeah," red answers. secrets revealed from a soul bond stayed in the soul bond. they'd both be open. they'd both know each other. red would be able to tell sans about his past, would want sans to get to know that side of him, too. and sans would be able to tell him stupid things that make him sad, and that—it's a good idea. "yeah, let's bond."

[ibeta]

Wickedly Precious

Sans: something precious comes this way.

Papyrus: *BLUSH* SANS, OH MY GOD, THAT'S NOT WHAT THE SCRIPT SAYS!

Sans: but pap, it's you. you're precious. so, so precious. there's nothing wi... *remembers several RESETs before and blushes brightly*

Papyrus: THERE'S NOTHING WHAT?

Sans: oh, you know. nothing. there's nothing. *flustered*

Papyrus: JUST... *SIGH...* PLEASE LET ME DO MY SCENE AGAIN.

Sans: go for it. *looking elsewhere*

Papyrus: ON THREE. ONE... TWO... THREE!

Sans: something preciously wicked comes this way. *sweats and avoids eye-contact*

Papyrus: SANS!!!

[ibeta]

Sans: Stardust, Voice Actor

Sans is a part-time secret voice actor at the Surface. Otherwise, he’s usually a hotdog vendor for fun, an ambassador replacement (if everyone else was busy), or a comedian at Grillby’s or MTT Resort 2. He’s also a secret scientist. He’s an older brother full-time, and he would never quit that job. 

He has a popular website that allows voice actors to be scouted and a blog within that showcases all his voice-acting work. He’s famous for his mysterious identity, his wide range of vocal impressions, his random-genre-generated scripts, commissioned audio scripts and audio books.

He keeps his brother away from it.

That is, until he buys a 5-star rated compilation of famous CDs and hands it to his brother, unknowing that while it contains Felix’s limited edition Cooking with Monsters, it also had one of his published CDs. A disk that contained a mix of his popular works, from innocent bedtime stories to the dirtiest of erotica.

From the first surprising audio record, Papyrus becomes intrigued by this mysterious voice actor.

Not that Sans would ever know it.

[ibeta]

Sans: Pothos

Sans, only seen by those who yearn or long for something or someone.

In his world, he had accidentally tripped over an ancient artifact that skewed his powers. It made him see the connections of people’s desires and the strength of their longing. He could see it in the stats, but never knowing where or why they had those stats.

He tried to help, donning on a secret identity to prevent them from stalking him back to his house. Each person helped added to that invisible tally that allowed him to comprehend his powers. The more monsters that satisfied the yearning, the more in-depth his powers became. The more he understood how to help others.

He was still new to being some kind of love deity that could detect longing.

Apparently, tripping on the artifact was one of the ways to become some kind of all-powerful (in certain specific areas) deity. He was lucky that Papyrus could still see him. 

His brother...

Papyrus had so many dreams. Sans didn’t even know where to start helping him, especially that one longing with the infinity status.

[ibeta]

Plot: Letters of Love

How many monsters were in the Underground? A lot, Sans discovered as Papyrus counted the many letters he received from his secret admirer(s) in order to find a clue to their identity. It would have helped if they used a single handwriting, but that would blow Sans’ cover.

He really didn’t know how it got to this. It was one letter at first, and then the next followed, and then the next... until Sans actually and accidentally fell in love with Papyrus from noticing all his great qualities. And from asking monsters to help him write a message.

Plot: Sans gets a neat idea of sending his brother a letter. His brother has always checked his mail box for any letters, but he never found a single one. 

Sans goes out and disguises himself, and then he asks a random monster to write the letter for him, pretending not to know how to write. After the random stranger wrote for him, he shortcuts the letter into his brother’s mailbox and waits.

[ibeta]

Sans: Littlebones Big Brother

♡ Sans agrees to help Alphys experiment with an old blueprint that could turn any monster younger. Unfortunately, Alphys assembled it wrong and Sans is sent to another world and he’s switched with a younger Sans that was holding his babybones brother. Older Babybones Sans is extremely… protective. When he switches with Sans, he immediately commandeers the science lab, captures the monsters inside the lab and interrogates each one of them for the location of his brother. Cue Papyrus trying to calm the monster down. Sans, meanwhile, has the time of his life caring for his not-brother and tinkering with a working universal machine.

(Plot Collection)

[ibeta]

Sans: Black Soul

Newborn monsters start with a black soul, but instinctively and slowly gain the white colour of souls due to their lack of “knowledge”.

What happens when a monster with knowledge suddenly turns into a black soul? Well... Apparently, Sans might have an idea about it, and he isn’t about to divine anyone of the answer to that question. He’d made a promise. 

After nearly dying from a quick HP drain, his soul had turned black. He’d had to tell his friends why it had happened, but he wouldn’t tell them anything else about the person that had caused it.

Black souls are the base of a monster soul. Black souls absorb light, and depending on the right situation, it would either be extremely beneficial or dangerous to have a black soul. Luckily for most of the monsterkind, Sans had found a way to prevent himself from succumbing to extremely risky actions.

It isn’t like Flowey’s situation, but it’s more like his mind is orbiting around the priorities that he had listed down before his soul had turned black. He just had to follow the rules so he wouldn’t sway to the emptiness inside him.

[ibeta]

Sans: Radio Host

Sans starts working as a radio host at a new station. He has a talent for entertainment and he has a great vocalization. He works the day shift

It becomes popular after he his week of hosting, bringing in a lot of viewers and a lot more anonymous donations to remove advertisements (because the viewers wanted to hear his voice more). He is voted as the radio host ‘with the most irresistible voice’ of the month.

Papyrus is innocently listening to a MTT contest from a different radio station when he accidentally changes stations. Then he hears this mysterious sultry voice narrating a monster-human festival with the most shockingly indecent of tones. 

The radio host doesn’t even sound as if he is doing it on purpose.

[ibeta]

Plot: The Grand Chase

Based on experience and hilarious ideas.

Sans has been in love with Papyrus for a long time, so when an opportunity came in the guise of having to move into another country for several months, he takes the initiative to confess...

...several thousand miles away.

Cue Papyrus chasing his brother around the globe in hopes to catch him, with only gifts left behind as clues.

(One of the stories I’m working on for fun, listed in a previous progress update as a mystery story. It was Story 4.)

[ibeta]

Sans: Tomato and Condiments Deity

Sans the tomato deity. Loves tomatos. Throws tomatoes. Eats tohmahtohs. Deity of condiments. Just add Sans and everything will taste weird but amazing.

[ibeta]

Sans: Gatekeeper Pathos

He’s the brother of Papyrus, the forgotten one. 

Sans had been fixing an overheated machine at the CORE when Gaster accidentally fell into the CORE with a cable looped around his foot. The cable snapped and the machine crashed. The influx of different energies struck him and he found himself in a strange place full of destinations.

He became the Gatekeeper. Even then, he was more worried for his brother.  He hadn’t meant to leave Papyrus alone, so he tried his best to keep Papyrus happy, always making sure that there was a Sans that could help him, messing up some shortcuts of other Sanses that needed a little nudge in the right direction.

[ibeta]

Four Terribears (the dunce klerb) Stuff:

(I will add to this when it hits me again to get rid of the bearies.)

• Sans is born into this world and somehow manages to change his character stats/settings. Sans is still The Judge.

• "The World" is awake and begs for Sans' help in maintaining its balance or something like that. But Sans can't help since he's still a cute little bones.

• Sans negotiates with "The World." He wants to spread the souls of his past friends into the world, to be reborn like him. Then, he finds that he's no longer carrying most of those souls, that some have already started rebirth a little before he came. Others he used in the negotiations. Familiar faces pop up, and he feels content to see them happier.

• Sans emancipates himself early from the monster orphanage by displaying his high wisdom and mature decisions. It unnerves some monsters until he starts punning at their face. Somehow, he gets his own home, which is far away from towns. (It is a cheap piece of land. He's planning to keep buying the land nearby, just in case of an emergency.)

• Sans goes to shady places to learn more of his new world. From the monsters in the dark to the monsters in the light, Sans learns of them. He learns their expressions, from their body movement to their words. He can see their souls in the light and sees it even more clearly in the dark.

• Sans finds Papyrus in this world and somehow finds three other little bones that look suspiciously like his brother. He has a sinking feeling that he'll find copies of himself, so he asks The World to help him match up the brothers. The World proves him right when it comes back with information about the lookalikes. Sans hatches out a plan to remove any future name confusion by asking the cute little boneses to rename their sibling. (It works.)

• Sans' shenanigans as "The Judge" appears at the World Menu's log folders. His conversations and interactions with The World are recorded within a golden folder in the logs, as if he's being treated with care. Souls can access this folder whenever they want. "The World" doesn't hide its shameless actions of begging the judge for help when it feels overwhelmed.

• Sans and Papyrus travel to learn more about the world. Papyrus has no idea how they get to these strange places, but he knows that Sans befriended a lot of monsters with his cuteness. They befriend the flower-named ladies from that strangely shady place and the mysterious gruff people from that official-looking building. They learn from them the art of dancing, singing and music... and the art of creative fighting. (They even managed to pair away the flower ladies with the gruff people and got invited to many union ceremonies.)

• Sans teaches Papyrus (and the flower ladies) how to use magic. Intimate healers suddenly appear in the shady districts, highly sought-after and protected by scary bodyguards. New laws protect intimate healers from harm to their well-being. The flower ladies claim that a mysterious consultant had visited them to recommend that they learn healing magic. (It's them, Snas the Consultant!)

• "The Consultant" is a figure that appears in strange places to offer insight into magic and other knowledge. They disappear if they're done sharing their wisdom. Sans gains no suspicion as he's an emancipated tiny skeleton, and The Consultant is taller than him, with a deep voice. It isn't like Sans can disguise himself with conjured bones and change the pitch and range of his voice... right?

• Sans discovers that he doesn't mind learning about activities as long as it helps him connect to the monsters of the world. He finds it... peaceful? He seems to want to connect with the new monsters.

• Some time later, when Sans is older, Papyrus realises the company they keep beside them. Many of their friends treat them with love and respect, but not one of them is his brother’s age! Papyrus, the little brother of an older brother that seems content with things, plans on finding his brother friends of the same age. So, when Papyrus reaches the age where he can attend school, he takes the chance.

Sans, who is astounded by Papyrus’ decisions, worries that his brother will be troubled by other monsters.

"SANS, THEY CAN BARELY COUNT TO A HUNDRED. I THINK I'M FAR FROM BEING BULLIED!"

"but, pap, i..."

"ACTUALLY, BROTHER, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS TIME TO ENTER SCHOOL, TOO?" Papyrus "suggests" with a pointed look. "JUST SKIP TO THE GRADE YOU NEED TO BE INSTEAD OF HANGING OUT WITH ME ALL DAY!"

Sans' smile drops so fast that his teeth click together, and Papyrus breaks his character by going over to comfort him in a panic.

"but i like hanging out with you," Sans pitifully tells him. He looks like he's going to cry, and Papyrus can't allow it. He'll fold! He'll immediately concede to his brother’s demands!

"BUT, SANS, DON'T YOU WANT TO MAKE CONNECTIONS WITH OTHER MONSTERS YOUR AGE?"

The shorter skeleton stays silent. His eyelights look suspiciously blurry.

"A-ACTUALLY, HOW ABOUT I SKIP GRADES SO I CAN ACCOMPANY YOU?!"

His older brother beams at him. Papyrus can't help but feel like he's walked into a trap set up for him.

They go to school, but it's Papyrus that finds a friend in Undyne, a classmate of theirs that contains so much energy in her muscled form. Sans befriends their classmates in a detached manner, but then he meets Alphys, who had entered school late and shares the same classes as them.

"SEE? NOW YOU HAVE A SCIENCE BUDDY, BROTHER!" Papyrus spies Alphys blinking at him from the library hallway and waves. Papyrus waves back, excited. "MAYBE YOU CAN ASK HER OUT," he whispers.

Sans laughs.

Later, Papyrus sees Alphys sputtering as she gives Undyne flowers. She comes by their table in a hurry, thanking Sans for encouraging her to ask out the captain of the sports club and then darting away from their table, escaping from Undyne’s yelling of her name.

The captain of the sports team runs after the small dinosaur monster and scoops her up in excitement.

Papyrus turns to his brother, who sips innocently on a juice box despite having no lips for suction.

"DID YOU KNOW THAT WOULD HAPPEN?"

"nope," his brother denies.

Papyrus relaxes in his seat and sighs. Of cours—

"i thought your best bud would ask alphys out first," Sans added thoughtfully. "seems like a missed chance on her part, huh?"

Papyrus glares at him. "SANS!" This means his brother understood from the very start that Undyne and Alphys shared a good synergy! "YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" He's spent several useless weeks showcasing his brother’s worth to Alphys. He's mentioned several times to Undyne how much he wants Sans to ask Alphys out—only for his brother to turn his efforts into the form of a new couple!

"sorry, bro."

"I WOULD HAVE HELPED!"

"i'll take that into account next time."

Papyrus balks in horror. Next time? Is his brother about to play matchmaker for every friend they meet in life?!

Next time comes too fast. Papyrus watches in awe and horror as Toriel and Asgore break up from his perch next to Sans' tree branch. The ex-couple had planned to attend the same school, but some sort trouble had come between them (his brother, perhaps?!) and they couldn't continue on.

"THIS ISN'T WHAT I MEANT BY HELPING," he whispers to his brother after the ex-couple left. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE HELPING THEM TO DO A UNION CEREMONY!"

"nope," his brother denies, opening a single socket. "asgore's softness and tori's decisiveness don't rub well together. splitting them up now will save us a lot of heartache."

"US?" Papyrus sputters, "HOW WILL THEIR RELATIONSHIP AFFECT US?"

Sans sits up on his branch. "huh. you know, i didn't think of that. let's see if we can fix it."

"WE?"

Papyrus sweats as Toriel and Asgore talk to each other in the alcove, apologising and professing their fears and honest feelings. Sans watches them from his perch on the tree branch, swinging his legs back and forth.

"how about that?" Sans asks him after Toriel and Asgore leave while holding hands.

Papyrus stares at his brother. "SANS, HOW ABOUT WE LEAVE THE MATCHMAKING AND MATCHBREAKING TO OTHER MONSTERS?" he suggests.

His horror at seeing Sans use the skills and talents they learned from their babysitters hasn't left him. He feels pangs of awe and the sweat of nerves in his soul. He can envision the future – his brother, Sans, with strings on his fingers and scissors in one hand. Many couples behind him, glaring or staring at each others' eyes.

"sure, bro," his brother agrees easily. "it was kinda tiring when we had to get them back together. fluffybuns is too fluffy. i had to bring a basket of tissues just to hear him out about his flower garden. tori, on the other hand, is kinda sharp. mom senses, ya know?"

"MOM SENSES?"

"seems like a natural sense to her," Sans tells him. "managed to talk her around and left her without knowing anything. just make sure you act calm with someone like her, and she'll think you know nothing and just want to encourage her to be a better goat than yesterday."

Papyrus decides that Sans must never make matches or break matches ever again—

"THEY'RE FIGHTING!" Papyrus tells Sans over their puzzle board.

"the goat couple?"

"UNDYNE AND ALPHYS," Papyrus corrects as he slides in a piece into its proper place. "CAN YOU BREAK THEM UP? THEY'VE STARTED THEIR FOURTH FIGHT DURING THE GAME BOARD TIME AT HOMEROOM. YOU WERE THERE!"

"wasn't paying attention, sorry."

Papyrus doubts it. Sans always seems like he has eyes everywhere. He had cameras installed in their home and somehow always comes up with more and more embarrassing videos and photos of Papyrus’ childhood in the form of suspiciously-angled takes.

"PLEASE, BROTHER," he mumbles, "I WANT TO REVIEW MY NOTES IN PEACE."

Sans blinks at him and laughs. "it's okay, bro, i got this. let's do a review later, okay?"

Papyrus shudders at the subtle promise. No doubt his mind will be drilled with information he needs to pass the exams.

Next year, Sans and Papyrus' classes split. His brother looks forlornly at their timetable. They have different homerooms, one split apart by several blocks of classes.

"I TOLD YOU TO REGISTER QUICKLY!"

"sorry, bro."

But the schedule change becomes a blessing in disguise, as it lets Sans get used to Papyrus being away from him.

Sure, the frequent check-ins and texting came in droves, but Sans seemed to get used to sending them less frequently.

And, at the end, Sans got bored of easy classes, skipping forward to join MUCK's free classes.

Meanwhile, in homeroom, Papyrus meets three skeletons that look suspiciously like him. If he hasn't grown up with Sans, Papyrus would consider them to be related.

"HELLO, MY NAME IS PAPYRUS!"

They give him a steady look, and then sigh.

"EDGE," the skeleton monster wearing a red scarf introduces himself. Papyrus can't help but think it's an apt name based on his sharp features and even sharper teeth.

"stretch," the skeleton monster wearing an orange hoodie tells him. Papyrus can't help but blink at the lowercase. He's only met one monster that spoke in lowercase – Napstablook.

And, lastly, "mutt."

"WHAT?" Papyrus hopes he misheard him.

The other skeleton startles and then blinks. "oh, right, uh. it's, um, not mutt. it's rus."

Papyrus takes in their features, their body language, and their expressions. Then, with skills trained into him, he asks an important question.

"BY ANY CHANCE," he hedges carefully, "DO YOU ALSO HAVE AN OLDER BROTHER THAT SEEMS TO SUFFER FROM BEING UNABLE TO MAKE PROPER CONNECTIONS WITH HIS PEERS DESPITE BEING A SOCIABLE CHARACTER?"

The surprise, suspicion, and confusion that shows on their face confirms it. Papyrus inwardly questions his existence for a second. How is it possible to have four sets of skeletons that seem similar to each other? How strange and... ah, magical. Yes, magic is always the answer. Maybe they're simply alternate universe copies of himself, except they share the same world.

"BY THE WAY, MY BROTHER IS ATTENDING MUCK," he tells them, circling around their questioning gazes. "I ASKED HIM TO MAKE A CLUB, BUT I DOUBT THAT HE'S DOING AS HE'S TOLD. HE'S MOST LIKELY NAMED IT SOMETHING EMBARRASSING TO PREVENT ANYONE FROM JOINING."

"...ARE YOU ASKING US TO SET UP A PLAYDATE FOR OUR BROTHERS?" Edge makes a face, and then it falls. "THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA."

"yeah, sounds like a good idea," Stretch agrees, "my brother’s been trying to make friends."

"...i'll ask my brother," Rus mumbles. "he might want to make connections."

Papyrus gains three friends in one day.

When he discovers the name of the club, he shows it to his friends.

Edge balks at the name, Stretch starts laughing, and Rus joins him.

"THE DUNCE KLERB? WAS YOUR BROTHER DRUNK WHEN HE WROTE IT DOWN?"

"HE SUBMITTED AN ELECTRONIC COPY," Papyrus answers dryly.

"he..." Stretch snorts, "he did it deliberately. man, your brother's club name needs a reward."

Papyrus turns to Rus.

"n-n-no, this name," he stammers, "m-my bro's gonna go nuts!"

"AT LEAST READ THE DESCRIPTION!" Papyrus insists.

"WELL, THAT DESCRIPTION SOUNDS PROMISING, EXCEPT FOR THE PART WHERE HE WANTS THEM TO PRACTISE DUNCING."

Rus and Stretch laugh like Sans' pun is the best thing they've heard in weeks. Papyrus sighs and then takes out his second ammunition: the newspapers in his bag.

"HERE, PLEASE READ THIS!"

His friends look over the newspapers, and Papyrus finally sees the expression he wants from them: awe and disbelief.

"dude, your brother's a genius!" Stretch exclaims, pointing at the newspaper. "he made this when he was, like, eight years old!" Papyrus puffs out his chest in pride. Yes, his brother even received the first prize for the science competition.

"your brother was the one who made those exotic foods?" Rus shuffles over to hand him back the newspapers. "my brother loves those. he can't seem to stop secretly buying glamburgers."

"YOUR BROTHER HELPED OUT WITH THE MISSING DOGS CASE?" Edge sputters. "HOW CAN HE—WHY—HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW?"

"OH, WELL, MR. RUFF LIKES TO CHECK IN ONCE IN A WHILE," Papyrus tells him. He takes back his newspapers and returns them to his bag. "WE'RE FRIENDS WITH HIS BONDED, LADY FREESIA—ERM, THAT IS, MRS. GLADE, I SUPPOSE."

"MR. RUFF—YOU MEAN THE HEAD OF INTELLIGENCE?! HIS WIFE IS THE BEST INTIMATE HEALER IN KINSLAND!"

Rus leans forward. "you know his wife? how?"

"OH, WELL, THE FLOWER LADIES WERE MY BABYSITTERS." Papyrus smiles at the memory, remembering the time Sans told them to sit down with him. "SANS TAUGHT THEM TO WRITE WITH ME SO I WOULDN'T FEEL ALONE WHEN I STARTED LEARNING MONSTER'S COMMON LANGUAGE."

Stretch chokes on a fry. "dude, you and your brother grew up with intimate healers and the monster head of intelligence? what the hell did you do?"

"SANS ALREADY KNEW THEM! HE BEFRIENDED THEM AGES AGO BY ACCIDENT, WHICH LED TO ME BEING INTRODUCED TO THEM, AND THEN WE NEVER REALLY STOPPED BEING BABIED BY THEM. WELL, ME. SANS SEEMS TO BE TREATED LIKE AN OLDER MONSTER SINCE HE WAS EMANCIPATED EARLY."

"papyrus, my brother has to join this club if i can't," Rus fervently tells him. "my brother would kill to have connections like that."

"honestly, i want to ask him if he also knows the monster head of science. the guy in the picture looks at him like he knows him, you know? but blue would love this club regardless. he likes making friends."

"MY BROTHER WOULD MOST LIKELY DRAG HIS FEET IF I ASKED," Edge admits. "I CAN’T BE SURE WITH HIM, SINCE HE LIKES TO BE CONTRARY AT TIMES. BUT I'M SURE HE'LL JOIN FOR THE STUPID NAME BEFORE HE JOINS FOR ANY DUNCING."

"THERE'S NO NEED TO GO THAT FAR," Papyrus sighs. "I'LL MAKE SURE TO INVITE MY BROTHER TO MEET ALL OF YOU."

His new friends seem to really enjoy that idea. Papyrus can't understand why. His babysitters and their bondeds seem normal to him. They're his good friends, and they act like family.

[ibeta]

Judge Fell Sans

Don’t mind me. Just imagining the horrible things I can do with this.

[ibeta]

A sweet moment between Sans and Papyrus... causes some weird misunderstandings.

In the royal bed chambers.