#id have to consult the new mods tho i dunno whats going on

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

[read along with this]

DAVE: ..................... [𝓈𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓁𝑒 𝒻𝓁𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒]

ROSE: On the horizon of this forest path, you see a group of dark cloaked figures slowly trudging toward you. What do you do?

JOHN: my half-orc barbarian braces her greathammer and-- that's a one.

ROSE: Critical fail. Jade, what do you do?

JADE: well!! i believe in anticipation my rogue would try and hide behind a tree-- ok i rolled a one :(

ROSE: That's another... critical fail. Dave, what does your human bard do?

DAVE: [𝓉𝒽𝓇𝑒𝑒 𝒻𝓁𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈] active perception check

ROSE: ...That's a natural twenty.

DAVE: lets fuckin go [𝒮𝐼𝒞𝒦 𝐹𝐿𝒰𝒯𝐸 𝑅𝐼𝐹𝐹]

DAVE: i feel it in my fingers ⁽ˢⁿᵃᵖ⁾ i feel it in my toes ⁽ᶠˡᵘᵗᵉ⁾ these motherfuckers mean to harm us...........and theyve got to go

𝐒𝐎 𝐂𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐄𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐖

you picked the wrong day. to fuck around with my

TIGHT CREW ⁽ᵒʰ ᵒʰ⁾

theres no escaping it (i can perceive you) heres what were gonna do [𝒶𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓈𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒻𝓁𝓊𝓉𝑒 𝓇𝒾𝒻𝒻]

ME AND MY BOYS ARE GONNA MESS YOU UP

JOHN: i rolled a one.

JADE: i rolled a one :(

DAVE:

FUCK

my boys are otherwise engaged. so im gonna bring it ALL MYSELF

hhey i forgot youre supposed to tell me what i see right

ROSE: Yes, thank you. Let's just slow it all down a bit. So, you notice that one of the hooded figures is a little shorter--

DAVE: 𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 𝐦𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐧𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐠𝐨

YOURE A SHORT MOTHERFUCKER AND NOBODY LIKES YOU

[𝓈𝒾𝒸𝓀 𝒻𝓁𝓊𝓉𝑒]

SHORT

everybody says "look how fuckin short that guy is" and it stops you from forming 𝓶𝓮𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓻𝓮𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓹𝓼

when you were born everybody thought that you were just a head but THEN THE DOCTOR SAID "WAIT. this 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐩𝐢𝐝 𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗 tiny ꜱʜᴏʀᴛ ᴀꜱꜱ ʙᴀʙʏ got a tiny little ɪᴛᴛʏ ʙɪᴛᴛʏ ʙᴏᴅʏ and i 𝐇𝐀𝐓𝐄 it"

ROSE: Your attack lands and absolutely SHATTERS the mind of the cloaked figure; perception check, please?

DAVE: nat twenty lets go

ROSE: You perceive the figure was so short because it was a CH--

DAVE: --ild. its always a kid

ROSE: Specifically the child you've been looking for for the last fifteen days game time and five days of our actual lives.

DAVE: ok im sorry i didnt know ill be better. ᵘᵍᵍʰʰfuck his bodys just lying there right

ROSE: ...

DAVE: right

ROSE: ...Yes... ...!! Don't--

DAVE:

LOOT THAT BODY

gotta 𝓛𝓞𝓞𝓣 𝓣𝓗𝓐𝓣 𝓑𝓞𝓓𝓨 𝓝𝓞𝓦

LOOT THAT BODY

gotta loot that motha𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊ᴬᴬᴬ !!! playin my flute when i 𝙻𝙾𝙾𝚃 ᴛʜᴀᴛ 𝔻𝔼𝔸𝔻 𝕂𝕀𝔻𝕊 𝓑𝓞𝓓𝓐𝓐𝓐𝓨

[𝓕𝓛𝓤𝓣𝓔 𝓜𝓞𝓜𝓔𝓝𝓣]

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