#idc about not having a large audience but it is lovely to have an audience at all

[f0point5]

People oversharing on the internet has become such a HUGE issue imo. They feel the need to share everything to an audience full of strangers. I miss the days when social media and private life were actually separated because nowadays it seems like it’s all blended together. Might as well take the word ”privacy“ out of the dictionary because it doesn’t exist anymore. And for them to go and post something like that ?!? The tweet just casually trauma dumping to strangers and the worst part is they’re all eating it up ? The comments be like: ”I’m so sorry for you, I totally get your disappointment in him“ or ”I’m with you you’re not alone, we got each other during this disappointing time” like wow. Are you guys mental ?!? What’s going on 😭 I think a lot of fans (and idc if this upsets anyone) are way too caught up in the drivers personal life and the whole WAG thing which also leads to women who are fans of the actual racing to not be taken seriously. There I said it. I see tiktoks or tweets saying: me in the garage of McLaren watching Lando race as his wag- Girl you won’t ever be a ”WAG” 😭 this obsession with the drivers love life and ”WAGs” needs to end because it’s concerning. Are you watching F1 because you like the sport or are you just constantly imagining yourself in the paddock as a drivers girlfriend and just stick around for the racing because you got nothing better to do ? No wonder people claim that women only watch to thirst over the men when that’s 70% of F1 content online posted by women.

Alsoooo the ones that go around saying things like ”women aren’t respected in motorsports” and ”there’s so much sexism coming from these rich men” are the same ones that go ahead and say shit like: ”I want his babies“ and even worse stuff under a drivers post ?!? How is that not bad as well? That’s just as disrespectful.

Yeah, my god. When we said “be open about your mental health” we meant with friends and family not the world at large. The notion that sharing your daily experiences with the world is helpful to anyone really needs to die.

I have no words for those unhinged individuals sharing their trauma as a reason why Lando Norris (complete stranger) owes them something. Literally no words I’m the vocabulary to adequately articulate my revulsion.

People can like the sport or the drivers for whatever reason they want but the parasocial has gone too far for some of these people. I really can see why people are in so many unhappy relationships, because if you can delude yourself into thinking a person you’ve never even met will conform to your fantasy (which let me tell you is problematic in itself because these fantasies are always just someone who mirrors their every thought.), I guess you can project reasoning into real people who treat you like crap. Rip to all the real mean out there competing with delusion the way women compete with p*rn stars 😂

Yeah the “rich men” trope to explain behaviour makes me laugh. As if middle class or working class men have different opinions. I know y’all would like to put these drivers in some otherworldly category where you don’t have to confront the fact that they’re just ordinary people getting on with their lives the same way your boyfriend, friend, brother, and dad likely would in their position, but that’s still delusional thinking. You think only rich men ignore issues that don’t affect them? The entirety of the middle class is rioting in the streets, baying for whatever cause has got your knickers in a twist today, and it’s only the rich men getting on with their lives? Give me a break 🙄

[lariskapargitay]

So me and @includeangieinthesequel got the same comment on two of our fics today, talking about how the poor por shipper just wants to get off and ship incest and childhood sexual abuse and pedophillia in peace and the poor mean antis just added such amean antis who said incest was wrong 🥺

“Hi to whoever found this and wants to take the time to read my personal thoughts on something I investigated and spent some genuine reflection time for several weeks.”

So genuine that they felt the need to copy and paste the same comment on two separate fics not relating to incest at all, neither of them tagged with incest.

“If anybody has been following my posts.”

They haven’t you’re ugly in body, heart, soul and mind.

“you’d know that I commented on the Encanto fandom’s TW/Madrigalcest shippings and gave a respectful heads up that I wouldn’t be commenting much on it, although I am proship.”

Proship = okay with justifying pedophilia and incest btw.

“I wanted to follow up on that and come out here to say that I am no longer against it and for me to have been against it reveals my own hypocrisy in proship.”

Aka ‘I like to see and think about incest and pedophillia and get mad when people tell me I’m nasty for it

“This absolutely does NOT mean I condone incest in real life, nor does it mean anybody else who creates works for it does.”

No but people who do ‘condone incest and pedophilia’ use your shit to justify it. ‘Look it’s not that bad! See! They get it, they understand when a fifty year old man wants to fuck his 15 yr old niece it’s out of LOVE! I would NEVER hurt a child, I just love them! Im not like the OTHER sickos out there!”

“I just wanna take this time to dive deeper into why properly discussing proship within fandoms is becoming increasingly important in understanding how people engage with each other. The Encanto fandom is still quite young but the tendencies occurring within it must be discussed respectfully.”

You like incest and pedophillia and believe that these issues aren’t a big deal, blow off victims of incest and pedophillia by telling them it’s actually romantic and sweet and not a big deal, and you write child sexual assault, which IS beinc used by pedophilies to get off on btw. You are owed nothing but resentment and certainly not respect.

“After exploring the Encanto fandom spaces across social media, there is without a doubt an extremely large audience that indulges in Madrigalcest, canon x oc pairings, nsfw, and all different kinds of head canons.”

NOOOOO NO NO NO NO NO DO NOT COMPARE ASULT NSWF OR OC/CANON SHIPS TO PEDOPHILLIA OR INCEST BITCH DO NOT!!! Thinking an adult Pepa like to get tied up and spanked by an adult Felix is NOT the same as wanting an adult to rape his nieve (and yes, it’s rape, Idc how much you write that Camilo or Mirabel ‘wanted it’

“I have nothing against this, in fact, I encourage it. On Twitter, some of the Encanto animators have been questioned whether or not they are aware of all of this “sinful (as the morally righteous fans would argue)” fan content being made and they’ve acknowledged it in a positive manner by stating that they don’t mind and enjoy seeing how other people interpret their works. The animators have literally answered before that they are not disturbed nor against it.”

Yeah, bc the animators who is followed by CHILDREN WHO ARE FANS OF THE MOVIE would come out and talk about incest and pedophillia instead of just going ‘oh Wtf that’s sick! Anyway let’s just ignore it and not bring attention for what unfortunate fact our KIDS MOVIE has been taken over by people who think childhood sexual abuse and abusive sexual acts are no big deal (bc that is what pedophillia and incest are btw)

“Does this mean you, whoever you are, have to be proship/tolerant too? Of course not! Everybody is free to interpret media in their own ways and find comfort in whatever way suits them because SHIPPING DOES NOT EQUAL MORALITY.”

No but people do use media and trends to justify actions and thoughts 🥰

“Fictional writings, works, drawings, etc. are NOT always a direct introspective look into the artist. In 2022, I would’ve thought that internet fandoms would be “woke” enough to understand that there is no reason for anybody to harass fans through public callouts, threads explaining why they are horrible people and should harm themselves, or wish sexual abuse upon others over FICTIONAL CHARACTERS.”

Once again, you support childhood sexual assault and abusive sexual acts. You are not entitled to respect. You are are not entitled to a respectful conversation. You are not entitled to anything but scorn. People telling you to k word themselves or wish sexual abuse is wrong. Very wrong. But so is making victims of these acts go through having to have people like you go ‘oh well it’s fine, it’s just fictional incest, it’s actually romantic!’ Is wrong as well.

“If anything, we’re approaching a limit where I am STUNNED by how many younger fans are the very ones smiting each other with such violent words.”

Adults hate you too don’t forget 🥰

“There are many adults inappropriately engaging in this disgusting behavior as well with little to no regard that there is another human being behind that user screen.”

The only ‘disgusting behavior” is excusing away incest and pedophillia.

“Where is the humility when it comes to REAL fans and internet users? Is it only reserved for fictional comfort characters or for people who strictly agree with you?”

I love that ‘real fans’ imply that people who don’t enjoy and excuse away childhood sexual assault and abusive sexual acts aren’t ‘real fans’. And my humility is reserved for the victims of these actions y’all want to exude away and justify.

“I have a high tolerance for what people will interpret/create in their fictional works because I understand the human complexity that exists in trauma works.”

So EVERY person who writes Bruno/Camilo smut and tweet about how he’d get ‘one taste of him and follow him through the walls’ is a victim? What about the victims who BEG y’all to stop and who BEG y’all to understand that this is dangerous and not okay? Or do they not count bc they get in the way of your pedo ship?

“Does everybody forget that some of the most famous works were written out of needing to cope with trauma, such as death and abuse?” But I also understand that sometimes people just create things for the hell of it! Both are perfectly fine. I believe that any attempt to put a morality spectrum on somebody’s fictional works, unless they are explicitly meant to portray moral correctness, is a waste of precious time and energy.”

Calling out justifiers of pedophillia and incest is never a waste of precious time and energy 🥰. But copying and pasting a 2000 word comment on two fics whose only mention of incest is a tag is thiugg.

“The Encanto fandom is an interesting example of where the international majority across Tik Tok, YouTube, and Instagram is rooted in understanding that most of their fan works are fictional and most importantly, for for fun. On Twitter and other parts of Instagram, there is an extremely resilient American minority who attempts to oust the majority who exhibit proship tendencies and overall tolerant towards differing fanon opinions/art.”

So you’re saying ONLY Americans have issues with people justifying incest and pedophillia? Well God Bless the USA then! *salutes as an eagle screeches in the background*

“Their fandom discourse has become so extreme to where trending hashtags such as “#ShutUpGringo2022″ were used in opposition to the minority who keeps attempting to police how the majority enjoy Encanto and other Latine works.”

So hang on; white people don’t understand that apparently everyone in Colombia is aokay with incest and pedophillia, but when Hispanic people told white people to stfu, they’re in the wrong for it? Smells like racism to me

“This is such an unfortunate event and it saddens me to see how it is also not the only instance of this fandom’s conflict. There is no point in policing somebody’s experience online in fandom spaces unless they are directly harassing or causing harm to you. We have so many methods of blocking and muting users/tags, yet people will still go out of their way to express their anger against other fans.”

You mean like coming into the ‘no incest’ tag just to copy and paste a 2000 word comment into two seperate fics?

“I could understand the upheaval of the minority if Disney or the Encanto animators directly spoke up against it. However, they do not. Why wouldn’t they? Hello?”

See above.

“Any sort of fandom attention is better for their product than no attention at all lol. It wouldn’t be the first Disney controversy either. Until then, I don’t understand why would anybody go out of their way to express such deep opposition when majority of the international fandom across various social media accounts will post Madrigalcest" (Tumbler from a fellow Pro-shiper).”

Well then the majority of international fandom deserve hate and strife and to be called out on. *another bald eagle screeches majestically in the background*

“I feel like this summarizes my thoughts and the thoughts of every single Pro-shiper out there. You're not a Pro-shiper. Fine but don't bash on us. We are people too and like this person said: shipping doesn't equal morality.”

And I think my thoughts can be summarized in three simple words.

Shit up gringo.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[samingtonwilson]

A Bid on Bucky

Summary: You spend thousands of dollars at a bachelor auction for Bucky when you could’ve had him for free this entire time.

Pairing: bucky x reader

a/n: this fic is damning evidence that idiots in love is my favorite genre, your honor. i’ve more likely than not used this gif before but idc because im lov it

Tony Stark is a humanitarian— a fact you have neither forgotten, nor will he allow you to forget. 

Oftentimes, he’ll remind you verbally and, other times, a visual reminder will be posted on the team’s social media accounts. The pictures of him at the elephant sanctuary he helped found in Thailand are your personal favorites.

If news of his latest cause is not filling the pages of The Times or showing up on CNN’s special segment of Billionaires Who Care with Christiane Amanpour, it’s being distributed via monthly text reminder of reasons to leave Tony’s special coffee alone— last month you were told, “His donations allowed the doors of Planned Parenthood to remain open in developing nations such as Burkina Faso, and all he asks for in return is that his teammates do not finish his goddamn coffee.” 

Of course, because you all live for him sniffing out your mugs at morning meetings to discover the culprit, his reminders only lead to greater coffee theft as it, in turn, increases the redness in his face when he finds the morally corrupt heathenous criminal— who is usually Clint. 

In true Tony Stark fashion, though, his favorite way to remind you all, and the rest of the world, is through a gala. A gala where champagne flows like water, money is no object, extravagance is to be expected, and, as a member of the team, attendance is mandatory. 

At first, you hated the damn things. It’s not like you’ve ever cared about the private island one guest owns which another guest is so obviously jealous of, or if the deal to buy a chunk of land on the light side of the moon before that hippie Elon Musk usurps it all has successfully closed. 

But now? Now that you’ve learned how to direct the money those snots brag ostentatiously about into causes you truly care for with a couple little sly techniques, you fucking love the things. 

You and Natasha have a game, actually. Whose Shameless and Absolutely Disingenuous Flirting Will Lead to More Money Donated to (Insert Tony’s Latest Cause Here)? 

Natasha is the current titleholder as Smelly Von Oil Tycoon’s wife shooed you away before you could close the million dollar deal and Cowboy Hat McFast Food Franchise would have given up his entire company if Natasha kept batting her eyelashes at him. But in the end, just as every other time the two of you have played, you both felt like winners because the almost obscene amount of money was helping fund housing for Rohingya refugees living in Bangladesh. The competitive edge to it is just for entertainment. 

This time, though, seeing as this event is an auction and you are in no mood to flirt with red-faced old men with paper-thin skin, you have taken to auctioneering with Sam. 

Motioning to a projected photograph of a luxurious Paris hotel room with a view of the Eiffel Tower in your best Vanna White impression, you grin as brightly as you can. “And the last item Sam and I will be auctioning off together is a two-night stay at Plaza Athénée in Paris. First class airfare for two is included, as are two tickets to the Louvre. You’ve been to Paris, haven’t you, Sam?” 

“Why, yes, baby girl, I have,” he replies with a grin as broad as yours, the spotlight and his natural charm causing his deep brown eyes to sparkle like diamonds. You think for a second that you can actually hear Bucky scoffing in the audience. “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell, but I will say that it is called the City of Love for a reason.” 

“Of course, our unlucky-in-love Sam shared those kisses only with every bit of bread and cheese he came across but you can share it all with someone special.” At that, Sam elbows you gently in the ribs with a fond roll of his eyes. “We’re going to start the bidding at twenty-thousand dollars.”

Immediately, paddles shoot up and Sam begins calling out higher bids and paddle numbers while you lean your hip against the podium and take a long sip of your champagne which has since, unfortunately, gone lukewarm and flat. Your face pinches and you scan the crowd for a wandering waiter. 

Before you can, though, your head tilts just as you spot Bucky, a large button reading “BACHELOR #4” pinned to the lapel of his tux.

He’s laughing. Not openly and loudly like he usually does when the two of you are alone, but his shoulders are shaking and he’s grinning so the skin beside his eyes wrinkles. You think fleetingly that his cheeks might even be dusted in pink as he ducks his head. 

The sight makes you smile, too, and you set your champagne aside. It’s secondary now. 

“Congratulations to Mr. Baldwin and all the other winners of these wonderful vacations,” Sam says once the winner has been announced and ushered backstage. “Sadly, our time is up for the night.”

You nod and pick up your microphone again. “Yes, but you will be seeing Sam again tonight as a part of the Bachelor Auction. Give the crowd a spin, Sam, show them what they could be going on a date with.” 

Sam unbuttons his wine-colored tuxedo and spins slowly, a slight swing in his hips. He’s met with several wolf-whistles, a rose thrown on stage, and a brief retching noise courtesy of Clint, to which Sam replies with a wink and a scoffed, “The glory is too much to handle for the insecure and faint of heart, ain’t it, Barton? We got a doctor on retainer in case you pass out.” 

Sam holds out his elbow to help you down the stairs and you gratefully loop your arm through his, your other hand hoisting the hem of your dress above your ankles. 

You sigh after meeting one of the bid winners, smile falling from your lips the moment you turn away. “I should’ve bid on that Marrakech trip.” 

Sam cocks an eyebrow. He doesn’t seem to mind one bit that you have yet to release him and simply follows you as you head to the bar. “Enjoy it last time?” 

“You mean when I was there to locate stolen Chitauri weapons?” you let out a bark of sarcastic laughter. “Steve didn’t even let me glance in the relative direction of a souq when that was the only reason I volunteered.” 

“So that’s a no?” 

You take the fresh flute of champagne a waiter offers and nod your thanks. “That’s a hell fucking no.” A pathetic pout and, “I deserve to love Morocco.” 

“Makin’ that face at me won’t help your cause. Makin’ that face at Pervert Santa Claus over there,” he points to a man, rosy-cheeked with a white beard and wandering eyes, who you recognize as the winner of the trip. “That’ll get you what you want.”

You make a face, tongue sticking out as you gag, and set your glass atop the bar. “First of all, even the prospect of sex with me will make his heart give out.”

Sam laughs into his tumbler of whiskey and rolls his eyes.

You grimace openly when the eyes of an elderly man— his arm around a woman who looks to be barely in her twenties— linger a bit too long and smile when he visibly shrinks. “And B., I only flirt with them to get donations. I’d sooner never leave this tower again than get with one of these ‘I only donate money to boost my public image’ types.” 

He hums and a slow, lazy smile curves his lips. He nods his head in the direction of something behind you. “Barnes’ got a different ideology.”

As casually as you can, you turn your body to lean your elbows atop the bar and tilt your head ever so slightly to glance where Bucky is standing. 

Standing and laughing. How is he still laughing? 

Arching an eyebrow at the woman he speaks to, you lift your glass to your lips. “Doesn’t look like she fits the bill.” 

“You’re joking,” Sam laughs, shaking his head as he sets his elbows on the bar as well. His shoulder brushes yours and, despite the itchy fabric of his tuxedo, you don’t mind. “That’s Maris Scheufele.” 

Long, chestnut brown hair swept over one shoulder to keep her back bare, her gown is silky, liquid gold. Dripping in wealth.

You purse your lips and turn back to Sam. “Is that supposed to mean something to me?” 

“Chopard heiress.” 

“Chopard like—” with wide eyes, you point at the sapphire and diamond earrings borrowed from Pepper on your ears and the matching ring on your left index finger. “Like Cannes Film Festival Chopard? Like that Chopard?” 

“Yeah, that Chopard.” He has to stop from laughing at the look you offer him. He thinks he might see your skin turn green in a matter of minutes. “She’s more loaded than Cigarette-Breath Du Rideshare-App-CEO from the elephant benefit.” 

You manage a small smile and a quick roll of your eyes, only to have them once again land on Bucky and the Chopard heiress. Maris. 

You aren’t jealous— per se. Jealousy is an ugly emotion, after all. Childish, and inconsiderate, and rooted in insecurity. 

Sure, she’s cuddled up next to someone you’re in the midst of denying feelings for out of fear and the prospect of being undeserving. And, sure, she’s covered in diamonds and you’re usually covered in dried blood, dust, and dirt from HYDRA facilities. But you aren’t jealous. 

You know you’ve wasted your time, his efforts, and your emotions being anything but happy with Bucky. Chances lost never come around again, right? So you’ve made your peace with it. You’ve had to make your peace with it.

With how much you’ve messed up, how many chances you’ve lost. With how perfect she is and how perfect he looks laughing with her. 

Perfect. 

So perfect that your teeth grit and the grip you have on your champagne flute tightens.

“He’s gonna bring in the big bucks.” 

You snort. “I thought he had different ideologies.”

“He does. But you know she ain’t gonna let him get auctioned off to anyone else.” A corner of Sam's lips turn up in disgust as he, too, stares at them with little stealth. Nick Fury would be ashamed in you both. “Lookin’ at him like he’s a piece of jerky.” 

“Jerky?”

“Old, dried up beef.” He then hums in agreement with his own words. “Nasty, hundred-year old beef.” 

With a laugh— a laugh that has the cadence of a sob— you drop your head into your hands. 

You meet Bucky’s eyes when you pick your head up, his head tilted in silent question. Perhaps at your wet, ironic smile, perhaps at the pull of your eyebrows. 

You shake your head in response and it’s when he almost immediately returns to laughing at whatever Maris Scheufele is saying that you straighten with a frown. 

What the hell kind of name is that anyway? Maris.

“What the hell—” you pause to take the glass from Sam’s hands and polish off his whiskey. “What the hell is so funny?” 

The glass is snatched back. “Not you finishing my drink, that’s for sure.” 

Shrugging as you continue to stare at Bucky and Maris, you mumble, “Put the next one on my tab.” 

Sam snorts as he asks for another drink, facing you as he adds, “S’an open bar, you cheap ass.” 

Once you’ve been able to secure a fresh, much stronger drink for yourself, you loop your arm through Sam’s again and set your chin on his shoulder. Your noses nearly bump when he looks at you and you both laugh softly. “I fucked up, didn’t I?” 

“You did.” He yelps and laughs when you pinch his side, lightly knocking his head against yours. Gentle eyes meet yours as he says, “Not tryna be harsh, but you had him and you let him go.” 

“I know.” 

“He spent weeks moping about it, you spent weeks moping about it.” 

“I know.”

“It was miserable comforting both you idiots.” 

“Yeah, you’re the real victim here.” 

Despite your dry tone, he nods in agreement. “You could tell him right now. Get all this bullshit over with and out in the open.”

Just the idea makes your heart rate spike. “He might reject me. Exact revenge for what I did.” 

“Barnes is a lotta things. Greasy, geriatric, testy, fuckin’ annoying as shit—” Sam hisses when you pinch him again, “— but vindictive ain’t one of ‘em.” 

Before Sam can convince you to move even an inch from the part of the bar you’ve dubbed yours for the night, warm fingers wrap around your elbow and tap your arm five times in quick succession. A secret identification code. 

A secret identification code that makes you smile despite yourself. You lift your head from Sam’s shoulder and hope you don’t look too eager as Bucky leans back against the bar, facing you entirely. “Look who it is.” 

He waves vibranium fingers and grins, a bit of that thirties charm you’d heard so much about shining in his blue eyes as he looks at you. “Hi, sweetheart. Wilson,” he adds with a playfully curt nod, chuckling when Sam returns it. “You were great up there. Prettiest MC I’ve ever seen. Almost had me buyin’ the trip to Morocco to make up for the shit Steve put you through.”

You feel Sam shaking in silent laughter and sigh when you hear his whispered, “For fuck’s sake.” 

“Only ‘almost’?” you ask with a pout Bucky grins at and wide eyes that have him swallowing over a dry throat. “What does a girl have to do for you to actually bid?” 

He shakes his head after a moment of simply staring, chuckling. “These poor bastards don’t stand a chance against you, do they? They’d probably sign their entire companies over to you and not think twice about it.”

“Just doing my part to save the Amazon,” you shrug. “Like you’re doing with the Bachelor Auction.” 

“‘Bout that,” he begins as he straightens his jacket and tie— all black. You trace his jaw, sharp and angular, when he glances away for just a second. “How long d’you think it’ll take Stark to put me out of my misery when nobody bids on me?”

“I wouldn’t be so negative. I know of one person who’ll definitely bid on you.”

His lips quirk up on one end, eyes dreamy as his head tilts in indulgence. “Yeah? Who’s that?” 

“Your heiress.” 

Bucky doesn’t seem to notice Sam jabbing his elbow into your ribs and cocks an eyebrow in confusion. “My what?” 

Though you weren’t planning on replying, Tony’s voice over the speakers doesn’t allow Bucky to question you further and you heave a sigh of relief. He calls all the bachelors to the stage and Sam pulls his arm from yours, bumping your shoulders together before he departs just as Tony begins telling a story of his first bachelor auction and how much he went for. 

Bucky remains still, however. Leant against the bar, eyes on you. 

“Bachelor number 4,” you say, pointing at the button he wears. You smile softly. “You’re needed on stage.” 

That seems to jolt him out of whatever stupor he was lost in and he stands straight. He takes a step forward and pauses, so close you can feel the heat radiating from him and smell his subtle cologne. “Bid on me if no one else does.” 

“I won’t need to.” 

Natasha finds you just as the bidding begins and orders herself a drink. She doesn’t say much, simply looking at you as you stare at Bucky standing next to Steve and Sam, and nods to herself. She remains a quiet, comfortable presence until Steve is brought to centerstage and nearly every paddle in the room shoots up. “You tell him yet?” 

“Nope.” 

“Thought so.” She nods her head to her left and you follow the movement to where Maris sits, back straight as she, too, looks at Bucky— but she’s grinning, paddle poised to be raised. “Scheufele being a cock block?” 

You’re visibly surprised when you turn back to Natasha, her ginger hair falling in loose waves over her shoulders. “How did you— How the hell could you possibly know that?” 

With the crooked curve of blood red lips, she smiles. “I’m just that good. And Sam texted me about it ten minutes ago.”

She continues to watch you as the excited winner of a date with Steve rises from his seat. “He’s next.” 

“I know that.” 

“You gonna bid on him?” 

You snort, though unconvincingly, and shake your head. “And go against an heiress? I’ll save myself the embarrassment.” 

“Stark pays us buckets,” she tells you with a frown, picking a stray piece of lint off her silver dress. “You could afford to go against an heiress.”

Bucky’s eyes are narrowed as he looks over the crowd of people seated at their tables. The light bounces off diamonds and sequins, gold and shiny leather shoes. It stings his eyes, it makes him scowl. 

“And next, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on Bachelor Number 4,” Tony announces, turning a bit to glance at Bucky as he trudges over, not bothering to look a bit more appealing. “James Buchanan Barnes, truly the human equivalent of a cat.” 

Bucky openly glares at Tony now.

“James enjoys silence, brooding, eating like a fuckin’ horse, and telling the same story more than once,” Tony continues, ignoring the roll of Bucky’s eyes. “Cute, cuddly, and a little dangerous, we’ll start the bidding at one-thousand.” 

Three paddles shoot up. One from Maris, and two toward the center of the room. Your shoulders tense, Bucky’s relax.

“Okay, do I see eleven hundred?” 

Two paddles remain lifted until Maris shouts from her seat in a lilting voice, “Three thousand.” 

Your jaw clenches, Bucky grins. 

Tony set his hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “Alright, three thousand going once—” 

“Thirty-one hundred!” 

It feels as if the entire room turns in their seats to gape at you, but you try to pay them no mind. You, wearing your jealousy and determination like armor, stand at the bar with an empty glass in your hand, waiting for Tony to call your bid. But before he can— 

“Thirty-two!”

Your eyebrows furrow as you look at Maris. “Thirty-three!” 

“Four thousand!” She’s smiling. A perfectly manicured eyebrow is raised in challenge. 

You see red. “Forty-three hundred.” 

“Six thousand!” 

“Sixty-five hundred!” 

“Seventy-five hundred!”

When you look at the stage in a bit of a panic, Tony grins expectantly at you and Bucky— Well, you don’t think Bucky’s ever looked so shocked in all the time you’ve known him. But when his eyes go from Maris to meet yours, you find yourself yelling, “Ten thousand!” 

The room goes silent, or maybe you’ve just tuned it all out, and Tony is shaking his head in amusement. “Ten thousand going once.” 

You turn toward Maris as she sits and tosses her paddle onto the table. “Ten thousand going twice.”

You face the stage again. Bucky’s expression is unreadable. “Sold to our beautiful teammate in blue.” 

A bright spotlight shines on you and you fight the urge to run from the room, from the Tower, from New York, and give your best smile. 

— 

It’s four in the morning, all the lights on the residential floors of the Tower have been turned off, and the world is peaceful. But your mind continues to race. 

You sit at the kitchen counter, container of Sam’s leftover cheesecake from your lunch out with him open before you. You twirl a fork between your fingers and stare at nothing in particular, your soft breaths the only sound in the room. 

You’d changed out of your dress hours ago, washed off your makeup and taken the pins out of your hair. You could barely meet the eyes of your reflection out of fear of judgement and you didn’t ask FRIDAY to dim the lights or lock your door just in case she laughed at you. 

Tony had yet to talk to you about paying the ten grand you bid on Bucky and you left the ballroom before anyone could so much as snicker. You knew you couldn’t hide forever, you just needed the night to come to terms with your own stupidity. 

Yet as you prop your chin upon your palm and sigh, you think you might need a day or two, too. 

Quiet steps down the hall are made purposefully louder as they grow closer so as to not startle you, the lights dim as bulbs flicker on to about ten-percent of their full brightness. You fear your heartbeat might be audible to everyone in a ten mile radius at the sight of his blue eyes, messy brown hair, and wrinkled black t-shirt, and take a deep breath through parted lips in a futile attempt to calm it down.

He offers you a small smile and walks to the fridge. “You want some water?” 

You shake your head— even though he can’t see you. “No, I’m fine.” 

There’s a beat of silence and you take a breath to steady yourself. “Buck, I think we should talk.” 

He takes out a glass bottle of water for himself and shuts the fridge, leaning against the sink. He’s still smiling. “I know.” 

“I—” 

“I’m not gonna hold you to this thing,” he interjects, rolling the bottle between his hands. He watches as you sit up straight and set your fork down. “I know you made the bid just to donate the money and save me from that married heiress—” 

“Married?” you repeat to yourself. 

“And you’ve made it clear you just want to be friends,” he continues, undeterred. “So it’s okay. Hell, I’ll pay for half of it so I’ll feel like I’ve actually done somethin’ to save the sea turtles.” 

“The Amazon.” 

“Right, the Amazon,” he amends with a quiet laugh. He takes a sip of the water and sets the botte aside. “So whaddya say, huh? We’ll go half and half, help this cause out a little, and you don’t have to go on a date with me.” 

“Bucky, you don’t understand—” 

“No, no, I get it,” he says, walking around the narrow strip of granite separating you to sit on the stool beside yours. Features soft but a little sad, he shrugs as warmth rolls off him in waves. “I told you to bid on me in case no one else did and you saw how much more Steve went for. You tried to raise the bids on me and got stuck since those billionaires didn’t want to shell out more than ten grand on the Winter Soldier. I get it!” 

“That’s not why I did it, Bucky. Not at all.” 

He lowers his eyes to his hands, staring at mismatched palms, and says nothing. 

“Honestly, I—” You stop yourself when it feels as if your heart’s lodged itself in your throat and struggle to swallow over it. “When I saw that Chopard heiress talking to you and laughing with you, and when she bid on you and almost won that date, I— Something happened.” 

He looks at you now, eyebrows pulled together. “What happened?” 

“I— I don’t know. I guess I was a little jealous,” you say with a laugh only to shake your head. There’s a subtle sting behind your eyes, at the tip of your nose, and you pray to every deity you can think of to stop any tears. “No, I was very, very jealous. You two looked so happy and perfect and I wanted to scream, and cry, and— Fuck, all I could think about is how much time, and energy, and emotion I’ve wasted pushing you away so neither one of us ends up heartbroken when I already am.” 

You sigh, unable to meet his gaze as he gapes at you, his mouth hanging open as you laugh mirthlessly. “It probably seems so stupid to you and I know you’ve moved on, but, holy hell, I wish you still had some kind of crush on me because I’m dying here, Buck. I mean I just spent ten thousand dollars to make you go on a date with me.” 

“You did,” he agrees. He’s smiling when you manage to look at him, “You spent ten thousand dollars on me when you could’ve just had me for free this entire time.” 

He grasps your chin between his flesh index finger and thumb and jostles you a little, gaze so adoring. “And what punk ass told you I moved on from you? Huh? That same goof who said it’s just a crush?” 

He leans forward and pauses just before his lips meet yours, as if waiting for you to pull away only for you to close the distance first. 

What starts off as just a light brush of your lips against his quickly turns into a deep, hungry kiss that quiets your mind and forces your heart into overdrive. The warmth of it reaches your toes and every hair follicle, especially as both his hands cup your face while your fingers tangle through his hair, the rasp of his stubbly beard against your soft, sensitive skin stealing your breath even more.

You pull away first and your voice is small, a bit hoarse as you ask, “So you still like me?” 

He sets his forehead against yours and his lips pull into a smile. “I’d say it’s a li’l more than that, sweetheart.” 

It’s hours later when the sun is up, the cheesecake slice is long forgotten, and Bucky’s pulled you onto his stool to straddle his lap, your lips swollen and a little painful, that you groan in embarrassment. 

He immediately leans away from your neck and looks up at you in concern, lips full and cherry red. “What? What’s wrong?” 

“I have to pay Tony ten thousand dollars.” 

Chuckling, he rolls his eyes and presses a kiss to your chin. “I’ll pay it.” 

“Then I’ll owe you ten thousand dollars.” You withhold a moan when he nips at a part of your neck that has your hips rolling into his, the hitching of his breath felt more than heard. “That— that just transfers the problem.”

You feel him smile, arm tightening around you. “I think I know of a way you can pay me back.”

“Sounds like you just discovered the world’s oldest profession.” 

A punishing nip under your jaw and you gasp as he laughs. “I’m still all for going half and half to save the sea turtles.” 

“The Amazon.” 

He sighs and leans back. “Fuckin’ Christ. Someone needs to save the fuckin’ turtles already, then.”

[brick-brooke]

ADO for Ellie!!! :)

I am vewy tired but i love my friends

A: Aptitude

1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young? music babieee. she didn’t start seriously studying music until she was like 10, but she always had a song in her heart. she also likes to practice calligraphy! and uhhh she really does have a knack for manipulation whoops

2. what activities have they participated in? activities is very broad lmao. she’s performed for audiences big and small, regularly writes her own music, shopping sprees, and has visited the college’s underground fighting club because she thinks its funny lmao

3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for? probably sword fighting. she wasn’t particularly strong growing up, but fencing piqued her interest when she started college. she thinks great sword fighters are graceful and powerful and thats what she wants to be.

4. what things are they bad at? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING she’s perfect lmao. well she’ll never tell anyone but she’s not the best at cooking, doesn’t really have any street smarts, and she won’t really realize when she’s gone too far with her shenanigans. money management is a big one as well lmao. and she’s probably the worst at apologies. 

5. what is their most impressive talent? have i answered too many questions with music related things haha. well her skill with a lugging a cello around on the field is nothing to sneeze at, but her greatest asset is the ability to do almost anything in high heels.

D: Decoration1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name? give her that rococo style, drapes everywhere, lots of windows, flowers, every room has a watercolor art piece, wine racks, and lounging couches!

2. how would they decorate their child’s room? probably the same way until her child expresses the desire for something different. she would leave lots of instruments in hopes he kid picks one up haha

3. how do they decorate their own room? BIG BED with one of those draped canopies. large walk in closet.

4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear? :))))) so much gold jewelry. like too much. like she really shouldn’t be flaunting it this much. she might be mugged or kidnapped y’know??? tall high heeled boots, skirts, long sleeves petticoat/jackets?

5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends? she is a trend setter. she decides when a trend dies and what the new one is. its just because she always looks perfect!

O: Optimism1. are they optimistic or pessimistic? i dunno? i’d say more optimistic than pessimistic. she needs to be in charge of a situation so she can’t dwell on a lot of things. thinking about bad things puts her in a poor mood, so she’ll ignore those things until she’s alone or something. its been rough lately tho.

2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others? not really, i think she might actually piss people off with her occasional ‘idc’ behavior. not open about her true feelings, and definitely doesn’t thrust it on others.

3. are they good at giving advice? haha no. she’s the worst

4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them? demerian!!! the goodest boy. his happiness does rub off on her sometimes :

5. were they always optimistic? ehhhh… when she was at college learning about new and exciting things and happily engaged. but now its kinda just ‘alright gotta deal with this now’ with not really an end in sight.

[riboku]

How do you feel about Voltron's new season?

christ why would you ask this lmao it’s not like i post my opinions on here on a regular basis??? anyway this gives me a good opportunity to rant tho so

1. HAHA okay let’s just get the big fucking issue out right here but i was absolutely mad with how they marketed this season based on lgbt rep! this has been said before (and probably better lmao) by other people, but what they did was in extremely poor taste and is pretty low tbh. they hyped up and marketed that voltron would have lgbt rep in this season, and hyped up adam as a character, then were so incredibly vague about it and didn’t confirm anything on screen and killed adam off lmao.

anywAY this ended up fucking long and i threw in some positives i enjoyed from the season at the end of this post, but this is 95% a big fucking long rant about the issues i have with this season so it’s going under a read more!!

and like, before i get into this more i’ve also seen people mad about people getting mad which is ??? but the most common things i’m seeing people saying are ‘stop being mad your ship didn’t happen!!!,’ ‘it doesn’t matter what happened shiro is still gay so there is still rep,’ ‘this is NOT queerbaiting guys! -insert screenshot of dictionary definition-,’ and 'they’re at WAR guys people die during a war’

okay. one lmao how tf did this get to a point where people think it is a ship issue because it’s not. idgaf about shipping or who ends up with who, i will likely be indifferent regardless! do not give a shit! not about shipping! nobody is talking about shipping??? also this could have LITERALLY been avoided mostly by the insertion of a few words. they could have gone with something as simple as 'if you do this, the wedding’s off. i won’t be here when you get back’ bam. insta confirmation! no vagueness there! and then like, not unecessarily kill a gay character off for no reason lol. what happened here is an issue with largely how this was marketed vs how they delivered. they marketed the fact they’d have lgbt rep pretty extensively. and adam! they talked about how we were going to meet adam this season. hyped him and him and shiro’s former relationship up in their promo materials and posters. like, this doesn’t happen on its own lmao. this was a conscious marketing decision that they went with beforehand knowing that they were not going to confirm anything on screen and knowing that they were going to kill adam off. and like, if you need an analogy to get this??? let’s say some fast food place does a whole campaign on how their burgers are made of REAL beef. maybe they don’t specifically say 100% beef, maybe they do, w/e, but they hype the fact that their burgers are real beef and not fake stuff like crazy and their consumers hop on that. then you get there and it’s like. 35% beef. people are mad! is it still made of beef? well, yeah. but they have misrepresented themselves a bit here and probably should have never said anything in the first place. bad business move. and as far as hyping up adam??? that’s like coming up with a new product line and deciding to axe it. BUT ADVERTISING IT ANYWAY. lol. and then people are upset with the company when they go to buy it. literally does not make sense. like, regardless of what you expected to go down with these characters or how you feel about them or literally anything, this was a conscious decision on their part and they should have not marketed it like this.

as far as shiro still being confirmed gay, yes that is true and great! but it still wasn’t confirmed on screen and not the issue at hand here! the issue is still how they marketed lgbt rep for this season without really delivering and killed off a gay character without reason. if your issue is the use of the word queerbaiting then lmao okay, whatever, maybe it’s not the most 100% accurate use of the word idc but that is a semantics issue and is deflecting the issue at hand here. like if you wanted to sum up the issue with all this in one fucking word that would be pretty accurate and the closest thing to describe what happened! like come on guys i work in advertising but this??? is not that hard of a concept to understand. they utilized lgbt rep in their marketing for this season. if you’re marketing something, that content has to be targeted towards a certain audience. if you are marketing lgbt rep, your target audience is likely going to be - shocker - the lgbt community lmao. AND FINALLY if you’re going with the 'people die in war’ thing like. okay. yup. that happens. from a marketing perspective though, it’s still dumb to advertise a character and then kill them off. like, if you’re using a cHARACTER in your ads you uh. generally expect people to feel something for that character lmao otherwise there is no point, and seeing as how many fanfics and fanart and shit popped up of adam before the season even aired??? def a lot of attachment there. so literally if they had done this with any other character it would have been stupid? but doing this to a gay character is a whole other mess of worms and is in very poor taste! fucking stop killing off gay characters for no good reason, it’s a gross trope with a long history behind it! also unless something is plot related and done well, there is literally no point for killing off your characters lmao. doesn’t matter if it’s war, it’s just shock value at that point. that scene was a couple of seconds at most, and literally nothing about the season would have changed without it. moot point. this is not a case of character death that has moved the plot significantly or significantly affected the story or the character.

like, as a queer person i’m mad and very disappointed. do i still like the show and its characters? yeah. did i enjoy the season? yeah. will i still watch it? yeah. but this whole thing was still a fucking mess lol. that being said, some positives:

2. lmao ok that gameshow episode gave me serious ergo proxy flashbacks to when they did the whole 'i’m suddenly and inexplicably on a magical gameshow hosted by a weird entity with my life on the line??’ deal

3. hunk development???? good and it’s about time, star of the season tbh. i really hope they continue with the diplomat angle for him!

4. pleasantly surprised by ezor and zethrid, now let’s hope they’re not fucking dead lmao

5. atlas was uh. weird? weird.

6. granted i stayed up all night to watch this so my perception by the point i got there was uhhhh but the finale was odd and kinda fell flat, especially in comparison to how much of an impact last season’s had. that being said, the season overall was pretty enjoyable?

7. sorry but during the whole time they were drifting through space in their lions i just kept thinking 'where is kaltenecker tho’ and then at first i thought acxa had went with them so then i was wondering where tf she was too and my sleep deprived brain’s beautiful answer to that question was 'wait what if acxa is with kaltenecker???’ yeah.

8. matt’s new design looks gr8 but it looked pretty familiar and again, sleep deprived brain was like 'oh my god he looks like discount space judeau’ so hope you know that

9. V E R O N I C A also i really super enjoyed the earth team!!! like idk how i feel about james yet because they went pretty hard on painting him as a jackass as a child lmao so i’m positive but also on the fence about him, but i adored the others and i hope we see more of all of them!! ALSO ROMELLE loved her to death too. and the cosmic wolf. yes.

10. okay so as soon as shiro got his new arm my first thought was 'i bet him and sendak are going to have a floaty arm showdown’ and i was very glad to be right

[silverlovesmadi]

Star Trek: Discovery

"Despite Yourself" review/rant/analysis

It just annoys the hell out of me the show would write such a disturbing, sadistic and traumatic storyline for two already very traumatised characters of color.

Ash because of losing his entire crew because of the war, being a pow for 7 months, being subjected to some fucked up frankenstein like medical experiment and being forced to deal with Voq’s memories because of it. Not to mention all these creepy, disgusting, triggering convo’s he had to have with L'Rell because he didn’t know and understand wtf was going with him.

Michael because of her parents being murdered by Klingons when she was a little girl, her almost dying in the process, almost dying again because of some Vulcan extremist, being raised by Sarek to surpress her emotions at all times and aim for ubercompetence, losing her captain and some of her crew in the war and being used as a scapegoat for a war the Klingons started, realizing Sarek was a fraud of a father and was never gonna validate her nor admit he was the one who was wrong, waisting 7 years of her life in the process, having to go undercover in the mirror universe as some facist captain persona and being forced to kill one of her former crew members out of self defense, knowing that even if the war is won and she survives, she goes back to jail for life etc.).

There’s angst, there’s nuance, there’s compelling drama, there’s conflict, there’s adventurous and realistic sci-fi. And then there’s OVERdoing it with the shock value because the mainstream loves it on Game of Thrones (a show I personally couldn’t care less about) and thinking that’s the way to make the show as popular as GOT.

I should’ve known, because they’ve been overdoing it since the beginning not just by killing off Georgiou and Landry, but also the explicitly violent ways in which they killed them off for shock value. And the oneliners the bridge crew always get, who are obviously only there to fullfill some “diversity” quota to satisfy viewers, have started to get annoying as fuck too. We get it, you’re never gonna give them proper storylines, because you don’t really want too.

I really love Michael and Ash together, because they have such amazing and natural chemistry, which in large part is thanks to Sonequa and Shazad. There’s a always a very strong sense of trust, protectiveness and loyalty between the two. You can tell they really wanna be with each other and wanna look out for one another. Something they aren’t always able to do, since they are expected to go out and put they’re lives on the line everyday. It’s because they have and care so much about each other they’re some what able to face and deal with fighting in this war, and for now this mirror universe too, despite their mutual trauma’s. They help each other get through it as best as they both can.

But I just wish the show didn’t have to make Michael and Ash each others love interests, if the price they had to pay for their relationship was having to go down this depressing ass road. Why couldn’t they just let them stay friends?

I’m not in the mood for Michael having to face the fact that there’s a fucking Klingon inside Ash somewhere while she had a whole (and her very first too!!) intimate serious relationship with him. It’s gonna traumatise her even more. But we all know she’ll just suck it up again and keep going, because that’s what she’s so good at right? Sucking it up, being strong and sacrificing herself for the war.

And what type of fuckery is it that Michael, who is known as the killer of T'Kuvma, who Voq and T'Rell were so loyal too, had to be the woman Ash had to fall in love with while Voq was inside his body all this time. Like what? Are Voq and L'Rell gonna try and kill Michael out of revenge? Traumatising her even more?

Since Michael still doesn’t know about this whole fucking mess of a medical experiment L'Rell and Voq subjected Ash to, is she gonna see the man she had her first ever serious relationship with, shared everything with, something she already struggled with so much to open herself up to in the beginning, who promised to protect her at her at all costs, try and snap her neck like Voq did with Hugh? Something we really did not need to see since surviving that injury is not gonna make us unsee it. If it is even true that Hugh survives.

Is Ash gonna try and fight Voq internally somehow, to prevent him from getting to Michael? Probably having to sacrifice himself to kill Voq for good to safe Michael and the Discovery crew, killing off character of colour number #3?

I’m just looking at the writers like, when is enough ENOUGH?? How the fuck is Michael gonna trust anything or anyone ever? 10 steps forward, 50 steps back.

This storyline is so oversaturated with angst, trauma and suffering upon angst, trauma and suffering, just so the writers could introduce “the Klingon as human” storyline, but completely without nuance and the consideration of the implications for doing this with a cast full of poc.

There is already an abundance of media where in characters of colour, especially black female characters are subjected to traumatic and tragic storylines. So the Discovery writers aren’t doing anything “innovative” here. It’s lazy, predictable and quite frankly racist, sexist and homophobic, idc what anybody says and idc what anybody is gonna throw at me for keeping it real. Come at me. Art and media is here to be criticised. Especially if you’re “trying” to represent us.

I’m really curious as to whom the writers think they’re tonedeaf way of writing is aimed at. Who do they want as an audience? Because it seems to me they have no clue themselves.

I’m done seeing Michael suffer, I’m done. I'm done with the whole: "Ash was raped by L'Rell, only for the writers to go: oh sike! It was consensual after all, because they're Voq's memories, so Ash is perfectly fine!!!🙃🙃🙃".

It seems like the writers are less about the storyline/creating groundbreaking sci-fi and more about the trauma said storyline creates and causes, because according to them the drama comes frome the trauma, and everything for “interesting” television, right? It doesn’t feel like watching an adventurous, exciting, fresh, modern take on an iconic sci-fi show anymore, but another episode of Black Mirror that just won’t fucking end.

And you know what the hypocrisy of it all is? A majority of tv critics where so overly critical of the show’s use of the f-word (something that never bothered me because i know it wasn’t a big deal), which happened in literally one scene of 1 episode, accusing it of trying too hard to be “dark and edgy”, and that it completely ruined the show and the heart of Star Trek, but the same critics are completely eating up and loving this “Ash and Voq share the same body” storyline since Ash was introduced. Because apparently this storyline is not dark and sadistic at all, it’s just “really cool sci-fi!!!”

I wonder why that is. And who even remembers the f-word scene now?

[groundramon]

Homph I finished tri and I wrote down my thoughts as I was watching because I had too many funny shitposts and nobody to share them with bc charlie hasn’t watched tri yet

PS i wont be reblogging tri spoilers (besides MINOR stuff like, digivolutions of already confirmed digivolution lines or non-spoilery shitposts, but I’ll try to tag shitposts as #tri spoilers anyways [digivolutions specific to tri ill tag as well but not ones that were already basically confirmed]) for a while so ur safe here!  I’m just gonna like everything/most things because then I can rb em to hisyaryumon lmao (also u should check out hisyaryumon....its me n charlie’s digimon blog)

EP 1:

- ok. alright. ok. good. they’re dealing with kari’s emotions now instead of just. nothing.  ok. alright. cool.  Still dont like how obscure/”artsy” they’re being with it, this is digimon not kagerou project, but ok.

- Also. I stand by tk and kari being one of the few good straight ships in digimon.  just saying.

- kari: this is my fault... me: god damn it shut up you little brat also me: god relatable ALSO me: ill take whatever display of emotions i can get

- I love how nobody believes tai is dead like.  They’re upset and worried but they’re also like “nah. he cant be. that fucking asshole just left us in our time of need” (actually only matt is the last one)

- Gabumon i would die for you also im crying and I think that’s the first time tri managed to make me fucking CRY

EP 2:

- I had thoughts but then the 02 kids happened and I entered another plane of reality.  I don’t feel real right now

- the only one I can remember is evil!gennai being a dumbass and being like “SUFFER AND SQUIRM YOU PATHETIC HUMANS AS YOU FIGHT OVER THE LAST SEAT” 1. humans are KNOWN for their ability to care for others you dumb obvious fuck and 2. is. is the entire tube going? because that tube can fit too people if they squish.  This isn’t a joke I’m serious it can.

- oh yeah also when i saw whomstever the fuck his name is (adult guy who i love but fuck names) and he was all bloodied i was like “its a cold day in hell when i see blood in digimon” (I think there was blood in an earlier ep but shh idc)

EP 3:

- didn’t nishijima start off as a fucking life coach to these kids.  What the fuck he was supposed to help them find a career not emotionally scar them by bloodily dying in front of one of them

- im realizing that the reason hackmon was always in his cloak, in the shadows, standing still is that they cannot animate him in any normal position for the life of him.  I drew him with better anatomy when i was 14 and didn’t have a tablet.  No seriously, look:

I didn’t say it wasn’t bad, you guys are just underestimating how bad the anatomy on this poor creature is.  Why cant ppl draw dracomon or hackmon correctly imma cry

- ordinemon has the best reaction faces

the best part about these two screenshots is that they literally cut one to the other, first the first one to the second one and then it cuts back to the first one.  They were really proud of these stupid ass expressions.

- I started overcoming my dissociation shock from the second episode and my hypercritical mind was analyzing the shit out of everything that happened (it is Not happy) but then evil!gennai called kari and evil goddess and idk if he’s exaggerating to make her feel bad or if she’s literally a fucking god of chaos and destruction and either way im like

she did kinda like.  Watch wizardmon die, watch tai die, watch gatomon get absorbed.  The dark ocean is just a metaphor for depression and honestly if 02 wasn’t all over the fucking place I think Kari would’ve had some pretty decent development in it.  Actually you know what, I’m using that as an angle to approach Tri at now, wish me luck bc i might actually give it more leeway now

EP 4:

- I’m not dissociating but I forgot to say anything again and I already forgot what happened

- Cant believe mei is fucking dead

EP 5:

- I like to imagine that Tai got there like a few minutes ago, but he was like “well damn guess yall figured it out without me.  alright ill just. see if I need to do anything” and then meicoomon was Still Bad so he waited for when she struck just to make the most badass entrance possible.  Fucking extra ass bitch

- I forgot to write anything again but uhhh I wasn’t satisfied so anyways lets just get into the Juicy Details

Originally I was actually planning to be kinder to Tri than I expected.  Was very invested during it.  ‘Round the end of the last ep I realized hmmm no this isn’t working out.  Where are the 02 kids.  You should’ve brought them in to save the day.  That would’ve been SO cool and SO fun.  Fucking cowards.

god I’m kinda tired so I’m going to address a couple things I still had problems with, note that this isn’t everything it’s just everything I felt comfortable yelling about without rewatching past eps.  Like I forgot nishijima was all bloodied and presumably died in the last part until they brought it up and I was like “????” ALSO DID THE LADY WHO WAS HIS PARTNER OR W/E KILL HERSELF WITH THE GUN SHE FOUND, I JUST REALIZED LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THIS THAT SHE FOUND A GUN AND THEN I THINK IT CUT TO BLACK AND I’M

DID SHE FUCKING KILL HERSELF WHAT THE FUCK

anyways my problems:

1. They did joe. really dirty.  I’ll write a more proper rant on this sometime later (mostly bc charlie is MUCH better at talking about joe than I am) but basically I can tell you that his character development in the movies squandered his OG character development.  He’s basically an entirely different person.  Like Tri joe isn’t bad, besides being largely neglected (yes he has a whole half a movie to himself, no that doesn’t make up for it all), its just...not OG joe.  He’s a fine character just not the same character, and its NOT fine when you put the two together.

2. THEY DID THE 02 KIDS EVEN DIRTIER IM SO BITTER sorry you nostalgia-blind, money-hungry fucks at bandai, but the 02 cast is PART OF THE ADVENTURES UNIVERSE.  The only people who hate 02 are ones who like the characters but hate the mess of the storyline at the end, or are completely irrational and elitist about their love of the digimon series and would greatly re-evaluate their opinions if they watched the original series and 02 back to back.  They couldn’t even show them in some kind of group montage at the end??? Standing in the background when they call Mei???  Why couldn’t they call mei from a home phone also, but that’s a less important problem idc that much.  It was a cute scene besides the lack of 02 characters.  Whatever.  AND THE PROBLEM IS LIKE kari and tk?  This entire time???  Were like “oh they disappeared. oops” instead of being frantically searching for their lost friends???  Like i get tk and kari probably have fucking ptsd and can’t express any emotions because they watched important people die in front of their eyes at an incredibly young age but also 1. they didn’t address the ramifications of ptsd, so fuck that theory/excuse and 2. THAT??? WOULD ONLY MAKE THEM LOOK HARDER??? and put on a brave face as they look, but inside they’re so scared and so worried.  Not just “oh sweet, they were found/saved, theyre in the hospital but that’s fine” like WHAT theyre fucking assholes if that’s what they’d canonically do lmao.  God I am SO bitter over the ENTIRE thing with the 02 kids, it would’ve been BETTER if they were deleted from the fucking canon entirely.  Would I have still been bitter?  Yes.  But at least I wouldn’t be madder at TK and Kari too.

3. I stand 100% by the notion that Digimon is not and will never be cut out to be an adults’ franchise.  It wasn’t designed for adults, and it can’t be skewered towards adults.  These particular characters were designed for kids to relate to and find entertaining.  They do not work when placed into an adult setting.  Like, can you imagine a character like Ed from FMA going to the Digimon world?  I guess in a way that’s just Marcus but like.  Just imagine the FMA cast in Digimon Adventure.  It doesn’t work.  Digimon Tri is basically that except real.  Also Data Squad was darker than Adventure so my joke doesn’t even work.

I guess my primary point is that Tri isn’t mature enough of a setup for an adult audience.  It puts a focus on being “complex” and “philosophical” instead of working within Digimon’s constraints and making something good and adult out of that.  Like!  Digimon is a fucking TOY COMMERCIAL.  Don’t give me messages about the futility of human life.  I want bad puns and emotional characters.  That’s what Digimon has ALWAYS been, and ideally always will be.  Tri could’ve made itself more mature by dealing with the ramifications of the Digital World’s events, how it affected the kids psychologically and dealing with healing old scars.  It would’ve been a more mature take on a story we loved and would use things we loved about the story already - the fact that it took so much time exploring characters’ emotions and was surprisingly mature for the time - to make itself better.  You need to take the aspects that drew adults to the show and amplify them, not just slap on a complex story and unfunny dialogue and be like “oh this is fine, right?”

It’s not that Digimon can’t exist as an adult property, its just that if it repeats what Tri did, it’s got no merit and in my eyes the franchise is dead.  If it survives I guess I’ll be happy that people can still enjoy it but I find it unsustainable and unsatisfying to fans of the older series.  Tri is just a fuckfest of highly specific nostalgia that tries too hard to appeal to old fans without capturing what made the original series so magical, and in part thats because the original series WASN’T FOR ADULTS.  I don’t know about the Digimon Story games, bc they’re T-rated so perhaps they’re a better take on an adult Digimon story than Tri?  But you either need to make your own characters and lore specifically for an adult-oriented Digimon season, or perish.  Also, please make it a series and not a group of movies.  Getting four eps every 6-9 months was hell.

I stand by saying Appmon is a more faithful Digimon season than Tri to Digimon’s original spirit.  I believe it holds more potential for success than Tri and better embodies the spirit of the older Digimon seasons.  It’s dumb, its corny, it has horrible puns, but I LOVE it because it also has a deep dark story and emotional moments.  If you dislike Tri and you agree with things I said that make it unlikeable, I highly recommend giving Appmon a chance - if you watch a few episodes and think “oh yeah, I guess this is decent” you’re going to like it.  It’s everything Digimon has always been and hopefully always will be, just with a different concept.  And hopefully the end of the series doesn’t leave a sour taste in my mouth and I have to redact this statement haha since I’m not done with it yet, but I’ve heard good things about it so I’m hoping not so.

Overall, if you watch Tri, don’t get your hopes up.  It resolves everything okay-ish but it’s a pretty forgettable anime on its own and simply doesn’t work as part of the Digimon franchise.

I am, however, pretty interested in what evil!gennai said at the end about Diaboromon and Daemon.  It raises interesting questions about the timeline too.  We know Daemon is in the dark ocean, so perhaps that’s a hint at a future project?  (They did confirm a future project btw, in conjunction with tri being over)  But what about Diaboromon?  I dont believe that Our War Game (I think thats what its called?) took place after Tri, based on the outfits and ages and stuff, but I also don’t remember the movies that well.  Could Diaboromon still be out there too?  It’s interesting.

However, because of the lackluster performance of Tri, I don’t have my hopes up and I really hope that this “next project” goes in a different direction.  Although I guess if they include the 02 kids, I’ll be somewhat less salty...

Side note, did they ever explain why the gennais went evil?  Like ?  That’s a pretty important thing.  The gennais helped SAVE the human world in 02.  And I get that apparently Tri is ignoring 02′s ending but still.  It’s shitty, because Gennai was still a good guy in the original too (and also they cant just keep is younger look and act like 02 never happened)  MAYBE its something I missed but I dont think so.  God there’s just.  So much wrong with Tri.  I’m very displeased and very bitter and I wanna get back to Appmon asap.

It’s got good moments, its got bad moments, I dont know, I don’t care.  There’s nothing wrong with you if you like it, there’s nothing wrong with you if you don’t, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you flip flop and are split like me.  I just wish Tri fulfilled its potential instead of becoming a boring mess.

[swedna]

The US government is sharpening its antitrust scrutiny of Big Tech. In a sign that formal inquiries could be forthcoming, the Justice Department and Federal Trade Commission last week divvied up antitrust oversight for Apple Inc., Amazon.com Inc., Facebook Inc. and Alphabet Inc.’s Google. While the timing caught some by surprise, the companies have been preparing for this moment for a while, hiring lawyers and lobbyists and publicly making their case. History may be on their side: Corporate breakups are a significant, and rare, undertaking for the US government.

The last major breakup of a monopoly was AT&T in 1982. Microsoft was ordered split up by a federal judge in 2000 after the Justice Department sued the software company in 1998, a decision that was reversed on appeal.In the past few years, there has been a groundswell of calls to at least rein in, if not break up, technology companies that are seen by some as having become too big and powerful in many ways.

US Senator Elizabeth Warren has made perhaps the most detailed case for breaking up and regulating the four companies, but the Massachusetts Democrat is not alone in her aggressive views on the industry. Any formal investigation will take a long time. Government scrutiny of Microsoft lasted years.

As all sides dig in, here’s a look at some of the issues the government could home in on as it builds its case, and some of the ways the companies might argue their way out.

APPLE

The Case: Though perhaps best known for the iPhone, Apple’s vulnerability is the App Store, which supports tools and games for mobile devices and increasingly holds the key to the company’s growth. Apple and Google control more than 95% of all mobile app spending by consumers in the US, meaning that most developers must work with them to reach millions of smartphone users. Spotify Technology SA is among those that have long complained about the 30% cut Apple takes of each app, claiming it amounts to an effective tax on competitors. Some smaller developers sued Apple this week, claiming the App Store suppresses competition. The European Union is already preparing to look into the case and Warren, in her proposal, said the App Store should be separated from the rest of Apple because its own apps compete with those of outside developers.

Last month the Supreme Court ruled that a large antitrust case, regarding App Store pricing, could proceed.

The Defence: Chief Executive Officer Tim Cook is adamant that Apple is “not a monopoly” in any way. He points to its share of the smartphone market in the U.S., which is only about 30% and is even lower on PCs. ''We don’t have a dominant position in any market,” he said in an interview Tuesday with CBS. Apple has long sought to distinguish itself from the rest of big tech, from providing tighter security on its hardware and software to highlighting that it doesn’t monetize users’ data. Regarding the App Store, Apple recently added a new section to its website to show the benefits it provides to developers, such as reaching a huge global audience and handling payment and identity details, thereby taking friction out of the sign-up process.

Apple, along with Google, has also pointed out its ability to filter out fake apps and malicious software, making its store more secure.

FACEBOOK

The Case: Facebook has received a barrage of government criticism over the past year due to the sheer amount of data it collects on some 2 billion users and its control over content posted on the platform. Digital advertising, where Facebook and Google together control about 60% of spending in the US, is also an area where regulators might seek to base a case. Warren and Representative David Cicilline, the Democratic chairman of the House’s antitrust panel, have suggested that Facebook’s acquisitions of Instagram and WhatsApp might need to be unwound. Chris Hughes, one of the company’s co-founders, recently wrote at length why he thought Facebook is a monopoly run by a chief executive officer whose “influence is staggering.”

The Defence: Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg has said he welcomes regulation, but that breaking up the company wouldn’t address legislators’ privacy and data concerns. In fact, Facebook argues that its size actually enables it to do the things that regulators want to see, such as better policing of content, which would be much harder if Instagram or WhatsApp were separate companies. Furthermore, in an age where the government is concerned about the rise of China, Facebook argues that the US needs its big tech companies. Breaking up Facebook would simply clear the way for Chinese tech companies, which don’t share American values, to step in and dominate, Zuckerberg has said. As for digital advertising, Facebook notes that it doesn’t even lead the market.

EMarketer pegs its share at 22% of the U.S. market in 2019. Facebook’s $55 billion in advertising revenue last year was less than half of Google’s. And, other social media companies are growing in key demographics, like Snapchat, which said earlier this year that it now reaches 90% of 13- to 24-year-olds in the US.

GOOGLE

The Case: Google appears to be the company that’s facing the most serious antitrust scrutiny now, after the FTC closed a two-year investigation in 2013 without any action. The company has a large or a majority market share in several important industries: Search, digital advertising and mobile operating systems. And Google could face concerns similar to Apple for its own app store.

Google commands about 37% of the US digital ad market, according to EMarketer, where it sells much of the online real estate available to advertisers, such as search ads and spots that play before YouTube videos. In search, where Google has 90% of the market, opponents claim the company can manipulate rankings to favor its own listings. And Google’s Android smartphone operating system is by far the most popular in the world, with 85% of the market, outpacing Apple’s iOS with 14%, according to IDC.

The company has already gone several rounds of antitrust scrutiny with the European Union and has been forced to pay billions of dollars in three different cases, including a record $5 billion fine for the practice of tying its search and browser tools to Android. Google has also made many enemies among smaller businesses, ranging from media to advertising technology companies that are now assembling evidence to help the Justice Department, according to a person familiar with the situation.

The Defence: Google has well-defined arguments ready to push back, honed over years of doing battle with the EU and the FTC. To counter the claim of favortism in search, Google argues that it's only trying to surface the best information faster for users. Google is appealing the $1.7 billion EU fine for stifling competition in the online advertising market. Regulators’ demands for Android will force Google to change its business model and start charging customers for the software, rather than giving it to handset makers for free, the company claims. Google may also argue that the global nature of the internet means it doesn’t actually have the power that its critics say it does, pointing to companies such as Amazon and Tencent Holdings Ltd. The internet has low barriers to entry, and if someone builds a better search engine or advertising system, customers can easily switch over, the argument goes. Google likes to say that “competition is only one click away.’’

AMAZON

The Case: The antitrust debate about Amazon focuses on the retailing giant’s perceived dominance of e-commerce, where it has nearly 50% of U.S. online sales. Since it’s both a retailer and a marketplace for third-party sellers, Amazon has drawn scrutiny over whether it uses its clout and huge amount of sales data to give itself a leg up over smaller vendors – an issue the EU is already investigating. Warren has suggested that Amazon, like Apple, should be barred from competing with other players that sell on its marketplace. Regulators may also look into Amazon’s fulfillment practice, in which the company handles all aspects of fulfilling customer orders from shipping to packing and storing, according to Vox.

The problem is that Amazon often charges much lower fees than competing platforms. Amazon Prime could also be a target. While consumers may love the fact that they can get free shipping on a wide range of goods and services with the subscription program, the FTC has shown interest in the question of whether bundling these services allows Amazon to undercut competitors on price, according to Vox.

The Defence: Every time Amazon buys another company in another sector it sends a jolt of fear throughout the industry -- whether groceries or pharmaceuticals or logistics. But Amazon claims it actually only holds a small percentage of the total retail market in the US and faces formidable competition from the likes of Walmart Inc. The company, also a frequent target of Senator Bernie Sanders of Vermont for its treatment of workers, also prides itself on being able to keep prices low for consumers.

[btsbias]

check in tag ✨

ah thank you for tagging me @taehyungsupremacy. yes I WILL take advantage of the opportunity to talk about myself, thanks.

1. Why did you choose your url?

I was new to kpop and was learning what a bias was and i thought "well they're all my bias" so the ot7 blog was born

2. Any sideblogs? If you have them name them and why you have them?

yeah I have @enjoyable-btsfics my horribly abandoned fic rec blog. Do i start projects and never finish them? Yes. If you want fic recs just come into my DMs otherwise you're out of luck (and so am I when I want to remember a fic I've read and can't find it)

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

yeah since 2010 when all my friends got one. i think i'm like the only one who has used it more or less consistently for that long.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

I have "q" but I stopped queueing stuff because it was too much work

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I wanted to make kpop friends and my old blog just had all my 1d stuff on it

6. Why did you choose your icon?

bc I love yoongi? yoongi is love? he's the loml and a sweet sweet honey boy? all of the above.

7. Why did you choose your header?

I just really loved that pic from the concept book and wanted to make a cool edit i guess.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I think it's literally just a pic from the coway shoot with vmin. the vmin fans got to it lol.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

idk a healthy amount. I love each and every one of them. like i'm not kidding i genuinely have feelings of affection for all of my mutuals and idc if you think it's weird. you're stuck with me now.

10. How many followers do you have?

kara same I can't believe people follow me. i have enough followers that I can make a dumb text post and be 50% confident it won't flop and that's good enough for me.

11. How many people do you follow?

233... ah that makes sense as to why i can never catch up on my dash... i should check for inactives

12. Have you ever made a shitpost?

i truly don't know what a shitpost is. but i'm sure i've made one.

13. How often do you use tumblr each day?

it depends, but i'm usually here in the morning and i check in during the day.

14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?

I've had what you'd call a clashing of personalities, so we just decided to stop following each other.

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

“don’t tell me what to do” <-- yeah pretty much the same

also i'm sure no one noticed but I don't really reblog anything that's not kpop. And that doesn't mean i'm unaware of what's happening in palestine, or canada, or literally any of the world events happening, it just means this blog is my lil escape fantasy and i like to keep it that way

16. Do you like tag games?

I really do!!!! sometimes i get the notif when i'm busy so i miss it, but i love reading about my mutuals because they're all really cool.

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes even though I never do them.

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

god could you imagine referring to yourself or someone else as tumblr famous in the year twenty twenty one? very cringe. but i do think cc's generally have large audiences? as they should! they are the hardy laborers who are the pillars of our tumblr economy while the rest of us laze about, eating grapes (the fruits of their labor). our only form of currency is reblogs and nice tags, and then you have the scourge of the earth, nasty anons that can't make nice content to save their life but end up having very strong negative opinions about a person spending their fun free time to provide creative output to a community of people just for the heck of it.

19. Do I have a crush on a mutual?

if you are my mutual and you think i don't have a crush on you, you are sorely mistaken.

20. Tags?

yes please tell me more about yourself i'm begging you @rainbepourin @taetheking @myghobi @abtssideblog @ccypher3 @greatbigstorm

[jocialinfluencer]

The death of paid-for advertising and the rise of “influencer marketing”

Recent research will be revealing something blunt: a substantial reduction in the effectiveness and power of"traditional" paid advertisements. With the debut of social media and its own development as the communication medium, people are able to quickly and easily view and read exactly what peers, friends, actors, commentators, along with critical influencers have to say in regards to a item, a picture, new music, a restaurant, holiday, travel choices, a new company support a bank, an insurance provider...or anything it might be. Folks expect that the influencer more and their decision and decision is nowadays far more driven by this than by some bit of compensated for advertising.

In the past 5 yrs, there have been Quite a Few improvements which have established"Influencer Advertising" over the value and effectiveness of paid for advertising: Several analytics: 69% of customers say their favorite purchasing channel Is by Way of Social Networking and social networks -Accenture survey 74% mention peer reviewed recommendation as the Crucial influence on their purchase Choice -IDC Analysis 82 percent of Folks use Tips from people they understand to decide what to buy 58 percent of customers state that they are ready to share their encounters of the company or Brand -Ogilvy /TNS report Influencer Promoting currently creates the Maximum RoI of marketing activity with up to 6x yield for each $ spent Alongside all the optimistic advancements across Social media and IM there happen to be other advancements which are making paid and display to advertising significantly less appealing: The number of people using advertising blockers has become believed at 200m significance about 20 percent of most the on-line advertisements never even gets witnessed! This tendency was encouraged by the likes of Apple who allow thirdparty programmers to market advertisement blocking apps in its AppStore. The expenses of online advertising for example have grown substantially within the past five yrs significantly diminishing its RoI. Marketing is now dominated by the duopoly of both Google and also Facebook who take c.65 percent of all online ad-spend (using Google with the majority of this ). This duopoly have led a considerable rise in advertising costs, estimated to have climbed 300% in the last five yrs, with eg Google price tag /branded click costing up to 61% more at the last 1 2 months (re-search by SearchEngineLand). Programmatic advertisements which is intended to enhance frequency and reach in cost-effective rates can be currently resulting in more economical, much less effective ad-space that virtually a number of their prospective audience will likely see. Additionally this automated way to advertising has led in some ads being put in the inappropriate location eg along with incorrect or indecent content, forcing some Brands to draw from such a advertising approach. In the meantime,"IM" has now reached critical mass and also is now beginning to outperform on line screen in driving conversion and sales. Influencer promotion spent my youth starting with the birth of the major social networking platforms in 2007/8. Then some evangelists, outstanding and unprompted, beginning running a blog and then vlogging sharing their own feelings and comments on everything and anything involving the most recent brand new item launches from famous Brands. Burberry was one of those earliest ever to recognise the developing influence and number of followers those everyone was using and begun to formalise its technique, among those first to article Facebook, to utilize Twitter, and also to adopt societal media marketing and pro motion through influencers because its principal advertising and marketing tenet. All the additional luxury brands have to a certain degree or other today followed and they have set the pace and trends to all B2-C manufacturers to check at exactly what societal media and IM can perform for these and also to examine and trial how effective it could be. Let's Think about a Couple Casestudies: General public Desire General public Desire (www.publicdesire.com) is a successful on-line start-up operating in the footwear industry, based originally in great britain with a primary purchaser foundation of 16 into 25yr old women, priding itself on competitive pricing and informed use of social networking and IM. Even before its official launch, it set up on Insta-gram to gauge customer reaction and to tweak its own product and offer proposal. "When we first started, Insta-gram and influencers were actually taking away...we understood that the possibility there and that I believe clients today are somewhat more loyal to influencers and More Inclined to react to these , more so the Actual influencer who is also a user Instead of a celebrity who is obviously being compensated because of their acceptance" "Our Instagram accounts struck inch million followers this past calendar year, we have 35k on Twitter and not quite 100k around face book and also have a exact impressive Snapchat following as well. "We feel you need to check in wherever your visitors are and in which they want to be and to understand how tech and the way that social media marketing is changing. We want to be the very first to promote what we perform. So farin our industry, there's no other apparel merchant on line who is as focussed and powerful in social media even as we have been." -Co Founder Ateeq Akhlaq LifeBEAM Wearable tech organization LifeBEAM desired to launch a new AI-powered personal physical fitness product, Vi. They chose to produce a fresh advocacy group to raise attention for the kick-starter campaign these certainly were utilizing to invest in this undertaking. Through the power of social media-this became a excellent success. Over a hundred brand recommends signed-up to market the brand using the promise of absolutely free product samples, discounted purchase price . They're also provided with item samples, demos and invites to to see/private occasions. These 100 became committed"disciples" and were instrumental in raising the 1.6m Kickstarter necessary. Since IM gets even a developed advertising and marketing application, so employers are denying that they do not need to signup the largest star they're able to. It has a whole lot more concerning credibility, which has come to be the most recent buzz. Finding individuals who are new users and already keen advocates, they're the individuals who have the authenticity and believability that can correctly influence others' purchasing behaviour. Such people now are also being clarified as"micro-influencers", possibly with merely a small have an effect on network themselves but who collaborated using a multitude of similar others can produce a highly effective group. Manufacturers also are discovering that micro-influencers are easier to locate , quicker to sign-up and much more eloquent in exactly what they say (as opposed to a celebrity figure who might be more prone to mention something unscripted!) . Also these kinds of micro-influencers cost-less. Most will bill c. #a hundred and often less per branded post. On Facebook, the average micro-influencer fee is just a generally a great deal less compared to a typical $250 per branded Facebook submit. This usually means that for a effort price of devoting $5-k, a fresh could expect eg approximately 35 to a hundred Insta-gram articles that will hit c. 200k followers, or even approximately sixty to 200 Twitter posts which could reach around 300k or around 35 to 100 Facebook articles which will reach around 125k followers, or even any mix. Not just a significant investment, the capacity to easily trial and install, in case unsure out source to a few of the multitude of agencies that now offer social media IM platforms and campaigns, easy to track and quantify, and discovering and diluting the capacity of that wider group of people who love your product, want to tell people about it and also happy to have a little commission to complete this. To amount up here are some more good examples of IM: Glossier Glossier (www.glossier.com) can be just a US-based start-up attempting to sell skin and beauty care products. It is often ranked as"Most Innovative business" and owes much of its early achievements and cult following to ever-expanding network of micro-influencers. Instead of paying several large titles, Glossier relies on"ordinary folks" to disperse the term. "What's quite inspiring is this idea of every single woman can Turn into an influencer with us...we Finally Have an referral application to enable more influential followers to connect people and to provide product discounts and other incentives to Their Very Own networks" Unilever Unilever has been doing something like its Dove brand of skin care, trying to boost its goal user base to comment and blog on its own products. "we would like to focus on empowering material. Every year users acquire more informed and crucial plus they ask more of all brands. So such as we have developed our Dove self confidence venture. That has made a wealth of reviews, persuasive reports and also ideas. It also currently features intends to move in to 165 educational institutions annually to lead courses, activities and offer sources. The entire Self Esteem programme has reached 1.5 million folks in great britain...it is an conversation the newest is devoted to having with women, but we are also committed for this longer term as well as the upcoming generation." -Alison Fisher, Unilever Marketing Manager Hall-mark Hallmark, the greeting card provider, decided they needed to participate a great deal more effectively with their crowd and find strategies to encourage visits for their own internet site and use their collectible handmade cards. They chose to build an internet community of families who'd a massive numbers of followers and who enjoyed sharing and posting photos on line...they had a lot to select from! They invited them to combine with a program which will run on Instagram to talk about personal moments from their loved ones getaway. They were encouraged to present"frank glimpses" into their own family holiday traditions. In exchange for post these photos, they've been invited to share them by their particular followers and network also to insert hyperlinks to Hallmark's personalised homemade cards. You will find decorations for the best images and families had been given free use of Hallmark's personalised discounts and service to other merchandise. Whilst an easy task to prepare and implement, this IM campaign was highly popular and successful and was voted at the yearly Shorty awards as one of the ideal IM initiatives. The goal audience put in more than 25 million moments engaging with content. Hall mark realized a good share of voice in all the main element societal media by which everyone was sharing and posting holiday pictures. Most notably for its very first time for Hallmark it built at very inexpensive a influencer base and set of relationships which may be leveraged for future activity. One of the Absolute Most thorough research on the ROI of utilizing Influencers has been performed by Nielsen Catalina Solutions. They followed the promotion efforts of the Fortune 500 consumer goods company. Here are the results: Influencer marketing yields an Yearly ROI of 23, in Comparison to $4.30 on the brand's best performing banner ads For each 1, 000 viewpoints, affecting earned $285 in incremental sales Influencer campaigns brought in 11 times the ROI of traditional advertising over the Duration of annually "No wonder that 84% of Marketers at a latest survey said they proposed a minumum of a IM effort annually ." -Marketing Insider Group

[wikimakemoney]

Automating affiliate: Why digital marketing’s last hold-out should be connected to the AI grid

30-second summary:

Affiliate marketing has been left to stagnate for two decades with a clunky, manual commissioning structure that allows neither brands nor publishers to truly maximize its potential.

In making affiliate marketing fit for purpose in the modern era, we could also employ machine learning systems to toggle commissioning, ensuring that marketing spend is consistently optimized to dynamically meet an advertiser’s inventory and product availability.

Smart decision-making would mean that ads placed on their site are more likely to be hyper-relevant and appealing to their visitors, enhancing the user experience at a time when consumers increasingly expect brands to “know” them.

Machines can deliver formerly hidden detail from the data, but human expertise remain important for quality outreach. We should simply use tech to augment the expertise of affiliate experts, bringing together the best of human and machine.

When the first digital ad hit the internet in 1994, few of us could have predicted how this new, epoch-defining marketing tool would change the way brands interact with their consumers.

Twenty-five years on, a lot has changed. We’ve seen the industry evolve from one that would often ruin the user experience with excessive advertising and clunky page loads, to one that drives creative, personalized, and even memorable encounters.

But not all types of online marketing have completed this evolution to the next phase. Some remain artifacts of the twentieth century, still awaiting an overhaul fit for the technological era. To be connected to the “new electricity” that is artificial intelligence (AI).

Chief among these is affiliate marketing, which has been left to stagnate for two decades with a clunky, manual commissioning structure that allows neither brands nor publishers to truly maximize its potential.

If we left affiliate to languish like this, it strikes me that we’d do both brands and consumers a disservice. So, what’s the solution?

Embrace the technology

As with so many things these days, data-driven AI is opening up new opportunities and can help us make more dynamic, real-time  decisions based on consumer information. As marketers we should harness this powerful force to deliver more streamlined affiliate experiences direct to brands and publishers.

By marrying data and machine learning we could improve our strike rates with targeted commissioning, brand-publisher matchmaking, and data-driven signals like propensity to buy.

A large part of the success will rest on an affiliate system fueled by big consumer data – from brands, publishers, and unique data from partners – that can more finely categorize online shoppers according to behaviors, channels, and purchase habits in a way that is simply imperceptible for human marketers. Such AI systems can find patterns in the data that allow a much better understanding of customers.

This combination of data and sophisticated machine learning techniques will also help advertising brands target and incentivize precisely the right publishers to help meet their business goals.

CMO of Spartan Race, Carola Jain, recently told a new Harvard Business Review Analytics Services report on the future of marketing: “You cannot make marketing decisions based on your ‘gut.’ Instead, you need to collect, analyze and leverage data to develop informed hypotheses that you then test in the marketplace.”

The result for affiliate? Potentially a new data-driven tool that can use this granular detail to accurately match-make advertisers with the perfect publishers and shoppers across all channels.

And in making affiliate marketing fit for purpose in the modern era, we could also employ machine learning systems to toggle commissioning, ensuring that marketing spend is consistently optimized to dynamically meet an advertiser’s inventory and product availability.

This means if one channel is outperforming expectations and another isn’t yielding, smart AI could automatically re-adjust advertising investment to really zone in on targets and drive pre-determined business objectives.

As Nicole Goldberg, Digital Marketing Manager at 7 for All Mankind and Splendid, told researchers, “Impressions used to be the big metric…but it doesn’t tell you the most important information about how your campaign is performing. It doesn’t tell you if people care.”

Mutual benefits

By updating and automating affiliate, we would also bring a new level of sophistication for publishers.

Smart decision-making would mean that ads placed on their site are more likely to be hyper-relevant and appealing to their visitors, enhancing the user experience at a time when consumers increasingly expect brands to “know” them.

Additionally, predictive machine learning systems can use publisher data to match advertisers with publishers they may never have even considered.

And this isn’t about disrupting existing relationships between publishers and advertisers, but about working to reinforce and catalyze them. It helps publishers serve ads that best suit their audiences and allows brand marketers to cut fat and extend their reach more efficiently.

For example, by creating audience segments – like those with a high propensity for coupon usage – and optimizing that category for retention. As per the trend across all industries, this is about using the tools available to us to make things better for all parties involved.

The end of an era?

So, does newly sophisticated, AI-driven affiliate marketing spell the end of advertising based on human – rather than data – in sight? Almost definitely not.

Machines can deliver formerly hidden detail from the data, but human expertise remain important for quality outreach. We should simply use tech to augment the expertise of affiliate experts, bringing together the best of human and machine.

Recent forecasts about the future of the industry have acknowledged this, with Gerry Murray, Research Director at IDC’s Marketing and Sales Technology Service, noting that the competitive advantage in the AI-enabled world of marketing will all be about creativity.

If AI is the new electricity – as some are characterizing it –  let’s finally leave the 1990s behind and connect affiliate to “the grid” in order to deliver a new premium product. The end game is simple: effective, strategically targeted advertising that delivers experiences that people love.

Julie Van Ullen is the Managing Director, US for Rakuten Advertising. In her role, Julie is responsible for overseeing the commercial organization selling and supporting the holistic suite of Rakuten Advertising’s affiliate solutions for Advertisers and Publishers. 

The post Automating affiliate: Why digital marketing’s last hold-out should be connected to the AI grid appeared first on ClickZ.

source http://wikimakemoney.com/2020/04/16/automating-affiliate-why-digital-marketings-last-hold-out-should-be-connected-to-the-ai-grid/

[kyliealejandra]

Digital Transformation: Bringing People, Data and Devices Together

The main goal of every company is to satisfy consumers and increase its bottom line through innovation. As such, many businesses are undergoing a digital transformation—a large-scale revolution within a company towards a modern and digitized system. SevenTablets President Shane Long defines digital transformation this way: “digital transformation is bringing together people, data, and the IoT in a real-time, always available fashion through mobile apps, custom software development and other technologies.” This is accomplished by replacing outdated legacy systems with cutting-edge technology to increase operational efficiency, improve worker productivity and deliver a seamless user experience while boosting revenue.

According to Business 2 Community, 85% of decision-makers feel they only have two years to fully execute their digital transformation before the pack pulls ahead of them, while only 10% of companies describe themselves as fully digital. However, 32% say their digital transformation has improved the efficiency of their operations, while 28% report it has helped them garner new customers. These figures suggest that undergoing a digital transformation cuts costs within the company, inspires workers and allows them to deliver products and services that cast a wider net. But what exactly does a digital transformation entail?

Enhancing the Role of Each Worker

A digital transformation is about so much more than devices and technology; it’s also about the people involved. To implement such a revolution within a company, senior executives need to bring in skilled digital workers, create a forward-thinking culture and foster an environment that brings the best out of each worker.

Developing enterprise apps with smart business solutions that target common problems and improve daily workflow within the company is key to ensuring each employee is contributing to your digital transformation strategy. The goal is to create an enterprise app that streamlines work processes, automates time-consuming tasks and motivates employees to increase their output. By understanding your employee’s needs and challenges, you can develop tools that set them up for success.

Collaboration is also critical when undergoing a big company change. Unite the talents of members within the company with those of a skilled developer or consultant who can help you define a clear digital strategy. By having many sets of focused eyes on a particular project, businesses can better develop tools and products designed to serve their customers.   

The Power of Data

Big data—vast data sets that can be combined with smart algorithms to identify patterns, trends and connections between human behaviors and interactions—is a critical part of any digital transformation. With this technology, businesses can develop a comprehensive picture of customers’ interests. This data can then be leveraged to develop tools that will optimize a business’ ROI in the form of product recommendation engines, among other tools. These engines examine customers using data that informs companies about user behavior and offers personalized recommendations based on their sales history, product affinity statistics and more.

Predictive analytics goes hand-in-hand with big data. With PA, you can unearth insights from existing datasets to predict future patterns and trends. By getting an idea of future trends, you can drive sales with product recommendations and establish effective plans to meet certain goals. Big data and predictive analytics can be used either separately or in tandem to achieve detailed business insights.

A successful digital transformation requires the use of data to create software, hardware and other products and services to optimize the user experience. Data allows a company to understand every piece of information relating to a customer’s needs and interactions in order to create satisfying solutions.

The Importance of IoT for Digital Transformation

We live in a connected world thanks to the explosion of the Internet of Things (IoT) in the last 10 years. There are more connected devices than ever in 2018, and IDC predicts that the number of these devices will reach 80 billion by 2025. In fact, 451 Research projects that IoT applications are the next frontier for enterprises, noting that 65% of IT and IoT leaders plan on increasing their IoT spending over the next 12 months. As such, this is a prime time to take advantage of this technology.

Here are some ways IoT can benefit a digital transformation strategy:

Cloud Computing: More devices are connected to the cloud than ever before, allowing businesses to easily store and share data between devices and cloud computing data centers.

Improved Communication: IoT devices can connect millions of users around the world to a single product or service. Within a company, an IoT network paves the way for easier communication and data transmission among workers, both inside and outside the office.

Data Gathering: With IoT, companies can amass data generated by smart devices in order to garner a more comprehensive idea of what consumers are expecting and how to meet their desires. These insights can be used to improve current products and services or create new ones that provide innovative solutions.

Streamline Workflow Processes: IoT also helps with operational inefficiencies by using data to streamline workflow processes, identify any bugs or bottlenecks within the company and tackle pressing issues in real-time. You can even automate processes, thereby slashing costs while allowing employees to focus on other tasks.

By replacing lingering IT systems with IoT, you can increase the agility of your business’ operations. A personalized customer experience is everything these days, and big data analysis powered by IoT is an effective way of optimizing a company’s digital strategy.

Mobile Apps and Digital Transformation

Mobile apps are an essential part of a successful digital transformation strategy. After all, a vast number of people use smartphones and tablets as their preferred mode of communication, making a well-developed app the perfect tool to reach your target audience. Learn about your users first, then develop an app tailored to suit their needs.

Convenience: Users love it when everything they need is right at their fingertips—literally. Even if you have a stellar website, many users are more likely to download an app than visit a website and prefer the one-touch convenience of mobile.

Engagement: Features such as tutorials, instructions, mobile alerts, and push notifications keep users engaged while continuously reminding them about your company.

Brand Recognition and Loyalty: In-app incentives are a powerful way to get users hooked. For example, McDonald’s app not only creates added convenience for users, but it also lets you earn loyalty points that can net you free food when you use the app.

To get the most out of your mobile app, make sure you have a well-crafted user interface and gather data regarding user experience to ensure your app is pleasing the intended audience. If you really want to stand out from the pack, you can even consider integrating cutting-edge technology such as augmented reality or natural language processing into your app.

Undergoing a Digital Transformation in 2018-2019

A digital transformation is a must for companies wanting to stay competitive in 2018-2019. You’ll have more data regarding your customers, market trends and bottlenecks. Plus, IoT’s ability to combine data with smart devices adds value to your operational efficiency by demonstrating problem areas within your business and providing data-informed solutions, while a mobile app can help attract and retain customers. The end result will be increased customer satisfaction and an improved bottom line.

If you’re hoping to push your company to the digital age, you will need a developer with the talent and experience to help you achieve your goals. The team at SevenTablets offers smart solutions that aid companies looking to undergo a digital transformation while also bolstering the efficiency of your operations with mobile cloud services solutions and digital strategy consultants. In addition, we have extensive experience with emerging technologies, including virtual reality, blockchain, augmented reality, virtual reality, artificial intelligence and natural language processing.

Although SevenTablets is headquartered in Dallas, we also work with clients in Austin, Houston, and across the United States. If you’re ready to discuss your project, contact us today.

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Digital Transformation: Bringing People, Data and Devices Together

The main goal of every company is to satisfy consumers and increase its bottom line through innovation. As such, many businesses are undergoing a digital transformation—a large-scale revolution within a company towards a modern and digitized system. SevenTablets President Shane Long defines digital transformation this way: “digital transformation is bringing together people, data, and the IoT in a real-time, always available fashion through mobile apps, custom software development and other technologies.” This is accomplished by replacing outdated legacy systems with cutting-edge technology to increase operational efficiency, improve worker productivity and deliver a seamless user experience while boosting revenue.

According to Business 2 Community, 85% of decision-makers feel they only have two years to fully execute their digital transformation before the pack pulls ahead of them, while only 10% of companies describe themselves as fully digital. However, 32% say their digital transformation has improved the efficiency of their operations, while 28% report it has helped them garner new customers. These figures suggest that undergoing a digital transformation cuts costs within the company, inspires workers and allows them to deliver products and services that cast a wider net. But what exactly does a digital transformation entail?

Enhancing the Role of Each Worker

A digital transformation is about so much more than devices and technology; it’s also about the people involved. To implement such a revolution within a company, senior executives need to bring in skilled digital workers, create a forward-thinking culture and foster an environment that brings the best out of each worker.

Developing enterprise apps with smart business solutions that target common problems and improve daily workflow within the company is key to ensuring each employee is contributing to your digital transformation strategy. The goal is to create an enterprise app that streamlines work processes, automates time-consuming tasks and motivates employees to increase their output. By understanding your employee’s needs and challenges, you can develop tools that set them up for success.

Collaboration is also critical when undergoing a big company change. Unite the talents of members within the company with those of a skilled developer or consultant who can help you define a clear digital strategy. By having many sets of focused eyes on a particular project, businesses can better develop tools and products designed to serve their customers.   

The Power of Data

Big data—vast data sets that can be combined with smart algorithms to identify patterns, trends and connections between human behaviors and interactions—is a critical part of any digital transformation. With this technology, businesses can develop a comprehensive picture of customers’ interests. This data can then be leveraged to develop tools that will optimize a business’ ROI in the form of product recommendation engines, among other tools. These engines examine customers using data that informs companies about user behavior and offers personalized recommendations based on their sales history, product affinity statistics and more.

Predictive analytics goes hand-in-hand with big data. With PA, you can unearth insights from existing datasets to predict future patterns and trends. By getting an idea of future trends, you can drive sales with product recommendations and establish effective plans to meet certain goals. Big data and predictive analytics can be used either separately or in tandem to achieve detailed business insights.

A successful digital transformation requires the use of data to create software, hardware and other products and services to optimize the user experience. Data allows a company to understand every piece of information relating to a customer’s needs and interactions in order to create satisfying solutions.

The Importance of IoT for Digital Transformation

We live in a connected world thanks to the explosion of the Internet of Things (IoT) in the last 10 years. There are more connected devices than ever in 2018, and IDC predicts that the number of these devices will reach 80 billion by 2025. In fact, 451 Research projects that IoT applications are the next frontier for enterprises, noting that 65% of IT and IoT leaders plan on increasing their IoT spending over the next 12 months. As such, this is a prime time to take advantage of this technology.

Here are some ways IoT can benefit a digital transformation strategy:

Cloud Computing: More devices are connected to the cloud than ever before, allowing businesses to easily store and share data between devices and cloud computing data centers.

Improved Communication: IoT devices can connect millions of users around the world to a single product or service. Within a company, an IoT network paves the way for easier communication and data transmission among workers, both inside and outside the office.

Data Gathering: With IoT, companies can amass data generated by smart devices in order to garner a more comprehensive idea of what consumers are expecting and how to meet their desires. These insights can be used to improve current products and services or create new ones that provide innovative solutions.

Streamline Workflow Processes: IoT also helps with operational inefficiencies by using data to streamline workflow processes, identify any bugs or bottlenecks within the company and tackle pressing issues in real-time. You can even automate processes, thereby slashing costs while allowing employees to focus on other tasks.

By replacing lingering IT systems with IoT, you can increase the agility of your business’ operations. A personalized customer experience is everything these days, and big data analysis powered by IoT is an effective way of optimizing a company’s digital strategy.

Mobile Apps and Digital Transformation

Mobile apps are an essential part of a successful digital transformation strategy. After all, a vast number of people use smartphones and tablets as their preferred mode of communication, making a well-developed app the perfect tool to reach your target audience. Learn about your users first, then develop an app tailored to suit their needs.

Convenience: Users love it when everything they need is right at their fingertips—literally. Even if you have a stellar website, many users are more likely to download an app than visit a website and prefer the one-touch convenience of mobile.

Engagement: Features such as tutorials, instructions, mobile alerts, and push notifications keep users engaged while continuously reminding them about your company.

Brand Recognition and Loyalty: In-app incentives are a powerful way to get users hooked. For example, McDonald’s app not only creates added convenience for users, but it also lets you earn loyalty points that can net you free food when you use the app.

To get the most out of your mobile app, make sure you have a well-crafted user interface and gather data regarding user experience to ensure your app is pleasing the intended audience. If you really want to stand out from the pack, you can even consider integrating cutting-edge technology such as augmented reality or natural language processing into your app.

Undergoing a Digital Transformation in 2018-2019

A digital transformation is a must for companies wanting to stay competitive in 2018-2019. You’ll have more data regarding your customers, market trends and bottlenecks. Plus, IoT’s ability to combine data with smart devices adds value to your operational efficiency by demonstrating problem areas within your business and providing data-informed solutions, while a mobile app can help attract and retain customers. The end result will be increased customer satisfaction and an improved bottom line.

If you’re hoping to push your company to the digital age, you will need a developer with the talent and experience to help you achieve your goals. The team at SevenTablets offers smart solutions that aid companies looking to undergo a digital transformation while also bolstering the efficiency of your operations with mobile cloud services solutions and digital strategy consultants. In addition, we have extensive experience with emerging technologies, including virtual reality, blockchain, augmented reality, virtual reality, artificial intelligence and natural language processing.

Although SevenTablets is headquartered in Dallas, we also work with clients in Austin, Houston, and across the United States. If you’re ready to discuss your project, contact us today.

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Jenelle Evans SLAMS Former BFF: She's a Nasty B-tch!

https://styleveryday.com/2018/02/08/jenelle-evans-slams-former-bff-shes-a-nasty-b-tch/

Jenelle Evans SLAMS Former BFF: She's a Nasty B-tch!

For obvious reasons, Jenelle Evans has a hard time making friends.

So it would make sense for her to hold onto the ones she’s got.

Unfortunately, nothing about Jenelle has ever made sense.

The problem with Jenelle’s relationships is that while some unhinged reality stars are able to able to turn their insanity off when the cameras aren’t rolling, Ms. Evans is batsh-t around the clock. 

Case in point: Jenelle’s ongoing feud with former bestie Tori Rhyne is definitely not being staged for the sake of TV audiences.

Fans may remember the fight between Jenelle and Tori which reminded everyone that Evans is a frighteningly skilled pugilist.

(We’re thinking a career in celebrity boxing after this Teen Mom business runs its course!)

Many believed that Jenelle and Tori had buried the hatchet, in large part due to the fact that Rhyne was invited to Evans’ wedding to David Eason back in September.

Rhyne even posted photos from the event on her Instagram page:

“And with just one kiss she became EvansToEason. I love you guys. And I couldn’t be any happier for the both of you. Y’all deserve it,” she wrote on social media.

Yes, there was a time when it seemed like the epic throwdowns of their past were water under the bridge for these two old friends.

However, this week’s Teen Mom 2 behind the scenes special shed new light on the complicated relationship between Jenelle and Kailyn.

It seems Tori was actually kicked out of Jenelle’s wedding for reasons that weren’t made clear on the episode.

Ms. Rhyne took to Instagram to clear things up, and we’re guessing Jenelle won’t be thrilled by what she had to say:

Get ready for run-on sentences aplenty:

“A bunch of David’s friends were talking sh-t about Jesse because he knew him and Jesse didn’t bite his tongue he stood up for both the both of us and told them if they wanted to keep talking sh-t to walk down to the end of her drive and do something about since they wanted to ruin our time while we were there,” Tori wrote.

“Idc who’s wedding it is, not going to let someone talk sh-t and treat us with disrespect.”

She added:

“So we got asked to leave because people were about to start fighting. That’s what happens when you have an open bar at a wedding with a bunch of dudes.”

Correction: that’s what happens when you have an open bar at Jenelle Evans’ wedding.

Like so much of Jenelle’s life, there’s really nothing normal or relatable about this.

According to In Touch Weekly, Jenelle has already fired back that Tori is a “nasty b-tch,” because of course she has.

Watch Teen Mom 2 online for more of the bonkers life of the Carolina Hurricane.

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Smarter Career Choices #3: Solve for the Global Maxima!

Today, a simple lesson that so many of us miss at great peril. In fact in your role, at this very moment, your company is making a mistake in terms of how it values your impact on the business.

The lesson is about the limitation of optimizing for a local maxima, usually in a silo.

We are going to internalize this lesson by learning from Microsoft. It is a company I love (am typing this on my beloved ThinkPad X1 Carbon Gen 5, using Windows Live Writer blogging software!). I bumped into the lesson thanks to their NFL sponsorship.

If you were watching the Oakland Raiders beating the hapless New York Giants (so sad about Eli) this past Sunday, you surely saw a scene like this one:

Quarterback Geno Smith using his Microsoft Surface tablet to figure out how he added two more fumbles to this career total of 43. Or, maybe it was him replaying the 360 degrees view of the three times he was sacked during the game.

The Surface tablet is everywhere in an NFL game. Microsoft paid $400 million for four years for the rights, and just renewed the deal for another year (for an as yet undisclosed sum).

For all this expense, you'll see players and coaches using them during the game (as above). The Surface branding also gets prominent placement on the sidelines – on benches, on movable trollies and more. It is all quite prominent.

Here’s one more example: Beast mode!

I adore Mr. Lynch’s passion. Oh, and did you notice the Surface branding?

Now, let’s talk analytics and accountability.

NFL ratings are down, but an average game still gets between 15 m – 20 m viewers. That is a lot of pretty locked-in attention, very hard to get anywhere these days.

The question for us, Occam’s Razor readers, is… What does the Surface Marketing team get for all this money?

If the Surface Marketing team is like every other team at every other company engaged in sponsorships and television advertising, it’ll measure the same collection of smart metrics like everyone else.

First one will be Reach. The Surface team is likely measuring it with deep granularity (by individual games, geo, days, times of days, and a lot more).  I’m confident that their analysis will show they are getting great Reach.

The team will rightly be congratulating itself on this success.

Next on the list, having spent enough of my life with TV buyers, I can comfortably say that the Surface team is also expending copious amounts of effort measuring one or more dimensions of Brand Lift metric. Ad Recall, Brand Interest, Favorability, Consideration etc.

Brand Lift is most frequently measured using surveys.

Given the number of times Microsoft Surface, or its branded presence, shows up in a game (52 times in my count in the OAK – NYC game), I believe the Surface team is getting very positive reads from its post NFL ad-exposure surveys.

After 52 times most people would recall the ad, surely answer the survey with some interest in the brand, and everyone (except Coach Belichick) seems to like using the tablets, a favorability that will surely transfer to a whole lot of viewers.

This would, indeed should, result in more congratulations in the Surface team.

The two-step approach above reflects the most common approach Marketers, and their Agencies, use to measure success. Did we reach a large audience? Do they remember anything?

The answers to these two questions power job promotions, bonuses and agency contract renewals with higher fees.

I believe this is necessary, but not sufficient.

I believe this approach optimizes for a local maxima (the media buying bubble) and does not create the necessary incentives to solve for the global maxima (short or long-term business success).

Let me illuminate this gap.

Here’s the global maxima question: How many Surface tablets have been sold due to this near-blanket coverage in NFL games via precious undivided attention?

That was the question that crossed my mind during Sunday’s game.

I had one data point handy.

According to TripIt I’ve visited 156 cities across 32 countries in the last few years. During these trips, meetings and meetups, I've never seen a Microsoft Surface tablet in the wild. Not one.

That’s not completely true. I have seen one frequently. The one I bought for my dad four years ago.

One data point does not a story make.

To assess a more complete answer, we turn to our trusty search engine Bing…

The picture above starts 12 months after Surface inked the $400 million NFL contract. The Surface's share of shipments is so small, it does not even show up in a graph.

Not being content with just one view of success, I tried other sources. 

The data from IDC, shows no meaningful Surface anything. Statcounter provides an interesting view as it measures actual use the Surface when accessing the two million websites that use Statcounter. Surface is at 0.29% share.

This is a bit hyperbolic, but in the grand scheme of things… No one is buying a Surface.

Local maxima view of success: The Surface team’s NFL contract is a smashing success. The team is getting great Reach and great Brand Lift. Contract with NFL renewed for another 12 months.

Global maxima view of success: Microsoft is losing.

[Key caveat: The data Statista and IDC provide capture shipments. It is possible that the Surface is being sold directly in a way that neither of these two sources would capture those sales. Perhaps some kind of B2B sales. To overcome this possible issue I’ve used the Statcounter data to capture usage. Still, there is a possible scenario where none, or not enough, of the Surfaces sold visit those two million sites.]

Sadly, Microsoft is not alone in this local maxima focus. Most companies function in a similar manner. Yours. Mine. Other people’s. Our collective mistake is that we don’t think critically enough about what we really are solving for. Our company’s mistake is the incentive structure they put in place (which almost always rewards the local maxima).

Let me give you two examples of this sad local maxima obsession that crossed my desk just this morning. All in the space of one hour.

Local – Global Maxima Example 2: Gap Inc..

A report has been published on The Age of Social Influence. Its goal is to aggressively recommend the strategy of marketing via Social Influencers. Here’s the publishing company’s intro of themselves: “We are a powerful data intelligence tool that combines the knowledge and insights you need to deliver a successful celebrity and social influencer marketing strategy.”

Their claims of this wonderful Social Influencer strategy is based on a survey of 270 respondents. 270. It seems like an oddly tiny choice by a powerful data intelligence tool company (PDITC).

They have all kinds of numbers from the 270 survey sample showing glory.

The very first example in the report of a brand winning hugely with a Social Influencer strategy is Gap.

Here’s a screenshot from the report…

While we all love Cher, seriously she is special, this is a classic local maxima let’s only look at what will make us look good to pimp stuff we want to strategy.

What would be a global maxima if you are going to use a company as a poster child?

Here’s Gap’s financial performance over the last five years…

Gap Inc. has been struggling for years, flirting with financial disaster recently in every facet of its business.

I invite you to explore other financial data on the eMarketer Retail website. Look at Revenue, Earnings, Margins, Employment… Everything is super sad. For an additional valuable lesson, click on Digital as well. It shows the social performance of Gap (illustrating even the local maxima is quite suspect).

I dearly wish the Gap survives, they make good quality clothes.

I also wish that the powerful data intelligence tool company would have chosen to focus on looking at the global maxima success before using Gap, and the other examples in their 40 page report. That would have made their drum banging for Social Influencers more persuasive. It would also have resulted in fewer clients of powerful data intelligence tool company shuttled in the direction of spending money on something that mostly likely will not produce any business results.

Local – Global Maxima Example 3: Amazon

A celebration was shared with me for 31 custom gifs created by Giphy for the up and coming retailer Amazon.

Here’s a non constantly looped, to ensure you’re not annoyed, sample…

The celebration was based on the fact that the total view count for these 31 custom gifs was 31 million.

[Sidebar: Always, always, always be suspicious of numbers that are that clean. 31 gifs being viewed a clean 31 million times is cosmically impossible. Seek the faq page to understand how views are measured. Identify that there is no clarity. Now, be even more suspicious.]

I’m afraid in my book views don’t even count as a local maxima. Even if they are in yours, I hope you’ll agree they are a million miles away from a global maxima.

I wanted to share this example from Amazon because you can’t use the global maxima of overall business success I’ve used above. Even if Jeff Bezos goes around hitting people with feather dusters, Amazon will keep selling more and more products. They have already reached perpetual motion.

What do you do when it is difficult to identify the global maxima from a super-tactical animated 31 gifs with 31 million views effort?

Try to move four steps up from wherever you are. Global maxima lite.

In this case, here’s a great start: % of Users who shared the gif who are not current Amazon customers.

So much more insightful than Views, right?

We are shooting for a deeper brand connection, by an audience that holds business value for us. Sure these people are annoying their friends, but hey at least as Amazon we can remarket to them – and friends (!) – and convert them to Prime customers!

I’m sure you can think of others that are five, six and eight steps above Views. (Share them in comments, and earn admiration.)

It does not always have to be revenue or profit. But, please don’t pop the champagne on views, impressions and other such primitive signals of nothingness.

On the topic of measurement, let’s go back to Microsoft and brainstorm some strategies for their unique use case.

What should Microsoft have measured?

Purely as an academic exercise I’m leaving aside the possibility that the Surface is simply not a good tablet. That would certainly impact sales – marketing or no marketing. But, since Microsoft went back for year five, it is safe to assume at least they believe it is a good tablet.

Ok? It is a good tablet.

Again as an academic exercise I’m going to ignore the four year horizon. There is no question that at the end of year two Microsoft had overwhelming proof from a multitude of data points that the NFL contract was not selling any Surfaces. They did not need Big Data or Artificial Intelligence to come to that conclusion. If they could not get out of the contract, at the end of year two a better use of $100 mil spend per year would have been to change the covers on the Surfaces to Xbox green, and change the numerous printed brand opportunities on the sidelines to Xbox as well. A great selling product, with a much bigger overlap with the NFL audience than the Surface.

Ok? We are not looking after year two.

During the first and second year, what could we have measured as Microsoft if we wanted to do better than the local maxima? Better than Reach and Brand Lift metrics?

Let me plant three ideas (please add yours via comments).

An enhanced survey would be a good start. Along with measuring ad recall etc., they could also ask how likely are you to choose the Surface over the iPad as your next tablet?

It is a tougher question than do you remember the ad or what tablets can you name. It is going head to head with the thing people usually say when they mean tablet. And, you are looking for switching. A strong behavior shift, a harder yes to get when I’ve done surveys. All this brand exposure, if its working, should shift that key intent signal.

Really easy to do. And, you can easily get thousands upon thousands of responses – you don’t have to settle for 270. It would have given the Marketing team a leading indicator that no one is going to buy the Surface as a result of the NFL partnership. The signal could have been received even a couple months in, and certainly by the end of year one.

Time series correlations would have been a great start right after the first week of the contract. How many people are visiting the Surface website on Sundays? Is that materially significant compared to weeks prior or weeks where there were not as many games? Was there an improvement on Sundays in digital sales? How about retail sales on Mondays?

This is simple stuff. Even visits to the site would have been a nice low level signal.

As the season went on, we could look for test and control opportunities. The NFL always has blackouts in cities/states where the stadiums don’t have enough attendance. This past weekend it was in two states, complete blackout of free broadcast games. Is there a difference in site visits, online conversion rates, offline sales, between states that had one game broadcast on Sunday, two games broadcast on Sunday and no games broadcast on Sunday?

A little more complicated. The site stuff is easy to segment. For store sales Microsoft could easily get data from its stores in malls, and likely also from retailers like Best Buy with a little arm twisting. This data would have shows Microsoft, a few months in, that the global maxima might not be reached.

If you don’t have this type of ubiquity, Matched Market tests are also fabulous in these cases to discern if a specific marketing strategy is having a business impact.

Three ideas that I hope will spark many more in your mind when you shoot to measure the global maxima.

I want to briefly touch on one refrain I often hear about these long term efforts, or short term efforts that are not working but are looking at a longer horizon: So what if the results are not there. This is a long term brand building play, Apple did not become a beloved brand in one year.

There is a kernel of truth there, brand building take time. There is a kernel of BS there as well, Apple is Apple primary because of its innovative products.

Let’s not talk about Microsoft in context of the above statement as even if we assume there was some long term brand building happening, it did not translate into business success.

When you hear a statement like that, after you launch a new underwear, cooking range, VR headset or whatever… Obsessively measure more than the local maxima to discern signals in the short term that illustrate that the long term brand building play is not just an excuse to flush a lot of money. Both the Gap and Amazon examples have ideas to inspire you.

Or consider that even your long term brand building play, in the short term should cause you to take noticeable amounts of market share. It won’t be 80% in the short term, but neither is that statement a reason to spend more money if all you got is 5% in year one and 10% in year two.

Don’t settle for opinion.

Use data.

You have data.

Bonus: The real winner of the Microsoft NFL contract?

The NFL of course.

Microsoft makes great hardware. To make it work for the NFL, Microsoft surely wrote lots of custom software for the NFL’s specific use cases. Microsoft likely invested in tens of millions of dollars of camera equipment, wifi/networking upgrades in every stadium, deployed a small army of Microsoft employees to do on-site tech support before, during and after the games in every single stadium. And, more and more and more.

The NFL should be paying Microsoft $110 million a year to upgrade the ability of its coaches, players and teams to have access to this state of the art technology to compete more effectively every Thursday, Sunday and Monday!

The NFL is slated to make $14 billion in 2017, they can surely afford to give $110 mil a year to Microsoft.

Back to the real world… Even when you measure short term success, please do not be satisfied with a local maxima. Even in the short term you can measure something better. On the long term, you have all the elements you need… Definitely measure the global maxima!

Do this because it is the right and smart thing to do for your company. But, a tiny bit, do it because in my experience (across the world) global maxima solvers progress exponentially faster in their career. Turns out, delivering business results matters. :)

As always, it is your turn now.

Do you have a suggestion for what Microsoft or Gap or Amazon should measure as their global maxima? If you’ve been successful getting your CEO to focus on the global maxima, what approach really worked? If you were the role of the Chief Scientist of powerful data intelligence tool company, how would you measure the impact of Social Influencers in a more intelligent manner?

Please add your powerful ideas, brilliant critique and innovative strategies in comments below. I look forward to hearing from you.

Thank you.

Smarter Career Choices #3: Solve for the Global Maxima! is a post from: Occam's Razor by Avinash Kaushik

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